#still since this worked and looks good. i wanna try
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warping-realities · 1 day ago
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All For The Family - Part 2
“Ryan… Ryan… bro… wake up!”
Brian didn’t wanna wake up; that dream was where he wanted to be. No worries about work, no competition with his brother… brother? What brother…?
“Ryan, brother, get up… NOW!!!” Someone yelled, chucking a pillow at him, waking him up with a start.
Br-Ryan shot up, “WTF? What’s with the pillow, RJ?”
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“We’re late for work, you dumbass! Dad’s gonna skin us alive if we take too long. Get your act together!” The muscular guy in front of him said. Ryan still remembered the dream, envying the other guy’s body. Could he ever reach that size? Wait, why would he want to be that big? Something felt off… that dream… and…
“Dude! Get up right now or I’m dragging your skinny ass outta there!”
“Okay, okay, just let me take a shower and brush my teeth!” Ryan replied, getting up and deciding to worry about strange dreams during his downtime. Easier said than done, because as soon as he stepped into the bathroom, a surprise awaited him.
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“What The Fuck!” he exclaimed, staring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. The skinny physique he was used to had been replaced by a toned body, like he actually lifted weights, either at the gym or on the job. The physique in front of him was the same as in that dream… had it really been a dream? Maybe it was a memory… but how could he remember something he never lived? Or had he lived it? While he tried to process that info, he was interrupted by RJ, standing in all his muscular glory at the bathroom door. Had he gotten even bigger in the last few minutes? No way, that’d be impossible!
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“Bro, you’re playing with fire! I know you’ve made some sick gains since you started working here, but now’s not the time to be admiring yourself!” said the muscle giant, though he sounded more satisfied than scolding. More importantly, that explanation made sense in Ryan's confused mind, causing a smile to spread across his face as golden sparks surrounded him.
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“Okay bro, just a minute. I really gotta pee.” He said while sniffing his armpit, finding the smell acceptable; even if it wasn’t, he knew the shower would have to wait. After a long pee, he grabbed his clothes tossed by the bed—a worn-out pair of jeans, a tank top, and work boots—and headed for the kitchen, following the familiar path he had taken for months. The first thing he noticed was the delicious aroma of Mrs. Abernathy’s cooking. Following that scent, he found her chatting with Debra, lunch already well underway. The two didn’t even seem to notice his entrance into the cozy farmhouse kitchen; they were so caught up in their lively conversation. For some reason, Mrs. Abernathy looked more radiant today, as if the weight of a few years had been lifted from her, and even Debra seemed to glow. It must be the joy they were sharing at that moment, Ryan thought.
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Not wanting to interrupt, he turned to the table where the two biggest guys he’d ever known were seated, Mr. Abernathy, Roy, and Roy Jr., RJ. They both smiled at him, taking up the whole kitchen with their massive frames.
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“Jesus, Ryan. You took your sweet time, son. Sit down and eat a good meal; today’s gonna be busy, so even though we’re late, I don’t wanna risk seeing you hit the floor from lack of fuel!” Roy said, still smiling, but that last part made something click in Ryan’s mind, something about…
“And what about my car?”
“Oh bro, don’t sweat it, we’ll check it out at some point today, either after lunch or later in the afternoon. Now, do what Dad said and stuff your face!” RJ replied. Realizing he was starving, Ryan sat at the table and began piling food onto his plate, way more than he’d ever eaten in his life… or had he? He had the distinct feeling that this was the usual routine every morning since he started working here… so why did it feel so… new? He was trying to wrap his head around that incongruity when a loud burp next to him made him turn to RJ, who was laughing openly.
“Damn, that was a big one! Come on, Ryan, show us what you got!”
“I… I don’t know if… I should!”
“Come on, son, better out than in, and with all you’ve eaten, your stomach must be bubbling.” Roy encouraged as Ryan realized what he was saying was true; he was stuffed, and something was pushing up from his stomach with high pressure until “Burrrrrp.” Ryan let out an even bigger burp than RJ’s. It sent all the guys at the table into fits of laughter, while Mrs. Abernathy shot them a disapproving glance.
“Boys, have some manners at the table!” she said with a serious expression.
“Marisa, leave the boys alone; boys will be boys, right?”
“Then let them be far away from my kitchen!”
“Alright, alright! Time to get to work, boys… and Ryan, I’m really proud of you; you’re showing yourself to be the right kind of man!”
Hearing that made Ryan beam, golden sparks erupting around him once again.
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After that, the real work began. Harvesting was tough. The more experienced Roy and RJ took turns driving the combine and the truck that collected the grains, while Ryan helped guide the flow of seeds to make sure they didn’t fall in the wrong spot. Every grain counted, given the family’s tight financial situation. Ryan wondered how they managed without him? Having been there for a year, arriving shortly after the last harvest, he now understood why the family treated him with such care; the work must have gotten a lot easier with him around. After they finished the hearty lunch delivered by Debra in generous portions, without even leaving their vehicles, Roy called for a break. There were only a few acres left to harvest, which could be done the next day. So if the boys wanted, they could work on Ryan’s old Mustang.
As they arrived at the barn, laughing and chatting like the good friends they were, RJ asked Ryan to wait while he grabbed the tools for the car repair. Still chuckling at a story RJ had just told him, Ryan sat down on an old bench. This was the first moment he’d been alone for more than a few seconds since he arrived at the Abernathy home… from where? Didn’t his car have a problem? But his car was currently covered by an old tarp in one corner of the barn and looked like it had been sitting there for months collecting dust. He was sure he had been working for Roy for a year now, but where had he worked before that? The answer that popped into his mind was a bank? But that didn’t make sense; why would he work at a bank? Those were the thoughts racing through the young man’s mind, with light brown hair and well-toned muscles, until he was interrupted by a persistent voice.
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“Ry… Ry… RY!!! What’s up, bro? You look like you’re on another planet!”
Ryan looked up to see RJ holding a wrench, his work tank top discarded somewhere along the way, and a worried expression on his face.
“Hey… b-bro… do you remember where I worked before I came here… was it at a bank? I can’t seem to recall what I did after college…”
“Ry… this is a joke, right? Someone like you could never work at a bank! And college? Guys like us don’t do that!”
“Guys like us…?”
“Yeah, man, guys of the land, manual labor, real men. Like me, like you!” RJ replied, smiling.
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“You think I’m like you?”
“Of course, you’re exactly like me!”
Hearing that sparked a fire of acceptance in Ry’s chest, which somehow led to another wave of golden sparks surrounding him as a smile spread across his face.
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“Now let’s get to work on what you’ve been itching to do, let’s fix your car, bro!”
“Hell yeahh!”
Hours passed as the two worked on Ryan’s red Mustang; there was a lot to do, but luckily they both knew their way around cars. Right after leaving school, Ry had jumped from city to city taking on various jobs, the longest being at a mechanic shop, where he had coincidentally acquired the car they were now trying to fix.
“Man, I’ve always been obsessed with cars. To me, the American Muscle Car is the pinnacle of automotive achievement!” an excited RJ said.
“Dude, I totally agree with you. I needed to have this beauty here. I knew with the right work, it’d be perfect! I don’t get why my brother got so mad at me!” Ry replied, stopping immediately after that comment. Did he have a brother?? Then why couldn’t he remember his face or even his name? He wondered, an expression of anguish creeping his bearded man's face as his defined muscles involuntarily tensed in discomfort.
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“Shit…” RJ muttered quietly before quickly recovering. “Your brother? Bro, I’m the closest thing you’ve got to a brother, and I’d never criticize you for buying a badass car like this! It’s like you haven’t learned in all these years we’ve known each other that I’ll support you even in your cra ziest ideas, just like you support me in mine, and buying the Mustang isn’t even close to being as wild as some of the things I’ve done!”
