#i feel like hes always asking me questions about what i say bc he isnt sure what i meant

[thecherrygod]

im starting to think that i genuinely have a hard time connecting with people bc i cant have a conversation without either fully understanding what the other person says, or, mainly, being missunderstood

[neonvqmpire]

we need to talk about how close aziraphale actually was to saying no to the metatron after the kiss and why:

he's extremely conflicted and keeps looking out of the window to crowley in the car.

he previously said "nothing last forever" when crowley told him that he cant leave the bookshop (crowley also meant "you cant leave me"; the bookshop is a metaphor for their lives on earth for him) and he states exactly this as the first objection here. obviously the metatron shuts it down by appointing muriel as the next owner of the shop.

now he's stuck between wanting to be with the being he loves & who he now knows loves him back and his deep inner need/duty to do good. crowley's confession and kiss clearly made him question his decision and change his mind because here is when he actually decides for both.

you can see how he does not want to join heaven alone. he keeps looking out the window when asked if he needs anything to take with him.

he desperately needs crowley there but he can not have him so he lies and says no.

i this moment he tries to say no to heaven one last time. he starts saying "i think i-" and then looks out to crowley one last time. he's really considering crowleys offer here. i think the decision that he makes instead is actually FOR crowley as well.

he decides to join heaven not as he was previously convinced by the metatron to do good and rule together with crowley (which he did not want to do) but instead to go and keep a close eye on heaven FOR crowley.

aziraphale isnt stupid, he remembers what crowley said about heaven being toxic.

i think the confession and kiss makes him question heaven. crowley, who fell for asking questions made aziraphale question heaven too. something that he was always too scared to do. he has started to rebel in his head. he realised that something has to be up with heaven/the metatron bc they offered him the position. he decided to go but with a completely different purpose than before. 

he puts on a smile and it seems fake because it is. he wants to appear like he hasn't just fundamentally changed his position and decided to go against the one force who he was always afraid of yet dependent on. 

this is sth extremely relatable to someone who is queer and autistic and was raised by very conservative family members. even the thought of supporting queer people felt rebellious, terrifying but also extremely exiting and powerful because i knew it was the right thing to believe. 

aziraphale was being so brave here. he saw a glimpse of the life he wants and can have and choose to join heaven anyway to fight for this life. he is convinced it will not be possible for them to be together if heaven is still kicking about and making him feel powerless and scared. he wants to secure their future by changing or possibly even destroying the system from the inside out. 

unfortunately he didn't have time to tell crowley about his change of intention and i think it really breaks his heart. crowley would probably not understand it anyway. they still have a lot to work through and learn but ultimately they will find each other again. they always do.

i am so so interested to see where and how they meet again in s3, if we get it. after everything i just really want them to be happy and to spend their eternity together. they deserve it after all they went through.

[meansevika]

okay so very long thinkpiece about meljay and jayce' treatment of mel / the writers treatment of mel and how i think that all things considered she hasnt really won as much as we think she did

the thing about this that makes me so mad or rather sad (both, actually) is that we learn in season 1 how mel was brought up, that she didn't get to be soft and kind, that her surroundings were hard and rough just like her mother was, that love isn't a thing she knows like that especially not in relation to vulnerability. now if you think about media in general there is a pattern we know. the black woman is always the strong woman, the independent woman, the woman who doesnt get to be vulnerable bc of the first two points. so here comes this man she's trying to use not just for her own endeavors but for the good of piltover, clearly having a different mindset than her mother, and he cracks her open just like that. he's vulnerable with her and he lets her be vulnerable with him and it allows this woman this kind of vulnerability that she was never allowed to feel. she feels and she loves and there is someone who holds her and looks out for her when things go bad. he is his first thought after the bombing and hes so loving and endearing unlike her mother who is concerned, of course, but straight back to business too. and oh what a lovely thing that was to watch as a black woman who to this day still doesn't get to see this as often as we really should

so mel gets to experience something she hasnt before and you can tell it means something to her because when she gets back in act 3 the first reaction to him is an excited, hopeful one.

this is the man she cares deeply for and it is also the man who shes comforted before many times. something she needs in those very confusing times too. something she might be looking out for. something she might hope to get herself. some comforting after what shes been through for months. someone to share what is going on with her and how confusing it is to find out all those lies and secrets about herself.

until she notices how changed he is, how different he looks, so instantly she is worried. of course! who wouldnt be! she very likely didnt even know he was missing since its the first time we see her back in the city so she must've assumed he has been here and well for the whole time being (does she even know how long its been?) but it isnt fine as we know. she puts herself second! immediately! (and rewatching that scene now it actually makes me mad how she does that. and how anyone can question any of her feelings for him when shes immediately all jayce. or how in general people think shes only interested in her own goals) she asks this man who has shown her to be vulnerable around him and it BEING FINE, what happened, shes opening herself up to him, again, over and over, and he not only tells her it doesnt matter (what happened to him) but TURNS HIS BACK ON HER. he is literally shutting her off. he is saying with his body she does not get to do that. and for someone who has grown up like this, with a mother cutting off any kind of displays of weakness, this must be a familiar feeling, something that goes off like a bell

but she still tries! she still tries! she sees something is wrong but she tries to get comfort anyway, because this is jayce, right, this is the man she cares for deeply, the man who has opened this door for her and the door she's let herself through, the man who has always had compassion for her. of course she tries again. why wouldn't she? so she starts that something has happened to her but he doesn't even let her tell him what happened (actually it makes me so mad seeing this again and how crazy hostile he is towards her, its like im looking at the mel hating part of arcanetwt and him repeating beat for beat what theyve been saying for years) he doesnt give her room to speak, just takes it for himself, prioritizing himself and his own feelings. and, yes, figuring out the bombing thing and wanting to talk about it is valid and i think in general this could've been a great angsty way to deal with this topic IF they would've had the opportunity to talk this out properly but what happens instead is that the man that makes mel feel safe starts INTERROGATING her like she is a criminal that should be held for trial FOR SAVING HIM something she doesnt even undestand herself. and suddenly she is in a whole different position and i think by now she knows that this kind of compassion and understanding and room for vulnerability isn't part of their conversation anymore

she loses her composure and that of course isnt a first because she has started to be less put together around him, allowing her more room to "sway" but this kind of destruction is a different one because she feels at trial, feels cornered, feels like she has to explain herself but - and thats what is important - isnt heard. and i think that is something she knows very well, something shes grown up with, trying to explain herself and not being heard.

all of that happens while he is, mind you, still holding onto that hammer. something she surely notices too. the man who's usually quick to let down his defences around her, who isnt councilor talis or mister talis but just jayce around her, is holding onto that hammer like shes a threat. so he tells her he thinks shes lying and she asks him why he would think she'd do that, obviously, because her understanding of their relationship and their trust is a different one than his or at least this jayce that has come back from the arcane, because clearly this kind of understanding comes from somewhere and it comes from the times they've spent together alone throughout season 1 and a little in the beginning of season 2.

he throws at her that shes been using him, something that surprises her, because clearly she doesnt know what has happened, but she tries to explain anyway, because she doesnt know what has happened at least not in full (as you can tell by her reaction to viktor appearing, sensing the hostile mood between both, but also the way she reacts when viktor mentions the noxians intentions), and you can see that these thoughts of his are a result of months in the arcane alone with them and imagining conversations over conversations (although for me its still hard to understand how he grew that hostile towards her this quickly as if she were responsible for everything that happened but those are thoughts for a different post). he crashes out during that conversation, his face is warped with hatred and that is. all. for. her. to. see. and then BOOM goes the hammer off. mid conversation. a conversation that should feel safe with a man she should feel safe with but none of that is there. there is no space for her. (and yes i know hes aiming at viktors puppet but that isnt somethng mel is aware in that moment)

it all leads up to a fight and eventually they walk together and he apologizes, although very distantly and without much explanation, and despite it all, despite having good reasons to shut off and not share what she's feeling, she does. she talks to him about what is on her mind and they have a short, bittersweet exchange but it's just nowhere to what they've established in the first season. as a shipper of course that is super frustrating, but as a mel fan it's just sad to see that the person she felt safe enough to seek comfort in is just so closed off. but not only that, it's obvious they're parting ways and it's very obvious this is coming from his side and i think that is also why she so wilingly accepts it. she doesn't fight much back throughout their whole fight earlier either, she tries to explain herself, but doesnt demand that room for herself even though in this relationship she should be able to take just as much room for herself and her feelings as he does, but she doesn't. she just lets it happen and i understand it bc you have this man you trust and probably love and his first reaction to you is hostile when hostile has never been a response to her. he made a complete u-turn and of course that's off putting, maybe even scary, of course it shuts her down, makes someone who's so good with words and fighting just try to cause as little damage as possible because that is how she's grown up, isn't it?

