#special agent hagen

[we-have-a-flying-sword]

Special Agent Hagen and Special Agent Thomas

[aknolan]

In Leverage Redemption when Parker pretends to be FBI she doesn't use the agent Hagen alias anymore. Now this could have a simple explanation like the alias being blown and no longer useful. However there is an infinitely funnier option.

Agent Hagen is a legitimate FBI agent now, and therefore cannot be part of any illegal business.

I mean, look, it's been eight years and over the course of the original show agent Hagen was pretty good at her job! At some point McSweeten either found out agent Hagen wasn't really an agent and made some corrections or someone working administration found out agent Hagen wasn't getting a paycheck and fixed that problem.

I'm particularly fond of the idea that McSweeten knows that Parker, legendary thief, is agent Hagen but also figures she's helped out so much that he might as well give her a job. Maybe some sort of special investigator position where no one will question that agent Hagen never shows up at the office. Sometimes he finds out about fake FBI agents from the other leverage crews and just... adds them to Hagen's team.

(And of course, all of this applies to Hardison's FBI alias too.)

[trekscribbles]

The Bushwhack Job: Chapter Four

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three

(Disclaimer: This is a relatively rough draft and subject to change when I post to AO3. I'm just overly excited and want to share what I have.)

Three bodies had been recovered from the destroyed LanCast building.

It took several hours to discover that much. Nate had insisted they leave the hotel as Eliot instructed, falling back on one of the contingency plans the two of them probably talked about when they were alone in the bar. Parker didn’t ask. She didn’t want to think about worst-case scenarios.

Once secured in a new hotel across town, Hardison had done whatever he usually did to get their information, and came up with a police report of the accident.

Three bodies. No identification. Awaiting coroner’s report.

They took the news in silence. They climbed into Lucille in silence, they drove to the morgue in silence, and they entered the cold building in silence. Hardison and Parker donned their FBI disguises, with Nate and Sophie wearing the appropriately stricken expressions of worried loved ones. It was late, but the badges got them in, and an assistant met them at the door and led them to the lab where the autopsies were being performed.

“Special Agent Thomas,” Hardison said, flashing his badge to the medical examiner. “This is Special Agent Hagen. We’re invistigating the incident at the LanCast building.”

The medical examiner, whose nametag identified her as “Dr. M. Morton”, glanced at Nate and Sophie. “We haven’t been able to identify the victims yet. Are you hoping to find someone? I can only speak with immediate family.”

“Our son,” Sophie said in an unsteady voice. “He may have been inside the building when it—when it…”

Nate put a hand on her arm, and Hardison cleared his throat to bring the doctor’s attention back to him. 

“What can you tell us about the victims?”

“Not much, I’m afraid.” She gestured at the three bodies, which her assistant had hastily covered in white cloths. “The remains were badly damaged by the fire. They were all male, all aged late-twenties to mid-thirties.”

“Anything else?” Parker asked, her stomach dropping. “Height? Clothes? Anything they may have had on them?”

“These two are around 6’2”, 6’3”. This one is shorter, maybe 5’7”.” Dr. Morton indicated the body in the middle and frowned when Sophie gave a little gasp of dismay. “I’m sorry,” she said. “Does that match the description of your son?”

Sophie nodded, pale-faced and trembling.

Dr. Morton gave her a sympathetic look and lifted an evidence bag from the tray at the body’s feet. “We found this on him,” she said, holding it out to Sophie. “Do you recognize it?”

They all leaned in, and Parker felt the heat leave her body in a rush.

Eliot’s necklace.

Sophie’s knees gave out. Nate caught her as she fell, but she sank to the ground with her face in her hands, shaking. “It’s him,” she sobbed, her voice muffled. “He’s ours. It’s Eliot.”

A strange, distant buzzing sound filled Parker’s ears, and for a moment, it was all she could hear. Hardison spoke beside her, and Sophie went on crying, but the words were lost to the static hum inside her head. The doctor asked them something, and Nate stared straight through her as if she didn’t exist. He wasn’t old enough to be Eliot’s dad, but suddenly he looked it.

They can’t handle it, said a cold, detached voice in her brain. They’re falling apart. Who’s going to hold them together?

Eliot. But Eliot was gone, and Eliot couldn’t be gone, and it didn’t matter whether he was gone or not, because he wasn’t here.

Parker was.

She blinked, and all the noise slammed back into her, and her brain caught up to what Dr. Morton was saying.

“—so sorry I have to ask, but it would help if we could get a DNA sample to verify his identity.”

“Yes,” Parker said. “A DNA sample. I’ll just—this is a shock for them. I’m going to take them out and give them a moment.”

Dr. Morton nodded. “Of course. Take all the time you need.”

Parker glanced at Hardison, who was blinking at the body under the sheet, his eyes wide and wet. She put her hand on his shoulder to turn him away. “Sir,” she said to Nate. “Ma’am. Let’s go. We can talk outside.”

Nate looked at her, but there was a strange emptiness in his eyes that made her feel tiny and hopeless. “Sir,” she repeated. “Please come with me.”

