#specially knowing season 2 might as well be a different show

[xx-psych0-rabbit-xx]

episode 1 n 2 suck, theyre just generally super boring n stolas is one of the most unlikable characters ive ever seen? i would not mind if the show wasnt so insistent hes suddenly a cool guy, literally hed work perfectly if it wasnt constantly trying to convince you "we actually decided hes not bad anymore so feel bad for him" n his relationship w his daughter is also just.so bad.they want it to be "your dad fucks up sometimes" but literally weve had two episodes where shes in it at all n in both of them he fucks up so bad she runs off, it doesnt matter he was cute w her when she was a child octavias life is absolute misery bc both of her parents r insufferable get my girl OUT of there

episode 3 me n my friend watched by accident back when we were watching season 1 n its definitely miles better than the first two, ive noted this before but ignoring the super "eh" handling of SA in hazbin vivziepop is actually like.p good at depicting abuse.its uncomfortable in a "oh this is bad" way

episode 4 was.just a whole bunch of nothing.literally 20 minutes to establish nothing that cant be established in the future w a one liner.the definition of "what was any of that for".i dont even have anything to complain bc theres nothing worth the effort in it

episode 5 i will admit we skipped bc i commented i heard it was one of the most disliked ones n smth i heard abt second hand embarrassment humor in it n my friend Utterly Refused To Watch It so we just did a summary.if its actually a masterpiece of cinema im willing to take the blame for missing out for both of us

episode 6 was.actually i rly liked that one ! ignoring the insistence theres anything good between blitzo n stolas (bc yk.making a guy sleep w you so he wont lose his job n making unwanted advances for most of your screentime before the writer decided youre a good guy now is like.not an issue worth addressing if your childhood was sad n your wife hates you) it was just.it was nice it had heart blitzo n fizzs relationship was fun to watch improve n the action scenes had rly fun choreography, frankly not only the best helluva episode so far but also still one of the best episodes from HB n hazbin combined.just.i liked it! was such a good note to end our watch on

i had seen essentially everyone say the show loses its premise between seasons n yeah no it absolutely does.this isnt a show abt "smth happens while the funny demons r trying to kill someone" anymore its an intense romantic drama between two guys who should see the psychologist n stay 50 feet away from each other at all times n bc its so insistent that nooo its totally romantic !!! you dont even get like.some toxic yaoi tragedy stuff its just bad to watch

*lights up a cigarette* helluva season 2 is.i feel like im watching the rock bottom of the basement of the quality scale.

[lukolathoughts]

Dearest Gentle readers,

I have been a member of Tumblr for a while without posting a blog entry. I suppose I have been getting the lay of the land and trying to formulate my thoughts. As most of you know, I am a tarot reader on YouTube and I also share my thoughts on X. I am a Lukola through and through and no amount of bullying, intimidation, nasty comments etc. will deter me from my mission. The last few weeks my trolling comments have increased exponentially from what I can only assume are desperate Jakehole's, (apparently I am credited for making the term 'Jakehole' up, I actually have no idea if it was me or not, but I like it) trying to convince me that Nicola is with Jake and Luke is with Antonia. I will come to my thoughts on this in a moment.

I do realise that a public tarot reader, I put myself at risk to exposure and criticism from these types of people. I am fully aware of that. What I underestimate sometimes is the sheer vitriol they come with. I am an empath also and I absorb a lot of a energy, not just from the fandom, Luke and Nic and adjacents, but from my own life as well. I am a teacher and I am surrounded by a lot of people daily. I have always used my television shows as a coping mechanism to detach from reality and 'switch off'. I never thought this time last year I'd be sharing tarot readings on YouTube about a real life celebrity couple that I was barely aware of in January 2024. But here we are. Bridgerton season 3 took hold of my brain and injected some sort of magic crack into it and I haven't been the same since. Don't get me started on the press tour. I've never seen anything like it and it was honestly like a spiritual awakening.

But I digress, I have been reading for a few years and learning the tarot cards and their meanings. I have watched countless YT videos by other readers and I came into this fandom watching the OG tarot readers of the fandom. I do not see myself as any different or special, I just read the cards as they come out. I also repeatedly say 'this is for fun and entertainment purposes only, I do not personally know Luke and Nicola'. And the fact of the matter is I don't know them, none of us do. I do not follow them around all day like some weird little psychic Martha from Baby Reindeer. I merely read the energy of the cards and I observe.

Why I love teaching English so much for me, is there is never a right or wrong answer in English Literature. It is up to your interpretation and all about reading the subtext of what is really going on. Now you might call me delusional, but I have always had an uncanny knack for predicting who the murderer in a story is before the end of a novel. It's called critical thinking. This drives my husband mad because he is very black and white and for him 2+2 = 4. Simple as. For me, I'm like wait a minute, what if... My brain is like a whimsical, magical unicorn sometimes, but I always go with my gut and my intuition. I will NOT waver on my intuition because I believe it is stronger than my rational mind.

Ok, so here we go. In my opinion haters!! Nicola is not now or ever has been with Jake Dunn romantically. My readings tell me he sees her as mother figure and mentor. Jake is clearly gay and most likely in some sort of relationship with Dylan. I think the Jakehole ship is a dead, rotting corpse. Nicola and Jake have reached the end of their agreement where she provides him with networking opportunities in exchange for some possible PR diversion to take the heat off Nicola's real relationship. William Tell is out. Luke is home from Rome, there is no need for Jake anymore. I also get the feeling from my readings that Jake is tired. Nicola is tired and Dylan is doing his best to set the narrative straight. I do not need tarot cards for this, it's blindingly obvious. As far as I know, Jake has no straight male friends. It is extremely rare in UK culture for straight men to hang out with all gay men and feel secure about that. It's just the way things are. I am not saying Jake and Nic are not friends, of course they are and I won't begrudge them that. I think he has a lot of genuine affection for her, but he also sees her as someone who can get him places and opportunities which we have seen time and time again.

And now we come to Antonia. I know she is only 23/4 and young and whatever. I have taught students older than her. But I will be truthful and say I don't like her energy. I don't like reading on her. I don't trust her little dancing self. I did have some sympathy for her in October as I had big crushes on boys when I was young, I get it. Luke is hot. But that pasta video she shared in Rome (a video she could have got from anywhere and shared an hour after she had seen Luke had been there) by her was mean, malicious and intentional to hurt the fandom. Her flouncing around with a shitty red bag always implying she's in Luke's vicinity is also callous and calculating and she's shared so much pasta stories now, it almost puts me off eating it. Almost, I love pasta. The biggest takeaway for me is she was not with Luke this Christmas and NYE. It is well documented where she was. We do not not know where Luke was, but we do know Nic was spotted with a lovely tan at the WT premiere. Could Antonia be PR? I sigh, because I think it's more complicated than that. In my readings, I do pick up a delusional obsession from her in regards to Luke. But she is convenient to bring up when they need her. I know the haters will call me delusional for thinking this and as my husband would say if 2 + 2 = 4 then it's 4.

But is it 4? Is it so straightforward as that? My intuition is telling me no, it's not. We have had no sign of Luke being anywhere near Antonia since July in Sorrento when he jumped on a plane and left two days early alone. All Antonia has are literally pasta videos and photos, that I am convinced, enraged Luke. She is giving me serious Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction vibes.

Let's address the elephant in the room. The comment by 'Luke's mum' on her private FB account to a relative. I think it's bullshit. I have three boys and I'm telling you now I would walk through fire if anyone touched a hair on their heads. I will go to prison for my kids. If I was Luke's mum and some 23 year old dancer had systematically tried to ruin my son's career, and she did folks, I would not be writing on a public page outing her as my son's girlfriend. It is all too suspicious and convenient. I could speculate for hours on what has happened, but you guys have group chats and your own brains for that. As one ship falls, another one rises in an unexplained manner.

In conclusion, yes I do believe Nic and Luke are together and this is a very important time for them right now. The silence is LOUD for me. I keep getting the four of swords for Nic. She is resting and taking care of herself in the way that she should. Luke is in a besotted Emperor mode. All is good. Until Nic and Luke specify otherwise, that is what I am sticking with.

[shamixlour]

The Bear - 3x03

The way he looks at Syd here. I found it extremely interesting and back then I understood it a certain way but now that I have the whole context, meaning I have finished watching season 3...well I see it in a totally different light. Okay this might be a bit long one but here me out. 

At first, I thought Carmy was mad. They were in the rush of service and some plates took longer than necessary to be ready and so he was in his full-asshole Chef mode, running expo in a way that was cold and stressing. I thought he was simply angry because Sydney went to help Tina with the pasta cooking/plating. 

I still think he is mad but with the events in the following episodes, I believe it is way more than that, I think it is much deeper than I expected it to be and I might be reading into this too much but I made another meta and I feel like I cannot speak about this scene without bringing the Carmy scene at Ever in 3x10. 

Now, I think Carmy is jealous. I believe he is impressed. He is mad. He is so fucking envious. He is scared, petrified even. Carmy is in awe and quite astonished. 

That is how I see it now.

The thing is Sydney is portrayed as being impatient, and sure she might have shown some signs of being so regarding certain aspects but when it comes to cooking, when it comes to leading a team, when it comes to being the Chef of cuisine, when it is about running her kitchen, her cooks, she is patient. 

Sydney is patient and calm and pedagogue. She is willing to repeat, to assist and to help. She does not shout, she does not squeeze you even more into the panic of the kitchen even if the situation pleads her to do so. Sydney is loving, caring and fulfilling. She brings back your confidence up, she highlights your strengths, she shows that she trusts you. Sydney is willing to wait, repeat and assist you without doing it all for you even under the humongous pressure of time and peak service. She provides the tools, shows you how to use them in the most efficient way and lets you do it, her hand ready to chime in if needed, if you ask for it. Essentialy, she's a humonguous talented force that whispers you that you can do it. You can do it, Tina. You can do it, Marcus. You can do it.

We saw that during season 1. We saw that again during season 2. She is special, she is something. We saw that once more during season 3, more precisely with Tina, taking the seconds necessary to show her multiple times how to properly cook the pasta and plate it correctly even under the pressure of service. She sets aside her work and helps, guiding Tina with utmost care. She was annoyed too. She was stressed. It was in the middle of service, it delayed everything but Sydney still helped. 

And what did Carmy do in those specific instances? 

He shouted. He was cold, destroying Tina’s confidence, spitting deprecating comments. He did not help. He did not love. He did not care. Sure, he’s under pressure but Sydney is too and yet Sydney stopped and went to Tina, she understood her distress, she felt her silent cry of help and crossed the kitchen to her, steadying Tina again, calmly, without harsh words, without being a total prick even if the situation was nerve-wracking. 

Carmy saw that. He looked at that interaction, watched Sydney be a teacher, a pedagogue, he saw Sydney be the Chef he is not. The Chef he probably never will be. He gazed at something that he does not know how to do, at something he did not even think possible in a kitchen. 

He looked at it and was mad, impressed, envious and solemn. He looked at Sydney as if she is special, as if this is special and something. Something that was worth taking a few seconds to stop, to see and take in. The few seconds he pointedly declared they did not have to Tina.

That is something.

[transformer-analysis]

Transformer Prime Theory: The Optics

It’s interesting how, in TFP, the characters all have a variety of optics sizes and shapes, instead of everyone having plain solid colours like in G1 and most other continuities. And I personally believe there is some more biological reasons why some of these optics look the way they are (some big, some small, some solid colours and others not, and some having rings and others not).

TW: starvation mention.

THEORY #1:

The size of the optics is determined by how well fed and healthy the transformer is.

Firstly, we can see that most Transformers with big optics are Decepticons, who we always know have more Energon mines and supplies than the Autobots.

Secondly. Megatron has a big optic that take over the entire frame, and he is totally someone who would have a feast himself first before feeding his subjects. On the contrary Optimus have one of the smallest optic in the show, probably because, unlike Megatron, he would only eat himself when he knows his subjects are well fed. (Poor Optimus)

Thirdly, Breakdown and Bulkhead also have some of the biggest optics in their teams. Breakdown is one of the few in the show whose optics are complete solid colors, and, although Bulkhead’s optics are not solid colours, or completely take over the frame, they are still much bigger than most other Autobots. This is probably because they are both the muscles of the team so they must have been fed more so that they can be stronger and fight better. (Cliffjumper might have been one, too, because he also got a huge optic, but we never hang around him enough to know for sure)

Fourthly: Bumblebee also got big optics, probably because he is the youngest Autobot, and is probably still growing in a way, so everyone would want to make sure he got enough nutrients to grow up big and healthy.

Fifthly: I think this is the best proof of all. So throughout the show Starscream’s optics are always quite big and round (though it is not always obvious in bright lightings).

(“Partner”, Season 1 Episode 20)

However, in the Orion Episode, while Starscream was sneaking into the Nemisis to steal energons, his optics suddenly fill the whole frame

(“Orion Pax Part One”, Season 2, Episode 2)

This is likely because, since Starscream had gone rogue at this point, and we know that in “Rock Bottom” (Season One Episode 19) Starscream has been hiding energons for himself, perhaps Starscream hasn’t yet learned how to manage supplies sustainably on his own, and quickly drained his resources that he’s hide for himself before. Thus, more energons in the eyes. That’s probably also why he has taken the risk to go back to the Nemisis to steal Energon cause he was out of it already. He was living feast or famine at this point.

Now, there are some bugs in this theory, such as why Knockout have such a small pupil despite not having any reasons to starve. However, knowing Knockout and his obsession with his appearance, I believe he would totally put himself on a diet to look even more fabulous. I don’t think Transformers can really gain weight from Energons, though, at least not in the way we think, but Knockout could also just love the look of a small optic and think it fits his beauty, so he starved himself to achieve that.

One question you might have for the theory, “But it has been going around that Ratchet starve himself to save the supplies for the others, but his optics are big?” Now. Ratchet, I believe, is a different situation, which leaves us to theory #2.

THEORY #2:

The ring around the optic signify how intensely the optic was used.

Firstly, like mentioned above, Ratchet have a special optic: his centeral pupil itself is pretty small, similiar size with Optimus’s, but it got a big ring around it, making it look big. Now I think the ring have nothing to do with how well fed the Transformer is, like the theory above, it is there to supply more Energon to the function of the optic, and making it sharper basically. Knockout also have one, probably for the same reason as Ratchet.

Secondly: Bumblebee also have one. Understandable. He is the scout, he need to look afar a lot.

Thirdly: if you look closely you can see that Optimus got these colorless, metal ring around his optic, too, which no one else have, but it doesn’t have Energon in them. This is probably because he probably used to have them, as Orion Pax, who was an archives working in front of computers all the time. But over the years of not using it in the same way as much as the Prime, Energons left the ring and left the area, leaving the empty ring behind.

Now, there goes my theories and how I think the optics works, kind of. There is still a lot that I am still working on and might make another post off in the future, such as why some of them had a white ring/circle in their optics (I don’t think white rings work the same as blue rings, cause Bulkhead have a white ring but he doesn’t have any reasons to need good vision more than others.) and why their optics are different colors.

I hoped you enjoy this

[voxslays]

“Howdy, Striker!”

Featuring >>> Striker x Reader; In which, Reader catches Striker in the middle of a murder, and things escalate from there.

