#still cannot believe this image is real
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/1fd804da163873033059fe3f6e5d495f/eb3759b34e7e2966-5c/s540x810/accee9638864951212a6a0825d9b865eab9c5000.jpg)
category is: roman gladiator with a horrible skin condition realness
#mad max#furiosa#scrotus#still cannot believe this image is real#thank you josh for this moment#left the dolls gagged i fear
49 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi was it you who made the minami ‘i bring a sort of village idiot vibe to the family office’ image and if it was can you please post it here i think about it every day. a must have for every blog. thank you for your time
OH MY GOD DID I NOT POST IT ????? HERE.... my prized possession.... take good care of him will you?
#suxx#minami daisaku#yakuza#i CANNOT BELIEVE i had not already put this up#my favourite enabler loves this image. shout out to my real ones#i also cant believe i am Still making facsimiles of his tattoo#the dangers of brainrot....
318 notes
·
View notes
Text
The image used in the background of the Gravity Falls logo HAS BEEN FOUND!!
It's located in France!!
I made a thread on Twitter explaining the full story and how I even asked Ian Worrel and Alex Hirsch about it, but lemme run down quickly how it was found and where it is!
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/5cfcdfd1da21cd956a488d060fe53b95/55defe73ad1a1af8-e1/s540x810/c62321c5266373d9f2175ddaf708c7357eed02e7.jpg)
After 3 years of searching with some friends on and off, we had no real luck. I've been working on a video about it for a while but decided to try one more time. My friend @trickengf suggested looking at international logos as they may have more of the image available and sure enough...we found logos like the Japanese and Russian GF logo had more visible detail of the image.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e3ebd20266b7f91f551f55f8209a0ed4/55defe73ad1a1af8-b9/s540x810/9eeb46b607ef5405a6155881c6da32a13831cbf5.jpg)
From that, Tricken made a remake of the image and used it to find it. He ended up finding the source at about 3AM for me, lol!
My friend Fried Oreos then confirmed the image was old enough to fit the criteria of pre GF pilot, by determining the image was on the Textures website it was sourced from since 2008!
Then, my friend Alex M managed to buy the HD image and we were able to analyze its metadata for more info!
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/f8d9befa04affe6483ca90fac35de3a4/55defe73ad1a1af8-8d/s540x810/226492aa1fc27eec79fcf1a3fe3db08508af08ef.jpg)
Turns out, the image, called "LandscapeMountains0009," was taken by a Nikon D70 camera on April 18, 2007!
THE GRAVITY FALLS LOGO IMAGE IS ALMOST 18 YEARS OLD!!
From there, we began looking for the location. The meta data had no location, but other images taken around the same time showed signs of maybe the location being in Europe.
After over a day of searching, Tricken, Alex M and Oreos FOUND IT!!
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/29268602dc85f0d16096f80813cc17d0/55defe73ad1a1af8-b2/s540x810/27a0d892252e48db72b1de49b38e878569697317.jpg)
The location of the image is a mountain range near the town of Sers, France...near the border with Spain.
Exact coordinates of the closest viewable angle of the image is 42°54'23.2"N 0°06'05.6"E
This is a major discovery and one I cannot believe we did. While this search was started by me in 2021 with some friends, it was TrickenGF, Alex M and Fried Oreos who deserve all the credit for this discovery! They were the geniuses who tracked all of this down and were able to connect the dots to get to this point.
You guys are amazing and I am beyond grateful for all of this.
Finding this image means that fans can now recreate the Gravity Falls logo as they want with anything they want. For example, Tricken made this for me using the image :D
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/eada2a910f0694b2ef9e04a6c862c0df/55defe73ad1a1af8-3f/s540x810/3c695f68a640a0d8e3a61e5319ebe6a75e7e25bc.jpg)
Or, you can do this, lol
We now have it!
For 12 years as we looked at the Gravity Falls logo...we were in reality looking at a mountain in France...NOT Oregon!
So, I guess this is a major W for France but sorry, Pacific Northwest, Gravity Falls is actually French, lol!
I still can't believe we found this. I'm so happy :P
#gravity falls#gravity falls fandom#mabel pines#dipper pines#alex hirsch#mabel#grunkle stan#dipper#that gf fan#dipper and mabel#trickengf#Gravity Falls logo#Gravity Falls logo image#Texture#Gravity Falls is real and it will never die#2024 has been a great year for Gravity Falls#Sers France#France#French#Oregon#pacific northwest#Lost Media#Found Media#Bill Cipher#the book of bill#vive la france#I wonder how Alex Hirsch will react to finding out his show's logo is of a hill in France
7K notes
·
View notes
Note
🐎 new nonnie here
What if the reader discovers an old photograph of ghost!max and she started to touch herself at the photographand ghost!max was watching 🤭
— hi nonnie! Welcome welcome, hope to see you drop more filth in my inbox soon since this idea had me reeling for a while, holy fuckkk 😵💫 18+ content below
The attic was almost suffocating, its air thick with dust and the scent of aged wood. You hadn’t intended to stay long, just long enough to see if there was anything worth saving among the forgotten relics. Most of it seemed unremarkable—tattered books, dusty bookshelves and old trunks that were filled with items you didn’t have the energy to sort through just yet. But then you found it, tucked under a heavy cloth that caught your attention for reasons you couldn’t explain.
Your fingers trembled as you pulled the fabric away, uncovering an ornate frame, gilded in a way that spoke of another era. Your breath hitched once you spotted the engraving, your pulse quickening as you read the name etched in bold letters at the base: Max Verstappen.
You hadn’t known what to expect beneath the cloth, but it wasn’t this. The photograph beneath the glass was still crisp, almost haunting in its clarity. You sucked in a breath as you took him in—standing beside a sleek Formula 1 car. His race suit was unzipped, resting on his hips while the fireproofs stretched tightly across his body, showcasing his athletic build. His hair was a bit disheveled, as though he’d just pulled off his helmet, and his expression was pure arrogance, the smirk tugging at his lips sharp enough to cut.
But it was his eyes that held you captive. Blue and impossibly vivid. You’d never pictured them when you’d met him as a ghost; the faint outline of his presence had never given you such details. Yet now, staring into the photograph, they were unforgettable, piercing through time and space as though he was staring directly at you.
Your fingers brushed over the glass, tracing the curve of his jaw, the line of his smirk. A warmth spread through you, pooling low in your belly as you imagined what he must have been like in life—cocky, confident, utterly magnetic.
“Guess I always had a feeling you’d be hot, but not this hot,” you murmured, a smile tugging at your lips.
Your gaze lingered on the photograph, forgetting about the reason behind your attic visit as you felt the heat of arousal curl through you. The longer you stared, the harder it was to resist the pull of him, the fantasy that began to unfold in your mind. He was beautiful in a way that shouldn’t have been fair, and you cannot believe you hadn’t gotten a chance to see him, to feel him when he was alive.
Before you could think better of it, your hand slid beneath the waistband of your pants, fingers seeking the ache building between your thighs. You circled your clit slowly, your breaths growing heavier as your gaze remained locked on his image.
“Max,” you whispered, a plea as you slipped a finger inside yourself, imagining it was him. You could’ve called him, could’ve felt his ghostly fingers bring you over the edge just like you wanted. But you didn’t. No, this moment was for you and Max—the “real” photographed Max. You pictured how he’d smirk and how he’d look down at you as he took you apart.
The room grew colder, a chill that prickled your skin, but you didn’t notice. You were too far gone, too caught up in the way your body responded to your own touch, your mind lost in the fantasy of Max’s physical presence.
What you didn’t see was the faint outline that formed in the corner of the room, the way the air shifted subtly, charged with energy. He was there, watching. Silent, still, his gaze fixed on you as you writhed on the floor of the attic, your fingers thrusting inside yourself, your breathy moans filling the space.
He didn’t speak—he couldn’t. The spirit box you used to communicate with him was downstairs, forgotten. But he didn’t need words. His presence was tangible, even if you hadn’t noticed him.
Your movements grew frantic, your free hand clutching the frame of the photograph as though grounding yourself in the image of him. Your thumb brushed his engraved name again, a whispered, “Max,” falling from your lips as you teetered on the edge.
He watched as your body arched, as your cries filled the room, your orgasm washing over you in trembling waves. His outline flickered in the corner of the room, the air crackling faintly with unspoken energy, as though he was responding to your pleasure in the only way he could.
When your breathing finally slowed, your hand fell away, trembling with the aftershocks. You glanced at the photograph one last time, searing Max’s blue eyes into your memory for when you feel his ghostly presence again.
Even as the waves of satisfaction ebbed, leaving your body warm and languid, an ache remained—a deeper, sharper yearning that settled in your chest, because now that you knew what he looked like, you knew you could never truly sate the hollow ache of never having met him, never feeling the heat of his flesh against yours.
want more ghost!max? send me an ask with your filthiest thoughts and it’ll get answered during one of my dirty drabble days
#ghost!max#di’s dirty drabbles#🐎 anon#thef1diary fic#max verstappen blurb#max verstappen x you#max verstappen au#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen one shot#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen smut#max verstappen fic#max verstappen drabble#f1 fanfiction#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 smut#f1 x reader#f1 au#f1 x you#f1 rpf
446 notes
·
View notes
Text
Dreaming and Lucid dreaming are Shifting.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/ffcd389289131559af126d977ee663ec/3764650a0c83299d-d7/s540x810/c4974785948edfd52304911080b6b7af73f72bab.jpg)
Did that make you mad? Good, now read this till the end.
- Dreams: a series of thoughts, images, and sensations occurring in a person's mind during sleep.
- Lucid dreaming: dreams when you know you're dreaming while you're asleep.
- Shifting: a practice where individuals shift their awareness to alternate realities.
DREAMS
Since our awareness is shifting every second, what happens when we go to sleep? When our awareness stops being aware what happens?
Kids, kids, your awareness stops being aware here when you sleep. What about other realities?
When your conscious self goes to sleep, your subconscious self, which is connected to every reality imaginable what does it to?
It explores.
It explores all the different realities without limitations. Those are dreams. Every dream you've had is a different reality.
You are unaware while dreaming. You can't control these dreams. Why? Because did you think you can control your reality before stumbling upon manifesting or shifting? It's conditioning that is common in most of your dreams because you are conditioned that way, to believe reality cannot be controlled. This is why sometimes you can't differentiate between dreams and reality. Because they're both the same thing, one just happens when you're asleep.
We dream every night. The average is about 4-6 times each night. You shift every night. You remember some, you forget some. For me to explain why we forgot I'd have to make a different post because it'd get very long. For now just use Google.
"But why do my dreams revolve around this reality?" you ask. Because you're dreaming with the beliefs and conditioning of this reality.
If you were born in a magical world and were aware there, then your dreams will revolve around magic.
Shifting happens when you become aware of a different reality, When you've known only a particular reality your whole life, you subconscious only goes to different versions of that really. (I said subconscious because your conscious is asleep)
This is not fixed by the way. Like when you see a movie and you dream about it. When you become aware of a different world, you shift to (dream about) a different world.
Emotions play a important role in dreaming as well. They decide what your dream will be in different ways. Example: When you have a crush, you get a dream of being with them, it was fueled by your emotions of wanting to be with them. That there, is a reality where you are in a happy relationship with your crush.
Dreams are you shifting realities while unaware based on your beliefs, emotions, thoughts and conditioning of this particular reality.
Wait, beliefs, emotions, thoughts and conditioning? That sounds familiar. What else does that make? Oh yeah, your CR.
LUCID DREAMING
Now, since we've got the first topic covered, why can we control some dreams and not the other? People train themselves to lucid dream. It is possible to control all your dreams. When you become aware of the spiritual aspect of things, you get more vivid, lucid dreams because that is you taking control back whether it's a dream or your reality.
You can still lucid dreaming without ever knowing any spiritual aspect of anything. Why? Because shifting is the essence of existence. You shift every second, even sleeping.
You become aware in a dream and control it much like you scripted you can similar to your dr. It's the same.
I know what you're thinking, if they're the same, why does lucid dreaming and shifting feel so different?
Because you're aware of the fact that you're lucid dreaming. Emphasis on the dreaming here. You know you can control it, but you think you're still dreaming. 'Dreaming' for us defines that it's not real when in fact it is. If you changed your awareness to it being an actual reality, congratulations you've shifted with full awareness this time.
HOW DOES SHIFTING RELATE TO THEM
Dreaming and Lucid dreaming are a part of shifting. They are sub categories of shifting.
When you DREAM you're unaware of it being a dream, you think it's happening right now, but your conscious is asleep.
When you LUCID DREAM you're only half aware because you still believe that it's a 'dream' that you control.
When you SHIFT you're fully aware. Your conscious and subconscious are both in focused on one reality in front of you, like in your CR.
Everything you know or don't know is a part of shifting. Shifting is everything. Dreams and Lucid dreaming are not that different after all. They are different experiences yes. But the core of shifting is the same everywhere.
WHAT LEAD TO ME FINDING THIS OUT
I actually knew this for sometime, but it didn't hit me until a few days ago. How much we underestimate the mind in our daily life. Thinking shifting is something that leads us somewhere, when in reality it's us that leads shifting. You're all shifters because you're human. Human nature is shifting itself.
