#surviving life

[strayadvice]

[can-i-make-you-some-tea]

Presence.

[vivendoblog]

Slow down.

Life is passing by and are we living or surviving?! 🍃

[lolmanthecat]

I was not expecting to be seen and called out here today.

You have become so damaged, that when someone wants to give you what you deserve, you have no idea how to respond.

[asteroidtroglodyte]

5 years ago, I was in Rehab.

10 years ago, I was watching my Potential and Opportunities dissolve and evaporate in an ocean of cheap gin and expensive whiskey.

But 5 years ago, I was in Rehab.

One of the exercises they had us perform was to imagine ourselves happy, 5 years in the future.

Many of us in that room had forgotten how to imagine nice things happening to them. A few snorted (well, I snorted), finding the notion that we’d even still be around in 5 years grimly humorous.

For about half of us, it was the last stop on the way down.

But I indulged the therapist. I was there, after all, because I did not want to die. So, I imagined myself, 5 years hence.

Happy.

It came to me all at once; an artistic remix on Norman Rockwell’s Freedom From Want, reframed with myself placing food at the table.

Sunday Dinner At My Place, I answered, when it came my turn to share my fantasy. I was asked what food I imagined eating.

It’s not the meal itself, I said, it’s the implications framed around it. Sunday Dinner At My Place means that I have a Place. It means that I have Family that will actually speak to me and friends who actually want to see me. It means money enough not just to feed myself but others too. It means having the time to spare to take the time preparing the meal.

A lot of nodding heads all around me. A struck chord. Many people with no Place, in that place. Nowhere that would lament their leaving.

5 years hence, as I lay down to sleep in my Home, with my Wife and my Son, surrounded by my Art and my Flowers, I reflect.

It was a long road. It was hard. We lost people. So many people. There were long days and long nights and hospital stays. Angry arguments with ghosts. I changed, in ways I never hoped for, or expected. Good ways, finally, for once. Slowly, against the backdrop of a world in chaos, I found my mind.

Sometimes, My Wife wondered aloud, what she did to deserve me. After some stumbling with my feelings, I eventually settled on an answer.

I’m a Rescue.

She gave me a Home.

And, so, I gave her a Family.

It seemed fair

This Sunday, my folks, which whom I have not had a shouting match in years, will come over for dinner. We will cook and eat together. My Friend became My Wife, and she took a piece of me and with it she made Our Son. There will be many hugs, and no violence. Good Things Happened.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t know what the future holds.

don’t give up yet, ok?

It could get good, even.

[bumbleboa]

oh what a joy it is to get to grow old

[survivinglife]

Taking the first step is hard

So, my life is a lifetime movie and Jerry Springer episode all in one. I have spent my life taking care of my brother and keeping deep secrets about my life. I have always had a distraction to keep me from dealing with my own crap storms. I no longer have those distractions and life has gotten hard to manage.

I will eventually get into the nitty gritty of my life. I will weed through all of my drama and try to make sense of it all. But I figured the first step was to start by admitting I need help. I have reached out to my counsellor and my psychiatrist. I have come to realize that there is nothing wrong with admitting I deal with anxiety and depression.

I also have realized that I am a survivor of many things in my life and I am not ashamed of any of it. Well... mostly.

My hope is that I will be able to get the help I need to get back to square one. I also hope to share my story. Not because I want props or attention, but to hopefully help others like me.

I think I have said enough for today. My plan is to spend a little time each day opening my world up. If anyone reads this, I hope this helps.

[teapot-of-tyrahn]

they should be entitled to financial compensation i think

[selfhealingmoments]

[oncillabrigade]

Finally read Robins!

