#the only thing that does feel real is the effect his death has had on my sister and especially my mum

[terpia]

Apologies for the bummer, too personal post, but just because I need to vent (if that's even the right word here) -

What is it about the death of immediate family members that feels so unreal? My stepfather died unexpectedly this weekend, and even though I have fully internalised that on an intellectual level, on an emotional level it hasn't hit me at all yet. Same happened when my grandma died, it felt like it took my heart months to actually catch up to what happened.

[mad-hunts]

as far as jack could tell, jervis was really out of it; and it made him wonder it was due to something that had happened while he was out with his father, or when they'd gotten here. perhaps both. jack gnawed on his bottom lip, his eyes darting to jervis's hands, which were flexing like he was struggling with something. an eyebrow rose as jack contemplated asking whether he needed some pain medication.

since he didn't receive an answer to his question yet, jack figured he might as well introduce himself. ❝ uhh, well, you don't have to talk to me if you aren't feeling up to it. my sister told me that you fainted in front of her out there — so, i understand if you're still feeling sick. my name is jack, ❞ he scratched at the back of his neck as he continued to observe jervis. whenever the man tried to get up, jack approached him and was about to caution jervis that maybe he shouldn't by lightly touching his shoulder.

but he remembered matilda telling him something about the other really not liking to be touched, so he merely was going to verbally tell him. up until jervis laid back down himself, anyhow. jack couldn't hold himself back from frowning at his poor present state before venturing out of the room with a 'i'll be right back.' and indeed he had been, with two different vials, alongside a few syringes to inject into that IV bag: should jervis want to be medicated. jack figured it'd be easier to just do that rather than forcing him to swallow anything.

he placed those also on the table before tilting his head at the quote jervis had said until it clicked a few seconds later, ❝ that's a quote from through the looking glass, isn't it? and one that the red queen said in the story if i remember correctly. she was basically teaching alice that staying in the same place is falling behind, right? ❞ jack squinted his eyes at that before a thought came to mind. a soft snort left him, but one that was done of an innocent sort of amusement rather than malice. ❝ that is a kind of roundabout way of talking about survival of the fittest. but hey, lewis carroll was all about the whimsy of things, i guess. and its no big deal. ❞

jack pretended not to see the tears that the other shed for jervis's own sake. the blood on his lips was something he couldn't ignore, no matter how hard he tried, though. jack grabbed a washcloth from his pack and held it out towards's jervis's hand. once it was out of his hand was when jack set down that teacup, the slightly too long stripped pants he wore swaying across the ground. ❝ mm, you and dad were both asleep for nearly four hours. sure — i don't think that's silly at all. i keep something on me all the time from when my brother, julien, was still around. ❞ the bracelet he showed the other on his right wrist then seemed to be made up entirely of tiny conch shells.

julien was a big fan of the sea, which jack thought made his death all the more crushing. after seeing the state that the stuffed animal was in, he figured that that bunny must've been really loved; though it didn't really matter by whom it was. the end result was the same, as love changes you. jack knew this well as he'd never wanted anything more than to be embraced by the warmth of it.

he quickly shook that thought off, only to grab the two vials he got from the fridge once more. ❝ eh... the four hours actually went by rather fast. ❞ jack cleared his throat then, ❝ you know, i couldn't help but notice that you aren't looking so hot still, and so i grabbed some meds for you. but i won't force you to take them. i have a pain reliever as well as something that relieves vertigo. are either, or both of these, something you want? ❞

Eigengrau.

A faint hum buzzed in his ears; his mouth was so dry it felt like he’d swallowed a wad of wool.

The thin sheet beneath him brushed his fingertips as Jervis flexed his hands, cracking his eyes open a sliver. The room tilted, everything blurring at the edges. Ah… so he had fainted. Just as he’d suspected. No glasses, then.

"Hey. Ahh, you're awake… That's awesome. How are you feeling?"

The new voice was barely a whisper, young and uncertain—belonging to a boy, maybe sixteen or eighteen by the timber. Was this another of Barton's assistants, a friend of Matilda’s, or perhaps her brother? Jervis couldn’t quite remember; hadn't Barton mentioned something about having more than one child?

He winced, his body feeling heavy, leaden; aching everywhere. Slowly, he exhaled and tried to push himself upright—tried being the keyword. The effort brought only a wave of vertigo, dizzying and blue-hot, making his vision swim.

… ohh, god…

He swallowed thickly, curling into himself. Something wasn’t right. His glasses and gloves weren’t the only thing missing. He was in his socks, jeans, and a now damp charcoal t-shirt, his body slick with cold sweat. His graying auburn curls clung to his neck in tangled ropes. His boots were beside the cot, his messenger bag on a desk across the room. His overcoat and maroon button-down were draped over a chair.

A flicker of discomfort in his right arm. Burning. Tugging.

Jervis glanced down at the source: a plastic tube. A peripheral IV catheter.

"Ah, you know... 'It takes all the running you can do, to stay in the same place,'" he muttered, his voice clipped and hollow; Bermudian accent casual, almost detached. He turned his eyes to the boy; offered him a faint, strained smile. "Keeps things interesting, I suppose... but I appreciate your concern, lad."

He lifted his fingers to his cheek, feeling the moisture trickle down—salt on his lips. Tears, sharp and stinging. Jervis flinched and quickly scrubbed them away with the heels of his hands.

Cold metal pressed into his spine, tight around his neck—the chain with his and Sylvie’s wedding rings twisted against his skin. He must’ve been thrashing in his sleep. There was blood on his lips.

"Forgive me…" His vision swam as he watched the boy set a teacup on the small table beside the cot, just within view. "But I'm afraid I've rather lost my sense of time. How long has it been since I…?" He paused, his voice barely steady. "... if... if you don’t mind, could you please reach into my coat pocket? You'll find a small cuddly toy. A rabbit..." He rubbed his mouth, lowered his eyes. "It sounds foolish, I know... but it... it was my daughter's, you see..."

The boy nodded, moving quickly to retrieve the toy from Jervis’ coat pocket, and placed it on the table beside the teacup. The bunny was missing one of its button eyes, its white fur faded and matted. A pink satin ribbon around its neck was frayed and tattered.

“Thank you,” Jervis said hoarsely. “I must have been out of it for quite a while.”

[obscure-imagines]

wet dreams - Zoro

🍃staring. Zoro Roronoa x afab!Reader

⚔️ preview. The swordsman feels like a teenager again. His body has never reacted like this to anyone, not even close. It's been years since he had wet dreams, and now they're coming in, hot, heavy, and nearly nightly.

tw/cw. unprotected sex, wet dreams, hand job, blow job, dirty talk, praise, exhibitionism (sex outside in the Crowsnest), cum play/swallowing, fingering, mutual masturbation, multiple reader orgasms, big dick zoro, fingering, overstim, mutual orgasm, etc… I pet names: (hers) angel.

🔫 rating. 18+ explicit I SMUT I wc. 3.7k

⚔️ aus. One Piece Live Action, pwp, acquaintances to lovers, etc…

🍀 mlist + an. I showed Sanji and Mihawk some love so I figured I might as well adore my big three and make it a full set with Zoro.

Zoro is exhausted. His body feels heavy as he lumbers around the ship, his footfalls a little too loud on the wooden deck. His eyes are practically shutting on their own, but he resists the need to nap.

He's been having problems lately... when he sleeps.

While he's able to keep himself mostly in check around you during his waking hours, his mind - and body - have been betraying him in dreamland.

He's woken up five nights this week with the soft sounds of your moans etched into his memory and his pants ruined with the sticky truth about his feelings for you.

Naps had once been a time of rest, but Zoro has been anything but restful since Luffy convinced you to join the crew two weeks ago.

Zoro hates feeling like he's not in control. He hates the way you seem so real in his mind's eye, only for him to wake up and watch you acting completely indifferently toward him- as if he didn't just watch you go down on his cock in explicit detail- as if he didn't just try to fuck you so hard you couldn't even walk-

Being around you is something like torture. His tongue gets tied, his heart races, and he's unable to hold a conversation with you about anything unrelated to piracy... and even then, he stumbles over his words and gets frustrated with himself.

You're just too beautiful.

The swordsman feels like a teenager again. His body has never reacted like this to anyone, not even close. It's been years since he had wet dreams, and now they're coming in, hot, heavy, and nearly nightly.

He does his best to be the last to go to bed, out of fear that someone will walk in while he's sleeping and hear his problem, hell, he wouldn't be shocked if they could even see it.

It's not even midday and Zoro feels like death. It doesn't help that it's hot out. The wind feels practically nonexistent. Everything is stale, sweaty, and full of tension. Even Sanji, who usually dresses in formalwear, has stripped himself of his button-up, opting for an undershirt instead.

Then there's you. Your shorts don't leave much to the imagination, and Zoro has to tear his gaze off of you every time you get within his line of sight. His cock is practically throbbing in his pants anytime you're nearby- anytime your soft scent lingers in the air when you walk past.

"You look like shit."

Zoro sighs at Sanji's words, refusing to look at the chef who's come to lean on the rail next to him, staring out at the sea.

"I mean it. And I'm not trying to be a dick, but seriously moss head, you look like you need some rest," Sanji presses on. "When was the last time you had one of your famous Roronoa naps?"

"I wasn't aware they were famous," Zoro sighs, this conversation is making him even more tired.

"We all know you get a little scratchy without your beauty sleep," Sanji smirks. "Go on, get some rest. It's a shit day, and it will be even more shit if you're in a bad mood. I'll wake you up for dinner."

Usually, Zoro wouldn't do anything Sanji suggests, he wouldn't even entertain it- but the idea of a nap is having a visceral effect on him. He's reminded of the exhaustion that's overtaken him, and the harsh sun is only making things worse.

Zoro lets out a deep breath. "I guess I could use a little shut-eye."

You let out a loud whimper as Zoro drags his tongue across your neck, holding you close on the deck of the ship. Above, the stars are twinkling, but to the swordsman, all that matters is you. He can hardly see anything else, his mind completely blank except for the feeling of your hand stroking his cock.

"I need more," you tell him, applying just the right amount of pressure.

He's tried dissuading you from sucking his cock, but you're absolutely insatiable for him. Stroking isn't enough, and the promise of filling you up all nice and snug doesn't satisfy you either- no, you want him in your mouth, and you're very verbal about it.

Who is Zoro to deny you?

With a sigh, he agrees, and you sink to your knees immediately.

God, you look beautiful like this.

Your thumb strokes the head of his cock, rubbing through precum as you bring your mouth closer.

You're always a bit of a tease, licking at him gently, pumping his shaft. Zoro can't help but release a small groan, eyes fixed on you, waiting.

When you finally take him into your mouth, Zoro moans, his head lolling back as he enjoys the feeling.

"That's it, angel," he tells you, reaching down to grab at your head, helping you find a rhythm. "Just like that."

You take him so deep, the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat much too easily. The feeling of you choking around him has Zoro's abdomen clenching, and a familiar sensation is growing in his balls-

It's as if you can read his mind, your hand snaking up to massage his most sensitive area while you continue practically gagging yourself on his cock.

The sound is absolutely obscene, and Zoro's never heard anything so pretty.

"If you keep sucking like that, I'm going to cum," he warns you, wanting to hold out to finish in your perfect, needy little cunt-

The way you suck on him even harder makes Zoro think you want him to cum. You want him to release down your throat, want to swallow him up like the good girl you are.

Again, who is Zoro to deny you?

"Fuck, angel," he groans, orgasm rising even faster. "You're always so good for me."

You whimper loudly around his cock, stroking your tongue along the vein that runs the underside of his length while squeezing his balls, and that's all it takes for him to cum.

He lets out a grunt as he shoots his load down your awaiting throat, his brows knitted together in concentration and something close to overstimulation. He whispers your name, over and over like a mantra while you suck him dry, eager for every single drop he can give- you're his greedy little angel, and he loves you with every fiber of his being.

You pull off of him when he's done, staring up at him with eyes that reflect the stars above. Then, you stick out your tongue, proving to him that you'd swallowed all he had to give.

Zoro can't help but reach for you, lifting you back onto your feet so he can grab your face and press his lips against yours eagerly.

He treasures the moments you're in his arms, and there's something so satisfying about the salty taste on your tongue-

"Dinner!"

Zoro sits up so fast he nearly falls out of his hammock. His heart is thundering in his chest, and when his eyes quickly dart to the door, he sees that Sanji hadn't bothered to enter, only called out a word of warning.

Swallowing thickly, Zoro looks down at his pants. He can feel his cum, hot and sticky against his skin, his half-chubbed length angrily confined by pants.

Zoro's not sure who's more upset about being woken up from his dream, himself, or his cock.

Luffy has already gone through half the food by the time Zoro saunters into the dining area. The swordsman's eyes are downcast while he takes a seat next to the captain, and you're kind of glad for that- you want to watch him, but you doubt you'd be able to make eye contact with him right now.

Your skin tingles with the forbidden knowledge that you now have. Your mind keeps replaying the scene you'd walked in on not half an hour ago; Zoro, asleep, his brows knitted together, your name on his lips.

You hadn't stayed long upon finding him in that state, your skin too hot with the realization of what you'd just witnessed, and now, that fevered sensation returns.

You've always had a bit of a crush on Zoro, but you'd never in your wildest dreams imagined that it could be returned. Out of everyone on the ship, Zoro interacts with you the least. He practically avoids you, and you've just spent two weeks thinking he doesn't even like you-

No, this changes everything.

The man with green hair lifts his gaze, and your eyes meet momentarily, only for you to look away, skin flaring again. Your heart is practically beating out of your ribcage, and you can feel your panties sticking uncomfortably to your core.

You'll have to do something about this. You're not sure what- but... you definitely can't go much longer with this kind of unresolved tension. One dinner with a dripping pussy is enough.

You decide you'll have to confront Zoro, and something tells you that you'll thank God for doing so.

Once everyone is asleep, you slowly tiptoe out of the sleeping quarters. Zoro has been staying up late, keeping watch in the Crowsnest, and you feel like that's a perfect place to talk with him. There's no way he can escape... unless he jumps into the ocean and risks his life- but you don't think it will come to that... or at least, you hope it doesn't.

Carefully climbing the ladder, you think of all the things you can say to him. You're not sure where to even begin, and as you make it to the top, poking your head through the manhole to stare at Zoro's broad shoulders, all the words you'd planned slip your mind.

He hasn't noticed you yet, and it takes closing the ladder cover for him to finally hear you, whipping around with his hand reaching for one of his blades.

Zoro freezes. You both do.

Then his hand drops to his side. "What are you doing here?"

"I thought..." you bite at your lip, "I thought you might want some company."

He gives you a quick once over, then turns to look out at the sea again. "I'm good."

"Why do you act like you hate me so much?" you sigh, ignoring his dismissal and moving to join him.

"I don't act like I hate you."

"You hardly talk to me."

"I'm not a big talker."

You let out another exasperated sigh. There's some truth in what he's just said. "Then I'll talk."

"Go ahead."

Staring out at the sea, you're once again at a loss for what to say. After a few moments of silence, you decide to just... put it all on the table. "I walked in while you were napping earlier."

Zoro goes rigid next to you.

"What were you dreaming about?"

He's quiet, then he turns to look at you. "Sword fighting."

"I didn't think you'd actually lie to me," you frown.

"Who says I'm lying?"

"I just- I don't think sword fighting would lead to you moaning my name over and over."

Zoro looks out at the sea again. "You must think I'm some kind of pervert."

"Trust me, I don't," you assure him. "I'm kind of curious about what we were doing in your dream."

He sneaks a glance at you, and there's a hint of a smile that curls onto his pretty lips. "Yeah?"

You nod. "Maybe... maybe I've been having 'sword fighting' dreams too. We could... compare notes, or something."

Zoro lets out a laugh, shaking his head. The chuckle dies down into a groan. "Fuck." He grips the railing tighter, taking a deep breath. "You really wanna know what we were doing in my dream?"

"Yes, please."

The swordsman turns to face you, crossing his arms over his chest. "You were down on your knees, sucking the fucking soul out of my cock."

If your panties hadn't been ruined at dinner, they're definitely ruined now. "I was?"

"Uh huh. You were begging for it. Begging for every last drop."

Your mouth practically waters at the idea. "And did you give it to me?"

"Of course I did," he says softly, scanning your face. "How could I not?"

"Should we..." Your skin heats at the words about to come out of your mouth, "Can we make that dream real?"

Zoro sucks in a shaky breath. "I think I have a better idea."

"A better idea than me sucking your cock?" You're shocked.

"You're always so good to me in my dreams, maybe I want to be good to you."

Your pussy throbs at the insinuation of what he's saying. Most men would jump at the chance to have your mouth around them, but it looks like tonight, the swordsman wants to be the one pleasuring you-

He's just like the Zoro from your wet dreams, and you have a suspicion that when it gets down to it, he'll be even better.

You can't help yourself any longer, you practically launch your body at him, throwing your arms around his strong shoulders while his hands catch you. Your lips meet as if it's the most natural thing in the world, a soft groan escaping him when you swipe your tongue across his mouth, already eager for entrance.

The kiss deepens, and his hands grip you tighter, pulling you flush to his chest. It feels absolutely insane to be actually doing this in your waking hours- nothing your mind could conjure up compares to the real Zoro-

You can feel his cock already pressing against your hip and it makes you whine loudly, shoving your hand between your bodies to cup him through his pants. He's as big as you imagined he would be, and your pussy flutters with interest.

"Zoro-" you whimper, already needing more.

You've been waiting too long for this, for him-

He groans. "Say that again."

One of his hands joins yours between your bodies, but his slips under the waistband of your shorts, deft fingers rubbing you through your panties.

"Fuck, angel, you're already soaked-"

"Zoro!" you moan, louder this time.

"Tell me you want my fingers."

"God, I need them," you gasp when he leans in, pressing kisses and tracing his tongue along your throat. "I need you inside of me- any of you, I just- I need you!"

"Good girl," he says smoothly, pushing your panties to the side.

His fingers make contact with your dripping cunt, and he teases your pussy lips, just dipping inside enough to coat his skin before he circles your clit.

You cry out, squeezing his cock harder-

"Enough of that," Zoro practically slaps your hand away from him. "Tonight is about you. Let it be about you."

"Fuck, you're too nice to me-"

"Trust me, you deserve it." His fingers sink into your pussy and you moan loudly, leaning forward to begin peppering his own throat in kisses. You thread your fingers through his hair, keeping him close as he begins pumping his digits in and out of your wet core.

You can already hear yourself- the sick squelching of your pussy as he works you open. His palm rubs against your clit, creating a delightful pressure that has your legs shaking and your toes curling.

"You sound so pretty."

Who knew he'd be such a sweet talker.

In the exhibitionistic privacy of the Crowsnest, with the crew sleeping soundly below, Zoro is showing you his true colors, and you couldn't be happier.

No one has touched you like this in too long- but then again, has anyone ever actually touched you like this?

You can't believe how close you already are to cumming. Your skin tingles and you moan louder against his neck, moving your mouth up to suckle on his earlobe.

Zoro groans, and the sound goes straight to your aching core.

"Close already?"

All you can manage is a nod, your eyes closing as you focus on the pleasure of his fingers pumping into your wet hole. "Please-"

"You can cum for me," he tells you. "I wanna hear it."

You can hardly even stand on your own. If it weren't for his strong form, steady under your grip, you're sure you'd be falling. His free palm is on the small of your back, keeping you snug to his front while his fingers work you closer and closer-

"Zoro," you whimper again, feeling tears in your eyes from how tight the coil in your stomach has grown.

"Be a good girl and let go for me. Come on, I know you can do it."

You let out a strangled half sob as your high slams into you. Your entire body tingles with electric energy as your core clamps onto his fingers, which continue inside of you, working you through your orgasm. You shake against him, digging your nails into his shoulders while you whimper and moan, lips pressed to his throat.

"That's it," he praises you, a steady guide through one of the most intense orgasms of your life.

You nearly black out, only for his fingers to slow inside of you, drawing you back into your body. Zoro removes his hand from your pants, and you listen to him suck his digits clean, letting out a small groan at your taste.

"Can I lay you down?" he asks next, tone gentle.

You nod, unable to speak. Zoro softly helps you onto the wooden floor of the small Crowsnest, staring at you with dark eyes that seem to sparkle in the moonlight.

He slowly undresses you, watching as you lift your hips to help him remove your shorts. Your shirt and bra are next, and he's careful to set them nearby before removing his own clothing.

"You still want to do this?" he asks.

"There's nothing I want more."

Once he's naked, Zoro gets between your thighs, holding himself over you while you wrap your legs around his hips. You grab at his shoulders, pulling him in for a kiss.

His hard cock is too enticing for you not to touch, and soon, you're gripping it while your tongues battle. His moans are music to your ears, and you swipe your thumb over the head of his length to smear his skin with precum.

"You know-" he swallows thickly. "After today, after watching you cum on my fingers, I might not last that long."

"That's okay, I won't last long either." Your pussy is already aching for him again, and from the way his cock twitches in your hand, you know he's as into this as you are. "Just fuck me Zoro, please."

He kisses you deeply, allowing you to guide him to your wet hole.

He's big, but you're soaked, and slipping into you is much too easy. He sinks all the way in, his hips flush to yours when he bottoms out. You moan into each other's mouths, and you grab his face, wanting to keep his lips on yours as he begins to thrust into you.

"Fuck, Zoro, it's so good-" you whimper, pussy clenching tightly around him to earn another sound of appreciation.

"Angel, you're fucking perfect," he agrees, pace already quickening.

The sound of skin on skin fills the night air. You open your eyes, looking up at the moon and stars. It feels natural to be with him like this, under the watchful eye of the heavens-

Your nails dig into his shoulders when his hand adjusts your thigh on his hip. He drives deeper into your wet hole, and each thrust has your head spinning.

You can feel him everywhere, and it's the first time you've ever really felt full, complete.

"Zoro," you whisper, gaining his attention as you draw his lips back to your own.

You get lost in him. His cock is filling you perfectly, and his lips feel like they were made to be on your own.

That familiar tightening in your lower abdomen builds much too fast, and each thrust has Zoro grunting and moaning even louder-

"Fuck, angel, I'm close-"

"Me too," you assure him, pressing your forehead to his own and staring into his eyes. "You'll cum with me, right?"

He can only nod as you slip your hand between your bodies, fingers rubbing your sensitive clit-

Your core tightens even more around his thick length and Zoro lets out a deep moan-

"Shit," he mutters, "where should I cum?"

"Inside," you insist. "Cum inside, I'm on birth control, please, I want it, I need it-"

Zoro's hand balls into a fist on the wooden plank by your head, and he groans. "Can't wait-"

"Me neither," you whisper, eyes closing as the feeling ravages your body, "Cumming-"

Zoro buries his face against your throat as you both reach your highs. You can feel him painting your inner walls, making you even more full than you already are with his cock- it's the most delightful feeling.

Your toes curl as he fucks you through it all, his pace even harder than before, if not a bit erratic. The sounds he's making will be something you never forget, and you cling to him like a lifeline, tracing his muscular shoulders and gasping-

It's as if your orgasm lasts ages, and when Zoro's motions finally begin to slow, it's hard to even catch your breath.

He begins to press kisses along your throat again, working his way to your ear, and then your mouth.

You can't help but grin into each soft press of his lips against your own.

"You look happy," he muses.

"That's because I am. Are you happy?"

"Very."

Your smile widens. "So we're done not talking and pretending to be indifferent to each other, right?"

"Completely done."

"Good, because I don't think I could go back to that."

"Me neither," he admits.

"I like you a lot."

Zoro presses another soft kiss to your lips, his pretty eyes twinkling with emotion in a way you've never seen from the swordsman. "I like you too."

☀️ mlist + an. thank you for reading! If you liked this, check out my fics for Sanji and Mihawk :)

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© obscure-imagines — all rights reserved. reposting/modifying of any fic, reaction, or piece of original writing posted on this blog is not allowed. Translations not allowed.

[meiieiri]

𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞 [geto suguru]

synopsis: suguru geto upped and left that day without a moment’s notice and he took everything with him — your heart, your soul — but as you look at the positive pregnancy test in your hand, you realize that he did in fact leave one thing behind.

warnings: unplanned pregnancy, angst, explicit sex.

a/n: i know, i know. i should be writing WE but this concept has been in my head far longer than WE and i just need to get it out there or else, i think i’m gonna go insane. if anyone wants to know the plot of this would have been fic, feel free to let me know lmao, of course it still involves gojo bc i can’t choose between the two of them since they’re both so baby girl—! also happy birthday to the loml, my pookie-wookie, honeybunch, suguru geto!!

It’s been a year since the happy side trip to Okinawa became a living nightmare that culminated in you, Suguru Geto, and Satoru Gojo on the brink of death and with many more scars than you could have ever imagined. The three of you had very different ideas on how to cope. Satoru spends the past year perfecting his cursed technique, often at the expense of his emotional well-being and energy but then again, after what Toji Fushiguro did to him leaving him with the trauma of being slaughtered without regard, it was only natural.