“Sophie,” he murmured, breaking eye contact with Parker to crouch at Sophie’s side. “Come on, honey. Stand up.”

“I don’t want to leave him,” Sophie said, her voice thick and broken. “Please, he can’t stay here, not with these men. Please, can’t we—?”

Parker took Sophie’s elbow and pulled her gently to her feet, guiding her toward the door. Nate and Hardison followed, but Parker didn’t look back. She had to get them out. 

Eliot would get them out.

She brought them to the van, and took the driver’s seat after getting them safely inside. Hardison was crying now, too, but Nate sat in absolute, unmoving silence. She drove to the hotel, parked, waited for someone to open the door.

No one did.

“We don’t know,” Hardison said after a few minutes. His face was dry, but his voice still sounded uneven. “He could have lost the necklace. It doesn’t prove anything.”

Sophie shook her head, but had to try twice before she could get her words out. “He would have called. He would have found us if he wasn’t…”

Dead. The word slammed itself against the inside of Parker’s skull, over and over again like a security alarm she hadn’t accounted for.

Dead, dead, dead.

Adapt to the situation, the voice in her head said. First things first. Take care of your team.

She opened her door. Hardison followed her, helping Sophie from the back, but Nate stayed where we was in the passenger seat. Parker moved around the van to open his door, but he didn’t look at her.

“Go inside,” she said, her voice low and steady. “We’re not done.”

“It doesn’t matter,” he said.

“Lancaster knew about us,” she said. “He set a trap for Eliot and me. We have to finish this, or he’ll keep coming after us. After Hardison and Sophie.”

He looked up then, his eyes still hollow, his hands loose in his lap.

“This is what Eliot would do,” Parker said.

Nate lifted one hand and set it over his face. He took a breath, two, and exhaled so heavily that his shoulders shook.

“What would Eliot say if it was one of us?” he asked.

Parker shook her head. “It wouldn’t have been anyone else.”

“What does it say about me that I couldn’t stop this?” Nate asked, and Parker heard the unspoken again in the way his voice hitched at the end.

“I don’t know,” Parker whispered. “But we need you. Lancaster is going to try again, and we need you.”

Nate nodded, dropping his hand once more. He stood unsteadily and followed the others across the parking lot toward the door.

Parker watched them go, slipping her hand into her pocket to remove the evidence bag she’d taken when Dr. Morton's back was turned. She opened it, picked out the necklace, and clasped it around her neck, tucking the cold metal charm under her shirt so it laid flat against her skin.

Then she followed what was left of her team inside the hotel.

[docgold13]

Batman: The Animated Series - Paper Cut-Out Portraits and Profiles

Stella Bates

Doctor Stella Bates worked as a medical consultant on Dark Interlude, a romantic film starring the acclaimed actor, Matt Hagen.  Bates was infatuated with Hagan and when she later learned how Hagan had been transformed into Clayface, Bates dedicated herself to finding a cure.  

At the time, Hagan was having an increasingly more difficult time maintaining his physical consistency.  Keeping a humanoid form was requiring great concentration and he was slowly losing the capacity to maintain physical integrity.  Bates utilized a specialized bonding agent that encapsulated Hagen in a human-shaped plastic coating that kept his body from melting away.  This worked in the short term but only lasted a while before the shell began to break down.  

Hagan could see that Bates was in love with him and he appreciated that she was his one hope of staying alive.  Although he became quite angry when he found Bates watching his old movies on television.  Perhaps he felt that she only loved her idealized notion of who he was and could not fully accept what it was that he had become.  

Dr. Bates became convinced that the experimental isotope known as MP-40 could stabilize Hagan’s form and enable him to maintain a human physical appearance whist still possessing his shapeshifting powers.  Clayface ransacked a Wayne Industries facility to steal the special isotope.  This enabled Batman to follow Clayface back to Bates’ laboratory.

Bates’ treatment with the isotope might have proven effective, but the process was interrupted when Batman appeared and an enraged Clayface attacked him.  Their battled spilled out into the open where the driving rain weakened Claface’s form.  The villain ended up falling off a cliff into the ocean.  He appeared to perish as the seawater seemed to completely dilute and dissipate his form.  What ultimately became of the heartbroken Dr. Bates remains unknown.  

Actress Pat Musick provided the voice for Stella Bates with the character appearing in the sixty-third episode of the first season of Batman: The Animated Series, ‘Mudslide.’   

[gallaghergirl97]

So now that we have a confirmed White Collar reboot… and we currently have Leverage Redemption…. We need an official crossover!! And I can already see how it’s going to go:

Naturally, notorious art thief Neal Caffrey and THE Parker have, of course, crossed paths before, at least once. So, when the leverage crew needs to send Parker into the FBI offices as Special Agent Hagen for the job for their latest client, and she runs into Neal…. Oh boy! Chaos ensues!

Will Neal keep quiet about recognizing Parker? Will Neal be able to resist getting involved in the delicious con that Leverage is conducting? Will he and the leverage team work together to help their client and/or solve the case Neal is working on with Peter? Or will Parker and Hardison both end up needing to retire their FBI aliases for good because Peter is just that damn observant and good of an FBI agent?

