#already feeling shitty enough
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ganondoodle · 6 months ago
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this isnt a call out for anyone; i keep getting asked why i even post my opinions on the internet if i dont want to argue whenever i mention how tired i am of people trying to argue with me or proof me wrong
and i just ... for one its bc there are people that have told me they like hearing my opinions bc it makes them feel less alone, its validating to hear that i am not alone and i make them feel less alone (this is a big reason)
then theres the thing .. do you feel good never saying your opinion on anything and just keeping everything to yourself? be it big or small, i tried to do that for years, just trying to crawl deeper and deeper into a hole bc clearly i am the problem and should be able to deal with everything on my own, never say anything, i could be annoying, i could be a burden, and it nearly killed me; i have very few friends and i already spam them enough to feel constantly guilty
and if i did that on some private account ... what use is that, thats the same thing as not saying anything, whats the use of saying anything when no one listens, even to select few, whats the point if others cant find it, there might be people i dont know at all that would find solace in hearing my stupid ramblings about games
its true i lack self control and just tend to talk about stuff when i feel the need of talking, but is that really so bad?
correct me if im wrong but i was never of the impression that posting something on the internet automatically means wanting to debate and argue unless you specifically say or initiate it on someone elses post? like thats why i pretty much always make my own post to complain and dont go on other peoples posts of opposing views, id view the latter as an invitation to argue moreso than the former
when i post some stupid opinion (im talking about harmless personal video game opinions mind you) on my own account who am i bothering, if people agree thats great! if they dont they can just move on- i know people love to discuss and share different opinions but the the ones i most often encounter are ones where its a basically trying to start a fight over whos more right (like theres always one correct opinion to have) or just telling me i am not allowed to feel like i feel-
im aware i cant expect everyone to be able to see a differeing opinion and move on without saying anything, but when i say something, unless its specifically a question, i just do it to vent, to let my thoughts out so they dont slowly gnaw at me, maybe find validation in others also thinking like that (i know i cant also expect everyone to think that way .. i just see it as a form of politeness? sorta?); in all honesty, i dont do it to get told opposing opinions (i know thats maybe a little ... idk, selfish i guess?) bc i usually have seen or heard those already and am saying mine bc i havent seen it before or very very little- what i think is often very much not the majority so the need to say something gets greater the more i see somethign i dont agree with, like an urge to balance it? a call to see if i am alone or not? and much less so to argue or debate over something like that, im tired and exhausted at all times, and have often trouble even getting myself to draw, i dont enjoy fights of any kind, and especialyl so when its about something so completely ignorable like a game opinion i only said bc i wanted it out of my head and bc i have seen that the majority seems to be of a different one
like a sticky note on a wall, not an invitation to a political meeting?
maybe this is something i need to work on and get better at, i havent found a way that lets me get rid of my thoughts in a way that doesnt leave me feeling guilty (like spamming my friends) or to gnaw at me (not saying anything, or somewhere no ones gonna hear it)
i know im incapable of shutting up ever (though at least i got a better control over my emotions by now) and i risk accidentally seeming like im inviting people to a fight but i dont know what else to do
maybe its something i horribly missunderstood about the internet, but its my only outlet for that, i dont have anyone IRL to talk to about my interests, maybe its a flaw that needs work, maybe its just a flaw, i dont know :/
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roughroadhaley · 1 day ago
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i don’t think it is humanly possible for the Robby-Johnny relationship to be as good as the writers want me to believe it currently is going, but i also don’t think it’s going half as bad as people on here or on reddit say it is, so it is incredibly challenging for me to find posts I agree with about them anywhere
#robby keene#johnny lawrence#cobra kai#like sorry it just wasn’t hard for me to buy that johnny was being more supportive of Robby than Miguel at the tournament#we saw him more upset when he lost Robby than Miguel in the scene where johnny loses the locker room#we hear him yelling it’s okay robby multiple times when Robby flops#in the first fight and the platform fight#them hugging when Robby beats kwon#him defending Robby to Miguel on the plane him going specifically after Robby in the brawl#them living together a lot of the time now#them having a good summer together#johnny clearly still putting in the work despite being given a clean slate w a new baby#like i find it very believable that he gave Robby a pep talk or two lol#it would be nice to see it and i wish we did but it’s just not a stretch to me#it makes perfect sense that Robby doesn’t improve til someone on the actual team backs him as a leader#the break for me is i don’t believe that Robby isn’t still mad or slightly mean to his dad anymore#like he needs to be shitty to johnny onscreen one more time and johnny needs to take it#and then I could buy that they are getting to the point the show wants us to think they’re getting to#I also don’t think they’ll ever have a perfect relationship#and I do completely get why people don’t have good faith built up in their relationship or in Johnny#but it gets to a point sometimes where it feels like people twist the show to make Robby’s life harder or sadder than it already is#his life has already been hard he already has enough depth and making him the perfect victim in the whole show makes him boring btw#I’d also love to read a single post about Robby-Miguel or Robby-Carmen that isn’t blatantly racist#but those posts haven’t been invented yet#it’s awesome to imagine reading one one day though
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autism-corner · 11 months ago
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5guys
comments on em under the cut <3
quincy:
-Jagged scars bc he did it himself with. a big knife.
