#street you live off of??? sorry for existing in a public space???

[natugood]

I wanna know what it’s like to live in other cities cause every damn time I do a long walk here (ESPECIALLY at night) I end up so fucking angry!!!!! Like super pissed off and deeply bothered at the world!!!! and idk if it’s just the disparities and contrasts of issues *here* that bother me so deeply or if it’s more stuff related to modern US/western society in general, or if it’s a little bit of both and I’m just more sensitive to it here cause it’s more visible to me.

[davespwite]

im not going to be nice in this post

its so funny to me that some people on here will say "ummm, we cant ban cars, its a 15 minute drive to the store from where i live" like do you not see any issue with what you just said. are you okay with having to drive 30 minutes total to go to the store. really? and "walkable cities is an ableist dogwhistle" is such an ignorant thing to say. not only are you getting caught up on semantics and ignoring the actual message being communicated to you, you demonstrate that you have absolutely NO understanding of what people are actually advocating for. less car dependence = more accessibility for everyone.

first of all, nobody serious or worth listening to is advocating to ban cars straight off the bat. believe it or not but people who want walkable cities have an issue with the city design itself not the fuckin cars. why would we ban cars when it takes you 15 minutes to drive to the store? if your only reason for dismissing the conversation around walkability and cars is because you think we want to ban cars and believe thats all there is to fix the problem, im not sorry to tell you that youre being ignorant.

no, cars should not be banned straight off the bat. what should be changed is city design- cities are designed around cars, not humans. the fundamental problem there is that humans, pedestrians, are being put second behind 2-5 ton machines. these machines destroy the environment in a multitude of ways. the mining for their batteries, oil, gasoline, emissions, microplastics off their tires, etc.... instead, city design should put the human first- walkways and sidewalks should be wider, bike lanes more common, and public transit that moves people en masse efficiently instead of one vehicle housing 1.5 people.

secondly, to all the "its an ableist dogwhistle!" people out there, i have a serious question for you.

which one of these is more accessible for the disabled? for reference, the image on the right is close to the ideal for a lot of people- i think most people advocating for less car dependence would say even that could be improved to be even more accessible to everyone.

left: -visible smog -cars parked on the sidewalk -high curbs -restricted movement -not even a crosswalk -smelly and noisy. uncomfortable to be a human in. made for cars.

right: -no cars on the sidewalk! -crosswalk -lower curbs -freedom of movement--the lanes originally meant for cars were narrowed, therefore the sidewalks are wider -generally quieter. made for humans. social and much cleaner

is it "accessible" if you have to get into and out of your car to go to the store- a process that is all the more time consuming if you use a wheelchair? or is it accessible if you can simply go out the front door and travel without relying on a vehicle to get there in a timely manner?

is it "accessible" to be forced to rely on your car to get anywhere?

some of you make the assumption that cars should be banned and nothing else will change. that people will just have to walk through these giant, spaced-out neighborhoods and shopping districts that were so obviously made for cars. if you live in america, do you step out onto a sidewalk on a street that looks like this:

and feel like the environment is actively hostile to your existence? do you feel comfortable here? is this accessible to you? what if i want to go to the shops across the street? if im not in a car, i have to walk all the way down to an intersection to cross, or jaywalk and risk getting myself killed because the design of this street is so open and wide that people feel comfortable speeding.

^^^ this is a major arterial road in a commercial shopping district. the mall is here, ahead on the left, past the Red Lion sign. if you dont have a car and you want to go from target to the mall, you would have to cross 7 lanes of traffic at the Red Lion sign. thats ignoring having to travel through the massive parking lots taking up all the space. if we got rid of the parking lots the mall and target would probably be directly across the street from each other. if you cant afford a car (you probably shouldnt be shopping at target tbh) then is this accessible? please, tell me, is this accessible? would you prefer this over being able to freely move without a car? really?

[max-nico]

hey anon from the clothing ask here~

i meant the mobian culture around clothing but you can pick the one that you like more! :)

sorry for not clarifying

Ofc ofc !!!! You're all good Anon 🫶🏾 forgive me if I take a bit to answer this ask, I need to organize my thoughts into words lol as of me writing this sentence I'm trying to condense an essays worth of writing into somewhat easily consumable bullet points.

Hope this is to your liking 🫶🏾🫶🏾

Gloves

I've been Headcanoning gloves are worn for decency's sake, as in they are the Mobian equivalent to undergarments for humans, but I hadn't really put more thought into it than that

I'm sure it's either for practical reasons, or it's more of an emotional trust type of thing.

For example, cats typically don't let you pet their stomach or their paws unless they're sleeping and they leave them exposed to you, hence trusting you.

Or, animals typically don't all experience touch the same way. Some bugs can taste with their hands and feet, and I'm sure it'd be uncomfortable to be tasting every single hand you've ever held. So, gloves.

I'm also sure there are plenty of animals who are highly sensitive to touch or temperature, which would also make accidentally bumping hands in the street uncomfortable

I understand that, as someone who's touch averse and germaphobic I completely understand the need for everyone to wear gloves.

I'm sure some Mobians wear them less than others, like deer (idk much about deer so I could be wrong) probably can't feet much through hooves, and I'm sure their Mobian counter parts have hands but maybe the low amount of nerve endings carry over

Maybe it's more of a politeness thing? Like not wearing gloves in public is a bit of a dick move, because even if it doesn't affect you personally it could affect the person you're next to.

I also don't think young kids have to wear gloves. Have you ever tried to get shoes on a toddler who hates them, and will just take them off and lose them anyway? It's a lot of work for zero reward

You obviously have to teach your kids to wear them though. Especially once they start hitting about preschool age...

..But I'm just spit balling here lol

Clothes

I definitely think clothes are a human influence, Mobians don't really wear clothes generally. Most of our cast wears like- shoes and gloves + a jacket at most

Even Sally's original design followed that pattern

I think Mobians who grew up around humans, or have at least spent a long time around humans have adapted to wearing clothes most of the time.

Take Amy who has always worn clothes, and has basically always been in a city, compared to Sonic and Tails, who have always been living fast and free, yk?

Or Knuckles who grew up on a secluded floating island compared to Rouge who literally has a government job lol

Ofc, Shadow exists, and he doesn't wear clothes but he's also this half alien science experiment on immortality who grew up in space and then was put into stasis for 50 years and then suffered from severe memory loss

So... I feel like he may be a huge outlier lol...

I'm sure clothing for Mobians is a huge tell on where everyone's from, because Mobians from Holoska, Empire, Soleanna, and Spagonia, do not all dress the same, even if the patterns on their coat are similar

Basically the same thing people do when it comes to cultural clothing and skin color

I think it'd be cool if Mobians would've naturally progressed into face paints and hair(fur?) dye instead of clothes without human interference

Other

I was thinking about animal habits that carry over to their Mobians counterparts, then I started thinking about crows lol

Crow type Mobians, no matter where they live or are from, would typically gravitate toward maximalism and shiny garbs. But then I was like... Okay that's cool but where do stereotypes begin and instincts end?

Then I learned that crows might not actually collect shiny things and that it's probably a myth and decided to apologize to the crow Mobians I made up for stereotyping them lol

My question still stands though !! I also feel like someone asking a Mobian something along the lines of "So do you wear necklaces because wild crows like to collect shiny things?" Would be more of a human thing lol

I feel like Mobians in general have a better understanding of each other's instincts than humans do, which can definitely lead to inappropriate questions

But crows are still hoarders though... So maybe if raised by their own they all do tend to wear a maximalist style, but then would that end up being nature or nurture?

And THEN I was talking to my girlfriend about this and she was like, "well maybe these hypothetical crows all grew up hearing these stories about their ancestors that could be true or false, but they've just been honoring this traditionally shiny clothing for so long that it's second nature"

and was like wow.... And now there's even more questions to ask and we've been talking about hypothetical crows for a long time and I feel like we're getting too far from the original point bc now we're getting into specifics instead of more broad topics

But I figured I'd put it here anyways

[aintgonnatakethis]

⭐🌙🌌

⭐️ Star - Do you have a favourite character? If so, why are they your favourite?

*chanting loudly* David David David!

This guy, let me fucking tell you. He will do whatever it takes. And that phrase is often used as hyperbole, but not for him! He will do anything if it helps him reach his goal. I get annoyed at a lot of characters in popular media who are ever so caught up in their morals and how they feel about things and I want to bang their heads against the wall and tell them "Your feelings don't matter. You have a job to do."

Veering away from David for a moment to give an example of what I mean. In Star Trek: TNG, Picard has an opportunity to wipe the Borg out, but doesn't take it because it would involve killing the Borg they've captured whose personality has reasserted itself after being cut off from the collective. But that Borg's going back to the collective anyway, to an existence as a drone which I'd say is a fate worst than death. But Picard places his morals above what needs to be done, saying "Well, it may turn out that the moral thing to do was not the right thing to do." The answer is a resounding DUH, because Picard hasn't been forced into captaincy; he has put himself in a position to make these incredibly important decisions. It doesn't matter whether he can look at himself in the mirror anymore - he would have saved countless lives. All the blood the Borg spill after this point onwards is on his hands. How is that more moral? (It's the trolley problem. That's the episode.)

Okay, sorry, back to David. He's ruthless, grounded, focused, unyielding, but he also doesn't hurt people for fun. If they need to be hurt to achieve his goal, have at it, but he's not cruel or vindictive; a little petty, but just a normal human amount. I've had a lot of amazingly fun discussions with people about where David's line in - psychologically, he is fucking fascinating!

🌙 Crescent moon - Do any of your characters have to hide a part of themselves? Why?

So in my vampire series (which I should be working on but I keep getting distracted 💀) Rush hides his vampirism, going stealth because vampires are treated like dangerous predators, which I use as an allegory for gay/trans people. There's a public register vampires have to sign up to if they want to be able to use blood banks o eat. This obviously means everyone from potential employers to a neighbour down the street would have the ability to type his name into the register and bang, it would confirm him as vampire, meaning at best social ostracization, at worst…

🌌 Milky Way - What is the character development like for your characters? Do they change a lot or not much at all?

Young is on a fucking roller coaster right from the start! He's spent his life in a box, Performing the Necessary Behaviours to be seen as A Man. He's stoic, short-tempered, stubborn, emotionally unavailable, you name it. And the story revolves around him realising he can step outside of the box and still be a man. He doesn't have to be violent or a womanizer or indeed straight at all - he can be FREE.

Space related ask game

[aronarchy]

i definitely agree with your positions on youthlib, adultism and the nuclear family model, however my question is - what's your positive plan, if any, assuming you could remove / already have removed these oppressive constructs?

Ok first off: this has been sitting in my inbox for several months, and I’m really sorry that I haven’t answered it sooner, and I feel really bad about that, and I’m not even entirely sure why (I started drafting my answer a while ago, then developed a sort of mental block around the whole thing and somehow only got over it today); I’m sure this probably feels irrelevant by now, or unnecessary, and sorry about that!

.

If the question is “what will replace adultism/nuclear family wrt performing their [actual] current functions,” the answer is—nothing. Their purpose is to control large swathes of people, to regulate certain behaviors, and to concentrate power and resource in the hands of some at the expense of others. There is no need for anything that oppresses and abuses youth to exist at all, and it should not exist, and the whole point of a youthlib movement is to get rid of them.

If the question is “what will replace adultism/the nuclear family/current educational institutions/etc in doing what they currently claim to do/be for,” that’s a rather different question.

Adultists claim that the nuclear family allows for youth to be sheltered, fed, clothed, and taken care of: that without it, youth will die en masse, will starve on the streets, etc. But this is not actually true; the prescription of the Family leads to many neglectful/abusive parents refusing to or inadequately feeding, clothing, and caring for their children. If youth were able to easily acquire food, clothing, shelter, and other resources without having to rely on parents, that would solve this problem. If youth were not forced to remain with their biological family, they could leave when they wanted, the same way anyone else would leave a living situation or relationship they find harmful to themself, or just not something they want, and form relationships that they do want, when they are able to do so and not under social, economic, and political pressures to remain.

I question the popular framing of what will you do when The Revolution is Over, as if these are only things we can do later, rather than things we are (or should be) doing now, and things which are a part of revolution itself and also contribute to the undermining of oppressive structures. What we hope we’ll be doing Then is what we’re struggling to do right now. One of those things is simply living our lives the way we wish (while not preventing others from living their own lives the way they wish). Like anyone else escaping abuse, youth who have escaped adultist oppression will start doing the things they want to do which they were previously unable to because they were forced to not do them. The youthlib project works toward maximizing the ability of doing these things unimpeded, and also doing the things themselves. i.e. moving around in public spaces without harassment, living with people they want to live with, dedicating their time to hobbies or projects they find useful or other things without being dragged away to meaningless forced labor daily.

One thing adultism (like other oppressive systems) promises is to prevent not only various harmless activities but also harmless ones. Adultists claim that if not subject to adult rule, youth will be violent toward each other, and that without adultism, there would be no recourse for victims of abuse by other youth. The adultist’s solution is to maintain figures with far more power than either party so that adults will be able to stop a youth abusing another youth. This is clearly wrong, of course: this makes it so that when adults abuse youth, there is no possible recourse (apart from seeking an even higher authority, which poses the exact same problems as this); most adults don’t even bother to use their power to stop abuse between youth, as it is in their interest to uphold hierarchies among the people they oppress, and they are themselves pro abuse, so why would they care to stop abuse? It is far more common for a parent, a teacher, etc who is called on to stop a case of bullying to disbelieve or blame the victim and to punish the victim instead. (When they do punish bullies/abusers, this isn’t usually great either, because they are simply enacting more abuse by the more powerful onto the weaker.)

How do adults resolve adult-on-adult abuse or victimization? Most appeal to a third party of higher authority than them both (the manager, the boss, the cop, the judge, the state leader). Some don’t, and instead resolve the conflict by seeing where they are at right now, and what they need, and acting accordingly. Without the reassuring (but ultimately poisonous) presence of a Higher-Up to solve the problem, how would youth deal with violence among themselves? The same things many are doing right now when struggling against abusive authority figures, or trying to stop a bully without the help of indifferent adults. Youth liberation simply means that the many barriers to this are taken down (and the process which takes them down is also the process that solves the problems themselves). Without the ability to lock up “violent juvenile offenders” in psychiatric wards to “fix” them or detention facilities to “neutralize their threat,” how would we stop harm? Community protocols, mutual aid, self-defense... everything everyone is doing now, as part of their day-to-day lives, these are the options that we struggle to make more available and more successful.

I generally don’t like trying to give answers to questions that are too vague or broad, because it’s rather difficult for me—my mind is much clearer when I am answering about specific situations—but I can discuss some of the things that have come up in conversations with my friends, or conversations I’ve seen my friends have. One was about the family. We talked about what could be the alternatives to the current “bio parents = raise them in their own house” model. I think we can generally agree that 1) a parent who don’t want to raise their kid should not have to, for both their sake and for the kid’s; adoption should be an easily available option, but without the bureaucratic bullshit and abuse and neglect we have going on right now; 2) if a child is too young to state which particular person(s) they would prefer to live with, and doesn’t indicate with other reactions that they dislike an adult/prefer a different adult, we’re not for grabbing babies out of bio parents’ arms to redistribute on some bizarre planning principle; 3) it should be easier for more than just two adults to live in one home taking care of a child/children, and children and adults should be able to get outside and move around more, and non-familial adults should be able to help out with raising a kid more (i.e. the old “it takes a village” mantra). Education not coercive and strictly regimented; information (i.e. libraries, bookstores, archives, the internet) available and more specific teaching programs (i.e. specialized educators, other teachers, classes) available but not forced. Better mental health services. Cultural shifts; earlier education about boundaries, consent, autonomy, and abuse being wrong. Disability accommodations without bullshit red tape. Neurodivergence, mental illness, physical illness, and disability testing and information more widely available and not limited by ableism. Improved mental health services, harm reduction, queerness not stigmatized/treated as taboo, youth who come out as weird early not invalidated or locked up.

Some less “formal” things I’m particularly interested in right now are things like accountability processes, protocols when harm occurs, and getting each other to get better and more proactive at stopping harm and de-platforming abuse/abuse advocacy. This involves things like group education/information sharing, but also practicing, and acknowledging and resisting incentives to enable harm for the sake of “group cohesion” or other social pressures. I imagine this would look similarly IRL, though I’m not really socially connected with anyone offline because of certain limitations in my circumstances. But I have been reading about how IRL leftist communities have fared; applying something like the above to youth would involve being more aware of predator red flags, working against incentives to ignore discomfort from boundary violations, encouraging each other to respect consent and to not tolerate boundary-crossing, and collectively removing predatory/abusive/bigoted adults from spaces/events or positions of power that allow them to continue carrying out harm. Some other things would be, i.e., distributions of food and clothing to those in need without violent and unjust gatekeeping; current versions of that look like mutual aid, or shoplifting and theft when otherwise unavailable.

There’s a lot I haven’t covered, and I don’t feel up to trying to cover everything that could fall under the above (especially not in one go); a lot of people have discussed other examples and answers elsewhere (tweets, posts, blogs, papers, orgs...) and there’s been even more written out in much more detail in books (first that came to mind was Sophie Lewis, Full Surrogacy Now & Abolish the Family, I haven’t read them yet but I’ve heard good reviews and they seem to have that kind of planning goal, specifically discussing the nuclear family and other possible kinship formations which were a thing your ask mentioned in particular so).

[thedeliveryservicefanfic]

The Delivery Service, Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven: Baked Goods

Tifa hung up the phone, unsettled. Reno, of the former Turks, had made another call to them. Apparently he had gotten a tip off about a mob ring- but with no concrete evidence of it's existence, WRO was unwilling to investigate. This was odd to Tifa, who thought that the WRO and Reeve- in particular- would take every tip seriously.

"I thought you and the other Turks were working with public safety now." Tifa had said. "As you told me before, you had to work to pay the bills."

"Of course. But now I have to follow these stupid things called rules."

"How awful."

Reno had laughed at that. Then he asked if the Strife Delivery Service could look into it. Then Reno had asked how she was. Then he asked if she was still single. Then he asked her out on a date.

After politely but sternly refusing, she hung up on  him. A weird feeling fluttered in her

stomach. Sure, she had been propositioned before- but always by a random bar patron or someone she had met in a store or something. Yet she knew Reno- in an odd twist of fate, she could even call him a friend. It just didn't settle right, because she has briefly considered saying yes. A night out, doing what normal people do- dinner, dancing, movies- with a someone sounded appealing.

Tifa's thumb hovered over her speed dial, intending to call Cloud. She could ask him for a night on the town, but she knew what he would say. That their friendship wasn't like that. That he was sorry.

It would be the same old dance, and Tifa was exhausted. It was tiring to be constantly fighting for something; feel like maybe you were succeeding and breaking walls- but all of the sudden be back at square one.

Tifa was beginning to feel that she should start moving on.

_________________

Twelve drug related deaths in the past month and they kept getting closer to home. That upset Cloud; the latest death was too close to Marlene's school. So when Tifa called and told him about the job the ex- Turk offered, Cloud readily agreed to it.

Two more days passed.

Now he was sitting on the street, dressed in an old hoodie and a knit cap, sunglasses on his dirty face to cover his mako eyes. He was without a sword, making him feel oddly naked. Luckily Tifa loaned him a pair of old fighting gloves and he placed materia in the slots, then covered the weapon with his jacket sleeves.

It was amazing. People would pass him by without a second glance, thinking that he was just another homeless person. A snooty topper- and Cloud grimaced when he recalled that old insult for people who had lived on top of the Midgar Plate- had even called him a 'waste of space'.

At the same time, people noticed him. Usually other homeless, who offered him food and water. Cloud accepted these offers, and even shared the little he had with everyone else.

"Any one wan' a materia? I need ta sell them." He slurred, and sometimes would flash his blue eyes.

"Son I ain't got what ya want." An old toothless man told him on his fifth day out on the street. "But tell you what- go to the bakery. They help."

The bakery. Cloud stored that knowledge. A front? Possible.

Luckily for him, his cover as a junkie held and many believed that he was selling anything he could just so he could get a hit of X- MAK. Unfortunately, over the next three days, no one could tell him anything else but 'Go to the bakery'.

Though no one knew what bakery to go to. Surprisingly, most people were clean. He tried and tried to get a name, an address- but everyone just told him to 'Go to the bakery'.

Cloud was getting tired of pretending to be homeless. He longed for a warm meal, his warm bed, with a warm Tifa in it.

Stop it. Cloud scolded himself. We’re not like that.

Still, the image of Tifa in the hallway was burned into his memory. She was always beautiful- but standing there, in his home, with dripping wet hair and a towel that was just a little too small wrapped around her…

Cloud pushed the thought away. They were friends. He made that decision years ago, and he could not change that now.

So, after being out for a little over a week, Cloud went home. When he got there, no one was home. He ambled around from room to room, hoping to see his roommate.

He eventually gave up and went to shower. Nine days worth of dirt and grime washed off him, making him feel relaxed and comfortable. Afterwards he walked around his room, which acted as his office as well, in his lightweight cotton pants; picking up random files and pieces of paper and placing them on his desk.

Cloud decided that since it was a nice day outside he would open up the windows and let the sun shine in. He enjoyed working on his business while the fresh air blew in from the outside. It was also relaxing to hear the hustle and bustle of the city outside- he and Tifa lived a little outside the main part of Edge, so it was not as crazy and loud as city life could be. He enjoyed it.

While working on an invoice for a regular customer and deciding what the best route to take to Junon the next week would be, Cloud heard a low rumble approach. It did not bother him; people rode bikes up and down the street all the time. But then the sound grew louder, went into his driveway, and stopped. 

Cloud's brow furrowed. Did Tifa take Fenrir? She knows not to touch her. Slight annoyance flashed in him. Tifa was always wanting to ride his beloved bike and Cloud had always told her no.

