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uhmprobablynot · 2 years ago

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I know I’m late asf,, but part 2 of the bully fic was so good😫😫

I need part 3 rn!!💥💳💥💳💥

(But fr, your writing was so so good and I’ve read it like 5 times now lmfao)

As you wish my friends,,, Bully!Schlatt Part three (sorry this was late. I was sick than had to finish finals,,,) neway

Part One > Part Two > Part Three

The next day, you expected a text from Schlatt. He had texted you good morning on Sunday, then following the library situation he texted you, then after practice he texted you, when he went to bed he texted you. You thought he would have texted you good morning today, too. You brushed it off. He’s only had your number for 48 hours, and it’s not like you were dating or anything. Plus, you were headed to the class you shared with him. Maybe that’s why he didn’t text. He knew he would see you.

Yeah. That’s what you went with.

Schlatt wasn’t at the table when you walked in. Usually, he sits there waiting for you. Shrugging it off, you sit down at the table, pulling out all of your things and checking your phone to see if he sent anything, even though you knew it hadn’t buzzed yet. You sigh and as you look up; you see Schlatt walk past your table, going to sit somewhere in the back. You watch him settle down as you feel your heart settle down into your stomach. He doesn’t look at you, he just focuses on the smart board in the front of the room. You smoother the pain before also focusing on the board and blinking away the tears filling your eyes. The lesson goes on forever. You swear you can feel him staring at the back of your head, but you’re too afraid to let yourself hope. The moment the professor calls class, you are out of your seat and rushing home. When the front door closes behind you, you let yourself cry.

Classes for the rest of the day can wait.

You say the same thing on Tuesday, on Wednesday you justify not going so you don’t have to see him again. Every time your phone buzzes, your heart breaks a little more because it’s still not Schlatt.

There is a knock on your front door and your heart jumps with hope. You wipe your eyes and take a deep breath before opening the door. On the other side is Ash.

“Zach told me Schlatt has been weird at practice so he sent me here to see-” She looks up at you from digging in her purse. “What’s wrong?” Her simple question sets you off again. You feel your eyes fill up once again and she asks if she can come in. You nod, turning to sit back on the couch. She puts her bag down and sits next to you. “Y/n, what happened?”

“It shouldn’t matter,” you sob. “We weren’t even dating.” Ash makes a sad sound of understanding.

“It’s hurting you like this. It fucking matters.” She says firmly. She grabs tissues from her purse and hands you the pack. “Do you want to tell me about it?”

“I- I don’t,” you stutter. “I don’t know if I can. Some stuff happened.” Ash flashes you a look of pure anger and you quickly correct. “Some very consensual stuff happened.” She sighs with relief.

“I am an adult. I’ve probably read worse, done worse.” She nudges your shoulder and you laugh lightly.

You explain to her everything that happened. The drive from the game, dinner, the drive home, how he kissed you in front of your door, the library (she made an amusing squeal as you told her the story before she whispered ‘we’re supposed to be mad at him shush’ to herself). How he pretended you didn’t exist this morning.

“What a dick. What the fuck.” Ash was angry, and you envied the fact that she could be. You wanted to be angry with him, but all you felt was hurt and embarrassment. She is silent for a moment, clearly pondering something. “I’ve decided you’re coming with me on tomorrow.” You look at her, confused. She rolls her eyes and sighs. “Sport guy parties are always on Thursday and the baseball team is going to be there.” You shake your head, disagreeing with her, and she only smiles wide and nods. “You are going to look hot, and show that fucker what he missed out on.”

“Ash, I can barely think of him without sobbing, let alone going to a party and trying to pretend I’m doing better than I am.”

“You will, because you are.” She stood up. “Here is my number just in case you need. I’ll be here at 9P.” She leans down and kisses your forehead. “You are beautiful, you are kind, you are better.” She picks up her bag and walks to the door. She blows you a kiss and walks out. You smile genuinely for the first time in a few days.

Thursday night comes faster than you expected it to. You feel great and, according to Ash’s reaction when she saw you, you look great too.

She leads you to the kitchen, where she pours you a drink. The music is pounding against your skull and the already small enough house is crowded with too many people. Ash taps your shoulder and leans to your ear.

“Zach just texted me he is here. Are you good if I go find him fast?” You smile and nod, telling her it’s fine even though you’re dreading being alone here. She kisses your check and leaves to find her boyfriend. Not knowing if Schlatt is here or going to be is driving you crazy. You think you see him every time a tall brunette moves in the corner of your eye. Your fingers itch to text him, your heart agreeing, saying that it’s the perfect opportunity to try, but you ignore them both and move through the crowd. You hope that in your aimless crowd managing you find the bathroom, or just a quiet enough space to take a breath.

You spot a hallway with little people and make your way that way. As you turn the corner, your heart sinks. A white blonde girl has Schlatt pushed against a wall with her lips kissing at his neck. Schlatt is mumbling something to her with one hand on her shoulder and another at her waist. You stand there and stare without meaning to. The girl spots you first, saying something you can’t make out between the heartbeat rushing in your ears, the music pounding into your skull, and battling to not let yourself throw up. You push your way back through the crowd, this time not caring to be polite, just wanting to get out.

You eventually find the front door and push out, letting the cooler outside air soothe you. You send a text to Ash letting her know you left and not to wait for you. Holding your arms against your stomach, you walk a direction you think is towards your house. Someone is calling after you, but the noise gets lost chaos of your head.

“Y/n!” the voice yells as a car pulls up beside you, rolling slowly to keep up with your pace. “Please get in the car.” It’s Schlatt. You glance at him, watching as he shifts his focus from you to the road, then back to you. You shake your head and keep walking, looking straight in front of you. He calls your name again. “Where are you even going?”

“Home.”

“Well, your place is in the opposite direction.” You stop walking and take a deep breath. Then turn on your toe and start walking the aforementioned direction. “Jesus Christ.” You hear him yell. His car makes a U-turn on the street. “Come on,” he says harshly. “Get in the damn car.”

“No.” You yell, quickening your pace. Maybe if he acted like he cared half of this much earlier this week, none of this would have happened, maybe. You walk past the house party again with Schlatt still trailing you and calling your name. He is getting more and more frustrated the more you ignore him, but every time you look at him, you only see that blonde girl.

“Fuck!” you hear him yell as you walk into the nearby quad; you knew it was slightly dangerous to cut through here but you just needed to get away from him, and it was well lit enough. A car door slams and you hear his calling of your name continue. “Please, just listen to me for one goddamn minute?” He continues to yell.

“No,” You turn to face him. “No, I won’t you know why?” Schlatt is silent as you yell at him. “You ignored me all week. Which, yeah, would hurt either way but after-” Your voice cracked as the sadness you pushed down finally came rushing back to the surface. “After what we did, you ignored me.” Schlatt flinches and tries to say something, but you hold up a finger. “Then when I finally get myself together enough to go out into the public,” You point somewhere in the general direction of the party house. “One of the first things I see is a girl all over you, and now I feel crazy because we weren’t together, so it shouldn’t bother me.” You sob and Schlatt is just staring at you, but you keep going, glad to finally say this. “I feel crazy. I feel cheap. I feel used.” Your voice is hoarse and your throat is sore from the yelling. And Schlatt is just staring at you. The quad is silent, even the crickets and cicadas listening.

“I’m sorry.” Schlatt’s voice cracks as tears flood to his eyes. “I didn’t mean-” He rubs his face and runs his hands through his hair. “I never meant to make you feel that way, any of those ways.” He takes a step towards you and you take a step back. “And Nic- And she I didn’t want that,” he rubs his neck as if trying to wipe her away. “She has been after me months and I’ve been telling her I was interested in someone else.” His eyes lock with yours. “I am interested in someone else, and that was me trying to get her off.”

“Then why?” You plead. “Why ignore me like that?” Schlatt presses his lips together and runs his hands through his hair again.

“Because I thought that if I ignored it, it would go away. That if I acted like it didn’t matter, then it wouldn’t.” You scoff and turn to walk away again, but Schlatt quickly adds, “I thought that if I pretended I wasn’t falling in love with you, I could convince myself that was the truth.”

You stop walking and let his words sink into your brain. You looked back towards him.

“Please don’t say anything.” Schlatt closes his eyes and inhales. “Just please let me take you back home.” You nod. He reaches for your hand and you grab it. He leads you back to his car and opens the door for you when you get there. You climb in and take a deep breath. The smell of him completely envelops you. Tears come to your eyes as you let yourself realize how much you missed him. As he enters the car, he sees the tears.

“Oh sweetheart,” Schlatt grabs your cheeks and wipes the tears away with his thumbs. “I’m so sorry.” You silently nod and he drives to your place.

When you get to your apartment, he walks you to your door. It is a bittersweet reminder of that very first night. You insert the key to your door and push it open. Schlatt puts his hand on your shoulder and calls your name.

“I really am sorry.” His eyes have tears in them again. You grab his hand and pull him lightly through your door. Schlatt resists for a minute before letting you bring him inside.

“Sit,” You point to the couch. “I missed you or whatever.” He smiles lightly, rubs his eyes, and sits down. “Can I get you a drink?” Schlatt nods and clears his throat.

“Water, please?”

“Coming right up, make yourself comfy.” You make your way to the kitchen and grab a glass of water for him. You take a deep breath before moving back near the couch and handing him the glass before sitting next to him. Schlatt takes a sip and hums thankfully.

“I know it’s my fault,” he puts the glass down on the table in front of him. “But I really, really missed you this week.” His arm drapes against the back of the couch resting behind your head. You let a breath that mimics a sarcastic laugh. You pinch his side and he yelps before rubbing it with the hand not behind you.

“There now we’re even.” You say through giggles. Schlatt laughs and smiles widely; you feel your heart thump against your ribs. He meets your eyes once he calms down.

“One more time, I am sor-”

Your lips against his cuts him off. He kisses back almost instantly, the hand on the back of the couch moving to rest on the back of your head. You pull away slightly.

“No more of that. I said we were even.” Schlatt smirks at your comment before pulling you back into a kiss. You both lose yourselves in the kiss, completely enveloped in each other. You bite his lip lightly and he groans as he does you move down to his neck. Kissing and nipping it, making sure that in the morning if that girl came near, Schlatt would know who he wanted there, who got to be there. Schlatt pulled you over into his lap, but as you brought your leg to straddle him, you knocked the glass of water on to the floor.

Both Schlatt and you stare at it for a moment before bursting into laughter. You lean your head on Schlatt’s shoulder before standing up.

“I’ll clean this up.” He stands up from the couch. “Where are the towels?” You point to the linen closet as you pick the glass up and put it into the sink. Schlatt had moved back to the puddle in the meantime, laying the towel down and trying to mop up the water.

“Schlatt,” You call to him. He hums in response, still focused on cleaning up. You call his name again and he looks up at you. “The floor can wait.” You reach out your hand and he grabs it. Schlatt looks at you, confused, before you walk backwards to your bedroom. You watch as a smile comes to his face as he understands where you’re leading him.

As you both cross the door into your bedroom, he kisses you again. Except this time it’s harder and messier, his teeth biting at your lip and his hands in a bruising grasp at your hips. His thumbs dip under the hem of your shirt, grazing the skin there.

“May I?” He asks, pulling at the shirt. You whisper a ‘yes’ and he pulls the shirt over your head and throws it towards some corner of your room. His hands explore the new skin as his lips explore down to the skin of your neck. You moan lightly as his lips and hands meet near your collar bone. He thumbs at the front edge of your bra.

“This too?” he asks and you nod. He kisses your lips again as his hands move behind to your and he unlocks it and lets it drop. “Holy fucking christ,” He mumbles something before his hands move to grab them.

Schlatt walks the both of backwards until you hit the edge of the bed. You sit and he kneels down in front of you and his hands drag up to meet the waistband of your bottoms. He asks for permission again and you grant it before he pulls everything down, leaving you bare in front of him.

He uses his big hands to grab your knees and pull them apart and cursing under his breath as he looks at you. His lips replace his hands as slowly he kisses up your left thigh all the way to your hip before moving back down and repeating it on the other side. You quickly get impatient as he keeps getting close to your apex but never touching it.

“Schlatt please,” you plead and he looks up at you from between your thighs.

“Yes ma’am,” He smirks before diving nose first into you. He licks from your slit before moving his tongue to your clit. He moves slowly but speeds up as he hears you moan. As his tongue laps at you, one of his fingers enters you slowly. He thrusts it in and out a few times before adding a second one. With his finger messaging your walls and his tongue on your clit, you cum fast and hard. Schlatt works you through it, letting you come down before he removes his fingers and face leaves you.

“I have been dreaming of that since the library.” He licks his fingers before using the inside of his elbow to wipe the rest of you off his mouth. His face is red and his eyes are dark and glistening. You grab his cheeks and pull him up to you, kissing him. His lips taste slightly bitter as your slick still sticks to his mouth. As you kiss him, you reach your hands under his shirt, pushing it up. Understanding the silent command, he breaks from the kiss to pull it off, adding it to the pile of discarded clothing. You drag your hands down his chest, admiring him before your hands dip down to palm him through his pants. Schlatt groans at the euphoric relief of pressure. You undo his belt and pants button, pushing down his pants and underwear as far as you could, then letting him pull the rest of his pants off. You move your hands down to his cock, beginning to jerk him off, but he stops you.

“No, no, this is me making up for everything.” He says, “move up and lay back. Let me take care of you.” You smile gently and push yourself up on the bed. Schlatt moves on top of you, using one of his arms to hold his weight and the other to rub circles on your hip. “You’re so beautiful,” he kisses you quickly. “You know that, right? You know I think you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen?” You turned your head away from him, embarrassed, but he used the hand on your hip to turn your face back to him. “Look at me, I’m serious.” You only can nod at the sudden sternness in his voice. “I’ll repeat it well past the point that you believe it, too.” He kisses you as he moves his cock towards your entrance. “You sure?”

“Yes. Schlatt, please, fuck.”

“That is the anticipated point, yes.” He smirks before pushing into you slowly. You moan and wince at the intrusion. He stops as he fully enters you, letting you adjust.

“Move, fuck, please move.” You beg. He groans and thrusts in and out of you. You moan as his thumb rubs circles against your clit. As he brings you closer to your edge, your walls vise around him, causing his pace to falter.

