#sucked there. thankfully im out now
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back from the psych ward. whoooo missed me!!!
#sucked there. thankfully im out now#guys never take a whole buncha pills it is not good 4u#3/10 wouldnt do it again#literally couldve just had a repeat of last august for alla that dawg
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Pillow attack courtesy of the @tapakah0 army
I missed the battle. I passed out under the pillow. Sorry :(
(Thank you for the pillow attack though!)
#wren askbox#i am still so sick#surprised i could make even a terrible doodle#i had an awful day at work today#i got verbally assaulted by a coworker for something that isnt even my deal#i cried#i spiraled#it sucked so bad#please handle with care i cannot handle the negative emotions#thankfully my other coworkers affirmed me that they were way out of line#but now i think said coworker hates me#this wasnt even my deal i was just the messenger!#thankfully some nice peeps and cas update and tapa and sara shenanigans and pillow war helped cheer me up#but with all this sickness weighing me down i passed out tonight#im just too weak for all this#sorry i rambled on your pillow attack i really appreciate it#i hope to have the energy to get to my other asks soon
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yagami should get his back snapped in half like a toothpick if he wanna fuckin sleep on couches exclusively might as well be doin the same amount of damage
#snap chats#judgement posting real ??? <- hasnt played it yet#LISTEN MAYBE TOMORROW IDK#im thinkin to spend my morning on comms then in-between class time on judgement and then the rest of the night on comms#i may or may not be packed like a sardine... omg that reminds me of my train trip tho#the train system i was taking was kinda sketch on the lowest of keys but it was so funny transferring trains#cause the second train i had to take there was An Atom of room left and thankfully i have the body mass of a paper bag#so i just slipped in but then i was just fucking smooshed against the wall. it was hillarious#oh yeah. 'snap why are yo making this very specific post' because i didnt realize the benefits of sleeping on a bed#all summer when i was at my moms i slept on a couch in our basement since.#i refuse to sleep on the same floor as her at this point LMAO she dont make me feel safe in there#so yeah i just did That for three months and ive obvi been sleepin on a bed since going back to school#and dawg while i was over there for the weekend i only slept on a couch Again#the added benefit to sleeping on the couch is my dog is more likely to sleep near me.. hehe..#OH BUT YEAH NOW MY BACK HURT. ive never experience back pain like this before..#maybe the couch i was sleeping on sucked idk. the one i was sleeping on's cushions get pushed out real easy#my usual couch doesnt but... dog...... dog likes the other couch more lowkey....#anyways Get Yagami A Bed 2024
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i just got home and can i just-
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
#lakes thoughts#i will complain in the tags#so as if im not already congested i had so much wind in my face on the way home AND it's starting to rain so i could barely fucking breathe#and i noticed on the way home my bag strap broke which already sucked#but#then i fucking realized#i keep my bus pass on the strap on a little thing#and said little thing was Gone#so i had to go back out into the shitty weather to retrieve it#while im freaking out a bit bc i just spent $120 on my monthly pass i Can't Lose That#and I've already had to replace my card TWICE DAWG I CAN'T DO THAT AGAIN!!!!!#thankfully i found it but then i had to walk back home with the wind n stuff hitting my face directly again#and now i have to figure out what to do about my bag lol but man#ugh#i should have been home half an hour ago
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its 4 am and well, im not doomscrolling but i have thoughts lol... i should turn them off and go back to sleep
#minhmy rambles#for the record right now im completely fine like. im not gonna let this stupid orange stop me#thankfully im relatively safe in my state and im so so glad for it but y'know. you never know#but yesterday i was busy w work and also loads of other things like Being Sick so didn't have the mental fortitude to keep up w everything#and i think its helped me like. im not gonna dwell on it. i shouldn't. yeah things Suck but id rather live my life day by day and Not/#self-destruct over it. and this is just me as well. ik everyone else is freaking out and you all have a right to. i just have to keep going#like its not me trying to be callous or y'know high and mighty for feeling better over it than others i don't wanna come off like that but.#i just feel safe here in hawaii things obvs still suck like i said and things can get worse esp for us but i feel safe here ill be ok#and i worry for my friends and everyone whose lives are impacted way more strongly than me and have a lot to worry about#like it could just be me being ignorant. or whatever. but i know everything is bad i just can't let it affect me rn#me rambling as if someones gonna read this and judge me so harshly...!!!#but its just the truth. im sad for everyone but i can keep going and so should you. i have so much to live for and if the only reason you/#have now is spite then you should do it. hey maybe someone will successfully kill the guy. instead of missing. but once these 4 years/#of hell are over we won't have him again. it might be even worse then#like in terms of presidential canididates. i know this. but its okay itll be okay#and i cant ask that ppl will adopt the same attitude as me lol i know im an outlier for sure but. its gonna be okay regardless#ill be okay despite being afab poc and Also autistic (ig i shouldn't look to getting a diagnosis yet which sucks..) but i'll Be Okay#and i hope everyone else will be too; in time.
