#supposedly rose tea petals

[alexofasinfulnature]

Rosa Odorata

I fear your gentle voice,

it's a reminder that there's always been a choice,

between the serrated blade love I know,

and your sweet love that makes plants grow.

I'm almost envious of their connection,

how they are showered with your affection,

and how they strive to touch you,

if I were a rose I would too.

A rose with nothing to fear,

a rose that only needs you near,

but I am not a rose,

and I'll never get that close.

[salixsociety]

Botanical Folklore and the Divine

On using herbs in your relationship with the divine. Inspired by @adhdcatholicheretic's post about Marian Gardens.

As anyone who's ever had to listen to me talk for more than five minutes will gladly tell you, I am very passionate about folklore, and I think it is something that us contemporary practitioners of magic tend to ignore. Most of us using herbs find ourselves stuck repeating the same patterns of practical herbal magic: teas, poultices, soaps, tinctures. Maybe the occasional loose leaf smoke cleanse instead of some incense. But rarely do I see people use herbs in their encounters and connections to the Gods, and that's what I'd like to write about today; because it's easier than you think.

The Lore

Folklore regarding plants is rife with stories about divinity and its associates. Back when we needed stories not only to remember what plants looked like, but also to explain why they looked the way they did. If you look deep enough, almost any plant in your surroundings is bound to have some stories, a creation myth, an explanation for some peculiarity. Take Lady's Mantle, alchemilla vulgaris, native to Northern Europe, Iceland and Greenland. The large foliage of this herb have an interesting structure and soft texture, and tend to capture dewdrops around their edges and in their middle, which speak to our imagination to this day. The story goes that the old Teutonic peoples thought it to be the tears of either Frigga or Freyja, who were later syncretized into the Virgin Mary. Nowadays the name Lady's Mantle is in reference to the shape of the leaves and how they may resemble Mary's cape, which in turn is subject to much more folklore, as of Rosemary it is said the bright azure flowers got their color from the Virgin throwing her cape over one such bush to let it dry. The saints also get their share of lore, some more explicitly than others. Some got their lore because of pagan rites being Christianised, such as St. John's Wort (hypericum perforatum), which was usually gathered on midsummer's eve or day for its magical properties. That day was later Christianised into St. John's feast day, and the plant turned into a prominent folk-magical plant to ask for St. John's intercession. Others got their lore from their appearance, such as pansies, with their three petals, and then there are of course those with Biblical appearances such as palm and hyssop. But fear not, all my friends worshipping the infernal: Christian folklore regarding plants doesn't end at the Virgin or the Saints. Devil's Bit (succisa pratensis) is one of my favorite examples. A dainty, delicate flower with strong curative properties. What does the Devil have to do with it, then? Well, in his anger at how good it was at curing various ailments, supposedly he rose up from his seat in Hell and bit off the rootstock of every single one. And indeed, if you dig one up, you'll see how strange the root looks, almost as if it's not complete.

The wealth of folklore goes on and on and on. Not just covering Christian divinity: despite my failure to cover it, the lore regarding the pagan gods and their spirits is very much there! Look deep into the Christian lore, oftentimes it had to come from an already extant pagan story. But instead of droning on about examples, I'd like to tell you how to find your own and then apply them in your magical practice.

The Research

I highly recommend researching plant folklore, as its applications go far beyond this little snippet. But it can be overwhelming, so allow me to try and grant you a place to start.

Your first considerations should definitely be your location and your practice, and how they balance each other out. If you are a Danish folk practitioner but you live in the tropics, consider whether you value sticking to traditional plants or using what's outside your door, more. The question for you, reader, is: do you want to use what's traditional, or what's available? Work from there. Make a list. If you want to use what is traditional, make a list of some of your favorites (including herbs you already have!) and the ones you could easily get. Research those first. If you want to use what's available to you in your environment, make a list of plants you already like to use or know a bit about, or if you're a bare bones beginner, plants that stand out to you. See also my post about connecting with the plants in your environment.

The best places to start research are definitely peer-reviewed and academic sources, not something like Wiccapedia. Folklore has logic, and structure, and anthropologists, ethnobotanists and folklorists are by far the best at conveying it. Often Wikipedia will have some tidbits to jump off of, but if not, look regionally. Archives, books about certain regions or countries, museums, universities tend to have the best sources. See the end of this post for some source recommendations.

The Application

So how does one actually go about applying all this? That, of course, depends on your practice. But the idea is to use this lore, and the connection it gives you to your divine, their behavior, their motivations, their stories, etc, to bring you closer to your magic and your faith. Some ideas:

Plant a devotional garden, big or small, with plants that feature your divine in their lore, perhaps in combination with plants that remind you of them.

Burn or make incense with the plants and use it for rituals, during prayer, to invoke them, etc.

Offer the plants (ethically sourced) to your divine.

Use the plants for something practical (make food with berries, fiber with flax, syrup with flowers) and offer your labor or part/all of the finished product to your divine.

Make art with the plants of your divine (weave something, make dye/paint out of them).

Put in conservation efforts or donate to those making the conservation efforts to preserve the plants, if they are endangered or about to be.

If it is a tree or several trees, find a stand of them (or just a single one that you like) near you, and use it as a place of worship or make a shrine there.

But it could be even as simple as thinking of your gods when you see the plants in question. Ultimately, that is where the lore came from, and that is what the lore is for. Knowing the stories, and feeling what they mean to you, is an important way to connect with your Gods.

Just a Few Source Recs

Note: my practice revolves around Alaska and Europe, so that's what my sources reflect. But my ask box is always open for resource requests, and I may do a little looking around for you!

Compendium of Ritual and Symbolic Plants in Europe - M. Cleene and M. Lejeune (available on Archive.org)

Native American Ethnobotany Database

Forestry Service/U.S. Dept. of Agriculture

The Medieval Garden Enclosed

Masterlist of Ethnobotany/folklore/etc sources coming soon.

[gemwel]

Have you ever looked at roses and wondered if they were tasty? (Or maybe you went to a restaurant with something like rose milk tea with rose jelly that you got & liked).

Well, here is a guide to eating roses.

(Please note that people tend to put all kinds of nasty chemicals on roses sold both commercially & that you find growing at a neighbor's house, so please make sure they are unsprayed/untreated/organic before consuming them and always ask permission if they are growing on someone else's land).

First, go early in the morning (as that lovely rose scent will disappear as the day heats up) & pick some just opening flowers. Then wash them to remove dirt and bugs.

These are some common domestic roses (Mr. Lincoln, Queen Elizabeth, etc), but if you are buying roses to eat, supposedly Damascus roses are the best. Next, you will gently remove the petals from the stem (a slight twist & pull is usually sufficient). Now you have to choose preparing fresh (rose jam, rose jelly, rose syrup, rose oil, rose water, etc) or drying them for later.

In this case, I dried them.

As you can see, once I had just over 2 quarts/2 liters, I proceeded to the next step. Grinding them to a fine powder in the blender.

As you can see, grinding the petals dramatically reduces the overall volume. For long term storage of the powder, I sift it (through a sieve) and dry again before storing it in glass jars.

This powder is really nice to have on hand. One spoonful into a cup of hot water or coffee makes a nice drink. Or you can add it to baked goods for rose flavor & color.

In this case, I am going to make waffles. I started with a commercial pancake mix, added ingredients suggested on the box and a good amount (no more than 1/10 the volume of mix/flour) of rose powder. After making the waffles, they looked like this:

I also had some rose syrup using a recipe from a really interesting cookbook about Lebanese pantry staples (which can be made from things that grow well in Mediterranean climates like roses).

The rose syrup was interesting to make as the pigments in the rose petals leach into boiling water, leaving clear, transparent, and slightly chewy petals behind. The book has lots of recipes for fresh rose petals. I water bath canned them for 15 minutes so I can store it long term. It was a two day process to make.

Then I combined the rose waffles with rose syrup to moisten them.

Finally, I used hot water to clean the blender & make my first batch of rose tea. I think the purple color is from my Mr. Lincoln rose.

So there is an entire meal from roses. (If you want a clear tea, use dried whole rose petals & strain them out before drinking).

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #104

I didn't do nearly as much today as I thought I was gonna. I had this giant huge list in my mind that included a shower, physical therapy, laundry, dishes, a couple phone calls, steaming some salmon, getting a couple things we need for the house delivered from the internet, working on the thingy that I'm not gonna talk about until it's done, and maybe making some rice pudding.

…But all I managed was the shower, physical therapy, one of the two phone calls, and steaming some salmon. Bah.

I suppose 4 of the 10 things (I'm counting the phone calls as two things) isn't bad, considering that on top of still recovering from sleep deprivation, my body is also throwing a hell of a tantrum over the fact that I'm not actively in the process of building a new human. For me, the amount of loss is about twice as much and for twice as long as what's typical, so the end result is that I lose about 4 times the resources than is normal. And then, of course, there is the pain that occurs throughout this process. Fun, fun.

Supposedly, this process is necessary because human zygotes burrow until they find blood. This causes problems, so it's better to have a layer of it so that they don't burrow too far directly into our flesh. But for a variety of compelling reasons, you can't have a random layer of blood that sticks around for too terribly long without it getting weird and causing other problems, so every once in a while, it's gotta get torn down and rebuilt.

The natural result is that I don't have nearly as much energy as I might otherwise, which is a bit of a bummer. That's all right though. It's only temporary. Ultimately, everything is temporary; even my currently-assigned flesh-vessel ain't gonna last forever. It's the way of things. I'm not sad about it.

I got some new teas and they arrived today. One of them is a decaffeinated black tea with vanilla and nutmeg (which I am about to try!), and the other one is a lychee and rose petal tea. I thought of you when I saw these ones (since it is known that you like the scents of vanilla and also roses), and I thought maybe you'd like them, so I thought to give them a try, just in case someday I might be able to tell you all about how awesome it is, or even share a cup of the stuff with you.

…The vanilla and nutmeg tea is wonderful. I put some honey and milk in it. I really wish I could give you a mug of the stuff. But I can't. So I'll send along the pictures I took for you as I brewed it.

This is the box it came in. It's got a cute little owl on it with teacups for eyes, I guess. I really like owls, especially barn owls, so this is some huge points in its favor, right off the bat, haha!

Here's how it looked before adding milk and honey.

