#not that I cant just do both but I wanna see if I can think of any alternatives
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this is my first time hearing of this so i dont know if theres like some other context related to this im missing (or if this message just happened out of the blue) but i dont really wanna know either way.
^^^ but all points in this are valid (the reblogged post i mean)
i would like to at least hold out hope that nothing bad happened until it is confirmed (do not ask them what happened, im sure its stressful as it is) but that is not to say that i invalidate the people who spoke up because im sure they have their reasons too but we do not know what happened and we cannot know what (again do not ask what, we are not entitled to that information)
i want to believe in both sides. i don't want to end up being the kind of person who doesn't believe in a victim or is against a person who didn't actually do anything wrong, so im going to be patient and if nothing ever gets said about it thats fine too
do not speculate. what comes out of it could be aiming pitchforks at someone who didn't do what you think they did, or bringing out someone's trauma over something all over again because you want to know or you think oh maybe this could be why so and so happened
this is my own opinion, but id say to withhold any judgment and thought you might have on this until we get a confirmation. this is not to say that you can do whatever you want with this information after, because that is not true at all.
feeling uncomfortable regarding it is valid, im not saying you cant have your own opinions over it, id just prefer it if people could treat this sensitively, and with respect for the other members to not try to find out more then what has been shared, nor overly target people over something you do not have confirmation over
im sorry as ive been repeating points a lot, but ive seen people acting really disrespectfully to all the people involved in something similar to this because they want to know, but they do it with zero regard for the person on the other side of the screen
(this is more referring to people asking those who were friends to that person about it but it was a really bad situation overall, and they were attacking them when they didn't get a response out fast enough without considering that they'd just learned that someone they cared about was a terrible person and needed time to process that. now in this case its not fully confirmed but i really dont want to see that happen again.)
^ updating my response above, as there is a doc with information about what happened which i noticed in one of the comments on the original post. i just wasnt sure if something really bad happened considering the vague statement in the twitter post but considering its been spoken out now of what happened i can safely conclude that hes probably not innocent (understatement). (again, please do not hound the victims nor the hermits on information about this)
i just didnt wanna assume anything. this isnt to say that i didnt trust in what evidence they saw that made them conclude that the accusations were credible, it was just worded in a way that sounded very vague, and as a person who would like to see the goodness in everyone i tend to stay in denial about these kinds of things because i want to believe that they are not that kind of person, at the very least until its either admitted by the guilty party, or theres a credible statement from the victim
also it might feel like im understating things with how i describe them, thats my bad. i usually describe things in swear words but considering hermitcraft has a mainly young audience im trying not to and it also feels a little inappropriate over a serious topic. but it means i default to referring to something as 'bad' or 'not so good' which can come off as like im trying to make it seem not as bad as it actually is which isn't true at all. im just trying to be really careful about how i word things or what i say considering this is a serious topic but it means im not sure how to describe it so i end up going with what i default to outside of swears.
um. also please dont go asking for proof from the people affected nor the hermits cause i really dont think its appropriate and could lead to triggering them further. its also very personal.
i emphasize my point as a person who has also gone through bad things, and trying to look back through those old messages were really triggering and it was just not a good time. i imagine it was rough enough to get screenshots of what they did get so please leave it alone. they went through the trouble of sharing it in public, you are not entitled to more
and i get it might be rough to trust CCs after having your trust broken with one being revealed to be a bad person but PLEASE do not accuse other CCs of the same behavior. they are just as shaken as you that someone they thought they knew could be like that. please leave them alone, thank you.
PLEASE KEEP THIS IN MIND:
we, as fans, do not have a right to private information. anything shared with us on this is a privilege. please do not abuse it. the cc's could shut down and never talk about it if we overwhelm them.
also, please keep in mind that ONE HERMIT and THE ENTIRETY OF HERMITCRAFT are NOT THE SAME THING. the entire fandom is not 'ruined' or 'completely unsafe' because of the actions of one person.
PLEASE DO NOT ASSUME THAT THE OTHER HERMITS KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT WHATEVER'S GOING ON WITH ISKALL. this is not some big conspiracy, it's the consequences of one person's actions. they weren't hiding this from us, that's not how hermitcraft works, they truly didn't know. they probably knew as much as us about this, so making it an 'us against them' situation is immature and shortsighted.
ALSO, I AM BEGGING EVERYONE TO PLEASE NOT SENSATIONALIZE THIS. PLEASE DO NOT TURN HATING ISKALL INTO A MEME OR A JOKE.
mcyt'ers being revealed to be less-than-great people is not a rare thing, sadly, but i've seen it turned into a joke/meme/trend in other fandoms. this both minimalizes the actual people's/victims' struggles, makes the entire situation feel less serious than it is, especially to outsiders looking in, and makes everyone in the fandom look immature, petty, unable to take anything seriously, and genuinely harmful.
this server, fandom, and community are not dying, it is not ruined forever, this is one (major, i'm not trying to minimalize it) issue that we're currently dealing with. it will be okay. we will move on. this is not the beginning of the end. please calm down. i love this fandom, god bless all of you. <3
edit: doc has said on stream that we will likely get more information as time passes. like i said, this is a PRIVILEGE. we are not OWED information. please be grateful for what we're given, and POLITELY ask questions if you must. if a cc doesn't give you the answer you want, or doesn't answer at all, LEAVE THEM ALONE. THIS IS NOT AN EXCUSE TO HARASS PEOPLE. the hermits are likely just as stressed out as us, if not probably more so, so please keep that in mind when contacting them.
don't freak out, we'll be okay, this is not the end of the world, nor is it the end of Hermitcraft. we will be okay.
second edit: please remember that (at least as far as we know) ISKALL AND STRESS WERE NOT KICKED OR BANNED. THEY LEFT OF THEIR OWN VOLITION.