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Having Tomadachi Life with yourself and your F/Os is all fun and games until it says they don't like you/you have to watch them get hearts over someone else
Uuuhhhh I vent/rant/lose my marbles in the tags just as a heads up. Nothing HEAVY just. Very bothersome
#okay i can normally ignore the they dont like me thing. if anything i giggle a little over it and move on#i gotta be like having a rough moment for that to bug or bother me#and i PURPOSELY made an island with only boys cause most my F/Os are boys and if i only do one gender then-#-I dont have to worry about them asking anyone else out cause Nintendo is/was scare of same-gender relationships#But i wanted to unlock the park and cafe and amusement park but you only unlock those if someone confesses their feelings#so i purposely made two random default Miis and then prayed that they liked each other and hopefully ask each other out#which thankfully they both like each other so far and im still hoping. knock on wood.#but i made ONE MISTAKE and accidentally told the girl one to go be friends with Jackson IT WAS AN ACCIDENT#and i thought nothing of it because she didn't really like him but nooOOOOO FOR SOME REASON HE DECIDED TO LIKE-LIKE HER#I almost soft reset my game and I wouldve too if he didnt decide to have the heart problem for it until after i finished all my-#-daily stuff and answering other problems and things#so i just shut it down really fast. I considered just ignoring it until the problem went away nathrally but I didnt want it to come up again#ugh. Im not like. devestated or anything over it but eating my own faults SUCKS#If it was the reverse then it would be a different story but. ugh. I mean i still wouldve shut it down cause i dont need them-#-being a couple especially cause then i really wouldve lost it#I just had to get that out of my system im all good now😮💨😭
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Gencon is very busy...!!!
Ummmmm highlights of the day..!!!
I maybe bought 4 Naruto figurines. Thankfully not individually expensive (though perhaps a little expensive all together...) see I wanted Sasuke but I also wanted Kakashi and I couldn't have Sasuke without Naruto and well it would feel wrong to have the 3 of them without Sakura and so I somehow. Got all 4. Haha. I'll most likely post pics later, whenever I end up opening them. I'm still at the convention center rn lol
(Putting the rest of this under a cut bc it got a little long lol)
I was on the field of the Lucas Oil Stadium, aka the stadium that the Indianapolis Colts play at. I've attended all of One game here (not professional football, it was a high school game lol) so I've felt the size of it, but it's still fucking crazy being on the field. It's so BIG...... and obviously they've got the grass covered rn, but it's still pretty cool!!!
I maaaade dice!!! Pretty precise process it seems, & definitely would require a Lot of work (after the sanding and the painting etc etc). I do still wanna get into it, but if I wanted to spring for stuff like the vacuum chamber or the pressure pot...
Yeah, it'd get expensive. Add in the fact that I don't have a good place to do this away from the cats & it really is not feasible to start rn. But!!! Eventually!!!! I think I'd really enjoy it. I just need a dedicated workshop space where I can spread out without worrying about poisoning my cats lol.
Here's some cool game set stuff I saw in the event hall. This picture is maybe... hm... a fourth of the event hall? And then when you consider that the vender hall (connected to the event hall, though it's closed right now) is maybe 1.5 times as big as the event hall?? Give or take a little...
