#I say second favorite because we all know meep is the favorite

[arolesbianism]

If I had the freedom of not knowing there is going to be future new lore stuff added to oni I would do unspeakable things to so many of these guys. Or Id just make them normal guys who just sorta exist. Either or.

[fernsnailz]

it's time... for the TEAM DARK FEST! 💥💥💥💥

me and @serpentineshine are hosting a little tournament to finally determine who the best Team Dark member is! this week there's gonna be goofs, bits, and even a special prize for the winner 👀

however, the most important prize of all is what awaits at the end of the festival! ...but that's a secret right now.

💥 cast your vote below! 💥

(oh also if anyone makes any propaganda for their fav character. tag me i wanna see)

video transcript below the cut! ⬇️

A blue announcement screen with scrolling text reads “SPECIAL FENSNAILZ ANNOUNCEMENT.” There’s a looping animation of Squeak the cat in the middle. It disappears, cutting to a shot of a studio space.

In the studio, SNAIL, SHINE, SQUEAK, and a VASH PLUSH all sit at a desk with a large CRT TV on it. Squeak and Vash are on top of the TV, and shelves with various items line the walls. Everyone seems to be unaware that the camera is rolling - Snail is reading the script, Shine is drinking from a mug, and Squeak is licking her butthole. Vash remains motionless.

Snail notices the camera zooming in, and throws away the script in a moment of panic. Shine and Squeak sit up to face the camera as well.

SNAIL: Coming at you pre-recorded, it’s Snail, Shine, and The Beasts!

SHINE: We’re here today to announce a special tournament we’re hosting: the TEAM DARK FEST!

SQUEAK: Eep!

VASH: weemp womp :]

SNAIL: You know ‘em, you love ‘em-

SHINE: Or hate them.

SNAIL: It’s all about TEAM DARK this week! Fellas, turn on that TV!

The camera cuts to a close-up of the TV as the screen flips on. Three shitty photos of each Team Dark member appear on the TV under the question “Who is the best member of Team Dark?” Every Team Dark member’s name is misspelled underneath the photos.

SHINE: Time for the ULTIMATE question: Who is the best Team Dark member?

SNAIL: Oof. We’re turning them against each other, huh? That’s dramatic.

SQUEAK: Meep! (HOLY SHIT)

The camera zooms out to a wide view of the studio, but zooms out much further than needed for a split second. For some reason, this is all being filmed on a green screen set, and the shelves behind the cast seem to be edited in. Not only that, but this studio is either widely over-staffed or widely under-staffed, because the boom mic is held by seven Chao stacked on top of each other. The camera zooms into a closeup of Snail before much of this information can be processed.

SNAIL: Well, it’s obviously Shadow. I told him if he won, I would get him ice cream after soccer practice!

The camera pans over to Shine.

SHINE: No way, vote for Rouge! She can carry like. Nineteen mountain lions. Give or take

The camera pans over to Squeak and Vash. Squeak points at a crude drawing of Omega that seems to say “VOTE OMEGA.” It is upside down. Vash holds a cute little sign that says “I <3 OMEGA” that he likely made himself.

SQUEAK + VASH: ?????????????? (we didn’t hire anyone to translate this part.)

Back in a wide shot, Snail and Shine stare blankly at Squeak and Vash. Squeak licks her butthole again. Vash is now Real. Someone off-screen sneezes very convincingly.

SHINE: This poll will run for ONE WEEK before we announce the winner! So little time…

SNAIL: Everyone make your vote count! The winner of this festival will have a special page in my… 

An image of a porcelain snail appears over a white background as an echo-y human voice says “SECRET UPCOMING PROJECT.”

VASH: bweep bwaa :] (Yay! Prizes!)

SHINE: The final verdict will be decided by Twitter AND Tumblr, so commit as much voter fraud as you please!

Squeak bites Vash and he screams. They both fall off the TV and make a surprising amount of noise. Snail and Shine stare in shock.

SNAIL: See you in seven days! And hey, if you want to participate… tag me in any propaganda you make to fight for your favorite Team Dark member!

Squeak and Vash explode.

[waitformethistime]

The Star Beast review

I remember RTD getting announced to return and the fandom acting like he "saved" the show. Now mind you, I didn't love Chibnall's era (and had my complaints about Moffat too) but to act as if RTD was the sacred cow was just irritating.

That being said, lets get into his second debut.

We start with Ten- sorry I mean Fourteen running into Donna. Now Donna was always a favorite of mine so I'm relieved to see shes in top form here. She immediately roasts Fourteen upon seeing him (with a wink and a nod to Tennant no longer being 35 years old) and that's very On Brand for her.

Then we get [sigh] Rose. No, not Billie Piper. Rose Noble. Donna's 15 year old daughter. For starters, her age makes no sense. How can she be 15 if Donna only lost her memory 15 years ago? Did she get hitched and pregnant the very next day? You could hand wave this by saying shes a stepdaughter, but no. RTD wants to make it clear she is Donna's daughter. Her trans daughter to be exact. So let's get into that.

I love that shes trans and that shes played by an actual trans actress. The representation has been long overdue. I love that Donna is such a good and accepting mum and that even Sylvia (a character I previously didnt care for) redeems herself by being a good grandma to Rose, even if she slips up sometimes. Shes trying, which is more than she ever did for Donna.

That being said, Rose is little more than a plot device. Her only real purpose is to introduce our alien, the Meep, and then save the Doctor and Donna with her magical transgenderism (I'll get to that in a second), which is a shame because Yasmin Finney is lovely.

Now let's get into the metacrisis. I always thought this plotline was stupid and the way its resolved is even stupider. Turns out Donna won't actually die if she remembers The Doctor (duh!) because she transferred some of her "Doctor-ness" to Rose...somehow. Now I couldn't tell if RTD was saying that Rose was trans because of the metacrisis energy or if the reason the metacrisis didnt affect her is because shes trans, but either way, it didnt make much sense. How is she able to "remember" things that happened before she was even born? It was convoluted and reminded me a lot of River Songs origins in a bad way. Convoluted is Moffats thing. I don't need it from RTD too.

But wait it gets better. We still have to figure out what to do with the metacrisis energy right? So how do they get rid of it? They simply just "let it go" with their womanly superiority (no really). We get this corny exchange about how 14 is "Male-presenting" and therefore doesn't know how to let things go because of it. Excuse me what? Did RTD watch any of 13's era at all? She was an emotional trainwreck. Callous, dishonest, passive-aggressive and quite vengeful too. And she was a woman. You wanna know who was the Doctor that had to let things go? Literally his last line is "I let you go"? The one who had to let go of his companion because he was hurting both of them? The one who learned to forgive, not just the Master, but also Davros, of all people? It was 12, the old white guy. Swing and a miss, RTD. That was a corniness I would expect from his first era, with Jesus!Ten. I expected some kind of growth since then. I also just felt like I was being lectured and I got quite enough of that from the last era, thank you very much.

This sounds negative so far, so let's look at the positives!

Tennant + Tate are incredible together as usual. I like that 14 is more emotionally honest than any of his previous predecessors (and 13 was getting there at the end so it's a natural progression imo). Love the alien designs. The Meep is so cute. I saw the twist of it being evil a mile away, but it's cute so I'll let it slide. The Wrarth are also cool. Just dudes in suits as Doctor Who aliens should be lol.

Didn't appreciate the Donna death fakeout because I knew RTD wouldnt actually go through with it and it felt cheap, but the acting in the scene was top-notch.

The new opening is cool and I love the new Tardis. You can tell that's where all the budget went lol. It's like a beautiful mix of 11, 12, and the Classics and it looks huge. You can tell Tennant was having a blast with it.

The Doctor actually took the initiative to not regenerate in the tardis this time and it still gets blown up. Poor tardis...

Some other thoughts:

since when can the Sonic create forcefields? I don't care for that. And 14's non-reaction was weird. Shouldn't he be surprised his tool got an upgrade? Also the fact that his clothes regenerated too with no explanation is dumb. Were they too afraid to put Tennant in Whittaker's clothes? It's not like she was wearing a handmaiden dress.

Also they kept asking "why this face?" Which is valid but my theory for why the regeneration went all wonky in the first place is because the Master fucked it up somehow when he tried to steal them in Power of the Doctor. I'd like for RTD to bring that up but I'm not holding my breath. That would require actually acknowledging other eras besides his own exist.

Overall, this was kind of a mid-tier RTD episode and very underwhelming for an anniversary special. Heres hoping it gets better in the next 2.

[litcityblues]

Doctor Whoquest Returns: The 60th Anniversary Specials

Oh, you thought it was all done, huh? Haven't you learned by now that Doctor Who never really goes away- it just goes into mild hibernation and then comes anew, renewed and ready for more adventures across time and space?

So, here we are again, friends: back for more this time with the 60th Anniversary Specials and a new twist in the Doctor Who-niverse: the House of Mouse has arrived and they've come with money! And you can absolutely tell! (The budget is definitely bigger, the effects more polished-- which I think is a good thing, because with HD and 4K and Super Ultra Duper 4K these days, the rough and ready charm of Doctor Who effects that you could overlook or see-through in the old days when televisions weighed a ton and a half and the picture quality was less than great was getting more and more noticeable.)

I saw some rumblings of discontent with the Disney thing was announced and my only trepidation with all of this is that Disney will somehow not learn the lessons of the MCU and think 'Ooooh, a shiny new franchise' and then drown us all in the firehose of content that will have to diminish returns of quality. Personally, I think both Marvel and Disney have learned their lesson in that regard. Star Wars was trending in that direction but seems to have backed off somewhat, so I'm less concerned about them than I was. More money is good. More possibilities are also good. I'm going to say that this is good and continue in that position until I'm proved wrong.

But, the 60th Anniversary Specials:

Where we left off was Jodi Whittaker regenerating into the 14th Doctor which is all fine, well, and good except for the fact that 14 has 10's face and nobody-- including the Doctor is quite sure why. He lands back in London- for the start of the first special, The Star Beast, where he comes across Donna Noble (Catherine Tate) who does not remember him but has a husband, Shaun (Karl Collins), and a daughter named Rose. (Yasmin Finney) Doctor Who being Doctor Who, an alien ship crashes and the Doctor goes to investigate and soon discovers that Wrarth is in pursuit of something called the Meep (Cecily Fay, voiced by Miriam Margolyes) who in a twist that is really excellent, but you should probably see coming, turns out to be the villain of the special.

In short, the Doctor is forced to reawaken Donna's memories and is expecting her to die-- but with Rose's birth, part of the metacrisis that infected her has now passed onto Rose, making it less fatal for Donna, and together, she and Rose expel the metacrisis and everything's fine- until the Doctor shows Donna his new TARDIS and she spills coffee on something, sending it spinning out of control and to destinations unknown.

(This might be my favorite special. I think it was a really clever way to bring Donna back into the series and the chemistry between Tennant and Tate is unmatched as usual. You can tell Russell T. Davies is back as well because broad hints and foreshadowing begin almost immediately. I know much was made from the 'hurr durr durr woke trans woke' crowd, but the fact that Donna's daughter was trans didn't bother me. It's not unheard of in the modern world and if it makes you feel better, you could also chalk that up to the meta crisis being part of her genetic makeup as well. If you've got memories of being multiple people of multiple genders and don't really know why, how might it manifest in you, a regular human person? My general feeling is that: if it makes sense to the story, I don't care and it made sense for the character and the story, so I don't care.)

The second special, Wild Blue Yonder really showed off the potential of what a Disney budget can do with special effects, but it also leaned into The Doctor + Companion alone on a ship where weird and frankly creepy things start to happen.

After Donna's coffee mishap, they wind up on a ship at the end of the universe and have to figure out what the heck is going on. They find robots and eventually, aliens that appear as doppelgangers of each other and grow and shrink and unhinge their jaws and attempt to eat them and get really, really big and that's a fun plot development where they have to figure out who's real and who's not and The Doctor very nearly goes off with the Not-Donna, but realizes at the last second and swoops back into save her. The doppelgangers are from beyond the Universe and want to escape and get back to where all the exciting stuff is happening- which is in the universe, there, of course, they want to do things like eat people and cause chaos, but eventually, the ship blows up and the Doctor and Donna escape and land back in Camden Mark, where they are greeted by Wilfred Mott (Bernard Cribbens in his final role) who is overjoyed to see them both, but warns them that danger is afoot and they need the Doctor's help to solve it.

Which brings us to the final special, The Giggle.

The Doctor and Donna are taken to UNIT, where they reunite with Kate Lethbridge-Stewart (Jemma Redgrave) and former companion and friend Melanie Bush (Bonnie Langford)-- the Doctor determines that the worldwide plague of violence is due to a video from 1925 and soon realizes that it is a very old enemy of his indeed: The Celestial Toymaker (Neil Patrick Harris.)

He traps them both in his domain of twisting mazes and puzzles and eventually the Doctor and The Toymaker play a game of cards, which The Toymaker wins- but the Doctor points out that he won their last meeting, so they're tied and The Toymaker decides on a tiebreaker in the present day and transports them back to the present day where he attacks UNIT and reasons that since he's faced two separate incarnations of the Doctor in the prior two games, he needs to face another and mortal injuries the Doctor with a laser cannon, which triggers his regeneration.

But instead of one Doctor, they split in two.

The Fifteenth Doctor (Ncuti Gatwa) teams up with the 14 and challenges the Toymaker to a game of catch which they win, banishing The Toymaker from existence and sealing him in a box which is then confiscated by UNIT.

On the TARDIS, 15 tells 14 he needs to recover from the extensive traumas that his past incarnations have accumulated across their lives- and Donna points out that going back to his old face might be his subconscious way of recognizing that need and tells him to settle down with her family and to retire from traveling. 14 agrees, but doesn't want to leave the TARDIS behind-- but 15, realizing that the Toymaker's rules of play still apply, takes a mallet from the TARDIS and gives the TARDIS a smack to create another TARDIS, which he then flies off with, leaving 14 to settle down with Donna and her family.

Doctor Who gets anniversary specials really well and The Giggle might be the best of the bunch, in terms of the wider franchise. It's a nice call back to the 50th Anniversary special when 11 meets 'The Curator' (Tom Baker) who advises him that he might well be revisiting old faces in the future and this neatly makes that come true AND sets up 14 to gradually become 'The Curator' which is a nice touch. Ncuti Gatwa makes an excellent debut here (we'll discuss his first special in the next installment) and I love the return of Melanie Bush, old companion and UNIT, and the very very deep cut of bringing back The Celestial Toymaker, who hadn't been seen since 1966!

Overall: It's nice to see Doctor Who back and I'm ready for more! If I've got to rank these specials, I'd say:

The Star Beast

The Giggle

Wild Blue Yonder

I will say that all of them are really good in their own way, but I loved the return of the show in The Star Beast and The Giggle neatly answers questions and goes deep into franchise lore to get their villain- which I love! Wild Blue Yonder wasn't bad either and really embraces the weird and creepy, but it just... wasn't as good as the other two.

[fulltimesapphic]

Ok so Dr Who thoughts

Obviously spoliers

He’s literally standing like

🧍

I think it’s so funny that he just puts the box back on the stack once he sees it’s her.

His confusion with Roses name is so funny to me, eventually he just like gave up

I forget her name, the badass UNIT person, who has MOTHERFUCKING BOMBS IN HER WHEELS!!! Most UNIT people who meet the Doctor are like “oh I’ve wanted to meet you all my life” and then this bad ass bitch is like “you wish”

I LOVE how they’re approaching Rose being trans, how it’s been difficult for Sylvia o adjust but how protective Donna is of Rose. Like Sylvia wasn’t the greatest mother to Donna so Donna makes sure that Rose knows she is proud of her and how much she loves her.

The Meep was such a plot twist.

Rose being like “uhm, just gonna assume?” And the Doctor is like “yeah your totally right, I’m sorry” I love it when characters who are right put him is his place. When characters who aren’t right do it, it’s annoying.

Donna just being Donna is amazing and I don’t think I realized how much I missed her until this.

The Doctor handing Donna the screwdriver is just like instinct to the both of them and i love it

When watching this my mom said that the guy sleeping should have been James Cordon’s character from 11 and I totally agree

When he got out of the car I was like “ohhhh he’s got his grumpy face on, shit here we go”

The wig

Are you flipping kidding me

Again, the fucking Meep, what the shit

Donna like doing things that are just like instinct to her cause things are making sense again.

When he says “you can’t get involved” Donna’s like don’t tell me what to do skinny man” it’s her bitch face and I love it.

