#sperm route

[melody-lines]

다다르마 daDharma || 발기찬 여행상품화 Sperm Nuriho (Lyric video)

Spotify https://open.spotify.com/album/4rRLVFmfL2JLxKmH8KQaaq

Apple Music https://music.apple.com/kr/album/three-go-single/1657136058

[epiphainie]

.

[snezus-christ-risen]

Why is finding a baby daddy so hard. 😫 I’m ready for nature to find a way. 🦖

[leos-soggy-wolf-nuts]

THE GLOVE BOX THE GLOVE BOX

[milimeters-morales]

Miles: i don’t get involved in any sort of way with Peter’s family because I don’t care.

Also Miles: im invited to another family dinner next week and then MJ asked me for help on how to announce her pregnancy to Peter so I’m going to ask Aunt May on some tips of announcing big news to people over the brunch + manicure appointment we have tomorrow.

[radxianixe]

reading an episode story that boasts a female love interest option and not once have they referred to her as a woman. it's all "he" "him" "male" "man" alright....

[seokgyuu]

When fertility clinics fail to give you what you want, you decide it’s time to take the matter into your own hands. And who’d be better for the job than Choi Seungcheol?

Pairing: Seungcheol x Fem!Reader

Genre: Porn with a small bit of plot. 

Warnings: This work contains adult content! MDNI! This whole fic revolves around getting pregnant!! So if you’re uncomfortable, please do not read. Smut warnings under the cut!

Word Count: 4.3k

A/N: Omg look, she’s back with a work!! And it’s a standalone Cheol fic??? Damn. I wanna thank the lovely @idyllic-ghost for the beautiful banner!! Have fun reading and please be a bit more patient in case you are a reader of Challenge Me. I swear there is more to come!! also big thanks to @beomcoups for reading this over and telling me it doesn't suck, lol.

Tagging: @duhnova, @yoonguurt, @highvern, @smileysuh, @cheolism @the-boy-meets-evil @ourdawnishotterthanourday @gyuswhore

“I don’t really know how to start.” You finally break the silence, sitting on the couch across from Seungcheol, your legs crossed and your hands laying in your lap. He watches as you lick over your lips, nervous eyes roaming around the room and something like a chuckle wants to creep out of his throat. He suppresses it and instead smiles.

“Me neither, don’t worry. We can take it slow if you like. Or I can finish this water and we can go upstairs,” he pauses for a second, “or stay here, whatever you prefer.”

Smut Warnings: unprotected sex (duh), creampie, dirty talk, blowjobs, face fucking, usage of the word daddy, squirting, multiple orgasms (f&m)

Choi Seungcheol has never done this before. He has never sat in the living room of a woman he barely knew with a glass of medium sparkling water in his hand and a pounding heart in his chest. If anything, this had only ever happened in his dreams. Not the medium sparkling water (mainly because he didn’t even like his water sparkled, medium or not) and perhaps with less clothing - even though that specific part was probably about to become reality. 

“Do you want something small to eat, or something?” You ask now and Cheol flinches slightly, looking up at you with his big eyes and his mouth slightly dropped.

“Oh, no, thanks!” He smiles back and takes a sip from his glass. It tastes awful but he’s not about to say that. 

Your living room is huge; two big couches the color of creme surrounded by tasteful art on the walls. A fireplace and a huge flatscreen above it, pictures of friends and family on the shelves, books from authors Cheol has never heard of. He wonders for a quick second why you would choose this route when you obviously had the funds to do it the… more professional way, but then he remembers that he is getting paid for this. In fact, he already has the insane amount in his bank account waiting to be used to pay off his student loans. 

“I don’t really know how to start.” You finally break the silence, sitting on the couch across from Seungcheol, your legs crossed and your hands laying in your lap. He watches as you lick over your lips, nervous eyes roaming around the room and something like a chuckle wants to creep out of his throat. He suppresses it and instead smiles.

“Me neither, don’t worry. We can take it slow if you like. Or I can finish this water and we can go upstairs,” he pauses for a second, “or stay here, whatever you prefer.”

You think it’s cute, the way he blushes. In a situation like this one, definitely not surprising. You’ve been thinking about this for months now: fertility clinics in your town and even outside of it weren’t working. It wasn’t the money that was the problem, but your body apparently. Or anything else. At some point one of the doctors joked that it would probably be best if you tried getting pregnant in the old fashioned way. By sleeping with someone who had a penis with functioning sperm. And whilst he had meant it as a joke, very clearly trying to uplift an incredibly sad situation (kind of distasteful, you find) you had taken it to heart and here you are now. 

A friend of yours owned a few gyms in town and Cheol was a regular turned PT in one of them. He was handsome and strong, a gentleman, healthy and in desperate need of some easy made money. Your friend had overheard him talking to one of the other PTs and even though it might not have been the most professional thing to do - she had asked him if he wanted to help out in your specific situation. You have to admit - back when she told you it felt extremely humiliating. Asking some stranger to have sex with you to, maybe (hopefully?), get you pregnant. Not to mention her being his boss - if he hadn’t reacted the way he did, he could have more than likely sued her for this. 

But he said yes. And now he's here. Many dollars richer and with an embarrassed flush on his pretty face. 

“Upstairs is probably more comfortable,” you finally respond and he nods, emptying his glass. After, he looks at you expectantly and you feel your insides growing hot. He’s everything you wished for and more. Better than who you had picked first in the fertility clinic for sure. It’s crazy, all of this, you know it, and yet you can’t help but feel like this is also the only right thing. You want a baby. Seungcheol wants to help you get one. 

Finally, you get up and he joins you, a nervous smile on his lips as you lead him to the stairs in the foyer, your legs shaking as you walk up, the sounds of his footsteps behind you echoing in your head. You’re about to lead a stranger into your bedroom. A sexy stranger that will (hopefully) father the child you’ve been wanting for over a year. Your stomach turns in excitement as well as arousal and you clear your throat as you reach the top of the stairs.

“It’s right over here,” you say, pointing at the door to your left and Seungcheol nods, eyes only temporarily leaving your frame. 

A part of him feels like he should come clean about how much he’s been looking forward to this. To sleep with you, to breed you. Ever since his boss had asked him about this, he’s been excited. It was almost as if she had known. Showing him pictures of you, telling him how much you want to have a baby. She obviously didn’t say the obvious, didn’t say that you were desperate for cum in your pussy to get you pregnant. Mainly because that would have been even more inappropriate. But Cheol knew. He still does. Knows that you’re probably dripping into your designer panties wanting nothing but his cum and his only. Fuck, he is growing harder by the second. He has to calm down, remain professional. This is supposed to be nothing but a business transaction, he is well aware. But it’s not like he chose to have an extreme breeding kink, right? 

The door to your bedroom opens and Cheol takes in the furniture and decorations only for a second before his eyes land on you again. You stand in front of your bed, your arms wrapped around yourself. 

“I- uh, I think it’s probably best if we, uhm, get ready by ourselves?” 

Cheol nods. He kind of figured there wouldn’t be much foreplay. Still, just the thought of you behind him, touching yourself… he comes to the conclusion he won’t need much handy work to be hard for you. 

“Should we take our clothes off, or…?” He asks carefully and you swallow, your eyes trying to be subtle as you check him out but he can clearly see what you’re doing. You want him to take off his clothes. You just aren’t sure if you should. It would probably make the situation easier, yes, but it would also expose you to this man that is built like a god. You bite down on your lip and swallow the lump in your throat. Then, you nod. 

With a sense of pride, Cheol moves his hands to the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head without any trouble. Your eyes are immediately glued to his toned torso - the abs, the strong shoulders, his chest. 

“Maybe we should turn off the lights.” The words escape your mouth before they reach your brain. A small smirk tugs on Cheol’s lips - you’re flustered because of him. Without a word, Cheol nods and turns off the light, sitting down onto the bed with his back turned to you. This is nerve wracking. Your face is hot and your heart is beating fast as you sit down as well. You hear him behind you. Hear the sound of his pants opening, of his hands moving to shove it down. There is no stopping the wish to see him, his beautiful body. When you hear the small sigh he lets out a few seconds later, you decide to just follow your instincts. It was you who had called him here. Backing out now would be foolish. So, you bite down on your lip and lean back slightly, your hand wandering down to your clothed core, pressing against it for just a quick moment, before you move to open your jeans as well, making quick work to get them down your legs. 

You begin to circle your clit over your panties, eyes closed and the image of Cheol right there in front of you. The smug smile, the lean muscles on his torso… you wonder what they’d feel like under your fingertips. Now, it is you who sighs softly and Seungcheol behind you groans quietly. The sound shoots through you, makes you crave to hear it even closer, right by your ear. You want him to hold you, want him to say your name as he slides into you. 

The sounds you make drive Seungcheol crazy. His big hand is wrapped around his cock, moving up and down, precum helping to make the glide easier. His whole head is filled with you and nothing but you and he has to stop himself from shooting his load right away just thinking about feeling you tightly around him. Yes, Seungcheol seriously doesn’t know how long he can go on like this without cumming. So, he slightly turns around, tongue slipping over his lips.

“I’m ready…,” his deep voice reaches your ears just when two of your fingers slide into your pussy, already longing for more. You moan, feeling another wave of heat running through your body. Nodding, you let your fingers slip out and turn around, moving fully onto the bed. You hadn’t discussed positions earlier, but you decide to get on all fours, Seungcheol slowly getting up.

He can’t see you, only your silhouette that looks ever so perfect, ass up in the air and, fuck, he thinks he won’t last long. Swallowing hard, he moves and places his hands on your hips.

“Is that alright?” He asks and you nod.

“Y-yes.”

That’s all he needs. Moving forward, his right hand grabs his erect cock, leading it to your core. God, you’re wet. No problem at all to slide into you, into your seemingly perfect pussy that begins to squeeze him right away. Seungcheol is sure there are stars dancing in front of his head already. 

His size almost takes you out. The stretch hurts deliciously and the second he is buried fully inside of you, your head drops and a moan you couldn’t suppress even if you wanted to makes Seungcheol thrust for the first time. He starts out slow but deep, trying to hold on longer by not speeding up. While the goal is obvious, he doesn’t just want to cum inside of you and leave. No, he wants to make this a good experience for both of you. So, he listens to the sounds you make to the way your pussy clenches, the way your body shoves back against him. You seem to like it deep, seem to want it harder and, fuck, if Seungcheol wasn’t so keen on still kind of keeping it professional he would push your head into your pillows and fuck you til you begged him to never stop. 

All that fills the air is the moans both of you let out as well as the sound of skin on skin, of his cock sinking into your wetness over and over again. You want to scream, want to tell him to go harder, faster. All sense of professionalism is slowly but surely leaving your body and when his big hands squeeze your hips, you finally falter. 

