#spock imagines

[chasingstardustandmoonbeams]

Once More Masterlist (In progress)

Description: It was almost maddening. Repeating the same day over and over again. Waking, dying, waking, on and on again until you nearly spiraled. Or at least you would have if it wasn't for him. There was no one you could turn to outside of each other. You had only yourself, him, and the endless loop that trapped you both.

*updated 12/6/24*

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Because I don’t know when I will update due to work I’ve created a taglist here

Soundtrack to the fic

[mybullshitsensesaretingling]

A Vulcan Smile Part Seven

[Part One] [Part Two] [Part Three] [Part Four] [Part Five] [Part Six]

Jim looked up from his computer as the door to his ready room swished open. He had stolen away to the ship to get some much-needed quiet to review his notes before his next meeting. A quiet he was surprised to see emanating from his best friend as he made his way across the room. 

Leonard typically preferred to make his presence in a room known, entering with a joke or a complaint or some kind of combination of the two. Now he took a seat across from Jim in complete silence. The captain looked him over, trying to identify where this change was coming from. He wore crumpled shirt and an unreadable expression.

"Is that the same uniform as yesterday?" Jim finally asked. 

"Didn't have time to change."

"You've been off duty for twelve hours, Bones. How long does it take? You wear the same thing everyday," Jim pointed out.

"I was helping Joanna with her homework and then," Leonard's voice dropped slightly, "I was with (Y/N)."

Jim’s brows raised. "Were you?"

"Apologizing," Leonard clarified. 

"And what did you do that required you to apologize all night long?" Jim's words tiptoed around innuendo. 

"Joanna was suspended for starting a fight."

"So you were apologizing for your part in bringing another angry McCoy into the universe," Jim guessed. 

"I didn't react well to the news," Leonard admitted. "Started a fight of my own." 

"That doesn't sound like you," Jim said sarcastically. 

“I blamed her. Told her that Joanna was picking up violant tendencies from her,” Leonard explained. 

Jim let out a disappointed breath. He didn’t know you well, but he had heard so much about you through long winded, sporadic rants from Leonard that he could guess how well that went over. He certainly knew enough about people in general to know that wasn’t something you said to someone who cared gor your child. 

“She blamed me. Told me Joanna was acting out because she’s hurt that I left and doesn’t know how to express it.” Leonard slumped back in the chair. “Apparently I don’t put in enough effort as a father.” 

“Well,” Jim started pointedly. He raised his brows and tilted his head, hoping if he made a strong enough facial expression he wouldn’t have to finish the thought out loud.

“When were you planning to tell me you though I was a bad father?” 

Jim let out a breathy chuckle at his friends dramatics. “I don’t think you’re a bad father. I think that (Y/N) spends a lot of time with Joanna and if she thinks she’s feeling a little abandoned then she might know what she’s talking about.” 

Leonard sighed. “I know.”

“What are you going to do about it?” 

“I already apologized.” 

This earned Leonard a look that told him he needed to do better than that.  

“I suppose I don’t really have a choice.” 

“Not if you ever want to be able to respect yourself again.” 

Leonard groaned and rubbed a hand across his face. “I’m not cut out for this.” 

“You said the same thing the first time you had to work on a ship. Now look at you.” 

“Now look at me,” Leonard repeated in a defeated tone.

“You know-” Jim waited until his friend was looking at him again to finish, “Centaurus isn’t that far out of our way.” 

“Oh no.” Leonard shook his head and held up a hand. “This ship is on red alert every other thursday. My eleven year old isn’t going to be involved in that.” 

“We’d be taking a similar course to the shuttle. Any dangers we run into they’d probably run into too. Wouldn’t you prefer she run into them with you?” 

“I’d rather she not be in space at all, but seeing as I wasn’t given a choice in that…” Leonard trailed of, thinking it over. “You wouldn’t mind the detour?” 

“Not at all.” 

“You know letting my daughter and Spock’s sister loose on this ship might lead to more chaos than we’re prepared for.” 

Jim shook his head. “Spock’s gonna hate this.” 

“You don’t have to convice me, Jim. I’m alread on board.” 

-

“Tell me again,” Leonard ordered as he walked with Joanna to the Enterprise. 

“The warp core, jefferies tubes, and bridge are off limits. If red lights start flashing I am to stay in my room. If I hear the word ‘anomoly’ over the comms, I am to find you in the sickbay. If I see more than five people in uniform running in the halls I am to find Ms. Grayson and wait for the all clear. No wandering the halls or entering the recreation deck or holodeck alone. No fun of any kind,” Joanna rattled off. 

“Good. Stick to those rules and you should make it back home in one piece.” 

“Can’t I have a little fun?” 

“Being a passenger on the Enterprise is-” 

“Not a reward for punching my classmate even if he is a shithead and desereved it,” she parroted the words he’d used when he explained the arrangement to her. “I’ve gotten like two lectures a day since I was suspended, thrown up on during a shuttle ride here, and given four times the calc homework I would normally have. Haven’t I been punished enough?” 

“We’re not punishing you. We’re making sure you’ve learned your lesson. We don’t want you to turn into a violent drop out with no direction in life and a long arrest record.” 

“You’re say ‘we’ a lot about you and Ms. Grayson,” she pointed out. 