I've experimented in my dreams, becoming lucid and telling my mind to shift me places, to shift me back. Just whatever you can think of. The amount of power we hold in our dreams is the same as we hold in our daily life. Why the difference?
Time isn't real, so is reality. Who's to know except you?
Scientists do not know why we dream. Here is your answer.
This is my belief. My knowledge. My knowing. You don't have to accept this. You can think they're different, not at all related. That I'm just spouting nonsense. But then you are forgetting that we're shifting 24/7 why would that not include everything including dreams?
I'm open to opinions and questions. Please be civil and do not fight regarding this. Do not spread misinformation.
#shiftblr#reality shifting#shifting community#shifting#shifting blog#shifters#shifting antis dni#shifting reality#shifting realities#shifting consciousness#shifter#shifts#shift#shifting mindset#shifting motivation#lucid dreaming#dream#dream interpretation#dreaming#shiftinconsciousness#quantum shifting#quantum jumping#quantum mechanics#quantum physics#quantum leap
211 notes
·
View notes
Text
Death of a family
The Intern Collection:
Prequel: Death of a family
The Intern: Day one
The Intern: The Laughing Fish
The Intern: Busy Work
The Intern: Outreach Gala
The Intern: Teachers Pet
The Intern: Visiting an old friend
The Intern: Chemical Valley
The Intern: Billionaire Boys Club
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d6522d3562c170375c91d8e9962bd506/745464fa7f581611-24/s540x810/ae458ebbcb8674b423c313d7716b6c761731a7c6.jpg)
Once the warehouse went up in flames, the world went silent. A blinding light stuns my senses. Before I can react, Nightwing shields me from the shock wave as we both go tumbling down. For a couple seconds, the only sound I can hear is the pounding of his heart. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Frozen, I see my horror reflected in his pale blue eyes. We didn't make it in time.
The ash slowly descends while the two vigilantes rummage through the debris. Staying out of the way, I do my best to be productive by prepping the med pack. Prepping for the worst, but hoping for the best. A slight glimmer catches my eye from a hundred yards.
Narrowing my eyes, I stumble through the wreckage. Drawing near, I dust the fallen ash away from a metallic pendant. More specifically a metallic bird... no. oh God no. It's a Robin. Dropping the med pack in shock, I manage to choke out "Dick..."
Nightwing rushes to my side within moments.
"What is it?" He questions, "Are you hurt?"
His eyes dart across my face looking for any signs of injury. Following my gaze, he mutters.
"Oh..."
When the body is revealed, I feel nothing. I should be screaming. Crying. Cursing at a god I don't believe in... but I don't say anything. Time slows down. Once Batman takes vitals, I work on breathes while Nightwing does chest compressions. 30 compressions. 2 breathes. Every other rotation, Bruce and Dick switch out. CPR is brutal. It's hard to ignore the cracking of the sternum or the fluid spilling into the one way mask. Attaching the AED, I pray something changes. Pausing Bruce's CPR, we clear the area to deliver the first shock. Then the second. Sandwiched between rounds of CPR, the AED gives us nothing to go off of.
After a while, it becomes hopeless. Most hearts restart after the first two shocks. Bruce's determined gaze grows frantic. Using his entire body, Batman's chest compressions progressively become deeper. Too deep. I avoid looking at the face of the limp carcass. If I look at his face, then it means this entire afternoon actually happened.
"Bruce, STOP! This isn't doing anything. " Dick argues tearing the man away from his fallen son, "He's... gone."
My chest tightens at Nightwing's voice crack. This cannot be real.
Pulling himself together, the Bat's eyes meet mine. For the first time since I've met him, the calculated facade has fallen to the wayside. Pure anguish stares back at me. From the slumping of his shoulders to the tight line of his lips, it's clear as day. Straightening himself, the Bat swiftly moved the body back to the plane.
"I'll prepare Alfred for the service."
Service... Is that it? That soon?
Dick excuses himself claiming to need a bite to eat. With a lingering hug, he tells me that he'll whip me something up too. Haphazardly, I decline the offer. Dick's right of course. I haven't eaten in over a day, but... Every ounce of hunger left my body the moment, I smelled burnt flesh.
For the first time all day, I look at him.
Covered in soot, the burns are the first images that are seared in my subconscious. Black bruises lace around every external patch of skin. Underneath all the brutality, my jaw clenches. Did he always look this young? For a kid who was starting to develop a jawline, I forgot how round his cheeks were. How long ago was his birthday again? A few months? Fifteen. His thick dark lashes stay completely still while I brush the hair out of his face.
No... No.. This isn't right. This is not how our story goes... Prom. Graduation. We were supposed to be dumb kids in love. Not some high school cautionary tale.
Suddenly, it all sinks in. I can't breathe.
No more study dates at Wayne Tower.
No more reading together
No more lazy Sunday morning smiles.
No more late-night Robin visits.
Sliding down the wall, a single tear drops down my face. The pressure resting on my chest prevents any more tears. Everything in me wants to wail. Throw a fit. Kill the bastard who did this. Instead, I stare wordlessly at the smooth metallic wall furnishing.
I am too young to feel this old.
Tag list: @jjsmeowthie
#red hood x reader#red hood#robin x reader#batfamily x reader#batman#bruce wayne#jason todd#robin#nightwing x reader#batbros#batfam#jason todd x reader#jason todd x you#Jason todd#batfamily headcanons#batfamily#batfam x reader#platonic batfam#red robin x reader#dc x reader#dc imagine#dynamic duo#dick grayson x reader#dick grayson#red robin#batman x reader#bruce wayne x reader
309 notes
·
View notes
Text
How I became The Desk of Alto Clef.
My response to a SCP Group designed around Hate and Bigotry who have targeted me and others in this community.
Nah, man, my daughter is dead.
It has been brought to my attention that there is a group of people on the internet who are fascinated with my fascination of Alto Clef and Meri. Hurtful and yet cute in a way so I think now I'll choose this time and these screen grabs from their discord to explain how I came to be 'The Desk of Alto Clef'.
My Daughter died six years ago and it sent me spiraling deep into the bottom of whatever bottle I could find.
I was completely prepared to take my own life and even had the things to 'finish the job' because my life had no meaning at that point. What was another statistic going to matter anyways, right?
It was in one of these dark, drunk moments with a gun when I fell across the Volgun's video on 'reality benders and you' and fell into a rabbit hole.
Drunkenly I fumbled around the wiki and learned more about this broken man known as Alto Clef.
A man whom I could relate to in my own way. A man who, no matter what he did, could never see his daughter as I will never be able to see mine. So thus, I became a very, very shitty cosplayer.
I like to believe that over the past four years my acting ability has increased to a sustainable level and as much as I joke about things I do try to stay humble about it. Though I like to think I've become better but I digress.
I love the lore of Clef and Meri, on or offsite, to the point that I am weird about it I know, but that's how I stay connected to my daughter. Writing the Deskverse is how I stay connected to my daughter.
I am also autistic which causes me to hyper fixate on Clef as a coping mechanism.
Because of this group of people I have greatly considered leaving the community and going back to my own personal solitude. Acting, Voice Acting, Cosplaying as Clef gave and still gives me something to live for again. I may not be this group's cup of tea but I do like to believe that I have helped others. My main goal has always been to uplift those who need uplifting. I do not want anyone to ever feel how I felt in my lowest and darkest moments.
The main story in the deskverse is about a father and a daughter torn apart by the actions of an abusive mother. My real life story.
I also have ZERO clue as to why I am being involved with misogyny or yuri things. If I have offended you in any way I do apologize.
I do not plan on posting the more 'suggestive' or 'lewd' responses they have made. Overly sexualized content does make me extremely uncomfortable.
This group of people have broken my heart into pieces. Seeing this list of images and names dragging me through the mud has already smashed my unstable self-esteem as it is.
At this time I do not plan on releasing any names associated with all of this because I am honestly tired of reliving the most horrid event of my life over and over because I, for whatever reason, do not fit what this group feels is acceptable of an actor/writer/fan.
I cannot say the same for the others in which they were assaulting.
In summary Alto Clef is an outlet for the pain I live with every day. I can never see, hold, hear, smell, or speak to my daughter. I have scars on my body from her mother that will never allow me to forget that life I had. I will always remember the taste of gunpowder but thankfully my drunk ass was too weak. If your going to be bad at something, be bad at that I suppose.
I will leave all of this with a final image from the copious list and the one that honestly hurts me the most. I am honestly a shy and reserved person and frankly it takes a lot for me to get out of my comfort zone. Not long ago I went to another SCP discord server because I wanted to meet new people and someone in there was awesome. I truly enjoyed my time with this person and just found them amazing. They were kind, open, willing to listen to my ideas, and gushed over Numberonedoggo. I thought I had finally made a new friend on my own. I was apparently wrong.
Art, from some of my favorite artists, was made for the sole reason of mocking me specifically. To laugh at me for finding joy in something that gives me purpose. Something I use to drive away the darkness.
No age, disorder, illness, or reason at all can be acceptable for anyone to act in this way. You are all a mockery of everything the SCP community should stand for.
-TheDesk
230 notes
·
View notes
Text
Under the mistletoe
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/cdda45357c68e0ff1c280aec7c73efe9/3c543982726f6d12-8a/s540x810/673baec0ca91f456da36ad833276b62012ebf5f4.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/1cdfa9ce71e43c6a63d66461ef72cea4/3c543982726f6d12-ee/s540x810/fa0e8ffb73e81faab2fc841ddad868790556e1f2.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/8fd108c6882ea3907f575ab1eca83073/3c543982726f6d12-05/s540x810/60042df58f3d69c515f36bc5c26c2030f07ed1d0.jpg)
Pairing: Yang Jeongin × Gn!reader
Genre: fluff, friends to lovers
Warnings: reader is lowkey oblivious but not really, that's it?
A/n: so this is my Christmas post 🙂↕️
Daily click
"Questions can be saved for later, just follow me" with that, you had absolutely no chance to talk back as he was already walking away, expecting you to actually follow him.
You were at the boys' Christmas party, celebrating the holiday with your closest friends - including Jeongin - but this specific person seemed to have other plans. Ever since he laid his eyes on you, he had been trying to get you to talk to him alone and, preferably, outside. Now, he was succeeding.
"What are we going to do on the balcony?" you asked, trying to keep up with his pace "It's freezing out there."
"I said no questions for now. Just trust me, okay?"
Once again you weren't able to respond, as he was already opening the door for you: "after you."
And so you did. Outside, it was in fact cold, snow slowly falling down. When you looked at Jeongin you expected to see him either shivering because of the weather or with a mischievous grin, that would explain the reason as to why you're far from the party. However, you notice him nervous.
That's odd.
"Jeongin? Are you okay?"
He seems to be lost in thought, his gaze nowhere near where you were, looking up instead.
"Yeah, yeah." Basically a synonym to no.
"Are we here for a reason...? You seem to be a little-"
"Oh yes, actually" he replied rather quickly, walking to the spot he was looking at before "Come here, there's something I want to show you."
You followed his lead, getting closer to the view. Though he wasn't looking ahead, so you didn't know if that was what he truly wanted to show you, you couldn't help but be awestruck. You had seen that scenario a few times before, every time you visited the boys' dorm, but never had it felt so magical.
"Is that what you wanted to show me?" You slowly look at him, your eyes not wanting to leave the beautiful sight ahead of you "it's beautiful."
"I mean, that as well." He looked up quickly, and you almost didn't realise this small gesture "but there was this other thing..."
As his voice died out, you looked above only to finally notice what this all was about:
"The mistletoe" you smiled. He was waiting for you to see it. You look at him, his eyes not exactly meeting yours just yet "What? You brought me here and aren't even going to kiss me?"
With this last statement he finally looked at you, a bit of excitement and hope shining on his eyes. Your smile didn't seem to falter anytime soon, as it was growing even more with his reaction.
"Can I?" he quietly said, afraid of doing anything that could ruin the moment.
You smile, barely believing it. You had been waiting ages for something like this: any opportunity, any moment that would give you the chance of becoming something more with Jeongin. And then he, during the holiday season, simply makes a whole plan to give you that chance.
It was adorable, to be honest. How he was so determined to bring you under the mistletoe, but still let you silently know that whatever you wanna do from now on is up to you. He's letting you choose. And no matter when, either on Christmas or on any other normal day, you would always choose him. And so you did:
"We cannot break a tradition, can we?"
Masterlist I you'll probably like: Christmas with skz
Reminder this is just fiction!! I'm not trying to portray real life and you shouldn't believe that this is how the member actually is. This is just for the vibe and the delulu!
Taglist (open!): @yuyubeans @dandelions-143 @sleepyleeji @jinnie-ret @sheraayasherrecs @rockstarkkami @urlocalmultigroupfan (couldn't tag in bold)
Divider by: @enchanthings-a | Images 1, 2 and 3
#celi drabbles#stray kids x reader#stray kids x y/n#stray kids x you#stray kids fluff#stray kids imagines#stray kids drabbles#stray kids fics#skz fluff#skz fic#skz x reader#skz x you#skz x y/n#skz drabbles#skz scenarios#skz soft hours#skz soft thoughts#yang jeongin#i.n fluff#i.n x reader#i.n x you#i.n imagines#i.n scenarios#i.n x y/n#i.n drabbles#i.n fic#stray kids#skz#i.n#jeongin fluff
201 notes
·
View notes
Text
Midoriya's Delusion
This is post that builds upon my previous one, I've copied many of the points I made there to here. Albiet with some corrections and tweaks.