Ohhhh it would be amazing if they explored this concept!! And if the writers of either show don’t… I might just have to do it myself!

[ncisfranchise-source]

All I ever wanted was cake.

Over the past 20-plus years, CBS’ NCIS has blown through many a milestone — 100 episodes! 200 episodes! 300! 400! — and usually with party that served a Cake Shaped Like a Number.

Each and every time, the running joke went, I would nag the show’s publicity team about my never getting a slice, despite my ongoing coverage of TV’s most-watched franchise — all while of course knowing that my being based out of the East Coast, 3,000 miles away from NCIS’ Santa Clarita nerve center, was a stumbling block.

But when CBS and CBS Studios officially celebrated the start of filming of the franchise’s 1,000th episode, which airs this Monday at 9/8c, I am happy to report that I finally got my piece of a Cake Shaped Like a Number.

Plus a walk-on role, as icing on said cake….

Photo : Robert Voets/CBS

I have no lines in the episode “A Thousand Yards.” And if you blink when Gary Cole and Spencer Moore II step off the elevator into the squad room, midway through the episode, you will miss me. But it is me, Mom, playing Federal Agent Intently Walking a Very Important Folder Across the Room.

While not as splashy a role as, say, Body of Proof gravedigger, playing Special Agent Key — the name that I and only I gave him (as in kilo/1,000) — required some prep and grooming. Shortly after arriving at set, I was whisked away to Vicky Stevens in wardrobe, who handed me a very federal agent-y grey suit, complete with well-worn wingtips that I can most charitably describe as “government-issue.” (I guess Uncle Sam frowns on Bruno Magli.)

Upon fully “suiting up” back at wardrobe, I bumped into and chatted up Bones vet T.J. Hynes, who was guest-starring in the episode as a tech titan. (Scoop!) By keeping my eyes and ears open, I would also glean that Daniela Ruah and Vanessa Lachey would appear in this milestone episode, as NCIS: LA’s Kensi and NCIS: Hawai’i’s Jane. (More scoop!) I also spent a minute hanging out with Christopher Waild, who wrote the episode and teased some of the Easter eggs he’d scattered throughout. (More scoop!)

Shh, don't tell McGee I sat at his desk.

Photo : Matt Mitovich

Easy enough, yes. But I assure you that the first thought that enters your head — especially if you learned anything from Smash‘s Karen — is: Gosh, I hope I don’t pull focus from Gary Cole! So at first I went with a thousand-yard stare, which given the episode’s title seemed fitting. But after the first take, I started doing some “character work” and asked myself: Why is Agent Key approaching this female agent as a stranger, when they’ve quite possibly been working together for years? So for the next couple of tales, I adjusted my gaze from being “detached” to one of familiarity. (I shared my “process” with Patricia Flores, the background actor who played the recipient of my folder, and she was, I want to say, amused.)

Plot twist! Just when I thought I had my performance nailed, Jeb came up to me with new direction from the milestone episode’s director, Diana Valentine: “Can you walk faster? Double-time it?”

I gotta say, this threw me a bit, especially since I hadn’t done any stretching — plus my government shoes were a bit slippery — but I channeled everything that Strasberg, Hagen, Meisner et al had taught me and amazingly didn’t end up accidentally shoulder-checking Gary Cole a single time. 

Scott Williams, Gary Cole, Katrina Law, Rocky Carroll, Sean Murray, Brian Dietzen, Amy Reisenbach, Wilmer Valderrama, George Cheeks, Diona Reasonover, David Stapf, Chris O’Donnell, David J. North, Christopher Silber, Steven Binder, Charles Johnson, Christopher J. Waild and Mark Horowitz

Photo : Courtesy of Robert Voets/CBS

Once the scene was filmed to Diana Valentine’s satisfaction, I changed back into my Matt Mitovich wardrobe while the squad room set was modified into serving as an event space, where dozens upon dozens would soon assemble for the official “1,000th episode” ceremony.

NCIS co-showrunners Steven D. Binder and David North were joined by their entire cast as well as visiting NCIS: LA alum Chris O’Donnell and — appearing via Zoom — onetime NCIS: New Orleans front man Scott Bakula (in New York for the Broadway musical The Connector), the NCIS: Hawai’i cast (congregated in their own HQ) and co-showrunner Jan Nash, and NCIS: Sydney leads Olivia Swann and Todd Lasance.

Following several laudatory speeches and (many) permutations of group photos taken with The Cake Shaped Like a Number, the actors and NCIS showrunners chatted with me and a select few peers on a short press line.

Cole’s first words to me were kudos for my performance (ha!), after which I asked/begged the showrunners not to cut me from the episode. Brian Dietzen and I had a nice moment, having Zoomed/both gotten emotional just days earlier about the David McCallum tribute episode he’d penned; Diana Reasonover absolutely crushed the NCIS trivia quiz I was running by everyone (alas, that video ran into a snafu), whereas Wilmer Valderrama… didn’t; Sean Murray (now the longest-running cast member) gave some great teases; and you don’t need me to tell you it’s always great to see the effervescent Katrina Law in person.

