#stupid. like dont get me wrong i think people questioning and knowing more about their gender is good

[databent]

me whining about unimportant stuff under the cut as per usual

really cool of this one cisgender person i went to high school with and never fucking talk to to come to me a while back asking for Gender Advice because she was questioning if she was trans or not and im the only trans person she knows and then ultimately to immediately quit talking to me the second she decided she was still cis and not even like tell me or anything. like ok so you just wanted to use me for my transgenderism? im just a free transgender advice machine to you that you dont even have to pretend to treat like a friend once im no longer of use to you????? cool cool awesome. i literally only found out she came to the conclusion she wasnt trans because she told her cis dude friend instead of me and he just happened to mention this in passing because he knew id talked to her about gender stuff. even though i spent hours and hours being as open with her about my experiences and as supportive and helpful as i could. its so hard to feel like any of the people i know irl actually value me as a friend when they ALWAYS give up on even trying to talk to me the second i stop having something they can fucking use me for

[dream-sans-mogai]

Im so fucking tired of allistic people man...

They always present like 2 choices for you and go on for days about how they understand either choice, they won't judge you no matter what you pick and how they'll be fine regardless then act all disappointed and whiney when you make that choice and they didn't get the answer they wanted.

I'm sorry, how was I supposed to know that was the wrong choice™️. If you wanted me to do something why didn't you say it. I don't care about all your little social shit, be honest with me. I didn't choose based on your wants when I don't know what you want. I made the "selfish" choice despite everyone around me saying they supported my decision and totally understood. Then I'm the bad guy. For making a choice. That I was assured over and over again that I wasn't going to be judged for.... I'm so tired of this... I'm so tired of allistic people setting these fucking landmines for me. Like they enjoy my suffering. I always get fucking burned in these situations. I can either just do what I think they want with varying response or I can be honest and unmask and do what I think is best for me then they all collectively sigh and look away like Im the disappointment...

If it's not truly safe, don't fucking tell me I'm safe. If I truely won't be judged, don't judge me. If I can't safely unmask, don't tell me to be myself and make my own choices. Even allistic people who had no fucking skin in this game judged me. I chose the option that was best for me and now I'm the villain. Again. Fuck allistic people man, fuck those wishy-washy judgey ass people.

[thecherrygod]

im starting to think that i genuinely have a hard time connecting with people bc i cant have a conversation without either fully understanding what the other person says, or, mainly, being missunderstood

[inez-winchester-cameron]

omg pls write more of what you just posted of rafe with that age gap it's sooo hot 😭 like something about the reader being bratty on purpose and sassing him

cw: dark!rafe x younger!reader, 29 and 19, non-con/rape, drug use, intoxicated reader, talks of free use and public sex, abusive relationship

note: is this too dark, yes or no

rafe HATES when you disobey at parties. ever since you two have started dating, you have a bad habit of misbehaving at parties to get more attention from rafe. whether that be overdrinking, snorting coke, smoking weed, or flirting with other guys. all of these being things that you KNOW rafe disapproves of.

tonight, it happened to be a mix of all of them. you went to the restroom and came back to rafe talking with one of his ex girlfriends, sofia. you completely being oblivious to the fact that he was telling her off. you huff and head back into the room where topper and kelce sit.

they're doing lines and drinking, sitting on opposite sides of a loveseat.

"hey, y/n, have a seat," topper politely greets you, gesturing to an empty chair beside the loveseat but you smile and sit inbetween topper and kelce. they give eachother a look but say nothing.

"whatcha guys doin?" you ask, looking over toppers shoulder as he sets up a line.

"coke, nothing you should concern yourself with."

"yeah rafe would kill us if he knew you were anywhere near this," kelce comments.

"hes too busy bein up sofia's pussy to care. can i do a line?"

kelce and topper both look at you at this comment, a little shocked. they knew rafe and how loyal he was to you, he never even so much as entertained another girl.

"you saw him up her pussy?" kelce asks, confused.

"well no but- it doesnt even matter, just let me do a line."

"sweetheart i dont think-" topper starts.

"pleaseeeeee?" you beg, giving him puppy eyes.

topper sighs and glances to kelce who shrugs. eventually topper responds, "okay fine, sweetie, but you cannot tell rafe."

"i won't, promise! ill even pinky promise if you want!"

topper stares at you for a moment, finding your innocence both endearing and hot at the same time. too bad you aren't his. topper sets up a line for you and gently guides you onto your knees in front of the table. he gives you the dollar bill and guides you as you snort it. you let it sit for a minute, not feeling anything, then it hits. and you want more.

"again!" you say, looking at topper, feeling your brain begin to buzz.

"yeah no i don't-"

"what the fuck are you doing?"

your eyes shoot to the doorway. rafe stands there, arms crossed, hair messy, blood on his knuckles, and he looks pissed.

"rafey!" you greet him, trying to pretend you didn't just snort cocaine. you stand up, swaying, and subsequently falling back onto the couch.

"what the fuck guys?" rafe questions, walking over to you. he looks pissed, "how much did you give her?"

"just a line, man, she asked for it. quite literally," kelce speaks first and topper agrees.

"i didn't know you don't let her do that man, im sorry-" topper defends himself and rafe shakes his head, calming down a bit.

"nah you're good, man. it's her fault. come on, princess, we have some business to discuss." rafe says through gritted teeth, roughly grabbing your arm and heading to his room. once you're upstairs and away from people, he starts scolding you, "what the fuck were you thinking? you know so much better than that."

"you were talking to Sof-"

"yeah i was telling her to go suck a fucking dick. then i beat the shit out of her boyfriend for calling you a whore. but maybe he was right, you don't think about anyone but yourself, huh? always just assuming. saw the way you were staring at top." rafe speaks with no sympathy and you two slip into his bedroom. he presses you down onto the bed, holding your hands behind your back as he flips your little skirt up, "no panties? you fucking serious? god what is wrong with you? you stupid little whore."

you hear his belt unbuckle and your head continues buzzing from your high. soon enough, you feel his cock, pushing into you. it's immediately too much.

"rafe-! no no no-"

"don't tell me fucking no, bitch. act like a whore, get treated like one. maybe i should've just fucked you downstairs," rafe starts, setting a fast pace with his thrusts, not hearing any of your protests, "or maybe i should tie you up down there, let all these drunk men use your holes since you wanna disobey. i think that's a fair punishment, huh? i try to be nice and defend your honor and you make eyes at two of my best friends. fucking bitch."

"rafe i didn't- i don't want this- stop!" you beg but rafe doesn't care. he simply tugs your hair in response as you start crying. your head is pounding and it's all too much.

"that's it, cry for it, bitch. this is my fucking pussy and i'm gonna use it when i want. now whine one more time and i'm gonna make this pussy free use to the entire island."

you whimper and stay quiet in response. you think about leaving rafe, but you can't, you love him and maybe you even secretly loved being fucked against your will.

[bohemianblasphemy]

First, let me just say that your writing gives me LIFE 😭 If you are still taking prompts/headcanons, I just can’t help thinking about But her and afab virgin reader 😭

Like, she is in her twenties and the fact that she’s never had sex makes her feel so insecure. It somehow comes up in a joking manner while the Boys are hanging out, and she is SO embarrassed. But Butcher just fucking freezes and it makes him feel like a creepy old man but by god he is turned on 😮‍💨

He can’t stop thinking about being her first and if it actually happens or just stays in his pervy mind is up to you 🤭

oh my gosh you are so sweet thank you!!! i have had a fun time writing this, so i hope you enjoy, i may do a follow up if people want more of this 👀✨

a bottle of whiskey, the Boys and Never Have I Ever. what could possibly go wrong?

it’s 10pm at the Boys HQ, the tables and chairs are push out and all are gathered around a bottle of cheap whiskey and everyone is feeling… relaxed, as much as they really can despite what is happening around them.

“okay okay what about we play… Never Have I Ever?” Annie giggles, earning groans from Hughie and MM. “Annie, i have not played that shit since high school.” MM complains, earning a laugh from the group. “oh come on M, it’d be fun! everytime someone has done something, we take a drink. it’ll be fine, just have a bit of a laugh…” you laugh, looking around the circle. your eyes follow around the circle from Frenchie and Kimiko smiling at each other and around to butcher, who is surprisingly quiet.

“okay i will start… never have i ever been caught having sex.” Hughie states boldly, grinning over at the sour expressions of those who have been caught before, except for you. “ y/n belle you have not?” frenchie questions, capturing the attention of those around you, especially butcher.

it has been something that has been surrounding you for your whole life. sex hadnt been something that has happened to you yet - being in your 20s you saw it as something that was embarrassing despite there being nothing to be ashamed of, but you wanted it and you exactly who you wanted it with.