“Years…?”
“Now you’re really worrying me, brother! Dude, we’ve known each other since we were kids! My greatest joy was when you came to work with us right after we graduated. Can you imagine? Working with my best bro!”
“Best bro? I… I’m your best bro?”
“Of course you are, Ty! You and I are best bros for life!”
“Best bros…” Ty repeated, a smile breaking across his face as the biggest wave of golden sparks enveloped him, his strong, toned muscles relaxing as he looked at his lifelong best friend.
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“Sorry, man, I’m feeling kinda weird today.”
RJ, sensing that the thinh they are doing was coming to a close, went for the final push while discreetly notifying Roy that their plan was nearing its climax.
“Chill out, man, I know just the thing to help! How about we take a break here and really work out? My muscles are aching for a pump, and even though you’re not a skinny twig anymore, you still have a ways to go to catch up to me.”
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“This is definition, bro!”
“No, this is malnourishment, Ty! Let’s head to the back right now.”
The two moved toward the back of the barn, where there was a separate room that, to Ty’s surprise, was basically a fully-equipped old-school gym.
“Wow man, this is sick as hell!”
“Ty, bro! You talk like you don’t live here with me and haven’t used Dad’s gym since we were kids, even though you still seem like a little weakling to me.” RJ said, grinning.
“Shut up, asshole!” Ty shot back, mirroring RJ’s smile. But that quickly faded as he sat down, lost in thought.
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“But it’s true, that’s what I’m trying to tell you, man. It feels like something’s off with me. You’ve spent the whole day reminding me of things I already know; I feel fine for a while, and then everything gets muddled again. Am I going crazy?” he questioned RJ who was standing right in front of him, wearing nothing but some extremely short shorts that showcased his massive muscles.
“Ty, bro, you need to stop worrying about that. Now it’s time to work out and try to get close to this!” he said, flexing his powerful chest and arms.
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“I… work... out? Yes! But… I… don’t remember… that’s what I’m telling you… there’s something… missing…”
Before RJ could respond, a deep voice interrupted them.
“Can I know what’s going on here?” Asked Roy Abernathy in his work clothes with a serious expression.
“Roy… Mr. Abernathy… I’m sorry… it’s my fault… I wasn’t feeling well, and RJ wanted to cheer me up…”
“I know, son. What I want to know is why you didn’t say anything. You’re like a son to me, TJ. I expected you to see me as a father too!”
“Like a… father?”
“Of course, boy! I’ve watched you play with RJ in these fields since you could fit in the palm of my hand. I’ve followed your football games from Pop Warner all the way to the state championship semifinals in high school. You’ve brought me as much pride as my own son, boy.” Said the bigger man with a smile.
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That seemed to trigger the golden sparks once again.
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As the trademark smile spread across TJ’s face, knowing how little time they had left before their work was finished, Roy quickly stripped down, donning only some shorts that were just as tight and short as his son’s. His muscular body was less defined but much larger in mass and power.
“Let’s go, kid, take off those pants and show me what you’ve got! Who knows, maybe one day you’ll match this!” he said, flexing his arm and grinning.
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“I think that’s pretty unlikely, Roy, but let’s see what I can do!” TJ replied, smiling.
“Start with the warm-up, son! How about some squats?” Roy suggested as the younger man positioned himself.
“And, TJ?”
“Yes?” TJ answered, starting the exercise.
“My friends call me Roy. My sons call me Dad! Show me who you really are, son!”
That phrase, amidst his concentration on the exercise, ignited a new wave of golden sparks. As TJ squatted down and pushed up, his mind flooded with various memories: childhood days playing with his twin brother, who was just a few minutes older, under their father’s watchful eye. The two brothers, inseparable best friends, taking care of the farm chores together. The football games that had led them to the semifinals of the state championship. The decision to stay on the farm to help their parents with the work. Finally, the gaps in his memory were filled. He finally knew who he was. With one final push upward, Tyler James Abernathy finished his warm-up set, smiling at his father and his brother.
“Warm-up done, old man; how about we move on to something real?”
“Not before you do what I asked; show me what you’re capable of. Flex for me, son!”
“Dad, come on!” TJ replied, a bit exasperated.
“Hey, are you gonna let an old man outdo you?”
Smiling at his dad, who despite being frustrating was still his greatest role model, TJ flexed his massive muscles as a grin spread across his face.
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…..
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As the sun set that day, the twins walked home, chatting animatedly after making significant progress on the Mustang’s repairs. However, they stopped dead in their tracks when they encountered an unexpected scene that made their cheerfull expressions turn serious.
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Their father was standing with his arms crossed, staring at someone with his imposing physique blocking their view. But both knew their dad’s posture well enough, even from behind, to tell he was fuming. And a very angry Roy Abernathy was exactly what the other man was seeing.
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“I already told you I haven’t seen the guy you’re looking for, officer!” Roy said, his voice steady but firm.
“I don’t want to doubt your word, Mr. Abernathy; I’m just asking to take a look around your property. The last I heard, my brother was supposed to come here yesterday. Brian is many things I don’t approve of, but irresponsible isn’t one of them,” the man said, stepping into the twins’ line of sight.
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“Hey, you two, I’m Officer Lucas Harding. Have either of you seen my brother Brian?”
“Fuck!” exclaimed a startled RJ.
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Just as Debra and Marisa Abernathy emerged from the house, and Roy turned to his sons. All eyes were fixed on TJ, who stood frozen in place while the same question ran through the minds of the rest of the family, what had gone wrong? Worse than that: what else could happen?
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Continue....
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hee0soo · 2 days ago
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How quick things can change...
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Pairing — Kang Yeosang x Reader
Summary — A lot of things change in life. Some from good to bad and from bad to worse. And some go from worse to even worse real quick....
Genre — horror, angst
AU/Trope Info — SerialKiller au
Wordcount — 1.4k
Warnings — murder, manipulation, blood, knives, mention of guns, torture, death
Rating — NSFW ☕️☕️☕️☕️
A/N — @surveilenceysystem merry christmas and i hope you like your present... i know you said you like all things horror but writing this my mind went into some very dark places to the point i was scared it's to much. It's still a fear tbh
Anyways all the things you chose in your little game led to this and if you wanna know what everything meant then hit me up☺️
Disclaimer: this fic is written and copyrighted by ©hee0soo on tumblr. do not rewrite or repost on any other plattforms without my permission.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED!
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A year ago your life had been simple.
Going to university, studying something you were passionate about while slaving away over course work and a side job to keep you afloat. It was hard but calm, almost to calm if not to say boring.
Yes, you were bored of your life as it was. The same routines, the same people and the same things being drilled into your head by your family and friends.
“Just concentrate on your studies! Go out with friends and be good.”
Be good.
Funny, and ironic when you thought back on it.
Nobody would think what had become of you ever since you had met him.
Kang Yeosang, finished with university, a bit older and with an aura that was darker than most souls would expect when seeing his sweet, innocent and almost ethereal beauty for the first time.
He hid it well.
The darkness that lingered in his eyes when he smiled. The things he said with the most innocent of voices sometimes, making it look like he didn´t know what he was talking about when the contrary was the case.
He was… fascinating…
Your friends after all this time had still not know what to make of him, but they knew one thing. You had changed and none of them like it.
And they were right. You did change. After all, a year ago you wouldn´t have reveled in the fear of girls trying to get away from your clutches, sending a shot of pure adrenaline through your veins and making you feel more a life then you had ever felt. It was liberating in a way. Watching as they struggled once they fell into the trap you had set with Yeosang, now your lover, dragging them away together to your own little fantasy land as the man called it.