DOCTORDONNA IS FUCKING BACK AND I LOVE IT

This whole ep Donna hasn’t really been the Donna we knew, and I get that the passage of time will change people, but it didn’t feel right then she was Donna fucking Noble again. I was so happy

That little short out goodbye was really sweet

Rose being the genius that she deserves to be

When I heard that Donna’s daughter was gonna be named Rose, I thought it was because Donna had like this instinct to name her Rose cause of Rose Tyler but Rose picking it because of the Metacrisis was awesome too

Donna is right that if Rose stepped into the TARDIS something would’ve gone wrong, something did go wrong but it’s Donna and the Doctor again so it’s fine.

Wilf will love to see the Doctor (with that face) and Donna (with her memories) together again. Hopefully that’s is the third special, Bernard Cribbins filmed stuff for this before he passed (rip), so holding out hope.

Puppy dog eyes from the Doctor and Donna for the win

The new TARDIS looks so fun, it looks very real and practical so that’s awesome. Hopefully Donna spilling it and setting it on fire doesn’t mean that 15 has a different one.

All the walkways are amazing for an ADHD time lord who gets the zoomies. Like the second he put his coat down he was zooming and when he was at the panel he was fiddling with everything. This is probably my second favorite console room, the first being 12s

The Doctor remembering the way Donna likes her coffee is just so wholesome I’m gonna be sick

I don’t like how they’re talking about his just visiting, that’s not how he rolls and it also makes me scared that Donna’s gonna die and he’s gonna wish he said yes

Donna spilling the coffee in to the console 5 minutes after entering the TARDIS again is such a Donna thing to do.

Dude you need a fire extinguisher nearby at all times. The sonic should have that setting.

I’m very satisfied with how they kept Donna alive and it’s not something outerworldly like a weird alien drink or something. It’s just her awesome daughter.

My brother and mother had no idea that Yasmin Finney was trans and they were kinda shocked, I only knew cause of Heartstopper, she is so pretty.

[fuckinuchihas]

Would it be possible to request for Oikawa where he has a crush on a Karasuno student and every time he tries to talk to them he becomes a blushing stuttering mess and he hates it because he's usually so confident? Something fluffy~ Gender neutral is fine but if you don't mind, can you make them more like "one of the boys"/tomboyish if possible? It said your requests are open, I hope I didn't misread and I hope this is okay!

So heyyy....umm I hope this is ok!

Pairing: Oikawa/Reader

Rating: T for language (one fbomb I think)

Fluff

Practice games are just as important as matched games in Toru’s opinion and he takes each and every single one seriously.

Especially against Karasuno.

He isn’t going to let his guard down against them, not with that cocky smirk on Tobio’s face.

His tongue pokes out a bit as he steadies his arm for the perfect serve.

The game hasn’t started yet, it’s just warm ups but a few of the Karasuno players are watching him with rapt attention and he feels his confidence grow.

He throws the volleyball into the air, gets started on his run and then his hand comes down perfectly aimed to hit it just right and swoosh, it’s headed in a direct path to the opposite side of the net.

It bounces against the floor with a hard smack and then it pops back into the air before-

“STRAY!” He hears and then there’s someone standing there, just holding his serve ball like it didn’t bounce back up with incredible force and Toru blinks and gapes.

“Sorry about that!” he hears Nishinoya call out.

Then they just toss his serve ball back to the salty Karasuno middle blocker like it’s nothing. Like they didn’t just catch a serve rebound flying at top speed.

Toru feels his heart start pounding wildly in his chest as he watches you make your way around the edge of the court.

‘What is this feeling?’ he wonders to himself as the whistle blows and his attention is back on the game.

Aoba Johsai win all three games in straight sets, he feels a bit smug despite the exhaustion settling in.

Now that he doesn’t have to focus on the matches his eyes wander around the gym trying to get another glimpse of you.

Unfortunately word has gotten out about the star setter of Seijoh being at Karasuno campus and the fangirls are already vying for his attention.

He pastes on his fake smile and shows them the proper gratitude for their support.

He is grateful after all, he just also feels a little disappointed.

The next time he sees you it’s completely on accident again, he’s taking Takeru to the movies and you’re standing at the counter alone with an armload of popcorn, a large soda, and some candy too.

The more he sees you the more intrigued he becomes.

You’re just-you’re nothing like what he’s used to.

“Uncle Toru!” Takeru says, grabbing his attention and also making you turn your head.

“What is it, Takeru?” he says, trying to pay attention but his gaze drifts back to you without permission.

“Why are you staring at them? You’re acting like a creep!”

‘What?” he yelps, as your gaze moves over him almost absently and then to Takeru with a small smile.

This kid.

“Takeru, we’re going to be playing the quiet game indefinitely if you don’t stop embarrassing me in front of people,” he says through gritted teeth.

You don’t hear the words come out of his mouth but the expression tells you all you need to know and you chuckle before turning back to your date with yourself.

He watches as you head into the theater with the latest action movie banner over it.

He’s not opposed to action movies but he had kind of hoped you’d have chosen the animated film that he’d planned to see with Takeru.

“Toru, can we watch that instead?” he asks, pointing to where you disappeared into the theater.

One thing he’ll say for his nephew, Takeru knows how to take advantage of a situation.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Takeru. Your mother would kill me…” he says, guiding the kid toward the snack counter instead of the ticket booth.

“I’m almost twelve now!” he says, looking up at Toru with an unflattering gaze.

“Pfft...I’m not stupid, kid.”

“Yeah...sure,” he says, a painfully sarcastic eye roll tacked on for good measure.

“Why are you so mean to me? I’m your favorite uncle!”

“You’re literally my only uncle…”

Toru pouts but nobody gives him a second glance.

“Great King?” Hinata asks, and Toru meeps before putting a hand over Shortie's mouth.

“Shh…” he says, and Shoyo looks at him with confusion etched on his face.

“Why are you here? Did you come to spy on us?” Hinata asked with wide eyes. Maybe Kageyama wasn’t the only one who was nervous about their upcoming match.

“I’m just here looking for some-for a friend,” he says, eyes darting around the gym through the small window.

“Oh, okay...who is it? Maybe I can help you find them!” Shortie says, with that same passionate enthusiasm that he springs up with on the court.

Toru assesses the odds of Hinata picking up a clue that maybe he and you aren’t exactly friends but then he remembers Tobio usually keeps control of their shared brain cell and spills his guts.

“Do you remember the practice match we had?”

“Yea the one last week? “

“That’s the one...I was warming up and I hit my spike,”

“Yeah and it was like SWOOOSH and POW against the court and even Nishinoya senpai couldn’t pick it up...it was soo awesome,” Hinata says, stars sparkling in his eyes.

Toru felt the old familiar pride in himself start to grow.

“Yes, exactly. Well it bounced and then someone caught it...do you remember who that was?”

“Oooh yeah, I know them. But they’re not here, they work part time at that place with the big neon sign out front. The one across from the coach's store!”

Toru says a quiet thank you for the blind gullibility of an idiot and nods. “Thank you, Shortie. I might just consider this worthy of an I owe you.”

“Oh it’s no problem but...why don’t you just text them?” he asks, tilting his head to the side.

“You’re right, I should do that. Well this has been fun but I’m leaving now...you should work on those receives. Catching them with your face might be fun to watch but it’s not going to put the ball where it needs to go.”

Before Hinata can go off he turns to leave with a wide grin.

The walk there isn’t long and he checks out the familiar sight of Sakanoshita and then turns his head.

“Hmm…” he says to himself. It’s not exactly what he’d expected but Shrimpy is a lot of things, but capable of lying isn’t one of them.

He slips in the door looking around as if he’s interested in what’s on the shelves though a glimpse of you is really what he’s waiting for.

Toru keeps glancing over to the counter while he distractedly pretends to browse.

In fact he is so focused on keeping an eye out for you that he nearly jumps out of his skin when you say, “Can I help you with anything?” from right behind him.

He’s not sure whether his heart is pounding so fast in his chest because of the literal fear that is tingling under his skin or the fact that you are unexpectedly standing so close.

He backs away into the shelf, wincing a bit when a few items fall onto the floor.

Blood rushes to his ears and neck as he forces himself to turn around and start to pick things up.

“No I-I’m fine,” he says, hiding his awkwardness as best he can given the floor has yet to open up and swallow him whole.

“Y’know, you’re nothing like I expected…” you say, chuckling to yourself a bit as you try to help with the misplaced items.

“You-you know who I am?” he says in a voice that sounds almost nothing like himself. Toru Oikawa isn’t some meek, mild mannered blubbering mess. He’s confident in himself and his skills both on and off the court.

But then he sees your eyes, and the tiny smile dancing on your lips and he’s somehow a whole new person.

“Of course. I might not follow Volleyball as closely as some but I’m pretty sure there are slugs living under rocks that know who you are,” you chuckle, replacing the last item onto the shelf before standing back up to your full height.

“Yes...well I am the best setter in Miyagi,” he says, trying to find his confidence again.

“One of, sure,” you say and there’s a sly smirk on your lips as you think of Tobio-kun.

(cue unamused emoji face)

“Oh, and I suppose you think Tobio is better?” he says, feeling vaguely jealous and angry all at once.

“I wouldn’t really know,” you say, shrugging a bit. “Honestly I just know that he credits you a lot for teaching him everything he knows and that seems like such a waste if you can’t appreciate it properly.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well you’re rivals, I get that...but also another way to look at it is not only are you one of the best-”

“THE best.”

“Fine, even if you’re THE BEST setter in Japan, or even all of the world...you have a legacy now. It’s not just your own skill that you can depend on but that of your junior…” you say with a soft shrug. “Honestly that feels just as important to me.”

Toru blinks at you a few times before you offer a short wave goodbye and make your way back toward the counter.

He decides it will be best to get out of there as soon as possible.

When he rounds the corner, Toru presses back against the cool brick of the building behind him and lets his head fall back.

This feeling...it’s new. It’s intense...it’s fuck-its unlike anything he’s ever felt before.

Is he actually...flattered?

Impressed?

Is he...is he in love?

No, that’s silly.

Toru Oikawa doesn’t do love.

He plays at it, he feeds it to his fans but he doesn’t actually feel it.

The wind whips at his face and he turns away from it. He’s not sure how just yet but somehow this is Tobio’s fault...he just knows it.

Once he confronts his feelings, it takes a while but he comes back to you.

Over and over he shows up where you are and tries his best to make polite conversation despite the nervous flutters in his stomach or the way heat seems to blossom in his cheeks anytime you playfully tease him about anything.

If you’re standing too close there’s at least a thirty percent chance he’s going to knock into something and either he’ll have a bruise or you’ll be picking stuff up off the floor all over again.

It settles a bit the more you get to know one another but he can still be surprisingly adorable with pink cheeks and shaky words when you do something to catch him off guard.

If only the tabloids could see him now.

You shoot hoops together, he cooks for you on occasion, and you share your rougher edges with him.

Yet he doesn’t walk away...

It’s actually kind of nice to feel like you can be yourself with him.

You expect him to be a lot more of a skeeze but he’s patient and to be honest he moves at an even slower pace than you would. You give it time though, because he might be thinking he’s doing it for you or he might just be taking the slow road for himself and you’re in no rush.

If he’s willing to stay by your side, then being patient is the easiest part.

MASTERLIST

[neh-sekssi]

stupor | sunwoo

Note: I can’t believe I finished my first smut piece!!! Writing smut is harder than I thought since I’m a visual person (😐 what who said that what 😗) but I can’t wait to post more (aka the drafts sitting in my Google Drive hehe). I didn’t come across a lot of Sunwoo fics so I’m just gonna throw this one out there. I think it’s fairly simple for my first one. Stay thirsty, my friends.

Pairing: sunwoo x reader (female)

Synopsis: You finally go home with your boyfriend Sunwoo after a drunken Saturday night out with friends. Although your evening went well, the look on Sunwoo’s face says otherwise. However, the night isn’t over, and you both know it’s going to be a long one.

Word Count: 2.1k

Smut Warning: bondage, blindfold, fingering, sub!reader dom!sunwoo, grinding, teasing, dry humping, masturbation, lil bit of oral but not really (f. receiving), **i swear it’s consensual even though it sounds like it isn’t :”(

“You embarrassed me this evening,” Sunwoo exasperates as he sets the house keys on the table.

You shut the door behind you and kick off your shoes before stumbling onto the couch. You let out a relieving sigh as you finally lie down, closing your eyes to keep the room from spinning.

“Can you get me water pleaaase?” You ask lightheartedly. You slowly open your eyes to Sunwoo peering down at you.

“Fine, but can you situate yourself in the bedroom? Since you said you can take care of yourself,” he sighs, the passive aggressiveness undoubtedly hinging on his last sentence. You pretend not to hear him and turn onto your side with your back facing the couch. You hear the filtered water dispenser momentarily before he comes back and hands you a glass of cold water. You sit up and chug the entire thing in one go.

Sunwoo rolls his eyes. “Thirsty much?” He takes the glass and disappears again into the kitchen. However, instead of returning to you, he walks towards the bedroom and glares at you as he passes by. “If you want it, come get it,” he hisses, disappearing behind the door.

You trip on your own two feet when making it to the bedroom, then throw yourself head first onto the bed. You reach for the glass of water on the nightstand to your left as you lie on your stomach, too lazy to move another inch.

“I’m still mad at you, you know,” Sunwoo mutters by the closet parallel to the bed. His back faces you as he removes his shirt while staring into the closet to look for something. You turn and rest your head on your arms to face him, still lying down. The room spins faster when you close your eyes but at the same time you enjoy the rush you feel at the back of your head.

“I wasn’t that drunk,” you claim.

Sunwoo continues to stare at the closet, hands on his hips, with his focus more so on the top shelf. “I don’t mind taking care of you when we go out but I don’t like how you behave once you drink more than you can handle.”

“I can act sober when I want to… if I need to,” you state.

“Oh really?” He turns around and tilts his head at you, raising his eyebrows to let his sarcasm speak for itself. You peek one eye open to meet his gaze. “You got us kicked out of the club because you couldn’t walk straight. The guards asked us to leave and you tried to fight them. You get so aggressive when you’re drunk and I don’t like it.”

“I mean it’s not like I physically threw myself onto them. I just used really big words and their feelings got hurt,” you shrug.

“Speaking of throwing yourself onto people, should I even mention how you acted with my friends tonight?” He rolls his eyes and turns back towards the closet. Your eyes immediately open again and fall downward because you didn’t know how to respond.

“I was just being friendly! I’m friendly with everyone! It isn’t a big deal. Plus, they have their own partners anywayㅡ I mean too...” you confidently snap back at him. Sunwoo doesn’t bother to turn around but instead reaches into the closet and reveals a black medium keepsake box. He walks towards the bed and places it on the edge of his side of the mattress. You squint at him, trying to clear your blurred vision. You slowly blink a couple of times but when you refocus, Sunwoo completely disappears from your sight. Right as you’re about to turn over, you feel two knees on either side of you, straddling you helpless.

“Turn around,” Sunwoo demands in his low voice. You flip onto your back and see Sunwoo hovering over you. His bare chest towers over you like a skyscraper blocking the morning sunlight. His eyes lock onto yours and you instantly fall under his spell. His anger still burns within them but the way he bites his bottom lip is a clear signal of what he’s about to do to you.

“Hands,” he says as he holds out one of his own, waiting for your obedience. You slowly raise your hands as if making an offering to a God. In his other hand appears black velcro bed straps that he hid behind his back. He wastes no second restraining your wrists to both sides of the headboard. The only sound in the room was the velcro being adjusted by Sunwoo to ensure you had no means of escape.

“You need to learn a lesson.” He pulls out a blindfold from his pocket and immediately ties it around your eyes. With your vision black, the alcohol makes your head spin again. You become more aware of your breathing as your chest sinks deeper into the mattress. You begin to pulse in your underwear and try to make it less obvious. You won’t let him get his way this quickly.

Sunwoo climbs off of the bed and you hear his pants unzip and drop to the floor. You squeeze your thighs in an effort to hide your arousal. It hasn’t even been five seconds before you feel his strong hands spread you apart. Before you can say anything, a warm body snakes on top of you and a hot breath whispers into your ear.

“You aren’t leaving my sight tonight.”

Soft, tender kisses caress your neck and you hang your head to the side to indicate you want more. His full, lush lips are your favorite feature because he knows how to use them on your weak spot. You can’t help but whimper as you throb and ache for him. His hard-on rubs between your thighs and you buck your hips to try and feel it deeper. He retracts his own to avoid your attempts to get any more friction. The kisses stop and you feel the cold wetness from his saliva on your neck.