And here's how it looked after adding milk and honey. You'll also see a very curious Hunter. But Hunter is mostly curious because I'm still steaming the salmon, and he thinks that me going to the counter means he's gonna get a tiny piece of salmon. Which, to be fair, is normally a very astute observation on his part, but while the salmon does smell heavenly, it is still not ready, and I therefore do not have any to give to him. Against the law, I know, I know; suppose you better pop by and cart me off to "disappointed cat jail", right? But it's better that he wait than get sick from eating undercooked salmon; I don't think the stuff available at the grocery is sushi-grade, hahaha…

The salmon is done, and it turned out beautifully. I made myself a small bowl of it, for… ya know. Quality assurance purposes. Grilling and pan-frying salmon are also wonderful ways of preparing it, but given how it comes out of the steamer all luscious, juicy, and tender enough to be cut with a spoon, this is by far my favorite preparation method.

…And don't worry; now that it's ready, Hunter was able to get a small piece. But ONLY a small piece; this food is not nutritionally complete for him, so it's important that he eats his usual food instead of filling up on this. Don't worry though - his usual food is made for cats, but it's human grade; it could be argued that they eat better than we do!! Hahaha!

…Wish I could talk to you a bit over a mug of tea and a bowl of steamed salmon with buttered rice and veggies. Wouldn't that be neat. Just for a few minutes. A moment's peace and a good meal for just a few minutes. I imagine it would do wonders for your state of mind. But in the meantime, I'll do my best to carry the vast sense of emptiness that stems from the fact that this is impossible. From there, I'll take that sense of emptiness and pour something so beautiful into it that even you could be proud - just like I do with my trees and my silicone molds. Just, with different materials. You'll see.

Please stay safe out there, okay? I'll write to you again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine

[thats-just-mx]

Okay, let's say (hypothetically haha trust me) I'm planning a wedding to take place in the Hotel, and all you human residents have to come. Which tea would you like to be served? I need this info for purely hypothetical wedding scenario planning purposes don't worry nothing sussy.

I would make this a poll, but there are too many options and it surpasses the limit.

The tea flavours:

Wedding tea (White tea with vanilla + rose petals) (Regardless of your choice, everyone will be given a small sample for us to toast with.)

English Breakfast

Chocolate tea (cocoa flavoured black tea)

Chocolate tea (it's hot cocoa lol)

Scottish (strong black tea)

Herbal Peppermint

Herbal Strawberry-kiwi

Japanese Sencha

Coconut and almond black tea

Salty caramel black tea

Chamomile

Chicken flavoured tea (it's chicken broth)

Herbal apple-cinnamon

Herbal spiced vanilla

Some other tea I have with questionable ingredients which supposedly causes a very mild psychedelic effect and may cause vivid dreams (Banned in the state of Louisiana. If the Hotel currently resides in this place during the HYPOTHETICAL wedding, we can not serve it.)

Herbal butterscotch pie

Dark chocolate cookie black tea

[flavor-aid-sekt]

Usagi Café Warsaw

This is a new Japanese café in the center of Warsaw. The place attracts with its beautiful interior: above the door is a large neon sign in the shape of a rabbit, the walls and furniture are white and purple, and garlands of flowers hang from the ceiling. The symbol of the café is the Moon Rabbit, or Usagi in Japanese. According to legends, this rabbit sits on the moon and whips up rice mochi cookies. At the café, all drinks are on oat milk and you can enjoy exceptional coffees here. There's coffee jelly drenched in milk, or the café's specialty, Usagi Latte, which is a berry-infused coffee with purple whipped cream and stars. When someone doesn't like coffee, they can try Hinode tea with flower petals, which changes color. To eat, we have typical Japanese sweet sandwiches with fruit or onigiri with various fillings. The small but unique menu will meet even the biggest demands. A pleasant place for fans of Japanese atmosphere and beautifully served sweets.

1.07.2023

I finally managed to go there! Lovely place, hard to find a free table there, so popular it is. The whole cafe is purple, there are stacks of manga on the shelves, Sailor Moon posters in some places. I unfortunately arrived quite late and the strawberry sandwiches I was most keen on were gone, but it's a good excuse to go there again. Instead, the smug lady offered me a cherry mochi, sprinkled with rose petals. Honestly, it's the best mochi I've had so far. On top of that I ordered a tea, when I added lemon juice to it it turned pink. Sitting next to me was a group of girls in kimonos who were drawing something on tablets while drinking their tea. I wish there was such a lovely café near me, I'd love to go there with a book every now and then and try everything on the menu. * Unfortunately, this is another great venue that has closed. It operated for two years. I wanted to go there again, but found it was no longer on the map. It is supposedly going to appear somewhere else again and the owners are preparing another project, but nothing is known about it at the moment. It's a shame, because I wanted to try more of their sweets. 

[o-wild-west-wind]

Summary: A flower is never just a flower when Stede’s involved—and budding love can make a florist even of a pirate.

A series of vignettes in which Ed learns some flowery language, and the moments in which he practices speaking it. Pure fluff and indulgence, because we can.

Rating: M (language, mostly)

*****

“And the genus Narcissus —comprised of the common daffodil—see here, they come in all sorts of colors—well, they’ll bloom early on in the spring, and so they tend to symbolize rebirth and, and…renewal, I suppose? New beginnings. But, of course, the name alone also implies selfishness. And then color plays a role all unto itself—the white variety, for example, may symbolize purity. And so when combined with this understanding of narcissism, you can imply a more complex meaning; perhaps a desire for transformation—to move away from the ego, for example, and reinvent yourself into a life of virtue, of good.”

“Huh…fascinating. What if it’s blue?”

“Oh, Ed, daffodils can’t be blue!”

“So what is that, then?”

“Oh, this?” Stede points to the opposite page, a subtle reverence as he runs a thumb over the swath of petals. “This is something else entirely. The genus Iris. You know, blue is actually quite rare to find in the natural world—ironic, isn’t it, when we’re surrounded by the blue of the sea and the sky all day long, as if nature is nothing but blue?—but, anyway…because it’s so rare, anything blue tends to be held in high regard.

“Now, the iris happens to be named for the Greek goddess of the rainbow, supposedly a messenger between the realms of the mortal and the divine. If you give an iris to someone—well, they’d better be someone that means something to you. Perhaps a loved one who has died, who you may want to help pass into the next world…or, or perhaps just someone you want to celebrate your love with? And if it’s blue—that will symbolize faith, and hope. A blue iris…well, a blue iris is something you’d give to someone you love as a reminder to keep their chin up. Someone you don’t want to lose hope…someone you’re trying to tell that things aren’t as dark as they seem.”

“Huh. That’s a lot of stuff for a flower, eh?

“Oh! And you know what’s fun about the iris?” He turns to Ed, a vibrant zeal in the crinkle of his eyes. “Look here!”

“Uh-huh.”

“It’s got a beard! Like you!"

“Hm. That’s a beard?”

“Yes! Well— some irises have beards, in any case. That’s one of their variations, but they’re the ones you’ll more commonly find in your—”

“That doesn’t look like a beard, mate.”

“Well, you do have to look outside the box a little with these things, you know. Like—like constellations, right? How Canis Minor is nothing but two stars in the sky, and yet we still call it the ‘Little Dog?’”

“I don’t really get that one either.” He raises a brow, and he meets Stede’s eager eye before he flickers his own back to the page. “But, yeah…okay, yeah, I can see it now. That round-looking thing, down on the bottom half?”

“Yes, that’s it!”

“Huh. Flowers with beards. Who knew.”

“Aren’t they just amazing?” Stede flips through the pages, lingering on each with a quiet admiration. “I do hope I’m not boring you with this, Ed. I know they’re not everyone’s cup of tea. Especially…well—”

“Boring me? Hell, this is the opposite of boring. I wanna know more.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, you think I get to see flowers and shit all the time out here? Nah—this is a novelty, mate.” What he doesn’t tell Stede is that he couldn’t tell a rose from a rhododendron, and he honestly couldn’t have cared less; but who is he to stop a man whose passion is so contagious, that now he’s beginning to see beards in flowers, too? “Now, what I want to know is, you know, all these flowers have all these nice, happy meanings—what if you don’t want to be nice? What if you want to give a good ‘fuck you,’ you know?”

Stede’s eyes crinkle at the edges again—that mischievous sort of look he gets as if he’s about to commit some sort of sin, and then comes out with something so innocuous that he’s suddenly even more innocent than he was before. “Oh, there are definitely ways you could tell someone to piss off with a bouquet.”

Ed smiles. “Nice.”

“Let me see…ah. Here we go: wolfsbane—quite a pretty thing in purple, but it’s actually an omen of danger, and death!”

“Wolfsbane…”

“Yes, sometimes used to ward off wolves—it’s quite poisonous.”

“I like that one…that can be my flower.”

“You’re not—” Stede looks him over for a second, his forehead wrinkled by the scrunch of his eyebrows. “Oh. Well, maybe…shouldn’t it be the opposite, though?”

“How do you mean?”

“You seem like an omen at first, but you’re actually—actually…well.” He clears his throat. “Anyway. Yes, wolfsbane is a…a neat one…oh!” He flips the page, eyes wide once again. “The carnation is interesting. It all depends on the color. If it’s red, for example, it means love—most red things do, really—but if it’s yellow, you can imply to someone that you’re disappointed in them.”

“Okay…okay, nice. So we’ve got flowers that mean death and disappointment. What else?”

“The horseshoe geranium,” Stede starts with a coy smile, “is for telling someone they’re stupid.”

“Aw, that’s a good one.”

“And I haven’t told you my personal favorite yet!”

“What’s that?”

“Lilium bulbiferum , or the orange lily. A beautiful specimen to say ‘fuck you,’ in the simplest of terms.”

“Shit. Shit, I can send flower hate-mail. This is awesome.”

“Isn’t it?”

“Damn…who knew flowers were so fun?”

“Yes— yes! Thank you, you get it!”

“Okay, what about…” Ed puts a finger to the sketch on the open page, an elegant flush of layered red petals, “this one?”

“This? This is a type of rose…but I suppose you wouldn’t have seen it out here, would you?”

“Nope. What’s it mean?”

“This one,” Stede brushes his fingers across the page, carelessly bumping them into Ed's own, “means ‘I love you.’”

Read the rest on AO3.

[carriagelamp]

April l was apparently the month for me to revisit some children’s authors who are steeped in controversy at the moment. So here’s my hot (well, lukewarm) takes on issues that absolutely do not need a single other person talking about them. Also some actual good books that I read this month!

Badger in the Basement

The Animal Ark books are a childhood classic — though I recently found out that apparently there’s a difference between American and British publications, and the American versions didn’t include a lot of actual COOL animals which is… bizarre. As a Canadian stuck in the middle of this, this nonsense drives me nuts. This one was about the main character, the daughter of pair of vets, trying to protect a local badger sett from men wanting to participate in badger digging and baiting. These books are always feel-good, and it was a nice single-day-read while I waited for a library book to come in.

