#sorry about that but i just needed to get it off my chest. my family and friends dont understand everything that i talk about
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
*𝑾𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒔*
Pairing: Minho x Reader (Fem)
Genre: Fluff (tiny tiny angst)
Warnings: Nothing really? Just mooshy yapping. Minho is just bad with his words. Sorry for any mistakes or missing warnings
A/N: this came out a little shorter than I wanted but I think it’s still cute.
This Request had prompts from my second prompt list: 17.) “I’m not blushing, I’m just hot” 29.) “That’s not what I said”
-🖤
Hand in hand walking down the side walk with your boyfriend. He stopped at your favorite ice cram place on your walk trying to find a nice place to sit. You both talked as you ate your ice cream, you could see he had something on his mind though. You didn’t wanna pry at least not yet. As the night air started to get colder and it started to get later as you kept talking.
You loved these nights, the nights he was all yours where you could spend time with him. These nights were those from movies where it just felt like the two of you. “Y/n you know I like you a lot right?” He said softly braking the calm silence.
“Yeah” you said with a little giggle.
“Well I- I-“ he stuttered out he wouldn’t look at you making you feel your heart drop a small bit. Oh. Oh no.. was he about to dump you? Did he bring you out here to break up with you?
“I just- uugh I don’t know how to say this” he said getting up he paced a small bit still not looking at you. He was frustrated, he wasn’t the best at words and especially right now when they weren’t coming out properly. He had this all planned out words he kept repeating so he wouldn’t get it wrong. And here he was. Messing it up.
“Y/n I don’t like you” he blurted out his words making his eyes go wide. What? He literally just said he liked you? What was happening? You felt your heart just shatter, hanging your head down feeling the tears prick at your eyes.
“Just do it, break up with me, just get it over with” you stuttered out as the tears started to fall.
He was frantic, he sat down below you trying to calm you down. “That’s not what I said- I mean I did say that but I didn’t mean it like that-“ he babbled out. All the words that were floating around his head but none could come out properly, nothing would come out.
“What else could you mean minho? You said it- you don’t like me” you said trying to wipe your eyes choking back anymore tears. You got up quickly trying to walk away before he grabbed ahold of you. Pulling you to his chest wrapping his arms around you. He held onto you tightly feeling like you were floating away from him. Seeing you cry his heart was breaking from his own bad choice of words.
“No no no please wait I didn’t mean it like that, y/n I fuck y/n I love you- I don’t like you I love you-“ he choked out feeling like he was gonna cry himself. “I’m sorry I- I’m so bad at this I’ve-“ he started.
You smacked his arm “you need to work on your choice of words asshole” you said with a frown.
“I know I know I’m sorry, I just- I wanted to make it perfect I had a whole thing I wanted to say and try and be cute and I fucked it up. Please I’m sorry for making you cry” his words coming out fast and mumbled.
He clung onto you holding you tightly “I just really love you” he breathed out. “I’ve never felt like I could say those words to anyone besides friend and family but you came and- y/n I love you I’m sorry I’m dumb” he said looking up at you with a small tear falling.
“I love you too dummy” you said softly wiping his tear away his head leaning into your touch.
“I’m sorry for messing-“ he started to say before you cut him off.
“Stop apologizing it’s ok, I know it’s hard for you to get your words out especially for something like this” you said sweetly. Thumb rubbing against his cheek your eyes looking at him fondly. “Something I love about you is I know when you finally get the words out is that I know you thought about them carefully, trying to get it perfect”
“So you really love me too?” He said softly.
“Minho, I’ve wanted to say it for so long, yes. I love you. I love you so much. You make me so happy” you say with a warm smile. Seeing you smile made his aching heart melt now. He loved that smile.
His face starts heating up turning all shades of red and pink. You’ve never seen him blush so much and you couldn’t help but giggle “ooh I got you all blushy, look at how red you are” you teased.
“I’m not- I’m not blushing- it’s just really hot out here” he said pouting a bit.
“Min it’s cold out here nice try” you said with another giggle.
“I take back what I said you’re a bully” he said still pouting.
“Nope, Minho loves me! You can’t take it back.” You teased more.
He buried his face into the crook of your neck holding onto you somehow even tighter. “I couldn’t take it back even if I tried, I love you.. I love you a lot y/n so much it scares me” he admit.
“Well don’t be scared cause I feel the same way, and you’re not getting rid of me that easy” you said kissing his head.
“Good” he said softly.
“Now let’s go get another ice cream?” You said making him laugh.
“Fine, I guess you deserve another one after I made you cry”
“Definitely and I think I deserve a kiss too”
He smiled leaning up to kiss you lovingly. “Mm even sweeter than the ice cream” you said with almost heart eyes. His face turning that same reddish again.
God did he love you, he loved everything about you. He’d make it up to you, think of the perfect date to ‘retry’. He needed to make it perfect to show you how much he loved you.
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
💙 If you’d like to read more of my stuff you can find it Here: Master List . Thank you for reading and if requests are open or you just wanna talk feel free to send me something🩵
Taglist: @satosugu4l @do-you-remember-summer-127 @xines16 @minh0scat @troublemaker02 @tr-mha-fan n @lunearta @velvetmoonlght @minghaosimp @ldysmfrst @felixleftchickennugget
#stray kids#skz#stray kids scenarios#lee know scenarios#skz scenarios#Lee know#stray kids drabble#stray kids fluff#stray kids angst#stray kids x reader#stray kids fanfic#lee know x reader#lee know drabble#lee know fanfic#lee know angst#Lee know fluff#bangchan#changbin#han jisung#hyunjin#jeongin#seungmin#lee Felix#kpop drabble#kpop angst#kpop fluff
158 notes
·
View notes
Text
Wowowow!! 😍 First of all, thanks so much. You really spoiled me with this review and it totally made my day!
I find it really interesting that this fic is the first one you've read from me, since it's such a "niche" pairing. But I love that you loved it (and my writing 🥰)!! Christmas is my favorite holiday too -- in no small part because of the food! lol I had fun incorporating my family's traditions into this one, and of course, feeding Dean. 😆
Diving into the rest of your amazing (and hilarious) comments below!
(you should know as I'm typing this I am daydreaming about the flan, you should just straight up know that LOL)
Giiiirl, get you some flan! My mom makes it so good. I can't wait for the holidays. 😮💨
I am happily being led while pushing Dean out of the way to get to it first. Lovingly of course lol.
lolll I'm dead! I can picture Dean's (playful) outrage. 😂
Not going to lie, I'd be giving Sam a little bit of the stink eye myself. What is so wrong with Dean enjoying himself a little? Besides...give me ALL the flan!!! Sam doesn't know what he's missing.
Right? Don't bother the man on Christmas lmao. Sam ate plenty on this round too, he has no room to judge! 😆
This right here is perfection. It made my heart break for Dean as well as Sam for their childhood, what Dean had to sacrifice at times to take care of Sam, how Sam never realized it before...just so perfectly written and so on point.
Aww thank you. It was an HC of mine that stemmed from bits we got of their childhood, and that one ep where someone was like, "You ever been hungry? Like haven't eaten in days, hungry?" And Dean was like, "Yeah..." 😭😭
I feel like from Sam's POV, he would never have known hunger with Dean around, even when things were tight and they were waiting on John.
Moments like this are worth melting for. 😉 (seriously though, I'm pretty sure I have to call someone to get the wetvac to get me up off of the floor)
LOLL honestly same! Oh for Dean to gather me to his chest in a warm snuggle. 🫠🫠
The whole ending scene just makes my heart glad, especially with her offering to go for a walk with Dean, most likely keeping in mind what Sam said (while Sam is keeping what she said in mind - like I said, perfection!) , but I especially loved the ending sequence right here:
Ahhh you caught what I was laying down there! She cares about Dean's health, but she also cares about his happiness. While Sam's now going to be taking what she said into account and try to have a convo with his brother about it in the future.
