#such a massive cringefail loser.

[total-drama-brainrot]

All of Cody's behaviour makes sense if you realise that he’s just imitating Scott Pilgrim in the hope that he'll also find a manic pixie dream girlfriend.

[bougiebutchbitch]

"The doctor says my sperm are bad. Like, really, really bad. Like a bunch of... of fat, dead tadpoles..."

HUGHIE I LOVE YOU SO

[onstoryladders]

it's just so special to me when like a character is a massive loser and yet they get someone who falls head over heels for them. like yeah boy pull some bitches with your weak-ass game and cringefail demeanor

[twicearoundthebend]

Imagine going on a cross country trip to share the (mildly embarrassing) news with an adjacent king that your guards lost a prisoner, but when you get there- there’s actually a huge crowd of people who all get called into a massive Super Important Meeting. And the prisoner (who you thought wasn’t like That Big of a deal) gets brought up, and everyone’s talking about how great your kingdoms security is, and how important it is that he’s locked up, and you’re just sitting there sweating buckets. And you have to stand up in front of Everybody and tell them ‘actually he escaped and had been gone for months’. While everyone looks at you with the most disappointed faces you’ve ever seen. What a loser.

And Then you have to go on an even Longer trip with all of these people who’s first impression of you was some cringefail sweaty loser who can’t even keep track of one (1) guy.

No wonder Legolas was showing off every chance he got, he was trying to bring his reputation up from like -100

[yumenosakiacademy]

i hav so many (low quality.. lol) vids from a hologram v0caloid concert tht i attended once but i cant post most of them bc i, excited cringe idiot tht i was, was badly singing along 2 the songs n making noises n it's Extremely Audible bc my face was close 2 the phone camera.

[spiritually-a-blorb]

in light of me being a little silly, a little sillier, and finally reaching my silliest peak, I would like to introduce my favorite cringefail loser and give you headcannons about him

- Lester still had slightly purple veins after the possession. it was barely noticeable, but his blood, and therefore his veins, were a little darker. he just never points this out

- Lester had a little bit of a scuffle trying to get to California in the burning maze, and he literally never told anyone. just as a little silly. this is why he wanted maple lemon cronuts. he got in a fight at some random bakery (beacuse he wanted to get food for everyone) and he managed to snag food for everyone but himself

- Apollo visits Sweet on America, the place Sally used to work, and he'll get different candies his kids like, or he thinks they'll like. he is surprisingly successful at this, and now he keeps candy on his person at all times, like a grandma does

- Lester's complaints about memory loss were valid, for one. but the second thing? just for a lil spice, I think trying to access those memories hurts him just a little, enough for the brain to try and block those memories out. that's why his memory is super faulty. his brain is literally working against him

- Lester is checked over by Meg after every fight they have after The Big Stab™️, and she feels extra guilty when she finds out how tarquin was turning him into a zombie

- Lester was separated from Meg in a crowd once, while they were getting to the Tower of Nero. he flipped his ever-loving shit and proceeded to yell her name so loud he broke a window. Meg never got separated from him again

- Meg will do this thing where she will mispronounce words on purpose beacuse she knows that it annoys Lester. Lester eventually uses those mispronounciations in multiple haikus, and presents them to Meg in a written and stage performance. Meg has never been so annoyed and so touched in her life once she remembers that those were her mispronounciations. she then demands financial compensation for her words being used in said haikus

- Apollo (post ToA) does actually help herophile start some game shows. he gets her a nice setup and everything, and she soon becomes well known for her successful shows, both on normal channels and Hephestus TV.

- Meg eventually goes out and sees the ToA books on some bookstore shelves, and buys the entire series. she gets a lot of secondhand embarrassment due to Lester sometimes, but she enjoys re-living some good memories with her dummy. plus she likes hearing what the Arrow of Dodona actually had to say.

