#sometimes there are just things i see and i have the urge to say ‘gay.’

[twildflower]

[kyri45]

✨ShadowPeach Bio Parents Bio AU Q&A! 17/11✨

Welcome to the Q&A! A space where I can answer related or similar question about the Shadowpeach Bio Parents AU! If you submitted your ask anonimously, then you’ll have to check the whole post if it’s answered here, if it’s not, worry not! Your asks might have been used for a future comic or just in the queue~

Anonimo ha chiesto: (Baby Mk trying to wake up macaque) Macaque: Wukong your son's awake Wukong: Before sunrise he's your son. Lol lion King reference

Aaaaaaahhh I love it! I was thinking the same!

Anonimo ha chiesto: I wonder if MK is experiencing any other Yaoguai urges? Besides his crush instincts and fun Monkey habits and behaviors.

mmmmm I think he mostly sometimes starts a tantrum in monkey style, where he starts to move a lot and jumps around

Anonimo ha chiesto: So like do macaque and wukong have rings or anything like now I think it would be cute if they renewed their vow.

I think I need to go study traditional chinese weddings traditions

l@ovingshadowpeaches ha chiesto: Ohhh my gosh i finally have the balls to send you this ask!! I adore your shadowpeach bio parents AU SO SO SO MUCH, your art style is so satisfying and mesmerising to look at, the plot is chefs kiss and I hope you know I LOVE all the soysauce duo content i am being fed and our Macaque introject adores it because the MK he knows is his son and your comic makes him feel a lot more valid and closer to his boy, your comic is so comforting to both him and me. I can't wait to see how it all plays out and I can't express enough how much we love love this comic!! All the love!!! GAH!!!

awww tysm for your ask!!!! :')

Anonimo ha chiesto: I think that is hilarious that macaque yoinked the great sage. Also other demons jealous Mac?!?! I need more jealous mac. I can only imagine it went like, Here is a basket of delicious peaches for your enjoyment. Excuse me while I go beat the shit out this demon for trying to take you away (Not that they could even if they got past Macaque).

hehe meanwhile Wukong's ego grows tenfold

Anonimo ha chiesto: SHADOWPEACH BIO PARENT AU The last question had me saying: what was Pigsy's and Tang's reaction to Mk's l̶o̶v̶e̶r̶ crush on Red Son? And also the court napping thing?

I think at first they didn't believe it, then they realized what happened, and didn't know wheter being shocked or not since they should have absolutely saw it coming.

@vex--lynn ha chiesto: Do you find it crazy how much you've affected the Fandom, like you've taken it by storm! It's kinda like when "Garden across our collarbone" took over the Fandom. In the end, we're left crying happy tears. I'm so happy to have found this comic while it was still being made cause I feel like I'm part of the adventure of these crazy monkies! I wish you nothing but the best for you!! <3

BRO u CAN'T JUST PULL OUT THAT NAME AND MINE IN THE SAME CONTEXT. That fic is like an atomic bomb I'm just a humble artist drawing gay monkies.

Anonimo ha chiesto: I just want you to know that your LMK comic is getting me through a really hard time in my life right now. It really helps to have something to smile about and look forward to. Thank you so much for all the recent fluff. It brings me a lot of joy. 💕 Awwww tysm!!

Aww that's so nice to hear!

Anonimo ha chiesto: Okay since mac has 6 sensitive ears... wouldn't be sometimes hard for him...? l mean what if there was very strong noises like fireworks or smt around!? U know what is the best solution for this!! Mac lying down between wukong's arms and put his head on chest and listen to his heartbeat!!! This will absolutely will calm him down right? I WANNA SEE THIS IN YOUR COMICS PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAASS

askjcbaicbasc that's sooooo cute! Maybe, perhaps, in the future, who knows....

Anonimo ha chiesto: Is it slowly building back up to shadowpeach getting back together or? 🤔 idk their relationship status rn

situationship so bad these 2 are sleeping together and have a kid but still are allergic to flirt like normal people.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Got a question about Sun Wukong being trans. I know he probably uses glamour to hide his ✨✨boobies✨✨. But like, is he also using tape or are they kinda just... Out Cause now I'm thinking about the times we've seen him shirtless so like... ???

before he learned to shapeshift he mostly used bandages since that's all he could do at the time. Now MK is teaching him what binders are and he couldn't be more grateful.