“Baby,” he says through gritted teeth. “You’re gripping me so tight I can’t-”

“Then don’t.” You moan, causing Schlatt to pull out of you and cum all over your stomach. His thumb, however, quickly gets back to work on your clit, making you cum again. You both just lay there panting for a moment, catching your breaths. He stands up and pulls his underwear on before leaving the room quickly to grab and wet a towel. When he reenters the room, he wipes you down and cleans his cum off of your stomach. Once you’re cleaned up, Schlatt grabs his shirt off the floor and pulls it over your head and climbs into bed next yo you.

He lifts an arm up, inviting you to come lay on his chest, and you happily do. Schlatt kisses the top of your head as comfortable, homely, and tired silence fills your bedroom. You play with his fingers as your brain shuts down for the night.

“You know,” you say, he sleepily hums into your hair. “I think i’m falling in love with you too.”

#jschlatt #schlatt #jschlatt x reader #schlatt x reader #schlatt smut #jschlatt smut #that's all folks - i have spoken

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hischierswhore · 3 months ago

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FOR THE BETTER | chapter 3

✰ warnings: none!

✰ nat’s note: i know this lowkey sucks, but IN MY DEFENSE, i was sick. anyways the rest of this story will be continued through insta au’s so keep an eye out for those!!!!!

The morning after the gala, you woke up to a few notifications from Instagram. One in particular stood out to you, it being a message request from Dawson Mercer. Quickly accepting the request to see what he had said, you noticed almost immediately that his text was in regards to none other than Nico.

“Hey Y/n. It’s Dawson, we met last night at the gala. I was told to ask because a certain someone noticed how well we clicked, but Nico wanted to know if he could have your number?”

Of course. Of-fucking-course. Of course the man who had taken up your entire headspace within only minutes of meeting him was asking for your number.

“Hey! Yeah sure, go ahead!” Your reply was just a tad bit panicked, knowing your answer but not entirely sure how to come across as calm and collected. You hit send and set your phone back down, grabbing one of your pillows and covering your face in it.

Moments passed as you screamed into your pillow when you suddenly heard a “ding!” come from your phone. Your anxiety peaked at the exact moment the device pinged. You were scared to turn it over.

“Get a grip, Y/n” You mentally told yourself before you reached your shaking arm over to grab your phone.

“Hey Y/n. It’s Nico. Wanted to see if you wanted to maybe hang out today. We didn’t get to talk much last night and I wanted to get to know you”

Now this time you had a real reason to scream into your pillow. You let out the most blood-curling scream ever, causing both Jack & Luke to rush into your room.

“What’s going on?” Your brothers let out, trying to catch their breaths from running across the apartment.

“Oh nothing. I just got asked on a date, no big deal” You shrugged

“You WHAT?!” Jack let out, immediately losing any last ounce of sleep he had left in him.

“Congrats Y/n/n! I’m proud” Luke smiled as he gave you a hug.

“Luke, you aren’t going to ask who it is??? You’re just going to let her be free like that????” Jack was completely astounded by Luke’s lack of care to the situation at hand.

“Well no, she’s grown and I think she can make smart decisions for herself and pick a decent guy” Luke shrugged.

“Okay well, you’re not nearly as nosey as I am. Give me a name, Y/n. Pleaseeeeeeeee!” Jack pleaded with you, desperate to know the details of your newly updated love life. You battled with the decision of whether or not to tell them the truth, that it was their captain. Eventually, the internal battle ended and you just told them straight up.

“Ehm… don’t be mad but it’s Nico…” You looked down, afraid to see their reactions. It was silent for a few moments, you just knew they were gesturing to each other about your choice. After about a minute, you lifted your head and cracked your eye open, afraid to make eye contact with either of them. You unfortunately made eye contact with Jack, and he was just staring at you with his mouth agape.

“Didn’t see that one coming, but I think you guys would be cute together” Luke softly spoke, being as gentle as possible before Jack could say how he felt.

“I’m not completely opposed, but if he so much as hurts you, I will literally end him. I’m just afraid of you getting with someone again, especially after how the last one ended…” Jack trailed off, his emotions truly showing.

“Well, I’m not going to rush into anything. I barely know the guy, we spoke like - max 5 words or something last night. I’m not desperate. And the last one ended because he was a cheating asshole. I'll be fine, Jack, I promise. If anything happens, you guys will be the first to know" You reassured him, knowing how your last relationship with one of his best friends deeply affected him.

✰ taglist ✰

@lovelynikol16 @ashloveshockey @slafgoalskybaby

#✎ natalie writes #hughes!reader #hughes!sister #nico hischier fluff #jack hughes fluff #luke hughes fluff

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snowdice · 3 months ago

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Big Bang Editing Story [Day 124]

I started writing this fic while editing my Big Bang story years ago, but am going to continue doing it for other things now that Kill Dear is out. I will write and publish 100 words of the story every time I finish doing whatever task I’m doing. If you’d like to block these proceedings, please feel free to block the tag ‘proofread stories.’ I will reblog this post with the parts of the story I do today. Edited chapters are linked; everything else I’ve done so far is under the cut.

My Master Post Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Part 31 Part 32 Part 33 Part 34 Part 35 Part 36 Part 37 Part 38 Part 39 Part 40 Part 41 Part 42 Part 43 Part 44 Part 45 Part 46 Part 47 Part 48 Part 49 Part 50 Part 51 Part 52 Part 53 Part 54 Part 55

I have been sick as a dog since I last worked on this story. I'm not even doing any work today lol. I just want to get this chapter finished. Will probably do a couple rounds and then cook myself dinner, so there may be a gap at some point. Mostly I'll just be, like, reading when not posting. Wish me luck.

“Good day for a picnic,” Helen commented as she handed over the basket Thomas had requested from her a few days before. He was taking Logan, Patton, and Virgil to the cliffs today and it was perfect weather for it. Spring was truly here, which meant that those of Thomas’s duties that had laid dormant over the harsh winter were about to start up again.

The world had been on pause for a bit considering no armies or agents from any kingdom could get through the snow the last few months, but the concerns of last fall were showing their heads once again.

Thomas had just gotten word a day ago that the queen of Lamir had routed out a second assassin hiding in her ranks over the winter. The assassin had been sent shortly after it was made clear that the queen wouldn’t bow down after the assassination of her mother. Luckily, the assassin sent for Queen Cecil had not managed to complete her mission during the winter months.

While there had been no similar attempt on Prijaznia soil, Thomas couldn’t help but feel it was only a matter of time now that the snow had melted. They were already working on increasing security in the coming weeks and, though it was doubtful an assassin had managed to hide in the castle all winter without revealing themselves, they’d be closely scrutinizing all of the newer staff members.

It would be a stressful time in the coming months, which is why, despite everything Thomas needed to do, he was still going to take his son and his son’s friends on a picnic today. Logan had already started taking on royal duties as of late, but he still hadn’t taken them all on quite yet. Considering this was last summer before Logan was of age, they should at least try to take advantage of it where they could. Patton was a year younger, but the sentiment held for him as well.

Then there was Virgil. Despite their best efforts, they still didn’t know enough about Virgil, but Thomas was fairly sure he’d never had a summer to enjoy until now.

“Thanks for prepping lunch for us,” Thomas said to Helen with a smile.

“No problem,” she said waving them off. “I put in some of Virgil’s favorites.”

“Great,” Thomas said. “Do you know where the kids are?”

“Patton said they were going to go pet the cats, so I’d guess they’re in the gardens.”

Thomas thanked her again and told her to have a good day before exiting the kitchen. There was a nearby door that led straight towards the part of the gardens Patton and Logan had always favored. He figured they’d either still be around there, or they would have wandered towards the stables by now knowing that they’d be taking horses to the cliffs. So, he decided to simply walk the normal path from the door to the stable, hoping to find them.

His prediction ended up being hilariously correct. They were indeed on the path Thomas had chosen. It was clear they (or at least Logan) were attempting to make it to the stable. However, as was typical, a portion of the party had been waylaid by whimsy.

Logan was standing further down the path, arms crossed and frowning as he watched his friends. Patton and Virgil were surrounded by cats. Patton was sitting down, holding two of them in his lap and watching Virgil’s legs being swarmed by the rest of them, maybe two dozen in total.

Virgil looked confused, but not unhappy about the presence of so many cats. He was leaning down to try to pet them all.

Logan met Thomas’s eyes as he approached and waved a frustrated hand at the two of them. Logan couldn’t help but smile.

“Virgil fed one of them,” Logan complained as though he wanted Thomas to somehow go into the past and prevent this crime.

Patton and Virgil looked over at Thomas, noticing him when Logan addressed him.

“You’re going to make Princess Marisol jealous,” Thomas said. Logan frowned at Thomas as he used the ‘Princess’ label for the cat.

“Princess Marisol decided not to come,” Virgil said with a shrug. He continued to pet one of the cats.

“She’s probably sleeping on my pillow,” Logan said, sounding grumpy.

Thomas just chuckled. Princess Marisol was technically Logan’s cat, at least that’s what the kids said, and she did spend much of her time in the royal rooms. However, she was very clearly actually Virgil’s cat. Virgil just spent a lot of time in the royal wing as well.

In fact, Thomas still didn’t know where Virgil was supposed to be sleeping. He and Mr. Deknis had gone so far as to tail him a couple of times, but he always ended up sleeping in Logan’s room those nights.

Knowing Virgil, he might just sleep in the walls. Though that still did not answer the question of where his parents or guardians were. They still had not figured it out. Thomas would assume he was an orphan who’d snuck onto castle grounds for safety, but Virgil had told Mr. Deknis during their first meeting that he was supposed to be in the castle, and it had not been a lie.

Then again, it had slowly become apparent that Virgil was good at dodging the multrum’s powers. It was starting to seem more likely that he’d somehow inserted a second meaning into his answer to Mr. Deknis that night than he somehow had some ghost guardian no one was able to locate working in the castle.

“She deserves the pillow more than you,” Virgil said, bringing Thomas’s thoughts back to the situation at hand. The look of audacity on Logan’s face made Thomas chuckle.

Thomas cut in before it could become a fight. “I could get Princess Marisol a pillow, so she doesn’t sleep on yours. Or we can get you a new pillow if you’d prefer, Logan.”

“It’s not about the pillow for her,” Logan argued. “It’s about her inflated sense of superiority.”

“She deserves it,” Virgil declared. Thomas could tell he was just trying to rile Logan up, and Thomas was sure Logan knew it too, but still his son reacted exactly in the way Virgil wanted him to.

“You have enabled and encouraged this behavior from the start!” Logan seethed.

“She’s a princess.”

“She is not a princess!”

Patton shook his head while squeezing the cats in his arms, completely used to this behavior. He ran a chin idly over one of the cat’s heads while watching the argument.

“We’re never going to make it to the picnic at this rate,” Thomas said to him, “and after your mother made all of this wonderful food.”

“You’re the dad,” Patton said. “Make them stop.”

And, of course, Patton did just mean that he was Logan’s dad with that statement. However, when he glanced back up at the silly argument still going on between his son and the cat covered boy, it did almost look like a fight between siblings.

Especially with the dark hair and stubborn but mischievous look in Virgil’s eyes, Thomas could almost imagine the boy being his own child.

He shook away the thoughts and glanced at the picnic basket in his hand.

“We do have a lot of food in this basket,” Thomas said, pitching his voice up so that Logan (and more importantly) Virgil would hear them clearly.

Virgil immediately turned to look at him, abandoning all interest in antagonizing Logan to look at the basket curiously.

Thomas was never sure if he should be amused or worried about how food motivated Virgil often was.

“What’s in the basket?” Virgil asked.

“I’m not sure,” Thomas said. “Patton’s mom made it. We’ll just have to see once we get to the picnic area.”

Virgil nodded in understanding and began to gently extract himself from the droves of cats. Logan rolled his eyes, but didn’t seem inclined to continue the argument he’d been dragged into. Virgil and Patton got to their feet, and they continued on their way towards the stables.

The horses Thomas had requested be prepared for their trip were already in saddles, though the stable hand who had been handling Mr. Apples seemed a bit dirtier and more exhausted than the rest.

The stable hand seemed as happy to hand Mr. Apples over to Virgil as Virgil was to have Mr. Apples handed over to him. Thomas received Bella with a smile and Logan and Patton got their own horses as well.

The cliffs were about half an hour's ride from the main castle. There was a mostly well-maintained path to them, though it was easy to get lost if one didn’t know the way. Mr. Apples knew the way perhaps better than Thomas himself and seemed annoyed by the fact that Thomas was trying to lead the way. Virgil and Thomas ended up side-by-side whenever the path allowed it to placate him.

Thomas still marveled at how willing Mr. Apples was to let Virgil ride him, especially when he tossed his head in Thomas’s direction, a horse’s equivalent of giving Thomas a stink-eye.

“Are you excited for the picnic?” Thomas asked the boy beside him.

Virgil glanced over at him and nodded.

“I am too,” Thomas said. “It’s always beautiful this time of year. I’m glad I could find the time to take you all there this year.”

“Are you very busy?” Virgil asked curiously.

“I am king,” Thomas reminded, “and now that the world isn’t snowed in anymore things will be busy.”

“With the war?” Virgil asked.

Thomas paused for a few seconds. “Yes,” he confirmed. “With the war, but you don’t need to worry about that.”

“Why shouldn’t I?” Virgil asked.

“You’re just a kid,” Thomas said.

“I’m 14,” Virgil said.

Thomas glanced at him. “Exactly,” he said, “a kid, and luckily, you’re in a place that can afford you the luxury of being one.”

“What do you mean?”

“The war has been mainly fought on Mocnejsi soil in recent years. Our boarders have held strong against invasions. Unless something goes horribly wrong suddenly, it would take a long time for the main conflict to get here. The only real threat in the castle would be assassins sent after me personally.”

“Right,” Virgil said. There was an awkward pause in conversation before he spoke again. “You’re winning the war then?” he asked.

“Something could always happen,” Thomas said, “but for the most part, yes, we have quite the advantage right now.”

“Oh,” Virgil said.

Thomas shook his head as they were coming up to a narrowing of the path. “Anyway, today is a day to not think about war. Today we’re going to have a lovely picnic and do some bird watching.”

“Right,” Virgil agreed from behind Thomas as Bella took the lead (to Mr. Apples discontent.)

When the path widened again, Thomas did his best to direct the topic to lighter subjects and soon they made it to the cliffs.

