#sometimes there are just things i see and i have the urge to say ‘gay.’

[twildflower]

[sgiandubh]

Games people play

An ephemeral (and now quickly deactivated) account went rogue and sent a prominent shipper blog a whole load of conversations between that person, who played friendly to the Other Side, and Caitony. You know, the staunch stalwart of the Remarkable Week-end Saga, who consistently insulted shippers in the most revolting fashion one can imagine. 'Crazy' and 'stupid' being almost terms of endearment, of course.

I shall not repost the six conversations that have been meticulously screen capped and posted. You can read them here, starting with this post, where the Rogue Operator explains her choice of releasing them: https://www.tumblr.com/auburncurlslass/781073024919207936/hello-shipper-this-message-is-not-about-me-sam?source=share

But a couple of lines from that scrambled dialogue of sorts gave me pause, and I have thoughts and questions, as always.

'Beijos em tenda'/'Kisses in the tent'. I know what I saw, that night, while dissecting that Taylor Swift concert episode frame by frame. Many shippers were doubtful, perhaps because almost twelve years of brutality made many wary of the consequences of being too open or too readily accepting. A culture of paranoia and permanent second-guessing was the necessarily logical consequence of collective bullying. Now one of the most revolting people on the other side confesses she saw exactly the same thing and that it annoyed the shit out of her. Understandable: Those Two Kissed. Not on the cheek.

So, here you have it: Caitony knows that very well. Is she the only one? Doubtful: many, if not all of them, know the same thing, for you can be sure conversations happened in those DM boxes, too,

Shipper Mom just confirmed: in the above context, a 'beijo' is virtually never on the cheek. Otherwise, it would have been an 'abraço' - just a hug, so to speak, which wouldn't have scandalized Caitony. Yet, this one seems to have traumatized her so much, that she felt the urge to remind her 'friend', in a different conversation, one of the arguments used by Mordor to explain C's questionable behavior, including (but not only) that night. Albeit, on a more ominous tone:

C is, according to Caitony, 'doida'/crazy and 'bebe muito'/drinks a lot'. Yes, this is in the context Caitony finally spills the tea about her very seriously shipping C and Tobias Menzies, which is amusing, to say the least. Later on, she even speculates on Blonde Bambino being Tobias' son: ugh, nobody seems to like McGill, or what?

I have always known the entire Greek Chorus of sopranos, minions and clones were always spinning the same two arguments in a gradual miscellanea of insults and fighting words because what I post often made them feel uneasy (a #silly understatement). But now, here is evidence:

You know, they love and respect her so much, that they are readily throwing her under the bus the very moment she does not conform to their scenario. It's 'exclusivamente culpa dela'/'exclusively her fault', because you are just a sad and lonely woman, who has a parasocial relationship with a perfect, lionized stranger. And wow, how hard must reality sometimes bite, to make you veer dangerously close to our shores: 'tem horas que acho Tony um verdadeiro fantoche'/'at times, I think Tony is a real puppet'. You don't say, darling...

Of course, S is (according to Caitony) a gay man whose partner is Norouzi, which doesn't really come as a surprise, since this is what the Screeching Banshees have been insinuating for years, now. I have debunked enough of it, even showing how they tinkered with Wikipedia, to insist on this nonsense.

What is really interesting, though, is this very recent convo with Caitony, where she touches a very sensitive issue, all the while telling her 'friend' she was disillusioned and quitting this toxic madness:

Fucking fun, too, to read her defining C's marriage as a 'farca necessaria'/a necessary sham (but is this the same woman seeing McGill in Dublin, recently? Oh...) and openly mentioning 'divorcio'/divorce. Not once, but at least twice:

She even expects it to happen (really?), but thinks it's not the case, yet. How peculiar, really!

And, perhaps the most telling of everything, here is what she really, honestly wants for C's new movie, just because she thinks C needs the money and this is why she lies to her true fans:

'Quero que ela flope esse filme'/I want her film to be a flop'.

Not a fucking ounce of fucking shame. A cara nem treme.

I am not sorry for the length. Credits given accordingly, with the amendment the informer deactivated her blog, supposedly because she was afraid of Caitony going after her. I can also tell you that this informer followed my page for an hour, before changing her mind and choosing to post elsewhere. I am glad she did spill the tea.

'No boundaries. No respect. No class.'

In the meanwhile, we are preparing our trip to Paris, where we will make sure to tell C how good she is at what she does. I am not going for her. I am going because I want to hug and talk to all the people who will join our merry company. Because this is what a fandom is for: a facilitator for like-minded people to meet and become friends, not a cesspool of madness. I'll give Caitony that involuntary honesty.

[self-made-purgatories]

The Half-Empty Loveseat and Other Tragedies Or, the Episode Where Kirk Broke Spock's Heart (and Mine) Viewing Requiem for Methuselah in the context of "The Premise" (Spirk)

((Verrrrrrrrry long post, abandon all hope ye who enter here, etc., etc., but perhaps my thoughts will be interesting to someone else who is stewing in the juices of this episode as much as I am))

Spock is now a changed man from the beginning of this series. The stilted, warily friendly Vulcan from Where No Man Has Gone Before would not even recognize the Spock in Requiem for Methuselah: saying yes to a brandy, openly admitting an emotion (envy, for the host's art and history collection), and getting his heart(!) repeatedly shattered by his lover(!). Kirk's behavior towards Spock in this episode is exceptionally cruel when viewed through the Spirk shipping goggles, that is, accepting the Premise that the two of them are involved romantically and all of these events are happening within the frame of that situation.

There have been several rough episodes for Spock in Season 3, but it has always been because he was searching for Kirk, missing Kirk, or facing an enemy with Kirk at his side. This one really hurts because Spock's main antagonist is Kirk's own cruelty.

I view this episode through a very narrow tunnel in the shipping goggles, which helps to explain some of the more puzzling aspects of their interactions. Something has happened between Kirk and Spock. The two of them are definitely involved, Spock is deeply in love with Kirk, Kirk adores Spock but at the same time is pushing back and trying to keep things more casual with Spock (or he has in the back of his mind that he wants to settle down with a woman eventually and his gay flings are just for fun). It's an early prelude to the footnote drama: Spock's concept of t'hy'la contrasted with the slightly flippant nature of Kirk's response to it. There is friction about their needs and wants not matching. This whole thing with Rayna and Kirk happens within that context.

I can see that it would be logical for Spock to accept Kirk's varied dalliances in general. They are often no more than flirtations, sometimes even non-consensual on Kirk's part, often just for the sake of the mission. Spock might logically realize that Kirk, as a bisexual, has certain needs that he, an acespec gay man, can't always meet. But at the end of the episode, they always ride off together into the proverbial sunset the galaxy, looking out into the unknown, side by side where they belong. But this time, it's different. This time it's death by a thousand cuts. Here's why.

1

It starts out innocently enough. Spock is interested in playing this beautiful antique piano; their host, Flint, encourages it and recommends Kirk and Rayna dance.

Spock is playing so beautifully, but Kirk only has eyes for Rayna.

The two press closer and closer, and the camera cuts various times to the reaction of Flint, who is in love with Rayna. Usually when they cut to Spock it is to show him playing. But then he looks up and raises an eyebrow at the pair. It is a level of tension that matches Flint's.

(Also, not Bones glaring at Kirk like a similarly jilted lover when he comes in to find them dancing, yay for #mcspirk #mckirk)

2

Later in the scene, Spock is trying to tell Kirk about an important clue he has discovered regarding their host's true nature, but on the surface it sounds an awful lot like infodumping about Brahms, the classical music composer. Kirk blows him off with a dismissive hand-wave. "Later, Spock."

Kirk usually delights in Spock's infodumping, standing there with heart eyes and hanging on his every word. Getting shut down by his safe person like this is a type of rejection that is painful to anyone, but particularly painful to an autistic person. Poor "emotionless" Spock literally looks like he's been slapped.

His face falls and he busies himself studying the sheet music again.

Kirk leaves the room, specifically urging Spock to stay here.

Spock sits back down at the piano, looking like he might cry.

3

Kirk finds himself alone in the lab with Rayna, and when they start kissing, the guard robot comes to threaten Kirk. Spock saves the day by disobeying Kirk's order to stay at the piano. He comes in at just the right moment and shoots the robot with a phaser. Kirk thanks him, but then Rayna rushes back into Kirk's arms, touching first his lips and then hers with her fingers. Spock stands there for a few seconds, blinking, stunned. His face says, "Oh. So that's what you were up to in here."

4

The next scene begins with Spock and Flint squaring off against Kirk and Rayna. It is an interesting shot composition, and to me it speaks of the parallels between Spock and Flint: both previously hopeful, now jilted lovers, equally displaced by the interest between Kirk and Rayna.

Once Flint leaves the room with a reluctant Rayna, Spock and Kirk are left alone at last. And Spock sits down in this chair. It's symbolic. It's a loveseat. There's room for two. Spock balances on one ass cheek and sits way off to one side, leaving a space for Kirk. It is a plea for connection.

Then Spock gently explains to Kirk that Flint is also into her like that. He gently reminds Kirk of the task at hand and urges him to not get distracted by the girl. But Kirk continues to pace around the room, continues to fixate on Rayna, refuses to sit down next to Spock. It is another rejection. The two resolve to go find Bones, but then Rayna enters the room and Kirk abandons that plan, ordering Spock to go ahead. He stays behind and starts kissing Rayna again. This is the second time Kirk has ditched Spock in order to make out with Rayna.

5

Flint has purposely hidden the medicine they need within the secret inner laboratory. Spock has already figured out the truth about Rayna and he knows it will be hurtful to Kirk, so he tries to stop him from going in. Spock says he will go alone.

Kirk refuses and says they will all go in together.

(Aside: This Bones sideeye right here is such a delightful #spones moment. Kirk is completely oblivious, but Bones knows something is up. He hasn't figured it out yet, but the one thing he knows is that he is not taking any of Spock's bullshit.)

Inside the lab is evidence that Rayna is actually just an android created by Flint. As Spock foresaw, Kirk is distraught.

This is the only time that Spock stands this close to Kirk in this episode. (By his side, as if he'd always been there and always will be.) I think he means it like a hug for Kirk in his devastation. Flint enters the room to confront them and explain his true nature and that of Rayna. (Kirk turns to Spock: "Spock... you knew?" ) Then Rayna enters the room.

6

Kirk and Flint are arguing over Rayna, and Kirk tells Flint, "You kept us together, Rayna and me. Because you knew I could bring her emotions alive... From the beginning, you used me."

Spock looks, again, like he is about to cry. I am wondering. Does he see himself in that statement? Does he wish it weren't true? Maybe he is thinking that, yes, it's true, this man does have the power to bring emotions alive. I know it firsthand. But how dare he make that just a part of his personality rather than something special between us?

