#I’m soooo productive right now guys

[probsdontrememberme]

Drawing some of my Star Wars characters as what they would look like as different species

[diorsluv]

casual , part 10

“ you said, ‘baby, no attachment’ ”

series m. list previous chapter next chapter

( socialmedia!au )

yourusername

liked by lhughes_06, markestapa, and 137,120 others

yourusername the boy is mine❗️

view all comments

vivianliu i see you decided to soft launch

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username93 i’m just waiting for him to get tagged in one of these posts

username17 ethan. it’s ethan.

username45 ermmm girl 🤓🤓 i caught u two in the park the other day stop hiding it from us

_quinnhughes ah hell nah

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→ colecaufield he’s just being overprotective as shit don’t worry

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jackhughes no one wants to see you smoochie smoochie in public

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dylanduke25 ariana grande 😒😒

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markestapa rosie he’s blushing i think you broke him

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lhughes_06 👎

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username11 #rutsupremacy

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adamfantilli oh picnic date!

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→ markestapa picnic

→ adamfantilli it looks fine wdym

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→ markestapa it does look weird

→ lhughes_06 what even is a picnic anymore

→ dylanduke25 Luke, a picnic is something you eat outdoors on the ground, as opposed to at a table

→ _quinnhughes what the hell is all of this

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username25 babe u needa post urself again we dont wanna see his crusty ass on our feed

username17 so he’s yours but he’s not yours bc you’re not actually dating bc HES A FUCKING PUSSY.

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luca.fantilli he’s so exhausting u gotta just make the first move atp

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yourusername

liked by vivianliu, edwards.73, and 186,628 others

yourusername mall date with the bestie n the boyfie to try and get them to get along.. 🛍️

tagged: vivianliu

view all comments

rutgermcgroarty but me and vivi already get along wdym

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vivianliu safe to say it actually worked… 😒

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username25 those r the new kicks ethan bought n posted on his story a few months ago

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edwards.73 “boyfie” ?

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→ edwards.73 ur cute

username71 still a firm believer of #rutsupremacy

username50 #RUTSUPREMACY

username62 #rutsupremacy

username33 #rutsupremacy

username28 yall these comments r gonna be the death of her 😭😭 imagine how ethan feels seeing ts

liked by yourusername

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trevorzegras boyfriend since when?????

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username66 #rutsupremacy

lhughes_06 i like rut supremacy

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→ markestapa he oh’d twice what did you guys do to him

username27 ok but i feel like yall r lit cute together n everyone else is jus a hater fr 🙌🙌

→ username19 YUP YUP say it louder for the people in the back

username36 goddamn do yall just want her to be miserable, like she’s literally happy w him why is it such a problem?? 😭

username82 #rutsupremacy

luca.fantilli going to the mall?? without ME??? 😏

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→ lhughes_06 are you stuck in the high school mentality luca

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→ _quinnhughes oh my god

→ dylanduke25 good lord

→ mackie.samo sometimes it’s best to STOP.

→ edwards.73 super… sophomore?

username15 h&m best store ‼️

username3 #rutsupremacy

username96 MALL DATE so funnn

username23 vivian’s literally the best best friend ever

username74 help why is everyone commenting rut supremacy am i missing something

colecaufield i hope he paid for all your stuff

→ yourusername he did 😒

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→ colecaufield THATS A GOOD THING

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→ vivianliu she’s never had someone who willingly spoils her before

→ yourusername true!

→ colecaufield i spoil u all the time??

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→ jackhughes SO DO I???

→ trevorzegras fym i bought half of the furniture in ur room

→ lhughes_06 i paid for everything when we were younger

→ rutgermcgroarty okay out of everyone i think i spoil you the most so something aint adding up

→ yourusername erm…��.. actually i spoil myself the most 🤓

→ vivianliu spoil doesnt even look like a real word now

username77 what were u buying at victorias secret???

→ yourusername 🫣

mackie.samo dammit u went to the fancy one AND DIDNT INVITE ME

→ yourusername it was bestie boyfie bonding time 😔

→ mackie.samo im a bestie!

→ yourusername …no sweetie ur not

next chapter notes ) HERES TO WINNING THE SERIES AGAINST VEGAS (and proceeding to blow a 3-0 lead and lose to the avs in ot) i know i know it’s late as hell but.. i was burnt out and preoccupied with studying for finals 😓 #rutsupremacy

tags: @dancerbailey3 @hughesfein @loveforaugust @alwaysclassyeagle @love4ldr @inhoodmood @bunting58 @crazycat-ladys-blog @smoooore @bunbunbl0gs @lilasianmeat

[hogwartsandhawkins]

Prove Me Wrong

Chapter 12: Don't Be A Stranger

If you need to catch up here's the masterlist

Summary: Apparently... Jess has new plans for Christmas

Warnings: Mentions of Neil (gross), crude language, cursing, Neil being homophobic if you squint, Billy being a little shit. I think that's it, but as always, let me know if I missed something.

Word Count: 4.8K

Author's Note: I'm so sorry I've been MIA for so long but I'm officially back from my month and a half vacation! TBH I've missed you guys and hope you all enjoy!

“You chaperoning tonight?” Steve walked with Jess toward the parking lot from the gym as they left practice much earlier than usual. The coaches considered this an “early Christmas present” but ensured the basketball team would be having practice a week before school started again in January. The Snow Ball had been the talk of this school week even if it was only meant for the middle schoolers. However, it had also been an excuse for the high schoolers to throw their own parties or get-togethers, not to mention it marked the beginning of winter break, something everyone, including Jess, was looking forward to. 

“Not this year, you?” Jess already knew the answer. Steve never enjoyed that kind of thing, and even if he did, both Nancy and Jonathan would be there tonight, which would have made him want to change his plans. 

Steve shook his head but added, “I’m helpin’ mini-Harrison with his hair tonight though and droppin’ him off tonight.” 

“Who? Dustin?” 

“Hell yeah Dustin. He’s gonna kill it tonight, I know it.” Jess laughed at the thought of Steve combing another teenager’s hair for them. 

“So what are your plans tonight then?” Jess contemplated this question. She wasn’t sure whether she would start on the tedious task Mr. Crowley assigned both her and Billy as Billy probably wouldn’t want to spend his first night of freedom studying. Considering the night it was, she was sure that Hargrove already had plans. She then looked out into the lot and saw him leaning against the familiar blue car, cigarette already placed in his mouth of course. Max was there as well, which surprised Jess since their practice was released 20 minutes after Max’s school was. 

“Uhm, maybe get a head start on some schoolwork. I’m not sure really.” She kept her eyes on Billy though, hoping that maybe that would change.

“Lame.” Steve teased. He continued to walk with Jess, passing his own car as he did so.

“Uh wasn’t that-“

“I thought I’d walk you. Besides Max is there,” was all he said, keeping his eyes on the pair in front of them now, eyeing Billy skeptically as he walked up. “You excited for tonight, kid? You’re first one, right?” 

Max beamed up at Steve, clutching her board as she responded, “Oh yeah, can’t wait, especially since Henderson said you’d be doing his hair again, and that went soooo well last time.” Steve cringed at the memory of two weeks ago, which was described to Jess as a wreck. Dustin apparently was adamant about doing it himself, as he was a hands-on learner apparently, and it ended with screaming from spraying product right in his eye and a small chunk of hair being ripped out due to his hair tangling in the comb, which Dustin swore was due to him balding. 

“Yeah well, I’ll be doing it tonight… I think.” Steve began to stare down Billy again who was also looking at him intently, blowing smoke straight at Steve when he glanced over at him. 

Steve aggressively waved his hand once to get most of the smoke away from him, annoyed by the gesture. “Harrington.” Billy nodded his direction once Steve was able to get most of the smoke out of his face. 

“Hargrove.” They stared at each other for a moment longer when Steve continued, “Guessing you got big plans tonight,” he prodded, insinuating he would be partying with Tommy and Carol, as the pair were always up to something during the Snow Ball. 

Billy swiped his teeth with his tongue as he crushed his red with his boot, smirking to himself when he looked down to ensure it was fully put out. “Don’t really know, Harrington. Depends on what this one wants to do.” He gestured toward Jess, which caused Steve to shift uncomfortably, not enjoying the thought of Jess spending as much time as she had been with Hargrove. Steve rolled his eyes at this, being the first to break the staring, and directed his attention back to Max. 

“See you when I drop Henderson off. Don’t have too much fun.” He directed his last statement to Jess, shoving her arm lightly as he finished his sentence, flashing her a smile of acceptance to lighten the mood. He made sure to give Billy one last look of disapproval, though, before he turned back in the direction of his own car, shaking his head as he left them. 

Jess sighed as she watched her best friend leave. She had made it a point to hang out with Steve more this week, as there wasn’t much for her and Billy to do for their shared reading and she felt as if she had been blowing him off more the past week. However, she felt guilty when she would sometimes imagine what Billy was doing during her moments with Steve.

Considering his failed relationship with Nancy, a relationship that he sacrificed a decent amount of his friends for, she knew he needed her in a way. And the feeling was mutual. He had been the one person she could turn to after the haunting incidents from a year ago and again just a couple months ago. She knew she could never lose Steve. And yet, here she was, spending time with the one person Steve couldn’t stand. Throughout the week Steve had come to accept her and Billy’s strange partnership, which Jess always defended with, “we may as well get along for the project” or “he hasn’t been a total ass yet” occasionally sprinkled in their conversations. 

This thought also irritated Jess. She wasn’t able to do right by Steve, her best friend since moving to this town, when she secretly enjoyed Billy’s company. And she couldn’t do right by Billy, a boy who over the past weeks had shown just how great of a friend he could be when she constantly undermined his character around Steve. She began to realize she was running out of time, that she would have to be truthful eventually, and that she was on the verge of hurting someone’s feelings. But just like cleaning out her closet, she decided to push this task for later. After all, she wasn’t exactly lying, was she?

“Okay, Jess, I’m in.” Max’s voice ripped her from her thoughts as she turned back around to face the passenger side of Billy’s vehicle. 

“Oh, right.” Jess lowered herself in the seat, placing her bag on the floor of the car as she closed her door softly. Billy still had a smirk plastered on his face as he too watched Steve walk toward his car, but it fell when he shifted his head to Jess who was looking at him, mildly annoyed. 

“What?” 

“I know you’re just trying to piss him off.” 

“You don’t know shit, Jess.” Billy gave her a teasing smile as he reached toward the glove box to retrieve his Ray Bans. 

“I know he really doesn’t like you.” 

“Yeah, well.” He placed the glass on the bridge of his nose and pulled out of his parking spot, unphased by Jess’s statement. Jess tsked at his nonchalant behavior rolling her eyes slightly, turning up the radio for background music. “So what are you doing tonight, Logan? You’re not one of those freaks who chaperone are you?” 

Jess nudged his arm harder than intended. “I used to be, thank you very much. But no, not this year.” 

Billy laughed at how offended she was. “I’m just sayin’ I don’t understand why any normal teenager would want to spend their night doing that.” 

“It’s not that bad. It’s actually kind of nice.”

“Whatever you say, princess. You know, we haven’t broken in your ‘new’ TV yet.” Billy began to raise his eyebrows at her. “Let me take you to Family Video and actually pick out a good movie.” 

“I actually already watched Sixteen Candles this week in my room. So it is broken in.”

“Without me?” Billy pretended to be hurt by this fact, gasping at the end of his question for effect. “After I moved it to your room and everything?” 

“You don’t even like that movie.”

“I do!” Max spoke up from behind them, leaning in closer to the middle console as she scooted her body closer to their seats. 

Jess turned to face her, smiling triumphantly as she addressed her. “Well then maybe we should have a movie night.” She then eyed Billy smugly, insinuating he was the one who had shit taste in movies. Max bounced excitedly at the thought of this, realizing that she would have all the free time in the world this winter break. 

“Alright Logan, you let me pick one movie, and the rest can be all the corny chick flicks and sci-fi shit you pick out.” 

The three of them pulled into the Mayfield/Hargrove driveway, Billy turning off the ignition before turning to Jess. “Wanna come in for a bit, need to pick up my wallet and drop the kid off to get ready for the Shit Ball.” He flicked Max’s forehead as he said the last part, earning his hand a loud swat from Max. 

“The Snow Ball.”

“Whatever.” Jess once again rolled her eyes at their bickering and left the car, but before Jess could position the passenger seat to allow Max to leave comfortably, she instead climbed the middle console as she normally did in the mornings and stepped on the seat before crawling out. “Aye, watch the shoes shitbird.” Max ignored him, walking into the house first with her skateboard in hand. Jess and Billy quickly followed, Billy holding the door for them, closing it once they were all inside. Max quickly retreated to her room, Billy leading Jess to his. 

Billy walked straight to his mirror, which stood next to a table that had an assortment of colognes and an ashtray. His wallet was placed next to the tray. Billy thumbed through it to make sure its contents were still there and turned to see Jess standing by his dresser, eyeing what appeared to be a photo album. “Ah shit, forgot to put that away.” He began to grab for it, but instead of putting it away as he first intended, he opened it in front of her. “I guess I did promise to show you California, huh?” 

Billy flipped through the album and within seconds made it to pictures of his favorite beach. It looked exactly as Billy described last weekend. The sand looked so soft like it couldn’t possibly burn your feet even if you stepped on it on the hottest day. The ocean was crystal blue, white foam collecting at the edge where it met the shore. Jess looked at the picture at the bottom left and saw the same beach, but this time a beautiful woman was standing in the middle, smiling as bright as the sun that caused her to shield her eyes when taking the shot. 