Chapter 57 (Virgil)

Virgil had never been to a picnic. At least, that’s what Patton had informed him when Virgil had described his past experiences of eating outdoors. Logan had agreed even though he’d admitted that the definition of “picnic” was only eating a pre-packaged meal outdoors which Virgil had done plenty of times.

From what Virgil could tell, the main difference was just how much stuff one brought to a picnic.

In addition to the basket full of food (that Virgil still hadn’t gotten to look in yet), the king had brought a large soft quilt that he had Logan and Virgil spread out on the ground for them all to sit on.

Patton and Logan had also packed some things themselves to bring along. Logan had brought along a book to read, and Patton had brought along a board game (thankfully not checkers but something Virgil did not recognize). Virgil hadn’t brought anything (except for the fire knife he was definitely not supposed to have and was definitely not letting the king see) because he hadn’t known he was supposed to bring things. He wouldn’t have known what to bring anyway.

The blanket was soft and a much better alternative to sitting on the ground, especially because, while there was grass at the top of The Cliffs, there were also a good number of rocks.

The king set the picnic basket in the middle of the blanket once it was spread out and then lowered himself down to sit on one side. Patton quickly followed him, already fiddling with some of his board game pieces, though he wasn’t setting it up yet. Virgil highly doubted that Logan was going to be allowed to read his book unless Patton eventually got bored of the game.

However, they would, hopefully, be allowed to make use of the basket the king had brought along.

Virgil followed the king and Patton’s lead and got to his knees on the blanket across the picnic basket from the king. He peered at the basket curiously.

He didn’t quite know what picnic food was, but Patton had told them they’d be getting ‘picnic food’ and he was very curious about what that meant.

King Thomas smiled at him. “Let’s see what Patton’s mom packed us, huh?” He reached for the basket and flipped it open as Logan sat next to Virgil. “There is a lot more food than usual in here,” the king said, sounding amused. “Let’s see.”

He began to pull out packaged food and glanced in each package to identify it before setting it out.

“We have a few types of mini sandwiches,” he said, putting them down, “and some pasta salad.” He set down the bowl.

“We also have… er something else.” He showed it to Logan.

“They’re hot cauliflower bites,” Logan said instantly upon seeing them. Virgil perked up in excitement. That was one of his favorite foods.

“Ah,” King Thomas said, but shrugged and set it down. “We also have two desserts apparently: cookies and mini apple pies. That last one’s a bit extra for a picnic.”

“They’re very good,” Virgil said happily.

“And we also have.” King Thomas paused, looking confused. “Chicken alfredo?”

“Yes!” Virgil said.

“Why do we have chicken alfredo for a picnic?”

“It’s a Virgil picnic,” Logan groaned. “She packed us a Virgil picnic.”

“Hey, at least momma sent us something too,” Patton said.

“I think I’ll stick to sandwiches for today,” King Thomas said. He looked at Patton and Logan. “Do either of you want…?”

“No,” Logan said. Patton shook his head.

The king nodded and offered the entire covered bowl of chicken alfredo to Virgil. “Here, this one’s yours,” he said.

“Really?” Virgil asked tentatively. It wasn’t exactly strange for people here to offer him food, and he’d expected and anticipated getting to eat on this venture, but the king of the country offering him an entire bowl of his favorite food was something else.

“It’s not really my idea of a picnic food and you seem excited for it,” King Thomas said with a warm smile, still holding it out.

Virgil took it reverently. Despite the time it had taken to get to the cliffs, the bottom of the container was still warm. Virgil assumed it was one of the heating spells the kitchen sometimes used.

“Thanks,” Virgil said, setting it in his lap.

“Of course, Virgil,” the king said.

The bowl was enough for four people to have a little bit, but for one person it was a lot. Still, Virgil was offered a little of every other food in the picnic basket (and he ate a good number of the hot cauliflower bites).

“Where do you put all of that?” the king asked when Virgil finished polishing off the chicken alfredo bowl.

Everyone else seemed to have finished eating long before Virgil, though Patton still had a small plate of grapes, and he occasionally popped one in his mouth. King Thomas was currently setting up the board game they’d brought on the blanket between all of them.

Virgil shrugged in answer to his question. “It’s good,” he said, “and I don’t want to waste any of it.”

“You know we can just take the leftovers back to the castle and eat them later,” King Thomas said. “You don’t have to eat it all now.”

Virgil just shrugged again, watching as the king set out a group of 8 figures on the board.

“Here, which character do you want to be?” the king asked Virgil, gesturing at the group of figures. Virgil had not noticed the figures were different at first glance. They were all copper colored and about the size of his thumb, but they had slightly different shapes. He squinted at them each carefully, finding they all looked like people, but with different clothing. Some worse pants and some skirts, a few had hats, and one was even carrying a book.

After a few moments, he pointed at one that looked like it had vines wrapped around its arms and was wearing a floppy hat that almost covered its eyes.

“That’s the druid,” King Thomas told him with a grin. “Good choice, and luckily not one that anyone usually fights over.” He glanced at Logan who didn’t react to his father’s gaze. He just plucked the figure clutching the book off the board for himself.

Patton and the king picked pieces for themselves. Patton picked one with an apron that kind of reminded Virgil of his mom and the king picked one that was in a suit of armor before putting the other 4 figures away.

Unlike checkers, this game wasn’t just for two people, and so no one had to sit watching people play while bored out of their mind.

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They played a practice round so Virgil could figure out how the game worked, though honestly it wasn’t that complicated, so it wasn’t really necessary.

The theme of the game was all about stealing. They were supposed to steal special tokens from other players as well as characters in the game and the first person with 20 tokens won.

The other three players argued that stealing was not the point and not the main mechanism of the game, but considering Virgil was consistently winning the entire time, he would argue they were just playing it wrong. He managed to collect 20 tokens before anyone else. In second place at this time was Logan with 9 tokens.

Logan insisted on continuing to play the game to determine 2nd and 3rd place, so Virgil ended up watching them play for a bit. Virgil didn’t mind sitting and watching other people play this game, mostly because he still had the joy of victory running in his veins.

Thomas was definitely going to lose, he noted. He kept wasting his money feeding the nonplayer characters who lived on his lands. Virgil didn’t mention this faulty strategy to him in case Virgil ever played him again.

When Logan took too long thinking about his next move, Virgil took in their surroundings.

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He’d been a bit too distracted by the prospect of food and then trying to understand (and then win) the game to truly take in The Cliffs. They were settled a good distance away from the cliffside but Virgil could still see how quickly the edge dropped off. He couldn’t see the large river he was told was at its base from where he was sitting, but he did see a few of the promised wild birds (including doves) flying around. The king had promised they’d bird watch for a bit, and Virgil figured that would happen after the game was over.

A cool spring breeze brushed across Virgil’s face, and he put his hand in his hoodie pockets to warm them. Instead, his fingers hit something icy cold.

For a moment, he didn’t remember what it was. The crescent shape of it was familiar when he put his hand over it, but he had never felt it cold before.

It was the protection charm: the first charm Virgil had ever made with Logan so many months ago. It was meant to ward off small threats as well as warn you about larger threats by changing temperature…

It had always been warm.

“What?” Patton asked, having noticed Virgil suddenly tense. Virgil, despite how he drilled into his friend’s heads to stay alert had gone soft. He’d let himself be distracted by a full belly and warm blankets and fun games.

He didn’t answer Patton. He filtered the other boy’s worried face out as well as Logan’s face as he glanced at him and the king’s still focused on the game for now. He filtered out the picnic blanket and smell of food still lingering in the air and the vine covered figure set in the middle of the board on the winner’s space. He filtered out the sound of the breeze and the breath of his companions and the distant chirping of birds.

And he heard a whoosh.

Chapter 58 (Patton)

If Patton hadn’t already been looking, he probably wouldn’t have had any idea what happened.

Everything had been fine. Virgil had been sitting cross legged, idly watching the conclusion of the game they’d been playing when his posture had suddenly changed. Patton had looked over at him only to see an expression on his face he didn’t recognize, but it didn’t seem good.

“What?” Patton had asked, but the question didn’t seem to register to Virgil.

Logan had glanced up confused and also noticed Virgil’s face. He’d just opened his mouth to also ask what was going on when chaos descended.

Virgil was suddenly moving, crashing into King Thomas who hadn’t even looked up to see something was wrong at that point. Patton realized after the fact that Virgil had swiped up the board of the game they’d been playing as he jumped over it, the pieces previously stacked on it scattering all over the blanket. There were three thumps as some things hit the thick board, imbedding themselves into the surface.

When Virgil discarded the board in favor of the picnic basket, Patton saw there were small darts in it oozing a dark black liquid. The parts of the board they touched were dissolving, the grass under the new holes beginning to wilt rapidly.

Logan seemed to notice the oozing liquid the same moment Patton did and was quicker to realize what it was. He grabbed Patton’s arm and yanked him away from the board so hard he almost dislocated Patton’s shoulder, not that Patton was too worried about that. He scrambled away from it when he realized what it must be himself.

He could hear the sound of glassware smashing above them. Logan and Patton had rolled off the blanket in their quest to get away from the smoldering, melting board and apparently Virgil had pulled the picnic blanket fully over the king at some point.

Virgil himself was now gone from where he’d been the last time Patton had looked and it took him a moment to figure out where the boy had gone. The person who had been shooting poisoned darts at them had been drawn out of the wooded area they’d been hiding in by Virgil’s attacks.

They were cloaked in dark green from head to toe, explaining why they’d been difficult to spot when they were in the woods. Whoever they were, they were significantly larger than Virgil, possibly an actual adult or almost adult assassin, but they were also clearly a long distant fighter. They had not been expecting resistance let alone resistance in the form of a so quick he was almost a blur fellow assassin.

They had a bow strapped to their back, but they hadn’t had a chance to get it. Instead, they were trying to fight Virgil off with an arrow they’d managed to draw from their quiver. Virgil, meanwhile was lunging at them with a broken piece of plate in one hand and the picnic basket in the other.

Virgil dodged out of the way of the arrow striking towards his arm, though Patton didn’t think it was because he was afraid of getting scratched by an arrow, but because it may also be poisoned tipped.

Virgil was distracted by dodging for long enough that the older assassin managed to hit him in the face with the arm not holding the arrow.

He went down, but he took the older assassin with him, sweeping their legs out from under them. Patton hadn’t noticed (his mind working too slow for how fast they were moving) but they were on a slight incline. They went rolling in a tangle of arms and legs towards the edge of the cliff and skidded to a stop only a few feet away.

Virgil ended up on top, his piece of broken plate in his hands. He moved to slash it across the other assassin’s throat and managed to draw blood, but the assassin’s fist came out to shove at Virgil’s chest at just the right moment, causing the strike to veer off course and slice across the assassin’s cheek instead.

Virgil jerked to the side to avoid a second strike to the chest and went back for another slash. The other assassin rolled to the side as he did and the plate only managed to nick their ear. The point of the motion hadn’t been to dodge, however. They were lunging for the arrow they’d dropped a few feet away while they’d rolled. They grabbed it with their right hand and in the same motion stabbed back behind them towards Virgil.

Virgil rolled to avoid the hit, already slashing up with his plate as the assassin turned back towards him.

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He didn’t hit them this time but his swipe managed to stop them from stabbing him when they tried again. They shoved themselves back to avoid Virgil’s swing, putting a bit of distance between them. Both of them managed to make it to their feet during the momentary reprieve, but both also stayed crouched, eyeing each other.

They both lunged towards each other at the same time. The assassin went for a stab to Virgil’s neck with the arrow, but Virgil was already ducking down. This time, he wasn’t going for a kill shot. He grabbed the assassin’s wrist and at the same time drove his piece of plate into the assassin’s arm, slicing down from the elbow to wrist. The assassin spoke for the first time, cursing in a language Patton didn’t recognize as they were forced to drop their arrow.

Virgil took a moment to kick the arrow away from the assassin and it ended up falling off the cliff.

However, this pause gave the assassin enough time to regroup. Despite their arm bleeding profusely, they still decided to use it to backhand Virgil across the face viciously, leaving a long line of their own blood across his face.

Virgil lunged back forward, but the assassin was able to get a leg between them, kicking Virgil squarely in the chest and sending him flying back a few feet parallel to the cliff’s edge.

The assassin went to grab their bow and another arrow from the quiver still strapped to their shoulder.

Virgil, however, apparently went for another weapon too and he was much faster with a knife than any archer. A knife appeared in his hand, having been strapped to his ankle and was embedded into the assassin’s chest before they could even full remove an arrow from their quiver.

The assassin promptly burst into flames, fire catching their clothes (and from the smell of it their skin) ablaze. Panicked and dying, they stumbled two steps to the side. They stepped directly off the cliff.

There was a second of silence. They heard the sound of the body hitting the ground far below and then the flap of wings and screeching as birds below fled from the startling sound (and possible soon to be forest fire).

…

“Uh, Virgil?” King Thomas said. He had managed to get the blanket off his head at some point. When, Patton didn’t know, but seeing any of it was probably enough.

Oopsie.

Chapter 59 (Logan)

Logan and Patton had been useless during the fight, but that may have been for the best. Considering the skill differential when it came to fighting (and that differential had never been as clear as it was in this moment), that was probably for the best. They likely would have just gotten in the way.

The moment Logan’s father spoke, however, they both jumped into action.

They both knew their jobs in a situation like this. Patton pushed himself up to his feet ungracefully and all but sprinted over towards Virgil. Logan, on the other hand stood to face his father, putting himself very purposefully between the man who had no idea what was going on yet and the boy who was two seconds away from remembering what was going on.

“I can explain,” Logan said.

His father was still sitting on the ground. “You can explain,” he said slowly, “how Virgil just threw an assassin off a cliff.”

Logan thought pointing out that Virgil hadn’t thrown anyone off a cliff and instead had set them on fire with a magical knife causing them to walk off a cliff, would not be useful in this moment. He glanced back briefly towards where Virgil and Patton were standing and then turned back to his father. “Yes.”

“And what would that explanation be?”

Before even starting to speak, Logan found himself making large dramatic ‘explaining hand gestures’ that he’d thought he’d long since trained himself out of. When he was younger and in trouble, he always used to give himself away as guilty by being overly expressive with his hands (and arms).

“So,” Logan said. He was still not able to stop the hand motions. “Virgil was an assassin. He came here to kill you last fall, but he accidently went to the wrong room in the royal wing. Patton and I were having a slumber party and caught him in the act. Then we reformed him and now he doesn’t kill people anymore.” He paused and glanced back, remembering the body that had just toppled off the cliff. “Er, uh, he doesn’t kill people who haven’t shot poisoned darts at people recently anymore?”

