#spoilt the whole thing for me

[weirdheadcanons]

Seriously?!? They let Dan Didio write Nightwing again?!

And of course he decided it wasn't just enough to kill Nightwing, but make every freaking crisis his fault for surviving.

Not killed just once, but every time. Never ending loop. And apparently, it's killing one of the very few genuinely nice, genuinely sweet characters that can bring about the Golden Age, while his murderer gets a happily ever after.

Seriously, DC should stop letting those who hate certain characters write for them.

[nintendont2502]

spending more than a few days around your family and no one else truly does cause a certain type of madness. and baby they call me the joker

[boowritess]

part 2 lol

so apparently it's really fucking hard to get into the SAS. and ontop of that I've been getting tiktoks of people going around an army base asking why they joined. most responses were to pay off student loans, bills, school, (someone said there's was 6 years of prison or school and *mental note for idea*), the recruiter lied or spoilt them, barracks bunny.

141 (poly?) x notsobaddasssoldier!reader

and now i can't stop thinking of soldier!reader. who really half-assed their way through everything - only doing the job for the money and to pay off student loans + they had nothing better to do.

who somehow ends up being adopted by Price (kinda like Gaz i guess ???) all because reader happened to be in the right place at the right time and saved Price's ass while managing to complete a mission the Task Force were doing.

and it's not that you saved his ass or completed the mission that makes Price go *this is mine* - it's the fact that afterwards all you can say is-

"this shit is so not worth paying off my student loans."

"oh fuck i forgot to cancel my subscription. fuckk- waste of fucking money"

- all the while a building is burning in front of you but yeah just not at all concerned about what had just happened. so price just *grabs you by the back of your neck and holds you up, claiming you as part of his task force now.*

(lol you probably can't do that irl but this is fiction sooo suck my ass.)

and laswell's just like no... they are very much still green john. way too green. no.

but it's too late. he's already introducing you to the task force. singing your praises and you're just like

"man he promised to pay off my student loans and give me food." basically how ur recruiter got ya ass.

enough said. you get the whole off the books speech, saving the world by doing things others wouldn't like. but u couldn't give a rats ass - you should but nah...

and like... you know you're the rookie... you're still green... but some of the shit 141 do you just...

"so you just gonna kidnap the wife AND the child...? right... kid, you wanna watch bluey? here..."

"and you do this often...? crazy."

but you don't exactly protest. how could you with how much you get paid. you kinda just side-eye and look away when it's geta a lil crazy. *bombastic side-eye*

and the other 141 guys - oh my days. become just as enormed as price and want to start really trying to amplify your skills. but every time, they start explaining how to do things - the best way to go about a situation or how to fight a certain way.

you pull this face. like your top lip pulls back, your eyebrows scrunch together, and there's a slight frown on your lips as they speak. like you look confused/disgusted. but you don't even realise cause-

"why're you pulling that face?" 141

"that's... that's just my focusing face..."

"oh..." 141 feels bad

then when they do take you in feild you're shaking your head no. like you haven't been around that long. what the fuck? now you're bout to infiltrate an enemy base!?!?!

"can i just wait in the car?"

"no." price

"i'm gonna vomit."

"aim at the enemy." ghost

people think that because you're suddenly in this badass task force that surely they're just using you for your assets.

they all think you're the 141 barracks bunny. and maybe you should be pissed or annoyed or grossed out. but all you can do is sigh and pause from the burger price got you, and let out a long exhale.

"fuck... maybe i can just do onlyfans or be a pornstar... shit maybe it's not too late..."

"military is bascially sex work - selling my body..."

"not that different from what i'm doing now. body being used, check. body sore in the strangest places, check."

your tone so empty, blank and nonchalant, but there's a serious look in your eyes that when you grab your phone out to maybe do a little research on how you could do that, your phone is snatched from your hand by one of the guys and they walk out the room without a second look back.

with an annoyed huff, you go back to eating your burger. but suddenly, you turn to the person who genuinely thought you were a barracks bunny.

"hey you think if i be a barracks bunny i get out of missions and shit?"

"...that's not how it works..." rando.

"fuck."

and maybe you try...

like you go to price's office and the guys are already in there, chatting about something that you should really pay attention too but you can't be assed. instead you unashamedly start to speak...

"if i suck ya'll dicks can i get out the mission?"

"no. you still have to join." gaz says amused

"even if you-" *que long sigh from price* "even if you suck our dicks."

"that's fucked up. i should've done porn."

and with the most hurt and broken-hearted look on your face, you leave the office, closing the door with a dramatic sigh. the guys just stare at the door in... confusion, amusement, and maybe arousal if ya'll dig that

idk man just gimmie more soldier!reader who just really ain't the fucked, there for money, lowkey hungry and doesn't know what the fuck is happening. kinda a pet or little sibling energy that the 141 love.

bonus*

"wait so they aren't sucking our dicks?" *soap says getting slapped in the back of the head by ghost

a/n: brain is rottinnggg. i should be doing so much other shit but... cod just consumes my brain 24/7

[ruesol]

Imagine Sukuna being forced to participate in a ballet recital for his daughter’s plushies.

Before you read: reader is referred to as mother.

Masterlist

-•-

“Step right up, for the ballet recital! Step right up!” You announced outside your daughter’s room. This Sunday, there was a very important event taking place in your home—your four year old daughter was conducting her very first ballet recital! She chose Swan Lake for the performance.

Your daughter pretended to make the plushies walk to their seats. There was a make-shift stage which was made by laying down a fuzzy pink rug. After all the guests walked in, your daughter insisted that you check whether there were any uninvited guests so you counted the tickets; small pieces of pink paper with the names of her plushies written on them. “All guests are here, madam!”

“Good job, mom! Now all we have to do is wait for dad and we can start.” You yelled your husband’s name to call him. Five minutes later, in your daughter’s words, in came the ‘evil black swan.’ His pink hair was pushed back by a devil horn headband from an old Halloween costume. He would’ve looked conventionally evil if it wasn’t for the black tutu he was wearing—again, courtesy of an old Halloween costume you had.

The image of your husband in a black tutu was hilarious in contrast to the cuteness your daughter showed with her pink tutu and tiara.

“Let’s get this over with,” he sighed.

Thirty minutes later, after many twirls and unicorn related plot twists, your daughter ended the show as she bowed down. Sukuna just watched his daughter do her thing with his arms crossed and was just glad that the whole charade was over. “Daddy, bow down or the people will be mad!” she whispered.

Sukuna looked at you for help but you only shrugged. Whatever your daughter wanted, she got; spoilt rotten by both her parents. He let out a deep breath and bowed. You clapped at their performance. “Yay! Encore, Encore!” you exclaimed. You wanted to record the whole performance so you could send it to Sukuna’s brother later. Your daughter giggled as she started the music and got back into position.

“Hey, I’ve had enough with the twirling!” Sukuna complained, but as he went to pull off the devil horns, he couldn’t help but feel guilty for his daughter’s pout. “Alright, but just once more,” he said to her as he raised his arms to start pirouetting to the music.

“You owe me big time,” he grimly warned you as he twirled.

“Swans don’t speak, daddy!”

[bumblesimagines]

you didn't like that comment, huh.

is that what you really think of me?

you don't make this whole love thing any easier.

rafe cameron

Pronouns: He/Him/His, M!Reader

(Y/N) couldn't remember when or how he managed to befriend the cruel Kook Prince of Figure Eight, but ever since the fateful day Rafe decided they were pals, he refused to let (Y/N) have a moment of peace.

No matter where he went, the menacing blond appeared over his shoulder with his fancy cartier sunglasses and stupid polo shirt-khakis combo, often complaining about one thing or another. Some days it was endless blabbering about how unappreciative his father was; other days, it was about Barry and 'their' business; but most days, his complaints involved his sister and her new friends.

(Y/N) wanted to be working on his car and listening to some good music, but then Rafe pulled up in his shiny red motorcycle, kicking up a trail of dust and dirt down his driveway. He hadn't even taken his helmet off before the complaining began, nor did he bother giving a proper greeting before rifling through his cooler for a beer can. He plopped his behind on the step of (Y/N)'s porch like he owned the place and began his usual spew. Rafe even had the gall to reach over to his speaker and lower the volume, something (Y/N) could only sigh at.

The only option (Y/N) had was tuning him out, as he did on most days. He hummed and grunted along to whatever Rafe said while he changed his car's oil, slipping underneath his jacked-up car and letting Rafe's words go in one ear and out the other. He wasn't sure if this was how Rafe treated all his friends, but if it was, it was no surprise that Barry barely enjoyed having him around. 

"And those dirty, fuckin' pogues, man. I can't fuckin' stand them. It's like, you should be thankful we give you jobs to begin with, and you repay us with puttin' a gun to our heads and- and stealing our shit and- God," Rafe sucked his teeth. "Good for nothings." 

(Y/N)'s jaw ticked, and he slid back out from underneath the car, his eyes finding Rafe's face. Rafe's gaze flickered over to him, the beer can in hand tilted to fill his mouth with its contents before he peeled it away from his pursed lips.

"You didn't like that comment, huh." He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, his features scrunched up from the sun rays peering down at him.