and that is why i am sad about this. she learned that love doesnt have to look like her mothers and that being vulnerable isnt a weakness and its his doing but here she is met by this kind of hostility she only knows from noxus and it hurts even more that it COMES FROM HIM and over something as SAVING HIS LIFE when its clearly was an act out of love and not investment bc if i'd would've been just that than she would've saved viktor as well? but it wasnt about that. it was her subconscious making a decision and it was something her mother would describe as an act of weakness (theres a reason she gets renni to attack him bc she sees how fond mel of him is maybe even because shes been fond of a man herself once and she knows what itll do) and i think the worst part about it is that she doesnt ever get to truly articulate this or anything else and now that jayce is gone (dead? in a stone? who knows?) she won't get to ever probably. she won't get to say what she thinks and explain herself truly and she won't have anyone to confide in, to be comforted by or comfort. elora is dead, kino wasn't real and the real one is actually dead too, jayce is well whatever he is, and her mother died in her arms. yes, mel is a mage and that is fucking awesome and i was so happy to see her go off and get so many spotlights in battle, but shes also so fucking tragic actually. because here she is with a fuck ton of weight on her shoulders, the noxian army looking up to her, the whole name, not knowing who her father is or what any of her powers mean, the whole black rose thing, everything unresolved between her and jayce, the death of the people she loves, and shes all alone with it. shes all alone with it and she gets no one. man im just fucking sad that this woman got a glimpse of what it could be like to be loved and have someone to "come home to" just for her to have literally no one left like why do you hate black women so much why cant they get a fucking good ending and why cant they be fucking loved even when things get hard

also im lowkey mad that jayce got to find comfort in her lap so many times and not once did she get that in return, not even a squeeze of her shoulder, but dont let me get started on that....

[olderthannetfic]

I always see people who have never been antis, talking about/questioning how some antis even ARE antis when you look at their taste in media - ie the ever famous joke of "Hannigram is #problematique" "but it's a show where he eats people" or whatever.

I thought I'd weigh in as someone who could, hypothetically, be called an ex-anti (which, thankfully, nothing ever really came out of it - it was just very 2014 keyboardwarrior-esque behavior of me being a chronically online young adult who would share posts in a group chat making fun of certain shippers, or reblog posts about how 50shades is The Most Problematic Media Ever to exist -- basically I was an anti with anti-lines of thoughts, but i never, like, a ran a Shipping Discourse Blog or whatever)

For me, personally, it was a few different things. I can now see how it's incredibly hypocritical that teenaged me shipped Light/L, while still thinking that Dramione was Bad And Abusive. It ultimately boiled down to a) being pretentious, and b) just not understanding media or what proshippers REALLY believed, with a side of c) not realizing that nuance exists. like i was pretty late to join tumblr, I think I immigrated here during PEAK "yourfaveisproblematic" era which definitely did have an impact on my opinions and my tastes.

to elaborate, a.) being pretentious. i mean this one just kinda goes without saying. "I engage in media in a way more intellectual way than you do, don't you know that? You're a filthy and disgusting person who writes Snape/Hermione because you're an actually disgusting pedophile IRL who would probably date your own student that you're abusing if you could. Meanwhile, I'm a very smart, good, and pure person. When I read Uncle Vernon/Harry, I'm doing it in a G-d honoring whump way that clearly condemns abuse, incest, and rape. Unlike YOU who only writes harmful stuff as a way to get people off :/"

(as an aside, i think this line of thinking will ALWAYS be present in fandom and popculture in some way, sadly. ie the recent trend of people hating on booktok bc the books are 'trashy' and how these porn addicts should read real classic literature instead.)

as for b.), not understanding media - i cannot emphasize enough that i was GENUINELY stupid and disconnected enough to think that proshippers REALLY WERE pro-All Of The Degenerate Dead Doves That They Wrote.

why did i feel this way? why did i understand that Lolita clearly isnt pro-pedophilia, but for some reason i thought that someone shipping weecest was? well, first of all, i think that fanfiction is (generally) seen as Less Serious than classic literature, and fandom is a fun place, so i guess i somehow thought that every fanfic/fanartist who wrote Problematic Things, especially Problematic Things that they portrayed as Sexy, really DID enjoy the thought of that Actually Happening To Real People.

and i think THIS is the bulk of why antis ARE antis. i'm not calling them all stupid - i do think BEING an anti is stupid, but at the same time, there are people who are truly smart and good-intended people who just have some really off color opinions about, like, homestuck ships or whatever. Lawlight is okay because notebooks that kill people don't exist so it's IMPOSSIBLE for the Harmful Aspects of Light/L to be romanticized! but schoolyard prejudiced bullies DO exist and are a REAL problem so Drarry is BAD (*truly completely unaware of the fact that there's 'realistic' aspects of the Light/L dynamic and 'unrealistic' aspects of Drarry - such as, for example, Hogwarts arguably being even MORE of a fantasy setting than DN is.*) I know that media literacy is the hot buzzword of the year to throw around in 2024, but, like, i really did not have media literacy.

as for c.), not realizing nuance exists - ok "nuance" might not be the best word here, but i dont know how else to describe it. like, each time ive typed the word "problematic" out in this ask, i've done so in a very tongue in cheek/ironic/retroactive way, but, like, those posts about how Everything Is Problematic, Including Your Fave ARE true. and i didn't like the fact that my favorite media or favorite person might've Made A Mistake! i need to Talk About Its Issues Because I'm So Betrayed That My Dear Sweet Comfort Media Would Do This To Me. I Need To Prove I Clearly Condemn It.

like, i legit morally could not justify reblogging a twilight post without adding in the tags '#this is my guilty pleasure it sucks that the books were so racist though' or whatever. Most people were lucky enough to avoid that line of thinking, but there was an actual group of people who felt a genuine need to virtue signal all the time, partly bc, hey, they WERE passionate about talking abt #issues in media, but also bc of a subconscious fear of If You Reblog A Singular Piece Of Hetalia Fanart, You're Literally A Nazi And Will Get A Callout Post Written About You.

and during all of this i was at the tail end of my high school experience (yes i know im younger than most of your audience, ha). i was going through A Lot emotionally, going through a lot of life changes, and lived in a very . . . interesting household/place where i couldn't do ACTUAL good in the world that i was passionate about. so to make up for the fact that i was genuinely in no place to do legit activism, clearly i had to save the gay community by arguing about johnlock queerbaiting or whatever.

^ and honestly i do think that is the position of most antis. theyre isolated and cant seem to do Enough in the Real Scary World so they have to resort to talking about how bad of a person someone is for "shipping abuse", bc theyre not in a situation where they could, for example, ACTUALLY fight the good fight to end abuse or raise awareness for it.

There was way more to it and way more that I could say, if I wanted to, but this post is long enough as it is and probably doesn't make much sense.

I feel bad for antis, honestly, or at least the ones who are antis in the way I used to be.

--

Oh yes, passionate young fools who think they can at least fix the internet if not their lives make up most of the cannon fodder. Some of the ringleaders are just mini dictators and wannabe cult leaders, but most anti-leaning types are just traumatized or clueless, even a lot of the ones who do serious damage and don't just mock shit in private with their friends.

