#sorry i fucked your husband

[iris-echos]

Just got reminded of the banger helluva boss line "sorry i fucked your husband"...

Tonights gonna be a good one boys (/gender neutral)

[euphorroria]

the bald bitch is me 🫢

[rookanisstuff]

“Oh Lucanis… I’m going to miss you.”

Lucanis funeral in like 30 years….. there was supposed to be a second part where she kissed the coffin but frankly it’s too damn sad!!!!! I can’t take drawing this anymore!!!!

[fyoht]

oh my god. look at him. what a little bitch.

[sillygoofyqueer]

My brain right now: *screaming sobbing shaking* GUYS WE'RE ON A SCHEDULE IT'S BEDTIME SOON!!! The other half of my brain: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! MAD SCIENTIST AU! WE MUST PREVAIL!!! Let's look at how everyone's doing since Wei Wuxian 'died', starting with Xue Yang and the Wen siblings!! *checks notes* Okayyy, sssooooo....they're all depressed and hate everything. Ever since Wei Wuxian 'died', there have been two mini wars - the Wen siblings + Xue Yang against all of the Wen, and then Xue Yang against literally all of the Wen. He tolerates Wen Qing and Wen Ning more than the rest of them because at least they actually cared about Wei Ying and he can sort of see why they never told he and Wei Ying about the truth (see, this is Wei Ying's influence at work because he would never do this in canon). Despite this, he still fucking despises the fact that they lied to them, something that led to Wei Ying's breakdown and demise. He would be alive if they had just told them the truth. Even though Xue Yang does know the truth, he also has to pretend that he doesn't so that he doesn't end up dead like Wei Ying.

The Wen really don't trust the Wen siblings or Xue Yang anymore, not after what happened to Wei Wuxian (and Wen Zhuliu), so they send them to Yiling both to head a supervisory office and for 'practical research'. Yes, this is also to mock them by reminding them of their dearest brother, the last one to lash out against the Wen and died because of it. Xue Yang is even more infuriated by this, and becomes a lot more volatile with everyone around him, clinging to all of Wei Ying's work and trying desperately to break the code of the notes so that he can connect with his gege again, so he can hear his voice and be reminded of how brilliant he always was. Not only does he hate the Wens, but he also despises the Nies for their part in Wei-gege's death. Nie Huaisang was the one who broke the news to Wei-gege, and Wei-gege had a qi deviation because of it. He makes it very clear that Nie Huaisang killed Wei-gege, and then refuses to keep up the communication they once had.

Nie Huaisang feels sick when he receives a note that only says 'Wei Wuxian was beaten and thrown into the Burial Mounds because of you.' He had begun to see Wei Wuxian as a friend, as a confidant that he could gossip and joke with, and now he's learned that Wei Wuxian was caught and handed a fate worse than death because of it. He panics, he hyperventilates, and it all comes spilling out to Nie Mingjue when he finds him. Nie Mingjue should be mad, he will be mad, but not while his didi is like this - even afterwards, when he's calmed down, Mingjue just cannot fully yell at him because Didi looks so miserable and guilty. So he grumbles something about "at least not all Wen are monsters" and asks to see all of the letters that Wei Wuxian had sent to Nie Huaisang just to be sure - if this boy truly was good, and had died an awful death, then he deserves Nie Mingjue's respect (He is good, of course he's good).

Meanwhile, Wei Ying is really going through it in the Burial Mounds. Even with the apparent coddling from It, he's still basically trying not to die all of the fucking time because Mama doesn't raise a weakling!! He's limping along with his fucked up legs, trying to find food and a water source and anything to hold the water source in and something to make a fire in and - sigh. He's in literally constant pain, with bad days and really fucking bad days, and the only light in the darkness (aside from the Burial Mounds whispering love and encouragement in his mind) is the qiankun pouch that he finds tucked into his inner robes. A cherished blanket to wrap around him and keep him a little warm without his usual layers, his beloved Suibian brings so much comfort and protection to him, pages upon pages of notes that will surely prove helpful in his environment, and! The sword from the Xuanwu, having been tucked in for safekeeping. It whispers to him.