To summarize, I have a bit of a crack theory that chapter 430 isn't as real as we've been led to believe. (As for when this actually takes place, that's up to you but I like to imagine the start of his third year marks the beginning of his mental decline.)
(As an update, I find it dubious whether 8 years have actually passed or if that's also a part of the fantasy. I can see Midoriya becoming so attached to the lie that his reference of time begins to warp)
This theory mostly comes from some inconsistencies in regards to the hero rankings and some other things I've found.
Corrections:
It's left ambiguous whether Best Jeanist and Endeavor are still active. However the fact that people view these two in a postive light (especially after Dabi and the war) still seems absurd.
2. Midoriya wasn't outright abandoned, rather their busy schedules make it hard for their days off to coincide. This falls apart when you look at this panel
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/f36698fbb3f9d0839cb6615e786eff0b/d505aafeecca50ed-b7/s540x810/fac1c17bad2cd4e3fba4382f9d4ec11445956aa8.jpg)
"The rate of new villains keep decreasing and the number of heroes have stabilized"
Besides Ochaco who's funding a quirk counseling project, the rest of the class should be able to make time. Again it's stated that they aren't actually fighting.
There's no real threat to face. Besides PR and Community Service there's bot a whole lot else (besides the occasional natural disaster)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/513ed73e8a537fd23c83559d6740b54f/d505aafeecca50ed-3e/s540x810/b90ca181ca0a0dd4be76420d60de37f0802c8944.jpg)
One could argue it's because the scope of what heroes do is increasing, thus keeping them busy. But again, we see heroes doing exactly what they did before, PR, Advertising and (implied) Showboating.
This leads me to believe that the lack of contact is based in reality, to some extent.
Whether it was by choice or forced by their (1A's) respective PR teams to preserve their images (can't be seen around the "freaks" for too long, now can we?).
The lie comes in the form of busy schedules.
Now whether that's what Midoriya tells himself or what he's been told, I cannot say for certain.
Disturbia:
For those of you who didn't read my last post, you may be wondering, so what's going on?.
Simply put:
Midoriya's having a breakdown fantasy to cope with the fact that he won't be becoming a hero due to the loss of his quirk.
Im aware it sounds crazy but consider the following:
1. Midoriya subconsciously knows the way he's been treated was wrong.
This manifests within the escapists fantasy in Bakugo's drop in the rankings + the attitude surrounding him (as well as his damaged hand never fully healing)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/cfb65811509b0865ca665e12935a937c/d505aafeecca50ed-52/s540x810/8b9b6cf1ca6134811df56f1e4fd9b565762a42a8.jpg)
He meets a kid who just so happens to be in a near exact same position as he once* was (and still is to an extent). One could take this as his mind's way of trying to cope and heal itself, by having Midoriya do what he does best and help others, henceforth working though his trauma by using the kid as a stand in.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/f08bfc773004ed101a0cd03f015b69a7/d505aafeecca50ed-c6/s540x810/60de1433bb4a8f1339b3a6053decdcb82e95b3f5.jpg)
*Even the kid's "bully" seems to be a warped version of Bakugo (perhaps this is how Midoriya tries to fool himself into believing how it was)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4c18436e69135e6f4ff02f05d59157c4/d505aafeecca50ed-71/s540x810/702a5303f4dc78e3bdf90ad0313b1cf761d5be15.jpg)
2. We see Kota.
I believe that here, Kota serves as what Midoriya thinks he could have been had he not failed. Kota is the idealized version of Midoriya here, the unobtainable.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4cd2ae6f462164ed2e206ab1deec9c13/d505aafeecca50ed-d4/s540x810/f07edcf6a37b7024332e00a5d250da6aa4c2dd37.jpg)
3. A lesson ignored
Apparently people forgot the connection between Endeavor and Shoto. You'd think this would be a good thing as Shoto would be able to become his own person.
This falls flat when you remember that also includes people forgetting the reason and happenings behind Shoto's existence, it feels like Midoriya is trying to have his cake and eat it too
To elaborate, this is a major copout, it allows Shouto to be unaffected by his family's past bith career wise and emotionally. While also feeding into Midoriya's rather toxic belief that forgiveness is required to be a good person.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b059c02a029fa1fd961905bad860100b/d505aafeecca50ed-74/s540x810/f2ef1398d01418b1f45ff06ca9eaea6da7f2263c.jpg)
(The fact that killing Tomura violated this only adds to my theory that this whole thing is an escapist coping mechanism.)
(You can also add the idea that Tomura didn't forgive society for what they did to him and his friends. That likely broke all the "rules" that Midoriya knew.)
4. The Mech Suit is a massive cope, it's the dying whimper of Midoriya's childish hope that All Might will save the day.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2aa484ff5c91e599e21e8ee010793d9a/d505aafeecca50ed-75/s540x810/f8ef8c7875c172f606f1dc2de048363f22bd1c06.jpg)
This time there's no magic quirk, no garrish mech suit, no plot twist.
No. There's only Midoriya and the consequences of his, his classmates and hero societies actions. It doesn't matter how shiny and seamless the illusion, how sweet the lie.
You can't hide the blood.
Concerning Aspects:
That was mostly the revised stuff, let me introduce you to some new points
1. A Frozen Lake
Something I noticed was certain characters seem to be almost frozen in time, as if someone tried to continue a story using scraps of the original text.
The curious case of Rei Himura:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/1afb67120f02b1c377eec8c37415d6b0/d505aafeecca50ed-85/s500x750/36744c420b73b7933fb6bb054e60f4880a547943.jpg)
This scene seems almost stagnant, what was most noticeable was Enji's bandages still being on and Rei still being there.
It's as if Midoriya hasn't seen them in years (or perhaps doesn't want to acknowledge what happened). So his mind uses what he last saw/heard of them, creating a sterile, static scenario. Little better than props.
Those surrounding her (with the exception of Hawks) also seem to be stuck in the past.
It's definitely strange.
2. See No Evil, Hear no Evil, Speak No Evil
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/c45e14c5dccd7b38c6230a7f11677657/d505aafeecca50ed-13/s400x600/49e3aa4fb0cb07dd2d9a63f1fc6cd3573fcde38b.jpg)
Shigaraki is a representation of Midoriya's repressed guilt and his fears. I believe deep down Midoriya knows that, inevitably the cycle will repeat, so long as the system is allowed fester and wallow in it's complancy.
I find the fact that he's behind Midoriya to be ironic, as if to say: don't look back, don't think about what you've done.
A Symbol of Stagnation:
I should warn you that it does get lengthy from here, however I think it's important to get the full picture. Even if I tend to ramble here.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/dfa2cf379ebbf3f12b33fc7515f65238/d505aafeecca50ed-07/s540x810/1d06c81752f5b9dc728ba1bef65d5cb677cc3d79.jpg)
It's implied here that Lemillion's the top hero. This is awful for a variety of reasons. Mirio is a horrible symbol.
All Might was flawed for a variety of reasons, but a majority of these were byproducts rather than directly being his own doing.
Mirio on the other hand, has such a cancerous philosophy that it actively harms all who interact with it.
Mirio is a follower, he follows orders first and asks questions never.
Eri is the best example of this. Even after Nighteye's death, Mirio never truly reflects on the damage his actions could have caused ( only saved by the narrative, seriously it's a miracle Eri trusts anyone besides Midoriya after being abandoned like that)
You see, the difference between Toshinori and Mirio lies in their actions and principles.
Mirio left Eri to die, all for the sake of the "mission".
For all the heroes knew, Eri could have been a trafficking victim and either have been killed or relocated. But no, appearances and "gotta catch em all" take priority even after knowing Eri is in the Yakuza's clutches.
Lemillion made the worst decisions possible. He followed a known murder into a secluded, restricted area (with a hostage mind you) bringing his pupil with him.
Willingly ignored blatant signs of abuse (just look at the girl) and played hooky with thre leader of a criminal organization, who is known for his short fuse and willingness to kill.
He did all of that, when he could have easily detained Overhaul at any point (his quirk being a direct counter)
Toroshinori would fight tooth and nail in that situation. Consequences be damned if it meant saving Eri.
Part of the reason Toroshinori was so effective as a hero was 1. His sense of justice and 2. His compassion.
Mirio is a symbol that can be controlled, a weapon if you will.
The fact that Mirio is at the top shows that things haven't changed and are even beginning to decline. So this brings me to my next point
You may be asking, if Midoriya's losing it in his own mind, what's the outside world look really like?.
Allow me to set the stage.
4. Speculation
Within Midoriya's muddled mind, Lemillion represents both his toxic optimism and a subconscious understanding that nothing has changed. It represents denial and acceptance, a dysfunctional middle ground that's easy enough for Midoriya to stomach.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/ac7db41f0fd300376fd9c704e74f1cd4/d505aafeecca50ed-43/s540x810/8c4d3b4f3916dbc4f2c1770797fcd1e5aa758b55.jpg)
The truth of the matter is, delusion or not, the reality is soon to sink in.
Something that I don't see discussed is the lack of reactions from other nations or really any insight into how they were affected by everything that happend.
Here's the idea: Most likely they are foaming at the mouth.
Particularly it's the countries who suffered under Imperial Japan in the past (Korea, China, Singapore etc), however this also applies to every nation Nedzu brow beat into aiding with the rebuilding efforts, albiet their reaction would be latent.
Not not only is the attitude painfully reminiscent of how Japan handles it's past atrocities, Japan has had them clean up their messes. seen below:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/595483a8e17fbb215db603b82a046d26/d505aafeecca50ed-f7/s640x960/d828fe86d2e05214e0dbe4b5988de5e473db1d86.jpg)
(you cannot tell me Big Red Dot over here is having a good time)
From an outside pov. The Commission never told anyone about AFO, rather they suppressed any information, locked him up in Tartarus and then sat on the whole situation until it blew up in their (read: everyones) faces.
He then proceeded to: kill over 8000 people (+ those killed during the Blackout period), kill the top hero of one of the world's most powerful nations and incite mass panic. Destroyed massive amounts of infrastructure and transport nationwide, broke thousands of criminals out of prison, destroying those prisons in the process.
Meanwhile the heroes:
Abandoned civilians in mass by quitting in the middle of a war.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/00418ccc28a0c50dd40214bf4da6b9bc/d505aafeecca50ed-61/s540x810/5c8e35e2d2ac9162424c771be12d6f28b1cb4eb7.jpg)
Left the public in the dark for months and allowing crime and paranoia to grow rampant, even (forcibly) bringing someone they knew was being targeted by AFO and his forces to the one place they could find shelter.
Mutilated a seven year old girl. Who has a history of being mutilated for the gain of others and patted themselves on the back. (Also having no holdup on how that may effect her physically via her quirk or mentally via her trauma)
Mic: tried to kill a docile prisoner who could be considered in comatose, based off of his emotional attachment to a dead man + viewing it as justified if it meant Spinner couldn't get to him.
Used hospital staff and patients as meatshields (Central Hospital) during a riot.
Most had no qualms supporting a child beating eugenicist and implied marital rapist, even with his one of his victims exposed him and citing it as his main reason for turning to villainy.
Held an illegal questioning* with said abuser while ignoring his main victim (Rei, who is probably the most reliable source of information there)
(*which effectively is like conducting an investigation on yourself and declaring you are not guilty)
And so much more! (But this post is getting too long)
My point is by the time everything was said and done, it seemed everyone but Japan was paying for it.
It's outright stated that the US president risked national security by sending every hero they had to help Japan. (Impeachment worthy if you ask me)
Endeavor's little plan to kill himself and Dabi in a blaze of death ended up disrupting the weather. Very likely it'll end up resembling an El Niño phenomenon, only vastly off schedule and even more destructive than normal.
For Reference [https://oceanservice.noaa.gov/facts/ninonina.html]
Very likely it'll lead to an agricultural drought in the northern America's and mass flooding in southern America's, likely starting at the west coast and bleeding inland. Leading to a domino effect where cost of living surges due to the sudden displacement of people and the rapid loss of products.
Worse still, because the US had no heroes (likely for months on end), crime has likely surged in the America's, which will further impact the rest of the world.
The rebuilding efforts likely emptied the wallets of most participating countries, leaving them unable to help anyone, including themselves.
Also keep in mind that Japan incriminated themselves with the Business Course footage. I don't think the general public (outside of Japan) is going to take too kindly to a known murder and abuse apologist being in charge of a system already known for it's corruption.
The end result is likely be a world that detests Japan, either from a moral perspective (Rei's treatment + the treatment of those society abandoned), a financial perspective (we can't afford shit and you contributed to that) or historical perspective (you do this everytime and ignore the consequences).
A world divided by struggle and united by an immense loathing for the Commission's Japan and the culture surrounding it.
Oh, don't forget there's no finding left for quirk research. Meaning that it's very likely no one will be prepared for quirk singularity to start manifesting in the upcoming generations (Thanks Nedzu).
