the-cat-chat

[the-cat-chat]

December 14, 2024

Carry-On (2024)

A young airline security guard is blackmailed by a mysterious passenger who threatens to smuggle a dangerous package onto a plane on Christmas Eve.

Warning: Review may contain spoilers. Read at your own risk.

JayBell: I was pretty excited for this one, especially after hearing general good buzz about it online. And a Christmas action movie? That's right up my alley. So here's the thing. I've seen a lot of action movies, and I can forgive so many things. I'm not one to particularly nitpick movies about realism and what's possible and blah blah. But for some reason, I can not get over how silly this movie is at times.

I know I know, it's an action movie, shut your brain off, and stop thinking too deeply. It's just that I know action movies can make more sense than this one did. Decisions that are made in this movie, especially by our main character (sorry Taron!) just feel so illogical. I'm not saying I would do amazing in his position, but for a wannabe cop, you'd think things would have gone done differently.

For one, he's just talking to himself at his desk and no one confronts him, he calls and hangs up 911 and the security officer gives the all clear to the police without even asking why he made a 911 call, he leaves his post so many times on the busiest days of the year without people questioning (and running everywhere!), his boss watches him act so bizarre and does nothing, and our main character and bad guy have a full on fight in the luggage belt room and no one notices? It's an airport, I'd be surprised if there's a corner left unmonitored by staff. I have more, but I'm gonna leave it there.

There's just too many plot holes preventing my escapism. And I love to escape, so that's when you know it's bad. It's sad because the idea on paper is great. It has so much potential, but the execution is not great.

P.S. There is nothing particularly Christmas-y about this movie. Yeah, the airport is crowded and there's like a tree up in one of the rooms but that's pretty much it. So if you hate Christmas movies, this one barely qualifies.

Rating: 4.5/10 cats 🐈

Anzie:Now this isn’t totallll Christmas vibes even though it takes place on Christmas - so it technically counts. And I have to say I did really like it. And I know it’s not absolutely perfect- there were times my eyes want to roll out of my head- but for a Netflix movie I found it entertaining and the plot was interesting. And the endddd. Wowzers.

I do think it went on a bit longer than it needed to for the end goal- but it was somehow still fast paced - possibly bc how much they had this poor little tsa guy running through LAX. Legitimately I think he probs ran for at least 10 minutes of this movie. Jason Bateman makes a great evil villain as always but I hate his creepy accomplice.

The acting was all really great- but when it came to the motivation of saving his pregnant gf- what the heck mannn. Bc I get it pretty good motivation but then when he finally gets another phone to call her and she doesn’t answer- whyyyy doesn’t he text her?? But he texts the SoundCloud guy? Alllsoooo unless SoundCloud guys number was all over those flyers- how’d he know it???? Jaybell hits all the other issues like 911 getting a dropped call?? From his cell?? And the main cop boss says it’s fine? Sure Jan. And his boss that’s on him like glue doesn’t think he’s being weird?? When he’s so hesitant to put him on the machine??

Like I said it’s only Christmas adjacent- but I thought it was entertaining enough to spend 2 hours watching …. Unlike some things. *cough* krampus*cough* Anything but Krampus 🥹.

Rating: 6/10 Santas 🎅

[the-cat-chat]

December 13, 2024

Krampus (2015)

When dysfunctional family squabbling causes young Max to lose his festive spirit, it unleashes the wrath of the fearsome demon.

Warning: Review may contain spoilers. Read at your own risk.

JayBell: Happy Friday the 13th! I swear there were so many more Friday the 13ths this year than usual. Unluckily (or luckily? I don't even know any more) there still aren't any Friday the 13th movies for us to watch. And in the spirit of Christmas, we've got holiday horror.

In the beginning, I had hope for this movie. Not high hopes, but hope. Krampus is a perfect setup for a Christmas horror movie, how could it go so wrong? I think what upsets me most about this movie is that Krampus should be targeting naughty or mean or bad kids at Christmas right? Right? Well here we have young Max who is the sweetest kid, and he loses faith at Christmas because of how his family members bully him and how dysfunctional they are. He feels like the wrong target for Krampus. At least make Max a naughty kid at the beginning of the movie so this attack by Krampus and co. feels justified. You could even give him a nice character arc that way too, forcing him to be kind and regret his earlier bad behavior. But no. What is Max's lesson? To not be angry when people pick on him? To sacrifice himself for other peoples' mistakes and wrongdoings?

Plus, the movie introduces so many plot points or character details that go nowhere. For example, we have a stressed marriage due to overworking father, strained relationship between aunt and niece, sisters grown distant due to class differences, etc. But in the end, none of it amounts to anything or progresses the plot or forces character growth. The only growth we get is from the husbands bonding, which is like the least interesting dynamic from the list above.

This movie doesn't know exactly what it wants to be. Like in the beginning, there are some serious issues brought up. It began to feel like a family drama where we tackle some issues. And then it went 180 and became so over the top campy and everything important and serious is dropped off the face of the earth. If you want campy, then just commit to it.

Final gripe: Too. Many. Villains. You can have Krampus and maybe ONE minion. Okay? One. That's it. You can even count all the evil gingerbreads as one if you want. Too many villains dilute the scares in my opinion cause your brain is on overload.

I'm not even gonna talk about the monsters in this movie. No thanks, I've blocked that trauma.

Rating: 3/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: Sooo a Friday the 13th in December is a special holiday. And since we couldn’t find a Friday the 13th movie streaming that we haven’t seen weeee (I mean meeeee stupidly) picked this movie. - Krampus could only be a hallucination that lets you get a glimpse of what a good day in purgatory would look like.