ALSO!!! VERY IMPORTANT!!!
WE. DO. NOT. KNOW. EXACTLY. WHAT. HAPPENED.
PLEASE DO NOT ASSUME ANYTHING SIMPLY BASED OFF OF OTHER MCYT'ERS PAST ACTIONS/SCANDALS. WE DO NOT KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED. WE MIGHT NOT EVER KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED. WE NEED TO BE OKAY WITH THAT AND NOT DRAW OUR OWN CONCLUSIONS.
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fluff nikityom hcs? i need to see my boys happy
fluff artkita headcanons!
i need to see them happy tooā¦snifflesā¦they deserve itā¦also thank you! (cant find a gif with both so just pretend..)
in this particular thing i feel like artyom does hold some love for nikita - he just has no idea how to express it properly and it can get pretty overwhelming.
nikita on the other hand isnt as confused about his feelings and is a lot more open then artyom.
nikita is definitely the touchier and clingier one out of the two. i feel like hed always like to hold onto artyom and hold his hand and just always want to touch him in some way. artyom only reciprocates if he does it first - too embarrassed to be the first one to do it.
hair. omg. hair. nikita totally loves to brush out artyoms hair and play with it - he thinks its so pretty and nice. artyom on the other hand also likes to brush nikitas hair out so he can get rid of all the knots and tangles - he tries to be as gentle as he can about it.
going along with that they definitely take showers together. i think artyom wants to make sure that nikita really does get himself clean and taken care of so he washes him off and makes sure hes super clean. nikita loves it and is always leaning into his touch.
when nikita isnt feeling well artyom will let him hug him while he cries and talks about whats wrong - artyom would be holding onto him and rubbing his back as he comforts him to try and help him feel better. once he tires himself out they for sure cuddle in bed while artyom hushes him and wipes away his remaining tears.
nikita really hates his body, but when artyom is touching over him and complimenting him he feels like the hottest man in the world. artyom would have a hard time admitting it out loud, but he genuinely thinks nikita is beautiful. he loves his acne and the bits of fat that stick out here and there - just everything about him.
nikita tries his best to clean his room before artyom comes over, but he always ends up helping him clean up anyway.
when they sleep together they sleep with so many blankets and cuddle up as close as possible because of how cold it is. i think those two would be rambling and whispering to each other into the early hours of the morning until the fall asleep.
sometimes artyom works himself too hard and can get super stressed and exhausted, so nikita will force him to relax and calm down for a little while. it always ends with artyom falling asleep on him.
artyom can sometimes get too cold outside and when he does nikita always offers him his hoodie. he argues but eventually takes it and it feels like the best goddamn thing hes ever worn - he even gets reluctant to take it off when he has to.
that stupid hoodie omg. artyom would love the way it looks on nikita and would think it fits him so well.
when nikita is too caught up in their videos sometimes artyom will catch him off guard by yanking his bandana down and kissing him. hes always quick to reciprocate and it always turns into the sweetest, longest kiss ever. artyom would swing his arms over nikitas shoulders and artyom would put his hands on his waistā¦hrnffā¦
sometimes theyll both cook for each other whenever theyre feeling like they wanna have an actual meal. neither of them are very good at it, but they figure it out together LOL
when theyre outside and mostly alone theyll hold hands while they walk and be all close and stuff. although sometimes their walks outside end with them throwing snow at each other LOL
artyom tries to teach nikita how to play the guitar, but he can never pick up on it because hes too busy admiring his boyfriend while he plays - because of that artyom is always behind him/in front of him moving his arms and hands into place while putting his fingers where they need to be. nikitas always so proud when hes able to play a note or two and artyom just finds it so attractive even if it isnt much
#tcc fandom#tcc tumblr#tccblr#tcctwt#tee cee cee#tccblur#teeceecee#nikita and artyom#artyom anoufriev#nikita lytkin#dismembered pugachova#academy maniacs#artkita#anoufrievboy headcanons
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smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.