-no sixpack. just bc.
-many pubes. other bodyhair is a bit less bc he isnt on T (<- excuse bc i couldnt make it look good /hj)
eiden:
-pretty neat scars. got them done fairly early in his life.
-left his abs bc he really tries to keep em. dont particularly like it but :/ i feel like its part of him idk
-was on T a few years before getting isekai'd, aster helped him find a replacement.
dante:
-NEAT surgery scars. got them done, after his parents died, by top-level surgeons (+ didnt have big boobs to begin with)
-nips+snakebites+eyebrows pierced. hes a royal man he deserves it.
-left his pack bc i think he uses it as a coping mechanism....
-has been on proxy-T since a few months before his parents died.
rei:
-tiny boobs tiny scars. did them himself aswell.
-navel pierced bc hes a slut so ofc.
-no abs. this man does nothing to keep himself in shape.
-not on T but has found some remedy that has permanently lowerd his voice
-main reason for transition was so he could be in hiding better, he really doesnt care for much else.
balde:
-no nips.
-main control panel is in his abdomen bc its easily defendable. distinct connection of panels at the lines where they open bc i didnt want him to have abs and this works <3 + i couldnt figure out a reason behind topsurgery scars other than that <3
-no pubes bc hes a ken doll down there (i forgor)
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sydmarch · 18 days ago
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it was so stupidly difficult to find any nutritionist who has experience with arfid & takes insurance so after having to go through all these referrals my therapist sent me & jumping through hoops I lowkey hate the lady lmao feels like such a waste of time & energy
#its only our third time meeting but its so beyond fucking frustrating to feel like we spent the whole hour going in circles & lowkey arguing#& like she never actually listened to any of the things ive told her. like the ENTIRW REASON i told her i was seeking extra help after#dealing w arfid type noncense all my life was 'achieving goal x is always kind of tough but im trying to do it while also achieving goal y &#im struggling with finding a way to balance the two things' like thats IT & then as shes suggesting things to try im like idk of those are#worth the effort bcus they conflict w goal y & shes like. have you considered not worrying about that so you can focus on x?#like NO bcus thats what i was previoislt doing & it doesnt fucking work for me! & she was just not understanding what i meant by adding#variety or having 'better options' shes all like. ok but even if this new thing conflicts with goal y it can just be another option for you#like thats not the POINT i already have enough options i can switch between that conflict with that like the whole point is i need to fill#the gaps w things that are nutritionally different. like if im ok with something thatll use up a significant portion of ny daily values of#shit then i already have multiple options that i actively like well enough i dont wanna waste my time adding more that are things i think#are just ok but take more work. literally whats the point of that#& im like i think rather than me just thinking of random shit i think i could try itd be helpful if I could like get some guidance on like#what are some things that fall into somewhere into this category or this adjacent category while also not being this other thing & then i#cab like determine from there what i already like & can try & add more of & things from that list that sound like sth i can try#& shes like well idk theres a lot of foods out there. YEAH ABD ISNT IT YOUR FUCKING JOB TO KNOW ABOUT FOOD? like i gave fairly specific#parameters this isnt like a 'list every food on earth' type of question what am i even paying you for if you cant come up with a list#like that. & she jept getting hung up on like well lots of things that are the most calorically dense are gonna be like that like ok it#doesnt have to be the MOST dense maybe think about it like 'the densest things in this other category' which sounded straightforward to me#but she was just like continuing to argue & also like getting hung up on reminding me that everything is dependent on portions like#I FUCKING KNOW?? like if a serving of something is like 10% of my dv id rather find something where a serving is 5% etc. idk how thats like#a hard concept like whats the point of adding something to be like oh sure ill have a third of a serving & get 50 extra calories out of it#be so fr rn im so beyond frustrated still even tho its been hours since i talked to her this is more stressful & annoying than the stress of#just trying to figure shit out on my own i fucking hate having to try & re explain nyaelf ivee & over & have someone just talk over me &#fail to understand what im getting at. im one more shitty session away from quitting & just resigining myself to 70% liquid diet#anyways#texticles
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catboyidia · 1 year ago
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how i think asgzc handles being/behaves while sick