7

Kirk begins to fistfight with Flint over Rayna.

Spock attempts to reason with him, but it's a thinly veiled insult, a barb from an angry lover. Spock is holding him back, yes, but he is hanging on to Kirk's arm, which usually means that they are communicating telepathically. Spock is not just speaking, he is also pleading with Kirk, mind to mind. And Kirk's response is the most homophobic bullshit:

SPOCK: "Captain, your primitive impulses will not alter the circumstances." KIRK: "Stay out of this. We're fighting over a woman."

The subtext being you wouldn't understand.

8

Rayna says, "I was not human. Now, I love. I... love." And then promptly keels over dead on the floor.

And once again, I wonder if Spock sees himself in this moment. He started out with a deeply repressed human half, and now he is a completely changed person. Now, he loves too. And it hurts. Maybe he wishes he could also keel over on the floor.

9

Kirk, kneeling over Rayna's body, implores Spock: "What happened?" His question is shot through with grief. He is barely speaking above a whisper. But after everything that has happened, he is still relying on Spock, as he always does, to interpret the situation for him. And Spock's answer?

"...She loved you, Captain." (The way he says it. The hooded eyes, the pained expression. There are so many layers under it. "...The way I love you." "...How could anyone blame her?" "...And loving you killed her like it's killing me.")

He continues out loud: "There was not enough time for her to adjust to the awful power and contradictions of her newfound emotions.... The joys of love made her human. And the agonies of love destroyed her."

Whatever happened to Mr. I Don't Understand Love? Mr. "You mean love as motivation?...Humans do claim a great deal for that particular emotion" just a few episodes ago (The Lights of Zetar)? This is a man who knows what he is talking about. This is a man who is speaking from experience. This is a man who loves, and whose heart is breaking because of it.

10

So why does this situation hurt so much more than all Kirk's other dalliances? Aside from all the small but hurtful things piling on each other in this episode, there are three major things: First of all, Kirk loved this woman in a large part for her intellect, which is a specific role that Spock feels he is supposed to fill for Kirk. Kirk views Rayna as an equal, which is rare for his dalliances thanks to the decidedly misogynistic portrayal of most of the series' female characters. He has, however, always viewed Spock as an equal and loved him as such.

Second, Kirk wooed and pursued this woman even in her early nonresponsiveness. He worked hard to warm her cool exterior and work his way into her heart. He "brought her emotions to life." This is also something that was once unique to Kirk's pursuit of Spock.

And finally, thirdly: this time, Kirk doesn't recover quickly from losing her. Of all the girls in all the episodes, including (while suffering from amnesia) a woman he married and made a baby with, who then died in The Paradise Syndrome, Kirk has never been this devastated. And Rayna wasn't even human!

The last few minutes of the episode have been analyzed to death by many before me, but here are my thoughts.

Kirk begins by calling himself a lonely man. Earlier in this episode, loneliness was defined as: "It is a thirst. A flower dying in the desert." How could Kirk call himself lonely when Spock is standing right in front of him?

But I am also reminded of the end of Dagger of the Mind. Bones says, "It's hard to believe that a man could die of loneliness," and Kirk responds, "Not when you've sat in that room." Spock has also experienced that room through his mind meld with Simon van Gelder. He knows that loneliness kills. And while he is in control of his outward emotions, on the inside he is absolutely panicked for Kirk. Both for the dangers of the depth of Kirk's loneliness, and for the implications for their relationship that Spock apparently does nothing to assuage that loneliness, not even when standing right there.

Spock continues to watch over Kirk as Kirk whispers, "If only I could forget," and puts his head down on the desk to fall asleep.

Then Bones comes in with an update on Flint: It seems that now, after thousands of years of life on Earth, Flint has gained the ability to die, and will die, after a normal lifespan. Spock answers, "On that day, I shall mourn." How very emotional from the emotionless Vulcan. How very symbolic. A tragically long-lived, brilliant intellectual with all the time and knowledge in the world, and nobody to share it with. Spock is looking down the barrel at his own painful future and mourning the person he will become. He has just realized that the five-year mission will not last forever. He has just realized that the love between him and Kirk might not last forever.

Who is the flower dying in the desert now?

Something in Spock has broken in this episode. And it is so, so painful to watch.

Then Bones, prompted by the sight of Kirk sleeping on the desk, proceeds to mansplain to Spock about exactly what Spock himself said a few minutes ago about the "awful power and contradictions" of love. That is Spock's quote, not Bones. Here is Bones'.

BONES: You wouldn't understand that, would you, Spock? You see, I feel sorrier for you than I do for him because you'll never know the things that love can drive a man to. The ecstasies, the miseries, the broken rules, the desperate chances, the glorious failures, the glorious victories. All of these things you'll never know simply because the word love isn't written into your book.

Kind of the same thoughts with more words. Bones, weren't you listening? I get that is meant to underscore the point. We won't dwell on it too much, although I would think Bones would know better. (I am reminded of their conversation in Bread and Circuses, when Spock says "Really, Doctor?" and Bones answers, "I know. I'm worried about Jim too.")

"You'll never know the things that love will drive a man to," Bones says. Spock raises his eyebrow to that. It's another "Really, Doctor?" but Bones doesn't catch it this time.

Bones leaves the room with a final wish: "I do wish he could forget her." And Spock is once again standing guardian over a sleeping Kirk.

What is he thinking? Is he thinking that he might still have the power to save their relationship from the thousands of cuts and tears? Is he thinking that he has to save his dearest friend, and love, from dying in the desert of loneliness? Is he thinking that this is what Kirk wants from him, based on how he expressed a wish to forget (which Bones then reiterated)? It is a mystery. But you already know how the rest of it goes. You already know how he opens his mind and his heart. You already know how he bridges the chasm, crosses the eternal few steps between himself and Kirk.

You already know the absolute agony on his face as he whispers, "Forget." He may be saying it to himself as much as he is saying it to Kirk.

[kyri45]

✨ShadowPeach Bio Parents Bio AU Q&A! 17/11✨

Welcome to the Q&A! A space where I can answer related or similar question about the Shadowpeach Bio Parents AU! If you submitted your ask anonimously, then you’ll have to check the whole post if it’s answered here, if it’s not, worry not! Your asks might have been used for a future comic or just in the queue~

Anonimo ha chiesto: (Baby Mk trying to wake up macaque) Macaque: Wukong your son's awake Wukong: Before sunrise he's your son. Lol lion King reference

Aaaaaaahhh I love it! I was thinking the same!

Anonimo ha chiesto: I wonder if MK is experiencing any other Yaoguai urges? Besides his crush instincts and fun Monkey habits and behaviors.

mmmmm I think he mostly sometimes starts a tantrum in monkey style, where he starts to move a lot and jumps around

Anonimo ha chiesto: So like do macaque and wukong have rings or anything like now I think it would be cute if they renewed their vow.

I think I need to go study traditional chinese weddings traditions

l@ovingshadowpeaches ha chiesto: Ohhh my gosh i finally have the balls to send you this ask!! I adore your shadowpeach bio parents AU SO SO SO MUCH, your art style is so satisfying and mesmerising to look at, the plot is chefs kiss and I hope you know I LOVE all the soysauce duo content i am being fed and our Macaque introject adores it because the MK he knows is his son and your comic makes him feel a lot more valid and closer to his boy, your comic is so comforting to both him and me. I can't wait to see how it all plays out and I can't express enough how much we love love this comic!! All the love!!! GAH!!!

awww tysm for your ask!!!! :')

Anonimo ha chiesto: I think that is hilarious that macaque yoinked the great sage. Also other demons jealous Mac?!?! I need more jealous mac. I can only imagine it went like, Here is a basket of delicious peaches for your enjoyment. Excuse me while I go beat the shit out this demon for trying to take you away (Not that they could even if they got past Macaque).

hehe meanwhile Wukong's ego grows tenfold

Anonimo ha chiesto: SHADOWPEACH BIO PARENT AU The last question had me saying: what was Pigsy's and Tang's reaction to Mk's l̶o̶v̶e̶r̶ crush on Red Son? And also the court napping thing?

I think at first they didn't believe it, then they realized what happened, and didn't know wheter being shocked or not since they should have absolutely saw it coming.

@vex--lynn ha chiesto: Do you find it crazy how much you've affected the Fandom, like you've taken it by storm! It's kinda like when "Garden across our collarbone" took over the Fandom. In the end, we're left crying happy tears. I'm so happy to have found this comic while it was still being made cause I feel like I'm part of the adventure of these crazy monkies! I wish you nothing but the best for you!! <3

BRO u CAN'T JUST PULL OUT THAT NAME AND MINE IN THE SAME CONTEXT. That fic is like an atomic bomb I'm just a humble artist drawing gay monkies.

Anonimo ha chiesto: I just want you to know that your LMK comic is getting me through a really hard time in my life right now. It really helps to have something to smile about and look forward to. Thank you so much for all the recent fluff. It brings me a lot of joy. 💕 Awwww tysm!!

Aww that's so nice to hear!

Anonimo ha chiesto: Okay since mac has 6 sensitive ears... wouldn't be sometimes hard for him...? l mean what if there was very strong noises like fireworks or smt around!? U know what is the best solution for this!! Mac lying down between wukong's arms and put his head on chest and listen to his heartbeat!!! This will absolutely will calm him down right? I WANNA SEE THIS IN YOUR COMICS PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAASS

askjcbaicbasc that's sooooo cute! Maybe, perhaps, in the future, who knows....

Anonimo ha chiesto: Is it slowly building back up to shadowpeach getting back together or? 🤔 idk their relationship status rn

situationship so bad these 2 are sleeping together and have a kid but still are allergic to flirt like normal people.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Got a question about Sun Wukong being trans. I know he probably uses glamour to hide his ✨✨boobies✨✨. But like, is he also using tape or are they kinda just... Out Cause now I'm thinking about the times we've seen him shirtless so like... ???

before he learned to shapeshift he mostly used bandages since that's all he could do at the time. Now MK is teaching him what binders are and he couldn't be more grateful.

@ayrza ha chiesto: I know you may not share it, or even read it, but I need to get it out of me. Do you realize that MK has only had father figures and no mother figures? Which means that the simple word "MAMA" carries too much sentimental weight and that's... 🥹 THIS COULD NOT BE MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN YOU ALREADY MADE IT!!! MY BABY SAID MAMA!!!! 😭✨💖

o my gAAAAHHD I THINK THAT WAS UNINTENTIONAL OF ME BUT THIS CHANGES EVERYTHINGGG

@s-p-r-i-n-g-t-i-m-e ha chiesto: question: what does MK call Pigsy and Tang? Anonimo ha chiesto: I love the new post i am crying 😢 😭 But I do have a question is mac mama and wukong Baba, or is wukong Mama and mac baba this is an important question I have for you???

