#intergenerational trauma

[liberaljane]

Your feelings are valid on too. Special shoutout to all the cycle breakers. 💐

Created with Mother Wound Project

Digital illustration depicting three generations of women with a ribbon linking all of them. The scene includes an elderly Latina woman shrugging, a middle-age Afrolatina woman dodging the ribbon & her daughter cutting the ribbon. Text reads, “pain travels through families until someone is ready to feel it” by Stephi Wagner

[virtualplushy]

intergenerational trauma has me losing my mind bc it’ll have you looking at your mama like “well i woulda been batshit crazy if i was raised by her mama too.” and then you look at your grandma and you’re like “well i woulda been batshit crazy if i was raised by her mama too!” and rinse and repeat

[mad-girlslove-song]

when ethel cain said “i tried to be good am i no good am i no good am i no good” which started with her self-loathing after being abused by her father and neil perry said “i was good. i was really good” and then he killed himself because he knew that he would never be good enough for his father

[historic-meme]

Found out yesterday my great-great grandparents died in a pogrom in modern-day Ukraine in 1920. The violence lasted for 5 days and killed about 700 people.

I don’t know how to make goyim understand that when finding this out I was so devastated and yet unsurprised. I was unsurprised because when learning Jewish history, starting around the middle ages to modernity, I always feel as if it is “my history.” These events happened to my ancestors. Even if technically that isn’t true.

I did not realize until the start of my MA program in public history that it is not common for people to feel this close a connection to their ethnic/religious groups history.

This phenomenon is what I want goyim to understand. That feeling of when i found out the specific event of violence that killed my great-great grandparents felt more like a final nail in the coffin than an unexpected blow. Yes, it hurt and i cried as i always do when i found out the specifics of my families deaths to antisemitic violence. But it was not a surprise. Why would it be when since at least middle school I remember learning about jewish history and internalizing it as my own history that happened to my own family.

And this phenomenon is also why jews react so strongly when violent antisemitism is in the news. Yes, it has to do with intergenerational trauma but also this deep connection we feel to all of Jewish history. That we can see how this is just another atrocity in a long line of atrocities. That there is no tangible difference between the victims and ourselves. This is all of our collective history.

[shu-of-the-wind]

i read somewhere that grey whales can live upwards of 150 years, and that there are likely grey whales out in the oceans today that were alive and saw the massive whale hunts of the 19th century that inspired herman melville's moby dick.

to be clear, i have no idea if this is true. it could just be apocryphal, or something someone made up. but even if it isn't true, i think there's a something to read into that in terms of trauma and repair. if there really are whales on this planet today that are alive after seeing so many other creatures like them slaughtered and dragged out of the water by unknown hands for an unknown purpose, then those whales know the dangers and flee from them even after the people who hunted their kin have been over a hundred years dead. and they taught their calves to flee the same way. and those calves taught their calves.

150 year old whales teaching younger whales who teach younger whales who have no experience with the reasons why they must avoid boats, but know in their blood and bones that their safety relies on it.

something something trauma long outlives the people who inflict it. something something trauma transforms how generations grow.

[awkwardandeccentric]

You ever notice how Blitz and Stolas were so traumatized by their fathers that they went too far in the other direction, accidentally hurting their daughters in the process?

Blitz was physically abused, the family scapegoat, constantly made to feel worthless, and taught from a young age that he’s only worth the money he can provide? So he’s overly doting and protective of Loona. He never lectures her, even when she’s causing trouble, because he doesn’t want to upset her and make her feel worthless or disposable. He won’t let her have a boyfriend, despite the fact that she’s an adult. He borderline infantilizes her.

Stolas is more a product of neglect and while he had a better time raising Via, it’s easier to raise a kid that you’ve had from birth as opposed to one you adopted only a month before they aged out of foster care. But he still swung too violently in the opposite direction. He has no boundaries with her. He protects her from the wrong threats (the knowledge of his abuse as opposed to the abuser, herself). It looks like she’s home schooled, so he still hasn’t worked out that the extreme isolation he suffered is a large part of why he’s Like This. He’s spent so much time attending to her every whim that when he decides it’s time to start chasing his own happiness, she can’t empathize because she was his happiness.

