#sometimes things here just dont vibe with me
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having a dni is alright but I feel like ppl will just ignore it, it's way more effective to just repel the ppl u don't want to associate with by being everything they hate
#99.txt#this is how i have transphobes stay away from me. i dont have to say dni cos they dont wanna come to my corner in the first placr#hopefuply this also works for attracting cool ppl to my blog#i hope to be around non judgemental ppl mostly. i try to be non judgemental#which i think i mostly am but ofc everyone needs work#may not show as much online cos i come here to bitch about stuff sighsjfjs#but i really want to be like that. unfortunately clashes with my weird psychological tick of always needing an enemy#i dont know why im like that.... but maybe i only judge my enemy but not most ppl#i mean ofc sometimes you have to judge someone or else u will be walked all over#but just like. for harmless stuff#also its weird wheh ppl follow me who have dnis that apply to me#how am i supposed to n i when you i'd in the first place. its almost as if the thing is pointless#also if i rly dont like someones vibe ill just block#i actually block quite easily but luckily i dont have to do it very often cos i dont usually have shitheads coming around me
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hey for no reason. if Raven was a car,, what type and colour of car do you think she would be…?
I had to delete a whole paragraph cuz in the midst of my delusions I thought you were asking what kind of car she would be (my answer was Aston Martin DB5 - dont judge I really love that car since I was a kid okay and I think she'll look cool as hell as one - and Porsche 914/6 shade 1110)
The simplest answers are black, silver and dark blue
I love really shiny coatings BUT personally I think for Raven her coating might lean more towards matte finish (look up satin black cellulose paint)
There are wayyyyy too many silver shade out there but lemme tell ya nothing beats a good ol bright silver metallic paint, I don't think the ones that are leaning towards pearl shades would suit her (slightly yellowish - look up Malaysia's Civic and BR-V in Platinum White Pearl Colour)
This one is oddly specific (and can you imagine I know this brand bcuz years ago Jeffrey Star's car paint job used one of these brands) but like cyborg blue or blue demon looks so hot (yay sparkles!!)
If we wanna talk about sparkles and fancy schmancy (but less durability) stuff it'd be vinyl wrap....like the gradients one ooooooo I think Raven would look so good with purple to blue matte kind OR OR the black to blue on the hood...
#anon u activated my monkey brain#its like a niche topic im too excited for esp considering idk anything about cars#i just like them based on vibes and builds (and by builds i dont mean horse engines and shit i mean by how the car look)#sometimes i go into the rabbit hole of like car vinyl/metallic flake instalment videos...bcuz its so satisfying#the issue with vinyl wrap is half the ones you see looks really cool on photo but kinda embarassing irl#idk why HAHA maybe cuz it's very...whats the word? like i guess cuz i only ever see those really extravagant bright colors ones on +#cars own by rich spoiled kids - so i associate negativity to it - but i gotto respect the ones who install them those look difficult#i think really tho Raven is either a black/silver (the lowkey vibes) or sparkly gradient (the confident vibes)#im a big fan of porsche bugatti and jaguar cars#all of which will remain as a daydream bcuz even if i sell off my house and use my student loans i cant buy the ones that I like#which are classic ones#god Jaguar supercar 1970 IS SO HOT imma- *faint*#I have a thing for round rimmed head lights#frankly this car hobby thing is bcuz of my dad cuz he used to have so many antique cars MAGAZINE (not cars cuz we broke here) around#and baby gomz loved reading them#still do#idk i can afford renting cool cars so I could do that in the future LMAO#you can watch me project this into NikRaven or PriceRaven sugar au#ask response#gomz niche rambles#which is surprisingly. cars.#[oc]Raven#cod oc#my oc
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Pokemon ive heard of em