#jrwi show#jrwi fanart#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#made this within a short span of wahtever bc i gotta go up to the mountains for my stupid gay job tonight n im trying#nnot to frrRREAAAK THE FUCK OUUTTTTTTi dont wanna work but. get that bread we fuckin shall i guess#ONWARDS TO THE FISH TORMENT!! sometimes flowers feel pain when you trim them before their blossoming. atleast i imagine so#i used to draw gillion with loooong hair tied into a big ol braid. and then it was confirmed that he had short hair when he was little.#AT FIRST I WAS SAD. but then i realized the duality of. when they were little. gill had short hair. edyn had long hair.#AND NOW THEYRE OLDER. and gillion has long hair. and edyn has short hair#both mirroring eachother. looking up to eachother. subconsciously or not. they most certainly care. and most certainly miss eachother.#GILLION ALWAYS LOVED HOW LONG HAIR LOOKs. atleast i imagine so. he hasnt cut it since he left the undersea. sure he wanted to go back home#but even at the very start. he knew he was free in some way now. free to grow out his hair. an adventure would await him before he returns.#he knew it would be a while. so he cant let this go. he cant let this sought-after hair-length get cut away from him again#not yet. not yet. i like to think he loved music too. I SAW SOMETHING INTERESTING A BIT AGO#i see alot of ppl commenting on my baby gill comics like;'i wouldFIGHT this teacher i wanna KILL EM i want them DESTROYED#all very good and nice sentiments! i LOVE the energy here! and it would be nice. to have that catharsis#but the story of young tidestrider is not a story of catharsis. it is a story of agony and being so so small and so special and also so dum#and sucking so bad. and just being a kid and doing the things that a little kid does and so many tired tired people reacting badly to it#youre supposed to be the hero that will save us. our world hangs in the balance and you are the one who tips the scales.#YOU are supposed to SAVE US!! you NEED to SAVE US! CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SQUIRMING IN YOUR STUPID CHAIR!!#you'd think that young tidestrider ought to prevail. and be tucked someplace all safe and sound.#elders gone missing and rotting in a jail. their cultists nowhere around. but theres no happy endings. not here not now.#this tale is all sorrows n woes. you may dream that justice n peace win the day. but thats not how this story goes#BIG ideas for this lil baby gillion series. if anything i make ever gets disproven im killing myself in a well as to poison a water supply
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canāt stop thinking about all the possibilities for her in S2
Men DNI
#I wanna see her lead zaun even tho I feel itās somewhat unlikely#I want her backstory#fuckkk they better not do her dirty :((#im emotional and im stressed and ive cried 3 times today thinkinf about her#uhh god im vrying again š#ugh#fuck im thinkign too much i cant even write down what else i want to see of her#I want to see her living a happy peacful life away from zaun with a smile on her face in 4k#I also wouldnāt mind seeing her naked#I wanna see her pretty scars#also please add renata to the show#Im not a fan of ārenata is sevika!!!!ā theory because. it just doesnāt make sense to me.#and idk it feels like it takes away from sevika as a character#also#they dont even look the same. the only similarities i can see are the arms.#idk where people pulled that theory from#ALSO another reason i dont like it is because i think renata and sevika should bang#i dont want them to be the same singular person because I want both of them at once š«¶#sevika#arcane#<3#thereās def a lot more to list but i canāt think rn so im gonna go sleep:3
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HELLO AGAIN I'm here to say that If your art was any type of food it would be a really, really, REALLY fancy 5 course meal with perfectly cooked food and dessert, BASICALLY WHAT IM SAYING IS THAT YOUR ART IS SO GOOD ITS WORTH EATING :3333 (I love looking at your art everyday š¤¤)
AWWW thank you so much !! that's so lovely of you to say (āĀ“ā”`ā) !! i always look forward gettin to draw stuff, so i'm happy to hear my stuff's as enjoyable for others as it is for me to make !!!!!
#fave#snap chats#everyones been so nice .... youre all so very lovely and supportive i cant stress this enough .. it really keeps a guy motivated š¤§š¤§š¤§#that time to draw for myself seems so finite this month its makin me antsy BUT I WILL TRY REGARDLESS !!! for us all#novembers an evil month .. and dont even get me STARTED on december .. but if theres a will theres a way !!!! i always find a way#i think ima doodle ooonnee more thing in response to an ask then i wanna see how far i can sketch a personal goofy thing tonight#god speakin of varietized courses ive just been postin mostly goofy stuff havent i- and the next thing i have in mind Is Goofy#what can i say im a goofy guy ... but i do wanna tap into my Slightly angstier stuff. just a lil. for a chance in flavor#regardless i hope you'll come to enjoy both !!!!! and whatever else i manage to draw this upcoming week !!!#it probably. wont be much if anything I Will Be Busy but next weekend for sure :]]
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not to be a milennial butĀ harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban really is that bitch....
#mom wanted to rewatch the movies so we've been going thru them <3#talk about a movie thats just like. grief. i turn into the jamie lee curtis halloween trauma supercut#SORRY..... the visuals are peak like that IS the hp vibe to ME and i am BLOWN AWAY this movie was made in 2004 it feels ahead of its time#the first two are so whimsical and magical enrapturing and this movie is like. a well worn cardigan. this feels 2011 cozycore to me#sorry but the introduction of lupin becoming a comforting trusted guardian type of figure AND the dementors representing hollow depression#this 13 yr old whos been kept in the dark on so many things being extra vulnerable prey to them bc of the severe trauma#but getting lessons on how to withstand that creeping dread.. through happy memories... still bonding w lupin increasngly ouagh...#the grief between them both over james and lily. also btw ofc defense against the dark arts being fighting yr fears through laughter. aaaaaa#and then sirius. black. im. i know we meme on the twelve years of it! in azkaban! but as a bitch whos now closer to those characters in age#and can appreciate and understand them obv more than i could when i was. a tween. that just hits like ok shit. VALID#so valid and real to see the child of your friends you knew at that age but who DIED and then see the friend who betrayed them#to see like the best of BOTH of them mirrored and living on in him and be like yknow what???? you WILL be protected frm that same fate#hoooo the briefest moment where harry might hope things will turn out okay. w sirius' name being cleared and peter having to explain himself#and sirius being like hey i get it if you want to stay w your family that is fine but. if you wanna move in w me...