Chi’s Sweet Home

The cutest manga series about the misadventures of a little kitten, Chi, who has been adopted by a loving family. I’ve never bothered to read them in order, but apparently this time I stumbled across the last in the series -- whoops! Still, stood on it’s own pretty easily, and it was a fun read! Things get tense when the family realize that they may have found Chi’s original home… and may have to give up Chi forever.

Earth Before Us: Dinosaur Empire!

This was an odd graphic novel, I feel like I’m not sure who the target audience was exactly. It was a nonfiction comic done in a Magic School Bus style, with the purpose of teaching current, up-to-date facts about the animals that lived in the Mesozoic Era. If you’re into dinosaurs, you’ll probably enjoy this! The art is absolutely adorable, I love the dinosaur illustrations, and I learnt some really neat facts. That being said, the pages are really dense, and there’s a lot of info crammed in… some of it will probably go way over a child’s head without specific additional teaching or a very strong personal interest. But that being said, a dinosaur obsessed kid is still probably going to really dig this… as would a dinosaur obsessed adult. It wasn’t my cup of tea exactly but I’m sure it is someone’s.

assorted Dr Seuss Books

I love these types of controversies because it means getting to listen to every moron who has never had an opinion on Dr Seuss ever start generating a mile of them out of the aether. So many people are so mad about the six books that are getting retired and I bet most of them haven’t even read them. These are not the friggin Cat In The Hat or The Lorax or even the likes of Yertle The Turtle. I was raised by a grade one teacher, was a voracious reader who loved Dr Seuss, and wrote my university thesis on children’s literature, and I still only knew two of the six books on that list. So by all means, if you want to write an essay explaining why those specific books are worth clinging to, feel free, but if you haven’t even heard of them maybe it’s not a big deal. *grumble*

Anyway, my grousing aside, it gave me the urge to reread a bunch of Seuss books, including the two retiring books I personally knew: McElligot’s Pool and To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street. I do still enjoy both, especially McElligot’s Pool which always sparked my imagination, but it’s obvious why they’re being retired and I personally think it’s the right choice. There’s so much good kidlit out there, we can survive without these.

Goodbye, My Rose Garden

A f/f romance manga, fairly standard fair though cute if you’re looking for some historical angst, pretty dresses, and mutual pining. A young Japanese woman moves to England in the hopes of meeting a writer (Mr Frank) who she has long admired. Along the way she is employed by an enigmatic woman with plenty of money, rumours, and melancholy following her. I’ll be honest, uncut romance isn’t really my genre, but I’ll probably still try to the second book to see if the story picks up.

From The Holocaust to Hogan’s Heroes: The Autobiography of Robert Clary

It’s no secret that I’ve been on a Hogan’s Heroes kick. This is the autobiography of Roberty Clary, who plays my favourite character in the show, Louis Lebeau. And holy shit what a life this man has had. He was a Jew growing up in France before the start of the war, and who was one of many children taken away from his family and sent off to the concentration camps in Germany. This was an amazing, intense, inspiring, and heartbreaking read… it has Clary’s voice all over it, and it tells everything from the charming childhood he had, to the horrors of the concentration camps, the brutality of survival, and then about his exciting journey into the entertainment industry afterwards. It’s an experience, would recommend if you’re a fan of the show.

The Ickabog

The second controversial author I read this month. Originally I was going to give Rowling’s new book a miss, given everything that’s been going on over the past few years, but in the end my curiosity got the better of me. Politics aside, it was a fun read! Not groundbreaking, but enjoyable enough and written in an interesting style. It didn’t read the same as a lot of modern kidlit, it felt more like a cross between a classic fairytale and a Dahl book. Perhaps a bit like Despereaux. It tells the tale of how an idyllic country gradually falls into ruin through the ignorance, inaction, and greed, and how a supposedly fictional monster hides the very real, human monsters at the heart of the country. It was cute and pleasant and I’m glad I decided to get it from the library, though for anyone who is choosing not to engage for political reasons: you aren’t missing anything major.

Franklin In The Dark

A Canadian classic. I don’t think there’s a single person my age who hasn’t read or been read a pile of these books, and the nostalgia is so comforting. I found this on Youtube and listened to someone read it to me, and honestly 10/10 would recommend for a calm evening.

The big reason I decided to seek this one out though, was because I finally got to the M*A*S*H episode that inspired this entire series! In the episode C*A*V*E, in which Hawkeye is freaking out over his claustrophia while the camp is forced to take shelter in a nearby cave during some intense shelling, he mentions that if he had been born a turtle he would have been afraid of his own shell, and that the other turtles would make fun of him cause he’d be forced to walk around in his underwear. And so this first story about a young turtle who’s afraid to sleep in his own shell and drags it around behind him. So if you were ever curious, Franklin the Turtle is in fact named after Dr Benjamin Franklin Pierce. (this is also why the French version is named Benjamin!)

Wolves of the Beyond: Lone Wolf

I loved the Guardians of Ga’Hoole books as a kid but I never read the Wolves of the Beyond series. This first book was an interesting read, Lasky does a great job creating worlds and societies for the animals that inhabit them. Lone Wolf is about a deformed wolf cub who was abandoned in the wilderness to die. And he would have, if a desperate mother bear, who had recently had her only cub killed, hadn’t stumbled across him and saved him, vowing to raise him as her own...

Petals

A “silent” graphic novel. It has beautiful artwork and is told entirely through pictures, no text at all. It’s loves and heart-wrenching, though it left me feeling somewhat unsatisfied… I felt like there should have been more. Still, a neat story.

The Southern Book Club‘s Guide To Slaying Vampires

What a banger of a novel!! I can’t recommend this one enough. It’s about a group of suburban mothers in the ‘80s who form a book club out of a shared need for community and a love of grisly true crime novels. But when a strange drifter appears in town and starts setting down roots… and when children begin disappearing… these women need to band together to confront the horrors that have invaded their neighbourhood, and face down not only a terrifying monster among them but the patriarchal system that allows it to flourish. To quote the preface:

“Because vampires are the original serial killers, stripped of everything that makes us human — they have no friends, no family, no roots, no children. All they have is hunger. They eat and eat but they’re never full. With this book, I wanted to pit a man freed from all responsibilities but his appetites against women whose lives are shaped by their endless responsibilities. I wanted to pit Dracula against my mom.    As you’ll see, it’s not a fair fight.“

The Weirn Books: Be Wary of the Silent Woods

I love Chmakova’s graphic novels, though I’ve only ever read her slice-of-life middle grade series before. This one is pure fantasy and very fun. It’s about two cousin “weirns” — witches with demon familiars — who attend the local night school. Things get strange though when an ominous figure appears outside the old, abandoned school house deep in the Silent Woods, and begins tempting children down its path…

I’m very much looking forward to word of a second book and was honestly kind of surprised that I haven’t heard more about this book given how popular her other series is. This has all the same charm and quirks but for those of us who prefer stories based in fantasy rather than reality.

And A Bonus...

For some masochistic reason I got a Garfield book out of the library. Jeez, if I didn’t love these as a kid, I found them absolutely laugh out loud hilarious, and now I just don’t see it anymore. But here I will share the one strip in the book that actually made me laugh

[ji-yaaan]

𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐲...

Yandere!Malleus x Reader Oneshot

Warnings: Mentions of death, blood, self harm, toxic relationships.

Note: Yandere time kids! \(óvò)/ time to debut as a yandere writer... Lolololol jk! But seriously, I think I enjoyed writing this too much- hmmmmm I don't know what to say anymore..... Anyways have fun reading ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Rain dripping down the skies. Heavens weeped their sorrows. Raindrops pitter-pattered on the glass windows, loneliness fills the room accompanied by a cold wind that gushed from the open windows. Ice cold raindrops hit your frozen face. How you wished to wail out your misery and despair... 

Life is unfair...When was it fair? When you had the 5 seconds in which your escape from this endless nightmare was in the grasp of your hands? Freedom was in arm's reach, yet the so called freedom was a lie painted in sweet colorful rotten words.

"God... Is this a joke? Is this a test? Is this a Nightmare? Why have you forsaken me?" You questioned the heavens pouring down heavily. As if to mock you, a loud boom of thunder echoed up above, lightning lit up the dark grey skies for a brief moment...

Empty eyes filled with sorrows gazed up the heavens, unironically, the abyss stared back at their lifeless soul. You scoffed as the heavens ridicule you, a scornful laughter escaped your lips. Only to be interrupted by a loud creak of the wooden doors that rang across the room. "Hmmmmm? Y/N darling, what are you doing by the windows? See.... Look at you.... You're drenched and you might get sick..." A deep sigh escaped the fae's lips as his eyebrows furrowed from worry. "You really have a knack for getting people worried, my love..."

How disgusting "If you're really worried, you should've let me go by now..."

Is what you'd like to say, but why make it worse for yourself? Instead of a truthful answer, you simply stared at the man you loathed most... Malleus Draconia... The great man of The Valley of thorns... The infamous man who's part of the top 5 greatest mages... The powerful prince, who's heir to the throne... Just why must he stoop this low to abduct someone with the stupid excuse of true love?

A pair of peridot orbs that seemed to glow in the dark sent shivers down your spine. Those very orbs that stared straight down at you suffocating your chest. "I'm sorry..." You have to keep it together... You worked so hard to earn this man's trust and favor, you planned your way out of this mess... The show must go on The fae walked towards your direction, inching closer and closer. The air around you seemed suffocating as it became harder to breathe. The man you despised the most... the man you detested most... held your chin up to face him as he towered over your figure. Malleus brushed away a stray hair in your forehead. His peridot eyes that looked like gems allured you, they shone brightly despite the fact that both of you were surrounded by plain darkness. You felt small in his precence...

The fae held unto both of your cheeks as he placed a small gentle kiss atop your forehead. Almost af if it was done in a loving manner... He rested his forehead in yours, darting his gaze back unto yours. "I love you, my darling..." His eyes pierced your soul as a cold sweat ran through your spine. You were speechless, tongue was tied, no words escaped your lips. Growing paler by second, colors leaving your face. A shiver went down your spine as the dark fae held unto your neck, grasp tightening as moments pass. Your pulse and your heartbeat ringing in your ears, your brain was set in a frenzy as hands tightened around your neck. Caught up in a moment of hysteria, the lack of oxygen caused you to gasp for air, as you stared at the glowing pair of eyes inches above you. Your stomach churns, adrenaline rushed up your body. You forced yourself to say the words that left a disgusting taste in your mouth... "I love you too..." Your lips curved up forming a weak forced smile as a pair of lips devoured yours. A distinct taste of bitter sour berries spreads inside your mouth, like a deadly disease blooming in chaos...

