#sorry i just had to vent about it
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I cant stand it when other people who are into fish take on a mocking tone when i talk about goldfish keeping. Especially when it’s immediately evident they don’t actually know anything about it.
#i love my fancies and take a lot of pride in keeping them in proper tank#and overall giving them proper care#i’ve put too much time into learning about gold fish both the common and fancy varieties to get mocked by strangers#like oh i got so excited to talk about fish with you and you crushed that excitement the second you heard me say ‘fancy goldfish’#you can just say you dont know anything about then or they’re not your thing#you dont need to take on a mocking tone#goldfish have such long historyand ate genuinly a very interesting fish#especially if you add cultural significance?#wonderful and misunderstood fish#the pixie speaks#sorry i just had to vent about it#i know not everyone care about goldfish and the different types#just i care about them and wish people weren’t jerks about it
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there are a lot of evil people in the world and a lot of darkness in the world and so it’s very important for me to stress that now more than ever is the time to spread kindness and compassion. combat the evil by not only not partaking in it, but actively refuting it. destroy the notion that being compassionate or generous or kind to someone is uncool or embarrassing or even scary. be the change you want to see. start a chain reaction. positivity only breeds more positivity. do an act of kindness for someone so that that person who is too afraid to do it themselves can see you, realize that they’re not alone, and perhaps sheepishly follow your example. and then the next person who is too afraid but sees that person can do the same. when bad news comes out about bad people or horrible atrocities in the world it’s such an easy impulse to despair, and obviously it’s important to feel what you need to feel. grieve. be angry. be sorrowful. be empathetic. but dust off your pants and get up and be a part of a chain reaction that, no matter how small the scale, and spread compassion and love and care. all the reasons why you might not—“it’s hard! it’s scary! people will make fun of me! it’s useless because there’s too much evil!” are all grade A arguments as to why you should. you have no idea how many people you could inspire to do the same. even if it doesn’t get you anyway far, you can at least say you have the nobility of trying. please choose love and please choose life. you are worth loving and you are worth inspiring others to love
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guys i just finished my first shift at my first job, could you guys congratulate me.
#when my family picked me up they didn’t congratulate me bc my little sister was crying that she had waited too long on me to finish my shift#and the whole ride home and night was about her#and no one noticed or congratulated me until i was sobbing and even then the attention wasn’t really on me#i know it might be petty but this is my first job and i just wanted a pat on the back but instead no one even talked to me#sorry for venting#shroom talks
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I feel like I should say since there's been a recent uptick in a lot of communities I'm in/see stuff from a lot of white people pretending to be Asian, but you are not welcome here if you are in anyway stealing from Asian cultures for clout or the aesthetics of it
This includes if you're white and you give your self inserts Asian names, I truly do not care if your f/o is from an anime, you should not be using an Asian name under any circumstances. I hate that whenever I see someone using an Asian name online, I feel like I have to start searching their account to see if they're actually Asian or just a white person who likes the aesthetic of it bcs far too many white people will use Asian names here just bcs it sounds cool, with no regard for the actual cultural meaning behind it. Meanwhile actual Asian people will be mocked for their names, or treated like their names are too hard to learn to pronounce, or discriminated against based on their names
Asian cultures are not a fun little costume for people to dress up with. They aren't just a nice aesthetic, they aren't just a thing you can borrow from bcs you think it sounds cool
#my posts#selfship community#anti asian racism#like it's definitely a perpetual problem of white people not seeming to realize asian names are like#a thing that are tied to culture and identity#but it's gotten crazy lately with people pretending to be asian online for clout#just in the past like 3 weeks of things i've seen#we had the white woman pretending to be a japanese woman on comic twitter#the white woman who pretended to be korean to get a 'ownvoices' book published#(who btw. named herself kim chi. you cannot make this shit up)#and then the white guy pretending to be japanese to try to justify his hate of the new assassin's creed game using stuff around yasuke#like it's so draining. i hate how much this is a never ending problem#i hate how casually white people will use asian names#like worstie. i am a korean woman. but i am whitepassing and mixed so i never use korean names for my self inserts#bcs i have the privilege of looking white and people generally only knowing i'm asian if i say it#it feels inappropriate to me for me to name my self inserts a korean name#bcs that would then mean they experience the world in a different way than i do#even being whitepassing bcs of the way people treat korean (and other asian) names#if you are white you have no fucking right to asian names#idgaf if your f/o's an anime character. stay away from asian names bcs they are not yours to dress up in#vent a little bit sorry team#i've been dealing with white people doing this shit and being assholes to me about it for well over a year now. it's exhausting
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Just another day wishing I didn't live with my parents but having to because I can barely take care of myself
#haha i had a meltdown#over smthn silly to them#which did result in me crying a lot#embarrassing when its something silly but more embarrassing when its about something serious to me#anyway#long story short masking is not going well for me and i was inevitably gonna blow up#i cant even really cry it out in my room cause i dont have a lock on my door#so#haha#sorry for random vent#ig its not reallt a vent when its this vague#i feel silly esp cause my coworker was like ' you should just be grateful you hava roof over your head and food and a bed'#and i do get it#but bestie this is not living#i think living would at least mean having a somewhat decent time#but im just kinda surviving#its basically just like hs except now that im an adult theyre 'allowing' me to live here and i owe them for it#idk thats too much to get into when i said it wasnt a vent post
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I can't believe people give advice that's basically "be less stressed". How can I explain to you that I've been scared of walking down the stairs since I learned to walk and I get an intrusive thought every time I cross a road. And then I have a lot more, actually real and important stuff to be anxious about!!