[waxflowerexe]

Gang member (?) Todo x Reader

Building off my older (gang member) Todo who spoils u

ᴳᵁʸˢ ᵀᴴᴱ ᶠᵁᶜᴷᴵᴺᴳ ᴰᴿᴬᶠᵀ ᴰᴵˢᴬᴾᴾᴱᴬᴿᴱᴰ ˢᴼ ʸᴼᵁ ᴴᴬⱽᴱ ᵀᴵ ᴰᴱᴬᴸ ᵂᴵᵀᴴ ᵀᴴᴵˢ😞

Instead of sorcerers they’re gang members who fly pretty much under the radar of any police. Posing as old money rich. (Will build on this)

Older bf Todo who you meet by chance at a coffee shop (bc cute) he’s just passing by chance to grab a drink, he sees you and he knows he has to have you. He tips you a stupid amount and leaves his number. You were just as enthralled, his scruff yet polished appearance yum. His ponytail littered with greys, yes! And just generally, size kink go brrrrrr

Older bf Todo who waits for your call but doesn’t answer straight away (he’s busy, in a meeting or whatever have you) but as soon as he’s free he calls back realising it’s you he apologises profusely and asks you out.

Older bf Todo who understands your caution. An older man twice your age asking you out isnt normal by any means. But when you call him to agree to a date he’s overjoyed.

Older bf Todo who asks you to dress up all fancy and pick you up a few blocks away per your request and takes. Opening every door and offering his arm wherever you walk. (Chivalry isn’t dead!!!!)

Older bf Todo who finds the most lavish restaurant for your first date and refuses to let you pay for anything regardless of your protests. He swipes his card with a cocky smile knowing he won the little quarrel.

Older bf Todo who takes you on a walk and urges you to talk about all your ‘silly dreams’ (as you put it) but instead of laughing is completely in awe of your passion and drive to achieve your goals. However when you ask him about what he does his answer is vague. ‘Barwork’ is all he offers, leaving you to question the means by which he acquired lavish life he seemingly lives.

After date one turns into two turns in to three and so forth, Todo is obsessed, whenever you’re both free he wants you next to him. He’s always touching you, whether it’s a hand snaked around your waist of simply holding your hand. He begs you to leave your apartment to live with him and after some convincing (buying your old apartment for you to soothe your anxiety about things not working out) you move in together and quit your job. Making him and you all the more clingy. Most importantly he offers to fund whatever aspirations you have.

Older bf Todo who is so good at managing your outbursts and attitude if almost feels mocking. He stands over you while you cuss him out and dosen’t bother arguing, he’s ’too grown’ for that. He lets you blow off your steam, secretly finding it cute how you pace around and try your best not to be calm. He always lets you say your piece no matter how irrational, he says his piece too. More often than not leaving you feeling a little silly because of how worked up you got, but he always reassures you in the end.

“My sweet don’t yell, come, tell me what’s wrong. Let me fix it

“Baby it’s okay to be mad….(insert rationality or gift)”

And if someone hurt you, strangely they’re never seen again.

Older bf Todo who takes you to work dinners every now and again. You always pick up a shady vibe. It’s not really a dinner, it feels like a series of poorly hidden transactions and unspoken alliances. Nobody really eats, even though Todo makes sure you’re well fed as he sips whatever drink he’s feeling. You bring it up but he dismisses you which is unusual, regardless, the look on his face tells you not to pry too much. It’s quite literally the only thing you argue about it

“Love I said fucking drop it, that’s just how it goes”

“I’m not doing this today love”

Older bf Todo who tries to apologise for his sharp tongue and quell your little suspicions by buying you whatever you wanted. Clothes, shoes, bags done. Hell, he’ll even get you all the books and games in the world. Just shut up about his work.

“Darling, that stupid shady bar pays for all your things” (as he petts your hair and shushes you to sleep)

But you ain’t forget 🫣

At the end of the day he just wanted to keep his girl safe

~Flo🌸

[erabu-san]

Hello!!I want to start off with the fact that i ABSOLUTELY LOVE your art!!The way you draw characters is amazing,you draw them nearly the same as i hc them

I was scrolling through your blog (the art is beautiful please dont ever stop) and i saw some anons complaining and insulting you for drawing some characters (mainly characters from natlan and sumeru) with different shades of skin.While i dont know much about this topic i just wanted to share my opinion.

Sumeru is based off of middle east,the majority of which has tanned skin (but its very mixed from what i know!).Natlan is based off of a lot of places (which is honestly another sign of racism in my opinion)I myself am from Turkey which can count as both middle east AND Europe (even turkish people dont know what we count as).I have a lot of middle eastern friends as well (Iran,Iraq,Sauda Arabia,Syria…) and they are brown or tanned and one of them is white!

i saw a lot of people say that “not every character needs to be black/brown” and i answer this with not every character has to be white.White,brown,black,asian,native american and every other race exists and every race deserves to be respected.No race should be insulted for wanting representation.No race should be seen as outcasts either.Wether that be white or black,no one deserves to feel like they are not fine the way they are.

I myself hc Zhongli as pale as a ghost to indicate that he is a god (as being pale is associated with being a superior being in chinese culture).I hc Xiao as tanned due to him spending all his time,day and night,fighting monsters.I hc Neuvilette has slightly blue-ish skin bc hes the hydro sovereign.I hc as black bc i like him that way.I hc Alhaitham as brown and so many more characters.Nobody would want to play a game in which there is no diversity.Diversity helpes the characters feel more real and gives them character depth.Diversity helps make Teyvat feel more real,like Earth itself.

But anyways this is just my opinion,i would love to learn more and hear everyone’s opinions.And if someone doesnt like your art they should just block you if they dont want to see it🤷‍♀️ Your art is amazing though so please dont mind those buffoons 🙏

Sorry it this got too long or complicated.English isnt my first language and im still learning

And dont even get me started on the body shapes of the characters

Hii !! Thank you so much ! 😭😭🙏

Yesss I completely agree with you !

And if I can be honest, I wasn't aware of this question of representation and diversity before Genshin Impact. Once, I saw a fanart with someone making a white character black, and in all of my ignorance, I was wondering why (a genuine question). So I asked my friend her thought (because I love hearing her opinions) and she makes me aware about representation in media, and issues they are facing to. And, wow, I learnt a lot ! Maybe it is a bit silly but, I always tend to focus on canon content, and all my HC was around interactions or their behaviour, and I never thought about their body appearance HC. And since I learnt that, my creativity developed a new skill ! So it is only recently I put HC on their physical appearance (like Sethos with dimples KKGEKDJS it ain't that much but it is fun, I guess HC on physical appearance is not my domain)

But it is thanks to Genshin, a game about exploring a whole world with diversity lore in each region, and what representation Hoyoverse used for making their game that I started to be into it. So yes, there is a lot of problem in genshin, making some rep worst. But without this, I wouldn't be able to learn more about SWANA culture with a thread I read on Dehya Nilou Tighnari Faruzan, Japan with Wanderer, Chinese with Yun Jin or recently on Hawai'i with Mualani and even on France United Kingdom with Emilie (i think I also read a thread about GaMing too...?). And what a surprise, I am close to France and UK but I never knew about Emilie's inspiration. Not only on character but also lore, and how some desert name in genshin is also part of culture (I don't remember where I read it tho !! Gosh i wish to reread it again).