Butcher. he had consumed so many of your thoughts, you’ve caught yourself staring at him so many times in the office- imagining those big strong hands on you, touching every inch of your body, kissing down your neck and chest to your most sensitive areas…

“i-I haven’t… not yet, but hey let’s got next round!” you laughed nervously, keeping your head down. butchers eyes don’t leave your body, the cogs in his mind turning as his thoughts are consumed with you.

a few more questions went around the circle before it was butchers turn. “this is a stupid game why do i hav’ta do it?” he groans, a bit tipsy from the drinking. “cmon man don’t be a sour puss just fucking ask a question.” Hughie exclaims, earning a giggle from both you and Annie. butcher rolls his eyes and utters “never have i ever NOT had sex” grinning as everyone moans “that is a silly question butcher… of course we all have.” frenchie the swigs of whiskey go all around and stops in front of you, but you dont take it.

the room is quiet, all eyes on you and your face goes red with embarrassment. “y/n you’re a vir-“ Annie questions and you admit “yep i am, i know- what a shocker!” you say sarcastically and put your head in your hands, not wanting to meet the faces of everyone around you. “ oh mon amour, we need to get someone to… help you with that” Frenchie says, earning a light punch in the shoulder by kimiko.

Butcher says nothing, his eyes boring into you, drinking in the sight of your reddened cheeks. he has always had an attraction to you and found himself turned on at the thought of taking you - imagining you coating his cock with your soaking cunt and becoming undone on him for the first time. his thoughts were interrupted by you standing up saying you had to leave and rushing out of the office.

“cmon Frenchie you embarrassed her! why’d you say that?” MM questioned, Frenchie replied “maybe so then butcher can finally make a move on her instead of eye fucking her from across the room.”

[saturngas]

Hello! I hope you are well 🩷

E It may sound cliché or a bit stupid, but I'm genuinely curious about the fandom's opinion on Gojo's ideal type. The few things I found are a little shallow and nothing very elaborate, or from a few years ago when we didn't have so much Gojo in the manga. SO WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS? 🥺

gojo’s ideal type

helloooo thank you so much for this ask. I love this kind of asks because they make me think hard hhaha

but anyways I really think gojo wouldn't have like an exact idea of an ideal type regarding personality and appearance, the only thing he would focus on/prefer is that his s/o understands him.

so we are hinted multiple times throughout the whole story that gojo feels alone, especially after geto's departure, and that the main reason is his unreachable strength. he is the strongest sorcerer. he doesn't really look for a super strong partner, but I would definitely think he prefers someone strong or with a cool technique.

some people affirm that gojo values people measuring their strength, and I kind of agree with it, but to say he only see the strength of people is wrong, I would say that he looks for people with potential (like he has stated before with megumi) and definitely people with a strong mindset.

so I really dont wanna make this a gojo's character analysis hahah sorry so ill answer your question directly, just wanted to make that clear before stating my beliefs.

I think gojo would settle for someone who thinks like him, regarding the jujutsu world. he wants to change it, so he wants people who think like him to be next to him.

if that person, like I said before, has a strong mindset and unbreakable personality, I think that would be a huge plus. I feel like gojo likes dense people, someone who doesn't really changes their opinion like super fast, someone in control of their beliefs.

now regarding a bit of personality, I think gojo would get along with almost all personalities. he is very smart and honestly very kind at heart, so he would look for positive traits in every personality. buuuut if I had to be a bit more specific, I think he would like a bit more a woman with a demanding personality. like not exactly someone who is dominant over him, but kind of. hahah he likes seeing someone trying to boss him around considering he is the strongest and can do anything he wants, so meeting someone with such guts makes him wanna know more about that person.

a kind person would also be a plus. well, not exactly super kind, but someone who helps others. lets remember he is a teacher after all, so he would look for someone who cares for others, especially the younger generation. I think he would prefer someone with a similar profession as his. it doesn't have to be an educator just like him, but like I said before, someone who cares for the youth.

a bit of an unpopular opinion hehe but I simply cant see gojo with someone who doesn't have a similar humor as his. like we always see people getting annoyed at gojo for being such an idiot, so I really think his partner needs to-has to be just as silly and goofball as he is. like someone who supports his jokes and antics. I cant see him with someone super serious or someone who is plainly boring.

I think the perfect match for gojo is someone with the same energetic and passionate energy as him. he would love someone who is also clingy or physical as him, I feel like he loves giving and receiving physical affection. that doesn't mean he doesn't appreciate the other love languages, but I think he loves receiving touches, words of affirmation, and service acts.

so in summary, I think gojo's ideal type would be someone who agrees with him/has the same purpose as him regarding the corrupted jujutsu sorcery, someone who is fraternal and supportive of the youth, someone who can match his silly and quirky personality, someone with a corresponding humor as his, someone physically and emotionally strong, someone passionate and intense about their own dreams and goals, someone who understands his position as the strongest and is there next to him anytime he needs reassurance, someone who can read him easily since he isn't overly open, and someone who would love him and demonstrate love just as him or even more (he would love that).

I definitely think he is a tits guy.

taglist: @snwvie @fanficsforkicks @soulaires <3 so guys right now im out of town so I won't be making super long and specific content for a few days. but once I get back to home ill be working on parts 2 of some fics :))

[kissesfordaryl]

Hey there ^_^ This idea has been eating away my brain for a good while now and you're the only male writer I know, UGH I LOVE YOU

May I please have your headcanons on how Daryl would be like with a metalhead bf who's really intimidating and looks like he came straight outta hell but is actually super sensitive and sweet? Such as first impressions, how Daryl feels about his kindness, etc.

Thank you!! Xx

daryl & his metalhead.

note: honestly had to do a lil research beforehand bc i dont wanna do any metalheads wrong😭 AND HOPEFULLY I DIDNT!! 😕 lmk (n ilyt)

daryl sees you and automatically assumes youre the quiet type- a lone wolf even. you dressed in dark colors and occasionally band tees(which he had no clue of), towered over almost everyone, wore your dark hair long, and didnt warm up to many people. he doesnt go out of his way to talk to you, until youve come up to him.

"y'wanna go on a run with me?" hes staring up at you in disbelief, turning his head left and right in search of backup. youve practically cornered him on the streets of alexandria, big pleading eyes staring at him.

"yeah!" youre nodding a bit too enthusiastically for his liking, "its just... im looking for some parts. my guitars broken, so. but i wont be in the way, i promise!"

he scoffs, and doesnt believe you for a second. but the next morning, hes taken you and one car.

he realizes that every assumption hes made about you is 100% wrong. hes always categorized you as emo in his head, but you were quick to inform him the differences between being emo and being a metalhead. hes quiet for most of the ride, but surprisingly asks you a few questions here and there. his second assumption is that you were quiet. jesus, you could talk his ear off. but in a good way he thinks.

the run is unsuccessful, but daryl gifts you a little pin with a guitar on it. youre enveloping him in a hug, and hes reluctant to return it.

back at home, he pays more attention to you. he gets defensive whenever someone makes a judgmental remark about you, claiming that you're different than what everyone thinks. carol teases him about it: "didnt realize you knew him so well." and yeah. maybe he did. maybe he wanted to. "so what?"

he finds himself coming around to your house more often, letting you teach him how to make dinner and listen to you play(he found your missing part on a run with rick). he enjoys it more than he thought he would, and you joke around and say hes halfway to being a metalhead like you.

"youve already got the hair down." hes sat down at the couch, and youre coming around to sit next to him, a hand reaching out to feel his hair. "we're basically twins."

he huffs, turning away to hide his blush. "it aint like that. just grew out over time."

"well good. i like it."

hes grown attached to you, always spending his free time with you. that also means hes grown protective of you. he constantly lectures you on how you shouldnt just let people say whatever they wanted about you- and that if you wouldnt step up, he will.

you take in a stray cat, and daryl practically has a heart attack seeing how gentle you are with it, pampering it and laying it against daryls chest.

he lets you do stupid shit to him all the time, like dress him up in your clothes or do some light makeup on him. to show your appreciation, you gave him a kiss on the cheek. he freaks the fuck out and has to get carols advice.

your first kiss is all thanks to your lighter: its just you two outside the walls, and hes forgotten his own. youre leaning in close, the fire right underneath the cigarette. your hand is quick to steal it from his mouth, fingers brushing against his mouth. before you can blow the smoke out, hes on his tippy toes and leaning in. the way the smoke blows into his own mouth is the hottest thing youve ever seen.

hopefully didnt butcher this🤞🤞 btw this is such a cute idea im in love

[hotch33tos22]

Over thinkerShoto todoroki x reader

☁️Fluff

You’re in your room studying for exams listening to music when you hear the doorbell ring. You wonder who it could be, as you walk downstairs and open the door to find your boyfriend Shoto standing with an umbrella in the cold rain. He looks like he's been crying for his eyes are red and puffy and he keeps sniffling, ”Shoto! W-whats wrong?!” You practically yell bringing him inside “ are you o-okay!!?” You panic..He shakes his head not saying a word as you pull him inside, shutting the door behind him and he sets down his umbrella. He continues to sniffle and whimper softly as he stands there dripping water all over the floor….