Pigsy is "Dad" and Tang is "Papa". Mac is "Mama" and Wukong is "Baba"

Anonimo ha chiesto: I’ve seen many many drawings and intereptations of Mac being all piecered, especially on his ears cause if you have six, you gotta use em. Does macaque have any piercings in your au or is his ears too sensitive for that in your mind? Does he like to fidigit with them or any body else?

mmmm he can perfectly have it. I think he would have a few, but only rings and like each of them is far from the others in the lobe area because I can imagine someone with sensitive Hearing wouldn't like to hear the sounds of metal or earrings tingeling every time he moves around.

@alchemical-spill-on-aisle-three ha chiesto: In your shadowpeach comic, is Mei going to help MK with his crush? I just think it would be really funny if they got into hijinks while trying to get MK and Redson together lol

Mei is the one who organized their sparring meetings in the first place. She was Spicynoodle number 1 fan since the beginning.

@straightally2001 ha chiesto: Hmm... if Kai is gonna be MK and Red Son's son does that mean that Nya is gonna be Mei's daughter?

Omg yes. But guys don't tempt me or I might make a "Spicynoodle 50 years later/ninjago crossover" comic the size of the shadowpeach one if we go down this path

Anonimo ha chiesto: If mk is a trans does he still get period?

yes

Anonimo ha chiesto: what is MK’s favorite thing about red boy?

The fact that he tries to hide his emotions but his fire powers reflects them out of his control. MK thinks it's very cute.

Anonimo ha chiesto: So, are you ever going to make a sick episode for the bio dads? I am asking because I am sick, and it would be interesting to see what they are like when sick.

nope sorry. donesn't fit in the current schedule. But MK will go at the hospital at some point if that's of any reassuring.

@sokda-lal-ashes ha chiesto: Do you have why doodles that aren't exactly in the stories but that fits your bio parents au? I love your art so much!! Especially your redson design!!!

Yes but they are spoilers. Sorryyy

Anonimo ha chiesto: Wukong: hay don't forget to eat breakfast. Macaque: what are you talking about I just ate Wukong: you had espresso & anit depressants that is not a meal. Macaque (repeats mocking Wukong) I don't need your judgement I feel like the whole being revived thinks makes macaque sometimes not realize he's hungry or thirsty

ahah how much I relate (I don't take antidepressant but a lot of magnesium bc of mood swings)

@astro-lmk-enjoyer ha chiesto: Wait… if macaque gets his power from a lunar eclipse, does that mean that wukong gets his power from a solar eclipse? Bye <3

Anonimo ha chiesto: Oh so I just had a thought! Since the light hair streaks are being caused by a lunar eclipse because Macaque draws his powers from the moon, is the opposite true for Wukong? Are any of his powers from the sun and would something happen if there was a solar eclipse? Love all the world building in your comics its all so good!!!

mmm I don't think that's how it works.

Anonimo ha chiesto: wait, so since the brotherhood knew about Macaque courtnapping Wukong, did they ever have to witness the monstrosity of cuddles and affection you describe Shadowpeach when they’re together? I could only imagine the awkwardness. Or many they’re totally cool with them being open with each other right in front of them. I know th3 brotherhood won’t show up in your comic as you’ve said before but a fan can only dream.

Oh yeah. O yeah they did.

@shamelesschopshopwasteland ha chiesto: How are Macaque and Wukong? Do they spend time with each other outside of sleeping? (Also I love you AU!!! <3)

Macaque still works from time to time to the Dojo in weekdays, and also likes his alone time, but has been spendind more time with Wukong to help the other monkeys and telling stories about what happened in all those years they missed when they were still enemies.

Anonimo ha chiesto: (I LOVE YOUR ART SM IFDJKEWVJHA, make sure to take breaks!!) Considering Macaque doesn't like the cold. (I love that HC so much, especially because I like to HC that he's freezing 24/7 can only warm up with hot springs and touch but not actual heat/the sun) How would Macaque react in a snowstorm/winter. Would he just bundle up a lot or lock himself in a room or something similar?

3 layers of jackets and self-heating socks when he's going around, otherwise Hot springs every evening.

Anonimo ha chiesto: what other nicknames/pet names does SWK and Macaque have for one another beside peaches and plum?

mmm I think Sun and Moon

@patienceandpokemon ha chiesto: Okay, rip my heart out with happiness in P7 of Monkie trio with the moonlight reveal why don't you?! THANK YOU! But in seriousness, in the latest bit . . Are Mac and MK recharging their shadow powers under the moonlight? Is that why Mac never really attacked in season 1-3 in your AU of LMK, unless there had been a full moon prior? Or am I snowballing into unrelated territory? Anywho, love the comic! He's so fucking fluffy and white like a pearl! And MK, baby fluff!!!!!

Wait he actually did it in the series?? I never noticed!

Anonimo ha chiesto: Soooooo we know Macaque did the courtnapping for shadowpeach so who did the courtnapping for the demon bull family? PIF or DBK👀

I think PIF did?

@boonalina ha chiesto: Question: In your AU, when exactly did Mac and PIF become sworn siblings? Cuz we know Wuk and Mac were sworn bros with DBK, and then DBK "betrayed" them by getting together with PIF. So when exactly would Mac have become sworn siblings with her? Was it like during the time Wukong was under the mountain or smth? Cuz it does seem like Mac drifted apart from the Brotherhood when Wukong was imprisoned.

this is a fandom headcanon, but I believe it was a little after Wukong was imprisoned, and a little after Macaque was revived

[guywrestlingaddiction]

That Wresting Moment: The abs bash match - Kayden Keller v Carter Alexander (bgeast.com)

Gay wrestling doesn't have to be complicated.  Sometimes all it takes is one jealous heel + one meat head jock, mix in some ab bashing and there you have a match.  But looks can be deceiving and look beyond that pink pummeled mid section and you have another layer of gay wrestling subtext. 

Kayden Keller v Carter Alexander (bgeast.com)

SPOILER ALERT: I highly recommend viewing this match in its entirety before reading this post.

The Backstory Enter Carter Alexander. The man gets an A for Alexander and an A for Abs. The man is built like an action figure I used to play with.

The Action

What's the story? Kayden sees a hot hunky Carter and feels a urge to break that tall jock.  Carter looks like the kind of man's man that gets into bar fights and brags about his conquests to his bros.  Carter is all alpha in appearance and Kayden needs to make him weak. 

Carter: We're going to have a good clean fight right?

Kayden: Sure ... After a cheap shot to bring the jock down, we are immediately treated to the ab bash.  There are simply too many ab bashes to keep track of. 

The Moment 

So what makes this match more than just an S&M bash fest?  Sure there's more than enough pink and bruised abs to go around but like I've said countless times, Gay wrestling is simply so much more!    It's not only about pounding away at your opponent.  Kayden also has his fun.  Gay wrestling is not about hurting, well not only about the hurt.  It's about satisfying your heel.  

We start with a reverse bearhug.

Then the Ab claw.

Kayden looks mighty satisfied in both. Let's start with the innovation.  This move is new to me at least.  What's it's called?  The reverse ab-hug? Whatever it is, we need more.

It's all about the humbling of our hunk.  Witness Carter, intimidating as he is on the outside, reduced to a groveling jobber begging to end this match by the time this is all over.  

Kayden: Two words ... Carter: It hurts?!  Kayden: Wrong .... 

Next we have our handsome, hunky jock weak, tired, and helpless to Kayden's onslaught.  Kayden is not holding anything back and we can see the toll it's taking on Carter.  The man is built like steel but even steel has its limits.  

And lastly, good matches need good endings.  Kayden ends the ab abuse only when he's good and ready.  Carter submitted a thousand times over and is clearly no match for him but his heel ends things simply when he's good and done playing with his toy.  

Carter: *groan* *groan* Kayden: Now I say you're done. 

[foreingersgod]

what if like you did a CC x reader fic with Good luck, babe! And like reader is like Caitlins gay awakening and stuff…

Good Luck, Babe! . CC

pairing: caitlin clark x reader

synopsis: Good luck, babe! by Chappell roan

A/N: i’m aware that in a good chunk of my cc fics that it starts with reader and cait “just hooking up” or something like that, so i swear this will be the last time i do that 😭😭

It's fine, it's cool

You can say that we are nothing, but you know the truth

the sun peaked through your linen curtains, making your eyes flutter open. you glanced over at your phone, 8:30, and over to the left side of your bed where she laid. she was sleeping peacefully, sheets pulled up to her collarbone, hair spewed in different directions against one of your pillows. she looked so beautiful like this. having her naked, in your bed, was truly a blessed sight to see so you cherished it whenever you could.

as she snored softly, still deep in a dream, you turned over on your side to look at her properly. you let your fingers run across the prominence of her collarbone, toying with the hem of your sheets that hid the rest of her gorgeous body. you watched as her lips parted with each breathe, how her nose twitched, and how her faint freckles danced across her cheeks. she was a sight for sore eyes.

not much later, her eyes fluttered just like yours had moments ago, yawning as she stretched for the first time this morning. she looked over, noticing you had been staring for who knows how long.

“take a picture, it’ll last longer” she laughed, leaning over and kissing your forehead before shuffling out of bed and starting to get dressed.

“no picture could beat the real thing” you grinned back. she looked over, smiling back at you, grabbing her keys.

“hey i gotta go, connor’s got this weird brunch thing that he needs me for, but um” she made her way to the door “i’ll text you”

“wait!” you stopped her before she could leave. she let you of the handle to your bedroom and turned to face you, giving you full attention. suddenly you felt vulnerable, still naked and barely covered by your sheets, laid right in front of her “would you want to grab dinner sometime this week? i know we meet up on fridays, but…i don’t know i thought it’d be nice to see you sooner”

“um…yea…you know i’ll have to text you or something” she shuffled around, avoiding eye contact. “it’s just that me and connor…he’s still my boyfriend…”

you fought the urge to roll your eyes “yea, yea i know”

“well i can’t just go out with you all the time like we’re girlfriends. me and connor are still together”

“even if you’re in my bed every weekend?” you scoffed “whatever, caitlin, i get it”

she just stared at you, not wanting to pick a fight. instead she opted for a sigh and left your apartment, leaving you alone and wanting.

you wished she didn’t have to pretend. you wished the two of you ended up differently.