Warnings; Smut, Possibly Dub-Con, Striker is Striker.

A/N: Sorry for posting my latest part of Haztober so late, here is a special little gift for being so patient with me. I just watched episodes 3-7 of season 2…but 4 and 6…STRIKER!

It was a fine fall day out in the wrath ring. Still very hot, but starting to cool down as it got later into October. You were visiting for the Harvest Moon Festival, hoping to see one of your close friends compete. You were taking a shortcut by walking down an alleyway when suddenly you saw two imps fighting. As you got closer you realized who one of them was—Striker—A famous assassin and cowboy among wrath. “Give up vermin.” He growled at the other demon as he dealt one last blow to the head with his angelic knife. He watched as the imp bled, then turned towards you. “Hello there little one..” Striker grinned, showing his gold tooth. You quickly backed up. “Woah, Woah, Woah there cowboy…I was just leaving-!” You say, clearly panicking. Striker's grin widens, a dark amusement playing in his eyes. He takes a step closer, his heavy boots thudding against the ground. "Going so soon? You just got here. Besides, I haven't even had a chance to,” He pauses as he looks you up and down. He reaches out, his large, calloused hand wrapping around your wrist. His grip is firm, unyielding. He pulls you closer, his breath hot against your face. "…Ask you your name." He purrs, his voice low and menacing.

Your breathing grows heavier. ​​"Now, now, why are you breathing like that? Am I that intimidating, hmm?" He chuckles, his gold tooth glinting in the dim light. "Relax, I don't bite...Hard." He grins, his eyes glinting with a wicked amusement. He leans in closer, his nose brushing against your neck. He inhales deeply, his voice rumbling against your skin. "You smell... different.” He says, his southern accent ringing through the air. “Like flowers, not like the usual stench of this place. Intriguing..." He pulls back, his gaze meeting yours.

“I'm not from here.” You say as your breath hitches. "Clearly." He smirks, his thumb tracing circles on your wrist. "And what brings a sweet little thing like you to this godforsaken place, hmm?"  His eyes narrow slightly, suspicion flickering in them. “I’m just here to watch one of my friends compete in the festival.” Striker laughs. "The Harvest Moon Festival, eh?" He releases your wrist, taking a step back. "Well, ain't that just precious. Coming all this way to watch your little friend play pretend." He shakes his head, another harsh laugh escaping his lips. "You know, I was invited too. But me? In a festival? Might as well invite a wolf to a lamb convention." He chuckles darkly, his gaze returning to you. "But now that you're here, maybe my time won't be entirely wasted." He says, his voice filled with lust. 

You suddenly feel a deep blush coat your already rosy red cheeks. "Mmm, you're blushing. Cute." He grins, taking a step closer. His hand reaches up, his calloused fingers gently caressing your cheek. "Look at me like that again and I might just take you right here." Your blush deepens. His eyes darken with desire as he notices your even redder cheeks and quickened breath. In one swift motion, he pushes you against the nearest wall, his muscular body pinning you in place. His other hand grips your hip possessively.

You gasp in surprise, feeling an army of butterflies in your stomach. *His face hovers inches from yours, his hot breath mingling with yours. "Shh, just breathe," he whispers, his voice laced with dominant undertones. "I promise, I won't bite...yet." His hands begin to explore your body, slowly, tauntingly. His touch is firm, yet gentle, contradictions that send shivers down your spine. His voice drops to a low purr. "You're so responsive... It's intoxicating..." His southern drawl becoming more evident. His hands slip under your shirt, his calloused palms brushing against your bare skin. You can feel his erection pressing against you, a testament to his arousal. "See what you do to me?" he growls, nuzzling your neck.

His kisses become more urgent as you let out a few gasps and moans, his hands tightening on your hips. He grinds against you, a low growl rumbling in his throat. "You taste like honey," he murmurs, his voice hoarse with desire. "I bet you'd taste even sweeter elsewhere." His strong hands hoist you up, carrying you over to a nearby abandoned shack. He kicks the door open, carrying you inside. He lays you down on a pile of hay in the corner.  His eyes glint wickedly as he looks down at you.  "Now, where was I?"

He crawls over you, his hands pushing your skirt up. His fingers brush against your thighs, slowly parting them. "So innocent..." He kneels down between your parted thighs, his broad shoulders pushing them further apart. He flashes you a roguish grin before lowering his head, his warm breath tickling your core. "I think I'll start here." 

His tongue flicks out, tasting you. He growls in approval, his hands gripping your thighs to keep them open. He buries his face between your thighs, feasting on you like a man starved. His touch is rough, intense, mirroring his personality. "So good..." You cry out in pleasure. He doubles his efforts at your cry, his tongue delving deeper, lapping at your essence. His fingers dig into your soft flesh as he holds you in place, not letting you escape his relentless assault on your senses. He suckles your sensitive bud, sending jolts of pleasure through your body. 

He laps at you more insistently, drinking in your essence. His tongue delves deep inside, stroking your walls. He sucks hard on your clit, determined to make you fall apart. "That's it, scream for me," he growls against your sensitive flesh. He continues his onslaught, drawing out your release. As you come down from your high, he straightens up. His face is glistening with your juices, his eyes wild. He quickly begins to unbuckle his belt, his eyes never leaving yours. The leather hisses as it's pulled through the loops of his pants. He doubles it over, the ends dangling ominously. "You've been a good girl so far... But maybe it's time for a little..."

He leans down, his hands gripping your wrists and pinning them above your head. He wraps the belt around your wrists, securing you to the wooden beam above. He smirks at you, his face a mask of dark intent. "Now, where were we?" He drops to his knees, burying his face once more between your thighs. He ravishes you with his mouth, his tongue plunging deep inside. But this time, he brings his hand into play, his fingers joining his tongue. He pumps them in and out, scissoring them to stretch you. ​​He continues his relentless assault on your most intimate area. His fingers curl inside you, stroking your G-spot as his tongue lashes your clit. He can feel you tightening around him. Knowing you're close, he doubles his efforts, determined to push you over the edge into ecstasy. 

He feels your walls clenching around his fingers, your body trembling on the edge. He doubles his efforts, sucking your clit hard as he curls his fingers to stroke that special spot inside. He wants to feel you come undone, to hear you scream his name as pleasure overtakes you. He feels your body convulse, your inner walls gripping his fingers like a vice as you come undone. He doesn't let up, continuing his relentless assault until he's wrung every last drop of pleasure from you. Only then does he slowly withdraw, licking his lips with a satisfied grin. “Stiker!” You scream out. 

He stands up, his eyes burning with a dark hunger. He reaches for the belt still binding your wrists, undoing it and tossing it aside. He lifts you up, his strong arms supporting your weight. He carries you over to the table, setting you down on the surface with a thud. He steps between your legs, forcing them apart. His hands grip your backside, lifting you up and pulling you forward. He grinds against you, his hardness rubbing against your slick folds. "Look at me," he demands, his voice gruff with desire. You immediately look into his golden eyes. 

His eyes bore into yours, his gaze intense and possessive. He reaches down and spreads your lips open, revealing your dripping wet pussy to his hungry gaze. "So fuckin’ pretty," He growls, his voice now filled with lust and his classic southern accent. He lines himself up, the head of his dick pressing against your entrance. He slowly pushes inside, his eyes never leaving yours. He wants you to see who's taking you, possessing you completely. He grips your hips tightly, his fingers digging into your flesh as he starts to move. He pulls out slowly, only to thrust back in harder, setting a steady, powerful rhythm.

His thrusts become more forceful, almost violent in their intensity. The table creaks beneath you as he pounds into you. "Take it," He snarls, his voice strained with pleasure. "Take every fuckin’ inch of my cock." He leans down, his chest pressing against yours as he continues to pound into you. He captures your lips in a rough, dominating kiss. His tongue forces its way into your mouth, claiming you utterly. He swallows your moans and cries, drinking in your pleasure like a true cowboy. He breaks the kiss, panting harshly. His hips never stop moving, driving into you with increasing force and speed. The room fills with the obscene sounds of flesh slapping against flesh and your moans. "Take it," He snarls greedily. 

He lifts you up, holding you aloft as he drives into you from below. He grins wickedly as he watches his length disappear inside you, over and over. He leans back slightly, changing the angle and making you gasp. "Oh, you like that? Good." He slams into you, finding that spot inside that makes your vision whiten. He sets a brutal pace, driving into you deep and hard. He watches where he's joined to you, his eyes glued to the point where he disappears into your heat. "You feel so good~” His face contorts with pleasure and concentration as he chases his release. His arms tighten around you, his hands clutching your bottom possessively. His breathing grows heavier, his movements more erratic. He's close. He leans forward, pressing his face into the crook of your neck. He bites down, the sharp pain pushing you both over the edge. He roars his release, burying his face against your neck as he spurts into you with one final thrust. 

He collapses forward, pinning you beneath his heavy, sweat-slicked body. He pants against your neck, his hips still twitching slightly with the aftershocks. After a long moment, he lifts his head to look at you, his eyes dark and sated. "Mmm..." Striker groans. He slowly pulls out of you, his softening length slipping free with a wet sound. He rolls to the side, pulling you with him so you end up draped across his broad chest. His large hand finds your back, stroking up and down possessively. "You did well.” He smirks cockily. He presses a gentle kiss to your forehead, an unusual sign of tenderness from him. He wraps both arms around you, his hold tightening protectively. "Rest now," Striker murmurs, his voice low and soothing.

[theconstantsidekick]

Lit Cigarettes (Part 1)

Pairings: Dean Winchester x Reader, Sam Winchester x BestFriend!Reader, Damon Salvatore x Stefan Salvatore x Sister!Reader (mentioned) Genre: Angsty Fluff

Summary: Y/n decides that Dean Winchester really needs to know how she feels about him.

(Set after the events of Supernatural season 4 and yes, Y/n is technically a Salvatore. I love the adopted sibling trope, can you tell?)

a/n: I have another part in mind if this does well.

Warnings: Smoking, mentions of smoking, romanticisation of smoking, a lot of that yes, sorry. Don't smoke kids.

Part 2 is here

He used to light her cigarettes when she was too busy talking. That’s what love is. According to her, that is the truest, most genuine form of love. The idea might sound quite contradictory, somehow. But it would make sense to smokers all around the world. 

The thought that somebody would just pluck the cigarette out of your hand, light it, take a little puff to keep the light aflame and just place it back between your index and middle finger. That’s somehow so painfully selfless that it can’t be classified as anything other than the most romantic act known to mankind. 

Now, the tragedy of it all was that that was the only showing of love she ever got from him. All she ever got was a lit cigarette handed off to her while she was too invested in spewing absolutely random bullshit about the sensors on automatic doors at some blackwater motel in an unnamed town. He’d do it quietly. He wasn’t quiet but there was always a quietness about him. Not quiet in the truest definition of the word. He was quiet in a different way, he talked. He was always charming, never not charming. He smiled and charmed everyone further still, but it felt like a very well rehearsed performance. His words, his charm, his smile seemed rehearsed, practiced relentlessly. A stark contrast to how they talked, when he talked to her and just her. Or well, so she thought until she found out that he could talk with a genuine smile to just about anyone unless there was a room full of people. Until the day she found that out, she felt quite special about it.

She felt important to him, enough for him to talk around her more, smoke around her more and light her cigarettes when she was too busy talking.

He never smoked around anyone else, hid the bad habit from his brother, but never her. It made her feel like there was a precarious unspoken bond between the two of them that could break at the mere mention of it. Could it?

She’s going to find out.

“Dean,” she calls out in no urgency, with a quiet calm. They are packing up their things, leaving the small motel room behind for another one in another town. Sam’s out at the reception, settling the bill. He’ll be back soon, she needs to wrap this up before he comes back. 

“Yeah?” Dean answers, never looking up from the duffle bag he’s aggressively shoving his clothes into.

“I love you.”

Dean’s motion halted at once. He doesn’t move, she thinks maybe he can’t move.

“Dean?”

The man in front of her gulps, audibly. “Yeah?”

“I love you.” It feels important to reiterate in this case. 

“I—” Words seem to be straining him. “I heard you the first time.”

“Good,” she tells him and then resumes packing her shit. But there’s a few more things to add, “I know we don’t talk about it, I know we aren’t supposed to. I know you’ve always known that I loved you and we still never talk about it, which means you don’t feel the same way, which again, I know. I am not trying to change your mind, I’m not trying to get into your pants. I’m certainly not asking you to love me back. I am not asking for anything actually, so you can quit looking so fucking terrified. I just needed to tell you because you up and died and it felt like my life stopped, like I couldn’t fucking breathe anymore. I felt hollow and broken and it felt wrong to be alive…” He looks at her then. Her voice is so thick with emotions, even though she is trying to keep them at bay, he must have felt compelled to look at her, she muses.

Shaking her head, she exhales audibly. “But you’re back now and I just needed to say it. I’ve loved you since I first saw you when I was 13. I don’t know how to not be in love with you, trust me, I’ve tried. So, I've learnt to make peace with it. I definitely don’t need you to say something, I just needed you to know that I love you, always have, most probably I always will. I need you to know that you are loved.”

There is silence then, no words, just the sound of her footsteps as she goes around the room picking up things she wants to shove into her bag.

“I…” Dean tries. But the words fade away just as quickly as the thoughts strike him. She looks at him for a second but the silence that proceeded makes her look away. She has just dropped a huge bomb, not that it was some revelatory information but it was something they had avoided talking about for literally ever, so it was fair that he needed some time to come up with a response. She is more than happy to give it to him.

But then Sam walks back into the room. “I’m pretty sure the dude at the reception thinks we’re a freaking thruple.” He walks to the washroom to collect his toiletry pouch and begins packing as well. “I mean, I’m not sure I can blame him? But I want to?” He shrugs. “Dean and I really don’t look all that alike, maybe that’s it? But this is like, the seventh motel in a row that’s given me really weird looks, you know? I don’t know whether to be flattered or plain disgusted—” His words drop off, as he finally notices the atmosphere in the room.

“Am I interrupting something?” He asks looking from his brother to his best friend.

“Yes,” Dean replies at the same time as she says, “No.”

“NO?!” Dean balks at her.

“Can you guys drop me off at the bus stop? I gotta head to Mystic Falls,” she says, zipping up her bag and exiting the room.

Dean follows her instantly. “Mystic Falls? I thought you weren’t talking to your brothers?” Running up to catch up with her, he races even further ahead to open the trunk of his car for her. 

“Yeah, but that was last week,” she tells him as if that was enough explanation. She places her bag in the trunk.

“They kicked you out!” Dean seems on edge. She can’t completely understand why. 

She looks at him. “It’s Stef’s birthday.”

“He’s had a couple hundred of those,” Dean argues.

She smiles, “I hope he has a couple hundred more, and I’ll try to attend them all.”

“Damon forgot yours!” 

She shrugs. “I’ll pretend to forget his. But this is Stefan. And besides, Caroline invited me. You want me to bail and piss her off?”

He slams the trunk shut. “Fine!” He acquiesces, albeit very aggressively. “But I’m dropping you to the Boarding House, not a fucking bus stop.”

Meanwhile, Sam comes out, carrying his own luggage as well as Dean's—who had apparently completely forgotten about it. He opens the trunk again, eyeing Dean and her very suspiciously.