#my art#been thinking abt this au for weeks since i talked abt teams w my friend#I was gonna draw them with their partner pokemon but i realized 1. Idk how to draw big cats and 2. Idk how to draw birds#But what i do know how to draw is blobs (with or without hair) so the choice was obvious from their respective teams#Neither of their outfits are themed after their respective partners either btw. I didnt know what do do for kris#so i just went w a dancing pokemon to base it off of the way some trainer classes have pokemon motifs like models w liepard coats#Dominos on the other hand. Well. You know .#Anyway! Some thoughts#The region would be similar to sinnoh re: lots of folklore and ruins all over the place. Similar air of mystique#Theyd both be trainers you meet on your journey that help you out at certain points . double battle random teamup style#Kris would be someone who gives u an hm/helps you out w roadblocks in the gym challenge/is also looking into the Evil Team of the region#And joins u in investigations/teams up w you to fight them sometimes. The ‘definitely not the champion’ trainer of the region (she is ofc)#Dmn on the other hand shows up when ur looking into ruins/old legends/etc. hes very obviously suspicious but does help u sometimes so w/e#Sometimes asks you philosophical questions u can answer yes/no to out of the blue . Also gives u dark glasses#Never shows up when anyone else plot relevant is around. Thered be a moment where kris/a rival/someone shows up and is like who u talking 2#And u turn around and hes gone . Maybe multiple of these moments#Obvi when the time comes to raid the evil hideout hes one of their admins or whatever . Big shocker#Dialogue option where u can say I Knew It or How Could You (answers ‘i should hope so i was being super obvious’/‘are you fucking stupid’)#Maybe a branching path depending on ur answers to his q’s he can betray the badguys at the end or not. Regardless he fucks off after u win#Everythings cleared up u go to the elite four and gasp kris is champion (new outfit ((they both get second outfits for their reveals))#And shes like i helped u out so much bc i hate my fucking job and i rly wanted someone strong enough to beat me 2 show up so i can QUIT#and GO HOME bc id feel bad just leaving when shits still fucked (but obvi much nicer bc this is kris shes very polite)#But shes not gonna throw the match so dont worry etcetc. u beat her yippee! Shes like thank GOD and congratulates you and its all very nice#Shes proud of you wow look how far youve come . Here record your pokemon in the special thing ok thanks goodbye forever#And u never see her again 💞 even if u rechallenge the elite4 shes gone. In this multiverse she doesnt show up in any of those postgame#Battle facilities shes GONE. IM FREEEE WORST EXPERIENCE OF MY FUCKING LIFEEEEE and all that . Good for her#Dominos (if u got him to betray his friends with the power of yesno questions) shows up in the postgame content both in battle facilities +#Those postquests where u catch legendaries and shit . villain hanging out like its normal vibes. He shows no remorse#Scions would be gym leaders ig.Idk if i want twins to be leaders or protags/oblig genderswap rival option. I think that could be fun#ffxiv
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ok kind of an insane ask so feel free to ignore but would you be able to translate "友達バリア" by deco*27? i can't find any translations online and i wanna see if i'm right about the song kind of fitting the matsus... it's also a banger imo
- vocamatsu anon
omg.... tbh i have a feeling deco will make a video for this one which means we'll get an official english translation of it, rendering this completely redundant, but i'm really cheesed to have been asked, so i gave it a shot for you anyways <3
youtube
Friend-zoned, love fire, sparks flying HIBANA We're ready, set to lock horns, love's ultimate showdown I'm outmatched- but it's not over yet! I won't let this end! With a dazzling, never-give-up attitude, I'll break through your defenses!
The despair of never getting anything more of this Your behavior, nor what's going on in your head- I can't read it at all! I can't help but envy the kindness you radiate Omnidirectional compatibility- it's just not for me
Carefully-picked down-played words The outcome: A bloody heart True feelings double-crossed by embarrassment; how frustrating, I'm changing sides But that won't fill up my heart What I want is nothing more than to be by your side If you've got something to say, then say it- 'til I defeat you, that is! 3, 2, 1!