Rays of warm sunlight lit the stagnant bedrooms. Buried in silken sheets and velvet pillows, cold fingers held you tightly in slumber. Like a nightmare that paralyzed your body, the fae embraced you closely, merley inches apart from one another. How you wished to wake up from this nightmare... Staring blankly at the ceiling, thousands of thoughts lingered on your mind. You wanted to disappear from this sick fate that bounded you to where you are. You closed your eyes, wishing when it opens, you're back in the safety and comfort of your real home.

Day after day, you struggled aimlessly under the grasp of the fae. You felt like life was taken away from your grasp, making you an empty shell of your former self. Smiles became meaningless. Laughter became dull. Your vision painted gre, colors began to burn out... The only thing that's bound to keep you breathing is the hatred you bore for the man you loathed. So you made yourself a show to put on. A mere act of rotten love, like a lovesick songbird chirping lies after lies. The fae believed the deceptive love you showed, drunk in his delusions. With each fables that escaped your lips, a nauseating taste lingers on you mouth.

Now you've come this far. You felt broken beyond repair. The once colorful life you've lived feels like a vivid dream you hopelessly graps on. No means of escape under clutch of the sickening man you despised. How ironic life can be.... Hope keeps us breathing, only to kill us at the end. But this time hope is not the only reason for you to be breathing. Seething hatred you bore against Malleus plagued your mind day and night. How you wished your hatred and insanity bore fruit...

Morning dew drops dripped from the lush leaves of the white rose petals. In the garden of the diasomnia halls, there you stood caught in a daze not knowing what to do. You sat down in the lonely table in the middle of the lonesome rose garden. White flowers adorned the scenery as you pick up your cup and took sip of your bitter tea. "How dull..." You flipped  the pages of the worn out book in the midst of your fingers. You savor your sweet time indulging in your pseudo freedom while the fae is away.

In between the crumbling book you held, lies a small note stuck in between the pages. The note you've been reading for the past few weeks, contemplating on it's contents. A wicked smile plastered across your face as you peered unto the dagger that sat across the table. But your vision shifted to something far more interesting... The flask that accompanied the lone dagger. The flask with intricate designs and patterns that's bound to intrigue anyone. The very flask you stole from Malleus' study... "It's time..."

You took a last sip of the tea in your cup. The unpleasant taste still lingered in your mouth. You took the silver dagger beside the glass bottle, charmed by the metal adorned with dainty rose carvings. You sighed as you ponder on whether you're doing something right. "The right thing to do? What a joke..." A broken smile plagued your face as you look up the heavy skies threatening to pour at any moment.

The dagger in your hands pierced the smooth skin under your wrists. Scarlet hues dripped down your arms with each slash of the white metal. What a bore... None of this is painful... Has reality really became dull for you to be this numb to not even feel pain? How disappointing for yourself. Are you even human at this point? Oh right... You died once upon a time when you kissed the man you despised.

As the sunset melted in the dark grey skies, raindrops dripped from the heavens yet again. You felt like time was running out pointing the dagger in your chest. Metal prickling your collarbone, blood spilt unto your dress. A stab across the chest as sweet vermilion ichor gushed from your torso, staining your fingers bright scarlet red. The metal dug deeper under your flesh, followed by a wail escaping your lips. 

"What are you doing!" An ear piercing scream echoed in between the thunders and rain. Malleus raced towards your direction with raging fury evident in his eyes. burning peridot orbs devoured your vision as the fae loomed over your figure. Crouching unto the muddy ground, Malleus asked again "What do you think you're doing?" Possessive chartreuse eyes piercing you deeper than the metal in your chest. A scoff left your mouth as a loathsome grin surfaced your face, a sneer ridiculing the fae before you. A moment of silence passed, but the fae's fury began to grow more with each passing second. Green flames devoured the rose gardens. The very flames that suffocated you. "You're a monster" you said under your breath as a mocking grin graced your lips.

"Then make me the monster that will forever be your nightmare my love..." The fae pulled the dagger out your chest as more blood gushed and pooled under you. "How foolish humans can be... Didn't I tell you? no matter what you do, you cannot escape from me. Even if you ran away to another world.. I’d find you wherever you’ll go. Now let’s stop this twisted game we’re playing before I change my mind." Green flames engulfed your figure for a brief moment.  "ARGHHH!" A weep escaped your lips as you felt the pain from the flames burning the life out of you. The cuts in your wrists and your supposedly wounded chest is nowhere to be seen. Like a vivid dream that never happened. 

You looked at your pathetic state sitting down in the muddy grass as malleus hend unto your arms. Pools of red blood stained your white dress. The rain wailing as the thunders roared in the distance. Green flames engulfing the rose bushes despite the raindrops pouring. You stared at the dagger in your lap that stabbed your flesh, yet the supposedly wounded places are smooth and flawless. No sign of scar or wound to be seen. Nothing...

You stared at the man before you. Towering over your figure, Malleus put a hand on your cheeks as he dries off the droplets that hit your face. Peridot eyes stared down at you. The anger and disappointment still present in his eyes as green flames swallowed the gardens. Oddly enough, this moment you felt nothing, just an empty void inside you, no means of escaping this nightmare. Nothing... Absolutely nothing... No fear, No remorse, No hatred, No Love.

"You cannot escape me, my darling. No one in this twisted world will love you as much as I do. I am your one true love and  I hope you won’t forget that..."  Threats that are masked by sweet sugary words like cheap rotten candies... How disgusting... "Are you sure about that My Love??" Mocking the fae with your words, you inched closer to close the gap that seperated the both of you. Lips mingled with each other, but instead of a sweet reaction from an innocent kiss, The fae violently reacted as he pulled away grabbing unto both your wrists.

"What did you drink?"  Burning eyes that gleamed fury and anger... What a sight to see... The taste of bitter tea mixed with rotting flavors still lingered in your mouth. A wicked smile plastered across your face, you replied "I wonder what it was?" Sharp nails dug under your flesh. Scarlet liquids dripped across your arms. Eyes burning with rage stared down at you. Green flames that glowed surrounded the both of you. Booming thunders echoed up the sky. Loud raindrops hitting the grounds grew louder.

You reached for your pocket to hold out the note you were reading for weeks now. "Eternal slumber" 2 words made the great Malleus Draconia insane. 2 words that destroyed the pseudo world the both of you lived in. 2 words that set aflame to both of your twisted worlds.. 2 words that will set you free from this joke you call life.... Freedom tastes sweet.

"You’re not allowed to leave me... what have you done? Don't do this to me... stop joking around... Y/n you love me right" Eyes brewing with insanity darted their gaze unto you. The man drowning in delusion was drunken in madness. Pale hands made their way to your neck, ice cold fingers gripped your skin as black nails dug your flesh. "Even if I have to use every spell, every magic, I'll make sure to make you wake up and punish you. y/n you won’t escape from me." Tears fell from the fae's face as madness devoured both of your souls. Hands that gripped your neck tightly shook. As Malleus let's go of you. The fae embraced you rigidly, burying his face in the crook of your neck. A weep escapes his lips "Y/n dont leave me..." salty tears trickled down your neck. Alas, you cannot savor this victory for long.

A mocking grin graced your face for one last time. The sky seemed to settle down, but the flames burned brighter. Triumph....this was your sweet triumph... It's funny how you won but now you've lost so much. In fact, you've lost everything now, even yourself.....how sad.... Your eyes began to grown heavy, you simply felt tired. "Goodnight." Your eyes closed shut, never to open again. Unless with a kiss of true love, eternal slumber shall devour you.

The End....

HGNNNNN MALLEUS WAS THE EASIEST TO BULLY OK!? I wanted to do vil, but I'm sweating too much, I can't even think of a concept🤦🤦 oh wait I actually have one..... But that's for another day( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Hope y'all enjoyed this low quality yandere time!🥺🥺🥺🥺

Tagging: @ghostiebabey u said tag u if I make yandere content..... Shame on me for this😔✊

[thirsthourdemon]

What does happiness look like?

Includes: Kuroo

Genre: Angst, a tad of fluff

Warnings: cheating?

A/N: Mwuah Happy? What happy?

Cold and trembling, he was submerged into the freezing water up to his collar bones. Head resting on the dull coloured wall tiles of his bathroom, kuroo stared aimlessly at the edge of his tub. Chapped lips and a bored gaze on his pale face that night. Why cant we just be happy? To be obliviously happy. What did happiness even look like anymore? Was he even worthy of happiness?

These questions constantly seep their way into his head and like the overthinker he was, he’d spend hours remaining in the cold water pondering on when he was every going to see the light again. Bathing for decency. As he stood up from his position, he sneaked a peek at the autumn sky in the small compact window on top of his bathroom. Though his body was telling him to quickly cover himself, he simply took his time wearing clothes, still dazed. The moaning and groaning of his stomach, though not new, did not fell into deaf ears as he had thought to walked over to the local ramen shop to get something to eat. It wasn’t foreign for him to feel that as he had been doing that for a while. Eating just to survive. He pockets his keys and looks over at the jersey he was supposedly proud of. Framed with a picture of his previous volleyball team beside it. The smile he has on his face with the sweat dripping down his brow. Staying alive just for the sake of being alive.

What face will he make when he sees what happiness looks like again? The clicking of the door echoed telling him that he could go already. Once again taking his time, he admired the view of the night all the while not noticing the fumbling bike about to crash at him. In a swift moment he had barely moved aside as the bike had coming crashing into the pile of garbage cans. The loud crash scaring the kittens that have been concealing themselves using the bins and bags. “Im fi-hay-ne” she slurs through her loud announcement of her state while trying to pick herself up from the rubble.

“I wasn’t asking-“ “Well that’s mean! Didn’t your mother teach you to help those who needed it?” She banters while patting herself to rid of the dirt, though that did nothing to the stench that she now had on her. “You dont seem like you need help though...” his voice was in between a low growl and mumble. “Ha?! Look at this boy! Not even helping a lady! Who raised you?” She starts grumbling, picking up her bike and trying to get back on, ultimately failing. The night was so dark that only the light post was illuminating the way, looking at the ill mannered girl, he had finally gotten a good look of her face.

Scrunched up nose with stars for eyes, clearly scratched and a bit of filth layed on her soft cheeks. Her brows furrowed to the center and sweat glistening on her forehead. Cutting through his admiring thoughts” Then let me help you. My apartment is near by” he utters, seemingly regretting this but accepting the situation when she turns to him with a toothy grin and runs close him.

She smelled of garbage and oil, amusing him though she starts rambling about her day.

