#i am this close to asking for presc sleep meds but i wanna try getting amphetamines first to see if it helps me with daily tasks........... | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

piratebay · 5 days ago

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my therapist asking if i'd tried anything other than meds drugs and/or alcohol to sleep before. like bruh. the list is long. the nighttime ritual i had as a child worked most of the time but since then nothing really has been that effective. also probably because i haven't been able to form any routine on my own without outside reinforcement. ever. much less one that works in the long term. :smiles beautifully:

#like so far lamotritine + lithium is working but the restlessness and inability to find structure in anything is nailing me in the nuts #i guess i still got depressed and angry so i lapsed in meds and cycled back to hypomania #and now my sleep cycle is starting to get harder to do (?) weird to conceptualize that as something i even NEED to do much less WANT to lol #i am this close to asking for presc sleep meds but i wanna try getting amphetamines first to see if it helps me with daily tasks...........#he thinks i was depressed last monrh but i didnt see it!!! it wasnt nearly as bad as its been sooooo. idk also antidepressents scare me.sigh #i would love to make a list right now.#404 not found #I SPELLED LAMOTRIGINE WRONG. you get me you get my point. it's just a word. it's too long anyway #i wasn't over sleeping no diet changes and no mental slowdown just the typical thought issues and normal mood fluctuations.#<- which i guess is still too fucking much for normal ppl lmfao. jfc.#but i kind of know i'm in A State of Something right now #cause a friend came over and i word saladed everywhere and i'm not sleeping well am studying 3 different subjects playing two video games #binge watched 5 tv shows (oops) and cooked a bunch yesterday even though i've mainly just been drinking water and tea :)))))))#oh AND i overcommitted. and haven't been out of the house in a week. and am just now starting to communicate again.#<- that wasn't just a Wall of Ideas.#hmn think of me fondly tomorrow i will be Driving and staying overnight somewhere #which. driving shouldn't be too hard if i'm dosed LMAO #but yes first friend sleep over since julyyyy yikes let's hope we're still friends and not triggered by the end of it fucking hellllllll #*don't be a bitch don't be a bitch don't be a bitch don't be a bitch*#<- my mantra #omg i wanna code.#I've been on mobile for a while i forgot iff my tags look good on there

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