Friend-zoned, love fire, sparks flying HIBANA We're ready, set to lock horns, love's ultimate showdown I'm outmatched- but it's not over yet! I won't let this end! With a dazzling, never-give-up attitude, I'll break through your defenses!
I want you to like me! I want you to like me! Friend-zoned, love fire, hey, say "I give up"! With a dazzling, never-give-up attitude, I'll break through your defenses!
Fun things, good feelings- without you, they have no taste at all Sadness, jealousy- if they're cuz of you, then I don't mind them Let's throw down, bro! Better to regret doing it, than not doing it at all! A feeling like I won't need any special moves, YEAH I'm sure everything will be OKAY With an endless supply of love, you're undefeated, AYE Play dead, BYE BYE I'll be the one to throw the first punch
Friend-zoned, love fire, sparks flying HIBANA We're ready, set to lock horns, love's ultimate showdown The lonely and timid me is already no more! With a dazzling, blazing flair, I'll burn through your defenses!
Do you like me yet? Do you like me yet? Friend-zoned, love fire, now, let's immerse ourselves in love! With a dazzling, blazing flair, a never-ending HAO sweetener battle!
Do you like me yet? Do you like me yet? Friend-zoned, love fire, now, let's immerse ourselves in love! With a dazzling, blazing flair, a never-ending HAO sweetener battle!
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my notes:
my overall interpretation of this song is "I'm trying to break through the friend zone (friendship barrier) so that you like me instead of thinking of me as a friend", so any vagueness in translation went in that direction
The use of "lock horns" in the official translation snippet + the HAO motifs give me the mental image of like, a hand-to-hand kung fu battle, so I leaned towards that imagery whenever there was vagueness (as opposed to like, a military campaign, for example)
deco's official english translations tend to be very liberal, so i tried to keep my translation a little more literal
#translation#i dont really like the use of 'friend-zoned' for the official translation of this#in general deco's english translations seem to favor localizing over keeping original meaning which i usually support wholeheartedly#but i feel like their en localizations sometimes lack a colloquial understanding of how these terms come across to english speakers#like the Vibe. i dont know if they grasp the Vibe#like on the surface 'friend-zone' seems like a reasonable localization for this concept#(Actually why is the localization the adjective form? shouldnt it be the noun? tomodachi barrier = friend zone? well anyways)#term for when you can't advance a platonic relationship to a romantic one + the term 'zone' is often used in fighting and battles#but colloquially i feel like this term has more of an Incel Connotation#due to its use being most popularized among men who see women as a prize they can win if they put enough effort in#+ its usage furthering the underlying expectation that women should date a man because he likes her regardless of how She feels abt it#of coures i know this is not the literal definition but again. the colloquialism. the Vibe. i really value the Vibe in localization#it gives off more of a pathetic desperate entitled vibe than a determined lonely feisty vibe which is what i personally got from the song#but vibes are subjective of course and dependent on one's personal experience#and who knows maybe that IS what deco's going for. i may very well be missing some japanese colloquialism as well#anyways as to if this fits the matsus.... well. they dont really have any friends in the first place do they#except totoko who repeatedly and easily beats them in hand-to-hand combat#i guess it could be atsutodo if you were full of whimsy#(suddenly coming back into the room) BY THE WAY I HATE HAO#I THINK HE'S TRYING TO DO THE THING WHERE HE JUST MAKES UP WORDS/MEANINGS BECAUSE IT'S THE KANJI IN SUKI#IT'S JUST AN EXTREMELY COMMON CHINESE WORD AND HE'S USING IT IN WAYS THAT SOUND SO DUMB AND WEIRRDDDDDDDDD#“a never ending HAO sweetener battle” <- WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE HAO HAPPEN? DONT PISS ME OFF#IM LIKE PRETTY SURE HIS TRANSLATOR IS EN/CN/JP TRILLINGUAL TOO SO WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE HERE#anyways thank you for the ask. mwah. i hope u enjoy this
