#strawberry battlefield

[ninebaalart]

Jasper Chill

Future really brought this character together completely for me. I like the antithetical nature she brings to the antagonism in the show but Future does a really great job with her character.

[nat-stimmy]

What's your Sanrio TF2 au about it?

everything is the same except everyone is a cute animal JKLFDJLKSD the blood is sparkly and everythings cutesy and pastel . but the mercs are still the same personality-wise at the moment! here's all the art i have for it atm, the cinnamoroll and kuromi were done by stimtoy but i did all the others.

the other characters are uhh Demoman - Badtz Maru Soldier - Hana Maru Engineer - Chococat Pyro - Hello Kitty Ms. Pauling - Usahana

[lockefanfic]

Alarming

The following is 3.2k words of pure unedited filth that could be a part of the Business Trip storyline but could just be the product of an hour of BFH-inspired viewings of Momo’s most recent Strategy fancam but anyway here we go I put some words together I am writer I can write I swear -

---

You had a bit of a love-hate relationship with the iPhone’s alarm jingle. More often than not it was a source of frustration or anger, given its tendency to rip you unwillingly from the warm, comfortable embrace of sleep. It was too often a herald of reality, a reminder of adult responsibilities like spending the next eight hours exchanging your time for the money necessary to afford a cell phone alarm in the first place.

But these days you weren’t so upset at the familiar jingle and the way it interrupted your gaming session. How could you be, knowing what this particular alarm was for?

You quit your game mid-session, not even bothering to leave the match, leaving your virtual special operative frozen on its digital battlefield, an easy kill for some sweaty thirteen year old. Even before the console has fully powered down, you’re already on your way up the stairs to the bedroom.

Hirai Momo is waiting for you on your bed, wearing a silk robe that reached the top of her thighs and no further, leaving those long, toned legs of hers bare. She is on her phone, no doubt having just silence the same alarm notification as the one that brought you to her presence. With a wry smile she makes a few taps on her screen, likely placing her phone on Do Not Disturb. 

“Come here, then,” she says, casually, as though she weren’t inviting you into your bed dressed the way she was.

“I plan to,” you answer, earning a giggle from your wife as you rid yourself of your t-shirt and join her on the bed, crawling atop her.

She smiles into your kiss.  It is soft and intimate. Her lips are sweet and sticky and taste vaguely of the strawberry lip balm she loved so much. When the kiss finally ends the two of you stay there for a moment, faces inches apart. She smiles, and you do, and there is nothing there but love.

You kiss her again, this time more passionately. This time your tongues find each other, duelling between lips and teeth. Your arms wrap around your neck and she spreads her legs to allow you between them, your body pressing against hers and it all feels so soft and comfortable and safe. It feels like home.

You’re the one to break the kiss this time, and this time there’s no intimate, romantic eye contact. You dive instead into her neck, your lips and mouth finding all the soft, warm spots there that you knew she loved. She sighs softly, her cheek pressed against the side of your ear so the sound that leaves her lips heads straight into your ear. Wordless, breathless, hopefully the first of many.

You kiss a path down her neck, to those collarbones of hers, to the little dip between them that she’s told you the anatomical name of multiple times because you keep forgetting. Because honestly you didn’t care what some 14th century physicist decided to call it. You knew only that it was a part of Hirai Momo, love of your life, and that was it, that was enough. 

The silk of her robe stops you from going any further - a flimsy barrier but one nonetheless. You feel her hands lift your head from her upper chest until you are hovering above her, eyes finding and locking with their counterparts. There it is again, that perfect, intense intimacy; an intimacy you’d built over years of dating and a couple of years of marriage, the kind that allows you both the ability to communicate without words. She cradles your head in her hands and she smiles warmly and as corny as it might be there just aren’t any other words to describe it - your heart melts.

Her hands leave your cheeks, and without breaking your gaze she undoes the flimsy knot that keeps her robe together, pulling the folds apart to reveal her body to you.

You remember the first time you saw Hirai Momo naked, all those years ago. You hold that memory pretty close, honestly, because it was one of those moments in your life that you weren’t sure could ever be topped. She was a one night stand, then, the result of one too many glasses of old, expensive grape juice at a bar. That night you seared the sight of her in your mind because that was all she was, all you thought she would be.

Little did you know that she would be who she was, all these years later. You see her practically naked now beneath you and your reaction now is the same as it was back then - sheer, utter, awe.

She is perfect, as she was back then - all curves and valleys and muscle. She’s round breasts with tight nipples and she’s a flat, toned stomach and she’s long, perfect legs that go on forever and feel perfect wrapped around your head or your waist.

She’s as beautiful now as she was then. Even more so, honestly, because of what she is. Not some half-drunk, ill-advised one night stand with a co-worker, no, she is so much more than that. She is your wife, yes, but she is your soulmate, something you weren’t entirely convinced existed outside of fairy tales and silly romance stories written by amateur authors on the internet.

The smile on her lips turns into a giggle. “Stop staring,” she says, “and start fucking.”

It was just like her, just like Momo to turn an intimate moment into something a little less serious and a little more lewd. It was a defense mechanism of hers, you’d come to learn. She wasn’t the most open person with her feelings sometimes, not because she didn’t possess said feelings, but because she wasn’t quite sure how to articulate them. And so she often diffused those situations with humor.

You share a smile, but it softens quickly and becomes something else altogether. The humor becomes passion again. 

You dive into her body, first into those wonderful breasts of hers, so round and full and perfect. You take a rosy nipple into your mouth and Momo gasps in response, her back arching off the mattress, taken aback by the feel of your lips and tongue on her when she was expecting you to take the more circuitous route around her chest. Your other hand finds her other breast, not wanting to leave it idle, and soon her gasps turn into soft moans that fill the bedroom.

You take your time on her chest, knowing how good it made her feel, to say nothing of your own desires and needs. She had a body to die for but her chest was something special, and you had no trouble at all lavishing her round mounds and taut nipples with all the attention you both needed.

She’s a squirming, writhing thing now, her legs grinding against your crotch, searching for friction, for relief. Her thighs press against your hips and even while your mouth is latched firmly around a stiff nipple she grabs one of your hands by the wrist and brings it between her legs.

She’s wet and ready and dripping and you never, ever tired of the feel of her on your fingertips, so slick, so hot. You drag a fingertip from her base to her clit and she shudders at the feel of you.

“Fuck,” she gasps, the first full word she’s able to manage in a very long time. 

It turns into a longer, drawn out version of the same word moments later when your fingers slide inside her, only a single knuckle deep, two fingers wide. Stretching her, opening her, feeling her wet readiness on your digits. Your fingers continue the same languid pattern, starting at her base and sliding up her slit to her clit, circling the tender bud with your fingertips.

She moans, the sound soft and musical and causing your lips to curl into a smile around her breast. You release the tender bud from between your lips and look up at her, that same smile smug on your face.

“You like that, baby?” you ask - the most rhetorical of questions.

Her eyes, half-lidded in pleasure, tell you what her answer is. She backs up said answer by grasping your head again and crushing your lips with hers. If the first kiss was intimate and the second passionate the third is needy. She tells you with her lips what she cannot articulate with words. 

She breaks the kiss, and your heads hover inches apart, eyes locked on each other as your fingers play with the increasingly drenched flesh between her legs. She whimpers and sighs and moans and you watch all of it, watch every quiver of pleasure as it courses through her cheeks and lips. Her eyes shut and flutter open and remain half-lidded and sometimes her brow furrows as though she’s in pain or deep concentration but you know it’s neither, it’s pleasure, it’s wonderful and it’s taking over her body.

Her hand finds your forearm, her nails dig into your arm and it’s almost painful. 

“Gonna cum,” she gasps, eyes shut. “Gonna cum.”

“Do it, Momo. Cum for me,” you urge. You find her lips, give her a soft kiss, inhale the moans leaving her lips. Her hips buck, her thighs quiver around your hand. Your fingertips, incessant and merciless, continue to circle her clit, their pace neither increasing or decreasing but staying steady, just the way she liked.

When she cums it is a sight. Her back arches and her mouth opens in a scream that never comes, frozen open. Her nails dig into the skin of your forearm and the sharp pricks of pain are nothing compared to the pleasure you find in helping Momo find her own. You watch, enraptured, as her orgasm courses through her body. She’s quivering and sweaty and dishevelled. You never tired of it. Never would.

When she comes down from it her cheeks are flushed and her hair, her newly cut, blonde waves, cling to the side of her face by matted sweat at her temples.

“Fuck,” she gasps between her teeth. “Fuck.”

You smile. Her hand releases the deathgrip it had on your wrist and your fingers leave her aching clit. She brings your glistening fingertips to the space between your faces and she licks her slick juices from them.

“Fuck me,” she says, inbetween darts of her pink tongue that gather up the wetness on your fingers. “Cum inside me.”

“I will, Momo.”

She gives your fingers one last lick, releases your hand. The intensity in her eyes is clear.

“Breed me.”

What you would have given to see the reaction of your younger self if you’d told that poor schmuck that one day his one night stand would become his wife, would perhaps become the mother of his children. But here you are, and here she is, and you’re married and about to start a family.

You press yourself between her warm, spread thighs and bring your tip to her entrance. You slide your head up and down her slick lips and the contact rips wordless sighs from you both, sighs that turn into deep, primal moans when you finally slide inside her.

She’s wet and hot and tight and every possible adjective in the English language could not fully describe how it felt to be inside Hirai Momo. It felt amazing, better than any other physical sensation you’d ever known. Her legs close around your hips and her arms wrap themselves around your neck and you’re one being. You kiss her, deeply. Your lips leave hers and your faces hover inches apart as you begin to slide and out of her slick, hot cunt.

It’s soft and slow and passionate this time. You both loved the hard, rough sex - Momo herself had been ever keen on adding a hand wrapped tightly around her throat or handcuffs binding her wrists to the headboard - but now was not one of those times. Tonight was about more than that, and the conversation your bodies were having with each other made it clear what this night was really about.

She sighs and moans, wordless, breathless sounds directly into your ear. She loved her dirty talk, but much of it was absent tonight. Often sex in your bedroom was punctuated with filth or demands or name calling.

Tonight there are asks. Requests. Pleas.

“Fuck me, please,” she gasps. “Fuck me, give it to me.”

“I will, Momo. I will.”

“I’ve… I’ve been a good girl, right? I have. I want it. I want your cum. I need it.”

“What do you need, Momo?” you ask, another question that needed no answer. “Tell me what you need.”

“I want, I need,” she says, which were full, adequate sentences in and of themselves - but you knew what you wanted to hear. What you needed to hear.

“What do you need, Momo," you repeat, insistent. "Tell me. I need to hear it, need to hear you say it.”

“I need you to breed me,” she spits, breathless, desperate now, needy. “I want you to cum inside me, fill me up with cum-”

“Fuck, Momo-”

“-breed me, make me a mommy, leave a baby in my tummy baby, baby please-”

“Fuck,” you gasp, tearing your ear from her lips, as though you were afraid if she went on, babbling in your ear, that you’d cum too soon. But you wanted this to last, wanted to draw it out even longer than your usual sessions. You plant your palms on either side of her head and raise your upper body from hers. Throughout it all you are pumping between her spread legs, the silken, slick embrace of her cunt tight around your cock.

Detached somewhat from her, you watch with lewd fascination as her body is rocked by each thrust into her cunt. Her breasts - perfect, round mounds - bounce hypnotically, flesh soft and creamy, taut nipples still glistening with your saliva. Her abs clench and tighten, her thighs flex and work. Your gaze wanders further down, to the spread lips of her pussy, tight and wet and slick. Your cock glistens in the split seconds it spends outside of her body, catching the low light of the bedroom before it is inside her again.

When your eyes return to hers there is an intensity in them that takes you aback. Those were eyes you’d seen often twisten in pleasure, slave to her body’s whims, but now they are serious, intentional, even as they are occasionally shut or half-lidded by a sudden spike of pleasure. But they always open again, always find your gaze and hold it.

“Harder,” she says, the word half-moan and half-gasp. “Please. Fuck me harder.”

Your body moves of its own accord. Your hands, planted on either side of her head, leave the mattress. Sitting on your heels for a moment, you pull her body back towards you, embedding yourself inside her to the hilt and drawing a gasp from her lips. Then your hands find her knees, snaking beneath them and pushing her legs back against her body, folding her almost in half atop the bed.

You lean over her. She is bent in half and with her legs against her arms, knees almost touching her shoulders, she is helpless, unable to do much more than simply take your cock.

You fuck her. hard and merciless, your cock drilling into her body to the deepest parts of her. 

“Oh god,” she swears, “oh god, you’re so fucking deep, oh fuck, oh god!”

“Fucking take it, Momo,” you spit between gritted teeth. “Fucking take my cock, take my cum.”

“Yes!” she exclaims, the word leaving her mouth like some natural reaction, some primal response from somewhere in the deepest, darkest parts of her. “Fucking cum inside me, please, cum inside me and give me a baby, breed me, get me pregnant-”

“Jesus,” you hiss, your turn to swear. “God, Momo, you’re so-”

“Fuck, please, breed me, breed me, cum inside me-”

You groan then, something dark and guttural leaving your throat in reaction to the pleas of the needy young woman beneath you. Her cunt flutters and pulsates and every movement either of you make drives you crazy, chases sanity from your mind and replaces it with something altogether scary, something that makes you slave to its whims and desires - the desire to leave a part of you inside this woman, to make her yours in the most primal way possible.

“Momo, I-”

“Inside me, please, please, breed me please-”

“Gonna cum-”

“Give me a baby, breed me please-”

The sight, the feel, the sound - the connection - it’s all too much, and you bury yourself as deep as you can inside Hirai Momo’s quivering, trembling body and let go. Your cock pulsates and spills warm, hot cum inside her, filling her up, leaving her cunt slick and messy, making her yours.

You stay there, frozen, her body still folded in half, feet helpless in the air. Your foreheads touch, the contact somehow grounding the both of you, bringing you both back to Earth, back home. She is still a mess around you, the pleasure still coursing through her body. Your bodies work hard to feed starved lungs. Your sweat drips from your forehead onto hers, another mark of your bond.

You open eyes you hadn’t known you’d closed. And there she is, eyes already finding yours. The softest, most intimate of smiles finds its way onto her lips. You kiss her softly, your lips playing tenderly with each other as you slowly release her legs from her chest. She wraps them around your waist as you settle atop her, your half-hard cock still embedded inside her creamy, messy cunt.

When your kiss breaks you look at each other again, and when she smiles it’s a little softer now, a little less intense. 

“Wow,” she says, softly, thereby winning the award for the most understated reaction that night. It brings a smile to your face and it becomes a soft giggle that she returns. 

You slowly ease yourself from her body, both of you wincing at the loss of the most intimate of connections. You fall on the bed beside her and she cuddles up to your side, but not before finally ridding herself of her silk robe, now sweaty and messy and in need of a turn in the laundry machine.

You bring her close, and she nuzzles into your neck as your arms wrap around her. You feel her lips curl into a contented, soft smile to mirror the one on your own.

“I hope they’re all like that,” you say, softly, earning a soft murmur of approval from Momo.

“Me too. Doc says we should try every day for the next couple of nights, so…”

“Well if it’s doctor’s orders, I suppose we don’t really have much of a choice.”

Momo raises her head from your neck. Her cheeks are flushed and her eyes are tired but there is love there. There is love everywhere.

“Mmhmm,” she agrees. “I think we can find a way to make it happen, I suppose. So same time tomorrow?”

“The alarm’s already set.”

You smile. You bring her close. You tell her you love her. She does the same.

----

Author’s Note: This is completely unedited filth that you shouldn’t use as a measure of my writing skill because it’s trash but BFH! BFH! BFH!

Momo too hot.

[wondersinwaynemanor]

some Wayne gala shenanigans

Damian: Some people have no shame.

Jon, a plate of brûlée on his hand: What do you mean?

Damian: Tt. Those so called classy, but actually pretentious women are embarrassing themselves for not understanding the memo.

Jon: What memo?

Damian turns his eyes away from the sight of some women, trying their best to get his brothers' attention and to the said memo.

As said memo are two redheads, and a half kryptonian and half human eating by the food area.

more women approach his brothers.

Damian, frowns: We need to save Richard, Todd and Drake.

Jon: They do look uncomfortable.

Damian, sighs: I have to enter the battlefield.

Jon, pats Damian's shoulder: You will be remembered by your bravery, Dames.

Damian breathes and walks towards the inner circle.

before Damian can even say anything else, the women have started cooing at him.

Damian internally cringes and he hopes this would be worth it.

thankfully, Damian don't have to suffer long as Wally, Roy and Conner join the commotion.

Roy: Sorry, Jaybaby. *he has that crooked smile, that Jason personally adores, as he wraps an arm around his waist* I was caught up at the food buffet. Want something to eat?

Jason, internally thanks the heavens for Roy and leans close to him: Starved. Excuses, everyone.

Todd is saved. Check.

Wally: Come on, honey. *holds Dick's hand and leads him away* I deserve a dance.

Dick, smiles like an idiot and holds Wally's hand: I better go, ladies. He gets a temper. Have a good night.

Richard is saved. Check.

Conner, touches Tim's shoulder then his cheek: Want something to drink? You seem tired, babe.

Tim, finally feeling awake for the first time since this happened and touches Conner's hand that's on his face: Yes, please, babe. Ladies, will you excuse me?