Aka just imagine booths upon booths upon booths... I'm gonna have to take a pic of it tomorrow. I was there too briefly to think about taking a pic. Honestly I maybe managed to get through like a tenth of the whole vender hall in an hour of wandering. It's fucking huge. And So Many Dice... I bought one set of 14 (I think it was) dice. Aka an extended set. And then I got a random set bag of dice (just a basic 7). And then a d20 with a cat on it. And a dice of LETTERS. Aka I guess a d26 (I totally did not have to double check that there were 26 letters in the alphabet)(I have 702k words written & posted to ao3)(😂😂😂 I'm very tired) but with letters instead of numbers. And it's glow in the dark!!! And I found some hxh buttons, and a mighty nein poster, and uhmmmm. A cute lanyard. And that's all I bought. Which really is such restraint for me. (Omfg I just saw a dragon cosplay)(someone just dressed as a dragon)
OH YEAH I saw a fucking. Persona 5 Ryuji cosplay. Hanging out with the biker lady from Durarara. Featuring the Ryuji holding her scythe hfksbfmd which was such a funny image. I was too shy to ask for a pic but just trust 🙏 i saw this
Anyways yeah the only real big thing I bought is the naruto figurines. I'll show pics later once I got the stuff again (I dropped it all off in the car earlier)
Omfg literally as I've been sitting here (on a bench at the side of a main hallway) someone stopped by and gave me a handmade bracelet !!!
DND's 50th anniversary!!! So cute!!!!
#speculation nation#not Too much anime stuff. tho i clearly found some stuff. no trigun yet unfortunately 😔#which i already walked thru the artist area (as much as i could)(i was getting a little stressed by how crowded it was)#so idk maybe i missed a booth or smth but it'd definitely be less likely to see elsewhere in the vender's hall#but WHO KNOWS it's a wonderful massive world in there.#im actually sitting outside it rn and staring longingly at the closed doors. tomorrow... i will be able to Actually peruse it more...#and i will quite possibly wear some ear plugs next time bcus i was getting Stressed Out!!! overstimulated!!!!#pulled in a million different directions!!!!! aaaaaaa!!!!#anyways yeah my events are all done for the night. just kinda hanging out now waiting for my sister's game to be done.#gonna collapse into bed as soon as we get back. so i should probably eat some more.#i had an overpriced and underwhelming sandwich. but there is pizza somewhere. maybe i should eat pizza.#i actually... still have the keys lol. from when i dropped the stuff off at the car earlier.#which is weird. I have the ticket to home with me. but i still wait. bc it would be a dick move to leave with them lol#and also. while i Can drive. i do not have my license. so that would be. a bad. idea.#my shoulders Huuuuurt but thankfully i dont have any combat classes tomorrow#hurting shoulders is more just from my bag bc my shoulders fucking suck. but it makes me glad i can rest more tomorrow.#oh yeah i did the sword knife and longsword today. might get bruises from that knife one. it was very focused on parrying#swords. swords. swords. swords. the longsword class made me really want to own a longsword. i dont own one. yet.#i could. i could. i could. sometime. eventually. i want a longsword. i think i technically just own uhmmm um um#a rapier? a machete? a uh. i dont know what that cheap anime convention sword is actually. OH YEA AND CANE SWORD#no longsword though. i really want to own a katana too. someday i'll own both. someday.#real swords are unfortunatelly really expensive. thats why i only have uh. uh. uhhh. oh yeah i do have those 2 swords from mountains trip#i dont really know what those are either. you know i really should know what bladed weapons i own. i dont though.#i own cool swords and knives bc oooh fun pointy things! wheeeeee!!!#i'll study up on it later. lol.#anyways i guess i should go look for more food. i have rambled enough. bye!