“Is that…”

“My mom,” Billy confirmed. He stared at the picture with Jess, his face still as stone. 

“You look a lot like her,” Jess replied softly, afraid that the comparison would make him uncomfortable. Billy nodded his head. He knew this already. Everyone said it. 

Except Neil. 

“Yeah…” he whispered, his head nod accompanied by a melancholy smile. Jess turned the page slowly, allowing Billy time to stop her if he felt the need to. When the page was flipped, what she found instead of the same beach were birthday pictures, a young Billy posed in almost every one of them. She looked at the middle picture on the right page and saw Billy smiling behind a cake with five candles lit in a circle. The color of the frosting caught Jess’s attention, as it was a strange shade of purple with random blue streaks hidden in spots of the cake. 

“You like purple as a kid?” 

“What?”

“Your cake.” Jess watched as Billy’s eyes made his way toward the same picture, and then he began to shake his head. 

“No, uh, my favorite frosting’s strawberry.” He began to run his index finger over the cake lightly before pulling away again. “But, you know, strawberry frosting’s pink.  And my dad didn’t like that so much. Made my mom fix it. She was tryna turn it blue.” Billy then turned the page and directed Jess to another cake, this time it was a shade of bright red and had six candles that were not yet lit. “My dad didn’t like the purple too much either but said it was better than nothing.” He then let out a sad laugh as he kept his attention on the new cake.

“But the next year my mom changed the color. Perfected it, I guess. That’s kind of why red’s my favorite color now, got used to it every year.” However, this wasn’t entirely the case. The truth was, though he did favor red when buying certain clothing and objects for his room, he would much rather be able to say that pink was his favorite. He wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was due to the fact that he wasn’t allowed the color in his life. Maybe it was the way that he was envious Max was allowed it though she was able to choose not to like it. But he chose red, just like his mother did, and that would have to be enough. 

Before Jess could figure out how to respond to this, Billy began to navigate effortlessly through the pages again, where he found more recent pictures of himself and other teenagers who looked around his age at the same beach he showed her earlier. They stayed for a moment as he pointed out certain pictures and memories before he grabbed the album and plopped it on his bed, nodding toward it, indicating she should go sit. He went to the opposite side dropping himself down as well as he moved the album closer to the pair. Billy propped his upper half with his left elbow, his lower half draped off the right side of the bed. His head would have been on her lap if he hadn’t been holding himself up, making Jess shift nervously. They continued to look at pictures of the beach before Billy changed positions, allowing his eyes to meet hers. 

“So whatya think now, Logan, east coast or west coast.” Jess looked away from the pictures and down at Billy, who was already giving her a smug grin, looking up at her with a glint in his eye. 

“Mmm…” Jess then shrugged her right shoulder forward, rocking the upper half back and forth, teasing her uncertainty, “I guess California isn’t too bad.” 

Billy turned himself once again, facing the album, his arm now brushing against Jess’s leg as he continued to flip through the pages with his other hand. There were now pictures of carnival rides and games. Behind most of these pictures was a beach, but it was much more crowded than the beach Billy had been showing her. 

“Santa Cruz beach boardwalk,” Billy said as he continued to turn the pages. Lots of pictures were taken here, many of which had what looked to be an 8 or 9-year-old Billy throughout them. There was only one of what looked to be a younger Neil, still sporting the same mustache he had now. Unlike his son, he wasn’t smiling as he barely wrapped his arm around Billy for the picture. “My mom always wanted to visit the Bay Area.” 

They continued to look through the pictures, Billy attempting to only show her the pictures of things to do in the state of California and avoid pictures of his family and childhood home. It wasn’t until Billy glanced down at his wrist to look at the time when they decided to leave his room. “Better get goin’ if I’m picking the movie tonight, huh?” Billy playfully smacked Jess’s leg as he began to pull himself off the bed. He reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out his keys, jingling them in his hand as he made his way to his bedroom door. Jess left the album open on the bed as she followed him out of the room, both of them walking out the front door together. 

Billy walked toward the passenger door as he began to make a habit of opening it for Jess when she was riding with him. She remembered when she used to be annoyed by the gesture, but now she realized that she rather enjoyed it, allowing him to shut the door for her when she was secured inside. When he entered the car as well, he quickly peeled out of the driveway, ensuring they were no longer driving on Cherry Lane when Neil’s vehicle pulled in. 

They pulled into the parking lot for Family Video in record time, Billy wasting no time as he promptly exited the car. He began rounding the front of the Camaro but stopped when he watched Jess open her own door and exit just as quickly. Jess noticed where he was standing and looked back at the door before looking at Billy again. 

“Oh. Sorry.” 

“Didn’t I say I was a gentleman?” 

“Eh. You’re kind of on and off with it.” Jess smiled back at him as he shook his head. 

“Smart ass.”

Billy walked closely behind Jess as they entered the store, making a point to open the door for her before they did. She began to look around the store, beginning to walk toward the left. However, Billy grabbed her arm and began to steer her to the right of the store. “Wrong way, princess.” She looked in the direction of where he was leading her, and her eyes began to widen as she saw the section they were entering. 

“Absolutely not!” 

“Ah come on. I’ll be right there.” 

“Yeah. That makes me feel soooo much better.”

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” 

He let go of her arm and began thumbing through the horror movies, looking around to try and find something more interesting than what was already in front of him. He then looked over at Jess again, still expecting an answer to her earlier statement. 

“You seem like the type to try and scare me even more than the movie is going to.” 

“You should learn to trust me a little more, Logan.” He then held up two tapes and faced them toward her. “How about I let you choose.” Jess was now looking at Friday the 13th and Halloween II. 

“How about…” She mocked the way he spat out his last sentence “… neither.” After what happened in Hawkins, she would have thought her fear of horror movies would have subsided, that nothing could beat the fear of what she witnessed both last and this year. It was only a week before Halloween that Steve also attempted to watch Halloween II with her and Nancy, and instead of Nancy cuddling up to Steve as he intended, she was allowing Jess to hide behind her as she refused to look at the screen. Steve looked only slightly put out the rest of the movie, earning Jess the nickname “cock-block” for the rest of the week. 

“Alright then, smart ass.” He put back Halloween II, the movie Jess would have picked if she really had to, considering she had already “seen” it, and held the other tape in his right hand, beginning to steer Jess to the front counter with his left. 

“Are we really gonna watch that?” 

“I’ll let you pick out the snacks.” 

“Great...”

Billy successfully added the rented movie to his family’s account and the two of them left, Jess shuffling her feet a bit slower than usual, slightly less excited for tonight, not wanting to seem incredibly lame for her inability to watch the screen as the movie Billy picked out played.

As they left the parking lot, Billy drove passed the mini-mart everyone usually picked out snacks for a movie from Family Video, and instead began in the direction of the grocery store on the other side of town. Jess began to turn her head toward the mini-mart and began to open her mouth before Billy quickly interrupted.

“Can’t go there. The guy won’t sell to me.” 

“Won’t sell to… what do you mean ‘won’t sell to you’?”

Billy just gave her a mischievous grin and turned his attention back to the road. Jess then scoffed. “You really think we’re gonna be drinking in my room with my parents in the same house?” 

“Relax… it’s just for me. Unless you actually wanted some. Then whatever.” Jess just shook her head in response, failing to hide her smile as she pretended to disapprove. 

They arrived at the grocery store where Billy apparently had the “hookup”, a middle-aged man who looked like he would rather be anywhere else but there. Billy quickly went after a six-pack of American Colonial and then turned to Jess. “Whatever you want, princess.” 

“Whatever I want.” Jess repeated back, reassuring Billy that she will be getting just that. Considering that she would be forced to watch a movie that would cause Billy to tease her for the rest of Christmas break, she figured he owed her. She made her way to the candy isle first, grabbing a few Charleston chews bars and then a Twix bar. She handed these over to Billy, freeing up her hands as she walked over to the chips and crackers isle, grabbing a bag of Doritos and a package of room-temperature microwave popcorn. “You’re lucky I have drinks at the house,” she stated smugly and began walking toward the register Billy pointed out to her earlier. 

“Is that everything…” The middle-aged man, apparently named Brian, asked with a monotone voice. 

“Yup,” Billy responded, not looking back at the man until he slid his cash out of his wallet and handed it to him. 

“One thirty-two is…” 

“You can keep it big guy.” Billy grabbed the bag and the six-pack from the side of the register, nodding at Brian as he turned to leave. 

“Yippie…” Jess heard Brian sigh as they walked away. 

The ride to Cherry Lane was longer as this grocery store was not on the same side of town as their neighborhood was. When they eventually made it back home, it was beginning to get dark, which made Jess slightly anxious. 

“Shit, I think dinner’s done…” Jess began as she unclicked her seat belt and reached for the door handle. The original plan, as described by Billy, was for him to drop her and the goods off, park his Camaro back at his house, and wait a few hours before climbing her roof to her window. However, she looked back at Billy with something else in mind. “Do you… wanna maybe come in? For dinner I mean. I don’t think my parents will care. You can still come back later tonight.” 

Billy looked at her for a few moments, watching her nervously shift as she asked this question. It caused him to smile. If he were to tell her the truth, he would say how much he enjoyed the first time he ate dinner with her and her family, and how she would never have to ask if he wanted to do it again. All she would have to do was tell him he was welcome to. 

Instead, he dropped his smile and shrugged nonchalantly, looking away from her and to her front door. “I mean, I guess.” 

“You don’t have to if…” Billy was already out of the car, unwilling to have her finish that sentence. 

“Let’s get to it, Logan.” Billy was at her car door again, opening it as she grabbed the plastic bag from her feet. When her door was closed, she noticed that he had taken the six-pack out of the car with him. 

“You said that was for you!” She whispered harshly at him. 

“It is. For tonight.” He winked at her and positioned the pack at the bottom of the bag, covering it with the rest of the snacks. “Why do you think I asked for your shit to be double-bagged?” 

“Dammit, Billy.” 

“Better hurry upstairs.” He winked again, nudging her with his shoulder. “Hey, don’t worry. I’ll distract them. They love me.” 

He was right. For some strange reason, they had taken a major liking to him, especially since the TV incident. And to her dismay, her mother refused to stop talking about how Billy Hargrove was such a ‘nice boy’.

Yeah. Right.

Jess swiftly unlocked the front door and made her way to the stairs, movie in one hand, the now heavy plastic bag in the other. 

“Hey mom, I’m just gonna-“

“Oh hi, hun. Oh and Billy! What a wonderful surprise! Dinner’s about ready if you’re hungry dear.” 

Billy had obviously occupied her parents without even trying, giving Jess an ample amount of time to stash the bag before either of her parents even wondered what she had. When she made her way back downstairs Billy gave her a chum smile, accompanied by another wink as he made his way to the dining room. 

“Told you,” he whispered just loud enough for Jess to hear, both Mr. and Mrs. Logan scrambling around the kitchen. 

“Shut up.”

Dinner tonight was made up of skirt steak, Mrs. Logan’s famous garlic mashed potatoes as served last time Billy stayed for dinner, and an assortment of roasted vegetables. As usual, it was amazing. The silence that accompanied the occasional sound of silverware clanking against porcelain was soon interrupted by Mrs. Logan. 

“Oh! Billy!” Mrs. Logan took a drink from her wine glass before continuing as she captured the rest of the table’s attention. “So my husband has been talking to your father…” she smiled at Mr. Logan, missing Billy’s cringe at the mention of his dad. “They’ve been doing a lot of that at the bank, and the topic of Christmas came up.” She was now looking back at Billy and Jess, both their expressions confused. 

Mr. Logan cleared his throat, nodding as he was beginning to remember the conversation his wife was alluding to. “Right. So we normally do Christmas Eve with the Harrington’s and their boy Steve. He’s actually on the basketball team as well, I’m sure you know him.” 

The same mischievous smile from the car came back as he looked over at Jess quickly before turning his attention to her father. “Oh yeah. Harrington. We’re great friends.”

“Oh good. Figured you would be.” Billy glanced over at Jess again as she cleared her throat. “Well we were thinking, since your family is new into town, you guys live practically next door, and since you, Steve, and Jess seem to be friends, I invited your family over for Christmas Eve as well. We just do dinner and-“ 

Mr. Logan was interrupted by Jess choking on her steak. She reached out for her water and chugged a bit, clearing her airways before looking at her dad. Billy was covering his smile with his hand, his elbow propped up on the table, attempting to look unphased. 

“Sorry,” Jess coughed out. “D- do you think we’ll have enough room? I mean, we don’t have that many chairs and-“ 

“Oh don’t be silly, it’ll be fine. Besides, the table extends and I’m sure we’ll find some other chairs upstairs," Mrs. Logan butt in. Billy remembered the room upstairs with all the old, mismatched furniture, and wondered if any of those chairs would be in any condition to be sat on, considering most were missing legs. 

“Alright,” Jess said in a small voice, pushing her food around with her fork. It wasn’t the idea of having Billy over for Christmas Eve that made her uneasy, rather, the fact that she would be having Billy over for Christmas Eve with Steve Harrington. It will be a whole evening. A whole evening of Harrington and Hargrove in the same house. At the same table. And she would be in the middle of it. 

The vexatious glint in his eye was still there as he removed his hand from in front of his mouth and looked back and forth between her parents. “That sounds great. Can’t wait.” He then smiled over at Jess before bringing back his attention to his food and began to eat again. “By the way Mrs. Logan, dinner is amazing.”