I love genshin for its diversity whatever on region or lore but even on gameplay it offers us in our adventure. But I also agree on those who complain about character design ! Not only about representation, but about storytelling in character design (for example, you can't guess Xilonen is someone who forges ; her nails, accessories and hair would be on her way). And it happens that I receive some hate message (on tumblr and twitter. Mostly twitter) saying "this game is not for you, just leave" with some insults that I prefer to not share lol

I agree and also disagree. What do you mean this game is NOT for me ?? Searching our lost sibling, tragic lore, wholesome encounter, satisfying gameplay, vivid color landscape, with great characters, ALBEDO ??? Not for me ?! 🤨 My love for genshin is immense. But, I agree on the fact that.. yes. Indeed, I am not the target for genshin character design. I played a lot of gacha game, and it is mostly based on collectioning waifu with big boobs and big ass (you were a great game, Epic Seven...). When I look at hater's account on twitter, there is a pattern : throwaway account, account full of problematic opinion, or full of porn 2d woman with the basic hourglasses morphology big boobs big butt even on characters who are flat. It is undeniable that most of genshin characters are sexualised, and this, for sell them better. And, making them white is one of criteria to sell them better to those type of client 🙂‍↕️

I study sociology (i am a newbie tho, nothing deep) and I can extend this light analyse on what I learn : the success of Genshin, why there is such a contrast between Genshin players and their different profiles, the benefits Hoyoverse do and how difficult it is to satisfy all players (and so sacrifices are made, like characters design). It is all supposition tho BGKEJGJS but maybe if I do my last year of sociology and still into genshin, why not making my essay on it bahahaha

BACK TO THE TOPIC !!! (SORRY I HAD A LOT TO SAY) don't worry, since this anon hate, I tend to block everyone who try to argue or insult 😭 and just mostly shock how people are openly racist when they are behind a screen WOW lucky me I am not affected by those words ☠️ and all of this just because I draw Kinich black skin or Xilonen with a bit more textured hair...? That's so crazy ! Anywaaaay diversity is great and it works also on creativity too !! World is boring if everything looks the same, and it is also the same in Genshin ! Imagine in 4 years, genshin only released mondstadt 1, mondstadt 2, mondstadt 3.... I believe the game would be dead sooner if it was the case bahaha

And thank you again for all your compliments about my art anon !! I love drawing so much, and it is my source of fun and happinness <3 There is in some drawings I thought "wow !!! I improve !!" And i am so happy when people notice it too! 😭🙏

Don't worry abt your english, mine isn't the best neither BAHTVZJHGJZGAA

[prncssie]

Lately I've been thinking alot about lovestruck Hobie with an oblivious reader. I'm talking like, man's completely WHIPPED. Doing backflips on his eyelashes to get reader's attention and they just brush it off as 'he's probably like this with everyone'. Bro's furious, desperate even. If you're still in the getting to know each other stage, he acts like a complete idiot. I don't see him as a person to blush or stutter around their crush, but probably do his best to make you laugh or smile, even at the expense of his own dignity. To me, in the movie Hobie seemed like a very physical touch kind of guy. I assume it would be the same with reader, his arms always looking for excuses to end up around theirs waist or shoulders. You best believe he's always got you in the back of his mind (you make him question his beliefs around relationships at least once a week).

Pls give me your thoughts on the matter 🙏 obsessed with the idea.

~☄️ comet anon

ahhhh my first emoji non! this is so exciting 2 me c: okok so i haveeee a fic kinda like this — not really ( he kinda stalks reader to keep her out of harms way )— where hobie is OBSESSED but i like your take on it too

to me, hobie is the textbook definition of a lover boy and it takes him a while to make it look cool bc he’s inexperienced in the actual real world relationship stuff. like, he’s had flings, he’s had short-term relationships, if you can even call it that, in the past. he’s had crushes bc he’s human. he’s not locked down emotionally. if anything, he’s wayyy more open than your standard run of the mill person would be.

i think he wouldn’t be confused when he first saw you and got that little drop in his stomach bc he’s not an actual dumbass. he knows what having crushes is. he’s confused bc he can’t get his shit together and can’t seem to leave you alone. he’s liked plenty of other people before but he’s stuck on you and your pretty smile and your shiny curls, as if handcrafted by a higher power.

and everyone else is like “hobie wtf” when he does shit so blatantly out of character but you think it’s normal bc you just became friends with him. like he’s laughing at every little thing you say even if no one else is and you grin pridefully bc the positive reinforcement is nice. it’s encouragement and you feel like you’re being accepted by a very kind guy but in actuality, he’s dying to get you to look at him.

like he’ll get so desperate he’ll start googling stupid shit. “how to get a girl to like you back” “law of attraction for your crush” and he knows he looks so stupid rn but any opening he can get, he’s gonna take it. he, himself, is thinking “hobie wtf” when he’s walking down the street and swears he gets a whiff of your perfume. and when you’re standing close enough, he’ll wrap an arm around your shoulder in what you think is platonic, and use it an an excuse to inhale the scent of your hair products.

this man is completely and totally star struck and it’s not like him. i’m convinced he loves so hard. he has too w the way he acts canonically. and it’s not like he doesn’t believe in love, he just doesn’t fw the way society tries to force it down everyone’s throats. he sometimes catches himself imagining what it would look like if you two were actually together and if it’s something he’s willing to do, to actually work towards. ofc he is, btw. without a shadow of a doubt.

my hobie, the way i view him, is so unconventionally chivalrous. he’s not laying over a puddle so you don’t have to step around it but he is working behind the scenes, doing subtle things he knows you’d appreciate without asking and could possibly be overlooked. there’s not a single hobie variant that isnt absolutely star stuck all of the time around you. alllllll of the time.

[blueiight]

can i ask your thoughts on the fandom’s heavy focus on louis as an object of desire? it sometimes feels to me like people are more interested in other characters reacting to louis than they are in louis himself. i know the “helen of troy” stuff is a joke but it genuinely seems like he’s often rendered oddly passive in his desirability, like we’re looking at him through the eyes of the other characters even though it’s his story (to be clear: in the fandom, not the actual show). or am i being uncharitable? either way, you always have interesting things to say about fandom reception.

i think the focus of louis as an object of desire arose largely in response to a lot of racially-charged nonsense about show louis, namely, where a loud minority of fans tried to deny the abuse and horror of season 1 and frame louis as the primary antagonist/abuser of his own story. which in of itself had the potential to go somewhere, especially considering the feminized role louis occupies in parts of season 1. unfortunately its spiraled off into its own dead end at this point to where now people, a year and a half removed from the release of s1, can box louis's character arc into this tale of getting all the hot boys to look her way. when this is a horror and tragedy series. romance is part of that, but is a piece of the full picture. classic romance is very much horror tbh but thats just me

if we're discussing the show strictly, majority of louis's relationships are antagonistic. even with his lovers, they love him as much as they seek to control him. 'his love is a small box that he keeps you in', trailer louis saying 'i knew who i was without those pieces [of myself?]' . so on and so forth. the first three episodes of season 1 are about louis's struggle to maintain a link with his mortal community, in the midst of increasing racist tensions against the city leaders, all as he struggles to come to terms with his existence as a vampire and how his relationship to lestat fits in relation to all these pieces of himself. doubly so, there is also the nature of the second interview in present time, and the sort of antagonism between daniel + louis as louis eventually pushes daniel into burning the old tape. the latter half of season 1, episodes 4-7 is squarely about the triad of lestat, louis, and claudia, how lestat increasingly tightens his hold over them both, claudia breaking them free of it, and louis's response to such. doubly so, daniel becomes more hostile the less he knows, and the more louis's composed 'master of his instincts' personage collapses to show the broken man thats underneath. armand comes in at the end bc the interview has reached a breaking point once more [as it did in the 1970s]. i know, im looking too hard into the meme, but so much of where louis errs, where his memory falters, where history is completely revised, has to do with the question of claudia. even book interview foundationally was about this grief, though not nearly with the level of depth+ gravity the show has added to the story.

where focusing on louis as an 'object of desire' most impedes analysis has to do with claudia as well, bc if u see louis as that solely, then what is claudia to u if not a 'child interfering in [louis's] romantic affairs'? why are people already seeking to write claudia off as a wayward child unduly 'taking out her anger on louis', when it was louis at the end of season 1 who strangled her against the wall and refused to let her burn lestat? when its louis in the trailer thats throwing claudia's words from season 1 back at her, evading her questions in the cafe? when claudia is having to dress as a baby doll and advertise with a sandwich board for a theater + a coven-master that all want her dead?