"Is that what you really think of me?" (Y/N) questioned as he got up from the floor, stained hands rubbing along his pants to faintly clean them. He arched a brow at Rafe, nearly rolling his eyes when Rafe clicked his tongue in exasperation as if (Y/N) were an obnoxious child. "A dirty, good-for-nothing pogue?"

"C'mon, man. You're not like them. You- You're different." Rafe argued with a loose shrug, a crinkling noise coming from the can when he squeezed it and tossed it back into the cooler. (Y/N) was really starting to get tired of his nonchalant attitude. "Don't be such a baby, dude."

"You ever considered that Topper and Kelce only hang out with you because you're a Cameron? 'Cause you're really fucking annoying, too." (Y/N) huffed, itching to slam the bottom of his shoe into Rafe's bike until something broke and he'd be forced to crawl back to the father he so often groaned about. Instead, he thumped up the porch steps and past the guy who reeked of expensive cologne. "You're not an easy person to like, asshole."

Rafe got to his feet, his brows tucked together in a frustrated furrow. "You don't make this whole love thing any easier either, (Y/N). At least I'm trying to make whatever 'this' is work, but you keep brushing everything off!" 

"What-" (Y/N) whirled around to face the spoilt blond, almost staggering backward from how quickly he moved. "-are you even talking about?"

"Us?" Rafe scoffed softly, unimpressed. "What else would I be talkin' about? You drink too much already?"

Whatever bubbling irritation had flared up in (Y/N)'s belly died, replaced by stunned confusion despite the sneaking suspicion he had an idea what Rafe was on about. "What exactly do you think we are, Rafe?" He asked, voice losing its previous heat and softening in the slightest. 

"I dunno... something? We've been on dates but you act like a damn prude every time I try something." His ringed fingers ran through his short strands, pushing them out of his eyes. "You're not the waiting 'til marriage type, right?" His nose crinkled.

(Y/N) wanted to laugh. "We're not together, Rafe. But, fix your attitude, and maybe we could be something."

[theastrical]

your wedding with the genshin men

kaeya, diluc, childe x bride!reader

ps: i’m sorry it’s only three characters, i’ve been getting a burnt out these past few days, so the content might be kind of a flop hhh…:(

kaeya, our dream wedding

He had prepared since a very long time about this day; especially ever since you both have started to get serious about this relationship you have with him. He has been hinting it down, asking you questions that lead him to know your dream wedding. He doesn’t want anybody to know aside from his best man, which is diluc.

And finally when the time came for him to explain the wedding and how much have he taken care of the whole thing, you were amazed, in fact, you cried, because all have been taken care of and not by the preparation, not that it impresses you as much as how how much he knows you, how much he prioritise your dream in this wedding of yours instead of his. “I thought it’ll be nice to know my fiance’s dream…after all, your dream is mine as well.”

Weeks before the wedding, when you do your fitting and have prepared your own specials for the wedding, kaeya asked not to spoilt him any more of your preparation for him; so you did. You made your own vow, you prepared a flower…an eternal flower where it’s protected by glass and it can last forever, and your wedding dress-which has been designed to have kaeya’s favorite flower, the calla lily.

But there’s one more thing you have made a secret of, it’s a small gift from you that’s more to what he had imagined, you had asked an illustrator to come inside the wedding and draw crepus; his late father, to attend his wedding beside him and diluc as his best man in the final picture of the wedding. To commemorate what crepus can’t see; his two sons growing up.

The day you walked in the aisle, he can only open his mouth; spilling out the word “mine” quietly. He held your hand, like a guard trying to protect it, before he kisses your palm, and greet you in his thousand of smiles. He had made a vow, super simple and short but it makes you tear up, cause kaeya, never said words that impacted you more than today and so did you when you spilled out your vows to him.

The wedding ring was made to complete each other when it’s used, yours are the sun and his are the moon. The audience consist of people that are close to you, hence it wasn’t that awkward for both of you to even have the first kiss as a husband and wife, because…it felt too good to be true, to finally have him as the one for your entire life.

Although, kaeya finally broke down when..you asked the illustrator to show the painting to him. It felt like, crepus is there. His only father figure is there to be with him in his happiest moment. He cried like a baby, while seeking a comfort on you. He kisses your cheeks nose and everywhere, telling you in a whisper…”you don’t know how much all of these meant to me, i didn’t regret any of this at all…please never stray away from me.”

Diluc; royalty wedding

He had made it clear before that he will prepare a royal wedding, something that the royals can only partake. You were baffled obviously, you know how much it’ll cost and you can’t never contribute even a slightest bit cause hey, the thing he called wedding is basically the sentence of “how to spend all of your life savings in one night.”

So you talked it out with diluc, you have thought it’ll be okay if it’s going to be a simple wedding as long as the money is enough but diluc immediately banished that thought with a simple sentence of “you won’t put your money into it and that’s final. Just let me be the one to pay, you can prepare everything you want, as long as both of us can have our own time inside the wedding. After all my dear, what’s the use of these money if i can’t please you hmm?” the guilt is there inside you but you just nodded. After all, if he had put the mind inside it. You know there’s no way out.

So you did, you prepared your all time wishlist, ready to spend out his unlimited wallet like there’s no other day than your wedding. He chuckled when he saw the bill for your every needs, he thought it was funny that even after everything, you only waste what you thought were expensive for you instead for him. So he bought you the much more expensive food for the wedding to make your spending balance with his, because it’ll be unequal if both side don’t have the pleasure on preparing this wedding.

Yes diluc is showing his love thru his materialistic nature, but that’s just how he is, because he trust you enough to show what he have more than his demeanor that everybody judge to be cold and rude. Because you’ve seen his everything, his emotional side especially, and he wanted to pay you back for being his everything (his daily listener and his free pats and affection machine) by enjoying the perfect wedding and soon to be life he can afford with his money.

So when the day came, you were not just in shock, you were so baffled you continue to asked him “we’re not in the wrong place right?” Which he just answered with “how come we’re in the wrong place silly…there’s your name and mine in the sign hehe..” after all he has been keeping the location secret, he just wants you to come and be his forever at this point.

That same day is the only time you see him smile like a sun, he definitely should smile more and you hope that the sight of your dress can turn him into a sunshine. You were preparing your dress and makeup, your bridesmaid as well, all of you are having fun by yourself until it’s time.

you suddenly feel nervous, your heart felt like it just fell down…and the way your stomach churn just before you walk down the aisle, oh god, you wanted to puke-yet in the same time you step your heels onto the floor, diluc immediately look at you, his face is cold, it made you 100 more times groggy.

But as soon as you hold his hands and he held yours, he whispered to you…”don’t make me fall in love with you more now..” shit, diluc, don’t make me blush even more!!! He said his vows, which was helped by kaeya cause he wants to make it…more informal, to which it made you teared up because with the help of kaeya and his willingness, it feel like he finally talked his honest feelings…

and When it’s time for your first kiss as a wife and a husband, he held your waist, leaning your body down and kisses you passionately as he look at your eyes, what a love fool he is to even kiss you like there’s no other day. Oh and surprise surprise, after the whole wedding ended, he showed you his long time gift that he hasn’t been able to expose, a small house in the mountainside-an escapism for you both to have your best life together. “let’s use that tomorrow yea? i’ve packed your things and mine, let’s have a peaceful honeymoon where no one can’t disturb us~…”

Childe; the traditional wedding

You guys will have the wedding of the century in his hometown (presumably by childe’s family cause his hometown rarely have weddings and childe is known across the town). You didn’t deny that request though, after all you have visited childe’s hometown and it certainly is beautiful even when the place is extremely cold.

Because the wedding is far away from your family and friends, he decided to pay for their tickets, after all, marrying you means marrying your entire life, at least to a traditional man like him.

Months before the wedding, he had talked to you about the wedding and how he needed to at least have your approval in these certain things, cause he doesn’t want to disappoint his wife, the wedding is basically his test to become your perfect husband. The wedding he planned was a simple traditional wedding, speaking each vows and family gathering, that’s all. It’s not exactly what the modern “wedding of the century” is but to his family, seeing childe getting married is already a gem by itself.

You both have agreed to spoilt each other privately in the honeymoon instead, because the wedding will be filled with his huge family members and friends you barely know. so with a short and simple event to be held, you guys have decided to exchange each other’s precious item; and both of you have chosen the wedding ring. Instead of couple wedding ring, you guys chose each ring that represent both of you the best, so when it was exchanged, then you guys would have a part of each other in hand.

In the aisle where you walked, he just stared at you, mesmerized by you-his eyes slowly tearing up in response; because his heart was struck by a realization, to met someone like you, who understands him the most and make this wedding more than the word special to him…is enough. You’re beautiful, too beautiful in truth, especially for somebody like him.

When you were beside him, he chuckles and hide his tears, yet your hands immediately brush those tears with a comforting smile, he replies with a grunt of “thank you, wifey..” ,

you both exchange vows, he ended his vows with a quote from Shakespeare that he read about in his first library date with you..”life is too short to love you in one, i promise to look for you in the next life”. He hugged you instead of kissing you at first, because he was already too emotional when he said his vows.

Then afterwards you guys exchanged the ring, his was a blue sapphire, the same color as his eyes, yours were white, bland indeed, but white is a base-a color which everybody need, and you wanted him to know, that you’re always here for him. When you both exchanged the rings, he laughed, he was too happy to have a piece of you in him. He even make a play with his wingman by acting like they’re polishing it and make sure it’s all pretty. You were laughing your ass off because childe look so smitten by this point.