#like 90% of my intrusive thoughts are about me being harmed instead of the other way around#which i guess can be better than the alternative cause i question my morality less and stuff#like i went through the harmful yo others intrusive thoughts most of my childhood and it's kind of switched at some point#but now i am. unimaginably stressed by. everything#like sometimes i feel like im actually going crazy because how many times can you#live out your own death or have thoughts of great harm being donw to you. its just an insane feeling#whatever i was just thinking about a talk i had with one doctor#who asked me if i have a lot of stress in my life and when i said yes#she said “well you should become less stressed”#thanks girlie#ok sorry for using this post to vent about my intrusive thoughts but they suck ass and i can#never talk to anyone about them#god if i ever said more than a sentence about them I would feel so crazy
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my frustration with the bsd fandom is that their bias hatred towards mori causes them to be stubborn in not analyzing mori's character at all. yes, he has done bad shit, but 80% of the characters has as well. bsd is a morally gray world. they simplify him to "pedo sadist that fiddles children" like just wtf. the sa dazai headcanon and theories spread around and shown in the fics are just so disgusting and triggering. you're taking such an intersting, mysterious, and well written character and painting him as the source of every problem in the BSD universe (basically making him a scapegoat). it's illogical and stupid. you're allowed to dislike characters, just appreciate how well written they are and don't simplify them down/mischaracterize them due to your contempt towards them.
#tw: mentions of sa#ive just seen so many fics of mori being this big bad wolf that tortures skk and its just so against his character#so i wanted to let my feelings out#rant post#bsd#bsd fandom#bungou stray dogs#mori ougai#vent post#port mafia#rant about fandom#sorry had to get my feelings out
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Ive just progressively wanted to exist less and less and less in front of others for like years now and on my worst days it really gets to me
#kae.txt#i wish i was smaller in every sense of the word i dont want to be thought of#i cried to my mom and she had to leave the house and the way she said she'd be back sounded like she was really worried id do something and#i hate that i hate it so much i never wanna make her feel like that but i just cant help it im really tired#i hate even venting about it here cause god forbid i get a message about someone worrying about me#makes me feel fucking awful#sorry i started thinking again oops#ill be over it by tomorrow though thats always how this happens
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So The Bear ends season 2 with Carmy fucking up his pretty serious relationship with Claire. They spent an entire season developing this relationship between Carmy and Claire, and now it's over, and not just over, but abruptly and painfully over. Throughout this same season, they continue to develop Carmy and Syd's relationship, incorporating undeniable nods toward an eventual romance.
Then in season 3, they have Carmy dealing with the fallout of his painful fuckup, that ended a relationship that was, as I said, pretty serious, and was developed over the course of an entire season. They do this while continuing to develop Carmy and Syd's relationship, and while their interactions are mostly tense this season, they continue to incorporate blatant nods toward an eventual romance.
This is happening at the same time they have opened a restaurant, and Carmy is under enormous pressure, pressure that has been made worse by his breakup. Pressure to make the place a success, to live up to his potential, but also to make sure that Tina has an income, that he gives Marcus's mom what she wanted for Marcus, that Ebra, elderly and at the point where he really needs to be retiring, continues to have a job, that he doesn't endlessly waste his uncle's money, and crucially, so that the restaurant can earn that star Sydney is dreaming of, and that Carmy didn't even want.
And yet there are people genuinely criticizing The Bear for not canonizing SydCarmy this season, when...?
The man just went through a devastating breakup -
At the same time he opened a goddamn restaurant -
And is clearly going through the crisis of a lifetime -
And on top of that, he's just quit smoking.