Drake is saved. Check.

the ladies are left speechless. some are jealous. some are frustrated they can't get the Wayne fortune. but, some are in awe.

Damian, lightly smirks: It's never gonna happen, ladies. Now, enjoy your night. Excuse me.

he finds Jon by the sweets section.

Damian, nudges Jon's arm: Thank you for that, Jon.

Jon, smiles: It's nothing. I needed to save you too.

they give each other a high five then proceed to challenge the other on who can eat the most chocolate covered strawberries.

[iris-qt]

𝚙𝚞𝚖𝚙𝚔𝚒𝚗 𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚌𝚎

"You look so pretty and I love this view"

ᴛʜᴇᴏᴅᴏʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛᴛ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

🎃 ʙɢ ᴍᴜꜱɪᴄ: ᴄʟɪᴄᴋ!

🎃 ᴀ/ɴ: ᴍʏ ʙʀɪᴇꜰ ᴄᴏᴍᴇʙᴀᴄᴋ…ᴋɪɴᴅᴀ ʟᴀᴛᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀ ᴘᴜᴍᴘᴋɪɴ ᴄᴀʀᴠɪɴɢ ꜱᴛᴏʀʏ ʙᴜᴛ ʏᴏʟᴏ!!

🎃 ꜱʏɴᴏᴘꜱɪꜱ: ᴛʜᴇᴏᴅᴏʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛᴛ ɪꜱ ᴀ ᴘʀᴏ ᴀᴛ ᴍᴀɴʏ ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ ;)…ᴘᴜᴍᴘᴋɪɴ ᴄᴀʀᴠɪɴɢ ɪꜱ ɴᴏᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇᴍ.

If there was one thing everyone knew about Theodore Nott, it was that his competitive streak ran deep.

He approached academics like a battlefield, where every grade was a victory and every mistake a personal challenge to overcome. He didn’t just strive to pass; he needed to be the best, to outscore everyone in the class. Even if it meant late nights and meticulous notes scrawled in his precise handwriting. 

On the Quidditch field, Theodore Nott’s competitiveness sharpened to a ruthless edge. He trained with the same intensity he brought to academics, believing that every extra drill, every late practice, could be the difference between victory and defeat. For Theodore, losing was never an option.

And that is how we find him at the verge of pulling his soft brown hair out of his scalp, four strawberry-themed bandages on his fingers. 

You’d told him multiple times that you two could just stop. There was no need to go on and potentially lose a finger in the process.

But he refused because, truth be told, perhaps his competitive streak was partially… ok mostly just to impress you. His sweet girl.

Theodore clenched his jaw, staring down at the pumpkin, now bearing more accidental gashes and lopsided cuts than any real design. Yet, he shot you a determined, almost defiant look.

“You know, we don’t have to keep going,” you said gently, trying not to laugh at the orange massacre before him. “We could stop before the pumpkin looks more like it got mauled than carved.”

But he shook his head, that stubborn half-smile crossing his face. “I’m not stopping until I get it right.”

You stifled a laugh, trying to keep your expression supportive as he took another determined, if slightly shaky, stab at the pumpkin. You could see the frustration mixed with pride in his eyes, the way he bit his lip as he carved. 

“It doesn’t have to be perfect,” you said, brushing some pumpkin guts and seeds from his cheek. “You’re still amazing, pumpkin disaster and all.”

He glanced at you, cheeks coloring slightly, then quickly returned his focus to the pumpkin. “Maybe. But I’d like to be amazing and get this pumpkin to look like an actual face,” he muttered.

With a sigh, you watched him struggle on, a little amused, a little exasperated, but mostly feeling that familiar warmth at his focused eyes, his brown locks falling in front of them.

With a final, triumphant jab, Theodore stepped back, squinting at the pumpkin as if daring it to mock his efforts. He studied it with a critical eye, then turned to you, a glint of mischief flashing in his gaze.

"There," he announced, attempting a proud, nonchalant tone despite the wreckage of his masterpiece. “I carved your face. My muse.”

You raised an eyebrow, glancing between him and the pumpkin, which sported a crooked smile, one eye bigger than the other, and an overall lopsided charm. You couldn’t hold back your laugh this time. “My face? Are you saying I look like… that?”

“Precisely,” he replied with a smirk, crossing his arms as if he’d achieved some great artistic feat. “But only the best features. See? The soulful eyes. The charmingly crooked smile. It’s all there.”

You shook your head, grinning. “So I’m your muse for… horrifying pumpkin carving?”

“Exactly,” he said, trying to suppress a laugh of his own. “A true masterpiece, thanks to you.”

He reached out, fingers brushing yours, his expression softening. “You know, maybe I should make a full-body pumpkin carving of you next time...”

You raise an eyebrow at his mischievous expression.

"You'd have to get naked for that one though."

You push him away teasingly as he laughs enveloping you in a bear hug as you playfully try to fight it.

He presses kisses into your hair, and for once, his competitive streak seemed to fade, leaving just the two of you, laughing over his terrible pumpkin and the sweetness behind it.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

twst food culture compilation

Please note: this post does NOT include all food-related lore in TWST (for example, you won’t find a lot of information about individual characters’ food preferences or personal experiences with food here). This post ONLY talks about the food culture, notable locations, cultural dishes, and unique foods of the Twisted Wonderland world at large (ie countries, specific towns and cities, etc).

I did my best to scour for info, but I’ll update if I find anything new or details I missed the first time around.

General and/or Unspecified Location

Icicle mushrooms are one of Twisted Wonderland’s three greatest delicacies. They are extremely rare and expensive.

There is a seasoning called “pure azure salt”, which is said to be rare, even in the Coral Sea.

Twisted Wonderland has a fruit called ruby berries (which taste “like freshly picked strawberries”).

There is frozen mint with a “refreshing profile” that grows in icy mountainous areas.

There exists Walrus-brand oyster sauce. Trey uses this to cook hamburger steak for his younger siblings. He says the oyster sauce provides a "nice savory flavor" with considerable depth. Trey also jokes about adding it to chestnut tarts in book 1.

There are mentions of irl Japanese foods such as konjac and takoyaki, but so far no place of origin in Twisted Wonderland has been sited.

Like in the real world, celebrities like Vil and Neige are used to promote products (including food and drink) in commercials, on social media platforms, etc. For example, in book 5, we see Neige advertising Red Apple Soda and Vil using his Magicam account to promote the apple juice made by Epel's family.

There's a popular dish called "pumpkin carriage stew". The insides of a pumpkin are scooped out and the shell is filled with a creamy stew, which made it difficult to carry over to tables. It would sell out every day at the cafe Ruggie used to work at.

Some restaurants call their spaghetti with meatballs "starry night spaghetti", named after the tale of two dogs who shared a spaghetti kiss under a starry sky. It is said that sharing spaghetti with meatballs with someone outside would lead to true love.

Hunting is sport as well as something done for food.

Crowley goes on vacation “to the South” and reports to enjoy mango and mango-flavored products from there. He also brings back manga tea as a souvenir.

Briar Valley

General

Cotton candy is a classic snack food sold at Briar Valley food stalls. The way it is prepared resembles spinning threads, which is considered a blessed occupation (as there was a period in Briar Valley's history when no one was able to spin thread, so some clever individual tinkered around and made cotton candy instead).

In the battlefield (~400 years ago, during the human-fae war), soldiers would roast rats and lizards to eat if they didn't have rations or other ingredients.

There is little in the way of modern technology and electricity; typically, one would prepare dishes and/or collect ingredients by hand (such as via fishing) or by using magic.

Magic is used to light fires for cooking. There is little risk for fire accidents since magical fires automatically go out when you go to sleep.

Because Briar Valley is located to the north, it can get very chilly. When the snow melts, it turns into very cold freshwater.

According to Lilia, “berries are a must-have, especially at birthdays parties” in Briar Valley. They are famous for its berry juice.

The forest where Silver and Lilia live has strawberries. Silver picks them with his animal companions.

Coral Sea

General

According to Jade, there are no fires in the Coral Sea. Therefore, most of the food consumed is raw.

A month-long land boot camp first established by a mermaid princess that married a human prince teaches merpeople fire safety and how to eat food as part of its curriculum.

It's rare for merfolk to eat anything sweet, as those kinds of foods aren't readily avaliable in the sea.

The Atlantica Memorial Museum has the mermaid princess's "silver hair comb" on display. This, of course, refers to the "dinglehopper"--a common fork. This implies that merpeople (such as the mermaid princess referenced in many stories) fused to be unaware of the eating utensils on land.

Azul's mother owns the "hottest restaurant" in the Coral Sea. It started off as a small place, but has since expanded to have a large staff.

Couples from the Coral Sea frequently request rainbow dessert soup with trident cookies for their weddings. To eat it, you use the trident cookie to stir the sweet sky-blue soup, which then turns the soup into seven colors of the rainbow. This is a dish that is only served for special occasions in the Coral Sea, and it is typically served warm.

Jade says that he was surprised to see that many land dwellers eat their fruit without the peel; this would imply that those from the Coral Sea typically eat their foods with the skin/peel left on, or as-is.

Playful Land Amusement Park

All food and drink are handed out for free.

They serve food in large quantities, such as tuna, entire tart cherry pies (with cinnamon, clove, and crushed nuts in the filling) and a whole peppery roasted chicken. The park encourages consuming in excess.

Other food items being offered include fried tuna fish and sparkling apple juice. The juice comes with an umbrella stuck in the opening to prevent bugs from getting in. You remove it before drinking.

They have ice-cream in many flavors! We see strawberry milk in the related event.

The park had candy and popcorn in “apple core” flavor. Supposedly, this is a taste inspired by the story of the Generous Fox giving a Puppet Boy an apple core instead of a whole apple because “the puppet wished to have a core”.

There is a “Candy Road”, a street lined with shops that have caramel lollipops, chewy candy, marshmallows, cookies, chocolate crunch, and lots of other sugary treats!

Their chocolate crunch has 12 different charms thrown in.

The third most popular souvenir are pasta snacks in the shape of the Friendly Fox and Gentle Cat. The second most popular is a tin of plain cookies in the shape of the Friendly Fox and cocoa cookies in the shape of the Gentle Cat. Finally, the most popular are apple core flavored candies!

Sage's Island

Night Raven College

Pomefiore holds a welcome party for the freshmen, which includes a fancy dinner. Savanaclaw does not hold a welcome party.

Scarabia regularly holds banquets, typically at Kalim's request.

Heartslabyul holds "unbirthday parties" whenever it is a day that does NOT fall on a Heartslabyul student's birthday. Sweets are mandatory at unbirthday parties.

The dorm members of Scarabia and Heartslabyul pitch in to prepare for banquets and unbirthday parties.

Mr. S's Mystery Shop stocks food items, such as candies (which Floyd often buys), tuna cans, and ingredients for baking (this is where Deuce and Yuu pick up things for the chestnut tart in book 1). Sam also sells food items that he seems to have made himself, like the Mystery Drink (which Octavinelle eventually buys the rights to).

The school cafeteria is said to have delicious breads.

Students can use the school kitchens outside of normal serving hours; Ruggie and Jamil sometimes do this, but they also have their own dormitory kitchens to cook.

Once a month, a famous bakery from out of town serves their goods at NRC. Their stock includes items such as chocolate croissants, egg sandwiches, yakisoba bread and cream bread ("cronuts and bear claws"), roast beef sandwiches, red bean buns ("hot dog buns"), and deluxe minced cutlet sandwiches ("deluxe ham and cheese"/"grilled cheese" in the localization). They sell out fast!

The school library includes recipes books. Some recipes include spicy curry soup, red pepper and tomato soup, and garlic pork habanero soup.

Basic school lunches are free to all students, but they must pay for changes or extra items.

The cafeteria at NRC serves food buffet style; the cafeteria is kept warm with magic from fire fairies which are supplied with dry firewood every day. There is also a rotating daily menu.

Master Chef ("Culinary Crucible") is an elective course at NRC that teaches students how to cook. It is meant to curb the expenses related to eating out and to help the boys maintain balanced diets and learn how to take care of themselves. Judges for this course are randomly selected from the students and staff (prior to this methodology, people would bribe the judges for extra credit).

While taking Master Chef, students help with preparing meals in the cafeteria in exchange for part-time pay.

The instructors for Master Chef are ghosts who were professional chefs at five-star restaurants when they were alive. These same ghosts also serve as cafeterias staff. Crowley says it was difficult but worthwhile to recruit them.

There are various locations on campus where the students go to fetch ingredients for Master Chef. This includes an on-campus farm, ranch, windmill... and even the dormitories themselves!

The woods behind the campus have chestnuts, which the main crew collect for an apology tart to Riddle.

The Botanical Garden has some edible plants growing there. These include strawberries, which the Science Club cultivates.

NRC opens its school gates to the local townspeople for a period leading up to Halloween; during this time, they distribute candy and other sweets (such as Sam's waffles, served with jam made from NRC's apples) to guests. There's also a party on Halloween night where lots of food is served.

Mostro Lounge

Octainvelle has the Mostro Lounge, described by Jade as "a meeting place for gentlemen" where fighting between dorms is prohibited. While dining there, students are expected to abide by Octavinelle's rules. It is run by the manager and founder, Azul, who made a deal with the headmaster to get the rights to open the establishment. NRC gets 10% of the revenue the Mostro Lounge makes.

Jade and Floyd partake in some cooking, but Azul does very little cooking. He tends to investigate the competition and market.

Jade uses the weeds and plants he collects from mountain hikes to brew experimental new teas. Sometimes Azul adds these drinks to the menu.

Floyd likes to experiment with making sauces. These, too, are featured in the lounge.

The lounge offers cakes with coral decorations. You can order one for your special occasions.

The Mostro Lounge is particular about its quality name-brand dishware. Azul believes that this will boost the experience customers have in the lounge.

The Octatrio bought the rights to the Mystery Drink from Sam and raised its price from 600 madol/6 thaumarks to 1500 madol/15 thaumarks.

The Mostro Lounge has a one-drink purchase minimum.

Menu items range from roughly 600 madol to 1500 madol (6 thaumarks to 15 thaumarks).

The menu rotates on a seasonal basis; this helps to cut down on costs since they can focus on cheaper in-season ingredients.

The Mostro Lounge also operates food stalls and/or sells food at many school events, such as the cultural festival in book 5 and the interdorm magical shift/spelldrive tournament in book 2.

It is mostly Octavinelle students who staff the Mostro Lounge, but there are occasions when outside students are brought in as extra help. Ruggie has worked there part-time, as well as Jack, Ace, Deuce, and tons of other students.

Unbirthday Party Rules (related to food)

Rule 25: There must be a tea party on the 5th of every month.

Rule 29: You must not eat the Queen's tarts without her permission.

Rule 153: The only tea you may drink in the evenings is herbal tea.

Rule 186: Do not eat hamburger steak on Tuesdays.

Rule 256: You must not drink lemonade with honey past 8 pm.

Rule 271: You must get up from the table within 15 minutes after eating lunch.

Rule 339: Your post-meal tea must be lemon tea with 2 sugar cubes.

Rule 529: If you eat steak on the night of a full moon, a cat must play the violin afterwards.

Rule 562: Do not bring chestnut tarts to an unbirthday party.

Rule 648: You must brush your teeth 2 times on nights when you eat turkey.

Rule 703: Whoever comes in 2nd place in a croquet match must serve tea to the Queen (dorm leader) the next day.

If the dormouse wakes up at an unbirthday party, you are to paint its nose with jam.

Coffee is forbidden; tea must be served at all occasions except for birthdays.

According to Cater, sweets are mandatory at unbirthday parties.

Dwarves' Mine & Silent Woods

There is an abundance of wildlife in these areas; Jade often goes hiking and foraging, making note of what he finds. He uses the plants to make his own tea blends (which are sometimes added to the Mostro Lounge's menu) and the herbs, plants, and mushrooms to experiment with in cooking.

There are fish to be found at the lake, including massive catfish.

The Foothill Town

There is a port for mainly cargo ships located at the southwest part of town. It's called Crane Port! The east side has a port as well, but that one is moreso for passengers. Crane Port has been getting fewer and fewer people passing through lately (until Port Breeze Fest, in which the NRC boys run food stalls and help to revive business in the area). Group A makes churros, Group B makes waffles, Group C makes salads, Group D makes cotton candy, and Group E makes clam chowder.

A popular restaurant in the Crane Port area serves foods like french fries and burgers. Their signature menu item is a donut made from potatoes. Actually, this restaurant specializes in potato dishes!

There is a chain restaurant on the island that also has locations elsewhere, including in Ace's hometown. He mentions that there are slightly different flavors to the sauces depending on which location you go to. This chain is also described as affordable for students and gives free refills. There is a location of this chain a car ride away from Harveston.

The town also has other eateries that are more geared towards students, seeing as it exists on an island with two notable magic schools to the north and the south. Cater often mentions going into town to take pictures at cafes.

The town has a public market; the Ramshackle Ghosts resell mandrakes there.

There is a famous patisserie there. You have to line up early in the morning before opening time to get your hands on one of their strawberry tarts (or anything, really!).

There is a stall in the marketplace that sells specialty coffee. They also have a tea which Crewel enjoys (though he also brews his own).

Scalding Sands

General

The Scalding Sands seems to borrow heavily from Middle Eastern cultures. For example, some of the Scalding Sands’ traditional dishes include, but are not limited to: roasted lamb, moussaka, döner kebabs, shawarma, flatbreads, potato and bean spreads, and seafood sautés.