And when the priest say it was time to kiss each other as a wife and a husband. He immediately carry you in his arms and kisses your lips…before he slips to your cheeks and neck. He carries you to his arm and snuggles to your neck, walking thru the doors of the wedding venue to the private hall to continue the family gathering…which is basically him feeding you food and the guests intervening onto childe’s act of service by talking to you both almost every single second. “now just eat the food okay? I’ll handle those nosy guest..” he pats you before he feeds you again and again, as he giggles…for seeing how cute you are like this, teary eyed from the wedding ceremony and hungry.

[mayapapaya33]

I had sort of hoped Keyleth would have matured and grown past her anger at the Matron over the past 33 years but I suppose it's in character that she hasn't fully dealt with her grief yet. And the Vorb probably isn't helping her issues either. It just sucks because I think a lot of the fandom take Vox Machina's grief fueled blame and fully accept it as fact when the reality is that Vax's situation is almost entirely his own responsibility. The only other person with any remote culpability is Percy. And even Percy is only really to blame for accidentally Killing Vex, not for Vax's choices. But even if you want to hold Percy accountable for Vax's choice in the tomb as well, that still doesn't make him responsible for Vax's death. Vax could have lived a long full life as the Matron's Champion, as shown by the Delightful Purvan Suul and his companion Galdric.

Vax was a borderline suicidal, self-sacrificing character from day one. He always threw himself into danger headfirst regardless of the cost to himself. Between Percy accidentally setting off the trap creating the circumstances for Vax trading himself to the matron during Vex's resurrection, all the way up to Vax CHOSING to come back as a revenant after being disintegrated in order to help defeat Vecna, the choices have always been his. Especially him, fate touched as he is. Ultimately, Vecna killed Vax and Vax killed Vax. I think it's easier to blame the Matron than to be angry with Vax for being who he was.

The Matron maintains the balance of life and death. She accepted Vax's offers both times, do you think she should have refused? The first refusal would have meant Vex's death, and the second refusal would have meant Vax possibly just staying dead after being disintegrated, and not being there to fight against Vecna, which was truly an all hands on deck situation. There was no time to fuck around with a resurrection ritual that might not even work, the whole world was in danger. One life, a life that was already lost, is a small price to pay to save the world. I'm pretty sure Vax would agree with me!

Frankly, Vox Machina were super lucky and privileged to have so many successful resurrections between them. I think they got a little spoilt and entitled about it honestly. Most people have never even met someone who's been resurrected before, they did it like 20 times! Vax was disintegrated, he chose to come back as a revenant to fight Vecna, protect the world, and help his family. An opportunity he was only given due to his allegiance to the Matron. She gave Vox Machina and Vax extra time together and a chance to help save the world.

For those of you shouting "what about true resurrection!?! I hear you, and Matt said it's complicated and didn't elaborate lol. Personally, I think the Matron has quite the special a barrier of entry to true resurrection, if the spell even works at all in Exandria. I think they touched on it briefly in Calamity but I've forgotten. I can only imagine what insane ritual Matt concocted years ago that he's had plenty of time to work on since. Part of the Matron's whole thing is that everyone must eventually go into death, sure they can avoid it for a while, so some resurrection is fine (the DC gets higher every time), but eventually enough is enough and it's time to go. Hence why necromancers and liches are her enemies.

At any rate, I'm really proud of Keyleth for going to therapy and I hope she goes back when all of this moon business is over because she still needs it and that turtle lady in the frog seemed great lol.

[godhandler]

Cottagecore life with Sukuna, who’s already packing his bags out the suburbs as you paint a picture of blue-green countryside idyll amid the mountain grass carpet, warm hearthstone, and sweetfish fresh from the stream. 

“Pick your favourite.” He scoffs at your delighted face. He won’t show you how much time he spent planning the whole thing: a surprise trip to a sheep ranch. Your laugh warms a blush all through his tan skin. “We’ll take it with us.”

A quick peck of gratitude later, you spend your time examining through the bleating herd. Cloud-balls brush past your knees. You decide on a youngling: fat little candyfloss on stubbly legs, a few weeks old at best. You’re already planning on the barn you’ll make for him– watch him grow up into a spoilt old ram. 

Sukuna, hanging back against the fence, rustles your hair as you return with your baby in your arms.“Good choice, looks soft too.”

“He is!” You pet his little head as he nuzzles into your neck, already taking to you. “His name’s Yuuji, I’ve decided, it’s perfect for him!”

“I’m not gonna call the pest that.”

You two walk back to your car, strapping your new pet into the backseat the best you can. The journey back to your homestead is pretty short anyway. “You’ll start loving him in no time, I tell you. C’mon, just call him by his name once!”

………..

“You don’t like it, brat?” Sukuna is confused seeing the tears in your eyes. Is it the smoke from the sizzling dish? Or were you not feeling meat-ish today? The lamb has been roasted to perfection, he made sure of that, topped it with your favourite lemon-cilantro too! “I’m even calling it ‘Yuuji asado’ instead of ‘cordero asado’.” 

“My baby…” You reach out to touch his now-crispy skin. 

Sukuna’s a bit hurt– you didn’t even try it once before reacting like that. Sukuna might not be a very experienced cook, but he actually followed the recipe to a T, putting his heart and soul into the dish to make you happy. On top of that, you did pick the lamb out yourself, so there’s no reason for you to be so ungrateful. 

Still, he carves out a leg, pouring extra garlic oil onto your plate, and forks off a bit for you to taste. You don’t want to hurt his feelings. You take the bite he’s offering. 

Yuuji. You’re sobbing now. You’re heartbreakingly delicious.

“Do you … like it?” His first culinary attempt: He just wants you to appreciate his efforts. 

“It’s the best lamb ever, baby.”  It’s true. Well-marinated meat, so tender you could tear it with your lips. Juicy on the inside, the flavours seeping through and through. You can’t even pretend that you don’t want another bite. “Tears of happiness, don’t worry about it.”

“Damn right.” His smile is back to cocky again, having conquered the art of the kitchen. “Play nice and I’ll make it again for you next week.”

a/n: this happened to me. I was 7. dad's side of the family yk.

[fandom-junk-drawer]

The Witcher Headcanon - Witcher Senses: Taste

Geralt has an enhanced sense of hearing and smell, so Jaskier reasons that of course his sense of taste would be enhanced as well.

Jaskier is maybe just a wee bit envious of Geralt's better sense of taste. It must be marvelous to taste food and drink on a whole deeper level than a human.

Even when the food at an inn or tavern is blander than h*ll, Geralt still appears to savor the taste, while Jaskier has to settle for suffering through the meal, or maybe be lucky enough to have a little salt in his pack.

And when the food is amazing? Jaskier wishes he could taste the food the way Geralt does. The food is absolutely delectable. The best thing he's ever tasted. Surely it is fit to set at the table of the gods themselves!

Jaskier is at a loss for words to describe the flavor. He looks at Geralt, and is instantly jealous of the Witcher's taste buds. The expression on his face suggests that the food tastes like pure sin.

Lucky b**tard

But Geralt's enhanced taste buds aren't just for enjoying food. Jaskier has seen him use it to keep both of them alive.

Geralt: Hm. Wine smells off. Let's see...

Jaskier: just the tip...of the tongue!

Geralt: *eye roll* Hm. Poison.

Jaskier: :O

Dead deer on the road with not a mark on it? Geralt's got it covered.

*nibble nibble*

Hmm. Wasting disease. Better stick with rabbit for dinner tonight.

Jaskier is impressed. The versatility is amazing! There are so many uses! He discovers another use for Geralt's tongue several nights later.

It's been a long day of travelling, and Jaskier has been taken over by inspiration and spent almost the entire day scribbling in his notebook and strumming on his lute. Geralt has not made as much progress has he'd like, but Jaskier is too distracted to keep up a steady, quick pace.

Oh well, there's really no reason they can't make camp early.

Jaskier is just sitting there later, minding his own d*mn business, when Geralt throws him for a loop.

He's been feeling off for the past few hours. Shaky, and a little sweaty.

He's staring at his notebook, glaring at the half-baked lyrics he's scribbled down.

He's getting worried. Had the meat pie he'd eaten earlier been spoilt? Was he going to die from eating rotten meat?

Geralt is abruptly at his elbow, grunting a concerned 'Hm'. His companion smelled off.

"What?"

"You don't look good."

"Excuse you, but I always look good!"

"You look like sh*t, bard."

"That's rude! Just for that, I'm sleeping on the other side of camp!" *Stands and stumbles*

Geralt grabs Jaskier's arm to steady him, but then doesn't let go. Instead, he starts snuffling at his skin.

Jaskier: *light-headed* Er...?

Geralt makes a thoughtful sound, then starts licking Jaskier's forearm.

"What the ever-loving--?!"

Jaskier can't complete his sentence because 1. Geralt is licking his arm. And 2. Geralt's tongue is scratchy, like a cat's, and he is having thoughts about it.

And goodness, some of those thoughts were making him blush!

Geralt apparently finds what he's looking for because he makes a satisfied grunt and lets him go.

Jaskier snatches his arm back, and stares at him, metaphorically clutching his pearls.

"You need to eat." Geralt says simply. "I can taste it in the sweat on your skin."