You and Suguru on the other hand retreated into yourselves; it was hard to believe that just a year before the two of you were a normal teenage couple who enjoyed walking the trendy streets of Shibuya in the weekend sunshine without a care in the world, whose only real problem is to decide where the two of you were gonna have your weekly dates.

Now, things were different. Rainclouds have gathered effectively blocking out the sun. As you sat on the desk reading through your textbook on reverse cursed technique, you glance at Suguru from time to time and you aren’t the least bit surprised to see him sitting by the dorm room’s windowsill, staring at the garden with an empty gaze.

You’ve had enough of this. This eternal state of limbo was tearing you and Suguru apart.

Slowly, you stand up from the desk, softly padding across the wooden floor to where your boyfriend is. It was the middle of the night, last you checked, it’s already nine in the evening. You should be heading back to the women’s dorms now but you couldn’t, not when things were like this, not when Suguru’s losing himself day after day, you can’t help him, you know that, but you could be there for him seeing that’s all you can do.

But even then, it’s never enough.

Your relationship with Suguru is like a lit dynamite stick, you know that it’s only a matter of time before it also explodes in your faces. So, Suguru takes the lead, like he always does, he’s so much wiser and stronger than you in every way though he doesn’t care to admit it, though he pretends he doesn’t know why you’re so dependent on him.

“I think we should break up.”

He says that while holding your hand. You saw this coming but just how long did you anticipate that the love of your life would eventually up and leave you? You squeeze his hand with every ounce of the grief you are feeling hoping it would transcend the confines of your skin and it would reach his heart. “Is that what you really want?”

“No.”

He stands up to meet your gaze, the throw blanket falling to the floor as he does. He leans in closer, his hand cupping your cheek with such tenderness and heartache that you feel your heart rise to your throat. Suguru is normally so gentle like a shower of midnight rain, but he kisses you like this is the last — it probably is. Lost in him, your hands trail over his chest, and he deepens the kiss hoping that you’d also understand that he doesn’t really want to leave but he has to. He can’t bear to drag you into his mess.

He could never do that to you.

You respond with a soft moan when Suguru slowly lifts your shirt over your head. He stares at your plump breasts for a moment, covered only by a thin lace-like material, before deciding that looking at you wasn’t enough. He has to take you, ravish you, fondle you, kiss you. Anything to let you know that he’s not doing this because he’s fallen out of love with you.

“Don’t leave,” you plead in between his soft kisses to your breasts, tears slipping from your eyes as he removes your bra, letting it slip from your shoulders which he was now kissing up to the crook of your neck. How could your hearts be so full yet so empty at the same time?

None of what happened should have caused this much heartache between the two of you. In fact, it should have made you rely on each more, right? It should have strengthened you not destroy everything you had: each other, the future you planned together.

Suguru doesn’t answer as he nips at your neck, sucking on the delicate flesh, as your forms gracefully fall on the bed, he stares at you with such love, such devotion, and you wonder why this should be the last time. His gaze falls to your vulnerable form, his cock hardening at the sight of your clothed pussy getting wet just from that. He grinds against you, sighing at the way you buck your hips to meet his wanting more of him. If this was to be the last time, then, you want to make it count.

“Suguru, I’m yours.” That’s all he needs to hear and he removes your underwear, kissing down your leg as he slips it off of you. He tosses it onto his nightstand, and he leans towards it to grab a condom from his drawer. You catch his hand. “Don’t. I want to feel you.”

Suguru’s eyes widen at your request, his lips eliciting short huffs of breath. He’s never fucked you raw before. “Are you sure?”

You nod against his forehead. “Please. Please fuck me, Su.”

Slowly, his hand guiding his tip up and down your slit, smearing your wetness along the base of his cock before slowly pushing into you savoring the sensation of your cunt squeezing around him as he stretches you with his girth. A deep groan betrays him and his mouth hangs open as your tight walls envelop him as he bottoms out. He takes a moment to collect himself, not wanting to cum right then and there.

“S-shit. Ah, you’re so fucking tight.” He allows himself a small thrust, the tip of his cock already nudging your sensitive spot, having memorized you after many desperate nights of lovemaking. His fingers grip the soft skin of your hips as he pulls out momentarily before pushing back in again more forcefully this time.

“S-su! Mngh—please fuck me—I love you, I love you, I love you,” you beg.

A tear slips from Suguru’s eyes, it was becoming more real now — this final goodbye. He presses a gentle kiss to your forehead, his thumb brushing against your cheek as he slowly builds up the pace of his thrusts, his cock bullying your cunt, driving himself in and out of your pussy, again and again. He brings your leg to his waist, holding it so he could angle himself better. “I love you too.”

You mewl as he pistons in and out of you, his balls slapping hard against your skin. “Sugu—ah! More—n-need more of you—“ You’re crying now, and he is too as he continues to ravage your pussy, his hand finds your other leg and he pushes your knees close to your chest, folding you into a deep mating press, slamming into your cunt.

“I’m yours. Always,” Suguru looks into your eyes amidst your desperate cries, your thighs trembling under his passionate gaze. He grunts when he feels the familiar tightening of your walls. “You’re close—fuck,” he takes this as an incentive to go faster, harder, and he fucks you in a way he never has before.

“So good—oh—“ you fall silent as he suddenly brings your hands to your clit, letting you touch yourself. You looked so beautiful like this, under him, your head thrown back against the pillows, your mouth primed in a silent ‘o’. He pants as he feels his balls tighten when your hips involuntarily buck into him as you climax. “Suguru!”

“Ah, baby…” He groans, the hot breath from his lips tickling your forehead as he rides out his high, spilling his seed into you not caring what the consequences may be. You did want this after all, and he did too. You feel full just from the sensation of his thick cum, he thrusts into you one last time, further smearing his release in your walls.

You sighed as he stays there, your weak and trembling arms coming up to embrace him. He strokes your hair, memorizing each lock, pulling out after a while. Suguru pulls you flush against his chest, the remnants of his and your release sliding down your thighs. “It’ll be okay,” Suguru catches his breath, kissing your temple. “Even without me. You’ll be okay.”

“I won’t…you know I won’t.”

“You will.” He says firmly. “I promise. You know me, baby, I never break my promises.” You feel tears well up in your eyes again and he tenderly wipes it away. “I love you, (Y/N).”

“I love you too.”

By the next morning, you already knew with the way the AC’s cold air nips at your skin without Suguru, your Suguru, there to embrace you that he’s already left.

Without a note, without a goodbye. Typical of Suguru who doesn’t want to stick around to see you cry.

You curl into yourself as sobs wrack your body, the promise ring Suguru gave you gleaming under the rays of morning sunlight.

A few years later, just as Suguru said, things did get better. You smiled as you arranged the last of the tempura into the bento box filled with soba noodles with nori and small containers of mentsuyu and wasabi. It’s amazing how much she takes after him. You look at the clock and your face pales. You’re running late, so, you head upstairs to speed things up a little. You creak open the door to see the little blessing of your life, the last gift Suguru ever gave you. She’s looking at the picture of you and Suguru which you placed in her room, and since you know it was highly unlikely she’ll ever meet your lover in this lifetime, you’ve decided you want her to know him if by his appearance alone and the stories you tell her.

“Riko? We’re gonna be late,” you gently reminded your four-year-old daughter. You shoot her a funny look when you see the haphazard way she placed her hair in a bun. She pouts as she tries to get it right again, looking at her father’s picture intently. “Sweetheart, are you trying to look like—?”

“Like papa,” she huffs cutely and you chuckle, moving to pick her up and sit her down on your lap. Kissing her cheek, you also gaze at the picture depicting a candid you and Suguru during your first year at Tokyo Jujutsu Technical College. He has his arm wrapped around your shoulder, winking at the camera as he kisses your cheek, a silent gleeful laugh on your face.

You look at her, a little confused, you gently smooth her hair before planting a kiss between her eyebrows. “And why do you want to look like papa?” Riko shyly looks away, her ears turning a little red as she blushes, a trait she inherited from you. You flick her nose, giggling. “Well?” Riko laughs at the playful gesture.

“…So you don’t cry anymore, mama.” Your heart seems to have stopped beating for a moment and a warm, tearful smile appears on your face, wrapping Riko in a bone-crushingly tender hug. “Love you…” she sinks into the warmth of your hug and you kiss the top of her head.

“I love you, Riko. So…so…much.”

At that, your little girl sighs in relief. “School?” she tilts her head and you suddenly remembered the reason you went upstairs. You had to get moving. Your eyes widened and you carry her downstairs, being careful not to jostle her too much. “My hair, mama!” she giggles at her still unruly hair and you grimace in embarrassment. Suddenly, the front door opens and Riko sees who it is, before you could grab the spare brush from your bag, she suddenly jumps out of your arms and makes a beeline for the door.

“Papa, papa!”

You turn around and though the sight pains you to this day, somehow, you’re starting to learn to live with the fact that things are always bound to change with time and that this is what Suguru would have wanted: a loving and complete family for his little girl. You wrap Riko’s bento and place it in her lunchbox before going to greet the visitor.

“Hi, babe.” He turns to meet your lips for a sweet kiss, balancing Riko in his strong arms.

“Good morning, Satoru.”

[emmcfrxst]

the only heaven i’ll be sent to (is when i’m alone with you); arthur morgan x reader

word count: 2K

warnings: smut!, afab!reader, religious themes (kinda. a bitch loves blasphemy<3), oral (f!receiving), body worship (arthur worships the ground you walk on), multiple orgasms (again, f!receiving), expressively asking for consent because that’s sexy! also yes the title is a hozier reference! feedback is appreciated as always <333

!!!!!MINORS DNI!!!!!

The wind blows softly over the half-closed lapels of the tent you and Arthur had set up somewhere around Dewberry Creek, your old, rusted lantern creaking as it sways with the night breeze. The flickering light does not seem to bother your companion, however, as he flattens his tongue over the seam of your cunt, moaning greedily into you. Arthur’s eyes flutter closed in ecstasy as your fingers tangle in his hair, giving the honey brown strands a sharp tug when he delivers a particularly hard suck to your pulsing clit. Your legs close around his head instinctively, trapping him between your thighs, tense muscles flexing against the sides of his face. A soft, breathy apology leaves your swollen lips, the pressure disappearing soon after as your lover pins your body down with calloused hands, brushing off your apology with a chuckle against your skin. You do not have anything to apologize for; Arthur Morgan, a man who has escaped death more than once, would gladly let himself be smothered by your cunt if it came to it. What a way to go that would be, he thinks. The closest to heaven’s gates he will ever get. And although Arthur isn’t a man of religion, he is more than willing to spend every day and every night praying at the altar that is your body, worshipping every inch of you with his eyes, his lips, his hands. Every kiss, every mark you leave on his skin is a holy reminder of the love shared between the two of you; of the passionate nights where Arthur can forget all about his sins and fully allow himself to be bathed in the sacred light of your affections.

“There you go, beautiful. Come back to me.” he coos at you, pushing hair out of your teary eyes, a tender grin on his face. His thumb gently runs under your eyes, wiping away the moisture there as you come back to your senses, focusing on his form above you. The sight of him is like a punch to the gut; blue irises swallowed up by fully dilated pupils, lips swollen and shining with the evidence of your previous orgasms, his beard is soaked through and his breathing ragged. You let your eyes wander down to where his bulge is straining against his union suit, biting your lip. The effect is immediate— his cock twitches under your sultry gaze, a soft groan leaving your lover’s throat.

“Stop lookin’ at me like that.” Arthur warns lowly, calloused hands running over the bare skin of your thigh. You giggle, lifting yourself up to brush your lips against his, your hand running down his chest, feeling his muscles flex under your touch.

“Like what?” You ask innocently, the teasing curve of your smile betraying your oblivious act. Arthur glares at you playfully, hand coming down to squeeze your inner thigh.

“Like ye wanna do real bad things t’me.” He mutters, voice raspier than usual, dripping with arousal. Suppressing a grin, you sit up, letting your hands slide all the way down to cup him through his clothes, thumb gently pressing against the wet spot on his underwear. A sick sort of satisfaction fills you at Arthur’s reaction —pretty blue eyes fluttering closed, his lips part in a strangled moan, hips jutting forward, seeking more pressure. You allow him a few moments to bask in your touch, swirling your thumb around his tip through the fabric and cupping his balls, before taking your hands off of him, leaving him breathing heavily.

“Maybe I do wanna do real bad things to you, Mr Morgan.” you whisper against his neck, leaving open mouthed kisses over his pulse point. A satisfied little giggle leaves you when you hear him cursing under his breath, hips bucking upwards of their own volition. Your victory is short lived, however, as your lover pinches your clit in retaliation, making you cry out. Satisfied, a smug grin on his face, he finally bares himself to you, making your breath hitch. It isn’t the first time you see Arthur in all of his glory —far from it, really, but the sight of how strong, how capable he is always manages to steal the breath right from your lungs. Freckles adorn the robust planes of his shoulders, ascending all the way across the broadness of a back toned from years of hard work; a petite waist and powerful hips curve out into muscled thighs and chiseled calves— Arthur Morgan is truly a sight to behold. He flushes under your heated stare but says nothing —how wise of him, you think, for he knows by now that you would never allow him to look down on himself, not even under the pretense of a joke. You deserve better than the way you treat yourself, you’d told him a million times. And you’ll spend the rest of your life proving it— that he’s worth it, be it through words, comfort, actions or through the passionate entangling of your bodies and souls. Because sex is more than just that to the two of you; it is a way of communicating the love and the needs you have for one another— Arthur, so painstakingly touch starved before you came along, now revels in the physical familiarity you two share. From fleeting touches to lingering kisses, he simply cannot seem to get enough of you; he does not believe the longing in his heart could ever be quelled completely.

Trembling gasps leave the two of you as Arthur slides his cock between your folds, coating himself in your slick. Jolts of pleasure thrum through your body every time his tip bumps against your swollen clit, your soft cries of pleasure causing Arthur’s cock to twitch.

“Sweetheart, if you keep makin’ all them pretty noises it’s gonna be over b’fore it even starts.” His accent is thick and his voice is shaky, excited little tremors running through his body at your state of undoing —all because of him. He’s made a real mess out of the two of you; drenched, sweaty and needy — thick strips of your wetness clinging to Arthur’s lower abdomen, precum pearling over the tip of his cock and gliding down his length; yes, your lover is more than willing to drown himself in your shared desire, to indulge in the carnality of your bound. Wrapping a hand around himself, he groans behind clenched teeth, sensitive to the touch, fingers quickly getting wet from how thoroughly turned on he is. He, however, remains unashamed, having accepted long ago that he will never be in control when it comes to you —he has never felt so connected with another human being, be it physically, psychologically, mentally or emotionally and he no longer bothers trying to hide the way you make him feel.

Understood. Respected. Appreciated. Loved. Alive. He’d never felt so many emotions prior to meeting you. Had never felt so alive; had never wanted to keep going as much as he has since you walked into his life. You make it worth it.

Letting his lips brush along your brow line, Arthur curls the fingers of his free hand around one of your thighs, spreading you open for him.

“Ye still good? D’ye want me to stop?” He asks, blue eyes roaming over your bare form with tenderness, trying to assess the situation. Even with you soft, pliant and soaked underneath him, Arthur Morgan would never dare to make assumptions about your desires, would never be so single-minded as to claim you without expressed consent from your part. He needs to know you want this as much as he does, wants this to be good for you— he thrives on your pleasure and your pleasure alone; can only feel good if you are. It is one of the many reasons why you love him so deeply, but in your lusting daze, you find yourself too strung up to fully appreciate it.

“Arthur Morgan, if you stop now m’gonna kick your sorry ass—oh!” Your voice breaks off into a pitiful little whimper when his cock teases your entrance, a low, rumbling laugh leaving him.

“As you wish, m’lady.” He allows himself to be playful for a few moments longer, basking in the frustrated little furrow of your brows and your pouting lips before pushing inside in one smooth glide, aided by your shared arousal. Arthur curses under his breath as your cunt flutters around him, trying to adjust to his girth. The blunt ends of your nails leave crescent marks onto the broadness of his shoulders and Arthur clenches his jaw, doing his best to stay still and allow you a moment of reprieve from the sensations that overtake your body. Busying himself with leaving marks onto your skin, he soothes the spots where his teeth have dug into, lips moving feom your neck to your chest to take a nipple into his mouth. The loud, broken mewl you let out at the action makes him shiver, goosebumps spreading all over his skin at the sound, but he continues to stay still, waiting for you to give him the permission to go on. It’s only when your legs wrap around his waist that he does finally let himself move, pulling himself almost all the way out before sliding back in with a quick snap of his hips. Another cry leaves your lips at the action, although this time sounding strangled, your cunt clenching around your lover’s cock at the delicious friction he provides you with. Your foot presses into the meat of his ass, encouraging him to go faster, deeper— a silent demand he is quick to indulge in. A series of loud, wet noises begin resounding around the two of you, only motivating Arthur on to thrust harder; your back arching up into him when he starts battering that one spot inside of you, rough fingers coming down to rub circles onto your clit. The moans pour freely from your mouth and into his as he kisses you, tongues tangling together in a messy, sloppy fight for dominance. You’re vaguely aware of the spit trickling down your chin but are far too gone to care; the coil in your stomach getting tighter and tighter with every powerful snap of Arthur’s hips into yours. Already sensitive from your previous orgasms, you rake your nails down his back, trying to warn your lover of your impending climax. Alas, gargling moans are the only thing you can manage before you finally snap; vision going white, body going rigid under his, you repeat his name like a prayer as waves after waves of pleasure wash over you. Arthur isn’t far behind you, spurred on by your own release, a long, incredibly deep moan rumbling through his chest before he pulls out of you, sticky cum splattering across your stomach. Coming down from your high, you tuck a few strands of hair behind Arthur’s ears, fingers lingering on his face lovingly. He leans into your touch immediately, turning his head to press a gentle kiss into your palm, his body trembling with the aftermath of his own orgasm.

“Was…” He clears his throat, rolling off of you and pulling you along to rest on his chest. “Was that good f’r ya?” The gravelly tone of his voice cannot conceal the genuineness of his question, his fingers running down the length of your spine. It makes you smile— he makes you smile, your sweet cowboy. Shifting to look at him, you kiss him right over his heart, fondness warming your features.

“It was. It always is, with you. I love you.” And despite it not being the first time you utter those words— far from it, really— emotion still takes over Arthur’s heart and features, eyes shining with a sheen of tears.

Love. You love him.

No, Arthur Morgan may not be a religious man, and he remains unconvinced of God’s existence, but he does know one thing; you are his little piece of heaven on Earth.

[ghost-1-y]

Covenant

True Form!Sukuna x AFAB!Sorcerer!Reader

Content Warnings: (too many to count) MDNI, dark content, explicit sexual content, dubcon, sadomasochism, master/slave dynamics, reader binds herself to him as his slave in exchange for her life, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, double penetration (Sukuna has two cocks), oral sex (m! and f! receiving), throat fucking, lots of manhandling, HEAVY degradation (Sukuna is MEAN), humiliation, spanking as punishment, Sukuna does not care about reader’s pleasure, multiple creampies, lots of hair pulling, dacryphilia, reader does experience pain during this encounter (and Sukuna doesn’t care); mentions of reader going through sexual training, mentions of reader becoming a concubine, please read with caution, MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT!!!

Summary: Having been one of the sorcerers of the Heian Era to attempt to eradicate the King of Curses from the face of the earth, you were the least bit surprised to find yourself awaiting death within Sukuna’s domain. What you didn’t expect was that the Disgraced One had other plans awaiting you, to which you selfishly conceded if it meant you were allowed to live yet another day.

Word Count: ~3k

Divider Credit: @/benkeibear

A/N: so…I’m not a fan of Sukuna (*cough* manga *cough*) so I made him pretty fucking mean in this (because lets be real, he would not treat you nicely, you’re lucky if he doesn’t k!ll you) HOWEVER True Form!Sukuna got me feeling some type of way (unfortunately I’m a little bit delulu and tend to think with my pussy). So please heed the content warnings in this, and please read with caution. 

Paralysis.

That’s what it felt like, an immovable body in the presence of someone’s indomitable will. It was a fearsome thing to behold – the vast difference in abilities between you and your opponent. Your mind, however, raced – memories of the life you lived beginning to dwindle in awe of the destruction that would wreck your body in the next coming moments, until slowly it became nothing but a darkness which was inescapable, with only thoughts of blood splatter and broken bones crushed under the weight of your own foolishness.

“Domain Expansion—” the monster before you uttered, a smirk on his face so vile that your muscles rebelled and brought you down to your knees, nerves igniting across your body in waves as you imagined the pain of death tearing you apart. He hadn’t even touched you yet, and you already felt the effects of your life being strewn into mere threads as he stood across from you.

“—Malevolent Shrine.”

A simple pattern of hand movements, really, yet its raw power was so extreme that it brought about what was considered to be the pinnacle of jujutsu. If your mind weren’t already broken from fear, you may have marveled at the intricacies of the domain. A Buddhist shrine, which was surrounded by animal skulls and, at the center, an open maw of teeth and tongue which was erected behind the Disgraced One. A glance around yourself, and you’d realize that your surroundings had barely changed – other than the obvious death which awaited you as your body knelt in defeat, but you did wonder if the blood which soaked the floor beneath the King of Curses was a bath of yours which had yet to be spilled.

You closed your eyes, awaiting a death so horrific that you hoped it would end quickly. Yet, as you waited, instead of feeling your body torn apart, you heard the footsteps of the monster walking towards you.

“You humans are pathetic,” it laughed, “thinking you stood even the slightest chance of defeating someone as powerful as I.”

You were shaking, unable to look up at him as he got close enough to touch you.

“However, an insect such as yourself seems to have some intelligence, you at least know not to look at me whilst I grace your presence.” The monster grabbed your hair, balling it up in his fist and forcing your head up. “Maybe you have some potential,” he mused, before throwing you back to the ground, causing you to fall on your side.

“Are– are you gonna kill me?” you asked stupidly, but the fear consuming your soul made you want this to be over with, to seek the sweet release that death would bring compared to being in such a malicious presence.

Sukuna chuckled, “good job, insect,” he mocked, “of course I will, I was just…interested in something is all.”

Your ears perked up, and a semblance of logic returned to you – your survival instincts kicking in after the sheer panic of being faced with death started to subside. You kept your head low, not wanting to upset him and lower your chances of escape – although really, you deemed it pretty much impossible in your current circumstances.

“Please, I’ll– I’ll do anything, I– I promise! If– if you just let me live, please–” you exclaimed, your words sounding like a broken record as you spoke. He threw his head back, a maniacal laugh escaping his throat.

“I love when you humans beg. It’s so sweet seeing your dignity, your morals, everything slowly dissipate as you plead for your lives, all replaced by pure cowardice.” 

“Please–”

He suddenly appeared before you, eyes boring into your soul, causing you to flinch while averting his gaze – “and what makes you think I should grant such a wish?”

His voice was cold, but, as he gazed at you more, eyes raking over your body, his demeanor shifted.

“You’re disgraceful,” he started, “perhaps I could put some use to that.”

You opened your eyes, but didn’t dare look up. Your neck started to ache from the angle you forced it into. Sukuna started walking back to where the shrine had been erected, before he turned and sat upon the maw that took up the inside of it. He performed a “come hither” motion with two of his fingers, and spoke.

“Stand up, insect, and come to me,” he smirked.

You did exactly as you were told, eyes trained on the ground as you stood up and stepped forward, only stopping by the time you reached the steps of the shrine.

“Kneel.”

You fell to your knees, and he grinned.

“I was right. You are disgraceful. You’d do anything to survive, like a goddamn cockroach,” he spat. Your face flushed in shame as you listened to his words, your hands shaking as you bowed before him.

“But, you amuse me,” he considered, “so, if you’ll do anything like you said, then you will become my slave. You’ll do everything for me– you’ll cook my food, feed me, clothe me, bathe me,” he continued, before an even more malicious thought came to his head, “and you’ll let me use you however I want.”

Your muscles tensed, but you nodded, breath shaky as you uttered an “okay”. Sukuna stood up and walked towards you.

“Then we will initiate a binding vow, in exchange for me not being allowed to kill you, you will become my slave and do everything aforementioned – all for my sake,” Sukuna proposed, “do you understand this set of conditions?”

You nodded, and accepted the conditions. Pitiful, you thought, but if it meant he couldn’t kill you, then it was worth it.

Right?

“Then gaze upon your Master, pet,” he commanded.

You raised your head to look at him, and, now that your anxiety had settled slightly with the threat of death no longer looming over you, you had a chance to fully take in his form. 

He was tall, and not in the sense of how humans are tall – fully standing, you imagined he reached just over three meters, and his build filled in his height extremely well, with his broad shoulders and toned chest exposed as the top of his kimono fell around his waist. Yet, what caught your attention was his arms – four of them which all boasted muscle and markings that matched the rest of him, with veiny hands and nails sharpened like claws.

He smirked as you looked at him, chuckling as your eyes focused on his torso, where a second mouth lay, the tongue of which stuck out in full view. You averted your eyes, blushing at the images that came to your head upon seeing such an anomaly.

“Oh? Does this slave already look fondly upon its Master? Have you no shame left at all?” he mocked, before completely discarding his kimono and fundoshi, completely exposing himself in front of you, before taking a step forward.