It’s a great depiction of intergenerational trauma. Both of them are trying so hard to never make their daughters feel as awful as they felt, but they’re scarring their daughters in different ways.

[multiplicity-positivity]

Shoutout to Indigenous systems on this day for Truth and Reconciliation!

Today, September 30th, is the Canadian National Day for Truth and Reconciliation. This is a day of remembrance for victims and survivors of Indian residential schools in Canada, though it could likely apply to those who live on Turtle Island in general.

If your system or someone you know is or knows a survivor of an Indian residential school, or has a loved one who did not survive their time in a residential school, our hearts go out to you. We are wishing for you and family a future full of strength, peace, and resilience. Inter-generational trauma can have significant impacts, and the pain imposed on your loved ones and ancestors should not be forgotten as time passes. We hope that their lives can be honored and remembered throughout history, and we want to do our part to help preserve their legacy.

For allies of Indigenous peoples, if you are able to, please wear an orange shirt today to honor those whose lives were forever changed due to the negative impact residential schools has left on indigenous communities. Remember that, even today, Indigenous peoples face hardships, disparities, and inequalities in our society. The closure of residential schools does not mean rest, healing, and proper compensation for the victims of such institutions. Let’s vow as a community to make our spaces safe and accepting of Indigenous systems, and do our part to educate ourselves on their histories so that we may be better allies in the future.

Friends, please show some support to the Indigenous people in your lives today, and do not take their presence for granted. Take a moment to learn more about the history of Indian residential schools in Canada and the United States, and the grim legacy they have left which many Indigenous communities are still dealing with today. If you are able to, please reach out to the Indigenous systems and non-systems in your lives to provide support in whatever ways they have requested.

We will include links to sites and organizations where you can learn more about the Canadian National Day for Truth and Reconciliation and the history of Indian residential schools in both Canada and the USA, along with links where you can directly support survivors of Indian residential schools. Remember, if you cannot support these organizations or individuals financially, you can show your support by educating yourselves and providing a space in your own communities where Indigenous voices can be acknowledged and uplifted.

Indigenous systems, we love you, we are in your corner, and we want to support and uplift you however we can. Please do not hesitate to get in touch if there is anything we can do to help make our spaces more welcoming for you. You have an important and treasured place in the plural community, and we are honored to be able to share this space with you. We hope that you can do your best to treat yourselves and your system with compassion and gentleness today, and take care!

‼️ Non-indigenous systems are welcome and encouraged to reblog, but DO NOT derail or try to center your voice over actual indigenous systems and those who are actually affected by inter-generational trauma due to Indian residential schools!‼️

[lesbianjudasiscariot]

He Made Me In His Image

The Woman Destroyed - Simone de Beauvoir / Seventeen Going Under - Sam Fender / The Cruel Prince - Holly Black / Swan - Nicole Dollanganger / Elektra - Sophokles tr. Anne Carson / Sun Bleached Flies - Ethel Cain

[incarnateangelique]

My biggest personality flaw :

Realizing that I would stan every male protagonist if they were a girl.

(Jon Snow) Joan Snow would have made me sick with how she never felt at home in the place she was

(Harry Potter) Hari Potter would be a sad girl , failure icon, and every adult male figure project their issues onto

(Light Yagami) Lucia Yagami would be a gone girl, girl boss, femcel icon with a God complex and female rage

(Eren Yeager) Eden Yeager; God forbid a girl have goals and homicidal rage and intergenerational trauma.

(Lucerys Velaryon) Lucerys/ Lucerra Velaryon would be a girl trying her best/ dying too soon by male obsession

(Jacaerys Velaryon) Jacaera/ Jaenora Velaryon had potential but never made it.

The author fumbled with them

[lurkingshan]

I have caught up through episode 8 of TsukuTabe and I really cannot contain my emotion about Kasuga's arc with her family in these episodes, so I am here to scream. That was so fucking beautiful. This has to be one of my favorite depictions of breaking the cycle of family trauma that I have ever seen.