“H-harder, please!” You cry out and Seungcheol twitches inside of you, nodding to himself before doing as he’s asked. He leans forward, his hips hitting yours harder and faster than before, fingers digging into your skin as he groans in pleasure. 

“Fuck!” Your hands grab the sheets, knuckles white just when your first orgasm hits. Throwing your head back, crying out in nothing but pure bliss, leaving Seungcheol speechless. He can feel your climax around him, can feel you clenching, vibrating almost. He can feel just how good you squeeze him and there is no stopping his own release following right away, spurts of hot cum painting your warm walls white. He fucks both of you through your orgasms, sweat running down his face and finally pulls out, wishing the light was on so he could see his seed spilling out of you. 

You turn around, falling onto your back, your eyes closed. 

“That… wow.” You can’t find words. Mainly because you can’t even remember the last time someone fucked you this good. Seungcheol licks over his lips.

“Can I turn the light on?” He asks then and something in his voice makes chills run down your back. Your eyes fly open and you bite back down onto your lip before telling him yes. Once the light is back on, you feel another wave of lust rush over you. He’s fully naked. He’s sweaty. He’s perfect. Blonde hair sticking to his forehead, brown eyes taking in every bit of your body that’s free for him to see. Different from what you had believed you don’t feel uncomfortable. More so the opposite. His gaze on your body seems to light you on fire, making you crave more. 

“You’re beautiful.” He lets his hands fall down onto your bare thighs, slowly pushing them apart. His cock hardens again at the sight of your pussy, his cum slowly dripping out of you.. You allow yourself to check him out, seeing how his blood rushes down, how much he enjoys the view. 

“I think… I think maybe another round… would make the probability higher that it works.” Another thing you say before it registers. 

The smug smile appearing on his face now almost makes you gasp. It’s so different from the person he was downstairs, from the shy and slightly awkward man who didn’t know where to look. Now, he looks like a wild animal with its eyes set on its prey. Oh, god.

He leans forward, hands still on your thighs and your throat goes dry. His tongue licks over his bottom lip and his eyes seem to already fuck you a second time. 

“We should get this back inside, don’t you think?” It takes you by surprise when you feel his fingers on your core, when you feel him gathering his release and shove it back inside you, his thick fingers splitting you open deliciously. This time you can’t stop the gasp, your hands moving to hold onto his forearms, eyes wide and mouth dropped.

“That’s right, take all of Daddy’s cum,” his lips are right by your ear and your body is hit by an enormous wave of lust, your pussy clenching around his fingers as he keeps fucking them into you. Moans escape you and your head falls back - at least you think it does until you feel his other hand on the back of your neck holding it steady.

“Look at me,” he breathes, “look at me when I fuck my first load back into you before giving you another one.” 

You whimper as you nod, eyes watering from the desperation of wanting to cum again. Seungcheol is sure to give you as many orgasms as you can take. As many rounds as you let him have you.

His plump lips are opened as he watches you, your sweaty face, your blown pupils, your obvious need for more. Fuck, he’s a goner. Before knowing what he’s doing, he’s leaning in even more, crashing your lips together. Your eyes flutter shut immediately and you kiss him back, opening your lips to invite him inside. He groans against your mouth, his tongue sliding into your warmth, feeling yours a few seconds later. 

The kiss is heated and desperate and every vein in your body seems to be on fire. Your heart is pounding at triple speed in your chest and when Seungcheol parts for air, you’re already craving him again. You want to touch him, want him to hold you close when he’s back inside of you, when he gives you what you need, what you want. There seem to be no coherent thoughts left in your brain as he continues to kiss you with his fingers buried inside your sweet cunt. 

“Do you even know how hot you are, fuck,” he breathes against your lips now, pulling his fingers out of you to have both his hands on you the next second. He kisses you again, hungry for your touch. Hands all over you, gliding from your hips to your breasts, getting rid of the shirt you were still wearing. He wants to see all of you, lose himself in your body, wants to get high on what it feels like to know you want him just as bad as he wants you. This isn’t just about making you a mum anymore. Seungcheol wants to give you pleasure, wants to treat you the way you deserve. He saw it in your eyes earlier - saw how you want it hard and rough, heard it in your pleads for him. 

“On your knees, face me.” It’s an order you’re more than happy to follow. You bite down onto your lip and get on your knees, looking up at him. God, he looks ethereal. 

“Good girl, so, so good for me.” You shiver when he lets his fingers slide over your face, down to your mouth, sliding them in. You suck them in without having to be asked. They taste like you and him and your eyes roll back when he begins to fuck them down your throat, his free hand cradling your tits again. 

“That’s right. Fuck.” 

It’s like he is in a trance, hypnotized by the way you look with his fingers in your mouth, knowing full well his seed is still inside and will soon be joined by more. He feels like he is addicted to you already, like he just can’t get enough of you. He wants to taste you, wants to have you come on his cock over and over again.

His eyes are glued to you. You, who is sucking on his fingers so prettily, your tongue swirling around the digits and Seungcheol grows impatient. He pulls his fingers out of your mouth and instead grabs his half hard cock with his slicked up fingers, jerking himself off a few times, eyes never leaving yours. 

“Open up wide for me, baby girl.” 

His cock slides through your lips and into your mouth and your eyes roll back, tongue already pressing against his thick length. The groan he lets out makes slick run down your thighs. You want him so bad, your pussy is throbbing and clenching and you feel like your head has never been this dizzy before. Nothing but arousal is in the air, the smell of you and him and what you’ve done just as hypnotizing as your eyes. 

Working forward slowly, Cheol watches as you take more and more of him down your perfect throat, his own mouth hanging low. No one has ever looked as good with his cock in their mouth. He doubts anyone ever will. He’s big, he knows he is and while he wants to be careful with you - he also wants to ruin you. Wants to see drool dripping down your chin, wants to hear you choke on his huge cock. 

“Take it all, I know you can.” He pushes further, his tip gliding down your throat and you choke, your eyes filling with tears, but there is no part of you that isn’t fully enjoying this. You want him to fuck your mouth, to be rough, harsh. Want to be used by him all while having him breed you later on. He watches you, watches the first tear and the first small pool of drool, his cock growing heavier on your tongue by the second.

“Look at you. So, so pretty. Getting Daddy’s cock hard so he can breed you again, isn’t that so nice of you?”

He does his first thrust down your throat and you choke once more, followed by a moan around his cock that makes him groan. Everything around him is a blur. There is only you and your mouth, the warmth of it, the feeling of how your throat restricts around his length, how you seem to vibrate around him. 

Getting your throat fucked certainly wasn’t on your list of probable things happening tonight. But you lose yourself in the feeling of him using you to get off. Feeling him grow harder in your mouth, spit dripping from your mouth onto your bed, his taste ever so present. God, you wanna devour him until he explodes inside of you. 

As much as he enjoys this, though, there is a reason he is here. With a last hard thrust down your excellent throat, he pulls out, watching you gain back your breath, your eyes fluttering open and looking at him with such desperate want it makes shivers run down his back. 

There is no need for words - he leans forward, pushing you over so you’re on your back, his lips catching yours in another heated kiss. His hand is around his cock, leading it to your entrance. The tip breaches you and you moan into the kiss, your arms wrapping around his neck, pulling him even closer. Your legs almost automatically set around his waist, his cock sinking as deep into you as possible.

“Fuck,” he breathes, settling inside of you, giving him and you a second to adjust. God, he could already shoot his load. You feel perfect around him. Like you were made for him and only him. It suddenly bothers him - the fact he’s gonna get you pregnant and never see you again. The thought is scary, and he might have spiraled into something - but you have a different idea. 

Wiggling your hips, you are whining into his mouth, trying to finally get him to move. Your pussy squeezes him, begs him and Cheol is just a man after all. He does his first thrust that is quickly followed by more. Soon, both of your moans are filling the room, his lips kissing every inch of you he can reach, your heartbeat rapidly increasing. You feel like you’re in a different dimension, a dimension that only exists for you and Seungcheol and your pleasure. You arch your back, his mouth on your tits, sucking and biting them, your moans getting louder every second. 

While you don’t want it to end, you also want nothing more than for him to fill you up again. Feel him twitch and lose control because of you. Your nails dig into his muscular back just as he leans back, his dark eyes staring into yours as he fucks you harder, his hands shoving your thighs back, his movements becoming more fluid. Your eyes roll back and you sure you can feel him in your stomach, or no, you can feel him everywhere.

“Look at you, so fucking beautiful, could look at you forever.” 

You wonder if he knows what those words do to you. If he knows how hot he is, how ethereal he looks. Probably. With your mouth and eyes wide, your body in his hands and your pussy crying, begging, yearning for release, you let yourself fall. Fall down into the greatest pleasure of your life, waves and waves of it hitting you, liquid shooting out of you and onto Cheol’s cock and thighs, loud and lewd moans leaving your throat as you reach the highest height you’ve ever been.

Seungcheol’s response is the prettiest sound you’ve ever heard, his own eyes not able to stay open as he fucks into you faster and harder, so close to bursting. And when he does, when he lets go as well, when all he has to give is ready to be given - there is no stopping the wave of yet another orgasm hitting you. Spurts of white are met by your pussy squeezing him, by you crying out his name over and over while his hips crash against yours at rapid speed over and over again. 

Then, he collapses on top of you. Your legs fall into their natural position and your hands find the back of his head, stroking through his wet strands of hair. You are both panting, his chest glued to yours. Sweat and drool and other bodily fluids give the air the smell of sex and you wonder how long it’ll linger in your bedroom. You’re not sure you ever want it to leave. Or him, for that matter.

It takes a good couple of minutes before Seungcheol is able to lift his head to look at you. His eyes sparkle and you smile, one hand wandering to cup his cheek and caress it softly.

“Hi,” you whisper. He can’t help but smile back.

“Hi,” he replies quitely. 

He kisses you after. Soft and sweet. He is still buried inside of you, keeping his cum inside you, making sure it’s all right where it belongs. The thought makes him wonder. Makes him ask himself why it feels like it’s not just his seed that belongs to you. He doesn’t dare to speak what’s on his mind. Instead, he just continues to kiss you.

Unknowingly that you were just thinking the exact same thought as him. 

[crimsonteaaddict]

Delulu Yandere!Werewolf!Boyfriend who wants nothing more than to put his pups in his Male!Darling

Yandere!Werewolf!boyfriend who wants to get you pregnant so bad even though you can’t get pregnant and don’t have the facilities to become pregnant.

Werewolf!boyfriend who in or out of rut will pound into your whole repeatedly filling it for hours at a time whining about how he’s gonna put his pups in you.

Since you know that it’s not possible and despite trying to tell him when he wasn’t mating with you, the news only causing him to become pouty mumbling about how his mate doesn’t want his pups.