Once the press line wrapped, I sat with Rocky Carroll at lunch, then dove into my slice of NCIS cake that had been 1.5 decades in the making.

SPOILER ALERT! The Cake Shaped Like a Number? Turns out it is usually just a frosted foam prop used for the photo op, while the actual slices served to everyone come from a regular ol’ cake.

Even so, my experience as Agent Key was a sweet one, indeed.

[mygogglesdosomething]

I want FBI Director McSweeten who has totally figured out that Hagen and Thomas are not real FBI agents but they keep leaving him gifts of tied up criminals and are honestly more useful than some of his real agents to order US Marshall Maria Shipp to work with Agent Hagen on a special secret mission and have her head explode

I’m not sure what I want more

mcsweeten being in leverage redemption and still having not a clue that parker and hardison are, in fact, not federal agents and are actually world-class criminals

or at some point between the finale and now he did find out, and then some government official gets wind of one of their heists and is jabbing their finger at a blurry image of parker and hardison mid-thievery and with a completely straight face, mcsweeten explains that guys, those are agents hagen and thomas and they are working on an undercover op and were in no way at all involved of what is inconveniencing the government now

and the government official keeps trying to explain they are criminals but mcsweeten just pulls up their dossiers and credentials and he can literally see the vein throbbing in the man’s forehead but he just smiles says that he has personally worked with agent hagen and would trust her with his life

[cassercole]

[extreme parker as special agent hagen voice]: do you have any snacks?

[tired-fandom-ndn]

I think Parker is so used to being constantly rejected by "normal" people for just existing as herself, not even for her criminal habits but just for being Parker, that she's resigned herself to never being able to form meaningful relationships. Even after joining the crew and starting her relationship with Hardison and Eliot, she thinks it only works because the others are just as "broken" as she is.

And then this completely normal guy comes into her life completely incidentally and sure, she's grifting him a bit but that isn't her strong suit and the only real difference between Parker and Special Agent Hagen is a uniform and a badge, her personality is the same and he still likes her.

It's nice, to not be looked at like a freak or a monster. McSweeten doesn't always understand, but no one does really and at least he tries.

I think McSweeten/Parker is actually so cute, but especially with Parker tentatively enjoying being cared about for herself by someone "normal" and McSweeten tentatively embracing who she actually is and getting to know both Parker the thief and his new metamours.

[we-have-a-flying-sword]

fanart master list

leverage:

the team's driving skills doodles

pretzels (Parker/Hardison sketch)

Special agents Hagen and Thomas (Parker and Hardison)

Forever (abc):

Henry angrily sipping tea

Henry Morgan portrait

Henry and Abigail

Hornblower:

Hornblower and Archie

[incorrect-nxx]

aaron: so, what are your powers?

artem : i am the law

luke: i'm a special agent with superhuman reflexes

marius: i am marius von hagen

rosa: i can make good life decisions

aaron: that’s not a-

artem: no, trust us, she’s our most important member

[samsspambox]

dumb shit i call the themis bois bc my brain to mouth circuit is crossed and sometimes won't work

artem: arty, artemis wing, artem motherfucking wing, art, artem "you really need a middle name" wing, sir artem wing

luke: lucas, luke, lukey, luke warm man, special agent lucas pearce, raven from teen titans, sherlock pearce

vyn: vynny (hit him with the sticky hand), mr red flag, dr. vyn, professor, mr. vyn (bc that would get on his nerves) nurufufufu man

marius: brat brat bRAT!, von HAGEN!, *general ambiguous screaming*, Z knockoff, sleepy boi, handy man, and bRAT

[actualbird]

the funniest thing to me about Dunk on Luke Hour of 4-04 is that artem is the one who starts it seemingly unprompted and everyone just follows suit -Marsh

// lost gold spoilers, main story 04-04

HI, MARSH :DDDDD

and kjbdfKJBJBK YEAH LMAOOOOOO. from the dialog, artem seemed to not mean it as a jab, he was just like "ah okay it is the time in the conversation to cut in with the information i have memorized because my memory is good" and he knows this factually and not in a bragging kind of way, i feel. and luke is jus a little baby once in a blue moon sometimes when he isnt the coolest in the room

but once somebody starts, whether intentionally or not, the rest must follow.

MARIUS AND VYN....good god, these two are too much.

marius immediately on the fucking offensive lol. but also like, luke, u HAVE ripped into marius SEVERAL TIMES IN THE PAST so it's only fair that marius gets to have a turn at you. i love how marius' jab is a jab specifically at luke's previous jabs where luke is like "u dont know shit haha u could do better :D" and MARIUS VON HAGEN TOOK THAT PERSONALLY. fuckin self satisfied smirk along with "hey super special agent genius, i do know my stuff as well, isnt that surprising :)." and luke out here CLENCHING HIS FIST, PISSED OFF

vyn is the funniest to me tho bc when HE does the "im smart" move, luke doesnt react with the same pissed off he did with marius. he reacts with the "okay fine :/" he did with artem. does....does luke pearce have an odd misplaced sense of respect for those older than him??? IS THAT WHATS HAPPENING HERE, LOL??