“Oh shoto…”.. “I’ll be right back” .. you go into your room and grab a towel and a pair of your biggest clothes for him, returning towards him you hand him the clothes and towel “ change when you come out we can talk or if you stay like that you’ll get sick..”, “Okay…” He nods and replies as he grabs the towel and the clothes you give to him. He goes into the bathroom nearby and changes out of his completely soaked clothes that stick to his skin showing his complexion and into your dry ones. He was drowning in your hoodie but the pants seemed to fit him well, they were just a little short. He walks out of the bathroom looking a lot better than he did before but still looking upset.

“What wrong sho?..” you question him, “come on let’s sit on the sofa..” you tell him worryingly.. He nods once again doing as you say and sitting down on the sofa. He looks down at his lap for a few minutes as he wipes away the last of his tears and before finally speaking “…Can I ask you something?” He questions, “Anything sho!” You hold onto his hand, “You promise you won’t be mad?” -He looks at your hand holding his and grips it, squeezing your hand feeling its warmth.

He lets out a shaky sigh and grips your hand tighter while looking down “You don’t…have romantic feelings for anyone else besides me right?..”, “W-what?!” “What makes you think that?!” You exclaim shockingly, tightening your grip on his hand He lets out a shaky sigh and bites the inside of his cheek, “…There’s this boy in my class, he’s…well he’s pretty or whatever.. and I heard a few people in my class say that you two talk sometimes. I’m just overthinking it…I’m sorry..” you look at him with a confused look and ask “what do you mean? Sho the only pretty boy in class i have my eyes on is you..” you smile at him , He looks up you and gives you a shaky smile. He feels stupid now for even bringing it up and thinking such things “I didn’t mean to upset you I just…I got scared..I love you a lot and I’d be destroyed if you left me…I know I’m stupid for thinking things so easily it’s just…” he sighs..

“Oh sho.. I’d never leave you babe..” you look at him sadly, it pains your heart knowing he thinks this way… does he think you’d leave him for a “pretty boy” everyone finds attractive hell no that’s for sure.

His heart flutters slightly at your words, he lets out a shaky sigh and grips your hand tighter “Really?..You promise you won’t leave me for the pretty boy from your class?..” you scuffed “sho your the only pretty boy in my class… I don’t know any other boy that you could be talking about..” you giggle at his words, He looks away, realizing how stupid he sounds. He lets out a huff and puts his head in his free hand embarrassed “ I feel like a dumbass now..”

You laugh “ Dont say that babe… you’re the only person I’d ever lay my eyes on your my pretty boy…” you smile looking deep into his eyes, “Honestly sho don’t overthink it pains me knowing you think that way..” you kiss his soft lips .. licking your lips in hunger for more kisses.

He lets out another shaky and relieved sigh as you press your lips to his. His free hand rests on your waist and pulls you to sit on his lap. He breaks the kiss for a moment and buries his head into your neck, nuzzling it against your skin

“I’m really sorry for thinking such things…I love you so much…”.. “You should be knuckle head..” you state while playing with his semi wet hair. shivering as you touch his hair a bit wet from the rain. He gives a slight laugh at you calling him a knucklehead, knowing that he kinda deserves it and then nuzzles his head further into your neck as he speaks “I know, I’m sorry again…it’s just the people in my class keep talking about it…about how you and that boy are always talking and stuff…”.

“It’s just school work plus I didn’t want to tell you this but..” you slowly get closer to his ear and whisper “I show you off to him” you smile and you giggle in his ear. He listens to every word carefully and his cheeks turn a light pink. He takes a moment to process what you said, slightly confused at first “Huh? What do you mean you ‘show me off to him’?”, realizing what you had said but not was too late it had to be said “Oh nothing I just ramble about you a lot telling him how much of a good boyfriend you are sometimes I even get off topic on the project we do …” He can’t help but smile a bit, picturing you rambling about him to the boy as you work on projects together. He lifts his head up from your neck and looks up at you, “You really do that?” He questions “I do..”..” it’s kinda embarrassing now that I say it..” you cover your face He smiles gently at how embarrassed you are admitting it.

He gives you a satisfied smile seeing your beautiful face and moves one hand to cup your cheek. “You’re cuter than you give yourself credit for. You know that right?” You blush bright red “S-Sho!!”.. “Don’t say that” you bury yourself in his neck, He laughs at your actions and lets you bury yourself into his neck to hide your embarrassment. He brings his other hand up and runs his fingers through your hair as he smiles and speaks “Why not? I’m just saying the truth…”

You start kissing his neck softly bitting and licking into certain spots.. “Mhh.. I guess..” you breath heavily You immediately tell he’s enjoying the soft kisses on his neck, even letting out a small and shaky breath when you start biting into some special spots. He takes a moment to speak and when he does his voice is shaky and slightly strained… “Keep doing that and I’m…I’m not responsible for what happens next…”

You start kissing his neck softly bitting and licking into certain spots.. “Mhh.. if you say so..”

You continue on to leave him hickeys moving onto his lips.. He immediately melts into you as your lips move from his neck to his lips. He lets out a small hum of pleasure at the feeling as well as from the hickeys you leave. He closes his eyes and slides his tongue out a bit, gently licking over your lips as if asking for entrance into your mouth,You slowly let him inside your mouth moaning from his flavors mouth inside you… He lets out a noise of satisfaction as he slips his tongue into your mouth, immediately exploring every inch of it as he takes the lead of the kiss. The hand holding your waist suddenly grips onto you tighter as his tongue moves against yours, desperate to taste more of you.

You moan as you deeply kiss him passionately describe for his touch, He continues to dominate the kiss, holding you pressed against him as his other hand moves your hair back and out of your face so he can see you. He lets out another shaky breath as he devours your mouth, wanting this moment to last forever. He breaks the kiss for a moment, only to whisper the words, “I love you so much… ” in a soft and shaky voice before delving back in for another deep kiss…

(if you liked my work feel free to check out the rest on my page and follow <3!! Or click the #hotcheetos22 )

[psychhound]

i ran a combat this weekend that went really well and one of my npcs got beat to shit but also got to revivify a pc and it was just really chewy and cinematic and not that she isnt always on my mind but shes been on my mind a lot more this week BUT

ive been reflecting a lot on her year in the game so far, and the reasons i made her gender conforming but visibly trans when i introduced her, versus how thats evolved with her relationships to the pcs and other npcs now

and i dont know. it makes me really emotional. i think theres no right way to do trans representation but there are certainly some wrong ways. i think making her the first binary trans woman introduced and also pretty clockable would rub a lot of people the wrong way. shes tall, shes buff, she has a deeper voice, she doesnt cover her adams apple. and as a trans man who passes pretty damn easily it means so much to me that she Doesnt and shes so like ... adored? and cherished?

she was introduced as a roadblock for the party and got adopted very quickly, soon becoming a staple of the game. my players are obsessed with her and adore her and talk about her all the time. anytime she does anything theyre like okay but shes our babygirl and we love her forever and also can we marry her. shes an autistic trans lesbian wolfgirl, and her being trans is a lore point because shes the angel of the female wolf god. shes dopey, shes awkward, shes a little stupid, shes very caring, she makes the puppy eyes emoji face just at all times

and shes not visibly gay but is visibly trans. shes not punk. she doesnt have a shaved head or tattoos. overall shes pretty cottagecore and has middle school girl handwriting. she really loves baking and sewing is her most "fun" hobby. shes very gender conforming and also its pretty easy to tell shes trans and everyone just. loves her? two pcs are very parental towards her, we're leaning towards a romance with another pc. despite being a big strong knight, when shes scared, she gets comforted and consoled. she got hurt during the fight and cried about it and got hugged

i dont know. this is a very long rambly post but. living in a very conservative bible belt state, i feel a lot of acceptance as a man and i feel its very very conditional on the average person not knowing im trans. my friends are great and my cohort is largely great and my professors have been supportive. dating has been,, mixed. but then i do wonder how review bombed i would get if my students knew. i wonder how much of how well people treat me is dependent on me appearing to be something im not

and florence cant hide that shes trans!! and people love her!! they think shes wonderful and loveable and hot and adoptable and also complicated when conflict happens. theres no reveal theres no coming out its just like. yep heres florence shes trans shes dorky and sweet and cute. because of the magic of this world, some people may have Questions of how she transitioned, but its not like ... her identity ever gets questioned. you know? its not hidden and also not a problem. its just florence. and shes been such a good character for me to play because of that

okay post over go support your local trans doggirl

[incorrectmahabharatquotes]

i love the incorrect quotes, but i dont agree with your political views. if its not much, could you explain why ur so anti bjp?(thats what i assume anyway)

You know, I actually think that the memes and the quotes are sort of a natural extension of our political views. I'll explain but it might get a little long. Stay with me here.

