#i dont know what to think or feel anymore.

[816wdc]

😍 lando x fem!reader with the prompt

"Can you preheat the apartment? I'm on my way home. "

- "what are you, banana bread?"

Maybe she's cold like allllll the time, even in the summer (it's me, I'm her)

chilly ✹ ln4 x reader

hello anon ^_^ thank you for the request! i kinda flipped the dialogue because i thought it flowed better, but lmk what u think :) this is officially my first f1-related writing ive put out into the world, so comments are greatly appreciated!

word count: 475

notes: mostly casual dialogue, not proofread. about a phone call between reader and lando! no use of y/n. i also dont think its explicitly stated reader is fem, so take it how you will!

It was freezing.

Not really, of course. It was June, in London, in one of the worst heat waves ever recorded. But you’d spent all day in the office, which had its aircon on blast to accommodate for the heat. You can’t really blame whoever was in charge of that, really. It was over 30 degrees out and any sane person would be boiling.

And yet, here you were, trembling even as you signed off for the day and pulled out your cell phone. It was a ritual, at this point, to call Lando once you were off work. Going through the motions of pulling up his contact and hitting ‘call’ didn’t even require your attention anymore.

Lando’s voice crackled to life almost immediately when the call connected. “Hello, darling. I was wondering when you’d call.”

A soft smile bloomed on your face just at the sound of his voice as you stood from your desk and gathered your things. “Hi, Lando,” you reply. His infectious joyful energy seeped into you even through the phone, and a little laugh could be heard as you continued to speak. “It’s been so cold in the office today, but I’m on my way home now.”

A content hum came from the other line. “Finally. Feels like you’ve been gone forever.” An amused exhale escapes you at that. “You won’t be cold once you step outside, though. Boiling today, innit?”

You groan, the stickiness of the air clogging your lungs as soon as you step outside. “Yes, I’m outside now. I’m sure you’ve got the air on in my apartment. Can you just… grab me a blanket that I can wrap up in once I’m home?” 

The question embarrasses you almost immediately after it leaves your lips. Complaining about how hot it is, then asking your boyfriend to grab you a blanket seems silly. It kind of is. “The aircon is always freezing. I don’t care how hot it is outside,” you say, a whiny lilt as you talk over Lando’s squeaking laugh.

“Wow. Over 30 degrees out and of course you’re asking me for a blanket,” he starts, though he’s still laughing more than he is talking. “But yes, darling, I will preheat the couch for you with tea and blankets.”

A real laugh comes from you as you approach the entrance to the tube station. “Preheat? What am I, like, banana bread or something?”

Both of you were laughing now, Lando’s coming out broken as you waited underground for your train. “Banana bread sounds fantastic. You’ve made me hungry, now! Ugh, done me dirty. Jon won’t allow that,” he groans.

Another hum from you as the ticker board says your train is only a minute away. “Okay, okay. My train is here. I’ll be home in ten, my love. See you.”

“Right. See you soon, you loaf.”

let me know if you want to be added to my taglist!

[saintjosie]

hey josie, i truly don't know where to turn with this anymore, so maybe you have some words of wisdom

i came out last year. i think i look ok sometimes, but im still terrified of dressing fully fem, i still don't know makeup etc. my friends give me compliments but i feel like i dont look good, and more importantly, i dont know What i want to look like. do i like goth clothes cause of internet brains or is it me, do i feel awful in dresses cause im more butch or cause of internalized trans/fatphobia.

i feel like i dont know who i am, what i like, and i find myself feeling dysphoric every day. whats worse, often when i see tgirls online or in person, i find myself feeling worse. jealous. dysphoric. depressed. hopeless. they have it figured out, theyre confident, they're brave, theyre hot. it feels awful

i dont know what to do anymore

hold on to your pants cause i’m about to dish out some tough love.

the best advice i have to give you is get off your fucking phone.

if seeing other girls online is making you feel like shit, stop looking.

you say you don’t know who you are? well i promise you that trying to find that answer in someone else won’t work.

you have spent so much time staring at the people who you want to be like but you forgot to take the time to figure out who you are.

and on top of that i’m gonna let you in on a secret. none of those girls are as confident as you think they are. and none of those girls think they are as hot as you think they are. and trust me, i know because i’ve probably have spoken to some of those girls.

get off your phone. be out in the world. do things you want to do. find things you like. things you genuinely like just because you like them and for no other reason. figure out who you are.

spend time with your friends and learn to receive their encouragements. stop deflecting because you don’t agree with them. stop feeling sorry for yourself.

i can’t give you the answer. only you can. good luck.

[unactive-shroom]

Haikyuu boys as tiktok pranks

CHARACTERS: Nishinoya & Kenma,

a.n. As always - requests are open! It's been so so long and I feel like I'm in lockdown again but the Haikyuu phase is strong as ever. Enjoy!

NISHINOYA YUU.

"Would you still love me as a worm?"

You shifted in his arms slightly. "Mm, yeah probably. Depends how long though."

You felt him nod, his chest rising and falling in time with his slight laughter. "Well, probably forever. It's kinda a permanent situation-"

"No, Noya, I mean how long the worm is."

A few moments of silence passed before you continued. "Well, I suppose you're on the short side anyways so you probably wont have to worry about it."

He sat up, almost knocking you off the couch. "Probably?! And what do you mean I won't have to worry about it?? I'll be the longest worm ever and you'll hate it."

Frowning, you maneuvered yourself off his legs and onto a more stable part of the couch. "Um, no, you'll be teeny tiny and I'll love you forever and keep you in a little bottle cap."

He mirrored your frown, and pointed at you. "You will not keep me in a bottle cap, you'll have to get a, like..." He faltered, making wild gestures with his hands. "...a jar or a skyscraper or something."

"Dont point at me! You're actually so wrong, you'll only be this size." you loomed toward him, showing him the tiny distance between your thumb and finger. He gasped dramatically and clutched his heart, before retaliating once more.

It was very likely that this quarrel would continue for at the very least, another half hour or so, but likely the worm references would continue for the next few weeks, confusing anyone who tried to understand what you were even arguing about anymore.

KENMA KOZUME

(Laughing like spongebob at him)

"So then Kuroo had to spike but completely missed, he slipped and fell just like-"

"blahahahhahahaha" (chat you know what i mean idk how to write spongebobs laugh phonetically)

Absoloute silence. Kenma turns to look at you with literal horror and fear etched across his face.