You can try and explain that your a man as much as you want, but he’ll simply agree that you are his man and his soon to be pregnant wife. Werewolves don’t actually do marriage, they just mate, so this belief that you were his wife came from the fact that you were recently reading a book where the small mate like protagonist got married and became a wife. Or at least that’s the conclusion he got from hearing about the romance from you. This will cause werewolf boyfriend to equate mate to wife, so good luck trying to tell him you’re not really a woman or married.

Werewolf!boyfriend will become very upset if enough time goes without a pup taking root in you. But not at you. No the big dope would begin pouting and questioning if he was a good enough mate.

It’s best if you do something quick, faking a pregnancy isn’t viable as depending on how delusional Werewolf!boyfriend is he may or may not write off the lack of change in your scent. If he doesn’t expect him to believe you don’t want his babies, and also expect him to chain you too his bed and begin feeding you all kinds of stuff meant to help you get pregnant.

If you choose to go a different route like leaving your cabin in the woods to go find the nice witch in the forest to help you, you’d have to do this quickly and in the hour or two werewolf!boyfriend is out hunting. This method would be successful as you would become able to carry his children.

Or better yet what if you do none of this and after a few months Werewolf!boyfriend seems to be trying to seed you less and is instead doting on you. He has suddenly begun shoving his nose to your neck every time he enters the same room as you and has somehow found a way to lessen the time you spend not in holding vicinity.

Werewolf!boyfriend has begun bringing back twice the hunt to feed you, and eventually mutter something complaining about how long it took his sperm to prepare your body.

Don’t worry you aren’t in for nine months of hell, luckily unluckily the werewolf pup gestation period is much shorter.

[someone-will-remember-us]

Elton John and David Furnish have done it, and so have Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West.

There’s a bloke from Essex who recently joined the club via an undisclosed overseas location and a 72-year-old Scotsman has just been recognised as the legitimate owner of an American one he bought back in 2020.

What we are talking about here is surrogacy: the incubation and effective purchase of babies after the careful selection of their component parts.

The global market – already worth almost $18 billion (£14 billion) – is projected to rise to $129bn by 2032, according to the research firm Global Market Insights, with anywhere between 5,000 and 20,000 babies incubated to order annually.

This covers the whole caboodle in which you can DIY things with a friend at one extreme, or go for the full Lamborghini treatment where, in some countries, an agent will help you shop around the globe for the finest sperm, eggs and wombs money can buy.

For those opting for the international pick and mix route, there are BOGOF deals (two implants for the price of one), the option of sex selection and a pay-as-you-go plan.

And that’s because you, the customer, are always right. As one agency, New Life Conceptual Limited, based in Lagos, Nigeria puts it: “…it takes four ingredients to make a baby: an egg, a sperm, a womb to grow in, and a family to go home to. You have the last ingredient, but you need a place for your baby to grow, and that’s why you’re here.”

Some companies even offer legal guarantees around defective foetuses that have to be aborted.

If you think I’m making this up, think again.

In the UK, where commercial surrogacy is banned but international imports are not, there are now between 400 and 500 new surrogate-incubated babies registered each year, while globally the business is more than doubling in value every two years.

Some call it a “miracle” and point to the invisible hand of the market creating a profitable multi-billion dollar industry in which everyone wins; a benign system of supply and demand the libertarian economist Leonard Read might have called I, Baby.

And while there is no suggestion that the multi-millionaire celebrities who have used surrogacy, like Elton John and the Kardashians, have exploited the surrogate mothers who bore their children, for others – including feminists like myself – the global surrogacy trade reeks of false entitlement.

It has been sanitised by the liberal “rights” agenda and the same self-serving logic that brands prostitutes “sex workers”. If it brings to mind a book or essay, it is Brave New World, Aldous Huxley’s dystopian novel about social engineering and evil hiding in plain sight.

To what extent, for example, is the lack of regulation around surrogacy driving impoverished women into unsafe and unconsented arrangements, as it once did so extensively with domestic and international adoption?

And what do we really know of all those hundreds of Brits now shopping for children around the world.

Can it really be right that you can effectively buy a baby overseas but raise it in Britain where commercial surrogacy is supposed to be banned?

Just as in the 1950s, ‘60s and ‘70s, when we thought of adoption as a favour to unsuitable mums whether they be “wayward” teens or impoverished Mexicans, surrogacy is being sanitised.

Delve into the subject on the Internet and you will find that almost everywhere you look, it’s celebrated. These babies, magicked into welcoming arms, are seemingly a modern miracle for childless couples of every stripe. TikTok is full of it.

Here in Blighty, we have only “ethical surrogacy”, says Surrogacy UK, a leading non-profit “providing a safe, supportive environment for surrogates, intended parents and families”.

Such organisations emphasise the benefits to infertile couples, and the “great gift” bestowed by women (aged 16 or older) who are happy to “altruistically” lend their womb to another for nine months.

Whilst such arrangements do work for some, there is no reliable data on what is really going on in the UK. This is because the sector is governed by a bizarre mish-mash of statute and common law, and because regulation, where it exists at all, is opaque.

Echoing the words of a Tarantino script, surrogacy is legal in the UK but not a hundred per cent legal.

It’s legal to enter into an agreement with a surrogate, it’s legal to pay her “reasonable expenses”, and, if you’re the owner of a womb, it’s legal to grow a child (made with your eggs or someone else’s) and give it away once it’s born.

But it’s illegal to advertise you are looking for a surrogate in the UK or solicit for business if you want to become a surrogate. It’s also an offence to arrange or negotiate a surrogacy arrangement as a “commercial enterprise”, but that doesn’t really matter because, get this: “reasonable expenses” can stretch beyond the average annual wage.

If money is still an obstacle, you can always rent a womb from a woman in a country like California, Cyprus or Greece where for-profit surrogacy is legal, before bringing the child back home to the UK.

Another oddity of the UK system is that, while it is a criminal offence to advertise surrogacy services, there are “some exemptions for not-for-profit organisations”. It is not clear how these agencies are selected but they are organisations that officials at the Department of Health and Social Care deem trustworthy. It is how agencies like Surrogacy UK and Brilliant Beginnings are able to proactively recruit and advertise a willing pool of surrogates in Britain.

“All our surrogates benefit from being a part of our thriving community and can enjoy a range of events and gifts along the way,” says the Brilliant Beginnings website. “Surrogate retreats” and “milestone gifts” such as chocolates, flowers and even bellybuds - speakers that allow mothers to play music to babies in the womb - are all part of the service.

Brilliant Beginnings says “expenses” payments to surrogate mothers in the UK typically range between £12,000 to £35,000. It is not known how well off the typical UK surrogate is in relation to the intended parents check, but there is potentially a stark economic divide.

“For surrogates who receive means-tested state benefits, it is important to be clear about whether benefits might be affected by any expenses received,” says the Best Beginnings website. “We would always recommend surrogates are upfront with their benefits office”.

Evidence for the benefits and harms of surrogacy in the UK are almost entirely anecdotal.

Disputes do occur but no one really knows their frequency or what they entail because they are heard in the secretive Family Court, which sits mainly in private and from which detailed reporting is banned.

An obvious problem in the UK, is that the flash point for disputes typically arises after the fact - that is, after a child has been born. This is the point at which the intended parents (or parent) must apply to the Court for a “transfer of legal parenthood” and, in most cases, will be the first time the state even becomes cognisant of the surrogacy arrangement.

An application for such a transfer can only be made with the surrogate’s consent but the decision hinges on what the Court considers to be in the best interests of the child, not the surrogate mother.

“The parental order process takes place after birth and involves the family court, and a court-appointed social worker,” says the DHSC website. “This provides a valuable safeguard for the best interests of the child”.

There is a growing recognition that the regulation of surrogacy in the UK is inadequate but the agencies who run it want legislative reforms that favour the would-be parents rather than the surrogate mothers.

They are especially exercised about the fact that written agreements between surrogates and intended parents are ultimately unenforceable in the UK courts.

Others, including myself, want the practice banned – as it is in many countries across the world. Miriam Cates, the former Conservative MP for Penistone and Stocksbridge, caused a storm in January when she said surrogacy was “just ethically not acceptable”.

“Of course adults have a strong desire to be parents, both men or women. Of course it’s a sadness if that’s unfulfilled for whatever reason – they can’t conceive, don’t have a partner, whatever it is.

“But to deliberately bring a child into the world in order to separate it from its mother at birth I think is just ethically not acceptable,” she said.

Alan White, chairman of Surrogacy UK, told a webinar hosted by the Royal College of Midwives in February that those of us who see the practice as unethical and exploitative were limiting choice and free will because we failed to properly understand the motivations of surrogate mothers.

“Surrogates don’t see themselves as mothers, they see themselves as extreme baby-sitters,” he said. “[They are] doing that wonderful thing of doing the part of having children women or gay men can’t do for themselves”.

To survive the psychological impact of giving away a child, there is little doubt that this sort of thinking helps.

As Helen Gibson, the founder of Surrogacy Concern points out, surrogates are encouraged to see themselves as a bystander – just the “the oven” or “the microwave”, as some describe themselves.

But this sort of psychological dissociation doesn’t always work, and perhaps seldom does.

I spoke to one UK woman who feels deep regret at her decision to enter into a surrogacy arrangement. Sandra, whose name I’ve changed, was 32 with two children of her own. She had escaped a violent husband, and was struggling to make ends meet.

A friend suggested she could make money by carrying a baby for an infertile couple. And, after approaching a UK agency she found via Facebook, she was told that in return for having the baby, she could enjoy “unlimited expenses, within reason”.

She was introduced to a gay male couple who wanted her to carry an implanted embryo, engineered with selected eggs to give them the best chance of a “tall, blonde child”. Sandra, by contrast, is short and dark.

The embryo transfer failed three times, and the IVF process made Sandra extremely sick. Eventually, the couple decided to go to California, but not before admonishing her for wasting “their time, and a lot of money.”

“I felt like a broodmare,” she told me.

If the UK surrogacy market is a classic British muddle, the global market is the wild west.  

And because no UK Court or Home Office official can possibly check the provenance of all the elements that go to make up a child (the sperm, the eggs, the IVF, or, crucially, the free agency of the surrogate mother), anything goes for the unscrupulous.

Although most countries around the world still ban the practice, there are more than enough who don’t.

In Greece and various US states including California, Washington DC and Arkansas, commercial surrogacy is fully legal. In many other countries it is either unregulated or very lightly regulated, enabling the trade to flourish. Countries in this bracket include Brazil, Mexico, Colombia, the Czech Republic, Argentina, Guatemala, Iran, Kenya, Nigeria, the Philippines, Russia and Ukraine.