“I told you to gaze upon me, slave. Do as you’re told.” His voice was firm, and, not wishing to disobey him, you looked upon him once more, only for your jaw to drop at his…endowment.

He had two cocks.

One was above the other, and both were huge and fully erect. You’d guess that they spanned a length of nearly ten inches each, and were leaking copious amounts of precum from each tip.

“Prove your eagerness to serve me, pet,” he commanded, walking towards you so his cocks were hovering above your face. You stood up, having to be at full height to reach his hips, and hesitantly wrapped your hand around his lower cock, before realizing that you couldn’t wrap a single hand around him and have your fingers touch. You took your other hand and wrapped it around his second cock, before slowly stroking them along each of their lengths, lubing them up with his precum. His muscles tensed at your touch, but showed no other reaction. You licked carefully at the head of the first one, both hands stroking in cadence with each other, squeezing carefully as you became bold enough to suck the bulbous head of his cock.

“Good pet, you seem to know how to serve others well,” he grunted, crossing two of his arms before one of his free hands reached down to grab your hair, forcing you to take more of his cock as you stroked the other at a quickened pace. He moved your head along his length until you were gagging and coughing, “what’s wrong, slut? Can’t fit this cock inside that whorish mouth of yours? You’re more useless than I initially thought.” He pulled you off of him so you could breathe before putting his cock inside your mouth once more, forcing your head to bob back and forth along the length of his dick.

“Don’t worry, pet, I’ll train you nice and good so you’ll be able to suck my cocks properly.” 

You whined, the vibrations traveling along his dick, causing him to tense once more. 

“Yeah? Knew you’d fuckin’ like that, slut.”

You stayed like that for what seemed to be hours, with only the sounds of your mouth and his grunts filling the room, until he finally pulled you off of him. Two of his arms then grabbed you by the waist and turned you upside down, bending you at your hips so your legs wrapped around his torso, placing your cunt right above the large tongue that stuck out from his abdomen, holding you in place so your head was in line with his other cock – waiting for you to give it the same treatment as the first one. 

“Don’t be mistaken, pet, this is purely for my pleasure. I don’t give a fuck if you cum or not, understood?” he spat.

“Yes, Master,” you whimpered, and he licked a broad stripe up your pussy, the flat of his tongue easily engulfing the entire area between your thighs, causing you to moan out his title. He ignored your clit, instead deciding to lap up the juices weeping out of your needy cunt. You shuddered as you took one of his cocks in your hand, collecting the precum that seeped out from its tip and using it as lubricant as you stroked along his thick length, and again licked along the slit of it before taking the head in your mouth. Using your other hand, you brought both of his cocks together in your grip, pulling off of the first one with a lewd pop before tracing your tongue along both of the tips, earning a groan from him.

His tongue bullied itself into your tight pussy, stretching it beyond what you thought you’d be able to take, pushing it against your walls and curling it into that one sensitive area inside your cunt. His saliva mixed with your own sweetness as he slurped and sucked at your heat, his grunts sending vibrations up to your clit, causing you to moan. You alternated between his two cocks, taking one dick in your mouth and sucking at its head before moving to the other – both equally thick and heavy as you settled them into your mouth. You tried going deeper, but ended up gagging before even half of his length passed through your lips. Without any warning, Sukuna let out a low growl as his cum released into your mouth and spurted all over your face, leaving you a complete mess as he took you by the leg and dropped you onto the ground. 

Thinking you were done, you got up on your knees and bowed to him once more, expecting some form of dismissal for the time being until he called upon you again.

Instead, he pulled you up once more by the hair, causing you to wince in pain.

“What makes you think we’re done here, pet? Surely you don’t think that one round is enough to deplete me of stamina, do you really think so little of your own Master?” he sneered, causing you to shiver as you reminded yourself that he can’t kill you, that it’s okay. 

But then, he placed you onto his large lap so that you were on all fours while atop him, and took one of his hands to grip your jaw, while a second grabbed a fistful of your hair and pulled your head back, using his grip to open your jaw. He glared down at you before spitting into your open mouth, not caring that it landed on your lips as well.

Smack!

You jolted forward, the shock of the impact on your ass surprising you more than anything else, but then he landed another blow, and another, having fully wound his hand back before landing each spank on your now reddened asscheeks. Tears formed in your eyes, the pain too much for you to handle.

Smack!

Smack!

Smack!

“How pathetic, unable to handle the punishment I give you. I’m not even trying to hurt you, y’know, you’re just that weak, pet.” He emphasized his point with one last spank before rubbing his hand over each of your asscheeks, causing you to whine at how raw your skin felt underneath his roughened palms. 

“Now, are you going to be a good slut for your Master? Or am I going to have to punish you further?” he threatened, and you shook your head, tears streaming down your cheeks.

“I’ll– I’ll be good, Master, p-promise!” you stuttered.

Sukuna grunted in response, and took you by the hips and forced you off of his lap, turning you so that you were facing away from him. He hunched over you, his incredibly large frame engulfing yours as he rubbed his cocks up against your small, weeping pussy. Your heart rate quickened, not sure you’d be able to take the size of them both at the same time.

But, it seemed as though Sukuna was feeling merciful, and started by only shoving one of them into your hot cunt, sinking balls deep as he forced himself fully into you, not waiting for you to adapt to his size. His second cock found itself brushing against your clit, giving you small sparks of pleasure that offset the pain just enough for you to tolerate him. His thrusts were fast and harsh, pounding into you as though you were no more than a fucktoy for him to use.

Your breath caught in your throat, eyes rolling back as he gripped your hair with one of his arms and pulled it back towards him. Two more hands were gripping your hips as his cock slammed into you, with his other cock roughly sliding against your clit. You let out a moan, prompting him to use his fourth hand to cover your mouth, muffling the sounds that gurgled in your throat.

“Did I ever give you permission to make noise like that?” he asked, his grip on your hair tightening. You tried shaking your head, tears falling from your eyes as he continued pounding into you. “I didn’t, so be a good slave and keep your whore mouth quiet.”

He thrust harder into you, his cock twitching and throbbing inside your gushing cunt. With one final thrust, his cum exploded inside of you, filling you up until it leaked out of your abused pussy, triggering your own accidental orgasm as you writhed underneath his intimidating form.

“Such a fucking whore, cumming all because I filled you up. You’re like a bitch in fucking heat, a needy little fucktoy,” he growled, emphasizing his words with harsh thrusts into your messy cunt. He lined up his second cock, the head of it pushing against your already-filled pussy.

“Such a whore cunt should be able to take both of these at the same time, right?” he smirked, and you let out a muffled scream as he pressed his second cock into your tight hole, this time giving you a second to deal with the pain shooting through your lower abdomen, the stretch being way too much for your poor cunt to properly accommodate him.

“Shit– so fucking tight, can’t even push my cock all the way in. Gonna have to train you to take ‘em, slut – gonna become the perfect little concubine for me, aren’t ya?” He growled, emphasizing his words by thrusting his cocks deep into your pussy. You whined into his hand as you took the abuse he dealt to your pussy, the stretch nearly unbearable between the push and pull of his cocks, the sting of the each drag against your walls eventually melting into pleasure the more he fucked into you. 

He landed one last smack on your ass, which would’ve caused you to fall over had he not been gripping your hips so tightly, and, without warning, another orgasm ripped from you. You screamed into his hand, eyes rolling back as you were consumed by the sudden onset of pleasure which started in your gut and spread through your veins like wildfire. Your thighs shook, and with one last thrust into your poor cunt, he spilled his seed into your womb – his cock throbbing as ropes of his cum painted your walls white.

“Fuck–” he groaned, “maybe you do have a use, hm?”

You couldn’t respond, the aftershocks of your orgasm too much for you to adequately think, much less provide a reply.

“Don’t make me regret this, slave.” His grip on your hair tightened. “Don’t make me regret not killing you.”

His hand finally let go from being clasped around your mouth, and the rest of his hands softened their grip on you. You collapsed on the floor before him as he released his domain expansion, reveling in the sweet taste of life upon your tongue and in your soul as his cum leaked out of you. 

“Yes…yes, Master…promise you won’ regret it,” you babbled, reaching your hand in between your legs to push his cum back inside of you, not wanting to waste a single drop of your Master’s gift to you. You were happy that he was gracious enough to use your pussy as a cum receptacle – deeming you worthy enough to take his precious seed.

That was your only purpose now, after all.

Taglist: @k-a-t-h-r-i-n-a, @wow-im-gay, @peanutpunchy, @love-me-satoru, @perfect-again, @pastelbluecloudy3, @dinosaur-crime-scene, @llearlert, @thisbicc, @gojoscumslut, @everyonesfinaldestination, @leehoonii-i, @kyojurismo, @crazycatlddy, @briefrebelfanalmond, @izuoyarmin, @ahashiraswife, @d1gitalbathh, @homo-homini-lupus-est-1701

(if your name is crossed out, it means tumblr didn't allow me to tag you - apologies for the inconvenience)

Thank you for reading!

[pennyellee]

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐗 - 𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐮𝐧𝐚

LACRIMOSA | MYG MAFIA YANDERE AU

pairings: mafia leader!yoongi x f!reader genre: mafia!au, yandere au, historical au

summary: Their interlocking gaze served as a butterfly effect on his heart, stirring it to the core. She, in turn, only dreams to find a way to escape. But perchance, over time she might forcefully learn to love the man who has taken so much from her.

Thus unfolds a twisted tale of love and loss, of hope and despair, of life and death. The music reverberated through the dimly-lit streets. Tears of sorrow, weeping symphony - reflects the hurt, the scars that linger deep within and the wounds that never healed. Lacrimosa.

warnings: minors dni 18+ | mafia au, dark!yoongi, mafia!yoongi, mentions of antidepressants, anxiety, panic attacks, nightmares, mentions of night terrors, mentions of self harm, manipulative behaviour, mentions of labotomy, medical cases, intimate life, diseases, “failed” pregnancy, alcohol, medication, etc.

beta read by @chaoticpuff17

word count: 8,7K

disclaimer: this story is purely fictional, it does not depict real-life events or involve any actual members of BTS. This story will contain depictions of violence, blood shed, death, mentions of abuse, smoking, alcohol drinking, illegal activities, old social norms and traditions, which we do not condone.

A/N: so yes, it took me a while to actually finish this chapter and as I mentioned - it’s shorter than what I usually want to write for lacrimosa. Truth to be told, this is what I can do for now till I get something better to write on. I don’t know when the next chapter will be written and up, so for now thank you for your patience, i actually didnt think i would write a chapter whilst im in US coz the only device on my person is my phone, but im very happy I managed to write something. This chapter is more of a prequel go what’s going to happen next. Many of you actually guessed/predicted some things right and for some you have to wait till the very end, we’re near it.

Massive thank you goes to @chaoticpuff17 who managed to beta read it despite both our situations being crazy rn, ily queen 🥹🫧🩵

Love you all, p.

m.list previous next

lacuna (n.) a blank space, missing part

The night was relentless, a symphony of thunderclaps and the steady drum of rain against the cobblestones. The celebrations of the famous Kkangpae toned down, and after some months, several trips to the barren debris land of where Yakuza reigned, they returned safely to the sanctuary.

Back where she cannot hide from him in the stables, kitchen or sunroom, switching from one room to another just to not be in his presence for longer than she wanted. Yet, he managed to steal her away when his frustration boiled up enough. Y/N could’ve hinted how much she doesn’t want him to sleep next to her all she wants, he kept sneaking in and out every time. Yoongi was patient, determined even. Determined to make things right this time by giving her space. But the wrenching feeling of not having her close enough consumed him, night, day and moon.

Yoongi kept his promise, giving Y/N the space she needed while gradually attempting to rebuild the trust that had been shattered. He was careful with his words, patient in his actions, and ever attentive to her unspoken needs. The pair worked on their friendship these past weeks, he wanted himself to be her person. The person that she would love and lean on.

But the young Buin might seem calm now, from outside, but her wit remained under the surface. She buried herself deep within her psyche and doctor Kim could do very little to “repair” her. Not even renown specialists who came to give the young girl a helping hand did not succeed.

Yoongi watched her from a distance yet at the same time he was so close, his heart aching with the knowledge that he was partly to blame for her withdrawal. He had been too harsh, too controlling. Now, he was paying the price. He wanted nothing more than to hold her, to whisper apologies and promises into her ear. But every time he approached, he could see the fear and distrust in her eyes. It was a barrier he didn't know how to break.

Wang Xiaoqing’s wisdom was passed onto her, they whispered. But truth to be told, the elder woman, may she rest in peace, underestimated the new blood. The following legacy. Now, her kin suffers.

Yoongi wishes he never used the letter as leverage against her nor let her read it. At night he wonders whether that would change things. Whether by now she would be in love with him just as much he’s in love with her.

He sat down with the rest of his family at the dinner table after she broke down with yet another panic attack. The dining room was oppressively silent, the atmosphere thick with unspoken tension. It wasn’t even the end of January, and the snow was still prevailing outside. Yoongi sat at the head of the table, his expression a mask of stoic resolve, though his heart was anything but calm.

Y/N was conspicuously absent, her chair at the table glaringly empty. Yoongi's mind replayed the scene from earlier, the look of sheer panic in her eyes as she had crumbled under the weight of her emotions. He had wanted to reach out to her, to offer comfort, but he knew his presence would only worsen her distress.

Clearing his throat, Yoongi broke the silence, his voice strained but firm.

“I know you care about me. About this family—”

“I’ve made mistakes—mistakes that have pushed her to the edge.”

“No, Yoongi—” the right hand man straightened himself in his seat interrupting his leader.

Yoongi’s eyes flickered with a mixture of frustration and sorrow as he turned to face his right-hand man, Namjoon. The room held its breath, tension crackling in the air.

“Namjoon, please,” Yoongi said, his voice weary. “My wife slit her throat, stop justifying my actions.”

Namjoon hesitated but nodded, leaning back in his chair, his expression still troubled. Yoongi took a deep breath, steeling himself to continue.

"I pushed her too far, and now she's breaking—”

“Now, I don’t know what your intentions are with my wife, but I forbid you from whatever you are putting into her head.”

Namjoon's eyes widened in shock at Yoongi's words, his mouth opening and closing as if searching for the right response. The weight of Yoongi's accusation hung heavy in the air, and the room seemed to grow even quieter, the tension palpable.

Yoongi's jaw clenched, his frustration simmering beneath the surface. He had always trusted Namjoon implicitly, had relied on him as his closest confidant and advisor. But now, in the wake of Y/N's pain and suffering, he couldn't help but wonder if that trust had been misplaced.

“All of you.”

“Yoongi, I swear—” Namjoon began, his voice tinged with desperation. But Yoongi held up a hand, cutting him off.

“I don't want to hear it, Namjoon,” he said, his tone final.

“Whatever it is, I’m giving her the space to tell me herself.” Namjoon's gaze faltered under Yoongi's intense stare.

“I would never intentionally do anything to harm Y/N or come between you two. She's like family to me, too.” Yoongi's jaw clenched tighter, but he nodded curtly, acknowledging Namjoon's words.

“Seokjin.” He addressed the oldest man in the room.

“Yes, Yoongi?” Seokjin replied, his voice steady despite the gravity of the situation.

“She’s still taking those pills you gave her,” Seokjin's brow furrowed in concern at Yoongi's words. They were only a temporary solution before Seokjin decided that day to put her on barbiturates. She needs his help and if he cannot help her the way he knows it will be most effective, he’ll at least prescribe whatever will tone down her night terrors so she can sleep at nights.

"I'll talk to her," he said firmly. “But you know what would certainly help her—” Yoongi’s hand flew high to hit the table, making everybody twitch at the loud noise.

“No, Seokjin. No.” The family members exchanged solemn nods. Yoongi took a moment to compose himself, his chest heaving with pent-up frustration.

"She needs more support than we can provide on our own. We have to consider what's best for her.” Yoongi struggled to find the words to express his feelings. "I know, Seokjin," he replied, his voice thick with emotion. "But that is going way too far.”

Namjoon leaned forward, his expression earnest. The youngest at the end of the table cleared his throat. All eyes turned to him, waiting for his input. Jungkook hesitated for a moment, feeling the weight of the tension in the room, before speaking up.

“Maybe you just need to stop shielding her in. Let her live a life—” Jungkook's suggestion hung in the air, a fresh perspective on the situation that caused the family members to exchange thoughtful glances.

Yoongi's brow furrowed as he considered Jungkook's words, the idea of allowing Y/N more freedom conflicting with his instinct to protect her.

“But what if she runs for the hills, Kook.” Park Jimin’s voice echoed from across the room, his hands busy pouring the strong liquor to seven crystal glasses. Yoongi's gaze flickered towards Jimin, setting the first glass in front of him.

"I can't bear the thought of her running away from me again," Yoongi admitted, his voice heavy with emotion. Hoseok nodded in agreement, his expression sombre.

Jungkook nodded thoughtfully, understanding Yoongi's apprehension. "I get where you're coming from, hyung,—” Jimin set down the last glass of liquor, his expression sympathetic.

“I’d say, nonetheless, she needs something to occupy her mind other than those thoughts.” Said Jimin sitting down on his chair while nursing his own glass of the booze.

"Maybe if we can find something that brings her joy, something to distract her—” Seokjin nodded in agreement, his expression thoughtful.

“She studied, tasted her own freedom and now all she’s left with is being your wife.” Yoongi's heart clenched at Jimin's words, a pang of guilt washing over him. But still a large part of him was thinking why it is not enough.

“She can work with me once she’s better.” The doctor interjected. Yoongi's gaze shifted towards Seokjin, a flicker of hope igniting within him at the suggestion.

"You think she'd be up for it?" Yoongi asked, his voice tentative yet hopeful.

“Ah hyung you’re so in the dark—” Jungkook remarked. Jungkook sighed, his gaze meeting Yoongi's with empathy.

“She needs to feel like she has a say in her own life, like she's not just living for someone else.” Where this newfound wisdom arose, Yoongi did not know. But he was glad for the support of his family men.

Hoseok placed a reassuring hand on Yoongi's shoulder, his expression filled with empathy.

“She knows so much about herbs, remedies, I think she’ll be happy to help Seokjin.” Yoongi's heart swelled with gratitude for Hoseok's insight. He hadn't fully realised the extent of Y/N's knowledge and interests outside of their marriage and that needed to change.

“Don’t tell her just yet.” The right hand man remarked.

“Yes, I want to give her more time to recover before we come back to the sanctuary.” The other family members murmured their agreement, a sense of solidarity and understanding settling over them. After all, at the end of the day it is a happy wife, happy life.

But months later, Y/N understood that if there’s even a slight possibility that the scarred leader will grow for better, it would be a painfully long process. She realised so once he returned with his knuckles all bruised and bloodied one night. She tended to them, and he was basking under her touch. Despite everything, she couldn’t ignore the humanity in his pain.

Her eyes rolled and a loud sigh followed when she understood what was the cause of his lapse of senses. He had let his frustration and anger take over him, but rather than put it out on everyone else like he was known for, he silently left his office to vent his anger elsewhere. She guided him to sit down after she asked the maid to bring her everything she needed to clean his wounds.

Yoongi watched her, his eyes filled with a mix of gratitude and excitement under her delicate touch. The feel of her hands, so careful and tender, was both a comfort and a torment. The imagery masking all the darkness that loomed over them, they would fool even the Lord himself that this couple is one of love.

They sat in silence, the only sound the soft rustle of bandages and the distant rumble of thunder outside. Yoongi closed his eyes, leaning into her touch. It was a small gesture, but it spoke volumes to him. She avoided him less and less. So why did he have to let his steam off so suddenly?

“You know—” she began, focusing on his other hand now.

“You’re not really setting a good example of “communication is the key ”, now do you?”

Yoongi's eyes flickered open at her words, a hint of guilt flashing across his features before he quickly masked it with a neutral expression. He couldn't deny the truth in her statement, nor could he easily articulate the tangled mess of emotions that swirled within him.

His mind drifted back to the hushed whispers, the concerned looks from Seokjin. Y/N was still fairly weak in terms of her health. Yet, he hoped that maybe, just maybe, she’ll come to tell him he’s going to be a father. Foolish of him, he knows. Selfish of him, he knows that too.

“I’m sorry, Dove.” He only muttered, forcing a kiss to her sphenoid bone, it was the only affection she rarely allowed him to show. Y/N knew that if she wanted to persuade him that she isn’t a flying risk, she’ll have to allow him to do more. She progressed slowly, with patience and space to breathe everything out.

The reason the young leader needed to vent his anger was obvious to Y/N. She heard the maid that so blatantly spied on everything she did, what she asked for, and whom she talks to on the telephone. Y/N was cautious, yet today, she had to ask for some feminine goods. She understood where his hope for a baby came from, he got himself to believe that once the monthly bleeding did not come the first, second nor the third month.

The young gal, however, knew that this has nothing to do with the possibility of her being pregnant. She still drank the remedy, just to be sure, and for her peace of mind as it bore too many demons already. The fourth month her body decided it’s time to function again and of course the devoted maid reported that right back to her husband whose hope for a child vanished.

“I was hoping we could go see Ma and little Bo Cheng before the wedding, I promised to teach him how to ride a ho—” she began her request carefully. Y/N had managed to negotiate Daiyu’s extended vacation in America with her young son and Kai, yet she couldn’t shake the strong feeling that Yoongi had only allowed such a thing to happen because he felt indebted to her at the moment. Her state was far more delicate than he thought and he desperately wanted to make her happy. The one thing she wanted the most, he couldn’t grant. Freedom.

“Would that make you happy?” Yoongi interrupted. He sighed, his eyes drifting to the window where dark clouds gathered on the horizon.

For the first time in what felt like an eternity, a small, hesitant smile tugged at Y/N’s lips. It was a fragile thing, easily shattered, but it was real. And in that moment, Yoongi vowed to himself that he would protect that smile, nurture it, and help it grow.

“Yes, it would. Maybe we could also pay a visit to Daiyu—” Y/N sucked her lips in and shyly smiled again. Yoongi nodded slowly. He sighed, leaning back in his chair, his fingers drumming against the armrests. The weight of their precarious situation pressed down on him, the knowledge that every decision could have far-reaching consequences hanging over them like a dark cloud.

“I’m not sure about that, sweetling,” he replied, his voice tinged with uncertainty. Her heart clenched, did he understand her intentions?

“You said you’ll give me the world, Yoongi. Why not this?” Y/N’s smile faltered, a flicker of disappointment crossing her features.

Yoongi’s gaze softened further, a mixture of regret and longing in his eyes. He reached out, taking her hand in his, his touch gentle and reassuring.

“I will consider this trip, but we have to be cautious now. War is looming on the horizon.” He explained, his tone serious.

“What do you mean war? You’ve just won one,” she challenged, her voice laced with disbelief.

“The world is a volatile place, Dove. Our battle was nothing in comparison to what is to come. The world will fight—” Yoongi’s expression darkened, the weight of their past victories suddenly overshadowed by the looming threat of conflict. Y/N’s heart sank at the mention of war, a cold knot forming in the pit of her stomach.

“Until we’re certain there’s no threat, I want us to remain in Korea, my love.” he declared, his final words.

Y/N’s heart sank at his words, but she forced herself to nod, understanding the gravity of their situation. The war threatened to consume them all, and they had to tread carefully if they were to survive. Y/N nodded slowly to his words.

“She wrote to you this morning, didn’t she?” Y/N couldn’t shake the feeling that she’s running out of time. If they were caught up in the chaos, she feared she may never leave this place. And with Yoongi’s resolve to remain in Korea, their window of opportunity grew smaller with each passing moment. It was worth the shot, he wouldn’t let her slip that easily if there’s an actual threat that the world’s will battle.

“She met someone,” Y/N added softly, her voice tinged with uncertainty of how Yoongi will react. He, however, already knew. There was nothing that would go past him or so he thought.

"She met someone?" he repeated, his voice tinged with false scepticism. Y/N's heart ached at the doubt in Yoongi's voice, but she held firm in her conviction.

“She’s a widow with a child, who—”

“Happy widow with a child—” she inserted herself into his remark. "She deserves it, Yoongi. After everything she's been through, she deserves a chance at love and happiness.”

“Daiyu is no longer tied to the syndicate. You promised not to meddle with her affairs unless she needs help.” She reminded him less gently, her voice tinged with a hint of caution.

“I intend to keep that promise.” Lie. He already knew the man who so openly started to court her. A sense of relief washed over Y/N as she watched Yoongi's resistance soften, even if it was pretended.

“The rain won’t stop pouring—” Y/N’s voice trailed off, a sombre note creeping into her tone as she glanced out the window at the stormy sky.

“How do you feel today?” Yoongi observed Y/N for a moment, his expression softening as he took in her weary demeanour.

“Better than yesterday.” She replied, her voice carrying a hint of resilience. Yoongi nodded, a sense of relief washing over him at her response. Despite the challenges they faced, he was grateful for every moment of peace they could find amidst the storm.

He noticed the subtle signs of improvement in her appearance. Her cheeks, once sunken and lifeless, now held a hint of colour, and the dark circles under her eyes seemed less pronounced. Her eyes sparkled differently, not with tears as of late. Whatever Seokjin is doing to help her, it is working.