She moves to open the back door of the Impala. “You’re going to Ohio, it’s like a three hour detour.”

“It’s two hours with me behind the wheel. Get in,” he commands, leaving no room for any argument. 

“I was doing that anyway,” she says almost to herself, getting in the back. 

Dean stops her. “Get in the front. Sam’ll sit in the back.”

“I will?” Sam questions, lost.

Dean doesn’t care. He just gets in the driver seat, not waiting on either of the two. A look passes between Sam and her. He raises a brow in question, she just smiles and shrugs again in response and gets in.

Later, when Sam’s already asleep in the backseat, Dean clears his throat.

“So.”

She doesn’t turn around to look at him, she isn’t sure she was supposed to, and it’s drizzling, she doesn’t want to turn away from the window, not yet. “So.”

She can feel him shift uncomfortably next to her. “You gonna say anything?” He asks.

She thinks for a second. “I don’t think I have anything left to say, really. I said everything I had to say.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?!” Dean yells out.

She has to look at him then, with ire in her eyes. “SHhhh!! He’s sleeping!” She whisper-yells at him, pointing to Sam in the back seat. 

Trying to compose himself once again, Dean whisper-yells back at her, “What do you mean you’ve said everything you had to?”

“I said it, in the motel,” She explains.

“And that was it? The end of the conversation?” Dean questions, seeming very agitated.

“I mean, yeah! What else am I supposed to do?” She throws back, his agitation is quite contagious. It always has been. 

“You really think that was a reasonable end to that conversation?!” Dean bites.

She’s getting annoyed now. “What do you want? You want me to elaborate? Write a thesis paper on it? Or—or would you like to read my diary where I scribbled ‘Y/n Winchester’ a million times? What exactly is the resolution you’re looking for here?”

“You wrote ‘Y/n Winchester’ in your diary a million times…?” He asks, almost as if he cannot comprehend the idea of it. 

From anyone else she would’ve taken that as an insult. Had it been anyone else they might have actually been making fun of her. But it’s not anyone else. It’s Dean. So she’s compelled to look at him.

“Yeah, Dean. And it was just as embarrassing then as it is right now. But I was the nerdy teenager and you were the hot jock who the cheerleaders at Mystic Falls High were dying to date.” Just the thought of those days makes her morose. “I don’t like to think about those days.”

Then there is silence again.

Until Dean clears his throat, slowly he says, “But I never drove any of them home.” And damn it all to hell, it makes her smile. And damn it all to hell, her smile apparently makes him more confident in his approach. “I didn’t wait for them outside their place, blaring AC/DC at the crack of dawn, all to get milkshakes before school… It was you. I wanted to hang out with you.”

But that’s somehow the wrong thing to say, “Never at school.”

“What?” Dean asks, thrown off.

“You didn’t talk to me at school.” Admitting it, it breaks something in her all over again. It’s like she’s in highschool again. She hates it.

“That’s not true! We had lunch together everyday!” He defends.

“Nope,” she tells him. “You had lunch with the cheer squad while I sat on the table next to you silently eating really bad beans.”

“But I was there,” He tries.

“You were,” she concedes. “You were there but you weren’t there.”

Silence falls once again.

“I don’t blame you,” she is the one that breaks it. “For high school.”

“Why not?” Dean asks, sounding genuinely more hurt at the fact that she doesn’t blame him than the fact that she accused him of ignoring her.

“It’s a weird time for everyone, and I think Mystic Falls High was the first time you got to actually enjoy it. You stayed there long enough to stop being the new kid and I think it was also the first time you felt like you fit in. I didn’t, and that was never your fault… or your problem for that matter,” she explains, fidgeting with her hands in her lap.

“That’s not fair,” Dean opposes.

“What?”

“Your problems are my problems.”

And the finality of his statement gives her a weird sort of confidence to say, “Sheesh. Wonder why I ended up falling in love with you.” 

The car skids a little.

She can’t help it, she laughs.

“YOU CAN’T JUST SAY SHIT LIKE THAT!” Dean argues.

She’s still laughing, “I’m sorry. But… Come on! It was kinda funny.” 

“I did not find that funny! Not even a little bit! What’s so funny about being—” He cuts himself off.

She laughs a little harder. “That’s what’s funny! You can’t even say it! You wanna know what’s so funny about being in love with you? I can’t stop it. It’s…” She sits up to position her back towards the window and moves herself to face Dean better. “It’s like breathing. I have tried, time and time again, to stop, and for a while I can. I can try to hold my breath when I’m being mindful of it. I can remember not to breathe when I’m focused on not breathing but the moment my brain gets engaged anywhere else, I’m screwed. The moment I look away, the moment I burn my toast, or start reading a book or watch a film, the moment I’m in a rush to meet Bonnie, the moment my mind becomes occupied with anything other than the conscious thought reminding me not to breathe—BAM! I’m falling in love with you again. It’s so fucking easy, it’s so fucking comfortable. Loving you is the my most cherished accomplishment because I’ve done it so fucking well for so freaking long.” She smiles. “I feel like I deserve a prize.”

Dean stays silent.

Her smile fades.

She shakes her head, she knew what he felt. She’s always known how he feels. A long silence shouldn’t be the thing that aches her heart. Not after having been in love with this man for this long.

“Did you—” He cuts himself short. She turns to him again, eager for him to continue. And her silent pleas are heard loudly. Continue he does, “Did you decide to tell me… about this today cause we met 15 years ago today?”

“No,” she brushes him off. “I just needed to get this off my—” Suddenly his words strike her like a thunderbolt. “What do you mean 15 years ago today?”

He shrugs, eyes on the road. “A day before Stefan’s birthday, that’s when we met for the first time.”

“You… You remember the day we met?” She asks, dumbfounded.

Dean doesn’t answer, instead the car comes to a stop. He’s pulled into the parking lot of a 7Eleven. “I’ll be right back.”

Only when she watches Dean get out of the car and walk into the store does she realise that it’s the 7Eleven in Mystic Falls. They are only a few minutes away from the Salvatore Boarding house, barely 12 minutes away from her brothers’ place. 

She can’t believe she feels this way but a part of her feels like she’s running out of time. But running out of time for what? It’s Dean! He’ll be there to pick her up two days later. He’ll be there to light her cigarettes in a crowd—and not mean absolutely anything by it—in two days time. It’s not that long. They’ve dropped her off to live with her brothers’ for weeks even. Two days is nothing. It’s barely a visit. Then why in God’s name does she feel like there’s a clock right above her head counting down. And counting down to what??

“Here you go,” Dean says, as he gets in and throws something in her lap. 

She catches out of reflex. “Cigarettes?” It’s two packs of menthols, her current favorite.

“What about ‘em? You like these right?” He pulls out of the parking lot. “You quit Marlboro Reds a month ago, and switched to these so I thought they’d be a safer bet. Was I wrong?” 

It’s natural though. The most natural thing in the world. Dean buys her cigarettes. He always buys her cigarettes.

The thing about smoking that most people don’t understand is that it opens a whole new world. It’s bad obviously and no one should do it. But when you do it, when you smoke, there are a few things, a few rules that might not mean anything to a non-smoker but mean everything to a smoker. 

Take for instance, ‘Puff-Puff-Pass’. 

For any random person, the intricacies of ‘Puff-Puff-Pass’ exists to the extent of its name. But only a smoker knows that in an intimate setting, between two friends, the rule doesn’t apply. It’s rude not to follow the rule in a social gathering amongst semi-strangers, but among the two of them, it never applied.

Similarly, buying someone cigarettes is the purest gesture of care. 

Having a pack ready for consumption whenever she came back from a visit to the Salvatore Boarding House? To her that always felt like the loudest way that Dean could tell her that he cared for her. 

And he did these things often. Even when he quit smoking, he’d light her cigarettes for her. For as long as Dean has known she smokes, she has never lit a cigarette for herself. These gestures of… call it love, call it self-destruction, they have never not been there. So him buying her cigarettes is the most natural thing in the world but it throws her off still.

“Y/n?”

“What?” She suddenly remembers there was a question there, in his words before. “Oh yeah. Menthols… I smoke menthols now, yes. Good guess.”

He noticed me change my cigarettes? She asks herself, feeling something very close to giddy. Before she has to scream at herself inside, cause Dean has always done this and it has never meant anything. It’s just his small way of adhering to his duty of care.

“Thanks,” she tells him belatedly. She doesn’t fail to notice how the words make his nose scrunch up—the way it usually does when he dislikes something.

“You said you’ve tried not loving me,” Dean states and that’s all it is—a statement, an observation.

But she feels compelled to explain herself, “It’s not easy,” she tells him. “You’re… You’re you. You’re charming and hot and…” she’s spilled most of her guts, what harm can a little bit of spilling her heart do now? “You’re beautiful. You’ve got a different girl to take home every other night. It kills me inside, I won’t lie. It’s torture seeing you laughing with someone else. It really is. But it’s not your fault. And, I know you don’t feel the same way, and for a long time I didn’t mind this one sided affair cause, it was mine, you know? This love I had for you, it was all mine. I didn’t care if you loved me back… But then you…”

“Died,” he finishes the sentence for her.

She nods lamely. “It felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest. I don’t remember what I did when you weren’t around. I don’t remember how I survived because to me breathing was being in love with you. It’ll always be that. I just knew if I ever saw you again, I needed you to know how I felt. I’d been too selfish with my love for you. I… I don’t know. It sounds stupid now. I just needed you to know and I felt like I should tell you today so I did.”

And then the car stops again. 

She looks up and she’s standing in front of the boarding house. 

Clock’s run out.

Dean tries to say something but she doesn’t know if she has the courage to hear a placated, softly-worded rejection so she just gets out of the car. 

He follows suit.

He rushes to open the trunk and pulls out her luggage.

She takes it for him, and then begins walking to the door.

“Y/n!”

It feels like a gust of wind. 

The way he calls for her feels like the gust of wind that blows right before the lighting strikes.

She turns without hesitance. 

Their eyes lock.

He’s standing next to the driver side, the door to the impala is still open. The only thing lighting his face is a street light a couple paces behind him. Bathed in yellow, he looks like a wild field of sunflowers, with his messy blond hair and painfully green eyes. He’s absolutely breathtaking.

For all her talk of her love for Dean Winchester being like breathing, in this moment, at the sight of this man looking absolutely divine, she doesn’t think she remembers how to breathe at all.

So with bated breath, she waits for him to speak.

“Y/n…” He says again, before something changes and his eyes stop shining, his posture hardens, his hand grips the Impala’s door a little harder and his face loses color. Then he says, “We’ll pick you up Tuesday.” With that he gets back in the car and drives off. 

It’s only when they’ve crossed the Mystic Falls border does the silence in the Impala break.

“You’re an idiot,” Sam tells him. 

Find Part 2 here.

[glossglamour]

Full Robert Sean Leonard 'House'-a-palooza Interview: "As we know, I’m straight, but yeah, it’s like, homina homina homina."

May 01 2006 | By Maureen Ryan

Do you watch the show much?

"I can't watch it. I mean, Hugh doesn't watch it because he's anal and … eight years old. [laughs] And by the way, I don’t buy it, I think he does watch it.

“I watched in the first year. We live in New York and [my fiancé] was in California] and she likes it because I’m on it. But then she left, she had to come back to New York, and what are you going to do? The idea of me watching myself on TV, alone in Santa Monica, was just about... just short of, like, a bottle of Maker’s Mark and a shotgun away from shooting myself. [much laughter]  So I haven’t watched it all season. But when I have watched it, I’ve been mildly confused and Hugh is appropriately grumpy."

I have this theory that a lot of my favorite shows aren’t even about what they’re supposed to be about -- they have to be set in a hospital or police station or outer space or whatever because the network can market that, but they’re secretly not even about that. Like, “House” is really about ethics and morality.

“Yeah, sure, I think that’s true.”

But you can’t pitch that show to the network. “Hey, we have this great show that examines personal morality!"

“‘It’s based on “A View from the Bridge.”’

Right! They’re really going to for that.

“Yeah. [laughs] I think it’s good, and when it’s right, when the show works, the mystery works. It has a Sherlock Holmes-ian feel to it, and you do kind of want to know what’s wrong with [the patients]. And it is interesting, the turns and twists that get you there. And there’s always a little bit of character-driven fun stuff in between, of who these people are and how they affect each other. And that’s it at its best. And I guess that could be true of any show.

“It’s tricky, you’ve got a lead character [who’s different from the TV norm] and you’ve got to be careful because those characters can be one-note. He’s the cranky guy, he’s the Australian guy, I’m the friend in one or two scenes a week. You just have to be careful, and I think we are, we have a really great team of writers. And the numbers are building, people are watching.”

So this two-parter on May 2 and 3, I think the unofficial subtitle is the “Festival of Foreman.” I guess they’re his Emmy episodes, and that’s fine. But you’re hardly in them, what’s up with that?

“Honestly, I’m okay. I don’t want an Emmy. This is what I want -- I know exactly what I want. I did play with a guy named Skip Sudduth, ‘The Iceman Cometh,’ seven years ago. I saw him five years later, and I said, ‘Geez, Skip, where have you been? I don’t see you at readings anymore.’ He said, ‘I’ve been on “Third Watch.”’ It sounded familiar but I’d never seen it. He said, ‘I’ve been doing it for five years.’ I said, ‘Holy crap!’ And he was back doing theater. That’s my dream.

“And it’s happening. I walk down the street and people say, ‘Where are you?’ and I say, ‘I’m on this show called “House.”’ My friend Lewis Black [from 'The Daily Show'] said, ‘What is it called? “Head”?’

“I’m okay. I’ve never been happier than where my career is now. And I don’t want it to change necessarily. Money’s good, and I’m glad I’m getting that, and I’m putting it away for later in life when I do more Tom Stoppard plays at Lincoln Center and make no money. But really, I’m great. I don’t mind working two days a week.

“Because those other guys, the Scooby gang, or the Mod Squad -- they are at that studio for 16 hours a day saying ‘tachycardia, lupus, blablahdeblah.’ Honestly, I’d kill myself if  had to do those scenes for that long. I’m very happy with the size of my role, I don’t want it to get any bigger. I’m happy.”

So we won’t see the very special “House” episode where Dr. Wilson almost dies?

“That might be how I get off the show.” [laughs]

Well, you could die and come back as a ghost. Then it would be the “House Whisperer.”

“Yeah [laughs]. The hair makeup people were saying one day, ‘Oh, I love those scenes with you and Hugh, there should be more of that.’ And I’m like, ‘Shhh! Don’t say that!’ I’m the luckiest man in Hollywood. I work only with Hugh, pretty much, who’s great. And I work two days a week.”

Do you fly back and forth to New York then?

"No, not really. They don’t let me because they need me around, the schedule changes so much. I’m going to try to get away with that a little more [in the upcoming season]. Now that [my fiancé] is here, I really will kill myself if I’m out there as much as I was last year, without her.”

So five days a week you’re doing what – Botox injections? Going to the mall? Watching “Maury”?

“Rob Lowe once said the secret to being an actor in L.A. is sleeping as late as you possibly can and going to be as early as possible. I remember him saying, ‘I recommend pajamas by 4:30 p.m.’”