“Sunwoo. P-please kiss me,” you begged. “You want me, baby?” He asks you. You quickly nod your head.

You suddenly feel his tongue where his lips were. Instead of gentle kisses, he sucks and bites your neck a little at a time. You gasp from the immediate change of pace and your underwear becomes wetter. He grinds his dick on your pants to make sure you feel every inch. “Oh my god Sunwoo. Please. I need you,” you whine. He stops sucking on your neck and strokes harder. His hot breath whispers in your ear, “You sure about that? What happened to taking care of yourself?” Two fingers are shoved into your mouth and you suck it instinctively. He curls his fingers to hint what else he plans to do with you which turns you on even more. He lightly moans in your ear and licks the soft spot beneath it.

Sunwoo gets off and removes your pants as slow as he possibly can. You squirm in frustration, desperately thrusting the air for his touch. He laughs quietly at your agony. He straddles you and positions himself between your legs. He pushes his lower body on your underwear, trying to make you wetter. You match his pace, hoping to move the thin layers that stood in the way of your skin and his. He finally slides your underwear off and the cold air rushes over you. Yet, you still feel fabric on your legs. “Fuck Sunwoo, just fuck me already. Stop being a fucking tease.”

“So aggressive. How bad do you want me?” His deep voice turned you on even more. You reply in heavy breaths.

“So. Fucking. Bad.”

You feel his underwear become wet from all the grinding. “You were bad tonight. You aren’t getting away so easily.” He lies on top of you with his bare chest touching your shirt. He sucks on your neck again and matches his thrusts with each bite. Your breathing becomes ragged and you moan softly. He holds the back of your neck with his right hand, his left arm wrapped around your back to keep you still.

His warm lips finally meet yours. He kisses you passionately and pushes his tongue inside your mouth. You swallow each other’s moans as if each one was a gulp of water. Just as soon as it started, Sunwoo pulls away and takes off his underwear. He thrusts his hips into yours again, and you finally feel his shaft on your skin. Your body jolts upward in desperation to rub yourself on it. It’s absolute torture and you couldn’t handle it anymore. He whispers in your ear, “You’re so wet, baby. You’re thirsty for me, aren’t you?” You moan back, “Ugh, yes daddy.”

His entire length slams into you without warning.

“FUCK.”

His voice catches in the back of his throat. He pulls out and breathes deeply to recompose himself. “Please daddy.” He shoves his dick inside you and starts to thrust at a fast pace. You hear a hand smack the headboard above you as his left hand grips your body for leverage. “Oh my god. You’re so fucking wet.” He pushes deeper inside you and groans as he feels your walls tightening. You arch your back and grip your restraints for dear life, moaning loudly.

“Oh, Sunwoo. I want you to fuck me ‘til I’m numb.” Your black vision heightens your sensitivity and you feel a wave of euphoria rush to the back of your head. You want to see the look on his face so badly, the way he furrows his brows when he thrusts, the way his eyes shut when he pushes his hips deeper, the way he licks then bites his lips when he wants more of you.

He groans then stops to unbutton your shirt. You shiver as the air greets your exposed chest. He adorns your neck with hungry bites and eventually makes his way down your torso. Goosebumps trail along your back with each kiss. Sunwoo kisses the spot right above your entrance, teasing you. You writhe in bed because it’s impossible to stay still. You feel him smile against your skin. Suddenly, his tongue slowly glides up your slit, sucking your clit last. He kisses your inner thighs, knowing how ruthless that was. “FUCK, SUNWOO.” He laughs at your misery.

“Will you behave from now on?”

“Yes, PLEASE. ANYTHING for you. PLEASE.”

“Come for me then.”

Without hesitation, he slides two fingers inside of you. His hand works like magic as his thumb presses on your clit. You get even wetter by feeling how easily his fingers slip in and out. He replaces his thumb with his tongue and curls his fingers with each move. His tongue plays with your clit in his mouth which sends you on your final high. Your back arches at its peak, toes curl and dig into the mattress, hands gripping firmly onto the restraints. You moan his name loudly as you clench yourself and cum flows onto the bed.

Sunwoo takes off your blindfold. It takes a few seconds to adjust to the light but by the time your eyes focus, you see Sunwoo touching himself and biting his lips. “I need to see that face of yours,” he grunts. The sight of his bare body turned you on again. His hair sticking to his forehead, chest glistening with sweat. His eyes pierce yours and you’re instantly throbbing with arousal as if he flicked on a light switch. His brows furrow with anticipation and he shuts his eyes as he reaches his climax. With heavy breaths and a few last grunts, his cum drips onto your stomach and a grin grows on both of your faces.

He gets off the bed, walks toward you and kisses you deeply. It was a moment of gratitude and bliss but he teased you once again by pushing his tongue into your mouth and biting your bottom lip before pulling away. You let out a whine and he smiles at you, then reaches for your glass of water on the nightstand.

“Thirsty much?” You ask him.

He checks you out from head to toe. You were a hot mess with your hair in disarray, shirt unbuttoned and body sticky with both of your fluids. He chugs the water then helps you drink the rest since you were still tied up.

“Can you take these off now?”

Sunwoo smirks. “What do you mean?” He places the empty glass back on the stand. “I’m not finished with you.”

[duncanxtrent]

For the prompt thingy... Duncan and Trent as camp counselors... maybe ? 👀 Like they both take care of some kiddos and they are on diffrent teams so they have a friendly rivalry but they are crushing on each other. Or something idk jfjfkfk

(OMG SOMEONE ACTUALLY ASKED AND ITS ONE OF MY FAVORITE DUNTRENT ARTISTS YBUGKGUF)

Anyways

Wawanakwa Rivalry

Duncan quietly woke up inside the counselors cabin. He looks over and sees Trent peacefully snoring away. He smiles and gets up to put on some pants. Once hes fully uniformed, he takes a look at the schedule.

Once hes sure of the schedule, he walks up and bangs on the door of the Killer Bass cabin.

“Wake up guys! Its almost breakfast!” Duncan shouts.

Taka instantly opens the door, fully dressed in uniform.

“Ready to start the day, sir!”

(Yes I made the DR kiddos the camp kids leave me alone.)

Duncan laughs and ruffles Takas hair as Taka stands near the door. Groggily, Makoto, Kyoko, Sayaka, Leon, Chihiro, And Aoi make their way out of the cabins. Duncan does a quick headcount, but then makes a strange face.

“Wheres Mondo?” He asks

“Hes still asleep” Leon groans

“Ill go get him!” Taka says stomping inside the cabin. Soon he drags out a very tired and Groggy Mondo from inside.

“Its too early for this. Just let me go the fuck to bed.” Mondo curses.

“Trust me. I also think its too early for this kid.” Duncan smiles. “But if you sleep any longer, you’ll miss todays french toast!”

That instantly seemed to get Mondos attention. Because he instantly ripped his arm from Takas hand, ran inside, stressed himself, and came back out to the other students.

“Right kids! Now whats our motto?”

Mondo gave an audible groan.

“Oh come on its funny.”

Mondo sighed but reluctantly saluted, as tre reat of the kids followed.

🎶One Two Three and Four! Killer Bass Will Get the Score!🎶

🎶Five Six Seven Eight! Gophers are trash, and Fish are Great!🎶

Duncan seemed to stifle a laugh on the last part. “Alright guys! Now stand in a straight line behind me.”

Taka instantly stood in the front with Mondo behind him as the rest of the students stood behind them.

“Alright, and MARCH!” The 9 of them marched off towards the cafeteria.

Once there, the kids returned to normal walking and headed to their cabin table. Once he was sure the kids were sat, he headed up to the cafeteria, only to encounter Trent getting the breakfast for his cabin.

“Trent! Hi…” Duncan says noticiably more nervous.

“Hey there, sup shorty!” Trent says wrapping his arm around Duncan. Duncan meeped.

“So how have the kids been?” He asks

“Well, Mondos been a bit of a hassle, but other than that the kids are great.” Duncan whispers timidly.

“Oho! Youre lucky. Celestia, Byakuya, Junko! Together those three kids are a mess of trouble! Ive mainly been able to get them under control, but What I wouldnt give to be in your cabin.”

“Same here.” Duncan mutters quietly.

“Hmm?”

“Nothing! Anyways I should probably finish up here and get the kids breakfast.” Duncan says quickly picking up the breakfast for the cabin.

“Oh… Ok…” Trent says disappointed.

Duncan immediately stops in his tracks. “But if you want to talk more counselor stuff! We can hang out when I hand off the kiddos to Courtney!” Duncan quickly yells.

“Oh! Ok sure!” Trent quickly responds.

“Its a date!” Duncan says walking off. Trent turns beet red before walking off. Duncan immediately facepalms.

“A date? Really?! Come on you idiot! You should have done better than that!” Duncan mutters pacing back and forth.

“Um… Mr. Tarun.” Sayaka tugs at Duncans pants.

Duncan notices and realizes hes still holding the kids breakfast. “O-oh! Sorry!” Duncan nervously laughs.

He walks around the table and gives each of the kids a plate of breakfast, containing french toast, sausage, and scrambled eggs with lemonade. The kids quickly begin eating their breakfast. Duncan sits down with his plate and begins quietly eating while contemplating his life choices. However, the kids quickly got into some trouble.

“H-hey stop that!” Taka says nervously.

Duncan sat up and noticed that Junko and Byakuya were standing next to Mondo. Mondo seemed visibly upset.

“Whats wrong Diamond, cat got your tongue?” Junko taunts.

“What the hell do you to want?” Mondo asks angrily.

“Oh I just came over cause I thought youre french toast was looking plain.”

“My toast is fine.” Mondo says angrily shoving a bite of eggs into his mouth.

“Really? Cause I think this plate could use a nice slab of BUTTER!” Junko dumps a whole stick of tub of butter on Mondos French Toast. Mondo just stared at the toast, terrified.

(Context to this: I am partially referencing His execution. But in this case the reason for his trauma is that his dad was turned into a butter like substance following an experiment he was working on)

The rest of the kids at the table gasp. Leon begins laughing but Sayaka punches him in the arm.

Junko laughs. “Oh whats wrong? Did I not add enough? Do you want some syrup as well?” She taunts.

Byakuya simply stifles a laugh. “A mere peasant frozen by a tub of butter. Pathetic.”

“H-hey leave him alone!” Taka says attempting to stand up to them.

“Or what?” Junko laughs

Taka meekly backs off.

Duncan angrily stomps towarfs the two bullies.

“Hey you two! Leave Mondo Alone!” Duncan shouts.

“Oh shut up you faggot! We all know you want inside our camp counselors pants! Why dont you run along like the squealy girl you are?” Junko sneers.

Duncan becomes even more angry. “If the two of you dont leave right now, Im sending the two of you home!” Duncan threatens.

“And then what? Lose the Trust of your little boyfriend.” Byakuya laughs.

Duncan is about to knock the little shits heads off when suddenly Trent comes up behind him.

“Duncan, you may step out of the situation.” Trent says putting a hand on his shoulder.

“But-“

Trent leans into his ear. “Trust me, dude, I got this!” Trent whispers.

Duncan backs off as Trent approaches the two children.

“Junko, Byakuya, my office. NOW!” Trent shouts firmly.

Trent walks the two children to his office and eventually returns back to the cafeteria.

“Im having them clean out the toilets for the next week. Those two went way too far.” Trent explains.

“Thank you…” Duncan mumbles.

“Hey its no problem.” Trent outs a hand on Duncans shoulder. “We gotta look out for each other right bro?”

Trent leans in closer to Duncan, and without thinking about what hr was doing, Duncan leaned in and quickly pecked Trent on the lips.

Trents face went incredibly red while Duncan seemed nervous.

“Oh jeez Im sorry, I didnt mean to, I just thought thats what we were doing and-“ Hes immediately caught off by Trent taking Duncans head in his gands and bringing him in for a second kiss. The kiss becomes a loving kiss and the two of them stand there hugging while kissing eachother.

“Ewwwwwwwwww!!!! Ms Satellaaaaa!!!!! Mr.Tarun and Mr.Cooper are kissiiiiing!!!!!!” Sayaka shouts.

They both let go of the kiss and look at Sayaka as Trent begins laughing. Duncan sees this and begins laughing too.

“So Im guessing you like me too then?” Trent asks sarcastically.

“Yeah. Always kinda have.” Duncan laughs.

“Well then, maybe we could hand the kids off to Courtney and Gwen, and the two of us can spend the rest of the day hanging by the lake.” Trent says twirling Duncans hair.

“That sounds lovely.” Duncan mumbles leaning into Trents chest.

“EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!” The kids stick their tongues out seeing their counselors kissing.

Trent and Duncan just laugh before letting go of each other and going towards their respective tables. Duncan sits and begins happily eating his breakfast.

Meanwhile Kiyotaka notices the whole event unfold, and just as Mondo finishes clearing the butter on his plate, pecks Mondo on the cheek before returning to his food.

Mondo looks at him increduously, blushing red for a second before just shaking his head and returning to his food

(END)

[jq37]

The Royal Report– A Crown of Candy Ep 1

There Is Strength in Sweetness 

Much like the years, the seasons of D20 start coming and they don’t stop coming. Fantasy High: Sophomore Year is barely in the record books and we’re already jumping into our new season--the Game of Thrones/Candyland mashup: A Crown of Candy!

If y’all have been with me since Sophomore Year then you know that I did very in depth recaps of every episode with a very specific format but I’m gonna try something new for this season.

The format might change a little between episodes as I figure out what works best so bear with me but the plan is to do more highlights and opinions than a blow by blow. But, like, we’ll see what happens.

So, anyway, saddle up your Meep and let’s visit Candia--one of the six kingdoms of the land of Calorum (aka: a fridge. We see you Brennan, it’s a fridge). Twenty years ago, the Ravening Wars wreaked havoc but they’re currently in a time of peace which (mostly) everybody is psyched about.

Meet the Family

This is not a new observation but, while most seasons of Fantasy High focus on found family, this season is all about family-family, specifically, the royal family of Candia and their associates. 

We’re first introduced to Murph’s character--Sir Theobald Gumbar (Level 3 Eldritch Knight)--who is the a huge, golden-armored, gummy bear, leader of the Tartguard, protector of the royal family, and the logical endpoint of Murph’s lawful good predilections. Sir Theo is, of course, on time with bells on for the big Saint’s Day/Coming of Age birthday party for the twin princesses of House Rocks. Unfortunately, he’s clearly never seen The Little Mermaid because when the heralds announce the princesses, they don’t show up. Frustrated, he goes to try and find them.

The first place he checks is with Zac’s character, Chancellor Lapin Cadbury (Level 3 Celestial Warlock). He is (in no particular order) the royal tutor, a chocolate bunny, an official of the main state sanctioned church of Calorum (the Bulbian Church), and a pompous ass. Oh, one more thing? He and Theobald can’t stand each other. There is nothing funnier than two very proper grown men who hate each other's guts. Sir Theo shows up to his classroom where the princesses are having a lesson--or at least they’re supposed to be. Further inspection shows that they’ve just left two straw dummies in their place. Classic.

So, we pan out to the city to meet my favorite characters so far (I absolutely play favorites but I also disclose when I’m doing it so I think I’m in the clear) the twin princesses/chaos gremlins--Jet and Ruby Rocks (both level 1 Rogues) played by Emily and Siobhan. Theo may not have seen The Little Mermaid but the twins have def seen Aladdin, because their number one pastime seems to be escaping the palace to roam the city--hilariously illustrated when they chuck a gem into a peasant's bag and his reaction is a super nonplussed, “Guess the princesses escaped again.” They’re got the Disney Princess-itis really bad because both of them feel stifled by palace life and want more--specifically, Jet wants to be a warrior and resents having been born in peacetime (especially since she’s slightly older and in line for the throne) and Ruby wants to run off and join the circus as an acrobat. They are total twin BFFs to the point that their Thieves Cant has been reskinned to Twinspeak which is a detail I love so much (and that will become unspeakably tragic if something happens to one of them Brennan). 

Jet gets a letter from her secret crush Thad, an Avocado from Fructera (these are the sentences I am being forced to write this season folks) and schemes with Ruby about how they can get to Comida (the capital city) to meet him--possibly by sweet talking Theobald which is easy because he’s so thirsty for respect. Sure enough, Theobald and Lapin soon find them, following their path of destruction and the princesses are brought back to the castle.

Back at the castle, we’re introduced to Lou’s character--King Amethar Rocks (Level 3 Storm Herald Barbarian)--who is having a somber moment, surrounded by the statues of his four older sisters who died in the Ravening Wars, leading his reluctant taking of the throne. He’s interrupted by Lord Calroy (his right hand guy and a full ass talking slice of cake because Brennan is trying to break me this season but I refuse to give him the satisfaction) who lets him know that his daughters have escaped and his delighted reaction immediately lets us know which side of the family they take after.