“Oh look! Lieutenant Uhura.” Leonard quickly changed the subject, coming to a stop outside the air lock where the Lieutenant was standing. “Waiting for Spock?” 

“He’s just saying goodbye.” She nodded over to where he stood with you and Serek. 

“Good might be a stretch,” Leonard mumbled. 

“Who are they talking to?” Joanna asked. 

“The Vulcan ambassador,” Nyota answered. 

“They don’t seem to like him.” 

“It’s a complicated relationship,” she said, watching the three of you hold up Vulcan salutes. 

As the ambassador turned and boarded another ship, you folded down you pinky and ring finger and lifted your raised fingers to your temple. Your head jerked to the side as you pretended to shoot yourself in the head. To Leonard's suprise, Spock used his hand to wipe your imaginary blood from the side of his face. 

The two of you walked in silence to meet the others. You both had your hands clasped behind your back, but as you got closer yours moved to swing at your side. 

Uhura watched the way Leonard smiled and then stiffened awkwardly as you approached.

“Come on let’s get out of here before Spock and I are used as a visual aid in another debate about the future of the Vulcan race,” you said when you reach them. “If I get called V’tosh ka’tur one more time, I’m going to start throwing things.” 

“That kind of behavior is exactly why they call you V’tosh ka’tur,” Spock pointing out.

“Don’t call your sister a Vulcan without logic, Spock,” Uhura chastised. 

“Thank you. Wanting to throw things at those stuffy, xenophobic elders is completely logical,” you argued. “And besides they call you V’tosh ka’tur too.” 

Spock mouth dropped open. “I am not V’tosh ka’tur. I follow the ancestral teachings.” 

“But you stink like a human.” 

“You are using nasal supresants. You don’t know what I smell like.” 

Leonard leaned forward and took a wiff. “No, she’s right. Just like a human.” 

You smiled at the doctor. “This is going to be a fun little trip.” 

Joanna grinned. Spock’s jaw tightened.

[blanc-ci]

Spock just wants to be certain that’s still his captain in there… no other reason… yknow you can never be too careful

Design inspired by @papanowo makeup and piercings were suuuch a good idea

[trek-tracks]

Come on, Spock, what mysterious relative is it this time?

[mischievous-thunder]

Did Wade really think that Logan was going to let him do this? All alone?

This was the very moment when realisation came crashing down on both of them that they wouldn't be able to live without each other. So, they saved the world together and in turn saved their souls.

[wwillywonka]

"A lie?" "An error."

Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country

[basoogil]

yeah

[its-always-sunny-in-city17]

they'll transport just about anything on here!

[n0ahsferatu]

my dear friend @marlenacantswim asked me to draw the TOS yaoi polycule and i want you to know this is what the whole show is like to me

[daytimedrinking]

technically finished on this side of the world, but Happy Amok Time Day to all who celebrate, i literally cannot believe they let kirk and spock dry hump each other on the sands of vulcan on national television in 1967 but boy am i glad they did

[chasingstardustandmoonbeams]

Once More (III)

A/N: I would like to thank Star Trek: Short Treks for giving me permission to have Spock laugh and smile. I did so much research for this, it's not even funny. I must have stared at the Enterprise schematics for a full hour.

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: None (unless you count minimal proof reading)

Masterlist & Playlist

Side by side you walked with Spock through the Enterprise hallways. You weren’t quite sure where you wanted to go, you just knew you’d be damned if you lived through another routine loop again. You chewed on your lip, there were so many endless possibilities in front of you right now. The part that you still had yet to wrap your head around was that none of it mattered. No matter what you did with Spock, you’d simply reset as if none of it ever happened. Just an endless Thursday. Over and over again until the end of time itself. 

At least you weren’t alone. At least you had Spock. Spock who always seemed to escape you and capture you all at once. Trying to figure out Spock was almost as maddening as trying to figure out what was causing the loop. 

“What destination did you have in mind?” Spock asked gently, his gaze on you as he matched your stride. It was so hard for you to imagine how he was feeling. Did he feel helpless like you? Was he anxious about finding a way to end this? 

“Rec room?” You questioned. You weren’t sure why you said it - being on the Enterprise didn’t leave you with very many options. 

“Are you inquiring or stating?” He cocked his head to the side, eyebrow arching. He was teasing you as only Spock knew how. 

You let out a snort, your gaze on Spock as the corner of his mouth twitched. “Stating. Come on, I doubt there’s a crowd. Alpha shift is up and running and beta should be heading to bed soon.“

Spock simply nodded at you following your lead. You both found an empty corner in the rec room. You didn’t miss the odd looks from some of the crew. You understood for the most part. You and Spock weren’t necessarily seen together outside of the odd job or two. Though it wasn’t for lack of trying - at least on the part of Erica andUhura’s. Your two friends often meddle in a way that leaves you more perplexed than you’d like to admit. 

Sitting across from Spock, you anxiously began to drum your fingers. There were too many thoughts racing through your head. You had been trying your best to hold it together. You knew there were at least five loops where you had become a total asshole to everyone around you. Spock, of course, had never wavered. His eyes landed on your hands, his eyebrow raising in question. 

“Are you alright, Lieutenant?” The words left his mouth so softly, that you nearly found yourself crying. It was too much - it was all too much. 

You paused the drumming of your fingers, a beat passed before you let out a humorless laugh. “I’m fine, Spock, really.” The last thing you needed was for Spock to think you couldn’t handle yourself. 

