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violetjedisylveon · 2 years ago

Text

Adjusting

Summary: Ahsoka and Kaeden adjust to their duties in the early rebellion and their month old daughter while Ahsoka grapples with the fallout of her pregnancy.

Word count: 2k

Warnings: Post partum cramps, post partum depression, pain, blood, menstrual blood. Breast feeding and lactation are mentioned. And lots of lovey dovey fluff!

A/N: All of the post partum stuff waited a bit to hit and last longer than they should for a normal pregnancy for reasons. I did do my research on the topic back when I wrote this, so I know what happens after pregnancy. It's not pretty. Most of this chapter comes from Kaeden's perspective.

Kaesoka child AU link here.

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Kaeden turned the alarm off before it could wake Ahsoka. It was feeding time for Padmé.

She picked the tiny infant up out of her bedside crib and gently roused her. The soft glow of night vision eyes told her the little girl was awake.

"Morning sweetie, it's feeding time." She whispered softly.

Padmé yawned and nuzzled into her warm mother. Kaeden patted her back and went to the feeding chair. She found a cradle hold most comfortable for feeding. Ahsoka prefered a laying down position which was easier on her, especially for night feedings.

She lifted up the flap of her nursing shirt and let her daughter latch on.

It was the weirdest thing, while Ahsoka had been gone, Kaeden had noticed her own body acting as though it were pregnant or expecting. She never developed any baby bump or those parts of a pseudo pregnancy. She'd done a few scans on herself to see what was going on and the results told her that her body just decided it needed to prepare for lactation.

To say she was confused, was saying the least. She'd been completely dumbfounded by the whole experience and decided to consult the translated copies of the nightsister books in Ahsoka's possession, since that was how they found out exactly what was going on in the first place. A part her wife had missed the first look was that this sort of pregnancy affected all partners, while one would carry and do the normal pregnancy stuff, except faster, and the others would have their body think it was having a baby that they needed milk for.

So, in an alarming turn of events, Kaeden, although she hadn't been pregnant, was producing milk for their daughter. She'd told Ahsoka, and they shared the feeding duties. She knew Ahsoka was grateful for the breaks, her cramps would sometimes get worse when feeding.

It was an adjustment for both of them, to say the least, they tried making a feeding schedule but ended up settling on whoever was closest or most awake or most rested to take the next feeding.

Their whole situation was a big adjustment.

Kaeden looked down at Padmé, she was slowing down. Kaeden rocked gently, easing her daughter back to sleep.

It wasn't a situation she'd change for anything, well, she'd definitely convince Ahsoka to give birth here instead of whatever frozen backwater she went to if she had the chance.

She glanced over at Ahsoka's sleeping form. Unfortunately, Ahsoka had to deal with postnatal cramps, she could see the discomfort on her wife's face from here.

I'll go get her a pain relief pill. She left their room quietly with Padmé.

XXX

Ahsoka woke up with a powerful and painful cramp, she groaned and waited for it to pass. Her Jedi training surprisingly came in handy for this, it helped her focus on other things and ignore the pain.

However, her focus landed on the cold wetness on her sheets.

She was leaking, again.

She rolled over to get out of bed and change her shirt and maybe get the extra sheet she'd been sleeping with since returning. But then another cramp hit her and she decided to stay put.

Very quickly, she noticed the absence of warmth in her bed. Kaeden was gone.

Maybe she caught it before me and-! The alarm went off, so Padmé needed a feeding. Odd, it felt like more than two hours she'd been asleep.

Ahsoka begrudgingly hauled herself out of bed, then she noticed Padmé was gone too. Kaeden must be feeding her. Ahsoka realised.

She was content with that and settled back down into bed.

The door opened quietly, the mattress dipped, Kaeden's warm hand brushed her shoulder.

"Soka, I've got you a pain relief." Kaeden whispered.

Ahsoka rolled over and took the pill from her wife. Kaeden was holding Padmé, her hunch had been correct.

