#surviving life

[strayadvice]

[can-i-make-you-some-tea]

Presence.

[laku-incarnate]

Jan Švankmajer, Androgyne, 1990.

[vivendoblog]

Slow down.

Life is passing by and are we living or surviving?! 🍃

[rodpower78]

It takes more to survive and be here today than to self-destruct and die young!

Michael Monroe

[authorshen]

It's My Birthday 🎉

Content Warning: Spite & Drowning

It doesn't matter if I am 4 or 400, I will continue to celebrate my birthday. You might wonder why a middle aged person would be happy about getting another year closer to the great beyond. The short answer is simple, I am alive. The long answer will take more time.

The year was 1990. My father and his best friend decided to go white water rafting in a metal motorboat, and bring me along. They were not smart people. I remember hitting the bump that made me fall in; I remember the water and bubbles above my head, my burning for air, and getting water instead.

I died.

My father brought me back, but I had stopped breathing. I didn't go to the hospital, and dad never spoke of it to anyone. The only other person that was there died three years later. I still hate to swim, and I have costocondritus, but I beat death.

I have had several occurrences where I came close to death, but that is the only time I passed that threshold. Every year I live is a big ole "fuck you" to the universe that keeps trying to kill me.

So, when my birthday rolls around, damn right I am going to shout it to the sky.

It's My Birthday, and I am Alive!

[lolmanthecat]

I was not expecting to be seen and called out here today.

You have become so damaged, that when someone wants to give you what you deserve, you have no idea how to respond.

[asteroidtroglodyte]

5 years ago, I was in Rehab.

10 years ago, I was watching my Potential and Opportunities dissolve and evaporate in an ocean of cheap gin and expensive whiskey.

But 5 years ago, I was in Rehab.

One of the exercises they had us perform was to imagine ourselves happy, 5 years in the future.

Many of us in that room had forgotten how to imagine nice things happening to them. A few snorted (well, I snorted), finding the notion that we’d even still be around in 5 years grimly humorous.

For about half of us, it was the last stop on the way down.

But I indulged the therapist. I was there, after all, because I did not want to die. So, I imagined myself, 5 years hence.

Happy.

It came to me all at once; an artistic remix on Norman Rockwell’s Freedom From Want, reframed with myself placing food at the table.

Sunday Dinner At My Place, I answered, when it came my turn to share my fantasy. I was asked what food I imagined eating.

It’s not the meal itself, I said, it’s the implications framed around it. Sunday Dinner At My Place means that I have a Place. It means that I have Family that will actually speak to me and friends who actually want to see me. It means money enough not just to feed myself but others too. It means having the time to spare to take the time preparing the meal.

A lot of nodding heads all around me. A struck chord. Many people with no Place, in that place. Nowhere that would lament their leaving.

5 years hence, as I lay down to sleep in my Home, with my Wife and my Son, surrounded by my Art and my Flowers, I reflect.

It was a long road. It was hard. We lost people. So many people. There were long days and long nights and hospital stays. Angry arguments with ghosts. I changed, in ways I never hoped for, or expected. Good ways, finally, for once. Slowly, against the backdrop of a world in chaos, I found my mind.

Sometimes, My Wife wondered aloud, what she did to deserve me. After some stumbling with my feelings, I eventually settled on an answer.

I’m a Rescue.

She gave me a Home.

And, so, I gave her a Family.

It seemed fair

This Sunday, my folks, which whom I have not had a shouting match in years, will come over for dinner. We will cook and eat together. My Friend became My Wife, and she took a piece of me and with it she made Our Son. There will be many hugs, and no violence. Good Things Happened.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t know what the future holds.

don’t give up yet, ok?

It could get good, even.

[survivinglife]

Taking the first step is hard

So, my life is a lifetime movie and Jerry Springer episode all in one. I have spent my life taking care of my brother and keeping deep secrets about my life. I have always had a distraction to keep me from dealing with my own crap storms. I no longer have those distractions and life has gotten hard to manage.

I will eventually get into the nitty gritty of my life. I will weed through all of my drama and try to make sense of it all. But I figured the first step was to start by admitting I need help. I have reached out to my counsellor and my psychiatrist. I have come to realize that there is nothing wrong with admitting I deal with anxiety and depression.

I also have realized that I am a survivor of many things in my life and I am not ashamed of any of it. Well... mostly.

My hope is that I will be able to get the help I need to get back to square one. I also hope to share my story. Not because I want props or attention, but to hopefully help others like me.

I think I have said enough for today. My plan is to spend a little time each day opening my world up. If anyone reads this, I hope this helps.

[selfhealingmoments]

[shweetshmoney]

I've really been loving night time a lot more as a morning person, and it's only because that no one has something to do with you during those hours especially 11pm - 4am.

The most peace that I could feel in life, at least for the present time😔

[oncillabrigade]

Finally read Robins!

I have a lot of thoughts, but I just want to say this panel is the funniest thing I've ever seen:

[can-i-make-you-some-tea]

[stil-lindigo]

Bisan is calling for another global strike!

I saw some posts just outlining Jan 21st, and wanted to clarify that Bisan has called for a full seven days of action.

What a global strike would look like is:

calling in sick to work

purchasing bare essentials ahead of the week so you can observe the general boycott of goods / buying as little as you genuinely can

putting in a concerted effort to elevate Palestinian voices and make it clear that this strike is in support of a permanent ceasefire!

For those who will have to purchase necessary goods during this time, please observe the brands that the BDS movement is asking us to boycott!

♢♢♢

Right now is also a good time to mention some better uses for your money during this week.

Available e-sims in Gaza are running low!!

Mirna El Helbawi and her team are working round the clock to continue to connect Palestinians as Israel does its best to cut them off from the rest of the world.

You can learn how to purchase and send e-sims here, and below you’ll find a list of what is currently needed (the areas in brackets indicate what region you should select to buy e-sims in).

--

CareforGaza is an organisation that does verifiably good work, distributing supplies directly to Palestinian families.

They have a Gofundme set up at the moment, but because of Gofundme’s poor track record regarding refusing to transfer funds to Palestinians, I’d recommend continuing to donate directly to their PayPal here.

Good luck to all of you. Don't turn away from Palestine!

[greelin]

people when trauma victims act traumatized especially in a way that is unpalatable to them because it involves lashing out and unpredictable moods and having boundary issues rather than just being demure, sad, and consumable

[i-bet-you-wish-i]

Inspired by @secretdazedragon lovely "vampires are cats' posts and this iconic gif