Wow she actually thinks I care...Hmmm...when will she even stop talking? At least she’s not awkward, I guess? What is she even talking about? “-So there I was right? He was trying to talk me into letting him eat me while I was on my period. Calling me his little ketchup packet-“ “HAHAHAHAHAHA WHAT?!” A hyena like laughter emits from his lips. When was the last time he even laughed like this? His grabbed onto his sides and cackled the night away. The night, the moment he looked at her...

His eyes relaxed and a small smile to his dry lips, that was the face he had when he had finally seen what happiness looked like again.

The face he had made everyday since then.

“Tetsu! Look at the kitten mugs! We should get some! It looks great!” “Y/N, we dont need-“ “LOOK! They even have nekoma themed mugs! And fukurodani ones! These are great! Did you know I actually went to fukurodani?” Her blabber was a tune that was constantly stuck to his head now. Watching her bring the mugs to the counter, he quickly hands his card to the register without her protest...well up until “I could have handled that yknow?” Another one of her famous complaints. Who knew happiness was a small woman in an old jacket and was as aggressive as a chihuahua?

“Fine, then you can buy the tea, kitten?” The raven offered as she feels her cheeks grow warm at the nickname. “Of course Im paying for tea, idiot!” Hurriedly grabbing her shopping bag and walking to the entrance that kuroo had opened for her. Walking side by side while munching on the weird convenience store they had both decided on.

“I like these! We should buy more next time, no?” Gasping at the delicious snack.

“Make yourself at home...” “Will do, sir~” she enters his apartment so casually and places the mugs down. Plopping down on her, self-proclaimed, spot while the rooster haired male had set up his kitchen for some tea she sets up the show they were going to watch. Spotting some packets of convenience store food, the smaller girl stared at them and started arising from her seat.

Kuroo felt small arms wrap around his waist and a cheek to his back. “Tetsu...” “Yes, kitten?” Replying with a teasing voice however regretting it as soon the male realizes what was happening. “I told you not to eat convenience store food anymore!” She scolds. Sigh It was a sight to behold. A 6ft tall man saying sorry to a smaller female, who was not even his lover, scolding him of not taking better care of himself. Though after all has been said and done she brings him to a cuddle on the couch. “Im just scolding you because I lov- ehem I..aughh I mean be-cause... you aren’t taking care of yourself again...you idiot” The last part sounding almost like a whisper. He was safe, content and most of all happy.

Recalling the questions he once had in his head.

Who knew happiness looked like her? An aggressive small girl who was way too confident.

A certain warm light to her eyes. Brow always dripping with sweat. She was fierce and weirdly competitive in things that don’t really matter.

‘Who could eat the most mochi?’ ‘Who could finish their tea first?’ Most of which the former captain would entertain. Happiness looked like her whenever she would run after the birds at the park and giggle at their “Cowardice” to face her.

Happiness sounded like her odd stories and her voice shouting at the store owner to haggle with her. She was happiness. She was his happiness.

He knew in himself that he liked her of course. Through his ups and downs they were together. The convincing him to go to classes. Y/N constantly riding up to his apartment just so she made sure he would actually go. Her constant “Good morning”...the...

“Tetsu, come on. It’s a great day to go to do something after classes!”

“OI! WHAT ARE YOU EATING?! You think rice is cheap? Ha?! Eat the food I made! No more instant noodles!”

“It’s okay. Let it all out. Im here. Your feelings are valid, okay?”

“Hey tetsu, I bought some Grilled Salted Mackerel pike!”

Until it became...

“Kitten! Let’s go to the beach!”

“Hey! Eat your food! It’ll get cold yknow?”

“Chibi-chan! You can’t even catch up!”

“Do you need help with that one? Here you do it like this...”

“Y/N, kenma said we’re meeting up at the cafe near the station. Wanna get ready at 10?”

“Hey shut the fuck up! She can wear whatever she wants. You’re just a pervert if you think you’re allowed to cat call her just for wearing clothes, ass hole”

Coming back to his younger, more passionate self. The happiest and the best version of himself, he thought that through this he was at least worthy and deserving of being loved by her.

However not everything is perfect. There were days where Y/N couldn’t even stop by. She was tired and she needed to rest for herself. Kuroo understand that but lately she was a bit too busy.

Was she busy? He wouldn’t have doubter her if...he hadnt..He saw her walking out of campus with a guy that day. More specifically the school’s counseling president.. She was so nice. Nice to everyone. Even to people like that. She was even nice to him. Him. He wasn’t even anybody. He was nothing and she was everything. He hated to think about it but...Maybe she just did that out of pity. She’s so nice that she would do that. Who was he?

Who was he to be important? He wasn’t a president of anything. He was just himself. Was he even worthy enough that she takes care of him to such an extent? What could he do for her though?

The sudden creak of the door alerts him, his sharp eyes meet Y/N’s frame holding a bouquet of flowers. “Oh hey can you help with these? The guys at the committee bought them for me as thanks but I honestly like gardens more hahaha Still sweet though” Taking off her shoes and handing him the big bouquet of red to pink roses. He could have done much better. She didn’t even like their stupid bouquet.

“There’s a green house tea house thing close to my university. Wanna go then? I mean Im going to be dropping some stuff off at my locker so-“ “Really?! Sure!” An excited squeal came from her lips while she stepped in and occupied the majority of the couch in a deflated or one might say tired pose.

“Please pick from our flower charms!” The host to the tea shop announcing enthusiastically at the duo. Normally the two would have picked different flowers however captivated by certain flowers with bright pink petals that point to the sky. Cyclamens with small papers which read “Fight for your love”.

Just like fortune cookies.

Well what do you know? Passionate love then? What a coincidence due to the situation. To fight for your love.

Being seated at their booth, both had looked around the place. Clumsily piled high with beautiful plants and the sun light almost seemed too perfectly placed. Y/N looked as if she belonged there. With the flora decorating her, one would have considered her a fairy. “You look...N-nice...kitten” stuttering to even find the right things to say.

Under the table...

She had gently inched her small fingertips to touch his calloused ones. Holding at least a portion of her hand. Soft ,comforting and happy. When the tea had arrived Kuroo had only taken a small sip until he rejected the floral drink completely. “You know Chrysanthemums actually means Loyalty and patience? It’s really cool!” With the tea’s edge to her slightly parted lips, the young female had taken a quiet sip.

She enjoys the date with her hand completely clasped in his under the table. Shoulders touching and giggling at whatever kuroo was showing her on his phone. It was literal paradise. Beautiful flora, wonderful food and amazing her. It was perfection in a moment. The sun’s afternoon light striped through her hair and a portion of her cheek. Magic.

It was all until she had started squirming and gripping his hand tighter. “T-tesu...I ughh...I like someone. It’s this guy and...he...I think he might be the one, tetsu! He buys tea with me and holds me like Im home...”

So he was right. He was correct this time. He was so used to being wrong that right now being right felt like a punishment. Tetsuro though that he was the only one who he did those things with. So right and so wrong at the same time.

The little glimmer of happiness in him slightly fading.

He was just there because she pitied him.

He hated it but he didn’t say that, he couldn’t. He had his signature grin on as he knuckles her hair he says something along the lines of “You! You’re going to scare him off! Hahaha! You’re so stubborn too, chibi-chan!”

The laughter was sweet as the tea he had refused to drink. A few moments later the male had left saying that he had to relieve himself though he barely drank anything.

1: 02 PM

3: 27 PM

“Miss, would you like me to sit with-“ “Oh? Oh! No! Sorry! Im actually with someone. Im just waiting for him”

“Oh sorry! I thought you were alone”

6: 12 PM

8: 45 PM

“Umm...miss, we’re actually going to close now”

...

“Hello? Tetsu-“ “This number cannot be reached. Please try again-“

“UGH! I am so kicking his ass when I see him! Ditching me like that!...” Shuffling to gather her things and hurriedly asking for the bill. She leaves the moment she’s cleared and in search of the rooster head male.

Meanwhile the male was in the library ever since. Trying to simply clear his head. Trying to understand what had just happened. Recalling the exact moment that you weren’t his anymore. When a woman in a skimpy outfit had cat called him when he was about to leave. Something about how he looked well hung. Livid, he grabbed her to the side which she obliged in.

This was wrong.

Though why would he care? He was always wrong. The one moment where he was correct he was also wrong. He clenched his fist and forcibly bit his lips.

He was cringing at all of this. Y/N was supposed to be his and yet...She had to choose...and she chose someone who deserved her love.

The disgusting moans of the woman he was making out with at the alley way. Hungry, disgusted and furious. His touches were rough and almost hurting her.

Again, why would he care? Y/N didn’t even like him! He was only taken care of out of pity! He was nothing! All he was...was wrong.

Empty and wrong.

He took it all out on the innocent girl’s cunt. Kuroo called out for her. Her nickname.

Grasping and groaning ‘kitten’. Balls deep in this bitch he picked up from the street when his phone started ringing.

The light of his screen illuminating them.

On the other side of this though...Y/N was walking to his apartment to see if he was there. Also just as livid. Tear stained. Her mascara smudged. No longer looking like a fresh flower. A wilted yellow carnation to her hair while her hands fumbled with her phone. She felt betrayed. She felt useless. It took so much for her to even confess! She had to time everything! To the hand holding and intimate touches.

Even rejecting the council president because of him!

He was a jerk! Why would he even invite her to a date if he was just going to ditch her?

Was she the one in the wrong this time though? Did he even like her? Why would he just invite her?

Did she misunderstand? Were they just friends?...

Finally confessing to him and he just-...mid step. Her head just momentarily looking to the side, to the alleyway. When a familiar figure was illuminated by a screen’s light in his pocket. A familiar figure with a familiar ring tone in a foreign situation. The flower on her hair dropping to her worn out shoes.

It was like a blink. Like a flicker of the light. It was at least just 2 seconds when she saw it.

There he was. Frustrated, grinning, calling out for his ‘kitten’ and balls deep in a girl she has never even seen before.

Taglist: @boosyboo9206 @kuroos-babie @yamaguchi-stan @janellion @cthuroo (thank you for helping me I love you) @my-mass-hysteria @zoppzoop

[kimmycup]

Writer's Month 2020 Day 7: hurt/comfort

Find previous chapters on my blog under the tag #writersmonth2020.

Tony knew it had to happen eventually. In a way, he knew them staying in Malibu was both putting a band aid on a gunshot wound and creating a controlled environment for when Loki actually snapped. Knowing didn't exactly help prepare either of them.

They got up early today, after falling asleep watching a movie the night before. The sun was still soft and wind chilly. The terrace window was open, the breeze moving Loki's hair where he stood staring at the steaming mug of tea.

And suddenly Tony knew, watching that gaze, that they weren't in for a quiet breakfast.