@ayrza ha chiesto: I know you may not share it, or even read it, but I need to get it out of me. Do you realize that MK has only had father figures and no mother figures? Which means that the simple word "MAMA" carries too much sentimental weight and that's... 🥹 THIS COULD NOT BE MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN YOU ALREADY MADE IT!!! MY BABY SAID MAMA!!!! 😭✨💖

o my gAAAAHHD I THINK THAT WAS UNINTENTIONAL OF ME BUT THIS CHANGES EVERYTHINGGG

@s-p-r-i-n-g-t-i-m-e ha chiesto: question: what does MK call Pigsy and Tang? Anonimo ha chiesto: I love the new post i am crying 😢 😭 But I do have a question is mac mama and wukong Baba, or is wukong Mama and mac baba this is an important question I have for you???

Pigsy is "Dad" and Tang is "Papa". Mac is "Mama" and Wukong is "Baba"

Anonimo ha chiesto: I’ve seen many many drawings and intereptations of Mac being all piecered, especially on his ears cause if you have six, you gotta use em. Does macaque have any piercings in your au or is his ears too sensitive for that in your mind? Does he like to fidigit with them or any body else?

mmmm he can perfectly have it. I think he would have a few, but only rings and like each of them is far from the others in the lobe area because I can imagine someone with sensitive Hearing wouldn't like to hear the sounds of metal or earrings tingeling every time he moves around.

@alchemical-spill-on-aisle-three ha chiesto: In your shadowpeach comic, is Mei going to help MK with his crush? I just think it would be really funny if they got into hijinks while trying to get MK and Redson together lol

Mei is the one who organized their sparring meetings in the first place. She was Spicynoodle number 1 fan since the beginning.

@straightally2001 ha chiesto: Hmm... if Kai is gonna be MK and Red Son's son does that mean that Nya is gonna be Mei's daughter?

Omg yes. But guys don't tempt me or I might make a "Spicynoodle 50 years later/ninjago crossover" comic the size of the shadowpeach one if we go down this path

Anonimo ha chiesto: If mk is a trans does he still get period?

yes

Anonimo ha chiesto: what is MK’s favorite thing about red boy?

The fact that he tries to hide his emotions but his fire powers reflects them out of his control. MK thinks it's very cute.

Anonimo ha chiesto: So, are you ever going to make a sick episode for the bio dads? I am asking because I am sick, and it would be interesting to see what they are like when sick.

nope sorry. donesn't fit in the current schedule. But MK will go at the hospital at some point if that's of any reassuring.

@sokda-lal-ashes ha chiesto: Do you have why doodles that aren't exactly in the stories but that fits your bio parents au? I love your art so much!! Especially your redson design!!!

Yes but they are spoilers. Sorryyy

Anonimo ha chiesto: Wukong: hay don't forget to eat breakfast. Macaque: what are you talking about I just ate Wukong: you had espresso & anit depressants that is not a meal. Macaque (repeats mocking Wukong) I don't need your judgement I feel like the whole being revived thinks makes macaque sometimes not realize he's hungry or thirsty

ahah how much I relate (I don't take antidepressant but a lot of magnesium bc of mood swings)

@astro-lmk-enjoyer ha chiesto: Wait… if macaque gets his power from a lunar eclipse, does that mean that wukong gets his power from a solar eclipse? Bye <3

Anonimo ha chiesto: Oh so I just had a thought! Since the light hair streaks are being caused by a lunar eclipse because Macaque draws his powers from the moon, is the opposite true for Wukong? Are any of his powers from the sun and would something happen if there was a solar eclipse? Love all the world building in your comics its all so good!!!

mmm I don't think that's how it works.

Anonimo ha chiesto: wait, so since the brotherhood knew about Macaque courtnapping Wukong, did they ever have to witness the monstrosity of cuddles and affection you describe Shadowpeach when they’re together? I could only imagine the awkwardness. Or many they’re totally cool with them being open with each other right in front of them. I know th3 brotherhood won’t show up in your comic as you’ve said before but a fan can only dream.

Oh yeah. O yeah they did.

@shamelesschopshopwasteland ha chiesto: How are Macaque and Wukong? Do they spend time with each other outside of sleeping? (Also I love you AU!!! <3)

Macaque still works from time to time to the Dojo in weekdays, and also likes his alone time, but has been spendind more time with Wukong to help the other monkeys and telling stories about what happened in all those years they missed when they were still enemies.