Firstly, I want to say that I think this way of perceiving politics is so fundamentally wrong.

"Anti-BJP", "Pro-BJP", "Anti-Congress", "pro-congress" etc etc. This isn't a cricket match where you're rooting for your favourite team. Politicians, as a general rule, are a bunch of liars. They lie to gain power and control. It's OUR duty, as CITIZENS, to keep them accountable and in their lane so they actually do their goddamn jobs. That's how the democracy is supposed to work. If they don't do their job properly, you vote them out of the seat. They work for us, and not the other way around.

In India, we grow up with this idea of not questioning your elders. Papa ne keh diya, bas keh diya. As children our natural instinct of curiosity and inquisitiveness is stifled. We go to schools and the same pattern follows. Don't question the authority. Keep your head down and colour inside the lines. We internalise this lesson to colossal degrees. Is it any wonder that we all struggle with critical thinking? If you're spoonfed "the correct answer" your entire life, you never learn to find if what you were told is correct or not. This exact thing is used by all politicians across the entire political spectrum. They use our learned behaviour of deferring to authority and never questioning power against us. The leader of the country becomes the patriarch. Papa ne keh diya, bas keh diya.

I have various issues with various political parties in India, in fact. I have no love lost for any of them. I don't exactly believe in unconditional loyalty to politicians.

Since you brought up the BJP, let's talk about that. My biggest issue with them is their politics of communal hatred. All they keep yapping about is hindu-muslim this and hindu-muslim that. For what? They could spend their time talking about actual issues but the low-hanging fruit of stoking communal hatred is easier to grab onto. Remember when the British did the same thing? It was bad then and it's bad now. All this unrest just to get votes. Imagine fucking up the mind of an entire nation like this and then demanding to be praised for it.

Their foundational roots are from the RSS and that entire organisation's existence is just insane to me. It's even more insane that they managed to go from a fringe ideology to becoming mainstream. "Hindu rashtra", it seems. Who even wants that? WHY do they want that? Is it such a bad fate to live in peace and harmony with other religions? A lot of their talking points are about how much they hate the islamic nations and how those are horrible and then they want to turn around and do the same thing?!? Is the hypocrisy not clear? So what if other countries are religious states? Why can't we try to be different? Maybe I'M the stupid one for thinking all humans are the same that we should treat everyone the same. Who knows.

There are also a bunch of other issues that the BJP has racked up during their rule. The demonetisation disaster, mismanagement of government funds to create public infrastructure, letting the interests of billionaire business ruin PROTECTED FOREST AREAS for mining coal that they didn't even need, introducing and passing HORRIBLE bills through the parliament without any thought or discussion, literally ignoring the plight of people dying in riots, CORRUPTION, destroying the public sector and letting for-profit capitalists free reign in a country which has practically no proper labour laws, aiding in creating a historical record of INCOME INEQUALITY that is higher than it was during the fucking colonial era, fucking up the press even more somehow to the point where they control all of the media houses.

This is not even scratching the surface. I could keep going.

My issue is not whether people vote for the BJP or not. Even if you like the BJP, my issue is that people seem willing to turn a blind eye to all the issues with the government and not even hold them accountable for it.

Vote for whoever you want. My only request is to keep your government accountable. Keep the power in check. The politicians should be SCARED of the citizens fury if they do something wrong. They shouldn't be free to do whatever and get off scot free.

That's our political stance, really. It's Pro-Exercise-Your-Democratic-Rights-As-Citizen.

We will always encourage others to be wary of people with too much power.

Now coming back to why I said the memes reflect our political stance, it's because it's obvious to see why we happen to be willing to risk being a little critical of a literary text. You have to be a little transgressive, in a sense. Perfect obedience and perfect reverence stifles people from engaging with something to their full potential.

I'm sorry to say that if you enjoy the memes and the quotes, you are also being a little transgressive like us. You're also questioning the authority of a religion to an extent. Perhaps our political leanings aren't as different as you might believe.

-Mod S

[blackberrybuds]

mini essay about tsutsujio tamemichi & the use of dr. kan's hands as a metaphor for rape

ive been thinking a lot about tsu and kan recently so i wanted to dump some thoughts lol. cw for things involved with their stories like medical trauma and sexual assault and such

i think tsu is a masterclass in writing a metaphorical rape scene. i know that he genuinely faced sexual assault by kan, but i wanna focus on the idea that his heart surgery was a metaphorical rape in and of itself.

for background, during tsu's first year working at KFTI, he got in an altercation with dr. kan that lead to dr. kan beating him so badly he broke four bones, including his pelvis and almost every bone in his arm. we're told that he needed a lot of recovery time, and that during this recovery time, dr. kan pulled him for an experiment that involved performing open heart surgery on him.

we're told that the anaesthesia used was localized and not general, meaning he was awake for the surgery. we're told it was for the expressed purpose of seeing how he would mentally cope with the experience of being awake for something like that. that's the background we're going with. we then see how that affects tsutsujio and how he describes it.

tsu has chronic arrhythmia and heart palpitations. when he gets worked up, his body starts shutting down, which makes him panic and makes the entire thing worse. every day hes having these little spirals where he thinks hes gonna die. this is why he refuses to leave the office and head to OMS - he's afraid that if he does, he'll have an episode that requires kan's intervention, and kan won't be there to save him.

we also see him describe the process in a very specific way: the use of kan's hands.

[416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] Actually no im pretty sure nobody here understands me at all because I keep getting stupid fucking advice and critique from people who havent had his hands in their open fucking chest

he says that nobody can understand how he feels because they haven't had kan's hands in their chest. kan's hands are inside his body. his wording here is very important, because it's going to come up again in this thread, and then again further in the future. for now, let's focus on how it comes up in this thread.

[416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] I feel like his hands are on my shoulders all the time [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] I feel like no matter what I do or where i go his hands are always on my shoulders [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] I feel like if i look down im just going to have handprints all over me [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] I dont know why he makes me feel like that [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] I cant leave because his hands are always on my shoulders and i cant ever be comfortable because his hands are always on my shoulders and nobody cares or questions it because oh its not that big of a deal its just his hands on my shoulders [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] my body feels wrong how the hell am i supposed to just live like that forever i dont want to [434334633/ Dr. Suga] You feel violated. [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] Right like i do but like fucking why should i [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] God this is so stupid why do i always sound so stupid [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] I just dont want his fucking hands in my body he fucking hurt me

he describes kan as always having his hands on his shoulders. he describes this as a feeling that's incredibly distressing, and says that nobody questions it because it seems so innocuous - just a hand on his shoulders. suga points out that he feels violated, and tsu agrees, but can't explain why. he then describes the feeling in a much more visceral way - "I just dont want his fucking hands in my body".

the language tsu uses alludes to much more than surgery. this isnt how people describe surgery in a normal context. the idea of someone putting their hands inside of your body holds connotations that feel much more intimate than medical. the descriptions of being covered in handprints corroborate this - he's not talking about medical feelings. he's talking about feelings of having his body violated, feelings that are intimately tied to the idea of sexual assault. this is further emphasized by the presence of his conversation partner - suga.

suga is the absolute picture of sexual violation within staffside. the way suga is described is the picture perfect image of purity. he was young and naive and eager to help. he was almost ethereally beautiful. he was pretty and weak and vulnerable. he was a virgin. the interesting framing device in tetro is that we don't learn any of this until after we've known him for some time. when we're introduced to suga, he's sick and vomiting and exhausted and on the brink of death. we meet him as his story is nearing its climax. only a short while after meeting him, he's put under anaesthesia and raped by dr. kan. this became one of our first central plot points of staffside.

suga's entire arc is about the trauma of sexual assault and how it eventually kills him, for all intents and purposes. we follow him as he's completely devoured by his trauma and his feelings of utter violation. pairing him with tsu in this scene is meant to show the connection between the two. staffside is drawing a comparison between suga's experience and tsu's experience. you're meant to associate them. they both feel horribly violated.

and then we find out that tsutsujio was molested during a medical exam.

it would be easy to take this information and write off the metaphorical rape that was tsu's surgery. it would be easy to dismiss it as no longer important or relevant now that we know tsu was genuinely molested and not just metaphorically assaulted. however, if anything, i think tsu's recount of being molested actually serves to greatly strengthen the connections between his surgery and the idea of rape. let's look again at how he describes the assault.