“What?”

“Look,” Logan said. “You’re going to have to tell him you’re not going to execute him soon. Patton can only keep him from bolting for so long.”

#proofreading stories #not writing

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sadstrever · 3 months ago

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i’m still 114lbs. i feel sick. yesterday was an awful day, i came home and had an out of body chew and spit session. i wish there was more research on this part of ed’s, or just more people who talked about it because i can’t be alone in this. i refuse to believe i’m the only sick person who does disgusting shit like this. anyways the reason why i call it an out of body experience is because it’s almost like binging-just without all the swallowing of food. i came home and immediately started doing it and filled up 1 and 1/2 2 liter bottles with food. i spent 5 hours doing this without even realizing and pretty much emptied out my whole families fridge. the guilt i felt afterwards was worse than a binge in my opinion. not only did i totally waste SO MUCH food, make a huge mess, ended up with disgusting bottles of mush in my room, i also have to face the consequences of my family coming home to an empty fridge. but when they got home they were happy that i “ate.” god i’m such a fucking piece of shit.

anyways after all that i took 4 laxatives to try and get the guilt of wasting the food out of me. i woke up in the morning today in terrible pain but still had to go to class, cuz what am i supposed to tell my parents? “yeah i haven’t eaten in almost a month and basically just threw all the food we have out in the trash and i also took 4 laxatives, can i please stay home tehe?” so i went to 1 class and ended up leaving because the pain was so excruciating. straight from class i went to the gym and somehow burnt 900 calories because i guess that’s what guilt does to me. i had to take the bus 2 hours home afterwards(bus delays and i went to a new further gym location this time), high out of my mind. i’m home now and my stomach hurts but the laxatives finally did their job. i don’t want to keep doing this. 4 years ago i said i’d recover and then i didn’t. since then i’ve forgotten about recovery (with the exception of a few random moments here and there that i block out immediately), i am so used to living in this fucking misery that i didn’t realize how abnormal my reality is. i don’t want to be a bad person anymore. but i can’t stop lol.

this is what bothers me about the girls who romanticize this disorder SO MUCH, when much of the time they haven’t realized how difficult it can become. i know i’ve done this, even now sometimes as a coping mechanism. but man, i’m sick of it.

i have a friend who writes poetry and she wrote a poem about eating disorders that make me so fucking angry. the thing is, i’ve known her for years and she’s always had the best relationship with food out of most of the people i know. she’s naturally pretty thin(not too thin but normal) and she’s very open about her struggles. i know every single one of her stories, i know she’s diagnosed with adhd. that’s HER disorder, that i don’t understand so i DONT write fucking POETRY about it. a few months ago she kind of forced me into opening up about my eating disorder. after i did, suddenly she started writing these stories about her eating disorder-very very very suspiciously similar to mine. i obviously didn’t tell her everything but i told her about how long this has been going on and just my emotions about it. seeing her start to adapt my fucking disorder into her poetry disgusted me. she glamorized the fuck out of it and made me feel so stupid for ever opening up about it. she’s naturally skinny so she got a bunch of support from our friend group from it and i’m just upset man. i’m sick of living in misery while other people can use the idea of living in pain for attention.

i promised my best friend that in 3 weeks i’ll go back to therapy and try my best to recover. it’s not true. man it’s never fucking true. it’s never fucking over. unlike ms.deep-poetry-girl i can’t just fucking write this and log off and then eat a good warm meal and talk to my parents without them mentioning my body. i can’t wake up tomorrow morning and hug them without worrying that they’re gonna feel my bones. i can’t wear shorts anymore without people noticing the bruises. i can’t go to school and keep my focus because i have nothing to feed my brain. i can’t let anyone get close because soon enough they’ll be just like YOU. OR they’ll hate me for not wanting to get better. i can’t love myself like you do because of the disgusting things i do each day. i can’t wake up thinner and suddenly stop hating myself. FUCK YOUUUUUUUU GOD IM SO SICK OF IT GOD. whatever im done. just sick and tired.

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waitmyturtles · 1 year ago

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Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: Until We Meet Again Edition

[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings -- and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL's history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. In a LONG POST, I’m writing today about New Siwaj’s incomparable drama, Until We Meet Again.]

TW: suicide, suicidal ideation, psychological trauma

Gah. I am so psyched to be finally sitting down to write my thoughts on Until We Meet Again, but I’m actually at a bit of a loss on where to start. There is SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT.

I think, where I can start, is to first say that this was, in my opinion, AN ABSOLUTELY SPECTACULAR SHOW. I did NOT expect this, at all. I’ve been around the way with New Siwaj, the UWMA screenwriter and director, a few times now for the OGMMTVC -- his writing on Love Sick, his work with Cheewin on Make It Right, and his work on MAME’s novel in Love By Chance have all been on the OGMMTVC list. I know that Between Us, the UMWA WinTeam continuation, was considered mostly a let-down for weak writing, and that New’s more recent shows, including A Boss and a Babe and Double Savage, were viewed quite critically (although I am a Double Savage apologist, for which I’ll explain my viewpoints later in this post).

So. What I did not expect from 2019′s UWMA was to experience so many layers in a drama à la the work of Aof Noppharnach. Yes, I cannot believe I’m going here, to compare a New Siwaj drama to Aof’s oeuvre, but damn if I will, because good lord, New took his magic hat of tricks, pulled out THE GOOD STUFF, and made it all work.

This is a list of themes that I saw in UWMA, that will help me structure this long write-up, but by no means should it be considered complete, as I’m sure I’m missing themes that you all likely caught in your watches and re-watches:

1) A new narrative structure for New -- balancing the impact of side couples by leveraging focus, equally, on two MAIN couples 2) The continuation and end of the 2019 trend of reincarnation and spiritual connections to love 3) Intergenerational queer trauma (micro-level) 4) Generational acceptance of queerness (macro-level) 5) Food and its Proustian effect on memory 6) Reflections on filial piety and the devastating effects of expectations -- and how children and parents seek redemption, particularly in New’s work

And before I even dive into THIS list, can I just say: MY GOD, FLUKE AND OHM. And Earth and Kao! But FLUKE AND OHM. Jesus, does New have an eye for talent -- from the Make It Right guys, to Perth and Saint, and then to Fluke and Ohm. I was seriously TAKEN with their chemistry. I did hear from a number of folks during my UWMA live-blogging that they can’t rewatch UWMA because of Fluke/Pharm’s rendition of the blushing maiden trope, but for my tastes -- I think the way he rendered the trope was really necessary to communicating Intouch’s story, history, and emotions, and just -- Fluke just ATE this role, my gawd. And Ohm/Dean responding in kind vis à vis Korn’s regret. YOW. It’s been a few days since I finished the show, in a total RUSH of drama hunger, and I’m still shaking my head and MARVELING at their performance.

Okay, back to the themes list. So, early in my Thai BL journey in the fall of 2022, after I had watched KinnPorsche and The Eclipse as my first two Thai BLs, I watched A Tale of Thousand Stars (way before the OGMMTVC was born), and noted that I appreciated the lack of side couples in the ATOTS storyline. I now realize, through the OGMMTVC, that side couples are both a BL trope and a byproduct of the drama styles from which BLs were born, the ensemble-based dramas like Love Sick, Senior Secret Love, and Kiss/Kiss Me Again.

New’s Make It Right -- while beloved in my heart, for the chaotic duos of TeeFuse and FrameBook -- WAS messy, with all the other couple stuff happening around it. That, along with Love By Chance, made me wonder -- why do BLs that center fabulous dyads with sizzling chemistry take away from that energy with all the side couple action? Even Together With Me, a non-New Siwaj and non-GMMTV drama, got sidelined in part with a VERY questionable side couple plot in BrightFarm.

Reflecting back on KP and The Eclipse, I had that question in mind as I started UWMA, and wondered where the Alex and WinTeam storylines were going to go. But, frankly, I ended up appreciating what NEEDED to happen with DeanPharm and KornIntouch, because -- the original novel storyline clearly demanded that these two couples, who were NOT side couples, but MAIN couples, needed a MAIN spotlight for their collective story to be told. @clairificusrex mentioned in a liveblog comment (THANK YOU, LOVELY HUMAN!) that New Siwaj benefitted in the screenplay from having a wonderful original novel to work with, and while I don’t read Y Series canon, I can only imagine that this was indeed the case.

So, New, in order to hew to the novel, had to perhaps hold back his usual instincts to muss up the main couple vibe, by centering DeanPharm and KornIntouch. With that control necessary to the story -- I think the narrative STRUCTURE of the drama just blew open. It was FASCINATING, it drew me in, and the structure allowed for another New predilection to be leveraged WELL, in his love for flashbacks. @lurkingshan, you mentioned that your taste wasn’t necessarily aligned with New’s fancy for flashbacks, which I totally understand -- I think flashbacks hurt the overall narrative structure of Double Savage earlier this year. But I think, here for UMWA, they were necessary, and I might very well be apologetic to that considering what I DID see in Double Savage by way of the story that New ended up screenwriting over there in regards to intergenerational family trauma (again, more on this later in the post).

This narrative structure lent itself handily to the next four themes on this list, all of which deal in memory, in spiritual roots, and/or in the generational passage and inheritance of trauma and emotion. 2019, as we know now, was a big year for shows themed around Thai spiritual culture and/or reincarnation. We have He’s Coming To Me, we have Dew the Movie -- we have art here, queer-centered art, that does not lend itself to happy endings, that depicts, through reincarnation or, in the case of HCTM, a ghostly purgatory, how DIFFICULT it had been to be comfortably queer and/or openly out in past and present Thailand.

And then UWMA comes along, telling TWO generational stories, intertwined by the red thread, but also, in the words of the WONDERFUL @bengiyo, connected by Korn and Intouch’s intergenerational queer trauma, the most PERFECT coinage of a theme for this show. In 1988, when Korn and Intouch die, they cannot be out. They cannot even be SECRETLY in love. Their bad dads use the foulest of language to describe their love (much like Phop’s dad in Dew). And Korn kills himself, and Intouch follows.

And what we learn, through Dean and Pharm, are the emotions, the regrets, the LEARNED BEHAVIOR that Korn and Intouch have picked up on in the afterlife, embedded in Dean and Pharm, that keeps Korn and Intouch’s love alive, with CORRECTIONS and ADJUSTMENTS made by Dean and Pharm that reflect on how not only Korn and Intouch’s love has changed and improved, but also how Dean and Pharm are learning how to love EACH OTHER, themselves, as they adjust to their OWN belonging to each other, in Pharm’s own words. GAH -- my aching heart. (Thank you to @lurkingshan for talking this through with me early on in my UWMA watch.)

I mean. THE DEPTH OF THIS. Intouch is a terrible cook, and Pharm is like, a restaurant-level chef?! Pharm is so resistant, and Dean is so FORWARD? (OHM THITIWAT, GAH!!!) (Listen. Pharm. P’Deeeean can grab MY butt, okay?) (See what I did there, @lurkingshan and @bengiyo? THANK YOOOOUU.)

And Pharm’s blushing maiden approach. Yes, I will also admit, that sometimes, it was a little cringey. But I think the blushing maiden trope was really necessary to the story -- ESPECIALLY IN THE CONTEXT of Intouch’s anger, ciphered through Pharm in the last episode. And I think that Fluke Natouch ultimately rendered the trope beautifully -- again, especially against the gorgeous ending of the show. Oh, THAT CONDO SCENE, PEOPLE. I LOST IT.

Of course, Intouch would want to hold back through Pharm in the present day. If Intouch DIDN’T hold back vis à vis Pharm -- he might lose Korn again, if Pharm missteps with Dean. Intouch may have felt that HIS forwardness lent to their troubles -- so Intouch holds back, through Pharm. And Intouch ultimately communicates his love for Korn differently in the afterlife, more hesitantly -- through a resistance to intimacy, and through food and cooking in Pharm, which itself was another amazing move in this show.

Listen. Even my pinned post says what I value in dramas, not just in BLs. You give me food in BL, and I give you my heart. But also, let’s talk about the meaning of food in Asian dramas for a second. It’s no coincidence that MANY Asian dramas and doramas center food, including my favorite BL of all time, Kinou Nani Tabeta/What Did You Eat Yesterday?. If you don’t know Asians, of any ilk -- let me make a BROAD continental and sub-continental judgement. ALL WE THINK ABOUT IS FOOD, lol. While I’m with my family, while I’m working, while I’m writing meta -- I’m thinking about food, I’m thinking about what I want to cook, what I want to order, how I can mix the cuisines I love (Thai-Indian curries, anyone? YUM). Malaysians literally boast about having multiple meals, way past three meals, a day. We Asians are proud of our cuisines, and we want y’all to be EATING, A LOT, and to try all our dishes. (ITSAY, your Hokkien mee is calling me...)

But, also: FOOD MEANS FAMILY. Let me say it again: FOOD MEANS FAMILY. You FEED the people you LOVE, with delicious food. Shiro and Kenji. Kurosawa and Adachi. The guys in Jack o’Frost. The guys in The Eighth Sense. Omg, even Kinn and Porsche. We’re seeing it in Tokyo In April Is... And Pharm, to Dean, Intouch to Korn.

And BESIDES Intouch/Pharm becoming a great cook, GOD, the story ALSO INCLUDED the Proustian reference of the madeleine and involuntary memory -- but in SUCH a stunning way, as to RECALL DEAN’S FAMILIAL MEMORY of eating his grandmother’s Thai desserts -- his grandmother, Intouch’s sister, and how Dean could get an indirect spotlight into Intouch and a depth of an understanding of Intouch’s happiness besides his love for Korn. And how Pharm EMBODIED that love for Thai desserts through Intouch’s family lineage. Oh, just get me MESSY, PEOPLE. FUCKING GENIUS SHIT.

Memory on memory on memory. Dream on dream, nightmare on nightmare, tears and red threads, inherited trauma, intergenerational trauma. The micro-level of what Dean and Pharm had to live with on a daily basis in their recollections of Korn and Intouch. The macro-level of what Pharm and Dean experienced when all of their parents accepted them for who they were as queer individuals, and their partners, as well. How Dean’s dad could ACTUALLY RELATE to Dean himself, because Dean’s dad had been rejected by Dean’s mother’s family. And how that ALLOWED Dean’s dad to accept Dean and his choice to be with Pharm. How that trauma was relieved, how Dean and Pharm DID NOT HAVE TO PHYSICALLY RELIVE what Korn and Intouch had gone through, and how those involuntary memories that Dean and Pharm carried vis à vis Korn and Intouch traumatized them until Dean and Pharm could RECEIVE their OWN familial acceptance.

