#the terrifying ordeal of being known

[deoxy-ribonucleic-acid]

The Terrifing Ordeal of Being Known:

Someone hands you your favourite flower. You have never shared it before.

Your classmate answers your question the moment you raise your hand, faster that your teacher sees your and faster than you can ask.

A dog gets near you and makes you pet him. ‘Strange’ the owner says ‘it usually is rude to others’. You try not to question the only good part of the day

[casually-eat-my-soul]

Stiles Stilinski and Claudia Stilinski are such an interesting dynamic. Only one person commented on the fact that they wanted to hear about this, but that’s permission to me, so yall have to suffer with me. It’s been awhile since I’ve watched teen wolf so my take may be off, please no hate but I’m open to discussion.

Claudia Stilinski is such an interesting character to me. We know virtually nothing about except how she, especially her death and the way she died affects the Stiles and the sheriff.

Stiles watched her die, the sheriff didn’t. Stiles stayed beside her, the sheriff was at work. Both undergo guilt because of this. This is the exact moment when stiles has to grow up - it fundamentally changed who stiles is as a character, it also defines him in certain moment. To me both characters try and keep their connect to Claudia in anyway they can. This is made apparent with the jeep. That’s Claudia car, stiles refuses to leave it even though it’s unreliable. This could reflect stiles relationship or his idea of his relationship with his mother is unreliable. The sheriff connects to his wife via stiles. Stiles real name - his mother gave it to him, he had the nickname mischief but changed to stiles, I wonder why?? Maybe after his mother died. But they can’t in the end, they can’t let go over her but they can’t hold onto her.

Stiles has a lot of trauma response from this moment. He pretends he’s fine even when he’s not, this is a learned response. He obsessively takes care of his dad, wanting to hold onto the last parent in his life. It also feels like a way to hold onto his mother via taking care of his dad. Literally every way that that stiles acts after his mom’s death is becuase of her death. The way that he loves people after his moms death is an effect of the last months of his mothers life and her death. He cares to a point of obsession (one of the reason I ship sterek, I think they��d balance each other out or just be able to understand each other darkness)

His mother’s disease would have taken precedents over everything else. And even after she died, his fathers feeling would have been more important. The Stilinski’s don’t talk about their feelings, they don’t talk about the times when they hurt each other. It’s almost like they can’t, that there is a disconnect. To me this says that Claudia was the emotional support for both of the Stilinski’s men. Don’t get me wrong, this is not hate on the sheriff. He does try to connect to stiles - they do talk each other about other things in their lives.

In a way I can understand Stiles. My father is a cop. The change in shifts and odd hours would mean that sometimes I wouldn’t see my father for days. Add on the fact that He is the Sheriff, whom the show makes it clear take extra shifts - stiles would be alone a lot. To me this means that his mother was his main source of paternal affection. This was further cemented for me when stiles tells his father “mom would have believed me”

When she dies it almost makes it seem that his care was transferred onto Scott. In most cases this would make Melissa a surrogate mother but in the show it doesn’t feel like that to me. Stiles is extremely independent, when his dad was away at work he would take care of his mother, even after her assaulting him. This would fundamentally change the way he interacts with adults, parents, specifically mothers. So I don’t see him grasping onto Melissa as a mother figure.

But also the way he interacts with Melissa, on one hand he’s almost her equal. He takes care of Scott almost as much as Melissa herself does. In a way their interactions feel like two parents talking to each other. On the other hand, it is clear that Melissa take care of him like he’s her son. But to me the only time when stiles reacts to her authority is when she’s mad, sometimes not even than. And the one time when he’s been possessed he calls her mom.

But also it’s made clear that the Stilinski’s don’t talk about Claudia - like at all. In the first season when the sheriff is drunk he says “I miss your mother”. The absolute shock on stiles face when he says that is so visceral. Claudia lingers over the household, not in a way that is a happy memory. she haunts it. After she dies stiles takes her place. The whole scene “how can I take care of you if I don’t know everything about you / I’m the dad, your the son” Stiles takes care of his dad obsessively, in a way that upsets the the balance of a child/parent relationship.

This is further made clear with the hints that the sheriff got major drunk after Claudia died. And that he threw himself into work once he got sober. Stiles effectively took over the household, putting him in the roles of his mother. We also see how the sheriff reacts to this because Stiles plays both the role of his wife and his son, not reaching the expectation for either. Stiles can never be his mother and yet he is her carbon copy. He wants to be her but all doesn’t at all. This dichotomy between the idea of stiles and the idea of Claudia means that she will always be present in the home. The first parent you will see in stiles face is Claudia. She haunts the narrative via her ghost but also via Stiles.

Especially in season three with the nogitsune, especially when it tricked everyone into believing that he’s dieing the same way his mother did. This is the final act of stiles becoming Claudia. The ghost of his mother has never been as prevalent but in this moment. You cannot tell me that his didn’t absolutely destroy the Stilinski households for months, even after they figured out that it was just a trick. To me this was one of the worst tricks played on stiles, because besides losing his friend this is what caused the Most devastation to him and his father. When he gets the MRI done this is when we see the change between stiles and the nogitsune. The demon has enough power to take over even for a few seconds because of this.

Being his mom especially in this connection is what devastates stiles the most. The nogitsune was in stiles head, he knows what would hurt him the most and what stiles fears the most.