[416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] Again seriously its not that serious its not like what happened to Suga [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] Stuff with his hands I guess [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] Which again is stupid because obviously the Suga thing is worse so please dont get hung up on this like seriously

another mention of kan's hands. he describes his molestation as something that took place with kan's hands.

[416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] And it was just one time and it was just with hands like it not like that

his hands again. tsu's focus often comes back to kan's hands. it's the only way he describes his molestation in any capacity. we don't get any details beyond the fact that it was done with kan's hands. kan's hands themselves in this case are portrayed as a weapon of assault. the hands that molested him are the hands he claims to be constantly all over his body and on his shoulders and inside his chest. the connections drawn between the use of kan's hands for sexual assault and the use of kan's hands for tsu's surgery are incredibly clear and further drive home the point of tsu's surgery being used as a metaphor for rape.

let's take a look at other mentions of kan's hands in similar contexts. this is the first time we ever get a mention of kan's hands.

[840070420/ Dr. Tatematsu] Out of curiosity, was it DURING that event that you told her you were getting handsy with her husband? Before? After?

tatematsu uses very specific phrasing to describe the sexual relationship between kan and seki. she refers to kan assaulting him as getting handsy.

[154314147/ Dr. Toranosuke] Hence why I'm reaching out to you two! I'd like to borrow Minase. [796285914/ Dr. Hattori] Me? [840070420/ Dr. Tatematsu] Absolutely out of the question. Keep your grubby hands in your own department.

kan claims to want to "borrow" minase. minase is someone kan has expressed lust for in the past - he's pretty, he's blonde, he's got the same borderline ethereal beauty that kan assigns to suga. when he says he wants to borrow minase, tatematsu tells him to keep his grubby hands in his own department. another mention of kan's hands.

[155402844/ Monomoko] He has other methods as well. Ones you might be familiar with by now. Dr. Kan is at his most content when others are entirely reliant on his hands.

this is one of the more prominent uses of the metaphor of dr. kan's hands. monomoko doesn't just say kan needs people to be entirely reliant on him; she says he needs them to be entirely reliant on his hands. his hands are almost given a sense of being their own character in the way people describe them. consider the people we know are reliant on kan to survive: tsutsujio, seki, suga, genki and zenjaku. if he didn't care for tsu's heart, tsu would die. if he didn't medicate seki, seki would die. if he didn't continue to care for suga through his coma, suga would die. i have no idea what he does for genki, but we've been told that without his support, genki would die as well. if he didn't provide zenjaku with the BMS box, he would die. every single person reliant on kan for survival is someone he has sexually assaulted. tsutsujio is the only one of the four who wasn't outright raped, which is where his surgical metaphor becomes even more prominent. it acts as a rape. it feels like rape. to him, it is rape. and here, we see monomoko describing these four people he has raped as entirely reliant on his hands. its another association between kan's hands and rape.

now, we get into the most blatant evidence for the idea that kans hands represent rape.

WHERE KAN. KAN KAN KAN KAN. i kNOW iT wAs HIM. HE LOOKED AT HER, HE DID. WITH HIS. HIS GROSS HANDS!!! HE DOES THINGS!!! HE DOES THINGS TO THINGS!!! hE. HE TOOk her, I KNOW HE DID. WHERE IS SHE?!?! wHERE IS SHE?!?!?! DID HE - NO!!! no. he WOULDN’T - wOULDN’T HE?!?!??!?!? OH GOD!!!!!!! WHERE SHES COLD!!! SHE’S COLD AND I CAN’T FIND HER!!!!!!! HE HAS HER I KNOW IT!!! I KNoW IT. HE TOUCHES EVERYTHING AND HE RUINS EVERYTHING AND NOW SHE’S GONE. hER FuR. HER fur…soft, soFT, and NOW SHE’S GONE!!!!! SHE’S GONE!!! HE TOOK HER. WHY. WHY. WHY?!?! WHY?!?!?!?!?!! WHERE HES HURTING HER. I KNOW HE IS. hES - hE'S DOING THINGS TO HER!!! THINGS. HE DOES THINGS AND SHE’S GONE AND I CAN’T STOP IT!!!!!!! hIS HANDS. hIS FILTHY HANDS. ON HER!!! ON HER!!! I CAN HEAR HER CRYING. sHE’S CRYING. SHE’S CRYING AND I CAN’T STOP IT!!! OH GOD I CAN’T STOP IT!!! WHERE wHy. why hE DO THIS. Why HE. tOUCH eVERYTHING THATS MINE!!! hE ALWAYS TAKES MY THINGS, ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS!!!! hIS EYES. HIS EYES WERE LOOKING. ALWAYS LOOKING!!! I CANT. i CAN’T DO THIS. WHERE IS SHE. WHERE IS SHE. WHERE It’s darK. sHE’S nEVER QuiEt. ShE’S never THIS QUIET. He MUFFLED HER, I KNOW HE DID. he DOESNT WANT ME TO HEAR HER CRYING!!!!!!! BUT I CAN. I CAN HEAR HER ANYWAY!!! hE THINKS I CAN’T. BUT I CAN!!!!!!! HE DOESNT WANT HER TO BE MINE!!! BUT SHE’S MINE. MINE!!!!!!! WHERE wHEre IS shE. IS sHE SAFE?!?! IS SHE STILL SAFE???!?!?!? DID I LEAVE HER HERE?!?! WAS IT ME??? DID I DO THIS?!?! no. No. IT WASN’T ME. IT WAS KAN. IT’S ALWAYS KAN. IT’S ALWAYS HIM AND HIS HANDS AND HIS EYES AND HIS SMILE!!! HE TOOK HER. HE TOOK HER AND HE’S RUINING HER!!!!

the maru logs contain an incredibly chilling description of kan's hands used as a metaphor for rape once again. in my mind, this is one of the most nauseating depictions of kan's inflicted trauma in tetro. in the maru logs, we see the jumbled thoughts of nemoto genki depicted as a terminal. throughout the staffside story, we are repeatedly nudged towards the fact that during genki's deterioration, he was raped by kan. it's something that many people seem to understand and that genki himself seems to still carry the pain of even after losing his memory.

here we see genki in a state of extreme distress after dr. kan took away his comfort item as a form of sadistic punishment - a stuffed sheep. sheep and lambs have extremely strong connotations when it comes to symbolism - they're purity, innocence, gentleness and youth. we see that literally ripped away from genki by kan's hands, and genki immediately begins to violently spiral into hysterics.

kan taking the sheep is, in my opinion, a direct metaphor for rape once again. he is literally ripping a symbol of innocence away from genki, and genki reacts accordingly. he completely melts down, insisting that kan is "doing things" to this symbol of his innocence, and that he's ruining her with his gross, filthy hands. "it's always him and his hands". another case of dr. kan's hands being treated as a separate concept to himself. his hands are a weapon, and we see genki completely lose it as kan uses that weapon to rip away his innocence once again. this isn't a connection that the reader needs to force - it's incredibly clear. genki reacts to this as if it was a rape. he cries about violation and filth and ruining. genki seems to go as far as genuinely thinking that kan would violate the sheep itself - directly violating the symbol of his innocence and purity. directly raping his innocence. he reacts with appropriate horror and distress. kan's hands are once again used in this disgusting, violating context.

but kan's hands continue to come up.

Hibari visibly tensed and vocalized his pain throughout the process, but Kan appeared unfazed. He made several inappropriate comments, including, “You should appreciate that I’m being hands-on. Many would leave you to suffer with less care.”

kan describes himself as being hands-on with zenjaku, and says zenjaku should appreciate it. kan has repeatedly stressed a perverse interest in zenjaku and his body up to this point, and would later go on to physically rape him during a moment alone. having this treatment associated with kan being "hands-on" is another glowing example of the metaphor of his hands.

i think tetro is incredibly effective at not only depicting kan's hands themselves as a metaphor for rape and violation, but then also successfully executing an incredibly poignant metaphor for rape in the form of tsutsujio's surgery. kan's hands are rape. by putting them into tsu's body, he violated him and left him with a trauma that tsu describes in an extremely intimate context. anyone affected by kan's hands is violated, because kan's hands represent violation.

im not sure how much more of this we'll get in the future but i just wanted to get my thoughts out - let me know if you see any other interesting examples of this in staffside or let me know if you disagree completely and think im reading way too far into this LMAO. i just wanna hear peoples thoughts

[windvexer]

would it be considered bad to just work with deities because youd like to work with them for spellwork or w/e? i dont want to seem like im just using them bc id be giving offerings as payment but like idk if id be fucked up to start doing that

Considered bad by whom? Because in this case it seems like the opinion of the individual god is all that should matter.