"Lokes? Darling?"

Loki raised his hand tentatively and within a flicker of a moment the steam disappeared. Tony stared at the mug, wondering what he witnessed. Then Loki moved his hand again and Tony's coffee mug flew from the express to the table in front of him. It was a bit wonky but didn't spill anything.

"Whoa." Tony let a soft sound of amazement as he took a sip. "That's really cool."

"Thor had a few people teaching me the basics. Gave me some books. Pulled a string or two to get some from my home... realm, too. They're better. Cooling the coffee down, it's still easier. The entire ice magic. It comes naturally."

There was a weird mixture of emotions in that sentence. They both didn't have the natural prejudice of the Asgardians but Loki was painfully made aware by his mother attempting murder on him and Thor's tales that Jotnar weren't exactly respected on Asgard. Even if Loki was only half Jotun.

"It's real, Tony. It's all real and I don't know how to deal with it. Magic exists. Magic exists and I have it, and aliens exist, and I am one, I'm this... unnatural thing of stories and my family is a mess and on my... hone planet, or one of them, the species I share half of my genes with is consider monsters." His voice went terrifyingly quiet and Tony watched as blue suddenly spread across his skin. His eyes, red as rose petals, were no less beautiful than in the green Tony was used to. "It's still weird to look at myself that way but isn't that what I am, Tony? I'm not sure they're not right. When I look in the mirror like that. That I'm not a... Monster."

Tony stood up, and offered no words, no consolation. He hugged Loki, despite the flinch, all blue and red glory, and allowed him to cry into his shoulder.

"You're not a monster and there's no you that's more real than other, Lokes. You're mixed race, and that apparently means shapeshifter in alien, and you're green eyes and blue skin and a kind, amazing man I married because I love him the most in the world. You're not anymore unnatural for being half Jotun that we supposedly are for being bi and pan, and all you are, all I see when I look into those beautiful red eyes, sweetheart? Is that you're special. So much more special than you realize."

And Loki looked at him, eyes red and puffy from crying as the blue lips met his before they parted. And Loki's eyes watered again, but as he buried his face back in Tony's shoulders, Tony knew those were happy tears, one of relief rather than fear.

Yes, the situation they found themselves in was far from conventional. But they would deal with it, like they dealt with everything else.

Together.

[legolaslovely]

Angel’s Song

Written for @gatheringfiki ‘s Winter FRE 2020. Prompt 44: Shapeshifter

Pairing: Fili/Kili - Modern (kind of) AU 

Warnings/Ratings: Teen, sad sad sadddd

A/N: okay i shit you not i sobbed writing this. this was super duper inspired by this video of Clair De Lune, thank you @winchesterandpie for putting that one in my orbit.

Thank you so much @mysticalbarbariancreation​ for this beautiful photoset made as a prize for WinterFRE! Link here!

At first, Fili thought he was imagining it. 

He turned the old truck onto the estate and immediately swatted at the volume dial on the console, silencing his ‘rebel music,’ as his uncle would call it. It was second nature for him to run a hand through his knotted waves, choke himself with the top buttons of his shirt, and slow to a crawl as he drove through the gates near the house that was more like a mansion, that was more like a castle. He did it today, even when he knew his uncle wouldn’t be there- would never be there again. His uncle was dead.

This was his duty now- to check on the house-mansion-castle, to clean it up and decide whether to keep it or sell it or whatever else you did with this kind of thing. He’d never leave it to his mother because he didn’t like to remind her of what was left. That where it used to be five, it was only two. Their family had dwindled like rotting flowers instead of actual, real live beings. 

So as the truck defiantly growled through the sentient drive, Fili ducked his head to check all the curtains, windows and doors had remained in the state he’d left them in the week before. The rusted steed lurched and settled and he leapt out and jogged up the steps. He reached for the large stone knocker before him, like he expected someone to answer and invite him in for tea and insults. He dug in his pocket for the large, silver key. It stuck and needed a wiggle. As he stepped in and closed the door behind him, Fili thought he should have brought the tools to replace it, but then again, if he sold the house-mansion-castle, the new owners would have to change the locks anyway.

The entryway was no less stuffy than it was when his uncle was actually living in the house. A crack in one of the curtains allowed sunlight to peek through and dance with the dust that flew through the air as Fili walked through to the drawing room. His finger collected a grey petal of dust as he ran it along a table and he felt a twinge of satisfaction. In their youth, he and his brother would leave pieces of cheese in corners or windowsills, hoping it would sit and rot and smell and drive their uncle mad. They never succeeded, but now Fili felt some sense of achievement in his small inside joke.

“I’ll bring a rag next time,” he said out loud to no one but the rafters. 

That was when he heard it. It was soft and distant. He thought the familiar walls were teasing his ears. He should move about, chase the sound, find the answers to the questions filling his head, but his senses were clouded by teeming and swelling waves of peace. He should not feel calm at the idea of a stranger living in this supposedly empty house-mansion-castle, but the trills and purrs created the most serene song. It was a piano. It was safety and comfort. It was his brother.

His feet took on roots as he listened. This was the song only Kili could play- the singular tune he would play over and over until Fili begged him to stop and took him in his arms and carried him far away from the instrument. Kili would cackle and kick and tickle, sometimes he’d cry and plead, “Fi, please let me play more.” Fili would always allow it.

In their mother’s or uncle’s presence, Kili would play impressive and popular arias. He practiced daily to make his tutors proud and to win competitions and scholarships. Kili would oblige his friends and family with their favorite pieces at suppers and parties, but Fili was the only person trusted with this beloved, simple song of Kili’s.

The melody rose and Fili’s phantom boots carried him across the floor and up the stairs. Waving keys and chromatics tickled the walls and echoed through the corridor as Fili’s fingers grasped the banister as if he’d float away with the music if he let go. He passed his uncle’s library where he and his brother would hide from their tutors, the double sided bedroom they shared when they stayed for an overnight visit, the upper drawing room where they’d build a fire for their mother and take tea in the afternoons. His loud, thunking work boots were feathers that whispered across the old hardwood as he crept closer to his destination, terrified of breaking the magic this must be.

He stood in the doorway. Trembling fingers gripped the wooden frame before his knees turned to soft, dry sand. Through bleary eyes, he could just see a set of shoulders, more slender than his own but strong and thick, leaning in and out with the wave of the music. Dark hair fell over his shoulders and Fili longed to see the eyes that matched but he wouldn’t dare distract this angel from his song. What else could he be?

The piece was ending. Fili knew it and he couldn’t stop it. Long fingers peeked to the left, pressing the yellowed keys of the lower register in a slow tempo and a soft volume. Scales rolled and resolved, the last notes hung in the room like a fog until the pedal lifted. Fili had never experienced this kind of silence. He wanted it to last, needed it to last, but he just had to-

“Kili?”

Fingers left the keys and the old bench creaked as the solid figure turned. He smiled brilliantly. “Hi, Fi.”

Fili blinked a tear from his eyes and then all that remained of his brother was a bird- small and strong and dazzling as it flew out the open window and into the bright day.

[80sfinalgrl]

do All the horror asks !! 🖤🖤

ok bet 😼thank you sm!!! 💓

Jump Scare: What is a fear that you have?

oh my god i have a LOT like if i were in a horror movie i wouldn’t survive bc im terrified of dolls and clowns and spiders and like. all the shit thats in ur typical horror film and i’d be gone lmao

666: Do you have a lucky number?

nope

Bloodbath: Baths or showers?

uhhh showers!!

Found Footage: Have you ever posted a video on YouTube?

nope

Scream Queen: Are you dressing up for Halloween this year?

YES and i keep changing what i want to be but i think i got a corset and some fishnet gloves so im leaning towards like. not even a costume just dressing in an 80s tradgoth style for the night bc i won’t get weird looks lmao

Pumpkin Guts: Do you like pumpkin spice lattes?

uhhh theyre ok but the pumpkin cream cold brew at starbucks??? MUCH better imo

Grave Robber: Have you ever tried to talk to a ghost?

no no no

Claw Marks: If you could own an exotic pet, what would you choose to have?

capybara 😳idk what’s considered “exotic” necessarily but i want one so bad oh my god

Cryptid Sighting: What cryptid fascinates you the most?

mothman and the jersey devil!!!

Cult Gathering: Are you a part of any organizations?

no

Friday the 13th: Do you like to go out or stay in on Friday nights?

uhhhh it depends usually!! obviously with miss rona i cant do shit ❤️but generally before and especially when i was in school i liked going out after a long week tbh

Devil Horns: Are you an angel or a devil?

depends on my mood ❤️idk i feel like usually i’m generally pretty sweet though !!

Bloody Mary: Do you have any urban legends specific to where you’re from?

uhh i think there’s one thats been around for a long time that the hollywood sign has the ghost of a lady who jumped off and supposedly convinces hikers to do the same and shit. im sure theres more but i dont feel like googling them rn lmao thats just the one i thought of off the top of my head

Spooky Scary Skeletons: What’s your favorite dance craze?

none ?? idk i don’t take part in like. tik tok dances or anything like that bc i’d get bullied and rightfully so hdhxgdg

Vampire Bite: Have you ever had braces?

no i need them but my insurance doesnt cover it bc they’re not rlly that bad even though without them they WILL get worse ❤️i hate it here

Butcher Knife: Can you cook?

uhhhh yeah pretty decently!!

Possessed Doll: Are dolls creepy or cute?

bro i HATE dolls fuck annabelle fuck chucky fuck that bitch from goosebumps i dont fuck with any of those mfs lmao. there’s a whole section at one of my local thrift stores thats just all creepy old looking dolls and if i see something i like thats near there i just wont go over bc ill have like. an entire breakdown gdhxgd

Witches’ Brew: What would be put into a potion to summon you?

uhhh rose petals, dried lavender, pumpkin spice, clove gum, eyeliner, mangos and chai tea!!

[annleckie]

Short reviews of some Lush products

I’ve been playing with some self-care kind of stuff, and so I visited the local Lush store and was taken on a whirlwind tour of brightly colored, heavily scented Things and somehow when I looked up I had a bag full of face masks and bath bombs.

The bath bombs are the things, right? So far I’ve tried

Geode: Nice! Sparkly. I like sparkly. 

Melusine: I remember this being surprisingly pleasant, but I don’t recall much else about it. Will probably Melusine again.

Hulder: I would have loved this except for the fact that it made my bath smell strongly of laundry detergent, which was not something I enjoyed, and not something I’d suspected from sniffing it in the shop.

Sea Salt Giant Bombshell: Eh. Giant, as promised, full of sea salt, as promised, fizzled way too fast for my taste. Half the relaxation effect of these, in my opinion so far, is watching them fizz, and, well.