“Have you slept well?” he inquired gently, his voice filled with genuine concern. From Monday to Friday, storms reigned over the hidden valley. Yoongi reached out, gently brushing a stray strand of hair away from her face, his touch tender and reassuring. Her dark hair grew enough to reach past her shoulders since the unfortunate event back in October.

“It wasn't the best, but it was better than before.” Yoongi nodded in understanding, his gaze lingering on her with a mixture of admiration and concern. He knew that even the smallest victories, like a few hours of sleep, were worth celebrating in their tumultuous world. After all the night terrors she endured for months.

“How’s working with Seokjin?” He knew how demanding their roles could be, especially in the midst of ongoing turmoil. Yoongi expected her to sigh just as softly as she always does, her expression to reflect the weight of responsibility, but none of that happened. Y/N smiled at him brightly instead.

Y/N's smile was like a ray of sunlight breaking through the clouds, momentarily dispelling the shadows that lingered around them.

“Work has been great. I've been able to help so many people—” she replied, her voice infused with a sense of optimism that Yoongi hadn't heard in a while. As she spoke, Y/N’s eyes lit up with enthusiasm, a stark contrast to the weariness that had plagued her in recent months.

“Did you know that punk, Jungkook, pretends to be sick every other day just to swing by?” Y/N’s voice was filled with amusement as she recounted the antics of the youngest of the seven. Though older than her, she did not feel any age difference between them two.

Yoongi couldn’t help but chuckle at the mention of Jungkook's antics.

"That sounds like him," he remarked, a fond smile playing at his lips. She continued, her words flowing freely as she recounted her experiences while working with Seokjin at the clinic.

“Seokjin has been a wonderful mentor,” she continued, her eyes shining with gratitude. “He’s taught me so much more than we actually studied at school—” Yoongi nodded in agreement, a sense of pride swelling within him as he listened to Y/N's tales of their work at the clinic.

“I remember this one young man who had sustained severe burns on his arms. The sight of his injuries was heart-breaking, but I could see the determination in his eyes to overcome the pain.” Y/N’s voice softened with emotion as she recalled the moment.

"We worked tirelessly to stabilise him, and when he finally regained consciousness, the look of gratitude in his eyes made all the long hours and hard work worth it. It was a reminder of why I wanted to be a nurse in the first place—to make a difference in people’s lives, no matter how small.”

Yoongi listened intently, his heart swelling with a mixture of emotions. He couldn’t help but feel a pang of regret for not allowing her to pursue her passion for nursing earlier.

He may not be able to undo the past, but he could certainly make sure that she had all the support she needed to thrive in the future. The youngest was right. She needed this, she needed to regain her purpose in her life. To be someone for herself.

He realised how much he had underestimated her need for work, how vital it was for her to have a sense of purpose and fulfilment. There was still hope and goodness.

Yoongi listened to all the stories she had to say as for the first time since forever, there were no tears, no screams, no tension in the air. Just the calm, steady rhythm of their shared breaths.

“You know,” Yoongi began, his voice soft, "I'm proud of you. Proud of everything you've accomplished and the progress you’re making. I should have let you do this sooner.”

“Can’t change the past now can we?” He nodded to her remark solemnly, squeezing her hand.

“Tell me more,—” he urged, eager to hear more about her work, her passion. He wanted to be part of her world just like she is part of his, to support her in every way possible.

Y/N smiled, her face glowing with happiness. “Well, there’s this little girl named Jang-mi. She’s been coming in for treatment regularly, and despite everything, she's always so cheerful—”

Y/N pulled her coat tighter around her, feeling the icy water seep through the fabric. Her breath came in shallow gasps, mixing with the cold air to form small clouds that dissipated as quickly as they appeared. She huddled beneath the overhang of a small alley, her body shivering uncontrollably. The once comforting weight of her coat now felt like a burden, soaked and heavy.

Her mind raced, a chaotic swirl of fear and desperation. The past few days had been a whirlwind of terror and confusion. She had trusted the wrong people, made alliances that crumbled under the weight of deceit. Every step she took seemed to lead her deeper into a labyrinth of danger and uncertainty. She couldn’t afford another mistake; the stakes were too high. The sound of her own heartbeat was loud in her ears, a constant reminder of the life-or-death game she was playing.

A sudden flash of lightning split the sky, casting stark shadows and illuminating the alley in a harsh, white light. For a brief moment, everything was clear and sharp, every detail etched into her memory. That’s when she saw him.

At the mouth of the alley is where he stood , his figure backlit by the brilliant light. He was drenched, his hair plastered to his forehead, but he seemed unfazed by the torrential rain. His presence was as menacing as ever, a dark silhouette against the night. His eyes, however, were what held her captive. They were dark, deep pools of unreadable emotion, reflecting the storm’s fury.

Yoongi didn’t move, didn’t speak. He simply watched her, his gaze intense and unwavering. It was a look she had seen before, one that sent chills down her spine. It was the look of a predator sizing up its prey. She knew then, with a sickening certainty, that no matter how far she ran, he would always be one step ahead.

Panic surged through her, threatening to overwhelm her senses. She pressed herself against the wall, the rough brick scraping her skin through the thin material of her coat. She needed to think, to find a way out, but her mind was a blur of fear and fatigue. The rain continued to pour, the cold seeping into her bones, making her limbs feel heavy and uncooperative.

Yoongi took a step forward, the movement slow and deliberate. His boots splashed in the puddles, the sound muffled by the storm. Y/N’s heart pounded in her chest, a wild, frantic rhythm. She felt like a trapped animal, cornered with no way out. The alley was a dead end, and Yoongi was blocking her only escape route.

“Y/N,” he said, his voice low and smooth, cutting through the noise of the storm. “You can’t keep running.”

His words were a cold, hard truth that she didn’t want to accept. But she had no choice. Every attempt to escape had led her right back to him, like a cruel game of cat and mouse. She swallowed hard, her throat dry despite the rain. She had to keep fighting, had to find a way to break free from his grip.

“I won’t let you control me,” she said, her voice shaking but determined. “I’ll find a way out.”

Yoongi’s expression didn’t change, but there was a flicker of something in his eyes—amusement, perhaps, or admiration for her defiance. “You’re stronger than I thought,” he said, taking another step closer. “But strength alone won’t save you.”

He was close now, close enough that she could see the droplets of rain clinging to his eyelashes, the way his clothes clung to his body. His presence was overwhelming, a dark force that seemed to consume all the light around him. She knew she had to act, had to do something before it was too late.

Summoning every ounce of courage, Y/N pushed off the wall and lunged towards him, hoping to catch him off guard. But Yoongi was ready. His hand shot out, grabbing her wrist with a grip like iron. She struggled, twisting and pulling, but he was too strong.

“Let me fucking go!” she cried, her voice breaking with desperation.

Yoongi pulled her closer, his other hand coming up to cup her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze. “You’re mine, Y/N,” he said softly, his breath warm against her skin. “And I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe. Even if it means protecting you from yourself.”

Tears mingled with the rain on her cheeks as she realised the futility of her struggle. Yoongi’s words were a chilling promise, one that she knew he would keep. She was trapped, caught in a web of his making, with no way out.

The storm raged on around them, but in that moment, all Y/N could feel was the cold, unyielding grip of the man she used to fear, and the inescapable reality of her situation.

Y/N woke with a start, her breath coming in ragged gasps as the remnants of the nightmare clung to her mind. Her body was drenched in cold sweat, and her heart pounded wildly in her chest. For a moment, she couldn’t discern reality from the dream, the vivid images of the rain-soaked alley and Yoongi’s menacing presence still haunting her.

It was a memory that was hidden in the back of her mind to resurface when she’s the most vulnerable. It had happened a few times already, her mind showing her each time she attempted to escape the scarred leader.

She took a deep breath and listened to the mix of crackling fireplace and raindrops outside. His eyes were on her petite physique, his hands holding a book he was reading while she took a well deserved afternoon nap. He put down his reading glasses and ran a hand through his hair, closing the book and turning her attention to her.

“Which one was it this time?”

She turned to see him sitting beside her, his eyes filled with worry. The contrast between the Yoongi in her nightmare and the one before her now was stark. Gone was the cold, calculating predator; in his place was a man who genuinely cared for her well-being. He did change a little. Or maybe he was like that before but his selfishness didn’t allow him to show her his bright side.

Her legs moved to his lap when she was asleep, and he gently rubbed circles into her ankles, his touch soothing for once.

“Will you keep me safe?”

Yoongi's expression softened further, his gaze unwavering as he looked into her eyes. He knows that there were moments that haunt her till now. Moments he let happen with his cockiness.

“Always,” he replied, his voice steady and filled with conviction. “I’ll keep you safe, no matter what.”

“I just... I don’t want to be afraid anymore,” she admitted, her voice breaking slightly.

“Just rest, Dove,” Yoongi murmured, his voice a soothing balm to her frayed nerves. “I’ll be right here.”

After a few silent minutes, Y/N broke the calm silence.

“Can we play the piano?”

He hesitated for a moment, then nodded. Together, they moved to the old piano in the corner of the room. As they sat side by side, their fingers tentatively began to touch the keys. Each note was a delicate thread, weaving together a tapestry of their unspoken emotions. The music became their secret language, a way to say everything they couldn’t put into words.

Every time she did not feel like speaking herself, they played. Until she felt better. Yoongi played with a gentle intensity, his fingers dancing over the keys with practised ease.

He was a better player, so she thought. Afterall, he had had more life to practice.

The medication made her more open to him. Sooner or later she’ll have to get off of it before it will become her only source of happiness. There were days it made her sleep well, drink, eat, breathe and live like the person she used to be. And there were days she sat in front of her vanity mirror knowing this effect is only temporary.

She cannot afford to get off of them while she’s remaining by his side. Her being would not take it and the prospect of freedom would be scarce. It blunted negative emotions which worked in the scarred boy’s favour.

It was working, but it was a question of time when she’ll develop tolerance and they won’t work anymore. That’s why Seokjin is desperately trying to convince Yoongi that he’ll have a way to help her. Permanently.

Yoongi knows that it would be just another mistake he would have to write under his name.

“I’ll always keep you safe,” he whispered again, his words a promise and a plea. And in the quiet aftermath of their duet, she almost believed him.

In that fleeting moment, she wasn’t running, and Yoongi wasn’t chasing. They were simply two souls, lost in the music, trying to find their way back to each other. One more than the other.

His hand moved to cover hers on the keys, their eyes meeting in the stillness that followed. The world outside ceased to exist, the rain and the fire a distant backdrop to the intensity of their shared gaze.

Slowly, almost imperceptibly, Yoongi leaned in, his breath mingling with hers. Her heart raced, not with fear, but with a different kind of anticipation.

Their faces were inches apart, the unspoken words hanging in the air between them. His eyes flickered to her lips, then back to her eyes, seeking permission, seeking assurance. Y/N’s breath hitched, her mind a whirlwind of emotions.

“Unnie?!” Xiaoli's voice rang out, bright and oblivious. “We need to talk about—”

“Can you keep me safe from my own sister?” She scoffed playfully. His chuckle bounced on her lips as his lips still hovered just a breath away from hers, the paper door swung open with a sudden, sharp creak.

Taehyung stepped in behind her, his eyes widening as he took in the scene. "Oh. We’re... interrupting, aren’t we?”

Yoongi pulled back slightly, his expression darkening as he turned to face them. Y/N felt the moment slipping away, the fragile connection disrupted.

“What is it?” Yoongi asked, his voice strained with barely concealed irritation.

“You invited us to have dinner, Hyung.” Taehyung reminded him, his tone a mix of apology and amusement.

Xiaoli’s eyes darted between Yoongi and Y/N, realisation dawning on her face. “Oh... we’re really sorry. I didn’t mean to barge in, Kkangpae Min.”

She apologised, still not her but always to him and him only. Y/N forced herself to smile. The woman that her sister became is not the same one she grew up with.

“There was nothing to interrupt, don’t worry,” she waved it off and Yoongi sighed, the tension in his shoulders evident.

The fleeting moment of intimacy with Y/N hung heavily in his mind. Before, during and after the dinner. He was extravagantly close to feel her lips on his again, just for the moment to be swept away.

Dinner was a mix of awkward silences and forced conversation. Xiaoli and Taehyung tried to lighten the mood, but the air was thick with unspoken words.

Yoongi, for his part, seemed distant, his mind clearly elsewhere. Every so often, his gaze would meet hers across the table.

“Will you come next week?” Xiaoli asked, sipping her wine.

Y/N, momentarily distracted from her thoughts, looked up.

“Next week?”

Y/N glanced at Yoongi, who was already looking at her. She hesitated, unsure of committing to anything he did not allow earlier.

“Yes, Y/N promised Bo Cheng to teach him how to ride a horse, and I have some business to attend to.” Yoongi cleared his throat, breaking the silence.

“I could teach him,” Said Xiaoli, a bit jealous that their brother wanted Y/N to teach him when she was right there in the hotel.

Once Xiaoli and Taehyung will be with each other for eternity, the family of three then, will take their leave back to China.

The Triad leader attended his own business trips while his wife and children stayed with the “allying” clan.

He doesn’t know. None of them knows what Y/N did to herself, apart from Xiaoli, who herself doesn’t know every detail. They spreaded white lies to cover this “lapse of senses”. A misstep. Y/N hides the fading scar carefully to avoid any explanation. She wished to not tell them, and the kkangpae did not object to her wishes anymore. Whatever she wants, she gets. Usually, most of the time if she’s reasonable and clever about it.

The past months painstakingly helped them to get better. Or so Yoongi thought. Her priority was never to be his good wife, her priority is him thinking she will be his good obedient loving wife and when he won’t expect her to seek freedom anymore — she’ll disappear.

“I don't know about that, honey. You remember that nasty fall you took last year?” Her husband-to-be said nonchalantly. Y/N furrowed her brows in confusion.

“Fall?—“ she asked, doubting his words.

“What are you talking about?” Xiaoli herself was surprised at his words. She did not recall any falls. Y/N knew Xiaoli isn’t the best rider, but she was decent enough to hold any situation that would make her fall from the horse under control.

“I don’t remember that,—” she said, taking another long sip from her glass.

“You’d certainly remember falling from a horse. Why don’t I know about this, Yoongi?” Said Y/N turning herself to the quiet man.

“I was having a hard time keeping you here as you loved to go for a run back then. It must have slipped my mind—“

“My sister falling from a horse slipped your mind?”

“He did not know Y/N, until a lot later. Right, Hyung?” Taehyung smiled sweetly at her, defending his Kkangpae. As always. Y/N clicked her tongue and gifted Yoongi with a penetrating stare creating another layer of tension in the room.

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He cleared his throat, attempting to gather his thoughts. The last thing he wants is to mess up their relationship again.

“You’re right, love. I should have told you once I got to know that,” Yoongi admitting guilt is a new trait he acquired these past months.

“How did she fall?” Y/N aimed her question at Taehyung as her sister clearly doesn't remember it.

“It wasn’t probably that bad if I don’t remember it, Unnie. Don’t worry about it anymore—“ the younger female answered before her fiance had the chance to do so.

Y/N sighed loudly but the hand under the table that was gripping her younger sister’s thigh was not seen by her eyes.

It was hard to keep focus, especially with Seokjin constantly needing her assistance at work. His stern demeanour and meticulous nature kept her on her toes, but she appreciated the distraction. She knew why she was at his beck and call. Yoongi demanded so. Under any circumstances she ought to be next to Seokjin.

The ambulance in the sanctuary was significantly smaller than the big sanitorium in the town, but there was still some work to do here too.

“What’s on your mind?” he asked, leaning back in his chair and studying her intently.

“The usual,” she murmured, filling today’s report. Seokjin watched her for a moment, then brought the courage to ask.

“Have you been intimate?” Y/N dropped the pen at once and with wide eyes. She stared at him. The question came out of nowhere nor was it called for.

“Wh-what do you mean intimate?”

“Exactly what I said,” he replied calmly, not breaking eye contact.

“Have you been intimate with Yoongi again?”

“I don’t see how this is your business, Seokjin.” She felt her face flush with heat, a mix of embarrassment and anger.

“I’m not trying to pry. I’m your friend, but I’m also your doctor, sweetling—,” he said softly.

“Your health and well-being are my concern,” Seokjin explained. “And you know that if something’s affecting you emotionally or physically, it could impact your health.”

Bullcrap, he is in fact prying.

She was silent for a minute, trying to comprehend how he is taking care of her being this late. If she wouldn’t attempt to kill herself, these concerns wouldn’t be as great. But Y/N cannot afford to break havoc. She can’t go on rampage as she wants every single person here to think that she is moving towards being a good obedient wife of the Kkangpae. Even though she wants to scream to each and one of their faces about how much they failed her. How much they hurt her. Yet, patience is the key. Breathe, sleep, eat, endure.

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, then decided to change the topic.

“What about your wife?” Seokjin’s eyes flickered with surprise before he masked it with a neutral expression. Y/N barely knew the woman. Matter of fact she has seen her maybe three times since the wedding.

“Very much pregnant,” he said, his voice a mix of pride and weariness.

“Oh,” Y/N replied, taken aback. “I didn’t know. Congratulations, I guess.” Here comes another thing that Yoongi managed to keep from her.

“Thank you, my dear,” Seokjin said, a small smile touching his lips. “It’s been… an interesting journey, to say the least.”

“I can imagine,—” Y/N said, sensing there was more beneath the surface.

“Can you imagine yourself on that journey?” Seokjin interrupted, his gaze searching her face.

She pretended that the question took her by surprise, looking down at her hands to not give herself away.

“I don’t know,” she admitted softly. He is testing her. “It’s hard to think about that kind of future with everything that’s going on.”

Seokjin nodded, his expression thoughtful. “It’s understandable. But it’s something to consider. Maybe a baby would help you to shush your demons away.”

Y/N’s heart raced at the suggestion, and she forced herself to maintain her composure. “I… I don’t think a baby is the answer, Seokjin. There’s so much I need to sort out first.”

“Sometimes, having something to focus on, something to live for, can make all the difference,” Seokjin said gently.

She nodded, still feeling uneasy about the direction of the conversation. Opting not to give more than she would want to by not answering his remark and going back to finish the report.

“Just know that you have options. And that you don’t have to go through any of this alone.”

“Thanks,” she replied, offering a small smile. “I’ll keep that in mind.” Of course she won’t.

Y/N entered the dimly lit room where Yoongi was sitting, his face illuminated by the soft glow of a lamp. He looked up as she closed the door behind her, his expression softened once he looked up from the papers. The office in the sanctuary remained the same apart from the fact that now the young Kkangpae occupies it far more often than before.

He took his glasses off and pushed himself away from the desk creating a space for her to come and stand in front of him, leaning against the massive wooden desk. Her hands felt the warmth of the wood that had been heated by the lamp, reflecting the same heat that radiated between them.

“Did you ask Seokjin to put thoughts into my head?” she asked, her voice steady despite the turmoil inside her.

Yoongi sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I didn’t ask him to, but I knew he would at some point try to give you some wisdom. What did he say?”

“That a baby would be the right treatment for me,” she replied, her voice tight with frustration.

Yoongi’s eyes widened slightly, then he closed them and exhaled deeply.

“I’m sorry, Dove—“

“Do you think that too?” she asked, searching his face. “That a baby would magically fix everything?”

Yoongi shook his head, stepping up from his chair and closer to her. “No, I don’t. A baby isn’t a solution to our problems—“ she didn’t believe one word that was coming out of this mouth. He wouldn’t break his knuckles this hard if he didn’t want the baby that Y/N took care of not happening anytime soon. Her system was full of herbal remedies. And now that she knows, the herbs flowing in her system are working, she can use that to her advantage.

“But that would make you happy right?” She countered, seeing through him. Softening her mimics to appeal to him.

“Well, yeah, I want a family with you someday—“

“Someday? The bandages on your knuckles says that you’re pretty eager to have it now—” she scoffed and murmured under her nose.

Yoongi’s eyes for once reflected something she couldn’t quite recognise. There was a mix of desperation and longing that flickered there. His hand reached out, trembling slightly, and cupped her cheek gently.

“Dove, I want us to be happy, truly happy. But I know bringing a child into this world won’t erase your pain or solve our problems. We need to fix ourselves first—” His thumb brushed her cheek tenderly.

“I’m sorry for being selfish, my love,” she felt a tear escape her eye, rolling down to where his thumb could catch it. She closed her eyes for a moment, leaning into his touch because that’s what always softens his edges.

After months, she has learnt what strings to pull to make him move just the way she wants to. Yet, Y/N knows that he isn’t that stupid to believe she suddenly wants to live with him happily ever after.

“I can pour us some wine. We can play the piano after dinner, hm?” He could feel her vulnerability, her heart laid bare before him. Or so he thought as she wanted him to think that. His hand continued to caress her cheek softly, his touch gentle yet laden with unspoken longing she sensed each time he attempted to get closer to her.

She nodded, a small pretentious smile playing on her lips as she stepped closer to him. The tension between them lingered.

He pulled her closer, his lips brushing against her forehead. “We will be good. We just need time with each other.”

He sat first, patting the space beside him, inviting her to join. Her fingers brushed the keys, eliciting a soft, mournful note. A melody that echoed in her mind far too often. An anthem for hurting. Weeping symphony, tears of sorrow.

He became far too respectful towards her boundaries which essentially was ruining all of her plans. Her fingers pressed the keys with delicate touch even when she wanted to smash them rock hard.

“Why this song?” She let the question hang in the air for a moment, her fingers poised above the keys as if weighing his words.

“Do you know what they interpret it as?” She finally said, her voice soft, barely audible above the lingering notes. Her eyes, once masked with a facade of calm, now revealed a flicker of the anguish she carried.

“Tell me,” he flipped the page of the notes book for her to continue the song.

“It’s a tale of unspoken grief, of wounds too deep to heal and shadows that never leave.”

He felt a shiver run down his spine as she said that. Part of him understood what message she was trying to leave and part of him wished he’s wrong.

“I view it as love lost and dreams shattered. They say it’s a lament for those who wander through life carrying burdens no one else can see.”

He carefully listened to all her words, all the notes she played, all her feelings she shared. Her fingers moved over the keys, each note a whisper of sorrow.

“The scars I carry inside,—“ His hand reached out to touch hers, a gesture of comfort. Stopping her from playing more.

“Let me help you carry that weight—“

“You created it in the first place.”

His eyes widened, a mixture of guilt and realisation flooding his expression. She pulled her hand away.

“The scars I carry, the emptiness I feel, they all trace back to you.”

His mind raced to comprehend the depth of her pain, trying to understand her intentions. It’s not like he ever expected her to say it out loud.

“You created emptiness in me Yoongi—“

He felt his heart clench with guilt and regret. “I’m so sorry,” he said, his voice cracking. It was nothing new. She heard his apologies but she was yet to accept them

She turned back to the piano, her fingers resting on the keys but not playing. “Intentions don’t change the past,” she said softly. “The pain remains—“

“But the future can learn from mistakes.”

“I will. I’ll learn—“ He began before she interrupted him.

“You need to fill the space now.” His eyes lit up listening to her words. In his mind, this was it. The holy grail. In her mind, she was wrapping him around her finger before she would bounce away like a pebble on the pond.

“Heal me if you must.”

These were her last words before the distance between them shrank, the intensity of their emotions drawing them closer. He leaned in, his heart pounding in his chest that she could almost hear it but Y/N didn’t pull away.

Their lips met in a soft, tentative kiss, a delicate brush that spoke of apology, of yearning, and of promises yet to be fulfilled. Her heart cried and the song remained echoing in her mind.

As they pulled back slightly, their foreheads resting against each other, Yoongi felt a warmth spread through him, chasing away the cold shadows of regret. She looked at him, her eyes shining with unshed tears. His thoughts were swirling with one thing only — this was the real beginning of them. And it was the beginning.

The beginning of the end.

I N T E R L O G U E

The walls were lined with bookshelves, each shelf overflowing with dusty tomes and old papers. A large, ornate desk stood in the centre, its surface cluttered with stacks of documents.

Seokjin rarely sends her to this room as they also rarely stay in the hanok the sanctuary has for medical assistance to those who live here.

She approached slowly, her fingers brushing over the worn leather of a chair before settling on a stack of yellowed files that he asked to bring. It was then when her eyes caught the opened crimson red files that laid flat open on the desk. The ones that the doctor forgot to take with him the other time he had to run and tend to the lady of the house in the middle of the night. They stayed there, laid open, for several weeks. Touched by a thin layer of dust on top of it.

Kim Seokjin is renowned in his field of practice. Yet, this was going to be his great mistake. Inside, there were detailed medical records, notes written in a precise, almost mechanical hand. The words on the pages made her stomach churn—phrases like “prefrontal lobotomy,” “behavioural correction,” and “psychosurgical intervention” leapt out at her. She read on, horrified by the cold, clinical descriptions of procedures that seemed more like torture than treatment.

Her hand flew to her mouth to not let the wailing cry away.