And guess I'm the fool

With her arms out like an angel through the car sunroof

you shouldn’t have let yourself get this attached to someone you knew you’d never be able to have. you intentionally put yourself in situations with caitlin, hoping that, in some magical fantasy in your head, she’d fall for you. but you knew her. you knew about connor and you knew that being ‘gay’ was no where near something she was willing to accept, wether you were in the picture or not.

you found yourself constantly thinking back on all the times you’d realized that you were in love other her.

when she fell asleep on your shoulder during a movie night with your mutual friends.

when you and caitlin decided to road trip to tennessee to visit a close friend who was graduating. you let her have the aux and watched as she hung out the window. sunset illuminating her face, wind rushing through her long hair, singing the lyrics completely wrong but she didn’t care. she was the sun itself, in your eyes.

when she came to your crying for the first time, sobbing about something connor had done. how she so angry at him and needed a friend to spend the night with.

when she came over a second time, completely distraught again. something about how she didn’t feel right, that her head was messing with her. she was having thoughts. thoughts about you, about women, and that she was having a crisis about her sexuality.

when she came over a third and fourth and however many amount of times, when she opened up about those thoughts with you. asking you if you would help her. asked if you would take her to bed, to relive some of her thoughts. make her feel good, worship her like connor could never do.

but your crush never went past that. taking her to bed and waking up with her already gone most mornings, shooting you a ‘thank you’ text and saying she’d see you next friday.

I don't wanna call it off

But you don't wanna call it love

You only wanna be the one that I call baby

“caitlin, can i talk to you for a second” you asked, moving her hands away from the waistband of your shorts.

“yea, baby” she said, calling you that like she didn’t know it destroyed you on the inside to hear it “what’s up?”

you bit your lip, nervous to pester her with this again, but you don’t think you can handle it much longer. this secret sleeping around situation was taking a toll on you and you don’t want to be waiting around for someone that will never come.

“i love the time i get with you so so much” you began “but i don’t think i can keep doing this”

“i’m sorry, what?”

“i just don’t feel like being something you keep on the side. or like being a secret for that matter. i’ve had feelings for you for a very long time and it’s very clear that you don’t feel the same, so i think we need to call this off if that’s the case.”

“oh my- are you serious?” she furrowed her eyebrows, voice raising “i don’t get the privilege to just come out and tell everyone i like girls, YN. and regardless, like i’ve told you countless times, me and connor are still together”

“but why, caitlin?” you matched her tone “do you even love the guy? cause last time i checked, you don’t even spend time with him anymore. why? cause you’re always here with me playing fucking house! i don’t care if you don’t want to come publicly out, but…but i don’t think it’s fair that you treat me as some play thing for when you want to play pretend!”

she tugged at her hair in annoyance “jesus fucking christ, YN. whatever this is between me and you…it’s not love, alright? i thought you wanted this?! you’ve been more than willing to fuck me every time. so i’m not really understanding why you’re so upset!”

you felt sick, like you were genuinely going to puke. she was a mess and you’re not going to be her experiment for when she’s having trouble with her sexuality.

“just fucking leave, clark” you shook your head “i’m not doing this with you anymore. come back when you’re ready to figure yourself out.”

You can kiss a hundred boys in bars

Shoot another shot, try to stop the feeling

after that night, caitlin was a disaster. she was choosing to ignore what you said; about being in love, about connor, about everything. just because you fucked on the side didn’t mean she was gay…right?

she hadn’t been herself at all. she was screwing up at practices, forgetting about events and team dinners she needed to attend. she was starting to fall behind in classes, every part of her life was crumbling.

even when she laid in bed, inched over to the very edge of the mattress, connor snoring obnoxiously loud from the other end, she couldn’t stop thinking about the last time she saw you. things were never right with connor, she had always known that subconsciously, but it was becoming very clear how loveless this relationship truly was. but she brushed it off, tricking her mind into thinking that this was how things were meant to be.

she had been with men all her life, taught that this was what girls were supposed to do. so to imagine a life in which she ended up with you was just some silly dream that was meant to stay only as an unattainable desire.

for the nights that she couldn’t sleep, she would spend in the gym practicing, trying to shake off the truth that gnawed at the back of her head endlessly. this was good, she thought, basketball always made her feel better. it was her safe place. here she could leave her worries at the door and find comfort in the game, not even thinking about you.

but no matter how many shots she took, how many baskets she made, no matter how many drills she ran to make herself forget, she found herself coming back to the thought of you.

You can say it's just the way you are

Make a new excuse, another stupid reason

after about a month without you, caitlin had started to realize how much she was fucking up.

“caitlin, are you good?” kate had approached her after practice one day “you’ve been way off. and no offense, but your shots have been awful. what’s going on?”

“nothing” she plastered a fake grin on her face “nothing really, just been having a rough patch with connor, but we’re chill. just gotta lock in” she tried to joke.

kate laughed along, but she knew caitlin too well. there was definitely something up with her. but again, knowing caitlin, she needed to let her deal with it on her own.

caitlin had numerous people approach her about this. about her behavior and how she seemed to be struggling recently. but she brushed it off every single time, probably giving a dozen different excuses as to why she was acting in such a manner. she hoped that she would eventually believe them herself.

Good luck, babe!

You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling

you truly hoped that she was doing ok. you hadn’t heard from her in quite some time, not bothering to reach out to her in fear that you’d poke the bear and make it worse. all you wanted was for her to realize what she truly felt. wether it be in love with you or that she had never loved connor at all the begin with, it didn’t matter, you just wanted her to finally see how beautiful life was when someone found their true self.

you had been in her position before: unforgiving parents, no one to trust, you’d even had the remorseless religion to add on to all of the reasons why you felt like you couldn’t be yourself. and you knew what i took to get to where you are now.

caitlin believed that most things could be fixed by either ignoring it, or fixing it right away and never looking back. but this wouldn’t be the case now, you already knew, she would have to come to terms with it eventually.

And when you wake up next to him in the middle of the night

With your head in your hands, you're nothing more than his wife

caitlin shot up out of bed, gasping for air, clawing at the sheets that seemed to be glued to her skin. another nightmare, she’d been having those recently. she looked over, squinting her eyes in the dark, making sure connor was still asleep. letting a sigh of relief go when she realized he was out cold.

her hands found their way to her hair, hands scratching at her scalp, elbows balanced on her knees. she was losing her god damn mind. she couldn’t stand him, she no longer held love for connor (not there was any in the beginning). with each passing day that she had spent with him, she found that her heart beat more and more for you each time.

And when you think about me, all of those years ago

You're standing face to face with "I told you so"

the idea of loving you was tormenting her every single day for the last few months. you were the reason she woke up every morning, the reason she worked so hard to win each game, and the reason she woke up the next morning and dumped connor. she was finally able to see clearly now, finally able to understand that she was madly fucking in love with you.

she realized that no matter how many times she fought the feeling or no matter how many times she tried to convince herself otherwise, that you were the one thing she breathed and lived for.

You know I hate to say it, I told you so

she didn’t even know what she was doing or what she was going to say, but she found herself making her way out of her apartment and into her car. she had to see you and tell you how wrong she was this whole time. that she was so in love with you that her body shook with it.

her heart pounded as she turned onto your street, immediately singling out your building and noticing your apartment lights were still on. her whole body must’ve been shaking with the way that she could barely put the car in park and unbuckle her seat belt. but she managed to make it up every flight of stairs and to your door where the shiny gold ‘103’ sat, practically antagonizing her.

her mind was on autopilot, not even realizing she had already knocked three times until she heard your footsteps approach the door. and suddenly there you were in all your glory, as beautiful as ever.

you were dressed in your comfy clothes, fuzzy cow slippers on your feet, hair messed up, and your necklace backwards. but she thought you were the most gorgeous woman she had ever seen.

“caitlin?” you rubbed your eyes in astonishment “what-um-what are you doing here?”

“hi” she breathed “i know it’s late, im sorry, really. but i just need to see you”

“caitlin i don’t want to do this again. it’s been months and you show up at more door suddenly at what? 12:40 in the morning? i thought i told you i was done with the whole charade.” you stated firmly, about to shut the door on her, but she wedged her foot between the space of the door before you could close it.

“no, no. it’s not…it’s not like that. i meant that i need to come clean to you”

still skeptical, you let her in, watching as she politely hung up her jacket. you ushered her to the couch, grabbing her a glass of water and preparing yourself for whatever she was about to confess.

“when you ended things with me,” she broke the silence “i thought i’d eventually get over it because i didn’t think what we had was all that serious. i was scared to admit that i didn’t love connor…and most importantly that…that i like girls.”

you looked at her solemnly, you knew how hard this was for her.

“and i guess is till don’t know exactly what i am, but…but what i do know is that i took you for granted and i treated you unfairly. you didn’t deserve any of it and for that i apologize”

“hey it’s…it’s ok now. yea i was upset with how things were going, but i’m proud of you now that you’ve recognized what you’ve done and you’re working on yourself.” you tried to reassure her.

“i really am trying” she stated “because i want to. for you.”

you watched as her eyes twinkled under the glow of your lamp, tears rimming her lash line. you noticed the way her nose twitched like how it did that one morning she woke up in your bed. and how she looked just as flawless as she did when you had met her.

“YN, im in love with you.” she blurted “i know i have no right to come here and say that. especially after i completely disregarded your feelings for me. i don’t expect you to take me back and try and love me again, but i just need to you to know that i have spent every day regretting what i’ve done”

there was another heavy silence again, filling the room instantly, encapsulating that words that rolled off of her tongue. you were honestly at a lost for words. of course you were still in love her, you never stopped, but now things were real. you were watching your deepest dreams unravel to you right in front of your eyes.

“You know…I hate to say it but” you said, watching as caitlin braced herself for what she assumed was rejection “…I told you so” you couldn’t hold back your grin, immediately falling into playful laughter as you scooted closer to her on the couch.

“i’m in love with you too” you finally admitted out loud for the first time in months.

her shoulders finally relaxed, exhaling after holding her breathe waiting for your response. she laughed with you, just glad to here you say those words.

“don’t scare me like that” she said, face inching slowing towards you “i don’t think i would’ve been able to handle the rejection”

“don’t worry, i don’t think i ever could’ve stopped loving you if i tried” you whispered, finally closing the gap between you. you’d kissed her many times before, but this would be the first kiss that actually mattered. “but i really did tell you so” 

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

A/N: yayyy!! happy ending!! <3

[k3n-dyll]

Domestic!Sevika [Drabble]

||Men, minors, and ageless DNI

CW: None just Vika being cute

AN: not proofread, just started writing

Masterlist Divider Creds Helpful Palestine Links

Domestic!Sevika who has never been in love before you, finding herself roaming around your apartment while you're out and noticing a basket full of undone laundry sitting near the washer.

You've been super busy recently and haven't had much time or energy to keep up with certain household chores and laundry was one of them.

Now, Sevika has never been one to just...do shit for people. Not unless it benefitted her in some way. And yet now she finds herself sorting your darker clothes from the light ones, washing them separately, drying them then heading back onto your bedroom and putting them away. She doesnt even roll them into a ball and toss them into drawers like she sometimes does with her own things - she folds them. Neatly.

She finishes and is quite proud of herself, going back to giving herself a bit of a tour of your place, but oh, look at that - the sink has dishes from last nights dinner date.