Finally (at least wrt PCs), we meet Ally’s character--Liam Wilhelmina of House Jawbreaker (Level 2 Ranger) who is a political prisoner/ward of House Rocks and a soft, outdoorsy, mountain kid who is perpetually followed around by his pet pig--Peppermint Preston whose death will absolutely force to me to Google “Best Denny’s Parking Lots for Fistfights.” He misses his dad but not his dick brothers because Ally isn’t allowed to have a fully happy family in any season. Liam is from the disgraced House Jawbreaker and his brothers seem to expect him to try and off the King while he’s in their orbit. While he’s in the woods, looking for seeds (as one does) he finds and accidentally breaks an important looking teacup, which we’ll get back to.

The other important character we meet this episode is an NPC--Queen Caramelinda, mother of the princesses, wife of Amethar, and keeper of 100% of the impulse control of House Rocks. She’s the main disciplinarian to Jet and Ruby, the clear decision-maker in the kingdom, and the only literate one out of her and her husband. She also seems to be the only character that respects Lapin’s authority. 

An Inciting Incident

So, with all our characters assembled, all that’s left is the plot hook which Caramelinda provides in the form of a personal letter from Emperor Gustavo--the head honcho of the entire realm and his old friend--to Amethar. He’s not doing well health-wise and he needs to name an heir that’s not related to him at a big tourney that he’s personally inviting Amethar to. Amethar is a little slow on the uptake but Caramelinda eventually connects to dots for him that it seems very likely that Gustavo is going to name him emperor.

Amethar is not vibing with that information at all but Caramelinda basically holds him by the ear until he reluctantly agrees to go--though he insists that Ruby and Jet also come along to keep him company. Caramelinda only agrees on the condition that Lapin goes with. She also invites Liam (who is caught off guard but game) and Sir Theo is basically going by default. Caramelinda is staying home to hold down the fort but the talking slice of cake is going because Brennan hates me and doesn’t want me to be happy. 

The traveling party is chosen, the twins have been gifted with sick, inherited weapons from their aunts: Flickorice--the Twizzing Blade (Jet) and Sourscratch--the Puckering Bow (Ruby). It’s almost time to be off, but there’s still one last thing to get to before we leave the twins’ party. 

Lapin, feeling the pull of something broken (told you we’d get back to it) subtly makes his way outside, but is followed by Jet and Liam. Now, if you remember, I said earlier that Lapin is an official of the Bulbian church. Which is why it’s so surprising for Jet and Liam to see him talking to the Sugarplum Fairy, a deity of the Sweetening Path--a non-sanctioned more animistic religion that really only has sway in Candia. He fixes the teacup and then she appears, telling him that he’ll need to be wary once he leaves her sphere of influence and that boldness will be required in the days to come. Lapin, who seems to be having this conversation very begrudgingly, asks if she’s asking him to do anything in an official capacity and she smiles and says that she’s not asking for her third wish(!). Then what does she want? She wants him to know that there is great risk in what he is doing, but not acting is the greater risk. The coming challenges will be great, but he must protect the royal family or all is lost. She wouldn't have used her second wish to bring him to them if that weren’t the case. They hustle back and spill this to Ruby, obvs.

Anyway, onward! The next day, the caravan is set up and--with a warning about a sugar free chocolate warlock (ominous, as sugar free chocolate always is) they’re on their way to meet their escort out of Candia. Ruby decides to do her acrobat thing and is hanging out on top of the carriage instead of inside it as she and Jet “subtly” (read:not at all) bring up the Sugarplum Fairy to Lapin to see if he cracks.

Suddenly, the caravan stops. There’s a tree felled in the path, which really only means one thing in this kind of story. 

Ambush.

Ruby, outside of the carriage and unprotected, takes 16 points of damage and is fully down with a failed death save due to some unknown effect. The carriage is riddled with arrows. 

Everyone rolls for initiative and that takes us into a new (sure to be recurring) segment I’m calling:

Things I’m Concerned About

I’m concerned about Jet and Ruby (and not just because I’ve been worried about Ruby for a while due to things the cast has said and because she fully *died* this episode). They have their genres so wrong. They think they’re Disney movie protagonists but they’re in Game of Thrones and they don’t know it. Being Wrong Genre Savvy is a BAD position to find yourself in. Carriage surfing shenanigans don’t fly in a world that wants you dead.

OK, Carameinda. I’m inclined to be pro-Caramelinda. Like, she’s the hardass but she needs to be because Amethar isn’t helping run the kingdom. If this was a different story, she wouldn’t give me any pause but I read Macbeth and feel some light Lady Macbeth vibes. Gonna be keeping an eye on her.  

Calroy and Sir Toby (didn’t mention him, he’s a slightly lower ranked Gummi Bear guard and friends with Theo). In a story like this, I’m looking for the possible betrayals before I get blindsided and the only people who can really betray you are people who are supposedly loyal to you. Calroy had a little aside with Amethar about how he shouldn’t be the Emperor if he doesn’t want to be--which isn’t wrong but is also something someone angling to keep him off the throne for other reasons would say--and Sir Toby decided to stay behind to help hold down the fort--again, either an innocuous decision, or angling to be left alone and to his own devices. 

Whatever is going on with the Sugarplum Fairy and Lapin? Do not care for that one bit. I understand that a Warlock pact is mechanically very similar to a Paladin oath and a Celestial Warlock pact is even moreso but guess what? Still don’t trust it. I know Ruby’s Arcana check said that she’s generally a chill spirit but I still don’t trust it. And getting Wishes from your follower? Weird and suspicious. What’s your game, lady?

Emperor Gustavo apparently has a daughter who is barred by law from taking the throne when he dies. That sounds like a very strong motive for *something* at some point down the line. 

I’m a little concerned Jet is being catfished by this Avocado. First of all, not a sentence I thought I’d ever write. Second of all, I’m probably just being paranoid. But that feels like a great way to get a princess alone for kidnapping or shanking or something. 

Update: Brennan did an AMA and, regarding the previous bullet point he said, and I quote, “You are right to be concerned!” so now I’m concerned about that too! Fun!

I’m concerned about the mechanics of how a slice of cake person works. Slice implies a full cake. Where is the rest of the cake Brennan? Where is it? And, like, Brennan said on the post-show stream that we’re making the “what do they eat?” question weirder than it actually is because we’re made of some of the stuff we eat but hey Brennan? If I could pick a flesh toned and textured apple off a tree? That would be weird, OK? And I’m sorry for everyone else who had to picture that but it had to be said since Brennan is insisting on walking us down this garden path.

I’m concerned about whatever the hell is happening with Liam. Disgraced dad, mom is a shaman of the local fringe religion (Sweetening Path, like Lapin), and his brothers want him to shank the king or something? No way this ends in smiles for everyone. 

Brennan said Pyramid of Food so I’m concerned about fruit rollup mummies. 

OK but more than anything, I’m concerned about the death rules of this game. Death in D&D is cheap but, in a campaign like this, it can’t be. I’m not super well versed in GoT but it’s my understanding that resurrection in that series is possible but rare. Brennan said he specifically didn’t let Ally stock certain healing spells and that’s very telling about how things are gonna be handled. I guess we’ll see in the upcoming battle episode how that works but my general thought is, I hope everyone made interesting backup characters.  

Five More Things

So, my thoughts on the new characters. I love Ruby and Jet with my entire heart. Watching Emily and Siobhan roleplay sisters and enable each other and hype each other up is so fun--or it would be if I wasn’t low key bracing to lose one of them sooner rather than later. Zac playing against type and Murph playing to type are both fantastic. I want nothing more than for Theobald and Lapin to continue sniping at each other. I hope that’s the first PvP fight of D20. Amethar is a lot of fun but clearly in over his head and I’m interested to see where he’s pushed. Liam is literally just vibing. Hope he doesn’t have to commit regicide!     

God, the House Rocks PCs are such a disaster family. I love it. The moment when Calroy comes in and is like, “The princesses have escaped,” and Amethar breaks into a grin and is like, “Dude, that’s so dope!” I was like OH, so it’s *all* of them, huh. But, honestly, this should have been on the “Things I’m Concerned About” list because come on. They’ve not all gonna make it. And then we’re gonna have to watch the remaining family members react to that? Oh no. 

Love Ruby’s bow. I have a player in my game who also has a magic bow that produces energy arrows because, truly, who has the time to deal with the logistics of how many arrows you had left after last fight? Magic arrows. Boom, done. Next. 

Getting bagged on by your Patron for not having a spell when she’s the one who gives you your spells is so funny. Also, Mending isn’t a Warlock spell which makes it even funnier. 

**I’ve given myself a 3k word limit on all of these to try to put some boundaries on myself but, Lol, prize to the first who guesses closest to the first episode I break that rule.**

[9r7g5h]

I have come to the conclusion that none of this happened. Liam properly hid his magic, Amethar was crowned Emperor and quickly set up a council to run the country, and everyone's alive and dandy. Caramellinda was called to come join her husband, and she's able to get over her mistrust of the outside world to join up with Primbalina to become an awesome duo ruling the country, with Amethar as their front and hype man.

Jet and Ruby stay in the capital with their parents for a bit longer, during which Jet and Anabelle begin a whirlwind romance. It doesnt start that way, it starts as just hero worship from Jet and Anabelle agreeing to train her, but they spend more time together and become closer and closer until one day Anabelle pins Jet against the wall with her sword, and one second they're trading barbs about how the other fought, and the next they're making out in the otherwise empty room. They make no promises, come to no agreements, and dont even talk about things for a long while, only having fantastic make out sessions after each training.

Ruby spends her time secretly learning magic from Theo and Lapin and even Liam, soaking up everything she can. When her sister goes off for her "training sessions" (which she totally knows is just code for making out with Anabelle. She's slightly jealous, because she did technically see Anabelle first, but overall she's just glad her sister is happy), she wanders around the capital with the Tart Guard in tow, looking for something to keep herself entertained. She eventually finds a performance troupe, and finds herself falling into her own kind of love. Both with the physics defying stunts the performers are doing, and with a young fructarian, a non-binary peach. The two of them become close friends, the romance that will blossom between them on the slower side, especially because of their differences in status. But Ruby is second in line, and she's happy with taking her time, just excited to see their smile and feel the warmth of their hand in her own.

Liam is always so confused about what he's supposed to be doing on the council, and half the time he just accidently offends people. It doesnt help that he gets another letter from his brothers, claiming that he's fully turned against the family by joining their enemies. But he like Amethar and Jet and Ruby more then his father and brothers, so he just shrugs and waits for someone to tell him what to do. And after a long talk with Caramellinda, they figure out the perfect position for him - Master of the Harvest. Usually a position that goes towards one of the more plant based people, its agreed upon that his knowledge of seeds, of all types, greatly surpasses those of many others, especially for his young age. So he's given a group of guards who understand the magic of druidcraft (which Brennan did say was allowed) and sent off on missions to inspect the crops from each region, returning frequently with reports and his bag full of seeds to show off to his favorite cousins. He has a brief engagement with Primsey, but she's too in love with her lost beu, and he's honest with the fact that he doesnt want to have sex and so wont be able to give her kids. She fully accepts that, and they still stay great, amazing friends. He's always welcomed in her home in the Dairy Islands. Eventually, while it's just him and Preston and his guards for a long while, he does find a kindred spirit in a meat person, a Turkey druid who also doesnt want romance or sex but would love to be held and loves seeds. They strike up a very quick friendship, and soon become the closest either will ever be to a couple. Best friends, traveling the world to look at seeds, holding hands cause they're both aro ace and dont care if people think they're gay.

Lapin manages to keep his secrets from the world at large, though his companions all know the truth, eventually. He works in secret to undermine the Bulb, and allow other religions to sneak their way into being acceptable again. It takes a long time, but eventually he succeeds, in a fashion. The Bulb is still seen as the supreme god, but the Sugarplum Fairy and the Carnivorous Creatures and all the others we dont know about are more seen messengers of the Bulb. Holy in their own right, fighting against The Hungry One in their own right, made of and from the Bulb, if not the Bulb themselves. The true believers of these other religions just roll their eyes and nod, but hey - its progress, and the magic granted by these other beings slowly beings to sink back in and return to Calorum. Lapin is able to eventually relax into his true passion - arguing with that dumb brute of a body guard and teach the future children.

Speaking of the brute, Theo continues to enjoy his job. He loves being a guard, loves training other guards, and when they're still at the capital, he loves training Ruby and Jet. When they're gone, he throws himself into training everyone else, and honestly enjoys himself. He is a war guy, though he's fully adapted to peace, and is just happy to see how the word continues to prosper. When he's not working, he fight with Lapin, drinks and plays games with Amethar, and goes on long walks with Sprinkle. He's an old man, gets to be Lapin's age, though their advanced ages doent stop either of them from constantly going at each other, and just enjoys his life in the capital. He sometimes regrets not having his own family, but the remembers that he does, they're just named the Rocks.

Going back to where we left off the Rocks, rules of Candia, soon enough ways must be parted. Liam's gotten used to saying goodbye to Ruby and Jet, so when its decided that Jet must return home and take up the mantal of Queen, its not hard for him. It is for everyone else, though. Theo is torn about letting this little spitfire go home alone, and Lapin is sure she needs at least another decade of schooling before she'll be ready. Caramelinda is of the same mind, and would go back to continue ruling instead if she wasnt so integral to ruling the rest of the world. Amethar is sure Jet will do fine, she's great, but this is his little girl. He's had to leave a few times, yes, but she's never had to leave him. It's hard.

And Ruby. The two talk for a long, long time, but eventually decide to part ways. Just for now, of course, nonetheless, they have different paths to walk. Ruby is starting a life here in the capital, with their parents and her peach datemate, and it really seems like the circus thing is going to stick. And in court, the few times she's sat in on a meeting, she's been able to provide the common point of view, which has been severely lacking. She likes being helpful, in a non-stressful kind of way. And so, even though she knows Jet needs to go take her place as Queen of Candia, she wants to stay.

And Jet is hurt, because she's the only one in the family who has to leave, and she at least thought Ruby would come with her. But, instead of trying to force her, or find a way to stay, Jet, instead, hits the books. She begins searching through everything she can, putting off her return one more week ("I guess Cal has a decent hold on things for the moment," Emperor Amethar agreed when she told him her plans) to find what she needed. And what she needed was a long distance messaging spell, that Lapin helped to modify. A tether between the two, one they could open at any time, to allow them to speak to each other whenever they wanted. A twin messager, if you would, that allowed them to always be with each other.

That done, Jet said her goodbyes to her family, and went to say her lost goodbye to the woman who has stolen her heart. Only to find her gone, Captain Anabelle Cheddar's ship having set sail in the middle of the night. She kept a straight face, though the moment she was on the road, alone besides the Tart Guarda and the Imperial Soliders her dad had sent with her, Jet opened the channel with Ruby and cried.

It was a rough week of traveling. Not because of any danger, no, it was smooth on that front. But because for the first time in her life, she was going to be alone. It was easier, having Ruby to still talk to, to pass along messages to their parents and friends, but still, it hurt to not have an actual hug when her heart was breaking.

It hurt so bad, she didnt notice the strange ship at port when they passed through their one town that accessed the ocean, only a day's meep ride away from the castle. She didnt notice the strange visitors who joined the crowds there to welcome her home – she was so focused on keeping an excited face.

She only noticed when she entered the throne room, calling for Cal, the only adult figure currently in her life who could give her a hug and promise everything was going to be ok.

Only then did she notice Captain Anabelle Cheddar, playing with a knife as she sat on her throne, ignoring the guards who were trying to scold her. Anabelle, who looked up as Jet entered, and greeted her with a giant smile, welcoming and excited to see her. Anabelle who stood, walked over, and pulled her into a long, deep kiss.

Both of them would soon come to reconsider their positions on marriage, if they could marry the woman next to them. Lapin would get to work, poking and prodding the church to make it allowed, and with Amethar blessing this union, they made it work.

And Amethar? Being Emperor was hard, though less so with support. He learned how to show Caramelinda that he appreciated her, learned how to be a better husband and kind, learned what his actual duties were to the people under his command. Something he should have done a long time ago, but just hadn’t had the will to do so. But now everything was in his court, literally, and he had to do what was right.