Tea is a popular beverage; it is had at every meal and break. People can drink up to 10 cups of tea a day!

The Scalding Sands specializes in black tea. For entertaining guests, special tea leaves are used.

In the Scalding Sands, they brew their tea leaves loose and without an infuser. This makes the tea very strong and bitter. To counteract the powerful flavor, people add lots of sugar to their tea and drink it with sweets.

“Luxurious” tea is very sweet, since sugar was once very expensive (due to a shortage of it, according to the localization) and considered a luxury.

Due to the hot weather, people often toss herbs into their tea to make it more refreshing to drink.

Coffee is also popular; there are many cafes that serve coffee and tea. The Scalding Sands is known in particular for their spiced coffee, which has a very distinctive flavor. This coffee is brewed without a filter, and some cafes do “coffee divinations” (reading the shapes and patterns of the grounds and the water droplets that remain after drinking to tell the fortunes of customers).

There are a lot of unique spices in their dishes. This is especially true of banquet dishes. However, a variety of dishes are still served at these occasions.

Kalim describes the Scalding Sands as being “big on stewed stuff” like curries.

In Kalim’s hometown, people love to gather around the table and talk over a meal.

Halloween in the Scalding Sands is celebrated by feasting on a variety of dishes. The idea is that the food must be abundant so that the ghosts that return to the world of the living for the night may also have their fill.

It used to be difficult for the people of the Scalding Sands to obtain water due to the lack of rainfall, hot climate, and expansive desserts. However, Kalim’s ancestors utilized the country’s rivers to reach other countries and to trade their textiles, spices, tea leaves, and other local goods with foreign lands. It was particularly impressive at the time, as they were the first traders from the Scalding Sands to sail (back then, accurate nautical maps were not a thing). This maritime pioneering is what would make the Asim family their massive fortune.

The Asims and other merchants heavily invested in technologies and innovations to make the area more sustainable and potable water more accessible.

The waterways of the country eventually developed into canals and communities formed around them as trade hubs. The canals are also used to host ferryboats for locals and tourists to sightsee, boosting the tourism industry. This also made access to water much easier for the residents, and the water helps to cool the temperature.

Silk City

The bazaars in Silk City are where locals do their shopping for various goods and staple foods like vegetables and fish. There are also stalls with gourmet food that cater to tourists.

Camel Bazaar is named after camels, which were used to transport people, goods, and luggage before Silk City’s canals and roads came to be. There also used to be an oasis where the camels would rest and drink after long treks; this oasis became a center for commerce and eventually evolved into a marketplace. To this day, the name “Camel” has stuck, even if people use trucks, ships, and cars more than camels.

There is also Zahab (”Gold”) Market, which is popular with tourists for shopping (especially for souvenirs!) but also has swindlers and pickpockets mixed in with regular customers.

Many snacks are sold! There’s camel milk chocolate, cookies drizzled in syrup, sunflower seeds, pistachios, chickpeas, all kinds of nuts, dried fruits (including dates), jams, jellies, syrups, starfruit, dragonfruit, etc. 

(Lamb) shawarma is described as meat roasted on a spit and served on baguettes or pita bread. Because grease drips off while it cooks, it is “surprisingly healthier” than one expects it to be. Shawarma is also customarily served with vegetables (tomatoes, onions, olives, jalapenos, etc.) and sauces (yogurt, garlic, chili, hummus (a paste of garlic and chickpeas), mayo basil, etc).

There is a vendor that can supply large quantities of sweet and refreshing coconut water; this is because they’re used to providing for Kalim’s extravagant and excessive tastes. They create a hole in the top and provide straws to poke in and use to drink the water. The coconut flesh inside is also edible.

There are a lot of bread stalls; bread is also another staple food, and it comes in many sizes, shapes, and textures. Small roadside bakeries have wood-fired ovens which allow them to serve bread fresh to customers.

One stand sells baguettes that are taller than many children; these “tower baguettes” are a famous Fireworks Festival treat. People say that if you eat a big one, you’ll never go hungry again! The saying comes from a story of a young man that shared bread with hungry children. It’s because of that story that baguettes are considered a good luck food that many vendors sell on holidays.

The Camel Bazaar sells an elastic ice-cream (based on a similar irl frozen Turkish confection). It is kneaded on a pole and stretched out; customers are meant to “catch” it in their cups and cones. It’s food performance art! All the stretching makes the texture very unique.

There’s a fruit stand that is only open on festival days which sells a Silk Melon sundae; the fruit is hollowed out to host ice-cream (of the same melon flavor!) and toppings which make it very photogenic.

Starfruit is usually put in salads, according to Trey.

The dragonfruit sold is recommended to be eaten with honey. You drizzle it on top of a slice and eat!

Silk City’s signature fruit is the Silk Melon. It is called that because of its silky texture and sophisticated sweetness. It can’t be found in many other countries. The man of legend that shared his bread with a starving child is said to split a melon with his friend, even though he did not have much money to spare. It’s because of this tale that people started saying if you share Silk Melon with someone, it would make your friendship or romance last forever. Now the fruit is a festival staple and considered a symbol of good fortune.

In the past, water was only used for irrigation due to its scarcity. Some gave up on farming after years of trying to produce crops and failing—but others refused to give up and cultivated the land to made it fertile, something which future generations would reap the benefits of.

The fruits and veggies sold Camel Bazaar are freshly picked and grown locally. Jamil says this is possible because the arid climate actually helps with growing crops of high quality. Produce raised with less water concentrates flavor since the final fruit will have a higher sugar content. Because of this, Silk City’s produce is prized by chefs all over Twisted Wonderland. Of course, you can get them at an affordable prize in Camel Bazaar!

Shaftlands

General

The Shaftlands are famous for its jeweled pineapples.

The Shaftlands spans a large area of land and has drastically different climates depending on the part of it you're looking at. Therefore, we can deduce that foods and customs surrounding food are very different as well.

City of Flowers/Fleur City

The city’s food culture seems to be inspired by real world Paris, or at the very least, France.

Bread is a local specialty, particularly very buttery kinds. As you walk down the streets, you can smell bread baking. The City of Flowers has 10x (or more) the variety of bread that Sage's Island offers, and has an abundance of bakeries too.

Bread-making is popular in the City of Flowers. The windmills at the edges of the city grind grains to produce fresh flour. There are also watermills powered by the Soleil River to assist with making flour.

Because wheat is plentiful in this area, some of it is also used for desserts. One such confection is financier, which is made from a combination of wheat flour, almond flour, and butter. It resembles a gold bar, so eating one is said to bring financial prosperity.

Lately, gluten-free desserts have been trendy.

A dessert that does not use wheat flour is macarons. In the City of Flowers, they are yellow and shaped like bells to honor the Bell of Salvation which oversees the community and provides magic that helps rare plants grow in the area. The filling is a ganache with dried bits of grapes and apples.

Grape juice is popular in the City of Flowers, as the fruit is another specialty. You can buy the grapes raw and eat them as is, or ask a vendor to crush it (skin still on!) into juice for you. Some buy the grapes to give as gifts!

The grapes are grown in vineyards right outside of the city, and the farmers are constantly experimenting to improve their breeds. They taste very rich, tangy, and sweet.

The City of Flowers is also known for its many specialty cheese shops. Together, bread and cheese are called the staple foods of the city, and are sometimes eaten together. One specialty cheese shop the boys visit sells baguettes topped with ham and rich melted cheese.

The city considers goats a symbol of good luck, so they are treated with care. There are many community goats (which are just as common as domesticated cats or dogs) allowed to roam freely in the city. It is said that if you treat the community goats with kindness, they will come rescue you in your time of need.

Goat milk is used in some of the specialty cheeses produced by the city. The grapes mentioned earlier are also made into fruit compotes to go with the cheeses.

They served a roast beef at the young mage’s social; this was infused with spices and evenly heated.

Harveston

This village has many dishes that borrow from a mixture of irl Nordic cultures. There’s also an emphasis on having hometown pride and the community itself being very close.

Crows often damage the apples Harveston grows. The community comes together to put up nets and make noises to scare them off.

As expected, many of Harveston's dishes feature apples: apple pie, grilled and roasted apples, apple salad, apple pound cakes, etc.

Epel's family has an apple orchard that has been in the family for generations. They grow different kinds of apples throughout the year. Many of his neighbors are older people who also raise produce, and they help each other out when they're short on hands. The community is very tightly knit because of this, and treat each other like extended family.

Harvest season (autumn) is the busiest time of year; once that's over, everyone comes together to have a party. It's a potluck style celebration where everyone brings a homemade dish or homegrown food to share.

Harveston preserves its produce (such as apples and wild greens) by pickling them and serving them in salads. The bright colors are maintained by boiling the produce in a copper pot, which stabilizes the pigments. It's wisdom passed down from generation to generation.

There is also pickled herring, traditionally eaten on bread. Brining preserves the fish while it is still raw and doesn't dry it up. It's ready to eat right out of a jar, no cooking required.

The local stew is not very thick. It tastes sweet because of the added vegetables and savory because of the tender meat in it. There is also a salmon broth sprinkled with herbs which is described as "melty".

Fruits and vegetables can be packed in snow to keep them preserved. This method is called “snow aging” and prevents evaporation. In the old days, the villagers would build whole farms out of snow. In modern day, they just shovel the snow into a barn. This creates a natural fridge that will naturally thaw in the summers. Snow aging in this manner makes the produce sweeter and more nutritious.

The next town over is a three-hour bike ride. The roadside has many apple trees you can enjoy during the trip.

You can easily pick apples off the branch and eat them fresh! Farmers can snack on apples while picking.

Harveston is surrounded by tall mountains that are snow-capped all year, the most famous one being Mt. Moln. The greenery around Harveston is due to the spring water irrigation which runs down from Mt. Moln.

Most of Harveston’s land is used for orchards, and apples are their main produce. They also make many products using those apples like chips, rice crackers, and cookies.

Fall apples are sweeter, while winter ones are more sour. Winter apples are unique to Harveston.

Harveston also grows a lot of garlic.

Harveston farming is done the old fashioned way, as the predominantly older population distrusts chemical fertilizers and biotechnology.

Some villagers like the mayor and Marja (Epel’s grandma) adjust their accent to communicate with people from outside the village. Marja says she switches up when she’s selling goods in another town, since it can be tricky for non-Harveston locals to understand.

Hand washing before eating is a must! They take the act very seriously in Harveston. Stories say the miners of the past used to get very sick due to poor hygiene, but their health improved drastically once they started washing regularly with soap and water. It was difficult for them to get treatment because the town is so remote and far from hospitals or doctors, so the best thing is stressing prevention. This why the townspeople are sticklers about hand washing now.

To wash the Harveston way, you plunge your hands into ice cold water and make it all foamy with soap. You also scoop the water up and splash your face as well (as the miners from the past would also do this).

You can catch salmon in the nearby river.

Apple Square is the main festival venue; it has many vendor stalls in an area called Kokko (which means “Bonfire”) Market. The Sledathon is the most lucrative time of year for the townsfolk.

Many of their products are made locally by the older folks in town. The goods aren’t trendy or very fancy, but they’re high-quality and made with Harveston pride.

The stalls give apple juice, apple tea (which has fruit pieces floating in it), and apple ginger tea for free. The apple juice is one of Harveston’s most popular products.

Giant five-meter apple pies are made for the Sledathon. They’re considered one of the main attractions, and you can get a slice from them free of charge.

There are other stalls that sell regular apple pie too. Every vendor has their own style, from the apples used to the crust and baking technique.

There are other kinds of fruit pies for sale, but apples are the most popular and “special” ones. The Beautiful Queen had a preference for apple pies, so the townspeople do too.

Harveston apple pies have such an entrancing flavor that the nearest city has stores that stock them. Critics say that Harveston apple pies make anyone drool and that the best way to convince someone to do you a favor is to gift one.

Harveston holds an apple competition to find the reddest apple. This is because the Beautiful Queen prized beautifully red apples. In the past, the townspeople would offer the reddest apple from the season’s harvest to the Beautiful Queen. Over time, it evolved into the apple competition.

Kokko Market makes pancake balls from a flour batter and top it with jam. It’s prepared in a pan and with methods similar to takoyaki, coming out crispy on the outside and fluffy on the inside.

Pancakes also come in a square form. In Harveston, pancakes are baked in the oven instead of on the stove. Some people cook pancakes in the fireplace too; this makes them tender, thick, and pudding-like.

There are many grains used for bread: sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, oats, flax seeds, sesame seeds, rye, wheat...

Barbeque is served for large gatherings and celebrations.

Cooking tends to be done in the fireplace instead of on a stove, especially in the case for stews. It keeps the room warm in winter while the food cooks.

Harveston has a bean and fruit soup. Most other places serve it cold, but those in Harveston sometimes enjoy it warm. It’s a thick consistency and the fruit in it has been dried.

Farmers drink tea on their breaks between work.

When setting the dining table, people in Harveston leave one extra plate out. This tradition comes from a story about a traveler visiting a family’s house and being surprised by the messy state of it. The traveler cleaned the house and cooked a nice meal for the family. From this story came the belief that as long as you leave a plate at your table, you’ll never want for food or go hungry.

Sandwich cakes are common party centerpieces. They are made with bread and vegetables, topped with shrimp, deviled eggs, olives, apples, and salmon slides arranged in a rose shape. The frosting on it is made from mayonnaise and sour cream, making sandwich cakes more salad than dessert.

They sell cherries and other berries by volume. Also sold are vegetables and juice, freshly squeezed.

Because Harveston is located in a mountainous region, there are rare varieties of mushrooms to be found. These can be served in a traditional mushroom soup, which can be finicky to prepare (so usually only experts make it). Mushrooms are also cooked in butter and served in sandwiches.

Mushrooms, herbs, and flowers are foraged from the nature (both public mountains and private woods). Locals usually don’t buy plants that are wild when they can pick it themselves. Instead, they’re sold to tourists.

Good foraging spots on Moln Mountain are kept secret so people don’t overharvest. The mountains are dangerous in winter, so foraging has to be done in spring or summer.

Harveston brines raw fish like salmon in a mixture of salt, sugar, pepper, and fill. In the old days, brined salmon was buried in sand to let it ferment.

Fish is dried to preserve it and to enhance the flavor. Before there were proper roads, it was hard to bring in food for the winter, so Harveston relied on foods preserved in the spring. They last for a long time and have many uses (such as in soup stock or to eat straight up). To this day, preserved meats and vegetables are a local specialty and new methods such as roasting have been developed for preservation.

Sunset Savanna

General

The food here appears to be inspired by African cultures of the real world.

Fruit is more plentiful than grains.

There is floral cacao in the Sunset Savanna. It bears fruit only once every 10 years.

Gummy bugs are popular and a Halloween staple.

The people of the Sunset Savanna value living in harmony with nature and will go out of their way to adapt to the land (due to the high population of beastmen, who have animal ancestors). Because of this, they oppose change that could damage the environment. There are some parts of this arid country that still rely on wells for their drinking water needs. They also hold the Tamashina-Mina festival every year to pray for rain.

Sautéed mutton is a common meal in this country. Leona brags that the Sunset Savanna is top notch when it comes to cooking meats.

The bananas of the Sunset Savanna are starchy and resemble potatoes (similar to plantains). They are steamed and served as a staple food. They’re faintly sweet and are actually very light and easy to digest.

It’s easier to grow fruit instead of wheat and rice in their climate.

Rice hull crepes, another staple, are served with a stew that you pour over it. The stew comes in variants such as a white fish stew simmered in tomato sauce, spinach and potato stew, beef stew, etc. There are also many side dishes you can enjoy with the crepes. The crepes aren’t meant to be eaten alone, as they taste too sour solo.

The phrase “that’s the Circle of Life” is a proverb that has been around for ages. The strong eat the weak, then when the strong die, their bodies become nutrients for the grass which feeds the next generation of prey animals. Life comes “full circle”, and the proverb indicates this delicate balance.

The Sunset Savanna is famous for its coffee. It tastes spicy, not bitter, because the custom is to add spices to the drink.

Food prep performances seem to be common for the wealthy; Leona mentions seeing big fish filleted before being served.

Yogurt is considered a “healthy dairy” and is typically served for breakfast.

Elephant Graveyard

The Elephant Graveyard, once considered a scary and lawless place (the “shadow lands” which were not a part of the original kingdom), has become a tourist destination—something akin to a spa.

They are known for selling vanilla cookies shaped like bones.

The hot springs at the Elephant Graveyard have kettles hidden by the steam. The hot water vapor cooks onsen tamago (a traditionally Japanese irl dish) and puddings. It imparts a slightly salty and sulfurous flavor and smell to the foods.

Sunrise City

The Raintree Market is a bazaar that features many foods and drinks.

Many snacks sold in the marketplaces are local specialties, so they’re popular as souvenirs.

Wild and cultivated hibiscus flowers are boiled with sugar to produce a red juice. There is also a white juice, which is made using wild baobab (which is full of nutrients; people call it a beauty elixir you can drink). A legends says that, long ago, members of the royal family would have their foreheads painted with baobab juice when they were born. That’s how the fruit became a local specialty.

In the original tale, the juice for marking foreheads was red. It seems that, over time, the color was changed to white by word of mouth, with the latter description fitting more with the white fruit of the baobab. Because of this change, more and more stalls have been selling a mixture of hibiscus juice and baobab juice.