“Fine has variable definitions, Lieutenant. I would not consider fine an acceptable term for our situation.” 

Spock had a way of surprising you. He always had. You ran a hand over your face letting out a breath, “I’m…hanging by a very thin thread,” you sighed. “I need a break. I need to not think about the anomaly or the loop. I want…” your voice drifted. You weren’t sure what you wanted. 

“What do you want, Lieutenant?” Spock had gradually leaned forward, his chest now pressed against the side of the table. 

“I want you to stop calling me, Lieutenant, Spock,” you said, a smile appearing on your face. “I think after everything we’ve been through so far we can dispense with the formalities.”

You watched Spock, there was something there, an emotion at the surface that you couldn’t quite register. 

“That would be acceptable,” he paused, “Y/N”. The corner of his mouth tugged slightly upwards, it would be nearly imperceptible to anyone who was not paying attention. You found yourself wanting nothing more than to emit the response again. 

Smiling as you sat back in your seat, your mind reeling with the thought of knowing more, more about him,  “Can I ask you a question?” 

“Anything.” He said it so simply, so matter of factly that it almost took your breath away. You could almost hear Uhura and Erica muttering about how you and Spock try to talk more. There had been a conspiracy between the two of them that you were never able to get to the bottom of. 

“How do you feel about all of this? I know my emotions are more on the surface, but I can’t -” You hesitated, “This is selfish, but I need to not feel so alone.” 

Spock’s eyes met yours before his gaze drifted. “I am unsure of how to proceed,” he paused, “I worry for the safety of the crew and for you.” 

“Thank you,” you breathed. Spock gave you a simple nod in response. You found yourself leaning forward on the table, arms loosely crossed in front of you. “You know, I really didn’t think you’d agree to playing hooky with me.”

“Playing hooky?” 

“Ditching our jobs to do absolutely nothing meaningful,” you shrugged your shoulders. 

Spock leaned forward slightly across the table, “I do not believe I would categorize our interactions as having no meaning.” 

You made a face to let him know you doubted his meaning, “I’m sure there are at least twenty people you would have rather gotten stuck with than me.”

“On the contrary, while I would rather neither of us be in this situation, I am grateful for your company.” 

Instinct told you to deny, to argue that he would rather be with Chapel, La’an, Una, or Captain Pike. Instead you fought the instinct and gave him a small smile. “I’m glad I’m with you too, Spock.” 

Your answer seemed to satisfy him in some way, “Do you have other suggestions on how to best spend our time?” 

You let out another laugh that left Spock confused, “My plan is to have no plan.” 

“That would be counterintuitive,” he reasoned. 

“Yes, but considering our last twenty odd plans have literally and figuratively blown up in our faces, I think maybe going with the flow might work in our favor.” 

He paused, you could almost see the wheels turning in his head, “That is an acceptable premise.” 

“So-” 

“Lieutenant L/N there you are!” You watched as one of your engineering crew members, Kyle, briskly walked towards you both. 

“You ready to run?” You quickly got up from your seat. 

“Run?” 

“I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to spend the rest of this loop in the brig.” 

“Lieutenant!” 

Spock gently stood up from his seat, pushing in his chair. “What is the destination?” 

Your smile only grew wider, “Just follow me.”

Spock nodded at you. Both of you began your sprint out of the rec room. Faintly, you could hear both of your names being called. You could feel Spock matching your stride beside you. By nature you knew he was faster than you, still, he matched your speed. 

You felt free for the first time in a long while, your smile never leaving your face. You dodged and weaved your way through the sparse crowds in the hallways. You made your way to the turbolift, your own anxiety rising as you made your way inside. 

You looked at Spock now, he gave you a reassuring nod as you both walked into the turbolift. Gently you pressed the handle, “Deck 21.”

“Clarify,” Spock was looking at you in utter confusion. 

“When’s the last time you went bowling?” You leaned against the side of the turbolift. 

“I do not recall utilizing the bowling alley.” 

“Perfect,” you smiled, standing straight as the doors opened. 

Wordlessly, Spock followed you to the bowling alley. Of the six lanes, only one was occupied. There was a small group of ensigns huddled together to the farthest wall. Generic 20th century music echoed through the room. 

You spun to face Spock, “Tell me, Spock, have you ever bowled before?” 

Spock’s gaze flicked between you and the bowling balls. “I cannot say that I have, though I am familiar with the rules.” 

“I’ll go easy on you,” you smirked. You went first, carefully selecting a bowling ball before setting yourself up in front of the lane. You could hear cheers coming from the other side of the room as ensigns began high fiving each other in celebration of their game. 

“Be the ball,” you whispered. 

“I do not understand. How can one be the ball? It is not a sentient being.” 

You let out a sigh, “Figure of speech Spock, now please, shush,” you paused, “I need to focus,” you breathed out before releasing the ball. You watched as the ball rolled nearly perfectly straight down the middle of the lane. You successfully knocked down all of the pins save for one. 

You picked your ball back up and knocked your final pin over. You turned smiling facing Spock. “Your turn,” you encouraged, watching as he tilted his head to the side examining each ball before picking one. 

Spock stood rigid in the center of the lane, he simply stared at the pins in front of him for a minute before he swung his arm back to release the ball. You watched as the ball rolled perfectly down the center before knocking down all of the pins. 