Jess continued to sneak annoyed glances at Billy, who was smugly eating his dinner, apparently amused at what just happened. When everything was finished and both Billy and Jess brought the remaining dishes back to the kitchen, Billy once again spoke up. 

“Thank you so much for tonight, but I should get going soon. Again, Mrs. Logan, dinner was great.” 

“Well thank you for stopping by, don’t be a stranger!” Mrs. Logan called out to him. 

Billy strutted his way back to Jess, who was standing at the landing of her stairs by the entryway. As he reached out for the doorknob, he looked down at Jess, towering over her until he bent down so his lips were just at her ear. 

“See you tonight, gorgeous.”

@nix-rose @fandom-princess-forevermore @ooo---hazelgrimm---ooo @axionn @defenslessheart-main @the-lost-are-ignored

[myloveforhergoeson]

hi! stealing @partiallypearl /@praetoravila 's lovely olive and writing a story about her and roxy becoming friends in a world where their boyfriends are professional hockey players instead of singers. born as the wag (wives and girlfriends) au in our dm's comes the completed (read: lightly edited...) product here! experimenting with some new friendship and relationship dynamics hehe <3 i hope you all enjoy. i love olive soooo much <3

--

blow me (one last kiss) ~ 6.5k

The Staples Center was utterly fucking freezing. 

No building should ever be allowed to be this cold, Olive thought, bundling into her thinly lined bomber jacket. Just scanning her ticket at the front gate and walking into the arena had been enough to make every hair on her body stand on end, and now, as she navigated the packed hallways to find the seating designated on her ticket, she was beginning to find the prospect of another few hours at this temperature nearly unbearable. 

Logan had warned her, over and over again, in the last few days to dress accordingly. It had taken many massages, offers to help her with carrying heavy things to and from work, cuddle sessions, and even a nudge from Wren for Olive to even entertain the idea of going to one of his games; His over-the-top attitude had her convinced that when he advised her to layer up, he’d been thoroughly overexaggerating. 

“Surly what I’m wearing won’t matter when I’m rubbing shoulders with the guy next to me,” She scoffed at his words, between bites of the lasagna Logan had spent so much time meticulously whipping up in the kitchen in his final, and ultimately successful, attempt to get her to agree to attend one of the Kings games. “If we’re packed in there like sardines - Sounds like so much fun by the way - I’ll be fine.”

He just smiled at her, brown eyes gleaming under the candlelight as if he were straight out of a stupid chick flick, “Ollie… You think I’d let you sit up in the nosebleeds?”

Taking another spoonful of lasagna, Olive stared down at her plate, hoping the low light hid the heat rising to the tops of her ears. 

The two of them had spent the rest of the night talking about the team’s upcoming schedule, planning out times they’d be able to connect while he was in town, how best to get a hold of each other when he was away… All things Olive had never considered before diving headfirst into a relationship with a professional athlete, but were now on her mind more than ever. Thankfully, he’d be in town for the next few days before jetting off to somewhere on the East Coast.

I’ll be sure to leave the time-zone calculations to him…

As she followed the signs pointing her to the marked section on the thick cut paper clutched between freezing hands, she took the descending staircase down, down, down to the very front of the row. The very front of the row which also happened to be the first row in the arena. 

Being a starting player on the team, she’d assumed he’d use a bit of sway to get her a good view, but certainly not one of the best ones in the house. 

Reserved: Olive Pasqualina read the sign draped over the padded chair Olive stood in front of, with a soft, warm-looking sweatshirt on the seat.

With a grumble, the girl swiped the paper sign and crumpled it in her hands, throwing it to the sticky arena floor at her feet, before scooping up the sweater and sitting down, balling it in her lap. 

Already, the material was warming up her fingertips, which she hardly noticed as she peered through the thick plexiglass in front of her at the wide expanse of playing field. To her left, the perfect view of where the Kings sat - if she wanted to stare at the back of Logan’s head for part of the game - and to her right the opposing team’s bench. In the center of her vision was the red line, with a spectacular view of the entire ice rink so she wouldn’t miss out on even a second of the action. 

Logan had truly gone all out for his girlfriend’s first Kings game. 

Messing with the sweatshirt in her hands again, Olive considered wearing it, but that would just prove that Logan had been right about her attire, so for now, she draped it over her legs to quell their bouncing as they tried to heat up the skin beneath her blue jeans. As far as she could tell, the Kings logo was embroidered onto the front of the purple fabric and Mitchell was written, big and bold, across the top of the back. 

He must have been crazy if he thought she’d wear such a thing… At least out in public. 

It would make her look like every other crazy fan girl in the stadium, toting their merch around, covered from head to toe in Kings gear like some kind of freaky uniform, not unlike the woman currently stepping around Olive’s seat to get to her own. 

From her Kings pom-pom beanie, to her logo patterned scarf, to her fleece jersey emblazoned with Diamond arching around her shoulders, she was sporting exactly the opposite look Olive wanted to embody. 

God, if they sold Kings thongs no doubt she’d be wearing one…

It wasn’t until the superfan waved in her direction and sat down right next to Olive in a reserved seat of her own labeled Songbird, that she realized this wasn’t just some puck bunny with a front-row season pass.

Logan mentioned a couple of weeks ago two of his best friends had gotten engaged, leading to an engagement party at one of the nicest restaurants in L.A., rented out by two people too enamored with each other to properly interact with the invitee list that Olive guessed stretched a mile long. He swore up and down he was one hundred percent on the list to be a groomsman, considering he and Logan had practically known each other since pre-school, and that James had just been waiting for the perfect time to ask him. 

When James and his fiancee had announced the ceremony would be taking place in the Amalfi Coast just as soon as the season was over, she’d nearly doubled over in laughter.

How any couple could just ask a large group of people to drop all their plans, commitments, jobs, whatever for a handful of days and fuck off to some beautiful coastal resort on the whole other side of the world to celebrate the two of them was beyond Olive; As if she wanted to spend her precious time off focused on anyone but herself and Logan. 

How selfish… Olive ruminated, allowing a side glance at the girl one more time to confirm that she was the girl attached to James’ hip at the restaurant. If her shining green eyes as she scanned the ice for her fiancee weren’t the first hint, the second would be the gigantic, glittering ruby slid around her ring finger. 

Just as Songbird sat down, the lights in the arena began to dim, and she shot up to her feet again, clapping and cheering her pretty little head off, like she was experiencing the most euphoric feeling in the world. 

And maybe, for a moment, Olive felt it too, pulling her eyes off her seatmate and up to the large jumbotron above them, playing a promotional video for the Kings before the game began. Pulling the sweatshirt tighter against her legs in anticipation, her heart skipped when a short clip of Logan hit the screen, and the fans in the arena lit up at the sight of their favorite player. She couldn’t help but take some pride in the fact his cheers seemed to be louder than most of the other players.

At least by sheer number. If it had been purely based on noise levels, Songbird might have had everyone beat when James’ segment rolled. 

Despite being a relatively new player to the Kings, traded over from the Minnesota Wild to play offense just two years ago, Logan had managed to solidify his place on the team quite quickly. Not only did he get along well with his teammates, but their play styles just seemed to click together in an unexplainable, yet effortless way. Maybe it had to do with the fact three of his childhood friends had eventually found their way to the Kings too, like James, in addition to the team goalie, Carlos, and captain, Kendall. 

“The odds of that happening are nearly a million to one,” He’d explained to her ages ago, cuddled up on the couch as they watched Make It or Break It. “But for it to happen with the four of us? All on one team?... If I weren’t a man of science, I’d almost call it divine intervention.”

In response, Olive just snorted. 

 The rink in front of her slowly filled with machine-made fog, video screen drawing eyes away from the playing field in the process, though she wouldn’t doubt for a second if it was just actually that cold in the building. A few moments later, all of the lights shut off except for a bright, white spotlight, illuminating the side of the arena the Kings emerged from, and the crowd lost it as the players came skating out into the rink, more lights following the players one by one.

A handful made their way directly to the bench, while others zoomed this way and that, gliding across the ice with so much force, yet so much control, it nearly astonished Olive. Of course, she jokingly poked fun at Logan a million times for his puck-in-net profession - “Practice is all day today? How hard can it actually be to score a goal?” - but had never seen him show off the culmination of his hard work. Skill and expertise he had been crafting since his Pee-Wee hockey league in Duluth, Minnesota.  

The SportsCenter highlights she’d looked up after he mentioned some particularly good games didn’t count. Not that she’d ever tell anyone she watched them anyway. 

When she spotted a flash of short brunette hair, stick in one hand and helmet in the other, and the mountain of black and purple padding covering his body, Olive didn’t even bother catching the sweatshirt before it fell to the ground. She was on her feet, slamming her hands together so hard they were sure to be bright red, the same color no doubt appearing on her cheeks.

Due to the bitter cold…

Kendall, James, and Carlos all came out with him, the four of them chattering about something as they made traversing over the slippery ice look as easy as walking. 

Like their teammates, Olive figured they’d either secure a spot on the bench or warm up around the rink, so she bent down to grab the piece of clothing off the ground. 

When she popped back up, to her surprise, two players were on the other side of the glass - Jesus Christ they’re fast - peering back at them. However, the taller of the two had his eyes laser-focused on the girl beside her, mouthing something Olive wasn’t able to decipher. A second later he and Songbird were all but making out across the barrier.

As her gaze shifted to Logan, the expression on his face was almost identical, though when their eyes met, Olive immediately looked to the floor. 

With a few taps on the glass with his hockey stick, he nabbed her attention again, mouthing, “I love you.”

She pretended not to notice the smile stretching across her face, matching the one cutting the most adorable dimples into his cheeks. Gripping the shirt in her hands, she replied, “Love you too, Mitchell. Good luck.”

It was a longer message, but she knew she got her point across when he nodded, eyes still never leaving her, as he moved to slide his helmet on. 

“Oh,” His mouth formed the shape, gloved hand pointing to her midsection. “Wear your jersey.”

Normally, she’d fight him. Tell him she was perfectly capable of taking care of herself, that she wasn’t interested in being branded with his name for the entire world to see. But he was right, it was cold, and he’d gotten it special, just for her. Though the thought sparked some heat in her chest, it wasn’t enough to stop the shivers. 

“Okay,” Olive promised before he skated off, one more sidelong glance over his shoulder in her direction that made her heart leap into her throat. 

I will, she declared silently, just for you,

***

“That looks so good on you, Olive!”

A voice flittered down from the aisle and Olive looked up from her phone. The game had taken its first intermission; Neither the Kings nor the Knights had scored any points. 

“I needed to see it from the back to take it in… God, it fits like a glove!”

Two large popcorn bags bigger than her head obscured Olive’s view of Songbird’s face. How she managed to see the jersey on her back was beyond her. 

Before Olive could say anything in response, the other girl practically dropped one of the bags in her lap, and the usher trailing behind her gently placed a large can of Diet Coke in the cup holder of her seat. 

“Hey, woah-”

The fanatic hadn’t even mentioned she was going on a snack run, and Olive hadn’t mentioned she was hungry. Or that if she were, she was more than capable of getting up and getting things herself. 

“Thank you, Victor!” Songbird chirped, taking her seat and collecting the Bud Light from the usher’s other hand. “If I had more hands, I could’ve grabbed some Skittles, but alas…”

In response, the man smiled, “Always happy to help Mrs. Diamond.”

The squeal that left her mouth after he ascended back up the stairs almost broke Olive’s eardrum. “That flatterer! Oh, I can’t believe he just called me that… Can you have a heart attack if your heart beats too fast? Because I think I’m about to,” she twittered on before finally taking a handful of popcorn to her mouth. 

For a second, Olive reveled in the silence as the other girl chewed. She had many questions, but was worried asking them would set her up for a lengthy conversation for the rest of the game. Both of them were there to support their partners, not make silly idle chat. 

Taking note that Olive hadn’t touched either of the items she’d brought, Songbird stuck her lip out. “Remember when Logan pissed you off a few months ago and he sent you that big rose bouquet?”

“Excuse me?” 

A fire started in the pit of her gut, licking its way up her body. She clenched her hands into tight fists. What gives her the right-

“I told him it wasn’t enough; Took James’ Corvette, picked Logan up, and forced him into a Target to buy all of your favorite snacks. That little basket he dropped off at your door with the in-person apology was so much better.”

Silence hung in the air. Olive blinked, still trying to figure out where this conversation was going. Damn the crescent-shaped indents that may appear cutting into her palms later. 

“That’s how I know what you like,” She finished, reaching into her cup holder, taking her beer, and twisting off the cap. “So you can’t tell me you don’t.”

One breath in. One breath out. Olive slid her fingers inside the sleeves of the jersey and focused on the soft fleece inside, while the other girl nearly chugged her drink. 

Some days were easier to manage her IED than others.

“Right. Got it��” Slowly, the girl dared to reach for some of the salty popcorn, thinking of it as a strange kind of peace offering from this near stranger. “You stole his Corvette?”

Closing her black, glittered eyelids, Songbird nodded. “Would’ve been too much commotion if I drove up in my Rolls, don’t you think?” 

For a second, Olive almost felt bad she couldn’t remember her name. 

Overhead, the buzzer sounded, marking the start of the second period.

*** 

A particularly rough play landed Logan in the penalty box; Songbird shot to her feet, booing the referee and banging on the glass in front of her as though the call ruined her entire life. 

Is that what I’m supposed to be doing too? Olive wondered until her phone rang, vibrating over and over in her back pocket until she managed to grab it and take in the caller ID.