The baobab fruit is also used to make a particular sour candy. The candy is dyed with red food coloring and is then dusted with sugar and chili powder. It’s described as having a “mature” flavor. Leona has liked this candy since he was a child.

Mangoes are a local specialty! Vendors will happily cut open the fruit for you to enjoy on the spot.

Other notable fruits for sale are tart passionfruit and creamy but smelly jackfruit. The latter is considered the largest fruit in Twisted Wonderland and grows on its tree’s trunks.

The Sunset Villa is a luxurious hotel that hosts VIPs and important guests of the state. They offer a large selection of drinks (fruit juice, black tea, coffee…) and serve whole slabs of steak in front of you before serving at luxurious barbecues. After dinners, they have dance performances.

There is an enormous sausage that’s wrapped up in a coil. If unwound, it’s a meter long. It’s meant to be cut with scissors before eating. The sausage’s herbs make it taste refreshing, and its meat is finely grounded to allow its flavors to come through.

Seafood is fresh and cheap, provided you live by the sea or in a coastal region like Dawn City. In more inland areas, seafood is considered a luxury.

Their seafood tends to be cooked with strong spices.

Ruggie’s yet-to-be-named hometown

Because the residents are poor, their food is usually made from collected scraps (such as pumpkin pie made predominantly from the pulpy parts) or prepared with substitutions and without extra flourishes. For example, Ruggie’s grandma prepares homemade donuts for his birthday but they couldn't afford fancy toppings (until Ruggie started working to bring in extra income).

It’s implied that there were instances when Ruggie (and presumably others from his hometown) had to eat rotten food or out of trash cans to get by.

Queendom of Roses

General

There is reference to some irl UK foods in this region, such as the jacket potato.

The Queendom of Roses is famous for its rose jelly rolls. Roses are the flower the country is best known for, of course, but they also have lavender, rosemary, sweet violet, foxglove, bluebells, and many berries.

People from this country eat flowers (which are specifically grown for eating). Flowers are also used for dried flower bookmarks? potpourri, etc.

The Queendom has a good selection of breads.

Apparently, the Queendom also has a strong “tea culture”.

People in the Queendom of Roses eat a lot of different pastries (pies, tarts, quiches, croissants, scones, etc). Croissant donuts (cronuts) in particular have been pretty trendy lately. They’re donuts made with croissant batter, so they come out super flaky. They are sometimes sold with iced tea as a combo.

Potatoes are a staple food.

Jacket potatoes are common at festivals; they are potatoes baked with the skin (ie “jacket”) still on. The standard topping for them is baked beans, but you can also have tuna mayo corn, bean chili, sour cream, avocado, and other things.

Anyone that grew up in the Queendom of Roses has probably done the “cookie smash” at least once as a kid. (More info on this under the “Clock Town” section!)

The Queendom is known for lavender, berries, and rosemary.

Riddle and Trey's yet-to-be-named hometown

Trey's family owns a bakery (called "Patisserie Clover" according to the TWST manga). It seems to be a small "mom and pops" shop with no particular notoriety. However, the manga implies that it was the Clover bakery where Riddle saw the strawberry tarts and became entranced by them. This is also where Riddle would later try his first strawberry tart.

In Riddle and Trey's hometown, people enjoy apple bobbing during the Halloween season.

Before interview: Riddle was worried whether they can start on time and was relieved when Vil showed up and Vil was pretty smug about it lmao

There is a farm not too far from where Riddle lives; it is famous for its ice-cream buns. There is also a cafe located on the farm! It opened shortly after Riddle entered NRC and is so popular that it’s spoken about in magazines and tourists go there just to sample their sweets.

Clock Town

The people of Clock Town value time and punctuality due to the town's connection to the White Rabbit, who was always in a hurry. Many of the foods sold at stalls are things that are easy to hold and eat while walking, such as sliced sandwiches.

The Clock Town Folk Museum mentions a girl that appears in the story of the White Rabbit. She ate cookies that made her grow large; the museum recreates this experiment by projecting a large image of guests that eat cookies they have set out.

The Clock Town Folk Museum also runs a bugle-playing contest. The participation prize is a carrot cookie.

Clock Town sells a brand of potato chips with the White Rabbit logo on them.

The town also sells cookies iced to look like a pocket watch. The icing is made from a mixture of sugar and egg whites (“royal icing”) which hardens considerably. You’re meant to crush the cookie with a hammer to make it into smaller pieces, making it easier to eat. It’s based on the story of the White Rabbit breaking his pocket watch. Others tried to help him fix it by hitting it with a hammer, but it didn’t help at all, only damaged it more!

A lot of people enjoy growing plants, gardening, and horticulture, including stuff that can be eaten like herbs.

Sausage rolls are served in pairs to resemble bunny ears; the container they come in resembles the White Rabbit. They’re sausages wrapped in a pie crust/puff pastry dough, and come in cheese (with a shortcrust pastry similar to what is used for tarts to help hold its shape) and a spicy sausage (with a puff pastry that makes it flaky) variant for the White Rabbit Festival.

There are large mushrooms that grow in Clock Town; eating one side will turn you large, eating the other side will turn you small. The girl in the story of the White Rabbit has eaten these strange mushrooms before. These mushrooms are said to be enchanted and only work in a particular area; its effects last for ~1 minute after eating.

[rileyslibrary]

An Unlikely Duo

Request by ✨ anon: Can I perhaps get a Ghost x GN!Reader, where reader got transferred to TF 141 and has two personalities? Like cold and badass on the battlefield and super friendly and chirpy back at base. So Reader, on day 1, already sees Ghost as a best friend and she loves hugs, so she decides to hug him after a missions success and leaves him frozen and a blushing mess?

Relationship: Simon “Ghost” Riley x GN!Reader

Word Count: 1,310

Notes:

Big thanks to my ✨ anon for requesting this. I enjoyed writing it! Hope I did well on my first request!

Fluff (the platonic kind)

Want more?

———————————————————————

You walk behind him, holding a container filled with freshly washed strawberries. His strides are long and confident, making it hard for you to keep up with him as you walk to the truck.

“Would you like a strawberry?” You ask, extending the container to him, but he ignores you and quickens his pace.

You try to catch your breath as you follow him, but it’s difficult. Whenever you think you’re closing the gap, he increases his speed and pulls away again. You break into a light jog to stay close.

“So, I presume... you’re not... a strawberry fan?” You ask, out of breath. Instead of responding, he lets out a dismissive “tsk” and continues walking.

“Why don’t you like str-”

“Get that damn thing away from me and keep moving,” he says as he pushes your hand away. “We have work to do; no time for strawberries.”

You come to a complete halt. “With all due respect, Lieutenant, strawberries are-”

“Just get in the damn car,” he orders, opening the back door and gesturing for you to get inside.

It’s your first day as the newest member of Task Force 141, and the base already feels like a powder keg. But that doesn’t bother you; you’re excited to be a part of such an elite team and contribute as much as possible to future missions. Soap and Gaz were surprised but amused by your cheerful personality when they met you this morning. However, not everyone on the team seems to be on the same page; Ghost was less than impressed. He sized you up from head to toe, looking for any sign that you were ready for the mission. But, instead of finding comfort, he was met by your cheery attitude and endless questions about his fruit preferences.

“What is this, Captain?” He grumbled at Price, “I asked for an explosives specialist, not a fucking Jack Russell.”

“Laswell swears by their abilities,” Price reassured him, “just give ’em a chance, brother...”

Despite his trust in the captain, Ghost remained skeptical. Was it the way you expressively waved your hands while speaking? Was it because you couldn’t stop talking about strawberries? Was it because you couldn’t stop talking in general? Whatever the reason, Ghost was clearly not on board.

He has the same attitude as he sits across from you in the truck, driving to your assigned mission. It’s a look of concern and contempt. as if he can’t believe what fate has brought him this time—like he’s been dealt bad cards yet again.

But that’s okay; you’re used to feeling like an outcast, and you’re not going to let that get in the way of this mission’s success.

“Yo, Lt.?” You ask excitedly, attempting to break the ice by pulling a purple star-shaped charm from your pocket, “Do you like it?”

He looks at you with half-lidded eyes. “You look like you just got out of a toy store.” He comments flatly.

“That wasn’t my question, sir,” you say wryly, “and if that’s the case, then you look like you just got back from trick-or-treating.” You smile and attach the charm to your assault rifle.

“Take that off this instance,” he says, “I won’t let you and your sparkles hinder our position.”

“Okay, first of all, they’re not sparkles—they’re sequins,” you say, waving your gun around so he can see the charm, “and second, they won’t even see it when they’re dead.”

“Stop talking.” He sighs.

“I’m conversing, not talking.”

“Then stop conversing.”

“Like, who doesn’t like strawberries?” you ask, lowering your voice.

“I told you to stop.”

“And sequins are pretty cool, man.” You mutter to yourself as you cross your hands over your chest.

“Shut it and put your helmet on; we’re almost there,” Ghost says sternly.

You fall silent as you gaze out the window at the passing scenery. The tension in the truck is intense, but you refuse to let it get to you. Instead, you take a deep breath and relax.

As the truck comes to a stop, Ghost explains the goal of the mission: get to the door where the valuable information is stored and collect as much intel as possible. After his brief rundown, you quickly exit the vehicle and assume position. It’s game time, and you’re determined to prove to everyone what you’re capable of.

You move fluidly through the environment, using your firearms, knives, and bare hands with precision to take out any targets that come your way. You are agile and swift, never staying in one place for too long and using your surroundings to your advantage. He takes quick glimpses at you every now and then to check if you are okay. He seems impressed yet wary; as if he’s testing you to see if you’re up for the challenge, yet careful enough to not put you in danger. As you work through the guarded area, you keep calm and focus on the task, finally reaching the steel-framed door. However, the door remains unyielding despite using military-grade hammers and refuses to budge.

You turn towards Ghost to plan your next move when you notice an enemy approaching him from behind.

“Get down, Lt.!” You yell and throw a knife at the enemy. The lieutenant is stunned but quickly regains his composure. He turns to thank you, but you cut him off.

“This isn’t a playground, Lt.; I don’t need a babysitter, and I certainly won’t become yours.” You firmly tell him as you push him aside and place the purple star-shaped charm on the door’s lock. “Step back,” you order.

Ghost looks at you, puzzled.” What is-”

“You must learn when it’s the right time for chit-chat and when to listen to the specialist, sir; please take a step back.” You repeat, and he follows your instructions.

With everyone clear of the area, you pull the cord and duck for cover. Five seconds later, your bomb detonates, blasting open the door and granting you access to the information inside. You quickly survey the room and pinpoint the location of the vital information. You approach it with calculated precision, relying on your training and experience to predict potential threats. The room is full of guards, but you’re prepared for them; you take them out, using your weapons with deadly accuracy. The intel is kept in a secure case, and you begin working on cracking it open. You have a special tool for the job, and the lock gives way in seconds. You open the case and extract the valuable information.

After a quick glance at the documents, you are pleased to see that it is exactly what you were hoping for. Ghost calls for backup to secure the scene, collect the documents, and transport them back to the base. As he completes his orders, he turns to the team for a debriefing, but instead is met by the old, cheerful you.

“LT., WE DID IT!” You yell and leap onto Ghost, wrapping your arms around his waist and hugging him tightly. He freezes and raises his hands as if he’s been arrested for a crime.

“Get off me,” he orders with an unusually high-pitched voice.

“No, you deserve it.” You object and proceed to pat him on the back.

“I did nothing wrong to deserve this, soldier; get your fucking ha-”

“Shhh, Lieutenant.” You cut him off by putting your hand over his mouth to silence him. “You must feel the hug.”

“I said-”

“They’re right, Ghost,” Soap interrupts him with a sinister grin, “you must feel the hug.”

“Yeah, listen to the specialist, sir,” Gaz adds, trying hard not to laugh.

Ghost looks at Price for help, who has a satisfied smirk on his face. The captain turns to Ghost and mouths an inaudible “told you so,” establishing you as a valuable member of their team from now on.

———————————————————————

[schoenpepper]

Isekai'd Chronicles 2

Intro: Heartslabyul in an isekai AU.

Warnings: bad writing, awful grammar, proofread by quillbot, almost falling in Riddle's part, mentions of poisoning in Trey's part, also a little suggestive on Trey's, just a bit

A/N: I'm happy the previous parts seem well liked. I'm currently working on the endings, but it might take a while, so please remain patient. Thank you, and I hope you enjoy!

Masterlist

Your childhood friends leave a year earlier than you do for the magic school, but it's fine. That means you have one more year to prepare yourself before going to the battlefield, which may or may not be your deathbed. After all these years, you've finally become an accomplished heir! You even dabble in a little bit of swordsmanship in your spare time, and your father tells you you'll make for an excellent knight should you wish for it. Maybe you would have taken up his offer if you were still that same person from years ago, but now you want to face your fate head-on! In any case, Jamil and Kalim were still waiting for you in the magic school, and you just can't let them down. Your first day there is a mess, though.

It's a boarding school with dormitories for all sorts of races, and with one wrong turn after the other, you find yourself stepping off a cloud and plummeting to your doom. You're caught in the air by magic, safely levitated back up to the cloud by a red-headed angel who scolded you to Heaven and back for being reckless, as well as going to the angels' dormitories when you're very clearly human.

Congratulations! You've met Riddle Rosehearts, the heir of the Saintess of Heaven!

He collars you with his signature magic, telling you to deal with it because it was obviously your fault for trespassing. And it is, but you didn't even know how you got up there! Apologies leave your lips and you promise, you're very sincere. It was an honest mistake. You were just human after all. Surely, being the smart and awesome and cool angel he is, he wouldn't hold it against you? His forgiveness comes at the price of one (1) strawberry tart. The next day, you come by his dorm, on purpose this time, and tell him that you even brought nice lemon tea as proof that you were super duper really sorry. The collar comes off.

Now, you're not stupid. Riddle isn't good news because he's a capture target, you know? But your new friends, Ace and Deuce (who are in no way related to the original game), are also angels! And you see Riddle more often than you would have liked, but he's... not terrible, actually. He's a stickler for the rules, but you find that bribing him with sweets is an easy way to get a more lenient sentence. He's kind and smart, and you find yourself asking for his help for certain subjects when Jamil was way too busy looking after Kalim (and the rest of the human dormitory). When you start to think of him as a sort of friend, he confides that his upbringing was a bit too tough, even for Heaven, and that he's now scared of breaking the rules his mother had set in fear of losing it all.

And you sigh. You can be friends with him, probably. He's okay. Then, that's another male lead who might not kill you.

Your fingers gently trace the pure white feathers that grew on his wings. "Your wings are so beautiful, Riddle senpai." You praise happily, pulling off dirt and hair from little nooks and crannies.

"Um, thank you, I suppose." Your hand reaches the tip of his wing, brushing against a bent feather.

"Can I pull off the damaged feathers?"

Riddle nods, and you take it as your cue to snap off the pretty thing and hold it out next to him. "Can I keep it? It'll make for a cute necklace, I think."

Riddle pauses, his face turning as red as his hair. You feel like you've offended him somehow, but he nods again, looking away. "...It's yours, then, if you want it."

You really need a break. All you've done recently is study! And as you face the two sleeping idiots with their heads buried under books, you decide to go and raid the angel dormitory's kitchen. Anyway, if Riddle found out someone ate his pastries, you could just say that you were never there in the first place! Yes, yes, as slithery as a snake, invisible like a middle child.

You tiptoe your way down the stairs and thank the literal Heavens that the angels' dorm had a strict curfew, so no one can even catch you in the act.

Ha, sike.

The lights are on, and it smells like paradise, if paradise were in the form of chocolate chip cookies. There's a tall, green-haired angel with glasses and a cheesy 'Kiss the Cook' apron, and he gives you a mischievous grin and a cookie to buy your silence. You chew on the delicious treat with your eyes closed and think that it's just to die for. No, really, because the person who gave you the cookie is none other than Trey Clover. And in the otome game, the villain died via poisoning on this to-be-archbishop's route. So be a smart cookie, turn tail, and run. You should do that. Right. But when he mumbles something about there being chocolate mousse and banana pudding in the fridge that might also buy your silence, you agree to his terms and gorge yourself on desserts while seated on the counter, your legs swinging while you chat with him. He's stress baking, he says, because third-year assignments have been piling up, and you learn that he's learned how to bake and make treats from his grandfather, who'd learned how to do it from some human.

Your frequent study sessions with the ADeuce combo are punctuated with you sneaking off in the middle of the night and eating whatever Trey's making. You feel a little guilty, just enough to offer to help, and you feel so honored when he buys you your own little 'Kiss the Cook' apron as a gift. You two start to bake together sometimes after class, and he's very enjoyable company. He's really nice, and he makes unfunny dad jokes while he tells you about random things that happened in his day, and you rant his ear off about your troublesome duo as well as your thoughts of getting a cat. You think he's a really sweet guy, and it's not long before you take out the journal of otome game things you've been keeping since you were three, just to cross his name out like the other ones.

Trey is safe. He's a fun older brother kind of guy, responsible, and mature. He wouldn't poison you if he got himself a significant other. Then there's only ten more guys to avoid. Good job, you!

Trey laughs as another handful of flour makes its way onto his face, and he easily repays the favor by smearing cream onto yours.

"Stop! I give, I give!" You surrender in fits of giggles, now finding yourself in between him and the counter. The laughter dies down, but his signature smirk is there. "Don't you give up just a bit too easily? You started it, after all." He teases, caging you in with his arms.