Catching the blood that was running down the sobbing girl’s forehead with your thumb you grinned at her before sticking your finger into your mouth, licking the liquid of with such pleasure one would think you ate candy.
“Don´t worry darling, it would hurt all that much…” you grinned like a cat that caught her mouse, causing the shaking girl to whimper in fear when she couldn´t free herself from the bindings holding her in place.
Yeosang was sat in his favorite old bean bag that had more stitches then fabric holding it together, enjoying the way you played with the present you had been given by him. He had noticed how restless you had become since the last one, giving him the idea to for once let you do as you pleased with it. He watched as you trailed the butterfly knife he had given you once he had introduced you to his life down her throat before cutting into her skin.
The girl screamed in pure terror and pain at the blade cutting into her skin and he could feel his dick harden in his pants.
You cooed at her. Taunting her with sweet little words that did nothing but make you more excited for what you were going to do. He was proud to see what he had made out of you.
The once good a diligent girl was now a killer that precisely did what she needed to do without regret.
You took a knife away slowly, walked around the chair, circling like a lion did her pray, grabbing into her hair and puling harshly on it. The scared girl cried out and you reacted by plunging the blade into her back. Warm blood ran down her back, dripping onto the floor and staining the once white carpet underneath her dark.
The dried patches littering the fabric being proof that many had sat in the poor girls position already.
“Pleaseee… let me go… “She whimpered weakly after having calmed down a bit and you snickered.
“No.” you said and stabbed her once more. Her voice had given out, only little noises of pain slipping out at this point.
The injuries she had sustained making her weak, life bleeding out of her with every drop of blood she lost until she was quiet.
“Now that wasn´t much fun, was it? She was dead way to quick!” you complained with a huff. Yeosang laughed quietly.
“You´re too impatient baby. Drag it out more, let them feel their pain. Let them feel how their own blood grows cold as it spills all over the floor underneath them.”
You tilted your head to the side.
“You didn´t let that detective feel his blood grow cold when you shot him in that alley.”
Coming closer you sat in his lap and buried your head in his shoulder.
“I did that to give you a chance to get away, or would you have wanted me to let them catch you?”
You shook your head.
“See, that was a different situation.” Yeosang grabbed your face and forced you to look at him by the chin. “And I do not want you to get us into another one like that ever again… do we understand each other?”
Now in moments like this, even you felt the coldness of his demeanor and a shudder ran down your spine.
“Yes, I’m sorry!”
Yeosang nodded and his serious expression left as quickly as it had come. His hold softened, turning his hand and gently stroked the side of your face.
“Great! Now finish this up and then come join me in bed. It´s late already and listening to our new doll scream made me tired.” He smiled brightly and walked past you towards the door.
Yeosang was an enigma and sometimes his hot and cold behavior through you for a spin. Like right now. But you did as you were told. Cleaning away the blood splattered all over you, the floor and your different tools you had used on the poor, now dead girl held up by the chair.
Your lover, already ready to go to sleep looked like a teddy with his soft and fluffy pjs, hair falling over his eyes and pouting that you took too long for his taste. It threw you for a spin.
“I´m gonna- get ready…” you sighed, feeling his eyes follow you until the bathroom door closed behind you.
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It took everything in Yeosang not to let his eye twitch at your playing around with your food. This was not what he had taught you and quite frankly, it annoyed the fuck out of him that you seemed to be getting sloppy.
Almost bored by the sight of the night, he itched to get the spark of something new back. Something that brought back the thrill of killing. The adrenaline rush that made him feel alive again and gave him something to look forward to upon opening his eyes in the morning.
And try as he might, he couldn´t find that same spark anymore.
He watched your sleeping form by his side. Things had to change and there was only one thing he knew that could achieve that.  Now he just had to wait…
The next day both you and him got rid of the body a little outside of Seoul in a forest barely anyone ever went to. It was the ideal place for your little escapades to drown their evidence in a lake surrounded by trees.
His favorite knife that he liked to carry under his jacket safely hidden out of immediate sight as to not seem suspicious to any wandering hikers that could possibly encounter them.
The trash bag vanished in the deep and Yeosang turned to face you.
A year ago he had seen potential in those eyes of yours. Now he didn´t know what he saw anymore.
“What? Do I have something on my face?” you asked and whipped at your cheek.
No… he did know…
Reaching calmly underneath his jacket he whispered sickeningly sweet, “Run.”
Horrified you froze, not wanting to realize what his words meant. But knowing what laid under the padding of his jacket you knew exactly what was about to happen.
You spun around; dropping everything you were still holding and ran as fast as you could.
Stamina had never been your thing and the freezing winter air hurt your lungs as your legs threatened to give out underneath you but Yeosang was still hot on your heels and you were determined to win this race for, as ironic as this was, your life.
“Oh, come on baby, you know you can´t escaped.” Yeosang chuckled darkly from a few meters away. You couldn´t see him but you knew he was there. Panting you hid behind a thick tree to catch your breath, looking back to check constantly when you gasped in pain all of a sudden.
The knife, previously in Yeosang’s hand was sticking out of your side.
“I´m sorry it had to come to this, but things have changed…” he whispered into your ear before everything went dark.
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wanderlustknightofmagic · 3 days ago
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'Alrighty hun, I sent ya the details via spell, ring 'em up and let's get to work~!' Marcelly nearly cheered as she returned to the main area with Noelle. Delia would give a nod and start writing down everything while also rolling up her sleeves. 'Goodness, ya both went quite in depth in there. Still, I'm excited! It's been a while since I been able to hammer in some enchantments and enhancements~! My hammer's itching for the forge~!' Del would beam, a fire in her eyes. 'Ah! But first,' She turned to Rain.
The knight chuckled a bit and folded his arms in front of his chest. "Alright, alright. Lay it on me. What's the cost, how many materials do you need. Oh, and how long is the wait gonna be?" He'd question while Delia looked at him and then Noelle. She smiled sweetly. For a brief moment, Rain had forgotten he was trying to keep this a secret from Noelle, Marcelly had forgotten to tell her wife not to spill the numbers out, and Delia was just doing her job. 'The price is... Free,' Del would smile as Rain's jaw dropped.
"W-W-Wait what?! Free? Del-del I paid-" He was shushed by a finger to his lips and the woman leaned over the counter, pouting. 'Don't think we done forgot about our vacation home mister! Ya didn't think we were gonna let ya get away with not allowing us to pay ya back! I swear, ya done run off to avoid being praised and rewarded for your good acts! So no! We'll not hear a word about it. If you wanna thank us, you can bring back any rare pelts, ores, and fish scales. Otherwise, it's done! Now go on, both of ya! Shoo shoo! We gotta get to work!' Delia would declare chasing them out of the store and closing the door behind them.
Rain stood next to Noelle and stared back at the shop in disbelief before chuckling a bit. "Heh... That's Del-Del and Mar-Mar for sure... How are you Noelle?" Before she could respond, Delia peeked out of the shop. 'Oh, and Noelle, sweetie? My wife's offer still stands. Please come by whenever during our work. Convince Mr. Disappears to join ya. We can always take a break for something to enjoy a meal with friends,' She'd beam before returning into the shop.
"Rain? I caught some fish and wanted to know if you wanted to cook with me. I know our last little bout was fun, but I think I can best you this time."
"Oooooh fish? Is it native from here or is it from another world? It's fine either way, but I would like to know if this is something you have a little more... familiarity with. After all, I encourage you trying to get an edge up on out-cooking me if you think it'll help," He'd smirk while he'd pull out his hairband to help push his hair back.
