#and it was like. if you get uncomfy with someone who you perceive as… poor and visibly neurodivergent??? then like.

[natugood]

I wanna know what it’s like to live in other cities cause every damn time I do a long walk here (ESPECIALLY at night) I end up so fucking angry!!!!! Like super pissed off and deeply bothered at the world!!!! and idk if it’s just the disparities and contrasts of issues *here* that bother me so deeply or if it’s more stuff related to modern US/western society in general, or if it’s a little bit of both and I’m just more sensitive to it here cause it’s more visible to me.

[wiltingcrowns]

question. why is it that people can associate and judge some characters by real world standards (lucien, nesta, potentially every other damn character) that doesn't agree/like/tolerate the ic's and rhysand's actions but also at the same time proceed to judge rhysand and the ic by sjmverse standards and to say 'yeah, it's okay because they're doing to protect their mate and they wear a mask whilst being seen by other characters torturing othera and being cruel''?

as someone who was sa'd and as someone who was seen as of enjoying it per the mouth of the assailant, i genuinely find it disgusting and uncomfy that this fandom can defend rhysand by saying he was doing it to protect feyre and that she enjoyed it. he could and should have left her alone.

and by my analysis and rereading of acotar/tog (just as an example), the sjmverse standards are as of follows;

- sexual assault/harassment. (utm as an example)

- keeping information from the mother of your child that she could die if she was to give birth. it was to protect her? bullshit.

- to lock a mentally struggling and depressed woman into a house with 10,000 steps because you're doing it to protect her. (rhysand and co. to nesta.) whilst also (and rightfully) slandering tamlin for the same to feyre in acomaf. but you won't slander rhysand for doing the same to nesta? hypocrisy whom?

- hitting/abuse. (rowan to aelin into hof.) this is seen as somehow okay because rowan is attractive and celaena said something nasty whilst severely depressed.

- verbal. i'll name some examples; rowan threatening to whip celaena, cassian (one of your favourites) repetitively threatening 'if you don't get off that rock by the end of this week, what happens to you is out of my hands' and emotionally tormenting nesta with 'everybody hates you,' and rhysand threatening to kill nesta.

- war crimes. stealing from the summer court and shapeshifting into its high lord (a dark skinned male). attacking the high lord of autumn and the lady of autumn at the acowar meeting. wrecking a court for revenge whilst on the brink of war (if not a war crime, just a case of wtf). violating the minds of so many people that it is perceived as okay.

and somehow all these (^) things are considered okay and can be excused because it's rhysand and co? however, if nesta was to call a character a mean name she gets wrecked for it? in acosf, she called rhysand a prick and states he isn't her high lord? and my god, the backlash she received from her own mate? you don't even need to be a nesta anti to slander the poor woman.

i did not want to make this post but since we're at the point of sliding into people's inboxes as anons and slandering people, i have made this post and i shall post it.

-zelds. :(

[leatherbookmark]

bitchy preaching to the choir

one of the things that hit me when I read those piping hot takes about how jc/jgy/sms/xy bad, wwx good (aside from the fact that they're painfully primary school level) is how christian they are in the assumption that "getting over"* one's traumatic/painful experience is not only the goal but also just a morally Good course of action, and anyone who doesn't do that is therefore Bad. it's not that their traumatic/painful experiences were particularly serious or different from the ones our brave protagonist has dealt with -- it's just Bad.

*see also, “forgiving”. i remember being a kid and Feeling that you’re Bad when you don’t want to forgive the person who apologized to you, even if you felt the apology wasn’t sincere/wasn’t enough to make up for the harm you experienced. Good Kids Forgive!

what’s most interesting is that paradox that happens next -- if a character doesn't get over their trauma, it wasn't trauma and they're overreacting, harbouring grudges, making up things to be mad about; but if a character pretends everything is fine, and directs all them harm to themself rather than outside, they’re a Good victim and a Good character that we, the audience (aged 6) like and admire.

wwx, especially cql wwx, is a good example of a Good character, especially from a western, christian point of view. he’s just and heroic, he’s self-sacrificing, he was “born with a smile on his face”, even when he gets drunk it’s cute, and while he does get horrible revenge, it’s like, 1. eh, ehhhh, who remembers that, and 2. comparatively shortly after the even he’s taking revenge for. and most of the harm happens to him! jzx’s death wasn’t even him and sms is better at demonic cultivation than he is*, and while he does unleash the dark wisps of resentful energy, he humbly throws himself off a cliff, so see, he’s not evil at all!

