#super mario critical

[franki-lew-yo]

Any hopes I had for a Super Mario Movie were dead the moment it was announced Illumination was making it, sorry.

Illumination films (and Bluesky before that) are basic and hollow in a way that's just really insulting to me. Keep in mind I do unironic art of cereal mascots. I'm not immune to corporate marketing!! Even the most obscure indie stuff has to sell.

You know how some people rate modern Disney films by the merit of the original concept art because that always looks cooler even if there's no guarantee that the story would be any good or better than the finished product? I hate that so much. Same face syndrome+boring style+so-so writing+whatever you dislike about them aside; you can't ever say the writers behind those films aren't trying (minus Wreck it Ralph 2: I aint watching That. No not even if Comfortable Doug is in it). Hate it all you want for how oversaturated it is by the higher ups, but Frozen did try.

Illumination's films feel like the entire movie is governed by suits. They feel so calculated. So held back. They never push any boundaries not because the writers don't want to, but because the filmmakers can't allow anything too 'edgy'. You can't say the same for the Sony films or for even Dreamworks' 2000s catalogue. Those movies could be trainwrecks but I kinda prefer the edge of something like Bee Movie to the nothingburger of something like Sing. Why this is so sad to me is, simply put, there are writers behind these movies. There's absolutely art and imagination. It's not like working on Illumination makes you some kind of hack.

Secret Life of Pets and Sing feel like cute, safe ideas when you look at them in concept. They wouldn't blow people away ever but they would have been something...and then they were nothing because Chris Meledandri is a hack who thinks jangling keys is the substance of a good movie because he's only ever good at selling movies, not thinking of them. Despicable Me was actually the creation of Sergio Pablos, the guy who directed Klaus. Sergio had ideas and you can really feel in the script and in the concept for everything Despicable Me 1 is. Even the gags are really inspired, I think. I remember this old video that was just "Minions but without Minions" and it was a billion times more watchable than any of the full movies because you could tell where and what comic timing and detail the writers put into their work...and it all feels so wasted on the Minions. I like Illumination's artstyle. I keep seeing other critics of their films call them the most increative, worst designers in the world and I think that's so unfair. The robber family who picks up the minions in Minions have fine, designs, Ralphthemoviemaker. You're just being a pissy pants because you don't like the style.

I've literally never cared for/about Super Mario in any capacity and never care to. Details of what the characters should be matter not if you can make anything out of it. Just seeing some people push this narrative of "you have to like this movie because it's made to make you feel good and be" (no joke, I saw someone on twitter literally preaching that) makes me actively resent this film by association. I'm sorry but no. Don't you dare. Don't you dare wag your finger at me and tell me I'm not allowed to complain about something being subpar and irritating just because it was made to 'entertain' and clearly did that for you.

Am I making entire hate blogs over this that are just an echo chamber for other butthurt fauxcritic-cry babies? Am I posting cringe compilations and laughing at unironic fans? Am I bullying kids for their hyperfixation the way I still see people do with Frozen and Teen Titans Go? If the answer is "no" - cope. I don't like your feel good movie. Get it away from me.

It feels so hyperbolic --like, MysteriousMrEnter level hyperbolic, I mean-- but Chris Miladandri doesn't care about the films he produces and neither do their directors or overseers of story. Every Illumination film and Bluesky property deserved better than what this man expected of and made out of them.

[cryptid--bunny]

Hi! Sorry for not posting art in a while! Work has me by the balls! Here's what my autism has been on for the past week, you can see the evolution of me studying bowser to yassifying him. I will not apologize.

[cremanata]

happy mario movie day! ♡

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[dragons-hoard-of-fandoms]

FNaF movie: beloved by fans but getting dunked on by critics who don't understand it

The Super Mario Bros. Movie:

[peachi-blossom]

3 heroic sacrifices that were played off as serious and not as a joke

I hate how Sir Pentious' heroic sacrifice was played off as a joke because it felt like this was Vivienne Medrano dissing at DollCreep aka Jones.

I am going to give you 3 examples of heroic sacrifices that were played off as serious and not as a joke.

Madoka Kaname: She wishes to erase all witches from the past, present, future so magical girls won't have to suffer from despair anymore and becomes a god who recreates a world without witches.