"You can...whAt?"

"I can tell from how your sweat tastes. It tastes bitter. Eat."

"But I ate earlier,"

"That was hours ago Jaskier."

Jaskier paused. Now that he thought about it, he'd eaten that pie for breakfast when they'd left town. It was now late afternoon!

"Well, f**k me running!" Jaskier exclaimed, feeling relieved. He wasn't going to die from a spoilt meat pie!

He took the dried meat, cheese, and nuts Geralt handed him and chewed contemplatively for a few moments.

Jaskier: *grinning suggestively* So, you can tell what's wrong with me by how I taste?

Geralt: *annoyed at the suggestive remark* Hm.

Jaskier: Do you have to lick my arm, or can it be any part of me? *eyebrow wiggle*

Geralt: Hmm (exhasperated)

Jaskier: Because, you do know that your tongue is interestingly scratchy, and it's making me rather curious as to what it would feel like on my--!

Geralt: *Shoves chunk of bread into Jaskier's mouth* Eat.

Jaskier: *muffled disappointed bard noises*

Geralt sighed to himself. Jaskier was going to be an insufferable menace this winter.

[matts-girlfriend]

Breakfast In Bed - Matt Sturniolo

(english isn’t my first language)

Warnings : Angst

This is heavily based on this song

Part 2

It had been days since the breakup. Maybe weeks. Honestly, I had no idea anymore. Time blurred together when all I did was lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, drowning in the same thoughts on repeat. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, it was like he was still here—like if I just reached out far enough, I’d find him next to me.

You said that you love me

Isn’t that lovely

Because loving Matt was all I had ever known.

Since kindergarten, when we’d share crayons and pinky-promise to be best friends forever. Since middle school, when we got stuck in our ugly phases at the same time, all braces and bad haircuts. Since Year 9, when we finally stopped pretending and made it official.

Tangled in sheets

Strawberry fields

It was always supposed to be Matt and me.

Being with him was the easiest thing in the world. It was waking up to breakfast in bed, sneaking out at 2 a.m. for McDonald’s, slow-dancing in my room to songs that weren’t even romantic, but they felt like they were when we were together. His family had become my second family—his younger triplet brother, Chris, constantly annoying me like he was my actual brother, and his older triplet, Nick, acting like my own personal life coach. It wasn’t just about me and matt. It was all of them.

You promised me pancakes

For all of my Sundays

And I guess in some way

I got that still

And then YouTube happened.

At first, it was harmless—just Matt and his brothers messing around with a camera, filming challenges and vlogs, hoping to make something out of it. I thought it was cute. I was proud of them. I watched every video, liked every post, supported them every chance I got.

But then things started changing.

Just like you said

I’m eating breakfast in bed

Ever since you left

I’ll never love again

I’ll never love again

Slowly, so slowly I barely noticed at first.

A missed date here. A last-minute cancellation there. Him leaving in the middle of dinner because “I need to film, I promise i’ll make it up to you soon.” I told myself it was fine. I told myself I understood. But the more it happened, the more it hurt. The more it felt like I was losing him.

We graduated, and it should’ve been the start of something new for us. But instead, it was the beginning of the end. They hit a million subscribers. The dream was real now. And I was happy for him—I really was. But when I hugged him that day, I could feel it.

The distance.

Then, one night, I got the text.

“I’m so sorry to do this over text, but I can’t be with you anymore. I love you more than anything, truly, but for my career, I need to take this step.”

Swear I’ll die in this room

I can’t even move

I’ll never love again

I’ll never love again

I stared at my phone, my chest tightening, my whole body going numb.

This wasn’t real. This wasn’t happening. Not like this.

I started typing, my hands shaking. Begging him to talk to me, to tell me what I had done wrong, to tell me how to fix it. But none of my messages sent.

Blocked.

Just like that, five years together—fifteen years of knowing each other—gone.

All I got was a text.

And I completely broke.

I stopped leaving my room. Stopped eating. My mom started leaving food by my bed, her voice soft when she told me she was worried, that I needed to take care of myself. But I couldn’t. Everything felt dull. Pointless. Like the world had drained of all its color, and I was stuck in this constant ache in my heart of everything and nothing at the same time.

Black coffee’s gone cold

Just like my soul

The stains on my T-shirt

Are eleven days old

I just lay there, wasting away, replaying it all.

What could’ve been.

What should’ve been.

What would never be.

I miss you like hell

I’m spoilt like milk

If you saw me right now

You’d run for the hills

I wondered if he ever thought about me. If he ever regretted it. If he ever stared at the ceiling at night and felt like something was missing.

Just like you said

I’m eating breakfast in bed

Ever since you left

I’ll never love again

I’ll never love again

But I already knew the answer.

He had the whole world now. He had everything he’d ever wanted.

I closed my eyes, gripping the sheets tighter, wishing I could just disappear.

I made myself take a bite of the cold breakfast that had been sitting on my desk for hours, as my mind drifted.

Wondering was any of it real

How come you don’t feel the way I feel?

I didn’t lie, I didn’t cheat or kill

So, why is this my death-row meal?

part 2??

(divider by @bernardsbendystraws )

[atydblack]

sirius black x pureblood!reader where they r at a pureblood gathering in an established relationship & the reader although not a blood supremacist is pretty praised within the society and viewed almost as a pureblood princess, an example & a perfect (future) wife. she doesn’t love that but she’s used to coloring in the lines so she can’t help the way she is viewed by the pureblood society. anyway, sirius and reader r at some kind of pureblood event and he already feels out of place. reader tries to keep him at bay but eventually he causes a scene when a few boys actively hit on reader in front of sirius. reader pulls him aside and is just like wtf is wrong w u sirius u know im yours. lots of comfort and fluff plz

"pureblood princess"

masterlist

"I can't believe you're making me do this." Sirius huffed, frustratedly attempting to tie his tie.

"I don't want to go just as much as you don't!" You grumbled, wandering over to him and helping him with his tie.

"I have a solution," He smirked, "We could just... not go?"

You rolled your eyes, he had been complaining all day and you were done with repeating yourself.

"We don't have a choice, Siri."

It was the night of the annual Pureblood Ball and now that you and Sirius were engaged, your attendance was mandatory.

This year, the ball was at the Black Manor. The Blacks had been almost shunned from the society due to Sirius' behaviour but have now been welcomed back with open arms.

Sirius' parents were over the moon when they found out about your relationship. After years of Sirius refusing to accept his label as a pureblood, his engagement to you surprised everyone.

Your parents weren't so excited. There was constant gossip of the Black family after Sirius ran away and as you were highly considered the 'pureblood princess' to those in the pureblood society, they thought you could do much better.

Sirius didn't help himself when attending big events like this. You had to beg him to come and when he finally agreed, he just moped the whole evening.

"Why don't we just run away?" Sirius mumbled, pulling you in to his chest and kissing the top of your head.

"We can't." You mumbled back. As much as you did want to run away with Sirius forever, you just couldn't. Your presence was too demanded, if you ran away with Sirius they'd have his head on a stick within a week.

"At least you look gorgeous." Sirius poked at you.

That was one of the only thing you enjoyed about these gatherings, you could both dress up.

When you were much younger, these parties excited you too much. With rose tinted glasses on as a little girl the idea of wearing a pretty dress and have everyone fawning over you was a dream.

You could sense Sirius' anxiety upon arrival and as much as you tried to comfort him, he just quickly shut you down.

"Siri, you'll be fine. We just have to show our faces for a bit then we can go home." You reached for his hand.

"I am fine." Sirius grunted. "I just don't want to be here."

He avoided eye contact with you as you walked through the giant doors towards the dimly lit ball room.

You'd think that this would be any girls dream and perhaps if you ignored the details it might be. However knowing that almost everyones ideologies in that room were what many considered evil spoilt the whole thing.

Everyone was dressed in dark colours, your deep red dress complimenting the room. The most infamous names in the pureblood society were here tonight, so you knew you had to put on your best act.

"Sirius," Narcissa greeted sternly as her and her sister Bellatrix approach the two of you "Y/N."

Sirius' jaw tightened as he kept his words to himself.

"Narcissa, Bellatrix. Lovely to see the both of you." You faked a small smile.

"Congratulations on your engagement," Bellatrix sneered. "How you managed it I will never know, Y/N."

"I'm not quite sure what you mean."

"Well, our dear Sirius would have danced on all of our graves just a few months ago, including yours." Bellatrix smirked. "You must tell me the details of the charm or potion you used to make him like this."

"Oh piss off, Bellatrix." Sirius barked.

"Oops, looks like it's wearing off." Bellatrix laughed before the two of them strutted off.

"Great start." You mumbled.

"Can we just leave, Y/N." Sirius groaned.

"Just a little longer, Siri." You squeezed his hand as you moved forward within the party, before spotting both your parents approaching you.

"Y/N, darling." Your mother ushered you over. "Come join us."

"Orion," You smiled gently "Walburga, lovely to see you both again."

You had known Sirius' parents since you were born. Funny how differently women and men were treated in this odd society.

You were treat like a delicate flower and on the other hand Sirius was raised with high expectations of being this big strong man. Now somehow you were the one being praised for bringing him back into this toxic environment.

Sirius stayed silent, not bothering to utter a word to your parents nor his own.