He got up from his desk and huffed over to the window, poking his head out to start yelling at Tifa. He stopped.

Tifa was not on Fenrir.

She also was not alone. Cloud saw a familiar shock of red hair and scowled.

Reno.

Tifa was only talking to the man- joking around it seemed, as she was throwing her head back in

laughter, her long black hair glimmering in the sun. Cloud felt a surge of jealousy rise up in him. The brunette gave Reno a quick hug; he started his bike and began to slowly back out. Tifa waved a little goodbye to him and turned, walking towards the back door.

Cloud heard her move around downstairs and pulled his head back in, moving back to his desk.

He heard her footsteps as she walked up the stairs, coming towards his bedroom.

"Thought I saw you in the window." Tifa smiled and leaned back against his desk. "How did it go? Did you learn anything?"

Cloud leaned back in his chair and looked her up and down, his throat going dry. She was clad in a tight leather jacket, zipped up to just under her breasts. A bright blue t-shirt was peeking out, cut low enough to show a remarkable amount of cleavage. Her blue jeans were also fairly tight, tucked into her black leather boots. She looked great.

"I was told to go to a bakery but I don't know which one. Why were you with Reno?"

"I was on a date."

"First date?"

"Second, actually. I wonder which bakery. Maybe I could ask around at the bar tonight?"

Cloud nodded. "That might help. A second date?"

Tifa smiled. She was nervous, but seemed happy. "Yeah. I wanted to do a normal thing before I helped bring down a drug ring."

"Let me rephrase my question. A date... with him?" Cloud let his disgust show.

“No one else asked.” Tifa murmured to herself, but Cloud caught it. "Reno is not as bad as you might think. I actually had a good time." Tifa defended. Cloud just stared at her, eyebrow cocked upwards. She stood firm. "Honestly. He's safe- now- and I know how to handle myself, Mother Hen."

Cloud stared at her for another moment and Tifa thought she saw a bit of sadness in his eyes. Then he went back to being business-like and turned away from her.

"I might try another neighborhood tomorrow. Mind if I steal your pearls?"

"Yes, as they were my mothers." Tifa replied a little too angrily.

"Do you have anything else I could steal?" Cloud asked. "I promise to get it back to you."

"Why the thieving?"

"Just want something nice to hock. Got anything nice?" He answered curtly.

Suddenly a tiny clink of metal sounded on his desk. He turned to look at what she gave him, and

frowned. Tifa was already out the door, telling him it did not matter if she got it back.

It was the wolf ring he bought her for her birthday.

______________

Vincent Valentine reached the top of the red stone steps, nodding to the guard on duty. He knew he would not be stopped from entering Cosmo Canyon; even though it was a closed community. The small but impressive village was at full capacity and its protector wanted to make sure everyone inside was safe.

Vincent continued to walk up more stairs to the very top of the village. He knocked on the door of the observatory and was greeted with a friendly welcome, telling him to come in. Nanaki was sitting by a window. It was obvious the creature was enjoying the last rays of sunlight from the day.

"Vincent. To what do I owe the pleasure?" Nanaki spoke with authority.

Vincent stood still. "I wish to use the machine. And a place to stay for the night, if I may."

"Of course. Have you had any luck finding Yuffie?" The beast’s voice cracked, showing his youth.

Vincent's eyes grew dark; he did not respond to the question.

Nanaki looked at his friend, sympathy in his one good eye. "I hope she comes home soon. As annoying as I thought she was, she was a good friend and I... I miss her." Nanaki lowered his head, a rather depressing sight. "A young flower should not be held in darkness."

Again, Vincent did not reply. A few more silent minutes passed.

"The machine?" The Gunman asked.

Nanaki stood up and began walking to the lift, his voice dropping back down to a lower register. "Of course."

Vincent stepped on with him and pulled the lever. The lift began its ascent, up into the dome, and the light went dim.

A universe slowly and gently formed around them. Stars twinkled and shot across the sky; planets slowly revolved in their own gravitational pull. Vincent moved toward Gaia; the blue and green of the planet peeking out from underneath the white clouds. His gauntleted hand reached out and touched the planet, and at his touch, the image of the planet grew in size. Landscapes became more visible.

Vincent let his red eyes roam over the planet's surface, letting his mind wonder. He was looking for any place he had not been to before. He was looking for any ideas.

He was looking for Yuffie Kisaragi. It was true what his friend, Nanaki, had said. The young girl was annoying. But, as she grew older and had more life experiences, her immaturity lessened. She grew into a beautiful, smart woman who surprised Vincent with her talent of being caring and kind. She did not deserve to just be gone.

Vincent couldn't handle the pained looks in his friend's eyes anymore. He couldn't handle his own guilt at the loss of the Wutai rose. For months, not bordering a year, the group had searched- following any lead, no matter how ridiculous it sounded. Nothing came from it.

He needed another plan.

"Vincent." A soft voice broke through the man's brooding. "It has been two hours."

The crimson caped man gave no reaction. He only stepped backwards and turned to face his friend. Nanaki was also staring at the planet, his eye focusing on a certain spot. The lion reached out gently and bumped the model of the planet with his nose.

Vincent looked at where Nanaki was pointing at. A dark cloud had settled over Edge.

"Grandpa once said that when dark clouds gather, death is prominent."

Vincent kept his crimson eyes on Edge. "Cloud is looking into it. The new designer drug," he explained, "is lethal."

The two continued to watch the storm clouds over Edge for a few more minutes.

Somewhere on this earth, someone out there needed protection. Someone out there needed help.

Nanaki was glad he was a protector. Him, and his friends. His family.

____________

"I'm sorry."

Tifa jumped at the sudden noise and turned around. She was sitting in her room, going through the photo album on her phone, when her roommate interrupted her. She tossed the phone onto the bed.

Cloud stood in her doorway, not daring to come in yet. "I did not mean to be angry with you."

"

It's alright." Tifa reached her left hand over to grab her right arm, giving the appearance that she wanted comfort but was too afraid to ask. "Everyone gets jealous now and then."

"I had no right to be. And I wasn't- I was just concerned." Cloud said quickly, and Tifa felt a fresh new layer of pain. "You are allowed to do what you want. Everyone has that right. I just want you to be careful."

Cloud stepped into the room. Tifa had nothing to say, yet a million thoughts ran through her head.

Just tell me. Kiss me. You infuriating piece of shit. You were jealous. I would be. I need to get out. He needs to stay. I love you. Please don't look at me.

"Tifa?"

"I'm alright." She blurted out. She let her arm drop. She was angry. She was sad. Her burgundy eyes locked with his electric blue ones.

"If anything bad happens... you'd let me know, right? I want to be there for you."

"I know. I will." Just not in the way I need you to be, right? Maybe I should call Reno and tell him no more dates. Or maybe I should just kiss him, in full view.. That might get me a rise out of Cloud. I can't do that. I'm not that person. My cheeks are burning. Please stop looking at me.

"Tifa?" Cloud asked a second time.

"Yeah?"

Cloud held out his hand. Her wolf ring was clasped in his fingers. He walked closer to her.

"Please. Never take it off again."

Tifa took the ring and slipped it on her finger, nodding.

"Thank you." Cloud said softly. "I'll be gone for a couple of days."

"Okay."

The two locked eyes again. Cloud unconsciously leaned forward a bit. Tifa felt her eyelids lower, and stared at his lips.

Kiss me. Kiss me.

A loud knock sounded downstairs. Tifa's eyes flew open, just in time to see Cloud turn towards the sound and start walking away.

Damn it.

______________

Cloud walked to the door, ashamed of himself. What was he thinking? Tifa deserved so much better than him.

He schooled his face to be blank of emotion as he walked towards the front door. Opening it, he saw who the intruder was- a hunched over homeless man.

"Heya, Son. Invite an old man in."

"The bar is closed." Cloud went to close the door, but the old man had other plans.

"I was actually looking for you, pal. The new face on the street- one whose not so homeless after all."

Cloud opened the door.

"I recognized ya."

"How?" Cloud asked. He thought he had done well with his disguise.

"Your eyes. I'd seen them before. Recognized you from here, back when I could afford ta drink." The man shuffled from foot to foot. "Come on, let me in. I can help you look for this bakery."

<Previous Chapter Next Chapter>

[hi-im-dazey]

I got in a heated debate with my home town over exactly this.

They wanted to make the downtown closed to car and bus traffic, remove the main parking lot and replace it with bike lockers. They posted this on their Facebook town hub thingy.

I pointed out that not everyone could ride a bike, and got answers like

"Well the light rail is just up at the end of town!" (it drops off at the main drag on one end, it does not go through the downtown or connect with any transportation that DOES go down the main drag, mainly because there isn't any public transport down the main drag)

"Well anyone can LEARN to ride a bike!"

"Then you can walk! There won't be any cars to worry about!"

"Have you tried a (tricycle, balance bike, recumbent, electric assist cycle)"

and, in a brilliant display of completely missing the point and simultaneously bringing up another, different, completely valid point, that they also did not understand,

"If you can't afford a bike, you can look for used ones, they are much cheaper." I replied

"Sorry let me clarify, not everyone is physically capable of riding a bike, unless this plan takes into account that some people will NEED to drive or get driven, or need accessibility taken into account for mobility aids, then it's a bad plan. You've lost your hat. Any plan where you lose your hat is a bad plan." Years later (after they did not end up fixing the issues with the plan and just decided to pretend it was never suggested instead) They came up with a new plan to make permanent "parklets" which are these small semi enclosed seating areas along the sidewalk.

To encourage people to gather and eat and hang out so forth.

They post the architect's concept drawings of them. On the Facebook hub. I believe you will be exactly 0% surprised to learn that these parklets are entered by a step DOWN into them and are fixed tables and seating with no way to make room for walkers or wheelchairs, or people who have balance issues or size concerns.

AND to top it off, The were taking up half the existing sidewalk and several storefront (convenient for people who cannot walk long distances) parking spaces all along the district.

So not only can't you use them, but if you use any mobility aid the sidewalk just got 50% more fucked, space-wise, for you to use.

Again I sailed in and pointed all of this shit out. Again they fucking dropped it like they never even mentioned such a thing.

Here's the kicker, they never asked for any suggestions on HOW to fix it. Never posted when the City Council would be hearing from the public, never approached anyone who was pointing these things out (I wasn't alone on the parklet concerns)

All I could think of was this:

One of my best friends, who lived on the second street (I lived on third) had Cerebral Palsy, he walked everywhere with two canes, and every time I see shit like this I thought

"Well how the fuck is my friend supposed to get anything done? There's not going to be enough room for him to get down the street, and I won't be able to get him close enough in the car to drop him where he needs to go."

and

"I guess my mom is SoL, since she has to park close because of her fucked up hip, ankle, and knee, and they are going to do away with blue parking, since they don't want cars there."

and

"When my back eventually gives me the big 'Screw you, hippie." I guess I am no longer welcome in my hometown." (I have a birth defect that will eventually take my mobility)

People planning this shit have no empathy, and no concept of their own fragility.

They can ride a bike now, sure, but will they be able to later? It's like it never occurs to them that people can also BECOME dependent on mobility aids, in addition to being born needing equity assistance.

I'm so tired of the whole "hey when you're designing walkable cities make sure to include disabled people so we can access the town too" gets turned into "are you saying walkable cities are ableist??" Which turns into people calling us a bitch for trying to explain that we currently live in a walkable city but can't leave the house alone because the sideways slope of the sidewalks and deep inclines for the streets make every street crossing a broken bone risk.

I live less than a mile from a carless town square, a library, two grocery stores, a post office, a medical clinic, a mental health crisis center, laundry mats, ice cream shops, book shops, bakeries, restaurants, more than I can even remember. It's amazing and exactly what a lot of you dream of. The street crossings are super safe for pedestrians, people can jog, ride bikes, and push strollers just fine. Except I still can't access any of it safely and anyone using a wheelchair or scooter is in danger. But apparently I'm an oil industry shill and a bitch for pointing that out instead of a disabled person who wants to get groceries or check a book out at the local library a few blocks away.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

So I (finally!) bought a pair of really good noise cancelling headphones, and it has changed my life! It's the fanciest thing I've bought in years, so to recoup some of the cost, I’ve researched & written a little essay based on my experiences with extreme noise sensitivity.

Hypersensitivity to sound is something I’ve dealt with all of my life, but I only recently found out it's medically known a Hyperacusis. (Please note this is a separate condition from Misophonia.) If you consistently struggle to cope with noise, the info below could be helpful! I’m including a link to my ko-fi, and I will be answering questions in the notes.

(skip to the bottom to read fun facts about my tax return and/or street organs vendettas!)

DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional, this is based solely on my experiences as a patient, and on what I have read and been told by professionals. Please notify me if you have corrections or concerns about accuracy!

BACKGROUND: Sensitivity to sound is a common type of sensory issue. While anyone can experience such issues (most people, for example, might be bothered by loud music in a crowded restaurant), some people are more sensitive than others, to the point it becomes a quality-of-life aka a medical issue.

If you consistently struggle with environmental stimuli that other people aren’t bothered by (background noises, bright lights, certain textures and tastes, etc), to the point it causes daily discomfort or limits the environments you can be in, I recommend reading about Sensory Processing Disorder.

SPD and sound sensitivity are both super common in autistic folks (like me!), but allistic (non-autistic) people can experience them too. Weep, ye prisoners of mortal coil, for none are safe, nothing sacred, not in this thy most accursed tomb of human flesh!

Anyway.

SOUND SENSITIVITY or HYPERACUSIS: Noise issues are particularly difficult to navigate in a world that is increasingly...noisy. The relatively new phenomenon of constant overhead music in restaurants, grocery stores, shopping malls etc—all of this means that public spaces are increasingly inaccessible to people with auditory issues.*

As a kid, nothing quite triggered sensory overload/meltdowns for me like the constant exposure to noise I couldn’t control—the background chatter of other kids in the lunchroom, the constant noise in public spaces, being trapped in the car with the radio on.... I had so many fights with my siblings about the car radio, and who got to choose the music.**

But it’s not just loud sounds that are the problem. As an adult who lives alone and works from home***, I’m lucky enough to be able to avoid loud environments most of the time. This does wonders for my general levels of anxiety and discomfort. But even in a mostly controlled environment, I still experience problems. Because part of sound sensitivity is that even normal or quiet sounds can feel loud and intrusive. Here are some “normal” sounds that can cause me discomfort (ranging from annoyance to outright pain, depending on the day):

refrigerator/AC/ceiling lights humming

dishwasher/washing machine noises

ceiling fan making that damn ceiling fan noise

faint sounds of traffic

riding in a car

other people having a normal conversation in the background

someone talking to me in a perfectly normal inside voice

Unfortunately, even in a “controlled” environment, many triggering noises can’t be controlled. And many parts of life can’t be lived in a controlled environment. This presents...some incredibly freaking annoying problems. Luckily there are solutions!

Sorta.

There are sorta some solutions.

They are imperfect, but they help.

TREATMENT: And now I have something rather shame-faced to admit. In all the years of managing my symptoms, it never once occurred to me to see a hearing specialist for my issues with sound. I wasn’t even aware that treatment options exist, because none of my other doctors mentioned it. Instead, I’ve spent years finding my own coping mechanisms and tools, with help from therapists and psychiatrists, but without ever consulting an audiologist/ENT. It was only while researching this post that I found out that was even an option, holy shit.

So it turns out I am going to be making an appointment with my local ENT practice. shit.

Apparently treatment options include sound/acoustic therapy, systematic desensitization/exposure therapy, cognitive behavior therapy, sound machines, and other options that I had no idea even existed, goddammit.

MANAGEMENT: In the meantime, here are my current coping mechanisms. I’ve relied rather heavily on hearing protection, which is very useful when used in moderation. Unfortunately, it can cause its own problems: it’s important not to overuse hearing protection, because in the long-term this can increase your sensitivity. So again: a useful tool, but be careful not to overdo it.

With that in mind, here are some of the coping strategies I’ve used over the last decade to manage my symptoms. This is not a perfect system and you should contact your local ENT clinic for better, long-term solutions, but in the meantime here are some tips I use to just get myself through the damn day:

Regularly spending time in a quiet controlled environment, to allow my nervous system to decompress.

Wearing earplugs, (I use two different grade, depending on the level of noise prevention I need), and always carrying an extra pair in case I need them unexpectedly. I bought a 50 pack for $7 and put spares in all my bags and jacket pockets.

(I mostly use Mack’s Ultra Soft, but there are so many types and materials and brands, including foam, silicone, wax, custom moldable etc. Even if you have trouble wearing things in your ears, you might be able to find something comfortable.)

Similarly: hearing protection earmuffs, the kind used in gun ranges and on construction sites. I bought mine online for $10. they look like normal wireless headphones, so I've never gotten comments when wearing mine in public (other than “cool heaphones” bc i added skull glitter stickers).

Sometimes I wear the earmuffs on top of earplugs, when life is just too damn LOUD.

Listening to music w/ earbuds or headphones is a great way to balance out background noises, especially if you can find soothing playlists that help you concentrate. Also useful to put in just one earbud when you need to pay attention in class/at work.

Pro tip: if your hair is long enough you can wear wireless earbuds without anyone knowing.

White noise, rain noises, ocean noises etc can be helpful! Some people like whale songs although personally this activates my primal fear response

Active noise cancelling headphones: the reason I wrote this post to begin with—I finally bought a pair! As in, a really good pair! As in, a depressingly expensive pair with noise cancelling technology that actually WORKS, holy shit. I probably need to wear them a little less at home (bc overprotection causes problems in the longterm) but they have absolutely transformed my ability to go out in public and i never ever want to take these suckers off again please take a power screwdriver and nail these to my head, bury me in the sweet sweet shroud of silence. holy canoli and cream puffs I want to marry form a civil partnership with these headphones. Plus they have a bunch of features, like being able to control the level of noise cancellation, so I can hold a conversation or be aware of some ambient noise for safety reasons.

Oh, and also they play music I guess?

Sorry sorry I promise this post wasn’t supposed to be me shilling for Big Electronics. I’m just excited, I’m an excited flabby little ball of expired flubber. ANC headphones aren’t a perfect solution, and I still sometimes wear earplugs underneath, and I will always be uncomfortable some of the time, but for me it’s been a big step.

Unfortunately the cost of good quality ANC technology means this isn’t an option for everyone, and the (much cheaper) gunshot protection earmuffs I mentioned earlier still provide an impressive amount of protection and bang-for-your buck (maybe even an equal amount of protection, if you can find ones that fit well). But if noise consistently prevents you from enjoying public space and life in general, and you’ve already tried earmuffs & earplugs and find they don’t offer enough comfort/convenience/protection, and if you’re in a position to save up for a one time non-necessity purchase of $150+, noise cancelling headphones are an option to be aware of. (Please always check the return policy so you can try before you buy. I ended up buying and returning 2 pairs before finding what worked best for me. And please look for a retailer that offers an extended warranty. You want those motherforkers to last).

There are cheaper options available, including some under $50. The ones I tried didn't work as well as my hearing protection earmuffs, but some people report good experiences, so that is something to consider. it's always good to know your options! Passive noise canceling is another affordable alternative.

Medication: A final tool in my toolbox, which for me personally has helped as much as every other method combined. Like, a lot, it’s helped a lot. It turns out some anti-anxiety medications can also help sensory issues. There’s not much research on this, and I only discovered it firsthand when a medication my doctor prescribed for anxiety ended up significantly helping my sensory issues. I no longer need medication for anxiety, but my psychiatrist still prescribes that same medication off-label for my sensory stuff. Ask your psychiatrist to research your options (they will probably have to do some digging to find relevant research, but you deserve to know all your options, even the obscure ones). Fyi, the medication I use is in the benzodiazepines class, but there are other options for those concerned about dependency or side effects.

(I'm also told anti-anxiety supplements may be helpful, though I haven't tried this yet. If you're on prescription meds, always talk to your doctor about contraindications before taking anything over-the-counter.)

So there you have it, my main coping strategies for sound sensitivity! They are not a replacement for medical treatment (except that last one which is in fact...medical treatment), but I find them helpful and I hope some of you will too! I’ve struggled for a long time, and I’m very pleased to have reached the point where I can just do things in public. Eating out in loud restaurants? I can do that now, and even enjoy it, holy shit! I can comfortably travel in cars for hours at a time, and walk around shopping malls and grocery stores with overhead music, and, and —and just exist. It is so so freeing, to feel like maybe, after everything, you are actually allowed to just exist in a world that wasn’t really designed for you.

Again, be careful not to overuse hearing protection—the goal is to allow you to be less uncomfortable and to function better, but if you find you are becoming more sensitive to noise, it is time to dial it back a notch. Or maybe consider listening to music (at a reasonable volume) to block out background noise instead.

*(This also includes people with hearing loss and related issues, btw. While that’s not my area of knowledge, I would welcome it if any of my HoH followers want to share their experiences.)

**A sign of sensory issues that parents often miss is when a child complains about music being too loud—but has no problem listening to their own music at high volume. This is because music that is already familiar to the listener (and that the listener enjoys) is much easier for the brain to process, since it knows what pattern of sounds to expect. Loud music that they get to control can be soothing for people with sound issues, especially when it blocks out background noise and sensations. This is why repetitively playing the same songs can be a helpful form of stimming.

***(working on this blog, actually. since it’s my only source of income, my 2020 income tax return literally lists my occupation as ‘Tumblr Blogger.’ Oddly, my parent didn’t feel this achievement was worth including in the holiday family newsletter.)

bonus fun fact: Charles Babbage aka “father of the computer” may have been autistic and hypersensitive to sound. He definitely had a huge problem with public noise pollution, and spent his later year waging a war on street musicians (and organ grinders in particular).

(bc like, yeah. screw organ grinders.)