One of her young clients’ parents was attempting to get a hold of her, suggesting what would likely be a long conversation she didn’t want to have off the clock. However, if one of her clients was struggling to find a helpful coping strategy for their anger or anxiety, she couldn’t let them go through that alone. 

Over the years, Olive had been afforded much patience and grace by her loved ones as she learned her own effective techniques. This was her way of paying it forward. 

Quickly taking the call, she slid out of her seat and climbed the stairs to the main concourse, finding an exit stairwell with minimal people inside where she was better able to assess the situation and work it through with the individuals on the other line. 

It didn’t take long to talk her client through one of the meditative techniques they’d discussed in their last counseling session, though every once and a while the crowd outside would roar, and Olive feared it may carry through the line and distract from the calming environment she was trying to form with her words. Even though it was often a challenge to find effective strategies for each of her clients, and meditation certainly didn’t work for her, it was always interesting to see what led someone else to feel more in control of their emotions. 

With a promise to send over some more meditative techniques to the parent over email on Monday Olive made her way back to her seat… But not before Googling “James Diamond girlfriend” to put her mind at ease. 

For a moment, she considered following it up with “Logan Mitchell girlfriend” just to see what was out there about her and the hockey star, before remembering it would probably flood her eyes with images of actress Camille Roberts too. 

Ugh…

The moment she sat back down in her seat and took a long sip of her cool drink, her eyes immediately found Logan out of the box and skating on the ice again. 

“Did you get the box I sent you?” 

Olive did her breathing technique again, preparing for some more meaningless small talk with her seatmate. 

Cocking her head, she turned to the girl beside her, running one hand through her thick, black hair. “What?”

Immediately, Songbird’s lips pressed together tightly. “Never mind! Logan did well while you were away… Almost got a goal before the other guys swept it away. I’ll tell James he wasn’t show-boating enough as a distraction after the game… And he calls himself a center… ”

Any word after “never mind” flew in one of Olive’s ears and out the other, not bothering to make a home in the auditory processing center of her brain. She could handle a lot; a high-intensity job, a famous boyfriend, and entertaining the whims of the rich girl beside her, but one thing she still struggled greatly with were surprises. 

“Roxanne.” Olive cut, thankful for the excellent internet connection in the Staples Center. The girl beside her immediately stopped talking, brows raising, pom-pom beanie falling limp to the side. “Surprises… Make me anxious. So, again, what box?”

Carefully, Roxy ran a few purple-painted nails through the ends of her hair, revealing the #1 tattoo, James’ jersey number, behind her ear. “The… um…” Her eyes shifted to the rink and followed her fiancee for a few seconds too long before she turned back to Olive and took a deep breath. “The bridesmaid proposal box?”

Taking another sip of her soda was a bad idea; Olive almost choked on the sweet liquid the moment the words left Roxy’s mouth. 

“I’m so sorry - I didn’t know surprises weren’t okay! That’s completely my fault!” She apologized, holding her hands up in defense. For a moment, Olive thought she might grab her shoulders or something, but she refrained, looking her right in the eye as she continued to speak. “It’s full of a bunch of fun stuff I thought it would be fun to propose with; Monogrammed matching PJ’s, a nice bottle of rose, a cute mug… A bunch of other little goodies too! And I swear the card I wrote inside for you is far more articulate than my freaking-out speech right now.”

For a world-class songwriter and performer to struggle with her words, Olive found a slight hint of amusement amid her shock. “Don’t we… barely know each other?”

Roxy wrung her hands together, “Not really! And this seems super weird to you…? Oh, God, I’m sorry. James told me this come on too strong-”

“Screw what James said. You’re asking me to be part of the wedding party, not him.”

Wait… She was inviting it now? When did she stop choking and start smiling? What happened to destination weddings being a selfish, dick move?

Roxy’s eyes lit up again, shining as bright as the rock on her finger. “Right! I am! Because the wedding isn’t for months, we have so much time to get to know each other, and I want to be friends with you so badly… Like every time Logan mentions you, I swear you get cooler and cooler but I’ve been so busy with my band’s tour and everything… I practically begged him to put your seat right next to mine today.”

Shifting around on the cushioned chair, Olive clutched at her drink, using it like a lifeline as she let the writer’s words swirl around her head. Her chest inflated like a balloon.

Goddamn, she had to give Songbird some credit for laying all her cards out on the table.

“You’re crazy,” Olive remarked, and just as she finished the stadium broke out into such intense cheering, that the floor shook beneath their feet. The jumbotron above them played the same video over a few times; Kendall making the first slapshot into the Knight’s goal. “And I’ve never been to Italy before.”

Looking back over at the bride-to-be, the girl’s eyes were beginning to well over with happy tears. “Me neither. And honestly? Don’t tell anyone… but I’m terrified of the plane ride over.”

***

Olive also took back her thoughts about not being able to support Logan’s game and get to know Roxy at the same time. As the game rolled into the last period, the Kings and Knights were tied 1-1. 

At this point, the two of them had chatted and cheered until their throats were raw, pounded on the glass until their hands were bright red, and ate so much popcorn their stomachs were starting to ache… All-in-all, a day the counselor would look back on fondly.

She’d also get to brag to Logan she got the wedding party invitation first… Not that that mattered in the slightest…

Now, all everyone was waiting for was the first team to make the next goal. Whoever scored first would ultimately end up being the winner of the game as the clock ticked closer and closer to zero. Neither the Knights nor the Kings were letting up. Logan and James had been slammed into the boards more times than Olive could count, Carlos had blocked at least 7 shots, and Kendall was doing his best to chart out which plays the team should chance in their last few minutes. 

The Kings had even used their time-out, trying to regroup as best they could before play resumed again. In the blink of an eye, Logan was on the left side of the field, then the right, speeding down right in front of her, lining up to take a wide-open shot-

Until the same Knights player that had been tailing him all night, the one his teammate had been supposed to guard slipped by, ramming into Logan’s side at what looked like full speed just before his stick hit the puck. 

Pads crunched. Roxy let out a frustrated scream. Olive felt her stomach hit the floor just as Logan collided with the ice, bouncing back up slightly from the sheer impact of it all. 

It took him a few seconds longer than normal to recover, and get back up on his feet as quickly as he could, but not before slinging an arm around his ribs, tilting his covered head back in what his girlfriend could only assume was a wince in pain. His fists clenched, the same way Olive’s did when she felt an intense bout of anger bloom within. 

To see how the people in her life processed their emotions was interesting; Typically Wren and Logan went about it the same way. Taking a step back, deep breaths, and evaluating the situation from an analytical standpoint. Is this worth my time and frustration? Is there a better course of action?

When Olive was younger, she was more of an act-first, think-later kind of girl. Her temper ruled her life. Landed her in juvie, and earned her a less than pleasant new adornment around her ankle. 

Though things were different for her now, that didn’t make her IED any less of a factor in her daily life. Logan had seen her through numerous incidents and was always by her side to make sure he was able to help whenever she asked.

So, when he finally caught his bearings, he skated over to where the puck was in play, shoved off his stick and gloves, before throwing a tremendous right hook right into his aggressor's jaw. All of the air left Olive’s lungs. 

She was too far away to hear any words being exchanged, but as if they could sense it, the other players immediately cleared the surrounding area as Logan’s opponent, Heinrich, recoiled from his attack, dropping his own stick and gloves in return before reaching out a hand and balling it into the Kings player’s jersey, throwing a punch of his own. 

The glass in front of her rattled, probably from her new friend at the rate she was yelling, and the arena slowly filled with a mixed chorus of reactions. Some screaming for Logan, others rooting for the Knight’s player, while a few just let out their own whoops as their thirst for violence was quenched. 

And she just stared at him, jaw hanging half open as she watched her seemingly mild-mannered boyfriend lay into a man almost half a foot taller than he was. Each graceful arc of his fist as he reared back and slammed it into Heinrich’s body had an effect on her, lighting a fire under her so quickly that she jumped to her feet as well, joining Roxy at the glass shouting her own, “You better kick his ass, Mitchell!”

By the time the referees pulled the two off of each other, they were bloody, beaten messes, and maybe Olive was slightly biased, but she was pretty sure Logan was being dragged away the victor. Her cheeks were on fire, her chest so warm as she crossed her arms across her body.

God, he’s hot.

Forget bragging about the wedding invitation, she was almost ready to climb over the barrier separating them and jump his bones in front of the entire Staples Center. 

She couldn’t keep her eyes off of him, watching with eyebrows glued to her forehead as he spat out a mouthful of dark red blood against the blindingly white ice in Heinrich’s direction. Still unable to hear, she watched the Knight’s defenceman shout something in Logan’s direction and he struggled against the referee again. 

Practically foaming at the mouth, Logan’s response could be read across his lips for miles and miles. “Not in front of my girl.”

Olive had to cling to Roxy’s arm to stay standing after that, heart hammering against her rib cage louder than her newfound friend rattled against the glass partition. 

Now clinging to her equally as tight, the musician let out a loud wolf whistle as both Logan and Heinrich were sent to the penalty box for their little showdown. “I wonder how much of a fine that’ll rack up…”

A fine? Olive wondered, taking into account how much of a penny pincher her boyfriend tended to be. Now, his getting into the fight was all the more enchanting, considering his professional reputation and finances were on the line. Silently, she chastised herself for being so into his aggression, before a moment later Roxy sighed and complained James would never get into fights because he was “too pretty.”

Ah… She gets it.

As both players skated off to the bench for what was likely the remainder of the game, Logan diverted his path there to skate by where the two girls stood, gear tangled up in his arms as he did his best to quickly put his gloves back on. 

From where they stood, mere inches separating her and her boyfriend, Olive could already see the damage to his handsome face splotching in dark purples and blues across his jaw and cheeks, maybe even one of his eyes. The worst though, was the blood running down his bottom lip from where Heinrich had thrown a punch hard enough to split it open, hence all the blood the hockey player was leaving on the ice. 

Tapping his stick on the glass, just because he could, not because he was trying to gain her attention, Logan just grinned and looked at his girlfriend, a bright smile forming on his face and showing off all the blood between his teeth and mouthguard. 

“Hey, Ollie,” he mouthed, still too much noise in the stadium to properly hear each other. The King's fans behind her started going crazy, trying to lean down into the space she was standing to get his attention, but he paid them no mind, just staring at Olive as though she were the only thing in the world. 

And she felt like the only thing in his world too, even as he raised a gloved hand to wipe some of the blood pouring down his chin. No doubt, when he took his gloves off later, she’d pull his hands into hers, and study the bruises blooming across his knuckles, looking for the splitting skin symbolizing the scuffle he’d been in. “Red’s not your color,” she mouthed back. 

“I know-” Reply cut short by the blowing of the ref’s whistle, Logan glanced over his shoulder to see the black and white striped man gesturing toward the penalty box. He was more than overstaying his welcome. Gently, he took one of his fingers and tapped it against his lip, leaning into the glass between them. “Kiss it better?” 

Out of her peripherals, she noticed the video on the jumbotron above them change. Now, she and Logan were the only ones in the frame, showing their interaction to the entire stadium. 

When did Roxy let go of me… And when did she pull her phone out to film?

The ref sounded his whistle again but Logan didn’t move. 

Olive shook her head, glancing from side to side and noticing everyone in their section looking her way. “Later.” 

“Now,” her boyfriend demanded, eyes narrowing, losing the boyish sparkle they normally held. 

At this point, Olive placed her hands on her hips, cocking one to the side as she spat back, “Box. Now. Or I’m going to shove my foot so far up-”

Two referees were heading in Logan’s direction now. The both of them were holding up the entire game at this point, and they both knew it, too lost in their exchange to care.

“I’m not moving.”

“Too many people watching.”

“Since when do you care?”

Balking, Olive realized the referees were almost at his sides, ready to haul them apart from each other before she could make up her mind. “You owe me.”

Hesitantly, the girl finally leaned in to meet him, pressing her lips up against the glass right where the corner of his lip was waiting on the other side. The glossy shimmer she had applied before the game was left in her wake, and Logan grinned like an idiot again. Still so much blood in his mouth. “Whatever you want, baby girl.”

By then, he’d happily followed the refs over to where he needed to be, and Olive just fell back into her seat as though she were in some sort of silly love trance. Logan Mitchell had just cast some sort of spell over her, one she’d certainly have to learn by rewatching the video Roxy was still taking on her phone over, and over, and over again.

***

“I’ll call you tomorrow, okay? We have to set up a date to go shopping together,” Roxy cooed, rubbing her hands together in the tunnels leading toward the King’s locker rooms. 

They had barely won the game after Logan’s little stunt. James and one of the other players Olive wasn’t familiar with had run one of Kendall’s well-designed plays to fake their opponents out, feigning shooting the puck to the left when they’d sent it halfway down the arena to the right. The counselor thought her eardrum might shatter at Roxy’s racket when James scored the goal, and now, the girl was literally bouncing on her heels as her eyes kept darting between the door and her new friend. 

“Right… Maybe dinner would work better instead?” Olive suggested, trying to divert their time getting to know each other into something they’d both enjoy.

James opened the door to the locker room, laughing at something Carlos said as they exited together, carrying his gear duffel and stick and Roxy’s attention was immediately lost. “Yeah… Sure… Absolutely…”

As if the center could sense the slightest shift in the energy of the tunnel, he turned his head in her direction and Carlos rolled his eyes.

Olive tried not to let out a snort as the goalie raised a finger to his temple, swirling it in a circle and crossing his eyes in an attempt to make her laugh as the two practically ran to meet each other halfway. His message was clear: These two are nuts!