Of course, during his time in the Burial Mounds, Wei Ying is most certainly changing. He's becoming more fucked up by the second with all of the spirits and voices whispering to him, a constant low murmur in the back of his mind that sometimes becomes screams for blood at any sign or thought of violence. He obsesses over all of his notes, all of the half-formed thoughts dancing through his mind, and rejects modao - it's not like he has any living humans around anyway - instead creating another new branch of cultivation based around ghosts. Guidao. He forgets to eat and sleep for days upon end without anyone there to bully him into taking care of himself, and the Burial Mounds equal parts forgetting and just generally unaware what is good for humans. He's working with resentful energy all of the time, he's made his own flute and is weaving it into every experiment. He's experimenting on himself. He's changing.

[linipikk]

I want to say one thing about the setup for Jinx leaving.

The Silco in her mind told her to walk away to be free and she immediately thought about dying. That was the plan.

But THEN-- then Ekko stops her from blowing herself up. The thing is how. Because talking Jinx out of that mindset would require a whole team. And it does.

We can infer he told her that there is another version of her, of course. Powder and Jinx are the same, and as Powder told him "you want me to change" Jinx would think the same! except Jinx believes there is no "good version" of her

But as we know, it is not about one version being superior to the other or how Jinx and Powder being different. But it's about how Ekko has everything to recontextualize something that our Jinx knows deep down.

Because that is the same conversation she had with Silco in the cell, but this time not from a hallucination but from someone who is treating her as a real friend, part of the support system Jinx lacks, but she clings on so desperately.

So I'll go back to Powder for a sec

This is not the first time Vander and Powder have this conversation about her potential, about her leaving

And Vander did say something about it to Ekko. He knows her daughter

As well as Silco's words of wisdom.

Here he might be talking directly about Vander but, we know that it is also about oneself, after all that's what Jinx is all about. She is The Jinx because she destroys everything right? she is her walking reminder of all her failures.

And that's the Ekko's secret knowledge that saves Jinx. We don't need a recap of that episode, we just watched it. and Ekko is there to reach for Jinx, finding her, rewinding the explosion as many times as he has to. He tries very hard for her.

Jinx, as much as she claims to destroy everything, she creates, the one thing she knows how to do, and that's where she is more herself. She builds things and she might find someone worth trying for, not her ghosts or her guilt, but just herself.

Now, here they are: you've seen them, you love them, our acclaimed shimmer ray from the explosion and the ship sailing away.

Jinx leaving is about her following her dads advice and believing in Ekko's words. And I bet she does.

I just.... find it so charming that the glimpse of hope Ekko gives her is not just from himself but also about the fathers she lost so many times.

and to tie up the box, we have the final lyrics of Wasteland (that the series leaves out for ambiguity imo)

bonus monkeys, i bet it is the second Jinx kind of knew that Ekko was talking about her when he said "someone very special"

"someone worth building it for"

[introspectivememories]

thinking about shanks and buggy and how the love was there!!! it was there and it was clear and it was real and it was tangible and it still was not enough!!! the love was there when they grew up together and the love was there when they traveled the world together and the love was there when shanks gave up on the one piece for buggy and the love was there when shanks dived into the ocean to save buggy and the love was there when they promised to go to raftel together on their own ships and the love was there when they lived together in loguetown in the hiatus before roger died and the love was there when buggy damaged luffy's hat and the love was there still when they saw each other at marineford after two decades and shanks still trusted buggy to get the strawhat back to luffy and the love was there still, still, still, when rogers' body was cooling on the execution stand and his blood was being washed away by the rain and shanks put out his hand, palm faced up in supplication, and said "i'm not going after the one piece" and said the words he's been saying since he was a child, a plea, a prayer, "come with me buggy" and buggy who had given up on his hopes and dreams, crushed under the promise of shanks' shining future and his brilliant potential, humiliated by his cowardice and his belief in his would-be king, his friend, his brother, his shanks, slaps his hand away, closes his ears to the plea, the prayer, the devotion shanks is saying, and said "i'll never come with you!" the love was there still and it was not enough.