And he fell back in love with Caramelinda, all over again. They had been in love before, back when he was fifth in line, before the war. But then time and distance had parted them for so long, and he had fallen for another, a young woman from the Dairy Islands. They had met, married, had their wedding night before war had once again parted them. He finally sat down with Jack, and got the full story – a bit over a year later, the young dairy woman had married a young farmer, they had had children of their own, and a decade ago she had passed from some cheese illness Amethar couldn’t even pretend to understand. He was sad, but was glad that she had had a good life, since he had loved her, in the way that death and violence and needing someone to be there grew a kind of love.

But that was done now. Not gone, but like a closed book, and with that closure, the part of Amethar that had been resisting the life he now had felt a little bit more settled. He still hated every bit of being king, still played hooky with Cal when he visited from being Candia’s advisor or Theo whenever he could, but he tried. He showed Caramelinda how much he appreciated her, and actually finally learned how to read, and figured out names and stations so he could help make the world a better place, and it was worth it.

It was worth it to fall back in love with Caramelinda, to actually feel the flips in his stomach that she used to give him, back before when he was young and before war had broken something inside of him. It was worth it to see that smile of hers, and know that she was feeling it too, the love they had both wanted and struggled for for the last twenty years. It was worth it to kiss his wife and actually be happy.

And damn it, if Gustav’s last prank was to make him responsible for the entire world, then at least he was by the side of the best of wives and best of women, Caramelinda of the house of Rocks.

And it was worth it, in the end. It was worth it to help Lapin out whenever he could, slowly reshaping the church so it better fit the world they were making. It was worth it to watch Theo train the next generation of guards into a fighting force that almost surpassed himself, guards loyal and loving and just as kind and as great a friend as Theo was himself.  It was worth it to see Liam grow into a confident young man, sure of himself, instrumental in helping to ensure the continent was properly fed. It was worth it to watch Ruby become a master performer and spy, passing on the commoner’s thoughts of him and his empire so adjustments could be made, so the masses could be protected and cared for and satisfied without fear. In fact, many sought out Ruby, knowing she had the Emperor’s ear, and could pass on what they were scared to say to his face, for even though he was a good, kind ruler, a fear of rulers still existed. It was worth it to see Queen Jet and Queen Consort Anabelle rule his old home with kindness and love, their union having strengthened the Candian alliance with the Dairy Islands.

It was worth it, as age crept in, to sit there, holding hands with the love of his life, watching as a chocolate milk girl wrestled with a cobbler boy, all while two little cheesecake children slept in their laps. It was worth it to lean over and kiss Caramelinda’s cheek, to see the love pouring from her as they watched over their grandchildren, knowing that soon their friends and the rest of their family would be in one room again, and that none of them would ever have to be war people. It was worth it to know that, because of their efforts, all they would know was peace, and if the most these children ever became was a ruler, or a performer, or a knight, or a warlock, or a seed guy, all because of their efforts?

It was enough.

Except for poor Thad who, as far as they knew, was still in the alley.

[hazelandglasz]

Buns Buns Buns - Klaine AU

Inspired by this post

On AO3

At first, it felt like a good idea. After all, Blaine and Santana had met during their apprenticeships at Maison Kayser, and they had immediately felt a connection. 

A connection based on good-hearted (most of the time) teasing, sure, but also on queer kinship and boundless support.

On the night after their graduation, the pair got completely hammered on Cranberry Vodka.

Blaine laid down on the couch while Santana sat on the floor by his head.

“I loved working--meep--working with you,” Blaine hiccuped, tipping the bottle toward her. “You com-complete me.”

“Same,” Santana bawled out. “You’re the only one I’ve been partnered with who didn’t try to sex me up and who understands what I need without me saying iiiiiiiit!”

Blaine tentatively patted her head before sitting up like a Jack-in-The-Box. “I got it!”

“Got what? Chlamydia? I told you that Roger wasn’t worth it.”

“Wha--No! Not Chlamydia. And nothing happened with Roger.”

“Not for lack of trying, Mini Twix.”

Blaine rolled his eyes at her. “Can you shush one second so I can tell you my amazing idea?”

Santana swigged the bottle to get another mouthful of vodka. “Go ahead.”

“We should open our own bakery.”

Santana almost choked on the vodka but she was a pro and swallowed without sputtering it everywhere. “Have you gone mad? Has the yeast turned your brain to mush? We cannot open a bakery!”

“Why not? We have an excellent resume, with our apprenticeship and Mr Kayser’s recommendation letter. We are young, sure, but motivated. The apprenticeship paid off our student loans, so we could potentially get a loan to rent a place.”

As he talked, Blaine got on his knees while Santana sat on the coffee table.

She scratched her hair and hummed.

Which, in Santanese, meant that she was at least considering it.

Which, in Blainese, meant that she was on board.

Which, a month later, lead to the opening of “Buns Buns Buns” in the heart of Brooklyn, serving brioches, empanadas, and mookies.

Which, really, felt like a good idea--except when Santana gets an idea.

Particularly when said-idea is to combine two of her favorite hobbies: make fun of Blaine and try to find him a date.

The thing is, Blaine doesn’t exactly mind the teasing. After all, he’s more than able to reply to any of them, and as previously stated, it’s one of the bases of their relationship. Anyone who knows Santana Lopez knows that teasing is her way of showing her love.

But the constant nagging about his singledom hits a little bit closer to home, is more painful too.

Blaine hasn’t chosen to be single, okay. He believes in love and romance, he knows that somewhere, there is someone for him, waiting for him, someone who will love him for everything Blaine has to offer.

He is young, though, and he knows he has time to find the proverbial Mr. Right.

And the subject would be a lot easier to set aside if Santana wasn’t constantly singing under her breath whenever they pass each other songs about being alone forever.

Her 21st cover of “Lonely” makes him explode in the kitchen and slam the door to walk his anger away.

(She managed to find some helium to sing it in the highest pitch ever heard by a human ear.)

When he came back, Santana had the decency to be apologetic, telling him that he should take a week off work to chill, have fun, just … be, for a little while.

“And what Buns Buns Buns?”

“Oh, I can manage. It’s a slow week anyway, a lot of people are leaving the city anyway. I’ll just experiment a bit.”

“No x-rated experiment, Santana.”

“I still think we should have Muff Muffins for a Ladies Night type of promotion--”

“No. And no ‘dick-clairs’ either.”

“I didn’t think about it, but that is an excellent name.”

“No.”

“But--”

“Santana, please, no. Promise me.”

Santana rolls her eyes but agrees to promise not to do anything that could shock the kids from the school next door.

“I can do some redecorating, though. We should remove the December decorations anyway.”

“Hm, okay. Nothing extravagant, okay, we need to get ready for Easter.”

“Yessir.”

Blaine smiles at her. “All right. I do need a break.”

“And when you come back, I will take a couple of days off,” she adds, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

That was so sweet.

Blaine should have seen it coming.

Because now, he’s back, a notebook full of ideas and concepts of baked goods they could add to their menu, a spring in his step, and he nearly faints at the sight of his beloved window.

Which has been defaced, somehow, in his absence.

Well, defaced. That may be an over-exaggeration. The drawing is good, he can admit that, and it looks like a sticker so it won’t be permanent or anything.

But still.

Not exactly the aesthetic he envisioned for their shop.

He’s going to kill Santana whenever she comes back from her couple of days off--no, you know what, he’s going to go to her place tonight and kill her then.

Except, she may be spending her days off with Brittany, or Dany, or both, and does he really want to inflict this on his sight? On his brain?

Nah, it can wait. But she’s going to suffer, oh, she’s going to suffer.

Now, quick side-note about Blaine: when left alone, he has a tendency to … fill the silence.

Most of the time, by singing or humming to himself, but right this instant in time, he is talking to himself.

Counting the ways he will have his vengeance while baking and preparing new batches for the menu while considering when there will be a lull in the clients’ visits to experiment on his Easter cakes.

He’s so deep in his thoughts while putting the last batch of cookies in the lower oven, he doesn’t even hear the bell over the door ringing.

“Oh, um. Hello?”

Blaine straightens up quickly, dusting his hands over his apron and already all smiles as he turns to face the new client.

Oh boy.

“Hi?”

The man standing in the store’s entrance (with Santana’s ridiculous drawing creating a shadow over his tan jacket) is, truth be told, without a doubt the most beautiful man Blaine has ever seen.

“I work at the school around the corner, and I just started,” the man says, clutching the strap of his messenger bag, “and I, um, I kinda wanted something sweet to end this day.”

“Sure,” Blaine replies, walking to the window case. “Cakes are the answer for pretty much any trouble, in my opinion.”

Cute Client Looking for Consolation Cake smiles at Blaine, cocking his head to the side. “I like that. What do you recommend?”

Blaine happily goes over the different options, until CCLCC settles on a box of Cheesecake cookies.

“I hope this will improve your day,” he tells him after ringing his order.

“Oh, your shop has already greatly improved it,” CCLCC replies, his eyes darting to the sign. “And for what it’s worth, I personally think it doesn’t do you any justice.”

Blaine frowns. Glances at the sign. Glances back at CCLCC. Puts two and two together.

And turns a bright shade of red.

“Oh.”

CCLCC’s face matches the strawberry and basilic pies.

“Oh, gosh, I’m sorry.”

“No, no it’s--”

“No, it was crass, and we don’t even--”

“I promise, I mean, I get easily embarrassed--”

“--know each other, oh my God, everything looks delicious but I’ll never be able to come--”

“--but I am flattered.”

That seems to put a cork on CCLCC’s embarrassment. “... Oh.”

They smile at each other like a pair of … well, like a pair of shy twenty-something years olds who have a crush and are embarrassed about being too obvious.

“Madre de Dios.”

Blaine nearly jumps out of his skin at the sudden appearance of Santana’s voice in the shop.

“San’!” he exclaims, and even to his ears, it comes out far too loud. “What--what are you doing here?”

“I came to ask you what you thought of my artistry,” Santana says, expertly flicking her hair over her shoulders as she steps out of the shadows, “and here I am, in the most awkward episode of Gay Bachelors in Bushwick.”

“Santana.”

“I don’t think I know you, though. Santana Lopez, co-owner of this magical place. And you are?”

“Kurt Hummel,” CCLCC replies and Blaine feels better about having a proper name to call his customer. “Choir teacher at the block’s school.”

“How nice.”

“It is a school focusing on the arts, after all, and--”

“I said nice, not interesting. What do you think of our new décor?”

Kurt blushes again. “Well, like I told, um, the gentleman--”

“Blaine. It’s only fair you know his name, since you’ll be screaming--”

“Santana, no.”

“Spoilsport. Anyway, neighbor, you were saying?”

“Like I told Blaine, I think it is a bit unfair to him.”

“Oh?”

Kurt’s flush intensifies. “Oh.”

“You won’t say more than that?” Santana approaches the window. “I thought I captured the bubbliness of his hmph!”

Blaine grabs a discarded brioche from the basket and sliding under the counter, pushes it in Santana’s mouth. “If you shut up I won’t kill you for putting that monstrosity on our window,” he whispers angrily, before turning to Kurt, pushing Santana behind him. “I’m sorry about that, Kurt. I hope we will see you again. Have a nice day!”

Kurt looks at them, his mouth stretched into a disbelieving smile before nodding. “Thank you. You too … Blaine.”

The moment the door is closed, Blaine sighs in relief. Santana is happily nibbling on the brioche. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

Blaine looks up at the ceiling, waiting for some deity to come to his help. “What on Earth for?”

“I know you, Anderson,” Santana points the remaining of the brioche in his face, “you’d have waited months and months before even attempting a proper conversation with Sweet Lips over there. Now, at least, you know he likes what you have to offer.”

Blaine drops his head to his chest. “I think I would have preferred to come back to sexual cakes.”

“Easily corrected.”

“Santana, no.”

“You’re not really angry, though.”

“Angry, grumph. Embarrassed and on the verge of ashamed? For sure.”

“Aw.” Santana wraps her arms around Blaine, her chest to his back. “I didn’t want you to be ashamed.”

“Embarrassed, though?”

“Oh, for sure.”

Blaine lets her hug him for a couple more minutes before stepping away, arms crossed over his chest. “This,” he says, pointing at his cartoony double, “has to go.”

“Oh, another couple of days!”

“Begone.”

“Pleaaaase?”

“No. You take it off.”

“But I’m on holiday!”

“Santana. Take. It. Off.”

Santana sighs. “You should be careful, Blainey,” she tells him as she walks out of the shop, “some people could misinterpret your words.”

“I really doubt that. Remove that obscenity from our window!”

“When I come baaa-aaack. Byyyeee!”

“Santan--oh, fuck it.”

#

Kurt expected a lot of things from his new job.

For it to be challenging, for the neighborhood to be surprising, for New York to be everything he hoped for and more.

So far, his expectations have been met: the students are challenging to say the least, the neighborhood of Bushwick is nothing he expected, and New York is a dream and a nightmare all rolled into one.

But of all the things he has to get used to, Blaine the Baker hasn’t left his mind for the past couple of days.

Sure, the window sticker made him laugh, at first, but when he saw Blaine’s butt as the baker was busy with the oven, his heart stopped before starting back at twice the speed.

And then he saw his face, and his heart made a valiant attempt to jump out of his chest to land on Blaine.

The fact that the cheesecake cookies were absolutely to die for doesn’t help in chasing the baker from his daydreams.

“Mr. Hummel.”

Why, yes, they could hyphenate their names, or Blaine could be Mr. Hummel.

“Mr. Hummel? Sir?”

Oh, Blaine would feed him pieces of brioche in bed before kissing him tenderly, that would be so romantic and delicious …

“Mr. Hummel!”

“Hm? Yes? Wha?”

His students snicker, and it’s 100% deserved. “What song do you want us to perform for the Open House Day?”

Oh the Open House Day. Perfect! The whole neighborhood is invited.

So, Blaine will come.

So, Kurt can be at his best and win him over.

“Open House. Right! I know just the song.”

#

Santana and Blaine arrive at the school carrying baskets of goodies, and Santana can’t help but tease her friend all the way from the bakery.

“Remember, Blaine, this is a school. No hanky panky with your hot teacher.”

“Santana, may I remind you that I’m not you.”

“Shame. Your life would be funnier.”

Blaine laughs at that. “That much is true.”

The headmistress welcomes them in, smiling at the mini chocolate buns. “All the parents are talking about your shop,” she tells them as she guides them to the seats. “I must confess, I am a big fan of your concoctions too,” she adds, smiling like a naughty schoolgirl.

When she walks away to welcome more visitors, Blaine and Santana smother their laughter.

“I feel like a rockstar,” Blaine whispers to Santana when they spot people pointing at them and murmuring.

“That’s because we are,” Santana replies, flipping her hair around her.

Everybody sits in the gymnasium and the headmistress taps on the microphone.

“And now, before we guide you in groups through the complex, please welcome our choir, guided by our very own Kurt Hummel.”

Blaine doesn’t even try to contain his smile at the sight of Kurt. He looks particularly handsome, dressed in black as he bows to the applause coming from the room.

The choir launches into a medley of Beatles and Rolling Stones songs, immediately winning over the crowd of parents and teachers.

The kids may be very good, but Blaine only has eyes for Kurt, who is playing the piano to accompany the songs, and often singing along with them. Kurt is passionate, he smiles at all his young students, even the ones awfully off-key.

He’s mesmerizing.

Blaine had a medium-sized crush on Kurt, but to see him like this, it’s …

Blaine has no words.

It’s like all of his life, all of his decisions, everything lead to this moment in order to make sense.

“Oh, wow.”

“Earth to Blaine?”

Santana looks down at him, standing up from her seat like everyone else--when did that happened?--and she is smiling like the cat that got the cream. “Ah, now, you’re back with all of us. Care to walk around the school now, or do you need to be left alone a moment?”

“No,” Blaine replies grumpily, following her.

“Oh, Blaine, look who our guide is,” Santana singsongs.

Of fucking course.

“Oh, hi, Blaine,” Kurt welcomes him. “Did you enjoy the songs?”

“Immensely. The kids were great, thanks to you.”

Kurt’s cheeks turn pink and he has a pleased smile on his face. “Thank you.”

Blaine doesn’t pay attention to a lot of things during the tour, besides Kurt and his voice and his everything.

(Okay, he may be a gentleman, but Blaine is honest enough to admit that he lets his eyes drag down Kurt’s back and focus on his ass. It’s a nice ass. Given the way they met, it’s only fair.

Shut up.)

Santana stays with a group of parents who are apparently asking about “Buns Buns Buns” capacity to prepare a birthday spread, which leaves Blaine to stand close to Kurt.

“Aren’t you going to help her?”

“Oh, no. She is very good at selling our stuff.”

Kurt shakes his head. “Your friendship is an odd one.”