#(harry relaying this to hermione later as well. dreaming of a place fr just the two of them somewhere in the countryside#somewhere..... sirius might see the sky..... bc he thinks he would like that after all those years locked up do not even touch me rn.......)#only fr everything to turn to shit two friends fighting w deadly force. the chance to set this right slipping off into the night.#a million dementors descending relentlessly until utter exhaustion and certain death. some strange salvation? fight for a second chance?#but then still havign to say goodbye when they only just GOT this. and everything still being so. god. and lupin having to leave as well.#the thought of sirius also WANTING that guardian type connection but being forced to live in 1. a cave barely living more freely than before#2. then being confined to the stuffy somber abusive home he ran away from as a teen w that portrait still up there and everything.. bitch...#oh man the way i KNOW when we get to ootp (my favourite) its gonna leave me blasted into a million little pieces#the way i know shit like the knowing wink the entirety of the wall tapestry room scene and of course nice one james is gonna DESTROY me..#dont even talk to me abt that dark turn at the end of gof and how everything after gets soooo. god. w everything just getting destroyed and.#i cant even think abt it i cant even talk about it. wah#i dont care btw that they aged those guys up undermining how insanely young these people died. perfect casting fr the remaining marauders ok
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ok i originally just wanted to think of something w obagiyuu but then it went to obamitsugiyuu but then sabiuzui happened and now its a full on everyone lives au with everyone hugging the last 3 ubuyashiki kids just after kiriya announces the demon slayer corps disbanded and im Crying
#kny manga spoilers#kny spoilers#<just bc its an original post#mitsuri got so emotional she had to hug him but she forgot she lost both her arms.#obanai cant see whats going on so giyuu pulls him over with his remaining arm and they act as her arms for her :)#everyone else joins in very soon after pulling in the other 2 with them#some kakushi sprinted to bring a camera to document the last moment of the demon slayer corps as something joyous#finally get to unveil my sabito lives au idea- in the final battle sabito & giyuu were fighting together and sabito saw an attack coming#before giyuu did so he shoved giyuu out of the way- muzan's attack still got most of giyuu's arm and the end of sabito's forearm#sabito was horrified for a moment bc. that was far to close to losing giyuu in a fuckin *instant*#something something even earlier genya & muichiro live because sanemi stopped koku from fully cutting genya in half & genya regenerated#enough to chomp through the sword going through his mouth. made him more monstrous like how koku was about to do and it had the same 'is#that what i become? what im becoming? and for what- power? life? this isnt worth it' and explodes himself#all 4 of them patch up and recover as much as they can before joining everyone else w muzan#sanemi telling genya that under NO CIRCUMSTANCE is he to eat part of muzan. kokushibo was already pushing it the demon king himself? FUCK n#anyways it all started at an inn on a joint mission with sabito & giyuu and obanai#giyuu & obanai were kinda just chilling while sabito was out and about doing who knows what#'im bored' 'what do you expect me to do about that?.' 'wanna check out the onsen with me?' 'wh.' 'do you think kaburamaru would like the#warmth?' '..i dont know' 'onsen?' 'fine.' que giyuu giving him a towelette to tie over his nose & tying his hair up with an extra he brough#obanai thinks hes weird but is very touched by the gestures nonetheless. they speak sparsely until sabito joins (giyuu left a note) &#starts up a bit more conversation. it gets quiet after a while and sabito looks over and notices giyuu's little smile as hes laying his hea#back on his folded towel on the edge. 'what are you so happy about?' obanai looks over and sees it too 'hanging out with my friends is nice#'plural?' both of them look @ him 'yeah- we're friends right? ..can we be friends?' obanai doesnt answer and focuses back on kaburamaru#swimming around his arms. he glances over at them chatting between themselves about some minor thing- (either theyll scorn me or... or)#he takes off the towel covering his face- neither of them mention it immediately even if he catches them giving a glance or two#'do your scars make it hard to move your face? i think mine cut through the muscle. cant smile as much on this side' he looks at#sabito tapping his scarred cheek. giyuu's back to trying to sleep in the water 'not.. much.. its only deep near my mouth' said quieter#towards the end as he focused back on kabu (his prime excuse to avoid eye contact) sabito nodded and kept chatting about whatever- giyuu#quietly enjoying listening to them. kabu got too hot for the water and curled up next to giyuu's head on the towel. obanai actually enjoyin#himself around other people (than sanemi) its nice :) +theyre still on a mission together for a few more days so its not a one-off thing
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What are the psychosexual consequences of the twolves dominance right now
mmm.. i have been Chewing on this...
for quite some time .
so this is a thought i have always had tbh. These playoff results so far have just been bolstering my confidence in it.
Ant and Kat's love is loud love.
The Suns love is no love. Not that they dont have any love At All, because they do. But for each other? Im not so sure. The Suns is Men doing it all for the image of finally being champions so they can prove themselves to the people OUTSIDE their team.
The nuggets is domestic love. It's quiet, it's comfortable, it's won a championship, it's retired love. Retired does Not mean dead, it does not mean completely inactive, it means slower moving, at a personal pace, enjoying what you find to be the thing you wouldn't mind dying doing. Jokic and Jamal don't have to say they're in love 24/7 to let us know they're in love. Jokic doesn't have to talk about horses all the time to reporters for reporters to find out how much he actually does from him always going back to visit them. It's quiet, but it's so strong that it doesn't have to be anything but quiet to know
The mavs is a love built on respect. Wordless, they know they can depend on the other no matter what troubles the other may be dealing with or how much is happening, they Know someone will always be there to get the job done. They KNOW it's not a waste, whatever they're doing .
Kat Needs positive reinforcement, reminisces on it, dreams for it, grows restless and angered without it. Gets real self-conscious and starts faking everything to seem like he has everything so people can start treating him like he's not just some everybody in the world, but a SOMEbody in the world, someone whose opinions, thoughts, actions, and.. possibly most importantly.. WORDS will always be remembered as a meaningful contribution to the world.