Sometimes when I’m out in public and the overhead music is particularly unbearable, I’ll take a moment to look up to the sky and scream out: “HE TRIED TO WARN US! THE FATHER OF COMPUTERS TRIED TO WARN US!!! we should have listened, sweet heaven we should have listened!”

except i don’t scream it, i say it very quietly under my breath

(i have issues with noise)

so yeah that is my short essay. and here is the ko-fi goal

k ciao i gotta go pick out glitter stickers for my headphones

[imaginary-party-crasher]

Everything that today is acceptable as a landscape for us is the fruit of bloody violence and conflicts of a rare brutality.

That could be thought of as a summary of what the democratic government wants to make us forget. Forget that the suburbs have devoured the countryside; forget that the factories have devoured the suburbs, that the deafening, restless, sprawling metropolis has devoured everything.

Acknowledging this doesn’t necessarily mean feeling sorry about it. Acknowledging it means grasping its possibilities, both in the past and the present. The sectioned-off, policed territory where our everyday life takes place, between the supermarket and the digital code for the downstairs door, between the traffic lights and crosswalks, comprises us. We are inhabited by the space we live in. And this is all the more so now that everything in it, or almost everything in it, operates like a subliminal message. We don’t do certain things in certain places, because such things just aren’t done.

Urban furniture, for example, is almost completely useless –haven’t you ever asked yourself who could possibly sit on the benches in one of today’s urban neo-squares without succumbing to the most violent despair? There’s just one meaning, one function: and that meaning and function are totally prohibitive:

“you’re only at home when you’re at home, or wherever you’ve paid to be, or wherever you are under surveillance,” it reminds us, as if it were its sole purpose to do so.

The world is getting globalized, but it’s shrinking.

The physical landscape we pass through every day at high speeds (in cars, in public transport, on foot, in a rush) basically has such an unreal character to it because in it no one experiences anything at all, and in it nothing can live. It is a kind of micro-desert where we’re like exiles, moving about between one piece of private property and the other, between one obligation and another.

The virtual landscape, on the other hand, looks much more appealing. The liquid crystal computer screen; Internet navigation; the televised or playstation universes — these are infinitely more familiar to us than the streets of our own neighborhoods are, peopled in the evenings by the lunar light of the street lamps and the metal curtains and gates on the closed stores.

The opposite of the local isn’t the global; it’s the virtual.

The global is indeed so not opposed to the local that the global in fact produces the local. The global only refers to a certain distribution of differences based on a norm that homogenizes them all. Folklore is the effect of cosmopolitanism. If we don’t know the local as something truly local, it ends up being a little mini global whole. The local appears to the extent that the global makes itself possible and necessary. Going to work, going shopping, traveling far away from home; that’s what makes the local something truly local; otherwise it would be – much more modestly – merely the place you live in.

Furthermore, we don’t really live anywhere at all, properly speaking. Our existence is merely divided up into sectors delimited by topological and time-schedule lines, into little slices of personalized life. But that’s not all; PEOPLE would now also like to make us live in the virtual — to have us definitively deported. There, life will be reconstituted, into a curious unity of non-time and non-place, as the life PEOPLE wish us to have; a Virtual Life, which, an ad for the Internet says, is “a place where you can do everything that you can’t do in real life.” But there, where “everything is permissible,” the mechanism of the passage from potential to acts is under total surveillance. In other words:

the virtual world is the place where possibilities never become real, but remain indefinitely in a state of virtuality.

Here prevention wins out over intervention: although everything is possible in the virtual world, that’s only because the apparatus itself ensures that everything will remain unchanged in our real lives.

Soon, PEOPLE say, we’ll be tele-commuting (tele-working) and tele-consuming. In this “tele-life,” we will no longer be afflicted by the painful feeling we had in public space that our possibilities were being aborted, every time eyes would meet and then turn so quickly away. The annoyance of being immersed among our contemporaries, who most often are strangers to us – in the streets or elsewhere – will be abolished. The local, expelled from the global, will itself be projected into the virtual, so as to make us believe, once and for all, that nothing but the global exists. To make the pill easier to swallow, it will be necessary to drape that uniformity in multi-ethnic and multi-cultural trappings.

While waiting for the advent of tele-life, we suggest the hypothesis that our bodies, in space, have a political meaning, and that domination constantly works to hide it. Shouting a slogan at home isn’t the same as shouting it out in a stairwell or out in the street. Doing it alone isn’t the same as doing it with a number of people, and so on and so forth.

Space is political and space is living, because space is inhabited; it is inhabited by our bodies, which transform it by the simple fact that they are contained within it. And that’s why it is put under surveillance, and why it is closed off. The idea of space that represents it as something empty that is then filled up with objects, bodies, and things is a false one.

On the contrary, that is just the idea of space obtained by mentally removing from a given concrete space all the objects, bodies, and things that inhabit it. Power as it is today has certainly materialized this idea in its esplanades, its highways, and in its architecture. But it is constantly being threatened by its original defect. When something takes place in a space controlled by the global order, when part of that space actually becomes a place, due to an event arising there, an unexpected turn has occurred, and the global order wants nothing more than to suppress that kind of thing. Against this, it has invented the “local,” in the sense that it continually adjusts all its control, data capture, and management devices to fit each particular location.

That’s why I say that the local is political: because it is the place where the present confrontation occurs.

[cursingtoji]

Royals

Pairing: Gojo x Roality/Sorcerer!Reader

Summary: Yuji was told by his sensei that someone very special was coming to evaluate his new cursed energy.

Warning: fem pronouns, slightly suggestive, hickeys, established relationship.

a/n: naruto's anbu uniform is what i based reader's outfit off, so keep that in mind i guess? i apologize if i forgot some tag in the warnings, feel free to point anything out to me. thank u and enjoy <3

“How pontual” Gojo smiled when he felt your presence on the top of the building he was standing along with Yuji.

“Huh?” Yuji looked around confused till he saw a black silhouette behind him.

“Hope you don’t mind Yuji-kun, I wanted a professional opinion and called a friend”.

“Are you sure this is the best place to do this Gojo?” You asked going around the boy with pink hair staring at his figure and sensing his cursed energy.

The building you agreed to meet him was one of the tallest in Tokyo, you could barely see the people on the streets from here.

“Sensei, is your friend a ninja?” Yuji asked, staring back at your figure, your black outfit left no skin to be shown while the kitsune mask covered your whole face and two swords remained crossed at your back.

“You worry too much Princess, don’t you believe I am the strongest?” You frown upon the use of the pet name. Yuji tilted his head to the side.

“I just don’t want things to go out of control” you moved your hands to remove the kitsune mask, your identity would still be protected by the mask that covered your nose and mouth beneath it, but Gojo stopped your hands as soon as you approached him.

“Keep it on until we finish okay?” He smiled, although he did not say anything else this was enough for you to understand he did not want the curse inside Yuji to cross eyes with you. “I’ll explain later, Yuji, now can you give us ten seconds with Sukuna?” Gojo stretched his arms preparing for a quick battle.

You moved to the corner of the building to give him space but still keeping an eye on the pink haired kid.

He was so young...

Black marks soon appeared on the kid’s body and the new cursed energy overwhelmed you making a shiver run up your spine.

As the heir of a clan that for centuries has the ability to control cursed energy, this scared you.

Sukuna’s energy was enough to destroy a big city like Tokyo as easily as a snap of a finger. In the past your clan helped Sukuna by increasing his cursed energy during battles but in the end, your clan also helped destroy Sukuna by suppressing his cursed energy as much as they could. Gojo asked you to come watch a quick demonstration, if the plan succeeded and Yuji managed to live long enough to eat all Sukuna’s fingers, it would be just a matter of time until the king of curses took control of the vessel and attempted some kind of mass destruction. If the time comes you wanted to be able to perform the same act that your clan did in the past.

Although, since Sukuna’s downfall your clan did not act as sorcerers anymore, instead they turned into rulers and politicians, living in big cities as Tokyo and controlling cursed energy just by existing there, a natural balance to the modern world, they would tell you, but none of this changed your mind when you decided to break the chain and become a sorcerer almost ten years ago.

The fight started when Sukuna ran towards Gojo murmuring something about seeing him again. Gojo controlled the situation fast by immobilizing Sukuna on the floor, far enough to not harm you.

“So?” Gojo asked, looking at your direction.

“You asked me to not do anything so I can’t say for sure, but I think it’s possible” you answered the white haired man.

Sukuna’s attention now was brought to you, he tried to read your cursed energy, you sensed that, but with the kitsune mask covering your face and eyes you doubt he recognized you as part of the clan that caused his downfall one thousand years ago.

Gojo again smiled at you, proud of you being able to take such a fast reading without messing with Sukuna’s energy, which he asked you to not do.

It would be better for everyone if Sukuna doesn’t make a target of you so soon.

“Alright, guess we are done for now” Gojo raised as soon as Yuji took back control of his body. You watched amazed as the cursed energy came back to a normal level.

Gojo asked Ijichi to drive Yuji back to the school and promised to talk to Yuji in the morning.

“I don’t know, Satoru. There’s only so much I can do alone, and I’m sure the rest of my clan won’t get involved with Sukuna if he returns. This is a huge responsibility for me...” you stopped talking, not even wanting to consider the possibility of such a powerful curse having complete control to do whatever he pleases and you not being able to do much by yourself.

“I won’t put you in danger, but for now it would be good if you could stick around Yuji, just to observe... I can put a good word for you with Yaga” Gojo dropped his arm around your shoulder playfully.

“You really want me to stay at jujutsu tech Tokyo just to keep an eye on him?” You removed the kitsune mask, now allowing Gojo to see your teasing eyes.

“I have my own selfish reasons too”.

The next morning Yuji crossed his path with Nanami around the school, having worked together once Yuji felt comfortable with asking Nanami about his sensei’s friend.

“Oi Nanami, do you know Gojo-sensei’s ninja friend? I met them last night but still don’t know what happened”.

Nanami stared at Yuji like he was speaking some foreign language “...Ninja?”

The elder was about to ask him to elaborate when the said sensei turned around the corner with you by his side.

“Gojo-san, Ojou-sama” Nanami bowed low when he noticed you coming closer.

“Ojou-sama?” Yuji looked at the person walking to them alongside Gojo. He did not recognize you at first, you now were using a colored Yukata and nothing covering your face.

“Nanami please, you know me long enough to drop this title” you smiled at your friend.

Yuji quickly made the connection between Nanami using the princess title and Gojo calling you Princess yesterday.

“Oh sensei, I didn’t know you had a girlfriend. You two make a beautiful couple” Yuji smiled.

“Itadori, show respect, Y/n-sama is an actual royal” Nanami whispered to Yuji.

After the downfall of Sukuna your clan reigned for a while, being the heir of the main clan branch and if your clan was still reigning that would technically make you a princess. Nanami insisted on referring to you as Ojou-sama in public even though you two attended school together years ago and long passed the formal titles.

“Sorry” Yuji bowed, still confused.

“It’s okay Itadori-kun, we will have enough time to get to know each other” you assured the pink haired boy.

“You are moving here?” Nanami asked.

“Isn’t it great?” Gojo smiled widely, now placing his arms on your shoulders and Nanami’s. “It will be like old times again”.

“Yaga accepted my request to stay on the campus and assist the kids,” you explained Nanami. Of course he knew that by ‘the kids’ you mean Itadori and his new found cursed energy.

“What a great set of teachers you will have Yuji-kun” Gojo tight his grip around you and Nanami “Why don’t you go find Fushiguro and Kugusaki while I show y/n her room?”.

“Yes, sensei!” Yuji smiled and bowed again before leaving to find his team mates.

“Let’s keep y/n secret between us, okay Nanami?” Gojo asked now that the three of you were alone. “Sukuna might not find out about y/n’s origins if she doesn’t mess with his or Itadori’s energy, the elders agreed to keep her around for now as protection”.

“I see… Well let me know if you need anything, Ojou-sama” Namami replied and fixed his tie.

“I need you to stop using that title, Kento” you smiled again at your stubborn friend and dropped Gojo’s arm from your shoulder going back to the path that led to your dorm.

“Always so polite, Nanamin” Gojo teased “Just don’t forget I’m the only one allowed to get on my knees for her” he released Nanami’s shoulder leaving his fellow sorcerer flushed.

“What did you tell him?” you asked Gojo when he got back to your side.

“Nothing he doesn’t know already” his large palm touched your lower back.

Your arrangements with Gojo were something known only by the heads of your clan, the two of you and few close friends. A promise made almost ten years ago allowed you to attend jujutsu tech and become a sorcerer if the only descendant of the Gojo clan married you by the time both of you got to your thirties. There was nothing in it for Satoru, but he agreed even though he barely left his teenage years.

“Satoru, What are we gonna do now?” you asked looking at your feet.

“We can start by getting you a pretty uniform, maybe a short skirt and a v-line” the hand that wasn’t at your back moved to the collar of your Yukata exposing more of your neck and collar bones and all the purple and blue marks painted there “A masterpiece like that has to be shown”.

“You are shameless” you slapped his hand away and adjusted your Yukata back. His flirty personality taking your mind away from the new responsibility of being Yuji’s guardian. “You know, we are two years away from the arrangements and I still wonder why you accepted it” you confessed, stopping in your tracks.

“Oh Princess, I’ll always be taking the side of rebel soul and you so happened to be the one that stole my heart from day one, you are not getting cold feet now, are ya?” he leaned and placed his arm on the wall behind you, an old habit that made you flushed when you two were younger, but now you can only bite your lips and raise a hand to lower his blindfold and meet his shining eyes full of admiration.

“Marrying the prince that saved me and the strongest jujutsu sorcerer? How could I get scared of that?”.

“Prince huh? I can get used to it”.

© all content belongs to cursedmoonchild. please do not modify or repost; if you find reposted content please let me know, i have not consented to the repost of my content

[ofshivelight]

sorry. apparently i'm still not over this

he implied that jewish students on college campuses reporting antisemitic hate crimes, sharing their experiences with harassment from pro-palestinian rallies, and generally feeling unsafe in a lot of leftist spaces now due to unchecked antisemitic rhetoric are all part of a propaganda campaign by the government. which i shouldn't have to explain is just the trope that jews control the media. and then trying to say that jewish voice for peace is a reliable source of antizionist judaism -- i'm sorry, you have to be fucking joking.

and it's literally just not true to say that the antisemitism in these protests is opportunistic / one-off incidents of a radical minority and not baked into a LOT of popular talking points about i/p from leftists. it's not a one-off incident for dozens of protests all across the country to chant "globalize the intifada". it's not a one-off that synagogues are receiving bomb threats & getting vandalized while jews are attacked in the streets or labeled "agitators" for existing in public near pro-pal protests. none of this would be happening if these protests were "just peaceful". and notice that i haven't even made any statements about israel. i support palestinian liberation. what i don't fucking understand is how it's so difficult for people to advocate for palestinian dignity AND NOT BE ANTISEMITIC ABOUT IT.

i'm just really struggling with this because i really love this person with my whole soul, and when i pushed him to explain himself he just backed down and said he didn't want to argue. well i don't either, but now i know you think my lived experience with antisemitism is propaganda, even if you say you weren't trying to delegitimize my feelings. how am i supposed to just... behave normally around you knowing that you won't even recant any of what you said.

just had my closest friend in the world say he was "unconvinced" by the pervasiveness of antisemitism in pro-palestinian spaces and that he thinks it's "not rampant but sensationalized". not sure how to cope with this one folks!

[lemonjoonah]

Blood Bounty - Part 3 (M) - Finale

Pairings: Yoongi x Reader, Taehyung x Reader, ft. Seokjin x Namjoon Word Count: 15.5K Rating: M Genre: Historical fantasy AU, Vampire AU, Thriller, Drama, Smut Warnings (CONTAINS SPOILERS): Dub-con (consent is freely given but the context is dubious), non-con vampire feeding, non-con kiss, unprotected sex, light bondage, oral sex (f. rec.), cum eating, pain during intercourse (don’t be like the OC here in the beginning and try to conceal it, you should tell your partner if something hurts), somewhat antiquated thoughts on virginity, virgin reader (it’s a flashback and there’s a small amount of blood...), death of major and minor characters, drugging (with vampire blood), murder, violence, blood, gore, sexism, blood slavery, kidnapping, captivity, forced marriage, manipulation, gaslighting, once again it’s some pretty dark shit, consider yourself warned.     

| Series Masterlist |

Summary: He’s taken everything from you, your blood, your memories, your life, and after months spent as Taehyung’s own personal feast, you eagerly take your chance to flee. Unfortunately your escape doesn’t go as well as you had hoped, as you are soon caught by another blood thirsty beast. The vampire Yoongi claims to know you, and that he wishes to return you home. But when you can only remember the pain caused by his kind, you find it difficult to trust him, since he too could just be another monster waiting to feed.

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who stuck with me through this mini-series. I truly hope you enjoy the end of this tale (and the hints to another separate series in the works 😉).

...

Your new stead is surprisingly responsive to your commands, possibly desiring to get as far away from the predators as you. Taking you down the road to the kingdom at a startling pace, causing several branches to whip painfully in your direction. When a stinging blow inevitably lands on your brow, enough to draw a spot of blood, you pull back on the speed of your mount. You are not so far now that you worry about making it back before nightfall.   

The route home becomes more populated the closer you get. For the first time in years you are among people like you again. Those who see you as just another person passing by, not a temping entree, nor a traveller to rob. Some even nod to you as they cross your path, you respond in kind, but keep your face hidden beneath the hood of your cloak.

Your first few paces inside the town comes as quite a shock. The notable gathering spots are even more vacant than they were during your nighttime strolls. With the stalls of the market bare, and so many businesses closed,  the only well occupied space appears to be the mounted boards on the end of every other street. You stop at one littered with official orders for curfews, new regulations, and missing souls. The most notable of all to you is the obituary detailing your brothers passing. 

You swallow back your grief, and proceed to examine the document claiming that he had died of a devastating injury and no more. It seems your parents will still not admit to any weakness that might carry in the family's blood. But with each stamped flyer, there’s been an addition made, one that was obviously not approved by the crown. 

‘The crown prince is dead, and our princess lost. If we let them rule any longer we will be next!’

You are stunned by the note, fearing how bad the circumstances must have become in your absence. Backing away from the board you prod your stead onward and in the direction of the public stables. Hoping to find the mount it’s own new home, while you return to yours.

“Three pence for a night,” The master grunts, looking up from his work as you dismount near the entrance to the paddock. 

“I have no coin, but-”

“No coin, no stall. Don’t waste my time and move along.” He interrupts before returning to shovelling the pungent manure.

You wrinkle your nose at the odour and persist in your efforts. “I was going to offer for you to take ownership of him instead. I have no use for him now.”

“Keep him? Tell me, how did you come to own this stead? Is it truly yours? ” He leers down, placing you beneath his scrutinous glare. “People don’t just give up a worthy horse. How can I know that there is not someone out there who will come looking for it and will blame me for their loss?”

“I can assure you the last owner will not come to retrieve him. Now do you want the horse or should I go find another who is willing to take my offer? Maybe that nice family there.” You point to a couple making their way into a nearby building. 

Your bluff calls his, leading the man to grimace and huff, “Fine. I will take it, now be gone with you.”

With the horse now tended to, you start to walk away, passing the entrance to the tavern, the door the mentioned pair just walked into. It’s hard not to take note of its current occupancy, for it is packed with people, all shouting and trying to have their say. With the entryway cracked open an inch you are able to catch several snippets of the debate.

“We can’t wait any longer. They are changing the narrative as we speak! Now stating they hold out hope for the princess’s return.”

“And what if she does?” A familiar man stands in argument. “Would you have us send the kingdom into turmoil when hope still exists? I would not be as I stand before you today without the surgeon she sent to us. A blacksmith cannot work without a hand. My wife and I would have been out on the street before long.” 

“Can you not see what they are doing for what it is?” The first speaks again to counter his point. “It’s a convenient ploy! With an heir lost, only the promise of another, with more favour than them will quell our anger. If she was still alive they would have found her by now.” He pauses to pat the smith on the shoulder. “I mourn her loss too my good friend, but we can’t wait for a small sliver of hope when we continue to live the way we do. Taxed within an inch of our livelihoods, while the list of missing continues to grow and those who are in charge hide behind their walls, keeping secrets that affect us all. If she returns we can offer her a good standing among us. But their rule must end.”

You edge closer and closer to the door trying to get a better view of the meeting in progress, when a throat clears and grunts, “Run along lad...” Nearly jumping from the fright you turn around to find the stable master having come up from behind. Bowing your head you comply, thankful that he had not realized the gravity of what you overheard. 

What had truly happened in the time you were gone? This isn’t just contempt but a full blown revolution building. Your people think you dead, and understandably so, but if they see that you are alive and well, maybe a better path can be found than one that will surely end in blood.

When considering your options you know there will be no way in through the front gates, your parents have always kept them heavily guarded, and no one will believe you are the child of the king and queen dressed as you are now. Rather than stir up trouble, you proceed to your fastest route in, the trap door hidden on the perimeter. 

In your absence it appears to have remained unused. The roots of the hedge have grown over, needing to be tugged out of place until the hinges and wood are freed from their grasp. You drop down into the passage, closing the hatch behind. With no light, nor lantern you are left to navigate the abandoned hall in the dark. The palm of your hand brushes against the damp stone wall, crossing cobwebs and critters on it’s trek to lead you to the portrait door. You try your best not to think of the time spent in this place, and the company you are now left without, but the sound of your steps resonates around you. Tricking your ear into thinking it a whisper of the past, as if his promises still remain locked away down here, echoing off the bedrock for you to claim.  

You are grateful when you finally reach the castle's interior, although for the time of day even the palace appears deserted and cold, you slip about the halls feeling like a stranger in your own home. Hoping to return to your old bedroom before you find anyone else, so you can at least reclaim another part of what you once were. But when you find the door and step inside someone is already there, crying at the foot of your bed. It’s too late to back away for they look up, just as startled as you. It’s your former lady’s maid who steps back from shock at your appearance, followed by a baffled stare when she catches a glimpse of your face.