Blaine smiles. “She’s a good cookie.”

“If you say so.”

“Oh, you’d know so too, if you could get to know her.”

“I’d rather get to know you.”

That sentence was said softly, barely above a whisper, just for the two of them.

Blaine looks back at Kurt and smiles. “I’d really, really love that.”

“Good.”

“You know where to find me.”

“That I do. I have tomorrow afternoon free …?”

“That’s a date.”

Kurt beams at him. “That’s a date.”

As he walks back to Santana, Blaine almost feels like he’s walking on a cloud or on a meringue.

Almost.

Because Santana is never going to let go of the fact that she managed to bring them together.

(She never lets go of it. Blaine and Kurt’s grandchildren hear the story of how her artistic talent brought them together. Kurt doesn’t tell them, but really, it was their grandfather’s buns who won him over.)

[polar-stars]

Pokemon (Galar) AU - Gym Leaders

I needed to talk about something a bit more simple, before I take on the second part of the canon character’s future within “Shokugeki no Kimiko”. 

I’ve shared this information with Kana yesterday already and I thought I could share it here. 

So meep, in Pokemon (Galar) AU the Gym Leaders are the Elite 10 characters, safe for Erina who’s a Challenger (and also heir to this AU’s Macro Cosmos, but thats something I still have to think about in detail) and Eishi, who’s not Gym Leader but Champ (obviously). I’d like to say though that I matched the gym leaders more after the cities where I could picture specific characters in, rather than concerning their Elite 10 Ranking. 

First Gym Leader - Turffield

The first city with an arena to take on is Turffield. The Gym Leader to be meet here is Satoshi Isshiki.

The reason I chose Isshiki is because him and Milo are literally the same person It’s a city surrounded by lots of green and lots of farms in the end and we know how much Isshiki loves his Polar Star Farm. Also, much like Milo, he’d hold back against the challengers (like he held back in his cook-off with Soma) which is the reason why he was chosen to be the first one to face.

He gives out the Grass-Badge and faces the challengers with Grass-Pokemon. However in his free time, surprisingly to many, he does like to train the Fire as well as the Flight Type as well. 

The first Pokemon he ever caught was Gossifleur, which later of course evolved into Eldegoss. 

Second Gym Leader - Hulbury

The Port-Town Hulbury is the place where Arena Challengers face off against Somei Saito and his numerous Fish-Pokemon. 

Somei specializes in Sushi in the end, which always makes me associate with, well, fish and therefore water. So yeah, that lead to me assigning him the Port Town. 

He gives out the Water-Badge and, as I said, the Team he confronts challengers with consists of Water-Pokemon. Outside the Arena-Challenge he does also train Rock and Fighting Types though. 

His first Pokemon was a Goldeen which is now a Seaking. 

Third Gym Leader - Motostoke

Motostoke obtains the third Arena to tackle and it’s where you have to face Terunori Kuga. 

I pretty much chose this for him mainly because in the game this is also where you face the Fire Gym Leader and I picture Kuga as nothing else but a Fire Gym Leader. It’s a very industrial town in the end which easily relates to, you know, coal and steam and all that. 

So yeah, Kuga gives out the Fire-Badge!

His first Pokemon ever was a Sizzlipede, which is now a Centiskorch.

Fourth Gym Leader - Stow-On-Side

Stow-On-Side is where the Arena Challengers take on the fourth Gym Leader, Tosuke Megishima. 

In my eyes, Stow-On-Side’s aesthetic perfectly match a Ground Type Gym Leader which is a type I could see Megishima working with. Also, I don’t know, Stow-On-Side just generally gives me Megishima-Vibes. I’d like to point out that in this AU, Megishima is the one to refuse using Dynamax instead of the Gym Leader of Spikemuth. 

Megishima gives out the Ground-Badge and confronts Challengers with a Ground-Type Focused Team. I like to think he also does train some other types in his free time but I haven’t decided which yet ovo;; But I’m leaning to Steel and maybe Bug or Normal?

His first Pokemon was a Hippopotas which is not a Hippowdon. 

Fifth Gym Leader - Ballonlea

Ballonlea is home to the Gym in which Momo Akanegakubo resides. 

Ballonlea is very magical and has huge fairytale-vibes. Whenever Momo cooks, there’s also much Fairytale imagery going on (e.g. She was shown as Red Riding Hood, she was compared to the Fairy Godmother from “Cinderella”, when eating her food the judges imagined themselves turning into pixies etc.) Also, given that Fairy-Pokemon are for the most part very cute and all, I can definitely see the cuteness-obsessed Momo training the Fairy-Type. 

So yes, Momo hands out the Fairy-Badge. 

Her first Pokemon was a Milcery, which is now an Alcremie. 

Sixth Gym Leader - Circhester

Circhester is where you face the sixth Gym Leader, Nene Kinokuni. 

Circhester has something a little rustically but still very beautiful to it in my opinion (it’s my favorite city actually) and I love it’s snowy atmosphere. Given how Nene does have her rustical sides and also can certainly be seen as frosty, I can perfectly picture her as the gym leader of this town. 

Nene hands out the Psycho-Badge and faces Arena Challengers with a Psycho-Specialised Team. She’s known to have a great talent for Ice Pokemon as well though and trains them privately. 

Her first Pokemon ever was a Hatenna, which is now a Hatterene. 

Eight Gym Leader - Spikemuth

Spikemuth is the eight city to encounter and it’s home to the Arena where the Challengers have to face of against Etsuya Eizan. 

Out of the Elite 10 members, the Toned-Down-Yakuza-Man just fits the dark, grim alleyway aesthetics the best I’d say. He’s shady. He fits into this town, change my mind. Something for this AU though is that Spikemuth does in fact have a Gym and it’s also a bit bigger than in the game. I like the idea that in this AU, it’s not a city that’s without resources, but more of a city thats truly plagued with a really high crime rate(?). It’s basically survival of the fittest in this city. If you can’t defend yourself, you’re going to go down.

Anyway, I hope that made sense, but well Eizan gives out the Dark-Badge. He does also have knowledge around the Steel and Poison Type (or maybe Electric...I could picture both, not sure yet) though.

His first Pokemon was a Nickit, which is now a Thievul. 

Ninth Gym Leader - Hammerlocke

Hammerlocke has the last Arena the Challengers have to master and it’s where they meet the strongest out of the Gym Leader, Rindou Kobayashi. 

In the game this is the spot where you face the Dragon-Type Gym Leader in the end and I can most perfectly see Rindou working with Dragon Pokemon. Also, she’s the most epic to face off against last before having to take on Eishi, so there’s that. 

Her first Pokemon was an Axew now a Haxorus.

-

So yeah this was random, but thanks for listening I guess ;w; I know I’m not the best at it, but it’s still fun to think about. Should I really write that lil’, silly fanfic, now you know some more info, haha.

In case anyone is interested in that, I could also do that for the Next Gen Elites ovo;;

[lostinaseaoffictionalbliss]

Beauty & The Werewolf chapter 1

Summary: It’s Nuira Jones first year as a professor at Hogwarts and shes nervous. What she doesn’t realize is just how much her life is about to change 

Pairing: Remus X plus size!OC

Warnings: none this chapter

Word Count: 1252

It was the start of the new school year and Nuira felt anything, but ready. It was her first year as a professor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She was teaching muggle studies as well as assisting Hagrid with his classes if and when he needed the assistance. While she was excited to be returning to the school she was extremely nervous. Sirius Black had escaped and everyone knew the story of how he betrayed the Potters, getting them killed along with Peter Pettigrew. Knowing that he could come to the school, knowing that dementors would be closer than she or anyone would like, made her hair stand on end. 

Yet she climbed onto the Hogwarts Express her faithful companion Rowena, a solid grey cat, walked beside her. They were almost always together and she wasn't sure what she would do without the feline. As they walked by a compartment she paused seeing someone sleeping. She didn't want to bother him, but she was intrigued by him all the same. She looked up at his luggage and read it out loud quietly, “R. J. Lupin.” She figured he was another knew professor as he was much too old to be a student. “Let's let him rest and find some place else.” She turned to walk away, but Rowena had other plans and walked right into the compartment hopping in Lupin's lap. Nuria now had no choice, but to sit with the man she didn't know.

It wasn't long before they were joined by three students. “Hello, I'm Nuria Jones. I'm the new muggle studies professor,” she said softly.

 “Harry.”

“I'm Ron.”

“Hermione, and it's a pleasure to meet you professor.” 

Rowena lifted her head and let out a meep. She didn't like the fact she hadn't been introduced. “Sorry love. This is Rowena. Best friend anyone could ask for.” The now satisfied cat laid back down in Remus’ lap and went to sleep.

Ron looked at the cat and the man whose lap she was sitting in. “And who is he?”

 “Professor R.J Lupin,” Hermione said before Nuria could. 

“How do you know that?” Ron looked to Harry, “How does she know everything?” 

Nuria let out a soft laugh and pointed at the suitcase up above them. It was rather obvious to her that Hermione had done exactly what she had and read the name.

“Honestly Ronald it's right there.” Hermione shook her head. Nuria stood up and stretched. She had to use the restroom and figured the children would want a moment to themselves as Harry seemed like he had something on his mind.

“I'll be back shortly.” She went to leave. As she opened the door she looked to her companion, but the cat refused to move. With a roll of her eyes she left. 

On her way back to the compartment the train jolted to a stop and she looked around in confusion. As things began to feel colder she knew what was happening and rushed back to her compartment. Nuria stood frozen as she watched a patronus charm chase a dementor away. Shaking her head to clear it of the shock she rushed in to see Harry looking rather worse for wear and Lupin handing him chocolate. 

“Ah you must be Professor Jones. And I assume the rather loving cat I had in my lap was yours.” Lupin put his hands in his pockets and smiled at her. Nuria was mesmerized by how beautiful his eyes were. She couldn't seem to find her voice. All she could do was nod her head. “Well it's lovely to meet you. I'm Remus.” He took her hand and kissed the back of it. Nuria’s cheeks flushed almost matching the color of her strawberry-blonde hair. 

“Nu-Nuria,” she stuttered out and if cats could laugh Rowena was certainly laughing at her.

 “I'm going to speak to the conductor. I trust you can watch over young Mr. Potter and make sure he starts to feel better.”

 “Of course. I'll make sure he's just fine.” She licked her lips. “I look forward to seeing you at the feast.” She blushed again. She felt like she was back in school crushing on Devin all over again. She sounded over eager and much too needy to her own ears. Nuria mentally chastised herself. She was a professor and a grown woman she needed to act like it. But boy oh boy was it hard when he smiled at her like that! She knew she wasn't the prettiest girl out there with her thick thighs and curvy hips. More often than not men had teased her for her soft belly and love handles, yet Remus was smiling at her like she was beautiful and he saw her for her. It was hard not to fall for him, but she would keep it to herself.

 As Remus walked away she plopped down in a seat and just stared at the place he had been moments ago. Fingers snapping in front of her face brought her back to reality. “Are you alright professor Jones?” Ron asked with a cock of his head and a small frown. She nodded her head and grabbed her bag. Now that her head was out of the clouds she remembered she was supposed to be helping Harry.

“I'm fine dear. Don't worry about me.” She turned to Harry who was looking at her curiously. He wondered what exactly had just happened. “Here this will help along with that chocolate.” She whipped him up a cup of Chamomile tea real quick and the young boy took it sipping it slowly.

“Thank you professor. But might I ask what that was all about?” He waved his hand gesturing to where Remus had been standing when she came back. Nuria smiled sheepishly and looked down with a blush.

“It was nothing,” she whispered. Rowena chirped and flicked her tail in disagreement. She knew Nuria well enough to know that was a lie. “Oh hush you. You don't get a say.” She booped the cat on the nose.

Hermione smiled softly. “I believe Professor Jones has a crush on Professor Lupin.”

 “What? N-no no. That's not...that's to say…” Nuria couldn't even finds the words to try and deny it while Rowena hopped in Hermione's lap and gave a purr of agreement. “It doesn't matter if I did Hermione.” Nuria sighed heavily. “We're both professors. It would be inappropriate. And even if we weren't a man like that wouldn't give a girl like me a second look.” 

Ron scoffed and shook his head. “I might not get girls or relationships, feelings and all that. Bloody hell I barely understand my lessons most days, but I do know one thing. You're very pretty professor and if he doesn't give you a second look then he's a tosser and not worth your time.” 

Nuria laughed and patted Ron on the knee. She appreciated that very much. “Thank you Ron. That's sweet of you. Don't tell anyone, but you three are officially my favorite students.” She winked and they all laughed again. 

As the train pulled into the school Nuria gathered her things and said goodbye to the trio for now. Looking up at the school she grinned. Even though she was nervous about things she couldn't help thinking it would be a good year. Though a little voice in the back of her mind told her it was because she looked forward to getting to know Remus more. 

[upsettlspaghettl]

Empire City Con 2019

I can say with confidence that this has been the best weekend of my life. People will be so quick to say that the Steven Universe fandom is one of the most toxic fandoms out there, but in all my years of going to conventions, this has been the most welcoming and friendly by far. Now, this could be because it’s a convention based on one singular fandom, as opposed to the mishmash of fandoms that gather at other conventions, but even Bronycon was nowhere near this level of welcoming. Then again, I only got the chance to go to 2 Bronycons so I don’t know if I can say much.

The flight to North Carolina was surprisingly not that bad. I’m very prone to getting lost, but I left 4 hours in advance and I didn’t even need those 4 hours. But this was my first time ever flying somewhere completely alone.

I got the chance to meet Deedee Magno Hall, who signed my Guide to the Crystal Gems. Now it’s my goal to get all the character pages signed. But it’s got all the fusions of season 1, so chances are I won’t ever get the chance to get Sugilite’s page signed. Oh well, a fan can dream, right? Just kind of a bummer because she happens to be my favorite fusion.

She also validated my OC ship with Yellow Pearl which was super cool of her. Deedee is a really sweet person. While waiting in line to meet her I made friends with a kid, and he was fanboying like crazy. Later on we met somebody else, and we all did karaoke together. Then they got to do a group Karaoke with Deedee, which I was unfortunately too nervous to join. She said she would try do one with me but we never got the chance, but either way I’m so grateful. She’s a really kind person and I hope I can meet her again!

My part in the karaoke was still really fun though. Me and my 2 friends were having a hard time figuring out what song to do, and since the instrumentals were live, the people playing only had a limited number of songs they could play. Eventually we agreed on Stronger than you. But the instrumental team couldn’t play that one, so one of my new friends asked everybody to sing along and be inclusive. I got to to do the Peridot rap onstage too! Only me and 1 other person in the audience did that though so it was really scary and I fumbled a lot... but I’m still so happy that I got to because it was just such a good time for everybody.

There was actually a garnet cosplayer who’s act was right before ours and they were still by the karaoke lineup, so one of my friends asked them to come join us. Toward the middle of our act, this same friend spotted a Jasper in the front row, dragged them up on stage, and we had an adorable fake fight scene. I had to hop off stage right before the song ended to hug somebody in the front row who was crying. I was relieved to hear that they were tears of joy. In the end, they invited my group to sit in the front row with them.

Right, and Garnet’s act! They actually sang the original SU opening in German which was super amazing. Toward the end, there was a Pearl cosplayer in her Mr. Greg tuxedo who sang It’s Over isn’t it with Deedee, and a Yellow Pearl cosplayer who did an amazing Yellow Pearl-y take on Do it for her. So yeah the variety of acts was fantastic and the whole thing was just so feel-good all around.

At the very end of the karaoke, after everyone had gotten a chance and we were all just hanging out in the karaoke room, I was given a Spinel promo pin by a Mystery Girl. Not literally a Mystery Girl cosplayer, but somebody who I thought was just... well, somebody. They mentioned having extras from the movie screening in CA, and were handing them out to Spinel cosplayers. Of course I was hopping up and down being super thankful to an awkward degree, like I normally do.

That night, I told my roommates what happened, and they told me just who that Mystery Girl was. None other than Mackenzie Atwood, creator of the Pearl’s Secret Rap Career series. My facial recognition is terrible, so I didn’t realize at the time. I was lucky enough to run into her again the next morning during breakfast in the hotel lobby, so I got to thank her personally in the end.

Speaking of Mystery Girls, there actually was a Mystery Girl cosplayer who was especially awesome. Not even ten minutes after arriving at the convention, I see 2 Spinels who welcome me into their Spinel group. A Mystery Girl cosplayer is with them, and they hand me a pair of shoe squeakers. They look like tiny clear whoopie cushions, and Mystery Girl was handing them out to all the Spinels. I don’t know about everybody else, but mine drew a lot of attention from other con-goers because I was super happy and energetic at this con so I ran everywhere I went. People were always laughing and it made me so happy that I was able to make people smile. I’ll definitely be using them again in my future Spinel cosplays.