i think this is by nature of the fact that iwtv is canonly gay and isnt afraid of showing that, and modern fandom is mainly interested in romance. claudia's relationship to louis is secondary, if not tertiary, to all 'camps' of this tiny tiny fandom bc she is clearly established in s1 as not being a viable romantic option for louis, despite claudia's perspective and her story taking up the second half of the first season, and will continue to be important in the second season. the 'helen of troy' fixation on his desirability in relation to romantically viable vampires [or even men] seems to be another means by which fans can ignore this part of the story, just as the mutual abuse nonsense about louis being clarence thomas the third self hating black man who stole lestat's lunchables and is 'just as bad as the rest' drowned out and continues to drown out any other conversation for the past year and a half. it is very difficult to have conversations on this character precisely bc of this state of fandom, where many people seek to crack the whip over a fictional character for not being mother teresa and having a complex response to trauma, then instead of discussing that, some seek to fixate on the fact that mother teresa can be sexy, actually. when thats not the point. why is modern louis so full of grief and all but suicidal in dubai, if not for the fact that claudia is permanently dead, he still lives, he regrets something, and wants to find the truth under it all? the jokes are cute and all, but lets put our thinking caps on.

[pumpkinsy0]

Ponyboy dealing with burn out hcs??

someone help my glorious king,,,

•he will notttt accept that hes going through burn out and try to work beyond it, but that just fucks him over more, god bless him

•”yea i’ll do it” hasnt touched it in a good long while (hes so me)

•bc of that mindset his grades WILL slip and his future self WILL kill his past self for this, god forbid its at the end of the semester

•his body burnt out but his mind sure as hell isnt 100%, he just cant physically do it meanwhile his mind is running 110mph, so he just prays he doesnt forget the idea

•if he has enough energy he writes it down but its not in a full sentence, and when he reads it later on hes thinking “what the fuck was i on about”

•even relaxing is too much for him, he doesnt feel like working, but at the same time knows that when hes relaxing hes gonna b doing the same 3 things over and over again and thats so boring so he just stays laying in his room waiting for it to pass

•one of the rare instances where he rlly doesnt wanna go to school, im not saying pony LIKES school, but he doesnt mind going, yknow???but anyways he does skip wayyyy more around this time, doesnt have to b the whole day, maybe like a class or half the day

•usually his speech is like pretty quick, but when hes burnt out, its like hes literally thinking as hes speaking, he bas so many “ums” and “uhs” in his vocabulary

•hes pretty easy to annoy, hes stuck in a rut he cant get out if and god DAMN r ppl asking him a lot of questions (theyre not, theyre asking him the regular amount of questions they always do, ponys just on edge)

•his longest burn out was a month and a half (maybe 2 bc he still wasnt fully there)

•horrible eating habits, he doesnt have the energy to even make food so when its his turn to make dinner, he asks someone else to do it and hes in their debt

[mariailoveyou-guerin]

People just now waking up to mondrich storyline and calling it a preview idk how to feel about that at least its not saying they the black characters exist to further the white ship or characters storyline like they do on that ratchet app called tiktok talking about how they needed to be something more bigger just to exist or be part of the show or even have scenes and screen time when they never say that about Benedict Cressida El who all had so much screen time on plots that wasn’t one bit important or part of the main storyline or ship

the fact y’all think black characters can’t just exist in shows without them needing to exist to give the white leads or characters direction or development will never sees to amaze me be it Bridgerton or any other show or movie like godforbid black characters just exists for no apparent reason other then just because no one is ever asking why white characters exist in stories without it having anything to do with them or the show like Theo remember not a single sole was asking what was the point of him or why he was getting so much screen in s2 when he didn’t have anything to do with leads or the show in the end but still people questioning why the mondrich who’s been here since s1 is so important in this season well if y’all had opened your eyes you would see it It’s not a preview they aren’t preview polin they was mirroring polin whole szn that’s why their storyline is so important will/pen Colin/Alice what people didnt get bc of their weird hatred for them having screentime which I knw is just racism when they have no problem with Cressida family stuff or ben having sex for 3 hours

El Fran Ben even tho it wasn’t their season y’all was ok with it If this fandom weren’t so racist they would know that mondrich are mirror image of polin from start the whole season that’s why they had screentime why their story is so important but y’all let ur racism blind u like always! Not that they needed a reason to exist or get so screen time that wasn’t even much it was literally less then Benedict sex scenes also they stopped mirroring polin by the need because of their ending is different to polin since Colin accepted Pen and Alice helped in sort of taking Will dream from him so I’m interested to see how they’ll handle that in s4 they were picture perfect married couple but underneath it all they aren’t so it’s cool seeing what the ton isnt except for lady Danbury

[doukeshi-kun]

a promise is a promise

daddy's home 😘

🌃-anon here ^^ hooray!!

okay okay phew it's been so long i forgot how to write anon ask but, a comeback is desperately needed to save the day. I'm here to talk about professor!nikolai agenda. your girl started uni and i need to cope.

while collegestudent!nikolai has been eating my brain like crazy, professor!nikolai is as needed. i might hit you up with college student nikolai someday tho cuz my classmates are all weird and i need that daily dose of delusion that someday, i'll meet a student as awesome and as fun as nikolai is in my head

little disclaimer to anyone reading this: dark content ahead. we dont do any of that irl it's just fiction, so if you're sensitive to prof x student shit keep scrolling. i say reader is 20-ish and papi nikolai is pushing 30 😁

random prof!nikolai headcanons ahead 🗣️

prof kolya is definitely one of the cool teachers on campus yk? the type that's loved by all of the students because of how laid back he is and how much he doesn't give a shit yk??? like "prof we didn't study for the test tomorrow can we postpone it?" "we will. i havent put the text either" 💀 that type you know?

BUT simultaneously, he can also be really strict depending on the context yk? while he's chill, he can't tolerate disrespect like, not at all. he jokes around with his students but with limits and boundaries.

clothes-wise i feel like he dresses super well 🤔 as opposed to headcanons I've seen, i dont think he dresses weird or in an eccentric way like canon nikolai is, he wears casual clothes :3 fashionable? yes. but nothing weird. he's tall, broad with really unique features (i imagine nikolai with one of them typical european noses and plump looking lips. this part is totally up to you tho)

prof kolya was a really unproblematic physics professor (yk in canon he has teleportation abilities so uh) that is until y/n took a course with him,

we're met with two cases: y/n is calm and quiet in class, y/n puts herself out there. now let's be for real, teachers love good students so the higher the grades the better the sex more you'll get attention from him (god imagine nikolai praising you😮‍💨)

now if you're quiet- OMG since he gets along well with students i feel like he'll openly joke around with students except for you (if you're quiet) he'll just talk with you in a low voice (btw i imagine classes like, small classes not amphitheaters or any of that) let me elaborate: you're in class yk he's explaining quantum physics or some shit and occasionally interacting with his students. his gaze falls on you once he's standing right in front of your desk and lets a small question slide like "is it ok?" "do you get it?" or flashing you a small smile or so 🤭 he's not mocking you or anything he's being genuine (for once) bc you're openly his favorite

and by that, and as someone who's a favorite for nearly all my professors so far the privileges i get isnt anything like grades or whatever but more like validation? im a good student i dont need their crusty dusty extra credits. one of the privileges i get is for example, during exams, the prof tells me "so, [name], we're scoring an A+ in this test too?" yk and it's genuine so nikolai i that type too.

(i leave anything sexual or suggestive for you to develop bc im really bad and awkward at that)

conclusion: he shamelessly favorites you in front of other students.

though you two would become a thing faster if reader is on the more loud type in his class: always participating, asking questions, joking around maybe.... i feel like when you have a question thats a little long to explain, he'd ask u to come to his office and what happens there is up to your imagination dear bean

will quickly become your number one emotional support throughout college 🥱 imagine not doing well in the exam and you go to his office to talk to him about it and he comforts you by [redacted]

anyways i could go on and ramble forever. i'd love to hear your dirty thoughts on this nikolai au :3 what i wrote is hella long and messy but we're mere disciples beanie, you're the writer here hehe

as usual, have a good/day night!!