“My word...” She gasps as tears continue to roll down her cheeks, “I never thought I’d see you again. He brought you back, I can’t believe he brought you back.” She runs forward wrapping her arms around you, a blubbering speech follows. “I’m so sorry, your b-brother... he’s gone. After everything that happened, everything you did, he’s still gone. An-and the threats to the crown, ever since his death everyone has been in an uproar. I haven’t dared to leave the grounds out of fear that someone will know I work here.” “It’ll be okay. We will figure this out.” You attempt to calm the maid you can only remember fragments of. She must have thought you had run off with Yoongi that night, but now is not the time to correct her with actual horrors you endured. 

“Having you back now will surely pull the king and queen from their stupor. They have been pleading and praying for your return.” She looks down at your clothes with apprehension. “Court is in session right now. They are locked away until a matter is settled, but we can ready you to meet with them once they are finished.” You nod prompting her to seek out your wardrobe. “I’ve been keeping them well looked after in case of your return.” She pulls out a dark dress, a sign of mourning for your brother. “I believe this will still fit. You don’t look to have changed much.” 

As she laces you in you can feel the garment tug on your ribs and chest. Maybe a little too small, but it will have to do for the time being. Once finished she escorts you to the dining room, while you continue to marvel at the empty halls. “Where is everyone?”

“Much has changed... your parents' fears have grown in the time you’ve been gone. They feel they can trust far fewer than they have before, and so, many of the staff were let go. If anyone ever even asked about you they too were sent away.” She stops at the set of double doors and urges you inside. “If you remain here and I will go and have the King and Queen informed as soon as the proceedings let out.” 

“Wait, don’t leave...” You were going to ask her more questions to address the gaps in your past, hoping you might stir more than a few moments you have of her and your life here, but she has already closed the door and departed. 

You are left in the dining hall, waiting only with the excessive spread of your parents forthcoming dinner. The feel of the room compared to the passage below is unfamiliar, unlike the dark narrow tunnel this place is void of memory and the feelings that come with it. You pray that such a disconnect will not last long. 

Mounted up on the back wall you find your family’s portrait. Staring at it at the faces and details, you remain so until slivers of the painting's creation surfaces in your mind. You hated that gown, for its rigid seams and heavy fabric took quite a toll as you stood there for hours behind your brother. He was seated due to his condition but you were told to stand and remain still, while the prince takes the forefront of the picture.

It had been made not long before you disappeared from the kingdom. You can recall dwelling on how little blood you had left, while the painter took your likeness. Your parents look so happy in the portrait, thinking their son to be healing and ready to take on the throne, while you spent the whole time daydreaming of Yoongi’s return.

Your anger spikes as you think of him now, it is beyond doubt that he has noticed your absence. You will have to warn your parents and their guard of his possible travel to the kingdom to claim you for his clan. The secret passage will have to be sealed, taking with it your hopes to ever leave again.

Grabbing one of the many decanters and with a shaking hand pour yourself a goblet of wine. Seeking to soothe your trepidation of meeting your parents, you sip on the bitter drink while picking at the food of the central spread.

The hours pass while you take your fill, until finally, when the sky has long been dark your mother hurries first. Looking exactly the same as she once did in your memories, frantic and worried. “Thank heavens you are back. You are safe, we are safe.” She looks down at you, her face unchanged with time, and the skin of the arms which clutch you... you stare at them for a moment, perfect and untouched, but you remember... you recall deep gashes and blood, so much blood pouring down your fingers. Disturbed by the thought you shake yourself from your horrific vision and smile back at her. Expecting her to launch into a flurry of questions but to your surprise, both her and your father pose no queries. 

“We knew he would find you again,” your mother cries with happiness. “We knew he would bring you back. The people, they will be so thrilled to hear of your return. The threats, the violence it will all be over soon.”

“You knew him? You asked him to find me?” The facts of her statement confuse you greatly, had they been privy to information your maid had not? For if she thought you were with him... what did your parents believe?

“My dear, are you well? Of course we did.” Your gaze once again focuses on the flesh of her forearms, as if entranced to the spot, while she brushes at your unkempt hair. Upon following your sight she pulls at the shawl of her dress in an awkward fashion, covering the length of her exposed skin. “Think not of what happened at our parting. All is well.” A painted grin plasters your mother's face. “We made all the changes necessary, you my darling, are to be next in line, not your children, but you. Your father had to work so hard to gain the approval of his lords, they thought it pointless to change the law in your absence, but here you are! Once your consort holds up the rest of his bargain your father will sign and you will be heir to the throne.”

This is all too much, you trying to keep hold of all the information while more is poured on to you. Unable to focus on anything other than their knowledge of Yoongi. Did they really meet him and make the request of him to bring you home? But to what bargain are they referring? “He did but I fear his clan has plans to remove me once again. We have to guard the old passage too, it’s already been nightfall for some time and I fear he won’t be far behind.”

“My poor girl... are you sure you are not ill?” Your mother’s head tilts in confusion. “He is already here, he has been for some time... you fled from his estate when he was just about to send for your return.”

You step away from your parents as fear tightens and grips your chest. “No, you can not mean. Not him, please not him-”

But your greatest nightmare returns to join you, with Taehyung waltzing through the double doors as if your parents castle is his own. “Princess, so good of you to join us. You shouldn’t have run off like that, you had your parents worried.” He approaches, inciting you to back into a wall in an attempt to keep your distance. Your parents don’t react with shock or fear at his sudden advancement on you, surely it is just a dream or vision then? One you are bound to wake up from soon. “But I knew you couldn’t run from me... only towards. Isn’t that right my sweet princess?” Though when his breath comes to find your ear you know him to be real. “I would have gone to find you myself, and take you back sooner, but your parents have been a rather large thorn in my side. Refusing to let me go until I-”

“And what of the other part of our bargain?” Your father calls from behind Taehyung, who grimaces and rolls his eyes at the interruption.

“They will be here shortly. My kin are acting on my behalf tonight, for I could wait no longer when I heard news of her arrival.”

“You have short changed us before,” the king admonishes. “I will not sign until I am certain the problem is dealt with.”

Taehyung turns from you entirely, the accusation leading him to snap back in anger. “That was your own doing, not mine, human. I gave you what you asked and you chose to squander it.” 

With Taehyung now focused on your father, you are ready to run, to seek anything you might use against him, but your mother catches you before you can take two steps. 

Shouting and jeering can be heard from just outside of the room, along with the heavy footfalls of several men, far too loud for what should be expected of the staff and guard. The procession outside bursts into the dinning hall. Your father’s lip curls ever so slightly as several men are pushed to their knees in front of him, muzzled and chained by the vampiric clan that restrains them. 

Taehyung introduces them with a proud and theatrical air, as he takes a seat at the head of the table.  “As you requested my liege, the leaders of the now failed rebellion.” 

You recognize many of them from the tavern earlier, even the blacksmith whose hand Yoongi saved long ago. Your father after taking stock, waves them away, ordering them to be held out of his sight, until a public execution can be arranged. 

You open your mouth to argue and condemn such brutal tactics when you are pushed down in the chair beside the monstrous vampire by your own mother. “You will sit still, be quiet, and do your duty for the family.” Despite her insistence your nails claw at her hold trying to free yourself from his side. As blood breaches her skin, so too does the memory of your first meeting with the vampire lord.

...

-Five years ago-

You look through the streets for hours hoping to catch even a glimpse or a whisper of Yoongi. Asking several people who pass you by, but no one knows of his whereabouts, nor has seen the distinguished surgeon in months. 

With the sun ready to rise, you retire from town for the night. Stripping from the simple dress, you toss it to the side and return to bed for the hour you have left to sleep. When forced awake by duty, your day ultimately passes with you a hollow shell. Barely able to keep your eyes open from lack of rest, with a gnawing disappointment taking root in your stomach, distracting you from much else. You tell your maid of your plans to venture out again to find him, but she looks concerned by the prospect. 

“You can hardly stand! What if, as a result of your current state, you cannot find him tonight? Your brother needs this and if you should fail... maybe we should tell the king and queen and let them put out a search for him?” 

“No, I must do this on my own. He would not want them to be aware of his kind.” You go to take the plain gown but your maid grabs it first. 

“I understand that you feel you must go. But please take an hour or two to sleep before you journey out. You look dead on your feet.” She does not relent, prodding and scolding until you are between the covers of your bed. “I will wake you once the castle is quiet enough for you to leave without being spotted.”

Nodding in agreement you submit to the coma of slumber rather quickly while she sits in the seat across from your bed. You wake hours later not by the hand of your staff, but from the hammering of rain pelting at your window.

You rise and call out, confused as to why she did not wake you earlier, but no answer responds. Lighting the candle on your bedside you find the chair empty of both her and the dress. You jump from your bed, in only your dressing gown and slippers reach for the door. When she bursts through it first, wearing the dress you intended to wear on the street. 

“Where were you? Why didn’t you-” 

“Princess, I found him!” Your lady’s maid exclaims happily, despite being absolutely drenched from the weather outside. “I went in your place so you could have more time to rest, and I found your friend, or I should say he found me.”

“You found him?” You breathe a sigh of relief, your brother is now safe and your plans with Yoongi can come to fruition. “Where is he now?”

“He’s with the king and queen.”

“My parents?”

“He wished to see them, mentioned something about desiring their permission. He’s already healed your brother, your mother and father couldn’t believe it.”  She grabs hold of your hand and pulls you from the room, not caring that you don only your bed attire. “Come! They are waiting for you.”

Still half asleep and only semi-coherent you allow yourself to be ushered along to your father’s den. There he sits behind a desk quill pen in hand, your mother hanging over his shoulder, and settled across from them both is... someone who is not your vampire, someone who is not Yoongi. 

The stranger smiles, showing off his sharp teeth as he gets up from his seat to deliver a sweeping bow. “Lord Kim Taehyung, at your service princess.”

You take a step back upon hearing the name that Yoongi warned you of so many times. “W-why are you here?” With concern immediately drifting to your lost vampire, for if his enemy has found you what could have befallen him.

Your mother scolds your response, “This man has offered his assistance, to aid in your brother's care, you will show him your respect.”

“It’s no matter,” Taehyung shakes his head at your mother. “Though I must ask, why do you look so scared princess? Your maid was looking for one of my kind, were you not seeking my help?”

“Is this true?” Your mother interjects, glaring at you. “You knew of people like him, those who could help your brother and you told us nothing?”

“I was looking for another,” you attempt to explain. “One who had been helping us in the past without your knowledge, he forbade me from revealing his kind to you.” 

“What did this other tell you of me?” The lord smiles. “I should like to set my story straight, because you, princess, looked ready to flee the moment you heard my name.”

“What is it that you want?” You ask again. If he refuses to answer your question why should you obey his own. “I thought your kind did not wish to reveal their existence to humans.”

“When the situation is as important as this, exceptions can be made.” The vampire justifies, a crooked grin refusing to leave his mouth. “I am only here to offer my services to your family.”

“We already have the services of another. He was doing so for years before you came here, he will help my brother should he need it in the future.”

“Then where is he now?” Taehyung asks the dreaded question which stabs at your heart.

“He will be back...” You retort, hoping it to be the honest truth. “We do not require your help.” 

Your father silences you with the stern call of your name and the hammer of his fist on his desk, before he too jumps into the argument. “I will overlook the concealment of your past acquaintances, along with the fact that you gave your brother treatment without our knowledge and consent. But I will not have you demean this man who just saved his life.”

“He is not a man!” You shout back at your king and father. “He is a monster. I have been told of his misdeeds, of his ethics. We can not trust him-”

“We have no choice! Without an heir the whole kingdom will become a place of ruin, an unclear line of descent will lead to chaos.”

“Then we wait. We wait for the one I can trust. He will be back soon, I know it.” Certain at least in this instance you know better than your parents, you plead for them both to listen.

“This is not a discussion.” Your father clarifies while the vampire takes out a bag, pulling from it two large corked bottles filled with a fluid far thicker than wine. “We called you here merely to inform you that we have accepted his services.” 

“This should be enough to keep him healthy for a long span of human life. It will heal most ailments, and injuries, and when enough is consumed will even slow the course of ageing.” You watch as the vampire's attention falls on your mother during his explanation, his lip curls even further when her eyes brighten in interest over the properties of the cure. 

You go to her, grabbing her arms so that she will focus on you alone, trying to convince her of the vampire's true nature. “This is a trick it must be. You can’t accept this, he will bring only ruin.”

“All that remains is the payment.” The Lord Taehyung adds, ignoring your plight.

Your gaze snaps back to him, when you hear of his charge. “What payment? What did you ask of them?”

“The cost for such a bounty of blood requires an equal sacrifice on your family's part.” The vampire beams with delight. “The blood needed for his life, in exchange for the blood of yours.” 

Your stomach drops when you see your father dip his head in confirmation. They already knew the cost and still they bartered you off without much thought. Your hands continue to grip your mother’s arm. “Please... please listen to me. It doesn’t have to be like this. There’s another way, there has to be.”

“There is no other way.” She responds, her tone cold enough to match her words. “It is time you stop living in your dreams dear girl, those books you cling to, those maps you draw, they will bring us nothing in the end. You have scorned numerous suitors in the past few months alone, leaving your father and I at wits’ end trying to secure a noble future for you. If you will not have that duty, you will take this. Better to have your hands stained with blood than ink if it will at least save our prince.” 

As she starts to push you towards your new fate, your fingers dig into the soft flesh of her arm, desperate to try and keep hold of your past life. Taehyung takes you by the waist and pulls you towards him leaving long lacerations down your mother’s skin as you continue to sob and beg for her to stop this. The thumb of your captor crosses your lips, bringing with it a metallic taste to your tongue. There’s a hushed order whispered in your ear to be quiet and complacent, and you do just that. Relaxing into Taehyung's arms while he carries you out and into a waiting carriage in the dark and drenched courtyard. 

Once out from the castle walls his slick smile falls. He may have taken your ability to speak, but not your tears will to flow. Pulling out a kerchief, he cleans your hands of your mother's blood. After removing every spot he lifts the fabric to his nose, and winces at the smell. “It is still amazing to me that one like yourself could be born of such soiled stock.” He then tosses the cloth out the window of the carriage. “That’s better.” His hand lifts up to the stream that continues down your cheeks. “Do not weep my princess. They may not see the same value in you that I do, but I promise we will prove it to them soon.”    

Angered by his declaration, you look away to the door, not wanting to give Yoongi’s adversary the satisfaction of your gaze. You knew you always weighed less in your parents mind. For you were second in their hearts even before your brother was conceived, second to the mere hope of a son. Swaying their love even a fraction in your favour was and is an impossible feat, a battle you could never win. 

“I know you wished to leave them, my kin intercepted a letter addressed to a royal who was willing to abscond with a vampire.” You look back at him with eager eyes. A letter? Yoongi must have sent word and this lord stopped it from reaching you. “I see that I have your attention now do I?” Taehyung scoffs and sits back in the carriage clearly enjoying your regard. “I knew of a woman much like you before I became what I am. I once travelled the land with a troupe. Entertaining both the nobles and the masses, while dressed in simple white garments, with only a tapestry as a backdrop, and the floor as our stage. It was invigorating, the life that came from holding the eye of the courts, and one lady... one princess in particular.”

Taehyung pauses to look back at your castle before continuing his tale. You can do nothing but sit there and listen, his blood and previous demands continuing to hold you in his custody. 

“She too was not content with the possible suitors before her, they could not offer her the multitude of lives she wished to live, but through narratives and plays I fulfilled that need. We could become whatever she or I wished ourselves to be. I was sure to see her as often as I could, but when her parents learned of our tryst, my group was banished, and she, to the bed of a neighbouring prince.” The vampire sighs as the story takes a darker turn. “I promised I would return to her when I could offer her a better home, but my cast and I, we ran afoul of a beast one night. When another caught the scent of our tragedy and found only me hanging by a thread, he took pity and made me one of them. I was so fearful to return to her at first, it took me several years to work up the courage and restraint before I could send her a letter begging to call on her again.” 

Now engrossed in the tale and the comparison of his story to yours. You stop an attempt to fight his will, too curious of the outcome.

“She agreed to meet, stealing away from the castle at night to find me at a nearby inn. It was my intent to flee with her that evening, to give her not only all the lives she had desired, but an endless supply of existence. What I did not expect was for her to deny my proposal. In the time I had gone she bore the prince a child, and no longer desired to part with her new role. I was not willing to accept her answer... lost in the heat of my anger and hunger for her, I took the princess with me. Draining her of life, I added her blood to mine.”

You stiffen in your seat wondering if this too will be your end, recalling a cautionary tale your mother used to tell you. The story of a noble lady, who was bled dry by the parasitic and sinful world outside. You thought back then it was her way to scare you into not leaving the protection of the castle walls, never did you consider it to be real, nor that she would be the one to give you to the monster of the fable.

“The smell and taste, I have not had anything quite like her since... until this night, when I caught wind of your own scent upon your maid's dress. I was already on my way to see you, but she made it so much easier, for she spoke on my behalf to gain my entrance. Such a sweet girl, and so very much in love with your brother isn’t she? A shame that she will likely feel the same pain as I once did, a love that crosses classes only to end in death.” 

Seething with rage at his confession, you wish to fight back and escape from his carriage but your own body will still not comply. You knew it, you knew he never intended to save your brother, he only wanted a bargain that would play in his favour. There is still a catch that remains unseen by you and your family, one that will result in the prince’s demise.

“They’ve hitched their kingdom to a dying horse, keeping it alive by selling off their only hope.” His finger follows the path of a tear down your jaw and falling to your collar. “I can promise you I will have far more roles and lives for you to play, more than you ever would have had with them. And you, you who have so much to give in return.” He opens his mouth, his breathing heavy as he leans towards your throat. “It's been so long since I’ve had someone of your calibre... I plan to savour you for far longer than the last.” Pushing you down, until you lie on the seat of the carriage, his teeth latch on, piercing the skin of your neck.     

...

You drop your mother’s arms, leaning back upon remembering the part she had to play in giving you away. “You forced me into his custody? You are the reason I was made to endure his torture.” 

“We had no choice. Your brother, he was dying.”

“And where is he now?” You shout back at them, all decorum vanished from the room. “You were given the cure, so why is my brother still dead?”

With that Taehyung smiles bringing light to the answer. “It would seem the temptation was too great for their own vanity. Even your lovely parting gift to her, erased by my remedy.”

The marks that should be on your mother's arms from your own assault, the ageing that should have become apparent since your last moment with them, none of it is there. All wiped away by the blood that would have given your brother a longer span of life. “You-you used it didn’t you... I should have known. It’s always been about appearances with you. Playing the strong hand to keep both me and your people in line. And when you ran out... you asked for more didn’t you?”

“He said he would keep our prince alive!” Your mother replies shaking from the accusation, but not denying it.

“I told you that what I gave you would be enough. It is not my fault that you chose to waste it.” Taehyung counters with a wicked grin, pleased by their faults and presumptions. “They let your brother die, not I.” 

“Then why return now? Why come if you already received what you wanted out of the deal?” You question fearing his answer, for what more could he want.

“I promised I would one day make them see the value in you.” Taehyung explains. “And there is always another bargain to be made.”

“With your brother dead and you gone we needed an heir.” Your father sets out his quill and ink on the table along with a rolled document he’s been clinging to. “It is as we feared what might happen. Our rivals at court have been stoking the fires of our people, without any official descendant they grow discontent and worried about the security of the country's future, we need you back.”

“Though you still belong to me as per the first agreement,” Taehyung interjects. “So you will return, the law will be changed, and you will become the next in line instead of any child you might have produced. With me by your side, living as husband and wife, the future rulers of this kingdom.

“I won’t allow this.” You shake your head aghast by the thought of such a deal. “First you give him me, and now your people?”

“Those people are currently rallied against us, they would see the end of us if they could. You witnessed the proof.” The king gestures to the floor where the captured were held just a moment ago. “We need assistance in controlling them.” 

“Because you’ve given them nothing to stand behind! Instead your first instinct is to feed them to a beast. Why do you still trust this monster? He will double cross you, my brother, your son is already dead, don’t let him take any more!”

There’s a knock on the door with the return of Taehyung’s vampire kin having stowed away the prisoners. He bids them to enter, while your father looks on somewhat ruffled by the impermanence of the lord’s comfort in his own home. “My part of the deal has already been given, they cannot back out now. Unless they would like those rebels to return to their people?” 

The king shakes his head. Dipping the feathered pen he signs the parchment, and hands it off to the vampire lord. 

“Thank you for your cooperation my liege...” Taehyung bows his head as he takes the paper, passing it off to one of his clan, before returning his unwanted attention to you again. “Your parents will live out the remainder of their lives as king and queen. As long as I can assure that their people will not revolt while they live. The throne will pass to us, and your people to mine.” He tilts up your chin, his thumb crossing over the small scratch on your forehead from your travels. Dipping his finger in your goblet of wine he touches the cut again. The familiar itch of healing skin crosses the surface of your brow. Your stomach turns with the knowledge of what you unintentionally consumed. “It’s a shame for them though...They won’t live long enough to see the benefits of my work here.” With the brush of his hand he gives the order to his clan, “Kill them.”

Your parents both stand in alarm, attempting to reason with the monster before you. “No, you swore-” 

“That I would keep you safe from your people, not that you are protected from myself or my kind.” He addresses his fellow vampires once again, “If you insist on feeding on them do not do it here. I find their smell distasteful and I would rather not lose my appetite.” 

His progenies take hold of your parents, dragging them away. They scream for their guards, but when no one comes to their rescue they call for you next. Pleading with you so that you might speak up on their behalf, with all dignity lost while they come to face their own mortality. You remain silent, any words frozen inside out of fear and hate. Your last duty to them would be what they always asked of you, to be quiet and still, until their screaming comes to an abrupt halt as they meet their end.