"You feed Padmé?" She asked in a soft murmur.

"Yep, she's fed, I'll take the next feeding too." Kaeden told her.

"M'kay." Ahsoka was too tired to argue with her wife right now.

Keaden leaned over and planted a few small kisses on her cheek.

"Get some rest, Soka, you deserve it." Kaeden whispered.

Ahsoka drifted back to sleep with the comforting sound of her wife's steady heartbeat.

XXX

Kaeden heard something break, then shouting and cursing from the kitchen. She popped her head around the corner to see what had happened.

Ahsoka was standing in the kitchen with half a broken bowl on the counter, the other half was on the floor with the splattered batter mixture. Her face was flushed and she was sniffling. She looked up to Kaeden and offered a weak smile.

"Hi Kay." She gave a little wave, then she started crying.

"Oh Soka, what's wrong? What happened?" Kaeden strode across the kitchen and let Ahsoka cry into her.

She didn't speak for a while, Kaeden was content to stay with her in silence.

"Fuck. Kaeden, I'm so tired." Ahsoka muttered.

"How can I help you?" Kaeden asked.

Ahsoka frowned.

"I don't know, I just- there's so much going on with the baby and the bleeding and the hormones flying all over the place and all the postnatal stuff that decided it could wait till I was back to start showing up and and, just everything! I feel like I'm drowning!" Ahsoka shouted.

Padmé, who was seated in her carrier, the only thing they had that would be easy to carry around everywhere, at the table, suddenly woke up. Her face scrunched up and she started crying.

"Fuck." Ahsoka groaned

Kaeden left her wife briefly and went to sooth the bawling infant. She lifted Padmé out of the carrier, cradling her in her arms close to her chest and rocking back and forth lightly.

She could see Ahsoka watching her from the corner of her eye, she knew Ahsoka was already feeling guilty for waking their daughter up.

"'m sorry Kay." Ahsoka murmured.

"It's fine, we'll clean it up and Padmé will be back to sleep in no time. It's not your fault." Kaeden told her wife, pressing a gentle kiss onto her cheek.

Truthfully, she doubted that the shouting had woken Padmé up, since the infant had slept through the breaking bowl. She assumed it was a response to Ahsoka's emotions more than anything else, the little one was Force sensitive.

"Don't worry Soka, we'll get the hang of this in no time." She said, hoping to encourage Ahsoka.

Ahsoka just gave her an unconvinced nod. She'd have to get better at convincing her.

XXX

Kaeden heard water running and sloshing in the fresher as she finished drying out her hair from her shower. Padmé cooed sleepily, it was almost time for bed, for both of them. Managing a ship, rebel duties and a newborn was beyond exhausting. She was so grateful for Zevra and Rinu and all the desperately needed help they gave. She smiled down at her daughter, patting her fuzzy head before knocking on the fresher door.

"Soka? You in there?" Kaeden asked.

She got a soft sound of conformation. Kaeden slipped in and shut the door softly. She could smell blood, and didn't even need to look to know where it was coming from.

Ahsoka's postnatal cramps were certainly a bitch.

A bloody fucking bitch.

Ahsoka was laying in the tub with her head resting against the edge, the water was tainted red. Instead of gently reminding Ahsoka that she shouldn't lay in the tub while her cervix was still somewhat dilated, as she probably should have, Kaeden just sat down next to the tub. She knew Ahsoka had just wanted to lay down and not be standing.

Ahsoka was tired, so tired. Her bright eyes were dulled with exhaustion, she had big bags under her eyes. She hardly registered Kaeden's presence, only glancing at her a few times.

"I'll feed Padmé and get her to bed if you want a few more minutes, Soka." Kaeden whispered.

Ahsoka didn't offer much of a response, only giving a small nod of acknowledgement. Kaeden left as quietly as she could manage. She settled in the rocking chair and let Padmé feed, rocking occasionally to lull the infant to sleep.