Do you think, in real life, that it's realistic someone in that situation would immediately turn around and start seeing someone else? Do you think the writers would have spent a whole season developing Carmy's relationship with Claire, just for Carmy to shrug it off like it was nothing when it ends?
I'm even more baffled by the idea that SydCarmy not becoming canon this season is because the writers this whole time, have just been, what? Fucking with you? Straight-baiting you? Or do you think that just because they didn't canonize SydCarmy this season that this is indicative that they didn't intentionally allude to a future romance between Syd and Carmy?
I will tell you right now that The Bear is one of the most purposefully written shows I've ever seen. And while I will say that this season might be the weakest so far and wasn't what I was hoping for either - Nothing on that show is an accident. Nothing means nothing.
The writers of The Bear are too good to have accidentally implied SydCarmy was a thing. They are also far too dedicated to their vision for The Bear for them to be throwing things in just to fuck with you.
Have some patience maybe? When was the last time you watched a show that didn't hand you something the moment it was hinted at? Aren't you tired of watching shows that skip to the good part? Which is, as a result, not as good as it would have been?
#the bear#sydcarmy#I don't know I'm just venting#I had my own criticisms of this season but man#I felt like I was being punked when I realized how many people feel slighted sydcarmy isn't canon yet#and then on top of that there's like a lot who have decided that I guess this means it was all about platonic love the whole time?#and I'm sorry but#there would be nothing wrong with Syd and Carmy being friends#but the writing devices being used in this show to develop their relationship and inform our understanding of who they are to each other#are explicitly romantic#there is no other way to read it from just a narrative standpoint#obviously in real life friends can look like anything.#But in fiction friendship and romance are both written about very differently.#Might not always be that way but as of right now it is and the bear generally isn't about challenging those dynamics or our understanding#of what constitutes them. It's not subverting our understanding of platonic or romantic love. That's not what the show is about.
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sorry this is weird, but thank you for talking about dogblud. i've also had fucked up experiences with her and her partner, but i'm a nobody trans woman so i just got pushed out.. i could talk for days about it but i'm not gonna vent in your inbox. just, lots and lots of love and sorry you're having to go through this.
Not weird at all! You're unfortunately not the first person to tell me you've also had issues with her, and I'm very sorry you did. No pressure at all, but you are free to vent about it (either on anon or DMs). What you're saying doesn't suprise me at all knowing how her and her partner acted with me.
#if you wanna just vent I won't publish the asks#I spent several months with her and she only ever talked about one other person she had issues with#but a handful of people have messaged me#just yeah I'm very sorry that happend to you#ask
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it’s 5:20am i cannot sleep i am consumed with thoughts and yearning for keigo takami i need to be euthanized
#literally these days all i do is Lay Awake and Wither Away#the nightmares have been exponentially worse lately#fun fact ur local fanfic author has Problems.#idk man there’s just something haunting about having reoccurring nightmares about your ex and every time u close ur eyes it’s throwing u#right back into the pit of hell that was that relationship#it’s fine it’s fine it’s fine i just no Longer Trust People#anyways this is a vent post and it is so cringe and lame#i just have never Hated an ex before so there’s a lot i’m coming to terms with especially considering how Fake he is#idek man IDEK!!!!!1!!1!1!#i rlly sacrificed so much to love and live with him and he said ‘mmmmmm now i have u in my grip’#whatever it’s fine he’s stinky and honestly the fact honey (the blog intern and my cat) doesn’t miss him AT ALL says so much#seriously she is so nonplussed by his absence it’s wild#eating fine sleeping fine shitting fine#SAYS A LOT. SAAAAYS A LOT. whatever whatever whatever#i would hit that emotionally immature man with my car if given the chance and yknow what. nick if ur reading this you’re one of the#most.#emotionally immature people ive ever had the misfortune of knowing.#what a shame you lost me#the best thing and healthiest thing that ever happened to you#because of your own actions and your own inability to take accountability for your mental health and actions#tell your mom i say hi#and tell your exes im sorry i ever doubted any of them x_x#WEEEEE what a vent#listen to big sister birbs when she says don’t date men who have something horrific to say about each of their exes
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I wish I could be very normal and ' enjoy each day as it comes' and 'live in the moment' but unfortunately if I do that how will I be prepared for the future in which I am more miserable???