"Please, it's a strategic retreat."

"Is that so?"

"Obviously."

There's a few seconds of silence as he stares into your eyes. You move slyly to swipe a dab of flour from the counter, gently tapping it onto his nose. "I won, senpai."

[storm-angel989]

Outside the office

Longtime reader and writer. First time poster! Let me know what you think- I have pages of this story to share if there is any interest. <3 Enjoy!

“Vox, these pancakes are the best!” 

Another sleepy Sunday morning at home. Or at least, the place I called home these days. My arrival to hell six years ago had left me uneasy- displaced from the only world I had ever known. Upon my arrival, Lucifer immediately deposited me in one of the biggest power circles in Hell. With a kiss on the cheek and a warning to behave- lest I end up like my mother and father- he disappeared, off to running hell or heaven- I honestly wasn’t sure at this point.  

“Not better than mine though, right Princessa?” Valentino’s voice rang with teasing disapproval. 

I caught his eye and grinned. “I don’t know. Last I checked you didn’t put strawberries AND chocolate chips in your pancakes.”

“Take that!” Vox semi shouted. “Even your wife agrees I’m the better cook!” 

Lighthearted bickering broke out between the two of them. I caught the eye of Velvette, the only other girl in our group and she rolled her eyes, as amused as I was.

I wouldn't have guessed when I first arrived in hell that these three demons would eventually be the family I had left behind. Upon my arrival in hell, Lucifer warned that that these demons were three of the most powerful overlords in this ring of hell. Coming from a world where demons were slaughtered on sight- and the opposite held true for angels- meeting a demon off the battlefield for the first time took every inch of my self control to not allow the instincts I worked so hard to develop to overtake me. 

When I first met Vox, I was taken aback. For a demon, he was surprisingly friendly. According to Lucifer, he controlled the television airwaves and heavily utilized video and electricity to exert control over a host of sinners. Walking into his studio for the first time felt like stepping into energy territory- at least until the demon spoke. 

“First time meeting a demon?” Vox seemed amused. “Nothing to be afraid of, I assure you. At least, not for you Princess.” He extended his hand and I shook it out of politeness. His twisted smile grew wider, revealing a set of sharp teeth. “Don’t worry your highness, we will take excellent care of her.” 

Lucifer looked unconcerned. “You know the consequences if you don’t.” His phone rang and he looked at the caller ID. “Sorry to rush out on you, but I have a meeting to get to. Ensure you follow through on your end of the bargain.” His eyes flashed red, a non verbal “or else”.

“Of course,” Vox replied smoothly. “We have her living quarters all set up- she’s welcome to settle in after I give her the grand tour. And don’t worry- our resident fashionista will help her…blend in.” He reached out as if to push my hair to the side but stopped himself. “She’s in excellent hands, your highness.” 

Lucifer looked unconcerned. A cold fear settled in my gut, followed by anger. He was leaving me? In the hands of this…creature? 

“See you later darling. Enjoy all Hell has to offer.” He leaned over and kissed my cheek before he vanished,  leaving me in the sole company of the TV demon. 

“Before we go any further, I need your phone.” Vox reached his hand out. 

I hesitated but pulled my pink flip phone out of my pocket and handed it to him. He dropped it on the ground and crushed it beneth his foot. 

“Hey! Why did you do that?” I demanded. 

“That technology? Ancient and easy to hack. Here. I preloaded Lucifers number, our numbers and that’s honestly the only contacts you need. Not only that, its the latest model. The public won’t have access to it until next month.” He handed me a rectangular shaped phone. 

“And this.” he handed me a matching pink watch. “Don’t take it off. It allowed me to know your vitals and your location at all times. If something was to happen to you, we could easily get to you.” 

Wouldn’t that be the first thing they took off? I wondered but didn’t say it. Vox  hit a few buttons and showed me how to unlock it just by looking at the screen. After a few minutes of playing with it, I started to grasp the concept. 

“Lucifer wasn’t lying when he said you were smart. Come. Follow me.” 

Vox turned to walk away and I trailed behind him.

“Well, might as well show you around. Couple things to be aware of. Obviously as Princess of Hell you can do as you please but know that Valentino's studio, Velvette’s  runway and my office are strictly for business. Enter at the wrong time and you may end up seeing things that…you’re not quite used to.” 

He pressed a button and an elevator door slid open. I stepped inside and I followed, standing quietly next to him. The sense of unease hadn’t left me since the moment I arrived in hell and the further into the building I ventured the deeper that fear became. 

“First floor is the entry. Second is my office and studio. Third and fourth belong to Val’s workspace and the fifth floor belongs to Velvette. The Sixth floor is our living space- that’s where you’ll be joining us. Your quarters are up there as well. Living room and kitchen are shared spaces, though we all value the privacy of our own bedrooms.” He smiled a bit darkly. “You’re welcome to join us for movie night.” 

Since when did demons watch movies? 

The elevator dinged to three and I stepped out behind him. The scene infront of us was pure chaos. Demons in various shapes, forms and stages of dress hustled around the open room. Clothes and racks were scattered about, being tossed aside and rehung quicker that I thought possible.  Against a white backdrop, three models stood as lightbulbs went off around them. 

Unlike Vox with his TV shaped head,  the demon in charge looked relatively human. Her purple, red and black hair was pulled up high in two ponytails- teased and curled to perfection. Her clothes boated the same color scheme as her hair, and she wore impossibly high black heels. It took me a moment to realize her color scheme was the same as Vox’s. 

I watched her bark orders in a way that would have made my father proud. As she spoke, her perfectly manicured fingers flew across the keyboard of her phone. I felt myself flush, suddenly overly aware of my own broken fingernails and very clear out of fashion clothing. 

Vox seemed undisturbed by the hustle, walking through it with ease.“Velvettle darling, meet the Princess.” 

She looked up for a moment and her expression twisted in what looked like annoyance.

“You got a name, Princess?”

They both looked at me expectantly. I felt my face flush with embarrassment. Had Lucifer really dropped me off to total strangers without so much as sharing my name?

“My name is reader.” I answered with a steadiness I didn’t quite feel in my gut. “Morningstar.” 

“Well, reader,  if this is how heaven is dressing these days you need more help than I thought.” She snorted in contempt. “Don’t worry love, we’ll get you fixed up in no time. After all, if you’re spending time with us you need to look the part.”

Vox grinned. “Have fun you two. Vel, be a dear and bring her upstairs when you’re done.” 

She turned away. “Yeah, yeah. You don’t need to tell me what to do.” She snapped her fingers. “Get to it.” 

Without another word I was whisked away into another room. Any sense of modesty vanished as Velvette's team inspected every inch of my body. Unlike the angels, they had no shame in ensuring I was plucked, waxed, and trimmed to Velvette’s desire. With all the strange hands touching me I felt trapped, and did my best to disassociate. I had to if I wanted to survive down here. Wasn’t that my fathers first rule? Show no fear. 

Velvette must have noticed my discomfort. After the waxing she shooed everyone away for a moment and handed me a bottle of water. 

“Don’t worry love, you’ll get used to it. Quicker, actually if you’re here with us.” 

I held the bottle and she rolled her eyes, reaching over and twisting the cap open. “No one here will hurt you. Outside of Lucifer’s domain, this is the safest place in all of hell for you. Promise. Now drink- I don’t want to be on the receiving end of Lucifer’s wrath if you fall ill on the first day.” 

I took a sip and she turned the chair I was in towards the mirror, running her fingers through my blonde hair. “You need some deep conditioning, a style and a few highlights, but your overall color is fantastic. You have a lovely shape- for a half angel. And those eyes…” She stepped around and cupped my chin. “Lovely. No one in hell has blue eyes like those.” 

“Thank you.” I replied softly. 

Velvette grinned. “Well look, the princess speaks! Look, let’s finish up here and get your wardrobe set up and sent up. Val is taking us out tonight, and you need to look the part. It would be an embarrassment to our brand otherwise.” She snapped her fingers and a team of demons hurried over.

“Who is Val?” I asked as she leaned back against the counter, watching her employees work. 

“Valentino. You’ll meet him soon enough. Right pain in the ass he is. Love him though.” 

Right. Lucifer warned me about him. Valentino controlled the porn industry in the same way Vox controlled the broadcasts and Velvette controlled fashion and social media. I couldn’t even imagine what my father would think if he knew...I pushed the thought from my head. My father was gone. This was my reality now. 

“And you three- Vox, Velvette, Valentino- you’re…royalty?” I asked to fill the silence. 

She laughed. “Royalty? Not far off. We’re overlords. We own millions of souls between the three of us.”

That nervous feeling rekindled in my stomach. “You own souls? What does that mean?”

Velvette shrugged. “It means mortals in the human realm, or sinners down here made a deal with us in exchange for their souls. And we collected.” 

If there wasn’t a pair of scissors next to my ear I would have jumped away. Owning souls? How did that even happen? Moreso that went against everything an angel stood for. Or at least, everything my angelic half used to stand for.

“Oh relax, your soul is safe.” Velvette snorted at my expression. “Lucifer would kill anyone who even attempted to make a move on your eternal being. Trust me dear, you have nothing to worry about. At least, not from us.”

Across the studio, someone yelled her name and she pranced off without so much as a goodbye. 

What felt like an eternity later, I was led to the elevator by Velvette. My blonde hair had indeed been trimmed and highlighted, blown out and teased. My broken fingernails were hidden under tiny plastic red surfboards and my normally bare face was covered in makeup. 

“Just come down to my studio each morning. I’ll get you dressed and done up. Nothing to worry about.” Velvette assured me as we stepped out of the elevator. 

I wasn’t quite sure what to expect when I tried to imagine where demons lived, but the room I stepped into was the exact opposite of anything I could have dreamed up. Dark hardwood floors were covered with plush rugs in deep blues, blacks and reds.  Couches on the left were placed in a U shape in front of a large TV and to the right was a full kitchen.Towering floor to ceiling windows covered the far wall and a table with six office chairs sat in front of it. Towards the left there were five hallways and  small alcoves scattered throughout the room hosted signs of the floor's inhabitants. Photos of the V’s, computer setups, a notebook with scribbles and swatches of fabric, to name a few items. 

“You’re the fifth hallway down,” Velvette said, leading me towards the left. “If you get lost, look up. They’re labeled.” 

I looked up towards the doorway entrance of each and sure enough, the names Valentino, Vox, blank, Velvette and Princess were labeled.

“Why is mine labeled Princess?” I asked as she led me down that hallway. “You couldn’t have had that much time to design.”

Velvette laughed. “Took hardly anytime at all. The boss man sent us a list and cash- we obliged. Your comfort here is of upmost importance.” She pushed open a second door and stepped inside.

I expected dark colors, blacks and reds but to my surprise the room was decorated in a sea of purples, grays and whites. A bed took up the center of the room and off to the left was a small living room area- complete with matching couches and a television. A desk with a pink computer set up sat to the right of the bed. The three doors on the remaining walls led to the walk in closet and bathroom, Velvette explained. 

“Anything else you need? Kitchen is stocked. If you need something, write it on the whiteboard on the fridge. Housekeeping will bring it up.” Velvette continued. “Same with bathroom products or anything really. We want to make sure you’re happy. Oh!” She snapped her fingers and pushed open one of the doors. “Your public clothes are in my studio- along with everyone else’s. Except mine, of course. I dress myself. But in our space comfort is important. I personally chose the loungewear in your closet. Not that you can leave the building but when you’re ready to get dressed in the morning, come down to my studio and we’ll get you taken care of.” Her eyes narrowed. “Loungewear shouldn’t be seen anywhere except up here and my studio. Understood?”

“Yes, thank you. This is lovely.” Lovely was an understatement. This place was a place compared to my fathers house. 

Velvette shrugged. “Just want to make sure you feel at home Princess. Come now, I’m sure Val and Vox are ready to go.” 

“Go where, again?” I asked, following her back down the hallway and to the elevator. 

She hit the button and stepped in. “Dinner. I’m starved, I can’t believe you’re not. And Val always picks the best places.”

Lucifer hadn’t said anything about the food down here. I wondered what exactly demons ate and a shiver ran up my spine. Babies, probably. Or corpses. Maybe small animals? The phone in my pocket vibrated and I opened up the text just as the elevator door opened. I followed Velvette into the lobby I had entered earlier, keeping my eyes on my phone. 

“Settling in alright love?” The sender name read “Uncle Lucy”. 

Cute. He was as much of an Uncle to me as Vox was my boyfriend. Still, maybe he could answer my questions.  What do demons eat? I typed back furiously. 

Three little dots appeared at the bottom of my screen and his answer popped up. 

Depends. Is Valentino choosing the place? Or Vox?

Valentino, I typed back. 

Three little dots and then, Steak most likely. Velvette dressed you?

I stared at the phone and typed back. Steak? Made of what, exactly?

What is steak made of in the angelic realm? Cow?

I scowled at the phone. I thought demons ate babies. And each other.

His response was instantaneous. LOL. Oh my sweet, that is something I would have warned you about. Everything you eat and drink is safe as long as you’re with the V’s or myself.

Okay, I typed back. 

Be safe love. And stick close to the V’s while you’re out. This scene is much, much more different than you’re used to. 

I wanted to snap my phone shut but instead the screen went black. I sort of missed it- snapping a phone shut at the end of a call was incredibly sadifying. 

“Ah, so you must be the princessa” 

His low drawl pulled me from my thoughts and I looked up to see the red eyes of a demon I hadn’t met yet. Involuntarily, I took a step back. 

“Pleasure to meet you sweetheart.” His smile, much like the others revealed a set of sharp teeth. He stood tall, taller than even my father with a thin frame. His eyes were hidden behind a pair of heart shaped glasses. Hearts adorned the red jacket he wore, and white fluff surrounded the edges and the trim. Under he wore what looked like a black suit. He reached out and took my hand, kissing it. 

“Nice to meet you too.” I tried to hide my fear, the internal screaming to run. 

He grinned wider. “Nothing to be afraid of mi amor. You’re safe as long as you stay with us. Come now. We don’t want to be late.” 

I hesitated. “Are you sure this is safe?”

“Don’t wander out of our sight, and you won’t have to worry about it, yeah?” Velvette replied impatiently. 

Vox leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Right as usual dear.” He turned towards the entryway door, holding it open. Velvette passed through, then me, then Vox and finally Valentino. 

A deep red limo was waiting at the curb for us. Vox got in first, then Velvette. I stepped back in hesitation but a firm hand touched the small of my back. 

“After you dear. “ Valentino  bent down and whispered. “Be between us, always. It’s not safe to wander these streets.” 

At his touch, I practically jumped in and chose a seat far away from the others, taking a deep breath. I watched the dynamic in front of me unfold. Vox, between Velvette and Valentino, looked completely comfortable, chatting about what I assumed was their work. Across the limo, Valentino shot me a grin. 

“So princessa, what brings you to hell?” He asked. 

Vox and Velvette fell silent, their attention turned to me. 

“My father ordered me here.” I responded, cheeks flushing. 

From the pocket of his coat, Valentino pulled out a long cigarette and took and draw, exhaling clouds of red smoke.

“Ah. The infamous demon killer. The hypocrite who consorted with the former princess of hell and created you. Tell me, Princess. Why does he want you here after all this time? After all you are…how old?”

I felt my temper flare, but bit it back. His words wern’t exactly unture, but I didn’t like thinking about it. “I’m twenty five.” I said through gritted teeth. 

He considered this for a moment, taking another drag. “Twenty five. That’s a long time to live away from half of yourself.”

“Val.” Vox interjected in a warning tone. One of his red eyes began to swirl. “Enough with the questions. We’re thrilled to have her here.”

“Of course we are.” He smiled. “Just making conversation, wondering why now, after all this time we’ve decided to…ah, explore ourselves.” 

“I go where I am told.” I retorted. 

His grin became wider. “Always?”

Thankfully at that moment the limo stopped and the door opened. This time, Valentino stepped out first. Vox gestured to me and I followed him out. The building in front of us was small, and brightly lit. I followed Valentino inside, Vox close behind me. 

The inside looked like a normal restaurant. We were seated immediately in a back room, and with the exception of the fact that the waiters looked like different demons, it seemed no different than someplace I would have dined at back home. 

Valentino ordered for the table and in moments I was presented with dinner. I studied it while the others dug in. Lucifer was probably right. What was on my plate looked like steak, definitely smelled like it too. Lucifer told me it was safe to eat. And truth be told- I was starving. I took a tiny bite, relieved that my dinner partners didn’t seem to pay much attention to me. It tasted fine, but I couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling that washed over me. I took a few more bites, then set my fork down. I just couldn’t shake my nerves. 

“That was great Val,” Vox leaned back in his chair. “What do you say we call it a night and head back?”

“Lame.” Velvette snorted. “The world needs to see the outfits I worked so hard to design. These nightly outings are not just for Val you know.”

Valentino took a long drag of his ciggarette and exhaled a trail of red smoke, looking at me and grinning. “Besides, we need to show the angel what a good time in hell looks like.” He stood up, and the others followed en-suite. Vox stepped aside, ensuring he was behind me as I followed them back to the limo. 

“Have you ever drank alcohol before, babe?” Valentino asked, stretching his arms out on the seat behind me. He didn’t make physicl contact, but he was close enough to make me uneasy. 

“Of course. I can go shot for shot with the most hardened angels.” I said defensively.

“Huh. Didn’t know angels drank.” Vox interjected thoughtfully as the limo pulled up to the next location. “Well good- then this should be a fun night.” 