I ’m gonna start with the grossness of Krampus. The eyes, the tongue, the teeth, the fingers. And his minions. I don’t wanna talk about the Jack in the Box. But what the actual actuallll. That mouth. The gingies with their shivs. The bird doll thing. The bear. The sounds. The tongues. Whyyy so many tongues?!?! The shrieking screeches. The jingling. Oh and the elves. Whhhy!?!? The giggles. Ugggg.

And the plot. First, the cousins and other family. Wow. And this poor kid. All he wanted was his family to not be dysfunctional and have a good Christmas. Is that too much to ask? I don’t think so. I feel for him. Butttt nooooo Krampus had to come anyway. Why? Like he wasn’t bad - he was upset - soooo why punish him. I really lost the plot beyond just all the gross characters bc none of it makes sense. Honestly, I was peeved at the end. So stupid. All that suffering. It’s CHRISTMAS!!!! Whyyyyy can’t the stupid new Grinch be out or why isn’t there a Christmas Friday the 13th?? There’s 500 other versions!!! Buttttt nooo it’s just the stupid gross Krampus movie. I need therapy now more than ever.

Rating:-10/10 Black Christmas Cats 🐈‍⬛

[the-cat-chat]

December 7, 2024

A Boy Called Christmas (2021)

An ordinary young boy called Nikolas sets out on an extraordinary adventure into the snowy north.

Warning: Review may contain spoilers. Read at your own risk.

JayBell: I have to admit I went into this movie thinking it was fully animated and having no clue what it was about. Anyways, I appreciate a more unique kind of Christmas movie, cause wow is that hard to do. Christmas movies are comforting because of their predictability and familiarity in plot and conflict, but it's nice to branch out a little a watch something more unexpected.

There are some surprising adult-ish themes in this movie: loss of a parent, abuse and mistreatment, starvation, discrimination, and even slavery. At one point, our main character is basically Cinderella.

As a whole, I enjoyed this one. I particularly like the reveal in the end of Aunt Ruth (RIP Maggie Smith). My one major critique is the entire plotline about the not-quite-evil-but-still-mean leader of the elves and how it connects to our main boy's mother. It just feels kind of clunky the way it is covered in the movie and when the truth about his mother comes out and everything.

Oh, and also how is it possible that Nikolas NEVER ate on his journey to the elves. I have to admit that it is distracting to constantly be thinking that on his long journey to Elfheim, convinced that he had to already be dead due to starvation.

Rating: 6.5/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: I jut want to start out by saying the more I think about this movie the more I think I dreamed it. And the best part of it is the littleeeee mouse. Like for reallzzz. I want a talking mouse friend.

I do appreciate that it is very story like and dream like- and it’s great on the surface but I have definite problems with the movie. First, I never trusted the dad. Second, the aunt - feeding him the turnip doll. What the fluff man. Wowzers. That’s some trauma he immediately buried too quickly. Third, what’s the elf lady’s problem??? Like so mean bc the human friend had to leave??? But let’s never think the next human that CAN ALSO find the elves might be her son??? Like you’d maybe sense this with your elf magic? Idk. And he’s magic?? How? But they’d def sense that riggght? He had a talking mouse and is riding a reindeer???? I’d be asking questions.

I really didn’t like the crazed pixie but liked that in the end it ended up being Maggie Smith’s character. Which lead to more questions about aging?? And are these kids Santa’s great great whatever’s?

Toooo the boy named Christmas- what’s that about bc that’s a reallll bad nickname. I wish they explained it more? Or maybe they did?

End verdict: Stephen Merchant as a talking mouse is truly what the magic of Christmas is about. And you haven’t lived if you haven’t seen or heard his witty little mouse quips, but like everything in life there is a small cost to pay and that might be watching a sad little red headed boy eat his turnip doll.

* alsoooo how’d that doll make it that long with out rotting?? Bc surely it would’ve? Right? And he ate it?!?!?

Rating: 5/10 Mousies 🐭

[the-cat-chat]

November 30, 2024

Noelle (2019)

Santa's daughter must take over the family business when her father retires and her brother, who is supposed to inherit the Santa role, gets cold feet.

Warning: Review may contain spoilers. Read at your own risk.

JayBell: I think Anna Kendrick is her own genre of film. I don’t know why, but I think she’s just so much fun to watch, and honestly, she’s perfect for this role.

Like Anna Kendrick, this movie is so much fun. I like that it does give modern family dynamics (similar to The Santa Clause giving us divorced parents). We had a semi-struggling divorced single father trying to figure out Christmas with his kid. And we battle some gender stereotypes at the same time (kind of). Also, I am glad we didn’t try to include a romance. It’s just two adults connecting over their own trauma and that’s nice to see.

Now, I do want to point out some grievances. It’s wild that Noelle is basically forced into being this sidekick by her father and the town, who also smother her ambitions and dreams in favor of her brother. THEN she gets blamed for being the way she is. The movie did not have to completely make the town and her family such assholes, because at the end, even though they accept her as new Santa, I still haven’t forgiven them. They are completely unfair to her, and I needed some groveling first.

But I'm probably overthinking it. The movie is a fun mix between Elf and The Santa Clause, so if you're into that, then you'll probably like this.

Rating: 6/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: Whoever didn’t tell me that there was a Christmas movie with Anna Kendrick and Bill Hader playing Santa’s kids and after Santa DIED Bill Hader is suppose to take over, but is awful at it and gets cold feet and runs away to teach yoga in Arizona, failed me. Is it cringey? Yes. But it’s fun. I could’ve done without the weird romantic vibe that that just lingered between her and the detective for no reason bc nothing happens but whatevvver. And I hate how they blame her for her bro leaving??? Like what?? And then a girl can’t be Santa. And then it’s overtly oh a Girl! Santa!!!! Yay. I’m slightly bitter, but as far as Christmas movies go, it’s pretty unique. And I’m glad she has her cute little reindeer to be her cheerleader bc he’s cuttteeee.

