#source: the incorrect book quote

[two-braincells-in-total]

Idk about dogs, but I read somewhere that sheeps have accents of whatever sound they're making, idk what it's called in English

Like, a sheep from Germany won't understand what a sheep from the UK is trying to say, but two German sheeps would understand each other

Idk if it's true tho

Kenji: Do you think dogs bark in different languages?

Warner: What, and I cannot express this enough, the fuck?

[sleeplessdreamer14]

Bill: (trying to get Ford to take him back)

(Name): (picks Ford up like a sack of potatoes) Oops, got your man! Shoulda treated him right, now he with a real (redacted), he loves it over here!

Ford: Yeah, I love it over here!

(Name): You want him back? Too damn bad!

[percabethconvos]

[Talking about the future in Tartarus]

Annabeth: What do you want?

Percy: I want to live my life; I want to be with you, and not have to worry about what comes next

[jackie-gremlin-ghost]

Axolotl: You must do something that I was not willing to do all those eons ago.

Bill: FULFILL DESTINY, RIGHT?

Axolotl: No… Get some therapy.

[burnt-coffeebeans]

Based on this post about Tim’s origin story being like a Y/N plot: link

Tim: My name is Tim Drake

Tim: I have black hair and blue eyes that make me the adoption bait for Batman but he doesn’t notice

Tim: This makes me the NEXT ROBIN!

Tim: I have two love interests: Boring Tan Caucasian (Kon) and Boring Pale Caucasian (Bernard)

Tim: My mother is a plot device… She will die now

Tim: My character flaws include being addicted to coffee and not sleeping

Tim: My father has forced me to quit being Robin… He will die now

Tim: This is the part where I get into a battle and a close call with death gives me an identity crisis~!

Tim: ✨ the identity crisis is symbolic of my character development ✨

Tim: Plot twist! Batman is dead!

Tim: Batman has once again lived!

Tim: ✨Bird metaphor ✨

[gardentool]

Y/N: You don’t think I can fight because I’m a girl.

Nanami: I don’t think you can fight because you’re wearing a wedding dress. For what it’s worth, I don’t think Satoru could fight in that dress, either.

Gojo: Perhaps not, but I would make a radiant bride.

[totally-correct-star-wars]

Fennec: We just ate. Why are you making pancakes? Boba: For the rancor. Fennec: Why are you making pancakes for the rancor? Boba: He doesn't know how.

[shyjusticewarrior]

Duke: You're very white today, Bruce.

Bruce: I'm white everyday, Duke.

Duke: That's true.

[i-only-see-daylight]

Aelin: The real treasure was the memories we made along the way.

Lorcan: I almost died. 

Aelin: That... was my favorite memory.

[greenapplebling]

Yuu: So what was it like to be trapped all together?

Vil: I wanted to leave the moment I realized I wanted to hit Leona in the back of his head

Leona: What did I do??

Vil: That's what freaked me out. You didn't do anything and yet by just looking at you... I felt a great need to beat you up

Jamil: Oh I feel the same way

Yuu: About who?

Jamil: Yeah

Yuu: ??

[cod-dump]

Nik: History was second on my list of favorite subjects when I was studying.

Price: What was first?

Nik: Geography. The atlas was bigger, and it was easier to hide a bottle of vodka behind it.

[pain-is-too-tired]

Michael,panicking cause he can't find Will:Has anyone seen my brother???

Michael:Oh gods- Will!!

Lee,also panicking: That mother's adrenaline is kicking in-

Michael:WILL!!

Lee,still in panic:I can see every equation-

Michael, talking to one of the other head counselors:Excuse me, ma'am, have you seen my brother?? He's about this tall, clearly Bi but we hadn't had the talk-

Lee, looking in one of the storage rooms and falling over everything :Will ARE YOU IN THERE???

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Barty: Five people

Evan: What?

Barty: That’s how many people I’ve had sex with

Evan: At once?

Barty: No! Merlin’s fucking balls.

Barty: I mean, that sounds highly appealing, but no

[avalon-knightly]

Ace: "These roses you're talking about, why do we have to paint them red? They don't belong to us."

Trey: "Well, you know all that food in the fridge? That doesn't belong to you, either. If you want to keep eating it, I suggest you get to work."

Ace, to Deuce: "Okay, he's serious."

[chrysalismandtea]

grantaire, talking about enjolras: he’s normal, is he? what am i, then?

eponine: you’re a freak. you know that.

[incorrectcomicbookquotes]

Impulse: (in a tussle with Inertia)

Robin: (struggling to aim a batarang)

Secret: What're you waiting for?! Take the shot!

Robin: I can't! I can't risk hurting my best friend!

Superboy: Dude! I thought I was your best friend!

Robin: Right, sorry! I mean, my second best friend!

Wonder Girl: I thought I was your second best friend!

Robin: No, you're my best friend on the girl list!

Wonder Girl: You can't have a separate list for girls!

Robin: Well, I do! It's pink and the "I"s are dotted with puffy hearts!