"....what was that?" he asked incredulously. "Did you just - was that a spongebob laugh? How do you even do that?"

"blahahahaha ! Stop, Kenma, you're so funny I don't know what you're talking about" At this point he was standing, head tilted and a look of pure shock and disbelief. "No. No, I'm not doing this."

You watch him get up and head for the door - "Wait, wait, Ken I'll stop, promise" you gasped between fits of laughter, in some attempt to bring back your terrified boyfriend.

After some coaxing, he sat down on the bed a good distance away from you.

"Promise you won't do that ever again."

"Aww, I promise."

"I'm serious, y/n! That was like, inhumane - no human should make that sound."

He flopped back onto the soft duvet, looking genuinely stressed. "I actually think you triggered my fight or flight response or something, that was messed up."

You sidled up beside him, wrapping a comforting arm aound him. "Don't worry, we're all afraid of something, Kenma."

"I am NOT scared of spongebob! I honestly think I'm scared of you now, though."

[poppy-metal]

i need art to drop a bomb on reader for sperm donor!au and cut tashi the fuck off. she can’t just check out of the relationship when it’s convenient for her😭 we don’t have the same luxury. she can be happy with patrick— but not at the cost of us or our baby. i’m all for leaving her toxic ass. perhaps even for our baby daddy!

(but this is 100% my vengeful, petty side coming out)

unfortunately, i think reader is so in love with tashi she really would forgive her if tashi wanted to work things out - her self worth has been SHOT since annabellas birth - she just wants to be a good mom, so badly she genuinely believes its her fault for slacking on being a good wife - part of what made her and tashi work was how much of a devoted acolyte you were - at tashi's beck and call. now if she wants to go on a date you have to bring the baby, she can't bring you to events because anna will get fussy, you dont go on morning runs with her anymore because your body aches too much lately. its kind of insane really, you'd think she'd realize all this change would happen - but even tashi doesn't know everything. she just wanted to make you happy. she didn't know it'd mean so much would change.

in my head in this au tashi is her full selfish self that the film was too afraid to let her fully be - she likes being the center of someone's world. she liked the fact that she married you, picked you, but had art and patrick still in her orbit. she liked that she barely had to push art at all before he agreed to give you a baby. she never cheated on you before - but it was a kind of emotional betrayal nonetheless. when annabella was born and your devotion shifted - and arts did too, he didn't look at her with that awestruck loopy boy in love gaze anymore. he was always wanting to be around you and the baby. patrick was the only one left fully obsessed with her and only her. falling into bed with him was easy.

she feels alot of guilt. just because she's selfish doesn't mean she's evil - she still loves you. thats why its an affair and she's keeping it from you. she doesn't want to leave. you still love her, she knows you do. she doesn't know how it will end - if she'll have her fun and end it with patrick when shes ready to settle more, or if she'll always keep him around to fill a bed with her when you're not around. she doesn't know and she doesn't want to dwell on it.

patrick is simple because hes really just fully in love with tashi - always has been always will be. doesn't care how shitty of a person it makes him to sleep with her behind your back, doesn't matter that he likes you as a person, if tashi calls, he's there, period.

and if art tells you - isn't he just doing that for himself too? thats why he's hesitant to let you know. he doesn't want to come across like he's happy it happened - he doesn't want to be in annabellas and your life that way. he wants you to fall in love with him like hes fallen in love with you. he wants you to want him to be your partner. not just choose him because everyone else betrayed you.

[yennas-stuff]

There’s this one e/riel who recently said “azriel was loyal to the mor for hundreds of years and he hadn't even gotten confirmation she liked him back so what makes y'all think he's about to be giving up on elain anytime soon Imfao” and then another one replied “And that man is evidently more down bad for Elain than he ever was with Mor so imagine at least another 500+ years of yearning for Elain. He physically can't stay away”

Rhys asked Azriel about Mor and wasn’t able to respond. Didn’t tell Rhys that he doesn’t love her anymore, doesn’t have feelings for her anymore, or is starting to get over her, and I think that’s why Rhys acted the way he did, because Azriel wasn’t able to give an answer, but if Az did give off the slightest hint of having genuine feelings for Elain then Rhys would’ve acted differently and likely would’ve told Az to wait for Elain to break the mating bond with Lucien or to be patient. And Azriel being “evidently more down bad for Elain than he ever was with Mor” is so funny to me. All we got with Az & Elain in his chapter was lust and jealousy when Sarah could’ve put something that showed romantic interest (genuine feelings) but didn’t. It would’ve been easy for her to do so. Lust doesn’t mean love. Sexual attraction isn’t that deep. There’s nothing wrong with the sexual attraction, but him not being able to plan beyond his fantasies and his self loathing toward himself wasn’t okay. That’s the problem I and others have. How he talked about himself was very unhealthy. There were actually people who did ship e/riel but stopped after reading the bonus chapter/acosf, and that’s saying something.

If Mor showed the slightest interest in Azriel or told him she wanted to be with him, then I 100% believe he would leave Elain for Mor. I don’t think he’s completely over Mor, but I do think he’s slowly starting to move on from her and has accepted that it’s never going to happen, and Elain is his rebound just like he is Elain’s rebound for Graysen. I think Az is jealous because everyone around him is getting into relationships/mates and is becoming happy. Rhys says in the third book that Az spent years waiting for a mating bond to snap between him and Mor. He wants a mate and is jealous because he doesn’t have one.

Lovely Anon, agreed 10000%. Thank you for the message. Great points were made.

I think Azriel just latches on to something he considers a pure and perfect embodiment of femininity. Maybe I am reading into it too much, but I don't really think it was love he felt for Mor. I think it was a combination of lust and platonic love. I think he wants to feel some of that purity and perfection, for it to rid him of his *sins* or wrongdoings.

If a female like that loved him, it would mean that he is good. But at the same time, he feels as if his touch was taking away some of that purity he assigned to Mor or Elain. We don't need to even get into it to know it's not healthy.