Trembling, she pushed the file aside and reached for the next one. Not bearing what they’ve done to her sister. Y/N’s hands shook as she read through the files, each word a dagger to her heart. The clinical detachment with which the procedures were described made her feel sick. These were not just medical records—they were accounts of inhuman experiments carried out in the name of science, or more so — control.

The name on this file was all too familiar, it was Jin’s wife. He must have done it before the wedding as she seemed far too calm. Her heart pounded in her chest as she opened it, fearing what she might find. The contents were similar—detailed accounts of medical procedures, records of a lobotomy performed in a desperate attempt to “cure” her of what the notes described as “hysteria” and “unmanageable behaviour.”

Y/N felt a wave of nausea wash over her. She stumbled back from the desk, her mind reeling from the revelations. The room seemed to close in around her, the shadows deepening as the weight of what she had discovered settled on her shoulders.

The name on the empty file under those made her anxious, hysteric even more as the tag had Min Y/N written on it.

She wiped her tears but they couldn't stop falling.

“Y/N?”

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.

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©pennyellee. please do not repost

Love you all!! ♥

Don't be a silent reader, comment, re-blog, heart, asks are more than welcome ♥

keep in mind - I'm not an expert on chinese, korean and japanese culture, but I tried to research everything realistic I wanted to add to the story. Nonetheless, take it as a fiction. Nor in this case, I'm a medical professional.

let's be friends chummers 🫧♡ ︎

lots of love, p.

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[jupiter-letters]

Dating Bruce Wayne would include:

Fem! or GN! Reader TW: None

A/N: I have a lot of thoughts about Bruce as you can see, he's a complicated guy. I wouldn't say he's super romantic like the other guys I've written, he's like a slow burn kinda guy. I can see why people like him but I'm still on the fence if I'd date him fr fr.

I won't sugarcoat it, it'll be a rocky road dating Bruce but it's not impossible. Unlike Clark, Batman is who he is and Bruce Wayne is what he can do. The mission always comes first, so him taking time to dedicate to you is special. It's a lot protecting the city and being the backbone of the league.

He is consistently booked and busy, nobody can do what he does so he always has do things himself. It can be difficult for him to ask for help or just allow people to do things for him. In and out of the costume he's got a lot of walls up. He may seem cold on the surface but he feels very deeply. The death of his parents really stunted him emotionally so it will take some time to soften him up.

In terms of a partner ideally he'd need someone with some softness to file down those hard edges he has. Even if his partner isn't soft he provide that comfort and warmth in his own way over time. He's spent most of his life keeping people at an telephone pole's length away(except Alfred of course).

Physical touch with a partner will feel foreign, all the batfam like to hug him and stuff but their the ones intiating most of the time. That will also be the case for you, you'd have to hug him first if you want to touch him. The longer your relationship goes you'll be able to tell when he wants to be hugged or kissed just from the lingering looks he gives you. The touches he does give you are long gentle caresses, he loves stroking your cheek with his thumb. Sometimes after a difficult patrol he'll just hold you in his arms and press his forehead against yours.

Staring!! He'll always be staring at you whether you're looking or not. He's kind of like a cat, blinking at you real slow is his way of blowing kisses. The way he looks at you is exclusive to you only! It's so much softer and adoring than his usual scary pokerface staring. In a JL meeting, before everyone knows you're dating they might think he can't stand you. Inside though he's like 💓💗💖💘💝.

You can translate his grumbles and sounds. Bruce isn't the most talkative guy and he's in his head alot. So when he's busy or distracted and you ask him a question you understand his tone. Barry: "So is Bruce gonna be at the Flash parade tomorrow?" Bruce: "Hmm..." You: "Yeah he'll be there!".

The rest of the batfamily notice the effect you've had on him, you managed to crack the coldness he's built over the years. In addition to already liking you they're grateful for you being there for him. They'll even tease you both when you have dinner together. Fake vomitting when Bruce kisses you on the cheek, calling you Mom/Dad/Parent.

If you are another superhero(yes he does have a contingency plan for you) You may butt heads from time to time he may come off as underestimating you but he just wants to protect you by getting ahead of the problem. When he knows your abilities/skills maybe exactly what he needs in a certain situation, he’ll hit you up. He does his best not to hover when you go on solo missions, he will check in over comms at the most random times though. When you do go on missions together, you never notice but he'll stay very close to you.

You've got maximum scary dog privilege when you two go out together but when he goes out as Bruce Wayne he's still gotta put up that raunchy facade. He won't get too frisky with you but he will take the opportunity to flirt a little. He'll whisper little compliments and pick-up lines in your ear when you slow dance together.

Thanks for reading! Lemme know what you think. Please like or reblog if you like my stuff.

[casually-eat-my-soul]

Stiles Stilinski and Claudia Stilinski are such an interesting dynamic. Only one person commented on the fact that they wanted to hear about this, but that’s permission to me, so yall have to suffer with me. It’s been awhile since I’ve watched teen wolf so my take may be off, please no hate but I’m open to discussion.

Claudia Stilinski is such an interesting character to me. We know virtually nothing about except how she, especially her death and the way she died affects the Stiles and the sheriff.

Stiles watched her die, the sheriff didn’t. Stiles stayed beside her, the sheriff was at work. Both undergo guilt because of this. This is the exact moment when stiles has to grow up - it fundamentally changed who stiles is as a character, it also defines him in certain moment. To me both characters try and keep their connect to Claudia in anyway they can. This is made apparent with the jeep. That’s Claudia car, stiles refuses to leave it even though it’s unreliable. This could reflect stiles relationship or his idea of his relationship with his mother is unreliable. The sheriff connects to his wife via stiles. Stiles real name - his mother gave it to him, he had the nickname mischief but changed to stiles, I wonder why?? Maybe after his mother died. But they can’t in the end, they can’t let go over her but they can’t hold onto her.

Stiles has a lot of trauma response from this moment. He pretends he’s fine even when he’s not, this is a learned response. He obsessively takes care of his dad, wanting to hold onto the last parent in his life. It also feels like a way to hold onto his mother via taking care of his dad. Literally every way that that stiles acts after his mom’s death is becuase of her death. The way that he loves people after his moms death is an effect of the last months of his mothers life and her death. He cares to a point of obsession (one of the reason I ship sterek, I think they’d balance each other out or just be able to understand each other darkness)

His mother’s disease would have taken precedents over everything else. And even after she died, his fathers feeling would have been more important. The Stilinski’s don’t talk about their feelings, they don’t talk about the times when they hurt each other. It’s almost like they can’t, that there is a disconnect. To me this says that Claudia was the emotional support for both of the Stilinski’s men. Don’t get me wrong, this is not hate on the sheriff. He does try to connect to stiles - they do talk each other about other things in their lives.

In a way I can understand Stiles. My father is a cop. The change in shifts and odd hours would mean that sometimes I wouldn’t see my father for days. Add on the fact that He is the Sheriff, whom the show makes it clear take extra shifts - stiles would be alone a lot. To me this means that his mother was his main source of paternal affection. This was further cemented for me when stiles tells his father “mom would have believed me”

When she dies it almost makes it seem that his care was transferred onto Scott. In most cases this would make Melissa a surrogate mother but in the show it doesn’t feel like that to me. Stiles is extremely independent, when his dad was away at work he would take care of his mother, even after her assaulting him. This would fundamentally change the way he interacts with adults, parents, specifically mothers. So I don’t see him grasping onto Melissa as a mother figure.

But also the way he interacts with Melissa, on one hand he’s almost her equal. He takes care of Scott almost as much as Melissa herself does. In a way their interactions feel like two parents talking to each other. On the other hand, it is clear that Melissa take care of him like he’s her son. But to me the only time when stiles reacts to her authority is when she’s mad, sometimes not even than. And the one time when he’s been possessed he calls her mom.

But also it’s made clear that the Stilinski’s don’t talk about Claudia - like at all. In the first season when the sheriff is drunk he says “I miss your mother”. The absolute shock on stiles face when he says that is so visceral. Claudia lingers over the household, not in a way that is a happy memory. she haunts it. After she dies stiles takes her place. The whole scene “how can I take care of you if I don’t know everything about you / I’m the dad, your the son” Stiles takes care of his dad obsessively, in a way that upsets the the balance of a child/parent relationship.

This is further made clear with the hints that the sheriff got major drunk after Claudia died. And that he threw himself into work once he got sober. Stiles effectively took over the household, putting him in the roles of his mother. We also see how the sheriff reacts to this because Stiles plays both the role of his wife and his son, not reaching the expectation for either. Stiles can never be his mother and yet he is her carbon copy. He wants to be her but all doesn’t at all. This dichotomy between the idea of stiles and the idea of Claudia means that she will always be present in the home. The first parent you will see in stiles face is Claudia. She haunts the narrative via her ghost but also via Stiles.

Especially in season three with the nogitsune, especially when it tricked everyone into believing that he’s dieing the same way his mother did. This is the final act of stiles becoming Claudia. The ghost of his mother has never been as prevalent but in this moment. You cannot tell me that his didn’t absolutely destroy the Stilinski households for months, even after they figured out that it was just a trick. To me this was one of the worst tricks played on stiles, because besides losing his friend this is what caused the Most devastation to him and his father. When he gets the MRI done this is when we see the change between stiles and the nogitsune. The demon has enough power to take over even for a few seconds because of this.

Being his mom especially in this connection is what devastates stiles the most. The nogitsune was in stiles head, he knows what would hurt him the most and what stiles fears the most.

Idk this is just my opinion and take.

[turretistrying]

I watched a playthrough of mouthwashing and wanted to write something, sorry if it's trash

warnings; Mentions of blood, death, etc. Canon events through the lens of the reader. jimmy. Mentions of Anya's situation, Unwanted touching

Summary; You are the effectively the homebrewed therapist of the Tulpar, you are the safe space of the ship. You experience the events of the game

On the Tulpar crew, you were considered a jack-of-all trades. You helped in any area the ship needed help in, but if your being totally honest thats not what your job entails to you.

Your job is being a safe space. Almost everyone on the ship has some type of issues during the night or problems they can only ruminate on when everyone else is asleep, and so you have decide to help on that front. Your room is the best on the ship, while it's walls and floors are the same as everyone elses room, your bed in the real star of the show. You've long since replaced the standard-issued Pony Express mattress with something softer from Earth, while some of the inspectors of the ship tried to make a stink about it you generally ignored them about it. Anothing thing about your bed is the blankets and pillows, so many of them on one twin sized bed. Originally you only had 3 blankets and 2 pillows when you started to make the bed more comfortable, but as some of the crew came in to sleep you started bringing more each time. Same thing with the pillows.

A year or two ago you started to comfort and therapize members of the crew the best you could but eventually that turned into them coming to your bed. Nothing ever happened mind you, just lying on the same bed, sometimes cuddling if the mental situation is bad enough. Anya, Daisuke, and Curly were the main crew members you helped, Swansea didn't feel comfortable being in your room so you mainly talked to him at 'night'.

The only person you were wary about was Jimmy.

Ever since you met him, he's become increasing strange to you. Something has felt off. But.. because you pride yourself on not judging anyone on the ship, you allowed him in your room for comfort. Even though it made you feel like your skin was going to be peeled off, like static was injected into your veins. It made your comforting and safe space feel decidedly not safe anymore for you. Any time he spent time within your room it made every single alarm in your head go off, making you wish you could lock the door only to keep HIM out. Especially when he decides he 'needs' cuddles, him touching you and nuzzling into your body makes you sick, it makes you feel like he's violating you. Sometimes he tries to get in when you're already helping someone else out and you revel in the fact you're able to reject him and KEEP HIM OUT. On the times he tries to get in and you're with Anya, you notice how she tenses up at his voice. She almost starts shivering (from fear? from terror? what did he do to her?) no matter how many blankets are piled onto her pale body.

She's the person who comes to you the most often and you have a feeling you know why. Even though she doesn't say anything, you're fairly sure Jimmy has hurt her in some fashiom, just from how her demeanor changes as soon as he enters a room and talks to her. She shrinks in on herself. (what did he dO TO HER?!)

Curly is almost as frequent as Anya but you can tell he probably shouldn't visit you. He's The Captain after all, he shouldn't need help and should feel the way he does. You feel bad for him most times, and while he may be friends with the monsterJimmy, him being in your room doesn't make you uncomfortable. He confides in you about his troubles and how he doesn't know what to do next, he doesn't want to be what he is forever. You understand him, maybe not at the level he feels it but you get it. You don't want to be stuck as a space therapist the rest of your life, you want to be a notable creative, or something. You're still working that dream out.

~~

It's a few months into the shipment, and Curly just dropped the news that Pony Express was going under and while all 5 of your were going to be let go from the company with no additional help, Curly would be able to get opportunities. You don't resent him honestly, knowing what he's thinking about after most days, you're just. contemplative. While yes job hunting is going to be a bit of bitch, you have savings and a good fall back if all else fails. You also understand the feelings of everyone else, their sadness, anger, confusion.

While you're cleaning a hallway waiting for someone to need you for something else you see Jimmy rush past you. He seems... startled and angry, from what you tell of a brief glance at his side profile. You shrug and go back to cleaning, you don't care about Jimmy anymore frankly. Curly comes up behind you and asks about him and you point him towards the cockpit. He leaves and you once again get back to work... Until the ship starts shaking and you hear yelling from down the hall. Before you can really process anything the whole ship jerks and you're thrown to the floor.

~~

The ship crashed. Foam covers all areas of the ship, your room was one of the lucky few that was spared from the crash. Other's weren't so lucky.

Curly is covered head to.. knee in bandages, only one eye still intact. You don't quite like going into the medical room anymore. It smells of burning and rotting flesh, mixed with the chalky smell of painkillers. But you visit at night and simply sit there with Curly, offering him a blanket. He never wants it, you assume it's because of how his 'skin' is still exposed even with the bandages and it could cause worse pain if it got stuck to it. Some nights he tries to talk, others he doesn't.

Daisuke and Anya are now the most frequent visitors of your room. They both cry, Anya more so. You don't know what to do now, you're almost.. numb to it all. Jimmy still comes by but you're grateful for Daisuke and Anya needing you, it keeps him away. But on nights no one comes by, HE does. Somehow it's gotten worse, he cuddles far too close for your liking and mumbles things into your collarbones you can't make them out but his mouth on your skin makes you want to cry. It makes everything so. much. worse.

~~

It's been months since the ship crashed and you don't leave your room anymore. You just. Can't. Everything is too much and not enough. You hope you die in your sleep.

~~

You hear commotion outside, it sounds like Daisuke and Jimmy. You slowly peel yourself off the bed, and take off the 6 blankets. Uncovered feet touch the metal flooring, you don't flinch. You stand up on shaky legs and make your way to the hallway. They're running towards Utility so you make your way over to the living room, to see whats happened since you stashed yourself away. The tv is shattered and it seems like everyone made their beds out here, mouthwash litters the floor. You turn to medical and hope to see Anya.

....

The door is locked. You give a soft knock.

"Anya..? are you-" you quickly cough, not used to talking anymore "are you okay?"

You receive silence.

"... Yeah, I'm sorry that was a stupid question. You're not okay, you haven't been for months, especially with... him here and yelling at you nearly every day." You rest your forehead on the door,

Silence.

"I'm sorry Anya."

~~

Daisuke is dead. Jimmy tried getting him into the damaged vent and it impalied the poor kid. You almost cry, you know so much about him, his hopes and dreams. But you decide to stay quiet and observe, Jimmy isn't aware you've finally left your room. Swansea looks downright murderous, after mercy killing Daisuke by cutting right into his head with the fire axe, he stares at Jimmy in a way you once wished you could. If looks could kill.

Swansea gets up and chases after him.

You hope he gets the monster.

~~

Swansea is dead too. Jimmy somehow got a gun and killed him. You watch from the shadows as he sets up the dead bodies of people you knew so, so well. A mockery of a party you were so excited for so long ago.

He brings out Curly and sets him on the table, he grabs the knife and cuts into Curly's thigh as if it's cake. You want to vomit. You want to cry. You want to do so many things but. You simple stand there.

You want to kill Jimmy. He's killed your friends, so you want to avenge them. None of them deserved this, none of them.

You go look for that axe.

~~

You found it in utility, it has weight but you can carry it well enough to take the swing at the man that's made this into hell itself. You hear footsteps coming towards the room so you make your way behind some foam. You wait.

And wait.

and wait.

You take action and run right towards Jimmy as he's about to kill himself.

He deserves pain, he doesn't deserve the easy way out.

You swing right into his arm holding the gun and it comes clean off.

Blood comes out from it in waves.

He needs to take responsibility.

You swing once more at his other arm, another clean cut.

needs to take responsibility.

Another swing.

tAKE RESPONSIBILITY.

One last swing.

RESPONSIBILITY.

he's not dead, but he looks just. like. curly.

you pick him up, his blood gushing onto you and place him in another cyropod.

he was have to face his actions, whenever that may be.

whenever someone finds him and curly.

~~

you walk to your room, one last time.

blood trailing behind you as you slowly walk.

your time is up and you'll get to end it the way you wanted to.

in bed.

you pull all your blankets onto yourself and close your eyes,

one.

last.

time.

[ghostyeyestohide]

What If My Heart Beats Faster?

(I Put A Spell On You Finale)

Pairing: Terrance (Foe) x Valerie (Plus Size Black Fem OC) x Junior (Foe) x Hen (Foe)

Warnings: angst, fluff, blowjob/handjob, dirty talk, memories of sexual contact, happy ending, panic attack, cussing, tears, cause of death revealed, fear, emotions, faux death (side effects of erasing memories), planning pregnancy, mentioning of blood, and Non-Canon/Canon.

Summary: The day Hen and A.I. Junior didn’t want to come has finally arrived. And this greatly affects Valerie and Terrance, who’s life changes after this.

Parts: Part One • Part Two • Part Three

A/N: This is really the end of this. Can’t believe it. But, I’m also happy cause I got the Macrinus and Hanno/Lucius one shots otw. I want to thank everyone who loved this as not only did I want to at least be one of the few to write about Foe Terrance, but to see how I would’ve written Foe if I was apart of the writers room. And I do apologize if I got some details wrong. I haven’t watched it in a year. Enjoy and send ya around! 🫶🏽🫶🏽

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do not copy or repost my work. I do not authorize it.

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Valerie is in the shower, washing her body as the memories from two nights ago plays in her mind.

Terrance eating her out, her blowing Junior, watching them fuck and kiss, the dance with Hen, the moans, her making out with the men all played as she begins touching herself, gently massaging her breasts before rubbing her clit.

“Fuck….” she whispers, laying against the tiled shower wall as the hot water and steam hits her body.

She begins rubbing faster as the memory of her getting double penetrated plays, her breathing becoming stiffly. As Terrance releases inside her, she also meets hers, feeling her body tense up and shaking. After relaxing from her high, she rinses her body again before getting out of the shower, wrapping herself in a bath robe.

Walking into the bedroom, she sees a bouquet of roses and three different sizes white boxes lying on the bed. Thinking he must’ve slipped in while she was in the shower, she picks up the envelope attached to one of them. She opens it and pulls out a note that read:

“Hey, baby. I know you were very lonely last night with me not being next to you. So was I. And no, I didn’t do what you think I did. I heard your order subconsciously. Even if you didn’t say it. So, I went into the city and bought you your favorite flowers and some things I want to see you wear tonight. Almost like you’re my personal prize. For now, I have to check on him, Hen, and when real Junior is on his way. See you soon, Val.

- T. “

She smiled, kissing the note before putting it back carefully and tossing it on the bed. Grabbing the first box, a small one, she removes the top, revealing itself as a matching dangling diamond earrings and diamond choker jewelry set that has the same exact design of her engagement ring. She gasps, gently picking up the items.

“Oh wow. He finally found it.” she said, remembering she mentioned wanting the set to him a long time ago, but had no luck since it sold out quickly after restocks.

After placing the set on her vanity table, she grabs the medium box, taking a seat on the bed. Placing it on her lap, she removes the top, revealing a pair of brown pumps, lined with a forrest green patch on the back. She traces it before placing her foot in it, making sure it fits, which it does.

She takes it off and pulls the final box, believing it’s the outfit. Removing the top, she sees a forrest green fabric. Pulling out, it reveals itself as a long dress with a reveal cleavage line that has a seen-through bottom that shows where the inner dress stops at, which is above the knee.

“Oh my……” is all she could get out, thinking if this is too revealing or he really does want me to feel like a prize.

Standing up, she walks to the mirror and presses the dress to her body, seeing his vision. Smiling, she hangs it up on a rack and begins getting ready for Junior’s homecoming.

🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲

A few hours go by and Valerie, now wearing a satin robe and has hair rollers in her head, walks into the kitchen, looking to get something to drink.

As she takes out a bottle of water, she hears a hard knock on the front door, making her jump a bit. Cautiously, she walks to the door, pulling the curtain back, and peering out the window. She sees Junior, all tensed and pacing, on the porch.

“What is he doing here?!” she whispers as she opens the door.

“I’m sorry for showing up, but I can’t go back there, Val.” he says, walking past her.

She nods in an aggravated manner, closing the door behind her. She turns to look him, but he’s not behind her. Looking around, she searches the house for a few minutes before finding him in the kitchen, laying against the island.

“Junior….you can’t be here.”

“You have to listen me! This is all a setup!“ he says in a irate voice.

“For what?”

“Him! He’s the one who’s gonna be here while I’m gone.”

“….what?” she said with a confused expression.

“Its him. He’s gonna replace me. I thought I would let you know so when he leaves you, it’s not the first time you’re finding out.”

Staring at him with a baffled look on her face, she breaks out laughing, making him look at her in a confused way.

“It’s not funny…..he’s really playing the both us.” he says as her laughing grows louder.

Finally, she catches her breath, grabbing the water bottle and taking a few sips before clearing her throat.

“You’re funny, but seriously. You need to leave. He’ll be pissed if he comes home and finds you.” she said, gently pushing him.

“What?! Valerie, I’m being serious! I have proof that he is going to be my replacement!”

“Junior, if that was the case, you would be deceased right now. Me included. Now please go!”

“Why? Don’t you see he’s just dumping you out here so you have nowhere to go?! You come from nothing like you said!”

“I’m not stupid and he’s not throwing 8 years away for Hen!”

“Some people can be deceiving!”

“Yeah? Why don’t you take a look in the mirror for once?” she said, giving up on pushing him.

“What is that suppose to mean?”

She chuckled, stepping into his space.

“…It means you wasn’t like this two nights in that room, drunk off your ass.” she whispers, leaning forward.

Junior steps back, staring at her bizarrely, with her smile dropping.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“You don’t remember? Or is this your way of hiding the fact that you’re gonna miss the both of us, or just him?” she asks, sending him a smirk.

“Why the hell would I be doing that? See, you’re not realizing he’s not suppose to be alone with my wife! You been falling for his lie too long!” he replied, very angry as he pointed at the door.

Looking at him dazedly, she’s thinking why doesn’t he remember what we did. Then it hit her: he erased that memory out of his mind like he said he would. She smiled, covering her mouth to not let out a laugh.

“Oh, now you’re getting it through your fucking head. Your husband’s a fraud!”

“No, he’s not. If anything, he’s a genius who has a great self awareness skill that they’re gonna teach the new OuterMore generation one day. God, I need to fuck him when I see him.” she says, whispering the last part to herself.

“No. What we need to do is go save my wife and we can all escape from thi-“ he says as he grabs her arm.

She snatches it back, slapping him across the face as a reflex. He yells, grabbing his face.

“Are you insane? I’m not in danger and neither is you! All you have to do is go back home to her and everything will go back to normal!” she responds, very irritated.

He looks at her, very enraged. He walks towards her slowly, making her back up until she’s leaned up against the island. He places his hands on each side of the island, blocking her in. She leans back slightly as he leaned forward.

“…fine. You can stay here and continue living under his control like you been doing. But me? I’m getting out of here. And I’m taking her with me. If you get consequences because of my decision, that’s on you.” he whispered, turning to leave.

Scoffing really loud, she follows him, watching him walk.

“He doesn’t control me.”

“Yeah fucking right.” he mumbled, making her even more heated.

“He listens to whatever I want to make sure my needs are met. You know why? Because he actually loves me.”

“Oh please. You two aren’t as different as you believe.”

“We are. You wanna know how? He didn’t start treating bad because he didn’t want to hear my suggestion of visiting downtown or a big city due to not wanting to lose me. He values my feelings, and he actually holds himself accountable if he does anything I don’t like that hurts me. He loves this job, but he would never put it over me, no matter what. He knows how to love. I’m sorry for whatever memories the real Junior put inside you because if this assignment taught me anything: even if you attempted to fix something that’s broken, it can’t be salvaged if it’s damaged a lot, no matter how hard you try.” she said, immediately gasping, regretting what she said.

Junior stopped in his tracks, replaying the last part she uttered. Slowly turning to face her, he looks at her, appalled.

“…what do you mean the real Junior?” he asks.

“….I’m afraid I said too much.” she whispers.

“No, no. What are you trying to say?”

She stares at him, afraid to respond to his question. Then, she feels a sharp pain on her lower hip, making her wince and collapse as she grabs it. Junior runs over, kneeling as she begins to breathe very harshly.

