#super mario bros movie critical

[franki-lew-yo]

Any hopes I had for a Super Mario Movie were dead the moment it was announced Illumination was making it, sorry.

Illumination films (and Bluesky before that) are basic and hollow in a way that's just really insulting to me. Keep in mind I do unironic art of cereal mascots. I'm not immune to corporate marketing!! Even the most obscure indie stuff has to sell.

You know how some people rate modern Disney films by the merit of the original concept art because that always looks cooler even if there's no guarantee that the story would be any good or better than the finished product? I hate that so much. Same face syndrome+boring style+so-so writing+whatever you dislike about them aside; you can't ever say the writers behind those films aren't trying (minus Wreck it Ralph 2: I aint watching That. No not even if Comfortable Doug is in it). Hate it all you want for how oversaturated it is by the higher ups, but Frozen did try.

Illumination's films feel like the entire movie is governed by suits. They feel so calculated. So held back. They never push any boundaries not because the writers don't want to, but because the filmmakers can't allow anything too 'edgy'. You can't say the same for the Sony films or for even Dreamworks' 2000s catalogue. Those movies could be trainwrecks but I kinda prefer the edge of something like Bee Movie to the nothingburger of something like Sing. Why this is so sad to me is, simply put, there are writers behind these movies. There's absolutely art and imagination. It's not like working on Illumination makes you some kind of hack.

Secret Life of Pets and Sing feel like cute, safe ideas when you look at them in concept. They wouldn't blow people away ever but they would have been something...and then they were nothing because Chris Meledandri is a hack who thinks jangling keys is the substance of a good movie because he's only ever good at selling movies, not thinking of them. Despicable Me was actually the creation of Sergio Pablos, the guy who directed Klaus. Sergio had ideas and you can really feel in the script and in the concept for everything Despicable Me 1 is. Even the gags are really inspired, I think. I remember this old video that was just "Minions but without Minions" and it was a billion times more watchable than any of the full movies because you could tell where and what comic timing and detail the writers put into their work...and it all feels so wasted on the Minions. I like Illumination's artstyle. I keep seeing other critics of their films call them the most increative, worst designers in the world and I think that's so unfair. The robber family who picks up the minions in Minions have fine, designs, Ralphthemoviemaker. You're just being a pissy pants because you don't like the style.

I've literally never cared for/about Super Mario in any capacity and never care to. Details of what the characters should be matter not if you can make anything out of it. Just seeing some people push this narrative of "you have to like this movie because it's made to make you feel good and be" (no joke, I saw someone on twitter literally preaching that) makes me actively resent this film by association. I'm sorry but no. Don't you dare. Don't you dare wag your finger at me and tell me I'm not allowed to complain about something being subpar and irritating just because it was made to 'entertain' and clearly did that for you.

Am I making entire hate blogs over this that are just an echo chamber for other butthurt fauxcritic-cry babies? Am I posting cringe compilations and laughing at unironic fans? Am I bullying kids for their hyperfixation the way I still see people do with Frozen and Teen Titans Go? If the answer is "no" - cope. I don't like your feel good movie. Get it away from me.

It feels so hyperbolic --like, MysteriousMrEnter level hyperbolic, I mean-- but Chris Miladandri doesn't care about the films he produces and neither do their directors or overseers of story. Every Illumination film and Bluesky property deserved better than what this man expected of and made out of them.

[cremanata]

happy mario movie day! ♡

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[dragons-hoard-of-fandoms]

FNaF movie: beloved by fans but getting dunked on by critics who don't understand it

The Super Mario Bros. Movie:

[bridoesotherjunk]

This article is so fucking right. Go Off, king.

"With the enthusiasm of an underpaid retail worker, who just realized they have to clean the bathroom." Is an incredibly accurate way to describe Taylor-Joy's line delivery as Peach.

The article goes into several examples of films that still failed, even with A list celebrities in the cast and talks about films that succeeded and why they did. Mario was going to succeed no matter WHO voiced him, but we deserved to get a performance from someone like Charles Martinet.

People deserve to watch animated movies that aren't just a glorified "which celebrity of the week is it" guessing game.

I'd recommend taking a read through it. I will say I slightly disagreed with his take on Charlie Day as Luigi, because he seemed good, but yeah a voice actor would probably have done better. He even mentions movies I loved like Rise of the Guardians and how the movie still flopped even with a stacked cast.

[pianokantzart]

If you would change anything in The Mario movie like dialouge changes, scene changes or adding new scenes or just in general improve the pacing, what would it be?🤔

I think we can all agree we needed more Luigi in the movie, and many of us are of the opinion that the loss of the "prison break" plot line hinted at in the concept art is tragic. However, as long as I'm only talking tiny changes to pad out the runtime, I think some more scenes of Luigi in the prison would've been good; chatting with King Penguin, learning more about the world, maybe even a short-lived escape attempt that highlights his resourcefulness? Just an extra sprinkling of Luigi.