Now alone Taehyung rises from his chair and lifts you up onto the dining table, locking you in with his arms on either side. “I told you I could give you so much more than them, didn’t I promise you that? Do you remember?”

“I never said I wanted it from you.” Your furry has reached a new level, overwhelmed with contempt towards Taehyung, your parents, and yourself for not remembering sooner. “You believe their deaths will give you the kingdom? You forget that you had them sign it off to me. I will never consent to marrying you, and we both know your blood will not force me into such a binding contract. It's why you had to make deals with my parents is it not? Compulsion will not work when it comes to such bonds in ink, and you have nothing left to play in order to sway me.”

“Such a smart girl,” Taehyung coos, while brushing the side of your face. “However, it is not I who has forgotten but you, for I have already won that battle too. Here...” He takes a swig of the wine, and firmly grasps the back of your neck. Pushing more of the drink between your lips with his, Taehyung forces you to choke it back and drown in your own past. “Let me help you remember, my princess... my bride...” 

...

- 4 years ago -

You open your eyes, to be greeted by unfamiliar surroundings. A soft bed beneath you, lying between warmed sheets with a handsome yet concerned looking man sitting at your side. 

“Thank heavens you’re awake. You took quite a fall.”

You lift a hand to your head trying to dull a sharp ache in your temple. The man leans in closer without hesitation, an action which surely indicates a close tie with you, but you have no memory of him. His hands are cool yet you welcome them on the side of your face, for they diminish the pain. “I don’t remember-”

“It’s okay my princess. I'm glad you are saved from the trauma of reliving that event.” He comforts you with a boxy smile, that doesn’t quite reach the sadness of his eyes.

“No, not just that, I mean I don’t remember... I don’t remember you, where I am, nor why I am here.” You strain to recall your most recent past, everything seems so long ago. There are glimpses and fragments of moments and people which you manage to pull forth, your parents and their rule, your brother and his suffering, your castle and it’s cold walls that once surrounded you. The loneliness of your past brings a tear to your eye for it is all you can recall. Everything about this man before you seems to have vanished from your mind. 

“No, no, no, don’t cry.” His expression falls, as his hand shifts to wipe beneath your eyes, he swallows his shaking breath in clear distress over your loss. “I promised that I would look after you, that I would treat you well. Your parents, what will I tell them? They will rightfully blame me for letting you get hurt like this.”

The fear and sadness strewn across his handsome face is more than you can bear. You reach out a hand to his to comfort him back. “Could you remind me of your name sir?”

“Taehyung, and please don’t be so formal. There’s no need with me.”

“Then our relationship to each other...”

He takes your hand, tracing your fingers with his, before planting a kiss on your fourth digit. “We have been promised to one another. Your parents agreed to let you leave your own kingdom to be with me.”  

“Oh god, I’m so sorry... I don’t remember, I don’t remember anything. I can’t-”

“It’s okay my princess. It’s not your fault, but mine. You were hurt under my care. I’ll help you to rebuild what we have. We’ll start from the beginning, if we have to. I just can’t endure the thought of losing you entirely. Please just tell me what you need, whatever I can do, it will be done. I will help you to fall for me over and over, if it means I can continue to be with you.”

...

Taehyung spends the nights alongside you tending to your every desire, reciting poetry and plays to keep you entertained while you remain on bed rest for your injury. You feel bound by his kindness, and so guilty for not being able to recall your own past together.

During the day he is forced away from your side. He has a demanding role filled with travel and responsibilities, your only hope is that when he deems you well enough, you will spend that time together too. That you will be able fulfill this building desire within, to go out and journey for his role together.  

But the weeks pass with no change in your situation.

Until one night when it all becomes too much to conceal. When left by his caretakers to bathe, you dissolve into sorrow over the fact that your loss of memory is holding you back. Your wedding to him was to be days from now, but he has called it off until you can recover what you lost. Your wracking sobs echo through the empty room as you commiserate alone. Questioning what you could possibly do to dispel this suffering. 

You did not expect the sound to summon Taehyung, who comes bursting in without thought to your current state of dress. “Princess I-I...” He stops in his tracks and turns on his heel, shielding his eyes from your nude form. “Forgive me, I was not made aware that you were bathing.” 

You press yourself to the side of the tub. Shy at first but when you find him more so, you beckon him over, just as he is about to reach for the door. “No wait, don’t leave. If you go I fear I will only feel more guilt over our situation.” 

“Guilt? To what shame are you referring? Have I not made you comfortable here? Do you not have everything you need?” Taehyung abides by your call, joining you beside the tub, and swallowing as he glimpses you in the water.

“I do, and that is the issue. I remember nothing other than your care and kindness. You have given me everything you can, and I have nothing to grant you in return.”

“That’s not true-”

You press a damp finger to his lips, urging him to let you finish. “Despite not having a memory of our past, there is this need inside me... it’s difficult to express, but it calls out for someone like you. I do not wish to continue this cautionary stance, waiting and hoping for something that might not return. I do not want to hold us back. I think we should still marry, for I cannot see my life in any other way.”

Taehyung gives you a small smile along with a kiss to your hand which still lingers near his mouth. While his own reaches into the tub, his fingers twirling in the water just above your leg. “There is still much you don’t know about me.”

“Then I will learn it as it comes. Please, I long to move past this. I cannot and will not remain in this present, with you restraining yourself because of me. I truly believe that moving forward with the original plan is the best course of action.” 

“If that is what you desire,” He the tips of his fingers submerge further until they draw against your thigh. “I will resume the plans between you and I.”

...

The ceremony is modest, with only you and Taehyung reciting your vows under the night sky. After signing a document to confirm your ties, he whisks you off to the bedroom to consummate the new promise between you. 

The strength of the man before you comes as quite a shock as he rips the laces of your gown in his eager hunt to find the flesh beneath, until your best dress soon lays in tatters on the floor. His hunger for you appears to reach a new level, with his mouth nipping and devouring every inch he has exposed. Your situation has held you both back for so long, but at least now you will both get to revel in the path forward together. 

Once bare he flips you on to your stomach and disrobes himself. His taut legs come to straddle your hips, while his hands run up your back and down your arms. Taking your wrists he pins them over top of your head. “Just a precaution my princess,” He chuckles your ear as his leather belt wraps around. Tightening them together before the strap loops the headboard and is once again threaded through the buckle, wittingly securing you to the bed. “For if I am worried over the possibility of you fleeing, I might lose myself, and consume too much of you.”

“I have no plans to run.” You muse, giggling at his passion.“But I will concede to your bondage if it satisfies you.” 

“I was hoping you would agree.”  He teases his index along your slit, drenching your sensitive skin, and preparing you for his swollen cock. You raise your hips eagerly towards him and he takes the hint. Laying down over top of you he guides himself in with one hand while the other loops your waist. 

You gasp from the stretch before gritting your teeth trying to hide the brief moment of pain. Taehyung swears as his forehead comes to rest on your shoulder, his breath shaking as much as yours while he inhales deeply. A growl echoes in his throat which he promptly clears. “Princess, am I... am I your first?” There’s a hint of surprise in his voice, but you can not understand why that would be so.

“If I was promised to you... I can not see why I would have laid with another.” You answer somewhat hurt by the notion that he thinks you would have been unfaithful in the past. Your memories might be limited, but you can not believe that would be the kind of person you are, to be unfaithful to one so kind would make you a monster.

“Yes, of course.” He sighs, “I just, I had not...” He empties his throat again. Hugging you tightly as he pushes his cock in further. “My dear princess, so good to trust me with such a gift.”

You exhale with a confirmation. “I am all yours.” 

With Taehyung resting deep inside he pauses for another moment. His fingers trapped between you and the bed shift down to your mound where they press and cause you to buck back onto him. “Forget the pain for now...” He whispers in your ear while the deep circles he rubs shift you from discomfort to pleasure. Your twitching responses beguile him as you clench down on his shaft. The growl in his voice returns and grows deeper, he thrusts along with you. A need inside your start to build, your breathing stutters while he continues on. “...And come for me.”  Your nerves reach their peak at his words, holding you in place until the tension inside you finally releases and the warm waves run from head to toe. 

As you ride out your climax Taehyung pushes forward with his own. His cock continues to swell, demanding more of you, until he comes to his end and collapses twitching with content. With a groan he wraps his arms around you and nuzzles your back, while you remain trapped beneath him.

You tug on his belt wanting to touch him and hold him as he does to you. But even once he has come himself, he does not appear to be fully parted from his lustful needs. He shifts down so that his face can be found between your thighs. Your cheeks burn with embarrassment as you inquire for him. “Taehyung, please-”

“Don’t fret my princess, I just- I just want to- there was some blood drawn in my haste to have you, I would like to kiss it better.” He chuckles before his tongue comes to find your folds. The beastly sounds from him become far greater than before as he laps at the spot. Your hesitation is cast aside as you soon delve into pleasure once again. 

His fingers clamp down on your legs as he feeds from your cunt with an even stronger resolve. “I must- I must have more.” He begs of you.        

“I am yours to take.” You respond, eager to indulge more from his affectionate appetite.

But as soon as your permission is granted an unimaginable pain pierces the skin and muscle of your thigh. His mouth latches onto the source of such misery, and draws on the wound taking deep drafts. “Taehyung?” You cry out in confusion, pulling the bonds he left you in. 

Your lord and husband suspends the act. Rising up to release you from the headboard, he takes your restraints in his hand. Flipping you back over and pinning you back down beneath him. You find your groom smiling while his mouth drips with blood. He chuckles lightly at your horror, taking in your fear. “Did you have a change of heart my princess? I’m sorry to have brought such a swift end to our happy scene, but tomorrow we may start over... once I’ve had my fill.”

...

After the first Taehyung proceeds to push upon you several moments wrought in passion and pain. The concealment of his identity to become your love, and of course the times when he chose purely to torture you as your captor.   

You come to understand that your past with Taehyung is a series of tales, with him portraying the villain, or the hero. Going from captor, to suitor, to husband, only to break you by becoming your captor once again. He’s crippled you countless times, in so many different ways, choosing whichever act suits him in the moment, gorging himself off your emotional defeat the same way he feeds your blood, in the most painful way possible. 

“A small sample of our time together, but you see princess, you are already bound to me in matrimony. I have what I need for my clan. My followers will have access to any house, any dwelling on our kingdom’s land once I give them my consent to enter.”

“Y-you have no right to do that!” You stutter, trying to push down the past to focus on the present. 

“Oh but I do as your husband, as the new king I now have partial claim. My men will be able to feed within the safety of your peoples homes. Hunting them in their beds will be far easier than being restricted to the streets.”

“They are not cattle for you to feed upon!”

“How is that any different than your family's rule?” Taehyung scoffs, looking to the ornate room around you both. “Your parents in their vanity and greed bleed them dry, to the point where they were begging for a change, even if it was the rule of a young man who had barely stepped into adulthood. They will be grateful for the passing of the king and queen, and for the new rule. Remembering the vampires who will now stalk them while they sleep only as a passing nightmare.” 

“That does not make what you are doing any better.” You argue, though you know it to be pointless. 

“Not in your eyes, but my people will at least benefit from the sacrifice of your own. They trust me to do right by them. Can yours say the same about you? Will you bear the pain of your suffering and theirs? All that’s left is for us to choose which story we should play next. Would you like to forget it all again? To have me return to the role of doting lover and husband? Or would you prefer to recall that which has brought you pain? Your parents, your brother, and myself, knowing that soon my people will feast on yours.” 

To remember would be the only chance you have in finding a weakness to him, any attempt to remove him from his position will require your knowledge of what happened in the past and what is happening in the present. Who knows what story he would otherwise weave next, but he will no doubt pull the wool over your eyes if you let him. 

“I will give you until the end of this night to choose, if you don’t I will do so for you. But I am so very ready to return to our routine. These past few weeks have been a torment without you to entertain and fulfil me.” His finger traces an x on your neck, marking the spot he intends to bite. “I will never again allow us to be parted for so long.”  The point of his teeth make contact with your skin, when the door opens and one of his keepers calls for him. “What?!” Taehyung shouts back in frustration. “What could possibly be so important that you must interrupt my dinner?” 

“There is a hunter demanding entrance at the gate.” The vampire informs, looking rather shaken for having displeased his lord. “Says he won’t leave until he sees proof that you received your princess. It seems that he was trying to deliver her when she ran off in the daylight earlier today.”

“So someone did find you... that would explain...” His hands soften on your neck running his fingers over the previously tortured flesh. He then turns to the vampire waiting for his answer. “What is the hunter’s name?”

“Agust, my lord.”

Your head snaps up with your eyes wide. Yoongi is here, and he knew to call himself Agust? That can only mean, the secrets kept from him by his clan, the truth that would break you, it was the knowledge of Taehyung’s presence here.

  “Is this the case my princess? Did this Agust find you and intend to bring you here?” You bite your tongue but he pushes his power over you again. “Tell me the truth of this matter.”

“He did.” You can’t be sure of what Yoongi intends to do once inside, but at least your forced honesty did not betray his cover.

“He has my permission to enter. Bring him to me now, I owe him my gratitude for taking such good care of my princess.” The vampire guard leaves to grant the other access. 

Taehyung traces his teeth with his tongue. Appearing unusually happy despite the fact that his meal was disturbed. “You will remain seated and quiet, while I reward this hunter for his deeds, is that understood princess?” You reluctantly nod, submitting to his compulsion. 

Yoongi, accompanied by four of Taehyung's kin, enters the dinning hall and promptly bows. “My lord.”

“Agust... I don’t believe we’ve had the pleasure of speaking before have we?” 

“No my lord, I’ve dealt only with your keepers. But it was my honour to retrieve your princess as requested.” You meet his eye when they flicker in your direction trying to decipher his plan, but are unable to see a way out that could have possessed him to take such a risk.

“Yes, I must thank you for bringing her most of the way. I am surprised that you knew to find me here though, I thought that was kept confidential from the hunters.”

“It was my lord but I learned of your occupation here only recently, such a large group of vampires in a human city does not go unnoticed for long.” 

“Then I commend you, for doing what many of my other hunters could not.” Taehyung smirks at his own kin’s expense. “Tell me who was your maker, from which line do you descend?

“Your caretaker Egan, my lord.” Yoongi offers, his tone flat and even. “Though I don’t know if he would recall me, I am one of many.”

“Egan you say?” Taehyung pauses, with a raised brow and pout, which soon fades into a smile after a moment's hesitation. “He has created a fair few hasn’t he?” He chuckles. “Now you were not able to finish my task to completion, but I will still grant you the reward of becoming a keeper if you can complete just one other challenge.”

“Of course my lord.” Yoongi promises, watching adamantly with his hand twitching at his side. 

“There is someone I need you to find, one who has been haunting me for quite some time. Before my princess met me she fell in love with another of our kind. A vampire who works for Lord Hoseok, and goes by the name Min Yoongi. It took me a year to find the full extent of the boundaries in her memory that relate to him, I needed to empty her of love for that fool, and take it for myself. I was successful in the end of course.” He tips your chin with his finger delighting in the pained expression you bear at the thought. “But I would like to see the end of him, and purge anything that might hope to take her from me.”

“I understand...” Yoongi responds through a clenched jaw. Peeking a concerned glance at you when Taehyung's back turns to him. 

“I think she might be able to help you start your quest. You know where to find this Yoongi, do you not my princess?”

You dip your head, as a tear slips from your cheek and falls to your lap. You bite your tongue in an attempt to hold back your answer but Taehyung presses again with the compulsion of his blood. “You will answer me, out loud.”

“Yes,” you confirm,  your eyes meeting with Yoongi’s again, pleading for him to go now, and escape before you reveal anything else. 

“Do you think it will be an easy task for this vampire Agust to find him?” 

“I do.” You utter with a reply stolen from your lips.

 Taehyung mutters in your ear for his final question. “Is he the one who stands before us now my princess?” Panic instantly seizes you, with every function of your body coming to a halt, wondering how he could have found out. The moment your mouth starts to open, Yoongi launches himself at Taehyung, but his attack is quickly brought to a halt by the vampire lord who draws his own stake. Shoving Yoongi across the room and into the arms of his guard.

“You thought you could fool me after so many of your brethren tried and failed?” The cruel lord chides with a low chuckle. “There have been too many errors on your part, the greatest of which was the name of your false creator.” He approaches his new prisoner dragging the point of the stake along Yoongi’s chest while he is held in place. “A misstep of Egan’s allowed for her to escape, and so I sent the order for him to be disposed of. I knew the deed was done mere hours ago when I watched a progeny of his wither away before my eyes. If you were of his blood you too would have perished.”  Taehyung explains before he paces away twirling the stake between his fingers. “What a wicked curse we must endure is it not? Though it does have its advantages... I wonder how many will I wipe out with your death?” Your heart beats wildly in your chest longing to run forward and prevent such an event. “It will come soon, of that there is no question, but not before I take every ounce of information you hold about Hoseok’s current plans.” 

“You will get nothing from me unless you let her go,” Yoongi growls.

“Let go of my own bride?” The restrained vampire flinches at the comment as Taehyung grins and prods further. “I suppose you didn’t know. You must forgive her for not informing you, she couldn’t recall it herself until a few minutes ago. Regardless, I have no plans to free her, for I believe the closer I am to your beloved the more I will get from you.” Taehyung joins you at your side again.  “What do you think princess? Would you like an admirer for our performance? I’m sure even the steadfast Min Yoongi would bend to my will if he witnesses you in my favourite roles.”

Taehyung’s attention is drawn away from the pair of you when more of his keepers enter the room greeting him with a nod. “Alas the show will have to wait. I have permissions to grant, and a story to feed your staff,” The vampire lord sighs and acquiesces to their needs, grabbing the decanter from which you took a glass. “The rest of your people will come after.”

Taehyung gestures to one of his men. “He will take you to your room, and you will remain there until I return. I look forward to having a more fulfilling reunion between you and I come dawn.” His fingers brush against your cheek one last time before addressing the vampires holding Yoongi. “Keep him locked up along with the revolutionaries for now. I will call upon him later.”

Yoongi continues to lash out as you are both dragged in opposite directions. Barring his fangs at those who hold him, but he is soon subdued with the addition of another clan member and carried out of sight. 

Your own escort doesn’t say a word as he takes you through the empty halls, and staircases with one hand grappling your upper arm. Any attempt to pull it from him is met with a snarl and tighter hold. As you pass the rooms of the hall you wonder where Taehyung has the remaining staff kept and despite the lies forced down their throat you hope they will remain untouched.

The guard opens a door and pushes you in, sending you to the ground before locking it behind. The dimly lit room is unfortunately not your own, consisting only of a bed, washstand, and shuttered windows. Rising from the timber floor you find a stain on your hands and dress originating from the spot on which you landed, a spill, red enough to be the remnants of a vampire's meal. You start heaving at the thought, running to the filled basin desperate to remove the sticky scarlet substance. With hands shaking as they are submerged in water, your entirety follows suit, quaking in fear of what has just transpired and what is left to come. 

Your parents are lost, they dug their own grave, but your fellow citizens, and Yoongi... you have to find him, before he too is lost and your people are reduced to a mere spattering on the floor. 

You pull on the shutters of the window, releasing them to peer out and see if there is any hope to scale out of this one too. The height from the ground might be manageable, but a pair of glowing eyes looking up to you from the garden stops your attempt. The gaze from below continues to watch until you retract and close the space between you again. Taehyung's caretakers and keepers are as eager to keep and feed on you as he is. Visions of past attacks start to flood your mind, making you regret your venture to look out. You tried to escape so many times in your past captivity. Each one with the exception of the last was foiled by his keepers or caretakers, some brought you straight back to your room, while others... others were swiftly intercepted by the lord of the fortress, but only after they landed their first bite.  

Retreating to the corner of the room, you set yourself down at the furthest point from the door and window. Left alone to stare at the crimson puddle, as you wait for Taehyung’s return. There is no question that you have to bear the weight of your memories as painful as they are, you can not afford to forget the past. Not now, not with Yoongi nor your people in jeopardy. You wonder if Taehyung will strike such a deal with you. If you promise to abide by his command without his blood, will that be enough to buy at the very least Yoongi’s safety?

The minutes pass while you consider your options, distracted only when there comes a thump from the shutters. You rise from your spot and move closer to the door. The boards made to conceal the daylight shatter inward with another hit, knocking over the solitary candle and casting you into darkness. The shadowy intruder leaps in, their gleaming eyes holding you in their sights. 

Figuring it to be one of the Taehyung’s progeny’s come for a taste, you draw breath to scream. Until the vampire collides with you, holding you down, and covering your mouth. 

“I told you to stay in the room.” The hushed tones of Yoongi greet you to your immense relief. “Why didn’t you listen to me? Why did you run?” He waits there for a moment, removing his hand only when you finally relax beneath him.

“Yoongi...” You gasp in relief. “I overheard you and Seokjin. When I saw you give into the demands... I-I didn’t know, I didn’t realize-”

There’s a knock interrupting your explanation, the vampiric guard no doubt alarmed by the commotion. You both fall silent, but that does not seem to satisfy the sentry,  who proceeds to unlock the door. Yoongi jumps up ready to meet him with a stake. As the barrier opens, the vampire tries to step inside, making it only far enough in for the wooden weapon to reach his heart. Yoongi grabs the enemies throat in the last moments, committing him to silence until death before tossing the corpse to the side. Treating the newly dead as nothing more than a bothersome distraction. 

Yoongi turns back to you but keeps his distance, a growl rattling in his throat as he takes deep breaths. “I told you before, I would never take you there. I had no wish to abide by the request from my lord. I could not tell Seokjin of my plans to disobey while we remained in his house. I was going to take you as far away as I could after learning the whole truth behind your capture, but your stunt put everything in jeopardy, including yourself.”