I've had my fair share of experiences with gods and I feel confident in assuring you that if they don't like how you're treating them, they're more than capable of just not showing up or helping you.

The gods are many things, but so far yet I've never met a single one that was stupid.

(Please forgive me if I have over-read) It seems like the implication of your ask is, "would it be morally wrong of me to get away with something that could be construed as being a user? Because I know people do this and it works, but is it wrong?"

If people do this and it works, then I think the gods must be going along with it. How many posts or books or resources have you seen under the concept of, "here is how I trick gods into thinking I love and worship them so they help me with spells"? I have never seen a single one.

If paying a god to help in magic made the gods feel used, they can just not get involved. And we don't get to decide how they feel; they are not empty projections, they are not egrigores. They are living beings who have thoughts and emotions independent of humans.

Unless you're getting Solomonic with it and commanding gods to appear in a circle under threat of punishment, it should be understood that gods will appear to you of their own free will, that it's remarkably difficult to trick them (many people I'm sure believe they can't be tricked), and that they have the intelligence at least of a 10-year-old with a prankish sibling.

Now to actually answer your question!

I believe in any relationship with the gods, regardless of the intended dynamic, people can come off as users whether they mean to or not. I do not mean to speak to any individual's interpersonal relationship with a god. This is only a generic perspective.

Paying a god in exchange for help with spells isn't inherently using, just as treating a god as a beloved parent or spouse isn't inherently giving.

I believe any person is wise to always approach relationships with gods - even strictly business-like, professional relationships - with a sense of respect and honor.

I believe it is wise to strive to act with great respect, and always build your interactions around the honor and comfort of your divine guests and business-partners.

I believe it is also very wise for you to sit down and think about the boundaries you want to establish with gods.

It is my experience that when you begin calling gods into your life, they will answer and appear. And some of them might not want a business-partner relationship with you. Some of them might want you as a devotee, or want to be your tutelary spirit, or have a more intimate interpersonal relationship with you (it's not all that uncommon).

Therefore, before you venture into all of this, I think you are preparing to behave with respect and honor if you anticipate that these gods are living beings who may ask things of you that you do not want to participate in, and be able to politely but firmly say no.

Most of all, it's best to anticipate that these living beings may evolve and change over time, especially in their relationship to you as you call on them repeatedly, and be prepared to grow your practice to them, instead of pigeonholing them into the facets most useful to you.

But it's not like working with the gods as a business partner automatically makes you a user, any more than someone treating the god as a parent and constantly demands gifts, blames them for everything, and screams at them to unload their parental trauma is automatically a giver.

[waddleonmywaywardducks]

Practicing with adhd.... (A kinda long commentary on how to work with ADHD in your practice instead of against it)

(disclaimer: I'm making this post as someone who has a struggled with ADHD. In no way am I glorifying mental illness or symptoms of mental illness. This is just something I've dealt with all my life and i know other people have too. I'm just posting my own experience and advice. You do not have to use this at all.)

I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was either 7 or 9 and have been struggling with it ever since, idk why I never grew out of it. Over the years of practicing, I've encountered a lot of practitioners with the same problem as me, only all of their advice was to try to get rid of ADHD has much as possible, well I tried that, I'm still the same. But that's just it, ADHD is apart of me, whether I like it or not. For years, I've always hated my ADHD, I constantly feel stupid, childish, and not responsible, but I am, I just need to work with my ADHD instead of around it. And that my friends is what Im going to teach you all here today, so grab a nice comfort TV show and a fidget bc your ADHD ass WILL READ THIS POST!!!!!!!!

My biggest problem with adhd and witchcraft

honest to the Gods, my biggest problem has got to be that witchcraft isnt dogmatic, you aren't going to get a rule book, there is no duality, you pick what's right from wrong, you make your practice your own. I had such a hard time figuring that out because I'm a very hands on learner. I grew up in a Christian household, most historical events that I wanted to research I could read in the Bible, or go to a church, or if I wanted to find community to help me figure out where to go well....it's basically all around me. But we don't have that with witchcraft. We only have ourselves (unless you were born into pagan/witchy family then lucky you I guess 😭😭). So obviously the only thing we can do is research.

"but omg chaos,,, I can't research I have executive dysfunction!"

I understand. Executive dysfunction is so weird why do humans have this??? Why was this built into my system??? Anyways, the best advice I can give you for executive dysfunction is that you can either go one of two ways:

1.) while you are laying in bed, cursing yourself to get up and do something. At least do something, but you just can't. That's ok. Dont beat yourself up about it, honestly the more you do that the more you're not going to want to do it. Allow yourself to be like this, allow yourself to just lay there. If you need to give offerings but you just can't get up, say sorry out loud, I always find that this brings me comfort and that my deities will know I'm truly sorry. Then forget about it, now it's time to allow yourself to just be. And then you wait until you find the strength to do it. That's it. Just be.

2.) you're laying in bed and you really need to give offerings to your deities. Get up. Just do it. Immediately once you have the thought in mind don't even think about it just do it. I know this doesn't work 100% of the time but it does for me. So 🤷

"how do I know if my practice is my own or if it's just a hyper-fixation?"

OK OK. I don't know anyone else who has this struggle but I have. When I started out, I was just a bright eyed kid filled with questions about the "unholy". I really started practicing when I was like 13-15. During these times, I didn't know how strong my hyper-fixation was with Greek mythology and religion until I fell out of that fixation. It was very disappointing to see myself gain so much momentum only to come crashing down. One thing that helped me decipher whether my practice was my own or not was simply asking questions to myself about my own beliefs and upg. If I couldn't answer these questions then I knew I wasn't really practicing I was just researching. Without my own experience, my own UPG, my spells weren't working correctly, and my rituals were failing. If there is no emotion behind it for me then the spell is just a bunch of herbs in a bottle.

"I struggle with grounding and meditation, how can I become better at that?"

Firstly, I need people to realize that I don't believe there is one right way to meditate. For me, starting out, I listened to guided meditations which helped me A LOT. Guided meditations I feel like are really slept on but I got a lot of communication done with my deties through this way, I met one of my guides this way bro. Another way you could do is laying down. As long as you are allowing yourself time to get into the meditative state, and if you can't, oh well, don't beat yourself up about, you can always try again.

"I have trouble remembering herb properties, correspondences, and holidays"

Write. Everything. down. Every spell you've ever created, every experience you have with your deties, every tarot card reading. Write it all down. Cross-research everything until something sticks. Give up the idea that grimoires need to look a certain way or give off a certain vibe. Just start writing shit down. In any book.

How I work with ADHD in my practice

Have you guys ever seen those post, I think they were floating around here around like 2019 or 2020?? They we're like "spells to get rid of ADHD" or "spells to get rid of depression" and shit like that. Yeah, I never understood those. I don't understand why we are treating these illnesses/disabilities like they are monsters?? I hate the ideology that all illnesses are bad, because yeah they impose a great risk to our health, but we can always look on the brighter side of things. My ADHD allows me to feel more deeply, because of this I feel connected to the gods always. My ADHD makes me passionate about my Interests in the gods, my ADHD can work with me.

Some ways I work with ADHD in my practice is by making a schedule and sticking to it but a bigger importance to that is recognizing when I need a break. During days that are dedicated to the gods, or holidays, I often times have a big thing planned that might take up a lot of energy. I allow myself breaks with things that aren't witchcraft related at all, then when I'm ready I pick it back up from where I left off.

I honestly think if you are reading this and you're like "yeah maybe I should start working with my ADHD instead of against it....but none of this stuff is hitting for me."

Then I advice you to look at your own symptoms and try to see if you can find any way you can work with yourself. For example, if one of my symptoms was that I was impulsive, one thing I would do is dedicate something impulsive to one of my gods. Like dying my hair, going out of town for the night, getting drunk on a Tuesday afternoon (keep it stable buddy.), who gives a fuck. You are using your symptoms in a way that works with it instead of against it.

In conclusion....

I've had this post in mind for a while I just never had the words for it until now, and I still don't even know if this makes sense😭😭 I just hope to help atleast someone (it's 3 am and I literally decided to write this like....20 minutes ago.) this post was also me bashing on people who think ADHD is "all bad." Anyways, if anyone has any other advice or suggestions on how to work with ADHD, please leave them in the comments! I would love to get as much advice from adhd practitioners as I can! Alright I'm going to sleep now

[crumblinggothicarchitecture]

Hey. This might be very stupid, but i hope you answer this.