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i get a little sad sometimes bc i feel like i'm always such a secondary friend to everyone i've ever come across and it is hard not to be jealous every so often </3
#i was on a good streak sorry to ruin it with my sad vibes again lol but#like even on here sometimes im so jealous of peoples close friendships sobsob#or like when people get gifted things by their moots#i just wish that were me ! and that people thought about me bc genuinely i feel so unimportant sometimes#anyway. idk im sorry to vent hopefully this is not taken in any way bc i dont mean for it to!#but today was not a good day so im feeling a little down rn but the good news is there is always tomorrow <3
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i dont have the right kind of mental illness for BBC merlin to actually make this but in my head there's an animatic of hamiltons "satisfied" involving merlin, arthur, and gwen that Haunts Me
#it haunt me#im thinking bout it again cause i got tunes on shuffle and satisfied came on#i love this fucking song#gwen is fucking. eliza.#the trouble is with merlin and arthur because like. it would make sense to have merlin be angeliica bc unrequited love but also not at all#it would be friends not sisters here but like like like#cause angelicas role better suits arthur for the song w/ being 1st born noble but likeeeeeeeeee. him n gwen aren't like.#the way hamilton talks 2 angelica is very merlin 2 arthur I think. could be other way but works best as merlin = hamilton kinda#the goal is fucking. argwen marriage merlin being depressed Just Like Canon Lads#i have like. parts of the song storyboarded in my head#the only thing i can think of is like. fucking. id be switching povs a bunch during the song to make it make sense#like uhh. arthur would be 1st and 2nd reasons. merlin would be 3rd reason.#it would start as merlin switch to arthur when they start talking then back to merlin for 3rd reason#which is WEIRD but thats the only way it would make sense I feel like????????????????????????????????????????/#with merlin its like. idk 1st and 2nd reasons don't work#ive considered doing fuckiing uhh#morgana as angelica and arthur as eliza and mmerlin as hamilton#that WOULD work best but also doesnt quite have vibes I want. i am more of a morgwen girlie idc about mergana#idk the ship names lmao#ALSO arthur would not mak e a good eliza. he is not all sweet and demure and whatever the fuck. so like#i cant win. i cant win but it haunts me sometimes it would be soooooooooooooooooooo#the love triangle drama. it lives in my head i had this idea like a fucking YEAR ago it Haunts Meeeeeeeeeee I can't escape animatic brainro#bbc merlin#i dont even usually post about my merlin bullshit thoughts#but im pullin an all nighter nad also ive lost my sanity I think#its like sinew sinewy sinewy. slipping. strerciing. ougghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#i will now depart tumblr again for multiple weeks. mwah#lilac post
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eepy
With and without a filter lol
#ok here it is lol#dan vs#this is the new thing i been on for a few weeks lol#anyway i just liked my sketch so much that i had to color it and make it pretty#sleepy dan and mr mumbles#mr mumbles is just like purrin like an engine rn#also slight headcanons i guess#dan just gives off such strong transmasc vibes that i have to remind myself that its not canon lol#and even tho hes not drawn with scars i just know he'd be covered in them he gets hurt like so much yk#i actually forgot to give him a lip scar which i like to do with characters sometimes#anyway#i was gonna put a kinda blueish filter to make it look more like night but i didn't find one i liked so went with the dark edge one#me#my posts#my arts#dan mandel#dan vs mr mumbles#dan vs revival#i dont remember what else i was gonna say#i mean i could tag something else but#no i shan't#lol
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this entire Music Taste debate thing re:rap is getting annoying really fast. Im not USian enough for this.