You start to sob upon hearing his deception, you should have guessed that with such a reveal from his own clan he would try to deceive them too, like the others he dealt with on your behalf. He closes the gap between you, pulling you in close, allowing your tears to fall on his chest. “How-how did you escape just now? I thought for certain he had us both in his grasp.”

“I kept hold of the tainted blood, and those holding me were in desperate need of a drink. One sip and they were at my mercy instead.” He lips grace the top of your head with a kiss as you cling to him. “We’re going to get you out of here okay? We’ll go down to the passage. I have already released those he captured, if he has a mob on his hands, we might slip out undetected.”

“I can’t leave, not yet-”

“Why, because he compelled you to stay?” Yoongi questions, attempting to dismiss your concern. “I will carry you out if your own volition fails to do so.”

“It is not that alone... he was not lying when he told you I was his-his-” You stall on the word unable to say it yourself. “In those five years, he played with my mind, he made me forget you and desire him instead, a-and I fell for it. It is because of me he now has a claim to every home in the town. This is my error to fix. I will not leave those who dwell here to feed his own.”

“You are not to blame for his actions.” He counters, his own voice cracking in desperation.  “Your remaining here will not change that.”

“I only wish to remain so I can bring an end to him, to kill him.” You promise. “Either way, whether successful or not I will not exist here long.    

“No, I am not letting you near him again. If we must do this then let him be mine to kill.”

“He thinks me in here unarmed and broken to his will,” You open Yoongi’s jacket to find another stake that he must have stolen from Taehyung’s followers. “I will have a better chance. It would be better for you to ensure that his clan has not brought harm to anyone else.”

“And leave you here to face him? If he falls so do his own progenies, which includes most if not all of his keepers. There will be no point in my leaving to dispose of them, if your main goal is to defeat him.”

“If he sees you he will be instantly aware. When he is as strong as you say then even you won’t be able to defeat him without catching him off guard.”

“I am not leaving you alone with him even if you are armed, and that is final.” Yoongi takes his firm stance, while grabbing at the stake in your hand. “I will not lose you again...”      

You look down at the deceased on your floor, fearing the same fate for Yoongi should he remain here with you. Taehyung has proven time and time again that none can fool him for long, not Yoongi, not his clan members, even those who disobeyed him attempting to draw blood from you were cast aside... with Taehyung throwing himself between you and them.  “If you will not leave then... I need you to bite me.”

Yoongi follows your gaze in confusion, “What is it you are plotting your highness?”

“He will no doubt come running if he smells my spilt blood. He has before. If he thinks I am in danger from his own, I will be able to get close with his guard down.” You take the stake back from him while he considers your plan, gripping it in your fist behind your back. “All you have to do is play the threat.”

“Will you not wait for another alternative? My clan could be here in a day to deal with them.”

“He is hungry, and all too confident of victory.” You plead with your vampire. “If we wait-” 

“If we wait he will be more likely to catch on...” Yoongi growls confirming your thoughts, as he begrudgingly bends down to take the cloak of the defeated guard. Tying it around he pulls the hood over his head. “This is unbelievably reckless you know. I should just take you from here this instant.”

“But you won’t.” You reply with a sad smile reaching up to touch his cheek with your hand, and press a kiss to his lips. “You long for an end to this as much as I.”  

With his back to the door he takes you into his arms. When hunched over you Taehyung should not know who he is until it is too late. Yoongi places his mouth ready to sink into your neck. “Are you sure you want to be the one to-”

“I have to.” You cut him off before he can even try to change your mind again.

With a deep sigh his teeth pierce your skin, the blood starts to flood from the wound and Yoongi lets out a low pained groan as he resists the urge to feed. For the more blood that escapes and is left to the air, the sooner that Taehyung will come running to investigate your situation. After a minute passes, you start to feel light headed and grip your weapon tighter. 

“If he doesn't come soon I will have to put a stop to this.”

“He will come,” you gasp. “Just wait.” 

Right on cue there comes a shout from down the hall along with the thunder of footsteps. Your door crashes open to reveal the ferocious monster. 

Yoongi is thrown to the wall, and promptly disregarded in the moment by Taehyung, whose immediate attention is more occupied with you spilling out before him. “She is mine,” he seethes looking ravenous after not feeding on you for weeks. His hunger distracting him from the arm you have tucked behind your back. While pulling you closer to take a taste himself, you draw your own weapon, stabbing him through his heart with the stake. 

He looks down to injury with a sobering disbelief, his words heavy on his lips with a low chuckle as he forces out his final thoughts before his demise. “Well played princess... you had me thinking I was to be your hero again.”

“You were never my hero, only my assailant.” You shove the stake deeper into his chest. “And now my fatality.”

Taehyung gasps and delivers one last cruel smile. “A fitting end, though I can think of one better. Why part here, when you can join me in death.” He launches at your throat ready to strike and bleed you further, when his actions are cut short by another. 

With the stake pulled from the other vampire, Yoongi pierces him through the back, and takes hold from behind preventing Taehyung’s last threat. The vampire lord's eyes go wide showing a brief moment of fear before he finally succumbs to death. Pulling yourself from his clutches you take a deep breath and rejoice in the freedom, though the feeling doesn’t last long. 

Already dizzy from the loss of blood you are in no way prepared for the surge of memories that flood back. With Taehyung dead his physical hold on you diminished, but the pain of his manipulation, the trauma and loss he has inflicted on you hits as a wave, and pulls you under. 

Yoongi is there to heal the wound on your neck, he calls to you repeatedly though his voice along with your vision of him are clouded amongst your thoughts. Your heart pounds and head races as it continues to try and register the influx of everything you lost. 

There’s a soft touch to your temple, as a whisper from him finally makes it through. “Be strong my love, you can conquer this too.”

You can feel yourself being lifted as the room moves around you. Clinging to his coat you utter your wish to leave, unwilling to spend another moment in this castle. Fully slipping as he draws you in closer.

...

When the haze lifts you come to find yourself in another bed. Not one of the castle’s no, it seems Yoongi had observed that request, but the location is still worrisome for it is the same room you had shared with him in Seokjin’s house. You immediately sit up, panicking over your last memory of this place, and fearful of Yoongi’s clan’s intent. 

Your vampire sleeps on a chair beside you, though his head and chest are slumped over on the mattress and his hand encasing yours. Stirring the second your grip leaves his and you attempt to get from the bed. He grabs at your shoulder pushing you back down with ease, “What do you think you are doing? You are in no state to be running off.” 

“Yoongi... why are we here? If Seokjin-”

“This was the only safe place I could think to bring you. You have nothing to fear here now. Seokjin will not do anything, he knows he was in the wrong to suggest such compulsion, and Namjoon has promised retribution on your behalf if he continues such behaviour.” Yoongi briefly smirks at the thought of the pair, though his expression soon darkens as his hand brushes your hair from your face as you relax back into the bed. “I thought- I was worried I lost you back there.”

“I-I couldn’t control it, there was so much that I had lost and most of it difficult to bear again...” You grimace at the pain of it, prompting Yoongi to lean in to kiss your blow and pull a small smile from you again. “I should never have returned. I should have trusted you more, I’m so sorry for putting you in danger like that.”

“It was not your fault. You had every reason to doubt me given your past and what you knew. I can’t imagine what it was like, but...” He looks down avoiding your eyes as he rubs your hands, the words that follow are just as tentative and soft. “If you should- I don’t know if- if you need me to help you discard any memories I will do so. Doesn’t have to be now or ever, but if you ever need me to... don’t feel like you have to carry the weight of it alone.”   

You nod your eyes tearing up with gratitude for his offer. “Thank you, there will be some moments that I- that I will be glad to be rid of.” Yoongi’s warm smile comes with his arms to wrap around you in a tight hug. You wince as your muscles stain to return the affection, feeling as though they have seized from lack of use. “How long have I been under?” 

“The longest two nights of my existence.”

“Two nights?” You exclaim pulling out of the embrace in shock. “What has happened since?  Was anyone else hurt before I-I-”

“No one else, but the castle,” Yoongi sighs looking hesitant to tell you the rest. “The castle was set aflame in an act of defiance. It was sentenced to burn once the staff and resistance had cleared it of everything of value.”

“Good,” you whisper. 

“There is more... Seokjin has been keeping a close eye on the situation.” Yoongi discloses. “But, when word spread that you returned only to vanish again, many believed your appearance to be that of an imposter rather than their former princess. They thought you a tool of the mysterious lord attempting to gain power.”

“And their plans to create a new form of rule?” You ask, the focus of your question leading Yoongi to tilt his head in confusion.

“Going forward without much backlash, but-”

“Then they have every right to think so. I am very different from their lost princess.” You smile to Yoongi’s surprise. “I am a threat to them now, a threat to the future governance they plan to install. Any version of me might sow the seeds of discord in progress if I was to return. If this story of me being a deceiver will help them to rebuild, then let them think it. I will make no plans to return.”

Yoongi nods in understanding, though his expression still holds regret. “I am sorry I was not able to deliver you home as promised.”

“That place was not my home for so long, not since you-”

A loud knock comes from the front door of the small home, reaching you all the way in your upstairs room. Yoongi stiffens in the seat next to you as muffled voices are soon heard too. Your vampire stands going to the door where Seokjin appears a moment later with news. “It’s Lord Hoseok. He’s here, and he wants to see you.”

“Don’t you dare let him in.” Yoongi pushes back. “Not with her here, not now.” 

“I can’t exactly deny him entrance,” Seokjin scoffs. “This is his house-”

“Fine, then I will.” 

Seokjin puts a hand on Yoongi’s chest and prevents him from storming off into a confrontation. “You know you can’t stop him. If he wishes to see her he will, but right now I think his main concern is you. Do not anger him if there is no reason to. See what he wants then come to a judgement.”

The same loud knock you heard below then arrives at your bedroom door, breaking off the disagreement between the two vampires.The guest you know not to require permission, but it seems that he would rather enter on your terms rather than his own. 

“Yoongi?” You call to him, witnessing the dread in his face when he turns to look at you. “I should like to speak to him too.”

Yoongi’s reluctant hand turns the lever, letting his lord inside. Your own vampire stands between the two of you preventing you from getting a good look as the first words are exchanged.   

“My Lord.”

“Tell me it is so, that it is true. Is Taehyung- ” The vampire lord immediately launches into the heart of the matter. The weight of his tone sends shivers to even you. 

“Dead, my lord.” 

“Thank you Yoongi, I am in your debt.” The tension in his voice quickly falls away. 

“It was not I alone who defeated him sir. The credit also goes to the woman who you thought you would contain to your fortress.” Yoongi mutters with malice.

“I app-” His lord steps further in, allowing him to finally catch a glimpse of you. He pauses for a moment as he takes you in, his mouth hangs open and a single word falls in greeting, “Mansin?”

Though the word is foreign to you Yoongi reacts in an instant, returning to your side, he growls and his superior in defiance while positioned in your defence. “She is not-”

Lord Hoseok seems to catch himself and apologises. “A mistake Yoongi, an honest mistake, I see that she is bound to you. You must forgive me,” He whispers while giving a sad smile in penance. “Something in your expression reminded me of someone I once knew.” He politely touches upon his error, but leaves you with no reason for Yoongi’s reception. “I must give my thanks to you as well then, for you saved me the pain of having to kill my own creation.” 

Alarmed by the confession you try to stand but Yoongi’s hand once again comes down to your shoulder. “Then Taehyung was yours? You created that monster?!”

“It was not my intention to have him turn out in such a way.” The vampire lord growls at the censure, causing Yoongi to grow ridged next to you. “I found him as an innocent young man dying, whispering the name of the one he loved, the one he was bound to. I took pity on him, would you not have done the same?” Hoseok raises an eyebrow as he throws his choice back at you. 

You swallow and nod in response. “I suppose I would have.” The swift changes in mood of the vampire lord keep you on guard, intimidating in one moment and considerate in the next. It’s easy to see why Yoongi might be wary of him around you. 

“I chose to banish him from the clan when he killed his former mate, your ancestor, for I could no longer trust him. He sought revenge on both your family and mine, and it is my fault alone. I knew that Yoongi would prefer to keep you as far away as possible, but Taehyung would likely have tracked you down sooner or later. I wanted to make up for that by offering you a safe place at my fortress but I can see that it was misconstrued.” 

“Thankfully your assistance with my residence is no longer required.” You convey, hoping that he has abandoned the notion, since the threat is no longer stalking you.

“Yes... thankfully.” Lord Hoseok reiterates with a weak grin.

“If you are in our debt as you say then I would like to make a request of you.” You ask much to Yoongi’s surprise, resulting in his head snapping in your direction.

“A request?” Hoseok blinks, a grin twitching in his lips. He grabs the chair from the desk, turning it to face you before taking his seat. “What have you to ask of me?”

“My old kingdom, I want to ensure the health of the people. I ask that if your clan goes there to feed they use the tactics that Yoongi has been operating under.” Yoongi finally exhales and relaxes, as you explain your wish, a small smile crosses his lips with what looks to be pride.

“I understand your position, and would agree immediately if there were to be no recourse, but to put such limitations on my clan without any amendments or accommodations to offer in return... many would turn rogue.” Hoseok shakes his head. “No, if I ordered that, we might find ourselves in another situation like before.”

You consider what you have left to give with nothing left from your family to offer, you have only what you may have acquired through matrimonial bonds. “Tell me when a vampire dies, what happens to the ownership of their residences.”

“It will go to whomever they deemed a second who was not created by their own lineage. Yoongi was once my own. I don’t know if Taehyung- ”

“But if they had taken a wife who survived them?” You ask.

“They would be yours...” Yoongi mutters beside you in understanding.

You nod grimacing at the prospect of owning his land. “I want no part of them. But if they will help you to convince your clan to adjust their feedings and continue to help those of my former kingdom they are yours.” You offer to Hoseok. “Every fortress, waypoint and house that belonged to him will all be transferred to your own clan. ”

“Then I accept your terms,” Hoseok nods in agreement. “But where will you go?”

You look to Yoongi to give the answer. Caught off guard he pauses before responding with the simple direction of, “East, we plan to head east.”

  ...

...Two months later...

Yoongi stops the horse and dismounts beside an overgrown field, looking at the land with a deep contented sigh. “This is it.” He lights a lantern for you before treading into the long grass, in search of the foundation of his old home.

He was right, there is little left, but regardless of that fact you help him by clearing the roughage from any remains you can find. Pausing only when he does, while uncovering what seems to be a rotting wooden board laying on the ground. Upon further inspection you find it to shield a substantial cavern below with steps leading into the darkness. 

“If that’s the cellar... Then that must mean.” Yoongi mutters, before taking a few steps away, counting his paces as he goes. Hunching down over a higher patch of ground, he tears away the long weeds, until a stone hearth reveals itself. He takes the rotting wooden board, and breaks it apart into several pieces. Building them up before he sets them alight with the fire of the lantern. 

He lowers himself to sit in front of the burning wood and beckons for your hand, kissing you knuckles, raw from the cold wind of your journey as you take a seat next to him. Despite the lack of walls and roof, you are overwhelmed by Yoongi’s peace as he looks into the fire, feeling that same comfort and warmth within yourself. “I never thought I’d see this place again, but now, it feels right to return. Perhaps-” He meets your eye before expressing the rest of his tentative question. “Perhaps we could stay here for a while?”

“I would like that.” You answer with a nod, prompting him to beam back at you.

While Yoongi moves to lay on the grass relaxing in the light of the flame you pull out the new map you’ve been working on since the start of your journey east. The other still remains, not entirely forgotten, but of little use in this region. The fresh start on parchment comes as a much needed reprieve, the chance to begin again. 

“You are marking this place down for me?” Yoongi asks as you draw with your quill pen. 

“For us,” you correct him.

Looking down at the new point on the map now labelled with your description, he smiles at the sight of the single word you had written. “Have I fulfilled my duty to you then? Should we part ways here?” He jests pushing to rise up until you tug him back down by his long coat.

“You have,” Shaking your head at his joke, you explain your true feelings behind the word. “But if you leave, this place ceases to be so. It only exists as such when I am with you.”

“Then I must stay by your side, or risk breaking another promise?” He continues to tease you, with a twitch to the corner of his lip.

You can’t help but laugh at his attempt to conceal his eagerness. “So it would seem. How long do you think you can keep your vow?” 

“For eternity.” Yoongi whispers, leaning in to kiss you over the setting ink of, ‘Home.’

...

-The End-

...

[jjpmoans]

thank you, love

→ characters : jaemin na x reader

→ word counts : 1.5k

→ warnings : angst, really not recommended if you're on happy mood

→ summary : based on the song Secret Love Song by Little Mix. Listen to it when you read this! Basically y/n, she's tired of it.

You stare blankly into space, feeling the warmth escaping your body as seconds go by. The heat of the night seems no longer hot. Instead it is replaced by the coldness, the degree of coldness that you never knew your heart could reach ever since he came into your life.

Your heart was warm, once upon a time. She was warm, loved and happy. She was everything you could ever ask for, beating for that one particular name, one particular man that has made his way into your heart and built a home there, warming the space. She, who has loved unconditionally, was loved by the man you called your life partner, or so you thought.

The sound of key chiming tells you that he’s home.

He’s back at what you call home.

But you don’t know anymore if this space is considered home. It has lost its warmth. All this space has is two soulless humans arriving and leaving the space at odd hours, greetings forgotten and laughter faded into the air. This space is no longer warm, no longer a place you call home.

Home is supposed to be lively. It is supposed to be filled with warmth, laughter and cry regardless of occasion, it is supposed to be filled with love. However what’s left is the memories, the memories of two people being in love, plastered on every corner of the house. You laugh inwardly, you suppose not even his shadow has managed to leave a trace for more than two seconds on those frames. Every picture looks cold despite the smile of the people inside them.

The door opens and if you haven’t been sure before, now you are definitely sure that things have changed. Your heart used to make somersault when you heard the keys jiggles from outside and your stomach used to churn to the thought of the man on the other side of the door. But now even as he stood in front of you, your eyes bore through him blankly.

They have left.

The love you had for him.

They left.

“What are you doing?” there he sat, looking extremely tired. Your heart wrench at the sight of him, knowing that he must have gone through a hard time, practicing and all. However you can no longer stand this.

“Let’s break up, Jaemin.”

It takes him about three seconds to process the words coming from you as you see his eyes widens gradually, hurt evident in his eyes. His shoulder slumps, though he said nothing but you were once his soulmate and though you declared that the love you had for him has left, you can feel the painful pang of his heart, mirroring yours.

It’s not easy for you either. It’s not that you didn’t want to understand.

Wait- no. You don’t want to understand anymore. You are tired of understanding and you’re tired of accepting this over and over again. He would apologize and you, because you love him and you believe he loves you so you take it, you accept his apology and you let them slip off your mind. You really want to stay but it has been eating you alive, this awful feeling.

“You- what?” he asks, seems like he refuses to believe that you had just uttered those words right to his face.

“Let’s break up, Jaemin. Let’s not torture each other anymore.” you propose through a pained voice, using every ounce of bravery because unlike Jaemin, you’re not strong. You’re not like him who thinks this can be settled through apology because unlike him, you’re not free.

You’re kept in the dark where no one knows of your existence except his members and his family. You’re kept away from the crowd even when his company is understanding about dating. He chose to keep you away, away from his fans because he simply couldn’t give up on his popularity.

Because dating you will bring him down. Because revealing you to the public will humiliate him, will cause a lot of fans to leave and will cause his downfall.

Because unlike him being your lucky charm, you’re his bad luck.

That’s what you have in your mind all the time. That’s what has been eating you alive, the insecurities and the self-guilt. The love you give him is what’s holding him back. The affection you shower him with is what’s ruining his future.

“But- why?”

You look at him longingly, wanting to capture every inch of him inside your head, etching them there so when you miss him, you can close your eyes and see him.

“I can’t do this anymore.”

“What-”

“I don’t want to be kept hidden anymore.”

And just like you’ve thought, shock is written all over his face.

“Am I not important enough for you to put aside your popularity, Jaemin? Am I meant to be kept in the dark for the past three years and more? Am I- are you ashamed of me, love? Are you ashamed that I’m not an idol just like the one your members are dating?”

You look at him struggling to form words. He looks so lost that it hurts you. It hurts you to hurt him like this. It hurts you to stab him with your insecurities but it’s been too long. It’s been too long and your insecurities are growing ugly-ly inside you.

“That’s not-”

“Then why?”

“Why can’t you hold me in the street?”

“Why can’t you show me to the world?”

“I just- I wish that- why can’t we be like that? I’m yours, Jaemin.”

“I’ve been yours for so long but it seems like I’m not. You’re not proud of me. You kept me in the dark and it’s not to protect me. It’s to protect you.” tears falling endlessly on your cheeks as you let yourself crumble.

Last time. It’s for the last time.

“We’ve had this argument over and over again, Jaemin. Every time I think of it, I feel like I’m being ridiculous. And we both know this. This is hopeless. If we talk about it again, it would feel like deja vu all over again and I’ll be back in your arms when you say sorry.”

“I don’t want to do this anymore.” you are on your knees, in front of him while you watch him falling apart because just like you, his soul resonates with yours. Because no matter how it seems like it’s his fault, you know that if you can be patient, if only you’re a bit more patient than these three years will be worth it. “But I can’t do this anymore, Jaemin.”

And when his calloused hands hold your jaw for you to look at him, you feel another crack inside you that you didn’t know your heart is still able to feel even more.

Because even if you said it over and over again, this love, this feeling you have for him, is never gone.

She’s never gone.

She’s just there, she’s sitting there at the deepest corner of your heart, crying her soul out because she loves Jaemin too much but it hurts her to hurt you even more.

You feel the chapped lips against yours and wetness, his tears and yours mixed together for the last time. His calloused hands feel so soft on your jaw as he thumbs the apple of your cheek and you know, as much as this hurts him, you know he only wants the best for you.

“Do you still love me?” Jaemin speaks against your lips, forehead on yours.