Also, I've never felt like him being down bad for 500 years was romantic or a good thing. It was not reciprocated or appreciated by Mor. It seems very self-destructive. At some point you need to actively look for happiness somewhere else. And I dont see him being more down bad for Elain than for Mor. Its been just a year and he's been avoiding her. With Mor he actually spent time with her. And as you wrote, he waited because he wants a MATE. He is so laserfocused on that. He doesn't even entertain pursuing anyone without thinking about bonds. Even when he knows that Elain already has one. He still thinks about it instead of how he feels ABOUT HER as a person. Just about having sex with her, which we know... means nothing (Nesta in the beginning of acosf).

We could get some deep loving words from Azriel about Elain when he was talking with Rhys but alas...

His mate obsession just shifted from Mor to Elain. But he knows she's already taken, which makes it impossible and more painful for him, which he probably thinks he deserves. Sad.

How sad it would be to always have this 3rd person in your relationship (Lucien)? He would probably think about him way too much and let these bad thoughts brew. Comparing himself and whatnot.

I hope he finds his happiness when he least expects it, he he. 💖 And for him to learn how true love feels. With no space for these self-deprecating feelings.

(These are just some thoughts my bestie, and I shared about Azriel and his state of mind. We might be talking crap, so if you don't agree, Im open to hear you all out).

[siampie]

Risk and Reward||Chapter 8: La Vie en Rose

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 4.1k

Summary: In the aftermath of your night of passion with Matt, you are trying to determine what is the nature of those new feelings that are arising.

Warnings/tags: 18+, MDNI, smut, p in v, oral (male receiving), protected sex (wrap it before you tap it folks, always.), lots of fluff

A/N: Here it goes, a little more smut in this chapter.    

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@ebathory997; @sarraa-26; @cheshirecat484; @rebeccapineapple

Dividers by @cafekitsune

Song the title is referring to:

Il est entré dans mon cœur (I welcomed in my heart)

Une part de bonheur (A piece of happiness)

Dont je connais la cause (Of which I know the reason)

C’est lui pour moi (It’s him for me)

Moi pour lui dans la vie (Me for him, in this life)

Il me l’a dit, l’a juré pour la vie (He told me so, swore it for life)

Et, dès que je l’aperçois (And as soon as I see him)

Alors je sens en moi (Well, I can feel inside of me)

Mon cœur qui bat (My heart beating)

You had not stirred up in your sleep when Matt slid out of bed. He huffed out a quiet laugh when you let out a soft snore. He had quietly gotten dressed, putting on grey sweatpants and a dark shirt. He only hoped he had food in his fridge, enough to cook some breakfast. Matt didn’t have a habit to stock his fridge with food, although he would argue he was getting better at it. His ears were on you while he was cooking breakfast. A slow lazy grin pulled at his lips as he remembered the night before. Your body going on overdrive while you offered yourself to him. He loved the way your body had reacted to him, to his voice and his touch.

Matt considered himself lucky to have found you. It was probably too early to say that he was lucky. Maybe he would ruin it one way or the other, as he always did. He just couldn’t help but enjoyed the way you always reached out to him when you were together in a room. Always seeking his touch as though you couldn’t get enough of it. He never wanted you to stop. He was also aware that he would have to let you know about the Devil. He was just afraid that once you knew, you would just stop. That you would want nothing to do with him anymore. And he didn’t think he could bare the thought of that happening.

You padded into the living room as he was pulling two cups out. A slow smile pulled at his lips, you were wearing his shirt. And as you wrapped your arms around his middle from behind, he could smell himself on you. You buried your face between his shoulder blades while he poured the coffee.

“How did you sleep?” Matt asked you, his hand wrapping around one of your wrists. He pulled you around him, so, you could face him.

“Amazing.” His arms wrapped around you. You yawned, burying your face in his chest.

“Not a morning person, uh?” He chuckled.

“Not really,” you grumbled.

“Hopefully, some coffee and breakfast might make it better.” Matt suggested, his lips met your temple tenderly before he steered you to the small table.

Rubbing sleep out of your eyes, you took in the sight of Matt bringing breakfast to you. It was a beautiful sight. Something you could get used to. He placed the plate in front of you, and your stomach grumbled at the smell of the omelet. You were not much one for breakfast, it was one coffee and nothing less. But you had worked up an appetite from the night before, and now you were famished.

“How do you take your coffee?” Matt asked from the kitchen.

“Black and three teaspoons of sugar.” You answered. “Is that bell pepper?”

“I had some left in the fridge. And thought I could make it fancy.” He answered, shrugging off one shoulder.

“Well, it does look fancy.” You smiled at him. “Smells delicious too.” You thanked him as he put the coffee cup in front of you. He tilted his head slightly, his unseeing eyes focused somewhere over your shoulder. “What?”

“You’re not eating.” He said sitting across from you.

“Oh—I’m waiting for you.” You shrugged smiling.

“You don't have to wait for me.” He smiled softly, grabbing his own fork. "Just go ahead."

“Bon Appétit.”

You felt pleasantly sore from the night before. It felt so surreal for you to be sitting here, having breakfast with Matt. He wasn’t your first boyfriend by no means, although your previous relationships weren’t as successful. You never truly worried about them, but sitting here with Matt, enjoying your breakfast, you were expecting for the other shoe to drop. You were expecting for something to go wrong. Because you were happy, because it mattered.

You were sure it was too soon to say anything. It had barely been a month. And maybe, you weren’t entirely thinking clearly. You had just woken up. And the night before, you and Matt had engaged in sexual intercourse for the very first time. And that feeling in your chest was probably the result of that. Maybe, you were getting your feelings all mixed up. You might feel different tomorrow. But right in this moment, you didn’t want to have breakfast with anyone else but him. The truth was, you didn’t want just anyone. You wanted him. And that truly scared you.

The truth was, you really, really liked him.

“Are you okay?” You asked him suddenly; you were both cuddling on the couch in the quiet apartment.

“What?” Matt exclaimed, a laugh escaping his lips.

“I’ve seen the scars, Matthew.” Your hand ran along his chest, where you knew the scars to be. Matt tensed under your touch. You looked up at him, sensing the shift in the air. “I’m sorry—I—”

“No, it’s okay—it’s just—um—” He cupped your jaw, “I will tell you all about it. Everything. Just not today.”

Your eyes roamed his face, it sounded like a promise. Although, he didn’t look comfortable about the topic. You didn’t know what had happened to him, you were curious. Those scars were almost identical, and you could only imagine how terrible and deep these wounds truly were. Matt wasn’t comfortable with this subject; you could feel it in the way he had tensed under your touch. You weren’t going to push.