#i just wish i could relax and enjoy thinge#but i cant#if i stop worrying about things that might not happen they will happen#not proven but very very likely#and id rather be emotionally prepared#i am prepared for the day when all my friends realize i actually am terrible and manipulative and leave me behind#like im not fine with it and in fact it would kill me#but it could very well happen so im at least a little prepared for#last time i was too happy and rrlaxed everything went to shit#if i had a nickel for every time i was happy and relaxed and everythung went to shit#id have two nickels#i guess id have 3 cause i think i might have been happy as a toddler#but when I turned 5 i became cognizant and then bam#lifetime of undiagnosed and unmedicated anxiety#haha#anyway#sorry for the random vent i have accidentally put myself in the trenches over nothing#vent tw#pls dont respond it generally makes me feel worse#and makes me feel like im manipulating people#if you read this far im sorry ill also be fine im just anxious and stressed about stupid stuff as usual
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why is the concept of showing empathy for drug/alcohol addicts so hard to understand for some ppl? v.v they suffer too sis, that problem has to come from somewhere and i bet most of them would rather not be addicted in the first place. some people don't know what nuance is i swear. am i crazy for having empathy with addicts??? i don't think so.
#tw drinking#tw alcohol abuse#tw depression#tw addiction#context: i have a friend i've known for a long time (i use the term friend loosely because she's getting on my nerves A LOT lately#and every time i show an ounce of empathy for someone whose addicted to any kind of substance she gets judgy as hell#and uses my personal experience against me to try and change my mind#“but didn't your dad drink himself to death and made life so hard for you and your family?”#sis °-° he had manic depressive episodes and drinking was his coping mechanism for it#he was never abusive towards other people only to himself but ofc watching him wasting away when i was a teen was fucking hard.#he also grew up in a time where mental health problems weren't talked about as much as it is today especially regarding men#so he had a hard time getting help#addiction is a symptom to a bigger problem most if not all of the time but so many people don't see that shit#they just talk for the sake of talking v.v#ofc are some addicts also abusive to others and that's not okay#but that problem comes from somewhere#also she is a smoker btw just saying ;)#sorry for rambling#needing to VENT °.°#prolly delete later#cw drinking#cw depression#cw addiction
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#probably going to be offline a while longer#my mom got worse really fast and i feel like im losing my mind#we thought we had more fucking time and the earliest flight wr coukd get was friday#ahaha#sorry feeling actually embarrassed about venting on my silly little blog but yea.#just feeling very isolated and scared and damn i feel like a little kid just wanting to be held rn
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like a regular bin, not even recycled or anything
#poll#okay so uh#dont read the tags ahead unless you care about my little vent#my mom got me a hoodie in December from shein#even tho i had two very similar hoodies already both from better brands#still fast fashion but not as fast#and one of them was modded by me#but the hoodie was fucking soft and comfy and good length so it quickly became my favourite hoodie#according to my mother tho after a month she started complaining that it's ugly.#it had those little balls idk what they're called but#1 i don't fucking care#2 they're removable#so anyway fot the past week or two shes been complaining every time i wore the hoodie and today she screamed at me and threw it in the trash#she also kicked me but thats unrelated#and like even if she bought me a new identical one that wouldn't help at all cause she still threw my stuff in the trasg#and bought from a company that goes against my values#and she keeps excusing it like “its cheaper”#im sorry but buying one good thing and wearing it too death is cheaper than buying a hundred things you throw away after less than 3 months#so fucking sick of this!!!!!!!!#i have more than enough clothes too and am currently trying to get rid of some#BUT NOT LIKE THAT WHAT THE FUCK#btw my vinted is dupiarz it's mostly stuff from 2017-2020 so not really trendy but maybe youd like something#the pnly clothing i dont bother repairing and just throw out is underwear#but i do fix socks because good socks are good socks
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ok posting it here bc im not sure if its going to stay in the doodle page
#delete later#deleting soon bc eyes on me#for those of you who kept asking about Something last year LOLLL#sorry this is too entry level vent comic ykwim i jst needed to get it out#im over it in the sense that like ok yeah whatever#but not in the sense that i came out worse than before. i was already Small. ive been further Smallened#i was a rebound and lied to and discarded...which thank god i was Set Free but wow!#all my personal fears reinforced. it is embarrassing for me to want and need...i get it neow. i was a stepping stone i am an npc#idk that i could do it again! im not sure its worth trying i am too much of a...project.#as i was told from day 1 but still ran directly into it#and i was too much of a coward to leave myself. if it happened again i wouldnt be able to leave then either.#im happy that i dont think it could get much worse than all that for my first experience but it was also exhausting#and weirdly at the same time i dont think i cld ever expect better#its almost been a year since its been Done and the words and treatment linger <3#this is also why i had to enlist talon as imaginary bf number 2 LOL need extra reinforcement and love#cringe as fuck but it rly will never be as good as whats in my brain...i know that neow. i will spare everyone the trouble#and remove myself from the dating pool (<- implying he was ever even in it)#i dont even hold any ill will toward em bc they were right...its just hurts ykwim
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