“Where does it hurt?! Maybe I can get you ice and it will calm it do—“

“What I need you to do is shut the hell up right now! It’s just a painful shock that goes….away….after….a few…moments.” she says, her words trailing as the sensation winds down.

Weirded out by what he witnessed, he backs away, fearing what was going to happen next. She checks and moves her hips, seeing if something’s out of place so she can tell Terrance.

Feeling a loose screw sticking out, she gets up and walks carefully to the kitchen, looking around for a small tool box. Checking the drawers, she comes across nothing until she sees a box in the fifth one and takes it out. Opening it, she looks through it to find a screwdriver with the same edge to fit until pulling one. Placing it on the screw, she twists it, feeling pressure each time until it’s back in its socket, no longer out of place. She looks at Junior, who is now standing up, horrified look across his face.

“…..are you….not…t-the real Valerie?” he asks frantically.

“…..no. You’re not the real Junior either. That’s why he—we— came back after two years. The time has ended.”

“What?” he said, looking distraught.

“He’ll be home in less than four hours.” she replied, holding back sadness.

“…does Hen kn—“

“Always did. That’s why she was acting odd with you the whole time. Him questioning, doing measurements, checking your health, following everything you do….just to make sure you’re not slowly realizing you’re the replica.”

He looks around the room, in shocked that everything he thought he knew was all just to trick him.

“Is she coming home too?”

She shakes her head, hoping he’ll stop asking before the pressure of revealing the truth settles in.

“Why not?”

“….she’s dead. Died about five years ago.” she admitted, with shame behind her tone.

“…..did he kill her?”

“No! He would never do…..he would never….do that…” she said, her voice breaking as she begins to cry, slowly falling to her knees.

Junior, feeling empathetic, walks to her, kneeling down. He pulls her into his chest, letting her cry everything out as he rubbed her back. After a few minutes, she lifts her head, slightly wiping her already swollen eyes.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to throw that accusation out like that.”

“You’re fine. But no. He didn’t kill her. He loved her too much to ever do that.” she said, sniffling.

“Then what happened? If you don’t mind me asking.”

Sighing, she gets up, walking into another room. A few minutes later, she returns with a file folder, handing it to him. He hesitantly grabs it, putting it on the floor and opening it as she heads to the kitchen.

Inside, he finds pictures of her, her and Terrance, some baby photos, documents of many things, her birth certificate, and her ‘cause of death’ report next to a group photo, in which he picks up, of her and others, wearing OuterMore gear, with a sign that says: Group 1 - May 1, 2060.

“Is this a mistake? I thought the space program didn’t launch until ‘61?”

“It didn’t. The program launched in 2060, meaning they been doing it for five years, not four. They changed it to cover their tracks.” she says, sipping her water.

“Why?” he asks, looking at her.

“….the first launch was a failure. A tragic one that no one saw coming. Not even Terrance.”

“What was it…”

She sighed, walking back to him to sit in front, sliding the folder between them as she cleared her throat.

“Every thing I told you and Hen about her did actually happen. She is from New York, she doesn’t know her family, she was bouncing back and forth between jobs because of harassment, she did meet Terrance at his post-grad party, they did get married after six months of dating, and she did travel with him for these assignments. He didn’t make none of this up for me to say, these are the memories that were implanted so I can function exactly like her, even though I’m just her replica.”

“Does it feel odd?”

“…at first, it did. But that’s because I had no idea what was going on truly and he was hurting really bad because of what happened, which is what I’m about to tell you.”

She exhales slowly, feeling herself tensing up.

“I’m sorry if I get very emotional. Not only is this…very hard to talk about still….it was never Terrance’s fault. He still believes that til this day, even though he’s been over it, but…it’s a haunting memory to carry on, you know?” she says, trailing off as the sheer weight of it.

Junior nods, gently rubbing her hand. She smiles a little, looking at the group photo.

“The program launched, so they had their first lottery. It was random and included everyone who lived in the United States for more than 15 years. Hence why they went with 15 people. And she got selected, much to her and Terrance’s surprise. She was scared because she didn’t think it was gonna happen this soon. But, since he worked on this program, she trusted a lot with everything, so it’s not like nothing could go wrong.”

She looks at him, seeing the somberness filling up in his face.

“The day came. She was nervous to leave him behind, but he encouraged her a lot to have fun in space, saying he’ll still be here in two years, almost like a promise. They kissed and hugged one last time before she got on the ship. He didn’t know that would be the last time he’ll see her alive.” she says, looking at the death report as the memory of latter played in her head.

“It took off, in which they called a “successful launch from base”. But, a few minutes after takeoff, two of the engines went out, making the ship move but not as fast. None of the crew knew what happened until it was too late. Cause a few moments later, the ship exploded, killing everyone on board.”

“My god…..” he whispered.

“They couldn’t believe it. They made sure everything was fine. Nothing seemed off and they had a test run, which they passed. What did they accidentally overlook? The fuel tanks. The gas from their boosters leaked into those due to the seals being loose, which they still don’t understand how that happened. But, when that gas mixes with the fuel tanks gas…..well, you see the result.”

“Was all this explained to you immediately? When you woke up?”

“….no. When I woke up, I was expecting him to be there, taking in my design, my behavior, the way I moved, the way I was examining my surroundings….”

She looks at their wedding picture, hanging above the fireplace.

“He didn’t come home for three days. I tried to get in contact with him many times, but his calls went to voicemail. I contacted OuterMore, who said they were going through this tragedy each time, but they’ll rely the message. I was angry because I thought I did something wrong and he was purposely avoiding me. When he finally came home, I was ready to argue about it, but….he looked so worn out. He definitely was crying, his eyes all red and a bit swollen, chapped lips, disheveled clothes, moving very slow.”

She looks down, trying to not cry again as that night begins to play in her mind.

“When he saw me, he stopped. I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t. I just….walked up to him, expecting him to back up, but he stood there, kept his gaze on me. I touched his face, gently tracing over his lips, and quietly asked what happened?” as she wipes her eyes.

“I guess the sound of hearing her voice again broke him because he fell to his knees and started crying against my stomach, holding me very tight. I let him stay there, rubbing his head and absorbing his sadness. For the next two months, he was very distant, but was slowly explaining what had happened, what I was, and them trying to figure out a solution to keep us functioning past the two years since they immediately decided that they weren’t taking us back when the deadline came.”

“Did you feel like it was damage control?” he asked, but she shook her head as she looks at him.

“Like I said, it was an accident. They didn’t know the seals were loose. But it was very uncomfortable with different OuterMore employees stopping by every day to examine and update you until the solution came. Of course, that caused a bit of a strain between us.”

“Why?”

“….you don’t really get over losing your spouse. But, you also don’t like when even your own co-workers are making the replica of your spouse uncomfortable with changes and there’s nothing you can do about it. I tried to vouch for them as them doing their job, but he didn’t wanna hear it and just kept ignoring my suggestions. That made me question if I even wanted to be married to him still.”

“But you two got over it.”

“Yeah. After I ran away.”

“…..you ran away?”

“It was a day that none of the workers came. Like a holiday or day off, can’t remember. It was raining too. A lot for Cleveland. He was being a pain in the ass, stressing from work and stuff. So, being a good wife, I was trying to calm him down, made his favorite meal and just give him love. He liked the meal, and was enjoying me kissing him, even rubbing on him but of course, a phone call of OuterMore just had to interrupt this.”

“Damn.” he said, laughing which made her laugh as well.

“Don’t get me wrong. I was sexually deprived and wasn’t about to force him to fuck me. But, I was very annoyed with that and just let him have it as soon as he ended the call. Asking him why are you treating me this way, I know you’re going through it with losing her, but I don’t like feeling the burden of it, and asking him to just love me, not push me away. He berated me, saying I’m doing the best I can to make sure I can move on from this, saying its harder for him because he has to spend the rest of his life with a replica of his dead wife ruining….”

Her voice trailed off as she became very teary eyed, trying to clear her throat.

“When I look back at it, I can tell he didn’t mean it. He was just reacting off anger and instantly regretted it as soon as he was done, noticing I had a terrified look on my face.” she said, sniffling. “He tried to apologize, saying he didn’t mean it, but I didn’t want to hear it. So, I slapped him, said fuck you, and ran out of the house in tears, ignoring his pleas.” she said, watching the memory in her head.

“Not sure how far I ran because I didn’t know the Cleveland area that well. I know I was by a bridge that faced the skyline before it started to rain. So, I went over to this dark area, which was a bad idea cause dogs started to bark and I fell a few times to get away until I was under this big tree. Covered in mud, hair was just ruined, and my dress was ripped. I sat close to it and just cried, thinking he wasn’t going to find me and I was gonna die. I fell asleep a few minutes later, as the rain picked up, which felt very calming in that moment.” she said, smiling a bit.

“When I woke up….I noticed I was in the passenger seat of a moving vehicle, wanting to get out. But as I was about to find something to open the door, I feel a hand touch my thigh. I looked over and I saw him, eyes & nose red and swollen. He had been crying, fearing he had lost me for good. He didn’t say anything, just gently pushing me back into my seat, signaling everything is going to be okay.” she said, tugging at her robe.

“When we got home, he turned on the shower for me. He removed my dress, panties, and shoes before letting me walk into and wash up. He removed his clothes and joined me, helping me wash my hair and scrub my body. I felt like I was being pampered, with him not saying anything, just being active. As we got out, he oiled up my body, just gently massaging it into my skin, which felt nice. Next thing you know, I’m on my back, getting fucked like it was our last time toge—.” as the memory of him fucking her in missionary played.

“Alright, I don’t need to hear that.” said Junior.

“Just saying, Junior! Asking me who pussy it is, saying you’re mine, don’t forget that, worshipping me….he was really sorry. Sure, we went back to our regularly scheduled program, but he started paying attention to me, love me, and console me. And we just grew from there……that’s all I wanted.”

“And you got it.”

“I know that’s what you want, but in your situation, it’s not possible. Which is why you need to go back or risk getting Terrance in trouble.”

“What happens if I refuse? Just go AWOL?”

“They take me away. He loses his job. And I probably will see him again, just everything is gonna to be er…..”

As she’s about to say something, the burning sensation returns, this time, feeling even worse and making her scream as she touches it, falling back and wincing in pain.

“Valerie, are you okay?!” he asks, kneeling next her as he touches her.

“You have to leave!” she yells out, trying to ease the pain.

“But you hurt.”

“I will be fine! It’s not worth getting caught over. Please….just go.” she replies, groaning as the sensation starts spreading.

Hesitate to leave, Junior looks at her one more time before getting up and running out of the door, taking the shortcut back home through their backyard.

As her groans turn into cries, she begins saying little prayer, hoping she’s not shut down as her breathing sped. Finally, after a few minutes of agony, it stopped, with her breathing returning to normal. She begins to cry, scared of what’s going to happen next.

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About 45 minutes later, the front door swings up, with Terrance walking in.

Having an infuriated look across his face, he checks around the house to see if Junior was there, finding no traces before heading upstairs.

After checking the guest room and hallway bathroom, he walks into the bedroom, pushing the door open hard, making Valerie, who was doing her makeup again, jump.

“….was he here?” he asked in a stern voice, examining the room.

“…..no.” she replied, lying through her teeth.

“Why the long pause?”

“You scared me?” she said, looking at him.

“….Ima ask you again. Was Junior here?”

“And I’m telling you again: no.” she replied, looking away from him.

“….okay, okay. I see you wanna do that.” he mumbled, removing his jacket and tossing it on the floor.

Locking eyes with her through the mirror, he closes the door, calmly walks towards her, who resumes her routine, not trying to show she’s hiding the truth.

“….you know I can tell you’re lying, right?” he asked, flashing a small grin.

“How so?” she asked.

“It’s almost….” as he looks at his watch, “three hours before real Junior gets here. And normally around this time, you’re done with your hair and makeup. That’s one thing.”

“I could’ve woken up late.”

“See? That’s how I know you didn’t. You said could’ve.”

She rolls her eyes, breaking his hold as she got up and walked into the bathroom.

“There you go, walk off as soon as I point something out.”

“Did something happen?” she asks, popping her head out the door.

“You’re not usually an asshole when you come back to check on me.” she said, standing in doorway to look at him.

He lets out a harsh sigh before kneeling in front of her, being very close in her space.

“You tell me. Woke up, made breakfast with Hen, which woke him up. We all ate and told him that me and her are going in town for something and we’ll be back in a few hours or less. We actually went to headquarters to make final arrangements as we anticipate his return.”

“If you think submitting to me is suppose to make me ease up on you, it’s not working.” she says, walking past him.

He smirks before bouncing up to his stance, grabbing her by her robe train and turning her away from him, scaring her.

“We come back and he’s nowhere to be found. Didn’t even bother to take his truck. So now, we sent out search parties because it’s a good measurement for the company, right?” he whispers, walking her towards the bed.

“What are you doing….” she asks in an alarmed tone.

He ignores her, turning her around to place her on the edge, gently tracing her face.

“….WRONG!” he yells, slams his hands by her sides, making her jump.

He lets out a broken, haunting chuckle as Valerie feels her face beginning to burn because of his troubling glare at her.

“As I’m waiting for an update on him, Bill comes over. He was very chipper, praising how I did a great job with this one and is thinking about working on that special request I asked him for when I submitted the lab analyst application. Said I got the job. Meaning we’re staying here…”

“…so then what happen?” she whispered, but he shushes her.

“Now here he is, looking crestfallen as if I betrayed him. He pulled me to the side, asking me if everything is alright? and I said yes. Confused in my mind. Then he dropped it: he’s suspending me.” he says, kneeling in front of her, placing his hands on her thighs.

“…..don’t tell me its because of…..”

“Yeah. They’re opening an investigation of violation against policy article 7, title 2: non-sexual contact between the associate and assignment, consensual. Hen told one of them in secret while we were at the headquarters. Said she heard him moaning, my movements, and…..said to look into you as she heard your voice as well.” he said coldly.

Valerie’s heart dropped, hearing the news. She begins breathing erratically as tears begin to fall out of her eyes.

“They’re taking you tomorrow. I don’t know how long you’re going to be gone or if you’re coming back, but that’s his decision.” he says, rubbing her hands.

“They can’t! I refuse!” she yells, getting up as she pushes him off.

She begins pacing the room, trying to catch her breath as Terrance watches her, not used to seeing her react like this.

“You erased everything, right? Why can’t they just use A.I. Junior to dismiss her claim?!”

“They were. Until you got brought up. I’m sorry.”

“I shouldn’t have went into that room. I knew it was a risk, but god…I wasn’t prepared for this.” she says, breaking down as her cries fills the room.

He looks down, sniffling as he’s hurt at seeing her heartbroken like this, not wanting to cry with her.

“It’s not your fault. It’s mine. I should’ve stopped when he kissed me, but…..I gave into my own urges. And now, I have to pay the price…I’ll resign.”

“No! You worked too damn long for this, you can’t just give up!” she yelled, looking at him.

“They’re taking you and I can’t do anything until it’s over. Whether they keep you for good or you come back, I can’t fight it…I’m sorry, Val.”

“Then erase the memories then. You said it only takes 30 minutes, ri—“

“No!” he replied as he stood up, silencing her.

She looks away, wiping her tears as he walks to her, sitting down to face her.

“That machine is dangerous and can have long term effects on you if I hooked you to it. Plus, I don’t have it just laying around to use.”

“Then just turn me off.” she said as she lays on her back, looking at the ceiling.

“Why can’t you have hope that I beat this investigation?”

“Because when they see the way you were fucking him, they’re not giving me back to you. So let’s just get this over with and you can move on with your life.”

He laughs stiffly, fighting hard not to react angrily or break down.

“And what? Just accept the fact that OuterMore took away my wife twice? Keeping all of her DNA and data as if she wasn’t the love of my fucking life?! Is that what you want?”

“You were literally suggesting resignation and now, you’re upset that I’m suggesting a better solution?!”

“I don’t want us to be separated!” he yelled.

“Hell. I don’t want us to end…..it doesn’t feel like I have spent enough time with you.” he looks at her with pity in his eyes.

“Don’t say tha……” she whispers, tears filling up in her eyes.

He crawls next to her, laying down as he gently rubs her stomach, watching her tears fall.

“8 years. Three with her. 5 with you…..”

“….that’s almost a decade. And we did a lot of things. Visited different cities, tried different foods, you gifting me a lot of things, made love in different areas….and with other people.” she replied, making the both of them laugh.

“Yeah. I guess we did have a good ride.”

They laid in silence for a few moments before she looked at him, tracing his lips. Sitting up, she places a few kisses on him before giving him a passionate kiss. He tries to fight back, but she holds him down, climbing on top on him. He breaks the kiss, catching his breath.

“Baby, as I much as I want to, I have to get back soon.”

“Then let me take care of you real quick. Just so you’re a little more relaxed.” she whispers, slowly unbuttoning his pants and sliding her hand into his boxers.

“Val, plea…” he replied as she wraps her hand around his aching length, making him grunt loud.

“Come on. You’re already hard….at least let me fix this.” she replied, moving herself towards the end so his length is in her face, gently stroking him.

He lets out a few hisses, biting his lip as he unbuttoned his shirt and removes it, gently guiding her to his length to engulf it, in which she does.

“Fuck. God, your mouth is warm…..” he mumbles, watching her bobble her head up and down.

Sounds of slurping and moans fills the room as she removes his length from her mouth, catching her breath as she stroked it faster, locking eyes with him.

“You like when I do that? Make you wince and moan like a man should?”

“Yes.” he moans, feeling his release building up. “How are you so good at?” he asks her in a whisper tone.

“Cause you made me like that. You and your nasty ass thoughts begging me to treat you like you did something bad….” she replied, tracing his head with her tongue, making him moan loud.

“Mm, you’re sick. You know that? You enjoy watching your wife fuck a bunch of women while you play with yourself cause you’re a piece of shit…”

“I am.” he replied, letting out a groan as he feels himself getting closer and closer, making her laugh.

“Oh you are?”

“Yes. I’m a piece of shit.”

“I should deny your pathetic ass your release right now, but I wanna see you squirm as you look at me with those pitiful eyes one last time.” she replied, stroking faster.

“Yes. I deserve that.” he whispers.

“Come on. Give it to me.”

“Fuck.”

“Give it to me, you piece of shit!” she yells, sticking her tongue.

As she said that, his release washes over him, shooting into her mouth and face. She kisses the tip one more time before wiping her face with her hand, licking up every drop as he huffed and puffed. She smiled before fear struck her, fading into a worried look.

“…..he was here.” she confessed.

Terrance shot up, looking at her with an irate glare. He leans into space, making her look away.

“…..why was he here?”

“He was…was trying to run away, attempting to recruit me to join him and rescue Hen, but I told him no and to leave before you came back.”

“Is that all that happened?”

She went quiet, praying that he doesn’t explode at the next thing she tells him.

“He insulted me, saying I’m under your control and I….”

He leans closer, gently turning her face to look at him, regret all over her expression.

“Valerie, what happen….”

“…..I revealed the truth in the heat of the moment. Fuck, I’m sorry..” she admits, immediately crying.

Terrance looks at her with disgust before getting up, quietly putting back on his clothes, turning to the door.

“Where is he at?”

“Should be home. I told him its not worth going AWOL cause we could get in tr—“

“Oh, you remembered the we part in that moment, huh?”

“I just said I was heated!”

“That don’t mean shit right now! I told you countless of times to not let anyone’s talking get under your skin so bad that you reveal everything we worked hard on covering for two years!” he yells at her.

“You know she and I take no one’s shit, so sorry for defending me.”

“You’re not her!” he yells, shaking his head.

She gasped, caught off by that statement. Tears begin filling in his eyes, rage taking over his body.

“You will never be my Valerie. Cause she can manage anger control better than you can. That’s what makes you two different.”

She laughs stiffly, getting up to sit at the vanity, examining her face.

“Well, if she was still alive, she would’ve abandoned you for how much of a pussy you are. That’s why you submitted to her real easily because you’re used to being walked over by anyone. And eventually, she would’ve gotten sick of it.”

“You wouldn’t know. You’re just a replica after all.”

“A replica of your deceased wife that you refuse to move on from because deep down, you’re the reason she’s dead in the first place. You and OuterMore took her out and you hate that.” she says as she begins washing her face with a cleanser.

“Watch your fucking mouth.” he says, pointing at her.

“Go fuck yourself, Terrance. Maybe the way I’m feeling is the reflection of her true feelings. She couldn’t push it out before it was too late!”

“I said ENOUGH!” he yells, making her pause and turn to look at him .

“Go away. It’s not like you have anything left to say other than you fucked yourself over by immediately taking the job offer from them and dragged her into it.”

Terrance stares at her with an intense glare before walking towards the door and opening it, pausing in his movement.

“……I just wanted to say: I have always loved you. That was real. I’m sorry if you felt different from it.” he said before walking out, slamming the door.

She sits in silence for a few minutes before letting out a scream, crying into her hands. She looks at herself in the mirror, seeing how red and puffy her face is.

Getting up to go the bathroom, she finishes washing her face and reapplying her makeup before putting her dress and shoes on, finally being dressed.

Examining herself in the mirror, she smiles a little bit, trying to regain confidence in her and not show that they are fighting. Accepting what she sees, she turns to leave, but it stopped suddenly by her dress being caught on the knob of the lower cabinet.

“Really….as if this day couldn’t get worse?” she mumbles as she tries to remove it, but it doesn’t budge.

After a few more pulls, the dress finally unhooks, but opens the door and something falls out. She picks it up to put it back, but stops as she recognizes the ‘OuterMore’ logo on the top. Placing it on the counter, she lift up the top, which turns on instantly, popping up a screen that reads: OM Eraser V2.

“…..he lied or he fucking forgot.” she mumbled, going through the menu options.

Seeing the ‘Set Up Memories To Erase’ option, she clicks on it. Reading the instructions to insert where the holes are behind your ears, she retrieves her pouch, unzipping to use her magnetic tool.

Picking it up, she holds up a mirror to get a closer view, as she places it behind her left ear. Watching it connect to a spot, it lights up a white glow shield before it opens, revealing the two holes need on that side. She does the same behind her right ear.

Reading the instructions, she inserts a white colored tube into the top one, which instantly connects and lights up as she inserts the second tube, a clear one, into the bottom one, which connects and sucks out blood, which is to monitor her vitals as the process happens. She winces, feeling uncomfortable with these inserted in her as she continues.

“Please go through the files and choose which memories to erase to begin the process. Be weary of your choices as this cannot be undone.” the female generated voice said, presenting the files on the screen.

Carefully looking through them, she chooses the night they hooked up with Junior, the exchange she had with him in the hallway, her catching him playing with himself, any admissions of Terrance crushing on him, the moments she looked at the window of Junior watching them fuck, and lastly, the conversations from today.

“Before we proceed, you do have the option to import memories that didn’t happen, but could be created to make it seem like it was. Would you like to do that?” she asks, showing her a YES or NO option.

Valerie thought about it, concerned about what fake memories it’s going to implant in her head and is this going to ruin the real ones she still has. She worries if he’s gonna treat her differently when he finds out what she did or she’ll remember him at all.

After thinking on it for a few more minutes, she clicks the YES option, holding in her breath.

“The process will begin as soon as you click the BEGIN button. It will take 30-35 minutes to wipe everything out and you may experience a death that seems real, but it’s just fictional. Some short term effects include dry mouth, headache, confusion, pain/swelling, muscle aches, and fatigue.”

Looking at herself in the mirror one last time, she clicks the button, patiently waiting for it to happen. Looking at the white tube, it slowly begins to fading into a blueish-green color, signaling that the process is starting.

Suddenly, she feels a shock shoot inside her, making her collapse to the floor in excruciated pain, gasping for air. She begins to shake violently, feeling her body slowly shutting down.

“No….please..” she mumbled, trying to pull the tubes out, but gets shocked.

Her vision becomes blurry as she looks at the machine, which shows that 1% of the process has occurred.

Then her eyes begins to blink…

And blink….

And…..blink.

And….bli…

An……

She enters a deep, dark space. Just floating around.

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Valerie wakes up on a gurney, confused by her surroundings. Noticing she’s in a van by herself, she gets up and pushes the doors open, jumping out.

Noticing its dark and the area is surrounded by a lot of OuterMore employees, from crew building a satellite to associates chatting in circles, she concludes that this is not her house.

But whose house is it?

Feeling very sore and the headache is overbearing, she sits on the ledge, gently rubbing her head. Looking at her hands, she notices the dry patches of blood all over them.

“….who’s blood is this?” she whispers, feeling her mouth and throat being very dry.

She touches all over, seeing if they cut her open while she was knocked out until she touches the back of her ears, making her wince. Then, the bruising overtakes her neck, causing her to lay back. Then, a few visions, from yelling with her old housemates to her being harassed by group of men, played in her mind, making her jump up.

Why is that showing? What does it have to do with….whatever is going on now?

“Valerie?” said a slightly familiar voice, making her turn around.

A man in a black suit runs to her, carrying a bottle of water as she stood there, not knowing what to do or say. He tries to hug her, but she steps back, making him look at her in a confusing way.