"Oh, darling Y/N, how stunning you look." Walburga gushed. "You will be such a stunning bride."

"Indeed," Orion spoke sternly. "It will be a pleasure for the pureblood princess to be part of the Black family."

"It will be my pleasure." You blushed.

Sirius let go of your hand, walking away from the group without a word.

"He's um-" You mumbled becoming flustered. "He's still getting used to being back here."

"Don't worry darling," Walburga reassured you. "We couldn't manage him so we can hardly expect you to."

You gave a fake smile and after a while of conversing with you soon to be in-laws, you left to get a drink.

Your eyes wandered around the room as you waited for your drink at the bar, Sirius nowhere to be seen.

You couldn't blame him, it wasn't exactly the best place for him to be but you didn't expect him to abandon you within the first 10 minutes.

"If it isn't the pureblood princess," A voice was heard from behind you. "Where's your retched fiance?"

It was Evan Rosier. He had been on your case for years and after many, many proposal refusals he still couldn't give up.

"Why would I tell you." You muttered.

"Ah, he's left already? I'm not so surprised. He's always been a runner." He came closer to you, not leaving eye contact. "I would never abandon you, princess."

"He hasn't abandoned me." You snapped. "Can't you take no for an answer? I'm engaged."

"You think I believe that? What business does Sirius Black have with you? He hates all of us, including your family."

"Shut up."

"Can't handle the truth?" He reached over to grab your chin, forcing you to look at him. Not wanting to cause a scene, you let him. "Princess, I would give you the respect you deserve and you know it."

"Leave me alone."

He chuckled, leaning in closer.

"Make me." His face was inches from yours as you froze inside yourself.

Before you knew it, he was being pushed against the bar, glasses smashing everywhere.

"Keep your hands off of her you filthy rat." Sirius barked.

"Your puppies come off his leash, Princess." Evan smirked.

Sirius shoved him harder, ready to hit him.

"Sirius, don't" You grabbed ahold of his arm as the room went silent. "Don't do this."

"Yeah, or what?" He grunted.

You pulled on his arm harder and he turned to look at you, his features softening as you caught his eye.

"Lets just go, Siri, please."

He pushed Evan to the floor before storming out of the front doors.

You rushed after him, ignoring the muttering of gossip as you did so.

"Fuck!" You heard him shout out of frustration now that he was away from everyone.

He was sat on one of the stone steps with a cigarette in his hand and you sat yourself next to him.

"What was all that about?" You mumbled.

"Are you fucking kidding?" Sirius grunted. "He was all over you."

"I can handle myself."

"Doesn't bloody look like it." He bit.

"Well, I can." You bit back. "You know how many years I've had to deal with men like that?"

He was silent for a moment.

"I'm sorry I just- I can't stand being around all those people again."

"All those people? Siri, they're your family."

"Yeah well they're all pricks." He muttered. "And you- why are you pretending like becoming a Black is such an honour? My family is filled with lines and lines of horrible people and you know it."

"I know. You know I have to say these things." You responded. "But I do feel honoured."

"How could you possibly feel honoured."

"Because I get to marry you."

He turned to hide is blushed cheeks before turning back to you.

"I love you, Y/N."

-

this is not proofread and there is no smut im so sorry but i just wanted something to back into the swing of writing and loved this idea!

[six-eyed-samurai]

HEHEHEHEH >:3 all im saying is rindou x popular!reader? like bratty and full of herself. REGINA GEORGE. REGINA GEORGE READER. but not actually

SORRY IF THIS IS CONFUSING I JUST WANNA KNOW WHATYOU THINK AND IF YOURE WILLING TO WRITE IT OK LOVE YOU MWAH MWAH MY WHIPPED CREAM ON TOP OF THE PERFECTLY WARM HOT COCOA WITH THE SMALL BUT REALLY TASTY MARSHMALLOWS <3 (almost typed mushrooms LMAAOO)

A/N: PLEB MY BELOVED TERIYAKI PEACH I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG YOU ALREADY KNOW MY EXAMS AND SHIT BUT RAAAAAH ALSO I NEVER WATCHED MEAN GIRLS (the number of people about to murder me rn) SO I HOPE I'M ACCURATE, PLEASE ENJOY IN RETURN FOR THE VIP I LOVE YOU TO PLUTO AND BACK (Did someone say mushrooms? Well, I am a fun-guy- get it? GET IT?!) WARNINGS: Swearing and breaking the fourth wall. Nowhere says the Haitani brothers attend high school, but nowhere also says they don't, so here they do.

🌸First of all, let this be known that the one and only Haitani Ran came up with that title and is responsible for the whole story below (or so he claims, because I did about 80% of the work typing this out).

🌸Anyways.

🌸You meeting each other was probably inevitable - the Haitani brothers the head delinquents of Roppongi, you the literal head of every single popular girl clique.

🌸Do you hit off at once? Absolutely not. You made a very cutting comment about Rindou’s hair, even after your terrified girlfriends (minions) warned you about who he was and similarly Rindou called you a wannabe with fake Prada and your makeup was smudged.

🌸What a great start to a friendship! From that day onwards every time you both caught side of each other it was snarky jab after snarky jab at each other’s hair, clothes, shoes, speech, grades, lunch, anything you both could think of.

🌸Rindou hates you because you’re just such a prissy, spoilt princess brat with hella nice hair. You just hate him because who does he think he is to insult your fashion taste? So what if he’s a total bad boy delinquent? What about it?

🌸Ran thinks it’s hilarious. Rindou cannot not talk about you even when you’re not around, even if it’s just the repetitive complaints of your usual petty annoyingness, and gee, Rin-Rin, are you really that obsessed with them that you even still think about what colour their nail polish are in the middle of a fight? It’s almost worth missing a nap, Ran decides, when he can record Rindou spluttering out protests and declarations that you’re the ugliest, nastiest girl he’s ever met.

[Ran turns the camera to his face] I think my brother is a kindergartener afraid that girls have cooties. Sigh, he was supposed to be the more mature of the two of us.

🌸Even your traitorous girl clique were shipping you both! Even after you told them to shut up! Ugh! You don’t need them to stalk out his socials, you don’t need them yammering about how you always greet him in the corridors (”Did a dog shit on your shoes, Haitani?”), you don’t need them taking pictures/photoshopping you both together. Just, ew.

🌸Once again, so what if both your rivalry was turning into a…really weird obsession?

🌸You were pretty sure you hated Rindou with a burning passion, but one day you caught yourself studying your figure in the mirror, judging - judging?! - your own outfit by his standards: what sort of comments would he make this time? Is he going to jibe that you had finally found a skirt shorter than you? Are you actually wondering if he’d like it?!

🌸You CANNOT be seriously breaking one of the sacred rules of no pink on Wednesdays right now either just because Rindou had once made a muttered remark this being the only thing that looked good on you.

🌸Rindou was quite certain as well that if he could, he’d run a bus over your snobby ass but…here he was, cringing at whatever made him stop by the roadside asking if you needed a ride home since it was raining. Not because he cared or whatever. He hoped you got soaked to the bone sitting on the back of his motorbike. And that your hair gets messed up from wearing his helmet.

🌸You treating him to the boba cafe that nearly opened the next day was also strictly returning a favor so you didn’t have to owe your biggest nemesis. In fact, HE should owe you for making you wash his stupid jacket that he had forced you to wear that night as protection from the storm.

🌸Rindou sasses you right back, but yes, he supposes he owes you another drink. And another. And another. And another.

🌸At this point it’s so obvious the only reason none of you have admitted you’re practically dating already is because of your egos and reputations.

🌸That is, until one day when you’re strolling home by yourself and scrolling on your phone to scoff at Rindou liking your latest photo, A FEW DAYS AFTER YOU POSTED, you’re cornered by several members of a gang with a grudge to settle with the Haitani brothers - what better way to do so than to target Rindou’s girlfriend (see, if they were targeting Ran, they’d have to target every girl in the neighborhood, playboy that he is).

🌸Now you might be a prissy mean girl but that don’t mean you can’t kick ass physically. One of them made the stupid mistake of trying to grab your arm and EW, WRECKED YOUR NAILS? You slapped him pretty hard for that…and the rest too, with your new handbag, which made you even more pissed off, because hello, that shit was designer?!

🌸Also, congratulations, you've managed to make them all extremely self conscious while unconscious with your jibes about their appearances.

🌸Unfortunately that can't help you when more of them show up and you're outnumbered. At least you're going out with a bang…but not in the way you think when Rindou’s motorbike suddenly plows through them, engines revving, an irritated expression on his face.

“The only one who gets to piss my girlfriend off is me, so hands off.”

🌸Most people would've thanked him once he was finished knocking them all out but you immediately start berating him for taking so long in arriving.

”You really took your sweet time driving here, so of course I just decided to head home myself! I didn't need you to accompany me!”

He rolls his eyes because if he ignores your ungratefulness he can see your fingers trembling as you picked the items fallen from your bag, evidence of you still being shaken up. This (bratty) behaviour was just your…coping mechanism? Or maybe just typical you. “Then how'd you get surrounded so easily?”

“How was I to know people wanna beat me up today?!”

“You know what, stuff it and get on the bike. I'm taking you home whether you want me to or not.”

You stuff it and get on the bike. Rindou only uses that tone when he's worried.