#tho like. ''ohhhh i dont like it its too violent'' this argument is lame as shit. youre weak lmao. coming from a funk enjoyer#its just annoying as fuck how are always supposed to care about the us and everything about us culture all the time#i listen to rap. i dont listen to us rap however.#i literally spent an entire week last month going thru historical archives of brazilian rap n shit#which is MY culture i guess#n im not even trying to tote my metaphorical horn or anything. i like music history. and the story of br hiphop ties to br funk n SAMBA!#and its really cool! i like a bunch of them. i know the history of rap in my country and how THAT ties to racism and shit#but noooooo if i dont listen to List of 15 artists whether you want to or not youre racist#if youre going to make recommendations at least make them appealing? lmao. not guilt trippy!!!!#i dont listen to rap in english very often because i cant process english that fast. skill issue time. the vibes from the songs are cool!#but its just not my go to music!!!! if i want to listen to hiphop ill just grab my trusty Brazilian oldies#i know dj marlboro got me.#i listen to a lot of genres. from us country to caipira raiz to japanese grindcore. i enjoy a buncha indian songs even. the scales FUCK#idk#i know this is the American Racism website but can't i just enjoy my countries shit in peace. if i don't listen to yours in racist now????#i dont even got anything against it. in fact i like it. but why do i have to listen to (insert large unfiltered list here) of yours Or Else#i know you wont listen to mine if i recommend it???? like none of it.#a lot of it feels like virtue signaling lol listen to this or youre racist watch this or youre racist#and you do not want to be a bad person do you?????#sometimes just understanding why things are the way they are is enough. you dont need to enjoy everything. thats ok. if hiphop isnt for you#then thats fine#just like. stfu. stay on your lane when people who know more about it than you are talking about it#it isn't that hard#one just needs to acknowledge things. hiphop and jazz and blues are extremely important to modern music and culture#but not everybody likes it. and thats fine. the same way a lot of people dont like white girl breakup song number 469. thats also fine#and like. i listen to hiphop! not my go to but i like it. blues is also nice vibes sometimes. but idk the artists that deep.#as a foreigner thats fine ig#but a lot if those posts sound guilt trippy as fuck for the a lot of us arent from your country 👍
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THE GUY THE GUY
#I CANT BELIVE I FORGOT TO POST HIM HERE#BUT YES THIS WAS MY CHRISMAS PROJECT#fanart#art#dhmis yellow guy#dhmis art#dont hug me im scared#dont hug me#dhmis fanart#dhmis#puppet#yellow guy#yellow guy puppet#HE IS MY FAVOURITE THING#HE JUST LIVES IN MY ROOM NOW ITS GREAT#WOULD HIGHLY RECOMMEND#I CAN MMAKE HIM BE SILLY#HE JUST VIBES WITH ME#DOES MY MATHS SOMETIMES#still has no socks but i'm working on it
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Subtle shape language is always cool but i love when its pushed to stupidly obvious degrees. It looks GOOD its fun i love it
#floyd.txt#an artist here a while ago had a thing on it...tomatomato i think...? saved forever#it is weird though. i ultimately like playing eith shales but there is the part of like#square means this personality or triangle means this personality . i ultimately disregard that#its a little stupit...i just go with vibes..if it aligns with what people say sometimes then so be it.#i just like shapes... yayyyy#YAYYYY#EDIT. tomatatoro was the artist#i do like stephen silvers stuff too. the more i look the more i realize he may have influenced me a little.#i dont think about inspiration as much anymore it just Happens as it does.