Ahaha and he so DOES wear shorts when the need arises! 😏
This was just beyond sweet and it was something I very much needed back when I read through it the first time. (I'm sorry I didn't leave feedback until now! I'm trying to be better about that these days) I love the way you write the Winchesters and this one shot cemented you as one of my favorite writers I've come across in this fandom (as well as a few others 😉).
Aww I'm so glad this little fic could give you some much needed escapism. (It's ok, friend. I'm just grateful that you did!) And that's an amazing compliment, thank you!! I'm honored to be counted as one of your favorites! 😭💜
I definitely cannot wait to dive into the Midnight Espresso verse and get more of these two. You did a beautiful job here, lovely!!! Well done!!! 😊💖💖
I would absolutely love it if you delved deeper into the Midnight Espresso verse!! It's a passion series of mine, so it really means that much more to me that you enjoyed it, as well as left such a heartfelt review. 💕
Get Stuffed
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Plus-sized Latina!Reader
Summary: Dean enjoys the way you cook Christmas dinner with a Latin flair, even if Sam likes to tease him about his insatiable appetite. You remind Sam about the true reason behind one of Dean’s biggest quirks.
AN: This was requested by my lovely friend @iprobablyshipit91: Sam making the usual digs at Dean about his diet, and how much he eats, and the reader pulling him aside and telling him to back off as he doesn’t realize how much Dean went hungry as a kid to make sure Sam was fed.
Word Count: 1,800 Tags/Warnings: Fluff, innuendo, tinge of angst
**This story can be read as stand-alone, but you can also check out the full masterlist of one-shots below. ⤵️
☕ Midnight Espresso Masterlist
“Aw, hell yeah,” Dean mutters. He rubs his hands together and surveys the immovable feast that’s about to get shoveled into his mouth.
This Christmas marks roughly your first year living with the brothers Winchester in the bunker, and a few months after your first anniversary with Dean.
He’s made it very clear that he enjoys your cooking, especially of Cuban food. So you’ve gone all out for Christmas: white rice and your grandmother’s recipe for black beans, boiled yuca with plenty of garlic, bread drizzled with more garlic and olive oil, and Dean’s favorite…
“What’s this part of the pig called again?” he asks. And he uses a large fork to spear into the mountain of roasted meat that you’ve already cut and piled onto a platter.
You come in from the kitchen with the bread in hand, placing it on the dinner table. You sidle up behind him, where he's seated.
“The shoulder,” you say, squeezing both of Dean’s. He hums in interest as you press a kiss to the side of his head. “It’s called pernil. Marinated with garlic, mojo, bunch of good stuff.”
He predictably steals a juicy piece of meat, plopping it into his mouth. He grins while he chews and makes a happy sound.
“Ohoho, yeah.”
You share an amused look with Sam, who sits beside his brother. By the time you’ve found your seat on Dean’s other side, he’s already serving you and Sam the same hefty portions he serves himself.
You know for a fact you’re only going to eat about half of your plate. Sam manages to polish his off. Dean does as well…and serves himself twice more before you break out the dessert.
“Please tell me that’s a flan,” Dean says, drumming his fingers on the table.
“How the hell are you still hungry?” Sam asks.
The look on his face says he’s half entertained, half disgusted. Dean is still sucking on the crispy skin on a piece of pork. He licks the juices off his fingers.
“Have I taught you nothing?” he says. “There’s always room for dessert.”
He tosses you a wink, followed closely by a suggestive smirk. You glance at him with a smile as you set down the metal pan.
“It is a flan,” you affirm. “I tried my hand at coconut this time.”
“Ooh, tropical,” Dean says, waggling greasy fingers. He wipes them on a napkin before he reaches for the pie cutter, which is usually reserved for his favorite dessert. Although, flan is rapidly becoming his second go-to. The rich custardy goodness is calling to him like a siren song.
“How can I get you to make this more often?” Dean mutters while carving out a generous slice.
Your lips curve. You rest your chin on your hand and lean towards him, earning his gaze. “If I made it all the time, you wouldn’t savor it, now would you?”
Dean smirks. His gaze lowers to your lips, like he’s contemplating some persuasive maneuvers.
“You’d also be 300 pounds,” Sam remarks, taking a sip of his beer.
You eye Sam with a frown. But Dean just laughs it off and cuts his little brother a slice.
By the end of the meal, all three of you are stuffed. Dean groans and leans back in his seat. A gurgle mounts audibly from his stomach.
“Jesus. Are you erupting?” Sam says.
Dean holds up a finger. “Wait for it.”
You give your boyfriend a bemused look. You know exactly what’s about to happen. As does Sam, who’s grimacing.
A few seconds later, Dean does erupt, with a truly legendary belch.
“Nice,” you say wryly. Dean squeezes your soft, thick thigh and backs his chair away from the table.
“Well, since I roasted the pig and you did the rest, I’d say it’s Sammy’s turn on cleaning duty,” he says.
“Thanks,” Sam says, with a wan smile. Yours is more jovial, even as Dean’s hand toys with a curl of your hair after he stands.
“I’m gonna shower off the meat sweats,” he says.
You giggle, but you nod. “You do that. I’ll help Sam a bit, put away the food at least.”
Your smile becomes more genuine when Dean drops a kiss on your forehead from above.
“Thanks, sweetheart,” he says. His voice is a quiet, deep rumble washing over you. You know what he’s thanking you for: good food, and a small, but warm Christmas.
You reach up and give his cheek a tender touch, before he withdraws and makes his way to the bedroom he shares with you. It leaves you and Sam to collect what’s on the table and bring it all into the kitchen. While Sam does the dishes, you start to put away the leftovers.
Something has been nagging at you all night, though you’ve tried to stamp it down time and time again. You don’t know if it's your place to say something. Especially if Dean doesn’t seem bothered…but it bothers you. And you’ve never been one to hold your tongue.
“Hey, can I ask you something?” you begin, even as a small bit of trepidation niggles inside you.
Sam looks over at you. He’s quick to catch the serious note in your demeanor.
“Yeah, what’s up?” he replies. You okay? his eyes also ask.
“Why do you get on Dean so much for enjoying his food?” you ask.
Sam blinks. Then he scoffs a little. “There’s enjoying, and then there’s gluttony.”
“He’s not that bad,” you argue.
“He ate half his weight in pig,” Sam says. You can’t exactly deny that, but you cross your arms and turn to him, leaning your hip against the counter.
“So? It’s Christmas. Let him be happy,” you retort.
Sam levels you with pinched brows. “He’s not in his 20s anymore. All that crap he eats is going to catch up to him someday.”
“What, you expect him to down some kale smoothies?” you reply, giving a pointed brow raise and a teasing smile. “Get up at the crack of dawn for a bare-chested run?”
Sam shoots you a dry look.
“My point is, I’m not gonna survive hundreds of monster attacks just to get taken down by cholesterol,” he says.
You sigh a raise a placating hand. “All right. I get what you’re saying. I’m just saying…have you ever thought about why he loves food so much? Why he overindulges sometimes?”
Sam's brow quirks. It’s a question you know you need to tread lightly in order to answer. You uncross your arms to lay a hand on Sam’s wrist. He stops washing dishes and turns off the sink to give you his full attention, sensing your shift.
You look up at him, and you steel yourself.
“He might’ve mentioned once…that you two sometimes had a hard time growing up. With John taking you guys from motel to motel while he was working a job, and every now and then, leaving you guys alone longer than he meant to.”
Dean had been more than a bit drunk when you’d gotten this out of him. Hearing about that aspect of his upbringing had upset you, not just as someone who cared about him, but the caretaker in you smarted.