So White: After doing lots of brightly colored baths, I thought maybe an all-white bath bomb might be nice. Instead, I found it kind of dull. Admittedly it did smell nice. This may have suffered from comparison with the previous bath bomb, the similar but not identical....

Dragon’s Egg: Now this is how you do a white bath bomb. It’s mostly white, with little rice-paper petals of pink and orange that eventually dissolve in the water, and an orange yolk at the center filled with glitter. So it’s like, white, white, white, very restful, occasional petal, white....oooo orange! Ooo glitter! There we go. Gonna stock up on these.

The Experimenter: Speaking of bright colors. I don’t know what the experiment was but it was a success. Happy to be a test subject.

 Turtle: Jelly bomb, it said. What, I wondered, is a jelly bomb? Let’s find out, I said. Turns out, a jelly bomb slowly dissolves into colored goo that floats around the tub and sticks to everything and is really difficult to rinse off. If you wait long enough it mostly dissolves. Eventually. You still have to rinse the remainder off your skin and out of the tub. Interesting idea, not for me.

Hi Ho Silver: Look, I love glitter. I love sparkle. The copy on the website promises glitter, and this bath bomb delivers. I came out of the bath sparkling and left a trail wherever I went. Two days (and two showers) later I was still glistening faintly. A+++ would definitely sparkle again.

And, well, so long as I was doing luxurious baths, I might as well pretend I’m having a spa day and do a face mask, right? So.

1,000 Milihelens: I love it. I don’t know why. It smells nice. It makes my face fee nice. 1,000 Milihelens is 100% Ann-approved. It even has tea in it. My favorite mask so far.

Just to Clarify: Smells lovely, the exfoliant bamboo in it is nice. HOWEVER. Unlike the other masks on this list, where I can leave them on however long and just, pretend like I’m having a whole luxurious day, writing at the spa, reading at the spa, loading the dishwasher at the spa....well, don’t do that with Just to Clarify. It’s got papayin in it and your skin will tell you all about the papayin in it for the rest of the day if you leave it on much longer than five or ten minutes.

Birth of Venus: This is rapidly taking an impressive second place to 1,000 Milihelens. Smells and feels nice.

Bunny Moon: Smells pretty, was in second place until I tried Birth of Venus.

Mask of Magnanimity: Oooo minty. I like it a lot, except the ground aduki beans tend to stick to the bottom of the shower and collect in a corner instead of running down the drain.

Cup o’ Coffee: Coffee tastes terrible but it smells amazing. This mask smells like a faintly chocolatey cup of coffee. Mmmm.

Don’t Look At Me: I really really like this. It’s one of their “fresh” masks, which means you’ve got a month or so to use it and you have to keep it in the fridge. I don’t know how that would be in the winter but let me tell you, in the summer it’s been amazing to put a nice, refrigerated, zingy-smelling paste on my face. It did require some dedication to use up in the time allotted without wasting any, something to keep in mind.

FACE SCRUB

Yeah, I went back for more stuff because why the hell not.

Angels on Bare Skin: Loved the idea, hated the smell with a hate. And when you’re smearing a thing on your face, the smell is really important. I passed this on to a friend who hopefully will find it more appealing.

Let the Good Times Roll: Ah, there we go. This is the stuff.

BODY SPRAY

Rose Jam: Yeah. I just want to smell this forever. It smells so good. HOWEVER. This is supposedly a body spray, which implies you can, you know, kind of spray it around yourself. If you do this, you will leave a visible trail of Rose Jam scent in your wake for the entire day. No one near you will be able to smell anything but Rose Jam. Take my advice, just give yourself a single teeny little spritz. It will be more than enough, I promise you.

[multifandom-kpop-scenarios]

hello, hello! i absolutely love your scenarioes, rex! especially the werewolf mingyu one! i couldnt decide wether to send a request or not, but im a carat and monbebe, so could i reqeest a vampire kihyun one (hes a vamp)? if it could be sort of angsty? i really appreciate this! dont worry about how long it takes, im okay with waiting for your beautiful writing. ps could i be moncarat anon? i think ill request from you guys again. sending love ~ 💖💖💖

Hello, moncarat anon!!! I’m really glad that you enjoyed the werewolf Mingyu scenario! I know you said not to worry about it, but I am sorry for the wait. I know this one wasn’t requested for the Halloween special, but I figured that this would be a great way to start it! I used Monsta X’s ‘Someone’s Someone’ for inspiration in writing this!

Without further ado, our Halloween Special begins!!!

Admin Rex

(Word Count: 1260)

You met him in the late evening of a warm Fall day. He was holding a camera up, pointing it towards a mostly empty park. At that point in the day, the sun was almost fully set. You hadn’t really noticed him until you saw what was left of the sunlight reflecting off of his light purple hair. He didn’t seem to notice or mind your presence. You watched him for a bit as he wandered around the park, aiming his camera lense at things you wouldn’t really think to look twice at. He paused for a bit, looking through the photos he’d taken before looking around. His eyes met yours. You chose to smile and wave not waiting for a response before turning away. The sun was setting quite low, and you didn’t really want to stay out once the sun was fully down. 

The second time you meet him is in a convenience store near the park. He has his camera bag hanging off one shoulder and is browsing the selection of drinks. You notice him as you scan the snacks the little store has. You watch him for a few seconds, curiosity piqued for some reason. You turn your attention from him and continue looking for snacks to eat on your way home. You pick a few things out, turning to maybe grab a water bottle. You’re surprised to see that he hasn’t left yet and is now watching you, though it appears he’s trying to be subtle about it. You smile small and dip your head to him in greeting. He returns the gesture, eyes watching you curiously. You return your gaze, rushing to the check-out counter. While the cashier is ringing you up, you turn your eyes to the glass doors, noting how low the sun was getting. You finish pulling the change out, quickly leaving the store. You glance over your shoulder one last time, eyes meeting the man’s once again.

You had become curious about why the photographer captured what he did. The third time you encounter him, you tell yourself, you’ll talk to him. That is, if there is a third time. For a while, it seemed you wouldn’t have a chance to meet him again. The sun had begun to set sooner and sooner, now with summer fully over. You had been heading home slightly earlier than usual, as you couldn’t stay out at night. You would if it were physically possible, but it was not for you. Álfar are closely linked to the sun, and to nature, and, as an Álf, you needed as much sun and warmth as you could get. The flowers that naturally grew in your hair would wilt, as would you.  You were surprised when you walked past a few food vendors that lined the street and saw familiar strands of light purple hair. He was dressed in clothing that almost fully covered his whole body. Only the skin of his face was showing. You examined the person as you walked closer, noticing that it was indeed the person you encountered twice before. You wanted to talk to him, but you didn’t have a reason to. As you slowly walked past him, you heard a soft, “Ah, hey!” and felt a tap on your shoulder. You turn around, surprised at the turn of events.

“I was hoping to see you. You left this at the convenience store.” You looked down at his hand, surprised when you saw the book he was holding out to you. It was one of your favorites, and you were resolved to never finding your copy and having to buy a new one. You gently took the book, “Thank you. I was worried that I’d never find it.” You looked down at the cover, feeling your body beginning to shiver, “I should go.” You waited for his response, surprised when he sounded almost disappointed. You quickly left, not looking back. 

You run into him a few more times. You learned that his name is Kihyun, that he is a photographer who has held exhibits before, that he and you could never be together. To say that you’d grown fond of him would be an understatement. You’ve come to like him very much in the short times you ran into one another in the golden hour just as the sun was setting below the horizon of the city. You understood that you could never stay with him the moment you learned that he is a vampire. Of course, you’d never feel this way over someone’s species. In fact, you never really cared for it. Instead, your body physically would not be able to. Kihyun had once asked about the flowers that seemingly grew alongside you hair. You had to explain to him that it was common for your species. He seemed entranced, gently reaching out and tracing the petal of a striped carnation, I wish I could be with you. 

A few days later, when you meet again during the golden hour, he asks you, “Have you heard of álfröðull?” You peer at his face curiously and shake your head no. He smiles softly, “It means ‘elf disc.’ That’s what the sun was supposedly called by the Álfar long ago.” You could hear the sentimentality in his voice. As a vampire, he must have been around for a long time. You looked up at the sky, to where the sky was painted in warm oranges. You wished the breeze was as warm.

On the next day you meet, it’s especially cool. You bundled up, hoping to be able to meet with Kihyun again, even if for a short time. Kihyun is holding a single flower when you spot him at the park. You recognize it as a daffodil. You liked them. They reminded you of the sun. When you reach him, Kihyun smiles small, shyly handing the single bloom to you. “Someone once told me that these mean something about the sun. It reminded me of you.” Now, daffodils would remind you of Kihyun, The sun is always shining when I’m with you.

You ask Kihyun later if he knows anything of the language of flowers. “I know of some,” he responds. He smiles at you, wide and almost devious. “I’d have to say the tiger lily is my favorite.” You nod in understanding. They fit Kihyun well. He asks you for yours, “The tea rose,” I’ll always remember.

Kihyun shows you his some of his photos one day. They seem bleak, almost sad. Longing. It makes your heart ache. Until he gets to the most recent pictures. They look like colors have bloomed in them. You also note that there are flowers in quite a few of them. Kihyun shows you his favorite picture. The foreground is a cluster of yellow tulips, There is sunshine in your smile. 

Kihyun has to leave, he tells you. The cold of the wind is as biting as the cold that freezes your heart over. You look at him, “You’re leaving?” He nods, explaining that he has a touring photography exhibit in Europe. He submitted more of his recent photos, the ones he is proud of. “I’ll be back, I promise.” On that same day, he presents to you a small cluster of jonquils, I return your affections. 

  A few days later, during the golden hour of Kihyun’s last day with you - “For now,” he reminds you - he pulls you into a hug. Then, Kihyun gives you a single rose in full bloom, I love you.

[thedyingmoon]

💜 This I Promise 💜

***

XLIII. Whole

***

It seemed that it was just another ordinary day.

(F/N) chose not to go to work that day. It’s not that she’s being lazy, no. The events that occurred a week ago took a toll on her well – being. She didn’t really remember much of what happened that day except for Kenny helping her to get up, but after that, she got really sick that she couldn’t get up from her bed.

Sometimes, Erwin would visit her, bringing her flowers and reassuring her that she would get better soon. They would have long, nonsensical conversations, and over time, she learned that the man known as the former Commander of the Scouting Legion was not so straight – laced or boring, after all. He made her smile, made her laugh, and made her feel better. She was happy spending time with him.

It seemed that it was just another ordinary day.