Anonimo ha chiesto: (I LOVE YOUR ART SM IFDJKEWVJHA, make sure to take breaks!!) Considering Macaque doesn't like the cold. (I love that HC so much, especially because I like to HC that he's freezing 24/7 can only warm up with hot springs and touch but not actual heat/the sun) How would Macaque react in a snowstorm/winter. Would he just bundle up a lot or lock himself in a room or something similar?

3 layers of jackets and self-heating socks when he's going around, otherwise Hot springs every evening.

Anonimo ha chiesto: what other nicknames/pet names does SWK and Macaque have for one another beside peaches and plum?

mmm I think Sun and Moon

@patienceandpokemon ha chiesto: Okay, rip my heart out with happiness in P7 of Monkie trio with the moonlight reveal why don't you?! THANK YOU! But in seriousness, in the latest bit . . Are Mac and MK recharging their shadow powers under the moonlight? Is that why Mac never really attacked in season 1-3 in your AU of LMK, unless there had been a full moon prior? Or am I snowballing into unrelated territory? Anywho, love the comic! He's so fucking fluffy and white like a pearl! And MK, baby fluff!!!!!

Wait he actually did it in the series?? I never noticed!

Anonimo ha chiesto: Soooooo we know Macaque did the courtnapping for shadowpeach so who did the courtnapping for the demon bull family? PIF or DBK👀

I think PIF did?

@boonalina ha chiesto: Question: In your AU, when exactly did Mac and PIF become sworn siblings? Cuz we know Wuk and Mac were sworn bros with DBK, and then DBK "betrayed" them by getting together with PIF. So when exactly would Mac have become sworn siblings with her? Was it like during the time Wukong was under the mountain or smth? Cuz it does seem like Mac drifted apart from the Brotherhood when Wukong was imprisoned.

this is a fandom headcanon, but I believe it was a little after Wukong was imprisoned, and a little after Macaque was revived

[foreingersgod]

what if like you did a CC x reader fic with Good luck, babe! And like reader is like Caitlins gay awakening and stuff…

Good Luck, Babe! . CC

pairing: caitlin clark x reader

synopsis: Good luck, babe! by Chappell roan

A/N: i’m aware that in a good chunk of my cc fics that it starts with reader and cait “just hooking up” or something like that, so i swear this will be the last time i do that 😭😭

It's fine, it's cool

You can say that we are nothing, but you know the truth

the sun peaked through your linen curtains, making your eyes flutter open. you glanced over at your phone, 8:30, and over to the left side of your bed where she laid. she was sleeping peacefully, sheets pulled up to her collarbone, hair spewed in different directions against one of your pillows. she looked so beautiful like this. having her naked, in your bed, was truly a blessed sight to see so you cherished it whenever you could.

as she snored softly, still deep in a dream, you turned over on your side to look at her properly. you let your fingers run across the prominence of her collarbone, toying with the hem of your sheets that hid the rest of her gorgeous body. you watched as her lips parted with each breathe, how her nose twitched, and how her faint freckles danced across her cheeks. she was a sight for sore eyes.

not much later, her eyes fluttered just like yours had moments ago, yawning as she stretched for the first time this morning. she looked over, noticing you had been staring for who knows how long.

“take a picture, it’ll last longer” she laughed, leaning over and kissing your forehead before shuffling out of bed and starting to get dressed.

“no picture could beat the real thing” you grinned back. she looked over, smiling back at you, grabbing her keys.

“hey i gotta go, connor’s got this weird brunch thing that he needs me for, but um” she made her way to the door “i’ll text you”

“wait!” you stopped her before she could leave. she let you of the handle to your bedroom and turned to face you, giving you full attention. suddenly you felt vulnerable, still naked and barely covered by your sheets, laid right in front of her “would you want to grab dinner sometime this week? i know we meet up on fridays, but…i don’t know i thought it’d be nice to see you sooner”

“um…yea…you know i’ll have to text you or something” she shuffled around, avoiding eye contact. “it’s just that me and connor…he’s still my boyfriend…”

you fought the urge to roll your eyes “yea, yea i know”

“well i can’t just go out with you all the time like we’re girlfriends. me and connor are still together”

“even if you’re in my bed every weekend?” you scoffed “whatever, caitlin, i get it”

she just stared at you, not wanting to pick a fight. instead she opted for a sigh and left your apartment, leaving you alone and wanting.

you wished she didn’t have to pretend. you wished the two of you ended up differently.