I'd also add a little conversation between Mario and Toad over the course of their adventure. Toad petty much just looked at Mario and said "you're my best friend now" and Mario is like "???? Uh... okay???" and then at the end of the film they fist bump. The animation did all of the heavy lifting to show them forming any sort of bond, and while it doesn't feel too forced the end result is that we know nothing about Toad except that he's a friendly guy who's the bravest toad in his kingdom. What's his story? What's his background? Does he have any motivations beyond just a love for adventure? What's going on with that little guy?

Finally, the scene of The Mario Bros hanging out in their room after dinner could've used a bit of extra time. What we got was wonderful and sweet, but it was the only quiet moment between them before the plot kicked into high gear, and their conversation lasted literally 20 seconds. I would've like it if it was stretched out a little tiny bit longer. Just a quiet back and forth to better establish the bros mindsets, their hopes and dreams, etc. A nice moment to breathe and truly hammer home their bond before the ball got rolling.

The movie by no means needs to be dialogue heavy, and I don't mind getting to fill in the gaps where emotions/motivations aren't specifically explained, but I think a few more interactions between the characters now and then would've greatly helped the pacing.

[chloecherrysip]

As much as I mourn all the lines that appeared in mario movie trailers but for some reason, didn't make it to the finished product (RIP "I'm not afraid! I'd do anything for my brother!" YOU LIVE ON IN MY HEART ALWAYS AND FOREVER), I've been thinking about "I hope you told your brother how much you love him, because you're probably never gonna see him again" and the rest of that whole dialogue exchange in particular from this specific trailer and how much I wish we'd gotten that moment because I think it would have helped spotlight a vital aspect of Mario's character that the movie already does a REALLY good job with getting across in the first place: the way he communicates how he feels through action and acts of service instead of words!

(more under the cut because this got too long, haha)

Mario is usually a very quiet protagonist so this tracks with the games too, obviously, but even movie!Mario seems like someone who isn't overly verbose or who's especially eager to enter into heavy, feelings-based conversations (at least not without a struggle). Talking about his feelings might not come easy to him, and he maybe even forgets to say things outloud that to him, seem obvious. (Meanwhile, I think Luigi is always up for gushing about his favorite people (see the interrogation scene lol) and probably ends every phone call/text message exchange ever with "love you!" to Mario and his parents, to the point that he might accidentally say it to acquaintances and customers too on occasion, LOL).

So thinking about this exchange with Toad and how, even if the movie didn't acknowledge it past that point, this idea would be hanging over Mario throughout his journey hits harder because you can imagine him thinking: hey, when WAS the last time he told Luigi outright that he loved him that wasn't a distracted "yeah, me too" response to Luigi saying it first? Maybe it's been a long time. Too long. So long it's genuinely upsetting for him to realize! What if his brother doesn't actually know how much Mario loves him, because he does, he does so much, and he's been an idiot for going so long without saying the actual words and now he can't, he CAN'T and he would give anything in the world to go back and do things differently!

And of course, all this panic is totally unwarranted and even silly because I think Luigi knows like his own name how much Mario loves him. Because the audience watching this movie knows how much Mario loves his brother by that point! Mario never says the actual words - in fact, he never says anything particularly positive about Luigi, other than "you were great!" regarding the commercial in the very beginning - and yet it couldn't be any clearer!!! I think it's pretty impossible to come out of this movie (if you were paying attention in the least) not seeing that love plain as day in everything Mario does, down to the littlest things, because he is a man of action and that's how he expresses himself best!

You see it in how he shifts from mildly embarrassed to immediately Intense and Ready To Throw Down on a dime when Spike insults Luigi, you see it in how he pauses to open doors and create paths for Luigi to safely follow him through the construction site as he's parkouring, you see it when the dog becomes aggressive and Mario is just entirely focused on keeping Luigi behind him, pushing him out of harm's way, getting the dog's attention so it will attack him instead, etc. You see it in the warp pipe when his entire demeanor changes the second he realizes Luigi is in trouble, how he desperately paddles to reach him and grab his hand and comfort him about the situation. You see it in how his brother is front of mind for him at every point in his adventure and that's why he fights so hard to talk to Peach, why he agrees to the fight with DK, why he keeps trying even when things seem hopeless and no one believes he can do it. You see it written all over Mario's face during the reunion, every single little way he touches Luigi and brings him closer and checks in on him with crystal-clear relief and joy and gentleness!!! The "show, don't tell" aspect is just OFF THE CHARTS IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE because that's how Mario is. He's not so good at words and remembering to say them. When he loves someone, he wears that feeling, he lives that feeling in so much of what he chooses to do and how he interacts with the world, and while it's always good to say these things outloud now and then just to be clear everyone's on the same page (and I'm sure he does after the movie, haha), it doesn't make it any less meaningful. :)

[imagine-darksiders]

Considering when I saw it, everyone in the audience - children and adults alike - outright hollered their thunderous applause when the credits started rolling, I think it's safe to say whose opinion I value more.