On any normal day you'd have washed them after eating but Sevika had other plans, which is why she was over at your apartment the next morning in the first place. A part of her feels bad for practically carrying you into the bedroom the night prior instead of helping you clean up, so she may as well make up for it by washing those dishes now, right?

Needless to say, when you get back that afternoon your apartment is spotless and something heavenly is wafting from the kitchen. There's no sign of Sevika until you walk back into your bedroom. Shes lounging on top of the blankets of your now made up bed, reading a book.

"You did all this?"

And she just stares at you for a moment, thinking.

"Oh, dinner? Yeah. I figured since you cooked last night..."

You shake your head and begin to explain what you mean fully. You could literally see your reflection on the counters when you walked through the kitchen and shes just sat here as if she hasnt moved all day. Even when you elaborate, she just shrugs as if she hadnt just made your life 10 times easier by simply being left alone in your house for a day.

"I dunno...I just got bored I guess"

Is her explanation for it, though that was clearly a lie, but you werent going to push her into saying anything sappy. Her work around the house said enough. She's been here before, sure, but its clear that she takes in every little thing you do. She's cooked your favorite dish, folded your laundry and sorted it in the specific way that you always do. She'd managed to get every little organization quirk of yours down to a T.

"Well, thank you for getting bored" you respond, kissing her on the forehead, and while she'd never say it out loud but that little bit of praise makes her heart jump.

I love her sm

Little drabble that is solely based on my urge to act like a housewife when I'm with my girlfriend. I'd lasso the moon for that girl istg

Taglist: @half-of-a-gay, @porcelainmystery, @delinthecut, @sevsbaby, @archangeldyke-all

[gassydumbjocks]

Its Good To Be A Man

Tyler close the door and throw himself to the sofa, exhausted after a day of work thanking it was finally over. He worked at a pretty good company, but being the only gay guy in his department and having to deal with homophobes and sexist co-workers was sometimes too much for him, so he thought about watching a movie or a tv show maybe to relax and sleep.

He started to look up in his VHS Cassettes' box and soon noticed that strangely, a new one was there, it didn't got any cover or stuff, and just had written "Its good to be a man" as the only title on it, he found it weird, but then supposed perhaps that his dumb jock of a roommie got it and put it with his stuff "I've told him not to touch my things like a million times, when is that brute gotta learn"

He had to admit the curiousity was hitting him, it was probably a home made video recorded by Connor and his gross buddies, but boy... after all, he was gay, and all of Connor's friends were toned ripped jocks from the gym (with a brain of a peanut size, but hot after all)

Thinking "maybe its just their excersizes routines... guess it wouldn't hurt to see" feeling a bit of a lust mood running in his body "ok, just a couple minutes...but i swear, if its just them having a belch off, im burning this" he said.

Putting the tape in the tv player, he clicked to put the video, and all of a sudden, the typical static sound shows, then a simple white screen, making Tyler raise an eyebrow, before what seemed to be a variety show intro plays, a smiling man in a suit which he supposed was the host, along a bunch athletic shirtless men with dumb expressions who followed next to him appeared in screen.

"Good to see ya again my brothers!" The host announces "this is your program where you learn how to be real MEN", as if it was a cue, the stud-bodied-like guys all grunted and beated their chests, like they were gorillas making a chanting "Uh!, Uh!, Uh!" and flexed their arms, making the audience laugh loudly, with those cocky grins Tyler knew so well, he rolled his eyes.

Making the host laugh aswell, he patted one of them in the back "That's what i talk about" he joked "Alright folks, tonight we'll indulge into an intense session of what it means to be a man, these guys here will serve as examples in showing you all stuff boys MUST do to become the alpha macho men they truly are" he adds, then, smirking, he takes a small device from his suit pocket.

"This little thing here made sure to leave them empty headed and obey any manly command given to them, just as it'll make sure to do the same for you, ma boy" he suddenly announces.

"...The hell?" Tyler said, arching his look again as he watched them "is this some bullshit hypnosis crap or?..." he asked

"That's right, dudes! Lets begin" the host shouted. "It's time to show off around what you're made of! We'll do something primal, no pun intented" he joked "We'll now do the first category: BURPING!, so, let's hear those nice bassy burps!" he says, turning to the group of jocks, as he pressed a button of that device.

Immediatly, they started to release loud and deep monsters of burps, at unison, as if they were in trance, still with those dumb expressions, and Tyler could swear he saw how one of them got his eyes crossed with a complete fool face.

Even worse, Tyler felt a strange urge to burp himself too. He tried to resist, but the feeling was overwhelming, he rubbed his gut hoping to calm it down, but he just letted out a loud, embarrassing belch, blushing immediatly

"Wha-BOOOOUUURRP?- Is happening?!" he said between belches, a little ashamed.

"Excellent!" the host cheered. "This is what i call a manly symphony!, but we also know there is another way to do that, right?" He asks the public with a mischevous grin "FARTING is a big part in the bonding among men, so, we just have to, let it rip right?" He asked again, as he pressed that little button.

Some of the guys turned around to show their butts, other simply proceed to lift their legs, but they all did the same, at the command of "letting rip" they instantly started a worthy orchestra of simultaneous farts, each sounding grosser and deepest than the last one

Tyler was grossed out and sick, he wanted it to stop, but as he bend over a bit over to approach the tv, his butt felt the need to drop a massive, and nasty monster of a deep fart, the loudest he've ever letted out, he could feel his butt vibrating at that one, sitting normally again, horrified and trying to cover his butt with his hands.

"This-BOOOOOOOUUUUURRRRRPP!" He belched "Is a nightmare!..."

PPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRTTTT!!!

That last fart seemed to do something on Tyler, he kept one second silent before, turning his head to the tv again, now with a dumb and foolish grin adorning his face "hahaha, dudee, i need to quit the bean dip next timee" he said in a lower, more manly voice.

"Whew! Guys! Ok ok its enough! Hahaha" The always happy host said, as he waved his hand to make the smell go away, as the dumb bunch of men kept blasting bombs out of their butts "Geez, dont anybody here think on turning on a lighter" he said bursting in laughing, making Tyler laugh too at the stupid joke.

"But for now, this is all we got for today's emmision, bros, we're glad that you could come with us in this, stinky, foul and manly lessons that every man needs to apply in his everyday, till the next program! Boys? Would you like to wave goodbay?" he asked with a grin.

The camera showed each of them, now it was sure they all had that same cross-eyed look and dumb smiles, like Tyler did, the staff offered a can of a kind of soda to one of them, which he drank in a single gulp, before removing it from his lips "GOOOD BYEEEEAAAAUUURRRRRP!" A massive belch came out, as he succesfully burp-talked, gaining again the laughs and applause from all the people in the set.

Meanwhile with Tyler, at the same time he also relaxed his muscles, and lifted a leg as he felt some pressure in his lower abdomen, he knew very well what that meant "Bombs away!" he said proudly, before the smelly, big and long fart made its way out of his crack.

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTT!!!

"Hahah!" he chuckled "i think i just ruined my undies"

[elodieunderglass]

I just wanted to say, i'm SO READY to buy the jockey-romcom-family-drama-horse-sad-story book when it comes out, you have no idea.

(In reference to Killie the Jockey OC and his complicated little life)

Well, thank you so much! I called that incredibly kind and supportive of you, because you are by no means obligated, and I truly appreciate your encouragement.

I’m a new believer that when you are seized by a radiant alien urge to create, then you have been touched by something beautiful and genuine and true, and that you should graciously accept the gift, and follow it where it brings you. That’s why I keep finding myself writing fanfiction, despite constantly saying that I’m Not Sure How Important It Is As A Hobby (I Need To Weed The Allotment Instead). Sometimes you get possessed by an idea, and enter that spirit of flow and power, and wake up a few hours later having written the story - you know how that is? I increasingly believe that you have to say YES to this, and follow it where it’s going, even if it seems somewhere pointless or silly, and you can’t immediately see how it’s a better use of your time than weeding your actual material allotment. But I’ve been thinking about it since the summer, and now I think that being this kind of Possessed is a bit of a gift, and if you take it, and then give it to others in the spirit that you received it - freely, and with generosity and courage, and with no more expectation of reward than a wild animal expects another sunset - then you get more gifts. So we should do this!!

That being said, I’ve got no damned idea how to write a book.

Here’s what I think is probably involved:

Finish my two existing WIPs and the outstanding fundraising work for the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund

Have fun with Killie asks for now, because they are FUN and a GIFT

Do my damndest and best in my free time to turn a whole folder of years-old Killie nonsense into three novellas that are also one book.

Hopefully have some friends willing to do this with me, ideally as parallel play with their own tasks, so we can throw eggs at each other

Hire and pay an editor who is brave and true, and who knows how to write a book.

Hire and pay sensitivity readers who are brave and true, so that Jewish and Irish characters remain brave and true: also ideally someone who knows more than me about horse racing, so that nobody forgets about the blood-soaked Problematic Sport.

Work out some self-publishing mechanism by which I don’t have to care about Marketing, or the fact that sad-drama-romcom-messy-sports-fantasy isn’t a marketing genre. Or that people who see that there’s a gay relationship might be expecting Romance.

I will simply be saying HERE IS A GHASTLY LITTLE MAN, BEING TRAMPLED BY 20-30 BUSINESS HORSES. take it or leave it

Include the Killie comics in the books.

Take advice from cleverer people on correct Authorial Behavior, which I believe to be things like being very cool and distant about your work on social media. (Will have to check this.)

Fantasy stretch goal: make enough money from the book to earn back what I paid the editor and sensitivity readers (unlikely but always possible)

Sounds like a fun project for spring/summer if I scramble!

I will be very brave and do this, as a promise and a gift and a privilege.

I would love it if you would be brave with me this year and do something similar too.

[alphajocklover]

I've grown....tired of my life. Like, it's the same pointless thing day after day. Caring so much about making the world better. I work a sad little non profit. Living in the big city and making little money. I haven't been on a date with a gay in over a year. Straight guys have it so much easier. Sometimes I wish I was more like them...dumb... obnoxious and loud...always having some crude joke....hehe....that'd be fun...to be some loudmouth hot as hell straight comedian or some famous straight actor who could get away with whatever he wanted because he was dumb, hot and young. Like maybe a lean muscular dude or a big bodybuilding buff guy. It wouldn't matter just as long as you make me some obnoxious hot straight asshole.

You say you’re tired of your life… but I don’t think tired is the right word. The word tired suggests you‘ve used up all your energy, that you’ve reached the end of your endurance and need to stop. That’s not what’s happening here. You aren’t tired, you’re restless. It’s not that you’ve used up all your energy, it’s that you haven’t used any of it. You’ve been standing still, living the same life the same way for too long now, and now all that energy you were supposed to be using to be a real man has built up so much you’re about to burst, and as silly as it sounds I’m not speaking in metaphors. Masculinity has its own, literal, actual energy.