“Even though you guys didn’t have enough money at times, your brother always made sure you were fed,” you explain. You meet Sam’s gaze, squeezing his arm. “Sometimes he went without.”
Sam’s expression slowly slackens, contemplative and dismayed at what you’re implying. He dries his hands on a kitchen towel and rubs at his mouth, like he’s reeling back the years of evidence in his mind and trying to confirm if you were right.
“You don’t remember?” you gently ask.
Sam shakes his head. “I mean, I knew things were tight. I remember him taking care of me, obviously. But…”
He doesn’t remember his brother going hungry.
It carves a hole of remorse in his chest.
This isn’t the first time he’s had to reexamine Dean’s role in his life, and not the first time he’s felt this flavor of guilt. But he sighs and really doesn’t know what to say.
You seem to realize that, and you squeeze his arm one last time.
“Just keep that in mind,” you implore.
You soon leave him to venture upstairs, but there in the kitchen, Sam makes a resolution before the new year. One that includes having a conversation with his brother.
You find Dean in your bedroom. Now in his most threadbare sweatpants and an old black shirt, he lays over the covers on the bed. His eyes are closed and his arms are folded behind his head, but he hears you when you come in.
You slide into bed next to him and lay your head on his chest. He groans deep and slowly lowers his arms. One of them wraps around your frame.
“Think I overdid it a bit,” he admits, cracking his eyes open. You smile and gently pat his stomach.
“Wanna go for a walk tomorrow?” you ask. “We can go down to the park.”
Dean raises a brow at you. “You hate walking.”
“Not true,” you shake your head, before you rest more comfortably against him. He tucks you in beside him and begins to run his fingers down your arm. It’s a bit distracting.
“Could be nice, with the right view,” you add, though you shiver a little at his touch.
Dean makes a sound of mild interest in the idea. “I guess, if you like stringy trees and frozen lakes.”
It’s winter in Lebanon. Not much to look at.
You smirk and press a kiss to his chest. “I mean, that, and you in some little Richard Simmons shorts.”
Dean gives you a look, and you giggle so hard it shakes your whole body against him.
“Honestly, I think that’ll really do it for me,” you tease. You walk two fingers across his thigh, where a cute pair of ‘80s-style exercise shorts would cut off.
Dean grabs your hand and rolls you over, pinning you underneath him on the bed. His thigh slips between both of yours, causing friction against your jeans. And he smirks down at you.
“Sweetheart, I don’t do shorts.”
AN: 😂 A little callback to S1 at the end there. I hope you guys liked this! Just in time to prepare for my Christmas cooking! ❤️💚
Keep Reading:
Next up in this series is "A Wish to Build a Dream On":
Summary: Dean has been harboring the archangel Michael in his mind for weeks now, putting a strain on your relationship as you struggle to help him. When Dean makes a wish that accidentally brings his father back from the dead, you get to meet the (in)famous John Winchester. But as always with magic, your boyfriend’s wish has unintended consequences.
▶️ Next Story: A Wish to Build a Dream On
Series Masterlist
Dean Winchester One-Shots
Dean Winchester Masterlist
Main Masterlist
Ko-Fi Me ☕
Dean W. Tag List:
@hobby27 @kazsrm67 @letheatheodore @agothwithheavysetmakeup @jacklesbrainworms @foxyjwls007 @wincastifer @iamsapphine @simpforbuckyb @vanillawhiskeyflavoredkisses @roseblue373 @this-is-me19 @emily-winchester @spnexploration @deans-spinster-witch @deans-baby-momma @iprobablyshipit91
@melancholictear @nic-kolas @sanscas @sleepyqueerenergy @wayward-lost-and-never-found @thewritersaddictions @just-levyy @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @deanwanddamons @antisocialcorrupt @lacilou @adoringanakin @theonlymaninthesky @teehxk @midnightmadwoman @brianochka @branj19
@agalliasi @venicesem @chriszgirl92 @lyarr24 @ladysparkles78 @solariklees @xsophianicolex @deansbbyx @candy-coated-misery0731 @curlycarley @sarahgracej @bagpussjocken @ultrahviolentart @chernayawidow @beskarfilms @mimaria420
458 notes
·
View notes
Note
Could you write a batfam story where the reader, who's in an established marriage with Bruce Wayne, accidentally triggers Jason? Perhaps the Wayne family has kept Bruce and Jason's past hardships a secret from the reader, thinking it wasn't important to discuss. However, a misunderstanding between the reader and Jason causes Jason to run away after being triggered of his pass. The rest of the family understands that it was a misunderstanding and tells the reader that Jason will come back and not to worry. They explain Jason's troubled pass with Bruce. However, the reader is consumed by so much guilt and sets out to find Jason. Literally the reader goes and searches Gotham top to bottom IN THE MIDDLE OF A HURRICANE! 😭The reader ends up locating Jason in a warehouse, where Jason’s freezing and the rain is pouring right through. More happens but I want the story to like end where the reader and Jason are crying together in the pouring rain and Jason realizes that he now has a loving dad that would do anything to ensure his and his brothers safety. And like the reader brings Jason back to the manor and everyone else is thinking to themselves like damn, (y/n) really is the best thing to happen to this family, literally the damn glue. Or something… like if (y/n) wasn’t there to save Jason he could have been dead… again.
I am sorry this is so long… i just couldn’t stop thinking of this story dynamic 😊
Oh, my jay bird... Of course I can do it... My poor bird. Also, 2k followers? Why thank you. Also, taking some time off to focus on college because I have some shit coming up. To say lightly.
Summary: The family didn't tell (Y/N) about Jason's trauma. And that causes problems and some broken hearts.
Warnings: Mentions of Jason's past, but nothing graphic, (Y/N) is done with emotional constipation from everyone, but he still loves them a lot, also hurricane.
(Y/N) has been in the family for a few years now. Married with the patriarch of the family, Bruce Wayne, was the best decision he has ever made. Bruce, while known to the public as a playboy at the time, abandoned that mindset, all for (Y/N). Boys accepted (Y/N), once they saw that (Y/N) wasn't marrying Bruce for money. (Y/N) will be marrying him for love.
Were there a few hiccups with Bruce being Batman and all the nightly patrols? Yes. However, (Y/N) and Bruce worked through it. And more importantly, (Y/N) essentially adopted all of the boys as his own. He saw them as his own sons rather than looking at them as their stepsons. And besides, saying that they are his sons brings (Y/N) an indescribable amount of happiness. And besides, living with 4 boys is always fun.
(Y/N) knew about their trauma, but what no one told him was the trauma that Jason went through. He had a vague idea, but never knew exactly. He didn't feel qualified to prod around in anyone's head, anyone's mind, but he made sure to let them all know that if they need to talk about something, get something off of their chest, he is the person they can come to talk to.
And it has happened a few times. Sometimes they would come after a nightmare, squeezing between (Y/N) and Bruce, looking for comfort. Now, everyone was unsure as to what to call him. Batdad or mother hen... That one remains to be determined soon enough by the boys.
It was a tough day for everyone in the household and everyone was ready to straight up murder each other. (Y/N) had an awful day at work, Bruce had a bad day as a CEO and as Batman, well, the Batman part was only the night before, but has moved onto the day. The other boys had difficult days at school and at patrol. Jason had a big problem with his nightmares and flashbacks. Not to mention, Gotham was expecting a hurricane to come over and just sweep over it. It shouldn't be bad and there shouldn't be any damage besides any heavy rain.
Gotham natives are used to rains, whether they be small drizzles or storms. However, Bruce worried about it and made sure to get enough supplies, just in case. Safe to say, everyone was on absolute edge. Closed into the same house, despite it being a manor and absolutely huge, tension could be cut with a knife.