What’s interesting about this show is that they’re taken something that could be a very formulaic procedural and quite often turn it on its head.

“I didn’t know anything about TV, I’d never done [a TV show], but I now know very well that there are procedurals and character-driven shows. ‘Law & Order’ is a procedural and ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ is a character-driven show. The test [as to which category a show is in], someone once said to me, which I thought was hysterical, is this question: Did Sam Waterston sleep with [the assistant DA] on ‘Law & Order’? If the answer is ‘I don’t give a [hoot], I want to know the next element of the case,’ then it’s a procedural.

“Our show is weirdly, and there must be precedent for this, but it’s weirdly equally both. I think it’s very much a procedural, and without that sick patient every week, we wouldn’t work. And without the character stuff it wouldn’t work. And weirdly, people do care if House sleeps with one of our characters, and also care equally what’s wrong with this person and how they’re going to solve the case.”

I guess I like the character stuff better, but you’re right, it probably wouldn’t work without the suspense of the weekly case and somebody being critically ill.

“No, I think you need that. I think the echoes of Sherlock Holmes are too strong. The original idea of the show was House and Wilson, like Holmes and Watson. But it got away from that, and his team is Watson, if you want to be technical about it.

“I’m more like … the only way I’ve found to define it, and it’s so pretentious that it makes me want to jump out a window, is like King Lear’s fool. I’m like the only one who tells him the truth. And [Wilson] has nothing to lose. I don’t work for him and he doesn’t work for me. I’m the only character who chooses to be with him as opposed to being there because of a job. And because of that I have the freedom to tell him what I think. Not that Cuddy holds back much.”

I think her role is to say, "No! Bad House!"

“Have you talked to Lisa Edelstein [who plays Cuddy]? She’s so great. This Japanese woman once said to her, ‘You on “ER”!’ And she said, ‘I have been on “ER,” but now I’m on “House.”’ And [the woman says] ‘Oh yes, “House.” You say, “No, you don’t!”’ Every time we do the table read, I burst into laughter at some point, because there is the voice of that woman in my head, ‘You say “No, you don’t!”’ That’s the entire definition of Lisa’s character. Not completely, but we laugh [about it]. We have the same dilemma. We’re on this show that we’re … kind of on. Crew members say, ‘How long have you been on the show?’ ‘Uh, since the pilot.’ They really don’t know what we’re doing there.”

So in terms of the other stuff going on in your career, that’s going well, all the theater stuff?

“I’ve achieved everything I wanted to do. When I was growing up, I wanted to be Kevin Kline, Sam Waterston. I grew up watching the Public Theater and Shakespeare in the park and Marion Seldes. I mean, I may as well be gay.”

I’m not entirely sure you’re not.

[laughs] “But the thing is, I got it [i.e. his goals]. I’ve done 14 Broadway shows and got a Tony award, and now I’m making money and no one even really knows. I’m getting away with murder. If I come back to New York in two years and nothing’s changed, I’ll be thrilled. All I really want to do is [act in] plays, play with my dog, have kids. My desires are pretty simple. I don’t really want to do movies anymore. I’m pretty tired of camera acting.”

Why are you tired of camera acting? Is it the repetition of it?

“No, no, quite the opposite. We don’t rehearse enough. We do scenes where people barely know their lines, where people just about know their lines. In theater, you do it so many times and you get so familiar that then you can actually start having fun with it. And I really miss that feeling.

“It’s true of films too. I don’t know. I think I’m fine on film, but … I have walked offstage and thought, ‘Wow, no one has done that better. People may have done it as well, but not better.' I’ve actually had that feeling after ‘Long Day’s Journey Into Night,’ or a Shaw play or whatever. I’ve never felt that way with film. I always feel like, ‘Boy, Donald Sutherland would have done that a lot better.’ [laughs] I just don’t think it’s what I do best. I think I’m fine, but there are people who are eerily good at it. In all humility, of which I have none [laughs], that’s how I feel about my work on stage. I really do feel that I’m gifted at it.”

Just to change gears completely, what happens in the finale?

“Well, I think the finale is a bit of a cliffhanger. Something very exciting happens. It’s extremely exciting and freaky and I think it’s great. I can’t say what it is. You end this season very curious about how the next season is going to start. It’s a great final show and a big cliffhanger.”

So it seems like Hugh Laurie is so disparaging of his own talents. But he’s so good as House.

“Some people ask me, ‘Oh, why does Wilson want to hang out with House so much?’ and I’m like, ‘You idiot.’ [laughs] House is designed to be attractive! He’s brilliant, he’s self-deprecating, he has a limp. But yeah, Hugh hates himself and he’s very funny about it.  There’s no better combination in my book. Like Lewis Black.”

But as an acting partner, he’s good to work with?

“Oh yeah. The thing is, with this part, Hugh has a huge obstacle he has to deal with, having an American accent. His problem isn’t our problem. We as the audience don’t have that problem, because what he doesn’t know is that he does it perfectly. But of course he doesn’t hear that. That’s why he can’t watch the show.

“When you’re doing an accent, you don’t feel like you’re interesting in the role. Even if everyone around is telling you that you are. And to be in a play is one thing, but to be on TV show that runs for years, I don’t know how he’s going to do it. To be that hard on yourself and be that disappointed in your own work. But as I said, and underline this four times, he’s wrong.”

And then he obviously hates when anyone calls him a sex symbol. You read his quotes when people ask him about that stuff and you can feel the embarrassment rising off the page.

“Yeah, he hates that stuff. And even more than the ‘sexy’ stuff, he hates the ‘you’re brilliant’ stuff. Of course there’s a part of him that likes him, there’s a part of all of us that likes that. [But him being hard on his performance], it’s not false vanity.

“I think Hugh does work he’s proud of and does work he thinks is good, I’m just not sure it’ll ever be this [show]. Having an accent… acting is letting go and forgetting yourself, it’s the opposite of ego. It’s flying away and getting away from yourself and forgetting. And when you’re doing an accent, it’s virtually impossible to do that.

“It’s hard when you're in a play, doing the same lines, the same way for eight months. Hugh learns 72 new lines a day and has to put an American accent on them. It really is an actor’s nightmare. I’ve done [with accents] Brian Friel plays, Martin Sherman plays, Tom Stoppard plays, and maybe five months into it you have a night where you kind of feel OK and kind of forget the accent and let go and let the scene happen. To have a strange accent in your mouth while playing a role, and then be judged for it, that’s hard stuff.

“And can I tell you, when you have dinner with Hugh Laurie [speaking in his real accent]… I miss that voice.”

Yeah. He called me once directly for an interview. I was expecting the publicist to put him through, but it was just that voice on the phone. I was sort of thrown for a minute.

“As we know, I’m straight, but yeah, it’s like, homina homina homina.” [laughs]

---- [source (part 2)] | part 1 | part 3 ---

it took me two hours to track this interview down. it might be the longest one he's ever done. first i tracked it down to tumblr pages posting about it with no source please stop doing that. then i found a short youtube video of laurie saying "homina homina" on an snl skit i think and someone in the comments mentioned the site where the rsl interview was posted. however the site wouldn't let me in, i guess they took it down so i headed to archive dot org. i didn't have a specific link though so that didn't really work out either. then for nearly an hour i tried a wide range of word combinations on google until i stumbled upon a livejournal page of rpf hugh laurie/rsl fanfic. SOMEONE tysm karaokegal posted the exact link i was looking for in the comments. quick trip to the wayback machine and here you go!

i should be on those ethical hacking competition things

[hersterical]

When Vi says “I am the dirt under your nails” my dad got all sarcastic and was like “Oh, how romantic?” And I was just kind of sitting there like… Yes it freaking is romantic!

First of all, part of good dialogue is that it’s dialogue the character would actually say. If Vi said something super pretty and sweet and something out of the big speech of a rom-com, it wouldn’t be romantic because it wouldn’t sound like Vi. It would sound hollow and insincere. The phrase itself might be a little awkward but what would be even more awkward if Vi said something more traditionally romantic sounding and out of character

Second, it’s reminiscent of the phrase ‘blisters and bedrock’

Third, yeah, it is a little self-deprecating. Out of context I can get why people could see it as demeaning. But actually watching the show Vi and Caitlyn are on equal footing for pretty much the entire time they’ve known each other. There does start to be a bit of a power difference in Act I of season 2, but that works as the exception that proves the rule because as soon as this power difference becomes apparent then they stop working. It’s only when they act as partners in Act II again that their relationship begins to heal

Fourth, I personally have always loved these gritty little details that brings romance back to earth. Cait and Vi have a far from perfect relationship and it’s built on a shared struggle and cause. They don’t have a story book, fairytale romance. It’s better because it’s real (well, you know what I mean). For these two there will always be another fight and they will always be getting their hands dirty. This line was specifically in response to the question ‘are you still in this fight with me’ so this is specifically just as much, if not more, about their relationship as partners fighting for the same cause and for each other as it is about their romantic relationship. It’s rough, it’s dirty, it’s ugly, it’s desperate, and it’s the most real thing that either of them have. For as long as one is fighting (always) the other will be fighting by their side.

Yeah, it’s a bit of a weird turn of phrase. Rough around the edges. But so is Vi. So is Cait. And so is their relationship. If anything that just makes it more special

[starlight-bread-blog]

Why I No Longer Ship Zvtara

Warning: This is a very anti zvtara & pro kataang post. This is your chance to leave.

As some of you may know, I am (or rather was), a Zvtara shipper. But lately I've been shying away from the ship. A lot of the arguments I used to believe in, for me, don't hold water anymore. And given how vocal I was about shipping Zvtara, I feel like I owe you an explanation. In this post I will go through common pro Zvtara & anti kataang arguments and unpack why I can no longer support them in good faith. (I will kinda burn through them though, it's just that feel like I owe you this).

"Zvko and Katara's character arcs & characters are parallels"

This is interesting because I wrote an essay on this very subject, and I still stand by everything I said in the essay, but only as a platonic reading of it. See, A:TLA is full of parallels and symbolism. Zuko also has parallels with Aang, Katara has parallels with Azula, etc. In a show like this, the parallels between Zuko and Katara don't carry enough weight to justify some specialness. They have a great, incredibly well written relationship, but in my opinion, the extent of it can remain platonic without standing out.

"Tui and La represent Zvtara"

Tui and La are The Ocean and the Moon spirits and very explicitly represent Yin and Yang. I can't see Yin and Yang as Zutara for two reasons:

1) Yin is the moon, feminine and shade. The moon & feminine, that's Katara. But Yin is characterized by dark, wetness, cold, passivity, disintegration etc). Katara might have an edge, but she is not dark. Not to mention passive. And disintegration seems like the opposite of a waterbender. Katara fundamentally is not a Yin.

2) Yin and Yang is a dynamic. A self perpetuating dynamic of two opposites creating and controlling each other. Katara and Zuko never created each other. While you can argue that they control each other by being "capturing the avatar" vs "protecting the avatar", the only time this conflict of interest ever turned into a dynamic was in the north pole, and by then Zuko would go on a season long journey far away from Katara.

"Making Zvtara canon would be thematically cohesive"

I also wrote an essay on this subject, and just like my other essay, I still stand by a platonic reading of it. I even went back and edited it to make that reading more prominent. The thematic cohesion is already achieved through their platonic bond. In any show, naturally the relationships between characters are going to reflect the themes, that's just how writing works. It doesn't mean the relationship should be romantic. They already have a thematically cohesive relationship, making it a romantic one doesn't add anything.

"Aang idealizes Katara"

For context, there are some instances where Aang is dismissing Katara's anger. For example, in The Chase:

Toph: You're blaming me for this?

Katara tosses aside her sleeping bag and gestures with her hands, challenging Toph to move closer. Aang jumps in between the two.

Aang[Desperately.]: No! No, she's not blaming you.

Katara[Angrily.]: No, I'm blaming her!

Rather these instances reflect of idealization, or merely of Aang's peace seeking nature that's trying to de escalate the situation, is up to interpretation. I choose to interpret them as the latter, because of The Southern Raiders.

Katara: We're going to find the man who took my mother from me.

Sokka pauses and stands up, surprised.

Zuko: Sokka told me the story of what happened. I know who did it and I know how to find him.

Aang: Um ... and what exactly do you think this will accomplish?

A really common talking point in the Zvtara fandom is that Aang just assumes that Katara is going to murder her mother's killer, instead of simply confronting him. Either way, he knows\thinks she's talking about murder. If he'd idealized her, he'd make a different assumption.

"Kataang harms Aang's character arc"

This is referring to the dilemma presented to Aang in The Guru. He had to let go of his attachment to Katara in order to master the Avatar State. The assumption is that his chakra was blocked, therefore he didn't let go. I disagree. We see him open his seventh chakra right before Azula shoots lightning at him.

One might argue that nothing changed about Aang's relationship to Katara, so the dilemma rings hollow. But something did change, Aang was romantically braver than he was before. He got more confident. Compare his flirting from The Headbend (b3) to The Fortuneteller (b1). It's night and day. And if you ask me, this is the natural consequence of feeling less attached.

Furthermore, when he explains to the GAang why he couldn't master the Avatar State, he cites Azula's lightning as the reason:

Toph: So, what's your strategy for taking him down? Gonna get your glow on and hit him with a little Avatar State action? Aang: I can't. When Azula shot me with lightning, my seventh chakra was locked, cutting off my connection to all the cosmic energy in the universe.

He couldn't master the Avatar State because of Azula's lightning, not because of his attachment to Katara. (I heard some people say this was confirmed that Aang was still attached, but I'm a big believer in Death of the Author so I don't really care if it's true).

"Kataang was one sided"

The general consensus in the Zvtara fandom is that Kataang is framed from Aang's perspective, and while the show teases us about Katara's feelings to create a "will they get together or won't they" tension. But can all of these hints really be contextualized that way? Some can, others, not so much. For example, Katara is show to be jealous of Aang in The Headbend when he dances with On Ji, and when they dance she gives him a loving look; in The Cave of Two Lovers, Katara smiles when she suggested they should kiss, and she blushes at the end of the episode. All of these moments cannot be swept under the rug in favor of a reveal that Katara didn't love Aang.

"Katara passing herself as Aang's mom is maternal"

I never really understood this argument, if I'm being completely honest. For two reasons:

1) In Howl's Moving Castle, Sophie works as Howl assistant and falls in love with him, but she's cursed, looking like an old lady. There's a scene where she too has to pretend to be his mom, and it turns into her realizing her feelings towards him. She becomes young again, a girl Howl's age. It's a beautiful confession, while pretending to be his mom. No one criticized that, becuase pretending to be someone's mom for the sake of a mission isn't maternal.

2) Sokka is also there. I don't think it's controversial to say Sokka isn't at all a parental figure to Aang. That's because the point of this joke isn't that Katara actually is motherly towards Aang, it's that they aren't actually similar to [Aang]'s supposed parents and this entire situaton is very silly. The implication behind this joke isn't that Katara is maternal towards Aang, but that she isn't.

SO! That's all I'm covering. Now, I hope I can put this subject to rest and discuss the many other great aspects of A:TLA.

[trainsinanime]

The following post is intended to be seen as levity and joking, not salt.