I REALLY LOVE YOU SO MUCH *sloppily kissing slop slop*

first of all, yeeee goodluck with college and don't die bcs i almost did 😎👉 and secondly, no let's NOT get nikolai pushing 30s. HE IS 35 ATLEAST IDC HAHAHA im gonna reply to each one headcanon bcs you deserve it girlie 💋✨

yes! he totally gives me the vibe to be laid-back at his work. he's so gonna do something like that lmao. also, despite his laid-back persona and he's always like “ehh~ just answer this easy ass quiz and i'll take it as your assignment mark”, i do think he does his job greatly. there's a time where he needs to get things done and while it doesn't seem like he's doing shit, he actually GETS. SHIT. DONE. that's why he isn't fucking fired 💀

strict prof. nikolai.... ugh *spreads legs*😝 i agree. he does have limit and i feel like he wouldn't scold people or raise his voice but certainly when he's being colder and quieter, oooh you fucked up big time

i do think he wears classic style to go to classes! i'm thinking... dark academia. and yes, he's tall and broad and so big✨ i feel like it also depends on the subject. if prof nikolai is teaching theatre or drama... those kind of things, he will wear something maximalist, if that makes sense? imagine a mad hatter-themed suit but formal. unfortunately, i can't draw for life.

physics professor hmmmm why don't he come here and expand the space of my quantum pussy😏😏

i can imagine raaaaaaa :barkbarkbark: him praising you in front of the whole class because you got quite high marks for physics ahakss😝

HMMMMMMM SOFTY :feral: i can't fucking breathe😩 yes he'd totally be loud to those who are loud with him but if you're quiet and serene, he'll be soft as fuck rrrrrrrrr imagine him noticing you not understanding something and he takes the initiative to come to your desk, teach you with the softest (yet deep) voice ever. NOT MOCKING ME TOO? woah what a green flag 💚

lmfao i can totally relate with you😭 honestly, validation is too pressuring, stressing and overwhelming for me. i hate when teachers are like “so, elie, you can score A for this right?” bih i just barely got the B-grade fym (burnt-out gifted kid be like;). anyway, i'm half-half on this. but i do think if he makes such comments, and he notices you aren't uncomfortable, he wouldn't go put his way to directly say that. maybe he just makes comment that implies he does have certain expectations on you

(i'll develop the sexual things myself *takes off his pants and develop his wood*)

conclusion: he becomes my favourite subject😝❤️

i'm honestly thinking that he prefers it if you are an active student. idk, for me, nikolai (in general) likes challenges and fun. so if you're actively questioning this or that, he'd take interest in you really quick. also, i will invite myself into his office tyvm

definitely get emotional. lmao imagine ranting about other professors with him and he just supports you

well my dirty thought is that he becomes my private tutor. HA HOW BOUT THAT HUHHH but in all honesty, i love the thought of him riling and teasing you instead of yk, playing favourite and get you alone in his office. he likes edging people and he'd surely likes it if you tease him back too ayy papi😝

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

absolutely unrelated to the dreadful little polycule BUT. hey mark was there at deadwood right. like in canon. what do u think post-muse ashe and mark even Look like. i feel like. there's no way they could be normal after that. not that they can in canon but even Less after what ashe knows mark's seen him do. also GOD how does. tidalwave mark coming over to deadwood mark dragging tide with him happen..... one second im still thinking about the dreadful little polycule u know ill always talk ur ear off Abt them!!!

this ask has been cooking in my inbox for WEEKS because thinking about post-muse mark and ashe makes me so fucking sick dude. god. okay. fucking huge ramble about them under the cut

not going to answer the tidalwave thing yet because we NEED 2 discuss what happens to tide instead of depowering him bc that would fucking kill him and we CANNOT kill our dad. i know we mentioned him taking an armsmaster style retirement/thinly veiled house arrest but. thats a conversation for later hehe

ANYWAY. FUCK . POST-MUSE ASHE MY POOR LITTLE BOY. god. this is all going to be hypotheticals and questions honestly. but like. god. thinking abt the scene like. IMMEDIATELY after the trickster lets him go. the trickster lets go of him and ashe just fucking slumps to the ground like a (pun very much intended) puppet with his strings cut. hes not unconscious, hes awake, but the last time he was free and aware he had to watch himself rip william in half! lol! i think that all hits him at once and he just like. falls to his fucking knees!!! and like. mark pov. thats his son his son is free hes had to watch all of this in shock and horror but now ashe is free after so fucking long and all he wants to do is rush forward and hug him (pick him up, bundle him in his arms like he did when ashe first triggered, carry him in the car as they speed out of the quarantine zone hoping nobody is following them-) and i think he gets as far as. falling to his knees next to ashe, but as soon as his hand makes contact i think ashe flinches so hard its almost like the touch hurt him. hes just. staring at his dad with these huge eyes and shallow breaths and hes shaking and crying and its a fucking MESS and mark doesnt know what to DO and the wards are standing in a loose semicircle behind him and ashe does NOT like all of these eyes on him. he knows these are people who love him but he doesnt know ... what the fuck theyre going to think of him. after. all of that.

i think it would be fun (/evil) if for..... a little while after he's free ashe is just CONSTANTLY waiting for the other shoe to drop. he knows trickster has mal now, he believes that was real, and mal can make illusions. so . whats to say this isnt just all. fake. one of these days hes going to wake up covered in blood and gore and new piercings stinging and aching and . ashe winters will just be the empty aftermath of muse again. i cannot IMAGINE a world in which mark would let him out of his sight again... maybe not in the same completely suffocating way he did when ashe was a kid but like. he definitely insists on ashe living with him again. just. theres a sort of nervous hesitance that wasnt there before. mark is so much more Present now that he doesnt have to work for overlord anymore. he's at home. he makes breakfast and dinner and his footsteps are still loud and heavy but theyre cautious and the way he knocks on ashes door is a lot more gentle than it used to be . i just think theyre both like... scared of each other. ashe scared to relax because he thinks that everything could be fake and he doesnt know what anyone really thinks of him anymore (he is so full of shame and guilt over what he did as muse- i dont think anyone would directly Tell Him but i think . he would probably look up the news, just to *know*). and mark is scared because he doesnt know what to do. he doesnt want to make anything worse. he lets the wards and tide visit whenever they want (because he trusts them) because familiar faces and voices might help ashe feel normal again, but hes still. just. so full of paranoia that something else could go wrong.. and all he wants to do is just. put ashe in a vault or something that could keep him safe from anything that could ever hurt him again. but also he knows thats exactly what the trickster was doing to him (and what mark did to him his entire childhood) so he doesnt.

this is . entirely self indulgent and maybe ooc a little bit but i really really REALLY want the first step of them like... healing. is for mark to be doing something maybe in the kitchen or the living room and ashe slowly trudges into the room feet dragging, hair tangled and hanging in his face OBVIOUSLY not touched at all, nervous energy twitchy at everything like he has been for weeks, but instead of sitting himself in the corner or with his back against a wall he just... comes up next to mark and bumps his forehead into his back/arm/whatever. and he doesnt say anything and mark freezes up bc he doesnt want to make any sudden moves and scare him but then after like. a couple long seconds of stillness and silence ashe hugs him. mark asks (voice really quiet) if hes okay, and ashes shakes his head (which is more just like. sideways rocking his forehead without breaking contact) and mark asks if he can hug him back (nod this time) and they just kind of. sink to the floor and theyre crying and hugging and they dont talk about it later but i think thats when it clicks in ashes brain like. huh okay maybe this is real.

[velarisdusk]

Our favorite Azriel stan 🦇🖤💙 !!