And then, Jason and (Y/N) started fighting. It started off as bickering, but then it turned into a fight where hurtful things were said towards each other. Jason, mentally pushed to the limit by the nightmares and flashbacks has had enough and went to his car. He drove off and (Y/N) was fuming still.
But...
When the anger went away, (Y/N) was mortified. Completely and utterly mortified. He essentially crushed whatever relationship he had with Jason. Words hurt more than any punches and any kicks. No matter what Jason went through, (Y/N) was sure that Jason was hurting like hell now.
(Y/N) couldn't stop pacing in the living room, wondering what is happening to Jason at this very moment. A hurricane is going to pass through soon enough, Jason went to God knows where and (Y/N)'s own heart was breaking apart.
" (Y/N), love, you need to calm down. Jason will be fine. He just needs space. "
" Space?! In the middle of a hurricane?! " (Y/N) now yelled, upset beyond belief. He has upset his son and he was telling him to calm down? He might kick Bruce out of their bed.
Bruce then talked about all the trauma that Jason went through, before he adopted him, after he adopted him at the hands of Joker. (Y/N) was now absolutely mortified.
" Father is right. Jason needs some time to cool off. " Damian said in passing, making (Y/N) throw his hands up in the air.
" Is anyone in this damn house emotionally available?! "
Tim shrugged from the sofa and (Y/N) took a deep breath. Bruce watched intently and he could see what (Y/N) was thinking.
" Do not tell me you are going out there. " Bruce said as (Y/N) put his jacket and shoes on.
Dick and Damian paused to watch the entire thing unfold. Tim looked up from his tablet.
" I am. Jason is my son and I'm going to get him back. Tim, track Jason's phone and send me the location. " (Y/N) said, ignoring Bruce. Bruce rubbed his forehead. (Y/N) is a stubborn bastard when he wants to be. And does Bruce love him for it? Yes. Is it annoying sometimes? Yes.
" There is a hurricane! " Tim yelled after (Y/N) as he stormed out.
" (Y/N)! " Bruce yelled after his husband, but it was too late. (Y/N) was already out the door.
" He's nuts, " Damian said underneath his breath.
" And I married him, " Bruce added.
Jason has started to regret the fact that he has decided to even come out here. Sure, (Y/N) and him got into a fight, nasty things were said, but it would be better if he has just stormed up to his room and slammed his door shut. That would have been a better option than this. This damp warehouse, where there was leaking rain wherever you looked...
Jason was shivering, teeth chattering. Cold probably seeped right to his bones. Hypothermia was also on its way too, Jason had no doubt about it. He leaned back against the wall, curling into himself as much as he could and allowed himself to think about what happened with (Y/N), his dad in a way.
They were all on edge from the hurricane, supplies, wifi and all that stuff was needed just in case. Bruce made sure to make the manor proof of any natural disasters. Gotham wouldn't be hit that badly, so there was no need for evacuation, but there was advice to be cautious about it. Everyone was on edge as it is from being cooped up together too much, since Bruce didn't want them to stray too far, just in case.
And Jason being in a foul mood from his nightmares already, he didn't like this one bit. He wanted to be alone, but no. Common areas are a must according to Bruce. So the fight happened and both of them said really hurtful things to each other. And Jason felt guilty. He knew that emotions took over them both, but still... (Y/N) was always trying to be good to them all.
It was wrong.
Jason looked up at the door when he heard a slam. It could be wind. Or maybe someone trying to find shelter?
What Jason didn't expect was (Y/N), wet to the bone, looking around frantically. When his eyes fell on Jason, he sighed in relief.
" Oh Jay, I've been looking for you everywhere! Are you okay?! " (Y/N) ran up to Jason, quickly kneeling down to check to see if he had any injuries. Jason was touched... To have a genuine parent, a loving parent, alongside Bruce, but Bruce is a bit emotionally constipated so (Y/N) is essentially everything that the boys need.
" Bruce told me what you've been through... And now I know why you ran, what made you so upset. It was a combination of everything plus the hurricane. "
Jason nodded and (Y/N) hugged him tightly. Jason hugged him back just as tightly, if not more.
And the two broke down in tears, holding onto each other tightly.
Bruce was pacing in the living room, worried about (Y/N) and Jason. He should have gone after Jason too. He shouldn't have been so stupid. He should have chased Jason down the moment he left the mansion. But no, he's too emotionally constipated to deal with this. Great. Absolutely great.
He flipped his head around when he heard the front door open and then close and then two sets of footsteps. Jason and (Y/N) stepped into the living room, both soaked to the bone.
" Bruce, " (Y/N) said calmly and Bruce had a feeling he would be kicked out of the bedroom.
" (Y/N)... Are you two okay? " Bruce asked softly and (Y/N) nodded, smiling at Jason.
" We are B. Jay, go down to the Batcave. Take a warm shower and get changed into warm clothes. I'm sure the others are there too." (Y/N) softly nudged Jason to get going.
Jason took the hint and went to the Batcave. Once he was gone, Bruce turned to (Y/N).
" I'm sorry. I truly am. I should have gone after him, but I was- "
" Stupid? Yeah. Clearly. But I'm willing to forgive. I assume that the cots are ready? "
" Yup. I prepared you warm clothes, some earplugs so that you can't be awaken by the bats. And also a mask so that you won't be awoken by the lights of the cave. You know, reflectors, Batcomputer... Come on. " Bruce gently lead his cold and wet husband to the Batcave. " A warm shower is in order too. "
(Y/N) rolled his eyes, knowing that he will be forced into a warm shower, warm and dry clothes and an intense cuddling session, where Bruce won't let go, out of fear and love... How did he even marry into this crazy family?
#dc x male reader#dc comics#x male reader#batfamily#bruce wayne x male reader#batman x male reader#jason todd x male reader#red hood x male reader
53 notes
·
View notes
Text
Astray far Away Ch4
Adar x reader | SMUT🔞 | Ch.3
Sexy bath times and rowdy kids! An eventful day for our Lord Father and his companion.
AKA the chapter took on a will of its own and accepted a sidequest or two instead of moving on.
Morning came way too quick.
And so did the frantic knocking on your door that had you groaning in frustration.
“Just come in, I’m decent.”
It was Grasho, shouldering her way through the door with two bowls of food and a stack of clothes hung over her shoulder.
“Morning! Got food and simple dresses.” She was quick to place the food on a table and toss the clothes onto the bed where you sat.
“Food or cloth first?” The question was asked but waiting for an answer was not in the cards as Grasho already reached for the new garments she brought.
“Please, food first. I need a second to wake up before I get up and be active.” You mimicked her energy, making grabby hands at the bowls from where you sat on the mattress. “I am seriously starving, thanks.” With the bowl in your hands you happily ate in silence, chowing down the broth even faster than Grasho finished hers.
“Woah. You eat good for a mortal!” With a satisfied noise she put her empty bowl away and was up on her feet. “Now we fit! Got lots to do today.” Grasho rubbed her hands together so she wouldn’t be immediately grabbing at your clothes again. Boundaries. She learned.
You worked through the pile dhe brought easily, no longer feeling that nagging panic with having to undress in front of her. She paid your bare chest no attention and kindly turned away when you changed your trousers for proper undergarments.
All the items Grasho brought you fit perfectly and soon enough she almost shoved you out the door with the order to go find Adar. “You go see Lord Father. Still need a bath. And wound checks.”
You barely got a chance to grab Adar’s tunic before you were out the door and on your way to his tent, wishing Grasho a good day as she went back to her workshop.
Finding Adar’s tent was easy enough and luckily you found him as well.
“Adar? Do you have time?” You approached him with care and kept a safe distance so as to not intrude.
“I hear you almost fought last night. Krod defended you after you spoke kindly of the uruk.” He leaned back in his chair and watched you.