_______________________________________
Update: Can I just say that Aizawa's lack of ownership infuriates me even though this is likely a fantasy and not grounded in reality.
Like what the fuck do you mean "with the way he talks, it was pointless" Fantasy Aizawa.
Because "Hey Asshole", You deliberately ignored his attitude and offenses!. And what? Now your just gonna shrug it off like it wasn't your fault. To hell with that you had two years, most teacher are said to only get one. As you so graciously mentioned at the start of this shit show of an epilouge.
Heres the moment I'm referring to btw:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/cfb65811509b0865ca665e12935a937c/d505aafeecca50ed-52/s540x810/8b9b6cf1ca6134811df56f1e4fd9b565762a42a8.jpg)
While we're at it. Are you telling me it was too hard to get Momo some proper attire all three fucking years she was at UA for.
Not to mention Toru is still naked, how the fuck hasn't she died yet, she is literally exposed to the elements (and lord help her of she gets a cut)
Kirishima's costume is still his biggest liability considering it exposes his chest and back (also seeing as even when hardened he can't repell bullets)
Does Denki still fry himself with his quirk?
Before we move on Aizawa. How's that daughter you neglected, her horn still broken?.
Speaking of which let's look at the rescue team:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/ce9e9ddf4586d71b63b0987a09333c9f/d505aafeecca50ed-9e/s540x810/2072672e95cfc4a5264aa73505190e180ce85453.jpg)
What the hell is this!?
Let's see, we got a guy who can only do damage (and his sweat detonates on contact, destroying whatever it touches.)
A brainwasher who only got into the hero course via nepotism and who can only brainwash people who directly respond to him!. A person trapped underneath rubble either frantic or groaning in pain isn't going to be able to respond or even just give consent.
(On a side note what are the laws regarding mind control quirks, does some sort of waiver have to be signed, can a person sue for being controlled against their consent?)
Oh, but wait there's more.
Midoriya running headlong with experimental tech that has, very likely never seen the light of day. Let alone preform in an actual high stakes situation before.
You're trying to carry someone and oops! Something malfunctioned or was miscalculated, now there's an even bigger mess (hooray!)
Who could forget Mezo "they'll come for your kids" Soji. Who climbed the ladder and pulled it all the way up.
Yeah forget that Heteromorph's were getting hate crimed long before the war, ignore the fact that you yourself were maimed by an angry mob after doing one of the most heroic things a person can do. Dismiss Spinner's comment about being sprayed with Pesticide for walking in public.
Nah screw it, let's all sing Kumbaya while the Creation Rejection Clan runs wild outside the reach of the cities, then ignore that the discrimination still is prevalent in the countryside and it's only a matter of time before somone gets fed up and takes matters into their own hands. (talons, claws, you get the picture)
But your a hero now Soji, you got your's. So fuck the rest of 'em
And don't even get me started on Hawks. Congratulations you ignorant bastard, way to kill time and by that I mean for everyone but the heroes.
"Yeah life is great!, everyone hates us, we're rapidly falling into debt from all that rebuilding 8 years back."
"Speaking of which some of those buildings are staring to fall apart due to being rushed to meet deadlines set within the month they were started."
"Social darwinism is on the rise and people are becoming more complacent that ever before due to heroes applying bandaid solutions on decade long, deeply ingrained problems."
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/7b1f1f66483a7808012b234a6a2e1360/d505aafeecca50ed-32/s540x810/69e71c0dfa0aa2e5492f8cf248328b245c800f4d.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/5f31cbc6d66a61e9be8900ef6faf3cf8/d505aafeecca50ed-40/s540x810/c49f3e89bb2eb608bfa5a2002718af0978eef685.jpg)
"All so the average person doesn't have to think about what's festering beneath society's floorboards, so thank you Safety Commission. Here's your star of positivity ⭐️." - Some random anti-hero civilian
So much for greatest heroes, huh.
_______________________________________
UPDATE 2:
A dark thought I just had, is that the main reason Izuku killed Tomura was because Tomura broke the rule of "Forgiving Your Abusers makes you Good".
When Tomura refused to relinquish his hatred, when he stood his ground, that is when Midoriya decided he had to die. If not to "stop" him, then to preserve Midoriya's perception of the world .
Shigaraki + The LOV by their very ideals went against everything Midoriya has had beat into him by Bakugo and Aldera over the years.
Makes me wonder how'd he react to a person refusing to forgive their abuser. If he interacted with Natsuo or Rei, I could see that delving into a complete mess.
Now that I think about it, The Midoriya we know now, he would have never tried to hold onto Eri back when they first met.
Ironically, he became what he named himself after, a Deku. A puppet attached to thorns of liquid gold, glistening and burning hot.
A slave to his own biases and belief system, now trapped in a stage of his minds own making.
First bound by his past, then by legacy and finally, now by his own hand.
木偶.
#bnha critical#mha critical#hero society critical#anti bakugou#midoriya critical#just a bit#hawks critical#anti shinsou hitoshi#anti eraserhead#anti enji todoroki#anti endeavor#anti aizawa shota#anti aizawa#anti mirio#lov#league of villains
284 notes
·
View notes
Text
We should talk about The Lords in Black I'm gonna do that right now because I wanna talk about their trope subversion and symbolism and shit.
So obviously The Lords in Black are a subversion of Cosmic/Eldritch horror and I'm gonna explain how using an ant metaphor
So the classic ant metaphor for cosmic horror is to imagine that you're an ant encountering a piece of human technology, right? I believe it's usually a circuit board. The whole point is you're witnessing something deeply incomprehensible and unfamiliar.
The ant metaphor for the Lords in Black is: imagine you're an ant and a teenager starts burning you with a magnifying glass.
It's still incomprehensible, but not in the way the complexities of a circuit board is. If you were suddenly stricken by a scalding beam of light, the only way you could rationalize that is that it was an act of a god. You and your ant colony would invent and fear this god.
The Lords in Black each represent a kind of strange and inscrutable cruelty that the modern world offers, the cursed lasers that cut into our souls, from places we have no power over.
Wiggly is obviously the idol of capitalism. Animalistic desperation, commodity fetishization, and the exchange of money, products, and emotions. All of the things that the other Lords represent stem from elements of capitalism, hence why Wiggly is THE Lord in Black, the leader of his brothers. What Wiggly offers will never be enough. He is what leaves you always unsatisfied.
Nibbly is the idol of the consumption of human beings as products. Obsession with self image and presentability, trends of all kinds, and the beauty and fitness industries. People in the modern age are desperate to be consumable, and some would go to any lengths to do so. This is an attitude that especially impacts women, who feel that they need to wear make up every day just to earn respect. And when we feel the need to change to be respectable, the need to look appealing and to be consumable, the bourgeois eat well. Our quest to look special makes us like any other customer, filling. It's no mistake that the two leads of Honey Queen are women desperate to be noticed and respected. It makes them all the more eager to be eaten.
Tinky is the idol of infinity and repetition. Dead end jobs, middle class suburbia, and the inability to escape one's circumstances. It's no coincidence that the first time we see Tinky is at a wedding, a ceremony dedicated to eternal commitment, or that he's associated with CCRP, a company in which most of the workers do useless busywork all day. When you look at the life you have ahead of you, it can feel crushing. Will you ever have a real career to be proud of, or will you be stuck at this job until you die? Will you ever not struggle to make rent? Will you really love your spouse forever? What if you don't? Isn't it just easier to continue the routine than to address the problem? After Ted is driven to insanity by the Bastard's Box, after he discovers that he can't escape the person he's become, he becomes homeless, one of the most terrifying eternities a person can find themselves in, fully dependent on random acts of kindness to survive while your situation drives you further into insanity.
Blinky is the idol of the panopticon. Gossip, public drama, and unwanted attention. One of the first things Blinky does on screen is sexually objectify a girl who's fresh out of high school, and this plainly displays a consequence of living in a content driven world. There is constant scrutiny and interpretation given to your every action. At any moment, you could have over a thousand eyes on you, whether you want them there or not. The panopticon we live in captures us in moments of time, and turns the person we were in that moment into an object deserving anger, embarrassment, lust, admiration, judgement, or anything else a watcher might assign. But Blinky also targets another fear, the fear that we feel when we can't see the danger, and cannot protect ourselves or those we love. Alice's anxiety that Deb might cheat on her when she's not around are made manifest in Watcher World, and Bill's frustration at not being let into Alice's life are used against the family. We are inclined to both want and fear the panopticon. We hide, and we seek, and we expose.
Pokey is the idol of tyranny. Complacency, sedation, and obedience. The world revolves around the few and uses the many in service of this. We are all expected to fill some role in service to the rich, to work for a corporation and to buy the products of those corporations, and when we cannot fill these roles we are at risk of starving, or being kicked out of our homes. We must join them in their quest for profit, or die. But we must also accept their pacifiers or we will be driven insane. We must choose between complacency or despair in confronting our place in the world as a pawn, as an ant in the colony. Isn't it easier to accept the comforting lies? Your job is important. Corporations give people what they want. People in power deserve their power. People in power are using it well. We are happy. America is great.
These are the magnifying glasses that are being used to torment us, that we cannot make reason out of, that we've made dark gods out of. But this isn't the first time humanity has encountered scorching light from the heavens. When the people of ancient Greece witnessed burning rods of light, falling viciously from the heavens, they invented Zeus.
But we know where lightning comes from now. We know the science behind electricity and its place in the world. We know what keeps lightning away and what attracts it. We can protect ourselves from it.
But there's an important difference. Lightning is natural. It's existed long before we have and it will continue when we're gone.
The unorthodox cruelty of being alive today is not natural. We cannot logic our way into surviving it because it does not operate under a sound logic. But we can make things a little more bearable by focusing on what is sound, understandable and natural.
There is humanity. There are families friends and lovers who would go to the ends of earth to protect each other. As long as we have this humanity, we have hope.
That's why Miss Holloway's deal with the Lords erases her from living memory after her temporary deaths. To have the powers that she does she gave away the power most important to have under the Lord's rule: human connection. The only real thing we have left.
Alice and Bill escaped Blinky's manipulation through the love they have for each other
Emma survived the longest out of any character in tgwdlm because of the genuine hope Paul gave her of a better future
Lex snapped Tom out of Wiggly's control by reminding him of what his son really means to him
Ted couldn't escape Tinky's plan for him because he was too jaded to make a genuine connection with a woman.
Linda was eaten by Nibbly because she didn't have a loving connection with her father, because her father always made her believe that she was never good enough, because this mindset led her to take for granted the connections she did have in her life.
The world no longer cares about us. We have to care for each other. It's the only thing we have left
#starkid#tgwdlm#black friday#nightmare time#npmd#hatchetfield#pokotho#bliklotep#tnoy karaxis#nibblenephim#wiggog y'wrath
300 notes
·
View notes
Text
Seeking Forgiveness [Part Eight]
Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader Word Count: 6.4k
[Summary and Series Masterlist]
Warnings/tags: 18+ contains angst, emotional hurt, delayed comfort, pregnant Reader, mentions/fear of miscarriage
a/n: It's been awhile since this fic finally had an update, but here y'all go! Make sure you heed the added warning for this chapter--mentions/fear of miscarriage will be found in this update. Feedback is always appreciated!
Holding the soft cotton baby pajamas up in front of yourself, a faint smile ghosted over your lips. Unconsciously your left hand dropped down, landing on the swell of your growing bump as your eyes traced the cute pattern of white bunnies prancing around the yellow fabric.
As you stood there staring at the pajamas in your hand, you could see a picture beginning to clearly form in your mind. A little baby with a dusting of dark hair like Matt’s was cradled in your arms, wearing this onesie. A clearly exhausted Matt shuffled his way into the bedroom, heading over towards you with a prepared bottle in his hand, his eyes half-lidded. His tee-shirt was wrinkled and stained with a bit of old spit up near the collar, but he clearly hadn't bothered to change. The only thing he seemed concerned about was his daughter in your arms.
When he reached the pair of you, he extended his arms out to take her from you, eager to feed her. You passed her gently off to him, watching as he held her so carefully in his arms, pulling her in towards his chest like she was the most fragile thing on Earth. And then he'd lean down towards where she was cradled in the crook of his arm, talking in hushed tones with a broad smile on his face as tiny fingers reached up, brushing along the stubble of his jaw while he spoke.
An expression full of warmth and love broke out across Matt's face, his eyes crinkled at the corners as he gazed down at the little baby in his arms hungrily drinking down the formula from the bottle with happy, soft little squeaks and grunts. That glimmer of love in his eyes only grew more as he glanced back up at you, a smile full of joy and pride stretched wide across his mouth despite the fact that it was three in the morning.
“I cannot believe you're having a girl!”
The sound of Marci’s excited voice had the mental image quickly fading from your mind. Tongue feeling suddenly thick in your mouth, you blinked back the tears threatening to spill forth as that smile on Matt's face vanished from your mind completely.
It had been a beautiful image while you'd imagined it, at least.
Clearing your throat, you set the pajamas back onto the display table. Your gaze lowered to your bump, your hand affectionately running across it.
“Yeah,” you agreed. “Finding out I'm having a girl definitely made this feel even more real than it already had been.”