- Conversely, Apollo literally shrivels up in a ball when he finds out that Meg read the entire book series. he just lays there with his hands over his face while his kids swarm Meg to get her to show them the books. Apollo does not want to live through that, but he stays as they read the entire story. they all end up in a massive cuddle pile by the end

- Eventually, Artemis meets Meg. she kinda likes her by the end, but is somewhat jealous of the sibling relationship she has with Apollo. Apollo just likes seeing his two sisters get along. Meg, however, is a little conflicted as well. This is her annoying dummy, and someone else telling Apollo that, even in jest, grates on her a little (unless he deserved it. then she adds on)

- Apollo really likes fries. The big reason is they are cheap, and he would get a meal with the money they had at some gas station or fast food place, and give Meg the meal and just eat (and share) the fries. He did this right up to The Burning Maze, but only beacuse Aloe Vera kinda snitched on him to Grover. Aloe Vera only found out when she saw him climbing back down into the maze to eat the strawberries.

- Meg was super upset when she found out about the fry thing. Apollo insisted he was fine, and that he didn't need as much food as her, since she was still growing. She was a little more mad when she realizes she had been growing food that was meant to help in combat, and Apollo had to double back to get some, or he went hungry.

[seawattgaming]

you remind me of a magical girl but if she was actually just a massive cringefail loser instead of the usual stuff

...I'm sorry?

[northstarscowboyhat]

Tada!

Tiny fun fact, they are whistling the beginning of Justice. Anyways, your comment about how they can be easily flustered if they can't do something great right away (mood) made me think that they were trying to do the gun twirl trick for Dess to try and impress her (it will likely fail miserably, but won't matter anyway)

Anyways, I just love to make animations loop, and this is no exception because it is funny to see them regain their composure only to immediately lose it again and start blushing like crazy (I probably should have made the blush more vibrant, huh? Oh well, you can see it affecting their scar so at least you can know when they are blushing)

THE WAY I GASPED IN PURE DELIGHT SEEING THIS IN MY INBOX!

I'll admit I don't know like, anything about reading music notes so I was like 'Hm, I wonder what that tune is?" and when I read it was Justice, it put a massive smile on my face that is genius! Very fun little detail. I also love how they're rubbing their arm with their hand trying to act casual, like I'm amazed you captured a lot of emotion in a sprite pose! That's legitimately so cool and I will never stop praising your sprite animations for it! So cool that you could shape the mouth to look like they're whistling and the way their poncho unfolds as their arm moves back to their side. Always amazed at how much motion you can capture with such little pixels!

And of course, the hilarious full face blush HAHA oh that is definitely how they react when they see Dess or fumble a cool trick. I love how their eyes get huge and their ponytail bushes up like a cat tail! This is so cute and silly and so perfectly in character for Clover hehe. We love one cringefail loser.

Thank you so much for this! I am always eager for more content of Clover being just so silly and delightfully awkward and easy to fluster so this is making me so happy haha. Beautiful work as always!

[dickpuncher420]

“ it's just so special to me when like a character is a massive loser and yet they get someone who falls head over heels for them. like yeah boy pull some bitches with your weak-ass game and cringefail demeanor” That’s your Mako

AHAHAHA UR SO RIGHT!! broke as fuck, shitty attitude, no rizz, and yet he has 2 of the hottest women in republic city falling for him. HOW does he do it

[justlarkin]

We still don't have any fail-wifes all we get are girlboss for the females, we have so many male-wifes

I know y'all were advocating for Benten being a fail-wife, but she carries herself confidently enough to not be a massive loser. She just cyberbullies minors and that is based.

I'll call Hekate a fail-wife because she ships real people and writes fanfics about them without their consent. I want a REAL cringefail girlie though. Actually, I want multiple of them. Someone absolutely pathetic. They should just go ahead and make Amaterasu a massive loser for me.

[iriily]

I love that in every single ship I have there's the babygirliest, neverdoneanythingwrong, adorable character, and there's the other cringefail loser(affectionate), massive L, zero bitches character

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

THE YVES JUMPSCARE IN UR MONTGOMERY POST...... 😭😭 its so funny to think about those two existing in the same universe, their partners sharing similar circumstances (weirdo boyfriends that literally never leave their side) without even knowing😞💔 also not just the similarities in their yans but the differences perhaps making them wonder if the grass is greener on the other side, montgomery's partner wishing for someone like yves and vice versa (if yves hasn't already brainwashed them into never having those thoughts in the first place ofc)

anyway hope ur having an alright day/afternoon/evening teehee

The dichotomy of men... either u become cunty boyboss slaymaster Yves or u become gagged cringefail floppy broke Montgomery...