Ant is a people pleaser. But he's not the meek, 'let your favorite teacher pronounce your name wrong until the grave' people pleaser where it can be pointed out as a problem, he's a Clever one. He's the kind of people pleaser who can step into a room and spotlight the targets that need the most self-value.. all so He can assure his Own self-value, and protect it. Because, ultimately, the phrase 'everybody loves Anthony edwards' is all about Anthony Edwards, which should be obvious, right? The answer's smack dab in front of your face, but the Confidence. The charisma of it all. Covers it. Conceals it just briefly, just enough for him to get away with it. Ant always knows what to say without even thinking twice. He's such a charmer. Except he's not. He's Always thinking, always brewing up the best ways to become a spectacle. Why even video himself saying that slur shit in the first place? Why not just keep that between him and his friend in the car like probably a good chunk other basketball players do ( because let's be honest. These are probably pretty straight men. They hate people like us. )
He can't. That wouldn't give him the best results in the kind of satisfaction he craves, which is all self based, when boiled down. He HAS to not only impress his one friend in the car with his in power teasing of others who don't even have a clue, he has to try and impress Everyone that he's included in his circle, and he just accidentally included the wrong crowd in that.
Ant and kat together are just two self-conscious people who like being together so they don't feel like they're two self-conscious people who like being together. Love can come in multiple forms, but, in my opinion, love oftentimes needs multiple forms to be at its strongest. When you pour all your love into one bucket, it leaves the others hollow. Love can be quiet, and it can be loud, it can be through words, through actions, through the easy times, AND the hard times, it is love.
I like to call Kat and ant the warped jaren and ja bcs unlike jaren and ja where it can all get spoiled from jaren saying something stupid like 'i love you' when they ARE in love and are just uncomfortable saying it, kat and ant NEED to say they're in love so they can feel like they aren't in it. It being Actual love, deep love that requires more than just pretty words and over-the-top compliments and sayings and comparisons and declarations. Actual love like ant going to kat's house and bringing the rest of the team because he knows kat misses having a stable family, hates the fact that something is missing and he'll never get it back.
Actual love like being awkward with each other
Which they Hate. Terribly. The two of them.
So they'll say how much they're in love with the other, how fondly they think about their memories, how they're so close. They'll tease and laugh and try to instruct the other. And the media laps it up, of course. Especially over the quiet love. It's just so boring in comparison.
Love is thrilling, and it is also boring. Like doing menial activities together like watching the news when you two could actually be the ones on it by doing something crazy together, but you don't, and you aren't, because you both agreed it's going to be a cozy day today where you'll both just be a cute pair of couch potatoes on a sofa watching TV together.
Ant and kat CANT be boring. They CANT just sit in that silence together. They have to say something. They have to know the other doesn't consider them a waste of their time because they don't have that same assurance in themselves.
Love is being scared.
Theyre not scared.
They can't Be scared.
Being down by 2 doesn't mean anything besides we'll bounce back. We're not scared about it. I played well, the shots just weren't falling, but i did good. We are doing good. We love each other. We swear.
We're not scared .
(TV loves confidence)
(Love loves fear)
#love is being terrified. petrified. of losing smthing permanently#whatever u do. it will never be enough to get back what u loved the most#im not saying theyre not in love. or they havent felt it#they are in it. they call each other family now and they have both felt a deep love for people they call family before#and they have both lost people that they love#ant & kat are like the im not like other girls powder puff ( girls football) player tomboy who used to make fun of girls wearing makeup wit#her asshole guy just friends cus im one of the guys friends (even tho the guys would criticize an 'ugly'/nonconventially attractive girl fo#not wearing it ten seconds later) falls for the dopey incredibly kind but thinks she's dumb bcs she's pretty and blond volleyball player#who always tags along with ant at bars so ant can ask guys if they wanna see them make out bcs they find it hot without knowing that kat#finds it hot too#& it turns out ants tomboy obsession with makeup is from her denying love of feminity on others#it's appealing. it's entertaining. it's everything u want to see blossom and grow#but. it takes TIME.#time that places like the ruthlessness of businesses might not always have no matter how captivating#if you are a waste then youre a waste#kat and ant cant stand waste. they cant stand the idea of all this acting like theyre in love (LOVE. love) is all for not#is all for not Actually being in love. just a big elaborate talked up grandiose excuse to say theyre not afraid to be in love#now THATS television!!!!#is it a sturdy relationship though? will something have to change to survive? will SomeBody (or somebodies) have to change? um.#cut the cameras.#deadass.#ted asks#ted longer#ant eds#katman#TY for this ask. i have been munching like a goat. uve probably forgotten abt this.. but i... i never forge-#im like an Elephant <-watched a replay of game 2 & thought it was an entirely different game