WFI Surrogacy, one of America’s biggest providers, offers its customers what it calls a “live birth guarantee” – the promise that a birth will occur once the process is underway.

“The high quality of our egg donors and surrogate mothers enables us to make this type of guarantee”, says WFI. “Our live birth guarantee programs are available for either: singleton or twins [or] one specimen source or two specimen sources”.

“All our surrogate mothers are medically and psychologically screened,” it adds.

This is Big Fertility, whose business model relies on the commodification of every aspect of pregnancy.

A healthy overall budget for a Brit using the US surrogacy route sits between £250,000 to £320,000, according to the UK agency Brilliant Beginnings.

Often freelance agents or “fixers” will shop around the world for their clients to increase choice and reduce costs. A surrogate mum in Los Angeles, California costs a whole lot more than one from rural Mexico, for example.

Denmark has long been prized for its sperm, its tall blond donors making the most of their viking heritage.

For eggs, there are also options galore – and all pushed with a good dose of fairy tale genetics.

Egg Donor number “241222_01” on the World Center of Baby website (motto: every person deserves to be a parent) conforms precisely to the modern notion of female beauty as defined by Instagram.

Weighing in at just 66kg, she’s also “an artistic soul with a flair for creativity”. If you would prefer a sporty one, just go for donor number 241222_02 – “an athletic enthusiast, deeply engaged in fitness and sports”.

Embryos can be made up from the customers chosen eggs and sperm in any number of IVF labs around the world. They are then frozen and shipped to wherever the chosen surrogate may be. Fixers facilitate the entire process, including the negotiation of complex legal agreements and the careful arbitrage of international and domestic laws and regulations.

The wording of commercial surrogacy contracts is telling, the text reflecting the economic disparity between carrier and client.

“If Gestational Carrier suffers a loss of her uterus as a result of the performance of her obligations under this Agreement, she shall receive $5,000.00 from Intended Parents”, stipulates one contract.

It continues: “If Intended Parents jointly request Gestational Carrier to terminate the pregnancy because of the Child’s medical condition(s), she will do so promptly. If Gestational Carrier refuses to terminate, Gestational Carrier will have materially breached this Agreement and Intended Parents’ obligations under this Agreement shall cease immediately”.

Natalia Gamble, a director at Brilliant Beginnings, says the agency made an active decision “to only facilitate people going to places that we felt were ethical, secure, and safe”.

Although Ms Gamble is adamant that her approach is ethical, she helps clients go to Nigeria, Cyprus, and Ukraine, where commercial surrogacy flourishes.

“We made the active decision at Brilliant Beginnings to only facilitate people going to places that we felt were ethical, secure, and safe – we have very much focused on the US, but through our law firm (NGA Law) we have helped people go into places like Nigeria, Cyprus, and Ukraine because our role is much more not to help them do it in the first place but to help them bring their children home and resolve all the legalities afterwards,” she said.

Northern Cyprus even allows sex selection, with several clinics there advertising the service on their websites.

“The cases that are happening in Nigeria or Cyprus where it’s very unregulated and there’s no legal framework are a very, very small percentage of the overall international surrogacy landscape,” she said.

“We do need to be very alert to the risks of exploitation and those risks are greatest in places where there is no legal framework regulating how surrogacy is run [...] but, it’s about not overinflating those risks when the majority of people are going to what you might call ‘good surrogacy destinations’.”

Ms Gamble is pushing for a change to UK law that would grant commissioning parent(s) legal rights to the child (embryo) at the point of conception.

“It’s in the best interest of the child,” she says. “If you speak to any surrogate mother they will say ‘Look, I am not the mother of this child, I’m always very clear that it’s someone else’s child that I’m carrying’ – no one wants the surrogate mother on the birth certificate, including her.”

But is that really true – are surrogate mothers really so detached?

I spoke to Liane, who said her own experience of surrogacy caused “a huge amount of grief and hurt”.

She described the market as being infected with a sort of “toxic positivity”.

She added: “It’s painted as a wonderful thing to do, a beautiful selfless act which can only bring joy when for me, I felt used, manipulated, and devastated”.

Ms Gibson of Surrogacy Concern says cases involving “coercion and regret” are not uncommon, even within the UK’s surrogacy model.

“Surrogacy prioritises the wants of the adults ahead of the needs of the child, and creates a societal sense of entitlement towards women’s bodies,” she said.

The practices of single men buying children abroad, white couples using black surrogate mothers, and the growing trend towards using cut price surrogacy destinations such as Mexico, Colombia, Kenya and Ghana are all on Surrogacy Concern’s radar.

Physical harms to surrogate mothers are real. Carrying a baby always involves serious risk but, for surrogates, those risks are often greatly magnified.

Linda Khan, an epidemiologist based in the departments of Paediatrics and Population Health at NYU, says surrogates run an “increased risks of all kinds of pregnancy complications, which lead to adverse outcomes for women and children”.

One factor, she says, is that the embryo is not biologically related to the woman and implanted via IVF. Another is that “many women are carrying multiples because it’s so expensive. They want two for the price of one”.

“Twinning is not safe, even when it occurs naturally. It is a huge burden on women’s bodies, it gets all the risks of complications sky-rocketing.”

Whilst it would be difficult (though not impossible) to ban or abolish surrogacy entirely – changing laws to ban the ‘womb traffickers’ as many campaigners refer to the brokers, should be a priority.

The marketing of surrogacy should also be made subject to tougher regulation, say some experts, although many others favour a blanket ban.

“Surrogacy is a trade that makes commodities of children, of embryos and of eggs, and reduces women to being seen as machines,” said Ms Gibson. “It should not masquerade as a progressive solution to the problem of infertility.”

Further, any legal protections introduced in the UK should be for the benefit of the surrogate mothers giving birth and the babies, rather than for the commissioning parents or agents, adds Ms Gibson. A commissioning parent should never have a legal right to remove a baby if a woman has changed her mind.

In March last year, experts from 75 countries signed the Casablanca Declaration, which calls for a global ban on all forms of surrogacy. And in April this year, an international conference was held in Rome with an aim to provide all States with a legal instrument banning the practice of surrogate motherhood.

Implicit within it is a rejection of the fanciful and dangerous notion that anyone, anywhere has an inalienable right to a child.

“The regulations of each country are not enough to stop human trafficking globally,” said Bernard Garcia Larrain, the Executive Director of the Casablanca Declaration for the Universal Abolition of Surrogacy.

“We need an international treaty to prohibit surrogacy because this is a global market that moves a lot of money and knows no borders,” he added.

[rottenpumpkin13]

A spell goes terribly wrong and Sephiroth is reverted to a toddler. What goes down and how do AGZC react? (Thank you for all your headcannons btw, they are wonderful!! ♥)

Accidental Toddler Sephiroth Acquisition

• Zack heads over to the materia room on the 49th floor to drop off some naturally formed materia he had found on a mission he just got back from. He sits around waiting for one of the scientists to assist him.

• He spots a basket of bright green materia orbs, mindlessly picks one up and starts playing with it. Then he's informed by one of the techs that the scientist responsible will only be in the office tomorrow. Zack forgets the materia isn't his and pocket it as he thanks the tech and leaves.

• Zack heads over to Sephiroth's office because he's bored and wants to see his buddy. He opens Sephiroth's office door. He is greeted by Sephiroth. Uh oh the materia is burning in his pocket. UH OH IT'S BURNING IN HIS POCKET.

• He takes the materia out and panic-drops it on the ground. He watches Sephiroth stand up and walk over to the materia to see if he can deescalate the situation.

• The materia explodes.

• And suddenly he's standing before three-year-old Sephiroth who looks very scared and confused.

• Cloud comes to Sephiroth's office after Zack had called him freaking out. Zack called Cloud first because Cloud is notoriously level-headed and won't yell at Zack for his mistake.

Zack: Thank god you're here! I don't know—

Cloud: WHY WOULD TURN SEPHIROTH INTO A TODDLER?

Zack: I MADE A MISTAKE.

Cloud: NO, MRS. FAIR MADE A MISTAKE WHEN SHE GAVE BIRTH TO YOU.

Zack: .......

*The yelling upsets Sephiroth, who buries his head in his hands and starts crying*

Cloud: Oh no! I didn't mean to scare you. Come here—*Cloud picks him up, immediately Sephiroth buries his head in Cloud's neck as he consoles him by bouncing him up and down*

Cloud: Wow so he really reverted back into a toddler.

Zack: Yup! And the worst part is *Zack picks up the broken materia* I have NO idea how to fix this!

*Sephiroth stops crying and gazes up curiously at Cloud's hair*

Cloud: Why don't you go back to the materia room and get help?

*Sephiroth reaches up and touches Cloud's hair*

Zack: Are you kidding me? I'd be in so much trouble! The best thing to to right now is find Genesis and Angeal. Genesis will know how to turn him back and Angeal will know how to care for him in the meanwhile.

Cloud: That sounds like a good idea. Are you up for it, Sephiroth?

Sephiroth: A chocobo!

Cloud: .........

• Zack and Cloud run into the elevator en route to Angeal's apartment (where hopefully Genesis will also be). Unfortunately they run into Director Lazard.

Lazard: .......

Zack (to Cloud): Maybe if we don't mention the child he won't ask about the child.

Lazard: I'm inquiring about the child.

Cloud: There's a perfectly good explanation for this. Right, Zack?

*Zack wraps an arm around Cloud's back*

Zack: We got married and this is our child.

Cloud: WHAT?

Lazard: Why does the child look like Sephiroth?

Cloud: There's a perfectly good explanation for that. Right, Zack?

Zack: Sephiroth was our sperm donor.

• Zack, Cloud and Sephiroth stand there awkwardly as Lazard retrieves a small pill bottle from his breast pocket and downs it with a liquor flask.

*Zack and Cloud bang on Angeal's door until it opens and Genesis greets them*

Genesis: How wonderful. You have a child!

Zack: We can explain—

Genesis: There's no need. I already know what this is.

Cloud: You do?

Genesis: Of course. You two had been in love all along, and then you went ahead, tied the knot, and thought it was a brilliant idea to ask Sephiroth to spare his sperm to create a child that looks exactly like him.

Cloud: Am I the only reasonable person around here??

Genesis: Either that or Zack accidentally turned Sephiroth into a toddler by misuse of materia.

Zack: Yes.

Genesis: Oh sweet goddess we're all going to be arrested.

• After explaining the whole thing thoroughly to Genesis and Angeal—who spends a good 10 minutes after yelling at him (while Genesis pulls Sephiroth's hair into a french braid), they inspect the broken materia.

• According to Genesis the spell can't be permanent, which means they should wait out Sephiroth's transformation until further notice.

*Cloud turns to Zack*

Cloud: You know what this means, right?

Zack: Yeah, it means we gotta take care of Sephiroth and make sure Hojo doesn't find out about his transformation.