The LAYERS OF THIS SHOW. Before I get to the last theme on my list, I really just need to metaphorically slam my palms on an allegorical table and give New Siwaj a huge hug, because THIS SHIT IS NOT EASY TO PROCESS ALL AT ONCE, and I can’t wait to do a UWMA rewatch to try to catch more (and I’ll likely need to write another meta, ha, when I do that). I mean, again, just to use food as an example of a kind of storytelling TOOL to INDICATE memory, especially in the context of lost and found love, of intergenerational trauma and relieving regret -- BRILLIANT. BRILLIANT.

And. The last theme on the list, the theme of filial piety, of Asian family systems and devotion and loyalty and expectations, and the devastating effects on the micro-individual level (and even the macro-social level as well) that those expectations can have.

So, I watched Double Savage, screenwritten by New Siwaj, out of order from UWMA. Very quickly, since many of you have likely NOT watched Double Savage because it’s not a BL (but it DID have Ohm Pawat and Perth Tanapon in a hose-off scene -- you can’t take the New Siwaj out of New Siwaj, amirite): Double Savage is about Korn (Ohm P.), a middle son who is branded a jinx by a HORRENDOUS Thai-Chinese father, and how the abuse leveled on Korn by his dad has intergenerational ripple effects across their family and community.

Let’s break this down. I now know that New Siwaj does bad dads from Thai-Chinese lineage very well. UWMA’s Korn is expected to take over a mafia business. His dad is disapproving that Korn doesn’t want to take over the business -- which is an UNQUESTIONABLE and EMBEDDED expectation in most Asian family lineages (hello, Jeng and Step By Step) -- AND Korn’s dad is ALSO disapproving in Korn’s love for Intouch and vice versa. Separately, Intouch’s dad is disapproving that Intouch is in love with Korn, a mafia scion.

Modern times are modern for a reason. 1988 was 31 years from 2019. I want to emphasize here the understanding that Korn and Intouch likely had -- that besides running away, there was no other existence for them to be together than to kill themselves and be together in the afterlife. And running away, and still living and existing, would have been a guilt-ridden and dangerous existence, for what Asian children are expected to do and live for vis à vis their parents. Korn likely HAD NO OTHER IMAGINATION for a life that he could live OTHER THAN to take over his father’s business and to be a heteronormative adult in the late 1980s. And, to top that all off, both of their dads were fucking assholes.

I really liked how this was juxtaposed to the relationship between Dean and his father. Dean was clearly set up to be as stubborn as his dad. Meaning, at least to me -- that Dean was FAR less likely to be told what to do by his dad, that Dean would and maybe COULD, stand up to his dad. We didn’t see it happen, but I could have imagined Dean not accepting “no” for an answer from his dad to accept Pharm. (Makes you think about Pat, Pran, and Ming, no?) Dean had Korn in him. Dean/Korn was NOT GOING TO TAKE THAT SHIT AGAIN, and that was CLEAR. I want to emphasize: THAT’S BIG. That was BIG on New Siwaj and the UWMA novel writer to include that in the story. That’s parental defiance. That needed to happen in order for Dean and Pharm to survive. As an Asian, that gives me a kick of welcome energy.

But I also really want to note what New Siwaj did at the end of the show, something so deft, it might have left non-Asian viewers wondering what was going on. In the condo scene, Dean and Pharm are ciphering Korn and Intouch -- and when Korn’s father shows up in the wheelchair, Korn’s father knows what’s happening.

And Korn apologizes to his dad. Korn had already apologized to Intouch, but Korn also apologizes to his dad, and to his brother, and to his nephew in Sin. This really gets me, y’all, I understand this as an Asian. Korn is APOLOGIZING for the PAIN he caused in his family AND in Intouch, because -- filial piety. He knows what he did to himself was devastating to the Asian family system he was born into, to the Asian society he was born into, and he apologized for the suicide he committed unto himself that caused that extra-social pain.

Like. As crazy as that sounds, it’s also an INCREDIBLY SOPHISTICATED way to ACKNOWLEDGE that Korn had broached a social boundary, and Intouch had followed him. THAT IS A HELL OF A LAYER TO ADD TO THIS STORY, ONE THAT I DID NOT EXPECT, and that SHOOK ME at the end of this series.

A similar situation happened in Double Savage. Despite the horrendous psychological abuse that Double Savage’s Korn received from his father -- an adult Korn ends up apologizing to his father for the trouble that HE may have caused. Now, what I appreciated about Double Savage was that THAT dad was like -- no, no, *I* should be the one apologizing. BUT, I want to indicate and emphasize here, that BOTH storylines acknowledge that Asian children NEED to know, SHOULD know, ARE BORN TO KNOW, that their actions have collective effects on a wider family system. We are born to understand and think like that. We are not dealing with an individualist Western perspective here. (I literally FLIPPED when I realized that New Siwaj has had MULTIPLE CHARACTERS NAMED KORN APOLOGIZING TO BAD DADS, and I’m an Asian over here UNDERSTANDING WHY, and I’m just like, pfffftt GGGAAAHHHH.)

Why am I harping on this? BECAUSE: vis à vis EVERYTHING ELSE that is lineage-based in this story -- from children being born, to intergenerational trauma, to reincarnation -- UWMA is structured around an über-macro theme of worlds being linked, by threads, by genes, by history, by spirit, by trauma. We are collectively linked. Babies are born -- we saw many babies in this show. Children belong to families. Lovers belong to lovers. Dean PHYSICALLY belongs to Intouch’s family, and Pharm to Korn’s family. A happy existence will be when a family accepts a child’s partner. Happiness is in a family growing, not a family shrinking. Warmth and growth and love happens when a happy family sits at a table and eats together.

As Pharm says at the end of the show -- oh, my HEART -- “I belong to Dean.” Yes, you do -- because you have become Dean’s family, and Dean has become Pharm’s family. Korn’s family BELONGS to Intouch’s family, and vice versa. They are destined, MEANT to be linked together, AND TO BE FAMILY, ALL TOGETHER.

Kurosawa and Adachi become family in the Cherry Magic movie. WDYEY’s Shiro and Kenji become family by way of living and eating together. Even if BBS’s Ming doesn’t acknowledge Pran -- Pran is Ming’s family. LOVE. MAKES. FAMILY.

What Korn apologized for was the impact his decision had on his family — WHILE HE WAS IN LOVE WITH INTOUCH, WHO KORN’S FAMILY WAS NOT ALLOWING KORN TO MAKE AS KORN’S NEW FAMILY in the 1980s. Korn was able to apologize in the afterlife — BECAUSE Dean and Pharm DID WHAT HE AND INTOUCH COULD NOT DO, by way of generations, by way of family acceptance, by way of inherited trauma and STOPPING that inherited trauma in its tracks -- very much like Pat and Pran banding together and doing the same for themselves. Dean and Pharm did the hard work of making the relationship a real one, in every aspect of their intimate, micro-level family lives, to a public, external existence in the world. Korn could FINALLY experience the release of GUILT he had towards Intouch and towards Korn’s family, now that Korn’s love for Intouch could FINALLY flourish outside the constraints of filial piety through Dean. THIS IS HUGE. I have no words to tell you what the BRILLIANCE of this means to me as an Asian. LOVE MAKES FAMILY, and LOVE THAT IS ALLOWED TO FLOURISH GIVES YOU THE RELEASE TO BE YOUR TRUE SELF.

Dean had learned from the inherited trauma that he got from Korn that he needed to stop the trauma train in his tracks, and he did, and he confronted his father, and his father blessed the union of Dean and Pharm. When Dean took the gun away from Pharm, and embraced Pharm, Korn and Intouch KNEW that they could finally be safe in the afterlife. Dean and Pharm were the ciphers that finally ALLOWED Korn and Intouch to exist happily together in spirit. Korn, especially, could exist freely, now that he was relieved of his guilt. Dean and Pharm were, LITERALLY, Korn and Intouch’s FAMILY -- the FAMILY that ALLOWED the FINAL RELEASE for Korn and Intouch to be together as their true selves and spirits.

And Dean and Pharm confirmed that in FRONT of the family member, in Korn’s father, that had originally caused all this pain. The intricate layers, communicated to a primarily Asian audience, of Korn apologizing to his father, and then of Dean embracing Pharm and confirming their love AND Korn and Intouch’s love, in front of that former barrier -- that is GROWTH and FLOURISHING in the face of generational defiance, and about as sophisticated and eloquent a communication of familial transcendence as I could possibly imagine seeing in Asian drama art. WHOA. I’m a little out of breath with this.

Wow. And speaking of being one’s true self: I deeply loved that Dean and Pharm took a three-month break. I loved that Pharm was smart and strong enough to demand a break to understand if DEAN and PHARM -- INDEPENDENT of ANYTHING they had INHERITED from ANYONE -- actually loved each other and belonged together. Fuck. Pharm was like, no -- this one’s on me. I need to see, outside of ANY INFLUENCES, FROM ANYONE, ANYWHERE -- if I love Dean, if Dean loves me, and if we belong together. Brave. Badass.

AND, I truly loved how Korn and Intouch -- DEAN AND PHARM’S FAMILY -- came BACK to Dean and Pharm’s dreams to offer thanks. I loved how, in the end, the past and his family came back to give Pharm that little contextual nudge to say to Pharm, it’s okay to love Dean for Dean, AND to love how you two came together, through Korn and Intouch. And Pharm could acknowledge, finally, that he belonged to Dean. God damn.

This story was so multilayered, SO complex, SO filled with a respect for love at its highest and most complicated levels. This story was filled with CRITICAL SCRUTINY towards Asian family systems and the trauma that those systems can render. This story was filled with an acknowledgement for the power of LOVE that those same family systems can offer unto children who NEED pillars of love and support (Pharm’s mom and brother, badasses!).

Y’ALL. I just, I DID NOT KNOW that New Siwaj could DO THIS! I know that UWMA is considered his best show, but like, this is his best show BY A LOT, A LOT. Double Savage, in contrast, had a lot of narrative and structural issues that detracted from the core stories of filial piety that were ultimately very important to tell.

UWMA did not fall into that trap. It was SMART, it MOVED (FOR SEVENTEEN EPISODES! I SLAMMED THIS SERIES! I could have watched MORE, I cannot believe I’m SAYING THAT!), it was. It was just BRILLIANT. It was an ode to romantic love, to family love, to the power of memory. In 2019, it joined He’s Coming To Me in a burgeoning echelon of cinema-influenced BLs in storytelling, soon to be joined by I Told Sunset About You, ATOTS, and others. It took the sad endings of He’s Coming To Me and Dew the Movie and said -- not today. Today, we will let love LIVE, let QUEER LOVE live, in REAL LIFE, in REAL TIME, and we will not let our lovers live in regret. We will take queer love, we will give queer love FAMILY, and we will give it the HONOR IT DESERVES.

Until We Meet Again is a must-watch of the highest order, and goes on the shortlist of shows that I will refer to as one that makes me proud to be an Asian. It was easily one of the most important shows I’ve watched in this project. All credit to New, Fluke, Ohm, Earth, and Kao for a PHENOMENAL experience -- my heart and mind have been bettered because of this show.

[FLUKE. AND. OHM. Fluke and Singto coming thru in Shadow the Series? Sign me the FUCK up. Actors on actors. WOW. Did UWMA ever introduce me to another crop of dudes who can fucking tear up a screen. I had SO much fun watching UWMA, whew!

And, yep. I had to follow this up with 2gether, ha. I’m going to spare myself a little pain, if y’all don’t mind, and combine my write-up of 2gether with Still 2gether. I know there’s a lot to be said about the lack of intimacy in 2G, which I can’t wait to dive into, but I can’t help but to also run into another wall of analysis with dear P’Aof’s work in S2G. I’ll make it all work!

After I get myself together with 2gether (HA) -- it’s ITSAY time. I will be planning on watching ITSAY TWICE before writing, as I’m preparing myself to catch EVERYTHING I can before I pen words. Stay tuned.

Status of the list below. As always -- if you have feedback, send it my way!

1) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) (review here) 2) Make It Right (2016) (review here) 3) SOTUS (2016-2017) (review here) 4) Make It Right 2 (2017) (review here) 5) Together With Me (2017) (review here) 6) SOTUS S/Our Skyy x SOTUS (2017-2018) (review here) 7) Love By Chance (2018) (review here) 8) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) (no review) 9) He’s Coming To Me (2019) (review here) 10) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again (2018) (review here) 11) TharnType (2019-2020) (review here) 12) Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey (BL cuts) (2016 and 2017) (I’m watching this out of order just to get familiar with OffGun before Theory of Love -- will likely not review) 13) Theory of Love (2019) (review here) 14) 3 Will Be Free (2019) (not a BL or an official part of the OGMMTVC watchlist, but an important harbinger of things to come in 2019 and beyond re: Jojo Tichakorn pushing queer content in non-BLs) (review here) 15) Dew the Movie (2019) (review here) 16) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020) 17) 2gether (2020) and Still 2gether (2020) (watching) 18) I Told Sunset About You (2020) 19) YYY (2020, out of chronological order) 20) Manner of Death (2020-2021) (not a true BL, but a MaxTul queer/gay romance set within a genre-based show that likely influenced Not Me and KinnPorsche) 21) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) (review here) 22) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake Of Rewatching Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS 23) Lovely Writer (2021) 24) Last Twilight in Phuket (2021) (the mini-special before IPYTM) 25) I Promised You the Moon (2021) 26) Not Me (2021-2022) 27) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) (thesis here) 28) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) and Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (2023) OGMMTVC Rewatch 29) Secret Crush On You (2022) [watching for Cheewin’s trajectory of studying queer joy from Make It Right (high school), to SCOY (college), to Bed Friend (working adults)] 30) KinnPorsche (2022) (tag here) 31) KinnPorsche (2022) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake of Re-Analyzing the KP Cultural Zeitgeist 32) The Eclipse (2022) (tag here) 33) GAP (2022-2023) (Thailand’s first GL) 34) My School President (2022-2023) and Our Skyy 2 x My School President (2023) 35) Moonlight Chicken (2023) (tag here) 36) Bed Friend (2023) (tag here) (Cheewin’s latest show, depicting a queer joy journey among working adults)]

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x-0ophelia0-x · 1 year ago

Note

Could you write something about rebels era Ezra taking care of a sick reader on the ghost?? Maybe he chooses to stay behind to watch after her, bring her water and snacks, and wrap her in warm blankets when she gets the chills? I’m currently sick in bed with the flu and this would def cheer me up! I also hope your exams go well!

thank you so much! I have a feeling that they went well :D

Also, I hope that you‘re feeling better now 🫶🏻

Your perfect caretaker.

pairing: Fem!Reader x Ezra Bridger

warnings: none! word count: 1,5k

summary: You learnt your lesson the hard way. Now you were sick. A special someone decides to take care of you, bringing you the joy you needed since your day started off with a strong headache.

authors note: Another Ezra x Reader story! I hope you like it!! Feels so good to be back again 😭 I hope that my grammar here makes sense bc this was written after midnight 💀

enjoyyy <3

How did it come to this point?