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I wanna take a crack at making some fake screenshot graphics for my Sif Odile duo loopers au but I do not feel confident enough in my ability to mimic isat's art style and I also have a crippling fear of drawing backgrounds
#rat rambles#stars posting#I wanna make a thing for odile's parallel scene to the bathroom scene were sif forgets odile's name#but it takes place in the traps room by the wood carving tools which isn't the worst room to have to draw ig but I still dont want to#I could just take the lazy route and just sketch the scene so I can get it out of my head and I probably will#but at the same time I also should draw more stuff with backgrounds even if it makes me want to throw up and cry#but yeah the scene is basically just odile having a derealization moment while thinking abt the wooden odile carving sif made for her#just her looking at it and feeling nothing and trying to look ahead at siffrin expecting to be reminded of what it's supposed to make her#feel and just being met with the same emptyness in her chest as she can barely even recognize the person in front of her until they look#back at her and their expression shifts into a extremely concerned one#does that make sense? idk if Im explaining it well but I hope it makes sense#but yeah smth smth them becoming less real to eachother overtime much to the horror of both#also unrelated but I need to start rotating loop in this au in my head more theres so much to work with here#I have some vague ideas and thoughts but I have been too odile brained to properly elaborate on those in my head#Im honestly just glad Ive finally made an au that I can actually get invested in fleshing out#I havent rly found a good headspace to rly play around with the main cast but this is actually giving me smth to chew on#usually most thoughts I have abt isat just lead to me thinking abt my ocs lol#regardless Im having fun with this au and I hope that I can bring myself to commit to it#also Ive been trying to think of a decent name for this au and Im half tempted to call it from the top or smth but I feel like Im tempted#to call like every story I make that so Im on the fense abt it#especially since thats what Ive been planning on calling the prologue for spiraling upwards#not that I cant just do both but I wanna see if I can think of any alternatives
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oh they fr had bitchnasty sex after this
#tomgreg#I CANT BREATHE HAHAHAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa oh wow. ohhhhhhh wow. oh wow. hahahahahaaaaaaaaaa wow.#GREG REALLY SAID: YOU WANNA FUCK ME SO BAD IT MAKES YOU LOOK STUPID.#the way tom goes OHHHhhhh at greg getting bold is Exactly the same tone me and my gf use with each other. just. you know. for reference.#BUT GREG'S LITTLE HEAD GESTURE BEFORE HE SAID PROVE IT LIKE HE REALLY MEANS IT?????? I GOTTA GO#also i'm sorry but they both read so fucking gay to me like so gay. esp greg in this moment. his line for comfry is so like.#it's so. like you just wouldn't do that. i think. if you were straight. I DONT KNOW I JUST FEEL A KINDRED SPIRIT IN HIM I GUESS.#''she seems like a nice.... person'' GIRL WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT AND THE PAUSE BEFORE PERSON I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE.#iĀ know what you both are.#like. fuck what else can i say about this scene. they're insane i guess????#oh btw i know for a fact tom thinks greg is the most beautiful weird ass creature he's ever seen#like you know a sea creature that's kinda weird that you'd find at the bottom of the ocean that you see in an aquarium#and you're like wow!! that's odd! but.... so beautiful#like that's greg to tom. yet he's like SHES SO PRETTY AND YOU'RE SO GROSS HAHAHA#like. i see what you're doing you fucking avocado you're like oh don't bother going after her bc you're sweet and she might actually say yes#she might like you for what i like you for and y'all might hook up and i can't be having that!!!#like he's so transparent lmfao.#how do i know tom thinks greg is beautiful?? well who else do you say would be fit to take over from your beautiful wife if she died#ALSO tom is just surprised that greg bit back he's not even like. angry? idk i feel like if anyone else said that they'd be#family guy on the floor pose#about shiv being out of his league i mean#HE EVEN LOOKED AT GREGS MOUTH WHEN HE DID THAT LMFAOOO HE THOUGHT THAT WAS HOT#GOD I HATE HIM HAHAaaaaaaahh#AND AFTER GREG SAYS PROVE IT IT JUST CUTS OFF?!??! DID YALL GO FUCK IN THE BATHROOM IM MDDDWDWKDW#ALSO IF YOU LOOK AT PREV POST/WHAT HAPPENED PREVIOUSLY. THEY TOUCHED EACH OTHER LIGHTLY DIDNT EVEN HUG.#and as i said it felt sort of like ''i don't wanna spoil your outfit we can do that later anyway when we fuck raw''#then you get this. and the cut off. so like. come on what the fuck am i supposed to think. just ignore it??#ALSO sorry. sorry. BUT TOMS FACE DURING IT ALL HES LIKE 20 YEARS YOUNGER!!!!!!! AAARRAHgh#ALSO!!!! sorry. sorry. sorry. but why are the colours the bisexual flag in the bg. why. for what reason.#tom keeps looking at gregs mouth all throughout talking about how he fucks. so fuck him. prove it pussy.