“….honey, it’s me? Terrance? Your husband?” he said, holding up his hand to flash his wedding band.

She looks at him, not moving by what he said, still thinking. His gaze drops, turning into a worried look.

“Oh my god, you don’t remember anything…..” he whispered, sitting on the ledge before he dropped to the floor.

She looks around, noticing no one else is watching them before sitting next to him. About to say something, she begins to cough very hard due to the dryness in her throat, making him twist the cap off and press the bottle to her lips, signaling her to drink it, in which she does.

“….you woke up just in time for his arrival.”

“W-whose arrival?” she asks, looking at him.

“Juni…nevermind.”

“….are we far from New York?”

“Been far. 8 years straight.”

“…….was I kidnapped?”

“No. Not at all. You met me at my postgrad party. Went on a few dates, moved in with me, and we got married.” he replied, gently picking up her hand to show her the engagement and wedding rings.

“Do we have kids?”

“No. None at all. That’s what I was trying to make happen before my suspension.”

“Suspension…..”

“How do I explain this….um. The house we’re currently at? This is the house of my current assignment. He has a…robot version of himself living with his real human wife. He comes home in 45 minutes, but he’s not why I’m suspended.”

“Is she the reason?”

He smiled, in awe of how she doesn’t understand what’s going on, which is a side effect of temporary memory loss, which will return in a few hours or less.

“….yeah. But, it’s mostly my fault.”

“Why?”

“Well. To make a long story short: you’re not a human like me and her. You’re actually a robot version of my deceased wife, who died the day you were installed. So, because of this, we trained you to make sure you never reveal your true self to anyone, even the robots of our assignments.”

“So you’re my master.”

“No!” he says loudly, startling her.

“Sorry, no. I didn’t mean to say it like that.” as he rubbed her hands.” But no. I’ve always hated when anyone described it as that.”

“But, is it not?”

“Not the way I see it. You’re someone I know, not someone I just….own. But, I’m suspended because his wife complained to one of my co-workers, who told my boss, that I broke company policy. Which I did. And they’re investigating me…..and you.”

“Why? I didn’t do nothing.” she said, pointing at herself.

“Basically, you are company property, despite having my late wife’s DNA in you. Meaning we can check for memories. So, because you were a witness to the violation, they’re taking you away to see what happened. And if they determine that I indeed violated it, I get fired and they keep you for good.” he says, looking down.

“…..so this is our final goodbye? Is that why I have blood all over my hands?”

“I found you on the bathroom floor like that. Was coming back to pick you to bring you hereI didn’t tell them that part, or how you were hooked to the Eraser. Which I’m assuming is why you can’t remember a damn thing right now. Either you successfully got rid of the evidence or you accidentally erased everything.”

“Is this why everything feels…..groggy?”

“Mmhm. But it will go away.”

She smiles a bit before drinking more of the water. She locks eyes with a worried Hen on the porch, who looks away immediately as Bill talks to her.

“Did you two have a fight?”

“No. Haven’t mentioned that I’m aware of what she did.”

“No. You and….Valerie. Well, me.”

“Um….yeah. If anything, we said things we shouldn’t had.”

“Like what?”

He shifts in his spot, turning to face her, who’s waiting to hear his response.

“To be fair, I said she’ll never be real Valerie. All because I was upset that she revealed her true self and the robot’s actual self. Then, she said if real Valerie was still alive, she would’ve left me by now because I’m….”

He begins sniffing, which makes her slightly panic and rub his shoulder.

“We don’t have to continue if you don’t want to.” she said, gently wiping his face.

“No, no. Its fine. I’m just….getting emotional because the more I think about it, the more I realize that she would’ve been right. She did hate seeing me down whenever I came home and told her that they keep shooting down my ideas. She egged me on to stand up, which i slightly did, but that wasn’t enough. I do think she was uncomfortable with the treatment, but I wasn’t taking it seriously.”

“Do you wish you did all of this before she died?”

“Always. Not a day goes by when I don’t think about it. That’s why I listen to everything she tells me so I don’t make that mistake again.”

“…..what’s going to happen to me?”

He looks at her, gently tracing her face before looking at Bill and Hen talking.

“I don’t know. But whatever they find in your memories, it’s life or death for me. They might turn you off.”

“And what? They just keep her DNA while you’re banished? That’s not fair.”

“That’s life. And I advise you to drop it. I’m already under a lot of stress.”

“Fine.”

She lays her head on his shoulder as they look ahead, watching everyone prepare for Junior’s arrival. She looks up at him, taking in his beauty while tracing his lips.

“What does she like about you?” she asked, making him smile.

“Intelligence is what brought her in. The way I take care of her. How I’m understanding. Committed to pleasuring her needs. My accent is somewhere on the list.” he replied, making the both of them laugh at the last part.

“…..can I ask you something?”

“Mmhm.”

“Can you kiss me like how you kissed her? Like….the first time?” she asked, looking at him.

He smiles, gently pulling her closer as he kisses her, squeezing her hips. She wraps her arms his neck to deepen the kiss, getting lost.

Memories of the night they met, their many dates, the first time they hooked up, their wedding, their honeymoon, them visiting many different stores and monuments, and their nights watching the sky played inside her mind as she opens her eyes, realizing she’s not at the house anymore.

“What the hell is going on?!” she says as she breaks the kiss, immediately standing up.

“Valerie? Is-is this really you?” he asks, getting up as well.

“What? Why wouldn’t I not be me? Aren’t you suppose to be inside, ready to shut him off?” she asks, pointing at the house.

He wraps his hands around her face, pulling her close to examine if this is really her or this is a different one. She looks at him confused, trying to figure out why he’s doing this.

“….are you okay?” she asks, breaking the silence.

“Do you remember anything? Like at all?”

“Why wouldn’t I? I still have her memories.”

“No. Like today.”

“Um……we argued…..about something. You told me something happened with…..OuterMore? So…..I grabbed a device that…..I don’t know, it did something and I just passed out on the floor.” she said, trying her best to remember.

“…..do you remember what we did a few nights ago? With him?”

“……we did something with Junior? I thought he stormed off after I put Hen to bed?”

Terrance looks at her with an amused look. Then, he laughs happily as he picked her up and spun them around, being happy that she successfully erased the memories.

“It worked. It fucking worked!” he exclaims, kissing all over her face.

“Ah! What are you talking abo…..ooh.” she asked, but it cut off by a random sting behind her ears.

“Oh, my bad.” he says, placing her on the ledge before kneeling in front of her. “But….I think you saved us. You have to recover, that’s all. I’ll explain it to you when you’re healed.”

“…..should I be scared?” she whispers, looking at him.

“….depends on the long term side effects. Just be you as we do this as normal, okay?”

She nods, gently rubbing the back off her ears. He smiles kisses her forehead as a car pulls up to the house. Noticing who it is, he helps Valerie up, walking her into the house, as they pass Hen and Bill, who eyes her down.

Looking around the pink hue room, she takes in the familiar atmosphere as this is just another day for him and OuterMore.

Computers loading up, a massive suction bag to carry him out, everyone running around to make sure everything is ready to as the duo walk into the dining room, now an empty space with chairs, cameras, and microphones set up.

Almost like a production is about to take place and she’s just an extra in it.

“Sit back here. We’re about to begin.” he whispers, gesturing her to sit.

She obliges, adjusting herself as he hands her a wipe. Confused, she takes it, but instantly notices the dried blood all over her hands and wipes them off. He sends her a small smile before walking out the door to greet real Junior.

As she patiently waits, a group of OuterMore agents walk in, carrying something in a black plastic cover. Placing it in the center, they remove it, revealing an unconscious A.I. Junior lying, with his hands and ankles wrapped in chained metal bracelets, preventing him from moving.

She takes it all in, feeling bad for him that this was all just a planned stimulation as the real one lived in space.

“Hello, Valerie.” a familiar male voice greets her.

She looks up and notices that it was Bill, Terrance’s boss and the CEO of OuterMore, staring down at her. She sends a small smile to him.

“Nice to see you again, Bill.” she replied.

He nods before walking into a different room, wanting to watch from a distance.

A few minutes later, footsteps are heard walking through the door. Turning around, she sees real Junior walking, taking in A.I. Junior’s figure as Hen and Terrance walk behind him. A mini camera hovers over him as they got close, but Hen stays back, standing in the doorway.

“Hen?” asks A.I. Junior as he slowly wakes up, trying to map out what’s going on and move, but is immediately dragged down by the chains.

“Holy shit. It’s so fucking real.” said real Junior, looking at him in amazement.

He looks up, horrified that the person he replicates is standing in front of him, while having an audience watching.

“I know how you must be feeling, but I need you to stay calm.” said Terrance.

“No….no….” he said, trying to break free.

“I’m sorry that we deceived you, but it was the only way to test your full capacity and function.”

A.I. Junior looks at Valerie, who looks at him with sadness in her eyes.

“He’s not the replacement, Junior. Its you. This is Hen’s real husband.” he continued, pointing at real Junior.

“Where is she?! Hen! HEN!” he yells, not realizing she’s a few feet away.

“She’s safe. Standing by the doorway.”

“Is Valerie enjoying this? Watching you tear a marriage apart while she sits and does nothing?”

Terrance looks at Valerie, who looks down in shame, very uncomfortable that he mentions her. Hen looks at her, very angry.

“Who’s Valerie?” asked real Junior.

“My wife. Who has nothing to do with this. Just my support system.” said Terrance.

“She has a lot to do with it actually.” said Hen, who walks into the room.

“Or you’re just making up shit because you don’t like me.” said Valerie, who looks up immediately.

“Valerie, don’t.” said Terrance, but is instantly cut off by Hen.

“Oh, don’t fucking pretend you don’t know what you and him did just because my husband is back!”

“What is going on?” asked real Junior.

“A public psychosis.” said Valerie.

“Fuck you.” said Hen. “I know what I heard and you two can pretend it didn’t happen all you want! You guys are sick for bringing him into it.” Hen replied, pointing at A.I. Junior.

“I don’t know what she’s talking about, but I don’t appreciate being lied on in front of people right now and she’s pushing it.” she replied, getting up.

“People, we don’t need to get off the railings here. We’re all here to explain to him that everything he has done in the last two years was apart of his mission. How every memory was designed from what Junior told us before we implanted them, and every emotion is all from him.”

“You’re lying! Hen, tell him that he’s lying!” said A.I. Junior.

“Does that include you two engaging in sex with him? Hm? Or am I making that up?” asked Hen, getting in Terrance’s face, who backs up.

“Hen, are you okay? I never slept with him. I would never after he has insulted me numerous of times since we met!” yelled Valerie as she walks towards her.

Junior holds her back, with Valerie slapping his hands away, staring him down.

“Calm down.” he said.

“Or what? You’re gonna dismiss my feelings like you always have with her?! Because all of this here? Your fault for being a shitty husband! That’s why she had to fuck him while you were gone!”

Junior, with an appalled look, turns to Hen, who now has an exasperated expression on her face.

“…..you fucked him after you swore you wouldn’t?”

“Hen, please make it stop! He can’t take my spot!” yelled A.I. Junior, still attempting to break free.

“I thought we were genuinely getting along. Looks like I was wrong. You’re just another person who has to feed into someone’s needs to make them happy. And that’s why you two fucked him.” said Hen, looking at Valerie.

Valerie lets out a stifled laugh, rubbing her face as she sat back down, still laughing bewildered.

“Hen, did you drink too much or are you really that upset that he’s being shut off? Because where are you getting me and Terrance fucked him from?!” she asked.

Terrance turns his head to laugh, very amused that the memories did in fact erase from her mind as real Junior watches all of this unfold, just confused. Hen gets even more pissed, going to kneel by A.I. Junior.

“It was after you put me to sleep after we danced to Black Velvet! You told me to spend the day with him before he came home. I went to sleep and woke, hearing him moaning, with Terrance say something explicit to him. I fell asleep again, but woke up. I heard you get fucked by the both of them and you won’t admit it because you’re hiding him being bisexual as well.”

Valerie nods, completely intrigued by what she said before getting up, going to sit in one of the front row seats to face her as Terrance and real Junior watched.

“Wow, you definitely had too much to drink that night because what you just said is some of the most factious shit I have ever heard. This is probably you guys’ craziest assignment ever and now, this is probably the best one to end with before starting your new position, honey. Congratulations!” she said, clapping erratically.

“I’m glad you’re finding our pain humorous. But then again, you have nothing to lose anyway.” said Hen, looking down at A.I. Junior.

“I’m not laughing at your pain. I’m laughing at the fact that your marriage is so fried, you had to just make up shit to attempt to ruin not only mines, but cost him his job? Embarrassing. But let me clarify everything since you think you caught something.” said Valerie as she leans forward.

“Yes, he has had thoughts of sleeping with a man. Yes, I’m am attracted to women, hence why we tend to hook up with them. He hasn’t found one because he works too damn hard. And seriously, do you think he would just choose that to try it out with? Costing him everything? He’s not dumb, but clearly you are.”

“Watch it.” said real Junior.

“Let her be.” said Terrance.

“You wanna know what actually happened that night? After I put you to bed? I went to my bedroom, changed out of my dress, and was reading. They were doing another interview, which I thought was odd since it was pretty late, but didn’t say much. Suddenly, I hear this noise.”

She stomps her foot a few times, trying to mimic Junior punching holes in the wall.

“And he was throwing something around. I got worried, so I knocked on the door. My husband opens it, assuring everything was fine. But, I looked over his shoulder and see Junior laid up against wall, groaning as his knuckles were bleeding. That’s why he has those scars.”

Everyone looks at his hands, which confirms that he indeed has scars from that. He scoffs, not buying it.

“Then why did he say something explicit? And why were you moaning?” she asked.

“You must’ve heard him say “he was going fucking mad” then. Cause that’s what he said to me when I asked what happened to him. As for why I was moaning, you’re right. I was getting fucked……by him and him only. You were so drunk, you couldn’t comprehend that it was just me and him fucking, while Junior was passed out in the room. Which we left him there because we wasn’t sure if you wanted him next to you.”

“You’re lying. I just know you are.” said a tearful Hen.

“Well, we’ll see when the investigation is over.” said Terrance.

“What investigation?” asked Valerie.

“Oh, forgot to mention: she complained and Bill & OM have suspended me.”

“Of course. Of fucking course….” she said, crawling towards Hen.

“What are you doing?!” asked A.I. Junior.

“I’m not gonna do anything. I think it’s so foul that I had to put my business out there because of your intolerance to leaving.” she said, being face-to-face to Hen.

“Get away from me!” said Hen.

“No. Because I want you to feel how I’m feeling with how you have behaved towards not me, but Terrance since you agreed to do this program.”

“I didn’t want this! Never!” she yelled back, snapping her face towards her.

“You did. Because you hate it here. You want to explore and he doesn’t. You beg for your needs to be met and while replica has done a great job, real one won’t. You can’t make yourself walk out that door because you don’t know what’s he’s gonna do if you don’t come back. So tell me: why do you enjoy suffering like this?”

“Get away from her!” said A.I. Junior.

“Valerie, that’s enough.” said Terrance.

“No. No! I want to hear this because she’s fine with doing this to you.” said Valerie.

She slaps Hen, making everyone gasps as Terrance pulls her away, walking her out. Hen screams, grabbing her face while Junior tries to run at them, as Valerie continues yelling until he puts her in the car.

“What the hell was that?!” he asked, looking at her.

“She started it. And I finished it.”

“No. You made it worse and now, Bill is going to suspect something even more.”

“Let him! I don’t care anymore. I don’t ca…I don’t…” she said, before slowly drifting off.

“Valerie? What’s wrong? Talk to me.” he says, examining her by checking her pulse, stomach, and neck.

“I thin….i think I’m just tired. Just blew the rest of m…my energy.”

She rubs his face as she slowly falls asleep, exhausted from everything. He looks at her, places a blanket over before heading back inside, apologizing for her outburst before resuming everything.

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A few weeks later, Valerie and Terrance are in the car, patiently waiting to arrive to their destination.

Valerie, now fully recovered, looks out the window as Terrance finishes up his work before putting it in his suitcase.

“Do we have to visit them? Its our anniversary after all.” she said, breaking the silence.

“We have to. This is how the assignment always ends…..and the investigation closes.”

“Yeah, but why? She tried to ruin us and your job.”

“You assaulted her. You would’ve been home much sooner if you didn’t do that.”

“I was just trying to get back at her for her treatment towards you.” she mumbled.

“That’s not the way to go about it. You could’ve ended up being taken away.”

“Well, I’m still here and you still have a job. Can we move on now? This is not how I wanted to spend our anniversary.”

“You don’t have to get out the car. I’ll talk to them, which won’t be too long and then, we’ll be on our way to the headquarters.”

“Whatever…” she scoffed.

Terrance sighs, grabbing her hands and rubbing them.

“I promise the anniversary gift is worth the surprise in the end. Just be patient.” he said, kissing them.

Valerie removes her hands, ignoring him. He looks ahead, fearing that one of the long term effects might’ve gotten her: growing irritation.

A few minutes later, the car pulls up to Junior and Hen’s, parking in the front. The door unlocks and lifts up, with Terrance getting out and pushing it shut. He looks at her, shaking his head before walking to the porch.

She looks away, not wanting to look at him greet them. She takes out her book and begins reading, getting to the chapter where Lauren and her community are moving to a location owned by one of them.

“Cannot believe she actually slept with Bankole.” she mumbled, reading the page in front of her.

The door unlocks and lifts up again, with Terrance getting in, dragging it down to close it. He has an angry look, typing in the address to headquarters and waits for the car to move. He looks over at Valerie, who is still reading.

“She apologized.” he said, breaking the silence.

“Good for her.” she mumbled, not breaking her focus.

Terrance shakes his head as he laid back and closed, taking a nap as the car begins to move.

🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲

“Well, isn’t it my favorite married couple coming to see me.” said Bill as Terrance and Valerie walks into his office.

Terrance greets him with a handshake as Valerie takes in the massively room he resides in.

The wall of big windows that shows the inside of the labs below, from researching, running tests, creating new liquids, and the design of the replicas to assignments getting measured for their spacesuits stands behind his desk and brings light into his dark colored office.

Books spread out, files all over the table, a big clock tower in the corner, and numerous lab coats all over the furniture adds to the busy atmosphere at OuterMore, which concerns her even more for Terrance’s recent promotion.

“Very busy as you can tell.” said Bill, looking at her with a peculiar look.

“You’re not gonna strap me down like you did during the investigation?” she asks, staring him down.

Bill grimaces as Terrance looks at her, gesturing her to let it go. She walks towards his desk, taking a seat in one of the chairs.

“I understand you still hold some feelings about what happened, but I do apologize for causing a bit of harm than relief.” he replied, taking a seat in his chair as Terrance sits next to her.

“Hm…..I’ll let bygones be bygones if you explain what is this gift he keeps egging on about?” she said, looking over at Terrance.

“Well, I’ll gladly answer that.” said Bill, going through the pile of files before find one and putting it in front of him.

He opens it, examining the documents inside as Valerie and Terrance wait patiently, with the latter constantly looking over at her unawareness, smiling to himself.

“So….Valerie. The reason he brought you here today is because I have made his special request a reality as the perfect way to celebrate your anniversary. But, it is entirely up to you if you accept it.” said Bill, looking at her.

“Okay. So what is it?” she asked, slowly becoming irritated.

“Before I get into that, I wanted to run something real quick with Terrance that pertains to Valerie before the unfortunate accident.”

“……what is it?” asked Terrance, with a puzzled look on his face.

“If I remember correctly, you and her made some big decisions just incase things go awry during the mission.”

“Yeah?”

“While I did create a pregnancy program for any replicated female assignment who’s looking to start a family incase the real one passes away during the trip, I found something that would be quite easier with some adjustments.” he said, getting up to pull out a black folder that has an unrecognizable logo on the front.

“Okay, so what did you find?”

Bill looks at him, smiling a bit before opening the folder to read it as he walks back over.

“I know grief is something that will never go away and causes you to forget sometimes, but this was interesting. It appears that a few weeks before the mission, Valerie froze her eggs……” he said, handing the folder to Terrance.

“What?!” said Terrance, taking it out of his hands to read the file as Valerie looks at him with a stern look on his face.

“Yes. Valerie froze all of her eggs just incase something happened. That’s her signature and in the notes, it says that you were aware, supported her decision to be cautious.” Bill furthered explained.

“I-I….” he laughed in disbelief. “I can’t believe I forgot about her eggs, oh my god…” he said, rubbing his face as he continuously read the documents over.

“It’s okay. Luckily, I found it so I can suggest an easier option if she….” said Bill as he looks at Valerie, who looks away from Terrance.

Valerie looks down, feeling herself get nauseous as the men continued talking. Her vision becomes blurry, head begins to hurt as the stinging sensation , that had been unleashing inside her these last few weeks, returns, making her collapse to the ground in pain.

Terrance immediately rushes to her side, raising his hand towards Bill to stay back as he gently picks her up, rubbing her stomach as she attempts to catch her breath.

“Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.” he whispers, mimicking the motion of breathing in and breathing out.

As she inhaling and exhaling, memories she has never seen begins to play in her mind: Valerie and Terrance talking about the eggs and what she’s gonna do, her waiting nervously at fertility clinc, her getting her eggs removed while sedated, and recovering afterwards, with him taking care of her.

The sensation fades away, making her look at Terrance, who’s checking to make sure she’s okay.

“…..that’s what she wanted me to see.” she said weakly, rubbing his face.

“What? Who are you talking about?” he asks, gently sitting her up.

“…..Valerie. She wanted me to see her at the clinic, freezing her eggs. That’s the memory she wanted me to find…” she replied, slowly becoming teary eyed.

He looks at her, gently rubbing her legs as Bill, who watches immensely, takes notes of what she’s saying.

“You think it was a sign?” he asked, his voice slightly breaking.

“Yes. I think she wanted me to see it as her way of giving her approval to go through with fertilizing her eggs and finally having kids....” she said, breaking down immediately.

Soft cries fill the room as Terrance pulls her into his chest, consoling her. Bill, feeling like he shouldn’t be present during this moment, quietly leaves the room. After a few minutes, she looks up, sniffling as she wipes her red, swollen eyes.

“….I don’t think I want to go through it, Terrance.” she confesses, gently removing herself from his chest.

“Valerie, don’t do this.” he said, pulling her back.

“No, cause she’s suppose to be here, experiencing this. This is what she wanted and I’m just a replica of her.” she said, gently pushing him back.

“Don’t say that!” he exclaimed, holding her hands.

“You always dreamed of having kids. I see the way you look at babies, watching children play, you browsing baby outfits while we’re out shopping, even you crying at little kid characters in films and shows. You definitely been waiting to be a mom and you wanna throw that away because you feel like you’re taking something away from her?” he asked, tears filling up in his eyes.

“…yes. This is something so special that you two hoped to experience when she was done with her mission. And it just doesn’t feel right. I don’t know if I’m just terrified of going through it or it just won’t work and I just don’t….” she replied, exhaling loud at the last part.

“Valerie. How long have we been married for?” he asks.

“…..9 years as of today.”

“And how long have you been living as her?”

“….5.”

“You had enough time to adjust to being her permanently. That’s something most of our replicas will never experience, unless a tragedy happens. I will never get over her death, but I also know she would want me to be happy and move on, never forgetting her. Which is why you’re here, still standing. And that’s something you should be proud of, Val.” he said as he cries, squeezing her hands.

“We go through things that every married couple go through and while some don’t make it, we did. It’s okay to be terrified of doing this. But you’re not alone.” he said, rubbing his head against hers.

“And if it fails, we’ll try again until we can’t anymore. I’m not leaving your side and will step in if I sense something is off. Even if I have to fight.”

“Don’t say that.” she whispers.

“They already made you uncomfortable a few times, I don’t give a damn.” he replied, making both of them laugh.

“Okay, you can have control this time.”

“I better. Cause you about to be on bedrest, carrying my baby. Or should I say…..babies!” he replied, kissing all over her face, make them fall over.

Valerie smiles, passionately kissing him as they laid over on the floor. He breaks the kiss, catching his breath as he looks at her, taking in her beauty.

“I’m assuming that’s a yes?” he asked, eyeing her.

“…..what are they gonna do to me?” she asked.

“Well. While the eggs unfreeze, they have to install like an incubator-like machine to act like a uterus for the babies inside you.”

“…..can I get removed afterwards?”

“Yeah. You don’t have to keep it if you don’t want to re-experience menstrual cycles or have more kids.”

“Thank god. Wait, does Bill do…..”

“No. Our women associates are only allowed to do that. He made that a priority in the policy in case one of the male lab workers messes up.”

Valerie laid back, thought about her decision for a few more moments as Terrance waited patiently for her answer, hoping she makes the right choice.

“……fine. I’ll do it.” she said, smiling a bit.

“That’s my girl.” he whispered, kissing her.

🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲

A year passes, with Valerie and Terrance lying in bed, asleep. She wakes up, quietly stretching her arms as she looks at the clock.

7:18 AM.

“Damn, I’m up early.” she mumbled before yawning, turning to look at Terrance.