The number 666 flashed in purple above the building. I hesitated. It looked like a club, and that wasn’t a scene I was allowed to explore. Behind me, Vox gave me a gentle nudge and with no other choice, I trailed behind Valentino as he bypassed the impossibly long line. As we crossed the dance floor, demons skittered out of his way. 

“It’s my club,” he said loudly as he led us to the back, half circle table. “Anything you need babe, its all yours.”

I slid in with Vox on one side and Velvette on the other. Instantly a demon appeared with four drinks, setting them on the table in front of us. 

“Just stick within eyesight of us and you’ll be fine.” Vox assured me.

“Cheers.” Valentino raised his glass to me. “To your visit to hell.” 

I took a sip. It was absolutely intoxicating and before I knew it, all four glasses were empty. Another round appeared instantly. Relief from my terror washed over me and I lost count after the second drink. Flashes of the dance floor, Velvette spinning me around. Shots handed to me by Vox and the four of us slamming them down. 

The room spun but the feeling of freedom and liberation wrapped around me like a star dusted blanket. As time passed, I somehow I found myself across the dance floor, far out of sight of my keepers. 

“To you, pretty lady.” A shark-like demon looked me up and down, and  handed me a pink and fuzzy drink. 

Too drunk to remember to not, I took the drink with a smile and downed it in one gulp. The shark demon laughed and took a step forward. 

“Now, how will you show your appreciation pretty thing?” he reached out and touched my shoulder. 

I flinched, and tried to take a step back but stumbled, trying to look back for any of the V’s.  Fuck, this wasn’t good. 

“There you are, princessa.” Valentino’s sharp voice floated behind me. “Looks like you can’t keep up with demons after all.” 

The shark demon paled and I couldn’t see if he left or not. I felt Valentino’s arm slide under mine as he guided me back to his table. My body, no longer in control of itself, leaned into his red jacket, my head resting its full weight on his shoulder. 

“Jesus Val, how much did you give her?” 

Could have been Vox or Velvette who asked. I couldn’t tell. I felt claws cup my chin and force my head up. Valentino’s eyes met mine and he sighed, letting my head fall against him. 

“Apparently, the princessa didn’t watch her drinks closely enough. Vox, take this please.” 

I caught sight of Valentino standing up and Vox took his place, guiding my head to his shoulder. The room felt loud, and somewhere in the distance, I could have sworn I heard a gunshot. 

“Hey hey, stay awake until Val gets back.” Vox shook my shoulder. “Ah shit. Lucifer’s going to be pissed.” 

I wasn’t quite sure how I ended up with my head on Valentino’s lap, or how I was totally fine with him stroking my hair. 

“Shits just got to work it's way out of her system,” I heard him explain. “Time is the only cure.” 

I tried to lift my head but found it too heavy for more than a few inches. Valentino’s hand pushed it back down. 

“It’s my fault.” I whispered. “I drank too much, too fast. I took a drink from an…I don’t know what, drinks aren’t spiked in heaven!”

I heard the three of them laugh. 

“Sounds like you need a lesson in club safety love.” Velvette looked up from her phone. 

“Maybe we don’t tell Uncle Lucy. Let’s keep this between us?” I mumbled and  shifted my body ever so slightly. 

Valentino rolled me back on my side, “If you say so, dear.” 

I felt the limo stop and tried my best to sit up. After a few seconds of letting me struggle, Valentino lifted me up and out of the limo. 

“I can walk.” I said protested blearily. 

“Oh, you can?” 

Valentino set me down and I immediately pitched forward. He caught me with ease and back in his arms I went. I closed my eyes .

The next thing I knew I was curled up on my side with sunlight streaming into my eyes. With a groan, I sat up. My head pounded.

“Rough first night dear?” 

I opened my eyes to see Lucifer sitting on a chair next to my bed, punching away on his phone. I looked down at myself. Gone were my club clothes from last night, replaced with a pair of soft purple pajamas. I wondered briefly how I had managed to get myself changed so neatly. 

“It wasn’t their fault.” I answered after a few seconds. “Ugh, my head.” 

He seemed unperturbed. “I’m well aware. Free choice and all that- I invented it, remember? Can’t hold them accountable- you chose to accept a drink from a stranger and well, Valentino himself held the stranger accountable.” 

“Fuck me. So…what are the consequences?” I mumbled, leaning forward and covering my head with my hands.

Lucifer paused. “Consequences? Isn’t being rendered totally unable to protect yourself your first night in hell enough? I’m not your father, dear.” He stood up. “What I can tell you is the cameras show half your bad decisions last night were due to drinking on an empty tummy. Can you explain why that is?” 

I didn’t answer. He walked over and lifted my chin so our eyes met. “If you don’t trust the four of us, you won’t make it down here. You have to eat. And drink. Same as you did up there.” 

I nodded and he sighed and sat down next to me. “I’m aware this is difficult- it’s new, and your father and I have torn you away to this place that is the  opposite of everything you’ve ever known. But despite all of heaven's propaganda, there is good down here too. You just have to be more careful.” 

“Yes, Lucifer.”

He broke out into a grin. “I think I prefer Uncle Lucy. Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?” 

I didn’t answer, embarrassment  joining the pain I felt. 

He patted my leg. “The good news is, you’re only suffering from a hangover. Unfortunately for you the cure is the same in heaven and hell. Hydration, food, anti inflammatories and rest.” 

He stood up and his phone rang. His voice changed from sweet to sharp and several harsh words later, he hung up. 

“I need to go. Chances are you’ll be back out on the club scene tonight. Let’s hope you’ve learned your lesson- stick close to the V’s. And listen to them. I made it clear that they can tell you what to do. Your responsibility is to follow through. Understood?” 

I nodded and he touched the top of my head with a knowing smile. Instantly, my headache vanished.

“Hot shower. Water. Food. It won’t stay away if you don’t give your body those things. I’ll touch base with you later, love.” 

He vanished a second later. I stared at the blank space and wondered if he was the only one down here who could do that. I pushed the thought from my head and willed myself out of bed. Lucifer may have made the headache vanish, but the body aches remained. I made my way into the bathroom.

The shower alone was the size of my room at home and it took me a good fifteen minutes to find a simple water pressure setting. I let myself sink into the steam and scrubbed clean every inch of my body. Finally, I stepped out and wrapped myself in an oversized towel. Standing in front of the mirror I studied my reflection as I towel dried my hair. Without Velvette’s make up, I looked like my usual self. 

The door creaked open and I scrambled for another towel. 

“Hello! No thank you!”

“What? Its not like we didn’t see everything last night,” Vox’s voice answered as he stepped in, closing the door behind him. ��How do you think you ended up in those pajamas?”

“It doesn’t matter,” I hissed, covering myself quickly. 

He laughed “modesty is overrated. Down here, you’ll learn that soon enough. Look, I know Lucifer told you but Val made breakfast before he had to rush off to work. It’s in your best interest to eat something before that headache he cured comes rushing back. Oh, and drink this.” He set a bottle of bright orange liquid down on the counter. “Courtesy of the brilliant minds of Vee and Val. It’ll help I promise.” 

He turned to walk out, the paused. “I’m the last one to leave, which means you have the living room to yourself. Do as you wish as long as you take care of yourself. Don’t try to leave the building, and while you can visit my workspace or Vel’s, I’d suggest steering clear of Val. After last night, he’s in a pretty pissy mood.” 

I must have looked mortified because Vox laughed. “Not at you dear. Others that didn’t do their jobs. Still, his temper is a nasty one. I’d recommend avoiding it at all costs.” 

“Noted.” I said shakily. 

“Oh, Princess? Just a reminder. Floors two and five are where you want to go for Vel and I.” 

And with that he walked out. I took a sip of the drink he left and quickly swallowed the rest. To his credit, he was right- I felt much better almost instantly. I wrapped my hair up and from the vast closet I pulled a pair of soft blue pajamas and matching slippers. I made my way out to the shared kitchen and found a heart shaped sticky note on the table next to another bottle of the orange liquid.

Breakfast is in the fridge. Drink this after. If you have a hard time with the TV, text Vox. He’ll get you set up. 

-VVV

I opened the fridge and another heart shaped pink sticky note greeted me. 

“Eat every bite. If cold, microwave ten seconds.” 

I uncovered the plate, hoping it was something normal. Something I could eat. Something that wouldn’t inadvertently turn my stomach. And to my delight, I found what looked to be two homemade strawberry waffles. I put them in the microwave and sat down at the table, taking a bite. 

It was the yummiest thing I had ever tasted. 

I finished the entire thing in record time and, taking the bottle of orange drink, I made myself comfortable on the couch. Although the headache was gone, my entire body felt achy- like I was getting over the flu. I flipped mindlessly through the channels as I finished the drink. Sleepiness washed over me and I felt myself start to drift. 

The quiet ping of the elevator arriving startled me back awake. 

“I see we’re alive.” Velvette saunted across the floor and hung over the back of the couch. “Feeling alright?”

I pulled myself up right. “Better- what time is it?”

“Time for you to go downstairs and get ready- we have another big night out. This one features the press, so we need time to make you perfect.” she answered. “Throw on a robe and meet me down in ten. Oh, and there's more of that orange drink in the fridge. Can’t hurt to have another bottle. Or at least water.”

She sauntered off and I heard the elevator ping again. In truth, I did feel better- almost like nothing had happened. The aches had almost completely vanished. Back in my room I pulled on a pink fuzzy robe and made my way down the stairs. 

Velvette greeted me with a wave and upon my entrance, a horde of demons descended on me. The process didn’t take nearly as long as it had the day before, and by the time Velvette walked up to me the finishing touches were being put onto my makeup. 

“You look great. Much better than you did this morning. Come on now, we have to meet Val and Vox out. You slept longer than we guessed- not that its a big deal. But come on, the car is waiting.”

I followed her out the door and listened to her chatter away while she typed. I checked my phone and saw I had a few missed texts. One from Lucifer, checking in. That was easy, I shot him a quick I’m fine. The second one from Vox- again, asking me how I was, followed by a text informing me he confirmed on the camera I wasn’t dead- and he would see me later. The last text was from Valentino. 

Glad to hear you liked breakfast. Hope you enjoy dinner- let’s not have a repeat of last night, shall we? -Val 

“Valentino is a little scary.” I said out loud. 

Velvette looked up at me and laughed. “He’s only scary if you’re on his bad side- and if you’re worthless to him. Trust me babe, you have no reason to be afraid of him. Not after last night.” 

“What was so different about last night?” I asked curiously. 

She barked a laugh. “Vox is the one with a soft side. Valentino? He leaves drunk bitches in the ditch- he doesn’t lay them on his lap and he certainly doesn’t kill for them.” 

“He’s just afraid, because of who Lucifer is.” I replied uneasily. 

She shrugged. “Could be. Wouldn’t test it though. He can be nasty.”

The porn demon- nasty? That was probably the most mild of terms I could think of. More questions bubbled in my mind. How did they come to own souls? What other lies had heaven fed me- lies I considered to be true? I sat in silence, trying to bring up the courage to ask Velvette myself. I had just about convinced myself to do it when the limo stopped.  

I followed Velvette outside and she marched in the door like she owned the place. Once again, we were whisked to the back of what looked like a normal restaurant. In minutes, dinner was in front of us. I looked down at the pasta dish in front of me and spun my fork in it. It looked normal- and it smelled fantastic. Cautiously, I took a bite as  I listened to Vox complain about technology and a newscaster who ticked him off. Velvette responded by suggesting the use of one of her top models. Valentino was strangely silent, watching as I carefully took another bite. 

“Look at that, already taking a step in the right direction.” He winked at me. “Not up for a repeat of last night, mi amor?” 

I felt my cheeks flush red and his grin grew wider. “Good to see you enjoying your food, princessa.” He turned to Vox casually. “Just put something inside them. That’s how I get the bitches to behave.” 

What did that mean? I wondered. After a few minutes, my plate was empty and Valentino stood up. 

“Shall we? I have another busy night.” he announced. We followed ensuite back out to the limo. I waited behind Valentino, placed carefully between him and Velvette. 

Valentino paused and took a step back. “After you, princessa.” 

“Thanks.” I stepped inside and took my usual place against the far wall. Unlike last night, Valentino sat next to me, keeping a much shorter but still respectful distance. I felt a shiver go up my spine and a strange feeling in my belly as I listened to him chat with Velvette and Vox. 

The ride to the club felt shorter than the night before. The shock of the club scene had dissipated and I followed close behind Valentino. Tonight it felt less like walking into a war zone. Not only did everyone make way for Valentino, everyone made space for me. Back in the same booth I made sure to sip my drink when it came, less I end up as much of a mess as I did the night before. 

With sober eyes I watched the scene unfold. Valentino seemed to know everyone, and those he didn’t know Vox or Vel did. Frequently two left the table, leaving one behind. Visitors came up- demon men and women. Val either invited them for a drink or dismissed them with a wave of his hand. At one point he got up and disappeared into the back of the club, reemerging several hours later with a grin on his face. 

“Shall we dance mi corazon?” He asked, extending his hand. 

I hesitated and he leaned forward. “I won’t let anything happen to you, princessa. Come.” 

I took his hand and he led me to the dance floor. Not to my suprise, he took the lead. I surrendered myself to him and the beat of the music as he spun and swung me around. I lost track of time under the flashing lights and it wasn’t until he slipped his arm under me and led me back to the table that I realized how long we had been away from the table. 

He grabbed a nearby waiter and pointed to me. “Water for this one.” he turned to me. “I’ll be back princessa- stay here. And drink water.” 

I watched him vanish across the dancefloor and sipped at the water the waiter brought me. After that was finished, I ordered a redbull and vodka- hoping it would give me the energy I needed to stay awake. As the minutes passed and my soberness disappeared, the demons on the dancefloor seemed to swim and I wondered how I had managed to stay afloat as long as I had the night before. A sudden rush of tiredness washed over me and I turned to Vox, who was lounging casually next to me 

“When is the last call?”

“When Valentino says it is.” he responded carelessly. 

Great. I swapped from vodka back to water and watched as Velvette and Vox took turns out the floor. Several times I trailed after Vox for a song or two, but he ensured I was safely back at the table before either going back out or swapping places with Velvette. After a few rounds of this, I switched back to vodka, which allowed me to relax for the first time since my arrival. 

After some time passed Valentino returned, looking as pleased as ever. 

“Last call for us darlings,” he purred, offering his hand to me. Vox did the same to Velvette and together the four of us walked out of the bar. 

Though not nearly as bad as I had been, Velvette had the busy night and she spent the ride pressed into Vox. Valentino got himself comfortable and looked at me. 

“You alright baby doll? You’re quiet.” he moved his body closer to mine and his arm fell against my shoulder as he took another drag from his cigarette, exhaling a stream of red smoke. “Tired?”

I nodded and he pulled me to his side. “Lay your head down baby- I think we passed the awkward phase last night hm?” 

My head buzzed just enough that I could forget that he was a demon and that I should be terrified of him. My head fell against his shoulder and he ran a hand through my hair. 

“That’s it sweetheart. Nothing to be afraid of.” he cooed as he exhaled another trail of red smoke. “Close your eyes.”

Against my instinct, I felt my eyelids grow heavy and the weight of my head fell onto his shoulder. He shifted my body and wrapped an arm around my waist. I tried to fight sleep as my head fell to his chest, against the steady beating of his heart. He was relaxed, so why wasn’t I?

I woke up as we pulled up to the VVV tower. Velvette, having solidly fallen asleep on Vox was carried up to the elevator first. Valentino offered his hand as I stepped out of the limo. He kept a steady arm around me as we walked towards the elevator. 

“You have nothing to fear, mi amor.” he purred. “We are not the monsters you think that we are.” 

The last thing I remembered was being tucked into my bed and a soft hand pushing the hair out of my eyes.

[purpleknighty]

Do I Wanna Know?

Pairing: Agent!Haerin x Agent!Fem!Reader

Summary: Now a rouge spy, fleeing from the old agency you once worked for, you find yourself at a familiar doorstep you never thought you’d see again.

Warnings/tags: violence, mentions of blood and injuries, small angst, enemies to lovers(?), reader and haerin are off and on, heavy emphasis on communication, misunderstandings(?), tell me if I missed anything else

Tonight has been shit, nothing has worked out in your favor, everything keeps getting worse and worse.

At first, you assumed it was very badly timed coincidences. You walk into a bar for starters, college students being the loudest customers there. 20 minutes into enjoying your drink, a suspicious group of men walk in, eyeing you up and down.

They whisper among each other, stealing glances at your seated frame, but you feel their eyes on the back of your head.

You keep calm, waiting to see who makes the first move. The men do, and as they itch closer, you realize they look like agents that you use to work with.

Fuck that.

You pay for the two drinks you had, a gin tonic and a strawberry sunset, bolting out the doors with the group falling after you.

It becomes an annoying game of cat and mouse, the racing after your car, the unnecessary shooting, the rookie mistakes they keep making, it was all just headache inducing.

That same group purposely took a different route to corner you, five guys in black suits coming out to bring you back to headquarters.

You denied their request upon getting out the car, not caring about how wanted you are within the agency, how much of a target is on your back or how much money the higher uppers are offering these stupid rookies to bring you back.

You could give two shits about it.

Your refusal results in an all-out-brawl, which was very unfair in your case, five guys all jumping one person? Now that’s just plain dirty. You win through experience but you don’t leave the battlefield unscathed, one of those bastard had slashed you with his knife, adding another wound that needs to heal.