“What? How did you- you’ve never bowled before?” You sat baffled on one of the chairs as Spock walked towards you. 

“I used simple geometry to calculate entry angle and its impact on pin deflection.” 

You stared gaping at him, “Did you,” you blinked, “did you just hustle me, Spock?” 

“I believe that to hustle you I need to have lied about my skills at bowling. As I have never played the game before I would not consider this swindling you.” 

You got up from your chair, grabbing your bowling ball. You turned to look at him, “Just you wait, by loop one hundred, I’ll be taking you for all your money.” 

“I am not sure that would be sufficient time for you to succeed.”

You spinned around to look at him, eyes wide. “Now you’re trash talking me?” You said in disbelief. You nearly found yourself laughing. He was staring at you with the straightest face imaginable, but his eyes, oh his eyes told you a different story. 

“I am simply stating that your current skills would need more practice.” 

“I see,” you bit your lip to hide your grin. “Well, we’ll just have to see about that now, won’t we?” You brought the ball up to your face before swinging it back and bringing it forward. You watched as you got a perfect strike. 

With a bounce in your step you walked directly in front of Spock who sat with his eyebrow raised. You leaned down a bit to better meet his eye level, “Don’t hustle the hustler,” you teased before taking a seat across from him. 

“Indeed,” he replied. He stood walking to retrieve his own ball. You watched as Spock got another perfect strike. “Perhaps we are a better a match than I had anticipated.” 

You found your mouth had gone a bit dry at the thought, “Oh, we’re just getting started,” you said softly before getting your ball. “I will win.” 

“I expect nothing less than your best effort,” he replied. 

On and on you went, one strike after the next. You tried not to let your minder wander, though Spock had a way of distracting you in ways that you weren’t used to. There was one goal and one only, win. Your life was full of nothing but loss lately, but this? This you could win. 

It was the final game, if Spock got another strike it would be a tied game. After he bowled a perfect game you couldn’t see how he wouldn’t get another strike. 

Spock spared you a glance before he let his final ball go. You watched the ball veer left going straight into the gutter. He quickly collected his ball and managed to only knock down five pins.

You jumped up from your seat in disbelief. “Did you just-?”

“I miscalculated the trajectory,” he said simply before sitting down. “I believe your next turn determines the winner.” 

“Spock, I’ve never seen you ever miscalculate anything,” you sputtered. 

“It is illogical to believe I can never make mistakes.” 

You looked at him, trying to find any tell that he was lying. You squinted at him before finally acquiescing. You lined your ball up and watched with bated breath as you got a strike. You screamed jumping up and down. 

“I won! Oh my God, I won!” 

“Well, played,” Spock stood behind you giving you the barest hint of a smile. 

“You totally threw the game so I could win, didn’t you?” 

“I lost fairly,” he stated, “I believe it is time for our midday meal.” 

You sighed, “Yeah, okay.” 

You followed Spock from the turbolift to the mess hall. Both of you walking towards the replicators. You were making your way over to Spock, when you were suddenly yanked backwards. 

“And just where the hell have you been?” 

You stared wide eyed at Erica. Unsure exactly what to say. 

“Engineering has been looking everywhere for you,” she squinted at you, “Well, you and Spock.” You watched as her face went from confusion to questioning to disbelief. “Were you - were you playing hooky with Spock?” 

“Um,” you hesitated. 

“You, you actually got Spock, Vulcan rule follower, Spock to ditch work?” 

“Well…”

“I knew it!” 

“Knew what?” 

“Oh, no, Uhura is going to want to hear this too.” Erica steered you towards a table where Uhura sat sipping her soup. 

“Hey, what’s-” 

“Y/N was playing hooky with Spock,” Erica rushed out. 

Uhura’s eyes went wide. Her gaze drifted behind you and back to your face. “That explains why Spock is just staring over here. He actually looks a bit…well a bit like a kicked puppy. What happened?”

“Nothing, nothing happened. We just…went bowling.” 

“Bowling,” Erica repeated. “Is that a new code for-” 

“No!” You cried out shrinking a bit as you got stares from the crew around you. “We literally were bowling…I won, not that it matters.” 

Erica and Uhura looked at each other before turning back to face you, “What brought this on?” 

“I can’t say,” you mumbled. 

“What do you mean you can’t say?” Erica questioned. 

“I literally can’t say.” 

“We won’t say anything, this is just between us,” Uhura said softly. “It’s just, well, we’ve noticed a bit of a…” 

“Connection,” Erica offered. 

“I was going to go with tension, but that works too.” 

“What are you two on about?” You argued. 

“That’s why we’ve been trying to get you and Spock to hang out more. There are these, I don’t know, lingering looks between the two of you.” 

“What?” You stammered, “There are no lingering looks between Spock and I.” 

“Oh, yes there are,” Erica urged. “So again, what has got the two of you playing hooky?” 

“I can’t,” you insisted. 

“Oh, come on, we’re your best friends.” 

“I can’t-” 

“Just tell us.”

“I really-” 

“Just-” 

You stood up harshly from your seat, “Fine!” You could feel the entire mess hall looking at you. “Spock and I are stuck in a time loop!” 

“What are you-” 

Alarms began to blare throughout the Enterprise. 

“Shit,” you sighed, sitting down and putting your head down on the table. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You knocked on the door timidly. Spock opened the door and looked down at you. 