Rating: 6/10 Christmas Trees 🎄

[the-cat-chat]

November 23, 2024

Fear Street Part Two: 1978 (2021)

A summer of fun turns into a gruesome fight for survival as a killer terrorizes Camp Nightwing in the cursed town of Shadyside.

Warning: Review may contain spoilers. Read at your own risk.

JayBell: Spooky season never really ends! Hulu broke down or whatever, so we defaulted back to our trusty Halloween picks. Like the first Fear Street, this is still like a rated R CW production. With that said, it is a lot better than the first one since all the plot has already been established in the first movie.

I enjoyed the sister dynamic in the movie. But it is strange how it's the same conflict between the girlfriends in the first movie (You aren't being your true Shadyside self/You're pretending/This isn't you/blah blah). And it's repeated between the sisters in this movie and with the sister and her rebellious friend.

I liked that they try to "trick" the audience a little bit with the surviving sister twist, even if it is pretty obvious that they're setting it up the entire movie for the big reveal.

The actual problem solving of the whole curse situation, like in the first movie, is very juvenile and unbelievable. Yeah sure, the tree and all its roots and the bones of a witch are right in the center of the mall undisturbed. But whatever. I'm just here to have fun.

See you in the next one!

Rating: 6/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: I really like this one so much more than the first and I haven’t to say - it’s probably bc there’s less of the first movie’s characters since it goes back and time, but I also love a good 70s/80s summer camp horror vibe. Plus Sadie Sink. I did find the drug obsessed couple they used in this sequel much more annoying than the first movie. I enjoyed this one too since it doesn’t get into all the background since you know it from the first movie and just gives you the extra bits to make that make sense. That being said I do find the aggressiveness of the two different town kids once again odd and unsettling. And whyyyy are the older kids just in charge - was that a real thing? Like no adults except the possessed nurse?? And then the cops don’t send anyone home?? Weirdddd. I really loved tho that they don’t refer to Sadie Sink’s character by her nickname so you don’t know who she is until the end. The tree being in the mall just completely fine despite mall construction, surrreee. That being said I’m so excited for the third one where we have a little witch play with all the o.g. actors.

Rating: 6/10 Cats 🐈‍⬛

[the-cat-chat]

November 16, 2024

My Sister's Keeper (2009)

Conceived as a marrow donor for her gravely ill sister, Anna Fitzgerald has undergone countless surgeries and medical procedures in her short life. When Anna sues her parents for emancipation, it sets off a court case that threatens to destroy the family for good.

Warning: Review may contain spoilers. Read at your own risk.

JayBell: I've seen this movie a handful of times and I have to admit that I cry every time I see it. There isn't just one big crybaby moment, it's just tears throughout. It's hard to watch a young girl go through cancer and suffer so unfairly, of course, but it's also hard to watch the breakdown of this family. It's a family drama with a lot of moving pieces and so many different relationship dynamics to juggle. I even like the addition of the side characters like the lawyer and the judge with the dead daughter.

And the performances are great, no complaints there. Cameron Diaz plays an interesting character because you just want to shake her sometimes and tell her to snap out of it, but at the same time, you can also see her point of view. She really is in a tough position, and in a lot of ways I think this movie is truly about her learning to let go. Oh, and shoutout to hot dad.

I even think that the teenage romance between the sick kids is done very well. We see just enough of them to see how good they are together before it becomes even more tragic.

The only problem I have with the movie is with the son/brother. The movie kind of establishes that he's sneaking out and doing random things at night and that no one notices him anymore. He's the invisible child because of his sick sister. I think the movie could have established this more because it's kind of implied but seems strangely unacknowledged.

I've never read the book before, but I did look up the ending. I'm so glad they changed the ending cause the book ending is way too dramatic.

Rating: 7/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: I was really nervous that this was going to break me emotionally, but it surprisingly wasn’t as awful as I thought it would? There’s definitely so many terrible parts. Perhaps, the fact that it’s basically 20 years old and I’ve had plenty of time to accept it’s sad, I was prepared? It’s not a bad movie but as much as I love Abigail Breslin- I can’t stand Cameron Diaz - and her character is extremely unlikeable for most part. And I’m sympathetic, but not realizing it’s problematic to have a spare parts baby?? Anywayyy I do like the plot point of her going to find the lawyer- but the time jumps were weird at times and as always, Joan Cusack, as much as I absolutely love her weirdness, makes it too weird. The whole movie is just a bunch of ‘uhhhh’ vibes and emotionally devastating moments. And I get that it’s 20 years ago but why’s the judge so on about the lawyer’s service dog??? I am also concerned about the bro? Like that roof top scene? And thennn to have the big drama come to a head at court??? Come on guys. Alsoooo- that twist??? I didn’t see it totally, but it’s hard to even see Abigail Breslin play a character that would want to NOT help her sister, even if she was a spare parts baby. Anyway, the ending is weird but did make me cry- I think they seem too okay instantly and that’s not normal- but I also read how the book really ends and all my anger flushed most of the sadness from my soul, soo there’s that.

Rating: 6/10 Cats 🐈

[the-cat-chat]

November 9, 2024

Woman of the Hour (2023)

Sheryl Bradshaw, a single woman looking for a suitor on a hit 1970s TV show, chooses charming bachelor Rodney Alcala, unaware that, behind the man's gentle facade, he hides a deadly secret.

Warning: Review may contain spoilers. Read at your own risk.

JayBell: Spooky season never ends! I love how we’ve practically erased the fall/Thanksgiving theme this year. They really need more Thanksgiving themed movies too.

Anyways, I've in a bit of a true crime phase lately. Is it positively influencing my life to be surrounded by true stories of murders and darkness and gross human beings? I doubt it. But here we are.