Not much is known about it. It’s been called a number of things throughout the years, one of the best known and crudest nicknames being ‘Big Dick Energy’. But what we do know is that it’s real, and you’ve built up quite a lot of it. That happens sometimes, when someone generates said energy but doesn’t actually use it by doing anything manly. See, every guy generates some, jocks generate a lot, sissys generate a little, and most people use just as much as they generate. But not you. You haven’t been using any of your energy, so it’s built up inside you and now… it’s going to burst out. From what you’ve told me it seems like you’re already experiencing the first symptoms. An urge to act manly, toxic and obnoxious. But that’s just the beginning. Soon the buildup will become too much, and it’ll take over.

The transformation will be almost instant. You’ll beef up, dumb down, and lose yourself in pure, toxic masculinity. It’ll come off of you in waves, and you’ll feel like it’s the greatest high of your life. But like every high it won’t last forever. Eventually, probably after a few weeks of fucking sluts and beating up nerds, you’ll run out of energy and go back to you’re regular self, probably confused and strangely horny. That doesn’t mean you’ll never see your straight douchebag self again. Once you’re overloaded by masculine energy once, it’s easier for it to happen again. Not only that, the next time it happens it’ll happen longer.

You could try to keep it from happening again. Do something manly regularly, something simple like watching sports or working out. Or you could let it happen again. Keep turning into a straight jock for longer and longer, until eventually you completely overload on it and end up like that permanently. Whatever choice you make, I’m sure you won’t be tired of your life anymore.

[auckie]

Neil gaiman is such a fucking hack. All he does is ride off Terry pratchets coattails, gets. I really hate the word cuck but idk how else to describe the Amanda Palmer situation. Cucked by women and regurgitates that into flat one dimensional characters. Queer baits and panders to trashy online YA level drivel types. He’s the definition of the word fandom. If men like his garbage they’re always the kind of guy who has a beard and lets you know he has a beard. He probably owns a kilt despite not being remotely Scottish. Funko pop owner for sure, has a mini tardis and probably that dr who scarf. A pentagram tattoo, maybe some runes.

And like. Neil gaiman is a capable writer do not get me wrong. But his idea of creative writing is theorizing about how the afterlife is all bureaucracy bc that’s never been done by a bitter atheist. It’s always secularly Christian too isn’t it? I mean i guess that’s what he knows.

So im saying this knowing that he’s not solely responsible for it, really, and having read the comics and not enjoyed them at all but continued to have done so out of some weird sense of obligation, I’m very angry to admit that I’m enjoying the stupid Netflix production of dead boy detectives. It is absolutely a mishmash of other similar cw-type shows, but that’s just the thing. I eat that shit up. Riverdale, Sabrina, teen dramas with obnoxious editing and low brow production value. I even liked the second season of good omens despite like, hating a solid 40% of the secondary character and plot direction. It’s sorta like eating little Debbie cakes yknow? Or binging reality tv.

DBDA is better than all that, like it’s a crust above but it’s wrapped in the trappings of really shitty things, and whenever it manages to be a bit better it’ll sink a smidge lower by referencing its ilk or doing exactly what you’d expect of it.

Whenever I see the ‘two skinny whitish boys with obvious sexual tension and an annoying women in the middle’ I stop and ask myself— does this writer have a track record of making the same dynamic.

An obnoxious woman is not a bad thing. She can be a good thing even, but if she’s a mirror image of a million other toxic characters that indicates two things: projection, or a formula. Especially when paired between two male characters that clearly interact in ways that urge the audience to say ‘they should kiss!’

Then she becomes an obstacle. It’s rare for a character in this role to rise above the narrative, and even rarer for authors to try and write one capable of that.

A lot of fans will see people hating on her and cry ‘misogyny!’ Instead of asking why she was written, and why hundreds of other past iterations and future clones of her continue to be written. A similar character is the empty lesbian who stands in both popular media and fanfiction to prove that the author is not just obsessing over gay men and throws a bone to the supposed lesbian audience as well.

And then you have the flat poc or other LBT, sometimes disabled characters who serve to act as a tick mark off a checklist. It’s lazy, it’s annoying. But that’s a whole different can of vaguely related worms

[ruins-of-tragedy]

Thoughts on season one's episode four to seven of RWBY coming right up... Or down I guess.

Season 01 Episode 04: The First Step - Pt I

- I am so happy that I can sing along to some of the song now. One of them monsters has a yellow coloured tip on it's tail. Didn't notice that before.

- So, Ruby's symbol is a rose. Weiss has the snowflake in her corner. Both Blake and Yang have something akin to flames, but of different colours and shapes. Blake's thing looks more like a flame to be honest. Yang's is almost a heart Hmmm.

- The girl is a morning person. The guy isn't. Both of them are me somehow. These two also show up in the opening and ending together with Jaune and the red-kinda-like-fire-dressed lady.

- Also, the boy here has magenta eyes. And a hair stripe of the same colour. Nice.

- Nora and Ren. The former is crushing, ain't she? And do they have a major height difference? Maybe it was the angle of the shot.

- No social interactions anymore. Ruby just wants to ride into the sunset with her weapon. Mood... Is this the arc where we learn about the importance of teamwork and people alongside her?

- "I don't need people to help me grow up. I drink milk!" Yes. You tell them kid.

- Yang doesn't want to be on Ruby's team. Typical big sister energy. I have that urge too sometimes.

- Jaune finishing a "nice and quirky" girl's sentence? More likely than you think.

- So red-kinda-like-fire-dressed lady is Pyrrha. Strong and well-known. Can't decipher her origins yet. Seems Greek to me, for whatever reason... Is she supposed to be Hestia?! Moi's favourite goddess from the Greek pantheon.

- Weiss wants her in her own corner. And she is scheming already about a good life alongside her. LoLLL!

- Okay, why is this soliloquy from Weiss me as a kid thinking about getting a best friend for life? Nothing gay going on at all... Oh my Gods. She literally says, "Nothing could come between us now!" 😂👏🏻

- Jaune is jinx for Weiss it seems. Am pretty sure Pyrrha is actually fond of him. She is the only one so far who waved at him willingly. Or maybe she was just being polite.

- "Hot stuff." "Snow angel." WoW.

- Weiss really is smart. She realised what would get Jaune to recognise Pyrrha after only two attempts. Kudos!

- I liked the cereal box animation bit. Gave me a good giggle.

- Pyrrha is so nice. Jaune thinks he has more game than he actually does. Should read up on personal space though. Ooooooh! That spear throw from Pyrrha was badass!

- "Ladykiller." Yeah, the ladies want to kill themselves often when he comes around. Jokes! 😂

- Is Ozpin sick or something? Every time I see him well enough, he has a cup in his hand. Granted I have only seen him thrice, but during two of those times he was drinking from a cup and walking around merrily. The initiation speech was the only time I saw him actively using what looks to be a cane. He didn't seem very energetic then, as noted by Yang and Ruby. Too early to actually lock in on this though.

- Emerald forest. Cute.

- Ruby's worst nightmare is coming true. Jaune's attempt at a question was the tree in the jungle no one saw fall. And they will be graded on their journey through the woods and could die in the process... I want to be in this world.

- Jaune. My friend. It's kind-of a drop off. Look around. You missed Yang putting on her aviators moments before being catapulted. So cool.

- The Blake ending. Tune was nice. Very, expect something to come soon.

Season 01 Episode 05: The First Step - Pt II

- Rocking along to the opening song.

- Ruby smashed across a winged creature on her way down. Hope that birdie wasn't uncle Qrow. 😆

- The scythe landing technique was nice. Weiss has snowflake steps. Ren uses his gun very well. Yang is handblasting her gauntlets to fly through the sky. Pyrrha warrior princess-ed a path in. AND assisted Jaune. Gods, she is good... Yang seemed to be the only one having fun though. The aviators make a lot more sense now.

- How did Blake and Nora get in? Me wants to know!

- The mental juggling Ruby is doing as she runs... Funny and many people's everyday reality. Probably different circumstances though. I hope.

- The figures in her head are so unserious. Great for comedic value at least! Blake's "so mysterious, so calm" face is giving major 'Hey mamas' vibes.

- So Ruby's choices so far are her own sister. The incompetent nice guy. The anti-social bibliophile. And...

- Of course it's the mean girl Ruby ends up paired with... "The world needs the selfless and the selfish to keep spinning." 😭

- Oh my Gods. Is this Weiss' version of 'stuck between a rock and a hard place?'

- Ruby's celebratory hurrah on getting Weiss as a partner might not last long, but mine probably will. 😁

- Jaune should be asking for team spots on Pyrrha's side. But still, cute!

- When did Ruby become the roadrunner, Weiss would like to know.

- Grimm monster's here. Weiss is alone. Ooooooh. Things mayhaps be getting interesting.

- Yang's ending. Exciting music. Makes me want to do a montage planning a revolution.

Season 01 Episode 06: The Emerald Forest - Pt I

- RWBY opening. My beloved.

- The monster is not Yang's sister. The other monster is also not Ruby. And they both get hit by Yang.

- Complained so bad Yang is teasing them now.

- Ahhhh. Her hair is precious. One strand out, and not only does the perpetrator go down but some trees around them as well. Junior's fate is shrouded in more darkness now.

- Blake did the other monster a favour by saving it from Yang's wrath.

- Her ensuing smirk and Yang's answer... New partner alert! AGHHHHHHHHH! It's happening!!!!

- Weiss being so technical about her stance and stuff could mean she hasn't had much time training with actual monsters.

- Ruby and Weiss' teamwork so good, they only needed one hit to bring down an entire group of monsters AND some chunk of the jungle... without even meaning to do that. 😂

- Sending my prayers to the collateral damage the forest is withstanding. And the noise pollution it needs to tolerate, courtesy of Ruby and Weiss.

- Slicing down the tree in anger was such an alpha male move. I support a woman in male dominated fields. Go Ruby!

- That feather is huge. Is that from a monster?

- I am loving the reversal of gender roles between Jaune and Pyrrha. The damsel in distress man and the competent protector lady. Considering this came out in 2013, good on the folks behind the show for making this a thing. Chef's kiss!

- Ooooooh! Exposition... "It bears our burdens and shields our hearts." I guess I don't have no soul. My aura would be working overtime otherwise.

- Ren vs a big snek. Aura Person vs Creature of Grimm. Manifestation of soul vs Manifestation of anonymity. Light vs Darkness.

- It's interesting how just as Pyrrha talks about understanding light and darkness, 'cause everyone has some of both, a white snek comes along. Also a Grimm creature, from the looks of it. Hmmm.

- Essentially, bare your soul. Project yourself. Turn your aura into a forcefield... Man, they really are coming for the arses of emotionally unavailable people.

- Hope Ren's okie... WHOA. This guy pulled out some serious ancient art moves with his magenta-pink(?) aura. Blasted a snek's head off. NOICE!!!