Of all the things she had learned that evening, that fact was certainly true, especially when Roxy launched herself into his outstretched arms, bag and stick now clattering to the floor as she wrapped herself around him, squealing this and that about his game winning shot. For all of two seconds, it was a nice, wholesome scene, until James started to murmur something in her ear about her dark leggings, hands creeping down her back. “Sick of the black… I need to see you in white as soon as possible, songbird…”

Roxy didn’t waste any time rushing him out of the arena as soon as possible, leaving Olive and a few other family members straggling in the tunnel as they waited for their player to emerge from the locker room.

After a lengthy session of stalking her new friend’s ScuttleButter, the girl hadn’t even noticed the time had passed until she looked up, half an hour after the game ended, and she was the only one left in the long corridor. 

It would’ve been easy to just call him and ask where he was, but Olive knew better than to rush her meticulous, clinical partner. No doubt his after game decompressing was just as important as his quiet time before driving to the stadium or his lengthy at home stretching routine before his long days at practice. Lord forgive anyone who got in the way of him and his rituals. 

Her phone battery was nearly on the verge of dying when she got a notification from ESPN - Maybe she had an alert tone set for every time the topic”‘Logan Mitchell” trended, sue her - and one hundred different angles of the fight he and Heinrich got into earlier in the night flooded her vision. The clips should have made her gut wrench, but instead they made her stomach somersault, thinking of his final words to his opponent.

Not in front of my girl…

She sighed, audibly, like a schoolgirl laying on her bed, kicking her feet and giggling as she talked to her friends about her crush. 

“What’s that for?” Someone asked, and Olive nearly jumped out of her skin despite recognizing her boyfriend’s comforting voice almost immediately. Standing, leaning against the locker room door, his arms were crossed, gear set against the wall beside him, just watching her scroll through the clips. 

“Mitchell,” She chastised, poorly attempting to cover up her surprise and she locked her phone and placed it in her back pocket, slowly making her way toward him. The dim light in the tunnel was doing well to disguise the remnants of the fight on his face. “What did we say about surprises, jerk?” 

“Only to do it when I feel like messing with you?”

Immediately, she threw a punch to his shoulder, almost instantly regretting it as he let out a breath of pain, hand flying to cover the area she’d hit. “Jesus, you sure didn’t pull that one…”

Olive didn’t apologize, instead, she reached up to cup his face with both of her hands, feeling his cold cheeks against her warm fingertips, and pulled him into the kiss he’d requested ages ago. 

“You can take it, big boy. No matter how much you whine, I'm not playing doctor when we get home…”

Face falling in mock disappointment, he rolled his hurt arm before slinging it around her shoulders, picking his things up in the other hand and beginning to lead her out of the corridor. “Not even after my first pro-league fight?”

“Not after you embarrassed me in front of the entire Staples Center,” she shot back, leaning into his touch. “The video Roxy sent me of your stupid little stunt makes me want to beat you up too.”

His eyes lit up, “She got it on video? Ollie, you need to send it to me.”

“As if,” She scoffed in return, pulling her phone back out and feigning disinterest in continuing their conversation. “I’m too busy researching flights to Italy to do anything else.”

Brows knitting, the cool Los Angeles winter air hit the two of them as they made it out into the player’s reserved parking lot. “Italy…?”

Olive nodded, counting back from three in her mind until he froze, letting his hockey stick clatter to the black asphalt below. “She asked you? Before James asked me? God I’m going to wring his neck-”

“Easy, killer…” His girlfriend attempted to soothe, though she couldn’t bite back her smile as she teased, “Save that for when I’m living my Mamma Mia! dreams and you’re stuck here twiddling your thumbs.”

Cheeks crinkling, he sputtered out a whole bunch of nonsense as they climbed into the front and passenger seats of his sleek, silver BMW. All she caught was, “Three dudes… Wedding… Kill…” before she burst out into laughter and they drove off into the night, bruised hand in hand.

[millie-mar]

i think i’m in love with you

in which Eddie believes that gay men can be friends with straight guys without there being any subtext to their relationship. duh he’s got a friendship like that! well, had. guess he was proven wrong.

part 2

read part 1

a/n: soooo i think i’m in love with you won in the votes, therefore i deliver to you the rest of the story! in my head this is the finished product, but in near future i could probably write shorts of some adventures they have and parts of their journey :) also i wanted to thank everyone who voted, hope you enjoy 🫶🏻

| 1869 words | modern!steddie | bestfriend!steddie |

Our lips move in a rushed manner, but it’s nothing too heated. It’s more like we’re too scared to go too far, as if we’d cross the invisible line that exists between friends. Many friendships have kept going after kissing in the spur of the moment, and I’m sure our will too. This is just to prove him wrong. He can’t be in love with me and that’s what I’m showing him. Except, his hands let go of my face and take a trail down my neck, chest and to my hips, grabbing them with need. He pulls my body even closer to his, an involuntary moan escapes me and causes Steve to stop. I open my eyes slowly. His hair’s disheveled, lips spread, panting, and his eyes are focused on my face. I see nothing else but the warm brown oh his eyes, they’re sparkling in the darkness of my room. Our close proximity makes my heart flutter, as the smell of coffee and vanilla hovers in between us.

I open my mouth to speak when the sound of the main door opening breaks the silence. Gareth.

“Fuck.” I can feel my head spin as the realisation dawns upon me. I’m standing in my room with my best friend, chest to chest, breathing heavily, with a hard on. This is not a normal best friend behaviour. And I know Gareth will give me a handful if he catches us like this. I quickly grab Steve’s hand, taking him to my bed. I push him to sit down, and he looks up at me, blinking really fast, confusion written out on his face.

“Eddie, this is a bit-“ I cut him off with a finger on his lips.

“Gareth’s back,” I lean forward and whisper in his ear. “Now lay down, pretend you’re asleep and stay quiet. I’ll think of something.”

I straighten up, ready to walk away, but Steve grabs my hand. I send him a look that screams please just do it and that gets him to let go.

I leave the room, hearing Steve sigh and the shuffle on the bed as I close the door behind me. I let a tired sigh escape me and lean on the door. I feel someone’s eyes on me and look up to see Gareth staring me up, arms crossed.

“What’s up man.” His voice snarky.

“Fucks sake, Gareth. You a fucking rogue or something.” My comparison made him scoff.

“God you’re such a nerd.” These words make me want to throw an uno reverse card in his face but I stop myself, seeing the way his eyes stay on me, scanning my face. He always does that whenever he suspects I brought someone home. It’s our house rule; one night stands are not allowed. Gareth and Jonathan witnessed all of my ‘partners’ walks of shame and one day they said they had enough, too uncomfortable with the looks each one of the guys gave them. “Do you have anything to say?” he continues.

“About what?”

“Don’t play dumb Munson. You know our rule.” The annoyance in Gareth’s voice is quite intimidating. His usual grumpy demeanour is something I’m used to, because I know he’s not actually angry or upset. But right now is different. Gareth’s fed up.

“I do. And I’m not playing dumb. It’s just Steve.” I rub the back of my neck, awkward saying his name after what happened in my room. “He had a rough time with his dad. He’s napping in my room.”

Gareth sighs. “Eddie.” His tone shifted, worry filling his eyes. “Listen, I think we should have this conversation.”

“What conversation?” I take a tentative step back, conscious of the fact that Steve is not actually asleep in my bed. Plus the walls are quite thin, and who fucking knows what Gareth wants to talk about.

“You need to stop this whole Steve thing.” The words shock me, so unexpected but yet I kind of saw them coming. As if that makes sense.

“What do you mean? What thing?” I chuckle uncomfortably.

“The longing stares. The constant name mentions in any conversation we’re having. Your smiles when he messages you.”

I interrupt him before he goes any further. “We’re just friends. Best friends. Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I have to be in love with my guy best friend. That’s so stereotypical, I hate that kinda thing. It’s so stupid.” This time I crossed my arms, taking on a defensive stance and tone apparently. Gareth’s forehead is all wrinkly from how much he’s squinting his eyes.

“I never said anything about love,” he points out. And that shuts me up. I let my arms drop to my sides. Eyes wide, staring through Gareth’s head at nothing in particular. Shit. Fuck.

A loud thud erupts from my room, and a whine follows right after.

“Looks like princess’ awake.” Gareth walks off to the kitchen, hands in the pockets of his black jeans.

I sigh, take a deep breath and face the door. My hand reluctantly pulls the handle and the door opens to reveal Steve sitting the floor by the bed, arms on his knees, head down.

“Steve-“ Before I can finish, he stops me with his hand up.

“Eds, I’m gonna go now. There is a lot for you to think about. To be honest, I need to think a bit too. I- I’ll call you…” He stands up, and quickly pats my shoulder as he walks past me. The door shuts, I let a breath out that I didn’t even know I was holding. It’s going to be a long night.

A week has passed, no message or call from Steve came through on my phone. The third day after our talk I began to think that maybe the signal was fucked, but even when I went to town, I got nothing. The temptation to go and see him was overwhelmingly strong. At one point I even found myself walking down the road where his house is, but I stopped my stalker behaviour and went back home. He promised he’ll call, and I respect his boundaries.

This whole situation is so new for us. Ever since the day we were born, we never went through more than couple days without talking to each other; either through text, call or face to face, we have always talked at least once, twice a week. And I’m starting to feel the withdrawal. When I’m out, I think that every guy with slightly longer voluminous brown hair, an outfit straight from the 80s and a sporty build is Steve. I’m beginning to crave his company and saying I’m confused is an understatement. Gareth’s words have been running through my mind; longing stares, name mentions, my smiles. I hate to admit it but this literally sounds like something a high school teenager would do when they get a crush. Never in my dreams would I think that at the age of twenty would I act smitten. And it does feel weird to realise that, but God does it feel weirder to not act this way. I’m so used to being like that with Steve, it feels like my life is upside down now that I’m not stealing glances at his handsome face when he’s not looking my way. Or ‘accidentally’ looking at his ass when he’s walking up the stairs before me. Or playing with his hair when he’s asleep during our movie nights.

That’s when it hits me.

I get off my bed, grab my keys from the bedside table and dash out the door. I run past Gareth and Jon, grabbing my helmet and storm out the apartment. Their startled voices die down as the main door slams shut behind me. The rain’s heavy, making it harder to see anything in the darkness of the night, but it doesn’t stop me from making my way to my bike. The engine starts smoothly so I put the helmet on and ride off towards Steve’s house.

I manage to get there in ten minutes, which is awfully quick, especially when it’s pouring it down. I get off, completely soaked and leave my helmet on the bike. I run up the set of stairs to the front porch of Harrington’s house. It’s like im in a trance, each step is automatic and my fist hits the door as soon as I stop in front of it. Footsteps from within the house get louder and the door opens, revealing Steve Harrington himself. His hair is ruffled, each strand facing different direction. His eyes are slightly droopy, a clear pillow line imprinted on his cheek. He yawns and seems to finally realise I’m standing at the door as his eyebrows shoot up, eyes widen and his lips part, words stuck in his throat.

“I’m not in love with you,” I say quickly before he gets a chance to compose himself.

“What?”

“I’m not in love with you. I do love you Steve, but I’m not in love.” My breath hitches, so I close my eyes and inhale, trying to calm my heart. Steve’s just standing there, staring right into my eyes, waiting. “There is a part of my brain that you somehow occupy. Everyday I think about you. Your smile. Your cluelessness about everything I like. But also your willingness to learn. You always try to enjoy what I enjoy, but if you don’t you’re honest about it. And you’re so kind, and so hot. Like trust me I’m super attracted to you. Have been for a long time now. I’m pretty sure you were my gay awakening. Or maybe that was Brokeback Mountain. Well you definitely had your part in it.” Steve stops my waffling, shaking his head.

“I,” he pauses. “I don’t get it. Don’t get you.” His voice is shaking, and he puts his hand through his hair, bringing back the Steve hair everyone knows.

“I love you with all my heart. But a part of me doesn’t allow me to be in love with you. Doesn’t allow me to hurt you.” I sigh and Steve looks down at his mismatched basketball socks. “But…” His head shoots up, facing me once again, his eyes are sparkling like they were that night in my room. “I want to try. I need to try. For you. And for us.” I smile.

Steve comes out and wraps his arms around my neck, hiding his face in the crook of it. Wet drops fall on my skin and his body is shaking slightly. His heartbeat is faster, mine quickening up to match his pace. I return the hug, my hair dripping on him, his clothes slowly get wetter. But we don’t mind. We’re engrossed in the warmth of each other’s embrace.

“The past week was hard.” His voice rings in my ear, the warmth of his breath on my neck.

“Excruciating.” I add, leaning my chin on the top of his head. “It’ll be even harder from now on.”

“You know me.” Steve looks up to meet my gaze. Our heights are similar, but he’s slightly scrunched up against me. A smirk on his pretty lips. “I love a challenge.”

[the-cat-chat]

July 20, 2024

Cast Away (2000)

A FedEx executive undergoes a physical and emotional transformation after crash landing on a deserted island.

Warning: Review may contain spoilers. Read at your own risk.

JayBell: There are so many things about this movie that I love. The first part of the movie shows how much Tom Hanks' character is on the go go go. He's all about efficiency and productivity. Everything is on a schedule, even his personal life. At the same time, he's also a bit of a romantic.

It takes a while to build up to the big crash, but it's great for character building and raising the anticipation. The plane crash scene has pretty good special effects, even by today's standards.