Cloud: No, you asshole, it means that we just became parents and you never even asked me out for a date, much less put a ring on my finger.

Zack:

Genesis, with Miniroth in his lap, who's playing with his earring: Now hang on, Angeal and I are older, and he's to stay in Angeal's apartment while he waits out the spell. This clearly means that Angeal and I are his parents.

Angeal: You don't even like children!

Genesis: How wrong you are. I rather enjoy the presence of certain—ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow take him take him TAKE HIM.

*Sephiroth is pulling on Genesis' earring*

*Zack grabs Sephiroth back*

Zack: How dare you?? Me and Cloud are his parents! You and Angeal can be his uncles.

Cloud: If anything Angeal is the mom friend, so he can be the mother.

Angeal: Don't be ridiculous.

*Sephiroth perks up at the mention of mother and looks at Angeal*

Sephiroth: Mama?

*Angeal breaks down crying, takes Sephiroth and runs off*

• They're all giving Miniroth a bath. Sephiroth initially protests, but Angeal's soothing voice and gentle demeanor quickly put him at ease. Zack and Genesis are using plastic cups as a makeshift boats, and battling each other's ships with overexaggerated noises to make Sephiroth laugh.

• Cloud distracts Sephiroth by blowing bath bubbles and popping them. This makes Sephiroth giggle uncontrollably and attempt to make bubbles too.

• This results in Sephiroth splashing water at all of them and making a mess. No one can be mad because he looks so happy, and it's doubtful he was ever allowed to merge bath time and playtime in the labs under Hojo's "care"

• Then they feed him, another joint-effort as everyone thinks they know what's good for Sephiroth. Genesis cuts up Banora White apples into small, manageable pieces. He erupts in praises and cheer when Sephiroth manages to eat half the apple.

• Zack feeds him chips, but is a bad influence, and teaches Miniroth to blow the chip bag up and pop it. This of course results in chips flying everywhere and now Zack is stuck with a broom, cleaning it all up.

• Cloud offers him some milk (fun silly-straw included). Sephiroth accidentally knocks the cup over and spills it all over the table. He starts crying and apologizing, expecting them to scold him for the mistake.

• They absolutely don't do that. Angeal picks him up and console him while Zack and Cloud wipe up the mess. Sephiroth tearfully explains in his broken toddler speech that Professor Hojo always gets very mad and punishes him when he makes a mistake.

They have to physically hold Genesis down because he's all but ready to go down to the labs and kill Hojo, which is tempting, yes, but it would alert R&D of Sephiroth's transformation.

• They move on to playtime next in hopes it'll tire Sephiroth out enough to be put down for a nap. Imagine they're shock once they realize little Sephiroth doesn't have a lot of experience when it comes to playing with toys.

• He doesn't know what to do with the lego pieces Zack provided him with (which is good, in Angeal's opinion, because a three-year-old could definitely choke on them)

• Genesis coaxes Sephiroth into playing with a toy sword. It both amuses and pains him to realize how comfortable toddler Sephiroth feels with a weapon, as he's now play fighting with him and Cloud.

• Angeal finds a coloring book and crayons. He finds it very unnatural how Sephiroth tries his best to color inside the lines and doesn't make any mistakes. He chalks it up as another product of Hojo's ruthless "parenting" and encourages Sephiroth to scribble.

• Sephiroth learns that he loves to scribble.

• Sephiroth now wants to scribble everything in sight.

• Sephiroth spots Genesis' copy of Loveless.

• Genesis will have an unpleasant surprise later.

• They finally put Sephiroth down for bed. Zack had ran all the way back to his place in search of every stuffed animal he could find—which just so happened to be 4 stuffed chocobos.

*Sephiroth looks at the stuffed chocobo*

Cloud:

*Sephiroth looks at Cloud*

Cloud:

*Sephiroth looks at the stuffed chocobo*

Cloud:

*Sephiroth looks at Cloud*

Cloud: AlriGHT I GET IT.

• Sephiroth falls asleep in Angeal's bed under a heap of blankets as Genesis reads him a bedtime story. As everyone else files out of the room, Zack decides to stay back and watch over him in case he wakes up.

• Everyone's perspective shifts after this incident.

Genesis: He had always nursed an unspoken envy for Sephiroth, but it wasn't until he saw a child denied their innocence and so not used to being carefree, all in the relentless pursuit of an untouchable hero status, that he truly understood the depth of Sephiroth's troubled childhood. Genesis vows to both show more understanding and affection towards his best friend, and maim Hojo.

Angeal: Seeing Sephiroth's vulnerability as a child tugs at Angeal's heartstrings, not because he's clearly traumatized, but because he can identify traces of child Sephiroth in adult Sephiroth, remnants of a childhood he never had. He sees this realization as an opportunity to make up for lost time and provide the love and support Sephiroth never received when he was a toddler.

Zack & Cloud: They had long idolized Sephiroth as a hero, but now, having gained a deeper understanding into the struggles he endured to become that hero, they develop a newfound respect and empathy for him.

*Lazard corners Zack and Cloud on the SOLDIER floor*

Lazard: I finally understand what happened. That child wasn't yours, it was Sephiroth who turned into a toddler after you undoubtedly cast a spell on him.

Zack: Argh! You got us. But you're wrong about one thing, though.

Lazard: What?

Cloud: The child, was in fact, ours. But we officially handed custody over to Angeal and Genesis this morning.

*Just then Angeal and Genesis walk by. Angeal is carrying fully grown and back to normal Sephiroth in his arms, while Genesis trails behind them, feeding Sephiroth apple sauce*

Sephiroth: For the last time, there's no need for this. While I understand that you needed to care for my toddler form to ensure my safety, I'm fully capable of taking care of myself now.

Genesis: Here comes the airplane! Say 'ah'

Sephiroth: Ahhh

[loth-creatures]

Wolf Ezra's final form

Lothwolfwalkers

I've been frothing at the mouth to reveal this for some time, but I also wanted to put together a synopsis of what I imagine he's been through after getting blasted into the unknown and his time on Peridea. Also will include some lore I came up with for Peridea! This post will likely be edited/added to every so often.

Also! I have a sideblog now @lothwolfwalkers

Ezra's many new scars are mostly from the shattered glass flying around the Chimera's bridge. Thrawn has a matching set. Ezra fell into a very deep meditation upon entering hyperspace, using the Force to keep a bubble of life support for himself and Thrawn. During this time he converses with the Purrgil, and beholds way too much knowledge of the universe for one person to hold in their head. He's probably a little weird after all that; frequently spaces out very badly while experiencing intense visions of things he saw and learned but can't remember.

The Purrgil travel much faster than ships. It takes them three days to reach the other galaxy, whereas it takes the Sion a few weeks (I want the Sion's voyage to be very very miserable for everyone) I'm going wild with the ocean metaphors for space and the Force here; Ships only ever skim the surface of hyperspace, whereas the Purrgil evolved to sink far deeper, where the current is much stronger and farther from time and real space. Sort of like how we can cross the ocean's surface on ships but animals like sperm whales can dive to extraordinary depths on the power of their own biology. To the Purrgil an intergalactic voyage is a hop across the pond.

The Purrgil don't drop the Chimera off on Peridea. They track along the very edge of the galaxy and their first stop is a barren volcanic planet that I've been calling Hel in my head (gonna be leaning into the Norse mythology theme). Although if anything its more like Davy Jones' Locker from POTC: At Worlds End.

The Chimera crashes and is grounded here for several months. All the internal systems are dead, everyone is unconscious after dropping out of hyperspace (like after the jump through the star cluster to Lirasan). Ezra escapes the crash as a wolf, beyond delirious and exhausted, forgetting his human body. It's not long before he's tortured into returning to it. It's also not long before the crew of the Chimera regret that. They could barely contain him for long under normal circumstances, let alone while the ship is in shambles and their resources are limited. He certainly spends some time in the walls and any repairs they've made are severely set back by the time he decides to steal a TIE Defender and leave.

Ezra then does the only thing he can. He follows the Purrgil. With no means to navigate and no way to obtain fuel, the only path forward is that of the Purrgil, as fruitless a path as it is, for the Purrgils' destinations are isolated from any form of advanced civilization that might exist in the new galaxy. Ezra is a step ahead in terms of conserving fuel as he can hitch a ride with the Purrgil. However, Thrawn knows Ezra and the Purrgil are their only hope of navigating this strange galaxy, and surgically implanted a tiny tracker on Ezra’s human body while he had the chance. It takes Ezra several months to realize this, as Thrawn is careful about how closely they follow him. When he does, he takes the Chimera on a wild goose chase, trying to run the them out of fuel. By now he's learned he can run alongside the Purrgil as a wolf through hyperspace.

Ezra leaves his ship and body on the most barren useless planets the Purrgil stop by, and continues to follow them as a wolf for as far as he can, trying to map their routes in his head, trying to find the way home. Then doubling back in the ship, zig zagging, going in circles and doing everything he can to cover their tracks. This goes on for about a year. I suppose they must find some form of fuel somehow in order to continue that long, but its inefficient and damaging to the ships.

Thrawn occasionally threatens to recapture Ezra, in order to keep him moving, but doesn't yet know that Ezra knows about the tracker and doesn't want to give it away. Perhaps he does recapture Ezra once or twice. And immediately regrets it. No matter what they do to human Ezra, Wolf Ezra simply can't be contained and tends to short out the entire electrical system as he drifts on and off the ship, straight through the hull in his spirit form. Human Ezra causes lots of problems on the way out when he inevitably escapes. The entire crew just want him dead. But they also know he's their only chance of escaping this exile.

This cat and mouse game takes a massive toll on his own ship though, and by the time they reach Peridea, its completely broken down, out of fuel and will never get off the ground again. At this point Ezra uses the Force to locate and disable the tracker, but has no way to safely remove it from his body, which he's pretty pissed about. He disappears into Peridea's wilderness. The Chimera becomes a grounded fortress and will not lift off again for several years. While Thrawn contacts and makes allies of the Night Sisters, Ezra befriends the Noti and also becomes amicable with many of the bandit clans.

Except I'm not calling them bandits, they need actual names. After googling "old norse word for blank" a few times and taking the first result, I came up with Hundur Ridarri for the howler riders we see in the show, roughly meaning 'dog horsemen' and Vatn Fari roughly meaning 'lake farers' as I imagine Peridea having many massive lakes or seas, and many of the 'bandits' are mariners. Their ships are mostly made from the bones and skin of giant sea creatures, which they also hunt for food.

Wolf Ezra has been known to tow in derelict ships caught in storms or attacked by creatures of the deep, and has ferried survivors of shipwrecks to shore on his back. He is sometimes offered some of their catch in return. He mostly avoids them though, as they occasionally treat with Thrawn and the Sisters.