“Always, Jaemin.”

He nods, closing his eyes to let another stream of tears down his cheeks. “I’ll let you go, love.”

And the next thing you know is you’re shaking. You’re shaking in his arms, crying your heart out because even if this is what you want, it doesn’t mean you’re happy with it. But you know him and you know this is beyond his control. You know that even if you want him to man up and reveal your relationship, you don’t want to ruin his future. He has a bright future ahead and maybe, you’re not destined to be a part of it.

“I’m sorry, love.” Jaemin’s hug on you tightens and you soak his shirt with your tears. “I’m sorry for keeping you away for too long. I’m sorry for not being able to give you the love you deserve.”

You wail, utterly broken. “I’m so sorry that this hurts you deeply and I can’t do anything about it.”

“Thank you, love.” he states, pressing kisses on top of your head. “Thank you for staying, holding on for so long. Thank you for making me the happiest man.”

Jaemin cups your jaw, pressing another kiss to your lips, for the very last time. “Maybe in the future where I can control my life, I’ll meet you again, love.”

“I’ll find you again and I’ll love you right.”

“Thank you for the happiest three years, love.”

Copyright © 2021 jjpmoans. All rights reserved

[dreamescapeswriting]

One Summer In Paris ~ Finale ~ JJK [M]

WORD COUNT: 4.7K

GENRE: Fluffy, romance, ex-lovers to lovers, 

PAIRING: Jungkook x Fem!Reader

DESCRIPTION: Jeon Jungkook had always loved Paris with its amazing views, incredible museums and the small Bookshop right across from the Effiel Tower. It was were he spent a lot of his summer breaks as a kid so he loved it well into his adulthood. There was one bookshop he rented a room in the summer that changed his life. It was a place where he felt happy and at peace whenever he had the chance to stay there. Where he fell in love for the first time and had his first heartbreak, a lot of firsts for him were in Paris. But what happens when he goes back to the same book shop four years later and finds the love of his life in the arms of another with a daughter who looks suspiciously like him…

THEMES: SMUT CHAPTER Single Parent, Jungkook x Fem!Reader, self insert, Smut will be included in a later chapter

MASTERLIST || PREVIOUS || EPILOGUE

After a week of the boys being in Paris the news that Jungkook was a father was being spread throughout the internet and world through the corrected sources this time though. He had to do a formal interview with a magazine company who worked for BigHit and were under their payroll so that the right things were being spoken about. No-one was allowed to just come up to you or Areum in the street or there would be some serious consequences. The relationship between you and Jungkook was never announced since neither of you knew what was happening just yet. As far as the media was concerned you were close friends just raising your daughter to the best of your abilities.

After some investigating everything came to light on how Jungkook was found, it was a mixture of some teenage girl tweeting out a video asking if anyone else thought it looked like Jungkook as well as an “unknown” source. The unknown source came to light as David who’s ego had been bruised too badly that he decided to take it out on both you and Jungkook. Calling everyone he thought of, telling magazines online that he knew where Jungkook was. After one person saw it with the first photograph the teen had tweeted out the news spread like wildfire. David got what was coming to him though, Bighit were suing him for slander against Jungkook.

 All of the magazines painted him as the good guy who had no idea that his daughter existed and you were painted to be the girl who didn't know who Jungkook was at the time of the relationship, it was easier and less messy that way. The world didn't need to know all of the details about your lives together, they didn't need to know every aspect of what you and Jungkook went through. 

"What are you thinking about?" Jungkook questioned when he saw you looking at Areum with Taehyung and Namjoon - they were playing dress-up after just getting back from Disney land that day. The boys had insisted on taking her - along with guards so no one would bother them. 

"How different her life is going to be now." You admitted as Jungkooked wrapped his arms around your body and laid his chin on your shoulder. Things with Jungkook had been a little on and off for the last week neither of you had enough time or space to talk about what was happening. You acted like a real couple but you weren't enterally sure what you were since he was famous...The father of your daughter but it didn't mean you were or weren't dating. 

"Jungkook what-" 

"Let me take you out tonight," You spoke at the same time but you stopped your sentence first and stared into his eyes wondering what to say to him, you were going to ask him what you were together but now he was asking you out on a date.

"What-What?" You stuttered out turning your whole body to look at him this time ignoring everyone else that was in the room with you. 

"Let me take you out, just you and me...Please?" Jungkook had been trying to think of a way to talk to you about life and how things were going to be from now on all week and this was the only way he could think of doing it properly. He'd put so much thought into everything and he was finally ready to have a serious conversation about it all. 

"I didn't think you were allowed to go out publically." You whispered as you thought back to his manager telling him off for trying to sneak out a couple of nights ago. He shrugged his shoulders looking over at his manager who was reading through what everyone was thinking of Jungkook and his family on his tablet. That was what you were, you were a family even if you weren't together anymore...or yet. Some fans had reacted better than others, others claimed that you were faking, Areum wasn't truly his but if anyone took the time to look at Areum or spend time with her they would be able to tell she was in fact related to Jungkook. 

"I'm not but, who said it has to be public...Trust me okay? I'll make this all perfect." You sighed thinking about it for a second, it would be nice to get out of the hotel you seemed to have been stuck in all week. Management had moved you in once the scandal dropped, the shop had been closed since - you wondered what Grace had been thinking about all of this but at the same time after what she told you about what she said to Jungkook, a part of you didn't care.

"I trust you," He smiled leaning forward to kiss your cheek before he made his way over to their manager, you watched him for a couple of seconds before deciding to go and rescue Namjoon and Taehyung from the makeup your daughter had gotten that day. 

"My little princess seems to have turned the princes into princesses." You giggled as you swooped Areum up into your arms and blew a raspberry onto her shoulder playfully, she screamed wildly shouting that you were a dragon trying to steal the princess away. 

"We'll save you!" Taehyung announced loudly pulling out a fake foam sword as he started to hit you on the leg with it but you laughed evilly and ran away with Areum.

Jungkook kept his hands over your eyes as he leads you through the bookshop, you knew where he was taking you since you both had to run away from the hotel while the boys distracted the manager.

"Fuck," You groaned as your arm came into contact with the fifth bookshelf in a row, Jungkook hissed as he flinched. He didn't mean to bang you into every shelf in the shop, in his head this had gone over a lot smoother.

"Sorry." He mumbled as he carefully sat you down on the blanket he had laid out for you already. He'd snuck off to the bookshop earlier that afternoon to make sure everything was ready and now he could finally bring you back here. He was trying to recreate one of your dates together and have it be a nice little surprise. 

"You can open them in a second, hang on." He made sure your eyes were closed before rushing off to turn the main lights off in the store. 

"Open," Your eyes slowly fluttered open and you looked around at the shop floor letting your eyes adjust to the dim lighting. You were snuggled in between two bookshelves, a picnic blanket was on the floor surrounded by small battery-operated candles you knew what he was doing the second you saw it all. 

"Jungkook-" You looked up at him and that was when you spotted the fairy lights lining the top of the shelves to look like a starry night sky. You gasped as your eyes began to well up with tears, he was recreating a night you spent out by the river under the stars. You'd fallen asleep in his arms and he had to carry you home, it was also the night you gave him a tattoo. A small one on his arm just above the inside of his elbow, your initials.

"I got all your favourite foods as well if they're still your favourite. I mean I don't know if you changed it I heard that pregnancy can sometimes effect-" He was cut off when you kissed his lips softly to stop him from nervously rambling on about the food inside of the picnic basket. 

When you pulled away from his lips you looked into his eyes and whispered to him

"This is perfect," He began turning a bright red which made you giggle at the thought that a simple and small kiss could do that to him. It was good to know that you still had that kind of effect on him. 

"Thanks for this," You whispered again as he handed you a small plate and began to load it up with different foods you'd told him you loved before. 

Hours later you were just laying together talking over things when he asked you a question, 

"Do you remember our last date...Before I left?" You were both laying on the floor staring up at the fairy lights, your head was resting on his arm as he questioned you on random things about his time there. The date had been going amazingly so far, there were no phone calls from the boys, no one had tried to interrupt you and it just felt as though nothing had changed over the last four years. As if he hadn't been away and there was a huge fight with one another. It was exactly the way it was supposed to be. How things should have stayed if you had told him. 

"Was that the one where we came back and slept in front of the fireplace?" You questioned him as you popped a piece of popcorn into his mouth, he hummed while nodding his head at you. 

"Yeah I remember it," You started giggling as you remembered Jungkook that night. He'd been so nervous about something that he'd knocked wine all over the floor and all down your dress. 

"You covered me in red wine," You started laughing again and he nervously laughed about it scratching the back of his neck as he remembered it, 

"I was going to tell you that night that I loved you...Then I was going to come clean about who I was...I was always going to tell you, Y/n." Your heart stopped as you heard him admitting this to you. All these years you thought that he never told you because he didn't trust you or something, 

"You were?" He nodded his head as he started to play with your hair, he couldn't bring himself to look at you as he admitted all of this. 

"I was so nervous about it that I spilt drinks, my palms were sweating and I couldn't breathe. I told you when you were asleep though," He chuckled pathetically making his chest rise and fall, you turned to lay on your side facing him and put your head on his chest just laying there as you giggled softly. 

"Doesn't really count if I'm asleep," He smiled weakly as he began rubbing your lower back with his hand just enjoying his time with you while he could. 

The two of you sat there in silence for a few more seconds before you looked down at the floor beside him and bit your lip, 

"I didn't know I was pregnant when I saw you last...I said it to hurt you...I-I didn't know." He looked at you as you began to frown at the floor, 

"I knew you weren't like that so I figured as much." You sniffled a little and sat up as you looked at him seriousness coming into the atmosphere now. 

"I-I wanted to tell you but I didn't know how to get into contact with you." He watched as you seemed to look in pain as you told him this, it had been something that had been weighing on your chest for a while since you told him that and you hated yourself for doing it to him. 

"We didn't really end on good terms...I should have tried to contact you as well...I really do love you Y/n-" He stopped as he realised he said "love" instead of the past tense. It was true. He'd been in love with you since the moment he laid eyes on you, he'd never believed in love at first sight until then. He'd always had it set in his mind that when he met the love of his life he would hear alarm bells but instead of alarm bells when he met you it was the church bells and a whole choir singing loudly so he could hear and know it was you.

"I-I love you too." Your eyes were wide at first but you knew it was true, there was no one else that you could ever love more than Jungkook - other than Areum but that was a different kind of love. There was no one else in the world that was more perfect for you. 

It happened suddenly, you were laid below Jungkook as he kissed you passionately, his hands keeping him pressed above you while your hands worked their way into his hair. 

"I love you," He whispered against your lips as he kissed you again, you giggled pulling him down closer to your lips. 

"I love you too," He smirked hearing the words leave your mouth he never wanted you to stop saying them to him, 

"Say it again," He whined out desperately as you pulled back from the kiss to look him in the eyes.

"I love you Jeon Jungkook," He smiled brightly bringing you into another kiss, the sparks from before all still there. The same church bells and choir singing loudly for him to know that this was real, this is where his heart belonged.

An intense makeout session lead to you sitting on the floor of the book shop now holding a stick and poke tattoo kit Jungkook had brought along with him again, just like the first time you gave him a tattoo. 

"This is insane, you can go and get a real one Guk." You looked at him nervously and he shook his head waiting for you to just tattoo him. This meant more to him than going to have a real one done, 

"I want you to be the one to do this," He admitted as he handed you everything you needed. He'd show you what he wanted done on his arm, 

"Where?" You questioned looking at Areum's name written in a fancy font on a piece of paper. He stripped out of his shirt to reveal his tattooed arms and you couldn't help but look at them all. Wanting to know every story to each and every one of them but then your eyes found his first one. The small one that you'd done before, 

"I want it here," He whispered pointing to the blank space below your initials on his arm, as soon as you saw the initials you felt a warm feeling spread all over your body.

"Y-You didn't cover it?" He shook his head as your eyes welled up with tears, the thought of him keeping a part of you with him all the time made you want to cry. 

"I-I kept your shirt..." You admitted as your tears began to leave your eyes, your vision returning to normal as you took hold of the kit and got ready to tattoo him. He had a huge smile on his face as he thought about you snuggled into his shirt whenever you missed him or something. 

"You're sure?" You questioned as you held his arm in your hand referring to the tattoo once again, 

"Positive," With that you began inking his arm with the tools while holding him steady, apologising every three seconds in case it was hurting him too much.

"It's perfect," He whispered as you applied some tattoo goo he'd brought along with him before placing the tattoo under some cling film to keep it protected for the first night. 

"Just like her," You whispered as you stared at your handy work, it looked really good to say you'd only ever done small ones before. 

"She is," Jungkook chuckled while holding your hand in his. The air was silent but it wasn't the awkward kind, it was just a nice silenced between you both before he began leaning into you again. 

"Say it again." He begged as he looked into your eyes. You knew what he was talking about without him saying it, it was all he ever wanted to hear from now on. 

"No, I've said it all night." You groaned jokingly as you tried to push him away from you but he dragged you to sit on his lap and whispered it in your ear as he kisses your neck softly. 

"Say it," He begged while kissing down your jaw, each kiss making you needier each second. 

"Say it." He growled pulling you down on his lap harder making you whimper, this time it was an order and you pushed your hands into his hair whimpering as he kissed your neck.

"I, Y/n Y/l/n love you, Jeon Jungkook." He smirked before kissing up to your lips and kissing you roughly, you bit down on his lip playfully earning a groan from him and you giggled. 

"Fuck, I love you too, I love you so much Y/n," He whimpered as he laid your down below him on the floor, you wrapped your legs around his waist not wanting him to go away just yet but he didn't. He ran his tongue along your bottom lip and you granted him access, allowing his tongue to explore your mouth while you sucked on it a little bit. He ground his hips down into you while smirked, you moaned as you felt how hard he was behind the jeans he was wearing. 

"Needy?" You teased running your hand down the front of his chest before palming him through the rough fabric of his pants, 

"Very." He grunted as you began to undo his belt buckle, pushing him to lay down on the floor as you worked your way out of his jeans. 

"W-What are you doing-" He groaned loudly as you took him from his boxer and began massaging him in your hand, he was so much bigger than you remembered and his tip was bright red. 

"So needy baby," You cooed at him before looking up into his eyes, he watched you, infatuated with what you were going to do. 

"P-Please-" Your tongue began licking small but fast strokes on his head, paying more attention to his slit which was already dripping with precum. You placed the tip into your mouth sucking him clean while he threw his head back against the floor and moaned out your name. 

"Fuck please...I-I need more," You looked up at him while pumping him in your hand, he looked so breathtaking laid out for you like this. Needy and begging for you, you licked the underside of his cock from base to tip making sure to coat him in enough salvia so you could glide him in and out of your mouth with his but he moaned out as soon as you touched him. 

"Shit baby-" As soon as your mouth was around his cock it was as if a switch had gone off in his mind, he was no longer the whining and begging boy he'd just been for you but now he was grunted and finding it hard to control himself. 

You could see he was debating taking your head in his hands so you reached for his hands while you bobbed your head slowly, you placed his hands into your hair and nodded slight giving him the all-clear to take over. 

"Fuck I love you so fucking much." He forced your head down until your nose was pressed against his groin, you held back the gag and tears wanting him to feel as much pleasure as possible and he moaned out. Moving your head softly with his hands as he began to buck up into your mouth, 

"So fucking warm, I bet you're dripping aren't you." He smirked watching the way you avoided his gaze, he continued thrusting into your mouth as you whined out around him sending vibrations through his body. 

"Fuck, pull off baby, pull off," You pulled away and a sad expression appeared on your face, you wiped your lips instantly thinking you'd done something wrong when he attacked you with hungry kisses. Ripping your shirt open before removing your skirt in what seemed like one movement. You were left in your black panties and matching bra, 

"Expecting something tonight?" He chuckled while playing with the band of your panties, you shook your head so he ripped the panties off throwing the thin fabric somewhere in the shop. 

"Jungkook! That was my only good pair." He pushed you down onto the floor, pulling your ass into the air while keeping your chest flat on the floor. 

"I'll buy you some new ones," He whispered as he bent down to admire your core, smirking as he watched just how wet you were. 

"You always were so needy for me," He smirked running one finger over your folds making your hips buck for more but he held you in place, 

"If you're a good girl, good things will come." He placed a kiss on your core making you whine out and close your eyes tightly. 

"Please," You practically begged him and so he pushed his tongue into you making your eyes widen at the feeling, it had been so long since you'd had anything nearly as passionate as this. He hummed into your cunt before swirling his tongue inside of you, using his thumb to attack your clit. 

"So fucking wet, you taste so good baby girl," The name made you clench around his two fingers that were buried knuckle deep inside of you. 

"You like that? You like it when I call you baby girl?" He questioned pushing his fingers in and out of you roughly while you whimpered below him not being able to form words from the feeling of him.

"I'm taking that as a yes," He chuckled wickedly before pushing his tongue back into your cunt, moaning into your whenever you'd clench around his tongue. 

"Ugh shit, Jungkook!" You screamed out gripping onto the blanket below you as you came unexpectedly and out of nowhere onto his tongue. Your body slipped leaving you to lay down on the blanket, your ass still in the air just a little, 

"Good girl," He whispered turning you around to face him, you licked your lips as you roughly brought him down into another kiss trying to position him between your legs. You wanted to feel him inside of you, you wanted to feel him filling your walls up the way he used to.

"U-Agh fucking Jesus," Jungkook moaned as he slowly pushed into you, he kept himself steady holding himself in place at your hilt as you tried to adjust to him again. You could feel every inch of him inside of you which already made your head spin at the thought of it. The number of times you'd brought yourself to the edge just thinking about him touching you instead of yourself was never enough. You could never make yourself feel the way he was making you feel right now.

"M-Move," You whispered to him before kissing him roughly again, he followed your orders and began to push in and out of you slowly at first making you moan into his mouth. 

"So tight," He grunted taking your right leg and putting it over his shoulder, the sudden movement making you cry out in pleasure as he hit you deeper than before. 

"T-There, T-There! Right there." You repeated as he continued to hit you at that same spot over and over again making you cry out, you ran your nails down his bare back and he smirked as you clenched with each thrust. 

"That's it, baby, let me feel you do that again." He roughly slammed into you holding himself in place and you screamed out his name rolling your head back and arching your back off the floor. 

"JUNGKOOK!" Nothing could compare to this, he continued to roughly hit into that spot that made your eyes roll back and the fairy lights look like real stars. 

"F-Faster...M-More, need more." You whimpered wanting him to hit that exact spot more and more with each thrust and he moaned back at you as he began to change his pace. Swiftly pushing in and out of you roughly watching the way your head rolled back and you moaned out his name. 

"S-Shit baby, I- I can't keep this up." He admitted as he began rubbing your clit with his thumb and your whole body began to shake, your thighs aching as you could feel the pressing orgasm begin to rise up in your body.

"C-Cum...I-I wanna cum...F-Feel you cum," Your sentence was a mess as were you but you were begging for him to cum and to let you cum. 

"Together?" He whispered while kissing you softly not matching his thrusts which were still rough and quick, you managed to nod while moaning out his name and he smirked feeling you getting closer with him. 

"S-Shit," You cried out as his thumb began to rub your clit in rougher circles, tugging on it a little making you whimper and gasp as your orgasm began to build. The tightness in your stomach grew tighter until you snapped around him, your legs wrapping around his waist to hold him deep inside of you as you came around his length. 

"Jungkook, shit." You whimpered out as he kissed you roughly, cumming into you as you held him deep, your walls clenching around him even after you came down from your high. 

The fireplace was crackling as you laid in front of it, naked and sprawled out beside Jungkook who was sweating from the activities you'd just done again for the sixth time that night. There was one thing playing on your minds though, one lingering thought that neither of you wanted to talk about but had to talk about sooner or later. That was about him going home. Going to Korea.

"We have to talk about something," He whispered as you laid your head down on his sweaty chest nodding along to him, you knew what was coming. 

"I have to go soon...But I don't want this to end...I don't want to be away from you and Areum." The thought had crossed your mind about how this would all work out, being in different countries while you shared a daughter and were hopelessly in love with one another.

"I don't want to be away from you either." You admitted as you looked up into his eyes, resting your chin on his chest as you stared into his eyes. 

"W-Well what- What if you-" You knew what he was trying to say and ask of you and again the thought had crossed your mind, all of the positives about it but then all of the negatives came along with it. 

"Move to Korea?" You questioned to make sure you were on the same page as him. He nodded his head slowly while linking your hands with his and starting at you sadly, 

"I-I wouldn't know how to do that...W-What if things go bad between us what-"

"Ignore the what-ifs, this...This is perfect. What we have it right..." You knew he was right on that part, there was nothing that could happen between you and Jungkook that could break you apart anymore. You were hopelessly in love with him and nothing was ever going to change that.

"I wouldn't know how to move to another country...I-I don't even speak much Korean, how would Areum go to school." You sat up as you panicked thinking about everything but Jungkook took your arms in his hands and shook his head. 

"We can fix that, I can make things work...She can be homeschooled, We can look into visa's and stuff." He whispered trying to reassure you that everything would be okay, the longer he held you the more you knew it was the right thing to do and the more you thought that nothing could go wrong with this, with him by your side. 

"I suppose there are lots of huge book stores in Korea I could get a job in..." He smiled brightly as he heard you calming down and began to talk about what you could do there. You'd always expressed your love for travelling and you'd never been before.

"I-I'll have to talk to Areum about it and Grace...I'll need to find someone that will take the shop..." You began planning out what was going to happen in your head but Jungkook just brought you into a soft and loving kiss as he pulled you close to him again. 

"Everything will work out, I promise." He whispered as he leant down to kiss you once again, running his hands up your sides as he got excited over the thought of getting to live out the rest of his life with you.