luke only goes DEAD EYED GLARE when vyn turns his "i know something" into "i know MORE actually than MR. ARTEM WING OVER HERE which is VERY IMPRESSIVE because I AM YOUNGER yet have MORE DOCTORATES." and artem is like ".....UNPROVOKED?????"

it's only then that luke looks like hes about to stab everybody in the room. everybody but mc of course, girl, ur a delight, and we're all happy youre here <3

[kwebtv]

White Collar  -  USA  -  October 23, 2009  -  December 18, 2014

Drama (81 episodes)

Running Time:  60 minutes

Stars:

Matt Bomer as Neal Caffrey

Tim DeKay as Special Agent in Charge Peter Burke

Willie Garson as Mozzie  (Theodore Winters)

Tiffani Thiessen as Elizabeth Burke

Marsha Thomason as Special Agent Diana Berrigan (recurring, season 1; main cast, seasons 2–6)

Sharif Atkins as Special Agent Clinton Jones (recurring, seasons 1–3; main cast, seasons 4–6)

Hilarie Burton as Sara Ellis (recurring, seasons 2 and 4; main cast, season 3)

Natalie Morales as Special Agent Lauren Cruz (season 1)

Recurring characters:

Diahann Carroll as June Ellington:

James Rebhorn as Special Agent Reese Hughes

Bridget Regan as Rachel Turner/Rebecca Lowe

Gloria Votsis as Alexandra Hunter

Ross McCall as Matthew Keller

Alexandra Daddario as Kate Moreau

Treat Williams as James Bennett/Samuel "Sam" Phelps

Mark Sheppard as Curtis Hagen

Judith Ivey as Ellen Parker/Kathryn Hil

Noah Emmerich as Special Agent Garrett Fowler

Beau Bridges as Agent Phillip Kramer

Moran Atias as Christie

Andrew McCarthy as Vincent Adler

Emily Procter as Assistant Special Agent (in charge) Amanda Callaway

Titus Welliver as Senator Terrance Pratt

Denise Vasi as Cindy

[moosterrecords]

  MVD Rewind Collection Continues Its Celebration of Video Store Culture 

With Five New Cult Classics on Blu-ray and DVD

Action U.S.A. (1989), Drive (1997), Mortuary (1983), The House On Sorority Row (1982), and The Go-Go Boys: The Inside Story Of Cannon Films (2014)

Pottstown, PA – March 8, 2021 – MVD Entertainment Group is proud to announce the addition of five classic films to the MVD Rewind Collection. 

  Video stores may be a thing of the past but MVD Entertainment group is keeping the memories alive with the addition of five new releases on Blu-ray and DVD to its “MVD Rewind Collection” including Action U.S.A. (1989), Drive (1997), Mortuary (1983), The House On Sorority Row (1982), and making its North American debut, The Go-Go Boys: The Inside Story Of Cannon Films (2014) label in special collectors editions loaded with extras.

ACTION U.S.A. – Synopsis: After her boyfriend is murdered by the gangsters whose diamonds he stole, a girl is protected by two FBI agents who plan to keep her from sharing the same fate.

  “Are you ready for some utterly bonkers '80s action-mayhem?” (Entertainment Weekly)

  Originally released on VHS by Imperial Entertainment in 1989, MVD Rewind Collection brings this fun, over-the-top cult classic action film to disc in conjunction with Verdugo Entertainment. This Special Edition release is packed with bonus material and comes housed in a Limited Edition (first pressing only) slipcover that celebrates the rental packaging of legendary video store chain “Erol’s Video” (1980 – 1990). “Action U.S.A.” stars Gregory Scott Cummins (“It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”, Cliffhanger), Ross Hagen (Armed Response), Cameron Mitchell (How to Marry a Millionaire) and Barri Murphy (Armed for Action). Blu-ray bonus material includes:

Audio Commentary with Director John Stewart, star Gregory Scott Cummins and cinematographer Thomas Callaway moderated by filmmaker Steve Latshaw

Interview with Director John Stewart

Action U.S.A. Behind the Scenes - Stunts Featurette (MVD EXCLUSIVE)

Theatrical Trailer

Collectible Mini-Poster

Reversible artwork

Limited Edition “Erol’s Video” Retro Slip Cover – FIRST PRESSING ONLY

  “Action U.S.A.” will also be released on a standard edition DVD.

  *Blu-ray Street Date: May 11, 2021

  #27 / BLU-RAY SKU: MVD4530BR / UPC: 760137453086 / $24.95 SRP / 89 min / Language: English / Subtitles: English / Aspect Ratio: 1.78:1 / Year: 1989 / Audio: DTS-HD 5.1 Surround Sound / MPA Rating: Not Rated

  DVD SKU: MVD4531D / UPC: 760137453192 / $19.95 SRP / *DVD Street Date: April 13, 2021

DRIVE – Synopsis: A prototype enhanced human from Hong Kong enlists help from a hostage and a free-spirited woman to evade killers-for-hire in a race against time in order to get from San Francisco to Los Angeles.