*can you see that i don’t like this theory.

jc, jgy, sms and xy meanwhile have one thing in common -- they can’t “get revenge” immediately, or shortly after. because the one who’s hurt them is their beloved brother who then went to die himself; because they’re powerless children; because they can’t do shit on their own. so they “harbor a grudge” for “perceived slights”, are “obsessed with people who say one bad word about them”, “let their resentment guide them for their whole life” etc, etc.

a small digression -- one would think* that, if one takes this way of thinking, characters are generally supposed to get over their feelings rather fast, get over themselves and become useful members of society. but there is someone who’s allowed, even praised and adored by fans for holding onto pointless feelings, perhaps... calling out every night to someone who won’t answer, given that they’re dead... hm

*one wouldn’t, it’s a strawman and a through experiment

and like, jc being Mean to wwx is a proof of whatever bad trait people want to give him, even though this man is one big ball of trauma, conflicted emotions + his strong sense of duty, etc, etc. but of course, it’s easier to say he just can’t give it (and wwx) a break.

jgy, sms and xy, although their situations are different, care for themselves because no one else will. no one helped jgy after he was kicked down the stairs, no one helped xy after he, a little child, was horribly mutilated by a petty adult man, and no one cared for sms’s life -- he was expected to die for the lan family and the inner disciples, and the fact that he dared to Prefer To Survive was met with scorn of the lan and hatred of the fandom*. if your status is so low that no one would care or even notice if you died, well, that’s your problem, pick up your cross and carry it with a smile or die mad about it.

*and that was cql, where they made him more of a poor dude mistreated by the lan, who then have the absolute Gall to go “umm he didn’t want to die for us, so when you treat him with respect it makes us uncomfy ://”

[junicai]

Aria + Periods + 127 = Chaos

Taeil

taeil has a younger sister, so he didn’t need her to explain anything to her

honestly, he’s one of the members she’ll go to first if she needs anything

the least likely to make a big deal out of it

just kinda

shrugs

and does what is needed of him

sometimes pain meds don’t do anything for aria’s cramps they get so bad

and on those days, she’ll slid into his bed and either

A: snuggle with him and let him cuddle her

or B: just curl up underneath his sheets until he gets back from wherever he was and then do option A

he really hates her periods

like, more than she does

because she’s always a little deflated in the upcoming days, and for the first two of the actual periods

and he hates seeing her in pain or be sad

even if the thing she’s sad at is the advertisement of the cute dog

definitely chuckles at her when she comes to him with slightly teary eyes and whines that she misses her dog now

but opens his arms willingly anyway, letting his maknae plonk herself in his lap and rest her head on his chest

Johnny

there is no better man to try and make aria feel better

that’s actually a lie

aria will point blank avoid him on her periods

he read once

once

in an article that physical exercise helps with cramps and the other pms-ing symptoms

and now every single time she opens her mouth to complain about her uterus trying to eject itself from her body

johnny’s right there with an invitation to the gym

he’s literally packed and changed, they can go right now

truth be told aria took him up on the offer once

never again

she couldn’t walk afterwards

he had to carry her out

asides from that though

he’s pretty okay with everything?

like obviously, he doesn’t really get it all too much, but if she wants someone to massage her back, then he’ll offer without too many questions

but when she’s crying about something?

oh ho ho ho

bear hugs

just a big ol’ swaddling hug that makes aria feel warm n safe n content

they heal everything

it’s aria’s life philosophy

Taeyong

totally understanding

she needs pads? he’s either already bought them, or will go out to buy them for her

doesn’t have a tracker for her, but somehow knows when she’s cramping the week before its due

once came up with the innovative idea of using their handwarmers as a makeshift hot water bottle when they were on a schedule and aria was suffering :(

aria gets really bad lower back cramps, and its super common to just see him gently pushing her onto the couch

so he can try and massage some of the tension

keeps pads in his travelling bags

completely unprompted - it just started being something he’d pack

like heat packs and pain patches and bandages;

period supplies just eventually got added to the list

was a little uncomfy with the whole thing at the start

but his older sister yelled at him

told him to stop “being a baby” and “she’s your responsibility, act like it.”

aria felt really bad for burdening him with it all

lowkey wished she was a boy for inconveniencing everyone with it

and taeyong had to sit her down and tell her no baby

it was natural and it didn’t bother anybody

that she didn’t have to hide it

that she could come to them if she was in pain because of it

Yuta

oh this man

when he found out that aria was getting lightheaded on her periods

when he found out that she passed out once on her period

did so much research on why that might have happened and how to help

literally stayed up all night and came to aria the next morning like

“are you eating enough iron?”

the answer was no, btw

made it his mission to make sure aria did after that

always has a little bag of nuts or something else in a side pocket of his bag if he knows aria’s on her period

gets concerned asf when she misses her periods

because he knows it’s because of unnecessary diets or her putting in extra time in the practice room

aria loves going to his room when she’s feeling miserable

he’s always down to watch a movie or just lay down with her

he’ll plait her hair or just lay together and press a lil kiss to her forehead when she whines about the cramps

hates hates hates when she cries

he knows it’s because of hormones, he has two sisters

but that doesn’t make it easier

will do absolutely anything to get her to stop crying

once went out at 3am to get her ice-cream

which actually made her cry harder

bc she felt bad that she couldn’t eat it because she’s lactose-intolerant

he just felt worse

that was not a good night

now the freezer in the dorms has a little tub of non-dairy ice-cream with aria’s name on it

curtesy of yuta

Doyoung

when aria first moved into the 127 dorms

he bought a little pink box with a lid that he then proceeded to fill with tampons and pads; the whole shebang

which he then put in the locker beneath the sink

and told anyone that if they made a big deal out if it, he’d kill them :)

incredibly perceptive

knows when aria’s on her period before aria knows

“hey do u need a pad?” “ why do i need a pad?”