I do like Anna Kendrick, so I was excited to see this one, and it doesn't disappoint. It shows not only the treatment of women in Hollywood, but also in broader society and in relation to the police. However, the movie isn't overly preachy or in your face about it, which I appreciate. The movie allows you to feel and understand it through the movie. For example, that moment where Anna Kendrick's character is walking away from the killer in the dark parking lot, desperately trying not to look back or run and the sheer relief she feels when more people interrupt them. Amazing. If you're a woman, you've definitely experienced some sort of variation of this at least once.

The acting is great, no notes there. Props to creepy killer guy doing the creep real creep-like. The only negative I have about the movie is the plot line with the friend of one of the victims. I like what she represents (failure of police and other figures to believe the victims and brush them aside), but I also think that it doesn't feel as tied into the movie as a whole.

I think most of the people who didn't enjoy this movie are upset about the inaccuracies to the true story. But this isn't a documentary, so it doesn't bother me.

Rating: 7.5/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: I’ve wanted to watch this since seeing the trailer. First, bc Anna Kendrick. Need I say more? Plus, it’s not only a thriller but a true crime movie with a few tweaks. So, I was really interested in seeing how Anna Kendrick played the role and what the story of the dating game killer was in general.

And I must say. I had a sick stomach immediately following us watching this (if not during but I was tooo distracted) and for maybe two days later. And thinking of it now, the sick stomach is coming back.

All the acting in it, phenomenal. The actors did a great job being their characters and leaning into the behavior that makes you nervous or scared or even angry. And the set design and costumes def were spot on (except for Tony Hale’s part- sorrry the combover was too much for his face). But Anna Kendrick definitely played her part and thattttttt parking lot scene. And our killller. I’m can’t. Like it’s so gross that he’s completely normally (but got that weirrrddd vibe) until he’s totally evil. The plot point with the younger girl that eventually gets him caught, kills me and was definitely the super contender of this movie giving me a small stress ulcer.

Rating: 7/10 Cats 🐈

[the-cat-chat]

November 2, 2024

Fear Street Part One: 1994 (2021)

After a series of brutal slayings, a teen and her friends take on an evil force that's plagued their notorious town for centuries.

Warning: Review may contain spoilers. Read at your own risk.

JayBell: To close off the spooky season, we end on a modern take on a slasher movie that I've been curious about for a while now.

The best way to describe this movie is if the CW decided to make a slasher movie but it's also rated R. It's a popcorn slasher. It's very dramatic and over the top. But I didn't hate it? It feels like the most juvenile rated R film, but it's also entertaining at the same time. I really like the concept of this connected anthology that jumps through time.

It's insane that one girl barely goes off the side of the road and somehow disturbs some crazy witch's grave. Was she buried only four inches in the dirt? And they go back later and find all this evidence like it's been lying there forever and not ten feet off the road.

I do have to ask why they never consider leaving town. Are they like trapped there? Stop running around town with a bunch of killers and hop on a plane at LAX with a dream and a cardigan?? Hello??

Also, our main character is kind of messed up. She's angry that her girlfriend moved to a rival town, broke up with her, and then got mad at her in a jealous rage that she moved on with a guy. Like grow up. Be mature. At the same time, it's crazy that the ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend is murdered in front of them and they don't really care. Sure he was a douche, but they're back together not even hours later. Screw him I guess?

Anywayssss. It isn't a perfect movie, but I am interested. They leave enough open to encourage you to watch the next movie and I have to admit it's working. I do want to know what happens next (or before?). So I'm sure we will be back to watch the others eventually.

Rating: 5.5/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: Following up Malignant could make anything look good, but his was still pretty iffy. The concept is good but the acting and follow through and dialogue is really cringe. Like these kids need to chillllllll. They’re doing too much. And I get that the town might influence the kids in Shadyside, but what’s the Sunnyvale peeps excuse? And the all the killers come back thing bc of a witch- cool. But uhhh let’s glorify drug dealing for half of the movie and then od the one girl (not to mention drown her too! 😱) and then give her enough epipens to kill a elephant?!?! And the bread slicer??? No. Sorry but no. It’s traumatic being subject to cringey teenager behavior one second and bread slicer deaths the next. I knew when I saw that thing. And I have a question. This stupid cop obviously knows what’s going on bc he slips a note in the door of someone that survived it before- but he could have hellllllppppped them. And then blaming everything on ax boy and bread slicer girl??? This town knows what’s going on- that poor boy was employee of the month FOR EVERY MONTH- how are you spinning this junkie story?!?! And she was the cheerleader?? And the girls still got this with in her. What the fluff man. And it’s bad. But I have to know what happens next. Like whatsssssss this witch’s game mannnn. And who was the copper in the past??? Plus the next one is supposed to have Sadie Sink, but it’s probably like Maya Hawk, where it’s 15 secs of screen time before the witch gets you. Also. That reminds me. So she wants the girl right. Bc she disturbed her grave. Right. But how was the witch just Willy nilly possessing all the other killers at random?? Did I miss that??

Rating: 4/10 Witches 🧙‍♀️

[the-cat-chat]

October 31, 2024

Malignant (2021)

Paralyzed by fear from shocking visions, a woman's torment worsens as she discovers her waking dreams are terrifying realities.

Warning: Review may contain spoilers. Read at your own risk.

JayBell: I hate to victim blame, but maybe this is my fault. We wanted an actually scary movie for Halloween night and this is what we landed on. And oh boy oh boy do I have stuff to say.

First of all, only maybe the first ten minutes were scary because you don't know what's going, the motive, it's all mysterious. It's fear of the unknown. But Anzie and I had a good understanding of what was going on pretty early on, which for me, took away almost all of the scare factor. Maybe we've just seen too many movies, or maybe this movie isn't as twisty as it likes to pretend it is.

From very early on, I found myself actually rooting for the creature, which also took away the scare factor. Let's talk about it. The creature starts killing (after killing asshole husband) all these doctors/researchers. Who cares? As the viewer, we have no emotional connection to these people. The assumptions we are able to make about these victims make them seem like unethical people anyways, so it seems like the perfect case of revenge to me.