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vivievienne · 2 days ago
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Unexpected guest — Chapter 6
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: In which someone comes back...
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: CHRISTMAS TOMORROW!! also happy bday to my beautiful pookie patootie so called luka from alien stage!! made up chapter tmr!!
𝐓𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: none
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 443
𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭
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"It's getting late, Nene. We can't wait for him all the time."
Mizuki put their hand on Nene's shoulder. They looked at her with sad eyes. It's been a day since Rui mysterious call and they still didn't receive even a sign from him. There wasn't any news in The City either. Nene was irritated. She couldn't do anything. Just like this memorable time... What if something happened to him? The helplessness isn't helping her neither. If she only talked with him in the right time...
"Then go ahead, Akiyama", Nene sighed. "I still have some work to get done, so don't worry about me."
"No way, you need some rest more than me."
"I'm not this tired."
"Don't say that, you sure are. Leave it to me for once, Nene." Mizuki smiled, trying to reassure her. Even though, they don't like to work with the papers, they still would do that to give her some rest.
"I don't wanna trouble you, I'll do that...", Nene dismisses quickly.
"I'll do that. It's my work after all."
Nene and Mizuki turned to the source of the familiar chuckle.
He's back...
"Rui!", they said in the same time.
"Didn't I say?", Mizuki smiled victoriously as they looked at Nene. "Nothing can kill this man."
"I'm glad you came back", Nene smiled shyly. "But next time say something before you go out."
Rui rolled his eyes at this.
"Fufu~! Someone was worried about me!", he said jokingly.
"Not worried but you could at least told us where you're going!", Nene said.
"Okay, okay... My bad."
Someone says that meeting is special when you are with people that are important to you.
And Rui must say that these meetings are the most valuable to hold in his heart for ever.
                                         ***
Tsukasa looked through the window at the snowy landscape behind it.
It reminds him of these shows they used to do in the Phoenix Wonderland.
Lovely years, if you ask him.
It also reminds him of the last Christmas he has with them.
He sat next to him and he felt like the happiest man in the whole world.
He remembers the way he sat to the piano. How he looked through the sheets to look for the good one. How they all sang Christmas carols.
Now he shares this with Saki and Emu's family.
Maybe Emu doesn't like to speak about that, but he knows she feels this too.
They don't leave a one empty plate - they leave two.
For Nene and Rui.
Everyone don't know what's going on with that and they don't even try to ask about that neither.
Maybe it's better this way.
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taglist: @your-dazzling-sun, @candy-canes-and-tinsel-chains, @minakolada, @tsukasa-memes, @lyns-art-estate
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daphimpala · 3 days ago
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Misunderstanding
Tonight was Monday Night Raw or as HE called it MonJey Night Raw. Y/N wasn't gonna watch because how could she watch the man she loves flirt with someone else. She knew it was for work also her and Rhea are good friends. She still felt a ping of jealousy when she would see them together. He told her tonight was different he was gonna have a match with his twin brother Jimmy and said he had a surprise for her. She figured he'd do something cute like how his dad would rub his nose to communicate with kids, so she figured why not she hadn't talked to the man, Her Man, for almost a week.
She giggles as Jimmy's music hit watching his entrance singing along with the song. Then the moment she had been dreading, she hears his music hit and automatically rolls her eyes, but a smile is on her face as she watches his run up the ramp to the ring. As the camera zooms in on the ring close to Jey's face she eagerly watches to see what his surprise was. Suddenly the image of Jay flicking his tongue in a fast motion up and down made her blush. She was so flustered she didn't really pay any attention to the fight as her mind began to wonder how long it had been since he used that motion on her.
She didn't even notice what was going on as she began to rub her thighs together letting out quiet moans as she did. She never notice the front door open much less close until she heard his voice rough in her ear.
"Hey baby, did you really miss me that much?" Jey said as he stood behind Y/N.
Y/N yelped in surprise, "how long have you been there," as she suddenly became shy.
"Long enough to know I got your attention back," he said with a growl in her ear, "did you watch the match at all," he said with a smirk.
"Yes, I did," Y/N said as she covered her self up with a blanket.
"Aww baby why so shy, daddies seen you before," Jey says as he sits on the couch right beside Y/N.
"I don't want to do this right now," Y/N said as she tried to move away from Jey.
"C'mon mamas, don't lie to yourself, how wet did daddy make you?" Jey said with a smirk as he grabbed Y/N's thigh.
"Don't kid yourself Jey," Y/N said as she tried to hide the truth.
"Let daddy check for himself because if you lie you know lying ain't a good look on you," Jey said as he moved his hand higher on her thigh as she slowly open her legs wider.;
" I'm sorry," Y/N said suddenly.
"You don't have to apologize baby, it was my fault," Jey said as his hand reached higher and he pulls her into a rough but loving kiss.
Y/N moans into the kiss and starts to try and climb onto Jey's lap when he stops her and breaks the kiss.
"Why'd you stop me don't want this, don't we need this," Y/N said in a whiny voice.
Jey growled then laughed a little "mhm we do baby but, let daddy show you how sorry he really is that little show wasn't for nothing."
Y/N suddenly become nervous she couldn't remember the last time she had felt so small to him because it had been a while since she was so vulnerable to him. It wasn't like they didn't have sex and it had only been a week but, it was always just happened but, he had planned this, he had planned to worship her.
"Daddy," Y/N said as she batted her eyes at him "are you sure you wanna do this."
"Yes baby, tonights all about you first I have a lot of making up to for making you feel like someone else matters to me more then you, my love, my baby, daddy's best girl," Jey said looking at Y/N lovingly.
Y/N blushed "ok daddy, I'm sorry what do I do to be a good girl."
Jey growled and said " lay on the floor and open those beautiful legs up for daddy."
Y/N laid on the floor and opened her legs wide enough for Jey to fit between. She watched him as he got on all fours and crawled to her putting his face where he knew he had to. Jey licked her softly and teasing her causing her to whimper causing him to chuckle.
"Mmm, damn ma thought you said you weren't wet but I can taste you already," Jey said then starting liking her quicker finding his rhythm before sliding a finger in and out at a slow pace causing her to buck forward.
Suddenly he pulled something out of his pocket and put it on her bud as he watched her bite her lip trying to stay quiet. "C'mon ma, let go this is just the beginning," Jey said as he suddenly stopped with the toy and went back to using his tongue.
As Y/N started to feel the familiar knot in her stomach causing her to involuntary wrapping her thighs around his head causing Jey to moan into her.
"Mmm daddy I'm so close," Y/N moaned out as she started grinding against Jey's face.
Suddenly, Y/N loosens her grip on Jey but he didn't stop his assault on her causing her to try, and push him away which only made him go rougher.
Jey suddenly stopped and Y/N took a deep breath thinking he was done when he smirked at her.
"Be a good girl for daddy," Jey said as he kissed her hard and fast then chokes her slightly as he begins to rub her bud with force causing her to try and get away from him causing him to slap her most sensitive area hard. "na none of dat running away shit got it."
All Y/N could do was nod. "Daddy, please stop I feel like I'm gonna pee," Y/N said nervously.
"Na ma that ain't what this is, let go daddy's got you," Jey said continuing his pace.
Y/N couldn't hold back anymore and on Jey's command to let go she starts to see stars as she moans out Jey's name.
Coming down from her orgasm high she looks at Jey who is all smiles causing her to smile back. Suddenly she notices his shirt wet and starts to apologizing like crazy.
"Oh my god baby I'm so sorry," Y/N said feeling embarrassed.
Jey feeling bad for her self consciousness pulls her into a hug.
"Shh baby shh, it's ok you did so good for me, made me proud, you stay here I'll go run a bath for us then come get you, I'll also clean up the mess," Jey said as he covered her up kissing her forehead before disappearing to the restroom.