“It’s okay.” You reassured him. “I’m not going anywhere. Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be here.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” You moved up so you could kiss him.

You would be patient, and you’d be there to listen. There were certain things that people had a hard time to share, just like you. There were certain things you weren’t ready to share with him. Things from your childhood, you had yet to come to terms with. Memories that were long forgotten. Mainly because your brain had decided to block them out. And only in recent years, some of them had come back. And feelings, emotions you had felt at the time had washed over you. And you wished they had remained repressed a little longer.

Maybe Matt wasn’t ready to revisit something that had been traumatic at the time. And you didn’t want him to revisit it for your own curiosity. So, you would ignore the subject of his scars and not bring them up. Not until he was ready to share his story with you.

You would wait for him.

“Someone had a good weekend.” Amelia commented when you joined her at the foot of her building.

“It was okay.” You shrugged, repressing a smile.

“Okay, uh?” Amelia repeated while you both started to walk together. “That’s it.” She shoved you lightly. “Come on, it was more than okay, wasn’t it?”

You giggled, “yeah, it was.” Amelia jumped up and down, next to you. “It was amazing.”

“You need to give me more than that.”

“No, I won’t kiss and tell. All you need to know is that—Matt is—an excellent lover.”

You and Matt had spent most of Saturday together, but eventually you had to go home. You had borrowed a fresh shirt and gym shorts to go home. And briefly, you had smelled like him. You were truly happy in this new relationship. Was that the honeymoon phase? Where everything felt great, carefree and happy. Where it felt as though nothing could go wrong. You wanted this—honeymoon phase to last for as long as possible. Before life and God came to the realization that you were happy and they just needed to ruin it for you. Before Matt realized you were too much to handle.

You were convinced your mother had walked away for this very reason. You were too much for her. You loved too much, you expected too much in return and she couldn’t handle it or didn’t want to. You didn’t know.

You were too much and also not enough. Not enough for her to stay. Not enough for her to come back. Not enough for her to love. You were simply not enough.

Your father had made you feel the same too. You were too emotional, too dramatic, too generous. As he was, by the way. And at the same time, you weren’t doing enough. You weren’t doing enough around the house. Or you weren’t doing chores fast enough. Or you weren’t making enough money. Whatever you did, was just not enough for him.

You had learned to give yourself some grace over the years. You have learned to love yourself and be kind to yourself. Still, this ill thought of being not enough and too much at the same time kept creeping back. Making you doubt and question relationships, people and yourself.

You should relax and let yourself enjoy this relationship with Matt. But in the back of your head, there was this small voice that kept telling you;

This is too good to be true.

“Alright, stop that!” Amelia bumped her shoulder into yours.

“What?” You turned to her quickly.

“This,” she waved her hand over your form. “The voices in your head are wrong.” She leaned closer to you, “listen, you are happy, right?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “Very much.”

“Then don’t let those voices ruin everything for you.” Amelia reassured you. “Matt couldn’t take his hands off of you. He really likes you. Have a little faith in him.”

“It’s not him the problem.” You said, Amelia laced her arm with yours. “It’s me. I’m sure I’m going to do something that will—put him off.”

“Like what? Loving on him too much? Giving him head?”

“I’m serious, okay?” You snapped. “I always find a way to drive the people I love away. Or I’m the one who ends up walking away. And I really don’t want that happening with Matt.”

She let out a deep sigh, “Trust me, it won’t.” You looked up at her. “You won’t drive him away, and you love him too much to leave now.”

“Never said anything about love.” You stammered out, panicking that you had let something slipped.

“Oh, honey.” She huffed out a laugh as you neared your workplace. “Don’t worry, it’ll be our secret.” She winked at you.

Matt threw the empty bag of take outs while you finished up washing the dishes. His arms wrapped around your waist as you dried off your hands. His nose buried in your neck; you heard him inhale deeply. You brushed your fingers in his arms lightly.

“How early do you have to go to work tomorrow?” You asked quietly.

“Well, that’s the perks of being your own boss. I can afford being a little late.” Matt lips trailed up your neck, finishing their course on your jaw.

You both started swaying, “do you want to spent the night?” You asked him timidly.

“I’d love that very much.” He whispered against your ear.

A small smile pulled at your lips. As you turned around in his arms, your arms wrapping around his neck, your fingers grazing at the hair on the nape on his neck. You kissed him hard on the lips. You had missed him and you couldn’t wait any longer to have him again. His hands slid down your ass, squeezing it gently. The action pulled a quiet moan out of you.

“Matty?” You panted pulling away, he chased after your lips. “I want to try something.”

“What?”

Without a word you pulled him into your bedroom. Nervous of even breaching the subject, you just decided to initiate it. You had thought about it for a while. You pushed him down onto the bed.

“Sweetheart, what are you doing?” Matt pushed himself up on his elbows.

You started to unbuckle his pants, “I just—I want—”

His hands rested on yours as he sat up, “you don’t have to do that. I’m not expecting you to.”

“I know.” You nodded, your hands sliding on his thick thighs. “But I really want to. And if you’re open to it, I would love to do this for you.”  You pushed him back with a kiss on his lips. “Just let me take care of you tonight, okay?”

Your heart was hammering in your chest as you kept kissing him. You reached down to grip him through his pants, slowly stroking him. His fingers entangled in your hair; he pulled your bottom lip between his. You kept stroking him, moans falling from his lips. You let go of his cock, only to open his shirt. You kissed down his jaw, his neck, his chest. You felt his stomach tensed under your lips, tight in anticipation. Your hands reached for his belt, unbuckling it. You knelt between his legs, pulling down his pants, coming face to face with his bulge.

You swallowed your saliva, your breath growing shallow. So was his. You pulled down his boxer, he hissed when the cold air hit his leaking tip. You gripped him at the base. You licked at the salty pre-cum, a needy moan pushing past his lips, one of his hands finding the back of your head.

This was more for you than for him, really. You didn’t really have a good experience when it came to giving oral. You've had partners that had shown themselves forceful. They pushed you beyond your limits which had soured your experience. You wanted to do this for Matt as he had done for you. You wanted to enjoy it. And you trusted Matt enough to try it with him.