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i feel weird and self conscious about my art again. sigh
the entire post ended up in thw tags ohb my god
#imptxt#ill talk about it more here#i do actually really like my art overall#i love my artstyle a lot it's so fun! lineless art awesome yay ^_^#i also really like the fact that i can very easily make super experimental art without feeling. bad or something.#BUT#i started drawing later than a lot of other people i guess. i haven't drawn since i was born i started drawing on aj when i was 9/10#and i didn't ever use references when i was younger which has made me incredibly. anxious about using them now :(. doesn't help that i am-#genuinely scared of using human refs because. i feel like they're staring at me#ive been seeing a lot art by people who are the same age as me or younger recently which is. technically a lot better than me currently#like. skills wise or whatever#and the ideas ive been having in my head have also become a lot more. out of my comfort zone/abilities#which is making me feel like i have to improve but. i don't really feel like it at the same time. i just want to have fun#but. i also want my art to be more interesting and dynamic anf just. Cool i want to have cooler art.#i haven't really used any tutorials but. None of them are really just. suitable for me from what i can tell??? idk man. different artstyles#to the one i have.#it's. it sucks.#i hate it.#sigh#ive also been feeling more guilty about yhe art i post recently???#idk. it feels repetitive and i don't want that. sigh.#i also wanna draw backgrounds man i love backgrounds but they're difficult#nothing is stopping me from doing that tbh. i just. have been very focused on drawing characters and ive been lazy with them#thankfully background refs aren't difficult for me to use.#ouuuhggvgg art js a Fuck why do i do it#(it's so fun hats why)#helllk wajt i just realised the reason why this is happening is because the thing im reading has fucking banger art#You Fucker. whatever you're forgiven god your art is so goals hs.#maybe i can. hm#AART YAY!!!!
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INTERNET FINALLY BACK AFTER A MONTH WITHOUT IT
#from the clouds#ive been living off of my data for so long.... you have no idea how stressful this whole thing was.#we had to completely upend the house twice. we made over 15 appointments with 5 different specialists (many were missed due to shitty#customer service)#ive completely failed a college class because of this. lol.#this has sucked so mucj and made me so depressed and break out so bad#protip: never have a neutralizer blow out which fucks over your cable. furnace. and power. and fries everything.#we have to get a bunch of things replaced now. im jist glad i thankfully didnt lose my computer
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i want to kisse the him a lot!!!!
#jupiter.speaks#❤️.barnabas#> i keep thinkin of him just hangin out w me its so fun!!!#> like oh we're in the shops together. hes poking things. we're at the pub. hes silently judging other ppl. im wfh. hes buggin me#> i just think. he goes out of his way to hang out with me. and thats true in kos timeline. it isnt at first! but eventually hes like wait.#> barny: wait i should be hangin out w ryder rn what the fuck. this sucks. *literally just leaves*#> also i got some more fairylights today they were supposed to be a cool blue (not at all barny related 🙈) but theyre actually bright white#> it still looks good thankfully but. hrgrgrgggrrr theyre not goin on my tree now. just desk lights instead
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#looks like the earliest ill be presenting my ma thesis will be february…of next year#ive been putting sooo much work into this since literally last year#everyday ive been doing at least something like if i wasnt writing stuff i was reading books and articles#and yet i managed to finish my analyses literally last week#and i rlly hate to pile my problems onto other ppl but im certain this wouldn't have happened if my tutors didnt take their sweet time#correcting my stuff and getting back to me#thankfully the bulk of it is mostly done by now#but man 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄#im gonna have to reenroll next september and its gonna cost me something like 700€#im lucky my parents are helping me pay for this#im just frustrated is all#i need to get a job also and i think im gonna move back to my hometown bc im more tranquil here#if i do manage to snag a job in archaeology…well#idk but this masters has sucked out so much of the love i had for archaeology#like i was so determined to get into it after my degree but mannnn#idk
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do you think my characters hate me for loving them and hateing them and putting them thru it?