2. Prowl: He sacrifices his own life to restore the AllSpark, contains one Lugnut supreme that is about to explode, and saves Optimus Prime one last time. I couldn't find any screenshots so I made two of my own

3. Baby Luma: He launches himself into the blackhole with other Lumas to neutralize it from consuming the entire universe. After that, he is reborn. This sacrifice makes me cry every time because of the music that plays in the scene.

That's how you do heroic sacrifices Vivienne Medrano. You don't use it to diss at DC or any of your old ex-friends.

[bridoesotherjunk]

This article is so fucking right. Go Off, king.

"With the enthusiasm of an underpaid retail worker, who just realized they have to clean the bathroom." Is an incredibly accurate way to describe Taylor-Joy's line delivery as Peach.

The article goes into several examples of films that still failed, even with A list celebrities in the cast and talks about films that succeeded and why they did. Mario was going to succeed no matter WHO voiced him, but we deserved to get a performance from someone like Charles Martinet.

People deserve to watch animated movies that aren't just a glorified "which celebrity of the week is it" guessing game.

I'd recommend taking a read through it. I will say I slightly disagreed with his take on Charlie Day as Luigi, because he seemed good, but yeah a voice actor would probably have done better. He even mentions movies I loved like Rise of the Guardians and how the movie still flopped even with a stacked cast.

[pianokantzart]

If you would change anything in The Mario movie like dialouge changes, scene changes or adding new scenes or just in general improve the pacing, what would it be?🤔

I think we can all agree we needed more Luigi in the movie, and many of us are of the opinion that the loss of the "prison break" plot line hinted at in the concept art is tragic. However, as long as I'm only talking tiny changes to pad out the runtime, I think some more scenes of Luigi in the prison would've been good; chatting with King Penguin, learning more about the world, maybe even a short-lived escape attempt that highlights his resourcefulness? Just an extra sprinkling of Luigi.

I'd also add a little conversation between Mario and Toad over the course of their adventure. Toad petty much just looked at Mario and said "you're my best friend now" and Mario is like "???? Uh... okay???" and then at the end of the film they fist bump. The animation did all of the heavy lifting to show them forming any sort of bond, and while it doesn't feel too forced the end result is that we know nothing about Toad except that he's a friendly guy who's the bravest toad in his kingdom. What's his story? What's his background? Does he have any motivations beyond just a love for adventure? What's going on with that little guy?

Finally, the scene of The Mario Bros hanging out in their room after dinner could've used a bit of extra time. What we got was wonderful and sweet, but it was the only quiet moment between them before the plot kicked into high gear, and their conversation lasted literally 20 seconds. I would've like it if it was stretched out a little tiny bit longer. Just a quiet back and forth to better establish the bros mindsets, their hopes and dreams, etc. A nice moment to breathe and truly hammer home their bond before the ball got rolling.

The movie by no means needs to be dialogue heavy, and I don't mind getting to fill in the gaps where emotions/motivations aren't specifically explained, but I think a few more interactions between the characters now and then would've greatly helped the pacing.

[kogglyuffs]

silly blorbos <33

[strawberryamanita]

BBW: Big Beautiful Woman

BBM: Big Beautiful Man

BBL: Big Beautiful Luigi

[chloecherrysip]

As much as I mourn all the lines that appeared in mario movie trailers but for some reason, didn't make it to the finished product (RIP "I'm not afraid! I'd do anything for my brother!" YOU LIVE ON IN MY HEART ALWAYS AND FOREVER), I've been thinking about "I hope you told your brother how much you love him, because you're probably never gonna see him again" and the rest of that whole dialogue exchange in particular from this specific trailer and how much I wish we'd gotten that moment because I think it would have helped spotlight a vital aspect of Mario's character that the movie already does a REALLY good job with getting across in the first place: the way he communicates how he feels through action and acts of service instead of words!

(more under the cut because this got too long, haha)

Mario is usually a very quiet protagonist so this tracks with the games too, obviously, but even movie!Mario seems like someone who isn't overly verbose or who's especially eager to enter into heavy, feelings-based conversations (at least not without a struggle). Talking about his feelings might not come easy to him, and he maybe even forgets to say things outloud that to him, seem obvious. (Meanwhile, I think Luigi is always up for gushing about his favorite people (see the interrogation scene lol) and probably ends every phone call/text message exchange ever with "love you!" to Mario and his parents, to the point that he might accidentally say it to acquaintances and customers too on occasion, LOL).