Chloé this, Chloé that, "Redemption started?", "Redemption interrupted?", "Redemption cancelled?". The discussion is getting old. What I haven't seen enough yet is how the show did Sabrina really dirty, by giving her the worst thing of all: A conscience.

The early parts of the show toyed a lot with how exactly Chloé and her relation to Sabrina works, which was clearly not well established when the first episode came out (hell, they didn't even seem to know who Max and Kim were yet, they only had their character models). Sabrina's deal is easy enough in the abstract, but difficult to pin down in the early episodes: Is she more meek or mean? More of a victim or more of a bully? Does she share Chloé's values whole-heartedly, opportunistically, or is she pressured into it? Does she have scruples or is she just a coward? Those are all elements in her character to some extent, but the exact mixture did not really solidify until she got an episode to shine and be away from Chloé, in Evilstrator.

That episode did the fairly obvious plot of Marinette going, "you can stand up to your bully instead of doing their homework for them!", and then showed us how Sabrina reacted. And the reaction was: Sabrina is every bit as unhinged as Chloé, just in completely different ways, and their dysfunctional relationship might just be the only one in which either of them can function.

This choice is not fully unproblematic, but ultimately okay in my book. I think die-hard Sabrina stans might call this character assassination, but I don't think there are any die-hard Sabrina stans. I feel like I should become one just to even out the numbers. Anyway, the choice clearly telegraphs that the show is not interested in long-running redemption arcs, which, you know, fair enough, it is designed for six-year-old French kids after all. (Yes, season 2 and 3 looked rather different here, but that's later)

The show did not exactly use Sabrina consistently after that, but for a while, they leaned into it. Early Sabrina was often mean, materialistic, codependent (I don't actually know what that word means I'm just guessing) and toxic in her own way. She broke into Marinette's room, helped steal Marinette's designs, lie and cheat for Chloé.

And then that was basically it. The show mostly forgot about her. She was an appendage to Chloé, usually frightened and a bit incompetent, but not much more. When Chloé showed signs of a bit of a hint of a redemption arc, Sabrina was not part of it. When Chloé gained a sister for, I actually don't know (I still maintain that "replacement bee" makes no sense for anything but selling merch), and there were hints that this might be relevant to her story, Sabrina wasn't there.

What did happen in the moments we saw Sabrina was that Sabrina got more meek, more scared of Chloé, and less mean. There were no more hints of her playing superheroes with Chloé and being at least somewhat of a friend, and also none of the meanness of Miraculer, one of the worst Akuma names in the show. Instead she was now in a closet doing Chloé's homework.

As she becomes less effective, she becomes more sympathetic, with some moments e.g. in the New York special, until she finally becomes Miss Hound. At this point we have basically the exact same thing that Evilstrator rejected: Sabrina is really just an oppressed underling who is too scared to tell Chloé to stop, instead of someone with at least some of her own ideas that happen to overlap with Chloé's in all the worst ways.

This all comes to a head in confrontation, when Sabrina's defining character trait is suddenly, out of nowhere, that as a police officer's daughter, she hates lying and stealing and hates that Chloé makes her do it. Since when!? Sabrina, weren't you around for Darkblade!?

Sabrina breaks off her friendship with Chloé and is now officially a good girl. And that sucks.

Old Sabrina had a certain edge to her. She made sense as an Akuma threat on her own, and even as a threat to Chloé as Vanisher and Miraculer. Now, she's only an Akuma effectively when Chloé tells her to, and she stopped listening to Chloé anyway. Her personality is now strictly: A good girl. Not like Chloé.

Ironically, in her emancipation, she has lost almost everything that made her unique, and become entirely defined by Chloé in every way. She's her own person, but with barely any personality traits except "not like Chloé anymore". No hobbies, no meaningful relationships with anyone, she's just there, and nice now I guess.

There are so much more interesting things you could have done with a mean Sabrina, which we know for sure because the show already did some.

But that's really part of a wider issue: When people talk about Chloé, they mostly forget Sabrina, and Sabrina isn't interesting enough to stand on her own. The ideas of a Chloé redemption throughout season 2, 3 and in some form 4 focused on Chloé's relationship with Ladybug, Marinette, a bit Adrien, Audrey, and a bit Zoé. Chloé's super-duper villain arc in season 5 focused on her relationship with Lila. Sabrina, who has been here from day one, who has the longest and most complex relationship with Chloé out of any character, is not a part of it at all.

I think that sucks. I think Sabrina has more potential, but in particular I think Chloé is more interesting if we include Sabrina in the discussion as well. Their relationship is something deeply weird and unique, and any Chloé redemption that brushes it off leaves a lot of very tasty crumbs on the table. It sucks that it ended like that. Yes, Sabrina is now redeemed, but as a result of that, she's boring, and isn't that much worse than being evil?

In short: We should all write more Chloé/Sabrina fanfics.

[why4anne]

Racing Hearts

Part: 1

Pairing: Jack Hughes x Reader

Word-count: 2k

Summary: F1 prodigy Y/N L/N finds herself with an unexpected crush on NHL sensation Jack Hughes.

Face claim: Madison Beer + others

Masterlist

“Do I have to do this interview?” I asked my media manager. I had just arrived at my hotel in Canada and apparently I had been scheduled for an Interview in an hour. “Yes, Y/N, you have to do this interview. The other guest has already flown out early to do this interview before the race-weekend starts and it will look really bad if you don’t show up” Sarah has been my media manager since I moved to F1 at the age of 19, which was 3 years ago and she was more than used to my antics by now.

“What is it even about?” I asked as I switched my attention from my phone to fully look at her.

“It’s something about 2 stars at the age of 22 or something. The other guest is Jack Hughes, a hockey player in the NHL” Sarah looked at her notes as she said this.

“Hockey player?” I asked, exasperated.”Sarah, I know nothing about hockey! What are we even going to talk about?” 

“Don’t worry, the interviewer will make sure everything goes smoothly. You just have to sit there, smile and answer the questions.” It was obvious that she was fed up with my whining at this point so I decided to shut my mouth.

An hour and a half later I found myself in a white room with three mics standing on a table. I greeted a guy named Evan who was the host of the podcast that the interview was for and sat down in my seat, waiting for this other guy to show up. 

Five minutes later I was making small talk with the host as the door opened and a man with light brown hair walked in and fuck was he hot. I found myself staring at him as he shook hands with Evan. I could clearly see his biceps under his white t-shirt and I would be lying if I said that they were small. But, before I could look for longer I found him in front of me with his hand outstretched. I quickly pulled myself out of my daydream and stood up to greet him.

“What’s up, I’m Jack” He introduced himself, his mannerisms and way of talking all screamed cool boy, which was very different from the pampered rich boys who were the majority of the people in racing.

“I’m Y/N, nice to meet you” I answered with a polite smile and shook his hand, locking eyes with him as I did so. I noticed how blue they were.

“Alright, if you both feel up for it I think we should get going” Evan interrupted our moment. 

“Sounds good” Jack agreed and we both took our seats.

“Welcome back to the Sport podcast, today we are joined by not one, but two special guests. We have hockey superstar Jack Hughes, a 22 year old center of the New Jersey Devils. He was drafted first overall in 2019 and has just come off a career high season with 99 points and a playoff run.” Evan introduced Jack to the podcast and I couldn’t help but be impressed with his stats. My knowledge in hockey may be limited but the way that Evan was describing him made him sound like a really good player

“Hey” Jack said into the mic. I couldn’t help but smile at his awkwardness .

“And we also have F1 protege Y/N L/N. She is currently the youngest driver on the grid but don’t be fooled, she’d been tearing up the grid for 3 years now and is currently looking like she might become the youngest World Champion in Formula 1 history, bringing the championship back to Ferrari for the first time since 2007.” Evan moved on to me.

“Ah, Evan, don’t jinx it” I smiled, all of my media training on the forefront of my mind and after years of this I would say that I’m quite skilled at the media game. 

“Just keeping it real,” Evan chuckled. “Now, how much do you guys know about each other?” 

Both me and Jack looked at each other, seeing who was going to answer first.

“Well, to be completely honest, I don’t know a lot about hockey so I’m kind of going into this interview completely blind, sorry” I admitted, feeling kind of bad for my lack of knowledge.

“No worries, I bet that you’re busy, " Jack reassured me. “I would say I’m a casual F1 fan, like I know the top teams and drivers”

"That's fair," I replied with a friendly smile. "I'm sure we can still have an interesting conversation, even if we're not experts in each other's fields."

Evan nodded in agreement and continued, "Absolutely, it's all about getting to know each other better and sharing some insights from your respective worlds. So, Jack, tell us, what's it like being a professional hockey player in the NHL?"

Jack leaned forward, his easygoing smile making him even more charming. "Being in the NHL has been a dream come true for me. It's intense, the competition is fierce, and the fans are incredibly passionate. There's nothing quite like stepping onto the ice in front of a packed arena. You feel the energy and the pressure, but that's what makes it all so exciting."

I listened to Jack's response with genuine interest, even though I had limited knowledge about hockey. He spoke with such passion and enthusiasm that it was easy to understand why he had such a successful career in the sport.

Evan then turned to me and asked, "Y/N, can you share with us what it's like being an F1 driver, especially at such a young age?"

I took a moment to gather my thoughts before responding, "Well, Formula 1 is an incredibly challenging and fast-paced sport with high pressure on the drivers and teams. As a driver, you have to be physically and mentally prepared for each race and you have to put up the results if you want to stay. I mean, there are only 20 seats in the entire world and if you’re not performing there is always another driver who will. I think going into it so young was both a blessing and a curse. It definitely put more attention on me as a driver, but at the same time I kind of got a head start.”

Jack nodded in understanding as I spoke. "Yeah, I can imagine the pressure, especially at such a young age. I mean, you're literally racing against some of the best drivers in the world. It must be quite the experience."

I appreciated his understanding, and I was starting to feel more at ease with the conversation. "Absolutely, and it's a constant learning process. But it's also incredibly rewarding when you have those moments of success and achieve your goals."

Evan jumped in, keeping the conversation flowing smoothly. "It's clear that both of you have a deep passion for your respective sports. What are some of the biggest challenges you've faced in your careers so far?"

Jack took a moment to reflect before answering, "One of the biggest challenges in my career has been dealing with injuries. Hockey can be a rough sport, and I've had my fair share of injuries that required a lot of rehab and patience. But it's part of the game, and it's made me stronger both physically and mentally."

I nodded in agreement, "In F1, the physical and mental demands are also immense. The travel schedule, the constant competition, and the pressure to perform can take a toll. Plus, adapting to different tracks and conditions is a unique challenge in itself. And, of course, there's the challenge of dealing with the media and public expectations."

Evan acknowledged our responses, "It's clear that both of your careers come with their own set of challenges, and yet you've managed to rise to the top of your respective sports. What advice would you give to young athletes aspiring to reach the level of success that you've achieved?"

Jack leaned in and said, "I'd say that dedication and hard work are essential. You have to be willing to put in the hours, stay committed to your training, and never give up, no matter how tough it gets. Surround yourself with a supportive team and use setbacks as opportunities to learn and grow."

I added, "I completely agree with Jack. In addition, I'd say it's important to keep a clear vision of your goals and stay focused. Stay true to your passion and love for the sport because that's what will drive you to overcome the challenges. And never forget that setbacks are part of the journey; they make the successes even more rewarding."

Jack nodded in agreement with my response. "That's some great advice, Y/N. Having a clear vision and staying passionate about what you do is crucial in any career, especially in sports."

Evan smiled and continued, "Thank you both for sharing your insights and experiences. It's clear that you're both dedicated and passionate individuals in your respective fields, and your advice is valuable for anyone striving for success. Now, before we wrap up, let's have a little fun. How about a rapid-fire round of questions for each of you?"

Jack and I exchanged amused glances, ready for the challenge. Evan fired off a series of questions, alternating between us.

"Favorite pre-game ritual?"

Jack answered first, "Listening to music that gets me pumped up."

I followed, "Visualizing the entire race, corner by corner, in my mind."

"Favorite post-game or post-race meal?"

Jack grinned, "Pizza, no doubt."

I chuckled, "A plate of pasta."

"Most memorable career moment so far?"

Jack's eyes lit up, "Scoring my first NHL goal. It was a dream come true."

I shared, "Winning my first F1 race. It was an unforgettable feeling."

As the rapid-fire questions continued, Jack and I found ourselves sharing more personal insights and even some lighthearted stories. We learned about our favorite travel destinations, hobbies outside of our respective sports, and our sources of inspiration.

The interview had transitioned from a professional exchange to a more relaxed and friendly conversation. Jack's charismatic and easygoing personality made it easy to connect, and I found myself genuinely enjoying our interaction. We even exchanged a few friendly jokes along the way, creating a comfortable atmosphere in the studio.

Evan, our host, couldn't help but smile as he witnessed the chemistry between us. "It's clear that you two are getting along great."

Jack nodded with a playful grin, "Yeah! Maybe we'll see Y/N at a hockey game one day."

I laughed, "Well, my media manager told me you’re attending the Canadian Grand Prix this weekend. Maybe I will see you in the Ferrari garage."

Jack chuckled, "I'll be sure to swing by the Ferrari garage and show some support. Maybe you can give me a crash course in F1"

I grinned at the idea. "Deal! And I'll make sure to catch a New Jersey Devils game when the opportunity arises. Maybe you can teach me a thing or two about hockey."

The interview wrapped up and Jack and I exchanged one last friendly smile.

"It was a pleasure, Jack. I’ll see you at the Grand Prix this weekend, I’ll be the one in red" I joked as we said goodbye.

Jack chuckled, "I'm looking forward to it. And if you ever want to catch a hockey game, just give me a call."

I chuckled, "I might just take you up on that offer. Best of luck with your season, Jack."

Jack flashed a warm smile as he nodded. "You too, Y/N. Good luck this weekend."

We both exchanged contact information and made plans to meet up during the Grand Prix this weekend. It was unexpected, but I had enjoyed our conversation, and I was genuinely looking forward to seeing Jack again. 