I'm a big fan of survival movies, so I do love watching Tom Hanks' character make mistakes, learn, face setbacks, overcome obstacles. Having Wilson as a way for his character to bond with another "person" is so smart. Although it is strange to be sad about a man's relationship with a volleyball, it's done so well. You really feel like Wilson is the only thing keeping his character sane.

Usually with movies like this, it ends when they get "rescued." I like that they show some of his character's adjustment back into society. (the seafood dinner with food carelessly leftover, the lighter, the too soft mattress, him guzzling water from a bottle).

I only have a few gripes about this movie. One, why are there zero animals or bugs on the island? Yes, there are fish. But nothing else at all? Even a small scene of him killing a bug or chasing off an animal would be cool.

And second, I do think his girlfriend moves on a bit too fast, especially without the closure of his recovered body. If you do some of the math, she basically "grieves" for like 6 months or so, and some of those months were spent still trying to find him. I agree that they shouldn't get back together in the end, but I my brain couldn't help but do the math at the same time.

But I do feel like the ending fits. Now, Tom Hanks' character isn't on a schedule, he doesn't have a plan, which is so different from how he treated life in the beginning of the movie. And I like how the angel artist lady is included throughout the movie before finally appearing at the end, as if it was "meant to be."

P.S. RIP Wilson

P.P.S. I couldn't help but notice as he drives in the final scenes of the movie, he has a brand new Wilson. What on earth is he planning to do? Create a new Wilson with a face and talk to it and carry it around in society? Use it for volleyball? Doesn't that seem disrespectful? idk

Rating: 7.5/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: As this is my second time writing this review bc obviously the universe hates me and disagrees with my opinion on this ammmazing movie, this will be scathing. I hated it I don’t even wanna be nice anymore. I thought it was funny how Tom Hanks was obsessed with time and then forced to be on an island where time really is an illusion. I like the start when he’s still running fedex (totally thought he was ups but whatever) and the plane crash was really well done for the time and then when he’s on the island I start getting peeved. Has this mannnnn ever seen Naked and Afraid. Where’s the fire- it took him so long. He should’ve been a Boy Scout. Uggg. And the knocking his own tooth out. I’m triggered. And loosing Wilson. Lame. He so could got him. This is like Jack and Rose all over again.

And now my reallllll problem. I will not ever be able to watch Helen Hunt again. Okkk. So this guy that gives you a ring the last time you saw him on Christmas right as he’s boarding a plane that will crash- is stuck on an island for 4 years. Ok - Her kid is 2 years old - it takes 9 months to make a baby- ok so we’re already back in time where there’s 1 year and 2 months when she could’ve been hung up over him- soooo in the year following his disappearance- say she waited a month or two for them to find him- okkk we’re at a year grieved another 2 months- quick but okkkkkk met his Root Canal Dentist- which wowwwww- had a wonderful romance so in like 8/10 months after he was missing- I’m sooo sorry she got over him being missing grieved and dated and married this guy would is literally her fiancé nemesis and had a kid wayyyyy to quick. I mean I do t think I ever did anything so quick in my life everrrr. And I still can’t look at Chris Noth. I’m done. For my sanity I have to be. None of the math makes sense to read but you get it. After 2 months??? I think I’ve been dedicated to listening to a song on repeat longer than that.

I am glad he had his little friend to come back to- and I did like the whole angel wings artist lady plot but that veers to unhealthy kinnnnnda???

Rating: I can’t- it had 4/10- but for my mental health now it’s a 2/10 Crabs 🦀

[icedhotcocoa]

hello mo my dearest and most bestest friend in the whole wyde world. do you have any zhannapauling takes. ive been thinin gabbout women and i love them so mcuh

WOMEN…

ok weird hc to start with but admin hates this relationship SOOOO much. mostly because pauling makes time for zhanna (re: zhanna forcibly makes time for herself) and it’s killing her productivity so she comes up with increasingly more cartoonishly villainous ways to split them apart

it never works

zhanna also comes along on jobs (mostly hits). she can help she loves to help

sometimes she fully almost kills just like the wrong guy and Pauling has to be like HOLD ON HOLD ON HOLD ON. and then zhanna gives her big puppy eyes and Pauling just sighs and is like ok you did a good job thank you

zhanna is, of course, a very jealous lover. regularly threatens to beat the shit out of scout but pauling talks her down.

“yes yes I love you, you’re the only woman for me. yes I know he has no muscles and is an uncooked spaghetti stick of a man. you’re right sweetie he would never survive in the russian wilderness like you and he’s probably terrible in bed. now can you please release him from the chokehold I’m going to get in so much trouble if he dies”

PAULING IS THE MOST TAKE-HOME-ABLE GF. zhanna’s mom fucking LOVES HER and is always like how come you and that nice young woman never come to visit me. and she always sends them sweaters and cookies and shit and zhanna is so proud

ms pauling is my favorite genre of “seems normal but is actually insane” and has not dated in a while so her idea of romance is like deeply flawed. but it’s ok because zhanna’s idea of romance is even more deeply flawed.

“PAULING! come bear wrestling with me for one year anniversary” “…OH MY GOD YES! I thought you would never ask!” and then they have a lot of fun and ms pauling is like giggling the whole time

Also pauling gives zhanna rides on her motorcycle and zhanna thinks it’s the sexiest thing ever

[a-trick-or-two-with-lepers]

A Decidedly Unserious Review of Hair 2001 (ft. Drew Sarich)

I’m back for another lunatic review. This time: the 2001 recording of Hair: The American Tribal Love-Rock Musical. This is so silly. I literally decided to do this like two hours ago because @peppi-mint wanted to hear my thoughts on it. Well, peppi, prepare to get an earful because I had some THOUGHTS

(I’m so sorry)

Aquarius- um. This is literally so cool. The hip-hop beat sets the tone, which is vastly different from every Hair recording I’ve heard. And then the violins come in and it’s like YOOOOO. And then the broadway singing comes in and it’s like YOOOOOOOOOOO! And then the dissonant harmonies hit and it’s like YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I really like this. Very different and fresh and new and Y2K in the best way. I can’t stress how fucking amazing those harmonies sound.

Donna- Ok, Drew!! Give us that punk-rock energy! The electric guitar sound is really neat, and I kinda dig the reverb as well as the way Sarich sings most of the lines straight intentionally. Whereas the harmonies were highlighted in the last song, they act more as a part of the orchestra in this song, but it still feels full and tasteful. Really enjoying this so far.

Hashish- I’ve literally always skipped “Hashish.” It’s boring to me. I’m a sober loser. But THIS?! What are they doing to my boring hashish!! The instrumentation is so experimental and interesting to listen to. I like that the cast isn’t going over the top with the vocals, too. They’re supposed to be high, so going full belt and vibrato isn’t really the vibe.

Sodomy- I’m literally Debbie Reynolds-ing right now. This guy’s voice has me biting my lip for real. Catch me joining the Holy Orgy ™ any day of the week.

Colored Spade- This production is obviously informed heavily by black music. Which makes this song slightly more comfortable to listen to. I can’t really speak on it though- I’m white. All I can say is: it’s a bop. Also, the second half?? So fucking groovy. Yes I’m using that word unironically. It’s a good word.

Manchester England- Stripped down acoustic guitar… mkay I can get with that. Makes the full orchestration pop out more. Loving these glam rock vocals from Kyrre Kvam.

I’m Black- It was literally 22 seconds long and sounded like a car commercial with that fade in and fade out I’m lmao 😭Where’s my Ain’t Got No?!?!?!?

Dead End- Ok so I rarely hear this one in any recorded productions. I’ve only ever really heard it in college production bootlegs I watch on Youtube. This version has me saying WHY DID THEY REMOVE IT?!? It’s seriously so good. 

Air- The vocal affectation that Jeannie usually has tends to annoy me, which I guess is intentional, but I’m glad it’s more toned down here. The industrial sound of the instruments clashes with the light and breezy vocals in a really fascinating way. It’s like a big burly man wearing a flowery perfume. Thumbs up from me. 

I Got Life- Teehee if you take out your left earbud you get an a capella intro 🤭Anyway, I always love this song. This version is no exception. Treat Williams is still top, tho (Rest in Peace, King). 

Hair- The titular bitchular! (-Athena P on YT). Something about the way the sound is split between each ear in the intro (vocals in one ear, guitar in the other) is ticking me off. That’s just me, though. Overall, this sounds so fucking good and it’s such a vibe. I’m not sure if it’s Kvam or Sarich who hits those high notes but they hit, man.

My Conviction- Hehehehehe this sounds so out of place I love it. (It’s supposed to- just like Herod’s song in JCS)! Also how are these vocals from a man?? They aren’t my favorite but they sound soooo much like a woman that’s crazy. Anyway gender is fake

Easy To Be Hard- Um. Can we say elegant? Can we say… mystical? GORGINA?!? BRO when the,,, fuck what is it, a marimba or some shit comes in with that overarching angelic tone- fuuuuuucccckkkkk. So good. Also the shaker keeping the beat tastes good. I can taste this song. It tastes like a capri-sun on a hot day. I’m in love. Hold up- added verse? Why haven’t I heard this-

Frank Mills- Awwwwww this is cute. I like this woman’s voice. Very smooth and nice to listen to. What I’m noticing so far about this album is that they treat each song like it’s its own person, you know? Like- every tune sounds coherent and like it belongs, but it also sounds like its own thing with its own special instrumentation. It’s just. So neat.

Be In - Hare Krishna- The speaker shifting got me like 🫠so good. It’s like ASMR. Another thing I’m noticing about the ensemble vocals is that they’re so… earnest? They aren’t worn like clothing, they’re like a part of the individual. ... Any arrangement that can make me describe music like this deserves the world.

Where Do I Go- Fuck. I just love arrangements that do something new. This sound is so clean and genuine and beautiful. If I could insert John Savage’s vocals into this it would be perfect (No shade to Kvam- I just love the movie version of this song so much). This is probably my favorite song from the musical (I literally wrote a 30k+ word fanfiction based on its lyrics), and I’m sooooo utterly pleased with this interpretation of it. All I’ll say is that the end could’ve been a bit louder/more intense- it is an Act I closer, after all. More drums, please!

Electric Blues- TELL ME WHOOOOOO DO YOU LOVE MAN! *guitar* Ermmm I love Electric Blues I love it. I wanna inject this song into my bloodstream. This version doesn’t stray too much from the original, and it slaps. Always does. Also I just realized this came out before the Broadway revival. I wonder if the revival folks took a bit of inspo from this version 🤔

Black Boys- ATE AND LEFT NO CRUMBS (I love the staccato guitar chords, offbeat, percussion, tonal shift during the solo represented by the instrumentation, and just everything else about this).

White Boys- My eyes literally rolled to the back of my skull during that intro. So good!! So tasty! Also these VOCALS! Less energy than the others I’ve heard, but that’s not a criticism. It’s more reminiscent of the original cast recording. Once again, ATE AND LEFT NO CRUMBS. 🍽️

Walking in Space- dodo do do dodo dooooooo. (guitar). Again, the vocalists aren’t overdoing it, which is working. I’ll probably smoke marijuana to this song at some point. Looking forward to it. Also when she sang “ 🎶floooooooaaating, flipping, flyyyyyying, tripping 🎶” I was like 😶‍🌫️(that’s me floating flipping flying tripping). . I want to consume these vocals

The War- Don’t think I’ve heard this one in any other production? It definitely fits the vibe they’re going for. I’d love to know the context for it. Eh, actually, I think I can guess...

Three-Five-Zero-Zero- Listening to this is making me realize how important the bass guitar is as an instrument. Songs would sound so much less full without its constant, droning presence. Also, I would’ve loved to see them lean even further into the experimental vibe for this one so that the tonal shift would sound more stark. Regardless, it all sounds really good. Love the harmonies, especially at the end.

Good Morning Starshine- I have a poster of these three words in my room. Also, I like this version of the song. Very 2001. Kinda reminds me of that song “Walking on Sunshine,” similar vibes. Not my favorite version, but still a bop and very fun. 

The Flesh Failures/Eyes Look Your Last- Guitar is so yummy. I don’t like the chorus singing the first part. I’m just too used to it being a soloist or Claude. Also, it feels kinda too fast? Sorry, I have ridiculously high standards for this song. I think it’s one of the best songs ever written. Given that fact, it’s hard to fuck it up. So, this sounds really good still, obviously. Just didn’t hit quite as hard for me. I feel like they tried so hard to make every other song sound unique and they dropped the ball a bit here. It sounds like they’re trying to just get it over with… which is very contradictory to the song’s message. Also, why isn’t “Let the Sunshine In” a part of the title? Seems kinda important 😬

Hippie Life- …huh?

Aquarius (Bonustrack) - director’s cut- It’s the remix 😎

Overall, I was really impressed by this album. I’m glad I took a listen. It seems like a very approachable version of the controversial musical. I think it’d be a good album to show friends that aren’t into musicals but should still get to enjoy Hair. Some choices weren’t my style, but I’m genuinely so astounded and excited by others. Act I was better than Act II. Drew Sarich was great, and so was the rest of the cast. Ultimately, a very cool take on one of my favorite musicals of all time. Thanks again to @peppi-mint for recommending this to me- I’m so happy I got to do another silly little stream-of-consciousness musical review!

[shewantsitall]

I got triple bingo but the boys lost in heartbreaking fashion and I’m so sad for them.

Not to be dramatic or anything but it rlly does make me just so so sad.