You wrapped your lips around his length. His fist tightened in your hair, pulling at them. But he wasn’t pushing your head down on his cock. You couldn’t take him entirely; you didn’t want to gag. So, you went slow, each time swallowing more of him, before coming back up to the sensitive head.

Matt’s head was thrown back against the bed, his eyes shut tight. Moans rising from his chest, cussing every time you go down on him. His free hand fisted the sheets on the bed, as he struggled not to buck into your mouth.

You felt yourself becoming wet as he came undone. The groans and moans you pulled out of him, made you clench your thighs, seeking for some sort of friction to alleviate the pressure that was building. You pulled him out, to breathe, stroking him with your hand.

“Sweetheart—” He moaned out, lifting his head. “I don’t—I don’t think I can last any longer, fuck, please—”

His words died on his tongue when yours swirled around his tip, before taking him again in your mouth. This time you took him a little deeper, your throat hurting a little. You pulled back slightly, he jolted when your tongue rubbed along the smooth head.

He was so lost in his pleasure that he couldn’t hold back anymore. He bucked into your mouth, his fist tight in your hair, pulling at it. You groaned at the sensation; Matt was losing control under your tongue. He was close, nearing his climax. Pleas fell from his lips, begging for that push over the edge.

Without warning, he erupted on your tongue, warm and salty. A filthy moan came out of his lips, your weeping cunt demanding for attention, clenching painfully around nothing. You swallowed it all down, your tongue rubbing against him once more, as he softened in your mouth. You let him fall from your lips, laid a kiss on his thigh, before moving to lie down next to him.

A slow blissed out smile pulled at the corner of his lips. Panting, he turned his face to you.

“Are you okay?” You asked him, your head resting in the palm of your hand. Your hand ran along his torso.

“Yeah, I’m more than okay.” Matt cupped your jaw, pulling your face to his, tasting himself on your tongue. His fingers brushed down your jaw, his hand gently wrapping around your throat. “That was amazing, sweetheart.”

“You enjoyed it, I take it.”

“Very much.” You giggled at his words, leaning over to kiss him. His hand pawed at your thigh, pulling you to him. “You’re wearing too much clothes, sweetie.”

You pushed off of him, to get rid of your clothes while he got rid of his shirt. You crawled back into the bed, and straddled him. His fingers finding your dripping cunt. A filthy moan escaped your chest.

“Shit, you’re so wet.” His finger slid easily into you, his thumb circling your clit. “Is this for me?”

You nodded; your eyes shut tight. You whimpered, “only for you.”

“You enjoyed it, didn’t you, sweetheart?” You nodded, your hips bucking into his hand. “Sucking me off, got you this wet, uh?”

“Yes!” You cried out. Your hand clamped around his wrist when you felt yourself nearing the edge. “I need—to feel you inside—” you panted out. “Please, Matty.”

He pulled his fingers out, while you reach for the condom. You stroked him a few times, his cock hardening in your hand once more. Heavy and warm. You rolled down the condom onto his shaft, before guiding him to your entrance. You slowly slid down onto his cock, taking him slowly, adjusting to him.

Your hands were on his bare chest, your eyes snapping shut as you paused. You sunk lower onto his cock, he filled you entirely.

“You’re taking me so well, sweetheart.” He praised you, your eyes rolled in the back of your head. “Just like that.” He panted, his hands resting on your hips.

Once he was fully inside of you, you rolled your hips. He let out pleased and throaty moans. You enjoyed it. His eyes were clamped shut. Setting up a slow pace, you grinded along him, his hands cupped your breasts. He kneaded the flesh as you rode him.

"Shit," you hissed. Matt unravelled beneath you, his eyes clamped shut. His hands pawing at you, going from kneading your breasts to gripping your hips. As though he didn't know where to put his hands. He looked erotically beautiful.

His grip on your hips tightened, your fingers clamped around his wrists. Your head fell back on your shoulders, his cock squeezed by your walls. Your moans and groans echoed in the room. Your hips rubbed along him, your pace unsteady as you grew tired.

Matt sat up, his arms wrapped around your back. He pulled you into his chest, his lips latching onto yours. Your hips kept grinding along him, your arms wrapped around his back. He flipped you over, switching your position.

"Oh, fuck!" You cussed, the action catching you by surprise.

It was hot that he switched your position without having to pull out.

"Doing so good for me, sweetie." Matt praised you quietly.

He bucked into you, he was now the one in charge, setting up the pace. Your hands gripped his back tighter, his lips found your pulsing point, in the crook of your neck. You naively thought that the novelty of your relationship, it being the first time sleeping with him, had made the experience so much more enjoyable. You were wrong. The second time around, you didn’t fare any better. You were stuck halfway between a panic attack and rolling around like a cat in heat. Matt’s expression, whenever you could focus long enough to see them, were as lust filled as yours felt. His pulse seemed to be galloping along about neck and neck with yours.

You gave out a sudden cry when he slammed hard into you. Your nails dragged down his back, eliciting a groan out of his chest. Matt pulled back and slammed again into you, without warning your cunt clenched around him. A loud moan echoing through the room, Matt kept bucking into you while you orgasmed, white dancing behind your eyelids.

Your toes curled; your legs tightened around his waist, shaking. Matt kept thrusting into you, slowing his pace as you came down from your high. Your hands raked through his hair, slick with sweat.  Your lips latched onto his, swallowing his moans and groans.

“Matt, faster—please.” You panted out, building up to another climax.

He complied. The tip of his cock brushed along the spongy spot inside of you. A whimper escaped your lips, filthy and needy. The sounds you made spurred Matt on, he bucked into you a little faster. Stars erupted behind your eyes, as he kept pushing on this spot with the tip of his cock.

“One more—just one more.” He breathed out in your ear.

“Fuck, yes!” You cried out, gripping his back, tightly.

Matt lowered himself to kiss you deeply as he kept pounding into you. White dancing at the edges of your vision, his thrusts growing sloppier. Your mouth opened, breaking the kiss, to let out a guttural moan. His hips stuttered to a stop, his forehead falling in the crook of your neck, a loud groan rumbling through his chest.

Your pants filled the room, both of you a sweaty mess. His lips brushed on your neck, kissing down your shoulders. Both of you were slowly coming down your high. After a few minutes, he mustered up the energy to pull out of you.