At this point, wounded, bleeding and tired and the clock passing midnight. It was best to go home and clean up before resting.

But somehow, your body goes on autopilot. Foot pressing on the gas, hands turning the steering wheel into a familiar place, onto a familiar road and oops, now you’re standing at a familiar doorstep.

This is a bad idea. You should turn back around. It’s all the blood loss getting to your head.

Despite the voices telling you to not follow through, you do it anyways. Knocking with your free hand as the other presses a flimsy cloth over your cut to stop the bleeding.

You wait a few seconds before doing it again, ignoring how slowly you’re starting to become dizzy and lightheaded. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea after all.

Passing out in front of your enemy’s(?) doorstep isn’t a good look on you or anyone.

As you’re about to give up, grumbling curses under your breath, the door opens. A set of cat eyes stare through the cracked door, suspicious but upon seeing your silhouette, the door flys open.

There, she stands in all her sleepy glory. Hair slightly disheveled, sleep shorts with a tank top on adores her body and cat eyes that still make your heart flutter and chest tighten.

Yup, it’s definitely the blood loss now.

“What happened?” She breaks the silence, dark eyes sinking in your injured frame. White shirt now stained red from your blood and others, dark jeans covered in dirt from all the times you were thrown into the ground of that god-awful alleyway.

A dry chuckle leaves your lips, causing you to cough up. “You know,” A half-smile finds its way onto your face. “Being hunted all night, the fun stuff.”

Haerin huffs, making sure the coast is clear by looking down her hallway. Seeing no one but you and her awake at this hour, she gently pulls you in.

“Let’s..” She pauses, eyes lingering on you. “Let’s get you cleaned up so you can get out of my house.”

Wow, such a friendly welcoming.

You hiss at the pain, hands gripping the armrest at your sides. You can never get use to this, snitches. No matter how many wounds you have received as your time as an agent, you will never get use to getting snitches.

Your head falls back to lay on the headrest of the office chair, a sigh of relief can be heard, aware this painful procedure is done and over with.

“How did this happen?” Haerin speaks softly, fingertip lightly circling and messaging around the wound as to not hurt you.

You ignore the groan that threatens to spill from your throat, ignoring the feeling of desire everytime you look at Haerin.

You know you can’t have her but that’s what keeps pulling you in, what keeps making you come back.

You run a hand through your hair, utterly exhausted. “Rookie agents were sent after me. Found my ass in a bar downtown.”

You watch Haerin’s brows frown, almost like she’s lost in thought before collecting herself and standing up from her kneeling position.

“Why are you here? You are a target, coming here makes me an enemy as well, you know?” The cat-eyed girl looks back over her shoulder, only to shake her head at seeing you once again, this time bruised and wounded.

“I work for the same agency that’s after you, Y/n. A hefty amount of money is being offered to whoever can successfully bring you back, dead or alive.”

The raven haired traces her pointer finger over the barrel of your pistol that lays unsupervised on her desk, petite fingers are quick to grab the gun, now your own weapon is being pointed at you.

“I could kill you right now. You’re tired, open, and vulnerable. I could end this nuisance and bring you back to headquarters myself.”

She’s right, Haerin could kill you right now and you wouldn’t have the energy to fight back. Your knife is too on her desk but she stands right next to it which puts you at an disadvantage, and she knows you have a big slash on the side of your stomach, another disadvantage to you.

Your life on the line, the barrel to your gun in point blank range to your face, you should be scared.. but you’re not.

You can’t stop thinking about how the moonlight makes Haerin the most beautiful woman alive, even more than she already is. Cat eyes that keep you hooked, a smile or grin or smirk that makes you weak in the knees, or a laugh that makes you wish things were different.

You wished you and Haerin met under different circumstances.

Maybe then things could’ve worked out better between you two.

“Then kill me. You have the opportunity, Haerin. Take it.”

She sighs, arms dropping, a small smile graces her pretty lips.

“You’re so stupid, dingus.”

God, you love when she calls you that.

Miss it even.

A dorky smile breaks out before you can stop it, eyes filled with so much emotion for the cat-eyed woman. You just hope the dimmed moonlight doesn’t expose too much.

Then a harsh jolt of pain flashes up your spine from a simple gesture, reminding you of the real reason why you’re here, why you’re sitting in Haerin’s apartment to begin with.

It ruins the mood greatly.

You go to stand up, abruptly becoming lightheaded and close to losing your balance. Haerin’s eyes widen in worry, rushing to your side as you try to re-focus your vision.

“Sorry,” You murmur, seeing the slight mess you made. “Stood up too quickly.” Haerin frowns, eyes glancing up to your face then back down to your cut.

She bites her lip before speaking, “Stay.” She says it so softly that it scratches your brain in a way that just feels right. “You’re injured.. stay for the night.”

She shyly finishes, not sure if her hands on your arms are there to keep you or her steady, you don’t mind the warmth though.

The request feels tempting, is this how Eve felt when the snake whispered for her to eat the forbidden fruit?

Inner conflict arose, your heart tells you to do it, take her up on her offer. Once in a lifetime opportunity, but your mind says no. It’ll feel good in the moment, but will it help you in the long run?

Haerin is already breaking protocols, giving aid to someone the higher ups deem to be an enemy. If they catch wind of this.. Haerin might be outcasted, thrown out of the agency and ending up in the same situation you’re in.

A wanted agent, a criminal who’s on the run from an organization that’s wants you dead.

Yeah, this was a bad idea after all.

You forcefully have to pull yourself away Haerin’s grasp, choosing to ignore the look of disappointment that comes across her face.

“Where you going?” She breaks the silence, voice quiet, watching your back muscles flex as you reach out for your ruined shirt.

“Leaving.”

Cat eyes stare daggers into you, brows now stuck in a permanent frown.

“Why? I said you can stay for the night.” The feeling of annoyance seeps into your veins, wondering why Haerin’s starting this now.

“No reason. I’m just getting myself out of your hair.”

She stops you from grabbing your gun, the small puddle of annoyance expanding from the action. A sigh of frustration slips pass your lips, running a hand through your hair.

“Haerin.”

“Stay, Y/n. You’re injured.”

“That hasn’t stopped me before.”

“Well, I’m stopping you now.”

Your eye twitches, why won’t she let you leave? She’s let you walked out on multiple occasions, but why now? Why stop you now?

You scoff, now isn’t the time for your emotions to get in the way. You shove past her, grabbing what belongs to you from her desk and making your way through her bedroom door.

But Haerin isn’t one to give up easily (one of many traits that you love about her) and forcefully grabs onto your forearm, halting you for putting your shoes on.

“Haerin- I swear to god—“ But you stop upon looking back at her. Now there’s a clear look of sadness, dark brown eyes are slightly teary and her grip tightens on your skin.

She looks so small and fragile, so vulnerable and soft. Even through your shoving and pushing, Haerin has always been gentle and patient.

Never one to swear, even when upset or angry. Always polite and quiet.

You still can’t fathom why she chose to become an agent with her shy and timid demeanor.

“Please..”

Her voice cracks, trying to push back the sniffles and tears that threaten to fall.

“Stay.. please..”

Her pleads and begs get muffled and drowned out by your lips. Her broken voice echoing through the empty walls of her apartment, almost as if it’s haunting and taunting your very existence.

Your hand finds way to the back of her head, burying itself in her silky locks. The other placed on her waist to pull her closer, needing her scent to linger on your skin.

This kiss feels different, like there’s a hidden message behind it. A message Haerin can’t express with words but can convey with body language.

You pull back when oxygen becomes a problem, your warm breath fanning over her lips and your heat engulfing her into a comforting embrace.

“I’ve missed you..” She whispers, finally spilling. Her palms rest above your chest before scrunching the ruined fabric in her grasp.

“I’ve been worried after everything happened.. I got even more worried when Headquarter started sending agents after you..”

She pauses, observing you quietly as she continues to talk.

It’s one of those rare moments when Haerin talks and never stops.

“Was it really that bad?”

You shrug, not wanting to think about how chaotic your life has been since and focus more on the woman in your arms.

“I broke protocol, and I mean a bunch of them too when I was working. The higher ups have always been strict about their rules.”

She nuzzles into your neck, the act resembling a cat. Your heart speeds up, pumping and butterflies forming.

“You went MIA for months..” You crack a small smile at her voice.

“Had to keep a low profile. Didn’t wanna die so early into my retirement.”

You go to move, which prompts the brunette to cling on to you tighter. God, she’s gonna be the death of you.

“Relax, kitty.” You press a reassuring kiss to her temple, the brief smell of her shampoo easily evaporates any worries you might’ve had for the night.

“Just going to take my shoes off, I’m not going anywhere.”

She smiles into your neck, looking up at you through her lashes, cat eyes instantly turning you smitten. A faint blush creeps over her cheeks and up to the tips of her ears.

Attractive, ethereal, magnificent, beautiful.

Kang Haerin makes you feel alive.

You let your emotions win once again that night, choosing to bask in what it would feel like to fall in love with Haerin without death knocking at your front door.

And honestly.. now you don’t wanna know.

[theonemeathead]

Here for the requests

...reader using a fleshlight on Scout? Like, teasing him, making him beg for ir but he's a brat so it's kind of difficult to get him to do it

Scout x Reader, "Needy"

hello! sorry it took so long for me to answer this, ive just been working. here's a scout x reader smutfic, reader is gender neutral, enjoy!

"Uh, no way, babe."

"Not even for me?"

"Not a chance."

It was going to be a long night, that's for sure. You sighed, frustrated by his inflated ego. He had 'let' you tie him up, albeit reluctantly, in silky red ropes, but this is where he drew the line? Before you was that damned Bostonion, bound to a chair you stole from the dining room. He had squirmed and struggled and you practically had to wrestle him to get him in the shibari ropes, which was quite the opposite of sexy.

Scout had a big head on his shoulders, that much was known. Your boyfriend was prideful and independent, something he most definitely inherited from his dad, whoever that may be. You had wriggled him out of his clothes, which was a challenge within itself. You gave up halfway through and cut them off of him, which was met with several complaints. Now, before you, was a naked Scout, clearly embarrassed and painfully horny. His hard cock stood stiff, long and proud. The tip was a nice strawberry pink, the rest just slightly paler than the rest of him. He could try and act like he doesn't like the predicament, but you both knew he was just being bratty; the precum dripping from his aching tip always gave him away.

"Then I guess I have no choice but to leave you here, like this," you snided, turning away as a coy grin played upon your lips.

"You wouldn't dare," he huffed.

"I would."

Scout's expression dropped slightly his chest rising and falling even faster now. He knew the only way he was going to get any relief was if he submitted to you, if he begged for his release, but, God, was it humiliating. The base's thin walls surely didn't help either, you've had to cover his mouth on more than one occasion.

"C'mon, toots, just do it, we ain't got all day!" His voice came out far more desperate than he intended, almost needy. He swallowed so hard his Adam's apple bobbed up and down.

"Beg for it." You turned on your heel, taking the fleshlight from the table and squirting a good dollop of lube on the entrance of the toy. You held it, threateningly, waving it as you emphasized your point. You watched as his cheeks flushed a bit darker, his blush prominent as he bit on his bottom lip. It was an internal turmoil for him, but you knew just what buttons to press.

"What do I look like, a begger? I'm not beggin', babe, and that's that. Good luck gettin' me to break, I ain't breakin'!"

"Oh, you're sure of this, now?" You crept towards him, the light reflecting off the clear substance on the slit of the toy. You knelt down, looking up at him from in-between his toned thighs. You had to give it to him, he had nice legs. You especially were fond of the way they looked in shorts, his muscles threatening to split the fabric at the seams. In no way was he bulky, but he was sure an expert in the track and field department and it was obvious from his sculpted calves. You watched him like a hawk, as if he was prey for you to sink your talons in. You knew Scout liked when you made him feel small, even if he acted high and mighty on the battlefield.

He was about to retort again when you placed the lips of the toy around the head of his cock. He instinctively bucked, trying to get more friction than you were allowing. The toy remained still, engulfing just his leaking tip. It soon clicked for Scout what your plan was as he groaned in frustration when you took the fleshlight away entirely. His cock twitched slightly, clearly in dire need of release. You smirked evilly up at him, yet he couldn't find it in himself to meet your gaze. His baby blue eyes were screwed shut, his head slightly hanging to the side. His breathing pattern was erratic, something you only really saw when he was desperate... almost desperate enough to beg.

"Beg."

"Nono, I-I can't. I won't."

"Your loss," you feigned disappointment, taking the toy yet again and teasingly holding it above his needy cock. He, not-so-subtly, tried to thrust up into it, getting needier by the second as you watched him struggle in his rope confines. You blessed him momentarily by wrapping the silicone device around the head of his cock, and only the head of his cock. You repeated the same motion multiple times, the sound of it auctioning on and off his cock surrounding the atmosphere, before you took all stimulation away again. Scout's harmony of moans had turned into low whines as he trembled in his seat.

"Are you gonna be a good boy and give in?" You could hear the cogs turning in his head, as if weighing his decisions. The teasing was so much, it clouded his mind with a lustful fog. You knew he loved praise, it made him hard instantly when you complimented his skills during matches. He swalloaed his pride, speaking as if the words came to him naturally.

"Toots, please." His voice was meek, a stark contrast to how loud he normally was.

"Please what?" you urged him further, looking at him expectantly as you tease the tip of his cock by running it along the outside of the toy's slit.

"Fuck, I need it. I'm beggin' ya, there I said it!"

"Hmm," you hummed. You went through multiple scenarios in your head. If you kept this up, you could ruin him and make him cry from frustration... or you could let him have it, watch as he coats himself in his own cum. The latter sounded more appealing, seeing as he was right, you in fact did not have all day. So, you took his cock and pushed it into the entrance of the fake pussy, not stopping until he was to the hilt. This seemed to surprise him, as he threw his head back in ecstasy, a loud moan ringing out. You watched as he shuddered in his seat, the pressure encasing his cock.

Now, the real fun began. You started with long, deep strokes, not wanting to overwhelm him with pleasure just yet. You watched as he rocked his hips in sync as you built a steady rythm with the fleshlight, making sure he was balls deep everytime you pushed it back down.

"Oh, oh, please, faster. I need it, faster!" You looked up at him, watching as his eyebrows pinned together in pleasure, his eyes shut once again. You obeyed, picking up the pace. You took one of your hands off the toy, placing a hand on the underside of his balls and massaging gently. He panted, whines and mewls drawing from his throat as he neared his climax.

"How close?" you asked, perhaps a bit too late.

"Fuck—I'm gonna—!"

You took the toy off, finishing him off by jerking the length of his pretty cock with your hand. You watched in awe as he whimpered, moaning rather loudly. His cock shot ropes of his hot seed, his stomach tensing as he came all over himself. They landed on him sporadically, some of the shot going as far as his collarbone. He twitched, still painfully sensitive after cumming so hard. You took the liberty to suck whatever of his essence was on your hands off, licking up his torso and up across his flat chest, slurping down every last bit of him you could. He was still panting, shiny from sweat as he watched you with pitiful eyes.

"See, that wasn't so hard, was it?"

"Go to Hell," he joked, laughing softly as you placed one of your palms against his cheek, using your thumb to stroke the soft flesh beneath your fingertips. He leaned into it, cheek smushing slightly.

Oh, yeah, this was definitely happening again.

[celaenaeiln]

Hi, do you have any recommendations for Dick and Slade fics where their relationship is explored? It doesn't matter if it's a pairing or not. P.S.: I really love your posts

Thank you!!

And boy do I have them! All of these are my favorites. They're fics I specifically saved separately because I loved them. I hope you do too!