Okay well… you knew how since it was somehow… basically… your own fault but still. Why?!

It all started with a mission on a icy planet, and you knew that it was going to be cold there. However, ignoring your crews warnings, you decided to not take the old coat Hera was offering to you. You didn’t find yours and you sure as hell wouldn’t wear that old thing… no. It smelled nasty because the last time someone wore it was when the same thing had happened to Zeb.

And this smell of his just wouldn’t let itself be eradicated from this coat.

You did what you thought was the best for your nose and since you wouldn’t stay outside for too long you just went out without it.

Which was a mistake, a huge one.

Now you‘re lying on your bed, your head throbbing, feeling kind of lightheaded and your throat felt like as if it‘d burst any second.

You were sick.

The others didn’t know it yet. The mission was yesterday and the symptoms appeared when you woke up. Or they woke you up. You were burning up, that fever sure had it‘s effect on you.

There was one problem though. You had a mission today and you couldn’t let this pass. Ignoring your body’s signals to stay in your bed, you stood up, instantly regretting it as everything started to turn black from the sudden movement.

Your nearby desk was your source of balance as you reached out for it to not fall down. You underestimated your condition by a lot, there’s no way that you’d be able to fulfill the mission while you couldn’t even keep your balance while you stood.

A sudden knock on your cabin door threw you off of your thoughts, accompanied by Heras voice.

„y/n? Are you alright? Did you oversleep?“

Oversleep?

Wait… which time is it anyway??

You looked at your clock and realized that you indeed overslept.. well…. no wonder.

„Sorry! I ove-“

The answer was cut short when your dry throat started it’s Protest. It didn’t only hurt but it was also itchy as hell, the coughing that took over your response was louder than Zeb‘s snoring.

„y/n? I‘ll come in!“

With a familiar sound the door flung open, revealing Heras worried face.

„Oh.. you‘re so pale“

Her mother instincts kicked in and she couldn’t just stand by and watch.

She quickly grabbed a bottle of water to give it to you so that you could somehow ease the itchiness of your throat.

„Seems like you‘re sick.. should‘ve worn that coat from yesterday huh?“

There was a quiet chuckle following after this.

„Seems like it.. thanks for the water“

Hera made her way closer to you, holding you by your shoulders as she moved you back to your bed.

Her touch was gentle as she laid you down, placing her hand on your temple.

„What are you doing?“

Talking did hurt but it didn’t matter.. did she forget about the mission?

„What I am doing? The question is what the hell you were doing? You‘re burning up, you need to rest“

Just when you wanted to, for once again, push your body to it‘s limits, you heard another knock on your door. Followed by a voice.

„Hey uhm.. I was passing by and.. may have heard one or two things..“

It was Ezra and he sounded worried.

„Your timing couldn’t be better.. y/n is sick and I need you to help me to find someone to look after her while we‘re on the mission“

„Hera please you do-“

„I can do it“

Ezra responded almost immediately.

„Ezra.. you’re supposed to fly with us“

„y/n too.. I won’t let her alone, especially not like this“

This kind of warmed up your heart, he‘s been through a lot already.. seeing him wanting to stay behind just to make sure that you‘re alright hit a spot.

And Hera had a proud mother moment, how could she say no to his offer?

„Alright then.. call us if something happens“

„Ai Captain“

Hera left your cabin, leaving you and Ezra alone.

He walked closer to you, also placing his hand on your temple to check your temperature.

„Karabast.. you‘re hotter then ever“

This made you chuckle, Ezra knew how to light your mood up and he definitely knew how to let you forget about your headache, even if it‘s just for a small moment.

„I‘ll take this as an compliment sir“

„Sir? How bad is the fever?“

„ Ha Ha“

Moments like this.. they were everything.

However, your fever was still there and it‘s effects got worser after each passing moment.

„Ezra.. could you bring me the medication please.. my head.. my throat…it‘s killing me“

The blue haired spaceboy nodded before he left your cabin to return a few minutes later.

He didn’t only bring the medicine you asked him for. There was much more.

A thick and surely warm blanket, some wet towel, water and snacks were among the medicine.

„Ezra….“

„No no no, less talking, more resting“

He placed the medicine on your desk as he took out a spoon to let the drops fall on it. After he had dropped enough, he took the wet towel with bis other hand and walked to your side.

„Please make aaaa“

His expression while saying it was priceless, you did as he said and opened your mouth for him to move the spoon inside, helping you to take the medicine in.

Ezra moved the spoon out when he saw you swallow the not so tasty liquid, placing the spoon somewhere next to your bed while he took the towel out.

„You should feel better anytime soon… however.. this should help you for the meantime“

He carefully placed the towel on your temple, it’s coolness immediately showing some kind of effects against the heat and the headache.

„Did you eat something?“

„No.. I overslept“

„Hmm okay.. seems like the patient‘s hungry“

„Patient?“

He nodded.

„Since when are you a doctor?“

„Since today, you know.. doctor Bridger has to help his friend“

„I‘m feeling honored“

„As you should“

It is hard to describe but when you woke up.. you felt like shit. Like literally.

The only thing you could focus on was your discomfort, nothing else.

Ezra barely came in and your mood already became way better compared to how it was earlier.

Speaking of him, he took out some snacks and held them up.

„Which one would you like for now?“

Your morning continued exactly like this. Ezra made sure that you laid comfortable in your bed while he sat down to keep an eye on you.

The medication helped but it didn’t help you against the cold.

Of corse you had to also get the chills..

Your trembling body caught Ezra‘s attention. He stood up and grabbed the thick blanket, he made his way back to you and put it carefully over your body.

„Here.. let me help you“

You were tired to say the least, rest was something that you needed the most right now.. Ezra just saved you with this blanket.

„thank you..“

Your voice was quiet and somehow hoarse but he heard you.

„I‘ll do it as many times as you need me to do it.. you don’t need to thank me for this you know“

„I know… but…“

„But?“

Ezra held your hand, reassuring you that he was listening.

„I don’t want to infect you… you should know this as an doctor mister Bridger?“

He chuckled a bit too hard on this one.

„Don‘t worry y/n, your favorite doctor is fully aware of this“

This boy just somehow always managed to get you to smile.

„Now that‘s the y/n I know!“

„Yeah but I‘m… kinda tired“

„Perfect, your body needs this“

A yawn escaped you, you closed your eyes and let the sleep take over, still feeling his hand holding yours.

„Sweet dreams.. I‘m still here for you until you wake up“

You only understood the beginning, thanking him when you drove off to your long awaited, and most importantly, stressless slumber.

The others returned from the mission and Hera and Kanan immediately made their way towards your cabin to check on you.

They were greeted with a heartwarming sight when they opened your door.

You were asleep, cuddled up in Ezra’s blanket. Ezra at the other hand had moved the chair closer to your bed, he was sitting there, also fast asleep, his and your hand still holding on to the other.

„They‘re adorable“

Heras voice was so high that it even took Kanan by surprise.

„We should check later on them again.. let them sleep for now“

„You’re right but before that..,“

She told him to stay there when she ran off, returning with another blanket.

„You want to join them?“

„No silly, it‘s for our little caretaker“

Careful not to wake you two up, she walked towards you, putting the blanket over Ezra’s sleeping form. Hera came back to Kanan, satisfied with her action.

„Now we can leave“

#ezra bridger x reader #ezra bridger #star wars #star wars rebels #ezra bridger x y/n #ezra bridger fanfic

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louisupdates · 2 years ago

Text

MY FOOTBALL

The One Direction star has two principal loves: Ronaldinho and James Coppinger

FOUR FOUR TWO, MARCH 2023 (by PAUL WILKES)

Which was the first match that you ever went to?

I actually got into football quite late, when I started playing at around 11. There were a few Manchester United fans in the family, so the first match I ever went to was an unbelievable first game: the FA Cup fifth round tie against Arsenal in February 2003 - the match when Sir Alex Ferguson kicked the boot and hit David Beckham! My best memories come from Doncaster, who are the only club I support now. We had a fantastic League Cup run in 2005 - we beat Manchester City on penalties, then beat Aston Villa 3-0 and lost to Arsenal on penalties in the quarter-finals. That was my first real low as a football fan. I can remember walking back home absolutely gutted.

Who was your childhood hero and did you ever meet them?

James Coppinger is my club hero - he played at every level and really played for the badge. Everyone in Donny loves him and he’s a great bloke too. After I got into One Direction, I was lucky to meet him and played alongside him a couple of times in charity games. As a fan growing up watching him, that was amazing l. The best person I’ve ever met in football was Pele. I met him about four or five years ago and it was incredible - he had all these stories and we spoke for ages. He was lovely.

What has been your finest moment playing football?

I played in Soccer Aid and Ronaldinho tried to nutmeg me. I was all over his shirt, giving him no respect, and I just managed to nick the ball off him! There's a sick picture that I've seen of it.

The other moment was when I was about 15. I started as a centre-back, but didn’t grow any taller so moved across to right-back, and scored the only Sunday League goal I ever scored. I’ll never forget it.

What do you like most about going to the match?

The whole atmosphere, that magic. When you have those experiences as a young lad, there’s an element of nostalgia each time you go into a football stadium.

Which players do you admire even though they’ve never played for your club?

As some of my family supported Manchester United, I was never allowed to like Thierry Henry, but those grudge matches against Arsenal were amazing. He was a serious player.

Where’s the best place you’ve ever watched a game?

The Bernabeu - it was Neymar’s first ever Clasico for Barcelona against Real Madrid, which is pretty special. It’s one of the bucket list fixtures to go to. When I was young, Doncaster signed me as a reserve player and I went to a pre-season training camp in Portugal. As a supporter of the club, that’s not something you’re normally privy to, so watching how the squad trained and prepared was fascinating.

A few years ago, you filmed a music video with Bebe Rexha on the pitch at Keepmoat Stadium. What was that like?

It was really important for me and my career. The reason I’m sat here today is because of Doncaster - it’s played a huge role. It’s who I am as a person and it’s what I write songs about. The fact that we were able to film the video at the Keepmoat, where I’ve spent many days and evenings, made it so special. It felt appropriate.

What’s your favourite football book?

It’s not a book, but FourFourTwo! I used to subscribe when I was younger. I’m not a big reader otherwise. I should be, but I’m not.

What’s been your worst experience at a game?

I was playing in a charity match at Celtic Park. I got the ball and turned to my right, then Gobby Agbonkhor come through the back of me and I tore my medial ligament. A combination of the impact and me being very unfit meant I ended up throwing up all over Celtic's stodium, which I know will please a lot of Rangers supporters.

Have any footballers been to a gig?

Paul Pogba came to a One Direction show once, that's the one that stands out - he was really sound. I won’t lie, I don’t think many footballers listen to One Direction songs.

What’s the strangest place you’ve ever met a footballer?

I was in this bar in South America and, purely by chance, Bryan Robson was there with a few friends. He was a bit drunk. We went straight over and he was nice, but it was one of those times where you think, “What is he doing here?!” [Laughs]

What’s the greatest goal you’ve ever seen live?

I was at Zlatan Ibrahimovic's debut for the LA Galaxy, because I spend some time over in Los Angeles. The LAFC keeper launched the ball upfield and it was cleared back to Zlatan about forty yards out. He watched it bounce and then smashed it over the keeper’s head - an unbelievable goal. I love him - I like a bit of s**thousery in my footballers, and he's always had that.

Who’s your current favourite player?

The obvious answer is Erling Haaland, because any fan seeing him rack up the goals this season has been totally in awe. Even if you support Manchester United, you watch him and think he's superb. But for me, Jude Bellingham. I’m so excited by Jude - he's been in brilliant form this season, even before the World Cup.

If you could drop yourself into your all-time five-a-side team, who would you be playing next to?

Well, I play at the back, so I want me and Rio Ferdinand. I'd pick Edwin van der Sar, he was a top keeper in his day, then in midfield I'd have Ronaldinho - I grew up loving his football. Up front, I'll go for Cristiano Ronaldo.

What’s the most important piece of memorabilia that you have?

I had a Doncaster home shirt as a kid that I associate with growing up. A few years ago, I bought the same shirt in my current size - it's special to me, and when I met Pele I asked him to sign it. That was the pinnacle.

[Thanks to TeamLouisMedia for the HD photo.]

links to fourfourtwouk’s posts about Louis on Twitter and Instagram

#four four two #louis tomlinson #louis press #fourfourtwo #transcript #transcription #2 february 2023

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nattaphum · 2 years ago

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Man Suang timeline

April 26

April 28

April 29

Pond: Man Suang. Few more queues to go. It’s a very hot and dusty period. After Songkran, my body has been broken all the time. I have lost weight and got slimmer more than before. Today my body just feels like it is about to recover 100%. I am very sick, but I have to carry my body to direct all the queues. But the working atmosphere with good and talented people really helps to heal the mind and increase energy. There are only good-hearted people in this group. All parts are important. Even the caretaker of the mobile air conditioner works hard to reduce the temperature under 40°C for the team because the weather always breaks the air conditioner. The team who provides water and prepares ice cream snacks is fighting too. We've almost done it, everyone.

—

Two new articles came out:

You can fully read them here and here but i’m posting the new additions below:

⬇️

The word "Suang" comes from the ancient Chinese language which is still used in some Asian regions as a surname.

Man Suang or Maen Suang is the king of the Suang Kingdom who is in conflict with Phimphisakhon, the king of the Son Kingdom.