Idk this is just my opinion and take.

[slotmachines-fearofgod]

JUST FOUND OUT MY SIBLING HAS BEEN READING MY FANFIC FOR MONTHS AND NEITHER OF US KNEW

[b100k]

good evening

I am about to write my first fic that i will ever publish

this post is so I am held accountable and actually finish it

it's a good omens fic set after season 1 where aziraphale and crowley get bored and decide to become teachers for a bit

hijinks ensue

idk how long it will be

[pb-dot]

The "peebs probably shouldn't be on Tinder for his own mental health and well-being's sake"-saga continues. This time with an observation. I don't know if it's a local thing or what, but people around me use Tinder kind of weird. Very few people use their bios, and the few that do basically only do it to list their requirements or what kind of a person they're looking for. This seems strange to me because the whole idea and appeal of Tinder is for the quick, snappy sorting of people into yes and no piles. It would then follow that the best way to find someone you're interested in would be to write a little bit about yourself and then just not choose the people who seem to not be your type. You have to put a small slice of vulnerability out there, the terrifying ordeal of being known and all that, but so would everyone else.

But, it would seem, this is not a common sentiment in my neck of the woods. Tinder feels more like a social media than a dating app, in that it's common to project this unassailable, effortlessly perfect persona. This isn't you looking for a genuine connection or even a quick hookup, this is projecting Personal Branding for some godforsaken reason, and if you happen to get a partner out of it all the better.

I will admit my Tinder experience is colored by not getting all that many matches. I do not believe myself to be a particularly attractive man by local standards, but even accounting for that, Tinder just seems like a bad experience. Doesn't it feel desperately lonely? To be on an app ostensibly about forging connections between strangers, and everyone pretends like they're too good to be on there? Everyone presenting themselves like prospective employers with an opening in their internship program?

I will admit I am generalizing a bit here to get my point across. This isn't everyone on Tinder, even in my area. In fact, the reason I'm still on there is for the people who chose to be on Tinder despite the culture above, and those brave enough to offer up at least a glimpse of their thoughts and feelings in the hope that it'll catch the eye of a kindred soul.

In closing, I also feel like I'm being a bit harsh in my harping on other people's bios. I will concede the point that writing a good self-summary is hard, especially under the constraints placed on you by user attention span and the various design decisions Tinder has implemented to foster the very mentality I've described in paragraphs above. It's hard, but I never blame anyone for trying, and I hope I never will. What I blame people for is giving up entirely and posting the social media equivalent of a Live Laugh Love sign.

[autumnday19]

Aa

[persephones-flower-garden]

When you remember you have a fic that you haven’t updated in like, over a month that for some reason keeps getting kudos so ur just haunted by it when u get the notifications.

The mortifying feeling of knowing people have read your writing and it makes you feel like the flesh is melting from your bones

That’s probably just what it feels like to be perceived by other people

[just-a-lil-critter]

More married/domestic bkdk because Hori is fucking tap dancing on my last string-

Just imagine Bakugo manhandling Izuku and literally physically blasting him to where the villian is escaping like "go fetch I'm done with this small fry"

And the reverse works too where Katsuki will toss a loaded (so sweaty, Kacchan ew) gauntlet in Izuku's general direction mid battle so he can Howitzer the villian into kingdom come as if he's done it loads before while the media lose their goddamn minds like how the fuck do they do that Deku didn't even say anything how did Dynamight know??!

[howtheworldcouldb]

Just saw an ad for an “ask me about my blorbo!” keychain which is so wild to me because I would rather die than have people I know in real life know that I know what a blorbo is. I hope they sell hundreds.

[archonfurina]

I came out to several people today bc they were talking about how they dislike the cancel culture around Rowling and I was like I'm not gonna sit here and listen to this without saying anything

And I'm making this post to remind myself I had every right to say something since it was brought up in the group. And I don't have to feel regret and embarrassment just because people know something about me now.

[quinnreadsjjba]

Me, minding my own business at the grocery store, not expecting to be recognized in public

[chaoticfandomthot]

I want to be known but also how dare you correctly predict my thoughts based on the mini expressions i am making and trying to cover up

[usthewaywardclouds-blog]

Will they miss me?

[thirteendaysintaunton]

ah yes the two most terrifying parts about posting your content online: "oh no what if nobody sees what I made!" and "oh no what if someone sees what I made!"

[ferociouslycreativemystery]

The funny thing about writing is that posting it for strangers on the internet to read doesn't faze me at all - they're free to read and engage (or not) to their hearts' content and even make up their own nebulous image of the writer however they please.

Not only does it not bother me, it intrigues me! Like tell me who you would imagine could create somehting like this; hold up a mirror to me that I see parts of myself I've never known before!

But I can't stand the thought of showing some of my writing to people who already know me, because the prospect of them reading it and making inferences about me that I didn't volountarily reveal absolutely petrifies me 😅

[sounds-mythic-im-in]

I've been cooped up inside doing art homework all day and my brain had stopped working. my mum told me to go into the garden and climb a tree (something I do when I'm stressed).

five minutes later I've come back inside after climbing a tree and I am indeed feeling so much better.

'the terrifying ordeal of being known' is cool and all but what if I like being known??