FAVORITE!! The thrill I get when I read this. The high. It's almost incomparable. Sladick in cyberspace. I don't even like cyber punk but I loved this fic - Gray Area

FAVORITE!! I talked about this one before but it's the perfect fic for apprentice Sladick. Read it so many times, I can't get enough of it. - Nightwing Protocol

FAVORITE!! This is one of my comfort fics, I love the whole collections so much. Slade and Dick get married and run off to the Maldives - I Guess Time Will Tell What the Come Down is Like

Slade comes for his Talon. That's his Dick Grayson dammit - Reclaiming an Owl

Favorite! I hope you don't mind but I'm sneaking in this Tiger/Dick fic forgive mee. Tiger's infuriatingly attracted to Dick's lips - Soft lips

FAVORITE!! Jedi Dick meets Sith Slade. And their relationship is always the same - Breathe With Confidence

Slade and Dick are soulmates much to the displeasure of Joey and the happiness of Rose - family in any form

Slade is a god of war and Dick is the demigod of shadows. They meet on the battlefield - Echoes of the Battlefield

Dick is a bartender. And Slade doesn't have identification - The Barkeeper

FAVORITE!! Dick is Aphrodite and Slade is Ares but Dick is a terrifying figure when spurned - Contradiction

FAVORITE!! Dick is Persephone and Slade is Hades and the story fits perfectly - When September Ends

FAVORITE!! Dick and Slade are both Alphas but that's not going to stop Slade in the force of his attraction for Dick - Ready or Knot

Favorite! Dick comes back with bruises, Jason thinks he lost a fight, Tim knows better, and the truth accidentally comes out - B is for Bruises

Series of prompts for Omega Dick and Sladick - Omega!Dick Week

Sladick if Dick had become Slade's apprentice from the start. He's coming back home - Home for the Holidays

FAVORITE!! Slade and Dick take care of each other - Follow Me (Don't Be Such a Fool)

Favorite! Slade takes Dick along South to a bar and Dick has some new discoveries - As Sweet As Strawberry Wine

Favorite! The whole collection! I really love the one with Deadshot but here's the first one with Slade! Remember when Dick paid of Deathstroke not to take a hit on Amy? Here's what happened after - Sell Your Soul

Slade's straight. So is Tiger. And so is most of the harem. They just like him - Attack of the Exes

FAVORITE!! The whole freaking collection?! Star Wars AU of Sladick. Taken to the dark side - Want is a Full Contract

Actually victoriousscarf's stuff is just too good - victoriousscarf

Dick basically goes fuck it. I'm tired of being good. and butts off to be slade's apprentice - Subverting Expectation

Favorite! Dick is a witch and the massive bloody wolf at his door is obviously just a wolf, right? - My Beloved Deathstroke

Slade can't just let Dick stay as Ric. He's too good for that - Madness Started the Moment We Met

FAVORITE!! Ric meets a man at the fight club. And that man is a little too interesting to let go - Like a Virus

FAVORITE!! Dick receives some interesting videos from Slade. Slade has always been good at enticing Dick - Puppet Show

FAVORITE!! Supernatural AU where Dick is Sam and Slade is Ruby. Jason's gone but Dick's gonna get his little brother back. No matter what it takes - On the Head of a Pin

FAVORITE!! Same as above! - Point of Fracture

FAVORITE!! I will sink my teeth into this collection and shake it because it's so good. YJ! Dick becomes the spy instead of Kaldur - Foundations

Favorite! Slade visits Dick in the hospital but Dick's not awake. Although Mar'i is - Give Us This Day

FAVORITE!! Midnighter/Dick/Slade. Dick's gone, right? Then who is then man with a swirling face that reminds Slade of him? - The Third Kind

Favorite! Dick is a sailor and Slade is a merman - I am a Sailor, and you are the Sea

Another Star Wars AU - Resolute in Resurrection

FAVORITE!! Slade acted so unaffected before. There's none of that now - every shadow filled up with doubt

Dick swears he's only here to rescue Damian. It's not his fault Slade was also locked up - (practice our prayers) until some hope crystallizes

FAVORITE!! Dick's mother always told him never to deal with the Fae. But some situations call for it - deal with the devil

FAVORITE!! They had a deal. But Slade's deal never was supposed to be about catching feelings - Maroon Haze

FAVORITE!! Dick has magic and Slade is cursed - i have hurt and hungered before (flesh against flesh)

FAVORITE!! I have read this fic over and over again. I love the younger Slade and Older Dick dynamic - running fever

Not a ship

FAVORITE!! When Slade took in Robin as an apprentice, he was a kid. A teenager. Get woke slade. Funny!! - Why did I think this was a good idea?

Dick is Robin and Slade's protective father instincts kick in - Made Peace

FAVORITE!! One of my all time favorites. Dick's name gets pulled out of the hogwarts cup as the Hogwarts Champion. But..he never put his in - heavy is the crown

Favorite! Bruce doesn't get to get away with Spyral. Dick leaves Bruce for Slade - deeds of men depraved

I have way more but this is a good starting point I think. Lemme know if you're interested in more!

[lily-blue]

Stupid but mine

☆ characters: hermes’ son!haechan & apollo’s daughter!you ☆ genre: percy jackson au, humour ☆ warnings: physical fight, mention of blood and injury ☆ request: FWS24. form this prompt list ☆ summary: Haechan is always ready to defend your honour, even if it means he needs to fight one of Ares’ annoying sons ☆ words: 1,6k ☆ dedicated to: @dat-town​​ ♥

You had known Haechan since you had been ten; he had been the first person who had pissed you off when your mother had sent you to Camp Half-Blood to spare the rest of your family from possible monster attacks. You might not have been as smart as Athene’s children nor could you have read emotions as easily as the kids in the Aphrodite cabin, but from your first day at the demigod training facility on Long Island, it had been painfully obvious to you that it had never been about your safety. And that had turned you into an angry and rude teenager, who hadn’t known when to shut up or retreat. You would never regret punching the boy in the face for his comment on your emo eyeliner.

You had never regretted becoming his best friend, either, though the latter had taken a lot of time, convincing and a life or death situation that had turned the entire camp into a bloody battlefield two weeks before your sixteenth birthday. Gosh, the smug look on his face when you had ugly cried next to his not-so-unconscious body in the infirmary had burnt into your brain. You were pretty sure that, up to this day, he hadn’t forgotten about it, either.

Offering one of the strawberry cupcakes on your tray to the gods, you almost fell head first into the altar when a large body crashed against yours; you hated how you didn’t even have to turn towards the culprit to know who found joy in messing with you. When you had applied for the vacant camp instructor positions at the end of your last summer at Camp Half-Blood - which had already been three years ago - you hadn’t thought much about whom you would have needed to work together with in the future, and you cursed yourself for overlooking the possibility of numerous summers in Yuta’s company at least three times a week. The demigod was a pain in the ass, a man on a mission to raise your blood pressure for no goddamn reason. For Zeus’ sake. He was so annoying. Wasn’t it time for him to grow up?

‘Hey, asshole!’ Your best friend’s angry voice came from somewhere behind you, and you closed your eyes for a second to ground yourself. You knew… you just knew that all hell was about to break loose. Because as much as you appreciated him for always having your back, Lee Haechan hadn’t grown up yet, either, despite working as an instructor in a camp full of young kids and teenagers.

‘And here comes the self-proclaimed hero,’ Yuta mused, mockery thick in his voice, which only fueled Haechan’s frustration. Sliding your gaze from one to the other, you wondered whether you should have turned a blind eye on the upcoming disaster for once or stick around in case someone got hurt. You wished you could have walked away without feeling guilty. It would have made your life that much easier. ‘What do you want, Lee?’

‘Hm, dunno. An apology for a starter doesn’t sound so bad,’ Haechan retorted immediately after he inserted himself between the two of you. You could see people starting to pay more attention to your group. Though, there were many campers who took one pitiful look at the guys and decided they weren’t interested.

Their disinterest spoke volumes. These two had already caused more commotions this year than the previous one and September was still five weeks away. You let out a resigned sigh.

‘You know the two of you aren’t actually together?’ Yuta scoffed, the smirk in the corner of his mouth mocking as he was clearly trying to push Haechan’s buttons. ‘The Aphrodite girls were messing with your wine.’

The memories from last Sunday washed over you in way too vivid waves; the kiss you had shared with Haechan was something you had tried to ignore ever since you had woken up the next morning. You pressed your lips into a firm line to swallow back a careless comeback. You were afraid it might have caused more harm than good if you had admitted that you had enjoyed the soft touch of your best friend’s lips against your own.

‘I said apologise to her for pushing her into the altar on purpose,’ Haechan stood his ground, his appearance surprisingly level-headed, although for someone like you, who had known him over a decade, it was obvious that he was fuming inside. Unfortunately, Yuta had spent as many summers in Camp Half-Blood as the two of you if not more (you had never bothered to ask), so he saw right through Hermes’ son.

‘You’re not my boss. If anything, you should be the one following my orders,’ Yuta retorted, chuckling with a wide smile to rile the other demigod up.

You took it as a sign to stand between the two, blocking the older’s line of sight as much as you could with your petite body. Why did Haechan have to grow so tall? When you had been eleven, you had been almost a head taller than him.

‘Like hell I would,’ your best friend spat, putting his hand on your shoulder before he slowly, gently pushed you behind his back. ‘Don’t make me kick your ass in front of all these kids. Because that’s what���s gonna happen if you don’t apologise,’ Haechan claimed as he walked up to Yuta and poked his chest once, twice, three times.

‘My ass? Really? I will make you eat your words before you have the chance to pull your sword out of its sheath, baby boy,’ Yuta taunted and for the nth time since you had become a camp instructor, you wondered why you hadn’t quitted the moment you had realised Yuta and Haechan had also gotten the same position. Could you have been a masochist at heart?

Or an idiot, maybe. You should have dressed in a clown costume for Justin’s infamous party this Halloween.

‘It’s so on,’ Haechan exclaimed and the two were out the Dining Pavilion before you could have taken your first bite from your strawberry cupcake or said as much as:

‘That’s a very stupid idea.’

Not because you didn’t believe in your best friend - Haechan was surprisingly good with swords -, but because how else would you have described a deliberate one-on-one duel with one of Ares’ most ruthless sons. Haechan must have lost his mind to not see how idiotic of an idea it was. You swore he was the reason you were losing so much hair these days because of the constant stress he was putting you through.

Abandoning your lunch, you did grab two pieces of cupcakes before you ran after the idiots, which meant you made it in time to hear Haechan brag about his speed and those muscles he had indeed put on in the past years. Hell, he was so confident, for a second you believed he would defy all odds and teach Yuta a lesson.

Instead, he found himself on the ground in less than forty seconds; your heart skipped a beat and you forgot to breathe when the sword fell out of his hand. He looked so miserable. 

‘Yuta, that’s enough,’ you stood between the point of his sword and Haechan’s ass, flinching at the stinging feeling of the blade scratching your cheek. The cut was small enough to not faze your audience, but deep enough to draw blood, which was seriously annoying as you knew it would leave a scar. Your skin was too sensitive not to; you still had acne scars on your chin from months ago that hadn’t gone away.

Your staring contest with Yuta ended with the boy’s arm falling back by his side and a quiet apology that sounded more like a mockery than an actual display of worry and regret. It was fine with you, though. You hadn’t needed his apology to begin with.

You didn’t wait for the crowd to disperse; in spite of how common these disputes were in the camp, there were always a couple of spectators who lingered. You would have been careless to waste even just a couple of seconds on them when Haechan’s heavy breathing got more and more uneven. You had to act fast.

So you turned around and crouched down next to his body. The soothing balm you had made of herbs that grew in the forest surrounding the camp was in your hand in a blink of an eye. Being the daughter of the Greek god of healing (and poetry, music, knowledge and a dozen of random things people would have bragged about on their CVs these days) sure had its perks. After all, your talent with medicine might have been inherited. 

‘Next th… next time he will think th… twice before he’s rh… rude to you,’ your stupid best friend forced through his teeth, his smile pained but genuine, which made you feel conflicted and bothered. Hadn’t he realised yet that he had more than probably fractured his ribs? You didn’t have to take off his uniform to know the bruises on his chest were nasty. Yuta had made sure to make confetti out of his ugly, orange tee.

‘Sure he will,’ you mocked, sarcasm dripping from your retort, so that Haechan could feel your disapproval even if he missed your eye roll.

And no, you did NOT blush like a schoolgirl just because he had said that. Just because defending your honour was clearly more important to him than his own well-being. It wasn’t romantic. No, it was idiotic. He was an idiot.

But god, he was your idiot. And you loved him more than you let him in on.

the end.

[moetrash]

rsv marriage candidates and whether they can drive

why? bc i'm bored... feel free to send me any other prompts if you have them!

alissa: no, but she occasionally drives her dad's truck around the orchard for chores.

anton: yes, but his car has been broken down for months now, and instead of getting it fixed, he's just been mooching rides off his siblings.

blair: nope! she just gets her mom or sean to drive her places instead~

bryle: absolutely - he's certified to drive cars, trucks, motorcycles, and armored vehicles.

corine: yep! feel free to call her if you ever need a ride, okay? :) (seriously, you can call her at like 3 am and she'll be there, no questions asked.)

daia: no, but luckily she's a master at guilting people into offering her rides - the world is her uber.

faye: got her license only recently after having hired drivers most of her life... she's the type to obliviously cut across three lanes of highway traffic to her exit with a bumper sticker that says "silly goose on board".

flor: yes, when she has to... but if anyone honks at her she *will* pull onto the shoulder to cry

ian: no - he can't pass the written test...

irene: yes, and she's also an avid collector of cute bumper stickers! this one is a strawberry with a smiley face!

jeric: well, he has his motorcycle license... why, you want a ride? ;)

jio: jio doesn't know what cars are.

june: um, no? what do you take him for, a str*ight???

kenneth: yes, but he's more interested in building motor vehicles than driving them...

kiarra: yup. she drives an old subaru outback with a zillion bumper stickers that say stuff like "support your local pollinators" and "no human being is illegal". oh, and her car's name is sally ride.

maddie: yes... but she road-rages like overworked ex-military trucker. do not ride with her unless you've made your peace with god.

paula: not only does she have her license, she's one of the best drivers you'll ever meet. (years of driving MEVs across gotoro battlefields will give you that.)

philip: yes - his dream car is the incredicar, as seen in the first movie adaptation of incrediman, "incrediman vs. the royal serpent" - but right now he drives a handicap-accessible minivan, yknow, for work...

sean: yeah, he has a truck he can use for work stuff - but don't look in the backseat. it's littered with empty gatorade bottles and fruit gummy bags.

shiro: no... but he used to...

ysabelle: nope. hashtag corine's passenger princess 4 lyfe ^^

zayne: a license? like the chauffeurs have? why would he need that??

[bel1ewrites]

I have a request for Jenna :)

Ok so it’s Jenna x reader and reader is just a big softy golden retriever sweetheart and would always ask Jenna if she can get a hug or a kiss or if she can hold her hand and Jenna thinks it’s just like the cutest thing ever just pure fluff basically

a/n: sorry this is so short! The idea came to me mid 'Great British Baking Show" binge. If you want more stuff like this lmk and thank you for this amazing request :)!

Puff Pastries, Anybody? (Jenna Ortega x Reader)

Description: Baking isn't your strong suit.

WC: 507

Warnings: Literally none. Read it now or I'll make you eat the pastries.

“JENNA! Jenna, come look at this!”

From her seat on the couch, Jenna sighs and rolls her eyes playfully as she stands for the umpteenth time, sauntering into the kitchen to witness whatever tragic mess is transpiring in the midst of yet another one of your new hobbies. 

The sight she’s met with is somehow even more mind boggling than the time she’d walked in to find you covered in wall paint from head to toe; at least then there was only one messy substance involved. In this case, you’ve managed to turn yourself into a powdery white monster with globs of what look to be strawberry jam strewn about your clothes in random ranges of size. The counter isn’t even visible beneath the layer of ingredients that lay in and out and all around their respective containers. 

“Baby,” she laughs in disbelief, “what the fuck happened in here?”

You’re smiling brightly, giddiness shining in your eyes. “I made puff pastries,” you walk around the island with a tray in your hands and Jenna winces as a little trail of flour and god knows what else follows close behind you. She sees it coming before it happens. You lean down and press a gentle kiss on her lips that she returns with a smile. It leaves a starchy taste on her lips. 

“Puff pastries, huh? Where did the… red stuff come from?”

You hold the tray out to her like a dog with a stick. “Try it and find out.”

And so, with a shrug, she grabs the most puffed and golden looking still-warm pastry. You put them on the counter and watch her with careful eyes, biting the flour flavored knuckle of your forefinger in anticipation. 

A bite. A careful chew. A thick swallow. A cough. 

“Uh oh,” you grimace, watching her struggle to keep your creation down and stepping closer to her to rub her back through the coughing fit that ensues. Surely they couldn’t be that bad… right? You grab the bitten offender from her hand and bring it to your mouth, taking a huge bite out of it. 

An indescribable texture. A taste akin to a mouthful of seawater. A truly religious experience. 

“Jesus fucking christ that’s atrocious,” Jenna remarks as she gasps for air. You reach for her hand while you attempt to swallow the inedible abomination in your mouth and she takes it, rubbing the skin there with her thumb in soothing circles. “I’m sorry, but that needs to be lit on fire and disposed of in like… a nuclear power plant or something.”

You laugh in agreement, tastebuds sobbing like dying soldiers on a battlefield. “Can I have a hug? That was traumatizing.”

Her arms spread out in invitation. She’s warm and delicate in your arms when you engulf her, hands wrapping around your neck loosely as your forearms rest at her lower back. “Sorry,” you mumble, lips pressed to the top of her head. 

“It’s okay,” she assures against your chest. “But you better clean this up, I’m watching the game.”

[harringrovelovefest]

❤️HARRINGROVE LOVEFEST PROMPTS❤️

February 8th

💕Love is a Battlefield

💕Say Anything

💕Roleplay

💕Chocolate Covered Strawberries

💕 No Strings Attached

💕 The Way You Love Me

February 9th

💕 Modern Love

💕 When Harry Met Sally

💕 Dirty Talk

💕 Conversation Hearts

💕 What If?

💕 Crazy in Love

February 10th

💕 Let My Love Open the Door

💕 Endless Love

💕 Sex Toys

💕 Fondue

💕 The Back-up Plan

💕 Bleeding Love

February 11th

💕 You Give Love a Bad Name

💕 The Princess Bride

💕 Frottage

💕 Chocolate Lava Cake

💕 Always Be My Maybe

💕 Make You Feel My Love

February 12th

💕 What’s Love Got to Do With It

💕 Dirty Dancing

💕 Body Worship

💕 Truffles

💕 To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before

💕 I Believe in a Thing Called Love

February 13th

💕 Chains of Love

💕 Can’t Buy Me Love

💕 Oral Sex

💕 Spaghetti and Meatballs

💕 Crazy, Stupid, Love

💕 Love on Top

February 14th

💕 Addicted to Love

💕 Pretty in Pink

💕 Praise Kink

💕 Heart shaped lollipop

💕 13 Going On 30

💕 Love Story