One of the people I shared a hotel room with was a Spinel cosplayer on the first day, and they were carrying an amazing Spinel plushie that I remember seeing a photo of on Deviantart, and later showed up for sale on Etsy. It was super expensive and I remember wanting it, but I couldn’t be jealous because I know I was super lucky to even see the thing in real life!

On the second day, I met a sweet little girl who seemed to think I was the real Spinel. She drew me a picture of Baby Spinel, and I gave her my drawing of Baby Spinel which I’d made earlier that day in the quiet room. Later on, one of the convention organizers was holding a game session, and this kid crushed me in a round of Gem Gem Clod... which is Duck Duck Goose, but better. Note to self: playing games that involve running when wearing pink high heeled boots probably isn’t gonna go well!

After some games, we made some meep morps. Somebody started a trend of drawing Lion on the little canvases we were given, but my Lion wasn’t coming out quite right, so after I finished drawing his head I just. put it on one single leg. You’ve heard of Leg Pearl, now get ready for Leg Lion. I was super happy about that too because I made everybody laugh.

Once we ran out of canvases, the organizer offered to take polaroids of some of us, so now me and this adorable little kid had matching photos, which we put in tiny pink frames and put a Spinel gem on each.

oh also! the game organizer had a tattoo on their leg of a bunch of anime characters, mainly the cute “squad mascot” archetype. There was Hawk, Happy, a few other characters, and Keroro! I totally freaked out over Keroro because it’s a relatively obscure series, and it was the first show that really got me into anime! I’ve always loved things like Pokemon and Naruto, but Keroro Gunso was my gateway to the anime community as a whole.

At around noon, I spent a little more time in the room where the games were held, which had some board games of its own, books, and art supplies and overall functioned as just a room to hang out in. There I met a Pink Diamond cosplayer in a pink schoolgirl uniform and an Uravity hat (really cute outfit!), and a goth Spinel cosplayer. The Pink Diamond cosplayer was a great artist and drew a really cute magical girl Steven. These 2 people also taught me what a vsco girl was when they were joking about the fact that Pink Diamond would totally be one. I was super confused but it was really funny after they explained it.

There was a cosplay fashion show much later in the day and I made friends with a Ruby and Sapphire while sitting in line. They were a couple irl and went on stage together and they were adorable! They were also both Hazbin Hotel and Harry Potter fans, so we had a lot to talk about. We kept talking while we waited in line for the Sadie Killer and the Suspects concert too, and a few other people joined us. I’d only just met these people but I really felt surrounded by friends.

Earlier in the day, while I was waiting in line to meet Kinetic Cosplay, I ran into an amazing Sour Cream and Buck Dewey. I got their photo, only to later see them on stage as a part of the real life Sadie Killer and the Suspects. Jenny Pizza was also on stage, but I didn’t see her before that.

While the convention was great, something also happened that scared the hell out of me. At NYCC just last month, I bought some very tiny stickers, one of which was Froppy from BHNA. When I got home and unpacked, it was gone. I thought maybe it fell into the fabric of my backpack, and if it did, there was really no way to retrieve it unless it decided to fall out again. However at the convention... I was at the registration table, decorating my con badge. I pick up my phone, and suddenly the Froppy sticker falls out of nowhere. It looked like it came from the phone, but I can’t imagine where it would have fit and gotten stuck. It kinda just fell out of the void. Either way I’m glad to have it back.

Lets see... I also got some pictures of the real life Mr. Universe van... and later on I ran into the owner of the van in full Mr. Universe gear.

The Garnet cosplayer was Cotton Candy garnet on the second day and I still can’t get over how sweet and nice they were.

There were some family cosplays. On the first day I saw a Yellowtail carrying a baby doll dressed as Onion, and then on the second day the same person was with a Vidalia cosplayer, and an actual child dressed as Onion.

There were also a pair of parents dressed as Connie’s mom and dad, and their kid dressed as Connie.

On the first day there was a Mr. Smiley which was super cool and unexpected, and then on the second day they were Bismuth. There were actually 3 Bismuths in total at the con which was surprising because that wig looks super difficult to make. Anyone who can pull that off is amazing!

The last day only went on until about noon, but my flight didn’t leave until the next day. I didn’t book my hotel room for that night because I wanted extra time in case I got lost on the way to the airport. Turned out there were free shuttles. I ended up in the same shuttle as that Pink Diamond cosplayer and her dad, and she showed me this adorable RPG game app called Wholesome Cats. We took some snapchats together and now I know what I’d look like as a boy...

Since there was a shuttle to the airport, that meant I was super early for my flight. Super early as in, almost 12 hours early. After going through security, I was planning to just sleep at the gate, but my gate number wasn’t on the screen. So I asked an airport employee, and he told me that I wasn’t even supposed to be let through security until the next day, which was when my gate number was supposed to show up... whoops. It wasn’t so bad though, either way I’d just be hanging out at the airport for the night. I decided not to sleep though, just in case. It felt weird late at night, when the airport was more or less completely empty. It was so nice and quiet, and the Starbucks was still open so I had a super yummy dinner of pumpkin bread and cheese danishes.

I think that’s about it? If you wanna see pictures, I’ll be posting them all to a public album on Gnomie Leviton on Facebook, and I’ll also select a special few to post on QueenGnomie on Instagram.

If you add me on FB please tell me your url! I only add people who I've talked to before.

In conclusion!

This was by far my favorite convention I’ve ever been to, because you could literally just go up to someone, start talking, and you’d immediately have an awesome new friend. I’ve never been to a con before where every single person was so approachable. It really felt like everybody there was one big family. I already have a potential roommate for next year, so I really hope to get back on my feet soon so I can go!

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 100: Beta

“Earth can set you free.”

Bismuth is the first two-part episode in the series that was structured as a single long episode. Beta and Earthlings should have been the second.

This isn’t the first time the first half of a two-parter has ended abruptly (here’s lookin’ at you, It Could’ve Been Great), but there’s a difference between wrapping up a story without much resolution and just cutting to commercial midway through the story, and Beta does the latter. It’s not even a cliffhanger, it’s the beginning of a new scene that pauses for effect and starts exactly where it left off in Earthlings. In most regions they premiered back to back, and could be confused for a single unit if not for the title card.

This isn’t an actual complaint: it’s a harmless distinction to have Bismuth as one episode and Beta and Earthlings as two, especially because Zuke’n’Florido boarded this one and Molisee’n’Villeco boarded the next. But when you’re writing episodic reviews, you have to take the segments as they’re presented, and it is really difficult to review the first half of this story as a discrete unit. The rough equivalent would be writing about Bismuth up until they exit the forge and just stopping there. 

I’m not gonna cheat and review Beta and Earthlings at the same time, despite them literally being one story. I could dig in hard to my view that they’re more connected than Mirror Gem/Ocean Gem, The Return/Jailbreak, It Could’ve Been Great/Message Received, and Super Watermelon Island/Gem Drill, but that wouldn’t change that they’re technically two different episodes, and I’m not changing the goal of this blog (to review the series episodically as parts of a whole) out of convenience.

But I am gonna cheat and pull my header quote from Earthlings. Because despite Peridot getting that wonderful moment then, it’s really about what’s happening now. 

You can apply a three-act structure to just about any story if you try hard enough, but Beta is more smoothly divided into halves: Steven and friends at the barn, and Steven and friends at the Beta Kindergarten. The second half is fine. It’s honestly more than fine. We’ll talk about it, of course. But the first half is one of my favorite things in the world.

Amethyst’s arc continues to benefit from its funky flow. Our very first shot is of her whip cracking, outfitted with Bismuth’s upgrade, evoking both Bismuth and, well, Crack the Whip. Steven is still helping her out from Steven vs. Amethyst, and just like in that episode, his encouragement is only hurting: he compliments Amethyst’s whippery (and to be fair, he’s doing it more genuinely than in their video game fight), but she reveals that she’s still down on herself. In less than thirty seconds, we’re right back into the swing of things after a huge episode that had something but not everything to do with Amethyst’s insecurities.

And then we get to the barn.

The Meep Morp Exhibit is Florido’n’Zuke’s finest hour, and I’m saying that as a huge fan of Last One Out of Beach City. It’s everything I want in hangout comedy on this show, and thank goodness it has time to stretch, because every second counts. Like It Could’ve Been Great, we get a first half with a killer opening featuring Peridot, but this time we benefit from spending about half the episode basking in its glory.

(As tempting as it is to spend the rest of the post just telling each joke and intermittently saying “that was so funny,” I’m gonna write about the characters instead of the events. I know, I know, nothing is more entertaining than reading an over-analysis of comedy that threatens to take all the joy out of one of the most joyous sequences in the series, but you’ll just have to deal with it.)

I haven’t talked much about Jennifer Paz yet, but that’s because I’ve been saving it for now: it’s easy to argue she has better showcases than Beta (Can’t Go Back is likely her best episode, and The New Crystal Gems shows off her impersonation skills), but this is a terrific medley of all things Lapis Lazuli. We get sweet and earnest Lapis, pleased as punch to see Steven. We get hesitant but assertive Lapis, smiling while delivering a pitch-perfect “No” to Peridot’s request to fly everyone into the barn. We get Daria Lapis, dry as a bone as she talks about Meep Morps (a rare honest-to-god alien joke in a show about aliens). And we get Lapis as a comedy partner with Peridot; the Paz Pic above is the other half of the image I used for Shelby Rabara in Catch and Release, and like their characters they’re unstoppable together. It’s so great to see Lapis and Peridot getting along, considering we last saw them in a tentative truce, and the new status quo we establish here pays major dividends in the future.

In lesser hands, the tonal fluidity between sincere and sarcastic could have made Lapis seem inconsistent, but Paz has mastered both sides of the equation to the point where it all feels real. This dual nature fuels the best joke of the episode—Lapis correcting Steven’s analysis of a Camp Pining Hearts teen repeating “I just feel trapped” while surrounded by mirrors by saying she just likes the show—because it’s impossible to tell if she’s just messing with us (sorry, had to throw one joke analysis in there). It’s brilliant that a character who has been ambiguous from the start can retain this trait while shifting towards the side of our heroes.

And it makes her a great foil to Peridot, the straightest shooter in the series (not because she wants to be, but because she’s so unsavvy that it’s impossible for her to hide her emotions from us). She’s the consummate host here, openly admitting her desire to impress their guests and snooty without shame as she presents her Morps by name and tells us what they represent. Her bowtie is a wonderful gag by itself, but it gets even better when we see the doll she won in Too Short to Ride, whose bowtie has clearly been ripped out, floating helplessly in the water without comment (okay, last joke analysis, I promise). 

Amethyst’s antsy desire to leave and focus on Jasper keeps us grounded: I could watch an entire episode about Lapis and Peridot showing off their exhibit without any conflict, but we have to keep the ball rolling on Amethyst’s story. Her loud lack of enthusiasm may seem mean (and it is), but showing her reject repurposed junk reveals just how out of it our trash-loving heroine really is. Plus, as she points out on their walk over, she has no reason to think much of Lapis, whose only interactions with Amethyst have been fights or playing baseball as gloomily as possible. Her attitude isn’t enough to put a damper on one of the best scenes in the series, but skillfully keeps us from drifting too far into the majestic realm of Gem Art.

In terms of the immediate plot, the actual goal here is getting Amethyst in the same room as Peridot, who’s the key to resolving her arc in two ways: she has actual answers in regards to Jasper, and she shares a history with Amethyst involving their mutual feelings of inadequacy. We get references to both Too Short to Ride and Too Far here as they talk about size and Kindergartens, and it’s a natural step in Amethyst’s growth to be helped by someone she once helped. This is a Peridot who’s aware of Amethyst’s issues with how she was made, who’s confident and even proud of her short stature, who’s a total ham with her developing metal powers, and who gives casual nicknames and pep talks when her friends are down. None of that would have been possible without her friendship with Amethyst, and it’s time for her to return the favor.

The Beta Kindergarten’s red sandstone has a warmer, brighter feel than the Kindergarten we know and fear, and we can actually see the sky. So while Amethyst’s cheerful attitude in On the Run acts as a contrast to the unsettling setting, Peridot’s snotty appraisal leans comedic. Shelby Rabara’s mean girl delivery of lines like “It was obviously a total rush job” is entertaining, sure, but it also shows a cute implied influence from Camp Pining Hearts and Lapis in her manner of speaking: it’s the same disdain we’ve seen from her throughout the series, but now through the filter of a haughty teen. We could have gotten away with a straight exposition dump about the Beta location’s role in the rebellion, because it’s fascinating lore and Peridot can be mechanical, but as ever, the opportunity is taken to characterize.

As the tour continues, that classic Kindergarten feeling creeps up on us. The eerie instrumentation that accompanies the Prime location quietly emerges as Steven takes a long look at a broken injector, and ominous percussion plays as we finally see Jasper’s hole, taking the wind out of Peridot’s rambling for a moment of whispered terror. Her attitude soon returns (I love that she dismissively refers to the enormous Jasper as “tall”), but is muted once again when we learn the cleverest plot point of Amethyst’s arc.

We know that Amethyst emerged late and small, and that she was an exception in the otherwise sterling track record of the Prime Kindergarten. But now, after minutes of pointing out how all the denizens of Beta were a mess, we realize that Jasper is Amethyst’s polar opposite: a single massive success in a sea of mediocrity. She’s not just good, she’s perfect, born right on time and flexing her muscles all the way out. It’s worth repeating that a handful of episodes ago there was zero connection between Amethyst and Jasper, but thanks to some seriously elegant writing the pair now feels fully intertwined. 

There isn’t an actual resolution to Beta, but the closest we get is Amethyst’s newfound resolve to beat Jasper. After an entire episode spent sulking, our hero is finally revved back up and brimming with enthusiasm, which leaves Peridot picking up the buzzkill baton. Amethyst may be in a better place, and her kinship with the messy offspring of Beta is heartwarming, but she still thinks the only road to satisfaction is defeating her rival in single combat. It’s a mindset that befits her quartz heritage, but I’m glad that it’s Peridot, who got out of her own slump with help from Amethyst, who feels comfortable pointing out that it’s not a realistic goal. Steven’s input has been consistent throughout the episode, and Peridot (who was once told not to focus on what she can’t do by a certain purple Gem) could have been drawn in by Amethyst’s zeal. But for all her artistic sensibilities, this is still a blunt realist, and after going out of her way to try and prove Jasper’s inferiority she’s still forced to admit that Amethyst’s goal is a pipe dream.

Steven keeps to the background here, due to that consistent input. Obviously he’s still charming and helpful, but Beta is more about Amethyst and Peridot in the grand scheme of things. It shows his continuing growth as a leader, realizing that a kindred spirit like Peridot could help Amethyst out, and he still gets a brief pep talk that gets the ball rolling on Amethyst’s rekindled desire to fight Jasper. But he’ll get more focus after the commercial break. For now, we realize that the strange holes are cages for Corrupted Gems, then Jasper emerges from behind a sand cloud, then Amethyst pulls out her whip, then

Future Vision!

We actually meet the Beta Kindergarteners that Amethyst was hyping up in That Will Be All, including Skinny and the Carnelian that Peridot mentioned.

I’ve never been to this…how do you say…school?

Dude, spoilers that Peridot’s gonna become a farmer!

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

It’s our hundredth episode! And that means a new expansion of the top list from fifteen to twenty! When It Rains, Catch and Release, Chille Tid, and Keeping It Together return to the higher heights, while Bismuth squeezes right in in the sixteenth slot. We’ll be expanding again to a top 25 at episode 125 to maintain the percentage of glory for another moment.

As for Beta itself, it was a tough call. But if I’m being honest with myself, I love the opening scene so much that it makes up for it only being half a story. I’ve watched that scene alone so many times and it still satisfies.

Top Twenty

Steven and the Stevens

Hit the Diamond

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Mr. Greg

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Beach City Drift

Winter Forecast

Bismuth

When It Rains

Catch and Release

Chille Tid

Keeping It Together

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

We Need to Talk

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

It Could’ve Been Great

Message Received

Log Date 7 15 2

Same Old World

The New Lars

Monster Reunion

Alone at Sea

Crack the Whip

Beta

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Barn Mates

Steven Floats

Drop Beat Dad

Too Short to Ride

Restaurant Wars

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Greg the Babysitter

Gem Hunt

Steven vs. Amethyst

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

Super Watermelon Island

Gem Drill

No Thanks!