[evil-mcytblrconfessions]

hey!! can we like!! not send tons of hate and harassment to flower husbands fans!!!???

some of my friends have been receiving a ton of it lately and it’s ridiculous. just because someone likes a ship that you think is abusive for some reason (it’s not) THAT DOESNT MEAN THEY SUPPORT ABUSE AND DESERVE DEATH THREATS!!!!!!!! STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE GENUINELY STOP. JUST BLOCK THEIR BLOG AND THE TAG AND MOVE ALONG

i really hope i don’t start getting some

.

[lavenderprose]

Man the feminism sure does just leave some people's bodies when they see women dating men who they consider ugly or old or undesirable. 'Why would she date him' she thinks he's hot next question. 'He must be giving her something' yeah it's called love shut up. 'What is he doing to her to make her stay with him' yeah you're right it's probably something really awful like eating her pussy like it's his job. Be so for fucking real. Grown ass women do not need protection from randos on the Internet because their relationship/marriage/lifestyle doesn't make sense to you.

[fruchtfliege]

WIP THURSDAY 👰‍♀️🐺

Tagged by @slimeyslimeyballsack @ashyjingles @hemlocksandfoxgloves @ksbbb

They're both hunched over their coffees and Chris is pleased to know there's at least a moment in the day when Peter isn't his shiny bastard self.

“We already prepared a backstory, why do we need to see each other again?” the hunter asks even if it's barely been a minute since he sat down.

“Because that's what married people do?” Peter tells him with an unimpressed glance and a sigh, almost annoyed by the question.

Chris scoffs, taking a sip to occupy his mind. How the fuck did his life turn into this? “How would you know?”

“How would you know?” Peter snorts.

Chris frowns at the idiotic question. “I was married. Or did you forget how your nephew killed my-”

“She killed herself, Chris.”

They both stare at each other as the tense silence grows around them. Chris finally looks away and lets it go. It’s too early for a debate and he really doesn’t want to know what Peter Hale’s opinion is on this subject.

“All I'm saying is that it was an arranged, strategic, hunter marriage,” Peter huffs like it's no big deal.

Chris stays silent. It was all those things but it doesn't mean he never loved Victoria and it certainly doesn't mean he didn't love Allison. Still love her, even if she's gone. He wants to ask how Peter knows about the arrangement but the hunter doesn't want to give Peter the opportunity to gloat.

“I've got things to do.” Chris gets up to leave but Peter immediately traps his hand on the table with his clawed hand on top of it.

Chris looks at it before raising his gaze to glare at Peter, unamused. “Let go,” he says but it's really an order.

“What's your favorite color?” Peter smiles but it still doesn't have the same easy smugness it usually holds. Must be because it's so early.

“I'm not 12,” Chris groans, still trying to get his hand out of Peter's iron grip.

Peter rolls his eyes. “Well, be 12 for a second.”

Chris looks at the hand on top of his. It's hot and heavy and, each time he tries to pull away, Peter's grip gets discernibly tighter. Feeling rage bubbling up, Chris tries to stay cool and collected. He could reach for his gun and maybe get the best of Peter since he's not fully awake yet but… he honestly can't bring himself to fight so early and certainly not over something so petty. He relaxes his hand and lies it flat against the table, completely loose under the werewolf’s strong hold.

Chris sits back down. “Blue.”

“Boring but alright.”

Silence stretches but it’s clear that Peter is waiting for something.

Chris sighs. “And what's yours?” he asks with an obviously mocking tone.

“Oh, it's copper! You know, a very rusty shade of orange. Wait, I’ve got a picture.”