Perhaps, depends on what you like, if you liked kicked loser puppies then Montgomery is your best choice, but if you prefer more comfortable living, youd be better off choosing Yves

I personally prefer Yves by a LOT because mans a machine who is super logical and can handle shit, even tho he has his own identity he does mold himself into someone u like to the best of his abilities- just the only form he cannot take is that of Montgomery because he thinks our sad wet meow meow is too pathetic for anyone to emulate

another massive difference between yves and our boy Montgomery here is that, Yves can fit into the country and farming lifestyle, but Monty CAN'T fit into the city life. Like Yves is not afraid to get dirty and u would've thought he grew up in a farm by the way he herd pigs sheep n chickens, how he has no disgust whatsoever on his face when he plunged his arm all the way up to the shoulder, into a cow's asshole to check up on the pregnancy, he isn't squeamish at all , he might even seem like the world's best farmer, either for animals or plants

whereas our first cringefail doesnt even know how to budget or know how to kiss the boss's ass </3

[star-bear-art]

Pretty cringefails are my FAVOURITE kind of dude so I had to draw @thedomesticanthropologist's wonderful Sivvus. The bit about him thinking he could manifest the directions to nettie walking in the wrong direction just cause he wanted it bad enough? Fucking hilarious little guy, he's such a loser I LOVE him

..and now I have no excuse not to return to my massive pile of wips!! more of the regularly scheduled bloodweave content will exist soon, I swear

[you-didnt]

Dragon Age The Veilguard thoughts!!

I wrote almost 2k words and I have honestly no clue who the audience is here but if someone asks me “Did you like The Veilguard?” I can just pull this up.

This is all from the perspective of someone whose favourite game was DA2 and who didn’t love DAI.

Massive spoiler for basically everything ahead

It wouldn’t be Dragon Age if it didn’t kinda suck and I have so many gripes with this game. This being said… I loved it. I have to think it over some more because ofc there’s a lot of recency bias right now, but I think I can say for sure that it had some of my favourite parts in all Dragon Age games.

What I loved:

The overall arc of the game. It felt very coherent and also: Things happened. I replayed Inquisition some months ago and was shocked at how few main quests the game actually has. It also helps that almost all companion quests somehow tie into the main story.

The antagonists were scary!! I was genuinely scared of them and could feel their looming threat (quite literally in Weisshaupt) throughout the entire game. They really learned from whatever happened with Corypheus.

I vastly prefer those smaller types of maps to the huge ones filled with nothing in Inquisition. I wouldn’t change a thing about them.

The companions ohmygod the companions. I loved the DAO crew, absolutely adored DA2 and felt pretty indifferent about most of the Inquisition companions. These guys are DA2 level for me. It’s the found family, alright. That’s why I had a physical reaction when, in my playthrough, Davrin died – I really, really didn’t expect it. I actually yelled and started violently sobbing when Assan flew after him. When Solas said “Did you really expect to make it through this without casualties?” I was like, well, yeah??? I was also so afraid of Neve being dead, too and the way this gutted me shows what a great job the game did at making me feel attached to the characters. Manfred, too – the way I played my Rook they would have probably said “yeah man go for litchdom” to Emmerich but I, the player, couldn’t.

Speaking of the ending: I said before that I think it’s one of the best things Bioware has done. The final quest felt very Mass Effect 3 and I love the ending of ME3 so much (minus the last 10 minutes that we’re gonna ignore) so this was a huge win for me personally.

Rook!!! I don’t mind that they’re somewhat of an established character, because that’s what I also loved about Shepard in Mass Effect. It’s so funny to me that they’re a bit of a cringefail loser and I’d like to think Varric saw them and thought “This kid reminds me of Hawke”, which is why he recruited them.

The CC and hair physics. Can you believe we got a Dragon Age game with GOOD HAIR???

The art direction of the game. Past me who made fun of it looks so stupid right now because everything and everyone is beautiful.

I know the bar is on the floor, but: I played this game start to finish with no major glitches (I clipped through the floor once and my Playstation crashed during the final credits). This SHOULD be normal for an AAA game, but unfortunately it’s not, so I have to give credits where they’re due.