“Are you going to tell Matt?” Karen asked from behind the display table, her blonde brows high on her forehead. “That you found out you're having a girl?”
You nodded, your attention returning to the little yellow onesie you'd set back down. Running your fingers across the fabric, an ache hit you hard in the chest. You did your best to ignore it.
“I am, yeah,” you replied, glancing back up at her. “But I just found out this morning and I…don't exactly know how to tell him, you know? We've exchanged a few texts since he stopped by the other week and dropped off that pregnancy pillow and weighted blanket, but things are still a little odd between us. And I feel like this is news you share with the father in person, not in a text.”
“So you've been talking?” Marci asked curiously.
You watched as she pulled a tiny hanger from the rack she was looking at, lifting up a small green dress and showing it to Karen. The pair audibly cooed at the little outfit.
“A little,” you admitted to her. “It's hard for me to talk on the phone with him because hearing his voice is just…hard. It makes me wish things were like they were before.” The smile on your face faltered as you stepped away from the table, glancing at the vastly overpriced baby outfits on another nearby rack. “I admitted to him that phone calls are still a bit much for me, so he's been texting instead. Even though I know how irritating the speech to text feature on his phone is to him. So I get it. He is trying.”
“Certainly hasn't bailed yet,” Marci muttered, hanging the dress back on the rack. “Which I'm honestly proud of him for.”
You caught the pointed look Karen sent you and you sighed, aware of what that look meant.
“Yeah, I've noticed,” you confessed. “I see he's trying to be present. I see how emotional he gets at the thought of not actually actively raising this child. But here's the thing,” you continued, both women now focused on you. “I'm bringing a baby into this world, right? I'm not adopting a puppy. We're talking about a little human. Someone who's going to be shaped by their parents and how they're brought up and raised. Someone who is completely dependent on us to take care of them for years . And meanwhile, Matt does…well–” you waved a hand in front of yourself, “– that in the evenings. I think it's only realistic that I'm concerned about how serious he is when it comes to actually being there for the both of us after how he wasn't there for me the one time I needed him. I need to know I can actually count on him, especially when things get difficult. Or exhausting. Or if there's an emergency. The city can’t always come first, even if I admire him for what he does.”
“But he is trying to show you that,” Karen pointed out gently. “He messed up and he knows that. Believe me, he does. And while I completely understand your side, it's not like Matt isn't trying to earn your forgiveness and prove all of that to you, too. But it's sort of dependent on you giving him a chance to show you that.”
Running a hand across your forehead, you nodded. “I know,” you told her softly. “I know. Which is why I've been trying to give him that chance. It's probably better that I do before the baby comes when emotions will be even higher and things will be more complicated.”
Eyes dropping down to your feet, you nervously chewed your lip. You’d been leaning towards giving him that chance he’d so desperately and repeatedly been begging you for ever since he’d last stopped by, especially after seeing how much the thought of not being an active parent to his child really upset him. But that didn’t mean you weren’t still scared to give him that chance. To open up and let him back in knowing he could hurt more than just you this time.
“It’s just hard to willingly let him back in after what happened. After how he'd hurt me. Because I’m honestly afraid of getting hurt again,” you confessed. “And not just me, but I’m scared of his daughter getting hurt. Of him not being there for her like she’s going to need him to be.”
“You know, I’m surprising myself by saying this,” Marci chimed in, “but I agree with Karen. At first, after hearing the news that you were pregnant, I absolutely could not picture Matt wanting to be a present father with how much he does, well, you-know-what at night. But with how much he’s been over at our place talking to Foggy and I the past few weeks?” She shook her head, tsk’ing lightly. “Let’s just say I fear for the man, woman, or child that dares to say a single mean word to his daughter. I mean that man is fiercely protective over the both of you. I don’t think you have to worry about him not being there when either of you need him.”
Something warm slowly filled you at Marci’s words. Something like a tiny spark of hope. You hadn’t known he’d been going over to their place and saying these things, worrying about the pair of you so much. Granted, you hadn’t spoken to him much in months now so you didn't really know what he'd been up to lately.
“Really?” you asked her, the threat of tears returning for a different reason.
Both Karen and Marci nodded their heads firmly, your eyes jumping between the two. That spark of hope burned a little hotter in your chest.
“He’s still in love with you,” Karen told you before pointing a finger at your belly. “And I can assure you, he loves that baby just as much as he loves you already.”
Crouched on the corner of a six-story apartment building’s roof, Matt’s head dipped and turned as he tried to remain focused on a conversation occurring in a nearby warehouse. He was doing his best to block out all the other distractions around him–like the sounds of car horns and the traffic below, sirens screeching in the distance as an ambulance made its way to the hospital, or the various arguments coming from inside the building he was perched atop.
Something was happening tonight in his city. He could feel it.
But as he tried to follow the conversation occurring half a block over, another noise abruptly broke through his carefully crafted concentration. Matt's gloved hands gripped the edge of the roof at the sound of it, his head instantly darting over his shoulder as the noise quickly overtook the sound of everything else.
Truthfully, he’d been attempting not to eavesdrop on you lately, trying to respect your wishes when he was out at night. Honestly he had been, too, especially since you’d actually been talking to him again, letting him in a little more even if it was only through texts here and there over this past week. He hadn't wanted to risk ruining the progress he'd suddenly made with you by trying to push your boundaries any further.
But he absolutely couldn’t ignore the sound of distress coming from you in your apartment just a block behind him.
You were crying. But not just crying in the usual way someone would if they were sad–something mournful and soft. No, it was a heart wrenching sound. Despairing. Painful. A noise that felt like an ice cold hand had gripped his own heart in his chest and squeezed .
Something was wrong.
A pained noise came from Matt as he rose to his feet, instinctively turning in the direction of your apartment. One booted foot took a step in your direction before he immediately halted in place. Gritting his teeth, his mind raced with a myriad of thoughts.
There was definitely a shipment of drugs being moved around in Hell’s Kitchen tonight, he’d absolutely learned that much from the conversation he’d been eavesdropping on. He had been on the cusp of uncovering where it was currently being held. All he needed was a location and he could alert the authorities to handle the rest. The streets of his city would once again be marginally safer because of him if he did.
And you had already repeatedly asked him to stop appearing at your apartment as Daredevil and invading your privacy. If he showed up now, that would surely appear to you like he wasn’t respecting your clear boundaries. Which he knew wasn’t remotely true, but would you understand if he explained that he was just too in tune with you to not subconsciously pick up on a sound of distress like that coming from you ? That he couldn't exactly control his senses picking up on it?
Matt’s gloved hand ran across his mouth in frustration, his eyes snapping shut behind his mask. He was torn.
Did he force himself to ignore your cries in order to not possibly upset you further? To keep respecting your boundaries and to leave you alone like you’d repeatedly asked him to? Which would in turn allow him to attempt to focus on finding that drug shipment tonight instead, something he'd been determined to do. Or did he go to you?
Teeth still grinding back and forth, Matt fought to decide on the right course of action. But at the sound of a particularly heart-wrenching wail coming from your apartment combined with something like the noise of you falling down, his eyes snapped back open and he made up his mind. He didn't care if you threw things at him and yelled him off your fire escape when he showed up. There was absolutely no way in hell he was going to ignore whatever was happening in your apartment. Even if it meant he’d have to show up at your front door and beg you to forgive him on his goddamn knees for the next several months. He needed to make sure you and the baby were alright.
Taking off at a sprint, Matt darted across the roof he was on and headed straight in the direction of your distress. He barely registered much else in the city as he flung himself over rooftop after rooftop, the sound of his own panicked heartbeat pounding loudly in his ears. He was focused solely on you and the continued sobbing in your apartment, trying his best to keep his mind from racing to a number of terrible reasons as to why you might’ve been this upset.
By the time he’d made it onto your building’s rooftop, he quickly dropped down two floors until he landed with a solid thud on your fire escape. He heard your terrified intake of breath from inside your apartment, the sound of your head swiftly turning in the direction of where he was outside your window. He felt bad for startling you as he reached a hand out, knocking on the glass.
He expected you to start shouting. To tell him to go away. To tell him that he was an asshole who couldn’t respect your privacy. That you didn’t want to speak to him anymore because of it. Maybe to throw something at the window even.
What he did not expect was the way you softly sobbed out his name in a way that sounded almost like relief. Or the way your hands had clawed at the couch cushion beside you as you pulled yourself up to your feet, rushing over to the window as more fresh tears spilled down your cheeks.
When you opened the window, the sharp, heavy scent of fear met his nose. The acrid tang was strong in your apartment, almost overpowering the salty taste of your tears in the air. And the sound of your racing and erratic heartbeat was roaring loud in his ears, mingling with the still frantic beating of his own heart. He could barely focus on much else as his own fear levels began to rapidly rise.
And then you surprised him yet again.
Your hands reached out through your window, grabbing desperately onto his shoulders and practically pulling him inside of your apartment. Speechless and concerned, he allowed you to drag him through the opening, moving as fast as he could to get to you. Though the way you whispered his name again as he climbed inside your apartment had his heart constricting in his chest.
“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” he whispered. “What happened?”
He'd barely had a chance to stand upright before your hands on his shoulders yanked him towards yourself. Your arms snaked around his neck, drawing him into a tight embrace as you buried your face right into the armor of his suit as more tears began falling down your cheeks. A strangled sob left your mouth, the heartbreaking sound partially muffled against his body.
Matt didn't hesitate. He wrapped his own arms around your waist and wrenched you in tight to the front of himself. His eyes closed as he buried his face into your hair, breathing in the familiar scent of you. Desperately he wished you were holding him like this under different circumstances because he'd missed you these past few months.
But something was wrong and he needed to focus on that right now.
“Sweetheart, you're scaring me,” he whispered, tears burning at his own eyes behind the mask. “What's got you so upset? Did something happen?”
You murmured something unintelligible against his chest, the words too muffled and disjointed for him to understand.
“What?” he asked.
You pulled away from him, sounding as if you'd turned your head to look up at him as he reluctantly unburied his face from your hair. A large sniffle came from you before you answered him, this time more clearly despite the tremor in your voice.
“There was blood.”
It took Matt a moment to register what you'd said and what you meant. But when he did, he felt something ice cold flood his veins.
“I woke up a bit ago and needed to go to the bathroom. Like usual,” you explained softly. “And then I noticed that I–I was bleeding.” You sniffled again, your voice quivering more noticeably as you continued. “And it scared me. Because I'm terrified that–that something is wrong. With the baby.”
Matt's stomach dropped as you buried your face back against him. His gloved hands gripped your back tighter as he tried to remain calm and process what you'd said.
“Was it a lot of blood?” he asked nervously.
You shook your head against him. “No. Not a lot. Just enough to notice it.”
“Okay, well that's good at least,” he said, running a soothing hand along your back as he tried to keep himself calm. “You're around twelve weeks now, right? It's not entirely abnormal for some bleeding to occur. I don't hear any cramping occurring and–” his head turned, his eyes narrowing as he focused hard to hear the baby's heartbeat over the panicked noises of your own body, “–the baby still seems to have a steady heartbeat in there. Which is–is good. From what I remember reading, that's a good sign that nothing is wrong. It's the first thing a doctor would check for to make sure the baby isn't in any danger. But if you continue bleeding we can certainly get you to a hospital, sweetheart.”
You drew your face partially out his chest, sniffling loudly yet again as Matt continued to stroke your back. It sounded like you had looked up at him, your tears gradually slowing. He focused back down on you, one hand leaving your back to gently brush some hair away from your damp cheeks.
“How do you know all that?” you whispered.
He shrugged a shoulder lightly, his hand still gingerly removing the damp strands of hair from your face that were stuck by tears. “I spend my free time reading up on pregnancy-related things,” he admitted softly. “So that I can maybe help if you need me. In situations like this.”
He heard the faint surprised intake of breath you'd taken at his answer, so quiet you probably hadn't even realized you'd made the sound. He felt your arms wrapping tighter around his neck, holding him close as you buried your face back against his chest. Despite how good it felt to have you back in his arms, Matt focused his senses back onto your body, doing his best to concentrate on the baby for a minute in the silence that filled your apartment.
“I'm not a doctor,” he murmured, still listening, “but nothing sounds different than what I've usually heard. I don't notice any more bleeding, and the lack of cramping is a good sign. Baby's heartbeat seems to be really strong.”
Matt cleared his throat, turning his attention back on you. Your body had calmed in his presence–something that made him feel good but he was afraid to overthink about the why . Though your body still sounded panicked and stressed, something that concerned him.
“Maybe it's best if you take a seat and try to relax,” he suggested gently. “The stress probably isn't good for you or the baby. Let's just focus on calming down now, okay?”
“Right,” you said, the air shifting around you as you nodded against him. “You're right. It was just a little blood so I'm–I’m probably overreacting.”
“You're not overreacting,” he told you, guiding you carefully back to the couch and settling the pair of you down into the cushions. “You were scared. It's understandable.”
Matt sat down on the couch beside you, surprised once more when you scooted closer to him. He reached a hand up, removing the cowl from his head with one hand while running his other through his unkempt hair.
“I'm sorry,” you whispered.
Matt's hand froze in his hair, his attention swiftly focusing on you. “Sorry for what, sweetheart?” he asked.