Padmé yawned a few times, Kaeden burped her, and waited for her to fall asleep. She set Padmé down in her crib, swaddled in the purple star blanket that was undoubtedly her favorite, then went back to the fresher to check on Ahsoka.

Her wife was still sitting there in the slightly bloody water. Dull, tired eyes glanced over at her, Kaeden smiled a bit.

"Soka, I think it's time to sleep, you look really tired." Kaeden said softly.

Ahsoka sighed and slowly sat up, Kaeden turned the water on low so she could help Ahsoka rinse off. She gently poured warm water over Ahsoka until the tint of red was washed away. She retrieved a chilled pad for Ahsoka and helped her dry off. It was fine if Ahsoka was tired, too tired to properly take care of herself at the end of a long day, Kaeden didn't mind doing it for her.

Suddenly, Ahsoka spoke.

"… I'm sorry Kay…"

Kaeden shot her wife a confused stare.

"Whatever for?" She asked.

"I'm sorry I can't do anything, I feel like I've hardly done anything since I got back and you have been doing everything I should be doing. I feel so disorganized and scattered, I can hardly focus long enough to get anything done, I'm just worrying about everything for no reason and I'm so stupid tired all the time. I can't do anything and half the time I'm hardly even here, I'm always thinking and worrying and tired and it doesn't make any sense!" Ahsoka erupted, quickly wincing at the accidental shouting.

"I'm sorry that you have to do everything for me. I'm trying. I'm really, really trying. I don't know what's wrong with me." Ahsoka murmured.

Kaeden took a second to gather her words. She had never been the greatest with words, in her own opinion.

"Soka, there's nothing wrong with any of that, it's normal to be tired and have anxiety like you do after giving birth, it's all normal." She said.

"And I don't mind having to take care of you, I like taking care of you. You were always running around, working yourself into the ground and trying to take care of everyone else before, you never let me take care of you." Kaeden took one of Ahsoka's hands in hers.

"You don't need to apologize, I really don't mind, and you just went through one of the weirdest pregnancies ever, it would be wrong of me to be upset with you for the fallout of that, especially when I wasn't affected the same way as you were. You don't need to worry Ahsoka, I wouldn't stop loving you if you annoyed me for a bit." Kaeden leaned forwards and pressed a small kiss onto Ahsoka's forehead.

"I love you, and I love everything that comes with you, good and bad, I can find a way to love it all. I'll always be here when you need me, you'll never chase me away." Kaeden murmured, her lips brushing against Ahsoka's skin.

"C'mon, let's go to bed."

She helped Ahsoka out of the tub and into a pair of fresh clothes. She did mean everything she had said, she loved everything about Ahsoka, from her protective worry to her inspiring courage and everything else in between. While some things did frustrate her, like Ahsoka's stubbornness, it wasn't that much of a problem and she loved that stubbornness too.

She led Ahsoka to bed and laid down with her, once she got Padmé's crib attached to the bed so the baby could roll over to them if she wished. She wrapped her arms around Ahsoka and murmured soft, encouraging words between gentle kisses, as Ahsoka had done with her right after Raada. Well, not the kissing.

"Don't worry Soka, we'll get the hang of this, it'll just take time, but we'll get there." Kaeden whispered.

Ahsoka nodded and mumbled something, she was already half asleep. Kaeden smiled at her sleeping wife.

"I love you Soka, sleep tight." She gave Ahsoka a final kiss before letting herself go to sleep.

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Poor Ahsoka, she's going through some rough times. Good thing she has Kaeden! And Zevra and Rinu. Also Bail definitely gave her a good maternity leave, but Ahsoka can't sit still and is doing stuff anyway.

Also Kaeden and Ahsoka shifted from calling each other girlfriend and partner to wife because, they've got a kid now so why not?

I think next chapter I'm gonna have Bail visit to lend the Fulcrums Artoo and see the baby! It's probably gonna be a bit of a shorter chapter, like how this was.

I hope you all have a good day, whatever that is for you!

VJS Out!

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