Furthermore, the cops/police/detectives are some of the most cliche dumb officers I've seen in a movie. At one point, the detective gets a lead on a vicious serial killer and decides to go alone? Not only does he go with zero backup, he doesn't call backup when he encounters the creature which is just silly to me. I can only suspend belief so much. And the idea that they have a hypnotherapist ready to go for a consult? Wow.

The movie exposition dumps like crazy in the most inelegant way possible. For example, we meet the husband and immediately he is the most cliche, stereotypical abusive husband. In a subsequent scene, the main character just randomly decides to share that she's adopted to her sister and has absolutely no memories of her childhood. Righhhhht what a natural time to share this info. And the sister??? She decides to check out this old abandoned hospital thing ON HER OWN and it's perfectly intact and hasn't been sold or cleared out and trips over perfectly preserved records and video tapes of her sister/sister's mom that conveniently share everything that's happening. Yep.

And the big reveal. The wig itself needs its own comment. Cause it's fake as hell and everybody knows it. I couldn't stop laughing at the reveal because it's just Voldemort in the first Harry Potter movie. Seriously it's the exact same concept and even looks visually similar. And the special effects are terrible.

And the ending where our main character just finds the power within her all along? I am speechless. Plus, what's with the devil implication? That was underdeveloped. And why bring in the mom in the present at all? What was the point?

This definitely goes down as one of the worst movies of the year. Happy Halloween I guess.

Rating: 1/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: I hate it. I really don’t wanna talk about it. What an awful way to spend Halloween. I’m still searching for a hypnotist to remove it from my brain. It wasn’t terrible maybe for the first 10/15 minutes and was actually scary with the shadow person. But after that. Murder me. It was so bad. And makes no sense but also does??? It’s more of a whyyy does it exist. I’d rather watch 10 Friday the 13ths back to back. The efffectssss are actually the worst I’ve ever seen. And when they aren’t terrible they’re traumatizing. And the movie is so terrible to even try and take itself seriously. I think this is a never watch and anyone that says it’s good is either lying about seeing it or just admitted a GIANT red flag.

Rating: 0/10 Demons 👹

[the-cat-chat]

October 26, 2024

Saw (2004)

Two men regain consciousness while chained to pipes at either end of a filthy bathroom. As the two men realize they've been trapped by a sadistic serial killer nicknamed "Jigsaw," they realize they must complete his perverse puzzle to live.

Warning: Review may contain spoilers. Read at your own risk.

JayBell: We finally cross the first of another famous horror movie franchise off our list. I'm happy that this one is less of a slasher and more of a psychological horror movie with slasher-esque elements. It's way more interesting to watch two potential victims be pit against each other in sadistic mind games than watch a group of idiots stumble around and get killed. It is much gorier than I anticipated, which I neither really dislike nor like, but it does effectively up the stakes for the victims in the story.

I like the setup of this movie. Just put two very different victims together, seemingly strangers, and force them into this terrible scenario. I actually appreciate how the two men didn't immediately try to kill the other person to save themselves. I think the movie does a great job balancing moments in which they work together and moments in which they can be a little more selfish.

The big twists of the movie are okay. Like we predicted the most obvious one almost immediately because truly there isn't that many characters in the movie. So by process of elimination you already know who the bad guys are. But the final final reveal I didn't quite predict, even though it seems obvious in retrospect too. Also, that's a very risky plan for Jigsaw. What if he had to sneeze? That would be so embarrassing for him.

I know the one surviving cop with the dead partner is experiencing some kind of mental breakdown, but does he seriously try to go after Jigsaw on his own, no calling the police, no backup, no nothing? He even interrupts a home invasion without calling the police. Yeah, that seems smart. Maybe he parted on bad terms and holds a grudge? Let's go with that.

In the end, I'm not sure we're gonna continue with the series, but never say never. There are plenty of Halloweens in the future.

Rating: 5.5/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: I have to be honest as awful as this movie is and as much as I have no desire to ever see it again or anymore sequels due to the gore and sounds these movies have, I appreciate the actual existence of a plot. I went into this thinking that it was just a weird puppet that keeps people in a torture maze until he murders them. I knew the second Michael Emerson popped up he was involved though, he gives that vibe plus being the same time his two shows were popular it makes sense. Butttttt I always thought that he was working with the killer not bc the killer was forcing him too with the threat of death. And for the actual guyyy to lay entirely stillllllllll in the room with the other two guys???? And not react!?!?! I do like how the guy says the dead guy’s blood (his blood? Which isn’t possible?? But whatever!) has enough poison that it would make you wanna die- and meaning the treatment he received for cancer, not poison as part of the game- so it’s alluded to being him from the start but you don’t see it until looking back. Can we discuss two other things tooo. If your child says a man’s in her room. Take her seriously. Pls. The reaction to that in this movie is just insane. And what’s with the pig mask?? Never ever explained but what the whattt. Absolutely terrifying. Anyway. I feel bad about the end bc the guy’s like oh you had the key all along. But he was in a tuuuubbbb and it went down the drainnnnn. That was so awful. After everything. And why didn’t it pick up with the dr guy finding the cops or anything?? Tooo I got really big Seven vibes- but that was better?? I guess bc it was from the detectives perspective? IDK.

Rating: 4/10 Cats 🐈‍⬛

[the-cat-chat]

October 19, 2024

Caddo Lake (2024)

When an 8-year-old girl disappears on Caddo Lake, a series of past deaths and disappearances begin to link together, altering a broken family's history.

Warning: Review may contain spoilers. Read at your own risk.

JayBell: This movie is listed as horror, which is what placed it in Spooky Month this October. But really is isn't a horror movie in my opinion at all, more of a mystery/thriller. So in retrospect, not a movie that fits the theme.