Your hand reached out to his arm, weakly pulling him to you. Matt huffed out a little laugh as he moved closer to you. You kissed his cheek, resting your forehead against his temple. You threw your leg over his hip as he pulled you as close to him as possible.

“I missed you, Matty.” You kissed him softly, “I really did.”

Matt chuckled. “That's good to hear cause I missed you too." His hand rubbed along your thigh. "A lot."

A small smile pulled at your lips, his words filling your chest with a warm feeling. Making your heart swell with—joy, and something else. Something you weren’t entirely ready to face. You thought it was too soon to feel that way about him. And maybe, it was the novelty of it all. Everything was new and beautiful; the sex was great. And your hormones may influence you in that way. This wasn’t love, it probably was the post-coital bliss.

It didn’t matter in the moment though. You were perfectly satisfied falling asleep in Matt’s arms. You could truly get used to this.

“What?” You leaned closer to your mirror. On your neck, a large copper-rich bruise was on display. “Matt!”

“What’s wrong?” He turned to you, tying his tie loosely around his neck.

“You left a hickey on my neck.” You groaned, pointing to your neck. “A very large one too. When did you have time to do that?”

“Well—” Matt smirked, his hand coming up to brush against the offensive mark. “We did get carried away last night.”

“Amelia is gonna have a field day with this.” You grumbled, pouting.

Matt snorted before resting his lips on your brows. “I’m sure it’ll be alright.”

“Have you met Amelia?” You pulled back slightly to glare at him. “She’s merciless.”

“I can imagine,” he pulled you into his chest, burying his nose in his favorite patch of skin.

“Matt?” He hummed in your neck, both of you swaying. “We’re going to be late for work.”

“Or we could stay in bed all day.” He suggested, inhaling deeply. “Naked together, getting to know each other better.” His fingers travelled up and down your spine.

Your breath hitched in your throat. His voice, and his fingers on your spine, ignited the fire in the pit of your stomach. You would love nothing more than to stay in bed with him all day long. But he had his practice than needed him, and you had datelines to meet.

“As tempting as that sounds, and as much as I would love to, we can’t.” You reasoned. “Tell you what,” you pulled away slightly. “We can make that happen this weekend.”

“You’re full of good ideas, sweetheart.” His lips tugged up at the corner.

“Always, my good sir.” You replied back, “come on, hurry up, you still need to stop by your apartment.” You padded back into the bathroom. “We’re definitely going to be late.”

Previous Chapter || Chapter List || Next chapter

[celestialmancer]

...

5 years or less...

That's the most time I have left to scramble everything together despite also struggling w my own health & everything I already struggle with. & That's assuming nothing happens in the time span before then that accelerates everything at a rate faster than I can maybe handle

Bc with the unpredictability I seem to live in constantly, with how common it is for me to have shit strike out of nowhere? When I've never even known stability in the first place so I can't even trust that that 5 years won't suddenly be accelerated to less than 2 years or far less than that? Esp when last year was the start of sudden "yeah so we are becoming rly unstable & idk how well we're going to be able to live here for the next x months/years" that was dropped on me out of nowhere?

...I don't know.

[ganondoodle]

im watching a (slow) streamer play thorugh elden rings DLC and have barely seen anything more but ... i have seen some vague hints on twitter that theres something up with radahns lore and now im WORRIED/FEAR TM

hes my fav and thought that the lore in the base game was all he would get and i was honestly fine with that (heyo another unpopular(?) one to add to my list of favs lol) and was just happy he was mentioned by name bc that one lady NPC at the start-- BUT NOW??? i dont even know if its true but .............

im not gonna say anything more dw, ... i dont even know more anyway, but feel free to tell me bc the not knowing and then see it get discovered on stream might be worse than any spoiler could be (i dont even care about that much anymore)

[oshiawaseni]

While the second opening was disingenuous to the heart of Izuku's solo arc, the actual content of the anime itself has remained quite faithful. Even going so far as to add or change some details to better represent the characters and their feelings. It's almost as if these changes were an amendment to the manga, just in case the manga didn't answer certain questions well enough.

Like the true reason Izuku decided to leave U.A. The manga presents Izuku's loved ones as a group, with Katsuki there as the last person your eyes should look at. But will readers make that connection? With the removal of just one word in the anime, the group part of the sentence, it shows viewers a more solid, concrete reason: It was explicitly because of Katsuki nearly dying.

Another example is how the various translations of Katsuki's line ("waatteru") created fandom friction, and they would flitter between "I know" and "We know," depending on who was translating it.

I always thought it had a very personal "I know" vibe to it because as Katsuki stated, and this is something reminded to us only 3 chapters earlier: He is the person who "knows" Izuku best. The anime removes ambiguity of the I know/We know debate by having Izuku apologise only once he'd made it into Katsuki's arms, making their exchange of words appear even more intimate and direct to one another. Katsuki knows.

Then after he stumbles his way into Katsuki's arms, there is that bonus clip of him being awake to hear Katsuki's gentle forgiveness of him. To express that the last of his resolve has crumbled because of Katsuki’s apology and being held in those arms he feels safe. He feels loved. So Izuku gives himself fully to Katsuki's care, murmuring out his beloved’s name with a "Ka…” right before finally succumbing to sleep. I think this extra moment makes the feel of their apology seem even more romantic… because it's supposed to.

And now Ochaco's handhold! It being featured in the opening gave some of us grief every week simply because this arc was never about IzuOcha, it was about Katsuki and Izuku.

Katsuki realising his need for Izuku to be by his side and losing SLEEP over not knowing if he's okay. Katsuki's proud statement of knowing Izuku best and that he couldn't be left alone because of his disregard for himself. Katsuki instigating the search and rescue of Izuku. Katsuki humbling himself before Endeavor and Nezu, setting aside his pride in exchange for the safety of his most important person and best friend, PLEADING Endeavor for his help because he's SO AFRAID of Izuku being out of his sight and losing him forever.

Katsuki saving Izuku's life again. Katsuki humbling himself a second time, apologising to Izuku and telling him to put some trust into him and their hero friends; that they can be relied on to help him. Katsuki telling him his ideals of saving people weren't wrong, and they can only win by saving everyone: Izuku, the people at U.A and the people in the city.

The beautiful poetry in Izuku’s reason for leaving, to protect his most precious person, being overtaken by his reason to stay: Izuku’s unconditional, everlasting love for that person and his overwhelming need to be by their side. And here Katsuki was, finally telling him it was okay to; he wants him there.