“Okay,” you sighed, “That one was on me.” 

Spock gave you a look that made you run your hands over your face in frustration. Spock turned to the side allowing you entry into his room. 

“May I inquire as to what prompted you to tell Lieutenant Ortegas and Ensign Uhura about our situation?”

You could feel heat rushing towards you face, you quickly turned away from Spock and looked anywhere but him. 

“Uh,” you started, “They were just asking me a bunch of questions. I got a bit overwhelmed and it kind of just…slipped out.” 

“It slipped out?” 

“Mhmm,” you replied, your eyes locking on the Vulcan lute in the corner. “I didn’t know you played,” you said softly, your eyes finally meeting his. 

“I find it helps me to work through difficult problems,” he stated. 

“Has it helped with figuring out the anomaly?” 

���No, it has not.” 

“Would you…would you play something for me?” You weren’t sure what made you ask. You never in a million years would have just straight asked Spock anything like this, but now - now things were different. At least in the loop. 

He nodded his head before retrieving his lute. Spock took a seat, following his lead you took a seat next to him. You watched as Spock delicately plucked the strings, the sound emitting from the instrument was like nothing you’d ever heard before. 

You weren’t sure how much time had passed, you found that you had completely gotten lost in his playing. When he plucked the final notes, he gently set the instrument aside before meeting your gaze. 

“That was beautiful, Spock, really.” He looked different to you now, calmer, more relaxed than you’d seen him in a while. It was nice, different. This version of Spock was new to you, but you found that he was someone you wanted to see more of. 

He gave you a curt nod, his hands now folded in front of him. “I do not believe everyone would agree with you. I have received a noise complaint before.” 

“What? That’s crazy. Who would do that?” 

“I was not able to procure the identity of the complainant, however, I have my suspicions.” 

You silently nodded chewing on your lip, “So,” you started, “How should we spend today?” 

Spock furrowed his brow, “Are you familiar with the game Yahtzee?” 

You smiled widely, “You could say that.” 

You played with Spock for hours. Laughing as he said would yell out Yahtzee with that emotionless tenor. 

Spock’s eyes met yours as you threw your head back laughing at a passing comment he made about winning. You were doing a victory dance after finally beating him after five rounds of losses.

The sound hit your ears before you could register what was happening, you quickly looked to see Spock laughing, his smile wide as you paused your exaggerated movements. You smiled at him in disbelief. 

He quickly clamped his mouth shut, “My apologies.” 

“Why are you apologizing?” 

Spock seemed to hesitate, “I was advised to ‘keep my freaky to myself’”

“Spock, we are living nothing but freaky now, please don’t hide yourself from me. You and I are all we have.” 

The corner of Spock’s mouth turned upwards to a smile, “Noted.” 

“Do you want to try take two on getting food?” You prompted. 

“That would be acceptable,” Spock said. 

The both of you walked side by side towards the mess hall. Spock all the while discussing with you the probability formula he used to help him with the game. As you walked into the mess hall, you avoided the replicator from yesterday. You watched as Spock used it instead. Erica, instead of you targeted Spock. 

You watched from across the mess hall as Spock no doubt endured the same cross examination you did on the last loop. You watched as his gaze bounced back and forth from Uhura to Erica. Both women fired off one question after the next. 

You heard alarms blaring overhead, a laugh escaping from you. Crew members watched you wearily as you stood up on a table, hands cupped over your mouth to help carry your voice. 

“Looks like this one is on you, Spock,” you laughed, enjoying the embarrassed expression on his face. You could swear you could see his ears tint green from your angle on the table. 

“I’ll see you in a few!” you yelled out before white light enveloped you. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spock met you in front of your own room, you opened the door with a small smile. 

“Do I want to know what they said to get you to spill the beans?” You teased. 

Spock’s gaze drifted down, his hands folding behind his back, “I do not believe that the conversation was relevant.” 

You let out a small laugh, “If you say so.” 

Making your way out of the door, you walked beside Spock through the hallways. You could see Sigala up ahead with your cup of coffee. You took the cup as you passed him without looking, “Thanks Sigala!” You said in passing. 

You sipped on the warm drink as you walked with Spock, both of you held a comfortable silence. You spent the majority of the day with Spock hiding in cargo bays to keep from being questioned. The both of you managed to find the food preparation bay, saving you both from the questioning of Erica and Nyota. 

Time passed around you both slowly, blurring around you until the only thing you could see clearly in front of you was Spock. It was terrifying and comforting and another emotion you couldn’t quite put your finger on - thrilling you almost thought. 

Spock, for his part, had managed to occupy you both with an endless barrage of questioning. Some of it involved your opinions of the mechanics of the warp core, and other questions had you trying to hold back laughter. When Spock had asked if you liked eggplant, you had nearly hit your head against the cargo wall. 

It was easy with Spock. Something you could not have predicted, you found yourself almost oddly grateful with the time with him. 

You both managed to find more food before making your way to the observation deck. You both sat across from each other on the floor of the observation deck. 

“There’s nothing quite like it is there?” You said out loud, your eyes fixed solely on the view in front of you. 

“No, I do not believe there is,” Spock replied. 

You turned to look at Spock, his gaze already on you. 

“How many loops has it been, you think?” You set your dinner aside and gave Spock your full attention. “I feel like I lost track around twenty loops ago.” 