And guess I'm the fool

With her arms out like an angel through the car sunroof

you shouldn’t have let yourself get this attached to someone you knew you’d never be able to have. you intentionally put yourself in situations with caitlin, hoping that, in some magical fantasy in your head, she’d fall for you. but you knew her. you knew about connor and you knew that being ‘gay’ was no where near something she was willing to accept, wether you were in the picture or not.

you found yourself constantly thinking back on all the times you’d realized that you were in love other her.

when she fell asleep on your shoulder during a movie night with your mutual friends.

when you and caitlin decided to road trip to tennessee to visit a close friend who was graduating. you let her have the aux and watched as she hung out the window. sunset illuminating her face, wind rushing through her long hair, singing the lyrics completely wrong but she didn’t care. she was the sun itself, in your eyes.

when she came to your crying for the first time, sobbing about something connor had done. how she so angry at him and needed a friend to spend the night with.

when she came over a second time, completely distraught again. something about how she didn’t feel right, that her head was messing with her. she was having thoughts. thoughts about you, about women, and that she was having a crisis about her sexuality.

when she came over a third and fourth and however many amount of times, when she opened up about those thoughts with you. asking you if you would help her. asked if you would take her to bed, to relive some of her thoughts. make her feel good, worship her like connor could never do.

but your crush never went past that. taking her to bed and waking up with her already gone most mornings, shooting you a ‘thank you’ text and saying she’d see you next friday.

I don't wanna call it off

But you don't wanna call it love

You only wanna be the one that I call baby

“caitlin, can i talk to you for a second” you asked, moving her hands away from the waistband of your shorts.

“yea, baby” she said, calling you that like she didn’t know it destroyed you on the inside to hear it “what’s up?”

you bit your lip, nervous to pester her with this again, but you don’t think you can handle it much longer. this secret sleeping around situation was taking a toll on you and you don’t want to be waiting around for someone that will never come.

“i love the time i get with you so so much” you began “but i don’t think i can keep doing this”

“i’m sorry, what?”

“i just don’t feel like being something you keep on the side. or like being a secret for that matter. i’ve had feelings for you for a very long time and it’s very clear that you don’t feel the same, so i think we need to call this off if that’s the case.”

“oh my- are you serious?” she furrowed her eyebrows, voice raising “i don’t get the privilege to just come out and tell everyone i like girls, YN. and regardless, like i’ve told you countless times, me and connor are still together”

“but why, caitlin?” you matched her tone “do you even love the guy? cause last time i checked, you don’t even spend time with him anymore. why? cause you’re always here with me playing fucking house! i don’t care if you don’t want to come publicly out, but…but i don’t think it’s fair that you treat me as some play thing for when you want to play pretend!”

she tugged at her hair in annoyance “jesus fucking christ, YN. whatever this is between me and you…it’s not love, alright? i thought you wanted this?! you’ve been more than willing to fuck me every time. so i’m not really understanding why you’re so upset!”

you felt sick, like you were genuinely going to puke. she was a mess and you’re not going to be her experiment for when she’s having trouble with her sexuality.

“just fucking leave, clark” you shook your head “i’m not doing this with you anymore. come back when you’re ready to figure yourself out.”

You can kiss a hundred boys in bars

Shoot another shot, try to stop the feeling

after that night, caitlin was a disaster. she was choosing to ignore what you said; about being in love, about connor, about everything. just because you fucked on the side didn’t mean she was gay…right?

she hadn’t been herself at all. she was screwing up at practices, forgetting about events and team dinners she needed to attend. she was starting to fall behind in classes, every part of her life was crumbling.

even when she laid in bed, inched over to the very edge of the mattress, connor snoring obnoxiously loud from the other end, she couldn’t stop thinking about the last time she saw you. things were never right with connor, she had always known that subconsciously, but it was becoming very clear how loveless this relationship truly was. but she brushed it off, tricking her mind into thinking that this was how things were meant to be.

she had been with men all her life, taught that this was what girls were supposed to do. so to imagine a life in which she ended up with you was just some silly dream that was meant to stay only as an unattainable desire.

for the nights that she couldn’t sleep, she would spend in the gym practicing, trying to shake off the truth that gnawed at the back of her head endlessly. this was good, she thought, basketball always made her feel better. it was her safe place. here she could leave her worries at the door and find comfort in the game, not even thinking about you.

but no matter how many shots she took, how many baskets she made, no matter how many drills she ran to make herself forget, she found herself coming back to the thought of you.