So thinking about this exchange with Toad and how, even if the movie didn't acknowledge it past that point, this idea would be hanging over Mario throughout his journey hits harder because you can imagine him thinking: hey, when WAS the last time he told Luigi outright that he loved him that wasn't a distracted "yeah, me too" response to Luigi saying it first? Maybe it's been a long time. Too long. So long it's genuinely upsetting for him to realize! What if his brother doesn't actually know how much Mario loves him, because he does, he does so much, and he's been an idiot for going so long without saying the actual words and now he can't, he CAN'T and he would give anything in the world to go back and do things differently!

And of course, all this panic is totally unwarranted and even silly because I think Luigi knows like his own name how much Mario loves him. Because the audience watching this movie knows how much Mario loves his brother by that point! Mario never says the actual words - in fact, he never says anything particularly positive about Luigi, other than "you were great!" regarding the commercial in the very beginning - and yet it couldn't be any clearer!!! I think it's pretty impossible to come out of this movie (if you were paying attention in the least) not seeing that love plain as day in everything Mario does, down to the littlest things, because he is a man of action and that's how he expresses himself best!

You see it in how he shifts from mildly embarrassed to immediately Intense and Ready To Throw Down on a dime when Spike insults Luigi, you see it in how he pauses to open doors and create paths for Luigi to safely follow him through the construction site as he's parkouring, you see it when the dog becomes aggressive and Mario is just entirely focused on keeping Luigi behind him, pushing him out of harm's way, getting the dog's attention so it will attack him instead, etc. You see it in the warp pipe when his entire demeanor changes the second he realizes Luigi is in trouble, how he desperately paddles to reach him and grab his hand and comfort him about the situation. You see it in how his brother is front of mind for him at every point in his adventure and that's why he fights so hard to talk to Peach, why he agrees to the fight with DK, why he keeps trying even when things seem hopeless and no one believes he can do it. You see it written all over Mario's face during the reunion, every single little way he touches Luigi and brings him closer and checks in on him with crystal-clear relief and joy and gentleness!!! The "show, don't tell" aspect is just OFF THE CHARTS IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE because that's how Mario is. He's not so good at words and remembering to say them. When he loves someone, he wears that feeling, he lives that feeling in so much of what he chooses to do and how he interacts with the world, and while it's always good to say these things outloud now and then just to be clear everyone's on the same page (and I'm sure he does after the movie, haha), it doesn't make it any less meaningful. :)

[michelle3355]

I love Beaches 🏖 and Snow ❄️…let love lead us all❤️🌹🎆

[imagine-darksiders]

Considering when I saw it, everyone in the audience - children and adults alike - outright hollered their thunderous applause when the credits started rolling, I think it's safe to say whose opinion I value more.

[iguanastew]

The Smashsons 🍩

[askfoxythejokerfox]

proof movie critics don't matter

[rioblitzle]

i guess im not too involved in the zelda fandom cause seeing a post about rabid totk defenders is wild to me. from my perspective people were singing that game's praises for 2 months total before it fell to the "popular game bad actually" criticism wave and i don't think i've seen anyone say positive things about totk since then lmfao

[thewither129]

No hate to OP, but im just now learning a lot of people dont actually know what “bowsette” is

Bowsette isnt “bowser but girl”

Bowsette is bowser wearing the super crown, a power up that turns toadette into peachette, who is basically peach in a toadette-style outfit

As soon as the trailer dropped, people made it horny, thus sprang forth a bunch of mario enemies and bosses as a sexualized peach, lead by the infamous bowsette. This spread far and wide to other IPs and characters

Theyre all named wrong too. Its always (name)+ette. The -ette suffix comes from toadette. Not peach. I guess “peacher” or “peachser” didnt have the same ring to it.

Anyway while it was a dumb and very obviously oversexualized trend, a lot of people have completely missed the point.

Again, its not “bowser but girl.” Its bowser as peach.