Even Daiki-kun said the last of Izuku's resolve left him because of Kacchan’s heartfelt apology… Yes. The opening’s handhold was really out of place.

And after Izuku is brought back to U.A, we get to the real IzuOcha handhold... But rather than grabbing his hand like she does in the manga, they have her grab the more impersonal wrist area instead. It's so hard to believe we are in a timeline where Bones are making an opening Ocha-centric, when it shouldn't be, and yet NERFING her handhold in the ACTUAL anime content…??????

All of this has got me thinking that maybe Hori himself has been directing Bones to make these changes - to make BkDk's growing love for each other a more prominent fixture in the story that’s almost impossible to miss, while dampening the IzuOcha teasing into little more than kindness between two good friends. And in doing so, the anime has now become spiritually connected to the manga because this is the exact same direction the manga has been going in lately.

Why else were all of these changes and enhancements made in the anime? Maybe it’s because Horikoshi is preparing people for the bkdk romance that's about to go into full bloom.

[3-aem]

MY BRAINS NOT WORKING AND THE CUTE BOY I WORK WITH KEEPS CORRECTING MY GRAMMAR THIS IS SO AHAIWIAKSDHDGRRRRHRNE

[gunsatthaphan]

~ Monthly BL Breakdown: April 2024 ~ 

🌷 Happy May!!! ☀️

Disclaimer: ALL shows can be streamed here or here, as well as on Youtube and other platforms. For more info on where to watch what, check out this post! 

New breakdowns are coming at the end of every month - feel free to add stuff! -> previous breakdowns

What came out this month? (green = seen/currently watching)

🌟 Love is Like a Cat - April 1st (South Korea / Thailand) 

🌟 We Are - April 3rd (Thailand) ✅

🌟 Memory in the Letter - April 6th (Thailand) 

🌟 Living With Him - April 11th (Japan) 

🌟 Gray Shelter - April 11th (South Korea) 

🌟 Beating Again - April 13th (Thailand)

🌟 Blue Boys - April 15th (South Korea)

🌟 At 25:00 in Alasaka - April 18th (Japan)

🌟 GMMTV2024 Part 2 (lineup event) - April 23rd (Thailand) ✅

🌟 Boys Be Brave - April 25th (South Korea) 

🌟 CHANGE2561 2024 lineup event - April 25th (Thailand) ✅

🌟 My Stand-In - April 26th (Thailand) ✅

🌟 City Boy Log Vol. 3 - April 30th (South Korea)

New series & movie announcements

🎥 The Fridge - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Flavor of Us (starring Benjamin B., Dome W. & others) - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Children's Day - Date TBA (Taiwan)

🎥 Blue Time - Date TBA (China, possibly censored)

🎥 Bad Guy My Boss - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Oriental Magician In The Ent. Circle - Date TBA (Taiwan)

🎥 Under the Oak Tree - Date TBA (Vietnam)

🎥 Invitation - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 The Love Matter - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 I Saw You in My Dream - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 I Wish You the Best - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Impression of Youth - Date TBA (Taiwan)

🎥 Meet You at the Blossom - Date TBA (Taiwan)

Other news from the BL world

❗️ The production company Studio WabiSabi announced that their actors Boun N., Prem W., Santa P., Sammy C., Yacht P. and Stamp P. have terminated their contracts and will no longer be artists under the company on April 15th. Shortly after, GMMTV announced the 6 of them as newly signed artists, along with the disclosure that BounPrem's upcoming BL Vampire Project is now being produced under GMMTV, who now also own all broadcasting rights; WabiSabi will function as a co-producer. New S. stated on Twitter that the decisions had been long in the making, as well as the fact that WabiSabi no longer functions as a management agency for actors and is now a mere production company. He also denied the rumors that the company is shutting down. Shortly after the transfer of the Wabi Sabi actors, actor Fluke Jeeratch (formerly Pongsakorn) joined GMMTV as well.

❗️ The Filipino BL Gameboys is getting a third season. An air date has not been confirmed.

❗️ P Ekkapop and Pan Jirachot, the lead actors from Kiseki Chapter 2, have announced a new project together. Details are unknown.

❗️ Actor Barcode Tinnasit has announced his departure from his agency Be On Cloud.

❗️ After some confusion, the Korean production company Studio X+U announced that their upcoming series Fragile - which was initially advertized as a Korean SKAM remake - is in fact not connected to the Norwegian web series and is instead a standalone series, which focuses on the life of a group of teenagers. According to ZUM News, there was supposed to be a Korean SKAM remake based on the Norwegian original, which was however cancelled due to unknown reasons. Fragile was created as a substitution.

❗️ GMMTV held their 2024 part 2 event on April 23rd. The following BL projects were announced:

The Heart Killers (starring FirstKhao & JoongDunk)

Perfect10 Liners (starring ForceBook, PerthChimon, JuniorMark)

Heart That Skips a Beat (starring EstWilliam)

Revamp (starring BounPrem, formerly known as Vampire Project)

Sweet Tooth, Good Dentist (starring MarkOhm)

The Ex-Morning (starring KristSingto)

❗️ The production company CHANGE2561 held their 2024 lineup event on April 25th. The following BL projects were announced:

This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans (starring SailubPon)

Goddess Bless You From Death (starring PavelPooh)

I’m The Most Beautiful Count (starring PingSupanut)

Pit Babe Season 2

Upcoming series & movies for May

👉🏻 You Made My Day (starring Tar A. and Bom T. from I Will Knock You) - May 3rd (Thailand)

👉🏻 Inverse Identity / Upside Down - Mary 3rd (China)

👉🏻 Wandee Goodday - May 4th (Thailand)

👉🏻 A Balloon's Landing - May 10th (Taiwan)

👉🏻 City of Stars: Special Episode - May 10th (Thailand, cinema release)

👉🏻 The Time of Fever (Unintentional Love Story spinoff) - May 15th (South Korea)

👉🏻 Blossom Campus - May 16th (South Korea)

👉🏻 OMG! Vampire - May 19th (Thailand)

👉🏻 Manji Reverse - May 24th (Japan)

👉🏻 My Biker 2 - May 28th (Thailand)

[lollytea]

Huntlow situationship gives me such intense brain termites you don't get it

[lucalicatteart]

A new sculpture! Finally... I feel like I never sculpt anymore since I'm always sick or have some 500 other things going on or projects to finish, but I'm trying to schedule time to do it more often this year hopefully..! Just a generic fantasy creature as usual, but did try making the eyes a little more sparkly this time.. hrmm..