The Noti on the other hand keep to themselves and are so good at hiding that Thrawn doesn't even know about them. Ezra’s body is quite safe with them and in return he defends them and helps them find food, and is quickly adopted as one of their own. They mostly survive on the washed up corpses of lake creatures, which Ezra can sniff out from miles away, and can tear the carcasses open for them, saving hours of carving through tough skin and bone. Ezra can also stomach it as a wolf but prefers to fish along the shoreline.

Ezra can't stay undetected forever though, he's not exactly inconspicuous as a wolf. As Thrawn now has powerful allies and resources, he's made a project out of capturing Ezra and attempting to study his wolfwalker abilities, something the Sisters are intrigued by as well and keen to experiment on. The Emporer was highly interested even before they knew about healing powers and teleportation. If Thrawn is to return to the Empire, he intends to do so with something to show for it. And a bit of vengeance.

The Sisters do succeed in capturing and containing the wolf briefly several times. One of their smaller strongholds (known as Gleipnir after the string that binds Fenrir in Norse mythology) becomes increasingly dedicated to the project. Ezra always escapes, but it gets harder each time. And if they ever find his human body, it's all over.

Meanwhile, Ezra is still trying to find a way home. He has no way of carrying his human body with him, can only follow the Purrgil so far as a wolf. The further he gets from his body, the more tired and sick he becomes until he simply can't keep up and is slowly and painfully dragged back to his body through the Force. There is no chance of him crossing between the galaxies. But he tries anyway, hoping he can get stronger, run farther before faltering, hoping someday he will make it just far enough to tell someone where to look. He only succeeds in hurting himself. It's too risky to try stealing another ship off the Chimera, as they are actively using their remaining TIEs as bait and he cannot afford to get caught again now that there's a real chance he'd never escape.

The Purrgil may go to Peridea to die, but they don't all die at once; the young escort their elders to their final resting place, the elders in turn show the young where to go to visit their dead and eventually join them.

Back home, Kanan searches for Ezra through the World Between Worlds. He has no luck, as the wbw doesn't extend between galaxies. The new galaxy likely has its own version but they are not connected. Kanan feels in his heart that Ezra is alive, but has no hope of finding him. Meanwhile Sabine often has dreams as a wolf, running through the wbw, following Ezra's faint faint scent, only to run right off the edge of the map and fall to oblivion. Ezra cannot sleep as a wolf without falling straight through reality and onto the paths of the Purrgil, where every minute contains a lifetime and every pawstep crosses light years. It's so very easy to become lost.

[stagefoureddiediaz]

I am having thoughts though - as people seem to have ave decided to theorise about the will being brought up to Tommy 🙄 and that being the hurdle they need to deal with.

I’m actually thinking its more likely to be the sperm donor baby, although I feel like there’s plenty of other stuff more 118 connected that could and would work just as well!

The thing with the sperm donor and tommy being weirded out by it, is the way that it would juxtapose so perfectly if the will was brought up as part of the Buck/Eddie stuff that’s going to happen in 806 - the sitting in silence - because it works on so many levels.

It creates a clear and obvious contrast between Eddie and Tommy while not making Eddie part of the bt plot in any way (which is very good and what the show has been doing so far - nothing buddie has happened with Tommy present - it’s always been separate and they’ve always taken tommy out of the equation at the start leading into buddie stuff - even the birthday stuff in 801 - 2 lines and then step out of camera so we can focus on buck and Eddie’s faces in tandem!)

It creates a potential hurdle in that it brings in a wanting kids/ not wanting kids conversation and that can then spiral out into the way Buck sacrifices his body constantly for others (which plays back into the will of it all without it being about the will of it all) Tommy being weirded out by the donor thing but then saying that other forms of self sacrifice are ok could be interesting - the idea that Tommy thinks it’s a good thing to be ‘expendable’ on the job as saving others is more important than one’s own life.

It would even let Tim play on the death of it all - have the arc that Natalia would’ve had if she’d stuck around. We already saw her weirded out by the sperm donor thing, then come back only to be told she constantly wanted to talk about bucks death. They’ve also already planted the lightning strike into the bt plot - at the hanger in 704 - so it all would make sense if Tommy is down for dying or Buck dying on the job (like not literally dying but stating that he doesn’t see dying on the job - sacrificing himself for others as a bad thing)

That would get Buck thinking about who he is and what he wants and allow for his death and rebirth to be explored a bit more than it was in 6b, and it would also play into the saving Gerrard/ meaning to hurt him thing as well - and Bucks struggles with that.

It would be very interesting as a way to deal with all Bucks baggage (as Oliver mentioned!) and get him to deal with it - whilst setting him up to realise his feelings for Eddie in an organic way that separate from Tommy!

I can see them taking that route and I’d actually love it if they did, and not only because it plays very heavily into my tommy is alt buck theory, but also because it really and truly would get buck off all of the various hamster wheels he’s been on and actually moving forward rather than flirting with moving forward!

[formlines]

The White Whale

Kyran Yeomans

from the website: The Idea of having a piece which could represent the ever-moving finish line, something always just out of reach, was the starting point for this piece. We can have ideals or goals as motivation to be moving in a certain direction, but to do so without an appreciation of the scenic route we take on the way to meet these goals would mean opportunities and relfections lost.

Mocha Dick, the white sperm whale from the 1800’s that birthed the expression, “white whale”, as representing something that is obsessively pursued, made the waters of the southern Pacific its home. Here in this piece, its spirit lives on, awaiting its new home where it may bring peace of mind and heart to those who have at long last found their White Whale.

[pannman]

Incorrect Quotes of Charlie and Vaggie announcing they're having a baby to the gang and Sir Pentious in heaven (whatever it's adopted or IVF your choice)

Yo, I googled IVF, but lemme just say idk why.... but I forgot two women can't have their own baby. I was like, "Why does it need to be adopted?" And "does IVF mean their biological child somehow?" You will never know how stupid I felt. Lol, it's been a long week 😔

Anyway I took a different route...

Charlie: so attention everyone! Vaggie and I have decided to have a baby!

Niffty: yay! Congratulations!

Angel: how?

Vaggie: well we've done some research and apparently sinners can impregnate hellborns so we are actually thinking of asking someone to be a sperm doner

Angel: I'm flattered!

Husk: they didn't say it was gonna be you!

Angel: why would YOU wanna be daddy when you already are?

Alastor enters: what did I miss?

Vaggie: we're looking for a sperm doner

Alastor starts to leave the room: goodbye

Charlie: it's not through sex. Its done medically.

Alastor: so, you want my genes now?

Vaggie: absolutely not! We are not raising a little psychopath

Alastor's eye starts twitching

Angel: yeah they want someone like me!

Husk: why would they want you?

Alastor: If i may interject I'm the only candidate not covered in fur

Angel: Oh NOW you want this! What happened to "goodbye"?

Vaggie leaning over to Charlie to whisper: this was a terrible idea. Let's just adopt

Doors fly open

Sir pentious in his angel form: I heard everything from above and I am here!

Silence...

Angel: YOU WERE REDEEMED!?!!

[rjzimmerman]

Excerpt from this story from Inside Climate News:

An estimated 90 percent of all traded goods travel by sea, where vessels tap into a vast network of shipping routes that connect even the most far-flung places. 

But humans aren’t the only ones traversing vast distances across these marine highways. A new study found that shipping occurs in more than 90 percent of whale ranges, where the animals can often get hit—becoming what scientists grimly refer to as “ocean roadkill.” By combining shipping and whale distribution data, the researchers pinpointed the areas with the highest risk of whale-vessel collision for several species. They discovered just a small fraction of these hotspots have any collision protection measures in place. 

“There’s just extremely high overlap of shipping traffic with whales,” said study co-author Briana Abrahms, a wildlife biologist at the University of Washington. “These whales are just having to contend with an incredibly, incredibly busy ocean, and shipping traffic is a leading cause of mortality for several whale species.” 

Shipping, cruise and fishing vessels fatally strike an estimated 20,000 whales around the world each year. Scientists say this is likely an underestimate because vessels could unwittingly hit a whale whose body sinks to the seafloor before it is recorded. Climate change could be increasing vessel strike risk as ocean warming and marine heatwaves push whales closer to human activity.

There is a bright spot. Research shows that low-speed zones and shipping reroutes can help keep whales out of danger, while reducing emissions and improving air quality for people. And a little protection could go a long way: Expanding these management measures across an additional 2.6 percent of the ocean could mitigate the highest-risk collision hotspots, according to the study. 

Whales are some of the most well-traveled cosmopolitans of the sea. For example, humpbacks can swim around 5,000 miles each year during their seasonal migration. Yet the exact hang-out spots or routes that different cetacean species use on their journeys are still largely a mystery. 

To help change that, the researchers collated more than 435,000 whale sightings from a variety of sources, including government surveys, scientific tagging studies, whale-watching citizen scientists and even historic whaling records. They focused on four globally ranging species: fin whales, sperm whales, humpbacks and blue whales—the largest mammals on Earth. 

The scientists then inputted this deluge of data into a predictive model, and created some of the first comprehensive worldwide maps for where these ocean giants spend their time.

Now, scientists can “take a really global look at where these animals are in the ocean where we haven’t really always had eyes on in the past,” Abrahms said. 

[yukidragon]

Sunny Day Jack - SunnyTime Crew Headcanons

I accidentally went on a bit of a ramble about the relationship of Jacktor and Jean over on twitter, and I realized that I haven't mentioned here just how drastically my thoughts have evolved about Jean Laurent since the last couple times I talked about him. So let's talk about my current headcanons for Jean and the other stars of the SunnyTime Crew, specifically their relationships with Joseph and Mary in Sunshine in Hell.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur @kurokrisps

For the longest time, the popular theories in the fandom have been that Jean is secretly Ian's father and that due to jealousy he might have had something to do with [Redacted]'s death, it not outright murdered him. I thought that the former was a neat idea and would add a lot of potential drama, both for Ian and for Joseph when these truths of the past were brought about in the present. I wasn't opposed to the latter theory, but I didn't really feel it had much weight behind it, and I didn't feel like going that route for my telling of the story.

Then three big things happened that totally changed my thoughts about Jean. First, I learned that Rory Rainberry is canonically gay. While the character and the actor aren't necessarily the same person - as Sunny Day Jack from CloudyTown is different from runaway Joseph Cullman, for example - a big part of the game surrounds how the character and the actor are tangled up and blended together. As such, it feels only right to me that the actor for Rory is also gay like the character he plays.

This, of course, means that unless Ian's mom was Jean's beard, or a fling he had while experimenting with his sexuality, it's unlikely they were in a relationship. It's not impossible, of course, since we know so little about Jean at this point. Heck, for all all we know he sold sperm to a sperm bank for extra cash on the sly.