I have a lot of thoughts, but I just want to say this panel is the funniest thing I've ever seen:

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

main take aways from Halloween (1978) rewatch:

michael myers is canonically 21??? this bitch should be at the club

*sees tiddies* ***MURDEROUS RAMPAGE NOISES***

that's it that's the movie

outside of the fact that everyone who has sex is murdered by the narrative, this is a surprisingly chill portrayal of female sexuality? these teen girls are horny and actively enjoying Getting It On with their boytoys. no pushy boyfriends sneaking in through their bedroom windows--these ladies are taking the initiative to sneak out and GET SOME. one of them gets laid and then immediately orders her boyfriend to get her a beer. (yes she gets Slashered soon afterward, but so does the boyfriend so honestly, gender equality.) yes the Final Girl is the only one not having sex, but she's not bullied for that, nor are her friends slut shamed except possibly by being murdered by the narrative

actually the only character who is shown being morally condemned on-screen is michael myers. specifically FOR his violent overreaction to other people's sex lives. (people he is spying on). metaphorically, the villain is American Puritanism sticking its judgy nose into other people's business.

aka Michael Myers Is A Republican

but actually the real villain is the doctor. guy's a judgemental, shaming, pathologizing asshole. and he's been in charge of michael's care since he was SIX YEARS OLD? kid never had a chance. i'd go on a killing spree too

also the parents. where are the parents? it's halloween night and all the teenage girls are home babysitting their younger siblings? come to think of it, michael's first victim was his own older sister, whom he killed while she was babysitting him. teen girls are really shouldering a labour burden here. maybe parentification is the true villain

side note: mike commits his first murder wearing a clown costume...which is never referenced again? his 'iconic' costume is a generic mask and wig and jumpsuit, when we coulda had a Killer Clown Michael Myers??? travesty

i like how the Final Girl and her friend casually smoke weed in her car. yeah she's an honor student and her friend is the sheriff's daughter. yeah they smoke weed. so what it's 1978

(to reiterate, mike is 21 and should be at the club. im not saying he shouldn't be rampaging, im saying it's sad that he broke out, tasted freedom for the first time in his life, and immediately snuck back into his childhood home to go rampaging. let's have a remake where he goes to a nightclub and has a few beers. maybe some slutty dancing. then rampage)

oh no he's hot

[can-i-make-you-some-tea]

[stil-lindigo]

Bisan is calling for another global strike!

I saw some posts just outlining Jan 21st, and wanted to clarify that Bisan has called for a full seven days of action.

What a global strike would look like is:

calling in sick to work

purchasing bare essentials ahead of the week so you can observe the general boycott of goods / buying as little as you genuinely can

putting in a concerted effort to elevate Palestinian voices and make it clear that this strike is in support of a permanent ceasefire!

For those who will have to purchase necessary goods during this time, please observe the brands that the BDS movement is asking us to boycott!

♢♢♢

Right now is also a good time to mention some better uses for your money during this week.

Available e-sims in Gaza are running low!!

Mirna El Helbawi and her team are working round the clock to continue to connect Palestinians as Israel does its best to cut them off from the rest of the world.

You can learn how to purchase and send e-sims here, and below you’ll find a list of what is currently needed (the areas in brackets indicate what region you should select to buy e-sims in).

--

CareforGaza is an organisation that does verifiably good work, distributing supplies directly to Palestinian families.

They have a Gofundme set up at the moment, but because of Gofundme’s poor track record regarding refusing to transfer funds to Palestinians, I’d recommend continuing to donate directly to their PayPal here.

Good luck to all of you. Don't turn away from Palestine!

[beefjumper]

creaking bigb skin so cool i couldn't resist drawing it

[notsofriendlyfriendlyreminder]

It's interesting to think about the things and decisions that changed your life, not even the bad once just decisions.

If I was born a boy I'd be raised differently, not majorly, but differently. My father would be more adamant about me learning how to make and fix stuff. I think I would end up studying physics or electromechanics. I would probably have the same middle school friends but would go to a different high school, focusing on that straight on. Maybe I'd go back to math. Maybe I'd stick to physics or become an electrician like my dad. I don't know if I would write as much.

My parents were very close to moving to the capital city before my younger brother was born. If that happened my life would be entirely different, different middle school, different high school, different friends. I think that is the decision that I think about the most, the scenarios vary a lot.

I nearly chose a teaching focused high school. During my high school years, I realised I want to teach older kids and not work in a kindergarten- on that school working in one is part of the curriculum. I think I'd be miserable, but knowing me I would finish the school no matter what.

Finding an online friend started my internet presence and they played a huge part in discovering my sexuality. I still think of them sometimes, the older I get, I look back more fondly. I was young and unexperienced with unrestricted internet access. But I also talked with people like me. I came out to my parents partly thanks to them.

I like to look back on my life sometimes. I force myself to see the good. It helps :)))