🌸Aaand then it's only when you're on your doorstep do you realize what he had said.

🌸Rindou sees you frozen and raises an eyebrow. “What is it this time?”

“You called me your girlfriend.”

“So I did. You're not? Aren't we going on dates and everything? Sorry, “outings just between the two of us”?”

“We never talked it out or agreed on anything official!”

“I didn't know we needed to file a form and get a stamp of approval in order to go out.”

“OMG, you're so annoying I can't even - fine, I’ll…be your girlfriend. The moment you get a better haircut.”

…

“WIPE THAT SMIRK OFF YOUR FACE! Ugh, gotta go redo my makeup now.”

“Stop talking about my hair then, before you look at yours.”

He's still smirking as he leaves.

🌸So now Rindou has not one but two divas in his life. He can't decide which of you is the lesser evil, because on one hand he has Ran killing his wallet with all his dye jobs and on the other you're demanding his wallet for that new pair of heels he's pretty sure will break in less than a day.

🌸What are dates like? You dragging him off to clothing/shoes/jewelry stores, mall dates where you empty him of all cash on dessert and boba, going to the latest trending cafe while you judge everyone around you, spill all the gossip at school and naturally, talk about yourself (Rindou secretly eats your cake and zones out when the last one happens).

🌸If you've seen that reel of someone digging a hole in their cake to secretly reach the other person's cake…you know what Rindou does now.

🌸However both you and Rindou's favourite kind of date is when you're just driving around aimlessly in your shiny sports car with the wind blowing through the windows and the only fights are over your music choices: popular ones from Instagram (you) and whatever strikes Rindou's fancy.

🌸Has Ran attempted to gatecrash your dates and plead to drive your car? Absolutely. Have you let him? No. It's one of the few things you and Rindou agree on.

🌸You can be pretty annoying with that full of yourself attitude, “camera eats first!” mindset and double meaning words, but it's only annoying because Rindou has to go clean up your messes and apologize - apologize - to whoever was dumb enough to incur your wrath lest you get into trouble (for the millionth time). You'd never admit it, but you'd stopped directing any of that bxxchiness at him a long time ago.

🌸For anyone that did something wrong to Rindou though? Hell hath no fury like a woman with an ego bigger than Jupiter and a protective instinct for her man.

🌸If Japan has prom, you both would be crowned king and queen. If someone's hosting a party, you both would be the ones rocking the dance floor. If any of this happened, it's because you forced Rindou and he can't say no, however much he grumbles.

🌸First kiss was probably during some heated argument in front of everyone and Rindou claims he only instigated it because he wanted to shut you up. You reveled in the gossip that came with such a scandalous affair but yes, he took you very aback with the “Because I love you, dumbass?!”

🌸(Ran recorded everything and posted it on his super secret fan account following his favorite crack ship, the two of you.)

🌸Rindou doesn’t strike me as the jealous type. He KNOWS, however full of shit you are, you ain’t going to leave him for any of those losers just staring at your ass. To him they’re just minor annoyances, like flies - bothersome, but easily dealt with. Besides, who’s crazy enough to take THE Haitani’s girlfriend?

🌸You don’t get jealous much either, or so you claim. It’s quickly proven false whenever you snap spitefully at any girl who dares to lay a manicured hand on him - you won’t even tolerate your own girlfriends. You’re proud of the fact he’s so attractive, but that makes you even more possessive, because some deep, dark, insecure part of you is afraid he’d leave you for a similar girl, because surely there’s no difference between you and them. Just petty, bratty, arrogant mean girls.

🌸”I’m just going to get this tattooed on you, because for the hundredth time, sweetheart, I’m not going to leave you for some airhead bimbo. You’re more than just a face, and yeah, you really need to get off your high horse sometimes, but I’m still here, aren’t I?”

🌸The sappy moment is ruined when you sniffle and slap him lightly for making you cry and ruin your mascara. Rindou sighs (how many times has he sighed throughout this piece of writing already?)

🌸Average conversation between you and Rindou:

“I’m not surprised he got beat up with that kind of hair…is he trying out a new style from the slums?”

“Mhm. Couldn’t even throw a punch properly.”

“I bet you put him in his place, bae.”

“I’d kill myself if I didn’t.”

🌸And if the person in question overhears?

“Oh…we were just, you know, discussing your ah, state of hair. Bad hair day? Thought so.”

“That black eye really goes well with it, don’t you think?”

“Now that’s why you’re my boyfriend.”

[tinypupp]

warm milk & love .ᐟ🧸🧺

────୨ৎ────

⋆˚🐾˖° ghghh my favourite paci shop is littlestcreations on ig ! they’re supa duper cute nd cheap ! i have lots n lots that dadie very kindly gotted me, they’re all so cute! when i told him about little girl stuff he did lots of research so he could be a good papa nd he spoilt me rotten :3 i love how much he cares about little me he makes me feel so safe ♡

🦝 ᯓᡣ𐭩 he also gotted me a sticker chart for my little corner! if im good nd get all the stickers at the end of every week i get a treat hfmhfm a new paci or bottle or toy nd if i get them for the whole month i get a build a bear UEUEUE

⋆˚🐾˖° it’s to make sure i’m supa well behaved and look after myself too ! i gotta do things like brush my teefs n use my manners n have at least one meal a day 🧺

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

[woso-writing]

Something different

Bethany England x reader

You had been with your fiancé for five years and you never ever thought that you would ever have to deal with him cheating on you, but that is where you found yourself right now. After you had packed enough stuff for you and your daughter, Elouise, you got out of there as quickly as possible. It was hard to have to explain why you were living with auntie Martha to your toddler but at the end of the day I think she was more happy to be getting spoilt by Martha and Ellie all the time to fully care. You however were struggling quite a bit, although you knew you did the right thing and you would never even want to be in the same room as that man again, you didn't know what you were going to do when you would have to move out of Martha's place.

Martha: Come on, come out with us, Ellie is more than happy to watch Elouise.

Y/n: But won't it be a bit weird that you're bringing your sister to team bonding?

Martha: No of course not, the girls will love you, plus you will finally get to meet Beth properly.

Y/n: Marty I have told you to stop teasing me, I don't like her.

Martha: Yeah sure you don't, but no matter, you are coming, be ready.

Y/n: Fine, Ellie are you sure?

Ellie: Of course, I love spending time with my little niece.

Y/n: Ok thank you, Elouise?

Elouise: Yes mummy?

Y/n: Will you be good for auntie Ellie whilst I'm out with auntie Martha?

Elouise: Of course, me always good.

Y/n: I know you are baby, right ok, mummy won't be back before you go to sleep so I'll see you in the morning.

Elouise: Ok mummy.

Martha: Come on Y/n.

You both leave and Martha drives you to her team mates house, you get out the car and make your way in. Martha introduces you and it feels like you've known the girls for a long time, you felt this feeling with one girl in particular, Beth, you and the shorter girl were spending the whole evening together.

It all just kind of happened without you thinking, you and Beth were sat in the kitchen while the other girls played some drinking game, you not being a big drinker deciding to opt out, so Beth said she would sit out with you so that you didn't feel left out. You were sat there getting to know each other more.

"So what do I need to know about the better Thomas sibling"

"Well that was quite flirty miss England" You smirk back at her.

"You complaining about that?"

"Well that was never said was it"

The rest of the evening continues to go like that and then without thinking, as you are talking, both you and Beth lean in and both kiss each other.

"Sorry I didn't think"

"No it's fine, it wasn't a one way thing" You smile back.

"Ok good, but I don't want you to feel pressured, I know you have Elouise to think about first"

"Well aren't you cute, I'm sure El would love to meet you, whenever we watch Martha play you are always the one she points out"

"Aww that's cute, you'll both have to come to our next home game"

"I would love that"

"Does Elouise like dogs?"

"Yeah, she would love these two" You say as you give Beth's dogs a pat on their heads.

"How about we go out tomorrow, it can be a date but we can play it off as Elouise wanting to meet the dogs"

"That sounds great, you'll have to text me"

"Well I might need your number for that, I'm not magic" She says, handing you her phone so you can type your number in.

"Y/n? Oh you're in here" A very drunk Martha comes in.

"Right I think it is time we get you home Marty, thanks for having us Beth, text me yeah?"

"Will do, good luck getting that one home"

"Yeah thanks"

After that you say bye to the rest of Martha's team mates and then get you sister into the car before driving you both back home to hers. You get back and walk in, noticing the tv on which you assume means that Ellie is still up.

"We're home, Marty is just a bit drunk" You say, laughing as you walk into the front room "Oh hello El, what are you doing still up baby?"

"She had a scary dream and didn't want to be alone so I said I would put moana on for her to try and help her calm down, I thought it might help her go back to sleep"

"Ahh fair enough, ok well come on El, do you want to sleep in with mummy tonight"

"Yes please"

"Ok come on then you, good luck with that one Ellie"

You pick Elouise up and walk upstairs to your room, you open your phone once you're in bed and see a message from Beth which gives you and idea, so you message her back and ask if she can call for a bit to which she replies of course and then your phone starts ringing.

"Hey sorry for this, I know that you were probably going to sleep"

"Nah it's ok, what can I help you with?"

"Well I have quite a scared little Elouise here and I thought that maybe you could cheer her up, maybe by showing her the dogs?"