“I’m sorry if I caused any disturbance, I tried my hardest to ignore them but..” The event was still clear in your mind and gnawing at you. With a quiet sniffle you looked at the ground. “The names they called me. The things they implied I did, I snapped. I’m sorry..” You were clutching the black tunic to your chest as you tried your hardest not to cry like a weakling in front of your leader.
“From what I heard they called you a harlot, yes? Implying you spent time with Glûg’s family for pleasure.” He looked you over once, twice. You wore new garments like he suggested. The tunic he gave you wrapped tightly in your arms.
“You are always allowed to cause a scene. My children see you as an equal. A part of the family.” Adar had gotten up and grabbed his sword and dagger, along with a bag he stuffed with supplies. “You came by to ask about that bath, yes?”
You let Adar lead the way through and out of the town, further towards the mountain and into a tree-littered area. It was all just as gray and ashen as your village, burned trees and all. And, steam? Fog?
Then, it all came into view behind the trees. Adar had taken you to a hot spring.
“Mortals prefer privacy when bathing. I did not get that wrong, did I?” Near the rocks beside the spring Adar placed down his bag and unpacked the supplies he brought. He gave you time and space to do what you needed, not looking as you undressed and only turning back once you cleared him to do so.
“You can look, it’s okay.” Your gentle voice had him turn to face the water and sit down at the edge of it, taking off his boots and rolling up the legs of his trousers.
As his legs lowered into the water Adar let out a groan, the heat of the water relieving some of his aches.
“You’re welcome to join me fully, if you’d like. I don't mind.” You moved closer to him, raising yourself partially out of the water and fidgeted with the bandages to get them off now that they had soaked for a moment.
“Let me assist you with that.” Adar beckoned you over when you couldn’t find the start of the wrapping. With careful hands he unwrapped it, layer by layer and rinsed the remains of the dried medicine.
The cuts had all closed up, only a few scabs remaining over risen pink lines that spelled out his name. His touch lingered and your hand found his, taking it off your skin and placing it back on your chest.
“I invited you in for more than just to let the water soothe your aches.” When he withdrew his hand you let yourself sink further into the water again.
Adar was clearly affected by your actions. It showed in his restless movements and how he cleared his throat as he adjusted each and every part of his armor.
With a quick dive you wet your hair and moved over to Adar’s legs, coming back up only an inch away from him with your hands on his knees, pushing them apart.
“You’ve been taking care of me since I got here. At least let me return the favor.” You eyed the strain in his trousers for a moment before looking up and you could see him contemplating, and then nod.
Excited, you went to work and fumbled to open Adar’s trousers to pull him free, wrapping one hand around his length to pump him a few times before moving forward, wetting the fabric around his legs with your body.
As your tongue laps at the head of his cock Adar sighed and leaned back on his hands, watching as you worked him. Adar’s soft moans and gentle slosh of the water was all you heard with every inch you took him deeper into your mouth.
His taste was salty on your tongue, leaking with each pull of your lips. It was with great difficulty that you managed to take all of him into your mouth, the tip at the back of your throat causing you to gag.
Adar was holding back his sounds, trying to keep himself from bucking his hips into you, fingers digging into the layer of ash on the stones beneath him.
He watched as drool and tears ran down your face as you eagerly sucked him off, a hand coming to rest on your cheek.
“You know there is no need for you to do th– ahh, oh, don’t stop..” Adar’s voice cracked as your hand cupped his balls and your tongue swirled around the head of his cock, your other hand working what didn’t fit comfortably in your mouth.
Adar’s earlier soft sighs turned into full moans, unable to keep his hips still when he spilled his seed down your throat.
Only when he let go of your cheek you separated from him with a cough, having swallowed all that he gave you.
“Go wash up, I’d like to have you returned home before dark.” Adar worked to tuck himself back into his trousers and retrieved a towel for you while you washed yourself, shivering immediately from the cold air as you got out of the water.
As you stood by him, drying your hair, bare for the world to see, Adar glanced over your body. His gaze lingered and his mind replayed the words you had spoken to him.
Please.." You pulled him in closer with your heels pressed into his back, moaning as his cock hit just right inside you. "Make me a mother."
Adar’s eyes were on your stomach and he wondered. Had his seed taken root yet, or was he to try again? Would you even still want to, now that your mind wasn’t partially hazed by alcohol?
The walk home was a quiet one. Partially to Adar’s wandering mind, as well as you keeping yourself busy with sightseeing. The dull light scattered by the damaged trees gave an eerie air to the surrounding woods, but you could not keep your eyes off it. It reminded you of graphite drawings back home.
Home.
You had been so focused on the uruk and settling within their community you hadn’t even given a thought to finding if your old home was still intact. It probably wasn’t, if you took into consideration that most of the structure was wood, not even close to being as sturdy as the tavern that still partially stood despite the flaming rocks.
“Say, Adar.” You fell into step with him once more and saw you had his attention.
“Can we eh.. Can you help me find a place in town? I want to see what’s left of it.”
With an affirming nod Adar hummed in agreement.
“Where exactly was the building you seek? There is a chance it was torn down for resources.” Adar thought out loud in hope to lessen your hurt if you found the place to be gone.
You looked around and were sad to say you had no idea where in the old village you stood now with the addition of so many smaller tent homes around and other structures down and broken.
The tavern that served as your current residence was used as a starting point, looking into the direction your old home stood and started wandering.
Through the homes and workshops young uruk played. Two boys with toy swords ran and yelled in passing. Visions of the once green grass and sandy paths appeared before you as you followed your feet towards where you’d find your old home.
Your home, that was now nothing more than a lot filled with salvaged wood and stone, sorted and piled.
It hurt to see your home no longer stood, even if it was never much in the first place.
Your grief was short lived, as high pitched yelling pulled you from your thoughts and a weight suddenly slammed into your leg. A young child had clamped herself around your lower leg, trembling. Behind you more yelling sounded and you picked up the scared child and let her wrap herself around you, sharp nails digging into your skin.
“Oh crap, it's Adar. Run!” The two boys you saw earlier dropped their toys and ran off in the opposite direction, away from you and Adar who stayed at your side.
“Are you alright, little one? The boys are gone.” You stroked her coarse hair that sat in a lopsided ponytail tied with a clearly recently found, shiny ribbon.
Big, sad eyes looked up at you, tiny hands still grabbing your top as she nodded.
“Yes, lady.” She looked away from you when Adar stepped closer again after retrieving the toy swords the boys had dropped, and quickly shied away once more. Her face was hidden in the crook of your neck. “This is Myko,” Adar’s gentle voice spoke beside you, his hand coming up to rest on her back. “She loves spending time with the wargs. Wants to be a warg rider when she’s big enough.”
At the mention of her interest she peeked up once more, a glimmer in her eyes that had you play into it.
“Oh, you should show me one day! I would love to learn about the wargs.” You gently put the young girl back on her feet, letting her run off after she excitedly agreed to show you the wargs.
Turning back to Adar you noticed the toy swords in his hands. “It sounded like those two have given other kids trouble before with how fast they ran from you.” There was amusement in your tone, and in Adar’s as well.
“They are twin boys who have taken it upon themselves to cause havoc wherever they go, yes.” Adar sighed, an air of sadness clear in his eyes. “Their mother has a hard time keeping them in control.”
“Twins, huh.” You mimicked. “They didn’t look alike, from what I saw.” You stepped back into the town streets aside Adar, thinking back at the two boys. “I have to be honest here, though. I don’t think I’ve ever seen twins before in my lifetime.”
Now it was Adar who chuckled, a sound that caught you so off guard you nearly missed the hole in the ground and tripped. “You will have to get used to seeing doubles, then. Twins are common among uruk.” He made a sudden turn towards a home and handed the two wooden swords back to a woman walking with a crutch. She missed her left lower leg but moved around with practiced skill. She and Adar exchanged quick words before he moved on once more.