Y/N laid there on the floor trying to wrap her head around what just happened because there was only one other time she felt like this. She suddenly blushed as she remembered the only other time this happened was when Jey became jealous at a club when Y/N and Jimmy were talking and he was too close to his girl. Jey was very jealous when it came to Y/N and Jimmy because everyone said they would be better together. Jimmy on the other hand believed her and Jey were the better couple but, he did worry about them especially since sometimes Jey would get jealous over the smallest things with her because he cares about her so much.
Y/N was pulled out of her thoughts as Jey uncovered her and lifted her up.
"Hey mama, where's your head at," Jey said with a slight giggle as he kissed her head.
"Just feel bad I ruined your shirt," Y/N said trying to lie which Jey knew he always knew when she would lie.
"Whatchu talking bout baby, you made daddy proud, haven't made you squirt like that in a long time, its been too long honestly," Jey said in a matter a fact tone.
"Baby, I'm sorry for overreacting I really am,"Y/N said in a tired tone.
"Like I said it was my fault for not doing my duty and taking care of my lady," Jey said as he kissed her tenderly as they reached the shower. "Also you are still daddy's best girl and only girl."
As he helped her into the tub Jey's phone rang and Y/N nodded so he went to answer it.
"What's up uce, yeah no no not yet was just about to, yeah yeah I know, just gives us a few hours to get ready," Jey said as he winked at Y/N. " Hold up, whatchu mean we don't got to go, ok ok, I'll let you know what she says, deuces uces," Jey added before he hung up the phone and enter the tub.
"How do you feel about a life on the road mamas," Jey asked as he kissed Y/N on the head as he puller her into his arms.
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humanmorph · 2 years ago
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Fero / Panther
i made this as a sort of test to try out if the guide i found actually worked (it does!). pretty happy with the result, so i may just make another one.
(i also took some still pictures of the drawings)
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cute-little-fly · 24 minutes ago
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This is what I think about the tumblr critical communities. I have seen good comments that come from good places, and is good to be critical about things you like so creators can put attention to it and improve. Criticism has a good side but also a bad one.
But criticism needs to be more objective. Try to understand what was meant, consider all the elements in the scenes and dialogues with the overarching story and at the end see what could have being done better and what was done good. List what did it fail? What did it worked? Why? This is the usual kind of criticism I have seen from movie analists, and how I think those should be. We will always disagree at some points, but at least try to see more.
But most criticisms here and in other webs are like: this is bad because it should be this way or this other way. Because it should have ended like this or that. Then, you will see somebody else comment the entire opposite. There is no real objectivity or deep analysis most of the times. Or they villanize characters.
Like, you are seeing Jynx arc bad because you don’t detach to how you think should have been. So, no wonder why you don’t understand the one being shown in the series. Is true that some themes in the series were left out and even softened, but we need to accept it. Is true Zaun and Piltover could have had a better resolution, and is kinda bad that they were in the focus in season 1 and that season 2 couldn’t make much place for them. Is true some arcs that the one of Mel could have been shorter. Some other scenes or desitions are also less thought. But even with all of that Arcane is still GOOD. For me this is what they fail to see. Arcane ending was anticlimactic and rushed in some parts, but if you consider the series overall and what it says and happened, is clearly good and super worth the watch.
We can’t do nothing about the fact that the writers room went from 13 people to 3 people. I don’t think the 3 people left are bad writers, but, the work of 13 people cannot be replaced by 3 people. The level of details and everything of course will be different because each person contributes with their best skill. Season 1 had a lot more details and things to analyze because of how many good writers they had.
I also hoped we were going to see a revolution Jynx and that she may redeem herself that way when Do you wanna come play was released. But it ended being a bummer and not happening that, and I am actually… fine? Amanda said that ending for the sisters was intended since the very beginning. Also, for me it makes sense to what we have seen of them. They were never revolutionaries but because of who they are they were always in the middle of the conflict.
So yeah… I think is a combination of all the headcanons people had after season 1 not really being intended by the show runners, that rubbing people the wrong way, and also some things being teased to misdirect made the series look bad because how few time there is for everything and those things teased keep the people hoping for certain things to happened.
Of course, I think some of those things people headcanoned really appeared to be what the series was going to be, and is a possibility that they changed those plans, or the writers in charge of that were the ones fired and the ones left didn’t knew how to do that properly with that short time…
Buuut, at the end, my point is… we should cherish what we have, the good, talk about what we could have had in a constructive way (not saying how the show was ruined and super bad, because you are shoving the amazing things under a rug) and how they should try to balance better the thematic elements for the next shows (and maybe plan better the level of production and see that having more writers is important and have a better team communication); without falling into only seeing the negative and ignore All the amazing things this series has. Even with its imperfections…
I saw a lot the critique of a writer that saw both the good and bad things this season had. He actually criticized mostly act III and how the sisters lost relevance being the ones more important at the beginning. Which is a very valid one. Arcane seen overall as one single thing is an amazing series. Is one of my highlights of 2024.
Yes I am very emotionally invested in Arcane, yes I do draw real life inspiration from it, yes my favorite character is based on who I relate to the most, but you know what I DON'T do? I don't equate the story as a complete mirror to reality. I don't think it's bad to tell stories with unhappy endings. I don't think it's bad to have problematic characters. I don't think it's bad to LIKE problematic characters. I can still separate fiction from reality. And I think it's great practice to have morally ambiguous stories so that we can have actual conversations about moral ambiguity outside of the sphere of real life.
Art is a great conduit to talk about real life issues. AND it's a great way to look closer at dark topics without drawing from real life situations. It is BOTH.
True critique knows the distinction and when to bounce between the two.
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llitchilitchi · 9 months ago
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I get hating certain political systems and trying to abolish totalitarian regimes but at the same time many of them are so interwoven with our history and society they have become tropes and when I consume media with a setting where the monarchy is absolute and revered then I am playing my part and sucking that princeling off
#litchi.txt#there are games that address this kinda stuff! and thats good! its good that there are games talking about how this is bad!#but at the same time when I go into a game knowing I will be the prince's sword and shield I dont expect the game to be anti-monarchy#despite having pretty strong opinions on many a thing I tend to put most of them away the moment I engage with media#imperialism bad. monarchy bad. doesnt mean I cant enjoy roleplaying in a game where I help these systems#because guess what its fictional and not everything needs to be a strong statement about politics#sometimes we just... wanna vibe with a setting#I am so very thoroughly exhausted from the politics in this country and where things are going I just kinda need that no brainer gameplay#even if it means working as the secret police for an emperor#even if it means replacing one dictator with another#because its still a game#a lot of people talk about imperialism-monarchy-colonialism with these things because they are a big issue even today#and they are important to talk about!! in real world!!#but I rarely see people be this upset about like religion etc which like. thats also a massive problem.#idk Im just tired of trying to look at fanart of all my fantasy medieval games and people being upset that the games#are not super anti-monarchy despite the marketing being literally 'you are the emperor's bestie. you help him out and go on a quest.'#'your quest is to manipulate local government to support the emperor and do his bidding'#like idk how That is supposed to be a game that addresses it properly#and maybe it does but ig since the MC doesnt look at the player and go REMEMBER KIDS! THIS IS EVIL AND BAD AND WHY MONARCHY SUCKS#it doesnt count??? I guess???