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okay I severely misjudged spaghetti guy heās actually just really cool
#okay so I came to this flat and he wasnāt here. greeted by a very dirty flat with shit all over the kitchen counters over cling film#I meet first my other flatmate who told me he stays in his room constantly bc of previous bad flatmates#has literally just a saucepan and some salt in the kitchen. so Iām like okay spaghetti guy potentially not great but could just be#how this guy is yknow#on Tuesday I get an email back saying heās coming back from Norway tonight looking forward to seeing you feel free to use the kitchen sauces#rlly friendly message that I wasnāt expecting. I also didnāt know heād been on a trip i just knew he wasnāt there bc his door was open#(to a REALLY nice room. multiple rlly nice plants (which he has little care labels for!!!) and itās tidy and pretty#and heās got a sheep teddy on the bed)#meanwhile I am in my own head bc I donāt wanna cook in the kitchen until I can clean it and I canāt clean it without moving his shit and#I havenāt seen him yet to talk abt it and I canāt bring myself to talk to him immediately bc Iām dying#and embarrassed as hell by how Iāve been cooking in my room with a microwave and air fryer (loud) and sneaking my shit out of the kitchen#but then yesterday I DO talk to him!! and heās super friendly!! actually interested in having a conversation and Good at it.#and then heās cooking and like. spaghetti burns but Iām not there for long and seems to be a mistake (he made the same thing for lunch today#and did Not burn the spaghetti) and is otherwise clearly competent bc the food smells Good and despite leaving a few things out itās like#washed up stuff isnāt dirty and the sides are better despite still under cling film. more a case that heās spread out than heās messy#and now today we talked and i offered to hold onto some shit over summer bc complicated situation that boils down to heās flying back home#and he cant take all his stuff and had to choose between chucking stuff/having literally nothing this weekend. like sleeping on the sofa etc#and then cleans the whole flat?? which Iām assuming a good chunk is his mess? but he did not need to do that. couldāve easily left#bc there are two people still living here who wouldāve had to deal with it and he doesnāt know either at all#and THEN tonight we talk abt food which is fun bc we both ordered stuff. and he offers me some honeydew melon bc heās been gorging himself#these past two days to finish it before it goes bad/he leaves which is also really sweet#and JUST NOW. I take my headphones out after finishing dinner and hear the sweetest fucking guitar#he plays the gentlest like dreamy sounding acoustic guitar Iāve heard in my life in his room (door closed by the time I leave)#this is actually just a really cool dude#now that the kitchens clear Iām gonna cook tomorrow and will probably offer him some bc otherwise heās gonna be eating out all weekend#he has extra takeout for tomorrow night but might want smth Sunday#regardless I am just. huh??? left a bit stunned bc of the u turn my opinion of this guy has taken. bc my opinion of him was a reflection#of my discomfort moving to this weird dirty basement flat with two people I didnāt know#well. idk where to go from here. I think Iāll start by talking to him more this weekend. bc holy fucking shit.#luke.txt
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not that this means anything to anyone but v4 (yellow) I'm rly proud of finally fucking getting at the gym today its taken me 3 visits over the last 3 weeks to nail it. woof......
#the start is NASTY i do it with one foot crammed in the top corner of the right semicircular one and wedge my hands as firmly as i can-#backwards against the top of the other dual tex on the left n push until i can reach the middle n bring my left foot up..#lemme tell u now. those starting holds are higher off the ground than u think šµāš« theyre above hip height for me#dual tex is slippery hard plastic rather than the usual sandpapery texture of indoor holds btw. see the light reflecting off it? yeah.#fucking death trap for sweaty or chalky hands but in order to use the top of the volume later u 100% need chalk#so i have to start without it n chalk up halfway#also im relatively short (for a climber.. not short generally lol) so i cant reach the volume w both feet secure. was giving me hell š#cuz it means i have to put my whole weight on a CURVED DUALTEX SURFACE!!!!! theres not even rly any good spots to smear#so scary. and yeah the finish is a pain without crazy reach too i had to get a whole elbow on top of the black volume before i could#on my like 4th? try today i got one hand on the final hold and my friend watching said out loud wouldnt it be sooo annoying if u fell rn#and i slipped just as he fucking said that bc he put the idea in my head but luckily JUST caught myself w a smear. ASSHOLE (affectionate)#i need to get someone to film me doing it next week i wanna start recording stuff so i can see what i need to work on#n also remember things im proud of getting!!!!#this is my 3rd v4 at this one gym i think.. theyre a little softer abt grading tho i only have 1 v4 under my belt at the other one#some truly disgusting v3s today too. someone got a great pic of me grimacing on one bc i only got one hand to the top#ill fully send it next week my legs were just killing me by that point n theres some weird twists n pushes u have to do#but so close...argh!#anyway damn its wayyy past my bedtime and i have to be up for work in 6 hours š gonna shower and zonk out gooooodnight#.diaries
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I need life to slow the fuck down bc my skin is starting to hurt real bad from all this picking :/
#marquilla#i need a healthy coping mechanism but nothing hits like self destruction dgdgdghddg#my brain is hard wired from genetics to pick at my skin and hair on both sides š i was doomed from the start#i do try to not do it btw im not like oh well guess theres no options! like no i know but i need a foolproof one#or for life to fucking chill#every four years i become an over plucked chicken for 10 months and think ab pulling my head hair out bc yall are driving me up the wall#i got into a fight in 2016 ab the election and i nearly started punching... like i had to hit the bed instead bc im like god i cant hurt#them but GOD DO I FEEL THE NEED TO TO GET YOU TO GET IT#i think i like plucked DEEP that day just taking my anger and frustration out bc good lord#like how can you be like hmm well im gonna vote for this guy bc fuck poor people. i work retail and so i see people abusing ebt a lot#therefore it makes me mad and i wanna stop it.#like you only notice the 'fraud' and misuse/bad choices people make bc thats negative in your mind so#your brain holds onto it. youre not noticing the poor people who are just minding their business using ebt and feeding their family#ive gotten through to them at least a little ab how fraud is less than 1% and that the fraud is usually selling stamps for cash for diapers#and shit and that it's people sharing cards bc they need to pool their funds to feed their families#that the people you see stealing or buying expensive ass meats on ebt are not the majority and if they wanna waste their limited funds each#month like that then thats a them problem. mind your business.#anyway im fucking like deteriorating sggdgdggd