1. Why is Azriel one of your favorite characters?

2. Is there a specific scene that made you like them?

3. What theories/headcanons do you have for Azriel?

4. Feel free to share anything else about Azriel that the questions didn’t cover!

omg i wasn't expecting such a title, what an honor. i’d like to thank the academy, azriel, beyonce

putting this under the cut bc i just realized how much i wrote lol

i always love the characters that don’t talk much and aren’t super expanded on by the author (this isnt me saying he lacks depth, i just need an azriel book). ig partially bc of more room for headcanons/fanon exploration, but mostly bc it’s like…. omg so mysterious let me learn more abt you bbg 🫦 az is so broody and witty and i love that abt him

im gonna be so real i fell in love with him (and cass) from that first dinner at the house of wind. like i said, very quiet, very witty, lots of small but telling facial reactions. i was REALLY hooked, though, later on at the “i don’t see you spouting poetry, brother” “i don’t need to resort to it” AND IM PRETTY SURE HE WAS LIKE LEANING AGAINST THE WALL OR SOMETHING ARMS CROSSED WITH A LITTLE SMIRK LIKE STOP THATS ENOUGH I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE i know its such a basic and very brought up bit of dialogue but UGH i literally squealed and kicked my legs for feyre bc god i WISH i couldve witnessed that with my own eyeballs

buckle up, i’ve got a good few. azriel: ♡ is left-handed. i wont be taking any questions. ♡ is a switch, but ive been on my sub!azriel soapbox for months now, and i'm not getting off anytime soon. sub top sub bottom idc, sub azriel for president ♡ if only he was born in the right place and the right time, he would LOVE rock music. i think where cass is more classic rock (i'll die on this hill), az is more punk rock, alt rock, garage rock, grunge if he's feeling a lil crazy. oh but i bet he loves classical music. ♡ at one point he tried to learn piano bc he wanted to play a piece he heard at one of those hewn city balls :) but he realized very quickly how difficult it would be what with the chronic pain in his hands and all :( ♡ there was one night in particular, he was alone at the house of wind practicing, and he got so frustrated after messing up the same measure for the millionth time. staring down at the keys - no, at his hands, his fingers... he slammed the keylid down on them over and over in a moment of rage ♡ when the IC asked why his fingers were wrapped, he'd told them he just trained too hard ♡ but he didn't stop playing. i like to think he plays in private. plays and sings for the shadows. and it's always beautiful ♡ he's got a soft spot for animals. specifically birds.. like owls and falcons i think. ♡ i also feel like he's got pre-mission rituals. like he's gotta sharpen his blades in a specific order, checks his gear once, twice, three times. reflects in front of the mirror for a few minutes, then heads out. i feel like it borders on compulsive. like he feels that if he deviates from it even slightly, something will go wrong with the mission. ♡ REALLY good with kids. they just gravitate toward him. he'll let them play with his shadows, shapes them into little animals too UGH uncle az with nyx is so :") ♡ has a small, hidden tattoo that means a lot to him and no one else knows about it. yes, he did it on himself. no, he isn't showing anyone except his mate. ♡ OH ALSO i feel like hes really good at dancing. like cmon he sneaks around all the time hes gotta be very nimble and quick on his feet. qualities of a good dancer. put him in a dance with nesta lets see THAT i have a lot of thoughts on azriel my bad

i love him

[youremyheaven]

https://www.tumblr.com/youremyheaven/763022039299866624/im-convinced-that-all-the-girls-dating-rat-looking

I AGREE I AGREE GODDDD I AGREE SO BADLY

nevermind looks— i could personally fall for almost anyone’s looks because imo if i am attracted enough to a person, i in turn find their PHYSICAL self attractive too, even if it isn’t what i would immediately list as an “ideal” type

i hate when people say oh hes so cool, im attracted to him because of his taste in this and that and his cool music taste, film taste, and whatever. and just that. like what about kindness and gentleness and the way they speak to you or address your issues??

like once youre dating i think its okay to say oh i like my partner’s taste in x and y but to say that you’re fully and WHOLLY attracted to someone only because of that is insane to me. for your only measure of attractiveness in a person to be their taste and style is actually crazy.

i might never listen to classical music but i could 100% date someone who only listens to that provided that i like their character and personality and the way they treat me.

ive just been thinking alot recently about what i would actually want in a relationship and this also recently irritated me a little because of something my friend said so 😶😶

okay but also honest question, because i recently discovered this about myself. i realised something that is insanely important to me in a relationship is that my partner trusts me. which ofc sounds basic, but as someone who is psychic and always has premonition dreams/accurate gut feelings/blatant episodes of zoning out and seeing/hearing things that end up to be true, i need someone who won’t instantly dismiss my feelings about things like that. ive had an instance where i cancelled events 10 minutes before only for there to be a news headline a few hours later about a near fatal accident on the road i was about to take, or even just moving away from someone on the bus only to see the news THREE whole years later about the fact that that person was a certified pedo/molestor (this was when i was still underaged and in school)

i think even if my feelings seem wild at times or insane i need someone who would validate it because i would never bring it up unless unbelievably necessary. and even if nothing horrible happens i just need that faith in me yk? i may have an anxiety disorder but despite that, and even if my other person isnt spiritual or whatever i need them to just understand and just not do a certain things if i desperately bring it up

id never abuse that power but yk? i needed to ask if you felt the same way because i have no one else to talk to about this

- mother anon

GIRLLLL

the looks part and the taste part were two separate thoughts but i just felt like posting them together 🤐

i 100% agree that its possible to be attracted to just about anyone regardless of what they look like BUT i hate the current trend of girls obsessing over rat looking men

like ALL of these dudes are shady asf and known for being assholes. so its not like their personality is so exemplary that their looks are justified 💀💀

i genuinely 100% don't believe that relationships work unless both people are physically in the same "range" or one person is like a high average and the other person is absolutely stunning. i know i probably sound superficial asf BUT I PROMISE YALL, issues WILL creep up and eventually being mismatched WILL cause tension. no man will ever date someone beneath them but women always go for nasty rodent looking men bc they think those dudes will make more of an effort or appreciate them more 💀and these dudes are often WAYYY worse than the chad guy

now about style & taste:

i think its very middle school-y to be attracted to someone based on their fav band or sneaker collection or whatever tf ,,like i genuinely couldnt give less of a fck about that shit.

whenever i meet a guy, the FIRST thing i look for is how chivalrous he is.

and the girls who say they dont care about "chivalry" bc their independent girlbosses are missing out bc fun fact if ur man isn't taking care of u or being a gentleman, he DOES NOT GAF ABOUT U. if ur 2 buddies hanging out, he will treat u the way he treats his homies :/ so if u want to be toughened out like a pal, then u go sis

he better be opening every door, holding my bag/offering to, trying to make me feel comfortable in whatever way he can, giving me napkins, passing me things, paying the bill, bringing me flowers, just being very socially conscious (???) of having a woman around. i remember the first night my bf and i were hanging out, we went to get ice cream for me 🥺and it was past 1 am and he asked me if i wanted to stay there and have it or have it in the car

(for context: i live in india and night life is not much a thing here, this ice cream parlour was the only one open in the area and the crowd was entirely male and they were all staring at me)

and i said i'll have it in the car 🥺🥺like ive been on dates with men who dont pay attention to this kinda stuff. i get catcalled and they dont notice. someone gives me nasty looks and they do nothing. what made me like my now bf right away was how protective he was of me and i know that its how he would treat ANY woman in that situation.

i dont really share my spiritual/astro side with many people. most ppl close to me are aware of it to some extent but in different capacities. some ppl think its more of an intellectual interest bc ive studied buddhism, taoism etc practice yoga (practicing yoga is very common in India bc its literally an Indian thing) and ive never really sought acceptance or understanding of this sort from a romantic partner although 2/4 of my bfs have known that i do tarot and astrology etc

my current partner is an agnostic-atheist and he's spooked out by all the "witchiness" but at the same time, he's really excited about it and brags to people that he's dating a "witch" 😭😭😭🤣

i havent had experiences of the kind you're describing in recent memory but if it were to happen id like for my person to believe me and respect it 🥺

i think there is a cultural difference between us regarding this because what you've described as having visions or gut feelings or being intuitive is veryyyy culturally accepted in India and nobody will bat an eye about it. so its not as isolating or confusing as trying to explain to a bunch of westerners that you "have a bad feeling" regarding something.