The second thing I learned were several little tidbits of info from the new afterlife story in the latest build of the demo. I won't discuss any details about it here, as it's a closed beta for only members of a certain tier of the patreon and kickstarter backers, but I got a new sense of the vibes during that era in time.

The third big thing that happened is the sunberry renaissance over on twitter, spearheaded by the delightful Chosee. Sunberry, for those not yet in the know, is the ship name for Sunny Day Jack and Rory Rainberry. I'd say it's thanks to Chosee that Rory and Jean are enjoying a new surge of popularity, as well as a fresh perspective on the characters.

These three things - along with thinking more about this era of the story thanks to expanding Mary and Joseph's headcanons - inspired me to totally change what I wanted to do with Jean in Sunshine in Hell.

Naturally, before we begin I want to emphasize that these are my personal headcanons and telling of the story, and as such don't necessarily reflect the canon of the game. (Heck, for all I know, the initial fan theories are the correct after all!) Game theories can wait for another post.

A Good Impression

As we can tell from the interview with Dan, Sunny Day Jack was the most popular character on the SunnyTime Crew Show. While none of the cast members were immune to jealousy, it never got to the point of in-fighting, let alone murder. Each member of the crew had plenty of fans to adore each of them, even if Jack was the most popular character by far.

Joseph was highly nervous when first meeting his fellow cast members at the start and tried his best to make a good impression. He refused to make the same mistakes he did in the past that made so many people dislike him, and he totally reinvented himself. He had a brand new identity, a brand new name, and a brand new friendly attitude. No one ever had to know what type of person he used to be... not even the one person there who knows his name isn't really James Haberdae.

It's a fresh start for Joseph. He's been given a second chance to start over with the love of his life by his side. He wants to do things right this time. He wants to be happy with Mary and help make both their dreams come true. He wants get along with people, actually make friends for once instead of enemies... and most of all he doesn't want to let down the kids the way he was put down all the time when he was a child.

Joseph - or rather "James" - is rather well liked by his coworkers. He's helpful and friendly, eager to learn more how to to best do his job and help his costars. Despite his worries and past experiences, he winds up charming many people working at the studio.

The years Joseph spent on the street taught him how to please others in order to survive. Now he can actually use what he learned to build an actual life for himself, rather than drifting along barely scraping by. He swallows his temper when slighted and goes out of his way to be helpful at the studio, even if it means he winds up taking more work upon himself.

Fortunately Mary is there to keep Joseph from tipping too far the other direction and giving too much of himself to everyone else. She's got some bad people-pleasing habits as well, but because she's especially concerned for her starlight's wellbeing, she does her best to make sure he's taking care of his own needs too. Naturally, he does the same for her in return.

Of course, it's pretty well known that Joseph and Mary are together. It's kept on the down low, as the studio doesn't want any gossip anywhere within a mile of the SunnyTime Crew Show or its characters, but those who work on the show are aware of their relationship.

Most find the pair cute, but at least one person is a bit...

Well, I don't want to talk about a certain person here since that might be spoilers for the new afterlife story, so I'll say that at least Joseph's costars thought the pair were cute together.

In a way, the people at the studio are the first real friends Joseph has ever made besides his sunshine. They don't know his past or even his real name like Mary does, but that's for the better. He can reinvent himself, make a new future while keeping the only good thing about his past.

Finally Joseph isn't alone anymore.

Jean

Jean Laurent is an old hat when it comes to showbusiness. He was a child star who was put in front of a camera before he even had a concept of what a camera was. He's been in everything from sitcoms to soap operas to commercials, and he even had minor roles in a couple films.

Funny thing is that the SunnyTime Crew Show isn't Jean's first time being part of a wildly popular TV show that reached a national audience. As a child, he was part of a wholesome family sitcom. His precocious personality, as well as a memorable catch phrase captured hearts all across America. The show is one of those old classics that is still vaguely a part of pop culture even in the present day.

As an adult, Jean distanced himself from being boxed into that specific character or being viewed as a child. He wanted to be taken more seriously as a mature, grown up actor, but he's rather pigeonholed by the perception of him as a child even many years and roles later. The SunnyTime Crew Show wasn't his first pick of roles, and he mostly auditioned as a favor for someone, but the other acting gigs he wanted more fell through.

Any gig is better than none, especially when you want to get better roles one day. Playing the part of a clown baker for little kids might not be what he wanted, but it's fine for now. Sure the studio works them hard, but what studio doesn't? All things considered, it's not as bad as other places, especially since he's not the poor schmuck stuck center stage.

Yeah, Jean does feel the occasional jealous twinge when Sunny Day Jack gets more attention and love than Rory Rainberry, but overall he's perfectly happy being somewhat overlooked. Being the star that gets all the attention isn't all it's cracked up to be, especially when people still see him as the annoying character he's trying to distance himself from. He twitches whenever someone says the name of that old show or the character he used to play.

And if anyone even jokes about prodding him to say that old catch phrase, he's throwing hands. He is never saying those words ever again. Never. Again.

Well... unless he gets paid ridiculously well. Despite spending so many years as a popular child star, his nest egg is less than ideal because his parents were the ones holding the purse strings. Those bastards wasted his hard earned money on drugs, hookers, expensive cars, and all sorts of useless shit. Once he became an adult, he amputated that dead weight as soon as he could. His family still tries to hit him up for cash occasionally, but they've well and truly burned any bridges they had to him.

Yes, Jean has a lot of experience with the world of showbusiness, both its highs and lows. He's practically seen it all.

That's why Jean could see Joseph was in way, way over his head. He knows all too well that fresh meat like Joseph - especially when they're so soft and tender - is going to get eaten alive. He's seen it many, many times before.

Jean didn't intend to get close to his fellow costars, or anyone working at the studio really. This was just a stopover role, something to pad his resume and bank account until he landed a part someplace better. You never know who in this cutthroat business is genuine and who is looking for an opportunity to stab you in the back while wearing a smile on their face.

Damn it if Joseph didn't get past Jean's defenses in spite of himself.

Jean was certain that Joseph was a bright star that's going to burn out quickly, just a newbie that got ridiculously lucky. He had every reason not to get too close, but over time he and Joseph bonded. At first he pegged "James" as a boy scout, a sweet and naïve golden retriever of a man who was practically born for the role of Sunny Day Jack.

Over time things changed bit by bit. Joseph was so earnest that Jean wound up feeling sorry for the guy and threw out a bit of advice here and there. Just to make things easier for himself of course. Joseph was always so grateful, so eager to learn, it made Jean feel awkward for how harshly he'd come across.

The actors all smoked, so the four would often wind up hanging out while taking their cigarette breaks. While Jean didn't tend to start conversation, the others were more open to talking. Venting about the bosses was a sure way to get Jean to join in, and he wasn't immune to laughing along to a funny story or ribbing a costar for something embarrassing that happened.

Joseph never pushed himself too hard on Jean when trying to make friends. He saw a bit of his old self in Jean in the way he used to push people away with a prickly exterior, ready with some cutting snark and raise his defenses at a moment's notice. He was friendly, but never encroached on Jean's personal space unless invited. That consideration played a big part in Jean eventually warming up to him.

Over time, friendship grew between the four, much to Jean's chagrin. Sure he had the occasional spat with Cloudy-Belle Sue's actress, but he respected her. Knackadan Drizzle's actor was a riot and a great wingman at the local hot spots when Jean was looking for a handsome gent to take home for the night.

With things being not quite so progressive in the 1980's like they were today, Jean had to keep his homosexuality on the down low. While the studio overlooked quite a few "questionable" things people did when working there, it was only overlooked if the news never caught wind of anything. This was why Jean had adopted the motto of "don't shit where you eat," so he made it a policy never to date his coworkers.

Of course, a little subtle flirting never hurt anyone when the cameras were off. When he was in a good mood of course. Jean didn't often let people know when he was in a good mood, but after he made friends with his costars, he would occasionally flirt with the two good looking men who shared the stage with him. It was all in good fun.

Really, Jean would've been very tempted to break his rule of not dating coworkers for Joseph. Those handsome looks were a big part of Jack's popularity for good reason. If Joseph wasn't already in a happily committed relationship, he would've most likely asked the other man to come to his place or a hotel for the night.

Nothing would've come of it beyond a night of sex even if Joseph was single though. It would've been just a fling since Jean doesn't plan on staying at the SunnyTime Crew Show longer than he has to, but it would've been fun.

Jean isn't one to break into a closed relationship though, not unless it's a toxic one that's better off ending. He's no saint even if he does have morals. Joseph and Mary's relationship is certainly anything but toxic. The pair are just so sickeningly sweet together that he can't help but feel a little jealous of what they have. He's not ready for that sort of relationship with anyone yet, but maybe someday he'll find a guy that looks at him the way Joseph looks at Mary.

Jean doesn't quite bond with Mary the same way he does with Joseph, but he does grow fond of her as well, and a big part of it is because he and Joseph become friends. He doesn't tend to interact with the writing staff very much directly, just reading the scripts he's given and listening to the director's instructions, but with how Mary and Joseph are joined at the hip, he winds up spending more time with her by association.

Mary is almost as new to showbusiness as Joseph. In a way, she's a good match for him in how soft she is. Jean suspects their relationship is a big part of why they're both so soft, as the pair dote on and spoil each other so much. They don't talk about how they met, but they act like they've always known one another, so he suspects they're childhood sweethearts. They probably had a charmed life together, never really knowing how bad life can truly be...

Yeah, Jean doesn't really know the pair as well as he thinks he does even after spending a few years getting to know them.

Jean gets close enough to joke around with Joseph and even lightly tease Mary a bit. All it takes is a bit of innuendo about what the pair do behind closed doors to make Mary blush hard. Naturally, Jean uses their nicknames for each other as a way to tease both of them. Jean even gets close enough with Joseph for insult humor between friends, though he never gets quite that casual with Mary.

Rather than being jealous of Jack's popularity, Jean takes advantage of it to tease Joseph. "Poor bastard," he remarked sometimes whenever "Jack" would get dragged off for yet another extra photo shoot, interview, or autograph signing that he could simply waltz away from.

Jean does legitimately feel bad for Joseph being overworked, and advises the guy not to jump at their beck and call so much, but Joseph always smiles and insists that he can handle it.

Joseph is too desperate to keep his job. Jean can see that. All the advice in the world isn't going to deter Joseph from clinging to the part of Sunny Day Jack with everything he has. Poor guy is just going to have to learn the hard way just how harsh the entertainment industry is.

Jean just hopes that there'll be something left of the good guy he's grown to care for by the time showbusiness has had its way with "James."

Jean never saw the incident of '84 coming, not in a million years.