Anyways, I have to preface this by saying I do love Dylan O'Brien, so I was predisposed to like this movie from the beginning. And I don’t think it disappointed. If you like the (spoiler!) travel travel genre, like I do, then it’s a solid story. It’s not perfect by any means, like I won’t be talking about it to my grandchildren, but it’s good.

I like the mystery aspect as always. I'm very proud of Anzie and I for collectively predicting what was going on pretty early on, although it did lessen the emotional impact of the "big twist." It isn't too confusing for a time travel movie, since we didn't even have to look anything up after we finished it cause we understood what was going on. The time travel itself (the specific hows and whatever) are kept very vague and unexplored. I feel like the movie is trying to communicate a theme about man's destruction of nature and connecting it to the time travel, but it feels like an afterthought.

The time travel is important, yes, but truly this is more of a family drama from multiple angles. I wish they explain more of the relationship between the main girl and her stepfather. From what I can understand, he raised her from a very young age, but all of a sudden she has this big resentment for him and I don't exactly know why. Is this a recent change? What was the inciting incident? And I think the movie spends just a bit too much time setting everything up, and as a result, the time travel portions and the conclusion feel too rushed.

Rating: 6.5/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: Okay so the trailer for this movie is veryyy misleading. And I figured what’s spookier than a swamp and a child going missing, that’s a literal nightmare. And real. I mean swamps are scary without missing children or people in general. And kidnapping stuff (which I assumed it was) is also ridiculously frightening, it’s part of the reason I had to stop watching Criminal Minds. Anywaaaay. It’s not scary or spooky so we kinda messed up but we can blame Dylan O’Brien’s cute face, BUT, BUUTTTT, I have to say I realllly loved it and it might be my favorite movie we’ve watched all year, next to Scream. But it’s also time travel (sorrrrry) which I haaaate. Bc it makes my little worm brain hurt(do worms even have brains?) but it was fun figuring out that this was a time jump concept and the fact that the line between this time and whenever it was to jump back to WAS in the swamp- is creepy. But to get me to love time travelly whatever- the movie has to be good. I will say I was mad at the ending but a girl can’t have everything she wants right? Like he and his kid should meet rigggght- for like two secondssss. Also, what’s the mom’s problem?? I know but she also seems extra hostile? And the family treee uuugh my brain but I with it. I hate it but I’ll accept it. It’s just so crazy but it’s a fun movie to piece the parts and be entertained.

Rating: 8/10 Cats 🐈‍⬛

[the-cat-chat]

October 12, 2024

Scream (1996)

A year after the murder of her mother, a teenage girl is terrorized by a masked killer who targets her and her friends by using scary movies as part of a deadly game.

Warning: Review may contain spoilers. Read at your own risk.

JayBell: Just when I had finally given up on slasher movies, we finally get to Scream. Honestly, I’m surprised by how much I enjoyed this movie. It might be my favorite slasher movie we’ve watched so far next to Halloween.

I like the self-aware, break-the-fourth-wall thing they’ve got going on. It’s like all the characters know they’re in a slasher movie and have fun with it. The satire adds to the entertainment. Also, the whodunnit aspect is stronger in this movie than the other slashers we’ve seen. Usually, the identity of the slasher isn't as much in question and doesn't really matter.

Also, I like the characters, which is a huge deal for a slasher movie. Cause usually I'm rooting for the character to die since they're such assholes, really frustrating and stupid, or endlessly annoying. But I actually like the characters in this one. I especially like that they've given a few female characters actual personalities and substance, which you can't always find in slasher movies. And the acting isn't terrible either.

Now the question remains: Are we gonna be able to catch up on all the movies in the franchise before the next one releases?

Rating: 6.75/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: Now I never watched Scream bc I thought it was a joke, especially bc there is like a thousand installments. But I think this might be one of our best movies this year and definitely great for spooky season. It’s not really scary, I mean bc it’s real, sure, but not in like a jump scare way. But we spent the whole time guessing who the real ghost face was. So it was a lot of fun and really interesting to watch. And everyone was such a babyyyy. And I’m shocked her dad was alive at the end. (But it was weird the cops never went out of their way to find him?? But whatever.) And I loved Jamie Kennedy’s character and honestly can’t believe he survived. My final and general thought is for being nearly 30 years ago- for a scary movie, it’s not only suspenseful and kinda scary, but def way better than the iconic movies that came out before it and that I wanna actual see the other installments rather than just trash watch them.

Rating: 7/10 Cats 🐈‍⬛

[the-cat-chat]

October 5, 2024

The Shining (1980)

A family heads to an isolated hotel for the winter, where a sinister presence influences the father into violence. At the same time, his psychic son sees horrifying forebodings from both the past and the future.

Warning: Review may contain spoilers. Read at your own risk.

JayBell: Spooky Month begins with a true horror classic. Stephen King adaptations have a wide variety of quality. And over the last few years of The Cat Chat, we've seen the best and the worst. From the terribly bad IT to the mid Carrie to the incredible Shawshank Redemption, we really are marking them off our list.

So where does The Shining land? Personally, I think it's better than movies like Carrie, but not up there with The Green Mile and Shawshank. It's definitely iconic though. I appreciate the visuals, the cinematography, the set design. And I love a psychic kid plotline (I want to see The Sixth Sense kid fight The Shining kid in battle). But seriously, this kid is freakkkkyyyy. I felt bad for the mom who is like the only normal person in this movie dealing with crazy abusive husband and demon-sounding child.

Truly the true center of this movie, to me at least, isn't about psychic kids or haunted hotels. It's really a story of an abusive marriage. Cause wow. He's an asshole way before being infected by the hotel, it just brings it more to the forefront.

The entire time I couldn't stop comparing Jack Nicholson's facial expressions and performance to Jim Carrey's Grinch. It's uncanny.