The two are the main characters in the Thai classic poem called “Lilit Phra Po” (which can be translated in “The Story of a Royal Hero”) with 3,870 lines, set in the Ayutthaya period.

It is estimated that this poem was written in the late 15th century or early 16th century and the author is still unknown nowadays.

The main content of this poem is about a romance story which, you guessed it, ends tragically due to political intrigue. (*cries in despair 😭*)

To be sure, the storyline will not completely follow Lilit Phra Po's poem because Man Suang is the first original script made by the BOC production house.

👀👀👀👀

May 2

The illustrator of Man Suang shared this video of the quiet atmosphere surrounding the filming location:

May 3

#the article was reposted by pond so it’s reliable #👀#kinnporsche #mileapo #man suang #mileapo movie

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battlemaiden13 · 5 months ago

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akameloooooo: My God, I can’t believe the gem I just found, simply perfect!

(I don’t know if the creator is he or she, but I’ll address her as she.)

I caught a cold this week and stayed home resting with a sick note. With nothing to do, I decided to revisit my old hobby of reading Mafiafell fanfics and found this wonderful writing.

I confess that when I started reading, I didn’t pay much attention. I thought it would be bad or boring because it’s a multiverse and very long. But, my God, as I read, I became obsessed and couldn’t stop until I finished.

I usually don’t like long stories, but this one won my heart. I fell in love, simply perfect. I can’t express how euphoric I am about this reading.

I think I started last Saturday and finished last night.

It’s simply perfect. Congratulations to whoever wrote it. The writing is good, the story is immersive, and all the characters have distinct personalities. Not to mention the coordination in writing about so many characters at the same time, giving them hobbies, dreams, and desires in a fluid manner. Congratulations.

When I saw it was from 2017, I was sad because I thought the author had abandoned it. But I jumped out of my chair when I saw she released a new chapter today. I couldn’t believe she’s still writing. Congratulations. I haven’t read chapter 179 yet; I’m writing this before going to read it. I’ve never written anything on the internet; this is the first time I’m commenting somewhere random. I don’t even know if I’m writing in the right place. I didn’t even have an account for this; I just created this one to congratulate the perfect author. She knows how to write very well and makes the story engaging. I hope she achieves everything she wishes for. Congratulations once again. Perfect.

It’s a pity I return to my activities tomorrow, but I’m happy with the idea that I can continue my routine while waiting for more of this beauty. I had never participated in a vote before; I already took the opportunity and voted for mine, lol.

My eternal love since I was little is Sans, but she made me fall in love with many from the House Mutt, Coffe, Orange. I hope there are more hot moments. I’m embarrassed, lol.

13: Hi Akame! I’m battlemaiden and yes I’m the author of House Next Door.

I hope my interpretation of Mafiafell was up to your standards since that’s how you found my story.

I’m so glad you enjoyed my writing after giving it a shot. I understand completely it is very very long. I’ve very much accepted then any new readers I’ll get will be ones who have skipped over HND heaps of times because of it’s lenght and then one day they just say fuck it XD Which I’m fine with, it’s just such a shame I don’t think those first like 20 chapters are great hooks XD. HND is defiantly a story that gets better the more you read.

Thank you for your kind words. My character writing is something I’m very proud of and I’m glad I can write them well enough for others to enjoy (I think it’s far from perfect though)

Yep, House next door started in 2017 and is very much still updating. I almost do once a week at this point. there was a time I was updating everyday, I miss those days. I want to write a real book one day, not just fanfics and I’ve got an idea for one I just don’t have time to start a draft.

It’s wild that you made an account just to talk to me. thank you, your welcome to chat any time. give suggestions or ideas or just talk :3

Ah almost all of the Chaos Quartet have your heart XD. I am very much a papyrus varient girly (with a few acceptions) so I will gladly convert you XD

Thank you so much for taking the time to write me so many sweet things and helping my head grow even bigger /jk. I really appreciate it and I hope you have a wonderful day!!

#house next door #hnd #housenextdoor #nice comments #nice words #thank you

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wrestlinghistorywithkay · 2 months ago

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Kay’s Advice For Going To Wrestling Shows

Hello Everyone! First things first , I wanted to thank you all for taking time and reading my blog and sharing the content on it! I appreciate all of you! I decided to switch things up a little today with this article. I’ll be sharing a few things I learned from going to different wrestling shows whether it’s a WWE, AEW , TNA, etc or an Indie show. My Brother- In - Law is a wrestler. I hope this article can help!

1. Cleanliness- If you are at any wrestling show , please make sure you pick up after yourselves. This helps event venue staff in the long run if it’s a show for a huge promotion such as WWE , AEW , etc. If it’s at an Indie Wrestling show , please do the same as you would at a huge show. This is one of my biggest pet peeves when I go to a show . I was an All Star Cheerleader and I saw people not picking up after themselves a lot . Also , please wear deodorant when you come to a wrestling show! No one wants to smell body odor when they are trying to enjoy wrestling !

2. If you are standing outside an arena waiting to hopefully meet or see your favorite wrestlers , make friends! You might even meet some of your social media friends! I did ( shout out to @slutfortheeclaymore and her awesome family !) . Also , if you meet your favorites , be nice and talk to them! I’ve met a few , Johnny Gargano, Candice LeRae , Raquel Rodriguez ( she signed my sister’s , @sjones41488 ‘s notebook for her birthday), The Miz , Shelton Benjamin . I had two amazing interactions . Johnny Gargano singled me out and told me he loved my vintage Shawn Michaels shirt I wore when I met him , and Drew McIntyre made eye contact with me and waved at me. Same rules apply for going to meet and greets. I met AJ Styles and he is phenomenal!

3. Let’s Talk About Legends Appearing At Indie Shows - If a wrestling legend appears at an Indie show you are attending, please respect them! If it wasn’t for them , you wouldn’t be watching the wrestlers you are now! Go up to their table and talk to them! Ask them questions , buy their merch , take photos with them etc. I’ve met a few legends myself and I can say , I’ve learned a few things . You might even get to see them wrestle too. I’ve watched George South wrestle a lot and let me tell you , he is one of the nicest guys you’ll ever meet. He asked me to work his merch table at a show I was at and it was an honor to do so. I couldn’t turn it down. When I met the legendary Manager/Valet , ‘ The Perfect 10 ’ Baby Doll, I got to help her by taking photos of her and other fans. That was an honor for me as well. I’m grateful for both of those opportunities. Also, if you a wrestler, manager, etc, when a legend steps into your locker room , please show respect by helping them out . You could help them set up their merch table , carry their gear bag, shake their hand, etc. To me , this is a sign of respect. I’ll be attending WRESTLECADE this year and I’ll be meeting Kevin Nash and seeing other legends. And this goes for anyone , if a legend tells you a story about their time in the business, please listen.

4. PLEASE RESPECT WRESTLERS! I am so sick and tired of seeing articles and videos about wrestlers being ambushed at airports when they got off their flights to go to their next show. And do not wait outside of their hotels! That’s their private time! Incidents like this make me wish there was more security around wrestlers like there is for a celebrity like Taylor Swift. They are human like us! And if you are at an Indie show , please do not try and start fights with the wrestlers . The show doesn’t run smoothly of that happens and that is the last thing promoters don’t need other than talent getting injured. I’ve seen it happen. Also, DO NOT BE A CREEP TOWARDS WOMEN WRESTLERS! After seeing and hearing about creepy men harassing wrestlers such as Skye Blue , Alexa Bliss, and the guy trying to take photos of the feet of the NXT Women’s roster , I feel like this needs to be said. If you do this , you’re gross! I’ve noticed on AEW that Saraya calls creeps out when they do this! And don’t bully wrestlers , like I said , they are normal humans too and have feelings.

5. Don’t bully other fans at shows because of who their favorite is. I’ve seen videos of Roman Reigns and Cody Rhodes fans fighting at Wrestlemania over their match . It isn’t cool . Those fans are there to cheer on their favorite wrestlers just like you. Also, don’t be a creep to female fans either!

6. Wear Comfortable Shoes- Please wear comfortable shoes if you go to a huge show because you’ll be doing a lot of walking that day. I like to wear Sneakers or Athletic shoes, I find them comfortable when I go to shows. Or if you cosplay as your favorite wrestler, find a shoe that is comfortable to you . I don’t recommend wearing heels or sandals. You don’t want your feet to hurt or get stepped on.

7. Make sure you have some extra money on you! What I mean by this is bring some cash other than having your cards on you just in case if a card machine is down. This will help you in the long run in order to buy concessions and your favorite wrestler’s merch. But , getting something to eat is way more important than buying merch!

8. THIS ONE GOES FOR ALL WRESTLING SHOWS! - If a 10 bell salute is going on , please join in on the moment of silence. It shows respect to someone in the business who has passed away. I can’t stand it when someone talks during one because I think it’s disrespectful. And it’s okay to show emotion during it too.

9. At an Indie Show - If you are asked to stay out of the locker room, please do so. It’s rude and disrespectful if you are a fan trying to barge in on the talent getting dressed. The only ones in there should be the talent and promoter. Wait outside to meet the talent. And be respectful to their significant other ( if they have one) and their families . Also , if a show is doing a meet and greet for talent , go to that!

10. The Golden Rule - HAVE FUN! As a fan , professional wrestling shows are one of the most fun things to ever go to! If you haven’t been to one , that’s okay too! I hope you get the chance to go to one soon! The environment of a show is great!

My Final Thoughts:

These are just my tips for going to any wrestling show. I hope the advice I gave in this article is helpful to everyone ! Are you attending a show this year or going to WRESTLECADE? And what are some of your tips for going to wrestling shows ? Let me know and I might do a part 2!

Love You All,

- Kay

#wwe #aew #tna wrestling #njpw wrestling #ring of honor #gcw #pro wrestling #indie wrestling #major league wrestling #drew mcintyre #drew galloway #womenswrestling #wrestling fans

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carmenized-onions · 6 months ago

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Oh we were fed good today. I obsessively check on this story and was so surprised this morning.

Ya had me crying in my bed like a baby on a Wednesday morning.

Jeez, this chapter was intense. In a fantastic way! Your brain is so big and I am in awe of your talent!

I’m definitely going to reread this whole story and come back with my theories so keep an eye out.

For now let’s hit some quick headlines.

1. Carmey deserves to get a good slap to the back of the neck. Self destruction mode was at a record breaking high.

2. You write guilt and sorrow so well, it genuinely made my stomach hurt. Not to get too personal but I had a friend take their life and the survivors guilt is intense. This chapter brought up some real emotions.

3. Richie x Tony remind me of how you’d defend a sibling in a fight. The way they would both go to war for each other, wow wow wowie wow.

4. Earlier I couldn’t see the Tony x Syd ship but boy can I see it now. Happy pride!!

5. Leaving the number to the chef up to Carmey was devious. I love it.

Love it, love you, hope you have a great day!

It took me. Forever to get to this one thank you FOR WAITINNN

First of all-- If you haven't read Something to Do yet-- PLEASE do babe I WANNA KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS SO BAD I LOVE YOUR BRAIN!!! I LOVE THE WAY YOUR BRAIN INTERACTS WITH MY BRAIN!!! THIS IS US!!!

Anyways. Into the headlines of Just Dropped we go.

Category FIVE LEVEL DESTRUCTION!!! I think I really compacted like a whole kind of like-- Season honestly of Bad Behaviour Carmen into one day and it really did make for the most unstable motherfucker of ALL time

!! I am simultaneously sorry and thankful to hear it resonated-- I think this chapter is very special to me for the way it shows like the three different forms of survivor's guilt and grief-- Like the way Richie/Carmy/Tony held it down VERY differently. And then two outta three of them being able to reconcile over it... It's just very special to me, and I'm both sad and glad we got that sick feeling out of it-- I know you know what I mean. Again. See above photo.

EXACTLY!!! EXACTLY!!! I think those two are very like,,, This is so fucking stupid but they're like everything to each other? Richie and Tony I mean? Like that's my fucking best friend and my dad and also my brother and my road dog and my divorced husband and also my regular husband. They're just kinda? All the stuff. All the stuff, I think. I wish I wrote Carmen getting grand slammed. There's still time ig.

LETS GO WE GOT A SQUID INK CONVERSION BOYS SOUND THE ALARM!!!! They were awful cute, in this chapter. They're cute in every chapter but like-- Ah. Syd grabs Tony's face so much. Twice but like. That's like so much. I love em.

I HADDD TOOOOO, I think as unpetty as Tony was trying to be, that was her one that she got to have. Like she earned that. And it's a good litmus test! You gonna let yourself get fuckin cucked carmy come on!!!! sock that fuckin guy!!!

LOVED THIS love you HOPE YOU'VE HAD A GOOD COUPLE WEEKS SINCE SENDING THIS AGAIN SORRY IM LATEEE

#yapping #ask #extensive yapping #maybewecouldhappen

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thecoddaughter · 1 year ago

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I am here to be cringey and nostalgic...

Here is an entire breakdown of the QSMP as Hamilton characters (and key song that relate to plot moments) Blame my ADHD and my college's power outage that made me not have a single class today... and @thebeesforeleg's encouragement!

SONGS BELOW THE LINE <3

Songs outside of just the names list:

Schuyler Sisters - OG Theory Bros

Right Hand Man - Cellbit and Forever creating Ordo Theoritas

Meet Me Inside - Tubbo and Cucurucho

Guns and Ships - AMERICA’S FAVORITE FIGHTING FRENCHMAN… Etoiles and THE RIGHT HAND MAN… BadBoyHalo

History Has Its Eyes on You - BadBoyHalo (opening reminds me of his shared “war stories” with Cellbit)

Dear Theodosia - We all know that is Wilbur and Tallulah's song, but there is a whole second part and I feel like that belongs equally to Forever and Richas / Bad and Dapper

Non-Stop - Dapper & Pomme (as Hamilton) and Chayanne (as Burr)(Burr is this song is tired older brother who’s sick of their overachieving younger siblings)

What’d I Miss? - Wilbur the moment he comes back

Cabinet Battles - feel like the election debates or Ordem meetings

Take a Break - Bad (Hamilton), Baghera (Eliza), Pomme (Phillip), Foolish? (Angelica)

Say No to This - Foolish… (I AM JOKING! or am i?)