The lore drops. Some require some suspension of disbelief but all in all, the way everything is connected, feels very satisfying. I do feel sorry for everyone who’s annoyed by the “it’s all elves” lore because once again, it’s all elves.

Solas and his dynamic with Rook. Also the way he completely broke down sobbing at the end (Gareth David-Lloyd the man you are). I’ve never done a Solavellan playthrough because I don’t find him compelling in a romantic way but goddamn do I love him as a character apart from that.

They haven’t forgotten about The Forgotten Ones!!! (no pun intended) I was stoked to hear about them and even SEE them and I would love to know even more about them!!!

Isseya. I very recently read the last flight and at some point in the game I started suspecting and when it was actually revealed… very satisfying.

What I feel meh about:

The music. It’s good, no doubt, but it didn’t leave much of an impression. Listened to it on Spotify and I am a fool I take it back.

The combat. At first I enjoyed it but then I got to bigger bosses and as a mage it was just absolutely frustrating. I was Dark Souls-rolling around the place because every single enemy decided to ignore my companions and attack only me so there were 3 mages firing at me from the distance and some big guy jumping me every 0.5 seconds while my companions were chipping away health at snails pace. I was so annoyed I changed the settings of two sliders in the custom difficulty setting – and then I went to Weisshaupt and beat Razikale in 5 minutes lmao. Maybe the new patch changed it, I can’t say, but in my next playthrough I am so going to be a warrior.

The pacing is a bit all over the place. As many people have said before, the game takes forever to take off.

Unfortunately, the writing. Everyone in Thedas seems to be super chill because you just drop that the elven gods are here and they are evil and everyone is like “alright”. The only one who has a valid reaction to it is the First Warden and I punched him in the face for it. I played and elf Rook who at some point said to Solas “Just because I have the same ear-shape as the gods doesn’t mean I’ll fall to my knees in front of them” and Solas replied “Yeah that’s luckily true for most elves” and I was like… really??? REALLY??? I don’t know, I’m not religious myself but if I was and my literal god showed up and said “I can make all your dreams come true if you worship and join me” … idk man. I think I would be sold.

The game really suffers from how pretty much every decision from Dragon Age 1-3 was disregarded. I can imagine this sparked a few discussions at Bioware HQ because it is a bold choice that did not pay off at all. I know why it was necessary and why you can’t include every single choice and option but come on man, more than 3 choices who all have to do with Solas wouldn’t have been too much to ask. You could pretty much feel the strain they went through to avoid saying certain things as not to establish anything from the past games as canon and it didn’t do the writing any favours.  

The romances are really lacking. I watched a few on Youtube and they're all so... bland. And short. I romanced Taash and it started with them pressing Rook against a wall and I was like !!! and then..... nothing really happened? Every time they wanted to talk to me I was like "kith? Kith please?" and I got one somewhere in a dragon den but after that...... nothing.

I personally don’t mind the wiping of the world state in all of southern Ferelden by saying “yeah the Blight killed everything” that much, also because it’s been 10 years since Inquisition, 20ish (I think?) since Origins and I expected things to have changed drastically in this timespan anyway, but I can also see why it’s frustrating.

I also really get it when people say “this game feels like it was written with HR in the room”.  What bothers me even more though is how much hand-holding there is. When Morrigan explained the Mythal fragment and then started to read the Oxford definition of fragment to me I was like oh my godddd.

Speaking of definitions: It breaks my heart to say it, but a lot about Taash’s story made me cringe – and I say this as someone who is on a “gender journey” and romanced Taash. I saw someone on Reddit talk about it and what they said really resonated with me: It feels like Trick Weekes wanted their Dorian moment too and overshot the mark. I think it’s admirable that they included it, especially considering this is what caused the most backlash from the “anti-woke” mob and they must have been aware of that. The coming out story itself was mostly well done and made me tear up once or twice, but the codex entries with, once again, what looked like dictionary entries of the queer bible? Maevaris saying “You are valid”? Including “trans women are women!”? Not even gonna mention the insufferable Isabela scene. It’s like someone went through a checklist and it unfortunately made the non-binary representation they were going for feel like tokenism.