“Eighty-six.” 

Your brow furrowed as you tried to think back on your loops. “Really?” 

“Yes, we attempted to notify Captain Pike and the crew-” 

You silently waved him off, “It’s okay, I’m sorry I asked.” You found yourself slumping against the wall. You were deflating again. 

“You know,” you prompted, “I think this is the farthest we’ve made it without dying.” 

“You are correct,” he agreed. His gaze fixed solely on the view of the stars.

“What are you thinking, Spock?” 

“Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland,” he paused, “My mother used to read it frequently when I was a child.” 

“It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.” 

“You are familiar with the book?” 

You gave him a soft smile, “A little. I think I read it when I was a kid. I only remember small details here and there. It kind of feels like we traveled down the rabbit hole a bit, doesn’t it?” 

Spock let out a warm hum in response, “I would be inclined to agree with your statement.” 

Alarms began to blare overhead, repeating red alert. 

“Well, I guess that’s it for this loop,” you sighed, scooting your way closer to Spock. You were shoulder to shoulder now. 

Spock turned his head to look at you. You looped your arm through his, your head resting against his shoulder. 

“Spock?” 

“Yes?” 

“I…” you bit your lip, unsure of what you wanted to say. Words clawed their way up your throat, but died on your lips. 

Your vision began to swim with white. You squeezed your eyes shut, holding onto Spock’s arm more firmly. 

I think I’m being to fall in love with you, you thought before you felt the pull in your stomach. The rest of time falling around you.

[mybullshitsensesaretingling]

A Vulcan Smile Part Eight

[Part One] [Part Two] [Part Three] [Part Four] [Part Five] [Part Six] [Part Seven]

A/N: There's some questionable made-up Vulcan lore in this because there's not a whole lot of detail about their telepathic abilities given in the cannon. But, you know what, if the writers of SNW can make up whatever they want about Spock then fuck it so can I. yeehaw, baby

“You’re leaving.” Spock stood in the doorway to your bedroom, arms hanging at his side, shoulders stooped ever so slightly. His tone and expression were carefully crafted to not give any hint that he might be experiencing an emotion. At fourteen he was already well on his way to becoming the man he would grow to be. 

You didn’t look up from your packing. “I’m to be on the ship to Earth tomorrow. I am going to stay with the Graysons.” 

The Graysons. That’s what you had called them. It took you two years to refer to them as your grandparents. 

“You knew I would be leaving,” you said in his mind. You had always preferred the privacy that telepathy provided, even if casual usage wasn’t approved of by the High Council. 

“I knew he wanted you to leave,” he said in yours. 

Telepathic communication was one of the few of your less desirable behaviors he endulged. You didn’t understand why until you were much older and you realized that you had pushed him away too far and might never have this connection again. 

“What do you expect me to do?”

“Fight.”

Finally, you looked up at him. His eyes bore into you. They had such an intensity that anytime he let himself loose even just a little it felt like staring directly into a star. 

“You always fight. Why are you not now?”

“There’s nothing to fight. I want this.”

He moved further into you’re room. “You want to leave?” 

“I want to be somewhere else. Somewhere I am understood.” 

“And you believe that is Earth? Will they not just misunderstand the other half of you?” Spock asked. 

You sighed, rubbing a hand across your face. ”I’m tired, Spock. I’m tired of being ostracized for understanding that we were born with more than just a capacity for logic. I am tired of being treated like a failed experiment.”

There was more than that. You were tired of seeing him hurt. You were tired of watching him take the harassment. You were tired of being told just to accept the harassment and constant implications that you were less than. You were tired of being penalized for standing up for yourself and your brother. But you left it unsaid. Unthought, in case he was listening. 

“Human society is still young and ignorant. They will not accept you.” His eyes searched your face. “They will not understand you.”

“Maybe not, but at least I’ll be free to be me. I won’t be suffocated under the pressures of being the Ambassador’s hope for a greater relationship between our two races.” You sat down on your bed and stared out the window. “At least I will be told that I am loved.” 

A breeze blew through the leaves, partially obscuring your view of the red mountains and the rich orange sky. 

“I won’t miss it here,” you said out loud. You needed to hear it. You needed him to believe it. 

Now all you saw out the window was darkness and passing stars. You would never see the richness of those orange skies again. A fact the conference was intent on reminding you. 

Normally being around that many Vulcans was exhausting because it required you to choose between putting on an act or dealing with the unfettered scorn of the entire group. Neither option was without its downsides. But this event was focused on how to ensure the survival of the people and cultures of Vulcan now that it was gone. Not even Vulcans can fully suppress the level of sorrow that comes with losing a planet and having that many grief-stricken telepaths in one starbase was overwhelming. 

The favor you had paid Leonard only worsened your exhaustion. What had been bubbling out of you in aggression was now dripping out in fatigue. Your head felt heavy and cloudy. 

You had come to the rooms provided by the Captain with the intention of sleeping, but your mind was bent on replaying memories over and over and not giving you a moment's rest. 

Hauling yourself out of bed, you pulled your robes back on. One of the many concessions you had made in order to have your voice heard was to wear a traditional Vulcan dress. 

The bottom of your dress and robe swept across the floor as you walked through the corridor. You followed the smell of food and drinks. Even with your nasal numbing agent, it was strong. You hadn’t fully realized how many smells there would be on a ship this size. You didn’t know how Spock dealt with it every day. 