- The fact that Jaune didn't immediately assume Pyrrha was going to kiss him is good character development! 😂 Jokes aside though, Pyrrha used her own aura to unlock Jaune's? She is such a good person...

- White aura Jaune. Red aura Pyrrha.

- "You have a lot of it." Am sure Jaune's mum probably wondered why he had so much energy at least a few times. 😆

- A wild sloth appears. Ren doubts her choice of animal noise. The sloth uses the 'boop' maneuver to counteract this claim.

- The Jaune and Pyrrha ending. The music is almost EDM like here.

Season 01 Episode 07: The Emerald Forest - Pt II

- Yes, am ready for a revolution!

- Pairs have been formed and Madam Glynda has thoughts... I have none 'cause she so pretty.

- Nora Valkyrie and Lie Ren. Norse myths and I think Chinese background... Nora's inspiration is apparent. Can't figure out Ren's... They do have such cool names though. NOICE!

- Of course Jaune is a good student. And Ozpin is really invested in Ruby. Hmmm.

- Weiss' sky high pride meet Ruby's rising irritation... Ooooof. That spat was unnecessary. Don't be so rude Weiss. You really don't know Ruby.

- Blake and Yang are the first ones to make it?! Dream team!!! Go sapphics, go!!!

- The temple's a chessboard. Huh.

- Jaune and Pyrrha enter a cave (Why does this sound like an opening for a joke?)... Jaune's only contribution has been extinguished 'cause he clumsy. Warmth in places dark... Good sign?

- Yang and Blake decide on taking a pony. Equestrian folks would appreciate it.

- The chesspieces have yellow and black toppers. Huh.

- Jaune confused the yellow-tip of a monster for the relic. Classic. His girlish screams are doing something to Blake. Is this PTSD?

- The cave has a drawing of a scorpion being forced in. Oh Gods. I think there was similar art when Pyrrha and Jaune were entering initially. Either this is actually funny or I am too tired.

- Jaune goes flying out, Ruby comes flying in. Wonder what happened there.

- The Ren and Nora ending. Sounds a little like a spy theme. Huh. I didn't realise they showed symbols in the end credits as well. Ren's is like a leaf. Or is it a flower. And Nora's reminds me of a hammer. But with a needle on both ends of the part with which you hit. Hmmm.

(You spoil me, I spoil your life.

Them's the rules. So don't do it. Farewell!)

[lucky-draws]

btw hi guys. [blows a cloud of dust into your face]. i miss being on here regularly but such is life. hope everypony is continuing to sparkle on. a few updates from me and the team. (?) longtime followers may be mourning the mgs content. as am i. but unfortunately i think i need at least another year before i can start to feel insane about mgs again. im kind of all metal geared out. those 2-3 years i spent being obsessed with it are kind of a distant fever dream now. it remains always in my heart brain and pussy forever but i'm just not in mgs mode right now. the ocie that lives in my brain is hibernating for a while. don't worry he's nice and warm and i have stocked up on tuna and wet food.

i guess my current interest is iwtv so you can expect to see some more of that. (a while back i watched the show then watched the film then read several of the books and now that ive recently caught up with s2 im back in vampire mode. i prefer the tv show versions of the characters so sorry but you won't be seeing me draw t*m cru*se lestat or ginger armand. i do enjoy the books though. when i go home at xmas i'll have them to hand and flicking though them again might spark me into feeling even more crazy.)

i keep wanting to draw more dr who stuff but never getting round to it but i remain optimistic that i will do at some point. who knows. "WHO" knows ! . ha ha.

i also very recently got into bbc cult sci-fi sitcom red dwarf (1988-present) and im feeling the urge to draw some red dwarf stuff (for the handful of people who care) because it's extremely silly and what this blog and indeed myself need is a return to silliness. so if i suddenly start drawing d lister and gay rimmer and their funny friends you've been warned.

i sort of want to draw more random stuff outside of frequent interests tbh. like ive been watching/rewatching a lot of movies lately and id kind of like to draw bits and bobs pertaining to various movies whenever the whim strikes. so if i suddenly put withnail and the titular i on your dash you have also been warned of this.

however i should say that regardless of what i am drawing i might not be able to post often because unfortunately i have a bit more of a life now than i did previously. i socialise a bit and go to the pub with friends sometimes this sort of thing. it's quite jolly id recommend. i also might be working after xmas on top of uni work so i don't know if ill have time to draw much. i want to though. so i probably will anyway. fuck my grades. #cool

anyway i think this concludes my message. basically thank you to all followers old and new for being here. let's continue to stay silly together. happy holidays etc.

lucky

Lucky D. Raws | CEO of SillyBlogging

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[yaksinhats]

aaaa I love Arthur!! (very much a Paladin Durge enjoyer)

does Arthur ever drop the "goody-toe shoes paladin" act at any point or does it start becoming genuine? is he keen on embracing Bhaal or is he less eager about the whole "inseperable from Bhaal" thing by the time he gets to Act 3 and... y'know, actually has an identity seperate from Bhaal?

First off, aaa thank you so much!! (As anyone can tell from looking at my blog for more than 5 seconds) big durge paladin enjoyer myself, I think there’s a lot of juicy stuff to really dig into making durge that class.

Secondly — these are fantastic questions! Thank you so much for sending me this ask it gave me a good opportunity to write out some thoughts, and write I did! These really get at the crux of his character, and so my answer is a bit long winded, hopefully it is not too much of a bore to read. Put all this under the cut, because it is like I said… long winded.

To fully answer these questions, I want to start by breaking down the way I talk about my durge.

There are three sections of his life —

1. Pre being brought into the cult of bhaal (named Eliànder Daenan by his mortal adoptive parents)

2. Living in the cult of Bhaal (Named The Dark Urge and Karis by Bhaal) (side note: he makes a notable escape attempt during this time, but that’s a discussion for later)

3. Post nauteloid and amnesia (Named Arthur by himself)

My take on these different sections of his life is that, despite everything he has experienced, amnesia, being functionally kidnapped into an apocalyptic death cult, etc etc, he is, at a fundamental level, the same person. However, his life circumstances are so different in each phase of his life that Eliander, Karis, and Arthur, often have drastically different and wildly contradictory outlooks on life and how they view themselves.

For example — Arthur and Karis are both yearning for normalcy. Karis is yearning for normalcy he has lost, and Arthur is yearning for a normalcy he never had. It shows in the way they dress — Arthur’s paladin fit is what he is most comfortable wearing, while Karis’ simple (and gay af) shirt pants belt and boots are what he is most comfortable wearing. They are both wearing costumes of the men they want to be.

They are also both (and Eliander, but in a much more “normal” way) deeply drawn to the philosophy of Cyric, the god of lies, religion, but that’s a tangent for another time.

So to break this down more, I’ll start with Karis. At 80 years old (I’m treating this as the equivalent of elf 16, and saying elves come to maturity at 100), he essentially is violently kidnapped from his family and tortured into becoming the chosen one of an apocalyptic murder cult. All good durge stuff! Without getting too into specifics, the way I’ve thought about it is this he’s suddenly brought into a situation where, if he denies his “true nature”, he is tortured. If he accepts his “true nature”, he is treated like God Himself and given near absolute power over the people who have been torturing him. (& On top of all that, they keep feeding him human flesh and…. It tastes really good. This is pretty hard to ignore evidence that these people might be making some points).

All that to say, Karis starts living pretty quickly with this insane cognitive dissonance. He quickly takes up the mantle of The Dark Urge to end his own torture. He’s doing all this to try to preserve his sense of self, but the only way he can see to do that is by internalizing the ideas that the cult keeps pushing on him that there is no real difference between him and Bhaal. It’s very, very messy. At his worst moments, he genuinely believes he is Bhaal. At his best, he clearheadedly sees this as a lie necessary to his survival, and how he feels about it can completely change from one minute to the next.

The one thing that remains constant in all of this is that Karis always hates Bhaal, and yearns for any opportunity to rebel or defy him. He just also sometimes thinks he is Bhaal.

Arthur, on the flip side, does not understand any of his life circumstances. All he knows is that there is something very different about him than other people, and is wildly overcorrecting in a desperate attempt to fit in.

The paladin guise is started without much thought — the tabard is the armor he was fitted with before being sent out of moonrise, and he has his wits around him enough to hide his amnesia from (most) of his companions. He knows he doesn’t know shit, doesn’t want to be taken advantage of, and, working with the tools at hand, spins together a lie of fake paladin order.

It works out pretty well for him, all things considered! It turns out paladins are Respected Authority Figures, and this makes bossing people around pretty easy in some circumstances.

Then Arthur is caught red handed in Alfira’s guts, and he learns the hard way what he already suspected — he needs to convince the band of travelers he’s found himself that he is not enough of a threat to be killed or exiled — especially when he learns his freedom is dependent on Shadowheart’s mysterious artefact.

And so he leans hard into the Goody-Two-Shoes paladin routine. He can sometimes convince strangers and passerbys he fits the bill, but he knows he can no longer convince his companions he actually is the heroic paladin who has it all together. So he settles for trying to pretend to be someone who wants to be a “good paladin” or at least wishes he was.

I’ve joked a few times Karis & Arthur are very bard coded paladins, and it’s because at the heart of it, they love to perform, and to them, their oath is an act. Arthur’s not thinking about it this way, but at the end of the day, he loves getting to play the part of the dashing hero. It’s fun. It’s silly. He gets to be stupid and goofy, hoist his sword in the air and claim to be rallying people in the name of justice. And most of all, he gets to pretend for a little bit he isn’t categorically evil and doomed to a life of exile if is true nature is revealed! What a thought! On top of that, when he pulls it off, people like him. He thinks he’s doing a bit, and eventually becomes slightly horrified to learn that he actually likes the bit, and has made the bit his whole personality.

I’m sure you can speculate as to where that might end up for him.

& I think that answers your question about if the act ever becomes genuine. As for Arthur, and what he thinks about Bhaal —

Arthur likes violence. He likes murder, and he likes cannibalism. He enjoys them, and when he thinks he can get away with them, he often tries to. But like I said earlier regarding Alfira — he quickly learns he needs to keep his urges under tight control. If anything like Alfira ever happens again — he could be easily cast from the group, become a cultist or a mindflayer, or just get outright killed by one of his companions who will not tolerate unwarranted bloodshed. (Cough cough, Lae’zel).

Also — he hates being told what to do.

So when Bhaal comes in and tries to force his hand, even though Arthur barely understands what is happening, and does not know this is Bhaal, Arthur rebels, and Arthur rebels hard.

Arthur is someone who was always going to reject Bhaal — but not because he thinks his actions as durge are morally reprehensible. And so when he’s free, well, it creates a bit of an interesting situation.