“You’ll find most twins to be different at first with their differences in skin, but on closer look you will find there to be many similarities. Eyes, ear shape and other features match their counterparts. Next time Lech and Kach decide to grace you with their presence, take the time to have a good look.” the conversation kept up until your paths split on your way to each of your homes. Adar had business to attend as the Lord Father of his people, and you desperately needed rest.
#sometimes i write#adar#stepdadar#adar trop#trop adar#rings of power adar#rings of power#trop#lotr#the rings of power#adar x reader#adar smut#adar imagine#adar fanfic
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
"The na'vi look too human to be believable as an alien species"
This criticism has been something I've always felt pretty blasé about; as in, I personally see no issue with their designs (love them in fact) but I can see why some people don't like them and I've never been bothered by fanmade redesigns (I find some to be rather cool actually).
However, since the release of TWOW, I've been rolling my eyes at this "critique" (nitpick imo) as well as redesigns because the movie actually provides a non-humanoid race of alien people: the Tulkun. In the film, as well as supplementary material, the Tulkun are described as being a group of people with their own culture, language, belief system, art, music, poetry and law. Sure, they're a whaling metaphor, but as opposed to portraying them as really smart whales, they're actually a native community of people.
Yet, let the people who watched the movie – fandom or otherwise – tell it, and they're just really smart big fish the Metkayina bonded with 😭 people talk about Payakan like he's a wild animal Lo'ak tamed and not a person he befriended, I've even seen fanwork where they humanize Avatar and have Payakan be a pet he adopts or a feral animal he tames and not a guy he forms a friendship with. I remember reading a oneshot where the writer claimed Lo'ak named him and I was like? No, Payakan introduced himself to him!
People claim that Ronal losing Ro'a is some sort of parallel to Neytiri losing Seze, but – not to downplay Seze's death btw – based on Ro'a being an actual person and a familial bond to Ronal, wouldn't it be more of a parallel to Neytiri losing Sylwanin? You know, her actual sister? Or her son Neteyam? It's like saying a character losing their pet hamster is the same as a another character losing their twin sister. 💀
Idk, I just wonder if the people who claim the na'vi look "too human" would have actually empathized with them if they looked more alien and less humanoid, because if the Tulkun are anything to go by, it was a great decision to anthropomorphize them because people would have dehumanized them if they hadn't been (at least, more than they already do). Audiences seem to struggle to empathize with or humanize characters that don't look anthropomorphic in any way.
Sorry for this long ass yap session 😭 this is just something that has bothered me for a while and I needed to get it off my chest.
Bonus point: It becomes more horrifying when you acknowledge that historically, indigenous and native populations having their body parts/organs harvested by colonizers and invaders for medicinal and ritualistic purposes is actually a terrifyingly common phenomenon. Indigenous people having their skulls, scalps and organs harvested by settlers, mummified egyptian people having their bodies stolen and consumed, and many more examples of this happening make it so claiming the Tulkun to be "just a whaling metaphor" feels deeply reductive. Yes, they are a whaling metaphor, but it's a lot deeper than that, yet no one acknowledges it because they look like whales I suppose.
#nobody's avatar analysis#avatar#avatar the way of water#atwow#lo'ak sully#payakan#ronal#ro'a#neytiri#seze#sylwanin#neteyam#jake sully#metkayina#tulkun#lo'ak te suli tsyeyk'itan#lo'ak avatar#omatikaya#long post#apologies for disappearing#my hyperfixation faded but it is so back now#tw; anti indigenous racism and abuse
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
Perfect...
Summary: Iand if you're looking for someone to write your breakup songs about then Billie I'm perfect. (this is written in first person from your point of view)
Trigger warnings: grief, loss, alcoholism and depression.
~~~~~
The room was loud.
Everything was suddenly very overwhelming the more shots I drank. The alcohol drowned out the sound for a while, but suddenly everything came crashing back.
I ordered another drink and looked down at my black dress, these were my funeral clothes. A wave of guilt crashed over me, I mean who goes to drink after her mother and siblings funeral?
That was the night that I met her. Piercing blue eyes and black hair. I never intended on meeting one of the most famous people on earth that night. I never intended on buying her a drink, dancing with her or kissing her in her car at stop lights.
We stayed in touch and that became a routine for us that first week. She'd pick me up at midnight and we'd go for a drive. I would roll down the windows to feel the cool air hit my face. She would talk to me about everything. Her job, her brother, her best friend just everything.
Whenever we came to a stop I would kiss her. I wondered if she could taste the alcohol on my lips. If I'm being honest with you and myself, I don't remember being sober at all.
~~~~~
The next week she tried to see me multiple times. I realized at some point I had to go back to work otherwise I'll be behind on rent so that was a perfect excuse to not see her at all.
"I'm sorry Billie I'm busy."
"I'm sorry Bills I have a lot of work to catch up on maybe another day."
Whenever she would FaceTime me I could see her heart break whenever I gave whatever excuse to not see her.
On Saturday of that week I was throwing my same old pity party. My surroundings looked so messy and pathetic. Then suddenly there was a knock at my door. I thought it was my pizza so I didn't think twice when I opened the door.
Instead of a normal delivery person there stood Billie with my pizza with a hoodie and sunglasses.
She pushed past me and into my house. I could feel her scanning her surroundings, shame bubbled in my chest.
"I don't know why you're avoiding me, but this cold shoulder is going to stop now," she said while placing the pizza down on my couch.
For the first time in a week I was sober in her presence and I felt the true weight of her comfort. I broke right then and there in her arms.
" Shhh baby I got you talk to me Y/N. "
~~~~~
We never spoke, I never told her about the accident and about my mom and siblings dying on impact. I never told her that I was the one driving, I never told her that my father cut me off because he blames me for everything. I never told her any of that. We just had sex.
~~~~~
Being with her was amazing. I can't recall the last time I was happy like this. When I am with Billie I can pretend to be the girl I wish I was. She helped me clean up house, she never asked or pushed me for more information. We never argued until now.
"I want you to come with me Y/N," Billie persisted. She just told me about this big family dinner that was coming up and I declined.
"Billie... It's just too soon," I said turning to her.
She was already on her side looking at me. The outline of her body was distracting me from this very important conversation.
I need a drink.
"We've been together for what a month already? More than that I think now is about the right time," Billie said. Her eyes were pleading me to say yes and I could feel a pull in my chest. Alarm bells went off in my head and all I wanted was to bolt out of this hotel room.
"Billie, I just don't feel ready don't force me," I said getting up from bed.
"Wait Y/N I'm sorry, wait stop," she wrapped her arms around me. I wiggled out of her arms and quickly got dressed.
"Where are you going?" she said.
I turn around and place my phone in her hands, my silent promise that I'll come back.
"I just need some air..."
~~~~~
The fighting became frequent. Nothing that I did seemed to be good enough and no amount of sex could take away the problems that were unfolding.
"You never talk to me! I don't know anything about you do I!?"
That was the last thing she said to me before she left. I knew she wanted me to chase after her and I would've but I thought to myself that this was for the best. She didn't need my bullshit life or my trouble.
This is what she deserves, a life free from me. I could feel the loss of her presence. I never truly let her in. I wonder if things would've been different if I did let her in. If I told her about my hurt.
I went to sleep with a heavier heart than ever. The urge to drink wasn't there, but the urge to sleep was great right now.
~~~~~
A year went by after Billie and I broke up. Things were finally looking up and I am proud of myself. I started going to therapy and AA. Recently I got back behind a a steering wheel and I finally felt more in control of ny life.
I missed her, but she's doing amazing right now and I am so proud. Hit me hard and soft came out and I have been listening to it in bits and pieces througout my day.