The smell led you to what looked like a bar. 

You walked a few paces from the door and clasped your hands, trying to figure out if there were replicators you were supposed to use or if there was someone you asked for food. 

“You should be resting,” Spock said, coming to stand by you. 

“I’m fine,” you answered automatically in his head, something you hadn’t done in years. You were suddenly more willing to fall back on old childhood habits than speak. 

He raised a brow at you but responded in kind, “You have not slept in days.” 

“I am well within the healthy limit.” 

“Not after such a taxing event.” 

“But I supposed it wasn’t taxing for you?” 

He bristled, realizing that he must think his next words more carefully if he wished to avoid an argument. “It was. However, my mind has always been less open than yours. You take on the suffering of those around you.” 

If only he knew just how true that was. 

“I’m fine,” you told him again. 

“Your mind is cluttered.” 

You glanced around the bar. “There’s a lot of people on your ship.” 

He looked you over, then spoke out loud, “Come with me.” 

You hesitated. You really just wanted to get something to eat and then go back to bed, but reluctantly, you followed him. 

The two of you moved quietly through the ship until you were in a smaller room with significantly fewer people. 

You exhaled. 

When you had denied the Vulcan teachings on emotional control, you had also denied the teachings on telepathy control. They went hand in hand under Serak’s teachings. Telepathy was turned inward to help suppress one's emotions. Without doing this you were left with far more unchecked telepathic power with no one to teach you what to do with it. At least no one you were allowed to talk to as a child. 

You had eventually figured it out and learned to control it and use it for good when you could, but you had never built up defenses the way most did. You hadn’t wanted to. Your mother had said that greeting the universe with an open heart and open mind made you more ready to learn. She was a sentimental woman. But she had also told you it would come at a cost. You knew that at least to be true. 

The thoughts of those around you were always in your head. Like murmuring from another room. You couldn’t make them out with conscious effort, but they were there. You had learned to tune them out when you were a teenager, but when you were tired and surrounded by others, they started to overtake your own thoughts. 

Spock led you to a table and told you to sit. You rested your head on your hand and waited for him to return. When he did, he placed a bowl in front of you. You stared down into the orange broth. 

Plomeek soup. 

You had despised it as a child. It was so bland and boring and never seemed to satisfy you. 

Picking up your head, you lifted a spoonful to your mouth. Your eyes slipped shut as you took in the subtle flavor. It tasted remarkably similar to the one your mother used to make. 

Finally, you spoke, “Thank you.” 

Spock nodded, watching as you slowly sipped the soup. 

“Have you considered meditating?” 

You rolled your eyes at the suggestion. 

“It has helped Vulcan’s for generations. Why you think it woul-” 

“Because I don’t subscribe to the idea that I need to suppress my emotions.” You focused your attention on your meal as you projected your thoughts into his mind. 

“A bit of suppression might benefit you.” 

“And a bit of expression might benefit you,” you responded in turn. 

Now it was his turn to roll his eyes. 

“See, don’t you feel better?” You took another sip of soup. “And I did meditate.” 

“You could have just said that.” 

“Where’s the fun in that?” 

He rested his hands on the table. “It appears you are also feeling better.” 

“I’m starting to.” 

“Good.” His head turned as something else in the room caught his attention. “Excuse me. I need to converse with the Captain for a moment. I will be back.” 

You gave him a quick nod of recognition. He returned it and walked off. You focused your attention on your soup. The smell, the taste, the feel of it in your mouth. If you focused hard enough, everything else would fade into the background. At least that’s what you hoped would happen. 

Instead, a voice cut through your soup thoughts, “There you are.” 

You looked up to find Leonard smiling down at you. Glancing around, you saw that he was alone.

“I thought you were giving Jo a tour,” you said. Your voice sounded odd even to your own ears; horst and hallow.  

“I was. Just dropped her off to work on homework. When she saw you weren’t there anymore, she made me promise I’d find you and make sure you’re okay.” 

You raised an inquisitive eyebrow. 

“Jo’s worried you’re going to be attacked by a salt vampire.” 

“I think those safety lectures of yours did more harm than good,” you told him, dropping your chin to look straight ahead. 

“You alright, sweetheart?” 

You stiffened at the pet name. 

“Look worn slap out.” He put a hand on your shoulder. 

The images of his thoughts filled your mind, perfectly formed. You jerked away before you had time to process any of them. You couldn’t deal with anyone else in your head today. 

“Don’t touch me.” 

He didn’t deserve the sharpness in your tone. You knew that, but you couldn’t stop it from being there. Full and biting. 

Leonard held his hands up to show you he wasn’t going to touch you again. “I thought we got over you making me the bad guy when I let you into my head the other night.” 

“No one’s making you the bad guy.” You rested your forearms on the table so you could lean towards him. “Do you have to react dramatically to everything?” 

“I’m not the one who almost bit someone’s head off for putting a hand on your shoulder.”

“Expecting you to respect my boundaries is not biting your head off.” 

“You’ve got to be kidding me. You’ve never met a boundary you wouldn’t cross.” 

You pulled your chin in and raised your brows. “I beg your unbelievable parton?” 

“You brought my twelve-year-old to a starbase!” 

You rolled your eyes and leaned back. “I have to hand it to you, Doctor. you can hold on to things for an exceptionally long time.” 