“For probably scaring the shit out of you tonight,” you replied. “I'm guessing that's why you showed up, right? You heard me freaking out?”
Matt smiled sheepishly back at you, nodding slowly. “Yeah,” he admitted. “I wasn't trying to listen in to your apartment, but you sounded so upset that I couldn't help but overhear you when I was out. I was afraid you'd be upset with me showing up though, because I know you’ve wanted me to stay away, but I couldn't just ignore you like this. I had to make sure everything was alright.”
He heard you sniffling again, your hands wiping at your eyes. Carefully he slid his arm around your shoulders, moving slowly in case he was crossing a boundary and you wanted to tell him to stop. But instead you moved even closer to him, eliminating the space between both of your bodies as you wrapped your arms around his waist. You leaned in, resting your head against his shoulder. A small smile slipped onto Matt's face, his own head carefully lowering to rest atop yours.
“Thank you for coming to check up on me,” you whispered. “I feel better with you here.”
Matt's heart thudded hard in his chest, that cold feeling of dread finally melting straight out of him as he held you against his side. You actually wanted him here. You were comforted by his presence, not upset by it. After the months apart from you which had felt like torture, hearing that had felt far too good.
“I'll always be here when you need me,” he assured you quietly. He hesitated a moment before softly adding, “Though I certainly wish I could be here the times you don't necessarily need me, too.”
He felt your head turn along his shoulder as you settled even more comfortably into the side of him. Your body was relaxing further now that the pair of you had sat down. But Matt could hear just how tired you really were from the sounds of your body and he figured the scare you’d just had hadn’t helped.
“I know,” you replied softly. “Maybe we should have a talk about that. About things between us.”
Hope fluttered in his chest at your words, excitement flooding through him at what that talk might mean. He absolutely wanted to be back in your life far more than he currently was, but he knew right now wasn't the time for that discussion, not after what had just happened and considering how exhausted you sounded to his ears.
“Maybe I can take you for coffee this weekend and we can discuss things,” he said, hoping he didn't sound as over-eager as he felt. “Tonight let's just focus on making sure you and baby are both okay.”
Your head shifted along his shoulder and Matt could feel the way your eyes were on him now. Then he felt the sudden nervous energy that washed over you just before you'd opened and closed your mouth a couple of times. Clearly you wanted to say something but didn't seem to know how. He sat there quiet and patient beside you, wondering what you were struggling to get out.
“This is probably not fair of me to ask considering our…situation,” you eventually began, your nerves apparent to him in your tone, “but could you maybe please stay here with me tonight? In case something does happen?”
That hope in Matt's chest grew further at your question, his body feeling like it could float up through the ceiling right now if he wasn’t more focused on the feel of you at his side. He made you feel safe. Even after how awful he'd been to you and how that had led to the break up, you still wanted him here. To protect both of you. Maybe he hadn't messed things up entirely beyond repair like he’d been worried about for weeks. Maybe he could fix things.
Maybe you could actually want him in both of your lives again.
“I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't ask,” you began in a rush when he hadn’t answered. “If it's too much to ask, I completely understand. I just don’t really want to be alone and–”
“I'll stay,” he assured you, his hand reassuringly squeezing your shoulder. “I told you, I'll always be here when you need me. I want to stay and make sure you're both safe.”
He heard you release the quietest sigh of relief, your body once again relaxing into his side. In the silence that followed, he also swore he heard a smile draw itself across your lips with how close he was listening to you, the muscles ever so minutely shifting along your face.
“You know how I mentioned that blood test?” you asked, breaking the silence a minute later. “The one where I could find out baby's sex and whether we're having a boy or a girl?”
Of course he knew exactly which blood test you were talking about. He hadn’t stopped thinking about it all week. He figured with what you’d told him about how long it took to hear back from your OB that you already had the results by now. It had been a struggle for him not to text or call you all week to ask you what you’d found out instead of focusing on his work that week. He’d been so eager for the news.
“Yes,” he answered. “I remember you telling me about it.”
“Well, I got the results yesterday morning,” you said slowly. “Did you…want to know what they were?”
It took everything inside of Matt to not blurt the ‘yes’ he gave you too fast. Though he’d grabbed your shoulder tighter in his grip, struggling to contain his excitement in anticipation of the news.
“We’re having a girl,” you told him.
Matt’s eyes snapped shut, a large smile spreading wide across his face. A girl. You were both having a little girl. A little version of you running around. Maybe she’d grow to have the same laugh as you, the same laugh he missed hearing in his apartment ever since you’d left.
“I can’t wait to meet her, sweetheart,” he whispered. “I’m sure she’ll be just as perfect as you.”
You curled up further against Matt's side, something like an embarrassed scoff leaving you. But as you sat there cozied up to his side, another thought crossed Matt's mind. One he'd thought about often lately.
Nervously he chewed his lip as he focused on the sound of his daughter’s thankfully continuously steady heartbeat. Turning his head, he glanced down in your direction. He could feel the way you’d once again shifted against his shoulder, looking up to meet his eyes no doubt. There was something he’d been dying to do for weeks now, but he wasn’t sure if now was an appropriate time to ask, or if it would somehow make you uncomfortable. But he figured he’d try anyway.
“You can certainly say no,” Matt began cautiously, “and I would respect your answer completely. But…would it be alright if I could see if I could feel her moving yet? Is that too much to ask?”
You didn't answer him outright; instead he felt you reach your hands over towards him and pick up his right one. With ease you undid the straps of his glove, gently sliding it off of his hand before tossing it over onto your coffee table. Afterwards you slipped his hand up beneath your shirt, just over the slight bump his hands weren't used to feeling on you. His eyes closed again as he tried to concentrate his senses on your body in a way he'd never done before. A smile returned to his face as he felt you rest both of your hands over the top of his while he focused. He missed the simple feel of your touch.
It took Matt a few moments of concentrating before he noticed something ever so faintly shifting beneath your skin, something he’d never have been able to pick up on if it wasn’t for his senses. A soft, surprised chuckle fell out of him when he felt the faint shift again of what must’ve been a limb moving. There was no way for him to know whether it was an arm or a leg, but it was his daughter alive and well inside of you. The knowledge of that had tears beginning to well up in his eyes.
“What?” he heard you ask.
“She's moving,” he whispered in awe. “I can feel her. It's faint, probably because she's still so small, but I can–can feel her.”
Your hands tightened over the top of his, the sound of your heart fluttering catching Matt's attention as he continued to focus on the baby growing inside of you. He wasn’t sure if your reaction was from the tear that had suddenly slipped down his cheek or something else, but it didn’t matter. Because this moment was easily one of the happiest he’d ever experienced.
With a huff you readjusted your head along your pillow, eyes opening once again in the darkness of your bedroom. You'd been having trouble falling and staying asleep tonight, too stressed about the bit of blood you'd found that had upset you earlier. Thankfully there hadn't been anymore tonight, but despite Matt's repeated reassurance, you'd felt embarrassed about getting distressed so quickly.
You'd just been so terrified waking up, still partially drowsy, to find that bit of bright red on the toilet paper when you'd gone to the bathroom. The fear that you'd somehow lost the pregnancy at the sight of it had immediately panicked you, because in these past few months you'd grown so completely attached to your little Devil. The thought of losing her–especially now knowing they in fact were a her–was too much.
Knowing Matt was out there sleeping on your couch in the living room hadn't been helping you to fall asleep, either. Not because you didn't feel safe with him here, but because it just felt wrong that he was asleep on the couch. He'd never slept anywhere else but in bed with you in the past, and honestly you couldn't imagine your couch was all that comfortable. Especially to him of all people.
And truthfully, if you were being honest with yourself, it was because you wanted him in bed next to you. Not down the hall, but right here where you could feel that he was actually with you. Where you could feel his comforting presence. Because you really did miss him.
Chewing the inside of your cheek, you tried to listen to the sounds in your apartment. For a moment you laid in bed, trying to hold your breath to see if you could tell whether Matt was asleep or not out in your living room. But as you sharply expelled the breath seconds later, the only noise you'd been able to pick up on was that of the city outside.
Another few minutes passed where you laid there contemplating whether you should just try to close your eyes and fall back asleep, or actually get out of bed and ask Matt to come join you. But you weren't sure you should even ask anymore from him tonight, considering he'd clearly been interrupted from Daredevil-ing because of you. And then he had offered to sleep on your couch afterwards when you'd asked him to stay. Asking him to then come join you in bed–while you both were still broken up–seemed like such a gray area.
But at the same time, you were carrying his child. And you'd been afraid that something serious had almost happened tonight, and clearly he'd been just as concerned. It was obvious with the panic written on his face even behind the mask when he'd initially shown up. And he'd stayed . He could have left when he realized things seemed to be okay, but he didn't. And while it was only one situation that the pair of you'd encountered, it had meant a lot to you that he hadn't just left you.
The pair of you were planning to get coffee together and talk this weekend too, so was it really all that bad to go out there and ask him to stay with you in your bed?
For a while you just continued to lay there, your mind racing back and forth trying to land on an answer. Ultimately it was the memory of Matt shedding a couple of tears from earlier tonight when he'd felt your little Devil move–something you hadn't yet even managed to experience because you were not far enough along–that had you tossing the sheets off of yourself and climbing out of bed.
Barefoot, you shuffled out of your bedroom before padding down the short hallway. When you reached the living room, you came to a stop just at the edge of the hallway, your eyes drawn to Matt. He was laying on your couch, his body curled in what looked like an uncomfortable position on the small piece of furniture. He had squashed a couch pillow up underneath his head, his eyes closed as he lay there. The plush blanket you always had on the back of your couch was draped over his lower half, but it was clearly too small to cover him fully as he lay there, his bare upper torso partially exposed.
He looked like he was asleep, probably worn out from a long day at work and a night out as Daredevil before you'd gone and interrupted it. You'd almost turned around and gone back to your room, not wanting to disturb him, but then his eyelids flew open. Almost immediately his head rose from the pillow, his gaze landing on you across the room as a look of worry crossed his face, his brows drawing together.
“Sweetheart?” he asked. “Is something wrong? Are you alright?”
Awkwardly you leant up against the wall beside you, your hands nervously fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. You shook your head, suddenly feeling a little nervous.
“No,” you whispered. “Nothing is wrong. I just can't really sleep. My mind is too loud.”
The worried crease between Matt's brows slowly disappeared as he pushed himself upright on the couch. The blanket that had been draped across him slid down, revealing more of his bare chest in the dark room. He'd clearly been trying to sleep in his boxers since the suit would have been too uncomfortable, and for some reason that only made you long for the comfort of his warm skin cuddled against yours in bed.
“Is there something I can do to help?” he asked.
Running a hand nervously through your hair, you tried to ignore your increasing nerves. You figured it was best to get to the point and just ask for what you wanted, leaving the decision up to Matt after that.
“Would it be too much if I asked you to stay with me?” you whispered. “Not on the couch, but actually with me? Just for tonight?”
“If that's what you want,” Matt replied. “I just didn't want to make you uncomfortable. I assumed you'd prefer me to stay out here, especially because I don't exactly have anything to sleep in.”
You shrugged a shoulder, glancing down at your bare feet. “That doesn't exactly bother me,” you told him, aware he could hear the truth in your answer. “I just don't want to be alone after earlier. And I'd feel a little better if you were with me.”
Matt removed the blanket from his lower half, his own bare feet landing on the floor. Rising wordlessly from the couch, you watched as he maneuvered around the coffee table like he'd done so many times in the past before he made his way to you in nothing but his boxers.
Hesitantly you reached a hand out, entwining your fingers with his when he neared. Turning in the hall, you guided him down the length of it and back to your bedroom. Matt easily followed your lead, his soft footsteps echoing yours as you led him into your room and towards the bed.
You released his hand when the pair of you reached the foot of the bed, making your way over to the side that was always yours. Matt continued on his way to the side that had always been his, his fingertips lightly dragging over the comforter as he moved.
Climbing back into your bed, you felt the mattress dip under the weight of Matt settling onto the other side. You smiled a little to yourself as you tried to get comfortable on your side, wrapping your legs around the pregnancy pillow Matt had gotten you the other week.
“Would you prefer me to stay on this side, or…?”
Matt's question hung in the bedroom, his meaning clear despite him not finishing it. Tongue darting out to wet your lips, your head turned just over your shoulder towards him as you answered.
“You don't have to tonight.”
Without waiting for further invitation, you felt Matt shift along the bed closer to you. His warm hand carefully landed on your hip, halting there for a moment as if testing your boundaries. Then very gradually his palm slid downwards until it was gently cradling your bump over your shirt. His warm body slowly sidled up to the back of yours and your eyelids lowered, your body relaxing at the safety and familiarity of him.
“Thank you for being here,” you whispered into the dark.
Matt's fingers traced a light pattern over your stomach, the gentle touch causing a warmth to linger in their wake.
“I'll always be here when you need me,” he whispered back. “From now on, I promise you that.”
The smile on your lips grew a little wider as your own hand sought out his. Your fingers entwined with his over the growing swell of your bump, like a protective barrier that the pair of you were making between the world outside and the little life growing within you. Then gradually you finally fell asleep.