(except im actually projecting because im really sick and miserable and mildly (very) delirious)(also this was written mostly in the short period between like 30 min fever dream plagued naps… so its all over the place and don’t expect accurate characterization)
angeal: hes that one motherfucker that can have a high fever and will still insist on doing everything, he could be on his deathbed and still trying to do stuff and care for everyone else until everyone else literally forces him to stop and rest, and even then he will still try to downplay his illness and worry about everyone else
sephiroth: realistically he doesn’t get sick but like… we’re ignoring that… he’s absolutely pitiful but without even meaning to be, like he’s perfectly fine being alone and letting it run its course but he ends up just looking so pitiful that genesis and angeal can’t resist him, they won’t leave him alone and end up trying to comfort sephiroth in any way possible, and upon trying to cuddle him, sephiroth will immediately cling to them, betraying his original ability to be alright alone
genesis: gets super clingy and whiny and refuses to let sephiroth or angeal leave him alone, inevitably forcing them to get sick with him, and hes total crybaby the entire time, needing reassurance about everything he has ever done and will ever do because for some reason being really sick makes him reflect on himself which makes him emotional and regret everything he’s ever done and fear that he isn’t good enough for sephiroth and angeal, all the emotional baggage and insecurities come flooding out until he cries himself to sleep again, wakes up from the strangest fever dream, clings to whoever is closest and the cycle continues, only breaking every so often when he forces sephiroth and angeal to feed him or they force genesis to take medicine, all the necessities ect.
zack: whiny clingy and needy, will cling to cloud like his life depends on it and uses cloud as a living teddy bear, unable to be left alone because if anyone even mentions leaving him alone for a second he immediately starts looking like a kicked puppy and clings on even tighter, desperate to be comforted, and needs to be distracted often from the fact that he is sick or else he will complain about how shitty he feels 24/7, also he will throw a fit and refuse any medication like a child until angeal either shoves a pill down his throat like a dog or crushes it up and hides it in some kind of food… also like a dog… angeal basically has to employ every dog medicine giving tactic
cloud: tries to isolate and let the illness do its thing, not wanting to get anyone else sick, and also not really wanting anyone else to see him sick and think he’s weak because he thinks every little thing, including unavoidable things like getting sick, will make him seem weak, but zack refuses to leave him alone, trying to comfort cloud in any way possible, trying to tend to every single one of clouds needs and constantly makes sure cloud is okay, although cloud tries to push zack away because he doesn’t want zack to get sick, plus unfortunately zack can get a bit stressful and be a bit of a pain in the ass to handle at times
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breakbreadwithme · 1 month ago
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okay i’m caving today, who cares (the answer is me, likely for the few days following this one)
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citrlet · 8 months ago
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very sad this morning seeing Ryan and Shane leaving youtube to start yet another exclusive subscription service :/
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anachronistic-falsehood · 1 year ago
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OK ok ok. i don't THINK they're doing an evil alter type thing with qcellbit and fcell. i have enough faith in the admins and cellbit himself that i don't think they would fall back on a shitty horror trope even if they don't know it's harmful, and separating them into two different entities would retcon a lot of established stuff about qcellbit. i don't think that's what they're doing, i think the worst they will do is make it so cellbit was sleepwalking or something. i genuinely think the federation is framing cellbit, but even if they do somehow pull off a "fcell is another entity/something in cellbit's head/etc" kind of thing, i think they can pull it off somehow in a way that isn't shitty writing. we've seen cellbit and the admins' storytelling. i have faith in them and i think they can pull this off no matter what they decide to do
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adm-starblitzsteel-4305 · 8 months ago
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Alright, 1 week left before we said goodbye to my favorite month April and welcome the month of May, wherein flowers bloom everywhere (known as Flores de Mayo), yada yada get to the point.
Anyway, which among of these two I choose should be the winner of May (I've been drawing flowers for some reason you know, for something)?
~|[✿]|~
A plant Kaiju spliced with roses, deceased human (girl) cells and G-Cells?