#i wrote this and immediately thought#its not that serious go to sleep#but i noticed i have a kinda insert in a couple of my stories and the thought came to me#im like god in those stories but i hate having me in stories so i dont name them after me but deep down i know they are me#its werid. all of my ocs are me or someone i feel like i would like#like tobi i love that dude#idk im gonna sleep#this always happens when i go outside and then am forced to part with large sums of money because life#“im gonna go on my stupid walk for my stupid health”#“sure love that. btw you have to pay this btw. give me ur money. ur not using it right? promise i wont take it all”#*takes it all*#its so fucked too because i end up spending more because im so fuck it done#“i only have 24 dollars and 37 cents for the rest of the week even tho i got paid literally yesterday...i have to make it last...”#“whatever if i die i die im just gonna spend it on lunch idc anymore”#and lunch is like. chiken tenders. because i wanted hot food. and it sucks because i cant like. ask ppl for money.#because im sure there are ppl who need it more than someone who cant budget. i think they think i make more than i actually make.#i think thats why they keep taling so much. they dont account for taxes that get taken out because. i cant count. i will not lie. but i sai#i told them i get paid an amount hourly. and i timed that by the 40 not including what gets taken out. and then i#counted how much they keep taking from me and if i dont get taxes taken i would have a whole 100 extra to my name!#idk it would be awkward and difficult if i aired my grievance to them because then we wouldn't have a place to sleep anymore. or whatever h#whatever house we're supposedly saving for.#idk i dont procces my emotions deeply and im tired of sleeping in a hotel but its our cheapest option right now.#its better than staying in that house with the lights and water cut off because it was too expensive#idk. its not bad tho. i can get to work. i can take a bath. everyones crammed in one room but theres internet. i can go on my phone#lisyen to music or something. im sure i#thankfully. i dont want for things. so im not like ordering clothes and stuff we dont have room for. i just have a bed. which is nice.#oh no it turned into a vent
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Psyching myself up for a month to dispute my PIP rejection bc my form got delayed just past the deadline in the post only to spend 5 minutes on the phone today, 3 of which were just getting through the auto menu and one more to explain the situation and be transferred to someone else, before they were just like "yeah no worries looks like our rejection letter and your health form just crossed in the post we'll take another look"
#about me#disability#im getting a headache from the stress and my hands are still trembling but relieved they were so chill about it#every time i interact with anyone renoltely connected to the dwp i feel like i need a full powerpoint presentation prepared#on Why You Should Listen and Believe I'm Disabled#but thankfully even though the system is fucked up the worst individual person ive had to interact with so far#was the guy who was very clearly just reciting his script and obviously just counting down the time before he could clock out for the day#which tbh. fair. cant blame him for that one it must be such a soul sucking job#i dont even remember the reason i had to talk to him tbh ive had to speak to so many people#anyway phew Task of the Day completed now i can chill and watch hotd
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srry for all the german stuff reblogging but needless to say im very angry with our state government and politics in general right now ✌️ having to worry about our siblings being stuck in flooding cities for 4 days straight has not been fun
#got it out of my system (haha) so im feeling better now#either that or harby or glitched sucked all the angy out of me#also technically we also had floods but thankfully we can just stay at home#and we live on a hill away from rivers and lakes so we've been fairly safe#hopefully the rain stops soon and stays away for a while#(just a reminder for anyone unaware but this is the 2nd flood disaster in a MONTH here in germany)#but yknow. climate change aint that big of a deal according to a good chunk of politicians here.#god i fucking hate it here#benrey venting moment#tw politics
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Horrible realization that if I go through with recollecting all the oni logs then I'll have to actually find out how to get "a seed is planted" like for realsies this time. Maybe I should just cheat them all in actually. <3.