[askfoxythejokerfox]

proof movie critics don't matter

[magnetic-rose]

reblog for bigger sample size pls :3

[spiderdreamer-blog]

2023 at the Movies: A Year in Review

2023 has been an odd year for American cinema in particular, between overall tepid box office outside of a few big hits and the combination of the WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes affecting release dates as well as promotional tactics. (Just so we're clear, this is a Union Solidarity Blog) But it was a fascinating year artistically nonetheless, especially on the blockbuster end. What this list aims to achieve is sort of a capsule review of the theatrical releases I saw (not counting streaming-only films even if I ended up seeing theatrical releases ON streaming) and how I felt about them in capsule review form. And even then, there's still stuff I need to catch up on like Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves, Oppenheimer, Elemental, or Transformers: Rise of the Beasts. Anyhoo, on with my list, in chronological release order:

John Wick: Chapter 4: Much like its titular hero, there are perhaps some signs that this franchise could benefit from taking a bit of a rest. Some of the worldbuilding is going from knowingly absurd to just plain absurd, and a couple early action beats, while fun (NUNCHUCKS), are a little familiar in terms of director Chad Stahelski's neon-as-fuck aesthetics. Ultimately, it's not too much to derail things, as Keanu Reeves proves a capable grounding lead like always, and the Parisian third act is giddy, comically overblown violence in the grand John Wick tradition that reaches an unexpected poignancy. The supporting cast might also be one of the best in the series; while Asia Kate Dillion's unflappable Adjudicator is missed from the last installment, we do receive Bill Skarsgard doing an OUTRAAGEOUS French accent as a smarmy villain you really want to see dead by the end of this, Donnie Yen as a clever, funny spin on the blind swordsman trope, Rina Sawayama is both badass and touching, Shamier Anderson stands out by dialing down, and my beloved Clancy Brown has some of the best implicit "are you fucking kidding me" reactions I've seen in a while.

The Super Mario Bros. Movie: I was honestly dreading this for a while. Illumination Entertainment is a perfectly cromulent animation studio who makes films that, with a couple exceptions, represent pretty much everything I dislike about American family filmmaking: loud, hyperactive, deficient of nutritional value, and did I mention loud? But the trailers started impressing me in terms of how well they adapted the candy-colored toybox Nintendo aesthetic to a wider theatrical scope. And if nothing else, casting Jack Black as Bowser would probably be pretty awesome (spoiler alert: he was). Thankfully, it manages to be an immensely entertaining, zippy adventure film that minimizes potential annoyances at nearly every turn. This is primarily thanks to a ready-to-play, enthusiastic voice cast (outside of Black, I particularly like Pratt and Day's brotherly dynamic and Anya Taylor-Joy doing a Disney Princess-esque comedy action spin on Peach), a smartly simple story structure, and leaving a lot of potential open for the future like Seth Rogen's lovable ready-for-spinoff-movies Donkey Kong. It may not rock the boat, but it was better than it had any business being, and that counts for a lot in my book.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3: The Marvel Cinematic Universe and I are admittedly on a bit of a break. Not because they're doing anything WRONG per se, just that a lot of their shows and movies haven't enticed me as much in the past year. I did get out to see this, though, which is both the best all around MCU film since Endgame and very possibly the best film of its own trilogy. James Gunn pulls out all the stops emotionally for his Marvel swan song (godspeed to you over at the still-in-progress trashfire that is Warner Bros. Discovery, good sir), crafting a beautiful, resonant journey for all the characters. The ensemble cast fires on all cylinders, for one. While Bradley Cooper is the obvious vocal standout as Rocket takes center stage, it's assuredly the role of Chris Pratt's career (other non-Mario/Marvel directors, take note! You can in fact have this guy be funny, credibly tough, AND sympathetic instead of missing out on the other two), Zoe Saldana navigates a difficult emotional dance, Pom Klementieff finds real heart in Mantis, Dave Bautista is still one of our most interesting wrestlers-turned-actors in the choices he makes, Karen Gillan has slowly become of the MCU's MVPs as Nebula, Will Poulter is endearingly dunderheaded as a comedic take on Adam Warlock, and Chukwudi Iwuji proves a truly vile villain who exemplifies the maxim of "if you really want an audience to just HATE a motherfucker, have him torture cute animals". And of course Gunn's musical tastes remain impeccable, such as a Beastie Boys needle drop that prompts a truly bitchin' fight scene (oddly the second time this specific song happened this year in a Pratt-led vehicle). It's funny, it made me ugly cry at SEVERAL points, and I got to see a psychic cosmonaut dog beat people's asses with her mind. What more could I want?

Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse: Into the Spider-Verse was a revolution and a revelation for what the American animated film industry could accomplish artistically and technically. How could a sequel possibly live up to it? Across does, against all odds, proving to be the Empire Strikes Back to the original's Star Wars in terms of going darker/more complex on the emotions and to greater visual heights (albeit with the caveat that maybe next time, we can manage the production better and not crunch people so much). Co-directors Justin K. Thompson, Kemp Powers, and Joaquim Dos Santos (who I've stanned as one of our best animation action directors from Justice League Unlimited through Voltron Legendary Defender) craft a propulsive narrative that asks big questions about who and what Spider-Man is. And while those will have to wait to be fully answered in the third installment, what it sets up is no less compelling or thrilling. Shout-outs in particular go to Hailee Steinfeld, who has to anchor this film with Gwen as much as Shameik Moore's still-iconic Miles; Daniel Pemberton for an outstanding score; Oscar Isaac for giving rich complexity to Miguel O'Hara, who could have felt like a boorish bully in lesser hands; and Jason Schwartzman for not just proving he transitions REALLY well into voicework between this and projects like Klaus, but being by turns pathetically funny and terrifying in ways I've never heard him be as the Spot. Can't wait to see where that goes next time in particular.

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny: "Pleasant surprise" comes to mind. While I never hated Kingdom of the Crystal Skull as much as most, it was definitely a little underwhelming as a possibly final Indy adventure. (Not helping is that Steven Spielberg immediately turned around and made an infinitely better indy movie in the form of The Adventures of Tintin) So I was curious to see how going to the well for seemingly the real final adventure would work this time around. Thankfully, director James Mangold proves he has a good eye for creative action, even if nothing here quite reaches the heights of the original trilogy, and Harrison Ford does some of his best acting in ages as a weary, burnt-out Indy; one always got the sense that THIS was much closer to his heart than Han Solo. Phoebe Waller-Bridge is a terrific foil to him, joyously amoral (or so she says), while Mads Mikkelsen finds a new spin on coldly cruel cinematic Nazis; he has a tense reintroduction scene that had me squirming in my seat. Add in a slam-bang ending and a touching epilogue, and I'm pretty happy with where things end up for our favorite archaeologist. A solid B+, which we could use more of nowadays.

Also they Poochie-d Shia LaBeouf, which is hilarious to me on several levels.

Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning Part One: The Mission: Impossible franchise has undergone a curious metamorphosis from where it started as one of many oldies TV adaptations in 1996 to a purposefully old-school action franchise. Director Christopher McQuarrie has become a pro at these over the last three installments, and Dead Reckoning (now no longer a part one, as the back-in-production followup will be retitled) has lots to offer both large and small for action fans even outside of the continued spectacle of Tom Cruise Possibly Wants To Die On Camera. Obviously the big stunt sequences remain a draw, like a terrific car chase through Rome or the climactic journey onboard the Orient Express because trains are ALWAYS bitchin' locations in movies. But just as good are pleasures like a tense cat-and-mouse game in an airport where nobody's quite sure whose side Hayley Atwell's thief Grace is on, Henry Czerny coming back to the franchise after 27 years and looking as shiftily patriotic as ever, Pom Klementieff on this list for the second time looking really hot as she whoops ass, and Cary Elwes getting an unexpectedly choice exposition monologue. Plus the whole deal with the A.I. villain ended up being, uh, fairly relevant.

Barbie: A brilliant human comedy from an unexpected source. This could have gone wrong in so many different ways, I can easily imagine a version that's WAY more lugubrious and, crucially, much less funny. But director/co-writer Greta Gerwig has quickly become one of our best talents between this and the wildly-different-but-has-more-in-common-than-you'd-think Little Women (I also still need to see to heard-it's-excellent Lady Bird). With an infinitely clever script (I love in particular that the "real world" is just as ridiculous in its own way as Barbieland) and Sarah Greenwood's impeccable production design, Gerwig and her cast craft a feminist fable that remains light and funny even at its most strident and angry. Margot Robbie has never been better, hilarious and gut-punching by equal measure, America Ferrera ends up as the unexpected heart of the piece, and Ryan Gosling is absolutely hysterical as Ken while still making him intensely sympathetic. He and Robbie deserve Oscar noms in particular. No, I'm not kidding. Might expand this one to a full review at some point tbh.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem: I missed this in theaters and regret it immensely, given that this is a hilarious, cheerfully irreverent take on characters who've really managed a surprising amount of relevance in the modern age. Actually having teen actors voice the Turtles makes them feel so authentic, and they're matched well by an equally game cast like Ayo Edebiri's thoroughly modern April O'Neill, Jackie Chan as a more bumbling-but-heartfelt version of Splinter than usual, and Paul Rudd going full surfer bro as Mondo Gecko. And of course the scribbled-notebook underground comics vibe of the animation is a neat bit of full circle aesthetics if you know these guys' origins.