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vampstel · 26 days ago
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I love making custom decals for RH <3
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desperate-daemon-days · 2 days ago
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Excellent choice, the slash dash build is generally considered the more 'meta' one for lvlcap but also I dont care personally and like katanas and laser swords Read more bc this is gonna be long AND unstructured. Like, really fucking long
So excalibur-ESPECIALLY his exalted blade builds-struggle a lot wherein you have to sacrifice either a large chunk of damage or a large chunk of survivability and i swear all the loud dubstep intro youtubers kinda forget about that. You'll quickly find yourself getting frustrated you cant just barely eke out one or the other, but WHATEVER (Also apologies for shitty formatting)
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This is my general purpose build for umbra himself specifically leaning into his exalted blade, though it should be noted you can definitely swap things out depending on what you want from him. In this case, i like red crits, so wrathful advance-it makes chromatic blade crit, and combined with 747% status chance from the augment thats a lotta damage. That being said, i am aware not everyone skill issues like me into the sun, so i'll be providing alternatives depending on your tastes and how you wanna flavour your sword frame. Treat this more as a pick and choose, rather than a bible for what to do always. My mods are selected based on my playstyle and skill lvl, and it works into high SP lvls, but everyone is different. Theres some things that i could update looking at this-but admittedly, i havent touched it in a little while. This particular build is on the squishier side, and has some quirks born from problems i ran into with general day to day play.
Disclaimer; i am not a uber stronk gamar who never gets hit by anything. For such builds there are ten billion youtube videos. Don't care for the explanation? Easy summary of my build only; 2 Umbrals + brief/rolling + reaper + healing return = dual health/shield tanking. Combo with Guardian for shield refresh. Arcane fury for raw damage. Archon flow with cold emissive chromatic blade for energy gen, + corrosive on blade for armour strip. Lean into crit chance/damage/raw damage/faction if not lazy. Status chance covered by Chromatic blade.
Companion is dethcube with tenacious bond + vulklok to hit crit threshold. Energy generator + guardian for orbs and shield. other mods to taste, synth deconstruct good for healing + shard equilibrium. Madurai for ability strength or Naramon for combo decay reduction. Even vazarin for survivability isnt bad. Up to taste/needs, Subsume wrathful over 2 for crit chance.
Shards are
-2 amber tauforged (Energy orb efficiency-can replace one with casting speed, could get rid of other one for more melee crit damage but wouldn't recommend it) -2 Violet tauforged (one equilibrium style, other melee crit damage) -1 Azure tauforged (for raw health, but can replace with more melee crit damage easily. im just scared a lot) Keep reading if you want reasonings/alternatives!
Base frame mods/Arcanes
In terms of his survival, you can either lean heavily into health tanking if you wanna do gloom (in which case, replace brief respite with growing power, or even corrosive projection if you dont run smth else for armour strip like corrosive. Adaptation is still not worth it though over rolling, bc he has zero innate DR and no status cleanse), or do your conventional pure shield tanking with your 1/2/3 being your shield refresh button with brief respite/rolling guard/, and replace reaper with smth like aegis, or even a damage/ability arcane like molt augmented. Or you can mix it up, like I do, since i supplement my shields with my drone (i'll get to that in a minute) and use a single tauforged blue for base health.
Either way, he has nothing for survival, and you CANNOT do invis based survival bc exalted blade breaks shade/huras, you'll be running around too much for quiver to be consistent (unless you like doing that silly arrow trick in the sentinel) and....well, you're welcome to try and consistently headshot with a sword. Invuln based survival is a slash dash only, im afraid. If you do slash dash, invis through companion is your go-to, with rolling in the event your little dude dies. (I like not clenching my ass even during basic missions, and I like scaling beyond basic lvl 400 stuff so) Raw stat-wise, you obviously want to run duration + strength. Efficiency is the drop stat here bc going negative range reaaaally sucks for furious javelin, and also affects your 1, which in this build is basically rolling guard...2! As mentioned, you become fully invulnerable, so if your rolling guard is down you can ride out a status effect with it, or if you find yourself low health etc. The 'duration' is dependent on how many enemies you chain to-which is affected by range. Hence, low efficiency, higher duration to compensate. It wont do as much damage bc you'll be using your 4 as its stat determiner, but it should still be decent. High strength is self explanatory. (It should be noted that even if you slash dash into nothing, you'll still get a brief window of invulnerability. No shame in hurtling yourself down a corridor with it)
Arcane wise, as expected on a melee build, fury is basically compulsory for that big damage spike. You could run avenger, but it won't be the most consistent since ideally you're either shield gate invulnerable or slowing shit down with gloom to prevent getting hit mostly entirely. Arcane strike is another alternative, if you want to not need to slot any attack speed mods at all. As for the other slot-basically, either run reaper if you want hp regen, or aegis if you reaaaally want to commit to shields. Or, if you're confident in your rolling skills, slot on more ability strength/duration/melee boosting arcanes. Hell, energize is a good option, but i hate recommending it bc i still dont have it maxed :,D I am not that confident in my shield tanking (ESPECIALLY since i used to mostly do endurance runs against infested pre toxin/disruptor nerf), so hence my choice. No matter what you do, your biggest enemy will remain nullifiers and toxin eximus. Under absolutely NO CIRCUMSTANCES can you allow yourself to be caught with no energy/unable to cast, so treat him like a squishy caster frame, not a tanky melee frame.
NOTE: You can use normal primed flow. You want base energy for violet shard threshold (and energy ofc), but specifically archon flow is there because exalted weapons count as ability kills, which we'll be touching on in a sec.
Augments
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We love chroma jank Furious javelin is one of those mods which reaally should be base functionality, because Radial javelin does so little damage its nonexistent. It's a lot better than it seems, because the damage multiplier basically acts like a melee only pre-change eclipse without the lighting fuckery. Sticking it in a large group, with decent ability strength you can easily reach several hundred %. That being said, there are some build variations without this, with javelin being subsumed for something else and purely leaning on the raw weapon damage instead. (Usually status DOT based blade builds are the ones that do this, which...i don't like status that much. I am biased bc status builds fall apart real fast when it comes to single target damage against stuff like acolytes/necramechs etc. Violence is terrifying and your goal is not to explode to them.) There is a sort of line-of-sight mech, but its a bit wonky-but generally, range = more enemies hit. Roll your way into a crowd and hit it. Chromatic blade is basically compulsory for any exalted blade build. It means we dont need to build any status chance on the weapon itself, and can commit to other multipliers. As for the status on the blade...well, it depends, AGAIN, on taste. I am forever afraid of no energy, so I run cold; this allows me to use archon flow for free orbs, with corrosive modded onto the weapon. You could also do electricity for corrosive, or heat for viral/heat (or heat/corrosive, your taste). Archon continuity also works, if you wanna only rock pure toxin. The world is your oyster! Just keep in mind the element does combine, but it'll prioritize what's on the blade itself.
Exalted Blade
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Copy pasting the picture so you dont need to scroll lol
If i had made this build post galvanised mods, I would use them over sac steel. This is because Wrathful advance already covers my crit needs, so more raw crit damage would be better. Likewise, replacing gladiator might with galvanised elementalist or a faction mod may be better, and I would swap berserker fury with magnetic rush.
The reason why I am using 'may' and 'might' here is because it really, really isnt needed.
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lvl 205 steel path corrupted gunners with basically 0 combo explode violently all the same. If you have those new mods, put them on! Or don't. Just treat it as you would any other crit based melee. Just keep in mind chromatic gets rid of the slash damage that comes with exalted's stats. Your damage modding does matter more if you decide to go for a more tanky build with gloom or eclipse, though.
What tennokai you use also is really up to taste, but its important you have it, so you can get free wrathful procs if you're using wrathful advance, or well...free heavies in general.
Companion
Because exalted is a channel, regen based energy sources do not work at all. So, you'll need orbs. Archon flow in my experience is not enough, even with all the shards i have slotted, so here comes dethcube to save the day.