Today I accidently got sucked into your blog, which is ironic since I'm a huge swiftie. (but I'm not here to hate on you, I swear)

The thing is for months I've been doubting where I stand on that. Like if i should call myself a swifte or not. when I was young, I used to worship the ground she walked on. but in the past year, I've slowly realised I've been very sheltered. like the problems people point out about her sometimes are actual real problems, but my brain just doesn't know how to respond to that as it has been taught taylor swift is a goddess and can do no wrong. Since your posts are tagged with #exswiftie, i figure you'd understand.

I am not from america, so I can understand then politics part of it all only to a certian extend. the other things, I just dont know what to say to that. The most i can reply is..."yes that is a bit of a problem". I feel don't feel like a swiftie at that moment.

I had fed my mind this narrative that people who hate taylor swift passionately are like untrustworthy or just a walking red flag, or just "don't get it". Now after reading your actual breakdowns I understand you have a rather educated opinion and perception of things. Which clearly rules out my narrative.

I don't know what I feel like I have to define where I stand on this, I just do. I know I genuinely enjoy her music a lot, even there are songs I don't want to hear more than once. I love the whole swiftie lore, digging deep on each lyrics finding out what they mean, finding clues easter eggs just losing my mind over surprise songs. Then i see this other side, which can't be defined with anything less than deeply toxic, which makes me question whether or not this thing i love so much is genuinely good or not.

Hello dear, apologies for the delay in reply :) I am happy to chat with you. I hope that you did not think I would ignore you.  

I was also a Swiftie for nearly 15 years. I got her debut record as a Christmas present in 2006 or 2007. Though I cannot remember which year it was, I loved her from the start. At 10 years old, I was immediately interested. My mother approved of me owning her music simply because she was inoffensive. She didn’t curse or talk about sex, in the beginning, so she was deemed appropriated for my childhood self.  She and I have since grown up. She is now a terribly pretentious bully- and, well, I grew up much too poor and much too hungry to turn into a bully like her. 

The problem- and something I think you’re very much aware of- is that Swift has built herself up in her fandom as perfect. She encourages fans to defend her every action- and rewards them for their efforts through “Swiftmas” or “Secret Sessions” or “hidden easter eggs that only the smartest- most dedicated fans will figure out.” It’s all methodically calculated to keep up an air of reciprocity between Swift, as the fearless leader, and her band of merry misfits- the fans.  

You are not dumb for falling into her rhetorical situation - she's set the marketing strategy up on purpose. It’s specifically created to attract attention- and, to make people feel good, or productive, by participating in her marketing strategy. She gives people an image of herself as a poor innocent victim of the media, or of any critique, and then rewards people for defending her. In Literary study, we call this “Pathos” as the rhetorical appeal to emotion through messaging- textual work of some kind. Rhetoric like this can be found in all sorts of media- commercials about starving children or beaten dogs, charity event banners aiming to persuade someone to donate. It’s all predicated on the appeal to our common emotion, or human capacity to empathize with each other. For, every time fans are rewarded by her attention- after defending her from a perceived enemy, or figuring out some hidden clue- they feel closer to the idol, they feel happy to have her attention. They get that emotional impact of believing they are helping Taylor Swift, or understanding her better on some more human, connected, level. It’s a game of risk and reward for her. Never mind that none of this altruistic- she gets paid through our attention on her- and if you are not directly lining her pockets with your cash money, she does not actually care about you. It’s the image of caring she projects that matters much more than the fact that she doesn’t actually care.

I’m sure you can think of many more examples wherein Swift has played this game of attention and reward with fans. It’s everywhere- her easter eggs are a great example. Sometimes her use of Pathos is benign- non malicious, therefore a non-issue. However, she often weaponizes this rhetoric in a way that is harmful.

This interplay she sets up, between herself and her fans, is made more intensive through her pathos- heavy approach to Rhetoric. To further illustrate, one of the ways people often explain Pathos is by saying that it represents our, as human beings, judgement affect. We see, or hear, the narrative Swift espouses and make judgements about it. If she says: The music critics are sexist towards me. We say: 1.) Sexism is morally wrong, 2.) Taylor Swift is facing sexism from Music critics, Therefore.) The music critics are sexist and morally wrong, because they are criticizing Taylor Swift.

So, all the critics are bad- and we don't need to listen to them. It's also a way Swift creates permissive attitudes towards attacking anyone who critique's her- because she can so easily label them all as sexist.

She uses this basic syllogism to justify leveraging her fans against all kinds of people- it's not just the critics. I just wanted to give a concrete example, and I will go more in depth on this subject in another post.  

She is playing with people’s emotions, while she is also self-victimizing,and leveraging her audience’s innate human rejection of, for instance, sexism as it offends our personal values. No one is saying that sexism isn't morally corrupt; however, Taylor Swift points to valid criticism and calls it sexism so that her audience will attack. People often have valid critique of Swift- She just doesn't want to face critique at all- ever. If people say her music is too self-centered- Swift says that is Sexism. If people say her music is boring- she calls it sexism. If people say her music is shallow and only centered are relationships- She calls it sexism. When, in reality, it's valid criticism that has nothing to do with her being a woman. Only ever writing songs about your own myopic, self-centered perception of interpersonal relationships is shallow. Her music is objectively boring, because it's derivative. Her music is completely self-centered- and she only admits to that when it benefits her, but when critics say it, she calls it sexism.

Please don’t think badly of yourself. I am not here to hate on you either- I was you. I am not here to hate on anyone at all- I just want to share how my own knowledge, and expertise, of rhetorical appeals and literary analysis can expose Taylor Swift. Swift relies on this rhetorical technique to thrive, she obfuscates the truth, schemes, and manipulates people into thinking her music is the best thing on Earth- or thinking that she is literally a Saint. Clearly- nothing on Earth is that perfect- So why does she need her fan base to consider her a genius, and a saint, so badly?

Personally, I have no problem admitting I have flaws. I think most sane people can admit to their flaws. It’s not a bad thing to have flaws. So why does Taylor Swift react to all criticism like it’s the worst thing on Earth. Why does she have a whole song about calling critics “mean/ and a liar/ and pathetic/ and alone in life” (“Mean” 2010). She has the nerve to call that song an “anti-bullying” song; yet, is it so clearly bullying that random critic who wrote a bad review about her concert one time in 2009? She really hated that guy- and all he was doing was his job. She called him a drunken loser for just doing his job. 

She's written so many songs about how all her critics are just stupid, morally corrupt, or sexist: "The Man" (2019), "Mean" (2010), "But Daddy I love Him" (2024), "New Romantics" (2014), "Shake it Off" (2014), "I know Places" (2014), "Anti-Hero" (2023), "Paris" (2023), "Blank Space" (2014), "I did something Bad" (2018), "Dancing with our hands tied" (2018). There are more songs wherein she carries this theme of "everyone is out to get me, and they all hate me for no good reason" but I think I've listed enough.

The general message is all over "Evermore" and "Folklore" too every time she calls the general public "Clowns" or "masqueraders"

It's just everywhere- her subtle devaluation of legitimate criticism. Trying to chalk it all up to the critics being simply dumb, sexist, or malicious in some way. Perhaps some people are mean- true- but to generalize every criticism as evil? That's just her actually playing a victim card. There's no way every single critic, or person who doesn't like her, is evil, bad, or malicious in some way. Okay?

I’m tired of her claiming to be an amazing person and an amazing poet- when she is just not either of those things. She’s not a kind person- it's all over her music in the ways she maliciously hurts people for fun. She’s not an amazing poet either. I have a few college degrees- and one pass through her work, with a serious intention of literary analysis, I discover that her writing is plain, banal, and derivative. 

She wants everyone to compare her to Emily Dickinson, Dylan Thomas, and Shakespeare. So, I’m doing what she wants and taking her work seriously enough to critique it. Except that, in critique, I find out why it’s all poorly written- and why it’s just a bunch of thinly veiled conservative iterations of the same boring message over and over. All she ever says in her music is “poor me” and “I hate” (insert person- Kim K., Kanye, Matty, Joe, Jake, John, Scooter, Scott, Harry, Calvin, the media at large, anyone who critiques her, and men in the music industry as a whole). She has the longest list of enemies I think I’ve ever seen- and the funny thing is that all these people avoid her at all costs. None of these people talk about her- yet she is still singing, writing songs, and getting her fans to post memes about how awful they are years, even decades, later.  

It all gets a bit tiresome? No? Personally, I don’t wish to live a life full of such self-pity and hatred- so why should I listen to it in music form? Ya know?  

In my posts, I am attempting to find the truth. I don’t want to “hate” on anyone or anything- but I am going to seek truth in her work.  