With every song I felt a wave of anxiety. I am terrified. I knew it was coming I knew it was gonna be brutal.
After work i got into the car and connected my phone. The end of WILDFLOWER filled the car and I started to drive. My stomuch dropped. THE GREATEST was the song I was dreading.
It was beautiful and brutal.
I had to stop the car because I couldn't see through my tears. My sobs were drowned out by the song and when it ended I played it again and again.
#billie eilish fanfiction#billie eilish x y/n#billie eilish x reader#bilie eilish#billie eilish x you#wlw fanfic#wlw post#fanfic#fanfiction#Spotify
33 notes
·
View notes
Text
I hate that this is genuinely something I'm writing rn, but nothing has more RATTLED my faith in the writing team's ability to write a Zane story then him calliNG ARIN CRINGE-
#I'm still not over it#And I never will be 😭#It's just-#I'm sorry#But it reeks of a complete lack of understanding regarding a character on the most fundamental level#You are FUCKING WITH ME if you say Zane would genuinely say that to a teenager struggling with so much stuff at the moment#Especially because he was in Arin's position once when he first joined the ninja#Arguably an even worse position because he had no past to remember#It's just#*so* frustrating hearing HIM of all characters mutter that word#And ESPECIALLY in relation to ARIN of all people#If he'd said that about someone like Jay or Cole or anyone on the team frankly#I would've found it fucking incredible and possibly the funniest thing he'd done/said at that point#But NOT the young teenager struggling with his best friend (or family as he says) lying to him and hiding it from him#Sorry I just needed to get this off my chest otherwise I would've exploded#Weekly Zane Julien writing Hate Session number 73 lmao#ninjago#zane julien#zane ninjago#Image is from Quest for the Lost Powers#Aka ACTUAL good charachterisation of Zane and an amazing story for him 💀
89 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#sorry ignore this it’s post-election venting.#like just completely unproductive doomerism I need to get off my chest#ok real talk I have been feeling so hopeless and dead and depressed since the election.#I hate this country and I don’t think it can be fixed. not meaningfully in my lifetime.#I think I need to leave this place but im not financially able and im a transmasc person in a red state#with unsupportive parents.#I’ve given up hope on the idea that ‘ppl here are generally good and just misled into voting for the worse of the 2 evils’ and know just#feel these people are subhumanly stupid. beyond saving. no hope. they are voids. cesspits. empty headed useless ontologically evil braindead#soulless husks. it is useless to try to reason with them or inform them or convince them of anything. they are lost causes. it’s better#to leave this country while they rot in the dying empire They chose to make this bad.#they Want this. they Want fascism. they don’t care about other ppl#they are individualism poisoned Americans with no interest in a better future.#I hate them. I hate Americans. I hate my family. I hate my community.#none of it is worth fighting for anymore. they are lost causes.#the best course of action is to leave. but I can’t so im stuck with these fucking useless morons#so until then I have to rot with them. im stuck in this fucking tar pit of a country#with these fucking tar pits of ppl#illiterate fucking rednecks and functional alcoholic suburbanites. the fucking moldy white bread of humanity#I hope we all die. we deserve this.#useless fucking dnc allergic to winning.#barely coherent braindead voterbase. useless fucking male loneliness truther incels#the world would be better off if this country was fucking nuked off the map.#sorry silly fandom mutuals for being a whiny american. but things r materially going 2 get so much worse for me and my friends next year#project 2025 is terrifying and trump wants to put tariffs on everything which is going to cause prices of everything 2 skyrocket even more#and just knowing ppl are reveling in the ‘liberal tears’ aka ppl being upset that their lives r about 2 get worse makes my skin crawl#and makes me nauseous. these ppl are not human#they don’t care about Palestine they don’t care about Ukraine they don’t care about Sudan#and they don’t care about trans ppl gay ppl any racial minorities#some of them Are racial minorities and want 2 separate themselves from the ‘bad ones’#im just fucking disgusted by the ppl here voting against their own interests bc they r fucking dumb and misinformed.
12 notes
·
View notes
Note
hey i’m proud of you for being open about your desires, sadomasochism is healthy and when done safely it is fun and hot and a great way to do fetish stuff! i hope you find someone safe to explore that stuff with <3 !
thank you anon I love you anon. really I think a lot of My Issues with navigating sadomasochism aren’t about the kink itself or even that it’s a kink that I have, they’re more with the fact that my being into it feels like a bit of a betrayal, yeah? like I’ve loved scary shit my whole entire life, I’ve made some of my best friends in the world bonding over scary shit. n naturally that comes with people harassing you n your friends, often when you’re too young to even know what they’re talking about, because the way you dress or the music you listen to or the movies you like are all somehow an indicator that you’re some sort of Sex Murderer being barely restrained by the bounds of polite society. I’ve had friends bullied off the internet very very early in our teenage years for allegedly being into kinks they’d never even heard of. so of course when I get older n I start discovering this part of myself it’s really alarming — not because I believe all the crazy shit that’s being said about hardcore kinksters, but because I can no longer say “hey, it’s ok, none of us are sex freaks here.” because now it feels a bit like I’m selling my friends n really my scene as a whole out by being the Fucked Up One even though I Know that’s total bullshit, n I know there’s plenty of us, n that there’s nothing even inherently wrong with being a sex freak in the first place. but even with those complicated feelings I’ve realized like, I can’t talk a big game about being pro kink unless I stop being a little loser baby about my own kinks yknow. I can’t keep being so accepting towards others while simultaneously being so hard on myself. the only way out for me is to unlearn all that, n that starts with oversharing in my tumblr dot com tags I guess _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):_
#putting this next semi rant in tags bc it’s A Lot#but there’s also a History Of Violence within my family n that really complicates it all too#my grandfather was a serial killer. n I don’t think I can ever be turned on by violence without thinking just a little bit about that#he poisoned people. it was a manipulation thing. it was about getting ‘sick’ people relying on him#which is thankfully not even remotely close to what I’m into#so I guess that’s a bit of a relief. but it’s still a relief that I can’t really ever be fully confident in#it’s not like we were far removed either. there’s a big picture of him at my grandma’s house. he used to write me poems from jail#like it or not. mo matter how much I wish I didn’t. I Know Him#I know Serial Killer Genes are pseudoscientific bullshit. but part of me is worried there’s a bit of him in me#I don’t know. I hope not#sanswers#god. so sorry about all that . I really do appreciate the message I just think I needed to get all that off my chest yeah#been going through A Lot n frankly this is the least of it. but it was nice to talk about#so thank you for giving me the opportunity to
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
we’ll see how the rest of the day plays out, but it’s honestly just not a great mental day for me. the family excursion was fine — nothing went wrong. i just feel very overwhelmed and sensitive, and there’s not been a moment where it’s just quiet. writing might be how i recharge once i’m home, but we’ll just see. i might just lurk and take it easy uvu
#the way people keep talking to me and basically taking over when i’m trying to help is just really getting to me today#and i get it bc i’m the youngest and it’s been that way for ages but today it’s making me feel very negatively#and i love my family and usually i love talking and being around them but today i think i just don’t have it in me#i need to go home and to just be in the quiet#and i feel horrible bc my sister will notice and worry that she’s annoying me and it’s not that!!#i just feel so overwhelmed rn#sorry to rant in the tags i just needed to get it off my chest for a moment#i feel like i can’t talk about mental health stuff with my family bc they either won’t understand or worry and i’m just#having a hard time not talking about it tbh#get ready to ramble | ooc#tw negative#tw rant#tw vent
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Apologies for the bummer, too personal post, but just because I need to vent (if that's even the right word here) -
What is it about the death of immediate family members that feels so unreal? My stepfather died unexpectedly this weekend, and even though I have fully internalised that on an intellectual level, on an emotional level it hasn't hit me at all yet. Same happened when my grandma died, it felt like it took my heart months to actually catch up to what happened.