He laid sound asleep, with no shirt on. Just as she liked it. She gently traces over his face, not trying to wake him up as she scoots closer to him, lying on his chest. She kisses it gently, hearing him grunt a bit in his sleep.

“Come on. Wake up for me…” she whispers, placing kisses all over his chest.

He smiles before wrapping his arms around her and flipping them, with him being between her legs as she laid on the bed. He opens his eyes, looking at her with admiration before kissing her.

“You think you were something by teasing me like that?” he asked, rubbing her hips.

“I was missing your attention…” she whines, batting her eyelashes.

“At 7 in the morning?”

”Yeah? You see how fine you are?”

Terrance chuckles, trailing his hands towards her neck, wrapping them around it and pulling her close to him, making her gasp.

“I wanna fuck you so bad right now.” he said, pecking her mouth. “But you just got that incubator removed.”

“I mean…..they don’t have to know.” she said, kissing him back.

“I’m not causing you more pain down there.” he said, gently laying her back down, making her sigh.

“I can survive a fucking, you know?”

“After having our bundles of joy? Absolutely not!”

She turns away, playfully moving away from him. He pulls back, cuddling her as he kisses all over her neck, making her laugh.

“Oh, now you wanna love on me as I’m trying to get away from you!” she said, trying to pull away from him.

“I just don’t wanna break you. Even though..”

He kisses her chest, making his way to her arm as she holds back her moans, sensitive to his lips.

“These extra curves they put on you is tempting.” he added, kissing her side before trailing towards her thigh, placing a few kisses on it.

Suddenly, a baby’s cry fills the sound in the room, making the both of them groan, knowing day…..whatever number of parenthood is beginning soon.

“Told you she was gonna wake up first.” said Valerie, smiling at him.

“So Teyana takes after you after all!” he replied, earning a slap across his chest.

“Mama’s mini me, dada’s first name similarity.” she responded, sticking her tongue out.

He rolls his eyes, getting up to get their awaken child. Then, a second baby’s cry joins the first one with filling in the sound, making Terrance and Valerie laugh.

“And there goes Valen.” said Valerie.

“Probably wanted to sleep in if it wasn’t for his sister.” Terrance said sarcastically, walking out of the room.

“He takes after you after all!” Valerie replied sarcastically.

A few minutes later, the crying stops. Terrance walks back in, carrying their four month old twins, Valen and Teyana, in each of his arms, both cooing and looking around their surroundings. Valerie looks in awe, smiling that their babies came out not only healthy, but a perfect mixture of the both of them.

“Which one you want, baby?” asked Terrance, rocking the twins carefully.

“Hand me my oldest.” she replied, holding her arms out.

Terrance walks towards her and hands Teyana to her, which she gently takes out of his hold, placing her on her chest. which makes her smiles.

“Morning, my pretty girl.” she said in a baby voice, making Teyana coo as Terrance and Valen lay next to them.

“Slept well, youngin?” Terrance asked Valen, who is lying against his lap, moving around a bit.

Valen smiled, flashing his gummy smirk at his dad, who smiles back at him. Valerie gently lays next to him, lying Teyana against her lap. The twins interact with each other, making baby calls that only they know and their parents laugh at.

“Hey Terrance?” asked Valerie.

“Hm?” said Terrance as he looks at her.

“….thank you.” she replied, kissing him.

“For what?”

“…..for giving me a family.” she replied, holding back tears.

Terrance smiles, watching her interact with their children as he reminisces the day he met Valerie three days after real Valerie’s death….his heart beating a little faster.

🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲

A/N II: Sorry for being a little late with publishing this. I’ve been busy with work and was fighting for my life in that Canvas Beauty Black Friday PreSale Live (got all the products I wanted!). Happy Thanksgiving!

Taglist: @urfavblackbimbo @blyffe @literallegendicon @kimuzostar @dionpierre

[cartoon-buffoon]

Okay because I came up with a (in my humble opinion) the FIRE ship name of "Starbuck" which is Monster Frankie X the contestant, I wanna explain why this ship is so good because y'all fr sleeping on it. Unlike Rabbit royale which I've been seeing as portrayed as a toxic yoai situation where neither parties are good for each other, Starbuck is DOOMED yoai and it makes it SOOOO GOOD, now lemme set the scene real quick:

Monster Frankie has been acclimated to being the star of the show. No contestant has ever survived more than a few MINUTES. He's a sadistic killer who fucking GIGGLES when he kills someone, there's nothing the bastard loves more than crushing people and having all the audience watch him do it. A new season starts and the plan changes a bit, he has orders to NOT kill the contestant and this is what bothers him. He's mad, after all this is HIS gameshow, he is Frankie, the star, the one everyone comes to watch kill, and suddenly he's not supposed to do that? I mean, he does ATTEMPT to listen but ultimately he argues with Real Frankie about it because he's pissed, he doesn't want this nobody to survive until Hexa-Havoc, he wants them fucking DEAD! He goes out of his way to kill the contestant yet he's stopped by Real Frankie and this ultimately leads to the final confrontation. When he sees Real Frankie try to help the contestant out he's enraged and grabs him by the springy wrist and effectively tells that smiley bastard to fuck off and he's done, the plan is over, they made it to Hexa Havoc meaning what happens now is FAIR GAME!

And it was a fair game, but THAT'S THE ISSUE! In a fair fight with the platforms disappearing and them giving chase they somehow lose. For the first time in 50-something seasons they actually LOSE, this random nobody comes in and beats them and they get sent into an incinerator. Not only that, but after he comes back to life with his consciousness going into a spare suit they had he finds that same fucker who beat him as a contestant in the NEXT season.

And this is where it starts

Season after season Monster Frankie chases with the contestant running and ultimately beating him each and every time. Obstacles change, renovations are made to the parkour palace, seasons tick by. But never once does Monster Frankie figure out how to beat this masked weirdo who just showed up and asserted themselves as this reoccurring guest. His fame, his fun, EVERYTHING that he had built up as a cruel and relentless killer who the audience bets on to murder is flipped upside down. It's this loss after loss that makes Monster Frankie stop thinking the contestant is some lucky little fuck, he begins to realize what he's losing to is SKILL!

THAT'S WHERE IT BLOOMS! There's this unspoken rivalry that starts between them. Monster Frankie will continue to hunt and the contestant will continue to run, the contestant has this constant thrill of being near death thanks to this giant toothy rabbit and Monster Frankie has this little thorn in his side who continues to best him. He's intrigued, mad, but ultimately he can't help but feel a sort of attraction to this. And maybe it ain't one sided? After all the thrill of getting chased is what keeps the contestant coming back after each season and no one else gives them such a rush expect for Monster Frankie. Even if they don't talk much (at least they don't on camera, what happens off screen is left up to anyone's imagination ╮⁠(⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)⁠╭ ) they still fall for each other and find themselves constantly trying to beat the other in this constant hunt.

All good things must come to an end though. As one would guess watching the same person get chased by the same monster may become boring to the audience. You can only change up the obstacles so much before it STILL becomes boring to the watchers. Now's the tragic part: the show has to change. It HAS to, the ratings are starting to drop and then higher ups are demanding things to be shaken up leading both to make a choice. If Monster Frankie and his continuous failures has bored the audience which is gonna force the higher ups to scrap him, they're gonna get rid of him and instead have something else replace him, idk maybe some NEW mascot and he'll be left forgotten and in the incinerator instead of getting a new body. On the other hand the contestant could die, the reigning champ could be dethroned leading to a new champ to possibly rise leading to a new fan favorite the audience can cheer for.

Whatever the case then end is near for the two. One of them is doomed no matter what, one HAS to perish and it's beyond devastating. This rivalry that blossomed into love, what started off as hate that became fondness and possibly even affection is torn away by the same gameshow that brought them both together. It's this tragedy that makes this ship SOOOO FUCKING GOOD! AHHH! I FUCKING LOVE THIS, YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA!

[agxinstthesun]

an overly complex analysis of how the killjoys deal with loss

party poison-

party poison has a soul crushing fear of death. maybe it isn’t apparent- not what you’d expect from someone who appears so confident and in tune with themselves, but there’s signs. the way their eyes go dark when anyone in the crew gets even slightly injured- the way they're always first to volunteer to stay up all night on patrol, knowing their paranoia would keep them up either way. you could chalk it up to their “leader instincts,” but their crew would argue it runs deeper than that. a good leader doesn’t have to do what party does- a good leader - by zone standards - keeps the group motivated- keeps them from splitting up. party poison keeps the group alive, together. they took a team and effortlessly morphed it into a family. admitting to it would feed their suspended guilt even more, but each time they hear of a death outside their inner circle, a small part of them is relieved that it wasn't their family blinded by the witches touch that day.

if it were to happen, it would destroy them. the loss would be bad enough, but the guilt of it all might be enough to put them out of commission for a long while. as strong as they are, the role of "leader" digs into them like the soles of a brand new pair of shoes. leaving an indent of responsibility and overcompensation in the sand with every step they take.

jet star-

jet star never strays far from death, not since what happened to his family. finding his parents ghosted after an unexpected raid carried out by some particularly violent exterminators was the catalyst for a lot of things in his life. his heightened sympathy for the dead and the mourning was one of those things. he was known throughout the desert as a safe person to talk to about those topics. it was even said that he would offer sympathy despite negative affiliations or disagreements your group had with his. it'd be a lie to say it didn't weigh on him, though. the anger built up from hearing all of these stories and the lingering effects from his own experiences culminated in an intense hatred for BLI and everything they had done. this passion was the one thing him and party poison truly connected over when they first met.

it's no surprise that, if confronted by a companions passing, this anger and passion would hit him hard. how unfair it is, how inhumane, it shakes him. initially, he'd think to organize- to finally just go for it and take out as many of those pigs as possible- but he wouldn't. he's too aware of the amount of people in the zones that still need him. he's second in command, he's as much a leader as party is. still, he'd become distant. it'd serve as another warning not to get too close, to not give too much of yourself to something that is only ever temporary.

fun ghoul-

fun ghoul doesn't acknowledge death. despite his ever frequent catfights with it, he manages to get by rarely considering the possibility. the truth being that if he did, the weight of it all would crush him. deep down, he knows he's helpless to it. he knows that each time he evades her grasp, she gets smarter. it's no doubt it'll all catch up to him eventually..but his friends are all untouchable. seeing them injured, near ghosted? it never feels real. on a bad night, he'll think of how the others must look down, mortified, to him each time he’s left bleeding out against the desert sun. it gives him a sense of importance sometimes, but usually it just builds guilt.

if he had to face a loss head on, it would be a pivotal moment to him. as the reality set in, he'd feel lost. stupid for being naive enough to ignore it for so long. that love of throwing himself into the danger that he relied so heavily on before would fade just as fast as it came, the loss weighing him down in small ways for as long as he lived. the remorse he’d feel for pushing his love inward, and seldom expressing it, would sit heavy on his shoulders. he'd cling even more to whatever it is he had left, and protect it with his whole life.

kobra kid-

kobra kid is conflicted on death. of course it scared him- the thought that he would disappear one day, but more often than not, he caught himself wondering if that was just something he had picked up from party. the longer he thought about it on his own time, the more the thought became oddly comforting. the fact that there would eventually be a moment of rest amidst all the chaos didn’t sound all that bad to him..of course, it also pissed him off. it made him mad that the city forced that mindset onto you. the idea that submitting yourself to death was the only way to true freedom. however, it wouldn’t take long for the morbid curiosity found its way back to him.

he was almost too aware of the looming presence of death around him and the rest of the crew (the rest of the desert, really). if it happened, he wouldn’t be shocked, but deeply mourning still. he’d send letters in the mailbox, despite always considering it a futile effort. he’d silently participate in whatever zone rituals he thought would help him feel better, though they almost never would. he’d become especially reclusive and unresponsive to sympathy- it’s just something people do to feel like they’re helping, right? he’s way more dependent on his crew than he’d ever let on, and this fate would only further prove that.

[scribefindegil]

[Image ID: A page from the Reigen manga. Panel 1: Reigen stands in a forest looking exhausted. He says, “At least I bought bug spray this time . . .” Panel 2: He sprays himself down. Panel 3: A closeup of his face. He’s dripping with sweat and his eyes are sunken. He says, “Preparations complete.” Panel 4: Reigen loosens his tie as he staggers towards the viewer. His face is sweaty and he has a haggard expression. He says, “All right then . . .” End ID.]

Okay listen it’s been a month since i read this and i CANNOT stop thinking about “At least I bought bug spray this time. . .” It’s just. It’s so Reigen.

This man is dying. He is being eaten alive by a curse that will kill him in less than 3 hours--probably closer to 2 by this point because this place is pretty far outside of Seasoning City. Since Serizawa couldn’t destroy the curse, he knows that Mob is the only person who could get rid of it--and he doesn’t think that he’ll get there in time, if he comes at all. Reigen’s last-ditch plan is to try to trudge into the most haunted forbidden evil woods he knows about in the hope that he can make the curse that’s killing him fight a different, worse curse, and if that doesn’t work at least he’ll die in a place far away from other people and the curse will be prevented from victimizing anyone else.

And what does he say when he arrives at the Evil Death Woods? “At least I brought bug spray.”

One of the things that makes Reigen’s character work is that he is Just Some Guy. A deeply bewildering, paradoxical guy who lies for a living, but still just a guy. Different characters in MP100 are trying to exist in slightly different genres, and for all his absurdity Reigen is the character who is the most grounded in the real world. He worries about his fire insurance during a psychic terrorist attack. He’s the one who goes “Hey, this is illegal?” and “Kids should not be dealing with this” and “You’re supposed to be adults, what is your PROBLEM?” when he’s introduced to the shonen-anime-villain Scars.

And he’s the sort of person who thinks, yeah, dying of a horrible curse in the woods would be bad, but you know what would be worse? That and bug bites. And he’s not . . . wrong, but it’s not something that anyone else in the series is going to think of. It’s such a normal worry in such an abnormal situation. It’s so grounded.

And it’s also . . . weirdly hopeful? I feel like a lot of people talk about this part of the manga like Reigen’s given up and is just marching to his death, but he really isn’t. Yes, he was willing to take on the curse to save Tome, and he’s well aware that he might die, but he’s still trying to get out of it with everything he’s got. He doesn’t have powers, but he’s really clever! He goes into a place with a time distortion effect in the hope that it will buy him more time! He manipulates the curse into turning around so that it gets attacked by the Mimic spirit but he doesn’t! If it had been a more even match between them like he’d hoped, he might have been able to get out of the woods even without Mob coming to save him.

He’s aware of the danger and how much the odds are stacked against him, but he hasn’t given up! And the bug spray feels indicative of this. He thinks he might succeed in getting rid of the curse. He thinks he might need to get out of the woods on his own. And if that happens, he’s going to be so happy about not getting covered in bug bites this time.

[perpetualprocrastinationisme]

Is Ty in Denial Over Livvy?

Artist: Charlie Bowater

I think it's worth noting that what Ty is currently experiencing re: Livvy is not grief but denial. - Cassie Answering Asks on Tumblr

I think this really points to what one of the biggest points of tension in the TWP series is going to be: the denial that Ty might be in over Livvy. This is how Cassie answered a question about why Kit left without saying goodbye to the Blackthorns in QOAAD. But is Ty really in denial? That's what I'm trying to ascertain by analyzing the passages below.

PS. If you do find a ghost, treat it kindly. I don’t think all ghosts mind being ghosts, as long as people are nice to them.

So this is how Ty ended a letter to Emma and Julian in SOBH. I feel like this shows us that to Ty, the real reason that someone may not like being a ghost is that they're ignored and not treated well. So the answer to the issue with Livvy is just to treat her the best he possibly can, to always be there for her. (Also, just to say this, Ty is one of the most sincerely kind characters in the whole TSC universe if you really examine scenes that include him. So, I also just think this quote stems from who Ty is at heart). But is simply treating Livvy well enough? Does that meet her needs? We see Livvy's perspective in GOTSM here:

There was so little to feel. For months now she had been less than a shadow at Ty's heels. Oh, why couldn't Livvy do the same? Why was she the only one who could not return and take up her life again?

While I do think that being kind to ghosts like Livvy or Rupert is important, the primary injustice here is that Livvy gets to be almost human, just without the parts that make life most worth living. Here we see that she continuously feels this sense of unfairness, why does everybody else get to live their lives except for her? Why is there so little for her to feel?

Here's another of Ty's perspectives on Livvy's resurrection:

She said a lot of reassuring things. But it still gave me a cold feeling, which I think is my body telling my brain that I’m afraid. If Julian and Emma found out about Livvy, they wouldn’t just be angry. They’d feel like they had to do something, like lay her to rest. People don’t think ghosts can be happy, but Livvy is happy. She helps me with work and she tells me advice for Anush (he has a crush on Rayan’s sister Nasha) and when we’re alone we play games or I read to her. She can’t do everything but why would being all the way dead be better? Everyone calls it “rest” but no one really knows, do they?

I feel like with Ty we consistently see this idea that Livvy being a ghost is better than nothing. In QOAAD when Kit tells him that he doesn't think Livvy would want to be resurrected Ty tells him that he doesn't think Livvy would want to be dead either. To me, this isn't rooted in Ty selfishly wanting Livvy back. On the contrary, I feel like Ty sees it this way because Livvy has always been there for him, making life better. So, for Ty, what if this is his way of making Livvy's life better? After all, wouldn't being a ghost that can still see be on Earth be better than the nothingness of death? Here's another of Livvy's perspectives to compare it to:

The sun was rising, and she tried to feel its warmth - something other than its brightness. To warm herself. What she would have given to feel that wet velvet crust of the top layer of sand under her feet, to feel the cold grittiness of the sand underneath change in temperature as the warmth of her human feet soaked away. To scream herself hoarse, knowing that no one would hear over the roar of the surf. She squatted and tried with ever particle of herself to pick up a piece of beach glass. But it was a useless endeavor. She had no more effect on the world than a fragment of dream.

I believe this scene really showcases one of the two worst parts about Livvy becoming a ghost: her ability to take action. When looking at Livvy's character in the first two books it is evident that she wants to take care of people and be able to have an effect on people. In Lord of Shadows we see her say this:

"I realized something," she said. "I want to be like you, Jules. Not this second, not right now, but someday. I want to take care of people, other Shadowhunters, people who need me. I want to run an Institute."

And I do realize that Livvy can still help people and have a powerful effect on the world as a ghost, I mean she's already found useful information about the Cohort and TWP isn't even here yet. She's just not able to help people in the way I think she feels called to do. Livvy very much seems like a hands-on, people's person. As a ghost she can't be that. She can't run an Institute, she can't even pick things up. You can very much see that she feels useless in GOTSM. But I think we see the thing she struggles with the most in these excerpts:

You can see ghosts but you cannot see me. Not when I come to sit by you while you sleep. Not when I am in the movements of the shadows across the lawn, or the twitch of a curtain. You cannot hear me, even though I am speaking to you because I have things I need to tell you.

It was wonderful to see how settled in Helen and Aline were, but it was also all extremely unfair, Livvy felt. Everyone else got to come home. Mark. Helen. Even Ty would come home someday. But she would never truly be home again.

Family is the most important thing to all of the Blackthorns, it seems like they base almost all of their actions around each other. I think what tortures Livvy is being able to see this family she loves so much but never being able to interact with them again except for Ty. Never getting to be a big and little sister. It's a vital part of Livvy's life that she has lost for the time being.

I want to say this though, I think it may be easy to look at all of these scenes and immediately say that Ty is in denial about Livvy's true situation and feelings, but I don't think that is true. Look at this scene:

Ty said, "I'm so sorry, Livvy." "For what?" she said. "For doing this to you," he said.

I think Ty realizes what all Livvy is missing, for the most part. I think it also really hurts him. He just feels that what she does have is better than what she could have in death.

All of these scenes also beg this question, would Livvy feel like this if she figures out the ins and outs of being a ghost or if she could show herself to her entire family? Like, when she actually sees the power she has for good in her current state as a ghost? I ask because of this scene:

"Oh, Ty," she said. "I would have done it for you. It isn't a thing that should be done, but I would have done it anyway. And so we would be in just the same mess we're in now. Besides, I think I'm getting the hand of this ghost thing."

Conclusion: I feel like Ty may have been in denial in the beginning but I don't think he is anymore. I also think that Livvy will have an easier time as a ghost as things progress in TWP. I also feel like Livvy has the potential to be a huge force for good, a protector, in TWP and I sincerely hope that happens. However, I do think this will be a major point of tension between Ty and other characters in TWP, especially Kit. I feel that many of them, especially the older Blackthorn siblings, will want to help Livvy be released into the afterlife instead of staying as a ghost. I think the finale of the entire series will reveal the fate of Livvy: whether she can stay as a ghost, has to be released into the afterlife, or gets to come back fully human.

Edit: By not being in denial, I mean that I think Ty understands that he did wrong and regrets resurrecting Livvy. The issue is that he doesn’t regret it enough to talk to Magnus or one of his siblings to try to either release Livvy or bring her back fully. To figure out the best way forward with Livvy, is what I guess I’m trying to say. And also, while I think Livvy could be a force for good and could acclimate to being a ghost, I also think there’s just as good a chance that she could go into one of her more volatile states. This would lead to some really awful stuff happening and could even be the crux of Ty and Kit’s plot in TWP.

Also, sorry for the ridiculously long post, it felt kind of like a really poorly written essay. I hope it was coherent and that you enjoyed it though :) Here's some beautiful Kit and Ty art for the road.

Artist: @camisala01-art

[llondonfog]

No pls 😭 i hate the idea that raising Silver was a fun experiment out of curiosity to see if he could love a human or not, and that the answer still isnt clear. I hate the idea of Silver, the son of their enemy, being raised to be nothing but a soldier to serve Malleus in some poetic irony. I feel there’s love there but I’ve almost been transported into Silver’s mind where everything is melancholy and unclear. Does he matter as much as I believe he does 😭😭😭 or is it just a cruel tale of some foundling human always meant to be put somewhere else when the fairies are done with them

The thing is, is Silver capable of accepting the fact that Lilia's happiest moment is Malleus' hatching? Yeah, of course, who wouldn't. The man suffered for years, absolutely driven mad with guilt over Meleanor's death and the fear that he wouldn't be able to keep his promise and hatch the one thing that remained of her, the proof of her existence and love. He had to hatch Malleus, because Meleanor believed that he could, that he somehow carried enough love in those tired, aching, and emptied bones, a love that she saw in him when he couldn't even believe it of himself. If he couldn't, it would be one more insult to her name, a failure yet again, a last betrayal of her trust that he couldn't afford and wouldn't survive.

So that weeping? He's so damn dizzy with relief and love and affection for this silly creature inside that's a symbol of the love of the most important people in his life, how could one react in any other way? How fragile and vulnerable, to know that the happiest moment in Lilia's life is to realize after hundreds of years, he was capable of that love all along.

And Silver sees this— he sees the lengths that Lilia went to in order to hatch Malleus, the horrible abuse he stoically suffered from the Senate, the massive disrespect for all that he had lost and sacrificed. Of course he'd accept that this is Lilia's pivotal moment, the bittersweet reward for centuries of despair.

But on the other hand, Silver; a boy who has lost equally, if not more. He's been cast out of his own time, four hundred years into the future, where everyone and anyone who might have known him or his family (save for Lilia) has been long since dead, the kingdom he might have ruled long crumbled to dust. Is it even a footnote in the history textbook he reads? Is there any mention of the Knight of Dawn, of Princess Leia? Anything at all besides the ring in his hand and Lilia's memories to prove that they existed, that they were real, that they loved and wanted him as much as Meleanor had loved Malleus?

All he has, all he's known, is Lilia. Lilia, who found him, who woke him from the spell as the one fated to truly love him. Lilia who thought of killing him upon learning who had sired him, Lilia who raised him to be a guard, to serve those his father once stood against. Lilia who wondered if he could ever love a human, a question that I agree hasn't fully been answered (or acknowledged by Lilia himself) if we are to associate the fact Silver still bears the effects of the sleeping curse with the belief that either Lilia hasn't called him his son and confessed his love, or if Silver still struggles with self-love himself (and we can get into a whole debate over his self-worth and his view as a sacrificial tool, that's an endless discussion).

Lilia . . . whose happiest moment has nothing to do with the boy who calls himself Lilia's one and only son.

And regardless of how I fully understand why Malleus' hatching is that moment, it's still so fucking sad to me.

Your whole life is centered around this one person whom you love more than anyone else— your short, human life— and in reality, you didn't even feature in that person's dream. We only saw Silver's past due to the blot, memories that were completely out of order and not in sync with Lilia's true dream at all.

And Silver will never harbor resentment over this, he will always place his family and loved ones first, but damn it, I can be a little miserable about it. All that trauma we went through with the last update, and now we learn that finding Silver and learning to love the son of his greatest enemy (the son of the person that killed Meleanor!) wasn't Lilia's happiest moment?

Was it just for the poetic irony? I really hope not. I really hope that TWST gives the conversation that Lilia and Silver need to have the due gravity it deserves, because Lilia needs, whether Silver realizes it or not, to look that boy in the eye and tell him that he loves him, he's always been his son, and no matter what their pasts may show, he's been Silver Vanrouge all along.