Tag List: @mattmurdocksstarlight @just-going-through-the-motions @paracosmic-murdock @yeonalie @auroraslibrary @1988-fiend @will-delete-this-later-probably @two-unbeatable-beaters @danzer8705 @ragamuffin285 @callmebrooklynbabes @spookyboogyuniverse @peachy-aisha @stevenknightmarc @nerdytreeflower @fucktthisworld @remuslupinwifee @kmc1989 @thychuvaluswife @mywellspringoflife @thornbushrose @yarrystyleeza @shiorimakibawrites @marvelcinematiquniverse @vallovesthedilfs @scoliobean @this-is-music @mattmurdocks6thscaleapartment @ashlynhasmanyhyperfixations @swissy23 @babygorewhore @that-girl-named-alex @warsaur @lareinaisabelle @pazii @senjoritanana @mischiefmanaged71511-blog @xxdrixx @jess-rye @hannahbohen @theclassicvinyldragon @karolamurdock @theoraekenslover @mr-underhills-things @jennifer0305 @capswife @amazexng @blackhawkfanatic @ladywholikesreading @powellssaturn @sunflower-tia @indestructeible
[I have no idea why some of these tags aren't working 😭 If I misspelled something please let me know!]
608 notes
·
View notes
Text
This came to me earlier, and now I am utterly obsessed: While it was clear to me that Odysseus stabbing Poseidon wasn't any kind of Vengeance, there was one act of Vengeance after all, even if inadvertent—it was Odysseus disproving Poseidon's "Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves" belief right in front of his very eyes. With him as the subject, even.
Think about it—the fact that Poseidon remained ruthless and insisted on punishing Odysseus was the only reason he got stabbed repeatedly. If Poseidon had been merciful, if he had accepted Odysseus' offer of forgiveness, he would've been fine. His own ruthlessness backfired so hard on him this time that I am sincerely hoping it haunts him forever.
I am actually utterly obsessed with Poseidon thinking back to Odysseus "Maybe you could learn to forgive?" on a daily, no an hourly basis. I cannot and will not lie to you that is unironically my favorite moment in the whole Vengeance saga just because of what it says about both the characters—about Odysseus for offering and Poseidon for declining (and also because Odysseus sings it in Poseidon's own motif which is just absolutely brilliant.) And this makes me love it even more.
Poseidon was going to decline, we all know that. I don't think anyone watching—even Odysseus, probably—expected him to accept. But then I'm picturing him lying there, bleeding into the stone, and, against his will, wondering whether maybe he should have. Maybe if he had, he wouldn't be in pain. Maybe if he had not killed Odysseus' fleet ten years ago, he wouldn't be in pain either. Maybe this one time ruthlessness wasn't mercy upon himself—maybe this time, his one grand belief was wrong. Maybe ... it was always wrong.
Obviously, he would never admit to these thoughts, he would slap himself for having them one second later. But I simply need this self-proclaimed god of ruthlessness to be utterly haunted by that and question whether he made the right choice or no—whether he's even lived by the correct philosophy all his immortal life—and no matter what, be too stubborn to admit he was wrong.
He's trying to pretend like nothing changed, but the thoughts still remain. They pester him. They won't leave him alone. Especially every time someone—anyone—is kind to him for whatever reason, they come crashing back into him and they won't leave.
"What if my own ruthlessness hurt me that time?"
"What if ruthlessness isn't mercy upon ourselves after all?"
"What if I'm wrong?"
"What if I have always been wrong?"
The most dreadful thoughts imaginable to a god as proud and stubborn and old as Poseidon, but they're there now and he can't do anything about them. You all don't understand how much I NEED this god to jolt up in his bed at 3 am after having a dream or nightmare about something related to one of his many ruthless deeds (maybe even sinking Odysseus' fleet) and go "BUT WHAT IF I HAD LEARNED TO FORGIVE?? WHAT IF I STILL COULD??" only to immediately slap himself for it because that's absolutely ridiculous.
He is left to watch this belief shatter before his very eyes as he's clinging to the remains of it desperately, trying to keep it all from crumbling. Not because he genuinely believes he's right anymore, but because he simply cannot imagine ... does not know how to live by any other philosophy.
No matter whether it's objectively correct or not, it's the very thing that defines him. The thing he's known for. He has built his entire image around this, he cannot give it up no matter what ... at least not quickly or without help.
But as much he would seek to deny it, his core belief has now been proven wrong; he has actually lived through an instance where it was wrong, and he can do nothing to erase those memories or conclusions from his mind no matter how much he yearns to go back to simpler times.
And that was the real Vengeance, guys—possibly the biggest, most painful existential crisis of Poseidon's immortal life. I rest my case.
Although before I disappear back into the void I simply must give a shout out to @o3o-lapd-o3o (this came to me during a conversation in one of their comment sections for the glorious Friends In Higher Places AU, which is quite possibly my favorite piece of EPIC fan content that exists ...)
#poseidon epic#epic the musical#epic musical#epic the vengeance saga#epic odysseus#poseidon#jorge rivera herrans#i have never believed in ruthlessness is mercy#but thank you so much odysseus for proving me right#with ruthlessness of your own#how very poetic#poseidon having an existential crisis over being too stubborn for redemption is sth i didnt know i needed#i wanna believe he gets there eventually#a few centuries later#odysseus has no idea what he did btw#he stabbed poseidon and that was that#he probably didnt think he could so much as make him question this#someone somewhere out there eventually notices maybe#HAVE I MENTIONED HOW OBSESSED I AM WITH ODYSSEUS' “MAYBE YOU COULD LEARN TO FORGIVE?” YET#because I AM#that god killed your whole fleet#thunder saga!odysseus would not have offered this#i love the subtle hints at odysseus' positive development in this saga almost more than anything#the only thing I don't love about them is that they're so subtle a majority of people don't notice them#friends in higher places au?#am i allowed to tag this as that ouo#epicssay
166 notes
·
View notes
Text
What Aang’s Relationship With His Kids Tells Us About His Relationship With Katara
Bumi: “Oh, boo-hoo. Must've been real hard for you, flying around the world with dad, riding elephant-koi all day.”
Tenzin: “Oh, so that's what this is all about.”
Kya: “That's what it's always been about. You think you're some savior who has to carry on dad's legacy.”
Tenzin: “Who else is going to do it?”
Kya: “How about all of us?”
Bumi: “Yeah, we're Aang's kids too.”
The whole problem with this family is, Aang didn’t believe that.
Aang has a long, undeviating track record of never questioning anything he believes about the Air Nomads. Who the hell has a perfect and complete understanding of their society, government, international relations, education system, religion, morality, genetics, and reproduction at age 12? According to Aang? He does.
The entire lynchpin of Aang’s Book 3 arc is all about how Air Nomads are pacifists and cannot ever under any circumstances harm a life. (We’re going to ignore the body count Aang’s already wracked up over the first two seasons for the sake of preserving his feelings because those were soulless NPCs or something.)
And yet Aang never questions this…
Monk Gyatso’s bones surrounded by a pile of Fire Nation soldier bones. The picture doesn’t fit Aang’s image of Air Nomad peace and harmony, so he ignores it entirely. It NEVER comes up despite its overwhelming relevance to Aang’s internal conflict and the sorts of advice he seeks from authority figures in the third season (despite Monk Gyatso being the penultimate authority figure in Aang’s life).
Another thing Aang never questions?
There’s no such thing as a non-airbending Air Nomad. They’re just all born that spiritual. And spirituality is the golden key that unlocks bending. (Because Bryke said so.)
Despite Guru Pathik not being a bender. Despite the fact that Zhao, literal spirit murderer, is one. Despite Toph—the most un-spiritual, cynical, feet-on-the-ground-head-nowhere-near-the-clouds member of Aang’s friend group—being the most powerful bender of the lot. Despite Hama being a waterbender equal to none but Katara while completely cut off from her culture and turning her back on everything we believe about water bending’s inherent ties to community, connectedness, and love (Iroh’s words). Despite Azula mastering the god-tier lightning technique BECAUSE she’s practically dead inside and values life least of all things. Despite the fact that Princess Yue has the literal MOON SPIRIT THAT IS THE SOURCE OF ALL WATERBENDING living inside her, and yet she still somehow manages to not be a bender.
Despite the fact that Air Nomads roam all over the world, sewing their wilds oats throughout every nation, yet no airbending toddlers ever crop up in Fire Nation or Earth Kingdom preschools.
Despite the fact that non-monogamous societies where men have multiple partners father more children and boost the population faster than in societies that favor “attached” relationships, yet the all-airbending Air Nomads still somehow have the smallest population of any ethnic group in the world.
Despite the fact that Aang’s twin, Ty Lee, is RIGHT. THERE. with her unparalleled aura-seeing, chakra blocking spirituality and her GRAY EYES in a world where color coding is ~totally~ not a thing… *sigh*
But nope. Air Nomad parentage = airbending child. Always.
So when Katara births a child that is… not an airbender? Not any kind of bender at all, in fact. There’s only one logical conclusion (in Aang’s mind).
That is not Aang’s child.
Aang never had a problem traveling with non-airbenders before. He was non-exclusionary by nature. Katara and Toph and Zuko were welcome. Sokka and Suki were welcome. The more, the merrier, in fact. Because Aang loves nothing as much as he loves an adoring audience.
Yet Bumi never travelled with Aang.
Bumi’s as old in this picture as Aang was in the first series. He had an entire decade in which he should have been the most important thing in his parents’ lives. His personality was already more or less formed (not completed, but the groundwork was laid) by the time Tenzin came along. Bumi’s inferiority issues began long before there were any airbending children around to siphon Aang’s attention for training purposes.
Aang and Katara didn’t have another child until Bumi was on the verge of adolescence because Aang was convinced that Katara cheated. And I’m guessing it took Mr. “Let Your Anger Out, And Then Let It Go” about ten years to forgive his wife and give her the chance to get it right. (Which is at least four years longer than he gave her to forgive her mother’s murderer, in case you forgot.)
Acolyte: “Sorry, I thought you were the servants.”
Bumi: “We’re Tenzin’s brother and sister!”
Acolyte: “Avatar Aang had other children? The world is filled with more airbenders?!”
Kya: “We’re not airbenders.”
Acolyte: “Oh… I’m so sorry.”
The Air Acolytes—whose whole identity, purpose, lifestyle, and religion center around every detail of this man's life and beliefs—didn't know Aang had more than one child.
The best case scenario here is that Aang simply pretended his older children didn’t exist because he was ashamed of them and made Katara keep them shut away at all times.
And maybe that could have worked… If Aang and Katara had ever had any privacy in their relationship. But they didn’t.
The Air Acolytes have been following Aang and Katara since the comics. They’ve been there at every step of Aang and Katara’s life together. Observing. Fangirling. Emulating. Diefying. Looking for weaknesses in the relationship because Katara was only his “first girlfriend.”
Yet, somehow, they didn’t know Aang had three children.
I can’t imagine a way for them not to know unless Aang actively told people, “Those aren’t my kids,” and let Katara bear the shame and stigma of having the world believe she was unfaithful.
All because Aang couldn't entertain the idea that he was wrong about some facet of a society he never understood clearly.
524 notes
·
View notes
Text
I am a MosBank Truther!
I do not hate all fan service. I think it's good to see men casually touch each other in public AND get paid to do it. My favorite pairs for fan service are MaxTul, who WILL return to me one day; YinWar, who understand the "Business Gay Performance" concept; JoongDunk, who are my GMMTV fighters; and MosBank. But unlike all of these other 200 branded pairs running around in BL Land, I actually think MosBank are a real couple, and I truly believe that they are already married. *looking you directly in your eyes* I'm serious. And I have thirty images from their recent appearance on the Har Tum Show to prove it.
But first, if you are not familiar with this show, Eclair is the host and she invites guests over to cook while she shit talks, and babygirl is quick. Jes and Bible from 4 Minutes were recently on, and while Jes matched Eclair's energy as this was his second appearance on the show, Bible was lost in the sauce, which only made their appearance even more delightful. And the reason is because homegirl casually drops sex jokes and snappy quips into the conversation, so guests must be on their toes to keep up.
AND MOSBANK CAME PREPARED!
Bank and Mos already know Eclair. Bank knows her from college, and Mos knows her from mutual friends *cough* Bank *cough* so they got down to business quick, and by business, I mean dick jokes. They are making deep-fried shrimp sushi, so Bank immediately holds the cucumber to size it up, and Eclair jumps into Bank's blowjob skills after briefly discussing how many shrimp are in the meal. +2 for talking about oral sex five minutes in.
This prompts Bank to sing "Part of Your World" from The Little Mermaid (in English) because it ties into the discussion of the ingredients needed for the meal (shrimp, seaweed, salmon) and blowjobs. No points given because even though Bank can sing, Ariel doesn't deserve to take strays about blowjobs.
Mos discloses that Bank's family owns a durian farm, so the queer movie of the moment The Paradise of Thorns gets mentioned, but Bank throws in his critique that they are more like The Paradise of Scorns. +2 for Bank's wittiness and Mos' sensible chuckle
Then Bank reveals that he is the one who scouted Mos for Star Hunter because he was thirsting over Mos' pictures on social media. +4 because Bank . . . same. I, too, would slide into Mos' DMs after perusing his socials.