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it sounds so obvious now, but im pretty sure my physical problems rn can all be traced back to the fact that my brain and body has been in a constant hypervigilance and cortisol overload for 3 months straight. the dizziness, the blackouts, the acne, the constant nausea, the giant eyebags and sudden crows feet ?? Like yeah, no shit thats what happens when ur every waking hour is the equivalent of that camille preaker crying gif
#i know the fact that i faint every couple of days and go a little blind sometimes should be priority here#but it REALLY pisses me off how much and how quickly this (?) stress is aging me#id still like to look good even if i feel like shit. sorry#the worst thing is that im doing everything in my power to do all the right things#but since i dont actually KNOW why having sex affected me in such a weird way. I cant really take the proper steps to get over it#like.. i can treat the symptoms best i can but as far as the root of it all. i have no idea whats actually wrong or how to fix it#in some senses it seems pretty cut and dry- i cant remember my childhood. i was neglected. i have a bunch of issues#i have sex for the first time. i stop functioning. i go into a depressive episode. i cant sleep.eat.be around people#i feel paralyzed by fear at the most random of times and have to hide in a small space to feel safe again. i cry so much i pop an eye vesse#like CLEARLY something is wrong. and just in an objective sense it sounds like something bad happened a long time ago associated with sex#however ! life is more complicated than that and i think its unhelpful to make assumptions (yes im aware i might also be in denial lol)#i already know i have trauma so its not weird for me to exhibit trauma responses. and maybe that was triggered bc i wasnt ready to have sex#it doesnt have to have a sinister explanation. it might just be as simple as me not vibing with the guy and regretting it later#idk. obviously my reaction to it is violently out of proportion. but i might just be a sensitive person !#does that sound silly or reasonable? reading it back i still kinda wonder if its just the denial speaking but idk!#i really really wish i just knew what was wrong so that i could actually start to move on#i know im bumming u guys out talking about it but i cant exactly talk to my family and im trying to not unload everything onto my friends :#bc as supportive and wonderful as they are i can tell they feel bad and have no idea what to say#which is fair enough bc its a really weird situation! so i dont want to burden them more than what i have to for my own sanity#tw#?#diary entries
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ppl who like making friends solely with one-note cardboard boxes who will hang out with them when it's convenient and never open up about who they are as people and what their lives are like dni
#the salt just caught up with me and now im pissed#hi welcome to what i like to call a friendly reminder that hanging out with someone just because its convenient is kind of shitty#and a less friendly reminder that talking about yourself to connect with people is an autistic trait#and an even less friendly reminder that not telling someone if theyve done you wrong and then proceeding to blow up on them is ALSO SHITTY#ESPECIALLY. WHEN. THEY THINK. YOU'RE ON GOOD TERMS. BECAUSE YOU ACTED LIKE IT AND THEY CAN'T READ YOU.#IM REALLY FUCKING MAD#I THINK I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE.#the people who actually somewhat knew me and hung out with me and were on good terms with me think the same#so like BLEH MYEH :PPPPPPPPP#like okay youre entitled to your opinions but sometimes you need to keep those to yourself#did u see me insulting u to ur face#nope i have not done even once#and thats on getting better communication skills instead of lashing out at someone for trying to fit in with your own vibes#like yeah oversharing is my deal. anybody who sees me here knows that#i bond by being open with people about who i am and what i like in the hopes that theyll do the same#if u think im just around for gaming and making silly jokes u would be wrong.#but of course nobody told me people weren't there to bond like that which in my opinion shouldnt be on me#and once again i am outcasted over something honestly kind of fucking stupid#some of the jokes i made were stupid yes but thats solely because i severely misjudged the vibes#and checks notes oh yeah nobody pulled me up for it even once.#okay so let me get this straight you barely know me and have been making assumptions about me since day one#pretty much let me believe you liked me for two whole weeks instead of asking me about things or cutting me off#and im the one who gets treated like im in the wrong? okay#this miscommunication was not my fault in the slightest and i KNOW that#if you hadve just talked to me things would be fine but theyre NOT.#if you hadve just looked at my gosh darn profile and seen im the queerest fucker around making gay and homophobic type jokes maybe you woul#have had half the mind to ask me if i could stop making those jokes!!!!!!!!!#i am not transphobic!!!!!!! I AM TRANS!! I WAS MAKING A MOCKERY OF SOME TRANSPHOBIC CULTURE I HATE!!!!#i mightve vented on main ONE TIME under the guise of a silly joke but oh my god guess what?? that was an attempt to see if anybody related.#you never liked me in the first place dont lie to yourself
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okay personal rant incoming i just need to get it off my chest, not expecting a reply or anything
one of my friends told me a couple of days ago that basically she feels like ive been sort of negative in the way i interact w her, and that she feels like i talk down to her. and ive thought about it so much and i feel like shit about it.