The Room Where It Happens - Foolish (for real this time) after being relieved from the Ordem

Schuyler Defeat - can I make a third one in a row Foolish? Cause I just picture this:

Richas: Look! Grandpa's in the paper! ‘Builder Foolish Gamers loses presidential life to young upstart Pomme’ Grandpa just lost his seat in the presidential election. Pac: Sometimes that's how it goes Richas: Daddy's gonna find out any minute Mike: I'm sure he already knows Cellbit [in the distance]: ATTA GIRL

Washington on Your Side - Foolish & Baghera singing about Jaiden

One Last Time - Baghera stepping out the Presidential Race

We Know - Tubbo, Forever, Phil to Bad about Ron Lemons… and him lying saying he’s planning on kidnapping Foolish… “Alexander, rumors only grow…”

Hurricane - Pac (the cure vibes)

The Reynolds Pamphlet - this feels like the Misclick Duo’s divorce trial

Angelica saying “I’m not here for you!” is so Jaiden saying “This is about justice.”

Burn/First Burn - Forever to Bad

“Don’t take another step in my direction.” “You can stand over there if you want. I don’t know who you are. I have so much to learn.” “And you are paranoid in every paragraph for how they will perceive you!” “And when the time comes, explain to the children the pain and embarrassment you put their mother through. When will you learn that they are your legacy, we are your legacy!”

Congratulations - Baghera (I know this had to have be what was happening in her head when she met Ron)

“I begged you to take a break, you refused to.” “You’ve redefined your legacy, congratulations” If she ends up switching sides bc Bad won’t give up Ron, “I’m not here for you… I know my brother like I know my own mind, you will never find anyone as trusting or as kind.””I love my brother more than anything in this life, I will choose his happiness over mine every time. Forever, is the best thing in our lives.”

It’s Quiet Uptown - Egg Disappearance and/or Bobby’s Death

The Election of 1800 - i feel like i shouldn’t have to say… its in the title… ELECTIONS

Your Obedient Servant - WHERE WE ARE RN… Forever and Bad are somehow exchanging letters while Forever is gone? (I’m not caught up but that’s that the clip seemed to be saying)

Forever: “Now you call me "amoral" A "dangerous disgrace"” “Answer for the accusations I lay at your feet or prepare to bleed, good man” Bad: “am not the reason no one trusts you No one knows what you believe I will not equivocate on my opinion… You would need to cite a more specific grievance. Here's an itemized list of thirty years of disagreements.”

The World Was Wide Enough - Forever’s Proposal that ended in explosions

Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Our Story - The Eggs <3

#qsmp #qsmp as songs #qsmp hamilton au?#qsmpblr #I am sorry for the cringe #i woke up and this was all I could thing of #blame first burn coming on my tiktok at 7 am

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saras-devotionals · 10 months ago

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Quiet Time 3/9

What am I feeling today?

Sick and nostalgic. Driving back home today and I’m going to miss pittsburgh. I haven’t gotten better though, my throat is still killing me and I’ve been coughing too, still don’t know what it is bc all my tests came back negative. Also stressed about the rest of the semester, I’m not ready to go back bc I know it’s just gonna be so much more work and idk how I’ll keep up without some sort of divine intervention 😅

Bible Plan: Healing What’s Hidden

Strength in Weakness

Depending on the context of your painful experience, your instinct may be to push back against those offering help. But you can’t win the war against trauma on your own. The enemy is too strong and too clever. The only hope you have is to let humility lead you to healing. It seems contrary to reason, but strength is found in acknowledging our weaknesses.

I don’t think I push back against help. I can be wary of it sometimes, not always believing their intentions. But regardless I latch on to anything to help me (which can also be a problem bc I don’t take the time to discern).

Paul knew this well. He experienced all kinds of hardship and trauma. This dude was beaten, stoned, and shipwrecked, all while being on the most wanted lists of the Gentiles and the Jews at the same time! He was a tough guy. No one would challenge that. Yet he didn’t boast about his strength and fortitude but rather about his weakness.

This is the reasoning behind our perfect weakness ministry. And I appreciate all that they have done for me thus far. I feel I’m at a point right now where I want to decipher my emotions but I don’t want to put in all the work and effort. I can scratch the surface level but I’m having a hard time pushing myself to dig deeper, it just feels like there’s a roadblock inside me and I don’t know how to get past it or what’s beyond it.

Humility invites others to help us. Pride pushes them away. Humility permits God to enter into our pain. Pride says, “I can do it alone.” Humility listens to wise counsel. Pride rejects the advice of others. Humility leads to healing. Pride leads to destruction.

Okay so I actually wrote a lot about this but then my phone refreshed and I lost all of it🥲 basically I went on a whole rant between my own humility and pride and I noted that I can be prideful in some areas but I try my best to be humble before other people and God bc if my way doesn’t work, that’s for a reason beyond me.

The humility required to heal from trauma is a risks/rewards scenario. You have to be willing to put yourself in others’ hands—to entrust them with your story—in order to build the loving relationships and community you’ll need to heal. It’s not easy, and it’s the total opposite of what your brain may tell you to do, but you can’t skip this step. Openness and vulnerability are what your heart needs in order to heal.

again, this was deleted🥲 but even though it can be uncomfortable and at times painful to be open with other people it is absolutely necessary and something I’ve been doing with the people around me since I was a little kid bc that’s just how I’ve been, I like to talk through everything, it’s incredibly helpful and I yearn for it.

Proverbs 16:18 NIV

“Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.”

Pride can absolutely destroy us, thinking our way is better is not the right way to go. Therefore, let’s continually (daily) submit ourselves to God and His will because we are not our own Lord.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NIV

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

scripture from perfect weakness. This is really great because almost daily I feel weak. I feel that I have absolutely no strength at all and can’t possibly do a thing without His help because I know I can’t. I’m like the shell of a person a lot of time and I just, as cheesy as it sounds, need Jesus to take the wheel. But again, I need to blast in my weakness! I can own up to it! I know I am weak but the reason I’m still here is because God is not weak, He is the strength I rely on!

1 Peter 5:6-7 NIV

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

He cares for me🥹 idk about y’all but that really truly means so much to me. Even when I may feel that I have no one else in my corner I know that God got me and that’s so comforting. With all this anxiety I’m feeling, I’ll just give it to God. I know that He’ll pull through for me because He always does.

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silverstarfics · 2 years ago

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Today’s prompt was ‘I’m proud of you’ and I could have written pure fluff. I had planned to write pure fluff. But somehow this happened?

(Warning: a character gets outed against their will so skip this one if you think that’s something which might upset you. Here, have a virtual hug instead <3)

AO3 link

@thunder-pride

All of them have had their fair share of unwanted paparazzi coverage - certain people significantly more so than others – to the point where Gordon joked that it was an official Tracy coming-of-age tradition, earning a horrified look from Alan and a stern lecture from Scott. So, really, this sort of thing shouldn’t have been a surprise. And yet.

It wasn’t even as if Gordon was secretive about his sexuality. It was common knowledge amongst friends and family; he’d just never outright stated it in an interview for public dissection. He flirted with anyone who took his fancy and painted a little flag on his baldric during pride month. So, really, from his perspective, getting outed by the press wasn’t a big deal, because how could he have been outed if he had never been in the closet to begin with?

He was mostly upset on behalf of his poor date who had suddenly faced reporters at his front door and had been forced to disconnect his phone when it rang off the hook for several hours straight. Or, you know, not-so-straight, which was kind of the issue in the first place. Gordon didn’t give a shit what the press thought – or what anyone thought of him save for his family – but he drew the line at them harassing someone he’d come to care for. It wasn’t as if it was even a serious relationship – mostly just casual hook-ups which had led to getting dinner together when Gordon next had some downtime – so the poor guy had definitely not signed up for this.

“It’s none of their goddamn business,” Scott declared, a livewire of pure fury. He was angrier than Gordon himself, ranting about privacy and boundaries and the audacity. Several emails had been sent to a very expensive firm of lawyers and if the reporter who had initially broken the story valued her life, then she should probably start running for the hills and become a recluse for the rest of her life.

“I know,” Gordon repeated for what seemed like the hundredth time.

They were in one of the spare offices up in the Roundhouse and he was lounged upside down on a blue couch. The blood rushing to his head did nothing to cure the faintly queasy sense of discomfort which had accompanied the cold pit in his stomach.

It was like he’d said already – if he’d ever been a closet to begin with then it had been made of frickin’ glass, so he hadn’t technically been outed… So why did he feel so weird about the entire thing? It was sort of violating to have everyone discussing his personal life. The tabloids had been pawing through his entire dating history for the past two days. He sort of wanted to be sick.

“I just…” For the first time, he let a hint of unease creep into his voice. He closed his eyes, sensing Scott’s footsteps come to a halt. “I hate the way they’re talking about this like it’s a dirty secret. It’s who I am. I went on a date with a guy. Big deal. Why are they talking about it as if they caught me drug dealing? And it’s- God, I don’t even know. I don’t care who knows, but I care that they’re spinning the story into this whole reveal. It’s supposed to be my choice, you know? I’m meant to be the one who says, hey, by the way, this is me.”

“It’s not everybody knowing which bothers you, it’s the loss of autonomy.”

“Exactly.”

Gordon felt the couch dip as Scott took a seat beside him. When he opened his eyes, his brother was silhouetted against the sinking sun, dark hair highlighted with gold light, jaw still set with indignation on Gordon’s behalf. For a moment, he looked so much like their father that Gordon lost the ability to breathe. He wondered briefly how Jeff would have dealt with the situation. Probably in much the same way as Scott had – with a bloodthirsty legal team.

“Sit up before you make yourself sick,” Scott instructed him, leaning back against the cushions with a weary sigh. There were dark circles beneath his eyes again, tension keeping his shoulders rigid. He scrubbed his hands down his face, repressing a yawn. He’d been up for over twenty-four hours fending off the press whilst setting their own PR team on the case, despatching TI security to protect the poor, unfortunate date and checking in with Gordon at the same time. He probably didn’t even realise just how grateful his younger brother was for all of it.

“Thanks.”

Scott reached forward, snagged Gordon’s shirt, and hauled him the right way up. “Come again?”

“Just… thanks.” Gordon shrugged, tucking his hands under his thighs to keep from fidgeting. He stared at the sunrays falling across the carpet to avoid meeting Scott’s gaze. “For all of this. I know you’ve always got my back, but you’re, like, genuinely angry on my behalf right now and it’s just… nice. So, thanks. I have got a favour to ask though.”

Scott switched his phone onto silent as it vibrated again. “What type of favour?”

“Let me do an interview. Just one. It’ll be an exclusive scoop, so I want it to be with the right person, which is sort of where you come in because I have no idea how to arrange that. We’ve got an entire team for this kinda thing, right?”

It could have been a trick of the light, but Scott’s smile looked impossibly fond. “I’ll handle it. Penelope has some contacts too.”

“Cool.” Gordon exhaled slowly. His head was spinning slightly, although it was difficult to tell whether that was a result of sitting upside down for so long or a delayed reaction to having his sexuality used as a tabloid headline. “Cool, cool, cool. Also, um… actually, there’s one other thing. We have scholarships, don’t we? Like, there’s one set up in Mom’s name. Is there one in Dad’s? I have a vague memory of that.”

“There’s…” Scott took a moment to steady his voice. “John and I set one up in his name after- Yes, there’s a Jeff Tracy scholarship.” He draped an arm along the back of the couch and let Gordon fall heavily against his side. “You’ve got an idea then, I’m guessing?”

“Maybe.” Gordon lifted his feet onto the edge of the couch and picked at the loose thread in his shorts. His hands were trembling slightly, but he couldn’t figure out why, only knew that he was more grateful for Scott’s presence than he could put into words. “Can we set another one up? For LGBT+ kids? Not in my name, it feels kinda weird doing that while I’m alive. But yeah. Is that a thing we can do?”

Scott lifted his arm from the cushions to pull him closer. “Definitely. It’ll take a few days, but I can get it approved by Friday at the latest.”

He fumbled for his phone, trying to stifle a yawn, and Gordon swatted his wrist.

Scott shot him an offended look. “What was that for?”

“It can wait until morning. We both need a break. You’ve been up the entire night.”

“So have you.”

“Exactly.” Gordon clambered off the couch. “C’mon, let’s grab some food and crash for a few hours. Like, a lot of hours.” He caught Scott’s hands and tried to pull him upright. “Scotty.”

Scott reluctantly slid his phone into his pocket. He was clearly itching to check those unread messages and emails, but for now his younger brother was still his top priority and Gordon was planning to make the most of that for as long as he could. It was rare for him to be able to get Scott to eat a proper meal and actually sleep for once. The same fierce love which had led Scott to verbally tear several people to shreds whilst simultaneously typing out an email with his other hand ran both ways even if the dumbass couldn’t always see that.

Virgil had saved two plates for them, both stashed in the fridge with a note warning Alan not to touch on pain of death. Gordon shoved one in the microwave and propped himself against the counter to wait while Scott sat on a bar stool and tried not to fall asleep. Unusually, they ate in silence – Scott responding to emails and Gordon lost in his own head.

“Hey,” Scott prompted.

Gordon blinked, suddenly realising that his empty plate was gone. He pushed his knuckles against his eyes to rid them of the tired blur. The world seemed very big all of a sudden. People were talking about him – not his achievements but his identity – and it made his skin crawl. He imagined that this was the closest he would ever come to understanding how John felt about social events.

“Gordon,” Scott called softly, rapping his knuckles against his brother’s head. “C’mon, bud. Bedtime. Don’t make me carry you.”

Gordon slid off his perch with a tired laugh. “Carry me? I’m not ten anymore.”

“And?”

“And you wouldn’t let that stop you.”

“Exactly.”

Scott tugged him into a warm hug. Gordon let his head fall against his brother’s shoulder and finally felt the tension leak from his muscles. The world was passing judgement and if he were honest with himself then that was scary as hell, but Scott was still here, defending him from bullies as if they were kids again. He buried his face in Scott’s shoulder and breathed.

“I’m really proud of you,” Scott murmured. “I’m so sorry this happened, but I’m proud of you.”

Gordon lifted his head with a watery smile. “Permission to make a Pride joke?”

Scott gave him a light shove towards the stairs with a laugh. “Go to bed, squid.”

#Is it obvious that i love writing these two?#because i really do #anyway back to writing heart wrenching angst for another fic #i mean uhh what nooo i didn't say that #thunderpride #thunderpride 2023 #thunderbirds are go

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