  Originally released in 1997 from A-Pix Entertainment, Drive makes its debut on Blu-ray with a brand new 4K HD scan of the original camera negative of the Extended Director’s Cut of the movie. Featuring an all-star cast that includes Mark Dacascos (John Wick 3: Parabellum), Kadeem Hardison (White Men Can't Jump), Brittany Murphy (Clueless), Sanaa Lathan (Alien vs Predator), Tracey Walter (Repo Man) and Ron Yuan (Mulan), “Drive” Blu-ray is packed with bonus material that includes:

Audio commentary by director Steve Wang, fight choreographer Koichi Sakamoto and stars Mark Dacascos and Kadeem Hardison

“Drive: The Force Behind The Storm" documentary

Six Deleted Scenes 

Interview gallery with cast, director and crew including stars Mark Dacascos and Kadeem Hardison, director Steve Wang, Second Unit Director Wyatt Weed and Stunt Coordinator Koichi Sakamoto

TWO versions of the film: Both the Director’s Cut + Original Theatrical Version

Original Theatrical Trailer

Reversible artwork

Collectible Mini-Poster

Limited Edition Retro Slip Cover – FIRST PRESSING ONLY

  “Drive: Director’s Cut” will also be released on a standard edition DVD.

  Street Date: May 11, 2021

  #26 / BLU-RAY SKU: MVD3390BR / UPC: 760137339083 / $39.95 SRP / RT: 112 min / 99 min

Language: English / Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1 (Director’s Cut) & 1.78:1 (Theatrical Version) / Year: 1997 / Audio: 2.0 Stereo (LPCM), 5.1 Dolby Digital Surround / MPA Rating: Not Rated (Director’s Cut) & R (Theatrical Version)

  DVD SKU: MVD3389D / UPC: 760137338994 / $19.95 SRP

  MORTUARY (1983) – Synopsis: Convinced that her father's death was not accidental, Christie Parson decides to investigate to find out the truth. Her sleuthing draws her to a local mortuary, where deadly secrets will be revealed.

  Originally released on VHS from Vestron Video in 1984, “Mortuary” returns to Blu-ray and DVD from MVD Rewind Collection and features a great cast that includes Lynda Day George (TV’s “Mission Impossible”) in her final film role, Christopher George (Pieces), Bill Paxton (Aliens), Mary McDonough (“The Waltons”) and David Wallace (Humongous). The Special Edition Blu-ray features bonus material courtesy of Scorpion Releasing and includes:

Interview with Composer John Cacavas

Original Theatrical Trailer

Collectible Mini-Poster

Limited Edition Retro Slip Cover – FIRST PRESSING ONLY

  “Mortuary” will also be released on a standard edition DVD.

  Street Date: July 6, 2021

  #28 / BLU-RAY SKU: MVD4907BR / UPC: 760137490784 / $29.95 SRP / 93 min / Language: English / Subtitles: English / Aspect Ratio: 1.78:1 / Year: 1983 / Audio: LPCM 2.0 Mono / MPA Rating: R

  DVD SKU: MVD4911D / UPC /Barcode: 760137491194 / $19.95 SRP

  THE HOUSE ON SORORITY ROW – Synopsis: After a seemingly innocent prank goes horribly wrong, a group of sorority sisters are stalked and murdered one by one in their sorority house while throwing a party to celebrate their graduation.

  Originally released on VHS from Vestron Video in 1983, “The House on Sorority Row” returns to Blu-ray and DVD from MVD Rewind Collection and stars Kathryn McNeil (Sudden Death), Eileen Davidson (“Days of Our Lives”), Harley Jane Kozak (Arachnophobia) and Jean Schertler (Runaway Bride). The Special Edition Blu-ray features bonus material courtesy of Scorpion Releasing and includes:

High Definition (1080p) presentation of the main feature in 1.78:1 aspect ratio with LPCM 2.0 Stereo and alternate version of the film with director approved pre-credit sequence with mono audio

Audio Commentary with director Mark Rosman

Audio commentary with director Mark Rosman and stars Eileen Davidson and Kathryn McNeil

Interviews with cast and crew including: Director Mark Rosman, stars Harley Jane Kozak, Eileen Davidson and Kathryn McNeil, Composer Richard Band and Producer Igo Kantor

Original Pre-Credit Sequence

Alternate ending storyboards 

TV Spots

Theatrical Trailer

Reversible Artwork

Collectible Mini-Poster

Limited Edition Retro Slip Cover – FIRST PRESSING ONLY

  “The House on Sorority Row” will also be released on a standard edition DVD.

  Street Date: July 6, 2021

  #29 / BLU-RAY SKU: MVD4904BR / UPC: 760137490487 / $29.95 SRP / 91 min / Language: English / Subtitles: English / Aspect Ratio: 1.78:1 / Year: 1982 / Audio: LPCM 2.0 Stereo / MPA Rating: R

  DVD SKU: MVD4906D / UPC: 760137490692 / $19.95 SRP

  THE GO-GO BOYS: THE INSIDE STORY OF CANNON FILMS – Synopsis: In the definitive documentary about Cannon films, Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus, two Israeli-born cousins, who in pursuit of the American Dream, turned the Hollywood power structure upside down, producing over 300 films and becoming the most powerful independent film company in the world. Directed by Sundance Grand Jury Prize nominee Hilla Medalia (After the Storm), The Go-Go Boys is an up close and personal documentary that examines the complex relationship between two contradictory personalities whose combined force fueled their success and eventual collapse.