but ive also just realized that the both of us distanced a bit from each other and she did it bc of that and ive done it bc ive felt sort of the same from her? but i just sort of put it off as our vibes being different and that we just needed a bit of space from each other cause she was sort of hurting my feelings w things she said and i felt like i became the butt of every single joke?
so i think maybe we're both more sensitive than we've, like, understood each other as, and therefore the tone has become bad. and im definitely not taking away from my part of it im so sad that ive made her feel like that i hate that ive made her feel like that.
so idk if im gonna like try and talk to her again about it, cause she sort of sprung it on me and i just apologized like several times over cause ofc. but i always need like 72 hours to think about things to know what i feel and to understand, so now ik how i feel about it more i think, and understand maybe a bit why it has become like it has?
cause ik she brought it up to make it better and i feel like it won't be better if i don't speak my mind as well? but at the same time i don't want her to think im just trying to shed the blame and make her feel like im not taking responsibility for how she's felt.
it's also just so messy and awkward cause we live together and idk ive been depressed as shit lately so a part of what she said just felt like she was talking about me being negative in general as a person and it's just like, i understand but im also just doing my best and trying to put food in my body im sorry that there's been a negative vibe to me, the other stuff i feel bad about but just my energy like being low and not having it in me to joke around i feel like i shouldn't have to apologize for idk
#i hate that ive hurt her but she also brought up several examples that i would have never thought of as that serious#like one example was a couple of us tht live together watched kong x godzilla at home and i joined after like 15-20min and started joking a#bit about the movie (cause its a ridiculous fucking movie) and then the majority of us just continued joking throughout the movie like you#do w friends when youre just watching a movie for fun#and she felt it was disrespectful ig of me cause she was like excited to watch it#and i mean#i get that its in combination with other things and the general tone in our friendship#but also to me that is just so a non thing?#like i did not realize she was that sensitive#not that theres anything wrong w being sensitive#but its just been a miscommunication#and its also not like she hasnt joined when a couple of our friends and i have been watching movies that i really wanted to show them#and started commenting on like how the movie is made or things that dont make sense about it#and ive just pushed that aside cause sometimes the vibe just doesn't match and its just a movie#idk#and obviously ive not put everything shes said and everything ive felt and so on here in the post#but if anyone reads all this and had opinions/advice feel free to comment
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#here's some of the classics on that list i have beef with btw:#i have tried to read A Confederacy of Dunces several times and it's funny but it's also so cringe and Ignatius is so obnoxious#that i find it too difficult to finish like i just feel depressed and bad for everybody around him too much#i tried reading Infinite Jest like a decade ago and i got like 200 pages in and i remember thinking it felt like#such a slog the entire time because he's just so gd wordy and also i stopped liking DFW after i heard the abuse allegations against him#frankenstein i didnt read that long ago but i just remember finding it so boring for some reason?? i feel i might need to read it again#dracula ngl i feel like im cheating a bit saying ive completely read it because i loved the beginning and then HATED so much of the rest#the characters were just so boring and melodramatic hahaha i just liked the part where jonathan was doing a travel diary#and trapped in the castle tbh and after that i skimmed quite a bit#i almost flipped my shit when i saw ender's game on there because I ALWAYS mix it up with ready player one by ernest cline#which i bought the audiobook of a while back and hated every minute of it i dont think its good at all#but it wasnt that so phew my faith in this list is somewhat restored#i read most of the first game of thrones book and was disappointed tbh maybe because id seen the show already#so i was like 'this feels almost exactly the same except