You can say it's just the way you are

Make a new excuse, another stupid reason

after about a month without you, caitlin had started to realize how much she was fucking up.

“caitlin, are you good?” kate had approached her after practice one day “you’ve been way off. and no offense, but your shots have been awful. what’s going on?”

“nothing” she plastered a fake grin on her face “nothing really, just been having a rough patch with connor, but we’re chill. just gotta lock in” she tried to joke.

kate laughed along, but she knew caitlin too well. there was definitely something up with her. but again, knowing caitlin, she needed to let her deal with it on her own.

caitlin had numerous people approach her about this. about her behavior and how she seemed to be struggling recently. but she brushed it off every single time, probably giving a dozen different excuses as to why she was acting in such a manner. she hoped that she would eventually believe them herself.

Good luck, babe!

You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling

you truly hoped that she was doing ok. you hadn’t heard from her in quite some time, not bothering to reach out to her in fear that you’d poke the bear and make it worse. all you wanted was for her to realize what she truly felt. wether it be in love with you or that she had never loved connor at all the begin with, it didn’t matter, you just wanted her to finally see how beautiful life was when someone found their true self.

you had been in her position before: unforgiving parents, no one to trust, you’d even had the remorseless religion to add on to all of the reasons why you felt like you couldn’t be yourself. and you knew what i took to get to where you are now.

caitlin believed that most things could be fixed by either ignoring it, or fixing it right away and never looking back. but this wouldn’t be the case now, you already knew, she would have to come to terms with it eventually.

And when you wake up next to him in the middle of the night

With your head in your hands, you're nothing more than his wife

caitlin shot up out of bed, gasping for air, clawing at the sheets that seemed to be glued to her skin. another nightmare, she’d been having those recently. she looked over, squinting her eyes in the dark, making sure connor was still asleep. letting a sigh of relief go when she realized he was out cold.

her hands found their way to her hair, hands scratching at her scalp, elbows balanced on her knees. she was losing her god damn mind. she couldn’t stand him, she no longer held love for connor (not there was any in the beginning). with each passing day that she had spent with him, she found that her heart beat more and more for you each time.

And when you think about me, all of those years ago

You're standing face to face with "I told you so"

the idea of loving you was tormenting her every single day for the last few months. you were the reason she woke up every morning, the reason she worked so hard to win each game, and the reason she woke up the next morning and dumped connor. she was finally able to see clearly now, finally able to understand that she was madly fucking in love with you.

she realized that no matter how many times she fought the feeling or no matter how many times she tried to convince herself otherwise, that you were the one thing she breathed and lived for.

You know I hate to say it, I told you so

she didn’t even know what she was doing or what she was going to say, but she found herself making her way out of her apartment and into her car. she had to see you and tell you how wrong she was this whole time. that she was so in love with you that her body shook with it.

her heart pounded as she turned onto your street, immediately singling out your building and noticing your apartment lights were still on. her whole body must’ve been shaking with the way that she could barely put the car in park and unbuckle her seat belt. but she managed to make it up every flight of stairs and to your door where the shiny gold ‘103’ sat, practically antagonizing her.

her mind was on autopilot, not even realizing she had already knocked three times until she heard your footsteps approach the door. and suddenly there you were in all your glory, as beautiful as ever.

you were dressed in your comfy clothes, fuzzy cow slippers on your feet, hair messed up, and your necklace backwards. but she thought you were the most gorgeous woman she had ever seen.

“caitlin?” you rubbed your eyes in astonishment “what-um-what are you doing here?”

“hi” she breathed “i know it’s late, im sorry, really. but i just need to see you”

“caitlin i don’t want to do this again. it’s been months and you show up at more door suddenly at what? 12:40 in the morning? i thought i told you i was done with the whole charade.” you stated firmly, about to shut the door on her, but she wedged her foot between the space of the door before you could close it.

“no, no. it’s not…it’s not like that. i meant that i need to come clean to you”

still skeptical, you let her in, watching as she politely hung up her jacket. you ushered her to the couch, grabbing her a glass of water and preparing yourself for whatever she was about to confess.