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Keep in mind the only really 'compulsory' mods are tenacious bond (for crit damage), Energy generator and Guardian. Everything else is to taste; but duplex bond is even more energy, momentous bond helps with damage + uptime, and everything else is general utility or survivability. Any vulklok build with a crit mod on it should push you over the 50% required.
Focus school
Really, this one is just whatever is comfy for you. Zenurik is always nice for the starting energy + ability strength from hardened wellspring, Madurai is...madurai, and Naramon is always nice for anything involving melees. Vazarin is solid for keeping you alive as usual, and Unairu helps with armour strip. I use zenurik bc again, im always shrieking about energy, but Madurai is best.
Subsumes I use wrathful because red crit = satisfying damage, and I love nuke or die builds. However! You can also run Roar or Xata's or Nourish if you wanna buff your damage in other ways (nourish in particular solves energy problems real well so it was very tempting). IRC Wrathful maths out to be the highest multiplier for raw damage, tho. Gloom or Eclipse are also very solid defensive options (as expected), but keep in mind you'll be losing a modifier for damage. There are prolly other funny options like tempest barrage for corrosive/viral if you wanna run the augment, or fuckin. Reave? Actually that would be a funny one now that i think about it but these are my solid picks. Gloom is safe. Gloom is comfy. Everyone puts gloom on everything for a reason. Same with eclipse. But personally, I think warframe is most enjoyed when walking on the edge of an explosion you yourself are generating.
As for what to subsume over, your 2 or 1 are my recommendations. Again, blind does nothing against eximus or overguarded enemies, so imo its the weakest of the kit if you're using javelin aug, whereas 1 can still be used as a consistent survival tool. If not using FJ, get rid of javelin obviously lol
Shards
Now, the 'optimal' sharding would probably be something like 4 violet tauforged for melee crit damage, 1 for casting. But in anything that has lower enemy density/has infested, you'll probably find yourself struggling a little. I like to make my builds as general purpose as possible; aka not only comfortably playable in survival sp missions. Hence, energy efficiency + equilibrium lite.
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Energy effectiveness affects how much is recovered from the equilibrium as well, and we cant really fit the base mod on because Excal is already a 2 augment warframe with the only survivability coming from mods, so we're already strapped for space horrifically so. You could replace the equi shard with another crit damage one, though. I dont run casting bc i dont personally feel the need for it (the only thing with real casting delay is your 3, which isn't used too frequently) As for the azure shard, Reaper is hp% recovered, so it gives more wiggle room. Not needed at all, but again, i mod for comfort in a wide variety of missions, and this is what I personally find comfortable.
Realistically, if you arent a coward like me, smth like 1 casting, 1 energy orb effectiveness and 3 melee crit damage shards is more than enough. You could also experiment with the elemental shards; remember, exalted blade is considered an ability AND melee.
Anything else?
For weapons, bring at least one gun-or even melee!-that can gun down an acolyte by itself. I know that defeats the purpose somewhat, but violence is the menace of every casting frame everywhere, and even if your weapons can oneshot, nothing can account for shitty spawns. JUST IN CASE. JUST IN CASE!
Unfortunately, you cannot stat-stick exalted blade with gladiator mods. This is partially why desert wind is so much better than exalted. Any gladiator mods you wanna use? gotta be on it.
yes i did have to forma away umbral polarities. yes it does feel treasonous.
No, this build does not fare exceptionally well against rogue necramechs or archons or anything with that style of damage attenuation. Unfortunately, theres nothing in excal's kit that can bypass that. Not even slash dash. In fact slash dash builds are worse for that, as it cannot properly target them, and you'll burn through energy spamming it on one target.
If the sentience of umbra/disabling of buffs when going into operator pisses you off, dont forget the exilus augment is available. I personally dont really care, so i just slapped psf in there bc its a crutch at this point lmao
if you want the same experience as excalibur with half the stress and thrice the damage, just play baruuk. But where's the fun in that?
Well now that I’ve asked arthur out can someone please tell me how to make excalibur umbra good
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itsalwaysdark · 18 days ago
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and when i live on my own ill be able to decorate like real life decorate ive never gotten to do that in real life b4
#like im not barred from doing it Nd i do like. a little bit kind of but its like. Idk my entire life is a very transient thing and im rly#rly rly not used to being in one place for a long time so as a kid we never rly decorated ever#and like obv i wont be Owning a house or anything like that so itll still have to be moveable but i can like. but furniture that i like and#stuff... ive never gotten to do that b4 even in um. wa. i didnt rly get to do any of the decorating even when i was in the actual house bc#him and the roommates umm. did all that. Okay well now ive sort of freaked it by making myself think of that so im going to go stare#longingly at the floorplan i did#bc umm. well ideally id like to move into one of the apartments thats right across the way bc theres a couple of apt buildings like right#there 5 min walk tops and one of the places Has an open one but no floorplan#i wont be movjng out for ages i just wanted to look at floorplans yk#but like i said no floorplans BUT theres one a bit further away not rly walkable bc its umm#youd have to walk on the interstate and stuff and um. no sidewalk and everything but theeeeeeeeee thing had a floorplan#still very close by like 2 min drive but yk. but i still did my little mockup floorplan with that apartment instead#i want it to be closeby so everybody can come visit and so that i dont die and explode . i dont rly want to continue living in this town#4ever once km like Normal and have savings and ive got everything worked out i wanna maybe move to chicago or something since il is better#for the transgenderisms. + ive always wanted to try living in a big city at least once and i think itd be awesome#but thats Ages and ages away like maybe 5 years depending on how good i am. weeee will see if 5 years in the future is like on the table 4#me LOLLLL 24 year old connor seems rly crazy to imagine. but anyways....#but itll be nice to move out and still be in town bc then i can have the same job yk . and maybe ill know how to drive atp and i can like .#buy a car ..or something . if i do know how to drive#which i probably should since this town very car dependent and i dont want my mom to have to drive me to work esp if umm. i dont live with#them ... im just rly rly rly rly rly fucking scared of driving but i know also in my heart that when i do know how to drive the bond between#me and that car will be crazyyyy like. idk how many of you followed me last year but you may remember my insane bond with angel my cart from#work and there was a lot gokng on woth that <- was Very delusional at the time and i was convinced that she was a sentient thing and had the#power to make my life better or worse if i upset her so i said good morning and goodnight to her every single day so that i could have a#good day . looking back on it probably was something to be concerned abt but whatever.... she is still my best friend and i do miss her#deeply#her bathtub and heater were my besttt friends when i was in wa LOL. i was quite unwell#bathtub is still in my room tho yayyy. heater lives with lamp now and angel is of course at my old job....#bathtub currently is holding a project i gave up on. everyone say thank.you bathtub im looking at her right now
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arolesbianism · 3 months ago
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Thinking abt Sif Odile duo looping au again and I wanna be able to plot everything out more coherently but act 5 eternally looms overhead and boy I do not wanna look up