worse?' because i'd been expecting it to give me more depth and insight#into the characters but instead it felt exactly the same and i still didnt love any of the characters enough to feel attached to them#also i am fully aware me not personally liking or vibing with a book doesnt mean it doesnt deserve to be considered great btw#but i think if youre gonna be like me and force yourself to go through a bunch of lists like this very seriously then you also need to just#let yourself be like 'yeah not for me' without feeling too bad about it sometimes too#often times i dont particularly love the classics or 'important books' but at the same time#i still feel like im getting more out of reading them than just grabbing the newest hyped up books that also dont do anything for me#maybe not in a 'wow i loved reading this' way but in like a#'i now have first-hand knowledge of this thing that is so influential / so frequently referenced'#or 'this challenged me and i feel like i did a mental/emotional workout or gave me some new food for thought'#or 'made me more aware of what gaps in my knowledge and reading skills and what my tastes are too'#sort of way...#it really just depends on what you're reading for and why and what you're hoping to get out of it a lot of the time maybe#it's like the homework i give myself to go through these lists that i also intersperse with the stuff i read more just for fun#p
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☹ ☾ ✑ — @the-hazbeens
If you want to interact with me and don’t, tell me why (X)
☹ I’m an anxious mess who’s too scared to approach people
✑ I’m a side blog and I’m worried you don’t know about my blog or don’t want to interact with a side blog
☾ I feel like I bother people
Hey, you sent me a message, thats half the battle!! and babes bothering peopl is the point of rping lol you find people you like writing with and you send them Thing after Thing and if they answer they answer and if they dont they dont! do you know how many asks i send to @burning-fcols and @nifftyandlcvely on All our rp blogs and how many they send to me? its to the point we forget we sent shit until the other posts it, and its because we Bother Each other whenever we get an idea. Send People Stuff, and if youre afraid, do it afraid. itll be okay dude swearsies <3
#sorry i uh#i kinda went off there fhsajk#it just makes me sad when people are too scared to approach eachother#worst thing that happens is you get blocked#and thats okay!#sometimes people dont vibe so you keep going until you find people who do#ive been here for like 10 years Trust Me lol#ooc#mun stuff#the-hazbeens
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Revealing myself as a 98 vashmeryl truther by how I write vash and meryl's interactions in itnl
#speculation nation#itnl shit#THEYRE JUST SO FUNNY and i love them 😭😭😭😭#so yes this is a trimax fic but i am just gonna. push my 98 agenda for their relationship hfkdhfj Just a little#idk their dynamic is just more Present in the anime than in the manga. and it works for the setup i have so There.#also yes this is a vashwood fic IM ALLOWED to enjoy other dynamics too#toeing the line a little bit on the slight undertones but nothing will come of it#i. plan to have an acknowledgement in this chapter. chapter 13#vash makes a joke that could be interpreted as flirty and she's basically like 'Dont Deflect. you dont see me like that anyways.'#vash realizing that Yeah there kind of is a dynamic there. but also hes so focused on wolfwood he wouldnt wanna lead her on#it's like. this is just kinda part of being an adult ykno lol like#sometimes you have feelings for your friends and you can acknowledge it even & if youre mature enough about it it's Fine#he'll let her believe he has 0 possible interest in her bc it's easier that way. for both of them.#he doesnt want her to get her hopes up. doesnt wanna lead her on.#and YEAH MAYBE IM A POLYGUN TRUTHER I THINK ALL 4 OF THEM WOULD BE GREAT TOGETHER#for the purposes of this fic im keeping it to just the vashwood#but i cant resist... a lil sprinkle here and there......#like them meeting with a goddamned meet cute & then vash subsequently being an Asshole by getting her hopes up & then dipping#thats like. the vibes. thats the thing. vash realizing he needs to nip this in the bud bc he Cant be what she wants him to be.#im just. man. i have some Thoughts about this all.#if you couldnt guess vash & meryl r having some relationship development this chapter. im excited !!!!#they Will be friends!!!!!!! soon.
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