  “The Go-Go Boys” features interviews with Jean-Claude Van Damme, Michael Dudikoff, Eli Roth, Boaz Davidson and more, along with Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus themselves, as well as archive footage of Sylvester Stallone, Charles Bronson and Chuck Norris in the definitive documentary about Cannon Films. Blu-ray special features include:

Original Theatrical Trailer

Reversible Artwork

Collectible Mini-Poster

Limited Edition Slip Cover – FIRST PRESSING ONLY

  “The Go-Go Boys: The Inside Story of Cannon Films” will also be released on a standard edition DVD.

  Street Date: July 20, 2021

  BLU-RAY SKU: MVD4738BR / UPC: 7601377473886 / $19.95 SRP / 89 min / Language: English / Subtitles: English / Aspect Ratio: 1.78:1 / Year: 2014 / Audio: LPCM 2.0 Stereo / MPA Rating: NR

  DVD SKU: MVD4737D / UPC: 760137473794 / $19.95 SRP

  Eric D. Wilkinson, MVD Director of Acquisitions and producer of the MVD Rewind Collection curator shares his enthusiasm for these new releases. “I’m excited to be working with our great content partners to bring both Drive and The Go-Go Boys to Blu-ray for the first time, and to give collectors a second chance to pick up Action U.S.A., Mortuary and The House on Sorority Row on disc once again. I’m a geek for video store culture and our packaging reflects that. It gives fans that lived through the video store era an opportunity to enjoy the nostalgia, and for our younger collectors, they get to experience these for the very first time, just as they were.”

MVD Entertainment Group is a full service music and movie distribution firm, exclusively representing thousands of audio and visual products for DVD, Blu-ray, CD, vinyl, and digital rights, worldwide. MVD also exclusively distributes a growing line of merchandise including limited edition collectibles, tee shirts, and more. The company stays on the cutting edge of new media with a huge catalog of audio and visual digital rights, and by nurturing its direct relationships with the major digital and VOD platforms.

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[mst3kproject]

The Devil’s Eight

The nasty misanthropic Ross Hagen revenge movies were among my least favourite episodes of MST3K, so it’s no surprise I haven’t done one as an Episode that Never Was.  But this blog isn’t about movies I like, it’s about movies that were or should have been on the Satellite of Love.  The Devil’s Eight is from American International Pictures, and as well as Hagen it features Leslie Parrish, whom you’ll remember as Ev from The Giant Spider Invasion, and Cliff Osmond, whom you probably don’t remember as the Sheriff in Hangar 18.  And on a super-duper-extra-promising note, it was written by Willard Huyck, who did the script for American Graffiti… but also for Howard the Duck.

FBI Agent Faulkner has been assigned to arrest a powerful crime lord.  Several of his colleagues have already tried this mission and been killed, so rather than use fellow agents, he frees a bunch of criminals from a chain gang and forces them to be his underlings, because we’re here to rip off The Dirty Dozen and we don’t care if it makes sense.  Driving specially souped-up cars, this unwashed and unshaven bunch infiltrate the crime boss’ moonshine operation only to realize that he’s set a trap for them.  The movie climaxes in a free-for-all of shooting, driving, and blowing shit up, and I have no idea what was happening for most of it but Ross Hagen got to hug his girlfriend at the end so it must have worked out okay.

My number one complaint about The Devil’s Eight (and I have many) is that there is only one piece of music in the entire film.  It’s a repetitive and obnoxiously catchy two-line melody that is arranged in a dozen different ways, attempting to sound ominous, mischievous, romantic, dramatic, and so forth, but the only thing it ever actually does sound like is comical old west saloon music.  It repeats through the whole hour and forty minutes of the movie and then we have to hear a ditty about the characters sung to the same tune over the end credits.  I can already tell it’s gonna be in my head for days and it’s making me want to stab something.

From the beginning, The Devil’s Eight is very badly constructed.  We start with the prison break, which was probably a good idea, and follow it until the surprise moment when they find the helicopter there waiting for them.  This scene is weirdly reminiscent of its counterpart in Starcrash and I assume both of them stole it from some better movie.  Once they’re in the chopper, however, we segue into a flashback of Faulkner and his boss talking about the mission.  Skipping back in time to a couple of guys talking in an office totally derails the momentum the first scene built up.  We want to know what’s going on, but the same information could have (and partially was) imparted by Faulkner talking to the rest a moment later!

When he does talk to them, he is maddeningly vague about what their plan is.  It involves secretly armored cars and throwing grenades while driving them – we can gather that much from the montages that follow.  The ultimate goal is to find a guy named Burl, who brews his own moonshine and apparently ‘owns’ most of the cops and politicians in wherever this is, and whom we know nothing about until the movie is half over.  When things finally do start happening, we still don’t really know what they’re trying to accomplish, and we’re not sure the characters are.  Faulkner acts like he knows what he’s doing, and the other guys (and the audience) just have to take that on faith.