“when you ended things with me,” she broke the silence “i thought i’d eventually get over it because i didn’t think what we had was all that serious. i was scared to admit that i didn’t love connor…and most importantly that…that i like girls.”

you looked at her solemnly, you knew how hard this was for her.

“and i guess is till don’t know exactly what i am, but…but what i do know is that i took you for granted and i treated you unfairly. you didn’t deserve any of it and for that i apologize”

“hey it’s…it’s ok now. yea i was upset with how things were going, but i’m proud of you now that you’ve recognized what you’ve done and you’re working on yourself.” you tried to reassure her.

“i really am trying” she stated “because i want to. for you.”

you watched as her eyes twinkled under the glow of your lamp, tears rimming her lash line. you noticed the way her nose twitched like how it did that one morning she woke up in your bed. and how she looked just as flawless as she did when you had met her.

“YN, im in love with you.” she blurted “i know i have no right to come here and say that. especially after i completely disregarded your feelings for me. i don’t expect you to take me back and try and love me again, but i just need to you to know that i have spent every day regretting what i’ve done”

there was another heavy silence again, filling the room instantly, encapsulating that words that rolled off of her tongue. you were honestly at a lost for words. of course you were still in love her, you never stopped, but now things were real. you were watching your deepest dreams unravel to you right in front of your eyes.

“You know…I hate to say it but” you said, watching as caitlin braced herself for what she assumed was rejection “…I told you so” you couldn’t hold back your grin, immediately falling into playful laughter as you scooted closer to her on the couch.

“i’m in love with you too” you finally admitted out loud for the first time in months.

her shoulders finally relaxed, exhaling after holding her breathe waiting for your response. she laughed with you, just glad to here you say those words.

“don’t scare me like that” she said, face inching slowing towards you “i don’t think i would’ve been able to handle the rejection”

“don’t worry, i don’t think i ever could’ve stopped loving you if i tried” you whispered, finally closing the gap between you. you’d kissed her many times before, but this would be the first kiss that actually mattered. “but i really did tell you so” 

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

A/N: yayyy!! happy ending!! <3

[gassydumbjocks]

Its Good To Be A Man

Tyler close the door and throw himself to the sofa, exhausted after a day of work thanking it was finally over. He worked at a pretty good company, but being the only gay guy in his department and having to deal with homophobes and sexist co-workers was sometimes too much for him, so he thought about watching a movie or a tv show maybe to relax and sleep.

He started to look up in his VHS Cassettes' box and soon noticed that strangely, a new one was there, it didn't got any cover or stuff, and just had written "Its good to be a man" as the only title on it, he found it weird, but then supposed perhaps that his dumb jock of a roommie got it and put it with his stuff "I've told him not to touch my things like a million times, when is that brute gotta learn"

He had to admit the curiousity was hitting him, it was probably a home made video recorded by Connor and his gross buddies, but boy... after all, he was gay, and all of Connor's friends were toned ripped jocks from the gym (with a brain of a peanut size, but hot after all)

Thinking "maybe its just their excersizes routines... guess it wouldn't hurt to see" feeling a bit of a lust mood running in his body "ok, just a couple minutes...but i swear, if its just them having a belch off, im burning this" he said.

Putting the tape in the tv player, he clicked to put the video, and all of a sudden, the typical static sound shows, then a simple white screen, making Tyler raise an eyebrow, before what seemed to be a variety show intro plays, a smiling man in a suit which he supposed was the host, along a bunch athletic shirtless men with dumb expressions who followed next to him appeared in screen.

"Good to see ya again my brothers!" The host announces "this is your program where you learn how to be real MEN", as if it was a cue, the stud-bodied-like guys all grunted and beated their chests, like they were gorillas making a chanting "Uh!, Uh!, Uh!" and flexed their arms, making the audience laugh loudly, with those cocky grins Tyler knew so well, he rolled his eyes.

Making the host laugh aswell, he patted one of them in the back "That's what i talk about" he joked "Alright folks, tonight we'll indulge into an intense session of what it means to be a man, these guys here will serve as examples in showing you all stuff boys MUST do to become the alpha macho men they truly are" he adds, then, smirking, he takes a small device from his suit pocket.

"This little thing here made sure to leave them empty headed and obey any manly command given to them, just as it'll make sure to do the same for you, ma boy" he suddenly announces.