     5. Horror Club      4. Fusion Cuisine      3. House Guest      2. Sadie’s Song      1. Island Adventure

[zephfair]

Day 12 Grimmichi ficlet

Day 12: Coffee Shop AU

Ichigo and Rukia are just bros working in a coffee shop who enjoy a good lazy gossip about their regular clientele.

Rated T for language

Fluff and silliness

Again, no plot, what even IS a plot???

Ichigo cleared his throat and squeezed his eyes shut. “I have a large Wile E. Coyote Acme Special for Ishinda. And an extra-large Road Runner Meep-Meep for Chad.”

“It’s Ishida, you moron,” Uryu said, grabbing the cup. “We went to high school together for God’s sake. How can you still be messing up my name?”

“Blame Rukia,” Ichigo pointed his thumb in her direction. “Her handwriting sucks.”

“What’s with the names of these drinks, Ichigo?” Chad sniffed his drink but took a sip anyway.

Ichigo gritted his teeth, but Rukia leaned over and answered for him. “It’s Urahara’s idea of snazzy marketing. He came up with all these wacky names that we’re supposed to shout, probably just to embarrass us. But only Ichigo ever does it. He’s such an obedient, conscientious employee.” Rukia happily pinched his cheek until he pulled away and swatted her.

“Stop it! I’m just trying to be a good worker.”

“It shows. Look at the rush in here,” Uryu said dryly, gesturing to the empty coffee shop.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t still be a good employee,” Ichigo said stubbornly, grabbing a towel and going to work on the counter.

“Yes it does,” Rukia leaned on the counter right in his way. “We can’t compete with some of the other coffee places around, especially that hardcore one across town. What’s it called? Hoco Modo?”

“Hueco Mundo,” Uryu corrected. They all looked at him until he pushed up his glasses in embarrassment. “They’re known for their strong brews.”

“And their good-looking employees,” Rukia said slyly. “Which one interested you?”

“Their coffee is very good,” Uryu replied primly. “And their employees at least know how to work and keep their noses out of customers’ business.”

Rukia shrugged. “We’re pretty sure Urahara is just using this place as a front for some kind of underworld activity.” She elbowed Ichigo who scowled. “Ichigo and I get to drink free coffee, be lazy and gossip about the clientele. It’s a great job.”

“Speak for yourself,” Ichigo muttered and escaped to the back to start taking stock of their supplies.

He hid away happily from Rukia’s teasing until the bell over the door rang and Rukia called out, “Ichigo, we actually have a customer! Get your cute little ass out here!”

Grumbling, he stepped out from behind the curtain, ready to tear into her. But two bright blue eyes were staring at him, right above a very white and toothy smirk. Ichigo almost tripped taking his position behind the coffee station.

“Caffe Americano with 10 extra shots,” Rukia told him.

Ichigo gaped. “Are you serious?!”

Rukia nodded solemnly. Ichigo looked back up at the customer who was still smirking. “Are you serious?!”

“Abso-fuckin’-lutely.”

“That’s a whole shitload of caffeine.”

The guy leaned on the counter, getting into Ichigo’s personal space. “Are you going to make my coffee or not, cute ass?”

Ichigo narrowed his eyes and grabbed the espresso. Oh, it was on now.

He had to look away while he prepared the drink, Rukia close at his side, the man still leaning forward. Normally, it would have made Ichigo nervous but now he was so irritated that it only spurred him on. He completed the caffeine-laden concoction and stood back with a mix of pride and disgust.

“Do you want whipped cream on that?” He glanced at Rukia’s handwriting. “Gram Joe?”

“It’s Grimmjow,” the man corrected and reached for the cup, brushing against Ichigo’s hand before he could set it down. “No whip.”

Then he drank deeply, chugging at least half of it before he wiped his mouth with his other hand.

Rukia and Ichigo looked on in awe when he didn’t fall down dead.

“Not bad,” Grimmjow said. He took out his wallet and dug out a $20 bill. He held it over the tip jar for a moment then smirked and reached over the counter, tucking it into the top of Ichigo’s apron. He winked. “Decent coffee <i>and</i> a cute ass? I’ll be back.”

“Please. Don’t.”

But Ichigo’s plea was ignored by everyone. As usual.

He trudged to the coffee shop after class and mindlessly made coffee. More customers slowly heard about the shop and trickled in, but there were still long breaks of tedium when Ichigo and Rukia would stand around and share lazy gossip about the regulars.

“When is Ishida ever going to ask out Orihime?” Rukia asked when Uryu held the door and blushed at their mutual friend.

“Chad’s band has a show tomorrow night. We going?” Ichigo asked when Chad left a stack of flyers on the counter.

“Renji asked me out again,” Rukia told him. “I said I’d only go if he asked my brother. He was so scared I think he peed a little.”

Then there was the big blue bastard who started to become a regular. After his first intimidating order, he toned it down a little, but Ichigo still managed to mangle his name accidentally on purpose. So Gram Joe became Gro How and Grim Ho and his personal favorite Grin Joy. That was the least appropriate because the only time the guy grinned was when he was leering at Ichigo.

When the time for midterms rolled around, Ichigo took a couple days off with Urahara’s blessing, but he came back to an unwelcome surprise.

He pushed Rukia immediately into the back room. “What is going on out there?” he hissed.

“Well, Ichigo, it’s a coffee shop. We make coffee drinks and serve them to customers. Have you been gone so long you forgot?”

He tried to beat her with a bag of stacked cups but she dodged and threw a stack of paper plates at his face like a discus. He ducked and the plates flew through the split curtain.

“Ow,” came a voice that sounded like Uryu.

They ignored it. Ichigo glared down at Rukia. “What the hell is he doing out there?”

Rukia glared up at him. “If you mean Grimmjow, he’s playing the guitar.”

“But why?” Ichigo knew his voice ascended into something like a whine.

Rukia shrugged. “He brought it in the other day when you weren’t here.” She elbowed him slyly. “I think he wanted to impress you.”

“Dammit Rukia,” Ichigo rubbed his ribs, “you’ve got pointy elbows. And you don’t know your own strength.”

“I know exactly how strong I am. That’s why I do it. And Grimmjow apparently wants to show you what he can do. Urahara told him he could play here a couple nights a week for free coffee.”

“So I have to put up with that a couple nights a week?!”

Rukia nodded. “That’s not so bad. And Urahara made sure to schedule you specially for the nights Grimmjow said he could play.”

“I hate you all.”

That didn’t improve when Ichigo peeked out from the back. Grimmjow sat in a corner, strumming his guitar, ignoring the group of women clustered around him. He was wearing tight jeans with rips all over the thighs and a T-shirt with the graphic so faded Ichigo couldn’t quite make it out. But he was afraid it looked like a graffiti dick and balls.

Ichigo went to his station and spent his shift making coffee refills for the starstruck women then cleaning everything he could wrap a cloth around. He pointedly went in the back and stayed there when Grimmjow took a break and wanted more to drink.

Grimmjow left soon after, leaving the women to promise they’d be back whenever he played.

Ichigo began to wonder if his budget could handle him quitting on the spot.

But the next time, Grimmjow ordered one drink and then set up in the corner without harassing Ichigo. So Ichigo got to spend his shift actually listening to the music and found himself not totally hating it.

He couldn’t say the same for all the fawning women who rhapsodized over Grimmjow.

After the second week, Ichigo realized he was looking forward to the nights when Grimmjow came in. He stopped forcing Rukia to do his drinks and made them himself. Grimmjow still leered but it was a little distracted by the ever-growing crowd of women that surrounded him.

Then Ichigo picked up an early shift on a weekend and was surprised when Grimmjow came through the door right after he opened.

“What are you doing here?” He blurted out.

“Well, I’m not here for the welcome party I always get from you,” Grimmjow said. “Gimme an extra large drip.”

“You don’t want any extra shots added?” he teased.

“Heh. I don’t really want to be any more awake today than I have to be.” Grimmjow pulled a stool over to the counter and slouched.

“Rough night?”

“Yeah. Got off work late then two of my buddies got into some kind of fight and I had to bail them out.”

“That was nice of you.” Ichigo slid the cup over to him. “So what are you doing up so early today?”

Grimmjow eyed him over his drink. “I wanted to talk to you when there was no one around.”

“But how’d you know I was working? I never open.”

“That girl, the one who always fucks with my name, she told me your schedule.”

“Well, that’s not very safe or confidential of her.” Ichigo made up his mind to take it up with Rukia later.

“Don’t be too hard on her,” Grimmjow guessed his thoughts. “She wouldn’t give me your phone number or address.”

“Geez,” Ichigo could feel his face starting to burn so he turned away and fussed with the machine.

“I wanted to ask you something. You wanna go out tomorrow night?”

Ichigo froze. He actually… kinda… did. But he also didn’t. “I don’t know.”

“I thought we could go to that Shakespeare thing at that museum you were talking about.”

Ichigo barely remembered telling Rukia about it. Had Grimmjow even been in that night?

“I was thinking about going tonight with Ishida.”

“Oh. I gotta work tonight.”

Ichigo squeezed shut his eyes and said, “Ishida won’t mind if I cancel. He can take Orihime instead.”

“Cool. You wanna meet there tomorrow night, seven?”

“Yeah. Okay.”

Grimmjow pushed himself up but Ichigo stepped forward quickly. “Here. Refill.” He sloshed coffee into the cup and Grimmjow gave him a tired little grin, saluted him with the cup and left.

Rukia was so going to get it.

“Or maybe you’ll be getting it tomorrow night,” she tittered when he told her the story.

“You’re such a perv,” he said, but it was affectionate.

“What did Rukia do now?” Uryu asked from the register.

Rukia told him an exaggerated version of the morning’s events, complete with Ichigo nearly swooning into Grimmjow’s brawny arms at the date invitation.

Uryu looked distracted and uncomfortable when Ichigo told him he’d have to cancel, but it wasn’t the suggestion that he take Orihime that seemed to trigger him. Instead he asked, “Instead of the museum, can we go somewhere else tonight?”

“Oh, Ichigo, so popular with the men now,” Rukia said from behind them.

“I’ll be by when your shift is done,” Uryu told him and left without his usual coffee.

“Orihime is going to be so jealous,” Rukia said.

“Because Uryu asked me out or because I’m going somewhere with him?”

“Yes,” Rukia said.

Ichigo wanted only to go home after being on his feet for a double shift, but he sighed and buckled into Uryu’s car when he arrived. “Where are we going?”

“There’s something you need to see. But I don’t think you’re going to like it.”

“Well that’s not ominous at all,” Ichigo muttered. He sat in a doze until Uryu parked somewhere across town. Then he looked around with little interest until he recognized the neon sign above one of the doors said “Hueco Mundo.”

“I know you seriously did not just bring me to a coffee shop,” he said in his flattest voice.

“Let’s go in.”

“Yes because what I need in my life is more coffee.” Ichigo refused to budge.

Uryu sighed. “Just trust me for once?”

Ichigo shoved the door open and stalked out. Uryu led him into the coolest coffee shop Ichigo had ever seen. It was the alpha coffee house that all other coffee shops were trying to be but only managing weak imitations of. It was fun, it was hip, it was full of cool people, and the coffee, frankly, made Ichigo’s mouth water. It was coffee Nirvana.

And then he saw the staff manning the counters. Rukia had been right—the employees must have been handpicked for their good looks.

But Ichigo only had eyes for one—the big, tall, stupidly good-looking one with the ridiculous blue hair. He stopped only a few steps inside and grabbed Uryu’s arm. “Let’s get out of here.”

Uryu looked at him but followed him back out. They walked in silence back to the car.

“I don’t suppose that Grimmjow has an identical twin?”

Ichigo barked a bitter laugh. “If there were two Grimmjows, the world would collapse under the weight of their egos. No, that was him. Stupid bastard,” he added after a beat.

Ishida was quiet as they pulled into traffic then asked the obvious question, “So why do you think he’s always coming into Urahara’s shop?”

“Well it sure as hell isn’t for the quality drinks and friendly service. And the service is about to get even less friendly.”

“Ichigo, maybe he really does like … the coffee.”

“Or maybe he’s spying for his own shop. Whatever. Who cares.” Ichigo slouched lower. “I’m done.”

They didn’t talk again until Uryu dropped him off at his apartment. “What are you going to say to Grimmjow?” he finally asked.

“I don’t know,” Ichigo admitted.

“Maybe just find out his side of the story before you go off all half-cocked.”

“Heh. Sure,” Ichigo scrambled out of the car then peered back in. “And thanks, Uryu.”

“I am sorry.”

“I’m just glad I found out now.”

Ichigo thought about it all the next day. What he really wanted to do was flip a table or throw something hard at Grimmjow, like his fist. What he really didn’t want to do was show up at the appointed time.

In the end, he compromised and showed up but angry and ready to throw down. It didn’t help that Grimmjow smiled at him—actually smiled, not leered—as he walked toward him.

“Ichigo, what’s up?”

“My temper,” Ichigo said. “Fuck you.”

“What the hell’s the matter with you?”

Injured pride shouldn’t look that good on anyone, Ichigo thought, but he went on. “I know where you work, so tell me, why the hell would an employee of the best coffee shop in this part of the country ever want to come into ours?”

Grimmjow opened his mouth then closed it with a wince. “So you found out about that, huh?”

“Yes, I did. I saw you. So let me in on it. Do you come to our sad little shop to spy? Or do you get off on slumming it?”

“Well it sure as hell isn’t the customer service,” Grimmjow told him.

“What the fuck is your deal?!”

Grimmjow batted away the stiff finger Ichigo poked into his chest. “It’s my business.”

“Not when you came into our shop and made it my business!”

“Fine, you wanna know what happened?” Grimmjow was in his face shouting back.

“Yeah, yeah I really do want to know!”

Grimmjow stepped back with a huff and looked away. “Our owner sent me to look over your place, scope out the competition. As soon as I walked in, I knew we had nothing to worry about.”

“Fuck you.”

“But then,” Grimmjow ignored him, “I did the intimidation drink thing that we always do at Hueco Mundo, and you guys were just so… so...”

“Grossed out?”

“Cute,” Grimmjow said flatly. “You two were so damn cute. And you like each other. That’s completely different than Hueco Mundo where we all hate each other’s guts. I kept coming back because it was funny to flirt with you because every time I come on to you, you get this little flush right over your nose and...” Grimmjow shrugged.

“You’re a big bully who gets off on embarrassing other people?”

“Maybe. A little. But your shop has a whole different feel than ours. People come to you because they want decent coffee and a place to relax and just be themselves. You even put up with my crummy playing. It’s … nice.”

“And you report everything back to your boss?”

“Not after that first time. Shit, he’d probably fire my ass if he knew I was still hanging out there. I think he’s got some kinda grudge against that squirrely dude who owns your shop.”

Ichigo sighed. “I wouldn’t be surprised. Urahara is definitely as nutty as a squirrel. I just can’t believe you never told us that you work for the competition.”

“You never asked me where I worked,” Grimmjow pointed out. “You’ve never asked me anything about myself.”

Ichigo had to admit that was true. “So you’re really trying to tell me that you don’t run back to Hueco Mundo and tell them everything about us?”

“Why? So they can replicate the way the steamer got away from you and you nearly scorched your face off? I sure as hell wasn’t going to tell them about the time Rukia dropped the soy milk and you came out of the back and slid and fell on your ass.”

“I could have broken my tail bone!”

Grimmjow took a step closer. “It would have been a true shame if you’d broken that cute little ass.”

“Do you really expect me to believe that the only reason you’re still coming around is because …” Ichigo felt his face burn and spread to his ears. But he still didn’t have the arrogance to say it.

Luckily, Grimmjow did. “Because of your cute little ass. And the body and the personality attached to it.”

“You’re full of shit.”

Grimmjow shrugged. “Maybe. But I’m not shitting you about this. I like you. And I like your coffee.”

“You’re ridiculous.” Ichigo grabbed him by the collar, pulled him down and kissed him. Grimmjow overcame his shock in an instant and kissed him back.

“Do you even want to go to this exhibit?” Ichigo asked between kisses.

“No, but I wanted to go somewhere with you.”

“Let’s go somewhere else then,” Ichigo nibbled on his ear.

“You wanna go get coffee?” Grimmjow smirked then almost yelped when Ichigo bit his earlobe.

“We will never joke about coffee again,” he told him seriously. “And we keep our work lives separate. No corporate espionage.”

“Got it. Now, can we go somewhere more comfortable?”

Ichigo led him back to his place where the next morning Grimmjow found out his deepest, darkest secret—Ichigo only drank tea.