Wish: All of you are wrong and being dumb about this movie. It's not that I can't grok some of the criticisms as being legitimate, to be fair; for example, the songs, while very good on their own IMO, don't always hit the iconic level of a Frozen or Encanto. But the vitriol with which they've been expressed, and this odd narrative that Disney is in the toilet artistically and needs to nebulously "fix" things, is something I can't at all agree with. It's gorgeously rendered, for one; yes, I would potentially like to see a return to full 2D animated films for the studio at some point too. But if they're gonna experiment even marginally with CGI, I applaud co-directors Chris Buck and Fawn Veerasunthorn making it look this painterly as a starting point. And as with a lot of modern Disney, there's real richness and inner life to these characters. Ariana DeBose is a winning heroine as Asha, who feels distinct from other "princesses" by essentially being working class and unionizing the kingdom. And Chris Pine as Magnifico is a Disney Villain for the ages, blending real complexity in his relationships with scenery-chewing madness. (Also am I the only one who got major "studio executive/CEO" vibes off him?) If this is "mid" or "bland" Disney, I really question what some of y'all are seeing that I seemingly can't.

Also I liked the 100th anniversary references, sue me. The last one in particular gets points for quiet charm rather than grandstanding.

The Boy and the Heron: Hayao Miyazaki, anime's favorite grumpy old man, comes back out of retirement for like the fifth time. Seriously, remember when Princess Mononoke was supposed to be his last film 25+ years ago? I'll believe his "last film" is truly his last when he's in the cold, cold ground. Regardless of the continuing saga of Old Man Won't Retire Because He Seemingly Can't Be Alone With His Own Thoughts, this is a brilliant, haunting spectacle of animation that might be a new favorite for me. Some have called it confusing, whereas I go for "dreamlike", possibly his most to date. Nearly every frame is suffused with longing and melancholy (though this also has some of Miyazaki's best comedy in a while), and, oddly like Wish, this feels like a true career reflection, if a bit more fraught and questioning what legacy truly means. Joe Hisaishi contributes possibly his moodiest, most dissonant score, with little of the bombast or whimsical charm that typifies his music, but it works unfathomably well. Credit also to the dub, with Robert Pattinson as funny and menacing as you've heard, but Luca Pandoval is also excellent as our stoic lead Mahito, Florence Pugh manages to be both a total badass and a funny old woman (it makes sense in context, I promise), Christian Bale puts forth a fascinating two-step with his boisterous father, Gemma Chan and Karen Fukuhara nail some complex emotional turns, Willem Dafoe nearly steals the whole thing in under two minutes, Dave Bautista makes a real meal out of a part not much bigger than that, and Mark Hamill finds resonance as a tired old man.

[keylovesstuff]

Lost and Found

Mario fandom, may I humbly offer my first contribution lol. A Peach fanfic cause I can't get my mind off this gal. A little idea that's been crawling in my brain for a while, and I finally sat myself down in front of a word doc to just write it up. So, takes place in the movie-verse until the point in the flashback where baby peach encounters the toads and just a tad bit after that.

The small blonde walked through the now abandoned town in search of just anyone at this point. Stores that were once filled with shoppers looking to purchase a variety of different things while workers assisted were now empty. The playground where she'd play and laugh with girls and boys of all ages was now filled with silence. Home, where she had awoken from a nap alone for the first time ever, was missing her mom and dad. The door was left wide open as she scrambled off the couch making a grab for her purple blanket and tying around her neck. With pink shoes now on the best way her parents showed her how to and pacifier in hand she was out the house. What started out as a fun game of hide and seek in the young child's mind, began to grow into worry as the sky went from a beautiful light blue to a bright orange.

"Mommy? Daddy? Hello" The child once again called out, peering around yet another aisle inside yet another building. The three-year old made sure that no area was left unsearched even if that meant stacking items on top of each other to reach door handles. For the tenth time in her mind, she was met with no response.

Small blue eyes began to fill up with tears as she felt her heart break in two. Sniffling, she Reached up to her cheeks to wipe away the wetness and reached inside her skirt pocket for her pacifier. It wasn't much but it did bring her some comfort as it always would. Vaguely she could hear her father telling her mother how she was getting too old for it and should have been weaned off of it ages ago. A small smile would appear on her mother's face while she cooked up a meal in the kitchen laughing as she would always promise to start the process next week only to not follow through. With another failed search in locating anyone, the girl left the store feeling exhausted mentally and physically. Little legs aching for a break after walking for what seemed like forever she finally gave in, sitting on the ground and leaning against the brick wall of the store. 