I loved how efficiently the show established everything we needed to know about Kasuga's father with just a few lines of dialogue over the phone. The way he began the conversation by trying to shame her, the way he started making demands without asking her a single question about her life or how she was doing, the way he casually said "Akira is in the prime of his life" while tacitly dismissing any worth or value Kasuga's own life as a single woman might hold. With just that one conversation we knew exactly who that man is and why Kasuga has tried to build her own life in solitude rather than continue to live with him.

And her conversation with Nagumo gave us even more insight into how she was raised that fills in some context about the way she thinks about food and why taking pleasure in her meals is such a big deal for her. Kasuga's family deprived her of food (love), and so it's no wonder that meeting someone like Nomoto, who was so determined to give her food (love), would be such a life altering event for her, and finally give her the sense of safety she has never had.

I loved, too, that the show delivered some firm commentary on the way women are subjugated in heterosexual marriages and forced to serve their husband’s family like indentured slaves, particularly in many Asian cultures. Kasuga was very affected by seeing her mother live that way, and you could see she is carrying guilt about leaving this burden to her mother. But ultimately, she cannot control her mother's choices or fix her mistakes, she can only save herself from repeating them. And she found the strength within herself to do it, even though it must have been terrifying to take that leap.

The way that Kasuga drew that boundary with her father was a Very Big Deal in her cultural context, and I loved that the show drove that point home by having Kasuga confess to Nomoto about her decision and express her fear of being judged. She knows she will absolutely be cast as a bad daughter and judged harshly by most people who find out she has cut ties with her father, and she needed Nomoto to reassure her once again that their relationship is a safe place for her. She needed Nomoto to reassure her that she is her family now and she will always be on her side. And of course Nomoto did exactly that, and we got to end this very emotional episode with a Kasuga who is bravely building the life she wants for herself with the love and support of her chosen family.

[system-of-a-feather]

Honestly I think people on here really greatly under acknowledge and recognize the large impact / large trauma that comes from intergenerational trauma from colonization, systemic racism, and not-white America centered trauma. And I know that likely has to do with how massively white tumblr dot com is, but it really isn't until I was around my writing partner that has known me for more than half my life and talking with another peer with Chinese-Indonesian background did it really occur to me how intensely pervasive intergenerational trauma due to US involvement in SE Asia is and how it plays / impacts my life.

A lot of non-America centered trauma and abuse really doesn't fall into any of the real common ways people talk about abuse, neglect and trauma because a lot of that sort of trauma is way more complex and nuanced because a lot of the nature of HOW / WHY that abuse, neglect and trauma occurred is inherently tied a lot more into a history of community / collective trauma and abuse and the ways the individuals from those areas 1) had to survive and 2) the resources that they had available to work with and 3) the inability / difficulty for individuals who are transmitting that intergenerational trauma to realize that they are not in that situation anymore and thus not unintentionally recreate the environment / mindset / trauma for the kids going on

And I'm saying "inability / difficulty" in this case because while I agree that the rhetoric of "it doesn't matter if an abuser has trauma, they could have not continued it" is true in most cases, in my experience especially with my own intergenerational trauma, some people have systemically been stripped of basically any real resources or aid or opportunity or space to really "stop the cycle of abuse" and even at their obvious BEST attempts, they still end up in a position where they systemically really can't prevent it from passing on

It was a joke - a very real joke, but that is something I appreciate with my close friends because it reminds me to check my anxieties against reality - that I "act like I still am in Indonesia" (which for the record, I have never been in Indonesia, I'm the only one in my family that hasn't because I wasn't born when they were there) as a call back to when I was commentating on the complex and dynamic financial situation my family had growing up to which my friend told me "Yeah, but it doesn't matter if you had money or not if your dad constantly lived like he was still in Indonesia" which like... 100% true

And its honestly a really fucking hard thing to work through and overcome. Factually, ON MY OWN - ie not including my fiance who is ALSO in a similar situation on his own, I am financially pretty well off. Every month I make good savings and I have a pretty fat cushion in case things go bad, and so I very much CAN afford to buy myself a $6 fidget toy, but spending that $6 feels like fucking death itself a lot of the time.

I honestly don't know if I'll ever feel as if my financial situation is anything other than broke, not because of income or anything, but just because the factual amount of money I make isn't what controls if I feel financially comfortable / well off or not. I could probably have a half million in the bank and still be sweating about spending $6 on a fidget toy.