And it was on that day that she realized that there was something missing. It’s as if there was a hole in her heart that Erwin, himself, could never fill, despite all his efforts to make her happy.

(F/N) sighed and shifted uncomfortably on her bed. It was a really warm afternoon. The curtains weren’t drawn, despite Marie’s urging to let fresh air enter her room. She was still in her night gown, refusing to get up and change into a different kind of clothing. She just didn’t feel like it.

What’s wrong with me? She asked herself for the hundredth time that day, seeing that she couldn’t do anything to lift her own spirits up.

It was then that she heard noises just outside her room. She heard someone speaking in muffled voices and she actually heard a deep voice talking in response.

Oh, it’s Erwin. He has come to visit me again,… she thought,…

… but didn’t feel any excitement, at all.

The door slowly and quietly opened, as if the visitor didn’t want to wake the occupant up. She waited patiently for Erwin to greet her,…

… when a raven – head laid steel – blue eyes on her. Not blonde hair, not blue eyes,…

… it’s him.

Levi was a bit startled upon finding out that (F/N) was awake, fully expecting her to be asleep that time of the day.

Just like Erwin, he had been visiting her frequently. Although he chose times like these when (F/N) was surely asleep, he never failed to bring her gifts such as flowers or foods. He didn’t miss a single day. He was always there for her, despite her not knowing it.

So, his eyes actually widened upon seeing her awake. And he was never prepared for this moment.

But, if Levi wasn’t prepared for this, neither was (F/N).

Upon seeing him, her heart beat escalated into alarming heights. Her eyes felt like popping out of its sockets. Her fists decided to have a mind of its own by clenching the pure white sheets of her bed. She was clearly caught off – guard.

But, despite all that, she felt happy. It wasn’t just any kind of happy.

She felt complete. Whole.

So, it was you who was missing. She thought, then smiled at him. This gesture clearly surprised Levi.

“Well, are you going to stand there all day?” she joked, her voice still a bit hoarse.

“Oh! I – “ Levi muttered, entered the room, and closed the door behind him.

He’s stuttering again. It’s so cute.

For a few moments, he just stood there, not knowing what to do in this kind of situation. His time spent with Petra in similar locations were so different that he felt like a total piece of shit in front of such an innocent girl. Well, he had been an ass, so he knew he deserved all the embarrassment he was receiving from this torture. Of this torture of being in the presence of the girl he respected so much.

Of being with this girl he had learned to love without such lust, or blemish.

And as he looked at her angelic form on that large bed, he can’t help but feel that his soul was slowly burning with all the sins that he committed against her. He felt that he was slowly being punished. He instantly felt that he didn’t belong here.

He didn’t know what to do!

But, she changed all that with another smile.

“I’m sure that my fever isn’t contagious, Mr. Shunerman.” She said in a sing – song voice. “I’ am fully aware that you would not drop dead just by coming here near me.”

“No! It’s nothing like that. I – “

Ah, there with the stuttering again,…

“Oh! It’s not the fever, isn’t it?” she joked, theatrically clutching her chest like she was in total pain. “It’s my state of uncleanliness, isn’t it? Oh! I knew it! My heart, it hurts! It burns! Ah!” she hilariously, yet successfully, mimicked a person in a dying state. The sounds she made and the way she looked made Levi smile. Again, she was showing him another side of her he was not aware of.

“You’re not unclean. I’m telling the truth.” He said to her.

“Come here.” She said to him, gesturing for him to sit at the edge of her bed. He did so, still cautious of their positions and the fact that they were alone inside a room. He’s still supposedly a engaged man, he must not do anything to raise the suspicion of others. And above all, he must not break Marie’s trust towards her. She wants him to help her get her memories back, not let Erwin win her.

But, how could he do that, when he’s fully aware that she’s just going to remember all the bad things he did to her in the past? How could he help her when he’s fully aware that they’re both happy now as they were without her memories?

How could he when things are going good between the two of them?

He knew he must do his duty,…

… but, how?

“Are you okay?” (F/N) asked him, her head tilted just a bit. “You don’t seem well.”

Levi snapped out of his reverie and looked at her, surprised that she’s actually asking him if he’s okay, when she’s the one lying in bed.

“I’m good, but how about you? I’m worried,… about you,…” he let his sentence hang like that. Clearly, he didn’t really know how to have proper conversation with women.

“Thank you so much, Mr. Shunerman. I’m okay now, now that I saw you – “

(F/N) suddenly bit her lip. It was as if the words just slipped accidentally from her mouth.

But, nonetheless, he was happy to have heard that from her.

He smiled and handed her a single – stemmed tea rose he found in Shunerman’s garden. She took it and inhaled its sweet scent, its petals softly and gently brushing against her little nose. She blushed and smiled, closing her eyes and letting the scent overcome her senses. She received a lot of bouquets from Erwin containing different kinds of lovely flowers, but there was always that single – stemmed tea rose lying solemnly on her bedside table. Receiving the same thing from Elvis made her realize it was him who had been giving her that same flower, and not Erwin.

So, he had been visiting me, after all,…

“You are so unfair!” she suddenly said to him, her little lips forming a very disappointed pout.

“W-what?!” Levi uttered, taken by surprise once more by her swaying moods.

“You have been visiting me, and you’re not even waking me up! How unfair could you get?” and now, she looked as if she was on the verge of tears.

“Be reasonable, young lady! I want you to take a good rest so you could recover quickly.” Levi rebuked, not knowing what else to say aside from the very first things that formed inside his head.

But, she only laughed at what he said to her, adding to the discomfort he was experiencing.

“That’s – that’s called flirting.” She announced, wiping a single tear from her eye. “Lady Delilah taught me that.” Slowly, she turned her eyes towards him and regarded him seriously now, the rose still in her hand. “She said it’s a necessary tool for every lady to learn for the Winter Season. Do you – do you think it’s even that necessary? Why do I even have to flirt with strangers? To get myself a rich bachelor? Don’t you think it’s weird, the way nobles interact with each other? It seemed all fake, I hate it.”

(F/N) looked down at the rose and started twirling it with her fingers.

Levi just nodded. Honestly, he loved how she was very frank and honest with the things around her.

“You don’t have to do it, if you don’t want to.” He simply said to her. “I’m sure no one would hate you for that.”

She glanced at him once more. “Really?”

“Yeah. You’re just being yourself, after all. No one would hate anyone for just being honest. I mean, look at me.”

She smiled at him. “Yeah. You’re not very gallant, are you, My Lord?”

“I’m an asshole, My Lady. A total and hopeless piece of shit.” Levi said with that very handsome, devilish smirk of his.

(F/N) laughed at this. She liked how he was being honest with her.

Yes, honesty. It was the thing that most probably drew her to him in the first place.

She hoped all guys were honest, just like him.

“Now, I see why Miss Jacqueline fell in love with you.” She told him. “Where is she?”

“Business.” He told her. Well, it was the truth.

But, that - ?

“My Lady?”

“Yes, My Lord?” she said, the title she called him was merely in jest.

“What if I told you that I’m not really engaged with anyone, would you go out with me in the Winter Season?” he said, trying to test the waters.

And she answered truthfully.

“Of course. I don’t see any reason not to. Besides, I actually prefer you than those nobles here in Sina.”

“Even Erwin?”

“Yes!”

Levi’s eyes widened in surprise. On the other hand, (F/N) felt she said something she shouldn’t have. A few seconds later upon that realization, she skin turned a bright shade of crimson. She clenched the fragile rose, almost breaking it. She quickly ducked underneath her sheets in total embarrassment.

“I shouldn’t have said that!” She whined, her voice muffled by the heavy sheets. “Oh, you must think I’m a very sinful woman now,…”

That was being sinful? Levi thought with a smile as he crept closer towards her, trying to remove her sheets away from her.

He was happy that he somehow got the answer he wanted to hear from her.

“You’re not sinful, (F/N). Look at me.”

(F/N) felt the sheets being taken away from her. Her skin crawled with the sudden loss of protection. She opened her eyes and noticed how Elvis’ face was just inches away from hers. She blushed even more at the sight, making Levi think that her fever was returning.

He held out a hand. (F/N), thinking that he was going to hit her, closed her eyes and braced herself. But, instead of pain, she felt his hand gently touching her forehead.

“You’re hot. You need to get some rest.” He whispered to her, the sound of his deep voice tickling not only her ears, but all of her sensitive nerves. He was about to leave when the girl grabbed a fistful of his clothing.

“Please! D-don’t leave me,…” she said shyly. She looked at him with pleading eyes. “Stay.”

Levi turned back to her and placed a rough, yet gentle hand on top of her head. He started ruffling her hair with a very affectionate look in those blue eyes.

“Alright, I’ll stay. But, promise me that you’ll eat something first before I leave.”

“I promise,…”

***

Petra and (F/N) waited patiently amongst the crowd. The Scouting Legion was about to leave the town.

And among them, (F/N) saw a dark – haired man on top of the darkest stallion she had ever seen. Beside him were two more people, one a teenage girl with unruly brown hair, and the other a blonde young man who seemed about the same age of the dark – haired man. The brown – haired girl looked very vivacious while the blonde man looked really calm and composed.

On the other hand, the dark – haired man seemed to look very suspicious. It’s as if he doesn’t want to be in this expedition. Or he doesn’t want to be in this place, period.

But, then, those steel – blue eyes,…

It looked as though it was hiding a lot purpose for being in this wretched place.

“Petra, look at that man.” She said to her sister, tugging at her sleeves while pointing at the said man.

"What about it?” Petra just muttered, her eyes busy scanning the Scouts in search of her favorites, Erwin Smith and Mike Zacharius.

“He looks like new a recruit. I’ve never seen him before. Petra!”

“What?!” Petra almost screamed until she finally laid eyes on the man.

Her eyes suddenly grew wide.

“Y-yeah. He is new.”

“And the other two.”

“I wonder,…” began Petra, suddenly becoming less giddy as she looked at the three unknown people, especially that man with the dark hair.

“What?” (F/N) asked.

Petra looked at her and smiled. “Oh, nothing. Just spacing a bit, is all.”

Little did she know that it would be that same man who would become her first everything; her first Captain, her first partner, her first love, her first,…

Little did she know that it would also be that same man she would betray and cheat on,…

Little did she know that she would be the cause for that man to hurt the one and only person for him,…

… the only person,…

… who truly loved him.

Not because of what he is,…

… but for who he is,…

***

~ @levi4mikasa , @yepps , @nerdyphantomlady , @shewolfofficial , @unhappysap , @super-peace-fangirl , @fangurl-ontgeside , and @emilyackerman78 . 💜

***

💜💜💜

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