#eldest sister

[x3nshit]

another shitty thing about being the eldest daughter who based her worth on academics and how useful she can be to others is that it physically hurts to ask for help even when we desperately need it. it's an internalized belief that we should we able to figure out everything on our own and it sucks

[mad-girlslove-song]

"my mother" by lea jane

[hephaestusshield]

man of the house (eldest daughter)

[muskaanayesha]

I am the eldest daughter, which is to say that I am a sponge that absorbs all the trauma of the household. Life is spilt milk and I am a kitchen cloth burnt at the edges. I am falling apart at the corners, threads coming away, rips and ripples like I am torn and trembling in an ocean of nothingness. I am the eldest daughter, which is to say that I emphasize with everyone. The love of my life marries someone else, and I find myself hoping that he loves her the same. My brother wishes death upon me and I toss and turn in my sleep over the tears I saw in his eyes. Life is an accidental fire and I am water. I attempt to stop a tragedy I did not start, to go blindly into a catastrophe that I cannot halt. I am the eldest daughter, which is to say that I am silent in my needs. My father asks me what I'd like to eat and I say that I am not hungry. I will chew on my guilt and swallow my pride before I even think of asking for anything. I buy myself a sweet and nothing tastes as bitter as it. Life is a metaphor for debt and I am drowning in the desire to be as insignificant as possible. I demand nothing and nothing demands me.

[raisunii]

Eldest Daughter; Surrogate

After the Ball, Carl Thomsen / Light of Love, Florence & the Machine / God Complex, Rachael Allen / The Split Man, Victor Langheld / A Poem for Women in Rage, Audre Lorde / on being chi hai, Kimberly Nguyen / The Convalescent, Willard Leroy Metcalf / Swear to God the Devil Made Me Do It, The Front Bottoms

[bluetalepost]

i would never be a therapist because that's who i've been all my life. i wonder if i would ever let myself be a mother.

[muttgirl]

i hope one day she can understand

[dontthinkorjudge]

i hope my little siblings grow up knowing that i'm their biggest fan. i have seriously never loved any other being as much as i love them.

[golden-letters]

i was helping my mum send an email. and in her drafts i saw so many letters to my dad. i didn’t know how to react. maybe we’re much more similar than i thought. in my drafts too, mum, lays letters to my dead father and even some to you.

[orgasming-caterpillar]

When your card declines at therapy so they bring out your mom in her early twenties pregnant with her first child (it's going to ruin her life forever and you can't help her)

[x3nshit]

the eldest daughter urge to have an abundance of knowledge and be the smartest person in the room and excel in multiple hobbies and still look sexy doing it all

[mad-girlslove-song]

"I have known that I have wanted to be an incredible mother for as long as I have feared being a regrettable daughter."

Blythe Baird

[wordedarchive]

can we talk about the eldest sibling guilt that comes with leaving home? the one where we question our decision each possible second. asking ourselves if it'd be worth it leaving the younger ones on their own. from being a third parent to always keeping them first - there is that bittersweet reminiscence of a childhood well spent. arguments, fights and unnecessary drama. who knows where that innocent time went. stop doubting every single action. you deserve choosing yourself for once.

[muskaanayesha]

Watching the eldest daughter take on the second mother role in a family (cannot interfere, it's a canon event)

[girlwritten]

eldest daughter. your burden is so heavy. you are your mother’s pillar. she leans on you for support, since you’re so trustworthy and so willing to help. yet she can’t stand the traces of your father she sees in you, in your eyes, full of defiance. and your father sees too much of himself in you to let it go. he doesn’t know how to deal with himself and so he can’t deal with you. your sibling clings to you and rejects you at the same time. they need your help but don’t want it. you’re no better than your parents. yet they prefer you so much to mom and dad. eldest daughter. your only crime was being born first.

[simp-for-fiction]

Being the eldest daughter is tough but to be the eldest bhabhi/bahu, that's a hundred times tougher. All of a sudden, you've got a whole another family. Imagine dealing with that.