It’s just a game. I know it’s just a game. I’m not even that upset about the result for the sake of the result (we are out of playoff contention for now though)

But I’m sad for the guys.

They played so fucking hard. They looked the best they have all summer. There was fire and drive and soooo much effort.

And there was PRODUCTION. Like. Three good team goals, a ton of huge saves from the goalie. Cool heads given the circumstances.

And for what? For a crooked ass center referee to call the whole game based on the other team’s coach and to hand out a million cards to the good guys while not even calling a foul when the bad guys defender literally booted our striker in the face??????

And then of course there was The Fight. There’s no real video or record of what happened, but from the audio broadcast, guys from both sides were involved and SOMEHOW our team came out with 3 reds (2 second yellows, one straight red… one of the second yellows was to a guy who jumped of the bench to defend his teammate) and the other team got A Yellow Card.

Our very mindful, very demure head coach got a fucking yellow card bc came out of his box trying to break it up since it was directly in front of the bench and the refs were just gonna let them go at it. But the other team’s coach flew out of his box to celebrate before the final whistle and didn’t get a card.

Anyway it was 3-3 but playing two men down when the other team is playing with 15 (their 11 plus 4 refs) is less than equitable and after the kerfuffle one slipped through in the 99th minute. Fucked up.

Fireworks after a loss, esp such an ugly one, are just. Sad.

I love my post game high fives after a win. They’re so fun. All joy. Love the city, love the club, love the team. It’s special to have a pro team that’s so connected to the fans. But the post game hand slaps after loss are Important. Bc at least a third of the crowd cleared after the game was over and the wall was looking Empty. So I scampered myself down there to tell them they did a good job. Bc. They did. They played their lil hearts out. And idk I think that’s something to be proud of.

Anyway. Next week’s game is against one of the best teams in the league (statistically speaking) and we get to go in without our starting striker, starting right winger and a real good national team cap having substitute. Bc they’re all suspended.

But ykw? I’m going to be there. I’m going to cheer them on so hard. I’m going to take people with me and they’re gonna cheer too. Yay team.

[bisluthq]

Thank god Saoirse isn’t online because if she saw the tradwife content she would probably become one 😭

I actually really doubt that because again I relate to her a lot in her current situation lol. I mean obviously she was historically a lot more accomplished than Jack but my partner and I have a bigger age gap than them and tbh when he was in his 20s he was less accomplished than I was in my 20s so if we’d met then it would’ve been the same as with them (without either of us being worth 7 figures but still). He studied film and communications and then worked as a cameraman but he hated it and then he worked as a production assistant which he hated because he had to listen to idiots and then worked his way up to produce commercials for a while and haaated that and then because he’d always been into tech and shit, he got into editing actually while producing like he started fiddling with what people were doing and has done that since and went on to bigger projects and is legit great at it but he started in his 30s with no real formal training lol. He also loves it and works a looooot.

Whereas I’ve just done random shit lol but a lot of random shit and often very well paying random shit until I got with him and now I do like… enough stuff to hold up my end of what we have agreed on when that’s been agreed upon.

I’d love to write a book but I’m soooo lazy lol.

I don’t want to be a trad wife though and I’ve been extremely annoyed when people/friends have suggested I’m anywhere close to that lol because like I legit am not and that’s not our vibe. He just likes his job more than I like working and in our case he’s older so ergo has more money than me in savings + he’s a Western white guy so had inheritances come in so 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ doesn’t mean I don’t hold up my end of the bargain or don’t want to work or that he pays me an allowance to exist or anything lol. Like we split chores pretty evenly depending on who’s working more (he does have breaks between projects and I sometimes have like projects that are FT so then he has to do more around the house because I’m physically not there and that’s cool with us both right because it all evens out) and we both always contribute financially. But also yes he obviously pays more monthly than I do.

and fwiw when Jack and Saoirse started just realistically she would’ve had to pay more so 💀😂

If anything like Jack is what I wish my ex was like - I wish she’d discovered a passion for work and making money while we were together so I could do EXACTLY WHAT I DO NOW lol but she didn’t until we’d broken up 🙄

also I probably should write a book.

but neither Sersh nor I are tradwives 😂

if anything Taylor might one day try to cosplay as one but she’d fail harder than Sersh or I would after a single week because of her personality.

[kohiandie]

Hiya! I’m not really sure where to look for this info (sources I’ve found conflict with each other), and I’ve bought keychains from your Etsy store before so you may know? Are artists allowed to sell fan merch on Etsy, or is that some kind of copyright issue? How are you doing it? I’m a beginner artist and I eventually want to open my own shop but I’m a bit intimidated lol

soooo, it's a bit of a loaded question, haha. we have a lot of experience with etsy, their copyright system, customer service, etc.

technically, etsy does not allow the sell of any kind of intellectual property that belongs to someone else. before, they used to mostly just ding on listings that had trademark names in the titles, but now, a lot of the copyright strikers are going through and looking at listing photos, at the actual content of what people are selling.

so -- it leaves a lot of artists kind of in a complicated spot.

when it comes to the copyright strikers, i can give you (some) good news from actually communicating with some of them, including 'remove your media', which was one of the biggest copyright strikers for anime merch in particular. (art & merch for books has been totally fine on our end!)

remove your media is no longer working on etsy to strike down most anime merch. that's franchises like berserk, nge, jojo, & more that are basically free to sell their merch now. that being said, we are aware they are still working with viz media -- they've striked down our one piece stuff, for example.

about a year ago, we had a huuuuge mishap with etsy shutting down our main shop. they gave us several copyright strikes and we actually went ahead and contacted the copyright striker (remove your media) to resolve it. the guy was actually super, super nice & said that because they're mostly targetting bootleg / dropshipping shops & because he really loved our cause (ie. the rescue), that he would let us continue to sell our work, even if it was technically copyrighted. companies like his own are basically hired by funimation, viz, crunchyroll, etc. to strike down copyrighted / trademarked material across the internet -- etsy, amazon, & more.

so, he contacted etsy directly and got all our strikes removed, got all our listings put back up. we gave him all our listing numbers and he whitelisted them with his company.

it was a super, super kind thing of him to do but! periodically, a strike would still happen, we would email him, he would get it put back up. even with this system in place, though, etsy went ahead and still shut down our shop. :- ) it was a whooooooooole horrible mess. most of our income at the time was coming from etsy because they have SUCH a good marketplace. one thing i will give etsy that is so integral to growth: they get your art & products out there.

unfortunately, that was as much as the copyright guy could do for us and we just basically kept fighting etsy for about a year, until they finally decided to give us our shop back because it was apparently shut down "accidentally".

this is the mess that is etsy:

i think i'll always recommend them for getting your name & art out there, but it's particularly hard for people making merch from existing franchises right now, so tread very carefully! if you get one strike, take down all your trademarked merch ASAP so you don't get multiple & don't get shut down on a whim by etsy.

etsy is mostly functioning on ai. they don't have many real people working behind their customer service or even the bots that shut down people's stores, so every day, tons of people get their stores shut down completely for no fault of their's, trademarked merch or not.

SO ESSENTIALLY: while etsy is a fantastic base for growth & actually making some income off your art, i absolutely recommend investing in other ways to make it as well. make your own shop front / website via squarespace or shopify or bigcartel to have on the side with all the same products. send business cards in all your packages with your socials & main site. DO NOT COUNT ON ETSY or RELY on them for your main source of income, because they are totally unstable and it could really bite you in the ass (like it did us) at some point.

i really hope that didn't make your thoughts worse LOL i know you mentioned being intimidated but alas, artists really do have it rough OTL we're all just out here trying to get our work seen.

ps. i have receipts & proof of communication but for the sake of not wanting to get anyone in trouble that wanted to do something nice for us, i'm not going to be naming anyone / posting them here!

[evanpetersbuttocks]

for me actually the only real real problem is that evan didn’t even mention the victims in his speech

his «  i hope something good come out of this » wasn’t enough.

i know that he’s not for sure a militant like he’s not that celebrity who will use his voice and makes clear positions on societal subjects/ issues like misogyny, racism, politic, abortion… ( i don’t know if i’m explaining myself right bc i’m french and my english is so poor since i entered university 😭😭 )

and that not like other actors, he wouldn’t have done a powerful speech talking about the inequality and i don’t know why he decides to enter this project even though it was so touchy and difficult, he could have said that he wanted to perform this role to put in image how much the police was and actually IS deficient bc of racism in Usa. this would have been amazing i think. not just amazing bc it was socially acceptable to say that and to be perceive as the cool white activist boy but it would have give a meaning behind his participation to the serie instead of just having « like the script » or whatever he said to justify his participation.

i saw someone on tumblr who was defending evan and who was saying that basically making this serie and the fact that the victim family didn’t respond like now they should shut up …

i just have to say something just put yourself in their shoes not in their shoes but in their forever broken heart and life…

being murder by a psychopath isn’t the same as being taken by disease or an accident

i don’t know where is humanity in some of this evan fandom, where are the emotions.

this is what was lacking in ev speech some emotions about the serie and the victim who were real people

i know that his speech was meant to be professional and actually centered about cinema and you know the producing instead of trying to be an activist speech. but i understand why tony’s mom was angry about him not saying anything about all the victims 🤡 ryan murphy and all of them werent really shy while filming dahmer and using all the real names of the victims.

was that too much maybe to have included all those names in his speech ? or would have been so hard to reverse all his money to the family’s ? hes already a millionaire… you wanted to do it for the thrill and the passion of acting then okay but left the money ( and you all don’t come after me telling me why would give the family money would change anything ) to those whose murders are allowing you to gain money

why him and not the others ? all the others actually but the ryan murphy since the beginning you can see he didn’t care

it’s « his money » yes maybe but if those murders wouldn’t exist this money won’t be his,

it’s not on him only hum…. the amount of money received by netflix and his production lol but i think by playing the « main character » of this serie he should have took the first step and made this decision as a genuine decision.

like hello guys i’m giving all of my pay to the victim family, it may but bring back your lost ones but it’s not my money. i was just in this serie to help put in image all this deep racism problem linked to policy and also bc i knew this role will be really hard to perform but i don’t want and need this money.

it may cost you money but you know at least you’re not perceived as a white privileged actor who is still enjoying selfishly and gaining money on racism murders on the black/minor community.

i’m just questioning all of it hum 🤨

it’s just my opinion as a black woman

pls don’t attack me lol

i still love evan and i was soooo happy for him for his victory

thanks for such a big text and for taking the time to write this, dw, i understood you perfectly. and of course, i’ll not attack, because it is written respectfully. my appeal was rather to those who, without arguing their position, immediately and categorically humiliated evan, without considering both sides in their text. i agree with you in some way, if you search somewhere below on my account, i wrote my complaint about the series itself and it seemed incorrect to me to come to the victims’ house, ask their hard stories and just leave. i agree that this part should have been given more attention, and to be honest, the thought “he didn’t say anything about the victims and their families” flashed through my head at the end, it’s true. i was rather infuriated by the fact of the flow of uncontrolled shit that poured out on him, which caused a response in me. it’s just how people get their thoughts across. undoubtedly, forgetting about families and victims is unacceptable. i would say that evan himself is awkward at speeches, not very talkative, and very nervous, but as a ukrainian citizen (which i am) who himself faces death almost every day, this would be a strange excuse - he needed to say more and try to focus on respect and emphasize it. it just upsets me how people throw themselves with fire without controlling their emotions. of course, all people are different, i understand this very well, but evan seems far from the worst person to be so humiliated and even go so far as to cancel him, as i saw it. and it hurts to see such aggressive comments while much tougher people get more understandings

[metallteeff]

still thinking about this tweet i saw this morning that was like guys petscop is bad bc the creator based it off a real case and like yea that was shitty. we shouldn’t let him forget he fucked up with that but then people were all like this is why i never liked petscop petscop is soooo bad and i’m just kind of like. okay.

like you guys realize really impactful art can have shitty production behind it or like be hard to consume right. idk this isn’t about what tony did or like defending him it jisy very much seemed like i’m going to hate this thing now bc of this fucked up thing in its production and it was clear the ppl saying that really had never watched petscop idk

[starjxsung]

Missing you all the time <333 We're all here for you Star - I can't imagine what it's like to go through something like that - please be kind to yourself as you recover and know that it's not your fault !! and even if things don't seem to be getting better or it's going slow, be patient with yourself and remember that we all love you so much regardless of how you feel youre doing and want you to take all the time you need <3 It really does suck that vile people exist and I pray that you stay safe <333 How is the rest of life? Work? Hobbies? Cat??? As for me... SUMMER YAAAAA and yesss making BANK!!! I have a bit of time off before the speech arts academy opens for summer and I'll be working two weeks full time in July!!! More money!!! (I need it cause I'm saving up for my first tattoos!!! I have enough saved up ... but like, it's always nice to have more money for security ... esp as a uni student...) and YES hehe South Africa... I had so much fun learning and birding and ID plants and collecting data - my prof is amazing and said I was one of the best students despite being the youngest hehe (a total ego boost) and im hoping to go back in the future with his support to do research on scholarship!!! and the hook up was certainly unexpected... it was mostly based on a deep emotional connection and being similar people despite having vastly different life experiences if that makes sense (but also, he's hot like 6ft and like alsjdfkjd idk how i managed to pull him but as he said himself... I got that 'tism rizz 😎). we probably wont be entering anything committed and probably reeling things back to a close friendship b/c our lives are pretty different. BUT hes a great person and im really glad I met him. (we're having a studio ghibli day this week!) WAHHH STAR ILY SOOOO MUCH thank YOU for being there and being such a light ✨🌟💖 I will continue to pop in every so often - however, summer is looking HECTIC with work and family trips... BUT I WILL UPDATE YOUUUUU!!! Please take care ily ily 💕💕💕 🌱