Taking the blanket from around her neck she covered her body and closed her eyes. The child's mind finally embraced the negative thoughts that started to itch at her brain after the fifth place she looked. 

No, there will be no one at the next place you go.

No matter how loud you call out, no one will answer back.

Yes you are alone and will never see anyone again.

With the last of her hope dissolving, she succumbed to sleep and let the last of her tears fall.

The cold breeze awoke her from her slumber this time, having shifted from her original sitting to lying on her side sometime in her sleep causing the blanket to slide off. Shivering slightly she wrapped the blanket as tightly around her as she could to feel warm.  Wiping the sleep from her eyes, she realized that the sky was now a dark blue and the only light came from the moon and the many of the stars in the sky.  A memory of sitting in her dads lap with her mom on his side pointing out the stars on a grassy field to them flashed before her eyes.  They began to fill up with salty water after removing her sight from the sky to look across the street when something strange caught her eye. Floating and staring was a pink pudgy starry figure that she only ever saw in the picture books her parents read to her during bedtime.  Sitting up she stared right back into the creature's black eyes as she tried to recall the name the stories gave it.

"A Duma?" She took her pacifier out and voiced aloud as its name finally came to mind. It made a sound in a language that probably no one would understand. The Luma beckoned with its entire body to follow and started off down the street. Puzzled for a moment to process things she shook her head standing up and frantically cried out "Wait, please don't go" she grabbed her blanket once again placed it around her neck and pocketed her pacifier before taking off in the direction it went.

The Luma led her to the forest that every adult, be it their families or not in the town warned every child that could walk not to enter. As it went ahead, the little girl came to a complete stop where the town ended and the forest started hesitating to cross. Sensing that she was no longer following, the Luma also came to a stop and turned to face her, repeating the beckoning gesture from before.

"Duma, I'm not supposed to go in there." She explained with a soft voice pointing a finger at the forest  that is full of unknown secrets.  "I'll get in trouble if someone sees me-"  that last word barely escaped her mouth before she promptly closed it, bringing her previous hand to cover her mouth.

The thoughts from earlier crept back into her mind, repeating the phrases she tried hard to ignore throughout the day. This time though a new thought came to her mind. What if everyone went into the forest and was just waiting for her to join them?  A new hope filled up in her chest and she looked at the Luma with a newfound determination and courage.

"Ok I'll follow you, but you gotta promise that there's anyone there" She told the creature and it responded with the same unknown sound. 

"Alright let's go then" she let out a small giggle before looking at her feet one by one as they crossed into the beginning of the forest. The girl turned to take in one final look at the empty and stared for a moment before following the Luma further in.

The two figures ventured in silence for a little while longer. The blonde child only stopped every few feet to glance around and up ahead for any sign of a familiar figure. The Luma came to a stop first and the girl bumped into its body several seconds after being distracted. 

"Hey why did we-" she started to ask but could not continue the rest of her question as she took in her new surroundings. The luma had led them to an area with a stony ground surrounded by huge pillars. What had caught her eye the most was the green object built in between the two pillars as it glowed a white light in the middle. "Wow" was the only word she could bring herself to voice.

The girl suddenly had a feeling that whatever was inside the pipe was calling to her as she started to walk forward only to be stopped by the Luma placing its body against her to keep her in place. The Luma floated lower to the ground and it took the child a few moments to figure that it must have wanted her to sit down. Sitting on the ground she crossed her legs and placed her hands in between them facing the green object. With more than decent patience for a child her age, she started squirming in place the longer they sat there the more she wanted to just get up and go into the mysterious object. From fiddling with the blanket around her body to messing with the object in her pocket to tapping her fingers against her legs, all of that could only distract her but so much from not focusing on the light. What if everyone was waiting for her on the other side and she was holding them up by waiting here? As soon as that thought entered her mind she got up and tried to make a dash as quick as her little legs could go.

All she could process was the sound of the Luma making a noise behind her and bumping into something the next moment before landing on her bottom. Rubbing her head she looked up to what had caused her to fall and what she saw took her by complete surprise left her speechless.A light blonde haired women with a bang covering one eye wearing a crown in a beautiful blue dress was levitating slightly above the ground and holding a star wand appeared in front of her with a smile. While she never knew everyone in the town, she was certain she would remember a person that could float.  The question 'who are you' was on the tip of her tongue but she couldn't bring herself to voice it aloud, It didn’t take much longer for the women above her to speak.

“Hello there little one, It’s a pleasure to meet you.” She kindly greeted the child who still stared at with a confused expression in her eyes and mouth agape in question.

 “You have gone through so much in such a short amount of time. Allow me to heal your mind.” With that said, she lowered the wand to the child's head. It began to glow as all the negative thoughts and memories left.