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, jackhughes and 1 242 635 others

yourusername: I had a blast on @/Sports_People today. Go check out their latest episode "Two stars under 22", where @/jackhughes and I delve into our experiences in sports.

view comments:

Sports_People: Such a great episode, thanks for joining us!

liked by yourusername

jackhughes: I had a great time! See you this weekend

- yourusername: I'll be the one in red!😜

holly_hockey: My two faves together? Yes please!

ferrarimorris: I'll be at the race on Sunday, hope you win! Forza Ferrari!

jackhugheswifeyyy: Of course she's pretty aswell, my chances are getting slimmer by the minute🤧

- caufieldsonfire: she's a brunette, don't worry

curiousgeorge: Move to McLaren please! We need youuuu!!🙏💀

[miimo96]

Thoughts on My Adventures with Superman S2 episode 5

I love how Wholesome this Clark is, at 1st it looked like he wasn't really into attending the contest, but as soon as he heard that it was going to be Donating money to the children's hospital, he immediately made up his mind, Showing us once again Why this Show is Amazing, Because they Know how to HANDLE Superman

Aaaaahhh!! We're Finally being introduced to Kara, Omg She looks Soooo good I can't wait to see how they handle her and her relationship with Clark, maybe we might actually get see the "Sibling" Dynamic I talked about not to long ago ^^; (also is it me or does kara look kinda familiar, I don't know she just looks someone I've seen before I just can't put my finger on it, hmmmmm 🤔 eh it's probably nothing )

Annnd just like that Love at 1st sight, in all seriousnes I really love Jimmy's character and how he's handled throughout this show, It's clear that he does feel Guilty for What happened last episode, after all He was the one who gave Lex the "motivation" to do what he is doing So I understand that he does feel responsible in someway, plus he did bring Clark to Expo in the 1st place which led to Superman being framed when the Villains attacked, but C'mon, you Didn't know that would happen or that Lex would be there, or that you guy's would have a TED TALK discussing the "Dangers" of Superman, You have No reason to feel guilty or have any obligation to Fix this because it wasn't your Fault, just sit down and talk to your boy and for crying out loud Omg 😫

Also Clark using his X-ray vision to immediately see who was running is extremely funny to me for some reason idk why lol 😅

Ok 2 things, 1 Lois throughout this episode was really infuriating to me, Lois's ego was really shining here I mean she really feels that there's Nothing Specail about her, and that it would be completely unlikely for a guy like Superman to ever be interested in a person like her, because "who would ever be interested in the reporter right" even though they made entire episode last season focusing on the LOL/ League of Lois Lanes and how Lois lane is DESTINED to be with Superman in every reality, so it really Grinds my gears when she starts getting jealous when she sees Superman acting single around other contestants/girls, and wants act all salty and question if they're even "right" for each other and that maybe he should be with someone who is more Special than her when in reality that's exactly WHY he fell for you in the 1st place, because you are Different and because you Makes him feel Normal, also you're the 1 that Told him to "act" single in the 1st place like Wtf!? Also I find it hilarious that Clark immediately waves as they're talking about who could Superman's identity be, like it's LITERALLY right in front of them 😂

Judging by this scene it feels like she's never been on Earth before whatsoever, from her being to foriegn to stuff like what Ice cream and hot dogs are, to earlier with her wanting to immediately square up with a Truck, It's pretty clear that THIS Is her 1st time being on earth, leaving the question Now to where has she been all this time, and who is her father? Because as far as I'm aware I thought only her and Kal were last 2 kryptonians that made it off Krypton, So who could her "father" be? Well there's only 1 option, but I'll save that for a later scene ;)

So as I was watching this I kept wondering on who the heck the other contestants were, as far as my knowledge of comic books go it's Not really that good, since I mainly grew up with cartoons and only read a few comics from time to time and Superman was the 1 thing that I Never really kept up with all that time, So forgive me I don't really know who most of the people are on here other than Hank Hanshaw AKA Cyborg Superman, if y'all happen to know feel free to lemme know in the comments or just Ask me in the submissions Thx ^^;

Also can Clark Not come up with a good excuse to change into Superman, I mean how hard is it to say "I'm going to the bathroom, I'll be right back" also saying you're going somewhere and then immediately having Superman show up is completely Sus as hell, how has no one else figured out Who the heck he really is yet ?😅

Ah the Jealous girlfriend face 🤣🤣 also the scene here with Hank talking about just how dangerous Superman is and how he is literally a weapon waiting to go off just shows how much Lex is affecting people and how he already has people thinking he's right; This is stuff that will Definitely be brought up in season 3, I can already see the "Earth is for Earthlings" Hashtags 😅also I don't know about you but to me there's definitely something suspicious about Silver from the way she's acting, idk but to me I'm thinking that maybe Silver may not be as sweet as we think she is, hmmmm 🧐

I love the callback from Last episode with her saying "everything" when Jimmy asks what she wanted to see, just like how he did when Clark asked him the same question, also between this and the Jimmy from the Supergirl TV show on CW, Jimmy really has a knack for pulling Strong powerful women, Nice ^_^

I Really love how Devoted kara already is to Jimmy, the fact that she immediately was ready to go and completely DESTROY Whoever hurt Jimmy tells you just how much she Already cares about him just from being on this planet for like idk 3 hours maybe, bro really knows how to pull the Baddies, Ngl I ship them ^^

She's LITERALLY the embodiment of this

Bruh Kara is really talking crazy here, to me this Not how kryptonians Speak, as far as I'm aware kryptonians are usually intelligent chill people with only a few of them being like soldiers, they're Not effing Conquerors, tbh this Version of them sounds more like Sayains than anything, Damn they're really going in on the whole Anime theme this season huh, which leads me to my Next topic; I think I Know who Kara's father supposedly is, here me out but what if it's Freaking ZOD, think about it, what if before she left krypton Zod kidnapped her as a baby and raised her to make her Think that she was his own, hence why she has this mindset and Why she's talking like this; after all Besides Kal only Zod and her would be last 2 kryptonians, So it's possible he could've raised her and molded her into the warrior/ conquer she is today Similar to him, and if you still don't believe me, then take a Good look at what She says here Next

Ladies and Gentlemen, I rest my effing Case ^^ also OMG WTF IT WAS HER THE ENTIRE F#%KING TIME!? 🤯

Ok 3 things: 1 she beat the Absolute Shit out of him my god she showed No mercy even to her Own cousin Wow, 2 the Animation for this fight scene in this episode was Wild omg I loved every minute of it, They have Not missed a Beat this season when it's come down to the Animation whatsoever, and finally 3 Her design for this Suit looks Just effing incredible, Omfg I love the Red and black color scheme they got going on here and the Symbol, aside from Bulky ass Shoulder pads, everything just looks So effing CLEAN, Man I can't wait to see the Fanart from this Suit; Also it's clear that Brainiac is controlling her somehow judging by how she keeps hesitating and the way her eyes go completely blank after She receives her orders, So there may be hope for her Just yet, but in the end I know that even IF she turns good, Earth is going to be Completely against her and Superman by the end of this Season, So yeah...

Wow it looks like we Gotten yet another New superpower for this man, Ngl, I'm not a fan at all, the last one we got from him was his Bio electric aura which at 1st I wasn't a fan of but once I thought about It some more and did a bit more research on it, It really started to grow on me, Since it's how he's able to Defy the impossible, THIS however I am just Not feeling it, this does make any sense for him to have and Never even once in my life have I ever seen this man Shoot effing energy from his Mouth, like what is even the Point of this power and what is it used for like Bruh, Sry but this is Definitely ain't for me, and is Not going to grow on me anytime soon ^^;

No Please Not the Injustice FINISHER, Omg DON'T DO HIM LIKE THAT!! 😱😱😱

Wow this episode was just Balls to the Walls insane, between this and the Reveal that Brainiac was the one She was referring to as "father" i have No idea what else to expect from this Season, and this is Just making me completely unsure about what's gonna happen next for the future of this show, Omg this Series is so good, Can't wait for the next one #SupermanSaturdays

[just-wrting]

Just My Type

Title: Just My Type

Pairing: Nanami Kento x Reader

Summary: Itadori helps you get closer to a man who is just your type and your opposite.

Word Count: 2126

Master List

A/N: I'm so sorry! I got a really bad string of migraines and started to sink into a slump. But here is the next prompt! I'll try to keep up, but I won't finish during October I guess. Also, NO SPOILERS PLEASE! I haven't seen season 2.

You tilt your head and study the young boy in front of you. Unsure of the reason, you wonder what sort of reason would lead the more powerful Nanami to leave a teenager in your care.

“Remind me again why I’m in charge.”

“I’m needed elsewhere and can’t leave him alone. He is to be supervised at all times.”

You frown and look over your shoulder at Nanami. He looks as stoic as ever, even getting ready to head out as he talks.

“Well, for being the vessel of the king of curses, he’s awfully adorable. Are they so sure he poses a threat?” 

He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I am not qualified to speak on that. Just don’t get him killed in the process of whatever you are doing today.”

“You’re being so cold today, Nanami. A thank you wouldn’t hurt, but since you’re my favorite I’ll do you this favor.”

—-

The silence is overwhelming. You aren’t sure how to approach a conversation with Itadori.

“Despite your power level most likely being above mine, I’d like you to stay back when fighting curses today. I know you’d be fine, but if this whole thing with those special curses involves other sorcerers, you need to know more about them.”

It’s almost comical howhe tilts his head in response. “I need to know more about those sorcerers? We don’t even know who they are.”

You push down the urge to ruffle his hair like he’s a dog and shake your head. “You need to know more about other sorcerers in general. Cursed techniques vary between people even if they are similar. The more you see the better you’ll be able to pick up on things.”

You know that’s not one hundred percent true. Some sorcerers are good at keeping their technique hidden while others get benefits for telling their technique. Nanami is open about his technique and you often find yourself a bit jealous of it. The ability to create a weak point on your opponent is amazing.

“Then what’s your technique?”

You wave your hand, attempting to dismiss the question. “It’s nothing as cool as others. It’s not even that powerful.”

Despite you being dismissive, Itadori stares at you expectantly. He’s new to the world of curses, and seems to always be willing to learn a bit more about them. His willingness to put others first is also adorable, and you find it hard to tell him no.

“It’s easier to show than explain. If you want the simple answer, I can turn my cursed energy into flowers. Each does something different,” you say awkwardly. “If you want, there’s rumors about a curse near here. If there is one I’ll show you.”

“Let’s go! No point in waiting!”

—-

You know as soon as you enter the open space that the curse is going to give you trouble. It’s not stronger than you in fact, it's a little weaker. The issue is that you’ve been hiding an injury. That’s what will make it difficult.

“Like I said Itadori, stay back unless I say so. I’ll be able to handle it, it just might take me a bit.”

He opens his mouth to protest, but chooses not to. You’re stubborn and would make sure that he listens even if he protests. Keeping him safe is better than letting him get hurt. The poor kid has already died.

You analyze the area, trying to figure out the best place to start. The curse is too strong to be easily put to sleep with a blanket of lavender, but it would still disorient it. The problem is that you aren’t sure if, as a human, Itadori would be knocked out.

The first step is easy. You reach into a little orange pouch and pull out a few seeds. After imbuing them with your cursed energy, you place them across your side. Within seconds, bright orange blossoms appear and the soothing effect begins.

“Woah, what are those?” Itadori asks and reaches his hand out.

“Calendula blossoms. They’re used in rash and burn treatments but my cursed energy allows them to ease all my pain.”

Thankfully your cursed energy also means that they’re easy to remove. There’s no pain during the removal, the pain from the original injury returns soon after though. It’s something that you’ve never used on another person, but it’s very effective on yourself for pain management.

“If you start to feel tired, back up. The area of effect is larger than I’d like for this space,” you warn before stepping forward.

You hold your hand out, having dozens of fuzzy seeds appear. Pulling a fan out of your satchel, you keep your eyes peeled for the curse. The soft light causes shadows to flicker, and you make sure to glance in each direction to carefully inspect even the smallest of movements.

From above drops a misshapen dark blob. It lands in front of you, and you shield the seeds from the burst of air. Once the air stills again, you blow the seeds towards the curse. Each starts to take root in the curse’s face. The rapid growth of your curse causes the seeds to bloom within a few seconds. Dozens of dandelions pop out of their shells.

The curse howls and tries to pull out one of the flowers. With a massive tug, it pulls out a root at least eight inches long. This leaves a bleeding hole in the curse. As it writhes in pain, the other dandelions close up to turn into the fluffy seeds. The movement will cause them to spread all over the curse, so you tuck away your fan.

You duck and twist through the tentacles of the blob. You’re doing your best to avoid getting smashed as it squirms in pain. There’s no sympathy from you as you leap over it and land on the other side. Taking seeds from a purple pouch, you toss them along the ground.

A blanket of lavender spreads along the ground, engulfing the grimy concrete. As each flower blooms, the soothing scent of lavender hangs in the air and the curse starts to move slower. It won’t be put to sleep by the flowers as weaker curses might, but it will slow it down and relax it. You aren’t fully immune to this yet, and you feel the smell start to relax your body.

This slower reaction time causes you to stumble when the curse swats at you. It sends you flying into the field of lavender. Blood drips down your side as your injury reopens. The pain takes longer to subside this time.

“I need to wrap this up,” you mumble under your breath. “I’m going to make a fool out of myself.”

You pull three seeds out of the red pouch and clutch them in your fist. You set it ablaze with cursed energy, ready to punch through the curse. As you sprint towards it, you try to ignore the growing spot of blood on your side.

You let your body drop into a slide, coming to a stop under the blob. Despite the lack of momentum, you’re able to punch up into its center. You open your hand and deposit the seeds. As they start to poke through, you scramble back.

Three rose bushes burst out of the curse and start to climb up its body. The reddish-orange roses bloom as the thorny vines meld together. It takes no more than a minute or two for the whole curse to be covered in roses. You extend your hand out and light the bushes on fire with cursed energy.

With the large bleeding holes from the pulled dandelions and the spiky web of roses, the curse is exorcized. As it disappears, you let all of the flowers wither. The petals fall from the air, but turn into nothing before hitting the ground. You feel woozy, but suck it up.

“That was surprisingly cool!” Itadori yells as he rushes towards you. “I didn’t think flowers could kill curses.”

You ruffle his hair. “Thanks, I like to think I have some surprises. Be sure to tell Nanami how cool I am. Just don’t tell him I fought while injured, I don’t want it to impact my chances of a promotion.”

“I’ll make sure he thinks you’re cool too!”

—-

You’re staring at the displays in the shop window longfully. You’ve been good at limiting your spending, but the display of the stuffed animal cat is too cute to resist. It might be silly to see an adult fawning over how plush it looks, but you don’t really care.

As you make up your mind to head in, you feel a hand on your shoulder. You spin around and see Nanami. Itadori runs over to join the two of you.

“What are you doing here?” you ask.

“Gojo is coming back today and he agreed to meet in Tokyo! I wanted to look around so I got here early,” Itadori explains as he shows off a few shopping bags. “I think I see him over there!”

With the quickest goodbye you’ve ever heard, the boy rushes off. You’re not surprised by his actions since he acts lively all the time. It’s adorable how excited he is to visit the city.

“Isn’t he adorable? He’s like a puppy or a little brother,” you giggle. “It’s a good thing you’ve also taught him.”

“What makes you say that?”

You start to feel a little nervous. “Well, Gojo doesn’t have to worry about making rash decisions. He can practically fight however he wants with how strong he is. You and I have to make smart choices so we don’t die. Someone needs to teach him that he needs to make smart choices.”

“I suppose you’re correct. It would be a shame if you made a choice that led to your death,” he agrees.

“Not that Gojo can’t teach him important things. He has his own charms and abilities.”

Nanami gets a far-off look in his eyes. “Do you find Gojo charming?”

You’re taken aback. It never crossed your mind to talk about romance with your fellow sorcerers, for various reasons, let alone talk to someone as stoic as Nanami about it. Here he is, mentioning the topic to you.

“Not really. Sure I would complain about having a strong man loving me, but I wouldn’t classify Gojo as my type. If you’re considering me your friend now, I could indulge you by telling you my type,” you say with a cheeky grin. “I’m always down to talk about romance.”

Nanami sighs. “I suppose I can’t stop you.”

You giggle. “You could, but if I’m going to tell you my type, I want to hear yours. What could the type of such a secretive man be? It’s like a romantic mystery.”

He crosses his arms and gives a slight frown. Nothing is said, so you take it as an agreement to your condition.