[nuppu-nuppu]

Ignore if you don’t want to read about me being stupid once again

[alterouslyinlove]

how to get validation without seeming annoying or making it obvious that you need validation to survive. puter do you hear me

[littlelightfish]

The hearts don't mean he is in love with no one. The problem with English is how vague of the word love is in his meaning. It envolves different kinds of caring in one single word. But I'll try to express here what I mean.

He cares, as a person, about everyone. This is a basic level of love that he haves towards everybody. He doesn't want anyone to actually die, that's what I mean. He doesn't necesarily cares about someone, but he loves them enough to not want them to die.

He starts befriending someone and gets to know it. He starts liking things about them and disliking others. He starts loving this people in another way, we'll call it liking. This is more a get-to-know phase he doesn't always like. The less he knows, the less reasons to get attached get attached he has. I think this are the kind of love the hearts show in the image. He has to make sure to keep a balance between how much he loves and how much he let's himself be loved. He doesn't want to have misunderstandings. He is in constant fear of "what if I made them love me more and they care more?"

And then it comes the deeply care that love is in the non-romantic way. This care a (good) parent has for his babies. The love that makes people suffer emotionally in an absolute different way from what it could be a heartbreak or a misunderstanding between friends. If something happens to the loved one, the pain is unbearable. It's one of the worst things rhat can happen. And Chilchuck knows this, he is father of three daughters, and his wife left him. She left, he knows the pain it is to come home and find it empty when there should be someone. He knows the guilt it comes with failing those loved ones. The shame. He doesn't like being this vulnerable. This love makes him suffer like no other does. So he is very very carefull of how much he allows himself to care about someone so he won't get to love like this.

He draws a line between work and private life because his private life envolves love and deep care, and he doesn't want to love nor care like this for people who's job is to constantly risk their lifes. He doesn't want to feel the anguish, he doesn't want to feel the loneliness it will come after the unenviable separation of the party.

He tries his best to not get attached to people. To not let people get attached to him. But he fails. He fails and falls downstairs with a whole drum set.

He can't help but to care about this people. He can't help but to love this people he's been living with the past few weeks in the risking of their lifes. He tells himself he's doing this for money and that he doesn't care, but he does.

Those hearts don't mean anything other than him caring about them. He cares about Senshi. He cares about Marcille. He cares about Laios. About Itsuzumi. About Namari. He cares in a way that hurts. He loves this people. He doesn't want to even imagine a world in where they are gone, or suffering, or in problems. They're his friends, they're something he, unwillingly, accepts as family.

He cares about Falin and Mickbell because he doesn't want them dead. He doesn't feel any anguish toward if they do or not get hurt after they're out of his sight. Sure, he cares, but he can live without thinking about them the rest of his days. It doesn't happen like that with Laios. He can't just simply let Laios go and follow Fallin just after he recover consciousness from a punch in the gut. Was it Mickbell, he would let him if he really didn't wanted. But Laios didn't wanted to sit and wait, and he had to care. He had to verbalize to himself that he cared. He had to let them know, so they would act accordingly. So they won't get themselves killed like idiots.

He doesn't want others to fall in romantic love with him. He doesn't feel romantic love towards anyone either. He isn't the man for this kind of love. He is, in fact, afraid of it. He doesn't want to fall in love, because he's still in love with his wife. She left him because he was negligent. But since when has this become the definitive stop for love? Chilchuck knows his wife is angry at him, and she has all the reason to be so! His husband, the one she loved and cared for, gets himself in dangerous situations, treats his body poorly and almost never is home. She loves him, and it hurts her to love like this, so she leaves. Like this she won't have to look at him get himself mistreated like he does. She would have the pull in her's stomach that tells her that he could be in great danger, that she could become a widow, but she tries to calm it with his daughter's mail to him. He could never. He can't imagine a world in wich they cease to exist. A world without his wife, even if she distanced herself, without his daughters, would be a world worthless of living. He knows this. Because he cares and he loves in such a deep level that he is scared of loving anyone else like this. To become so vulnerable to emotion. This vulnerable to something bad happening.

The fact that he is so afraid of loosing his wife, even after she left him, says a lot. He still cares about her. He is still in love with her. He wants to go back to what it was before, but he can't and he know its his fault. And he respects his wife's distance because he loves her. Now, he doesn't love her in the movie way, he isnt in love like a teenager would to his first girlfriend, he doesn't want to kiss her, or hug her, or be by her side at all moments of the day. He loves her. He cares about her deeply, deeply enough that he doesn't need to be by her side to care, to love. He also respects her. He can survive without her because he knows she's better with his daughter. For sure he wants to hug, kiss and be by the side of this person he loves, it would be ideal, but he can survive without thinking about it too much. It's just like with his daughters. They're all adults that now live far from him. And he is ok with it now. He sends mail and recieves mail, and even if he misses greatly, he can manage not to think about it. Because he knows she is allright. Because he knows he fucked up. He doesn't know where he fuked up, but for his wife to leave him, at least he knows he did. They never talked about it, because they both seem to have a problem in expressing themselves. She fell into a bad mood and then she disappeared. The amount of pain he must have felt it's... let's say it's quite big.

He keeps his guard up. He doesn't want to love deeply anyone. He doesn't want to feel the emptiness, the hurt, that comes after someone so dear leaves. He knows for a fact he'll be leaving this people. He knows that they could die. If he loves, it will hurt in a way nothing else hurts. He will miss. He doesn't like missing people he cares like this. This is why he doesn't want to love. This is why he doesn't want to be loved. This is why those hearts that are almost full are his main source of concern. This is why he makes the effort to keep this feelings at bay, to love only in the friendly way and with extreme caution.

But he can't controll his own love. And he ends up caring more and more about these people. He slowly makes him a part of the dangerous love zone that family means. He is afraid to confuse someone about his feelings towards them, so he still tries to maintain distance with his abusive remarks, but this only works so far. He loves and is loved. And because of this he will suffer.

I... I extended myself a bit I see...