Getting his phone, Peter lets go of Chris' hand but the hunter doesn't get up, he stays seated. It doesn't mean he leans closer to properly look at the screen when Peter shows him a picture of a very particular rust color. All he can think is:

"You have a picture of your favorite color on your phone?"

“Obviously. What am I supposed to do? Try and find it for five minutes every time someone asks?”

“Who's asking?” Chris frowns, baffled.

Peter smiles brightly at that, tilting his head in interest. “Why? You jealous?”

No pressure tags especially since it's so late but I guess there's always WIP Friday lol: @honestlydarkprincess @thiamsxbitch @aristarr @akirasstories @opheliathiams @thiamsalpha @genetic-hellhound

[pridoo]

Sometimes my guy snores so weirdly that it's more off-putting than the volume

[starchaserfanatic]

Was just talking to a friend about fanfiction and they said they were getting into the Harry Potter fandom, and so I asked them what they were reading.

Was fully expecting to talk about Drarry fics-I was wrong. They said they were reading mostly Dramione and I had that mind-blanking moment where I remembered that there is actually heterosexual fanfiction, but like I kind of forgot it was a thing?? Like oh yeah, my bad, guess I’m just so gay I forgot there was another option.

I don’t even remember the last time I read something with a straight couple that wasn’t a background pairing bro. Like I was maybe thirteen. Yeesh. My bad.

[ohbo-ohno]

for ypur 1k game can i get a "lady of the house" + ghoap💋

1k game here - no more please!

you said lady so im assuming you meant ghoap x reader <3

2.5k of a kinda historical au ft. flirty stablehand johnny x kinda shy reader x very horny simon (cw for oral sex in a public place, though there's no audience except a few horses)

Your husband's staff seems to have no concept of propriety.

No, no, that's not fair to most of the servants. Your husband's stablehand has no concept of propriety.

You'd complain to Simon, but he's hardly around to find most days. While the two of you share a bedchamber, that's nearly the only time you see him. You're lucky to even share a meal with the man, these days. The housekeeper tells you he's holed up in his office more often than not, and that feels like a clear sign that he would rather not be bothered. You two aren't particularly close, so you're more than content to find other ways of amusing yourself.

You've spent most of your time since moving into the manor with your mare, a gift from husband on your wedding night. She's a lovely beast and you've found great joys on long rides with her, despite the persistent ache in your thighs recently.

But that stablehand... Johnny's too handsome for his own good and he knows it, more than willing to flirt with you even though his own master has a claim, and too skilled for you to really ignore.

You hate that you've become so endeared to him, but it's impossible to ignore his flirtatious remarks. You've been a bit starved for affection since your marriage, and Johnny really isn't bad company by any means.

In fact, as much as you know you shouldn't, you can't help but feel a bit excited as you venture down to the stables to go on your daily ride.

You're halfway there when you're joined by someone new, a large figure suddenly walking shoulder to shoulder with you. He nearly makes you jump out of you skin, but you calm a bit at the sight of your elusive husband.

"Oh!" You gasp, pressing a hand over your chest. "You nearly gave me a heart attack."

He inclines his head a bit, wrapping one hand around your elbow as you continue to walk. "My apologies. I thought I might join you on your ride today."

You're not sure how he knew where you'd be, but you take the new company in stride. "I'd enjoy that."

You're silent for the rest of the walk, not entirely comfortable in this veritable stranger's presence quite yet. Your spouse is an intimidating man, and you've hardly spent any time with him, so there's very little comfort to be found in his presence. What little time you have spent together has been in the bedroom and well... if you think of that for too long you'll go red in the face.

"Ah, the lady of the house!" Johnny calls as you enter the stables, stepping away from your mare. "You're late, my lady."

You giggle a bit at his tease. "My apologies, Johnny, I didn't realize you were on a schedule."

His smile grows and he leans against the gate to one of the stalls. "I simply have certain expectations of you, my lady - you're quite the creature of habit."

"You two have gotten close, then?" Your husband asks, and you're swiftly reminded of his presence. Your face flames at how easily you'd shown your friendship with Johnny off in front of a man you're meant to marry.