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Or this motherfucking talking, singing man-eating plant?
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allthebestcowgirls · 1 year ago
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people on here acting so superior about the fact that they fuck/drink/go clubbing/ whatever the fuck is so funny bc 1 u are still here on tumblr and 2 explain to me what is so bad about not doing any of those things?? what makes YOU a better person for having sex and what makes someone else a lesser person for not? genuinely ur all such fucking annoying losers who are just itching for a chance to put ppl down and make people feel bad about themselves
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meebles · 1 year ago
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man. i just got a comment on an older fic that just said “sad to see this abandoned” and like. i get it, i really do, but you don’t need to say that in the comments. you can keep that to yourself? or vent elsewhere about it where the author can’t see. or you could phrase it in a much kinder way like “i really like this fic, hope to see it continued one day if you’re up for it” or something.
because yeah i’m sad about it too. i genuinely think about that fic a lot and i would love to continue it one day but i was writing it at a very different time in my life and talked about it a lot with someone i had a bad falling out with, and it’s hard to pick it up again.
idk. i just think people should keep in mind that a lot of the time authors don’t want to abandon fics. i know i feel bad about it whenever i do, and i’m making a genuine effort to never do so again, but sometimes shit happens. and sometimes authors update years later, and nice comments help with that, but shit like this is not helpful to anyone.
(and as much as think people should try and support WIPs i totally understand that not everyone can, since this is the risk that comes with that)
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shinayashipper · 8 months ago
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i need to find other jobs... But I can't let go of this one yet... maybe more freelance work... but idk... I dont think I have the time hhh they keep saying I should make more Money QwQ or make my own business. just... more Money. idontknoww QwQ im running out of time. if i reached 30 it's all over for me and Everyone in my extended families and the neighbors will Talk abt Me, The Failure Daughter who can't have enough money and marry a decent man
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transbeamrooikat · 9 months ago
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sillays :3
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running-in-the-dark · 8 months ago
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kinda disappointed with how this weekend went. I mean, it wasn't bad! but it was our first weekend in the new apartment, and I/we wanted to get a lot done. I already did a lot during the week (a lot for me, not a lot for most people I guess), but there's lots of things that I can't do/can't do on my own, either because I'm too short or not strong enough or I need someone else to hold something or whatever. which realistically just won't get done during the week because my husband works full time, so. it sort of sucks that only one very small, unimportant thing got done. 😔
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myatlantispoets · 10 days ago
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Ik i sound like such a stereotypical straight woman rn but. How do i ask my bf for flowers without asking my bf for flowers
#i have like. a shitty history with the concept of getting flowers from your bf/asking for said flowers clearly and nively#by whuch i mean that the one and only time i did it we got into a fight abt it#personal#granted it doesn't rly mean as much as it used to to me mainly bcs my partner always tries to make me feel l9ved and heard#in a billion other ways. so most of the time i forget abt this topic#but then i remember and i'm just like...wouldn't it be nice tho? just once?#technically 2nd time around but i can barely count that one time (with ex i mwntioned above)#like with my ex it was also a matter of him proving that he gives a fuck bca deep inside i could tell he didn't#so i ended up pinning all of my subconscious fears and gut feelings abt the relationship on this one thing#that is acyually rly small and not necessarily proof of a healthy relatoonshop in the grand schemw of things#now it's more like...a bonus. but like. a very NICE bonus y'know#i wanna put flowers in a vase like my sister does#my uni colleagues said i should drop subtle hints like buying my own flowers and casually mentioning it to him#and sbit like that#but that doesn't work with me for two main reasons.#1. i'm not giid at dropping hints or being subtle. i either tell you or abt it or i keep it to myself (and the latter usually leads to chaos#it's a also kind of immature tho i can't rly jydge girls who do it bcs i've experienced first hand how hard it is to ask for smth and#be punished and then fear it's gonna jappen again even if u have no reason to believe that#and finally 2. my bf is neurodivergwnt. like this man didb't even get flirting for a long time. and not onky that but#he's not the kind of person who'd naturalky gravitate towards like. traditional gifts or gender roles if that makes sense#so it's not like he's gonna wake up one day and go oh i should get my girl flowers#it's been more than 3 months he would've done it by now#but if's been 3 happy months and i don't wanna seem ungrateful. for tje first time ever i'm truly in lovr and truly loved in return#don't i already have enough in this regard?#ugghhh....idk what to do#venting
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unheald · 12 days ago
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