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literally nothing worse than waiting for bad news to hit. like i don't know how i'm supposed to go to class with this particular sword hanging over my head
#especially since this particular Bad News could change So Much ..#i don't think my dad is ready to be shouldering the entire household by himself. i really dont.#with 3 kids still at home and his job i just. i dont think he can do it alone.#and both of my older siblings have lives already !! they have spouses and jobs and kids !!#they cant just pack up their lives and move across the state !!#but im not settled i dont have a job i dont have kids or a spouse and hell i was gonna leave school anyway !!#just. not this soon.#but fuck i guess i might have to move up the timetable a bit.#but the THING IS that I DONT KNOW YET. like i Know but i dont actually know officially. yet.#and idk. maybe im hoping it'll not turn out the way i know it will so im holding off on making a decision#or maybe im just trying really really hard not to think about the future for the next few days.#but either way by tuesday i'll know for sure and that'll be that.#ill need to talk to my landlord to see if they'll let me move out early. and my counselor to see if i can take a break from school for a bi#and probably my dad just to let him know that im moving back home. idk. i dont fucking know#winter speaks#personal#grief tag#<- gonna be a Whole Thing btw if u wanna blacklist
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hate how im now at a point where im legit like kicking my legs and grinning like an idiot over fictional characters SEND HELP
#take One Guess who im talking about. YES ITS KOI BOI#hes so prettyyyyy and cute and lovely and i love looking at him i wanna hear him speak and laugh and sing just AAAAAAAAAAAA#(turns to my own brain) BITCH WE ARE MEANT TO BE AROACE WHY ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH TWO FICTIONAL CRIMINALS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?????#my brain: (that fuckin anime girl gif from evangelion (i think??))#like fuuuuuck man is it self shipping if u use a proxy? like. hes an oc but he's a stand in for me. he is me and i am him but we also arent#he is his own person and i am my own our lives are very very different but i use him to express love for Mad Dog and Koi Boy#cause they could actually love him if i were in their world i wouldnt stand a chance but my boy has one so he loves them for me#its far easier to imagine him kissing them than it is for me to imagine myself kissing them but that might be because im wired weird#idk it *feels* like it counts yknow. my dumbass out here gettin jealous when i see a Certain Ship cause like i disagree with it on#a Fundamental Level. and on TOP of that half the time the art is so CUTE and im like 'motherfucker that should be ME' or i guess my lad but#STILL am i making sense?? doesnt help that i worry im like. misreading what content i have but also fuck you i can do what i want and also#i get him more than yall kgyugkhjhk (jk jk. Unless) basically when i call them my boyfriends i fuckin mean it#look its Real Missing Nishiki Hours i love him i wanna kiss his perfect face someone shoulda shown him love i could save him and he could#make me worse <3 I Want Him#and do not get me wrong i may be focused on him but Majima is still my wifey too!!! hes mine you cant have her <3#i just have koi boy brainrot i very much desire them Both (YES THAT MIGHT BE WHY I SHIP THEM TOO LOOK I ALSO THINK THEYD WORK WELL TOGETHER#OR AT LEAST HAVE A FUN DYNAMIC TO EXPLORE I SHOULD DATE THEM AND THEY SHOULD DATE EACH OTHER WE ALL HAVE 2 HANDS)#might delete this in the mornin who knows but im feelin silly i wanna talk about them i wanna talk about my boy but idk if ppl would really#GET IT yknow i can think of maybe Two People and that INCLUDES bestie but just aaaa point is i love my koi boy so much hes so lovely <3 <3
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I feel like I have an unacceptably low level of control over my body. Like obviously there are some things that no one can control but I have like actual big problems because of it. I'm not really sure how to describe it but it's not just me being really clumsy (although that is an effect of it) or even the tics I have.
It's like I can feel my body moving wrong constantly but I can't correct it and it hurts and it sucks and I'm tired. I'm tired of hurting myself, making mistakes, breaking things, acting like it's fine when in reality I'm constantly afraid of how much any movement I make next could hurt me. I need to move to stay sane, I want to workout and get stronger and go on walks with my friends. I wanna get better. I can't even roll over in bed without pain and I'm just so tired.
#opossums chronic illness rants#seriously though this sucks so much and idk if theres anything i can do about it but i wanna try#its probably a combination of a lot of different things#like muscle weakness and instability from ehlers danlos syndrome both making each other worse#along with the poor proprioception from autism the dizzyness and weakness from the dysautonomia#the fact that i cant really see and even possibly inner ear damage (thats a new one that ive been suspecting more and more recently)#im not sure if the ear damage would be just from built up ear wax or maybe or something else#but im really not having a good time because it brings back bad memories#when i was a kid (8 i think) my mom was convinced i had compacted ear wax but given that she refused to ever#take me to doctors she decided she had to fix it herself#which led to a lot of excruciating trials where she stuck wires and que tips stripped of their cotton into my ears#and tried to scrape out whatever she could. even though i wanted her to stop because it hurt so bad i would start crying everytime#im also mildly suspicious that might be what damaged my ears in the first place... but i really have no way to know that at the moment#all i know is i dont want anyone looking in or putting things in my ears ever again#it doesnt even matter how much i trust them because now anything put in my ears hurt#like even when im just regularly cleaning them with que tips it hurts and im reminded that might not be normal#idk if you read these tags let me know if cleaning your ears is supposed to hurt i guess?#im honestly not sure. like i just always assumed i wasnt being gentle enough or something but it doesnt matter what i do#its not super painful either just a little bit so i ignored it because i assumed it was normal#since a lot of 'normal' things hurt for me. which i now know to my surprise isnt normal at all but i didnt figure that out#until i actually got people to believe that these things were hurting me#apparently its very hard to find anyom#who believes that opening bag clips or trying to lift a jug of milk are actually quite painful for me#they usually just say im way overreacting and when i was a kid i just believed them i guess
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