“Well, my type of guy is someone who’s intelligent and calculating. Being strong isn’t a must, but it would be nice.” You press your lips together as you think. “As much as a man who is sweet would be amazing, I just want him to be nice to me at least, like a gentleman!”

As you list off traits, you realize that you’re describing the things you know about Nanami. However, you don’t share that fact. Why would a man who is so stoic and stern like someone who is emotional and soft?

“You wanted the cat in the window, correct?”

Nanami’s question catches you off guard. You don’t know when he turned to point at it, or how he figured out that you wanted the cat.

“Yeah, how did you know?” you sheepishly respond. “I can’t help but like cute things.”

His jaw is clenched, and you know he’s got something bothering him. Whatever it is, it doesn’t stop him from gently leading you into the shop.

“Since I can’t tell you my type right now, I’ll get you the cat. Consider it a sort of promise to tell you when I can. Besides, Itadori talked a lot about you, so I need to thank you for looking after him."

You feel your face heat up as he pulls one off the shelf. Trying to push the feeling in your chest down, you give him a big smile.

“Don’t worry! I’ll hold you to it,” you exclaim. “Besides, you know I wouldn’t judge you for what your type is. After all, I did sort of describe you.”

You’re too preoccupied with the other stuff in the store to notice that the composed look on Nanami’s face starts to slip.

For anyone curious, the roses are Warm Welcome Roses!

[noangeleither]

yin and yang: carmy and sydney's creative processes + menu planning

what i love about analyzing carmy and sydney is the way they mirror each other. their similarities and differences, and how they have the potential to complement each other well. truly make each other better at this.

this is most evident with the way they approach creating a dish.

sydney's creative process

evidenced by sheridan (s01e05) and sundae (s02e03), sydney is very imaginative when it comes to creating a dish. the editing in these episodes gives us an intimate view of her creative process. recipes often come to her in dreams/daydreams.

sydney gets inspired by her passion for cooking, her family history and her city/world around her (architecture, nature, other restaurants in Chicago). this really fits into sydney's motivations as a chef.

Sydney uses food to make people happy. She likes to take care of people. someone on here explained the significance of sydney wanting exactly one michelin star, which would signify affordable high quality food that normal everyday people have access to. in braciole she mentions to marcus that her dad and her didn't really go out to eat so when they did, they made it count and it was special. she wants to create an experience like that with her own spot (the Bear).

so naturally that is reflected in her food. its not simply a great meal, but a fabric/archive of her culture, history, worldview and entire character.

while sydney has a very imaginative creative process, she often just jots down her ideas in her little notebook(s), for later reflection.

carmy's creative process

carmy has a more tense relationship with cooking. while sydney and carmy are both amazing chefs, carmy seems to be more jaded and detached from his work.

for carmy he grew up in a household where food was a big part of his family. his mom, mikey, and nat can all cook well. he is naturally very great at it. he uses food to be closer to the people he loves. thats why in the face of rejection from his brother, he goes off and becomes one of the best chefs in the country out of spite. why he uses the beef to try and fix his relationship with mikey. why he was so devasted when syd quit and why he started his dream restaurant with her after she came back.

because we dont get an intimate look into carmys psyche when creating a dish, its harder to say but based off his monolouge in braciole (s01e8) and the way he uses food to connect with people he loves rather than having passion for it independently i can surmise that carmy isn't imaginative as sydney. food is more like a math equation (ironic)/a science.

“he’s the best bc he didn’t have any of the bullshit”, emotional ties/relationships of any kind. his career esp at EMP were isolating, rigid and cold. he was the best bc he was calculating, precise and competitive. which breeds excellence in his field while straying him further away from love and true passion.

i imagine carmy to be more pragmatic with creating a dish.

but carmy is a creative person at his core and while creating a dish might not be as colorful as when sydney does it. we do know that carmy can draw and visualize his ideas onto paper. "Sistine Chapel" level drawings according to syd.

sydney + carmy - potential true partnership

on my 3rd rewatch, i couldn't help but feel so dissatisfied with their partnership. granted this is on purpose since the show is only 2 seasons in and they are trying to do a slow burn in all aspects, not just romantic.

it really hit me that carmy and sydney have never - at least on screen - created a meal together. in s1, we never see the risotto come to fruition, we just get carmys input but never the finished product. in s2 finally, carmy and Sydney work together now that their dynamic has changed from boss and employee to partners. we get like what? 4 scenes of them creating the menu, and having this amazing professional chemistry but ultimately leads to two failed dishes, which would be ok if they worked together after that. but they dont...

instead for the rest of the season, we see them (mainly Syd) working on the menu separately. the menu is....alright. mainly has carmy written all over it (he has a the seven fishes + cannolis, weird homage to one of the worst nights of his life).

*putting on another pair of shipper goggles to say this makes the whole "you make me better at this" confession, even more mind-boggling bc better at what? you guys haven't even worked together all season. this = life , i rest my case*

in s3 and beyond, im excited for them to truly start working together as partners and actually see them create a dish together.

i want to see how their approaches to creating a dish can help the other.

how sydneys creative process can help carmy

besides the obvious romantic implications of the palette cleanser outing, the potential for them to understand each other on a deeper level in regards to food is something i mourn everyday.

after sydney goes on her trip solo, we see her ride the ferry and just take a look at her surroundings. shes thinking about the food she ate, shes looking at buildings, windows, looking at the snow. all inspiration for a dish.

imagine if carmy was there with her. he would be curious about what she's thinking about, get insight on how she creates and maybe want to learn to see food in a less practical way.

i mean he hadn't drawn in years it seems until he was inspired by sydney and the chaos menu to draw again....now imagine if he didn't ruin the moment by bringing up claire (LMFAO). the point is, sydney naturally sparks creativity and passion in him, even when they aren't together.

i know many people are theorizing that carmy will leave the culinary industry (and i agree most of the time) but i also think sydney is slowly but surely helping him discover/re-discover a passion for cooking. i think that carmy likes that sydney likes to take care of people because subconsciously he knows he does the same thing or has the potential for it (i.e making tiff sprite from scratch when she was experiencing morning sickness). evidenced by fishes (s02e6), care often feels like an obligation (he takes care of drunk donna when shes going through an episode) but it doesnt have to be this way. and now carmy wants to get a star for her....their interests are slowly aligning.

how carmys creative process can help sydney

this isn't as concrete as the one above but i found it interesting thinking about how carmys more pragmatic approach and sydneys idealistic approach can work in tandem.

first scene in pop (s02e5) shows sydney and tina late at night working on the tasting menu. later in the episode we find out that carmy has been pushing back menu planning leaving sydney on her own. she trying an elements concept which is extremly creative and impressive but even tina says, which sydney later agrees, that its a lot for a tasting menu.

im stretching maybe....but based on carmys comment on her risotto from the season before (needs acid) + his practical approach, it seems like he acts like a buffer when sydneys ideas get "a lot".

*in chemistry buffers are solutions added to resist pH changes when acidic and basic components are added*

so if carmy needs to be more creative and sometimes sydneys ambitions gets ahead of her....

sydney is the heart, while carmy is the brain (???)

one cannot work without the other. when they truly come together to create the menu, they both need to learn from one another to elevate the restaurant. not to mention with carmy's italian american roots and syd's Nigerian-Caribbean/southern roots, they have the potential for amazing fusion dishes and real partnership. i and others want the menu to physically reflect both of them.

conclusion

i literally dont know where im going with this. sorta kinda meta but its more like hopes and dreams for next season and me wanting to type my ideas down.

they complement each other well ok? and have potential for a great partnership once they communicate better. i like this part of the definition of yin and yang:  Their interaction is thought to maintain the harmony of the universe and to influence everything within it.

carmy and Sydney are the leaders of the bear, their relationship is foundational to the success of their restauarnt and team, once they work together truly, play to their strengths and weaknesses, then will come true harmony in their universe.

bonus

more sydcarm parallels/similaries/differences/yin yang moments:

carmys gold chain, syds silver earrings

carmys white t-shirts, syds white button ups

carmy is bad at math, syds great with numbers

carmy wasn't really great at school, this is sorta fanon but i can imagine syd excelled in school

both wear birkenstocks (more a chef thing but i still think its cute)

sunshine x grumpy trope but like better...usually the sunshine (syd) is more emotionally vulnerable making a space for grumpy (Carm), but they switch positions. carmy allows sydney to be more emotionally vulnerable often initiating deep conversations, while syd is more closed up/guarded

overall tho i think its cute that they are both shy/emotionally stunted but i do think purely aesthetic wise, sydney has a softer exterior ( doe eyes, colourful scarves, awkward) while carmy is more intimidating (tats, smokes, looks angry all the time)

both fight dirty - i.e their individual fights with richie (review, the bear)

carmy tho is more prone to outbrusts of anger/violence while sydney lets that shit shimmer until she explodes on you

both their passcode being 11111

carmy having dark mode on his phone, syd having light mode in s2

their matching clothes moments earlier in the second season and in bolognese

if theres more, pls comment/reblog, bc i always think of this shit and need more to cry about

fin!

credits: gif 1&2 , gif 3 and gif 4

[karin-gespenst]

disabled children and their parents - part 1

this post will be about babies born with disabilities, and part 2 will be about Susan Mullocks.

Call the Midwife has quite a number of families that are surprised to learn that their newborn has something going on that will make their lives different. Understandably they go through shock and adjustment periods and have to face difficult decisions. We will take a look at some examples in the third part of this post.

In a few cases the parents know before birth that there could be something that endangers their babies life and/or wellbeing.

One of the cases where the parents worry because of an older sibling who has a problem is the Sands family with Elaine. The girl shows symptoms of delayed development and starts having fits, due to phenylketonuria. Fortunately her baby sibling is fine. Elaine will need a special diet all her life to manage her condition and it is unclear how much she will be able to catch up on development. Both her parents are educated by medical staff and do their best. s10e5

Another family who has health concerns is the Aidoo family: first diagnosed in expecting mother Flora, they learn that her son and husband also have sickle cell disease. With both parents afflicted, it's a big concern that their newborn could also have it. Knowing what it is that will make their own and their children's lives harder, the family adjusts with the help of the Nonnatuns. Sickle cell disease remains a huge challenge for families and the health care providers worldwide - one thing people anywhere can do to help is sign up as a stem cell donor and maybe one day donate healthy blood stem cells to a patient. s8e2

In one case it was the grandmother who worried, because she knew about the family history with haemophilia. Hoping her daughter, Lorna Pryce, would have a baby girl, she did not mention that her husband died of the blood disorder. When the baby boy is born, it becomes apparent quickly that something is not working well and he needs hospital care in his first days of life. Probably not for the last time. His grandmother's experience may be helpful in managing his condition. s12e3

Kinda worried: The Reed family. Achondroplasia is making some things a challenge for Peggy and Derek Reed. The doctors fear that the baby they are expecting is going to have the condition as well - which would be likely, and the parents know what life would bring for their child. The other worry is that the child may not live, which would be very hard to bear. In the end the child is well and of regular size for a newborn. The new worry of her parents is that she will outgrow them soon - and they will indeed have to make adjustments again and again, like all parents have to. s6e3

Very clear example of a couple who has plenty of reasons to be anxious: another father called Derek, who has served in the army and was exposed to radiation during his time, is suffering even years after. What he did not expect is that the radiation poisoning would affect his children. When his wife Audrey gives birth, their son Christopher only lives for a few hours. Christopher's body did not develop in a way that made survival possible. The damage his father had endured on a genetic level caused Christopher's legs to be only half formed and more anomalies less visible caused his death. A deep shock for his parents. s10e1

A year later, after collecting information about similiar cases, Audrey is pregnant again. They trust the Nonnatuns to help again with the birth, but their fear that the new baby might also have problems is throwing a shadow over their excitement. Luckily their baby girl is well and lives. s11e1

Another example from an earlier season: (s3e5) in this episode mainly the baby's grandparents and the medical staff are worried that it might have a genetical condition: Sally Harper, a young woman with Down's syndrome, is pregnant. The baby's father, Sally's boyfriend Jacob who also lives in St. Gideon's, wants to marry her but is refused because he has a disability, too. Their baby is born too early and does not survive. We do not learn if it had Down's Syndrome. Sally and Jacob are separated, her parents would rather forget about everything. Jacob is sent to a different institution and does not get to say goodbye to Sally or to their child.

let's stay a while on the topic of babies who die from their disabilities.

Irene and Pat Kelly are devastated when their newborn son dies suddenly. Later they learn that he had a problem with his lungs, they were not developed fully and that cut his life very short. There was no sign of a problem right after his birth, and there was nothing that could have been done to help him. The Kelly's can only grieve. s2e2

Valerie's cousin Maureen gives birth to her third child, Warren. At first everything looks fine, then she notices that her son is unusually floppy and quiet. Dr Turner finds symptoms that point to a problem with his heart, and the diagnosis later is that the baby was exposed to german measles in utero. Several problems make it unlikely that he will live long, and his parents are shocked and sad. Then they decide to care for him at home to make his life as comfortable and happy as they can. Maureen attempts to help her older children to cope with the situation and form a bond with their baby brother. Warren dies quietly while his parents and siblings are sleeping close by. This way the family was able to say goodbye in a way they could bear. s9e6

Ruby Cottingham, proud mother of a bunch of boys, is pregnant again and hopes she'll get a girl. She has a difficult labor and needs a C-section, and the doctor is taken aback when he sees that the child is missing all limbs and other body parts. The hospital staff never lets Ruby see her baby, they decide to put the newborn in a side room and let the child die instead of trying to find out how to help. Sister Julienne finds and holds the baby while it is passing away. She is speaking up against a cruel decision, and later delivering the horrible news to Ruby. In the months after Ruby is dealing with her pain mostly alone and when she learns why her child died it is of no comfort. Thalidomide damaged her baby and she lost her child because some complete strangers did not do their work properly and sold dangerous medication. s5e4

Of the parents with disabled babies who lived there are some who will grow up just fine because their problem can be fixed with surgery, medication or other treatments. We'll look at them towards the end of this post. On the other hand, some children will be unwell all their lives and not grow as old as their peers.

Merle and Billy Vickers have two sons with the same puzzling poor health symptoms, and the little one is only saved from choking because his mother ran with him to get help at Nonnatus house. Sister Monica Joans insistence that Dr Turner look into an old textbook that describes their illness helps find the diagnosis "cystic fibrosis" and the treatment that will make the two boys' lives easier. With artificial enzymes they can have less side effects, but they will never be completely fine. s3e1

A newborn with a broken bone needs very careful handling. When Janice and Ray Prendergast have their first baby, Raymond, Sister Julienne discovers two broken bones within a very short time. Afraid that the boy has been assaulted, Dr Turner decides to take him away from his parents and into foster care. When the foster mother brings the baby in with another fracture, it becomes apparent that Raymond has osteogenesis imperfecta, and is therefore likely to suffer more broken bones. Extremely careful handling will protect him somewhat, but his life will be very challenging. s4e5

Two families, Shirley and Ian Dent and Marion and Godfrey Smith, are faced with a predicament like few others: their babies were muddled in the maternity home and each family took home the wrong child. One of the girls, Deborah, has a heart problem and will need surgery to survive. The parents are shocked and worried, and then they learn that the baby they have been caring for is not their own but the daughter of their aquaintances. They suddenly have the option of giving up the responsibility for Deborah. But it is not that easy. They have formed a bond with the sick child and cannot imagine just swapping her for another baby, not even their biological child, Jackie. The question how each family will go forward is unresolved, and we don't know if the risky surgery went well and the girl was fine. s4e7

Also unclear what became of the youngest child in the Lund family. The mother and older sister have Huntington's disease and will suffer increasingly from nerve damage. The hereditary condition could also be present in the baby, with no option of diagnosis as long as there are no symptoms. s7e3

Let's move on to more cheerful stories, shall we?