"I'm sorry," you demure, glancing up at Simon and feeling relief when you find him looking merely curious, not angry. "Johnny's- Mr. MacTavish has been helping me learn to take care of the mare you gifted me, and we've... developed a bit of a friendship in our afternoons spent together."

Simon hums, nodding to himself as his eyes flick between you and the stablehand. The only sign that Johnny is even the slightest bit fazed is the way he straightens up from where he was leaning, back straight and shoulders rolled back.

"No disrespect meant, sir," he apologizes. "Your wife is a lovely creature, I couldn't resist getting to know her a bit better."

"Yes, she is quite enchanting," Simon says quietly, guiding you a bit closer to Johnny. "You're unmarried, aren't you Johnny?"

He nods, and the two of you share a slightly confused look.

"And do you have any prospects?"

Johnny clears his throat, a tinge of red lighting up his cheeks. "No, sir."

Simon hums again, his thumb stroking over the crook of your elbow.

"Have you been taking care of my wife in my absence, Johnny?"

Now he really does blush, and you feel the same heat race through your own face.

"Only..." he clears his throat again, shifting his weight. "Only in ways entirely appropriate, sir, I promise."

"Oh, I don't doubt that. You're a good worker, a good boy, I can tell."

You're not entirely sure what's going on. The tone of voice Simon has adopted is near salacious, a tone you recognize from the few times the two of you have preformed your marital duties together. The tone sets your heart racing, a slightly uncomfortable awareness settling over you.

"Thank- thank you, sir."

"Do you know how to properly take care of a woman?"

"Simon, I'm not sure-" you try to interrupt, uncomfortable with the direction the conversation seemed to be heading.

"Hush, darling, I'm only asking the boy a question. Well, Johnny?"

Poor Johnny's face is as red as a tomato, and you'd tease him if you weren't sure you looked the same.

"Well, sir, I've... I've never had a woman of my own to take care of, but I try my best."

"Oh I'm sure you do."

Simon's contemplative look is a little concerning, so you tug on his hand just a bit. "I'd like to ride today, Simon, if you're ready?"

"In a moment," he dismisses, giving you a soft pat on the shoulder with his free hand. "Would you like to learn how to take care of a woman, Johnny?"

"Simon," you hiss, sure that he's not implying what you think he is.

He looks down at you with an innocent if slightly confused face. "What, darling? The boy needs to learn at some point."

"Not-" you clear your throat, glancing at a very confused looking Johnny from the corner of your eye. "Simon, not here."

"Oh, come off it," he scoffs, a soft smile tilting up his lips. "Is that truly your only complaint? The location? My dear, no one will see us this far out but the trees and the horses. Well," he glances over to the stablehand. "And our Johnny, of course."

"I'm sure he's familiar with how to... take care of a woman."

"I'm not," Johnny blurts, then clamps his lips shut tightly together. His blush spreads down to his neck, and you worry the poor thing might just explode.

"See? So, Johnny, would you like to learn how to care for a woman? I'm sure my lovely wife would be more than happy to introduce you to the pleasures."

Your blush doesn't calm, but looking at Johnny... the idea isn't entirely off-putting.

Johnny's about as handsome as a man can be, and if Simon has no compunctions to sharing a bit of your pleasure... well, you've always been a bit of a glutton.

Johnny seems about as unbothered by the idea as you are.

"Really, sir? You'd let me... you'd let her teach me?"

Simon laughs a little, stepping closer to Johnny and turning you so you're shoulder to shoulder with him. "Oh, I'll be doing the teaching, boy. She's just out practice doll, yes?"

That makes your breath hitch, the idea of being just a thing between the two handsome men a bit more pleasing than it should be.

"Now," Simon says, gripping you suddenly by the waist and lifting without warning. He sets you onto a wooden table, then spreads your legs. "Women's clothing can be quite annoying to work around, but the end result is more than worth it. Hold your skirts for us, love, thattagirl."