Rating: 6.5/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: I waited sooo long for this movie. And the end of September into October has been rouuugh. And Spooky Season Kickoff with the The Shinning was suppose to make everything great. And I’m soo sad bc I bet too much on this one.

First. It’s not scary. At all??? I mean maybe that naked tub granny situation was uncalled for but??? Really??

Second. All this is- truly- is to show the scary possibility you might marry a man that’s actually really horrible- BEFORE he even loses his mind bc of a haunted hotel and tries killing you and your kid. But what do I know. Other than he abused their kid while he came home drunk. Yelled at you when he was “writing.” And just very emotionally and verbally abusive. But heyyy blame the hotel it’s fine.

I get it too that bc the kid has the shine blah blah blah, the hotel wants him. And does this through the dad. But that really felt a little lost in the plot. But I’m dumb. Sooo. Ya know. Whatever. The ending is just ridiculous too. It’s ridiculous. I was hYpeDdd man. For overrrrr a year. And then living on that for like a month. I was ESTATICccc. Rude.

Rating: 5/10 Demons 👹

[the-cat-chat]

September 21, 2024

Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009)

An urbane fox cannot resist returning to his farm raiding ways and then must help his community survive the farmers' retaliation.

Warning: Review may contain spoilers. Read at your own risk.

JayBell: Wes Anderson movies are always an experience, and this one is no exception. Visually, I think this movie is really cool and interesting, and I had a lot of fun watching it. It's got pretty good humor too.

But I can't help but hate our main character, Mr. Fox. He's just so selfish and arrogant for so much of the movie that it's more difficult to root for him. As usual, family is a big theme in Wes Anderson movies. In this one, the father-son dynamic stood out to me where the son is constantly insecure and seeking the approval and attention of his father. It doesn't help that his perfect cousin seems to have it all. And while I appreciate the cousins having a nice relationship arc, I feel like there isn't a similar relationship arc between father and son that satisfied me in the same way. Yeah, he gets the mask in the end, but to me it didn't feel like this change in relationship was "earned," it just happens.

Also, I feel like the movie could have incorporated the cousin's girlfriend in more since she's a part of the "family" at the end, which didn't make sense to me as she didn't appear to be that significant of a character.

But still, it's a unique movie that's worth watching, so I'm glad that I finally got around to it.

Rating: 6/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: This review is going to be redundant. I have to say since I first saw it, this movie had and always will be my top ten movies, if not top five. Andddd I have to say next to Atomic City and The Grand Budapest Hotel, this is my fave Wes Anderson movie. So it’s gonna be a 10/10.

First, the actual creation and art and stop motion. Beautiful and insane. The characters are all so unique in endearing or weird ways. It’s really hard to pick a favorite. Plus you have the regular Wes Anderson regulars voicing those characters, need I say more. I also have to say the replacing cuss words with the actual word “cuss” while still in context permanently set up in my personality from the moment I watched this the first time.

The story too, although not Wes Anderson’s, is so good and I really do love the different messages throughout the movie. From being happy with you have to revenge doesn’t end well to family and community being most important, it’s endless. And I really do think even with the great aesthetic, with the messages, it really is the best thanksgiving/ fall movie.

I will saw, Jaybell mentioned the ending feeling like the end to White Noise, a movie we shall not discuss again. But to find out whhhhhy. Rude. Indoctrinated allll these years. Welllll guess what?!? It didn’t work. Fantastic Fox rulez and White Noise droolZzzz.

Rating: 10/10 Foxes 🦊

[the-cat-chat]

September 14, 2024

Taken (2008)

When his daughter is kidnapped by a gang of human traffickers while vacationing in Paris, a former spy must pull out all the stops to save her.

Warning: Review may contain spoilers. Read at your own risk.

JayBell: I've seen this movie more than a handful of times, even though it's been a while. And yes, the action is pretty good, but it does get old after a while. If I have to see that spoiled brat daughter and mean ex-wife one more time I might scream. The characterization of the daughter is strange. Cause yes, she's supposed to be naive and immature and sheltered, but my god, is it painful. Sometimes it seems as if she's twelve years old.

And don't get me started on the ex-wife. I get she's bitter about her ex-husband being gone all through the marriage and not being around, but girl please. You married a super rich guy now, the ex-husband left his job in order to be around more, why you so mean and salty still? Like get some therapy and move on and take a nap in your mansion.

Anyways, this is an action movie more than anything so I'll stop complaining about the characters so much. It does have some nice choreographed fight scenes, Liam Neeson does give off the appropriate divorced dad vibes, and it's fun to see terrible people get punished for their terrible misdeeds.

P.S. What about Amanda's family? I love that Liam Neeson was like not my problem, I'm on a mission, but that girl also goes missing and dies and it's like it never even happened. Crazy. Wouldn't want to be her. Her dad's probably something super boring like a dentist. How worthless.

P.P.S. Extra gold star for the famous, "I will find you speech." It's iconic.

Rating: 5.5/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: I just wanna say this movie has some serious sick lines for Liam Neelson. But I’m utterly and entirely aggravated. This teenager. Her mother. This teeeeenager. Ok I know I had my issues but if my dad was obviously some government super agent and he told me I can’t go to Paris unsupervised, I’d be mad but I’d get it. And then to find out it’s really to follow U2- noooo I’m not having a stroke- U2 - around Europe for 2 weeks. She’s nuts. I mean it’s 2009. Do better than U2 if you’re getting kidnapped. Reallly. All those people died. Her dad loosing his mind. Literally being human trafficked. For U2. I have other issues like how cringey things were or the absurdity that the Albanian Marco hears the one of the most iconic lines ever. And two days later when an American shows up- he thinks nothing of it. Insane. I can see the entertainment value, but the concept that this plot exists and then lends itself to two more movies hurts me.