"...The hell?" Tyler said, arching his look again as he watched them "is this some bullshit hypnosis crap or?..." he asked

"That's right, dudes! Lets begin" the host shouted. "It's time to show off around what you're made of! We'll do something primal, no pun intented" he joked "We'll now do the first category: BURPING!, so, let's hear those nice bassy burps!" he says, turning to the group of jocks, as he pressed a button of that device.

Immediatly, they started to release loud and deep monsters of burps, at unison, as if they were in trance, still with those dumb expressions, and Tyler could swear he saw how one of them got his eyes crossed with a complete fool face.

Even worse, Tyler felt a strange urge to burp himself too. He tried to resist, but the feeling was overwhelming, he rubbed his gut hoping to calm it down, but he just letted out a loud, embarrassing belch, blushing immediatly

"Wha-BOOOOUUURRP?- Is happening?!" he said between belches, a little ashamed.

"Excellent!" the host cheered. "This is what i call a manly symphony!, but we also know there is another way to do that, right?" He asks the public with a mischevous grin "FARTING is a big part in the bonding among men, so, we just have to, let it rip right?" He asked again, as he pressed that little button.

Some of the guys turned around to show their butts, other simply proceed to lift their legs, but they all did the same, at the command of "letting rip" they instantly started a worthy orchestra of simultaneous farts, each sounding grosser and deepest than the last one

Tyler was grossed out and sick, he wanted it to stop, but as he bend over a bit over to approach the tv, his butt felt the need to drop a massive, and nasty monster of a deep fart, the loudest he've ever letted out, he could feel his butt vibrating at that one, sitting normally again, horrified and trying to cover his butt with his hands.

"This-BOOOOOOOUUUUURRRRRPP!" He belched "Is a nightmare!..."

PPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRTTTT!!!

That last fart seemed to do something on Tyler, he kept one second silent before, turning his head to the tv again, now with a dumb and foolish grin adorning his face "hahaha, dudee, i need to quit the bean dip next timee" he said in a lower, more manly voice.

"Whew! Guys! Ok ok its enough! Hahaha" The always happy host said, as he waved his hand to make the smell go away, as the dumb bunch of men kept blasting bombs out of their butts "Geez, dont anybody here think on turning on a lighter" he said bursting in laughing, making Tyler laugh too at the stupid joke.

"But for now, this is all we got for today's emmision, bros, we're glad that you could come with us in this, stinky, foul and manly lessons that every man needs to apply in his everyday, till the next program! Boys? Would you like to wave goodbay?" he asked with a grin.

The camera showed each of them, now it was sure they all had that same cross-eyed look and dumb smiles, like Tyler did, the staff offered a can of a kind of soda to one of them, which he drank in a single gulp, before removing it from his lips "GOOOD BYEEEEAAAAUUURRRRRP!" A massive belch came out, as he succesfully burp-talked, gaining again the laughs and applause from all the people in the set.

Meanwhile with Tyler, at the same time he also relaxed his muscles, and lifted a leg as he felt some pressure in his lower abdomen, he knew very well what that meant "Bombs away!" he said proudly, before the smelly, big and long fart made its way out of his crack.

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTT!!!

"Hahah!" he chuckled "i think i just ruined my undies"

[alphajocklover]

I've grown....tired of my life. Like, it's the same pointless thing day after day. Caring so much about making the world better. I work a sad little non profit. Living in the big city and making little money. I haven't been on a date with a gay in over a year. Straight guys have it so much easier. Sometimes I wish I was more like them...dumb... obnoxious and loud...always having some crude joke....hehe....that'd be fun...to be some loudmouth hot as hell straight comedian or some famous straight actor who could get away with whatever he wanted because he was dumb, hot and young. Like maybe a lean muscular dude or a big bodybuilding buff guy. It wouldn't matter just as long as you make me some obnoxious hot straight asshole.

You say you’re tired of your life… but I don’t think tired is the right word. The word tired suggests you‘ve used up all your energy, that you’ve reached the end of your endurance and need to stop. That’s not what’s happening here. You aren’t tired, you’re restless. It’s not that you’ve used up all your energy, it’s that you haven’t used any of it. You’ve been standing still, living the same life the same way for too long now, and now all that energy you were supposed to be using to be a real man has built up so much you’re about to burst, and as silly as it sounds I’m not speaking in metaphors. Masculinity has its own, literal, actual energy.