I hope that very long winded explanation answers your question, and again, thank you so much for sending in the ask! I had a lot of fun typing this all up. If you want to read more, my coauthor inkymouse on ao3 and I write Astarion fic where we use Arthur as our deuteragonist durge (its what that dialogue snippet form earlier is from). We actually just finished part one, which spans the first two weeks of the tadpole gang’s travels together post natueloid crash, and you can read it here!

[wrenrogue]

The first time Kenma heard Kuroo’s laugh, he thought is was the loudest most annoying thing he’d ever heard.

It was bizarre since his new neighbor had been really quiet up until then, quieter than him. So it took him by surprise when Kuroo guffawed with glee when the dirty volleyball landed in between his arms covering his sweater in muddy water, instead of bouncing off them like intended.

Kenma didn’t think much of it until Kuro only got louder with time and so did his laugh. He would laugh at everything, including when their volleyball would accidentally smack him in the face during practice.

It was annoying. Kuro was annoying. Kuro and his laugh were annoying.

And as they grew up, Kenma got to see Kuro annoying everyone else with his obnoxious donkey laugh. How he had a hard time staying quiet sometimes from finding something too funny. How he would get scolded by his grandmother for his laugh-induced coughing fits and almost throwing up on the furniture.

How Kuro had a phase where he invented himself an evil laugh and pretended to be evil around their neighborhood. How despite being “evil," when he accidentally broke his neighbor’s flower pot, he apologized profusely and took out his life savings (1000 yen) to try to buy her a new one.

And then Kuro met Bokuto.

Kuro honestly was polite, perceptive and had a high sense of self-control when he wasn’t laughing his ass off being a bastard to a poor victim. Kenma would’ve ditched him long ago if Kuro was just a high energy party animal with non-existent tact.

Somehow Bokuto loosened his self-control a bit too much though. They were loud together, had a ton of fun doing so too. But Kenma just wanted to play his games in peace and it was hard with Bokuto hey hey heying and Kuro’s taunting happening right beside him.

Kenma was truly the most miserable teenager in existence; he wondered if his misery would ever end. And then Kenma met Akaashi the year after and he thought he finally found solidarity in knowing someone else was plagued by their louder friends being idiots together.

What he found instead was Akaashi radiating the gay in massive amounts whenever he was around Bokuto that Kenma’s gaydar shattered irreparably. Kenma once told Kuro this, and like expected he turned into a hyena.

Kenma thought it wasn’t all bad when this happened, that Kenma was responsible for making Kuro laugh so loud. That he created that joy for him.

Kenma can’t really say Kuro’s laugh was always obnoxious. Because there were good things about it too. Like how Kuro’s eyes would crinkle at the edges or how Kenma was always flashed with all his pearly white teeth from that big mouth of his. Or how he’d turn red from laughing way too hard for way too long.

How Kuro, despite having a loud-as-fuck laugh, also had many other ones that were quieter, but just as effective. Like when he snickered at Kenma’s quips to other people and how he giggled at every joke Kenma told him. How sometimes his laugh was infectious and Kenma had no other choice but to laugh too.How Kuro had this particularly quiet breathy laugh that Kenma wasn’t sure how to describe, but that it was nice to hear anyway. How Kenma was many times the reason for that laugh to begin with.

The year Kuro’s gone to college, things didn't get any quieter, but the loud things weren't things Kenma liked to hear. Kuro’s laugh had always been obnoxious, but Kenma’s grown to kinda like it. If only because it belonged to Kuro.

If only Kuro was there to laugh at him for being so sappy. But he was far away and studying for tests instead of bothering him to practice a new special move near their bridge.

Kuro called Kenma that night out of the blue telling him he had the urge to bother him. “you’re not bothering me” kenma had said prompting a chuckle, something he missed hearing.

“how are you?” Kuro asked

“I…(miss you) played metal gear today”

“haven’t played that in years, let me borrow it next time I’m home”

“when will you be home?”

“aww kenma-kun misses me"

“shut up. my mom asked me earlier”

“riiiiiiight”

“i’m gonna hang up now”

Kuro cackled from the other end, and somehow kenma’s heart grew a little lighter.

Kenma joins Kuro at uni and their routine intertwines as is the nature of their friendship. But there’s a problem.

The thing about Kuro is that he was kinda objectively good-looking. Kenma wasn't dumb, he’d seen the entire student body ogling him from afar.

it’s kinda hard not to when Kuro was so tall, well built with a handsome face and even though his hair was always stupid, it looked good on him. Kenma was kinda mad at that honestly. How his childhood friend grew up into such a dreamboat with a foghorn attached. If he would’ve known sooner, he would’ve ditched him immediately.

Kenma thought this even more when his stomach wouldn't stop flipping like a pancake when Kuro started guffawing at his own corny jokes during breakfast, because since when did he find Kuro's laugh so attractive???

It gets worse. And it gets worse, and the years keep coming and they don’t stop coming. and Kuro's laugh gets more attractive and Kenma would just like to kiss him to shut him up once and for all. But he can't. All he could do was let the butterflies destroy his stomach as he stared dreamily at his best friend when he wasn't looking. He thinks he likes staring at Kuro more when he’s busy working on his things.

He was currently trying to apply to the JVA, said he wanted to make sure everything was perfect so Kuro was hunched over his laptop updating his linkedin account and kenma like a fool, watched as Kuro stuck his tongue out in concentration as he typed out his credentials, how he would randomly squint and make faces at whatever he was concentrating on, how he had a pen behind his ear despite the fact that he didn’t need to write anything down. How he was still in his pjs because he had stayed over at kenma’s house again and was too lazy to find any of his other clothes in kenma’s closet.

And kenma couldn’t handle seeing all that so he got up, only to come back to slide a plate of cut up fruit next to his best friend, because he hadn’t seen him eat anything since noon and he needed to eat.

Kuro turned to look at him, asked him “What for?” and kenma only shrugged. In response Kuro gave him a quiet breathy giggle and thanked him for the snack. kenma knows then that he’s completely head over heels fucked.

When Kuro gets the phone call that he got the job at the JVA, Kenma was there to see the glee write itself all over Kuro's face as he thanked the caller for giving him the opportunity.

He was there as Kuro joyfully celebrated his success, how he was loud, how Kenma couldn't help but celebrate too. How Kuro picked him up to twirl him around. How the excitement got to him enough that when he was back on the ground, he didn’t let Kuro go, instead bringing him down at eye-level to tell him “You did it” and kissing him on the lips.

Kenma’s not sure why he hadn’t thought of doing that sooner. He thinks Kuro’s laugh tastes sweeter than he imagined. Kenma’s not exactly sure when his own laugh got so loud. He thinks it’s probably Tetsurou’s influence.

Though he finds that he doesn’t really mind, especially when he laughs along side him as they reach more milestones together. Like when Tetsu became a staple in his streams, that they end up having a segment together. Like when Tetsurou kissed him feather light down his neck just to tickle him. Like when Tetsurou proposed to him the same day he was going to propose to him too. Like during their wedding and Tetsurou somehow got cake in his hair.

Like when they got a bigger house together and their friends helped them paint each room and lev got paint all over his face. Like when Tetsu lets their daughter give him makeovers and she makes sure his cheeks are as pink as possible. Like when their son learned to walk and immediately learned chasing their cat was a fun pastime. Like when Tetsu lets him hold him in bed while they giggle at how long it took them to get together.

Kenma remembers thinking Tetsu’s laugh was loud and stupid. He still thinks so, but he wouldn't want it any other way. Especially when he gets to experience all other laughs Tetsu has to offer, including the shy little giggle he does when kenma tells him he loves him before kissing him quiet.

[chlochette-sunde]

1x08 - Bugs

Score: 2

OK, another 2-points episode but I guess I'm not the only one because even Kripke doesn't like it (also talked about by Tyler Johnston in R2's Then and Now). BUT there's still much to say and analyze!

First of all: parallels. It's very obvious here because of bad writing: Sam sees himself in the young boy Matt. They both think they're a disappointment to their father. Matt for being a freak because of his interest in bugs. Sam for wanting to be normal in a very strange family. They even share the same hairstyle (before Tyler Johnston comes back as Samandriel).

At the climax, Matt tries to reason with his father, as Sam did in the past with his own father (both times against Dean's advices) and both times ended up in strong quarrels.

In the end, Matt abandons his hobby (quite a harsh moral of the story because of bad writing and you should neve junk living animals, even bugs) and reconciliates with his father. And Sam wants to apologize to his father.

The dynamic with Dean is interesting: they have opposite views on their father. Sam thinks they had a jacked education, whereas Dean loved their childhood. But Dean watched his mother die, and knows their father is also deeply affected by it, when Sam was too young to remember it. Dean has developped a deep understanding of people: they sometimes do bad stuff out of love, and you gotta learn to love them back despite everything, because loved ones can die and disappear at any time.

Apart from that, two weird things happened in the episode: Sam drove the Impala half the time, and they used umbrellas (as noticed by my partner in rewatch @youchangedmedestiel). I guess they were still adjusting what Supernatural was.

1x08 in a nutshell:

Score in details:

Dean is bi: 3 pts

He watches Oprah, a talk show in which Ellen came out, and which received complaints for discussing the sexual act of "rimming". Sam doesn't.

When a real estate agent implies they look like a gay couple, Dean feels the urge to specify they're brothers. Sam doesn't.

And... how many straight men, with short hair, wear towels like this?

First introduction of beloved characters/guests/well known actors: 2 pts

Tyler Johnston (our future Samandriel) and Jim Byrnes (Highlander series ❤️)

Banger quotes: 2 pts

"Honest/Fun and easy. It's no contest."

"We had a plan, Matt, what happened to the plan?"

Bonus: 3 pts

Direction (RIP Kim Manners).

Sound effects. They save the episode. They make us hear what special/practical effects can't make us see.

The bees are well done, considering what they had to go through.

Malus: 8 pts. Yes. That was that bad.

The brothers park at Oklahoma gas & power company building and the first guy they meet happens to be the one they're looking for: Travis Weaver.

There’s the promise of seeing Sam going down the hole where a guy died. They even make a long dialog about it between the brothers. And then, the scene is skipped.

Sam is talking with Linda Bloome until he sees a spider about to reach her hand. He interrupts the conversation and she just goes like "okay!" and out of the scene. How rude of Sam. And then, Sam instantly knows who the spider belongs to. This is so badly written.

Linda Bloome's death is ridiculous. Her character is really gratuitously disrespected.

We can see the spiders are fake, made of plastic.

The brothers found skeletons in an unmarked grave, then don't talk about it while they're driving, but only once parked in town??

Students found skeletons and brought them to their professor and he just answers their questions? He doesn't redirect them to the fucking police?? And he knows how old the bones are by simply looking at them??

Dean is ridiculous with his bug spray. I can't believe the whole crew approved this episode.

One moment, it's midnight. 10min later, it's dawn. Fortunately, it's the end of the episode...