Some plot holes I can’t ignore/questions I have:

Varric. There was a point in the game where I thought “is this some kind of sixth sense bullshit” and I dismissed it because I thought “nah that’s too stupid”. While I do have to say the emotional impact of Varric saying “I think you already know” at the end fucking hit me like a truck, the plot twist didn’t make any sense if you consider how beloved Varric was by everyone. You’re really telling me there was no funeral for him? The inquisitor didn’t care to mention it at all? Isabela??? They were all just like “Yeah Varric died and Rook keeps talking to him but we’re just not gonna mention it” Were Neve and Harding holding all the others at gunpoint like? “Hey if Rook starts talking to Varric… play along.”

Where are the Qunari? I don’t mean the Antaam, I mean the literal Qunari. Inquisition ended with them being close to invading Tevinter, they actually invade Tevinter in the comics and now we just have a bunch of deserters and the Qunari are also pretty chill with it?

The Lighthouse/Fade. Throughout all of Inquisition people keep mentioning how no one has ever physically entered the Fade since the magisters and how it’s such a feat that the Inquisitor did it twice and now we’re all just… chilling here, bringing friends over, and no one mentions how remarkable that is?

I played a Crow and cringed at the found family-fication of them. So was everything Zevran said about them a lie or are we gonna act like all the evil shit they do is actually cool?

Maybe I just didn’t get it, but I don’t think Isseyas motivation made any sense. I thought her corruption and being driven insane from her guilt was extremely cool, but wasn’t it the guilt of blighting griffons that made her that way? If so, why would she think blighting them again would be their salvation?

We saw a Titan from the outside and I think it looked extremely cool, I took several screenshots of it. But did no one ever notice that some mountains look weirdly humanoid shaped? It had a face and hands and everything and sure, if you see that once you think “that’s a fun coincidence” but assuming they were all over Thedas, no one gave this a second thought?

So. Where does this leave me? If I had to rate the game from 1-10… I honestly couldn’t say, and fortunately I don’t have to. It felt like Dragon Age and when I say this I mean the good, the bad and the ugly. I don’t want to outweigh the pros and the cons, I don’t want to have an entire objective opinion because the way I feel about it will always be subjective. There are so many things that bother me, but in the end the game made me laugh, cry, fall in love with the characters and it showed me a new side of this world I love I didn’t know yet. This ultimately leaves me no choice but to say: I genuinely loved the game and I’m grateful I’ve got to experience it.

[beloved-boat-boys-blog]

HOOOHHH THIS PLACE IS WHERE I WILL SCREAM IN.

idk why i always like to picture etho as a chill frat boy and joel as a cringefail loserboy with his two british (brothers? sidekicks? wingmen) yet etho falling head over heels for joel and joel being all panicky and oblivious. love that. it feels accurate

YEAH WOOHOO WELCOME WELCOME!!! >:D

okay but you're absolutely right?? cringefail loserboy Joel beloved <3 I imagine he's the angry chihuahua kind of cringefail tho, an absolute idiot that pretends he's cool, bites at anyone that dares to call him short and all. who's also completely oblivious to how much Etho's in love with him and panics when Etho even looks at him. yes I love that actually, they're such idiots <3

also love that jimmy and grian (i assume) are his sidekicks/wingmen when theyre also massive losers /aff

— Astro

[jimmytimmyjames]

jimmy('s youtube persona) is just everything i've been searching - far and wide - for in a blorbo... he's goofy and sweet and not that great at minecraft, but he tries, and everybody teases and bullies him but they absolutely adore him and he's their baby boy, and he's the epitome of cringefail and a massive loser but so entertaining and refreshing for those exact reasons. i saw someone refer to his "noob aesthetic" being a breath of fresh air amid crazy builds and i agree soooo much... the insane builds and pvp plays etc. that people do are mind-blowing, but also kind of overwhelming in many ways. it's so cute when jimmy is just there building wooden shacks and being self-deprecating but also his own biggest hype man even though everyone mocks him, and dying first in all four seasons of an smp, and drowning in two blocks of water, and just. he's such a good boy. he's the good boy. a golden retriever of a man. if i could only shield from all the world's horrors and at the same time bully him a bit bc he's too adorable when people tease him. cute aggression to the max i need to grab him by his strings and make him dance and poke him and then wrap him up in a little hand-knitted blanket and murder anyone who mocks him in a genuinely mean way