He crossed his arms. “You could start an argument with an empty house, you know that?” 

“You wouldn’t even need the house.” 

“I can’t do this right now. Find me when you’re done yo-yoing me around.” He waved a hand over his shoulder as he started back towards the door.

“Oh come on, Doctor. I already know how good you are at walking away. Show me something new.” 

He ignored your harassment and your eyes followed him out into the corridor. Then you dropped your head to your arms with a groan. 

“You ‘let yourself into his head’?” Spock repeated the phrase as closely as he could in Vulcan.

Stifling the urge to groan, you lifted your head just enough for you to be able to peak over your arms and stared up at your brother. 

“What does that mean?” After spending three days with other Vulcan’s his accent was stronger than it had been. It made you realize in retrospect how much his time in Starfleet had affected it. His consents were tighter. His vowels moved at a different pitch. You wondered if he was aware of how much he had changed.

“Nothing,” your Vulcan words were muffled slightly against your sleeve. “Don’t worry about it.” 

Silently, he sat down across from you. He carefully folded his hands on the table and straightened up, watching you. 

“Don’t do this,” you grumbled. 

“Don’t sit down with you?” 

“No, don’t do that silent judgy thing you do right before we get in a fight.” 

“I do not have a silent judgy thing.” 

“I can feel the angry thoughts churning in your head.” 

“Anger is a human emotion.” 

You rolled your eyes and dropped your head again. “Just say what you want to say.” 

“I have nothing to say.” 

You scoffed but didn’t look up. 

“You are going to do what you want to regardless of what I say. I don’t know why I ever bothered trying to give you advice.” 

“Advice?” Now you lifted your head fully. “You told me to avoid the doctor completely. How am I supposed to do that without offending his family, who are some of my closest friends? I’m his daughter’s third emergency contact. It goes Donna, then Fred, then me, then Leonard. Do you expect me to just leave him out of the loop in the case of an emergency with his own child?” 

“Of course not.” 

You pulled your shoulders back so he could get the full effect of your ‘so then what’ expression. 

“There are many other forms of relationships between avoiding entirely and performing intimate telepathic bonds together.” 

“If it’s so intimate-” It was incredibly intimate. You knew that. “-why do you use it on what are essentially criminals.” 

“Sometimes it is necessary to cross that boundary for the good of the many.” 

“And sometimes it’s necessary for the good of the one.”

His brows lowered at your flip of the traditional Vulcan motto. 

“He was suffering. I wasn’t just going to sit there when I could help.” You leaned back in your seat. “I thought you wanted me to avoid him because you feared I would pick a fight. I thought you would be pleased that we’re are… getting along.” 

“You appear to be managing to do both.” 

“Why does this bother you so much?”

“You have a tendency to,” he hesitated as he searched for the right words, “become emotionally invested. Were that to happen with a member of this crew who is less than understanding of many of your Vulcan traits it could become difficult for that person to continue working with me.” 

“You’re professional relationship is so fragile that my forming a friendship with him would create difficulties?” 

“Not for me alone. Your brash, unregulated emotions have gotten you into trouble before. Combining them with the doctor’s could create complications.” 

“I am not combining emotions with the doctor.” You stood up. “But if I was, it wouldn’t be any of your business. I can combine whatever I want with whomever I want.” 

“Where are you going?” 

“Well, I was going to go get some tea, unless you’re worried that I’ll run into the head engineer on the way to the replicators and become emotionally invested.” You didn’t wait for a response before walking away.

The light from the replicator stung your over tired eyes but you didn’t look away. It seemed the easiest place to look.

“Brothers, huh?” a nearby voice asked. 

You turned to see Jim still sitting at the table, a PADD in one hand and a mug in the other. 

“Brothers,” you agreed, grabbing your tea from the machine. 

“Always disappointed about something. I swear I don’t know why mine’s mad at me half the time,” he joked. 

“That must be nice.”

He chuckled. “I’m my experience with Spock he usually has a good, logical reason for everything he does and says.” 

“And in your experience with brothers?” you asked. 

“They usually mean well.” He gave you a sympathetic smile. “Even if they’re doing the wrong thing.” 

“Are you speaking as someone with a brother or someone who is a brother?” you asked. 

“Both.” He set his PADD down. “But mostly someone with a brother. I’m a great brother.”

You smiled at his playful cockiness. 

“Can I ask you another question?” 

“Of course.” 

“What’s a yo-yo?”

[t0ast-ghost]

I could imagine an episode where they bring the tribbles here

@kiwim7 various Teletubbies situations

[spirk-trek]

spock witnessing the horrors:

the horrors in question:

[teacup-gathering-itself]

The depth of Kirk being a big himbo in his slut era all the time in a very overt human way, while also being a huge nerd brainiac supercomputer on legs.

Contrasting Spock, who is a supercomputer on legs, but ALSO a big himbo in his slut era in a very overt Vulcan way.

Proof: He is so TOUCHY with his captain. He lets touch be a staple in their relationship and just. Doesn’t mention its significance to his culture. Lets people think it’s just him “putting up with” his captain. To non-Vulcans, sure that excuse works. But any Vulcan with working eyes knows what he’s up to. They’re silently scandalized.

[artsyhamster]

I took part in the @sponeszine !

Go check out the other cool fanworks in the Zine :3