On one hand it felt as though nothing could hold the child back from embracing any and everything that would come her way. On the other hand it felt as though two important people disappeared and she couldn’t recall who they were or if they ever existed in the first place. The woman removed her wand when she was satisfied with her magic. The girl continued to look on with wide eyes.

“You are going to do so many amazing things and inspire so many in your future.” The woman started to say to the child who looked on with wonder filled eyes.

 “You will meet allies and foes alike. There will be many challenges you’ll have to face but you will get through them with your bravery. I have already seen it.” She assured and moved to the side to reveal the glowing green object once more.

“Go on in, They are waiting for you on the other side. Guide and Protect them. Show them what a respectable and kind leader you can be. Our paths will cross again one day” With that final promise the woman started to vanish before the girl's eyes.

When the figure faded away completely she was once again alone and had so many questions. What did all of it mean? Was everything the women said was true? Who will she meet on the other side? That last question would be answered sooner rather than later as she could finally enter the thing that was pulling her in. While she was mostly ready to take that step, there was a small part of her that was fearful of the unknown. Reaching in her pocket once more she grabbed her pacifier and put it in her mouth to feel that comfort, before taking in a small breath and stepping in. Finding herself flowing aimlessly through this portal, she took in the colors some of which she had never seen before. Despite floating in midair she felt calm and just let the current take her to its predetermined destination. Up ahead she saw another round green object similar to the one in the stoned area, The current around her started to slow down in preparation to enter the pipe again. 

The girl was finally able to stand up and walk on her own two feet the rest of the way. Clutching her hands she took in the environment around her as the exit came closer she placed her hand on the green object to hold her balance as she took a step down. Taking this time to look in front of her she noticed that these rainbowed people dressed in identical clothing and were slightly taller than herself but they had this warm and inviting presence about them that made approaching them much easier so she did. The creatures also approached her but with slightly more caution in their step following the green person who was leading the other two bent down in front of her with a smile. The woman's words of being ‘a kind person’  ringed in the back of her mind. So she did what she thought was the nicest thing and took out her cherished pacifier and stuck it in the creature's mouth who looked on in confusion. Giggling she jumped up wrapping her arms around its shoulders immediately feeling safe and secure as this person also embraced her holding her up.

“Told you that you had a way with kids” came a teasing voice from behind. “Ow what I say?” the yellow person rubbed its arm and stared offendedly at the other person that whacked him moments prior.

“Now’s not the time for jokes, you dummy this is serious.” the red one scolded the other. “Some strange person just came out of the pipe after it's been glowing all day. It could be here to kill us.” It tried to get the other to understand their point of view. “You better take that thing out of your mouth TG, it could be poisonous” he suggested to the green guy. The yellow one scoffed out a ‘really dude c’mon’ under its breath.

“Mmm” TG mouthed before shifting the child's body weight onto one side of its body removing the pacifier and sticking it back into her mouth. “Well it does just seem like an innocent baby, but better safe than sorry. Let’s head to Toadsworth. He could probably tell us what you are. Yes he can” he gave the blonde's belly a tickle drawing out that giggle from earlier. 

“No, don't make friends with it, we aren't sure of its motives yet” The red one tried again with no avail as it began to lead the way back to the others with the other two trailing behind. 

“I like the moon, it's pretty” was the first sentence the child said out loud as she pointed at the object in the sky as they all hiked back.

“Wow you do?” TG engaged with her as she nodded eagerly. “I do too, it's very pretty on nights like these” he agreed with her. Several minutes of this went on where she pointed out things she likes and he would talk with her. At one point even the yellow guy hopped into the conversation much to the annoyance of the red person.

“Hey, what are you?” she asked tapping TG’s shoulder to get his attention.

“What am I? Oh well I’m what's called a Toad. Can you say that? Toad” he mouthed it out loud to her slowly and they both repeated it several times.

“I like Toad, they're nice,” she said, nuzzling her face closer into TGs neck and wrapping her arms around him tighter. Before he could return the compliment the red toad spoke up.

“We’re here guys, let's go.” He knocked on the door three times before a brown spotted Toad with a brown mustache and red bowtie appeared in the doorway. “Something finally came out the pipe that we’ve been keeping an eye on all day. It appears to be a baby of some kind” he added as the three of them were ushered inside.

Toadsworth offered them tea as they all began to gather around the small table. The child continued clutching onto the green toad and only glanced every now and again at the mustached gentleman. The four of them conversed over tea gathering new information from the elder Toad. They first found out its gender which was revealed to them as a female and that she belonged to one of the species called humans, though with there being many galaxies and regions they could reside in, the probability in pinpointing the exact place of origin she was from would be a challenge even a guy as smart as him couldn’t figure out. They also came to the conclusion that based on how she interacted with the environment that she was on par with the toad children starting school. The red toad finally stopped giving the child a look of suspicion and after the third round of tea the host directed the conversation towards the blonde girl reaching for the kettle in the middle of the table.