I love you I love you I am making mental note of your words and keeping them in all 4 chambers of my heart foreverrrrr 💓🤞👼

LIFE IS GOOD….. work has been insaaaaanely busy for me these past few weeks and I’m literally so exhausted I can barely even stay awake on my phone sometimes. so I either crash super early or stay up until like 5am. there’s no in between (it’s literally 5am right now RAHHH) hobbies are good TOO (spoiler alert it’s writing) and my cat is doing better than ever (just as spoiled and insane as ever) so things are feeling a little more back to normal !!! now that I’m back at my apartment I’m w my kpop stuff again and my family and everything feels good <3 I’m so excited to publish stuff again soon and get on main blog at some point

MY GOSHHHH YOUR SUMMER SOUNDS SO BUSY I AM SO EXCITED FOR U THO…… where are you working in July??? I hope it all goes well also UR FIRST TATTOOOOOOOS GASP I AM SO EXCITED TO SEE THEM EVENTUALLY

I’m so so so glad South Africa was so memorable and productive!! It sounds like you got so much done (in more ways than one LMAO) and I’m manifesting so hard you can go back for research on scholarship!!!! not surprised at all that you were the best student bc ofc you were. you lil smartie 🤓💓

Ahhhh I’m glad you guys seem to be going about it in such a healthy way!! It’s not easy to admit when you’re on a different path from somebody you’re super into but it sounds like you guys have great communication with each other and I’m glad you’re staying good friends 🫶 also studio ghibli day YESSSSSS I love all the ghibli themed dates in the summertime like it’s the most wholesome sneaky link activity out there

I LOVE YOU SOOOO SOSOSO MUCH I LOOK FORWARD TO MY UPDATES WHENEVER YOU CAN PROVIDE THEM RAHHH I LOVE YOU SWEET ANGEL 🤞💘💞🫶💓👼 take care of yourself !!!!!!!!!

[birdy-babe]

I agree with both of you guys and I’m so happy this post is leading to discussions like these.

I want to add onto both of these posts above with two things: I agree that Blitzo is making steps to better himself and I agree that Stolas is also trying to better himself (and he deserves credit for that) but there’s problems in how Stolas is doing it.

Whereas in Apology Tour we see Blitzo trying to have this discussion with Stolas and he’s actively telling Stolas he was wrong, he did these things because he was insecure, that he feels badly for hurting Stolas. Stolas is angry and doesn’t listen very well which is arguably valid? because he’s allowed to be angry from that morning: but if Stolas wants to better their relationship he will have to learn to listen.

Stolas is angry because Blitzo didn’t just say yes and fall into his arms, like he wanted. Stolas’s main flaw in the series is his selfishness including the way he try’s to impose this fantasy idea of a perfect relationship on Blitzo. So when Blitzo instead reacted badly to his confession and (although not in the most productive way) voiced his concerns, Stolas got angry and took that stuff personally. When it was never actually about how Stolas treated him, it was about how Blitzo felt treated.

I don’t blame Stolas for the way he acted that night necessarily, he was being yelled at, it was high tension, he was feeling rejected- but I feel like in Apology Tour, while Blitzo was reflecting on their fight/relationship and acknowledging his mistakes - Stolas wasn’t. Stolas never considered that he did anything wrong, he hasn’t yet reflected on what Blitzo said has chosen instead to just villianify Blitzo.

But there’s still so much time! We are halfway through season 2 of a 4 season show- it would be soooo boring if everything was wrapped up in a pretty bow right now. Relationships take time and growth and effort and I think we will eventually see that from both sides. I’m simply just reflecting on where things stand now.

I just think Blitzo deserves more credit.

Also I think you’re absolutely correct with Stolas definitely taking steps to make things better- inviting him in after Ozzie’s, the way he gave Blitzo the crystal being the best example

But I fear that Stolas is trying to make their relationship better from his perspective. He taking steps to just get Blitzo to love him / be with him without actually listening to Blitzo or taking steps to help Blitzo as a person.

I think Blitzo knows he needs to better himself before entering a serious relationship, especially with someone like Stolas who he loves so much. But stolas is upset that Blitzo isn’t that person right now. He wants someone who will stand in the rain and shout “Harriet! Don’t get on that train!” - but Blitzo isn’t that person, at least not right now. He’s too broken and insecure. And Stolas… Stolas doesn’t recognize that.

Stolas makes these moves in hopes that Blitzo will just fall into his arms, and when Blitzo doesn’t- he just shuts down.

I think his next step in development is really thinking about why

And in Blitzo’s next step (which he’s already started in Apology tour) is voicing these things in a productive way. Being honest to better communicate the why

And I think we will be seeing so much more of this in the next three episodes bc don’t forget about this bad boy:

No one has ever thought about Blitzo's perspective and I think that's the problem: a tiny analysis/essay

I was rewatching season 2 episode 6 when something kind-of rubbed me the wrong way, and it was how Fizzarolli described the fire.

He states:

And I'm a fizz lover- dont get me wrong- and I understand he was angry and obviously not in the correct mindspace at this point in time-

But this type of comment seems so unfair considering how unfair the circus life for Blitzo was. He mentions how he's angry at Blitzo for being jealous of him- but he never addresses why Blitzo is jealous. Fizz has never (on screen) addressed or even acknowledged how unfairly Blitzo's father treated him and how Blitzo had it harder in life because of that.

I feel like it would hurt so much if your best friend was so blatantly favored by your own father, the father that abused you (I think selling your kid and forcing them to steal without a care for the child's safety counts as abuse), and your best friend never acknowledged that situation and held your jealousy against you?

Barbie does a similar thing on a more extreme level, only thinking about how the accident, the fire, losing their mother, was hard FOR HER. And if you look at Barbie, she doesn't really seem to have any scars (besides on her tail, and the tattoos on her body). Therefore we can assume that Blitzo sustained more physical injuries than her - in addition to losing their mother. Yet its all about how hard it is for her.

So far no one in the series has really ever looked past Blitzo's hard persona and think about maybe why he does the things that he does.

this obviously results in Blitzo blaming himself for the fire- besides the one "You have no idea what I lost in that fire" Blitzo never ever brings up how hard the fire was for him. He never ever allows sympathy to be directed his way in relation to the accident, not from himself or anyone around him. He's convinced he's the monster, the villain of the story. It's why, every single time the fire is brought up, he is solely focused on apologizing, on taking the blame, taking the blows from Fizz/Barbie. He never defends himself. Never once does he try to seek any comfort for himself, not once does he make it about him.

My problem is that everyone lets him.

Everyone sits back and watches as he takes the blows for everything. As if its all his fault. They place the blame on Blitzo because its easier, easier than acknowledging Blitzo's pain too.

Which brings me to Stolas.

In this current Stolas situation, where Stolas goes wrong is by repeating this same behavior that Blitzo was faced with when it came to Barbie and Fizz after the accident. Something happened, people were hurt, Blitzo was hurt, Stolas was hurt- but of course it's all Blitzo's fault - it's always Blitzos fault. Stolas takes very little blame for what happened, even though he very much is equally to blame as is Blitzo.

Also note here: Blitzo has his flaws and he does make mistakes that he needs to take responsibility for. This is not to say he is 100% innocent, he's just not 100% to blame either.

Its always Blitzo who needs to apologize, Blitzo who ruined the relationship, Blitzo who broke Stolas' heart, Blitzo who ruined Barbie's life, Blitzo who destroyed Fizz. This pattern happens so much that Blitzo's turned it into a core belief: when something bad happens, he's at fault. He's the reason behind all the bad things that happen. He's the common denominator.

Which is how we got to today: he doesnt believe he deserves love, sympathy, or comfort: because he believes hes the sole cause for all this pain: therefore why should he feel happiness when all he does is take other's away? Why should he allow himself to be loved by Stolas when he hurt Barbie so badly? When he ruined Barbie's chances at love? At a good life?

It's like he's constantly punishing himself for something he thinks he's responsible for. He thinks he deserves to be miserable as some sort of pay-back for ruining everyone's lives.

And you can see as he desperately tries to act the opposite now. It's subtle, because he has to keep up his hard exterior, but its there.

Every single one of his relationships (besides those from childhood) were created because he wanted to help. Adopting Loona to help her escape foster care, befriending Moxxie and helping him escape the abuse of his father and the mafia, befriending Millie (which we don't know their back story yet but i assume he also helped her out of a bad hole, maybe by offering her a position at IMP? We will see!).

I just think he doesnt get the credit he deserves.

I think if just one person acknowledged what happened to Blitzo, allowed Blitzo to be vulnerable, allowed him to express his feelings, allowed him to grieve and mourn the things that happened to him: he would be able to move on, and improve.

It's even worse that some of the people who are the worst offenders are also the ones to claim they love him. Verosika, Stolas, Fizz, etc. They like him for the fake persona he puts up. This enforced Blitzo's belief that he must repress things, that they wont love him if he were anyone else- if he showed his true scars and trauma and if he showed how soft he really is. They love him for his fake persona, not really for him.

So he lashes out. He's shitty. He pushes them away.

And when he does let some of that vulnerability slip? He's shit on for it. When he expresses it to Fizz, Fizz covers up his words with "Glad you could admit it, want a medal?" The only small reprieve Blitzo got was when Fizz said "I guess you didn't really ruin my life."

When he expresses it to stolas "Treat me like one of your butler imps!" Stolas's response is "You think that little of me?"

Which isnt an invalid response point to bring up (and definitely needs to be addressed, which I think Blitzo is getting to bc he's becoming very aware of his other shortcomings), but at the same time Stolas has the responsibility of thinking about why Blitzo would think that. Stolas has never really listened to Blitzo when Blitzo doesnt fit into this mold that Stolas made up of him. When Blitzo gets angry and expresses how Stolas makes him feel:

"Dont act like this is anything more than you wanting me to fuck you" "You can't just throw this feelings bullshit on me" "give me a second to think!" "Oh, sorry, this entire time I assumed the worst because I was convinced a prince could never love someone like me and I've let my self hatred stop me from apologizing to anyone I could ever care about!" "How could you ever actually care for an imp… Me? How could anybody?"

He's always faced with Stolas bringing it back to...well.. anything else. He either ignores the comment all together or he goes into what he wants.

And Blitzo isnt perfect either, but I feel like we all know that. I think that everyone is well aware of how shitty Blitzo can be, but no one really addresses everyone else. Which is why i'm not getting into Blitzo's flaws, because those are a lot more obvious.

So yeah, thats why I wanted to post this lil analysis. Also because its fun to break apart their relationships and wonder why they said the things they said, get a better understanding of the story and the characters. I could be totally off with all this but I had fun writing it lol.

This is not a blitzo/stolas/fizz/etc hate post AT ALL. I love everyone and think that the story will show us who they are.

Let me know if you agree or disagree!

[my-luck-wit-yo-girl]

Them: why blaze, why is this blazed, bruh you coulda bought this or that. Why did you spend your money on such crap.

Me: I’ll say this as politely as possible “Because I can”!. Is it your money? No just keep scrolling.

Them: I don’t wanna see it…you’re forcing me to see this.

Me:

Them: I don’t wanna see your shhh on my feed

Me: You also didn’t wanna see those Facebook aka Meta aka Instagram ads of what cool things you could buy on Amazon, wish, or any other website with products you want but you’re broke so it’s pissing you off too. You also didn’t want to be interrupted while watching a Snapchat story, you also didn’t want to see the slow down while scrolling on tiktok for 10 minutes straight or hear the tide commercial during your free Pandora/Spotify. Oh wait did you just tap on that click bait right…now you keep getting unwanted pops up saying weird error messages. Matter of fact you also didn’t want to be interrupted while watching your movie and or show but just remembered you gotta go do something. You also didn’t want to see the (dumb commercials during the last years Super Bowl even though your favorite team isn’t playing, or is either winning or losing during or there after the game).

Me: You don’t wanna see blaze post or have ads but this app(offers ad free/blaze free options)….

Them: I don’t have the money to pay for ad free/blaze free.

Me: I figured that much so ask for a Google play or Apple gift card for Christmas cause Lesbihonest even the video games now a days you play online has ads(ads about what you can buy, new upcoming games inside that game with characters and or camos other gear and or season pass, merch, and or awesome perks) there’s even ads on the games you play on your phone and some of these games btw you can win prizes, gift cards, and cash by entering giveaways or earning your way to a cash out. Some you have to be at least 13+ and live in a state or country it’s allowed to play and it’s free. Ads are everywhere guys. And I’m gonna blaze it up, there’s somethings you won’t like so either scroll or pay for ad free/blaze free.

And if you’re mad at tumblr for just now adding a crap ton of ads. Look at it this way it’s nothing personal it’s just business. It’s not my issue truly.🤷‍♀️ There’s a such thing as sponsors, ad revenue, and marketing. If they felt the need to add ads with an option to pay to get rid of ads they’re making some money of course. Yes, now imagine competing with other social media networks on top of that. Now imagine if tumblr stop existing much like the xanga blog site, and soooo many others. Things to think about outside the pesky unwanted ads and blaze thought. Tumblr wants to continue growing like many other social media apps/websites. Yes some changes will suck but learn to embrace the suck once in awhile. Change doesn’t come easy with anything. It’s just modern day social media nothing we as users can do much about really. It is what it is that is our reality.