#admittedly i was very close to my grandma for most of my life#while my feelings towards my stepfather have been quite negative ever since I entered my teens#so i'm not even sure if there will ever be that sense of feelings catching up in this case#but there's still something unreal/unbalancing about someone who has been a presence in your life for most of it just not existing anymore#the only thing that does feel real is the effect his death has had on my sister and especially my mum#who now has to deal with the horrible yet banal bureaucratic practicalities that come with sorting out someone's death#since i live in a different country than my family the only horrible practicality that hit me so far is the unexpected cost of#buying plane tickets in the middle of summer#which is such a trivial unimportant thing in the grand scale of things but also not something that i can just not worry about at all#thankfully it's just a matter of me being a bit more mindful of my spending over the next month or so#and not a full-on 'i'll need to skip meals' type of situation#thank god for small mercies#personal#death#sorry for the ramble#just needed to get this off my chest#also apologies in advance if you'll see even more vampire posting/reblogging from me over the next few days#i wasn't kidding when i said iwtv is helping to keep me sane
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
i need to stop talking abt body image issues with people who don’t have a double chin
#it always just fills me with anger and jealousy and then with guilt and even more self hatred#about to say some truly selfish hateful shit i am aware is wrong and cruel which is why i’m saying it here —>#like oh my godddd im soooo sorry your family told you you needed to be a bit skinnier#you are extremely conventionally attractive and skinny with pretty hair and good clothes#people like you at a glance. people give you the fucking time of day#you have dated multiple people. multiple people have wanted to DATE you#i’m always the fucking outsider in these conversations because they’re always so… personal?#in that like. “oh i know im okay looking but my brain won’t let me think it”#like damn that sucks. i’m actually ugly and nobody will let me fucking forget it#but do tell me more about your pretty partner you love who fell in love with you instantly#i’ll be over here walking behind you realizing i’m twice your width#and wondering if there’s a way to put out a lifetime’s worth of artwork and creation so that i can get this stupid hopeless life over with#i will die unloved. i don’t even fucking care anymore#i just want to make some decent art people might like and be done with it all#chatter#sorry i need to get this off my chest Now so i can push my mood back up and not be snapping at people. im so good im so fine#i hate myself but thats a me issue. time to go have fun
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Anybody else have a recurring dream of Hell but it’s just lots of stairs leading down.
(long description of these dreams under the cut because I know not everyone would want to read it but I need to talk about them because they keep playing on my mind)
I’ve been getting this for a few years and it’s really bugging me, the stairway is almost always different, sometimes it’s just one large square room leading so far down that you can’t see the bottom, sometimes it has many many floors with lots of winding stairs but the further you go down the darker it gets and the harder it is to find your way back up again. The one thing they all have in common is that you can never see outside, you can never see the bottom, and it always gets darker the further down you go. The one I get most often is the inside of a building that has 46 floors, the top floors have square windows where light comes in but you can’t see outside at all, it’s completely white, and there are lots of winding staircases and corridors but they always lead down to the floor below, the shape of the main room is a really large circle but no matter how far you lean over the railing you can never look straight down, your eyes are always directed to at most three floors below you, you can never see the bottom, and it just gets darker the further down you go, the windows slowly dwindle into electric sconces and those slowly disappear entirely until you’re almost completely in darkness near the bottom. The furthest I got was one floor above the bottom, and here I could finally look down. Unlike the other floors this one had no stairs down so if I wanted to get to the bottom I would have to jump over the railing and it was at least 10 feet, and I knew if I got down that was it, I couldn’t go back the way I came. Also unlike the other floors this one was covered in large cold white tiles and looked more like a dark airport, whereas the other floors had cream walls, low ceilings, wooden floors and had red rugs down every corridor and staircase. The bottom floor’s only source of light was an escalator with light at the top, however there was an overhang in the ceiling so you couldn’t see what was at the end. In the middle there was a square desk with a blonde woman with her hair in a ponytail, seeming to be between the ages of 20 and 50, standing in the middle handing different coloured hexagonal tokens out over the counter to strangers in a line who I couldn’t see the faces of, but after they were handed a token they went straight towards the escalator and past the overhang. The woman looked at me and she had blue eyes and smiled but it felt like the kind of smile that has no warmth or sincerity behind it, it felt like an anglerfish trying to lure me in. I don’t know how but I immediately knew this woman was the devil and I got scared and tried to find my way back to the floor above and then I woke up but I absolutely fucking hate these dreams because they scare the shit out of me, I’m not even religious nor do I believe in any sort of afterlife but I always get the feeling that if I reach the bottom I won’t wake up.
#sorry this was so long but i got one again last night and i just need to get it off my chest because they unsettle me so much#im still trying to figure out what they mean#because the last recurring dream i had i stopped getting completely once i figured out what they meant and i hate these ones#this is why i barely talk about my dreams because when my friends or family talk about their dreams#theyre so normal its just like ‘oh yeah me and such and such went to the seaside’ meanwhile i get this#dream
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
i saw the first top gun film the other day and I must say, in my humble opinion, the most unrealistic part about that film is the fact that they’re constantly trying to sell you that maverick pulls more bitches than goose
#like yes tom cruise is lovely but COME ON#HAVE YOU SEEN HIM#PLEASE GOOSE JUST ONE CHANCE#i haven’t seen the new one yet btw#but all I had seen about it before was everyone thirsting over rooster#and again miles teller is lovely as well#BUT LIKE LET ME TALK ABOUT HIS FATHER#listen I respect the fact that he’s a family man#he’s got a kid#he’s got a wife he loves very much#BUT IF HE DIDNT#you cannot try to convince me that he wouldn’t have more game than mav#sorry 🤚#the moustache the laugh the sense of humour the sweetness the hawaiian shirts#HE’S THE PERFECT MAN COME ON#that was all I had to say thank you#this is a bit different from what I usually post but I needed to get this off my chest#mars rants#top gun 1986#nick bradshaw#goose top gun#nick goose bradshaw
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
another ooc post (are we surprised at this point?) just to say for everyone to remember that sometimes people need to take a step back from things and there's nothing wrong with that. if you can't handle someone having to look out for their mental health and can't respect that they're doing what they need to do to look out for themself, you make yourself look like an ass.
#i haven't been active lately for mental health; work; and family reasons. i shouldn't have to explain myself to anyone or go into any detail#but just know that life hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows and i reserve the right to do what i need to for myself. whether it takes me#week or even months to get into a better spot in my life i can do that. and no one is entitled to an explanation from me. i'm just truly#exhausted that i'm not allowed to take time for myself without people getting cross with me over it lol. like at least have the decency to#check up on me first. but anyway i'm sorry- i'm just stressed and don't like being made to feel like a shitty person for trying to take car#of myself. and this isn't a post about any of y'all bc y'all are great but i just had to get this off my chest somewhere lol. anyway i'll b#back eventually promise!#ooc.#tw vent// ////
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
...
[ok, I know this isn't anything related to tadc tumblr rn, but i just have to get this off my chest.]
[Parents &#%$ing suck. Especially if you know one's been cheating on the other for a while and told to keep it a secret and only you know, if they've hated each other for most of your life, if one tell you to stay away from the other, if one moved out for a bit but is now back in the house due to money issues, have threaten to divorce each other about 3 times and is most likely gonna do it by the end of the year, and you have to listen to them argue all the time while you have to take care of your younger sibling who's only in young elementary while you yourself is still barely a teenager.]
[$#&% parents.]
#Mod post#Rant#Family issues#Divorce#Fuck parents#Cheating#Sorry about this guys#Just needed to get it off my chest before i breakdown again#Just ignore this
5 notes
·
View notes