#rat rambles#oni posting#a seed is planted sucks so bad its like my second favorite log and its been such a pain in the fucking ass to find#appearing then dissapearing so thourougly that I thought I might have made it up somehow making me learn to look into the god damn code to#find out if Im crazy or not only to find it along side all the story trait logs despite it being in the research notes section and Then I#open oni again to chech smth completely different and it fucking reapears out of nowhere and then the game updates and all my logs explode#this fucker has tormented me for so long and Ive seen no one else talk abt it so Im still not 100% convinced it wasnt a glitch somehow#it probably is a real log thats in the game and it disappearing is the glitch but boy do I have no way of knowing#if that is the case I can only imagine it relates to it seemingly having been intended as a story trait log#I assume it was moved to research notes because of how long it is but idk#anyways nails you motherfucker why must you have recorded one of the more lore heavy logs in the game and then made it a bitch to find#like genuinely I think its one of like 3 max logs that directly mention duplicants by name#ok ok there might be 4 I dont remember exactly#but two of those would be by jackie and one by probably nikola so nails mentioning them by name is a pretty big deal#and thats if Im remembering those logs correctly which I am likely not lol#its like 3 am ok#a seed is planted also just gives us some juicy lore relating to the actual tech we see in game#along with. that whole unnamed human subject thing. that still haunts me.#who are you subject whatever your number was and are you olivia specifically to spite me#if it wasnt for the b111-1 thing I wouldn't consider her that strong a canidate but it is a thing so she is#not only is she a strong candidate but shes like. one of like 3 real candidates we have for that#it's a weird case because it could very easily be a complete rando especially given the subject number instead of a work id being given#but also given its relation to dupes itd be weird if it wasnt someone who either worked at gravitas or otherwise got duped#which thankfully does free olivia of some possibility since as far as we know there are no olivia dupes lol#jorge and dr.holland are the other two main options in my minds eye but thats based on very little#dr.holland in particular would kind of vaguely make sense given hes mentioned in that story trait's artifact reward#but ofc given that nails does not choose to elaborate on that whole thing all I can do is blindly speculate#they also mention a name which is fun because its one of our rare complete randos in oni lore#now. he could easily be revealed to be some dupe but Im pretty sure the name was like bruce or smth so I dont consider it likely#also I am deeply curious of what this bruce guy was to nails given nails calls him 'my darling bruce'
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sorry this is so long i just figred id share this cuz it was kinda goofy. uh so this morning i randomly got the motivation to try and get mother 3 onto my 2ds cuz ive been wanting to play it for a while now that i finished earthbound and it like Took Over My Brain but i hadnt been able to access my computer for a while, and finally got the chance to this morning. uh i then proceeded to spend 6 whole fucking hours trying to figure it out . i wanted it on my 2ds cuz its a lot more convenient (+ i just prefer playing rpgs on handheld its feels a lot cozier) and also i figured i could get it running natively or whatever which is always a nice bonus. but that ended up being a horrible idea that wasted so much time cuz the stupid injector program to convert the rom over to the right file type doesnt run on mac, so i spent literally like 3 hours straight trying to find alternatives or a way to run windows stuff on mac but all the stuff i /could/ find didnt even fucking run on mac anymore becuz of that stupid update that stops 32bit stuff from working . so then i was genuinely just gonna give up but i ended up caving in and asking my friend who had hacked my 2ds for me in the first place (and is also just way smarter and understands this kinda stuff a lot better than me) for some help and we ended up trying to get the cia installed via a qr code n shit but then it didnt work so then we installed mgba on the 2ds and when trying to transfer over the rom this error message id been getting for months abt storage space came up, and like for the longest time id thought it was to do with the storage space on the computer itself becuz thats how the popup worded it but no turns out the sd card itself was the issue so then i spent like an hour copying over everything to a larger sd card i thankfully happened to have and them we were like ‘oh shit the cia mustve not installed cuz of the storage space’ and so we spent ages trying to grt that to work too and then it just turned out that installing cias remotrly only worked on new3ds. so we wasted like a shit ton of time trying to get that to work but thankfully we got mgba working and my 2ds now has like way more storage space so it worked out lmao (did have to sacrifice the better preformance but i think itll be worth it most ppl play mother3 emulated anyways from what i understand
#oh also that larger sd card was one that came w this camera ive had since like. forever#its literally as old as i am lmao#and uh i figured id switch to using the old cleared out sd card i prevsiily used for the 2ds for that now but when i put it in and turned o#the camera to test it out the whole thing froze up and . i have no idea what im gonna do abt that lmao#it just conpletrly stopped working#thankfully everything that couldve been on there has been backed up im not that stupid but.. itll suck if its just completely broken now#im not very tech savvy so idk if thats even how that stuff works but idk#inquisitivewaltz.txt#this is so long im sorry lmao
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