*an hour later*

“oppa do u have any pads”

he’s less of a come here and i’ll comfort you type

and more of a, i’m going to help you from the sidelines without ever actually acknowledging it’s existence

like perceiving it makes it worse

honestly aria’s pretty thankful he’s like this

she loves that the other members take care of her like they do, don’t get her wrong

but its like, for five days - she can do no wrong, she’s accommodated, and sometimes walked on eggshells around

it’s nice to have someone who’s going to treat her like normal

to balance it out

does that stop her pulling the “i’m in pain” card when she’s about to get scolded?

no

Jaehyun

jaehyun doesn’t have any siblings, so he was really learning from scratch with aria

however

that was actually a good thing

because it meant that whatever aria told him; he did

if she needed a heating pack - he’d go find one for her

if she needed to just lie down for a bit - he’d take her into her room and close the curtains to let her take a nap

now, she didn’t take advantage of this

much

but she just thought it was really sweet of him

and tells him as much

and every time, he’ll just pat her head

maybe a lil kiss on the forehead

and pull the blanket up to her chin before leaving and flicking off the lights

that’s kind of the extent of what he’ll do

mainly because the other members have a lot of it covered already

but it’s pretty common for him to give her a piggyback ride somewhere

if her back is cramping a lot and she doesn’t/can’t walk

no complaints

he just kneels down and aria asks him is he sure

like she’s heavy or something

and he’ll just carry her to wherever they’re going

there’s a lot of fantaken pictures from these moments

people speculate that she’s injured or sick

it happens so regularly that nctzens are genuinely convinced that aria just doesn’t possess an immune system

Jungwoo

jungwoo was surprisingly well prepared when aria first bent over from a sudden onset of cramps

man was ready and knew what to do

he had hyuck going out of the room for water

and had a hand placed on her lower back rubbing gently

never really makes a big deal out of it all

although has told her to play it up once or twice because he wanted to go to bed and practice was running late

she did, and they did end practice almost immediately after

honestly, aria’s pretty convinced that all of jungwoo’s information on how to deal with girls on their periods came from a wikihow article

but that did mean that he had taken the time to look up a wikihow article

so she guesses she can forgive him

and honestly, the fact that he takes it upon himself to do a little of her chores?

she’s not complaining

after the first three times she felt bad enough to tell him to stop though

he didn’t

and now it’s just normal

is very conversational about it all

has no problem with asking her what she needs, instead of hovering around and guessing

which makes it easier on aria as well

the first few times, she felt quite burdensome

and jungwoo levelled her with a look when she told him this

“the only way you’d be burdensome, is if you didn’t talk to the rest of us and suffered silently - in pain.”

that was the end of that really

Mark

unfortunately for mark

aria got her first period when she was with him

poor boy thought she was going to die

“ohmygod you’re bleeding - you’re BLEEDING-”

aria had to calm him down before going to the bathroom

he is pretty oblivious as to what exactly goes on

aria complained once that she missed her last two periods because of the stupid diet she was on

mark literally thought she was going to die

very concerned

she had to sit him down and tell him that no, she wasn’t going to die  

he’s gotten better over the years

as a topic, he’s still pretty uncomfortable with discussing it

but its less of a “i’m a man and this isn’t a manly topic” and more of a “i don’t know anything about this subject and i don’t want to offend somebody, help”

he did by her her first hot water bottle cover though

up until then, she had been using hot water bottles wrapped in towels to prevent her skin from burning

but mark showed up one morning

with a yellow fuzzy thing hidden behind her back

it was a winnie the pooh cover :(

Donghyuck

cuddle buddies

that’s his main role

aria on her period? donghyuck’s pulling out the fluffy blankets and making a pile of her plushies on his bed

time to pull out netflix and cuddle

aria could cry every single time she walks into his room and he’s just opening the covers for her to slip underneath

he does it every time

and somehow she’s still not expecting it

it’s been five years bestie

has accidentally made her cry on more than once occasion though

he doesn’t mean to!

sometimes he’ll say something in passing

and aria will get upset but won’t show it

because she knows she’s not actually upset - it’s just hormones

so she doesn’t tell him she’s upset

and just leaves to go to her own room

does that stop doyoung telling hyuck off for being insensitive?

no

not at all

but he’s normally really good! especially after the first few times

living together has generally made him more preceptive

also just growing up in general

if her cramps are really bad she’ll wake up during the night

and if she had slept in hyuck’s bed the night before

then he usually takes it upon himself to go get her pain meds and a hot water bottle

he’ll rub her back and help her fall back asleep

and then he’ll make sure to write down in his phone that she took x brand of pain meds, so in the morning she’ll have to take y instead