"Of course I can"

"Thanks, baby girl, I have someone on the phone for you" You say turning to your daughter.

"Who is it mummy?" She asks as you turn the phone towards her, "Beth?"

"Hiya kiddo, your mummy has told me that you're a bit scared, what's happened kiddo?"

"I had a scary dream"

"Ahh that sucks kiddo, but I have something that I think might cheer you up"

"What?"

"Well your mummy has told me that you like dogs, is that true?"

"Yeah, but dad always said we couldn't get one" The toddler says.

"That's rubbish, well if you wait one second for me to get downstairs I can show you my dogs, how does that sound?"

"Yes please!"

Beth shows Elouise her dogs and the latter is instantly happier, you just sat there smiling at how good Beth is with your daughter.

"Can we really mummy?" Elouise says, breaking your daydream.

"What was that sorry baby, I was in my own little world there"

"Beth said we could go on a walk with her and her doggies tomorrow"

"Only if you're a good girl for mummy and try to get straight back to sleep now" Beth says.

"Of course we can baby, do you still want to sleep in here?"

"No I ok now, night mummy, night Beffy" Elouise says as she jumps out of your bed to her room.

"Thanks for that Beth"

"Of course, no problem, anything for you" She says, smirking.

"Ok flirty much"

"You love it, right well I should probably let you get off to sleep because I imagine you are going to have quite the early wakeup call, she was very excited with the thought of see the dogs"

"Well thank you for that, ok night, I will see you tomorrow, text me the place and time and we'll be there"

"See you tomorrow beautiful"

After that you both hang up the phone and fall asleep, the next morning you are indeed woken up by a very hyper and excited Elouise, wanting to meet Beth and her dogs properly.

[cutiecusp]

Spoilt (Forbidden Fruit Part 2)

As i loved Ex husband Simon, and so did you guys, i thought i would write a back story to this

I imagined these two as 'rushed to get married young' types (early 20s/mid 20s) and it took its toll.

TW. Angst, heartbreak, smut, mentions of death (Simons job) divorce. And a WHOLE lot of words!

You stood there with baited breath. Simons return, his return to you, always used to give butterflies, now it felt like a heavy weight in your stomach.

What version of him would you get this time? Loving, desperate for your touch? or cold, unfeeling Simon, who hides away in the study until he gets the phone call out again.

You knew what you were getting into, marrying a military man. But you weren't aware of how much it hurt. You were just grateful you had no children that had to suffer.

Your thoughts were broken by the sound of heavy boots on concrete. He looked tired, but he had a small smile on his face, reserved just for you. The weight in your heart simmered as you run to him, wrapping your arms around him as you pull him down for a kiss, your soul calm for the first time in months.

He softly pulls away, and rests his forehead against yours.

"Missed y'love." you hear him whisper against your skin. His fingers tracing over your shoulders before settling under your chin, gently making you look up at him.

"Missed me?" he asks gruffly. He knew his deployments were hard on you, and things had been different this time. You hadn't been able to talk to each other, messages were few and far between.

You nod, a sweet smile forcefully plastered on your face.

"Yeah, babe. Of course."

And that's when the lies began.

"I told you i was going out!" Simon yells through the house.

"You knew Soap and Gaz had plans for the pub." He continues, his loud voice filling the room as he finds you in the kitchen.

"Simon, you knew we were going to sit down for dinner." you say coldly, a numbness flits over you.

Its been two days, and you are already fighting. Again.

"I just need to get out, love." He explains.

"This domestic shit, i just can't-"

"Can't or won't." You throw back at him.

Your body radiating anger as you feel your heart break. Again.

"You spend all your time with them. Why did you even marry me?"

He looks at the hurt in your features. The face that once smiled up at him is now cold, numb. The lips that used to press against his were turned down and bloody from being bitten too much. The body that he used to find solace in now closed off.

The anniversaries, birthdays, family dinners he had missed, the holidays you attended alone, not even knowing if he was safe, it all shows on the surface.

He sighs.

"Its n' like that love." He tries to reason. His gait closing the gap between you two.

"I love you." He says, his arms coming up to soothe you, to bring you back to him.

You soften in his arms, a little hesitantly, but your eyes meet his, and you allow him to press kisses along your throat and up to your lips.

You feel his body press against yours, and your wall slowly lowers as you wrap your arms around him, pulling him close.

"M' sorry, love." He murmurs against you, his voice low and gruff.

You two are disturbed by his phone ringing, he pulls away slowly, keeping his eyes on you.

"Yeah?" He bites into the phone. You flinch, for all the fighting you did, rarely did Simon bring Ghost home.

"I'll be ready in the morning." You hear him say, and your heart sinks.

Leaving, again.

He hangs up, and turns to you.

"I'm out tomorrow morning, Russia this time." he explains.

He brushes a hand through his hair.

"This is the worst timing. Lets stay in, yeah? I want to be with you." He says softly, pulling you to him again.

You give in, the argument forgotten alongside the dinner, as you lose yourselves in each other into the early hours of the morning.

He was up earlier than you when the sun broke through, his eyes trailing over your body.

He missed you long before he left, but he couldn't communicate that with you. He knew things had gotten worse, even if you had semi patched things over last night. He knew you were checking out, and as much as that terrified him, he couldn't blame you. He often came home a different man. He knew he was losing you, but he didn't know how to make you stay. The job was his life.

He pulls away from your warmth, before pressing a kiss to your forehead, and heading out.

The only trace of him you see when you wake up is the cool sheets and empty house.

And your heart breaks for the last time.

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It had been three months, and the contact with Simon was minimal, you had sent divorce papers to the base, and you knew it was a matter of time before he found them.

Month four came and went, without any contact at all, until one night you receive a phone call as you were heading to bed.

"Hello?" you say softly into the receiver.

"Y' a coward," You hear a familiar deep voice on the other end, steeped in alcohol.

"Simon?" You ask, frowning.

"Y' wear my ring, yet you couldn't give me the papers yourself, waited until i was deployed." He slurs.

"I thought it would have been easier." You defend, your walls heavily guarded.

"Easier for who?" He exclaims. You feel the controlled anger down the phone.

"Was it not enough for you? Was i-" He pauses.

"Was i not enough for you?" He says quietly.

You sit in silence for a few moments, allowing his words to settle.

"I guess i just needed a husband, not a soldier. I thought i knew what i was getting into, but i was wrong. You can take it all, Simon. i just don't want to hurt us anymore."

You hear a dark chuckle down the phone.

"Hurt us? Fuck you sweetheart."

And all you hear is the dial tone as he hangs up.

-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*----

A week later, you come back to find his things missing from the house, his life efficiently packed and removed from the home you once shared.

You hear heavy footsteps on the floor, and unlike before, this fills your heart with dread.

"Jus' dropping my keys back." You hear Simon say, and although every part of you is urging you to turn around and face him, you are afraid of what you might see, so you keep your gaze on the floor.

"Look at me, love." he says gruffly, and your eyes snap to his. Simon is holding a cream envelope.

"You know i thought about not signing it." He says, watching your eyes widen.

"But i couldn't be cruel. Never to you." He attempts a small smile, but it comes out as a grimace.

You take the envelope with shaky hands. This was it. What you had asked for, a relief from being a soldiers wife. So why did your heart feel so heavy?

"Si-" You start to say, stepping closer.

He towers over you, his gaze questioning. HIs broad shoulders hunched as if he was holding himself back, his jaw tight.

"I'm off to Mexico tomorrow" He says instead.

"I wanted to see you once more before i left."

You sighed, the envelope a heavy burden in your hands.

"Good luck out there." Is all you can reply, your heart racing in your chest.

He nods and brushes a kiss on top of your head. His lips make contact with your hair for a few seconds, and you feel the weight of the promise on your crown.

"Take care of yourself, yeah?" His voice is unusually emotional as he turns to pick up his duffel bag.

You wait until hes in the car and driven down the road before you fall to your knees, sobs choking you as you throw the envelope as far as you could, the sound of it hitting the floor the only relief from your tears racking through your body.

-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*----

Summer had been and gone, and you wallowed. Deep down, you knew this is what was best for you both, but god did it hurt.

You knew he was back on home soil, you stalked Soaps social media until you found a picture of three glasses at a pub, a gloved hand in the corner of the screen.

The girls had tried to get you out, but you stayed home with takeouts and films until you decided enough was enough. It had been months, and you were finally ready to let your hair down.

And you were sure Simon must have moved on too.

Pulling a few dresses from your closet, you ring Stacey, your best friend.

"Still doing birthday drinks tonight?"

At her confirmation, you choose a dress that you left hidden in the back of the wardrobe, fish out a pair of heels and swipe some lipstick on before getting your bag ready.

Meeting up with the girls was cathartic, the music a little loud, but the drinks were flowing and the vibe was great.

You flick out your phone, and take a selfie of you in your dress before uploading it to social media.

Little did you know that picture was going to change your life.

a/n Sorry its so long, i started writing a hour ago and i just couldn't get these guys out of my head! Hope this ties these two up! I loved exploring them both x

@misshugs @frudoo @thevoiceinyourheadx @xoxunhinged @muneca-lemon-steppa @yesornowaitidontknow @shadowdark00

[hollowed-theory-hall]

What are your thoughts on drarry?

spireasalix asked:

Hi! I just found your blog and find your theories really interesting. I don't know if anyone has asked you before, but what do you think of Draco Malfoy? Do you think he would have a chance with Harry? Could they fall in love or there is too much history between them? Let's make Harry/Draco canon! Hahahaha

Hi, thank you so much! 😊

Since it's a ship/character ask I want to preface that everyone can ship what they want and like whatever characters they want and this is my personal highly subjective opinion.