I will be posting more about how she devoids Shakespeare of his social reformist efforts. I’m going to post more about how she twists the meaning of every literary reference she’s ever made. I am not kidding, she has misrepresented, and misinterpreted every single literary reference in her entire discography. It’s astounding how hard Swift tries to sound thoughtful- without actually being thoughtful. I will be posting about how she only ever name-drops to either tear other people down or self-depreciate herself in effort to seek pity. I will be talking more about her use of rhetorical appeals to both attract an audience, keep their attention through risk-reward trade-off, and manipulate them into fighting her battles for her. I will be talking about how she upholds a bunch of harmful stereotypes in her music. She often alludes, or blatantly includes allusion to colonialist attitudes. She’s used the LGBT community for profit without making any real activist efforts. She’s leveraged feminism like a weapon against other women- yet never actually has feminist themes in her music. She’s just so painfully hollow- upon closer inspection.  

I don’t hate her as a person. I think she’s unethical, sure, but that doesn’t mean I hate her, want her to die, or anything extreme at all. I would never wish harm to another human being. In fact, after seeing a lot of the harmful stuff in her music, especially about her kind of fucked up views on relationships, I sincerely hope she gets some professional help and finds some peace in this world. When I critique Taylor Swift it’s about her work and her brand- It's not about her personhood.  

I just think that no one Earth is above reproach, or critique, and we must all be held accountable for our own actions. She’s the one that puts her work out there for people- It's therefore completely appropriate for me to discuss her work. 

Edit: Oh and I want to add- I wish you luck in figuring out what you really think about Taylor Swift. If you ever need to talk or vent more- my inbox is always open. :) With peace and love- bye bye

[ganondoodle]

this isnt a call out for anyone; i keep getting asked why i even post my opinions on the internet if i dont want to argue whenever i mention how tired i am of people trying to argue with me or proof me wrong

and i just ... for one its bc there are people that have told me they like hearing my opinions bc it makes them feel less alone, its validating to hear that i am not alone and i make them feel less alone (this is a big reason)

then theres the thing .. do you feel good never saying your opinion on anything and just keeping everything to yourself? be it big or small, i tried to do that for years, just trying to crawl deeper and deeper into a hole bc clearly i am the problem and should be able to deal with everything on my own, never say anything, i could be annoying, i could be a burden, and it nearly killed me; i have very few friends and i already spam them enough to feel constantly guilty

and if i did that on some private account ... what use is that, thats the same thing as not saying anything, whats the use of saying anything when no one listens, even to select few, whats the point if others cant find it, there might be people i dont know at all that would find solace in hearing my stupid ramblings about games

its true i lack self control and just tend to talk about stuff when i feel the need of talking, but is that really so bad?

correct me if im wrong but i was never of the impression that posting something on the internet automatically means wanting to debate and argue unless you specifically say or initiate it on someone elses post? like thats why i pretty much always make my own post to complain and dont go on other peoples posts of opposing views, id view the latter as an invitation to argue moreso than the former

when i post some stupid opinion (im talking about harmless personal video game opinions mind you) on my own account who am i bothering, if people agree thats great! if they dont they can just move on- i know people love to discuss and share different opinions but the the ones i most often encounter are ones where its a basically trying to start a fight over whos more right (like theres always one correct opinion to have) or just telling me i am not allowed to feel like i feel-

im aware i cant expect everyone to be able to see a differeing opinion and move on without saying anything, but when i say something, unless its specifically a question, i just do it to vent, to let my thoughts out so they dont slowly gnaw at me, maybe find validation in others also thinking like that (i know i cant also expect everyone to think that way .. i just see it as a form of politeness? sorta?); in all honesty, i dont do it to get told opposing opinions (i know thats maybe a little ... idk, selfish i guess?) bc i usually have seen or heard those already and am saying mine bc i havent seen it before or very very little- what i think is often very much not the majority so the need to say something gets greater the more i see somethign i dont agree with, like an urge to balance it? a call to see if i am alone or not? and much less so to argue or debate over something like that, im tired and exhausted at all times, and have often trouble even getting myself to draw, i dont enjoy fights of any kind, and especialyl so when its about something so completely ignorable like a game opinion i only said bc i wanted it out of my head and bc i have seen that the majority seems to be of a different one

like a sticky note on a wall, not an invitation to a political meeting?

maybe this is something i need to work on and get better at, i havent found a way that lets me get rid of my thoughts in a way that doesnt leave me feeling guilty (like spamming my friends) or to gnaw at me (not saying anything, or somewhere no ones gonna hear it)

i know im incapable of shutting up ever (though at least i got a better control over my emotions by now) and i risk accidentally seeming like im inviting people to a fight but i dont know what else to do

maybe its something i horribly missunderstood about the internet, but its my only outlet for that, i dont have anyone IRL to talk to about my interests, maybe its a flaw that needs work, maybe its just a flaw, i dont know :/

[kithj]

the more people complain about genderlocked characters i feel like the more stubborn i get about it...

i just feel like. there's a fine line between wanting to see yourself reflected in the art you engage with (everybody wants this to some extent) versus just straight up refusing to engage with any kind of art that you can't personally relate to.

and sure you can argue it's not that deep when we're just talking about romance games i guess but usually this extends beyond just IF romance games, i see it on bookstagram or in mainstream video gaming circles, too... and particularly in IF & gaming it tends to lead to this very entitled attitude where if the thing doesn't appeal exactly to what you personally want, then it's Bad and Wrong.

i definitely understand in some instances, as a butch lesbian there is like... no game even off the top of my head that i can think of that actually has someone that looks like me in it (except for the stuff i've personally written. lol) and i do really like the gender-selection mechanic for this reason. most of the time it's the only way we get sapphic ROs. but to me that's just a band-aid and not a real solution, especially when a lot of authors tend to lean on bioessentialist ideas to depict the gender-selectable variants, and most of the time don't even seem to be aware that they're doing it.

i would much prefer actual female characters, or actual trans characters, over gender-selectable characters. because the other thing we see is that a lot of the time the male variation is the most popular, and is seen as the "default." this is through no fault of the author, really, it's just how the cookie crumbles, i guess.... i don't really know what the solution is but i do really wish people would be more mindful about... well. all of it. authors and readers alike. and maybe broaden your horizons and read something that's different for you, or write something challenging outside of your comfort zone. i get that a lot of these games are pure wish fulfillment, and that's fine, we're not all going to like or want the same things. but when most games don't include people like me, i'm forced to pick from a much smaller pool of fish than everyone else, and i don't agree with that. both in that i wish there were more options for me, obviously, but also that i shouldn't only limit myself to games that "represent" me and am still willing to reach for something different and still give it a chance. both things can be true.

now when a game is intentionally excluding entire groups of people, of course that needs to be called into question. because then it's just bigotry, and we all know bigotry is bad, yes? a game that... let's say. only allows white mcs. is going to attract a particular kind of audience. we know this we can acknowledge this. but i do also kinda think it's a waste of time to try and appeal to authors like this... i'm not against offering feedback but at the end of the day these authors excluded these people for a reason and they have no interest in us. don't bother. there are other authors out there that are writing women and trans people and poc that you can read instead of trying to get a misogynist or a racist or a transphobe to write about people they clearly don't give a shit about.

and i really feel like that encapsulates why i both like and dislike the gender-selectable mechanic... again it's just a temporary band-aid. it lets me play a sapphic mc for a little while. but the larger problem still remains which is that there are no depictions of butch lesbians (or lesbians in general) in most of these games, and there are not a lot of authors out there willing to even try. there are a lot of instances where i feel the gender-selection mechanic is just... a cop out. there's no thought or effort put into it.

i dont think every single author needs to start genderlocking or anything (that would be stupid) i just wish it was something both authors and readers would spend more time thinking about, rather than just automatically defaulting to gender-selection. people approaching Blood Choke and then complaining that it's all genderlocked but... the story is About being a lesbian. it would not exist in any other way. and the beautiful thing is that you can still read it even if you're not a lesbian! in fact i wish more people would. again, reach for something different and you might find that you actually like it. you might even connect with it in a way that surprises you. meanwhile The Northern Passage has a lot of options for the mc both in the character creator and when it comes to romance options. i have a gender-selectable character there, and a lot of people enjoy that, and i do too. and i also chose to lock Clementine originally because i knew i wanted there to be a nonbinary RO that could not be ignored (and then the other two followed shortly after once i started writing).

there's Nuance. there are lots of reasons to genderlock and there are lots of reasons why someone might not. there are games out there that let me play with an all female cast that i hate, other games with a mixed, genderlocked cast that i love. there are authors out there that do handle their gender-selectable characters well, some of my favorite games utilize it! and there are genderlocked games that are all just skinny white cis people that make me recoil. there are downsides to both. this is not an either-or situation. it's just something to think about, both when creating a character as an author and when engaging with a work as a reader.👍