And honestly, I was watching 90 day fiance with my friends when I was traveling, and one of the dynamics (for those that know Ashley and Manuel) REALLY made it apparent how disconnected multi-generational Americans can be towards immigrant / immigrant families that have had to come to America for a chance at a better life. It's an experience - a trauma that a lot of people who are not an immigrant themselves or a first generation American to wrap their head around and fathom.

And honestly, I wish there was more talk about it. I wish there were more people with that history talking about it.

(I 'lowkey' start venting under here so Imma put it under the cut since it detracts somewhat from the point but its also worth stating)

I wish there were more people openly discussing how absolutely fucked it is that the US gets to come into countries, INTENTIONALLY fuck it up as a CONFIRMED and ADMITTED method to 'instill democracy / capitalism', and then the same people that from the same country that the US fucked over - for PURE survival - have to immigrate for a chance of living a life that is anything other than rough and a constant struggle.

Some people really wonder why it is that our system has such a foul taste in our mouth for America, I know some people think that because before fusing, >I< wondered why XIV was so deeply and intensely bitter about all things American, and I absolutely get it.

Indonesia was literally intentionally and systemically fucked over by the US Military. That fucking over resulting in immense trauma to my dad that not only immensely translated to me, but also made him EXTREMELY subservient in a "keep your head down, lick the boots of the most powerful person, and enjoy living under the boot of those in power because its the only way to have peace" which is something we - specifically XIV in the past - had internalized deeply which is why were were pretty far down the right wing path and why - when XIV looked at it closer and immediately saw past it - flipped to hard Anti-America values. Because its FUCKED that the US gets to come and ruin a country and then have the victims come and having the same victims "thankfully" licking the boots of the US for giving them a "better life".

Its honestly awful and literally no one talks about it and I know its not just Indonesia that has this. Its the fucking US's modus operandi and its fucking awful.

The US is a place you can come "to get a better life" largely because they fucking ruined most of the other places ability to have a good life.

[mad-girlslove-song]

"my mother" by lea jane

[historic-meme]

Today is Holocaust Remembrance Day. This whole week l have been thinking alot about the Holocaust. So last night I re-read maus. One panel really stuck out to me during this reading. For context this is in Maus 2 when Art is talking to his therapist, a Holocaust survivor, about how he feels he could never measure up to his father who survived Auschwitz. At this point in the story his father had already past. May his memory be a blessing.

The dialogue, “but you weren’t in Auschwitz. You were in Rego Park,” hit me like a punch to the chest. I have no better way to explain the paradoxical guilt I felt and continue to feel as the granddaughter of a Holocaust survivor. I did not live during the Holocaust. It had ended before my grandmother reached eighteen years old. And yet, the Shoah seems to loom over me. Forever a reminder, that I am alive by sheer luck. My great grandfather’s parents as well as two of his brothers were murdered in Auschwitz. My great grandmother’s twin sister was also murdered in the Holocaust. Despite hours of research, I still have no idea where exactly she died.

Using the term guilty for what I feel doesn’t seem exactly right but there is no better word in the English language. Maybe if I was smarter or more articulate I could find better words.

A key theme of this chapter is intergenerational trauma. This is the same chapter that has this iconic image.

On this Holocaust Remembrance Day, I simply want to acknowledge the real and extremely painful intergenerational trauma and inherited survivors guilt felt by descendants of Jewish survivors. I know I struggled in the past with feeling like I even have any right to feel this way considering I am three generations removed from any of my family that were murdered in the Holocaust. If any other Jews struggle with thoughts like this, I want to assure you that your feelings are valid and real. Intergenerational trauma is complicated and the feelings that come with it don’t simply disappear once a certain number of generations from the event pass.

This post is specifically about the Holocaust and jewish intergenerational trauma stemming from our persecution and genocide. If this post resonates with you as a non-Jew who has intergenerational trauma I am glad, but please do not derail this post.

[davidaugust]

👵👧📖

[gothgleek]

[yutamayo]

Working on the Toji AMV n idk why but I found this screencap of Megumi so funny

run faster boy ur dad's ab to beat ur ass