In the aftermath, Jean moved on to another role, as he always intended to do, but it was tainted by the incident. He did visit Mary in the hospital once, but it felt more like he was coming to her wake than encouraging her to get better. She didn't even seem to know anyone was even there anymore.

Jean didn't visit a second time. He didn't want to think about the incident or what happened to either of the pair. He distanced himself from all the people who worked on the show.

With how hard the studio came down with the NDA, Jean knew better. He tried to forget he ever knew any of them at all. It was better to cut all those relationships off.

He never should've gotten close in the first place.

The show never happened. Jean was never a clown. There's a gap in his resume filled with hush money. Being paid for his silence helped ease his nerves a bit. This was just a part of the business, he told himself. He saw so much shit over the years... this was just more of the same.

That's why even in the present day, Jean is still acting. From child star to silver fox, he's a well known actor with a wide range of roles. He has connections in various places in the industry, even with the modern day LambsWork Productions.

Most days, Jean forgets all about the SunnyTime Crew Show and all the people he got to know there. He forgets the faces, names, and funny stories. He forgets everything.

But sometimes... he remembers the incident in spite of himself. He remembers the children screaming and the smell of gunpowder.

Sometimes Jean feels guilty for burying the memory of his friend James... but he knows better. He always knew better than every one of them.

On that note, let's switch over to another one of the costars of the fateful SunnyTime Crew Show.

Knackadan Drizzle

Much like Rory, Knackadan is also canonically gay. Also like Rory, I decided it would be fitting if his actor shares the same sexuality. However, while we know the actor for Rory goes by the name of Jean, we don't actually know the name of his actor yet.

Well... outside of the closed beta, at least. I'm not giving out spoilers here, so let's just stick with a fun little nickname for the purposes of this post. I'm going to go with Knacktor, a portmanteau of "Knackadan" and "actor" much in the same way Jacktor became wildly used for Joseph.

Likewise, I'm going to be calling Cloudy-Belle Sue's actor Suetor. I know Cloudytor and Belltor could work too, but I like the potential pun possibilities with Suetor. I just need to figure out a good joke involving her and a suitor...

Anyway, Knacktor, being the oldest member of the main cast and more mature than the rest of the crew has a more fatherly air to him. He's friendly and fairly outspoken. He's had many years under his belt as a model and taking in acting roles. He hasn't landed a starring role before, but he's got a good resume and a decent amount of experience.

Knacktor is the first person to befriend Joseph, warming up to him right away. He often times goes out of his way to help the poor guy out, as "James" is always in way over his head. He's the first to offer tips and give the new star a heads up when trouble is brewing. He's more than happy to suggest catching a drink together after work, maybe even a double date with his boyfriend.

Although I don't have the character fully fleshed out in my head yet, I like to imagine Knacktor as having a long-term boyfriend during this era. He might have to keep it on the down low, especially since not everyone is going to be nice about his sexuality during this time period, but with those he can trust he's more than happy to show off his lovely partner.

In a way, Knacktor envies his costars in the romance department. Suetor is engaged and even invited him and his partner to her wedding. Knacktor can see Joseph and Mary are no doubt headed for marriage as well. It's something he and his partner can't do legally... at least not for a few more decades.

Until then, matching tattoos with hidden meanings would have to take the place of wedding rings.

In a lot of ways, Knacktor is the "uncle" or "big brother" of the group, watching out for his fellow costars as well as other friends he made while at the studio. Unlike Jean, he was more than willing to make friends and get along with everyone he could.

Knacktor's opinion on Joseph and Mary was that they were "good kids," and he liked to use the fact that he was older than them as a reason to playfully tease his younger coworkers. They were friends, and he got to know them pretty well.

The relationship Knacktor and Suetor have is more of a sibling bond type vibe. They have a history and are fond of teasing one another. They knew each other from a previous show they had parts in, which were also aimed at young children. It was more of a local show, but it gave them a good sense of how these things go.

Knacktor was in it for the long haul. Despite the flaws at the studio, he saw the potential in the SunnyTime Crew Show because there were so many people working there who were passionate about it. Joseph especially fueled this energy and encouraged others, which he was more than happy to help along.

What happened during the incident and the "facts" that came to light were something Knacktor never would've expected. Even today, he still doesn't know the truth about "James" or Joseph or whoever... Everything was buried... along with his unlucky costar.

Nothing was the same after the incident. Knacktor was there when it happened. He was standing right beside Joseph when the bullet blew the man's brains out.

He still has nightmares about what he saw that day... and sometimes... he has nightmares that Joseph is still dying, still trapped somewhere...

Knacktor tries to forget, if only for his own sanity... but guilt makes that impossible. He and Joseph were close. They had been good friends. Joseph opened up to him at times, and he did the same. He caught glimpses of the man behind that smiling mask, but never enough to see someone who could drive a person to murder.

Knacktor knows he'll never know the truth. He can't dig into it. He can't afford to, not when the studio threatened legal action against those who wanted answers, who wanted to talk about it.

He can never be really sure if he ever really knew "James" at all.

Trauma and guilt born from loyalty to a friend was made it impossible for Knacktor to forget. He visited Mary after the incident. She was a sweet woman. It was awful to see the way Joseph's death destroyed her. It pained him when he heard of her passing not long after.

At the same time, it was almost a mercy. Mary no longer had to live with the nightmares like Knacktor and the others did...

Knacktor couldn't keep acting after that. He refused to work with LambsWork Productions again or even return to the old studio... but it wasn't enough. Going into any studio caused him to suffer from panic attacks, even if it wasn't the one where the incident took place. All it took was some lights and a camera and he was reliving it again, watching a friend fall... his blood and viscera spraying all over him...

He could never forget that feeling no matter how many times he scrubbed at his skin.

It was impossible for Knacktor to continue his acting career. He retired quietly. The hush money from the studio allowed him some breathing room while he changed jobs. He couldn't work with children, not after that. He couldn't work anything that reminded him of the SunnyTime Crew Show. He got a nice, quiet desk job where he still works to this day, readying for his retirement.

While Knacktor doesn't hide that he was an actor in the past, he never breathed a word about why he quit. He'll change the topic or simply say he got tired of it, hiding his trauma behind a smile.

Some things are best left buried in the past, no matter how much the guilt haunts him.

Cloudy-Belle Sue

Of all the cast members, Suetor had the most experience working in young children's programming. She bounced around from local show to local show until landing on the SunnyTime Crew Show. It was the first time she was on a show broadcast nationwide. It was an incredible experience, one that she still treasures despite how it ended.

Suetor befriended Joseph easily, along with Mary. The two were just so sweet, and she was really rooting for them to make it. It broke her heart with the way their love story ended. They were invited to her wedding, which was set to take place only a month or so later...

Only a few of her coworkers came to Suetor's wedding, one of them Knackator. Jean rescinded his RSVP after the incident and ghosted all of them.

The empty chairs at the reception were painful for her to look at.

Despite the incident, Suetor continued to work in children's entertainment. Because she had been getting in makeup at the time, she didn't get a front row seat like Knacktor had. She didn't suffer the same level of trauma. The screaming of the children reached her dressing room, but it sounded odd to her at the time. She was distant enough not to notice the panic and fear in their voices until she heard the sound of gunshots.

Suetor left her dressing room only after it was deemed safe enough to do so after the police arrived. She didn't see any bodies, just the blood stains on the floor. Knacktor was off getting cleaned up. She took it upon herself to try and help calm the crying children who had been traumatized by the incident.

Of the three costars, Suetor was spared the worst of the incident. Knacktor was right next to Joseph when it happened. Rory had been backstage, but still had a clear view of Joseph's murder and the way Mary ran to the body, screaming...

Suetor did visit Mary in the hospital more than once. She tried to support Mary, but her words could never reach. They had become friends even before Joseph came back into Mary's life. She had hoped she could do something for her grieving friend... but she didn't know what she could offer.

There was nothing she could do for Mary, just like nothing she could do for Joseph. The studio wouldn't allow them to pay for a funeral for either of them. The cast couldn't even have a memorial. They were all scattered to the winds, left adrift and threatened into silence.

Suetor still has the vase Mary gave her for her birthday. Sometimes, she puts flowers in it that she thinks Mary or Joseph would have liked.

What happened to those two was a tragedy, one that should never have happened.

Suetor never got a clear picture about what happened during the incident. Jean refused to say anything and Knacktor was too traumatized to talk about it. Anyone else was too scared of legal threats to tell her the whole story.

All Suetor could do was move on. She continued to work in children's entertainment, sometimes in front of the camera, sometimes behind it. She tried to do right for the children, both in honor of her lost friends and so that no other child would have to suffer such a traumatic scene again.

Suetor had children of her own. They're all grown up and moved out of the house by the present day. By all respects she's had a nice life. The incident of '84 at times feels more like a nightmare than anything else, but she can keep it out of her mind for the most part. She is able to remember "James" and Mary fondly as she knew them and not so much for how they died.

Of everyone, Suetor suffered the least from the incident, but it still haunts her.

Everyone who worked on the SunnyTime Crew Show are haunted by the ghost of the incident of '84, even if they're not free to talk about it publicly.

Joseph tried so hard to do right by the children. Suetor saw that every day with how gentle he was with them, how wholeheartedly he embraced the role of Sunny Day Jack. She might have been the more experienced one of the two in this regard, but he had this natural charm with children. He was the most beloved cast member not by luck, but because he shone more brightly than any of them.

What happened to him wasn't right. Suetor heard only a few solid details, something about a lunatic with a grudge... but why would anyone hate such a sweet, sincere guy like James to the point of murder? It never made sense to her. A part of her was never satisfied never getting answers, but she had to accept it... if only because digging put her and everything she cared for at risk.

Sometimes over the years Suetor couldn't help digging, just a little. Not enough to risk NDAs. Not enough to risk her family. Sometimes she runs into people who were there, who knew Joseph, who were in the audience... sometimes they say things.

The children especially had a lot to say even years later... but children can be the most unreliable of narrators, and accounts can differ wildly, especially as the years distort the truth.

A bad person said Sunny Day Jack was actually a bad man. Then that bad person killed him. The things the bad person said to Joseph... Suetor could never be sure what exactly they were. Time also has a way of blurring the truth until things start sounding more like an urban legend.

It's an unsolved mystery, one Suetor can only accept will never be solved... at least not until a young woman who reminds her of the friend she made 40 years ago comes to her door to ask questions about a show that was lost...

I think I'll leave things on that note. As you might tell, the cast of the SunnyTime Crew Show is still very much a work in progress. Although they're not fully fleshed out yet, talking about them like this helps me develop them more. I think I've got a better idea of who I want them to be in Sunshine in Hell thanks to this post. I have a feeling I'll ramble on about them more again in the future to develop them further. I hope you enjoyed this exercise in character building!