“Oh how rude of me. Please accept my sincerest apologies my dear.” Toadsworth quickly got out of his seat heading over to the cabinet to grab another cup. “A gentleman must always offer a lady a drink.” He started to pour her a cup of tea before the green toad interrupted 

“I think she might be a little too young for tea or anything with caffeine for that matter, Toadsworth sir.” he said, motioning his head to the child who now had her own seat.

“You are quite right, The youth these days mustn't get used to relying on stuff like this.” Toadsworth chuckled and went over to the fridge to see what refreshments he had in there. “Oh yes I just received a carton of milk from the meadows this morning. Would you like that m’lady?” In response he got an excited round of applause from the child. 

Toadsworth offered to take care of the child for the remainder of the night and start some research in the morning for which planet she could be from and if needed within the next couple of days or weeks put together a group of toads to get this kid back home to her parents. He prepared her for bed first and then went through his nighttime routine which included grabbing a snack for bed, tonight being a fresh bowl of sliced peaches. The girl sat on the bed flipping through a picture book he gave her.

“Well my dear I’m terribly sorry for just now realizing this” He apologized, placing the bowl on the nightstand next to the bed she looked up from the book first to the food and then to him. “My fellow comrades or I failed to ask you your name. So what are you called?” he asked and she stared at him for a few moments before she opened her mouth.

“I want the Peach” she pointed to the bowl that was on the nightstand behind him causing him to reach for the bowl and present it in front of her, smiling when she reached out and grabbed a couple slices.

“Ok now back to important matters.” he cleared his throat into his fist. “What would you like us to call you for the time that you reside with us?” He tried again to get her to focus on what he was asking.

“I like Peach” She said with a smile after finishing the last bite flashing him a toothy smile and he stared at her thoughtfully for a moment.

“Alright I shall call you Lady Peach when you’re in my presence and make sure everyone calls you that as well” He told her and assumed she’d probably have a different answer to the question by tomorrow or the next couple of days.

[bestmombracket]

BEST MOM BRACKET; ROUND 1

Propaganda should be used to bring your side up, not the other side down! Please be respectful! The moms are watching 💚

[trains-of-thought]

The Super Mario Bros Movie, Constructive Critique 5

Disclaimer: I am a ridiculously passionate fan of the Super Mario franchise and am happy that the movie was so successful, and well-received by a majority of fans. I realize that many people at Nintendo and Illumination worked hard to make this film a reality, and I would never want to bash their work. However, I think it's important to acknowledge flaws and identify room for improvement, hence this, previous, and following posts.

Scene 5: Bros at Home

Strengths:

As an Italian myself, it was neat to see some culture representation. Back when my grandma was still alive this was literally my family every Sunday. The pasta dinner, wide array of family members, mom in her apron making sure everyone's eating, the boisterous conversation, the Italian-themed interior design, everything

The bros' room (and the family room) is fantastic, again, references galore. With how much stuff is in their bedroom, and the retro theme of it all, it perfectly gives off a "this is my bedroom since I was little" and an "I still live with my parents" vibe.

Shortcomings &/or unanswered questions:

In some ways I feel like the conversation between Mario and his father would have happened prior to the brothers quitting their jobs, and spending their money/making a commercial for a start-up plumbing business

I'm open to feedback and welcome productive conversation from fellow fans. I realize I’m not a perfect person and that there could be things I missed that might offer clarity on some of these points. If so, let me know (politely please).

(Note: Image property of Nintendo and Illumination Entertainment)

[robindrake93]

The thing about the Super Mario Bros movie is that the last third act could have been completely avoided if only someone told Bowser that Mario is so in love with Luigi.

[cannabisexual]

really finding it funny how critics reviewing the mario movie are almost universally criticizing it for having a paper-thin plot

like

barring a few exceptions, who has ever played a mario game for its story lmfao

[pianokantzart]

Thank God I found someone else who wasn't jazzed about Peach's voice in the movie. "Luigi, you were so brave" should have been a much sweeter line than it was but it was the flattest read in the whole movie in my opinion.

As much as I like that line in and of itself... yeah 😬

The thing is, Anya Taylor-Joy is by far the least experienced person in the main cast when it comes to voice acting. Seth Rogan, Keagan Michael Key, Jack Black, Chris Pratt, and Charlie Day have already got quite a few animated movie/tv show titles under their belt. I think the only other voice part Anya played was like... the lead lady from the Playmobil movie everyone forgot about?

Not to discredit her abilities as a film actress! But screen acting and voice acting are very different ballparks.

I just hope she is aware of this and puts some effort into doing better in future animated projects.