As the conversation continues, both men confess that they hated school, but Bank is the smarter one on paper ONLY because he knew he wanted to be an actor and didn't want to appear dumb, so he got tutoring to get rid of his country accent and up his grades, while Mos only got his grades up because his mom sent him to an all-boys school in Bangkok 💀 Eclair is surprised because she thinks Bank plays up the "dumb-blonde" persona, and they joke that's a good thing because he can get away with it. +6 for Mos and his all-boy school
And then we get into the domesticity! Mos and Bank have randomly mentioned they live together throughout the years, so Eclair starts asking questions about their home life. Mos likes to do the chores. Bank likes to shop.
Eclair thinks Bank would feel guilty for not helping Mos with the chores, but both men correct her that Mos likes doing these things, and if Mos was her boyfriend, he'd gladly do it for her too. +10 because Bank does not cook nor does he clean, but he got that ring!
Because Mos seems too perfect to be true, Bank throws him under the bus and admits it bothers him that Mos doesn't say he loves people or misses them NOT EVEN HIS PARENTS OR FAMILY! -2 only because Bank brings this up every year in their Valentine's Day videos, and Mos still is tight-lipped.
But he quickly recovers because he says Mos isn't a man of too many words and actually shows his love through actions, like buying him a Celine bag and other stuff that he cannot mention even though Eclair pressures him to share. No points given
Eclair asks if either one of them gets upset easily, but specifically targets Bank since he is known for having an attitude in their travel videos when he is hungry or tired. +2 to Eclair for being shady
Once they sit down to enjoy the meal that Mos has basically single-handedly made for them, the conversation gets sad when Bank mentions he just wants a good life for his parents and how he misses his grandma, who was his biggest supporter but died during the pandemic so he didn't get to see her before she passed.
It's a heavy moment, but Eclair spins it and asks Mos if he has any sad tales to tell, to which Bank immediately answers that Mos' family is nothing but happy vibes and good times. +1 for the look exchanged between Bank and Eclair because people who have happy families make us all a little sick.
Eclair latches on to the fact that Bank answered the question about Mos' family, and Mos casually responds that Bank would know because he has met his family, several times, since he goes home with Mos, each time. +4 because this is the domesticity that has me convinced they are already married since they are holding hands under the table.
From the way Mos is talking, it's clear the boys stay AT his parents' house when they visit, so Eclair asks if Mos' mom ever hears them.
Mos, in a serious voice, instantly replies that they are quiet.
Bank bursts into laughter, but Eclair isn't done and wants to know what quiet things are done quietly, so Mos offers the only acceptable answer - "Whatever Bank wants" +100 points for Mos being perfect
The conversation gets back to the original point of Bank visiting Mos' family and the guys talk about the first time Bank went home with Mos. The aunties were aflutter when they saw Bank with Mos and because Mos comes from a small community, the entire village practically knew before they even got to the house.
They even recreate the aunties on the street breaking their necks to get a glimpse of Mos' rich boy. +3 for the way the boys deliver it
When they were walking the streets or at the market, they knew people were talking about them (out of curiosity), but whenever Mos or Bank would acknowledge them, the aunties would scatter. +1 for knowing that small town talk is not a negative thing but a way of sharing news
Everywhere they went, people would already know who Bank was because the chisme was running rampant! +2 because the boys are telling the hell out of this story and they are telling it TOGETHER, like both are telling it at the same time. It's glorious!
And since we understand that they were staying AT the parents' house, it seems as if they were also staying in the same room since Grandpa came to collect them once aunties started standing outside of the house wanting to take pictures with them. +2 since Mos is thrilled that Bank was so popular with his people
After the story, Eclair puts on her business cap and opens the door for the guys to talk about their various projects and socials, but the lady is a professional who can turn anything into a sex joke.
MosBank have a YouTube channel called Mong Biew which is a play on their names, but Eclair asks if it's a play on "Bong Biew" which apparently means tilted, and at first I thought she was making a straight/gay joke, but nope! It's a dick joke because Mos proudly declares that it's straight!
And I'm giving Mos another +100 points because this kid gets it! I thought Bank was going to easily steal the show, while Mos was busy cooking, but Mos is just as quick and snappy with his comebacks. He isn't just a Instagram thirst trap! The boy's got moxie!
Because this is still business, the guys give their product placement spiel for an anti-bloat mix, Air-X, and Eclair quickly turns capitalism on its head when she gets Bank to admit he farted on set during one of his romantic scenes with Mos. +4 points to Eclair for making a product placement hilarious and getting the chisme!
And the show wraps up with Eclair giving Air-X another spotlight as she states it's the second item Bank would pack for a trip AFTER HE PACKS CONDOMS!
2000 POINTS TO MY FAVORITE MARRIED COUPLE because we all win when the aunties approve of the boyfriend and Eclair can get a good dick joke or ten out of it!
#mosbank#Har Tum Show#they are my bias#I was proud of them like I had trained them for this#isbanky#mos panuwat#they matched Eclair's energy#usually one of the guests is weak#but both boys excelled#they are married#or they are the best actors on this planet#and I'll believe either one
160 notes
·
View notes
Text
MASSIVE gojo x reader fanfic rec (no spoilers)
ok i know a lot of my followers are gojo girlies and i just need to put yall onto this fucking fanfiction because i just read the latest release for it and i’m genuinely tweaking rn🧍🏻♀️
@lostfracturess ‘s amazing work called “symptoms & causes” - a medical au
[image pulled from her masterlist]
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/61e447f4f47c1eb3b31a0c92fa263b81/f17acc4089ccfb6f-22/s540x810/b38e799c9a89fcb088e61456a7b1aa750c5d17d6.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/52397526472fb31c47caf053bb359d9a/f17acc4089ccfb6f-1d/s540x810/2a767f51570fc3366e4cab6b342a4b172c027b8f.jpg)
let me just…let me just try to even gather the reasons why you need to add this to your tbr lists (weekend is comin up too so perfect time)
characterization of gojo satoru.
gojo in this fic is characterized so fucking well, from chapter one. there are so many distinctive ways miss lostfractures goes about building his aura (word of mouth/reputation, dialogue, expository, primary interactions, secondary interactions, etc.) it reminds me of the show where gojo just has this energy to him that you can't tear yourself away from i picture him in this fic to be unrelenting, unforgiving, morally grey, with an undertone of softness yet still feral through it all,, basically gojo during shibuya arc LOL. i looove reading cute silly boy gojo fics sm (he’s so baby) but THIS fic explores the borderline wicked side of him that is so thrilling, unique, and rare to find i think in this fandom’s collection of works. it’s just so fucking good.
forbidden romance.
UGGHH i love stories w forbidden romance. in this one, it’s med student reader x professor gojo (additional power dynamics in that he’s a senior surgeon in her field and also a research mentor in her study of interest…TRIPLE THREAT DAMN). i love how miss lostfractures doesn’t shy away from reminding the reader that it’s wrong, and that they shouldn’t be doing this. that’s my fave part of forbidden romances like yesss remind me again why this is all so wrong but let’s still do it anyways LOL <333
reader’s voice.
i’ve LOVED reader since the beginning, so relatable, emotionally mature, all her flaws are so believable & her strengths are shown seamlessly. it’s just so much fun to read because i’ll literally have a thought like “hmm…that (something a character said/did) doesn’t sound very convincing” and then the next line will be something like “he didn’t sound very convincing” like!!! me and s&c reader?? we’re locked in like this fr🤞🏼 like gojo’s domain expansion fingers
escapism.
everything in this story feels so damn real it’s insane. the pacing is stunning, love the utilization of stacks of scenes that are sort of short but so concise, enough to be a smooth read but still descriptive enough to entirely transport you into the world that’s being built. cannot praise the writing in this story enough. also the variety of ways that scenarios are made that pull characters closer to one another?? so creative. as someone who works in a research lab, studied bio in college (some of the fkn biochem stuff that comes up in this fic gives me heart attacks lmfaooo pls im traumatized), and has worked in clinics/hospitals it just itches my brain so damn good. you’ll be convinced you’re a brilliant med student while you read this fic.
writing.
the writing is just. so. good. it’s so good. better than most PUBLISHED works i’ve read. i really can't say much other than that, you just have to go see for yourself.
—
if any of these reasons speak to you, i highly recommend you check the fic out. just a note tho it does have some dark themes but you can find all the tags/warnings on her page!
OK BYE
#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen fanfiction#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#gojo smut#jjk gojo#geto suguru#gojo satoru angst#series#alternate universe#romance#smut#fluff#angst#jjk smut#long fic#jjk series#medical au#gojo satoru x reader#satoru gojo x reader#fic rec#jujutsu kaisen fic rec#jjk fic rec#gojo satoru fic rec#gojo fic rec#celestie fic rec
499 notes
·
View notes
Text
the whole thing's devastating in itself, but would you guys believe me if i told you this part specifically makes me so super sad
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d83fd9941daaf86a49e835abaa706b04/99ec7f8df1d91b9a-ea/s540x810/b70911337d9bbda10efcfb32929778278891a74a.jpg)
flowey doesn’t allow himself to feel the snow. not really. he won’t talk about how the cold steadies him, or how it stirs memories of simpler times. he avoids thinking about the quiet. the way the world slows down under the weight of winter, how everything feels softer, almost bearable.
the peace feels too close. too easy.
thoughts like that aren’t for him. perhaps they never were. they belong to someone else. and flowey doesn’t get to be him. not anymore.
so, instead, he ignores it. kills it in its infancy. turns away from the idea before it drags up pieces of a life he refuses to remember. he acts like happiness isn’t something that should happen to him. a mistake. an error in the system that needs to be corrected.
there’s always this jaggedness to his words, something sharp enough to keep anything tender at bay. if something feels good, he cuts it down to size—turns it bitter, spits it back out as cruelty. it’s instinct by now, as natural as breathing.
that’s what flowey does. he tears things apart before they can convince him he deserves more. after all, it’s much easier to laugh at the world than to feel it.
this is just the way things are. the way they have to be.
the softness never feels right anyway. it’s awkward, like trying to cup water in clenched fists. like touching something delicate with hands meant only to destroy.
he’s flowey. he has to be flowey. and flowey doesn’t get to savor things. he doesn’t stop to enjoy the way the snow hushes the world or let the cold bite just enough to remind him he’s alive.
he knows better.
there's almost comfort in that. in shutting things down, in turning them brittle before they can take root. it’s neat. predictable. safe. no dangerous hope worming its way into places it doesn’t belong. no warmth overstaying its welcome. just the same old ache he’s carried for as long as he can remember—steady, familiar, dull.
manageable.
because if he let something good in… what then?
would it stay? refuse to leave? would it start to matter?
would he start to matter?
flowey knows exactly who he is. the villain. the failure. the one who tried to make things right and only made it worse. if there was ever a chance to be anything else, it’s long gone. whatever good might have existed in him has been buried beneath years of mistakes, smothered by everything he couldn’t save.
he had a plan once. a way to undo it all. make things right again. but it didn’t work. he didn’t work. he couldn’t save chara. couldn't save the monsters.
couldn’t even save himself.
and this… this is what’s left.
flowey. the version of him that learned to survive by not needing anything. the one who gave up on hope, joy, and peace because letting them in would mean the walls he built were never needed at all.
it would mean that somewhere inside, there’s still something soft. something worthy.
and he doesn’t know how to live with that. he’s not even sure he wants to.
control is all that makes sense anymore. he decides when the pain comes, how much, and from whom. he decides. no one else.
he’s built everything on that control—this image of who he’s supposed to be, what he’s supposed to feel. but what if he stopped? what if he let the bitterness go? what would be left?
just asriel?
and what would that mean? that there had always been another way?
no. he can’t let that be true.
so he copes. he compartmentalizes. keeps things boxed up neatly. flowey and asriel. good. evil. pain. hope. life. death. they don’t touch. they’ll never touch. he’d lose control if they did. and control is all he has left.
he makes sure to break things down before they have the chance to become anything real. he’s always the one to close the door first—better to leave than to be left behind.
if not, he might remember what it’s like to be exposed. vulnerable. weak.
and that’s something he cannot accept. the possibility that asriel is still in there. that there’s still a way back.
that maybe… he was never as far gone as he wants to believe.
it’s almost funny, in a way, because he’s already changed, whether he knows it or not. the fact that he’s still here, still witnessing the world after everything that’s happened, proves he’s not as detached as he wants to believe.
the fighting stopped. the cycle ended. the monsters are free. and even if he won’t admit it, even if he’s not ready to come to terms with it—there’s a quiet kind of peace in that.
even so, he will dig in his heels. even so, he will play into the role in a war that’s long over. even so, he won’t let anything awaken the barest trace of what it once meant to be asriel.
he is flowey.
the snow will keep falling. it’ll land on his petals.
it doesn’t stay.
neither does he.
because it’s easier that way.
#undertale#flowey#undertale flowey#flowey the flower#flowey undertale#undertale asriel#asriel#he is so uncomfortable with joy it kills me#he can be talking normally and suddenly the concept of murder is the bus driver#despite everything it will always be you flowey#you are allowed to take up space#move on#love and be loved#get changed by that love#chara won't hate you for it#nobody would#who are you performing for anymore?
158 notes
·
View notes