I'll start with my thoughts on Drarry, as I had an arc there, like, back when I just got into the fandom I really liked the concept of Drarry, so I read some Drarry and didn't like most of what I found back then. That dislike kinda colored Drarry and Draco's character as a whole for me, so it was kinda like: "I can see the appeal on paper, but I don't like it". More recently though I read a lot about canon Drarry from @iamnmbr3 and she honestly got me rethinking my opinion on Draco and Drarry.

As I stand on it now, I'm not invested in Drarry, but I see them occasionally on my dash and sometimes I like what I see. It's the: yeah, I can see it happen, but it's not a pairing I'm passionate about.

Now, to @spireasalix more specific questions.

Draco Malfoy is an interesting character in theory but I don't think it comes across in the books as much as it could. Like, in books 1-5, I find him an annoying spoilt little brat. It can be entertaining when he comes on the page, and I know he'd be whining and dramatic and make a scene. And it makes sense Draco is this way, he's an only child of very rich parents who love him, he looks up to his father like Lucius could do no wrong, but he is lonely and attention-seeking. This need for attention is interesting and is part of why he is so obsessed with Harry. It shows he wants approval and is actually quite insecure under all his pride and mean attitude. He was raised to be a blood-supremacist spoilt jerk, and he does a decent job at being a schoolyard bully without crossing any super major lines.

Younger Draco can be a fun character, he's a problem Harry feels comfortable with because he knows how to deal with him, unlike his other problems (of which he has a lot). I think part of why Harry focuses on Draco as much as he does is because Draco is a predictable problem, one Harry feels he has control over how he wants to deal with him. Which is comforting considering how little control he has over literally every other area of his life.

Then in books 6 and 7, that's when Draco starts actually having his character development, and there are interesting things there, or the potential for them. I love what he goes through, becoming a Death eater only to realize, that: no, he can't really do violence. The constant fear for himself and his family, the torture he most likely goes through, being a prisoner in his own home, like, there is so much potential good angst there but I don't feel like the books really take it as far as it can go.

I recently finished my reread of HBP, and Draco in it was having a crap time, truly. He partially brought it on himself, but he really was thrown into the deep end and he is flailing around to keep his head above water regretting ever asking to leave the kiddie pool (because make no mistake, he asked to be in the grown-ups' pool). And you see how he matures there, going from a spoilt brat to a terrified teen. In one summer he went from the top of his own little world to seeing how powerless he actually is. And, like, out of everyone, the person he apparently confides in is Moaning Myrtle, like, idk, I love that, I think this friendship should be mentioned more. Like, Draco is having a crisis over his family, his worldview, his own worth, being a Death Eater and what it means, and his confidant is the ghost of a muggleborn girl who Tom Riddle, his new master, killed. Like, there are some implications.

I find it fascinating Myrtle says this about Draco:

“No,” said Myrtle defiantly, her voice echoing loudly around the old tiled bathroom. “I mean he’s sensitive, people bully him too, and he feels lonely and hasn’t got anybody to talk to, and he’s not afraid to show his feelings and cry!”

(HBP, 462)

That combined with the fact that Draco doesn't ever really try to harm Harry too badly (@iamnmbr3 wrote many great posts about this). Like, at the beginning of HBP, he has Harry petrified and he just breaks his nose. And this is already after he becomes a Death Eater. He also helps Harry multiple times throughout Deathly Hollows, something that places him and his family at risk.

And, yes, he makes some attempts to kill Dumbledore that harm others (the cursed necklace that hurt Katie Bell and the poison Ron drank) but I think the methods he uses are telling. Draco attempts to kill Dumbledore with methods where he himself is far away from the action. You can say it's due to a Slytherin sense of self-preservation, and that's part of it, I'm sure, but I think the main part of it is that Draco is averse to violence. At the end when he was face to face with Dumbledore he couldn't bring himself to cast the curse. Dumbledore was disarmed and surrounded, there was nothing he could've (or would've) done to hurt Draco, but Draco still hesitated. He couldn't kill him even when his own life and his family's were on the line. Harry also talks about how much Draco is likely hurt from having to torture others on Voldemort's orders in Deathly Hollows, and I think Harry is spot on about it.

If we look at the bullying of younger Draco, he doesn't act out violently. He is the cruel words and insults type, and I remember being honestly surprised he physically hit Harry in HBP because it's not the sort of thing Draco does. So, while Draco as schoolyard bully is mean, he practically is never shown to be physically violent, at least not that I remember. He only starts being more of a physical threat in HBP, and in the cases of Ron and Katie, he does so from a distance in a way he isn't directly involved in the violence.

That being said, while what he goes through is interesting and has plenty of potential and I do like his character, I find him kinda annoying. Like, in my very subjective opinion, I find his whining in the early books incredibly annoying and I find him, even in the later books, kinda underwhelming. Like, I want more out of his character, idk. Like, really, all power to you for liking Draco, he just, unfortunately, doesn't make it into my top Harry Potter characters purely because of personal subjective bias.

Like, for all of Draco being a Slytherin from a long line of Slytherins, he doesn't showcase many Slytherin characteristics (yes, that's something I dislike about his character, go figure 🤷‍♀️). Like, Draco isn't cunning, like, at all. He's smart, I'm not saying he isn't, he gets good and even outstanding grades in various school subjects, and he fixes the vanishing cabinet he knows nothing about on his own. He is skilled and talented magically and he can figure out complex magic on his own, but when it comes to long-term planning or general cunning... yeah, I don't think that's part of Draco's arsenal.

He acts out on useful information on the first opportunity he has, with very little thought about timing or how to best use it and very little forethought in general. In 1st year he gets Harry and Co caught outside after curfew but doesn't think his plan through so he too, is caught out after curfew. And sure, he's 11, but 11-year-old Harry wouldn't have made that mistake, I think (neither would Ron or Hermione). In 3rd year, his plan against Buckbeak and Hagrid was laughable and only worked because Lucius could pull it off. I mean, Draco wasn't even doing a good job at faking an injury compared to Harry who could believably pretend to be the Bloody Baron to scare off Peeves at 11, not to mention lying reliably to McGonagall at 12. In GoF he makes these Potter stinks badges, which are magically impressive (considering they still work 3 years later) but are again, an example of Draco acting on something immediately because that's how he tends to operate. Like how he goes straight to Harry every time he finds something in the Daily Prophet to make fun of.

Even if we look at Draco's later plans, like in HBP, he was mostly trying to buy plans rather than think about how to solve his problem. Because Draco knows how to buy his way out of problems, not think his way out. And while all this does make for an interesting trait for him to have in his rule in the story and he has an invisible arc to break away from this thinking pattern and that does lead him to the vanishing cabinet eventually, it does make me like him less. I'm biased, I can't help it.

His ambition is another thing, I don't know if this is an unpopular opinion, but I don't think Draco is particularly ambitious. Like, he wants to make his parents (especially Lucius) proud, he wants people to like him, and he wants to be popular, sure, but he doesn't have any long-term plans or specific goals in mind. He grew up already having everything, so he doesn't really have any ambitions bigger than that. I'm not saying there needs to be, Harry isn't particularly ambitious either, it's just interesting to me that our poster Slytherin in Harry's year isn't that much of a Slytherin at all.

As I mentioned earlier, Draco also seems to be averse to violence and doesn't have as much of a ruthless streak as his house is usually associated with. Draco, at the end of the day, seems to me like a very sheltered kid who idolized war when he heard about it in stories up until he had to actually take part in it. He is one of the softer characters in the books actually, in my opinion.

While I think he definitely values the traits of house Slytherin as he grew up learning to appreciate them, he doesn't actually possess them, at least, not in abundance. Maybe this is an unpopular opinion, but honestly, I think Draco is more of a Gryffindor than a Slytherin considering he is brave (in the last book especially. I want to note he isn't the same brave as Harry. Draco fears a lot more than Harry does, but when push comes to shove, he keeps going despite his fear. He's more similar to Neville in that regard), bold, and definitely has his personal code of honor and chivalry he acts according to, but I digress.

My personal issue with Draco is the main issue I have with Drarry as a ship, because, like, I can't be actively invested in a ship when I find one of the characters annoying. I have a similar stance on Romione as I have on Drarry. I like Romione well enough, I enjoy the fanart of them I see, but I wouldn't actively search for fics of them. Neither would I write fics where they are the main pairing. In Romione's case, I love Ron but find Hermione kinda annoying, I don't hate her, I don't even dislike her, I actually like her, but she annoys me. Draco is the same way, I like him, but he just gets on my nerves sometimes.

To summarise, I see the appeal of Drarry, and I can see how it could work on paper. I don't think Harry and Draco ever truly hated each other in the books, so, yeah, I think they could get together. They could definitely forgive each other everything, hell, the books practically outright say they forgive each other everything in canon. I think you can build a very compelling love story for them, it's just not a story I'm invested in reading/writing mostly because Draco isn't a character that I'm overly invested in.