Remember Kirk? Youngest of six children, born with a cleft lip and cleft palate. Very inconvenient when your only job is sleeping and nursing. Milk gets into the airways and pneumonia will creep in, it's a nightmare. Now his mom Betty is usually a very competent and energetic woman. But with five other children demanding her attention and no husband at home because those sailors tend to sail away all the time, Betty feels she cannot give Kirk the care he needs. Adoption is considered. Until Valerie swoops in, sweeps the school children out the door, smack-talks the oldest boy into taking appropriate responsibility and gives Betty a hand with some of the chores. Kirk has his first surgery, his dad comes home, there's applause and a few years later he gets to be a flower child at Lucille's wedding. s8e3

Also in hospital with some complicated treatment: Clover, daughter of Clover, who now wants to be called Susan again. While the young woman wanted to give birth as naturally as possible, her baby needed immediate intervention because she was born with gastroschisis. Shelagh saves the day with some excellent staying calm skills, and the staff at the children's hospital find a way to put Clover's organs back where they belong. Susan reconciling with her father will also help Clover grow up safe and healthy. s13e2

I did not know that it is possible for a baby to be born with cancer. But apparently it happens often enough to have a name, this quite unlucky genetical mishap. Retinoblastoma. Both of Lindy Webster's girls have it and need treatment. They will be fine. The older girl will have just the one eye, but that's okay. Compared to other parents the Webster family is actually chill and will get through this. s13e5

Stefanie Baxter will be fine, too. More than that, probably, because her hip dysplasia is actually not that rare, the treatment is effective and she will have little long term problems. At first her mom Gillian was out of her depth, learning how to carry and care for a baby that needs to be in a harness and held in a certain way. Her husband Liam helps, as does Phyllis, who was the first to notice Stefanie's problem. Being carried in a baby wrap will help keep her legs in the right position and that is a really cosy way to take your newborn places or calm it down. s13e2

Of all the parents who are surprised by a baby with a disability, the Dellow family has the most happy outcome in my view. Blanche had planned to give her newborn to her childless sister, because her older children are already grown. When baby Robert arrives, he gets the diagnosis of Down's syndrome, and his aunt does not want to become his mother anymore. Blanche meanwhile calmly gets to know the little guy, is appaled by her sister's attitude and decides to keep him. Her husband initially finds it hard to deal with, but a conversation with Fred Buckle about Reggie changes his view. Violet even thanks Blanche for giving her the chance to glimpse a part of Reggie's past, because she never knew him as a baby. A couple of years later Robert is best friends with Reggie and they have the best time. 10e7

I'll close part 1 and wander on to write part 2 with the lovely line from Susan's second episode:

"Children must be loved. There is no rule in life so simple, or so true."

[nycky-b]

Beneath the Stars

Warnings: angst, enemies/rivals to lovers, slow burn, harry a bit sad, setted in the half-blood prince, no spoilers.

Paring: Harry Potter x reader

Wordcount: 2.376

A/N: it's almost Christmas!!!!! it's my favorite holiday and birthday of the most special person who came into this world! Merry Christmas, dear reader🤍

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Chapter 2

The fire crackled in the Weasleys' cozy living room as laughter echoed off the walls. The scent of mulled wine and roasted chestnuts filled the air, making the small Burrow feel like a sanctuary from the harsh winter outside. Christmas season was always a magical time, but this year, it felt... different.

The group had gathered around the hearth, the familiar faces of Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Ginny Weasley, and, of course, Harry Potter filling the room. You had joined them, as you often did these days. Your easy camaraderie with Hermione had been a natural bridge to getting to know the Weasleys better, and you had quickly become a fixture in their gatherings.

You had also become quite close to Ron over the past few months. Your shared competitive streak, particularly in wizard's chess, had turned into a mutual respect and friendship. Your sharp wit and quick thinking had made you a formidable opponent.

“Checkmate,” you said, your voice dripping with smug satisfaction as you slid your knight into position on the chessboard. Ron groaned dramatically, leaning back in his chair, his hand covering his face in mock despair.

“You’re impossible,” he muttered. “How do you even do that?”

You leaned back, folding your arms and giving him a playful smirk. “Simple. I’m better than you.”

Hermione, sitting nearby and reading a book, looked up with a grin. “Finally someone,” she whispered conspiratorially to you.

Ron let out an exaggerated sigh and rolled his eyes, but the corners of his mouth betrayed him with a crooked grin. Your laugh bubbled out, soft and unrestrained, a warm sense of belonging unfurling in your chest. You hadn’t expected to feel so at home here so quickly. The crackling fire in the hearth and the faint scent of cinnamon from the kitchen added to the cozy scene, wrapping you in comfort.

But your gaze drifted, drawn to Harry by the frost-rimmed window. He stood motionless, hands stuffed deep into his pockets, the soft glow of the snow outside reflecting off his glasses. His eyes, however, were fixed on some distant point, his brow creased as if the weight of the world pressed on him. A faint unease seemed to ripple in the air, his tension radiating off him.

You were about to comment on it when a voice broke through your thoughts.

“Oi, Harry,” Ron called, stretching out on the couch. “You good, mate?”

Harry startled slightly, then turned to face his best friend. “Yeah, just thinking.”

“You’ve been thinking all evening,” Ron teased, arching an eyebrow. “You know, you can talk to me about stuff. No need to hide it.”

Harry’s eyes flickered to you before quickly looking away. He shifted uncomfortably. “I’m fine.”

Ron didn’t look convinced, but before he could press further, Ginny walked over, her eyes lingering on Harry just a second too long. “What are you two talking about?”

Ron looked at Ginny with a knowing smirk. “Oh, just the usual. You know, Harry being all mysterious. Might be easier to crack than a tricky chess game.”

Ginny’s lips quirked upward. “Well, I’m sure he has his reasons.”

“I’m fine,” Harry said, his voice clipped, his gaze flicking to you for just a second before he quickly looked away. “Just need some air.”

And with that, he left the room, disappearing through the back door that led out into the snow-covered yard.

Your gaze lingered where he had been, and you weren’t someone to show concern over anyone—least of all Harry Potter with his annoying hero complex. But something about the way he had looked tonight, distant and tense, made you feel uneasy.

“Well, that was weird,” Ron muttered, mostly to himself.

Your decision was instinctive. “I’ll be back,” you murmured to Hermione, who barely noticed as she turned a page in her book.

With a quiet sigh, you left the warmth of the Burrow and stepped outside into the cold, your breath forming a mist in the crisp night air. The yard was quiet, save for the sound of the wind rustling through the trees and the soft crunch of snow underfoot. Harry stood near the edge of the garden, his hands shoved into his pockets, staring out at the starry sky as though searching for answers, perhaps, or just a moment of peace.

You approached cautiously, unsure of what exactly to say. Why were you even out here? You couldn’t stand his self-righteousness most days. Yet his quiet isolation tonight pulled you closer.

“Potter,” you called softly, your voice cutting through the silence.

Harry stiffened, not expecting you to be the one to find him. He turned, his expression unreadable. “What do you want?”

“I noticed you’ve been quiet tonight. That’s unusual for you.”

He looked at you, and for a moment, weighed whether your words were an observation or an accusation. He sighed, adjusting his glasses. “I’m fine,” he said flatly. “Just—just had a lot on my mind.”

You stood there, studying him, trying to ignore the strange concern bubbling in your chest. “If you need to talk—” you began, only to cut yourself off. Why were you offering? You weren’t exactly known for your empathy.

Harry let out a soft laugh, though it lacked humor. “Yeah, sure. That’s what everyone says.” His eyes flickered briefly to your face, an unreadable expression flashing in his eyes before he looked away. “But there’s nothing to talk about.”

You could see he was closing himself off, as he always did when something bothered him too much. The deflection irritated you more than it should have. You crossed your arms, your tone sharpening. “You don’t have to pretend with me, you know.”

Harry turned to you fully now, his frustration simmering just beneath the surface, the tension still palpable in his posture. “Why do you care, Y/N? Since when do you care?”

You almost flinched at the harshness of his words, but you stood your ground, crossing your arms. “I don’t,” you admitted, voice quieter now. “Maybe I don’t. But something’s off with you, and it’s... noticeable.”

“Noticed by who?” Harry shot back, his voice edged with bitterness. “You? Or is everyone waiting for me to crack?”

Your chest tightened at the weight behind his words. You took a step closer, your voice softening despite yourself. “You don’t have to carry it all alone, Harry.”

For a moment, he didn’t respond. He just looked at you, the guarded walls he always kept up wavering slightly. “Sometimes,” he said finally, his voice low, “it feels like I’m not really here. Like I’m just... waiting. For the next battle. The next loss.”

You blinked, the weight of his words hitting you harder than you expected. You wanted to say something—anything—to break the weight of his confession, but no words came. Instead, you simply stood there, feeling a strange kinship with his solitude.

“I get it,” you said after a long pause. “More than you’d think.”

Harry’s gaze met yours, and for the briefest of moments, the tension between you softened—and it made your heart beat faster, your mind racing. But before you could say anything else, a voice broke the tension.

“Harry? Y/N?”

It was Ginny, standing at the door, her eyes flickering between the two of you. You felt an unexpected pang of guilt, though you couldn’t understand why.

Harry’s expression shifted immediately, and he straightened, wiping away whatever emotion had been there. “I’m fine,” he said quickly, his tone reverting to its usual guarded self. “Just needed some air.”

Ginny nodded, her gaze lingering for a moment on you before turning back to Harry. “Dinner’s almost ready. You coming in?”

Harry gave a curt nod, his posture stiff. “Yeah. Thanks.”

You stayed rooted in place, your arms crossed tightly as you watched him disappear into the warmth of the Burrow.

Alone now, you exhaled slowly, your breath misting in the cold air. You couldn’t explain why you’d followed him out here, why you’d felt compelled to stay. You only knew one thing: whatever had passed between you two tonight wasn’t over—not by a long shot.

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The warmth of the Burrow wrapped around you as you walked back into the living room. The familiar sounds of your friends filled the space—Ron laughing about whatever Fred had said, Hermione flipping through pages of a book, and Ginny’s voice cutting through the chatter as she spoke to Harry.

But your mind wasn’t on any of them. It was on what had just happened outside. The way Harry’s voice had softened, the way his eyes had met yours when you’d said what almost felt like a confession.

You could still feel the flutter in your chest from the moment he had looked at you, like there was something unspoken between you.

But you weren’t going to entertain that thought. Not now. Not when there were more important things to focus on. You had friends here, real friends. You should be concentrating on that, not on whatever strange interaction you had just shared with Harry.

“Oi, Y/N! You coming?” Ron’s voice pulled you back to the present. He was holding out a snowball, having apparently started another fight with Fred and George.

You forced a smile. “Yeah, yeah, just got lost in thought for a moment.”

You joined the rest of the group, doing your best to push away the nagging thoughts of Harry. Yet even as you laughed with your friends, you couldn’t help noticing how Ginny had been watching Harry. The way her eyes lingered on him whenever he was near, the way her voice took on that certain tone when she addressed him.

“Oi, are you coming or not?” Ron repeated, pulling you back into the present.

“Coming, coming!” you said, but your thoughts were still on Harry.

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Harry wasn’t sure what had happened outside. All he knew was that he had felt a sensation—one he hadn’t expected. When you had approached him, he’d been in his usual place, alone with his thoughts. He wasn’t really thinking about much, except how overwhelmed he felt.

It had been an odd moment, to say the least. He wasn’t used to people seeing through him like that, especially not someone like you, who usually seemed so indifferent to everything. But when you asked if he was okay, he cracked open. It was easier to push it down, to bury it, but in that moment, he had wanted to tell you everything—the burden of everything that had been weighing on him.

And the way you had spoken to him, the way your eyes had softened for a moment... It stirred an emotion he wasn’t ready to face. Your words had lingered in his mind, even after he left.

He felt guilty, even though he didn’t know the reason. The way you had looked at him, despite everything between you and your misunderstandings, made him question thoughts he had never allowed himself to entertain. You had always been against each other—always at odds with one another. But now, he wasn’t so sure.

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Dinner at the Burrow passed in a blur. You tried your best to enjoy the evening, to focus on Mr. Weasley talks about the Muggle objects he admires, Hermione correcting Ron, the teasing of the twins, and the light-hearted chatter that filled the room. But you couldn’t ignore the nagging thoughts that still lingered inside you.

You knew Harry had his difficulties. Everyone did. He was the Boy Who Lived, the Chosen One, the hero who had faced more danger than most people could even imagine. Now, it strucked you differently. The fame, the titles, all the things you had resented about him—they weren’t privileges. They were weights pulling him down, burdens he couldn’t escape.

You had spent so much time throwing it in his face. His fame. His hero complex. The way people adored him, followed him, and trusted him to save them. It had been so easy to hate him for it, to see him as someone who basked in the attention. But now, all you could think about was how tired he had looked outside, like the weight of it all might crush him at any moment.

You glanced over at him and couldn’t help but notice the way Ginny had been looking at him. It was obvious—Ginny liked him. It was clear in every glance, every smile, and every little comment she made when Harry was around.

You weren’t sure why, but a knot twisted uncomfortably in your chest at the thought. You weren’t sure why, but it hurt—this tight, uncomfortable feeling. You had no claim on Harry. You never had, and you certainly weren’t about to start pretending you did. Still, seeing Ginny’s hopeful gaze whenever Harry was near stirred a strange feeling.

“Oi, look what we have here!” Fred’s voice cut through your thoughts, and you turned to see him and George enter the room, grinning widely. They were carrying a large bundle of their latest creations from their joke shop.

Fred grinned at you. “I think you’ll appreciate these, Y/N. Some of our finest work!”

You couldn’t help but smile at the twins’ antics. You always felt comfortable with them, their humor infectious and their endless supply of pranks making everything a bit lighter. “What have you got this time?” you asked, curious.

George winked, his usual mischievous grin spreading across his face. “You’ll see. We’ve been working on some new... er, enhancements for the holiday season.”

You leaned back slightly, crossing your arms as the twins set down a large bag that jingled with the unmistakable sound of something inside. “What’s in here? Another set of Skiving Snackboxes?”

Fred laughed. “No, no, something much better.” he leaned in, lowering his voice for dramatic effect. “This time, it’s all about holiday cheer—we’re talking about the best prank gifts for anyone on your list.” He pulled out a small jar with a label that read: Instant Laughter Potion.

“Just add a drop to any drink, and you’ll have them laughing for hours,” George said. “Works like a charm.”

“You two are unbelievable. I can’t wait to see what else you’ve got in store.”

As Fred and George continued their antics, your thoughts finally drifted from Harry.