In addition to telling us what the hell the characters are trying to accomplish, the first third or so of the movie should be spent getting to know them and setting up their arcs.  The Devil’s Eight tries to do this but it’s pretty half-assed about it.  There’s Sonny, the drunk troublemaker, who resolutely refuses to evolve even at gunpoint. There’s Chandler, the guy who is trying to better himself by giving up violence and reading the bible.  He turns out to be the most brutal hand-to-hand fighter of the lot, absolutely creaming half of Burl’s guys in a barfight, but he’s given no resolution to his desire for a pacifist lifestyle and is gunned down moments after admitting he doesn’t know whether to believe in god or not. And there’s Henry and Billy Jo, the black guy and the bigot (respectively), who learn to appreciate each other.  I have to give this arc a couple of grudging points for ending with Henry weeping over Billy Jo’s dead body rather than the reverse… congratulations, guys, you were slightly less racist than you could have been.

The character with the biggest personal investment in this and the one who tries to have a real story arc is Ross Hagen’s Frank. He used to work for Burl until, for unknown reasons, Burl framed him for murder, killed his younger brother, and stole his girlfriend.  He’s now itching for revenge and is personal stake in the mission leads him to take charge and enforce order when the others try to rebel against Faulkner.  That sounds like a pretty good storyline for the main character in a movie.

Then they blow it.  When Faulkner tells him they have to bring Burl in alive, Frank gets mad and insists he deserves to die.  Then, like that other Frank in T-Bird Gang, he gets no resolution for it.  The audience expects him to have a moment of confrontation with Burl and then either kill him or decide not to do so. The final confrontation, however, is between Burl and Faulkner, while Frank just fucking stands there.  It seems incomprehensible when it’s his girlfriend Burl is threatening to shoot.

This scene also has a perfect opportunity to pay off another thing The Devil’s Eight set up earlier – there’s a scene in which Faulkner demonstrates his skill as a marksman by putting three holes in a target without hitting the man who is reaching to take the target off its stand.  When Burl began threatening to shoot Frank’s girlfriend, Faulkner stood up and I was sure we were going to get a payoff for that, with Faulkner shooting Burl in the leg or the hand to make him let go of the woman, without hitting her.  But instead, Faulkner just drops his gun and walks forward to parlay!  It’s a failure of Chekov’s gun with an actual gun in it.

I think Faulkner is supposed to be the actual main character.  He’s in charge, after all, and he’s the one who gets things like flashbacks and climactic confrontations.  The problem with this is that Faulkner never learns anything, never grows, and we get no insights into his character.  He’s just a huge asshole to everybody from his girlfriend to the prisoners to the rookie agent the FBI sent to assist him (this character’s age is never established. He’s implied to be young and naïve, but he’s played by an actor who looks like he’s around forty).  Faulkner’s final line is not to place Burl under arrest, although that’s coming, but to make fun of him.

If Faulkner is a crummy hero, Burl is a terrible villain.  We don’t even meet him until the movie’s half-over, which I guess is supposed to build suspense.  The problem is that until that moment, we have seen nothing to tell us what kind of threat he represents.  Characters have talked about it, but that’s all.  We got a vague impression of a local crime king, but when Burl actually arrives in the narrative he’s a Joe Don Baker-looking guy who lives in a ramshackle log cabin in the middle of nowhere, with a bunch of other hillbillies who differ from him mostly in being dirtier.  All he seems to actually do is sit around eating.  He never comes across as threatening, just as a hick with pretensions.

Without a compelling hero, a threatening bad guy, or much of an idea what this is all even building to, where does that leave The Devil’s Eight?  It’s an over-long movie about dirty men driving huge cars and punching each other. The movie had plenty of time that could have gone into rising action and establishing character and playing up Burl’s threat and so forth, but instead it’s just training montages of driving and punching.  Once the actual plan is in motion that turns out to be just more driving and punching as they run Burl’s moonshine deliveries off the road.  The driving scenes are set to that annoying single piece of music that sounds more comical than exciting, the bluescreen backgrounds are dire, and the actors are utterly incapable of making their fake driving look anything but fake.

Everybody in the entire movie is filthy, by the way. I don’t know if this is actually supposed to invoke the ‘dirty’ part of The Dirty Dozen, or if it’s an attempt to show how rough and tough these guys are, but they’re all grimy, sweaty, and gross.  I could almost smell them through the screen.

MST3K would have had a great time with The Devil’s Eight.  I can picture Crow and Tom trying to make their own moonshine… Mike tastes it and doesn’t like it but tries not to insult them, and then they reveal it’s distilled from things like old o-rings and Joel’s socks.  And I know exactly what the stinger would have been, too.  There’s a bit where Burl and Faulkner are attempting to size each other up over dinner, and Burl orders Frank’s ex-girlfriend to mind her manners and give Frank a slice of her inexpertly-iced cake.  I don’t know why this is so funny, but I don’t know what made half the stingers in the series funny, so there you go.