You're silent as you take the layers of clothing from your husband, afraid that if you speak you'll simply burst into flames. Exposing yourself to a man like this is difficult enough in the dark of your bedchamber, it feels near impossible in front of Johnny and in broad daylight.

But you can feel the way your center grows slick, so you obey your husband.

"Now, Johnny, kneel here, in front of me."

Johnny nearly scrambles to where Simon gestures, almost throwing himself to his knees in front of you. He's left between your thighs and Simon's legs, your husband almost stradling his back.

Simon laughs a bit. "Eager, are we?"

"Yes- yes, sir." Johnny pants a bit, staring up at you from the floor. He can't seem to decide whether he'd like to look at your undergarments or your face, eyes flicking between the two.

"Good lad," Simon brushes a hand over the back of Johnny's head, palming it. "Now, you'll have to take off her undergarments before anything else."

You shift a little in your spot as Johnny reaches up tentatively, eyebrows slightly furrowed. His hands brush over your bottom half for several long seconds, and you start to shift a little more, near whining.

"Hurry now, Johnny, you'll drive the poor thing mad."

He adopts an almost determined expression, and a moment later you hear a rip and feel a breeze against your most sensitive parts.

"Johnny!" You scold, leaning far enough forward to glare down at the man.

He flinches a little, sinking away. "I'm sorry, my lady. I didn't know how else to get them off!"

"You never destroy a woman's clothing like that! You're not off to a very good start so far."

You regret the words a bit when Johnny's face drops, his lip poking out in a slight pout.

Simon laughs, shifting to rub a hand over your bared knee. "Let up on him, darling, he's inexperienced. Besides, it's rather easy to make up for a few ripped seams."

You glare lightly at Simon, just to make sure he knows you're unamused, then lean back to relax against the wall. "Well, then you'd better get started."

Johnny looks up at Simon, neck craning back. "How...?"

Another rough chuckle from your husband, and he shoves Johnny forward by the back of the head until his face is buried between your thighs.

"Oh!" You yelp.

"With your mouth, Johnny. Trust me, it's far easier to learn to use your tongue like this than it is to learn how a lady likes her apologies."

You shoot an unimpressed look up to Simon, but it quickly melts off your face when you feel Johnny's lips and nose press to your center. He doesn't really do anything, just sort of stays there.

You shift again, try to press forward.

"Lick her, Johnny," Simon explains, putting a bit more pressure on the back of the stablehand's head. A moment later, there's a tentative brush across your folds.

You jolt a bit at the first tough, then relax into the second. Johnny's clumsy but confident, and you spread your legs a bit wider so he can fully explore you.

"Lift your skirts a bit further, love, I can't see," Simon instructs, leaning over so he's hovering directly above Johnny. You obey, and your husband hums as the view.

"Do you see the little bud at the top there, Johnny? Focus in on that, it's what gives women pleasure."

Johnny's evidently a quick study, as he focuses his attentions onto your clitoris as soon as the instructions are out of Simon's mouth. "Oh!" You gasp, back shooting up from the wall.

It takes him several long minutes to figure out what keeps you moaning in pleasure rather than whining in frustration, but once he does he keeps his tongue stroking in just the right way to make you go boneless.

"Attaboy, there you go," Ghost praises, stroking over the stripe of hair on Johnny's head. "Hear her moanin'? That means you're making' her feel good, so keep going."

He's a good listener, Johnny, and you're nearly brought to a peak with just his tongue alone.

"Add a finger now," Simon says.

Johnny pulls back just far enough for you to see his confusion. "A finger, sir?"

Simon huffs out a laugh, reaching down to grab Johnny's right wrist and pull it to your bared core. "Yes, Johnny, a finger. You put one or two into her hole to stretch her out enough to take you. Now, you won't be fucking my wife today, but the stretch will still feel good for her."

The way he talks about you like you're not even there combined with the sudden slow stretch of Johnny's fingers has you moaning. If you were even slightly more aware of anything but the two men in front of you, you'd worry about being heard. As it is, the attention returning to your clit keeps you suitably distracted.