Rating: 5/10 Cats 🐈

[the-cat-chat]

September 13, 2024

Friday the 13th (2009)

A group of young adults set up tent near the abandoned summer camp where a series of gruesome murders are said to have taken place back in 1980.

Warning: Review may contain spoilers. Read at your own risk.

JayBell: Happy Friday the 13th!!! To celebrate (aka punish) ourselves, we decided of our own volition to watch the 2009 Friday the 13th. Well, really it was the only Friday the 13th movie streaming so "of our own volition" is a bit of a stretch.

If I remember correctly, we didn't even like the original Friday the 13th, and our viewing of Jason Takes Manhattan was also bad, but in a much funnier way.

I thought this was a totally new remake, but no, it's just another one in the series. So basically they just exposition dump the whole backstory to the audience in the beginning of the movie. So yeah.

Wayyyyyy more nudity and sex in this movie than I anticipated. I think I got jumpscared by boobs more than I got jumpscared by Jason.

Anyways, long story short, this is bad and I did not like it. I kid you not, the entire time Anzie and I were CONVINCED of this plot twist that never came. We basically created a new movie in our minds, and let me tell you, it would have been a much better movie.

Are you telling me that what set Jason off was a guy peeing on some weed plants? Is Jason growing weed as a hobby? Why on earth does he kidnap some girl and keep her hostage?

A lot of the girl characters blend together in my mind since they have no defining characteristics. The asshole boyfriend is an asshole for no reason. And his girlfriend sees Jared Padalecki one time and ditches said asshole boyfriend, which fair, but seems a bit sudden in context.

The heart of the movie should have been Jared Padalecki's character and his sister. However, they barely make an attempt at building that relationship.

In the end, I didn't care who lived or who died, the plot is stupid and boring, and the characters are bland and shallow. Maybe I'm learning that I just don't like traditional slasher movies.

Rating: 2/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: Uhhh soooo I really couldn’t pass up an impromptu Friday the 13th partaay. But seeing as the 2009 version was the only part of this franchise streaming (hopefully X streams by the next Friday the 13th) we haddd to go with that. And uh again I know how to pick them. My first comment. Jared Padalecki- I should’ve known. And second why is there so much boobage in this one??? Seems excessive. Ummm. Next the weed??? What’s with that plot. I feel like I missed something?? I will say. It’s small points do come from the fact I got to be imaginative and come up with a huge scheme that it wasn’t Jason it was the weed growers and the cops were in on it and that’s why they weren’t helping find anyone blah blah blah but no. Just Jason and his mommy issues. Reaaalll quick. Um soo Jared padaleckis looking for his sis riggght. Ummm why’s no one looking for all the other people she was with??? Just asking. You know since I allllready can figure out the whole Jason thing of if he died as a boy or how’d he turn into a man or why’s he immortal ish or is this he technically a zombie??? What’s the deal!?!??? So yeah I guess I can just focus on the other giant plot holes. Everyone in this movie is absolutely annoying and to be fair Jason didn’t deserve the woodchipper. And that shamu move at the end. I’m over it and can’t wait till next time. Blame the duality of humankind and my propensity for loving to subject us to uttttter trash.

Rating: 1/10 Cats 🐈‍⬛

[the-cat-chat]

September 7, 2024

Marmalade (2024)

Recently incarcerated, Baron strikes up a friendship with his new cellmate, a man with a history of prison breaks. As they hatch a plan to escape, Baron recalls how he met the love of his life and how they came up with a scheme to rob a bank.

Warning: Review may contain spoilers. Read at your own risk.

JayBell: Yes, the hair and the accent is an assault on your senses, but I think Anzie is much more sensitive to those types of things in movies than me. Okay maybe not the hair, that was tough.

Weirdly, in the beginning the movie felt very Forrest Gump-esque with the accent, the naive male protagonist, and the storytelling narration.

The whole time you're thinking, how could a guy be this stupid and gullible? It's like watching a car crash in slow motion.

I'm a bit conflicted because I do think the twists in the movie are fun and pretty well done. I do think it makes the beginning worth it. But I also have some gripes.

One, the dancing scene in the parking lot is kind of weird and pointless. I didn't get what message it was sending or what it added to the plot.

And two, they start off with these funny little visual gags in the story as Joe Keery's character starts his story, but then they give it up shortly after. So either stick with it or never do it at all.

And lastly, some of the side characters weren't as well written or well acted as the main characters. For example, the various cops aside from the main one. And maybe I would have enjoyed a bit more relationship building between our two prisoners.

But overall, I've seen worse. Like Joe Keery's hair. I don't understand how one guy could look so different with a few different hairstyles.

Rating: 5.5/10 cats 🐈‍

Anzie: I don’t really know what possessed me to want to watch this. And honestly it had to be seeing Joe Keery with THAT hair and hearing THAT accent and that it was going to be a fun little bank robbery movie bc his mama is sick and alll that. Can I say for at least 75% of this movie I felt pure pain in every organ of my body. And that accent and that hairrrrr. I was so concerned and angry I never wanted to be allowed to make another decision for the rest of my life.

And you know what? Marmalade she gave unhinged killer vibes from the start. And I hateddd her. And I feel like the performance was a criminal minds knock off of Blake Lively in Elvis and Anabelle (which I lovedddd) - and I knew she’d kill his “mom?” And then she’s pregnant after like 3 days?? Hoooww could Baron be that dumb. Wellllll that’s the whole thing - and honestly I’m kinda conflicted bc the literalllllll last 15 minutes are nearly worth the pain? I mean we alllll got got and it’s soooo good on how it turns out and his nickname. pUppETttttt. Gawd. I don’t know I’m kinda mad but not?? We’ve seen way worse and it’s Joe Keery soo I feel like transgressions can be forgiven. Except if I think about his ploy toooo much my head hurts???

Rating: 4/10 Cats 🐈‍⬛