[wishing-on-a-staranise]

i wanna know how you wrote kiss it away honey, because i read it twice and there's something in the writing that fucks with my brain so bad, i don't really know how to explain it but it confuses the hell out of me and it's just so good

oooo i LOVE this question!! tysm for asking and i'm sorry this took me a while to answer

i'm so so sooo glad people really like this fic bc its so special to me! i feel like i really hit the jackpot when i wrote i really am so so proud of it!

i'm not quite sure if this is an answer but here have my ramble <3

to a certain degree its supposed to be a take on a general x reader fic, where the reader is worried or going through something and the character just does everything right and fixes everytging. so i guess, reader really is a self insert for me because when i first thought of this fic i was having an awful time and just wanted to cry in this guys arms. but somehow that got demented into the monster it is now!

it really is just one of those fics that gets better with on the second read, if i do say so myself. when i do put the part 2 out, i think re reading this will i think give u a lot of 'oh shit' moments (again, if i do say so myself)

the writing style is so fun to do. actions/emotions are written in very concise, short sentences. theres a lot of repetition for impact ofcourse we love her. both sort of add to the vagueness and ambiguity of it all that messes with your brain.

theres this juxtaposition of their more mundane and domestic moments as well as the very fucked things happening behind the scenes yk like murder and what is practically gaslighting your partner and yourself. Fun!

i feel like the way steve is written in this fic is so interesting. his devotion towards the reader is unparalled and unending. when @procrastinationprincesses was reading this fic for the first time, she mentioned how crazy it is that steve is dating what is practically his god, because the reader created him. and i think about that a lot lol

this is a bit embarassing to admit but around the time i was writing it, i was hyperfixating on a lot of the five nights at freddy's lore lmaoo like i was watching video essays that were multiple hours long so, many of the sentiments seeped from it. one particular one is one of the characters promises one dying character that he wil 'put him back together' which paralells 'he's the only one who could ever fix you' in the fic if that makes sense?

another thing that affected the tone of this fic was the fact that i always had to listen to mitski's "my love mine all mine" everytime i sat down to write. and i still have to do that when i try to get into the mood for part 2. the fic isnt necessarily based on it but the vibes are very much there

another thing i might have subconsciously taken from def was wandavision. i think that is self explanatory in of itself.

one of my fave lines i've ever written def has to be "silence was unbearable when it wasn't mixed in with your heartbeat" :( bc thats crazy i ate that i fear

[mad-c1oud]

MAD. I have so many things i love abt your fics. in no order:

The panick from elotes when he sees charlie die from dehydration and he decides ‘fuck emotional maturity’ !!!!! OH GOD ITS SO GOOD

I think CONSTANTLY about when charlie was like ‘you dont have to call me slime, it isnt, like, reserved’ and they talk and etoiles goes ‘oh and you can say my name right’ and slime goes WHAT. Oh god i think abt it like daily and have a giggle

In fake it till you make it when charlie is calling etoiles all the nicknames and antoine just pretends like nothing is happening ❤️❤️

on the topic of fitymi, THE KISS GLASS FACTORY SCENE. RENT FUCKING FREE. The way you wrote it and then THE COPS KNOWING LMAOOO IT DIDNT WORK. Roier chanting “mi dinero!” Bc he won the bet is CHEF KISS

when etoiles casually kisses charlie and leaves, phil’s reaction when he realizes is GOLD KKKKK. “Is that why charlie has been blowing up my phone?” And etoiles going “i kissed and now i am telling” AGH

The intro (?) scene to immi where etoiles is just like ‘its okay its okay its okay he doesnt need items, hes really doing just fine–’ so he doesn’t rip charlies armor off where hes standing is HILARIOUS

“He is here. He is ravenous” then charlie dying to eater of suns was my favorite bc ITS SO IN CHARWCTER LMAO. HE WOULD.

How etoiles breaks a million avocados as baghera pulls out all the arrows from charlie. You can //feel// the need to protect coursing through his veins and poor bro has to make dinner

How youve written TWO scenes where etoiles brain fails upon imagining charlie in eyeliner. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE (i am too)

Not a apecific scene, but the (in immi) motif of charlie not feeling like enough so he always has to bring //something//.

GOD THE ENTIRE MOST RECENT CHAPTER OF IMMI. STAN FERAL HYBRID. STAN THEIR ONE SAFE PERSON. HAHAIXHSNAJAJJSUXIXIWWNKEODOEPQPEI

The immi scene where etoiles tells charlie about the bug :(

God how //unserious// charlie is about being hurt (and probably etoiles but they have different ways of unserious). Its so true to his character but i still wanna just SHAKE HIM so he doesn’t crack jokes //while he’s bleeding out//

The scene where etoiles rushes charlie back. It feels so rushed but not like you wanted to get it over with, just… like everything is a blur to etoiles while hes doing this. Like he remembers the steps he took but not what he felt when he took them. (Also how he gives himself five seconds to scream into a pillow. Felt that. STAN.)

Him asking for two cookies from phil bc he is ‘fading fast’ and when phil shows up he pretty much (albiet accidently) tunes oht phil bc he //cant look away from charlie–//

That stupid fucking cod elotes put in the barh idk if it has a name but I have a love/hate relation with it. I wonder if they kept it.

“Its not a waste with you” KILL ME THEYRE IN LOVE

When etoiles tells him to say if he feels hurt, then charlie starts crying and e is like “eh! Im so sorry what did i do you didnt say anything–” and charlies like eueuue youre so nice

Charlie purring… yes… YESSS…. (Love it when anything and everything hybrid purrs 💖)

“My cucumber” ….

When charlie pretends to be etoiles boyfriend to get into the hospital (fitymi) and the nurses are like uh this guy named charlie- and elotes goes “hehehehhhh yeahh charlie. He’s my bro” and the nurses take that as dating (BECAUSE WHAT ELSE IS IT????)

sorry tjis was so long i just had a chance to rant abt your writing and BY GODS NAME DID I TAKE IT

💖i hope you fee better

DUDE 😭😭😭

This is the best thing I’ve ever read. People always comment on chapters and fics in that moment they read them usually, so I’m always curious what sticks with people weeks later, what occupies their brain again and again long after reading…

Reading all this had me smiling so fucking big it Hurts oh my good you are so sweet dude

To answer your question: Charlie kept the cod Paul! It lives in the little pond he has in the greenhouse. It was supposed to be mentioned during the birthday chapters, but I reworked a lot of content and it not longer fit nicely so I just took it out for now. The feesh will be seen again…

The nicknames in fake it were my favorite part. I got like three sentences in and was like— hold on Idea—

And yeah Charlie giving things to Étoiles in immi, that comes a personal habit. Qcharlie has been broken down time and time again that this amount of unwavering kindness feels illegal to accept. He’s had to pay the price for so much, so sure this too right? Étoiles wants to shake him <3

YEHAHHH THE NAME THING IN IMMI!!! Man I needed a way to ween Étoiles into calling him Charlie that was just causal cause that’s Boring, and I wanted to acknowledge the face that irl, ccChatlie didn’t know how to pronounce his name at first either lmao

i like Charlie in eyeliner, sue me….

One of my favorite chapters might just be A Bandage. From the other islanders to the cooking to karaokeduo to the Chittering!!!!! Idk that one holds a special place in my heart <3

Also fun fact: I had like, 4 other fake dating scenarios I jotted down for fake it but I was worried the fic would turn into immi which also started as a 5+1 so I scrapped some ideas and kept a it short and sweet. kinda regret it and wish I could rewrite it but I still like what it turned in to

Man reading my own work through your comments is really nice. Gives me a better appreciation for what I’m creating haha

Thank you sm for all this, it means a lot and it’s never too long trust me <333