#rat rambles#stars posting#like I have a vague idea of some of the like themes I imagine being present late game but it doesnt change the fact that act 5 isnt very#duo looper au friendly especially in this case with most of the ideas I have#I rly want it to be both a breaking point for them as individuals and a breaking point for their relationship but idk how to go about that#fully taking the rest of the party into account especially since Im not even sure if I wanna give odile her own friendquests#like I Could but I also think it'd be fun for many reasons to not#and even if I Did itd be hard to justify having both be able to happen and go wrong in one loop#and theres not rly a good solution to that I think so my best bet is probably to just leave odile friendquestless#but Id rly like to still have odile quarrel with the rest of the party in a significant way#idk maybe it can be the scene where sif comes back to the lighthouse or smth?#like he comes back and odile just completely lashes out at him or smth and the others get rly upset with her#but then theres also the whole walk through the house that I have to figure out and Im also not set on how that should go#maybe it can be like reality almost splitting as they both try to use timecraft at the same time?#not sure how Id go about portraying that in story though since the rest of the party cant rly experience that I think#Im sure theres some way you could pull that off tho Im just too tired to have any good ideas atm#and then the biggest bastard comes in. mal moments.#like I cant just put them both there! that's not how that works!#and I dont wanna just leave them mostly vanilla thats boringgggg#but Id probably have to. alas.#afterwards is also a bit fuzzy but I have rhe general idea down#me and the bestie when we both made the same wish but dont know that and have both been falling into a spiral over it#(we dont even realize that the part of the wish that was the exact same was the core of the wish)#(we both just thought that we accidentally trapped the other with us in this hell)#(we also have been actively getting worse at communicating for months now so by the time the wishcraft stuff came up we were both deep in#the no feelings talky talk zone)#(we probably should have known smth was up when everyone started consistently thinking that we had a fight every loop)#(maybe we did but we just didnt want to admit they were right)#god I wish I was more confident with writing odile dialogue I wanna draw scenes from this au so bad#it doesnt help that I got too comfortable being into a media that had like 3 fans and now ppl might actually look at what I create
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phagodyke · 5 months ago
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weekend melancholy is starting to kick in >~<
#im gonna go and do my food shop etc to keep myself busy and hopefully my 2nd meds will kick in and we'll be able to handle it together#i think i kind of do this so regularly bc my brain is just processing everything bc i dont rly have time during the week#all cool tho im doing good overall def on the up n i feel way more capable of coping emotionally which is nice. i <3 meds#also.. possibly settling on the idea that i might be agender. very tentatively. lots of experiences n thoughts coming together rn#ive been reacting in unexpected ways to a lot of gendered shit atm which has made me reconsider the way i think abt myself#but very difficult to articulate it to myself let alone anyone else. so ive been sitting with it for now until it precipitates#gender stuff has never rly affected me much or ive never been in a place to explore it which is why i havent thought abt it super hard#but im not the sort of person who needs a lot of internal exploration to figure out my identity like im v self aware tbh#and while im wildly indecisive abt most things in my life for some reason i never have been abt stuff like this. i learned abt lesbianism#like idk 9 years ago-ish and straight away was like yeah that makes sense for me. never looked back since#n similarly ive experienced forms of gender dysphoria before n just immediately dealt with it symptomatically n moved on#its never been smth to agonise abt for me like i know what makes me comfortable in my skin so theres no question abt doing it#and ik im privileged to be able to do that. and also it helps that gender for me is mostly divorced from external perceptions#+ that im v autistic so social pressures dont stick to me very well. i mean yeah i was bullied for it as a kid but i was stubborn asf#so yeah from the moment i realised i was genuinely uncomfortable/upset abt it earlier this week i was like okay. lets try this instead#its given me pretty instant relief from any distress i was feeling so far which is nice. rare respite from one of my torture labyrinths#just testing out internally whether it frames things more clearly n makes me feel more myself/at peace before i choose to stick w the idea#but not gonna do a whole coming out fanfare either way. dont think i wanna change how ppl interact w me + im still a dyke#so i dont consider it relevant to anyone else unless they share a similar understanding of gender to me. or if we're v close#ill prolly broach it w other trans friends eventually bc insert philosophers talking image. but to everyone else its business as usual#happy to play my cis-sona at work. + w new queer ppl i meet ive been introducing myself recently w mirrored pronouns instead of any/all#and i think i prefer that. virtually indistinguishable but theres smth nice abt inviting ppl to recognise me the way they do themselves#like translating + localising a non-gendered language into a gendered one... simplifying decisions abt how to perceive me#and ofc ppl are still gonna perceive me however but idc much unless we're actually friends. the rest is all a performance anyway#doubtful anyone on here ever has reason to refer to me but if u do for some reason... im freeloading off ur pronouns now btw <3#but yeahhh. much 2 think abt. i need to read more alien/ai sci fi.. non-human sentience has been such a comforting concept lately#but yea tldr i woke up one morning this week like damn im prolly agender but i have a full time job to go to rn so idc abt that#.diaries#okkkk my dex is kicking in im no longer on the verge of tears lets go get these groceries wooohoooo
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seilon · 5 months ago
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really evil that the universe decided I wouldn’t like eating fish of all things. there’s so few big categories of food i dislike and im like. why did it have to be that one. why couldn’t i just not like. idk. celery or something. it’s so unfair
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raeathnos · 10 months ago
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#yall I finally got some good fucking news#my grandma’s been in the hospital and was doing very bad and like#we thought the end was near#she improved and got discharged#things still aren’t great but it’s (hopefully) looking more like she has weeks or maybe even months rather than just a handful of days#she’s almost 92 and has late stage Alzheimer’s and the flu is what put her in the hospital but she beat it#yesterday was very stressful#my parents/uncles were all being incredibly vague and my cousins were reaching out for info from me since I’m the only local grandchild#trying to figure out if people several hours away need to drop everything and try to make it here to say goodbye while at work was uh#it was something#I had an emotional break down in the bathroom which was fun#my parents who normally use me as a punching bad were doing it to an even more extreme degree#they still are technically; I get it’s my dad’s mom and he’s hurting more but she’s my grandma and like#the whole way they’ve been treating is just… it broke something in me#relieved she’s okay for now but having to grapple with the fact that this is how they will treat me when it is her time is something#I am an frazzled emotional wreck from everything but she’s okay and that’s what matters in the end#I also had a video interview this afternoon which like#absolutely wild state of mind to be in to do an interview but it’s with a really good company so I didn’t want to cancel#guys#I got a second in person interview!#it pays good and it’s close by and the only thing I don’t like is that it’s second shift#but they said if I get the job I’ll eventually get the opportunity to switch to first shift so like#fingers crossed the next interview goes well#anyways all good news except for my parents being fucking assholes but#I am out of energy emotionally mentally and physically#was trying to keep myself together till the interview and now that it’s over I’m just very done#my anxiety is shot my brain’s checked out and all I wanna do is sleep#I was supposed to be off tomorrow but work called me in and I took the shift cause I need money#I think there is a very good chance that I crash very hard after work tomorrow#which fine
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vynegar · 11 months ago
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14% of the way through....
#ok i can do like half an hour each day and then i'll finish on the weekend. good pace. we can do this#hopefully tomorrow i can do some reading at work. LMAO.#honestly my bottleneck (aside from my own focus/free time) is the rate at which people upload the main story recordings to youtube#youtube channel polar artem u are my hero. i love you. i hope you have a good day 366x this year#tot liveblog#wow i should translate something again... maybe i've improved (wishful thinking)#but it really has been a while and there are some things i said i would translate that i never did. lol#probably not a card tho (mainly since i haven't been reading the recent cards). maybe an extra thing like interview. i'll probably look for#some fan analyses since we got a main story chapter. idk tho i kinda wanna chew over word choice again. then again i get to be a bit looser#when translating discussion posts....#EDIT 2/12: post is still happening just. it takes so much focus to read two things at the same time aldsjfklsjlaskej#so much more tempting to read other VNs where i'm like. just reading normally. and not also trying to keep track of a plot spanning mult ye#years while simultaneously trying to consider the implications for characterization in the context of 2.5 years' worth of interaction#it's fine my relationship with tot content is totally normal and healthy and i absolutely do this voluntarily. for Fun#ok but DEF it'll be up by next weekend promise (bc i need to distract myself before dessert de otomate)
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