A/n: This fic was super short and sweet but I hope you guys enjoyed it!  Thank you to those who took the time to read it! I hope you can enjoy any future works I aim to put out 🥰💞 It will probably be a while until my next series as I’m working on a Stray Kids Minho one!

MASTERLIST || PREVIOUS || EPILOGUE

Tagline: @lyoongx @mitzwinchester @fan-ati--c @taestannie @kneel-begyourpardon @rjsmochii @bisexualmess007​ @innersooya​ @sw33tnight​ @sweeneyblue1​ @jin-from-the-block​ @neverthefirstchoice​ @jikooksgirl19​ @jungkooksseuphoria​ @queenmasterxx​ @oosnapitskat​ @janieooo​ @preciouschimine​    @koremis​ @keijilovebot​ @silscintilla​ @mayafravoli

[insomniamamma]

“Surf City Goodness”: Ezra x F!reader w/Cee

A/n: This is the same AU as “Ferris Wheels Are for Old People” and “Liminal” but you don’t have to read those to read this one. Ezra loses his arm in an automobile accident which kills his brother, Damon and orphans his niece, Cee. Reader lives across the street from Ezra and they’ve been friendly for sometime but now it’s something more. Set after  “Ferris Wheels Are For Old People” This is for @autumnleaves1991-blog​ and @clydesducktape​ ‘s Writer Wednesday.

Warnings: Language. Mentions of sex. Mentions of drug abuse.  Mentions of traumatic injury/surgical scars. Mentions of Reader’s ex.  Cee needs her own warning, but mostly this is just fluff. Ez and Cee and Reader enjoy a trip to the beach. I will include some songs from Cee’s playlist at the end.

          Iggy Pop's voice warbles out of the speakers. "I wanna go to the beach, I don't care if it's decadent, I don't know where my spirit went, but that's alright..."          "This seems a bit bleak, Birdie," says Ezra.          "Quit your griping, you'll get your surf city goodness soon enough," says Cee and grins. Part of the deal they've worked out is that Cee gets to pick the music for any road trip longer than two hours, otherwise it's NPR until the signal fades and then whatever classic rock they can pick up. The three of you are crammed in the cab of Ezra's battered Ford Ranger. Cee is the smallest so she sits in the middle. The truck's bed is full of gear, air mattresses and sleeping bags and towels, a cooler filled with food and another filled with beer. I don't know what conditions we'll find exactly, Ez told you, We haven't been back here in some time.          "If there's spiders I'm sleeping in the truck," you said and Ezra smiled, and pressed his remaining hand over his heart.          "Never fear, Sunshine, I will protect your from our arachnid friends."

         "Hey Sunshine!" Ezra calls from his front porch. You look up from your laptop to see Ezra and Cee laden with grocery bags.          "Hey, Ez, you need a hand?" He smirks. This is an old joke between the two of you. When Ezra first came home, with Cee and without his arm, they were unloading Cee and Damon's things, bags and boxes and you, without thought had asked if he needed a hand, it just came out and you'd clapped your hands to your mouth, and then spluttered, I'm so sorry I didn't mean--and Ezra laughed, of course I need a hand. I'm down to just the one.          "Always," he says. You loop the plastic bags over your arms, sweating packages laden with ground beef and bratwursts and chicken thighs.          "You all having a party?"          "We're going to the beach," says Cee. "You should come with us. It'll be fun."            "Jesus, Cee," he mutters and then collects himself and smiles, "I had meant to ask you before this one jumped the gun-"          "It's fine. Really."          "You still working remotely?" asks Ezra.          "For now. There's some talk about keeping my department remote."          "Good thing or bad thing?"          "Good thing," you say, "I like working in my pajamas."          "Good thing because you could come with us," says Ezra.          "Ez--"          "I'm dead serious," he says, "Cee's got a four day weekend. We've got decent internet. Damon saw to that before...well, before. Mind you, this will probably be something of a working vacation. Ma's house has stood empty sometime. Damon used to keep it up but..." Ezra trails off. It's a small town. Damon's drug problems were more or less public knowledge. You think of the files you still need to edit, but for once you're ahead of the game. None of that is due until midway through next week. You've got some wiggle room if things go south.          "Yeah? Yeah, fuck it. I'm coming with." Ezra smiles wide, revealing his dimples. And that's how you end up in the cab of Ezra's beat-to-shit truck listening to Cee's fun and somewhat baffling playlist.

         "Talk to me, baby,I'm goin' blind from this sweet, sweet craving, whoa-oh, Let's lose our minds and go fucking crazy, I-I-I-I-I keep on hopin' we'll eat cake by the ocean..."          "Is this a parody?" Asks Ezra, "Like a Weird Al Yankovic thing?"          "No," says Cee, "It's an actual song. One of the Jonas brothers did it."          "Someone greenlit and recorded this on purpose."          "Yep."          "A song. About eating cake on a beach." Cee gives you a sly look.          "It's a metaphor, Ez," she says, "They're eating something but it's not cake." You have to hold in a laugh, watching the gears in Ezra's brain grind, watching his eyes go big.          "Ohmygod! Cee!" Cee cackles and you snort laughter. "You are fifteen years old! You are a minor child! You should not be going there! You should not even know that there exists!" Ezra's cheeks go red. Cee is wheezing, eyes screwed shut with laughter, her own cheeks flaming, "You. Should see. Your face," she says.          "It's not funny!"          "Oh, it's funny," you say, "She got you good."          "Come on, Ez," says Cee, "You think I can't recognize a poorly veiled sexual reference when I hear one? It doesn't take a genius--"          "You are a terror," says Ezra, and Cee grins, proud of the title, "And you--" he arcs and eyebrow in your direction--"Are not helping matters." You give him your brightest smile.          "What can I say? I thought it was just a song about some goofballs eating cake by the ocean." He huffs, but you can see the smirk creeping up his cheek as he drives.

         The house at the end of the driveway is small, a cottage really, single storied and built up on stilts like the others around it, painted a faded robin's egg blue with white trim. The garage is underneath the house, room enough for one car and next to it is a room built to shelter the water heater and plumbing. A wooden staircase snakes up to a deck that wraps the entire structure. Sea grass sprouts in clumps from the sand. It's hot inside, a stale heat, and the first thing you do is open all the windows.          "I think there's a couple box fans in the storage space," says Ezra, "I'll go fetch them."          The back deck overlooks the ocean, pale expanse of sand and the gentle lap of blue-green sea, a wooden staircase reaches down to the sand below. The day is bright and hot and shot through with high cirrus clouds. You and Ezra have stripped the sheets from the beds and popped them in the washer, loaded the dishwasher, put fans in the windows.          "This is cleaner than I expected," says Ezra, "Maybe Damon cared more than I gave him credit for." Ezra's face clouds. You take his hand, squeeze his fingers in yours. You know little about Damon other than the town gossip and what Ezra himself has told you. You don't understand the convolutions of their relationship, you just know that Damon is a slow-healing wound, and that it does Ezra no good to pick at it. You tug at him.          "C'mon. Let's get changed. Cee's already got her suit on."

         "Turn around, Birdie, let me get your back." Cee rolls her eyes but does as she's asked. Ezra sprays sunscreen across her bony shoulders and rubs it in.          "I found a boogie board under the deck," says Cee, "And some toys from when I was real small. I found those floaty things you all used to put on my arms, remember those?"          "I do," says Ezra, "Damon chucked you into the surf without so much as a by-your-leave. It scared the hell out of Ma but you laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world. You're good to go, Little Bird."          "Thanks, Ez." And she's down the stairs, heading towards the surf.          "Your turn, Sunshine," he says and you turn your back to him. He presses a kiss against the juncture of your neck and shoulder, that one place that makes you squirm and shiver, right on the line between erogenous and ticklish.          "Menace--" you say and then squawk when the cold spray hits you, soothed by the passage of his calloused palm across your shoulders, gently gripping the nape of your neck, and you lean back against him briefly, relishing his solidity, his warmth, his hand rests lightly on your hip.          "Let me get your back," you say. Ezra turns his back to you and shucks out of his t-shirt. He's already ditched his prosthetic arm. Don't know how seaworthy it is, he'd said, as expensive as it was I don't care to find out. You shake the can of sunscreen and blast him with it.          "Christ! That's cold!"          "We gotta make sure Cee reapplies after a couple hours," you say, smoothing your hands over his broad back, relishing the slide of his tanned skin beneath your palms, "She'll burn to a crisp otherwise." You press your fingers into the tight muscles of his neck and he makes a contented sound like a purr in his chest.          "You're always so tense right here," you say and dig your fingers in, feeling the thrumming muscles loosen somewhat under your touch. Ezra leans back into you as you did to him moments ago, your arms snake around his shoulders, tuck your face against the side of his neck. This thing with you and Ezra is soft and languid and you're not sure how to define it. This is not the fevered, clawed territory of young lovers, the sort of push and pull you had with your ex, the idea that love had to keep proving itself somehow. With Ezra there is nothing to prove. He seems content to ride this gentle wave, to let things play out in their own time.          "Turn around," you murmur against his skin, "Not done with you yet."          "Now, I am perfectly capable of applying--" he starts, but you see his eyes drop, and know it for what it is. You've known Ezra for a while. The two of you were always friendly, since you moved in across the street from him. Ezra before was even more exuberant, had a swagger about him, confidence in his own skin that is only just now trying starting to return. Ezra before would preen under your gaze if he caught you looking at him while he repainted his deck or put down mulch in his garden, Ezra now shrinks from your eyes. You can see the self-doubt seep in. The worry about his scars, that the loss of his arm makes him less, somehow.          "I know," you say, "Maybe I just want an excuse to get handsy." He arcs an eyebrow at you, that brief flash of doubt replaced with his more familiar smug smirk.          "Well, have at it, by all means," he says. You spray him with the sunscreen and start rubbing it in, smoothing over his freckled shoulders, down his upper arms, mindful of the tender skin at the end of his stump, the dips of his clavicles, his broad chest, littered in angry pink scars that shout in contrast to the rest of his skin. Punched indentations along his ribs where they'd stuck in tubes to drain the air and blood out of his collapsed lungs. You work your way down along his soft belly and back up his sides, a hissed intake of breathe and you stop.          "Does that hurt?"          "Nah. Tickles."          "Mmm-hmmm. I'll have to remember that so I can use it to my advantage later."          "Oh and I'm the menace," he says, his arm curls low around your hip, pulling you nearly flush with him, and you complete the motion, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him tight against you, your chin notched over his shoulder. Cee is creeping up the stairs with a battered plastic bucket in her hands. She shoots you a grin and you know exactly what she has in mind. You back up a little, cup Ezra's stubbled cheeks in your hands and kiss the tip of his nose.          "Surprise," you say and take a big step back. There's just time enough for that little furrow to start between his brows and then Cee dowses him, a whole bucket of seawater poured directly over his head. He splutters. His eyes go big and round. Cee is doubled over laughing.          "Oh," he says, blinking salt water out of his eyes, "Oh that's it. Today's the day, Cee! I am going to drown you!"          "Gotta catch me first, old man!" says Cee and pelts down the beach. You run after them, their bright laughter peals through the warm summer air. Ezra grabs Cee and dunks her into an oncoming wave. She emerges splashing great fans into Ezra's face.          "It is only proper that I took my vengeance," says Ezra, holding his hands out to deflect the spray.          "I don't think the Geneva conventions apply here, you douche-canoe," says Cee.          "Oi! That language--" This is your opening. You grab Ezra around his waist and push off backward into the oncoming wave, pulling him down with you. The two of you come back up, coughing and laughing, arms slung around each other. There's no shadow in Ezra's eyes now, you press your lips to his, the waves roll over you, the tide dragging at your bodies while you and him remain still. Press of your lips to his, your tongue licks out and tastes salt on his lips and he opens for you, his hand cupping the back of your head, guiding you against him, his tongue stroking against yours, no battle for dominance, this, just the plush heat of his mouth, the heave of your chests when you finally break apart, waist deep in the ocean.          "I--" says Ezra and Cee's splash hits at face level.          "Gotcha!" she crows, and starts running.          "You miserable little rat!" He hollers, chasing her through the surf. You stand hip deep in the water and laugh. You're not sure what you and Ezra are to each other. Lovers? Friends? Family? Whatever it this is, it feels right and good. It feels like being home.

A/n: Here is a sampling of Cee’s beach trip playlist:

“I Want To Go To The Beach” by Iggy Pop

“Telstar” by The Tornados

“Cake By The Ocean” by DNCE

“Rockaway Beach” by The Ramones

“Misirlou” by Dick Dale and his Del-Tones

[savagenutella46]

Who I’d Be - 2 of 2

Part 1 <- did I do that right? Sorry in advance.

Inspired by m3owww’s statue of ice

"She can't know, Timmy." Marinette whispers, wincing at the tight grip Tim has on her elegant green-silk dress, clutching it so hard wrinkles begin to form. Janet will have her head for those later.

They're standing in the corner, shouldered off from the rest of the Gala by a lone velvet curtain covering the long window sitting beside them, while Tim grasps onto her dress and pleads.

"Why not? She'd love to come! She'd be so proud of you." Marinette winced again, the wholly untruth of those words invisible to her twelve-year old brother, who's eyes are so innocent and excited. She looks down at him with a brief smile, and gently extracts her dress from his hold.

"Timothy." A pointed look, to show she is done with arguing with him about the conversation. "I assure you, Janet will not know of the exhibit prior to your mouth, so you will do your best to shut it." Formal language with Tim will always turn the sparkle off in his eye, the excited glint disappearing, and as much as it brings a hammering wallow to her heart, she swallows the regret harshly down her throat.

"Look, Tim. She's never been a fan of my photography. She would rather go to your parent-teacher conference." She plasters on a fake smile as she says the words, and they practically grind against her teeth as they fall out of her mouth.

He's been begging her to tell their mother about the photography exhibit for days on end now, and she can't give in now. He doesn't know about what happened to her old camera, and he never will. It was in pieces by the end of dinner, that day.

Tim sags his shoulders and sighs, putting on an unimpressed look at the mention of parent-teacher conferences. "Whatever." He turns around and reenters the ongoing Gala without another word.

Marinette swallows her plea for him to come back, please, and sighs. She looks down at the wrinkles in her—

—satin dress, and Janet, an almost unnoticeable twitch of her jaw, displays her disdain for the tiny creases at her hip. Marinette breathes a sigh of relief and feels a drop of sweat roll down the side of her neck when Janet turns back to the fellow business partner she had been conversing with before Marinette caught her attention by walking back into the room.

"Are you okay?" She flinches at the unexpected hand on her shoulder—jumps a little too noticeably to just be nerves, settling once she notes the hand is smaller than Jack's.

Marinette turns around, and suddenly, her vision is spilled over with a bright worried blue peering into her own eyes, searching for anything and everything, leaving her bare, almost as if they were stripping the secrets from her very own soul.

She must've looked surprised, because the voice quickly started to speak again, soothing her downtrodden nerves with a surprisingly gentle voice. "Sorry, you looked backed up for a moment there." Marinette clears her throat and spares a quick—panicked—glance back at Janet's back before settling back on the boy, who's followed her gaze with an almost imperceptible furrow in his eyebrow.

"It's fine, did you need something?" The boy's lips quirk up for a second before flickering his gaze down to her midsection and up again.

"Your hands are bleeding." Marinette's eyebrows shoot up, tearing away her eyes from the boy to take a glance at her clenched hands, where her nails have penetrated the skin and blood was oozing out.

"Oh," She breathes, and unclenches the fingers from their grip to reveal crescent-shaped welts in the heel of her palms. The boy takes a warm and surprisingly gentle hand to each of hers and begins to tug her along the floor, almost bumping into several ladies with long, expensive dresses who each took a turn to glare at her once they saw who was dragging her.

Huh, they must not be a fan of this guy.

"So, what's your name?" She turns her gaze back to him, and he's already peering at her with a slight turn of his head and a tiny grin. She never knew such a small upturn of lips could convey so much emotion, so much gentleness, but she finds herself not wanting to tear her eyes away from it.

"Oh, Uh—Marinette, Marinette Drake."

"Jason Todd." She swallows harshly as she realizes just who he is.

"You—"

"Yeah. Not really a big deal." He turns his head back to watch where he's going, and she finds herself going cold under the loss of Jason's gaze. Marinette mentally scolds herself and lets him pull her into a secluded room away from the Gala, momentarily breaking away to grab a first-aid kit from a fancy wooden cabinet.

Jason rummages through the white kit, "That woman, she's your mom?" She can almost decipher an undertone of scorn from his voice. Marinette coughs and looks away, a prickly feeling rattling its way up her arms and fingers at the slightly mention of her mother.

"Yes." The painting on the beige walls looks very interesting right now as she feels the weight of his piercing stare on her shoulders.

"Figured. She was lookin' at you real weird. Like she wanted to shoot an arrow in between your eyeballs." Marinette's head snaps back to Jason, and he has a skeptical look on his face, like he thinks...

No. He's wrong.

Whatever he's thinking, it's wrong.

—But, still, it hurts to wonder.

"You know, I've heard about Jack and Janet Drake, but I've never heard of you. Just Tim, that's his name, right?" She nods, turning her gaze back to the small wrinkles in her once magnificent green dress.

"I tend to keep out of the limelight. Less people to judge me." She hears a huff of laughter from right in front of her, and looks back up to see Jason kneeling before her hands, gently taking both of them in his warm hands, wiping away the blood with a cotton ball.

"I understand that. Still weird though, never would've guessed you even existed if I hadn't seen you right in front of me." The atmosphere around them was slowly starting to get uncomfortable, and Marinette feels as if a frog jumped in her throat and planted itself at the base of her lungs, scratching and strangling her.

"W-weird." She'd never been one for receiving public praise or glory. Never had her parents talk about her with a twinkle in their eye and a found sense of pride in their voice and posture, as if she were the best thing in their lives. No, instead they confined Marinette to her bedroom to waste away.

(What they didn't know, there was a rope she would swing down from her vast window, escaping through the abundant gardens to escape to the library.)

Jason hums in agreement, but not without a disbelieving glance in her direction. Not like she was looking anyway, feeling a nervous sweat start to form on the back of her neck as she stated hard at his hands, who are making their way back down to his own lap.

"All good." She wishes it could be that easy. To slap a bandaid on all the things that made her worthless, and finish the whole ordeal off with an “all good”.

But, no. This is not an “ordeal”. This is her livelihood, her existence. She is—

Who is she?

She’s putting up her photography on her appointed wall space. Snapshots of Gotham at her finest, smog floating through the air, the dim glow of lights as they spill onto the leaf-littered streets. The assault of dirty rain, like cold, hard truth spilling onto the leaves of sweet lies she almost surrounds herself with.

Because she defines herself with photography. She defines herself into computers, hacking the Pentagon at least twice a week.

But, photography without her, it stays the same. Marinette without a passion, she dies and wilts away under the scornful glare of her mother. She is hated, worthless, disgusting, mortifying to mention, as if the utter of her name will bring disgrace upon the Drakes.

Marinette is wearing her finest dress. Leaf-like structures sewn into the bodice, streaking their way down her waist and puffing out to follow the soft ivory dress.

“Woah.” Marinette could’ve sworn, even as someone stands very obviously behind her, looking over her shoulder, that she did not tell a soul about this exhibit.

—Except Barbara Gordon. Marinette turns around, and Barbara appears to be ethereal before her own eyes, ginger hair curled and spilling like a waterfall down her back. A deep mahogany dress fits around her, as if it’s made solely  for the capable woman.

“Babs, you made it.” (Because, Barbara would kill her if she called her anything different.)

Barbara smiles beautifully at Marinette and slaps the boy next to her on the back—the one her uttered such a defining, yet normal word under her work. (Woah—she never thought her work was capable of such a word.)

It’s Jason Todd standing next to Barbara, looking quite fancy himself and staring at her with an awe she’s never seen on anyone before. Marinette smiles at him with familiarity, eyebrows slightly furrowing when he tears his gaze away, suddenly, and a red tint blooms across his cheekbones.

“I couldn’t live with myself if I hadn’t, besides, this is worth it.” Barbara pulls her gaze back with a warm voice. She continues, “Where’s your parents?” She turns her head and scans over the crowd, before returning back to Marinette with a questioning look. Suddenly, Jason’s eyes are back on her as well.

She fiddles with her thumbs, taken aback by such a question. “Um, uh, they’re—“ Sitting at home, arguing with each other. (They’d decided to skip Tim’s parent teacher conference, for the boy was top of his class, what more did they need to know?) “They’re—they couldn’t make it.”  She coughs, ignoring the apologetic eyes before her.

“So! What do you think?” She smiles, quickly changing the subject, and even though their gazes remain the same for a second, they quickly agree with her non-verbal plea to change the subject.

“It’s great—“

“Wonderful. How do you get your shots so high up? You’d need to be awfully skilled to do that. The amount of dark to light shots of Gotham contrasts perfectly with each other, really shows the side we don’t see.” Jason listed, keeping his eyes on the photos the entire time.

Marinette opens her mouth, gaping at Jason. She’s sure Barbara is doing the same without looking at the older, judging on the cricket-inducing silence coming from Marinette’s left.

Jason seemingly snaps back to reality, shutting his mouth audibly and clearing his throat. “Sorry, you just...” And Marinette finds it in herself to talk once again.

“Thank you, that...really means a lot to me.” Jason looks back at her, and she smiles widely at him, a real, genuine smile she’s sure she’s never produced in her fifteen years.

Jason smiles back with the same intensity and continues to rattle off compliments, ones she knows is coming from his heart, because there’s a heavy blush on his face the entire time.

Maybe she’s found her passion. Maybe this is who she is, because, standing under the bright museum lights, standing next to two unexpected—but welcome— friends who acknowledge her worth, she’s found herself.

She’s Marinette. Just Marinette.

This is who she is. She is something. She is everything she’s ever wanted to be.

Taglist: @jjmjjktth @moonlightstar64 @laurcad123