Simon scoffs in front of you, tugging Johnny's hair a bit in reprimand. "You have to move the finger, boy, you can't just set it in there and do nothing. C'mon, push it in and out a bit."

"Yes, sir," Johnny pants, glancing up at you past all the skirts. "Sorry, my lady."

"That's- that's alright," you excuse, trying to keep your voice steady. Judging by the smirk on your husband's face, you're not particularly successful.

You let yourself float off in the pleasure for a bit, smiling gently at the cautious movements of Johnny's finger - he almost seems scared to hurt you, and you can't help but be endeared to the stablehand all over again.

"Look at that," Simon sighs, his hand moving further up on your thigh. "Hear how wet she is? Means she's ready for another finger. Go on, Johnny. Stretch her out some more."

The two fingers are enough to get you off - all that attention focused right on your clit and just enough of a stretch for you to feel. You come with quiet moans, shifting your hips forward into Johnny's lips as much as you can.

He doesn't slow or change his motions at all, and you ride the orgasm to completion happily. After, though, you can't help but whine at the overstiumlation.

"Alright, pull off now, Johnny. You hear those noises? Those mean she doesn't feel good anymore."

Johnny almost jerks away from you, glancing up at you with wide eyes. "I'm sorry, my lady," he quickly apologizes, rising up on his knees to get closer as you drop your skirts. "I didn't meant to hurt you."

You smile softly at him, reaching down to cup his cheek. "You didn't, Johnny, it's alright. Just a bit too much."

He nods as he leans into your hold, and the three of you rest in silence for a few moments.

Eventually Simon tugs you off of the table, pulling both you and Johnny into his arms for a half-hug. It's nice - your husband isn't too much of a fan of physical contact, so you relish in it when you can.

Johnny coughs a bit with a blush when you all three finally seperate. "So... when's my next lesson?"

You smirk as you loop arms with Simon, both of you sharing an amused glance.

"Come to our chambers anytime, Johnny," you offer, patting him on the chest before stepping away. "I'm sure my husband wouldn't mind giving a longer demonstration on how to fully pleasure a woman."

You leave a red-faced Johnny in the stables with tented pants, both you and Simon chuckling to yourselves as you head back to the manor.

[character-smash-or-pass-3]

"scraggly man my beloved"

"Hi, blog runner here: I fucking love him. He's a right fucking dick. I love him <3"

[vakenart]

I COME BACK FROM THE DEAD AND OFFER YOU THIS !!! A WILD TIMOTHY APPEARS!!!

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 21

This past winter, Geralt grabbed a tower of books from the library and holed himself up in his room for practically the entire season. Eskel walks in one night, intent on just checking in on his brother, only to poke around and find that every book that Geralt is painstakingly studying is medical books, from how to deal with a sore throat to the most rarest of diseases. Eskel asks Geralt why he needs to know all of this, worried Geralt might be losing his mutagen-induced healing factor?! Is he getting sick!? Are his wounds not healing over time!? Oh GODS! Oh nvm- Geralt says he's fine :) He's reading all of this because... He met a human bard he wants to keep safe? Odd... Especially for Geralt... But whatever makes his brother happy! I just want a scene after some nice gay brotherly teasing that's like "Ow- Oh no.. Geralt, my arm was scratched by a branch. Hold on, I need to-" And geralt is like FROTHING and is like "WE NEED BANDAGES, THREAD, A NEEDLE, DISINFECTANT, NUMBING SOLUTION, AND I KNOW FOURTEEN DIFFERENT NATURALLY MADE POULTICES I CAN MAKE, AND I KNOW A HELPFUL SPELL A HEDGEWITCH CAN CAST AND-" "It's just a scratch, Gera-" "SHIT, SIT DOWN, I GOTTA FIX MY HUMAN BEFORE HE DIES AND I LOSE ONE OF THE ONLY GOOD THINGS IN MY LIFE"