Not much is known about it. It’s been called a number of things throughout the years, one of the best known and crudest nicknames being ‘Big Dick Energy’. But what we do know is that it’s real, and you’ve built up quite a lot of it. That happens sometimes, when someone generates said energy but doesn’t actually use it by doing anything manly. See, every guy generates some, jocks generate a lot, sissys generate a little, and most people use just as much as they generate. But not you. You haven’t been using any of your energy, so it’s built up inside you and now… it’s going to burst out. From what you’ve told me it seems like you’re already experiencing the first symptoms. An urge to act manly, toxic and obnoxious. But that’s just the beginning. Soon the buildup will become too much, and it’ll take over.

The transformation will be almost instant. You’ll beef up, dumb down, and lose yourself in pure, toxic masculinity. It’ll come off of you in waves, and you’ll feel like it’s the greatest high of your life. But like every high it won’t last forever. Eventually, probably after a few weeks of fucking sluts and beating up nerds, you’ll run out of energy and go back to you’re regular self, probably confused and strangely horny. That doesn’t mean you’ll never see your straight douchebag self again. Once you’re overloaded by masculine energy once, it’s easier for it to happen again. Not only that, the next time it happens it’ll happen longer.

You could try to keep it from happening again. Do something manly regularly, something simple like watching sports or working out. Or you could let it happen again. Keep turning into a straight jock for longer and longer, until eventually you completely overload on it and end up like that permanently. Whatever choice you make, I’m sure you won’t be tired of your life anymore.

[guywrestlingaddiction]

That Wresting Moment: The abs bash match - Kayden Keller v Carter Alexander (bgeast.com)

Gay wrestling doesn't have to be complicated.  Sometimes all it takes is one jealous heel + one meat head jock, mix in some ab bashing and there you have a match.  But looks can be deceiving and look beyond that pink pummeled mid section and you have another layer of gay wrestling subtext. 

Kayden Keller v Carter Alexander (bgeast.com)

SPOILER ALERT: I highly recommend viewing this match in its entirety before reading this post.

The Backstory Enter Carter Alexander. The man gets an A for Alexander and an A for Abs. The man is built like an action figure I used to play with.

The Action

What's the story? Kayden sees a hot hunky Carter and feels a urge to break that tall jock.  Carter looks like the kind of man's man that gets into bar fights and brags about his conquests to his bros.  Carter is all alpha in appearance and Kayden needs to make him weak. 

Carter: We're going to have a good clean fight right?

Kayden: Sure ... After a cheap shot to bring the jock down, we are immediately treated to the ab bash.  There are simply too many ab bashes to keep track of. 

The Moment 

So what makes this match more than just an S&M bash fest?  Sure there's more than enough pink and bruised abs to go around but like I've said countless times, Gay wrestling is simply so much more!    It's not only about pounding away at your opponent.  Kayden also has his fun.  Gay wrestling is not about hurting, well not only about the hurt.  It's about satisfying your heel.  

We start with a reverse bearhug.

Then the Ab claw.

Kayden looks mighty satisfied in both. Let's start with the innovation.  This move is new to me at least.  What's it's called?  The reverse ab-hug? Whatever it is, we need more.

It's all about the humbling of our hunk.  Witness Carter, intimidating as he is on the outside, reduced to a groveling jobber begging to end this match by the time this is all over.  

Kayden: Two words ... Carter: It hurts?!  Kayden: Wrong .... 

Next we have our handsome, hunky jock weak, tired, and helpless to Kayden's onslaught.  Kayden is not holding anything back and we can see the toll it's taking on Carter.  The man is built like steel but even steel has its limits.  

And lastly, good matches need good endings.  Kayden ends the ab abuse only when he's good and ready.  Carter submitted a thousand times over and is clearly no match for him but his heel ends things simply when he's good and done playing with his toy.  

Carter: *groan* *groan* Kayden: Now I say you're done. 

[k3n-dyll]

Domestic!Sevika [Drabble]

||Men, minors, and ageless DNI

CW: None just Vika being cute

AN: not proofread, just started writing

Masterlist Divider Creds Helpful Palestine Links

Domestic!Sevika who has never been in love before you, finding herself roaming around your apartment while you're out and noticing a basket full of undone laundry sitting near the washer.

You've been super busy recently and haven't had much time or energy to keep up with certain household chores and laundry was one of them.

Now, Sevika has never been one to just...do shit for people. Not unless it benefitted her in some way. And yet now she finds herself sorting your darker clothes from the light ones, washing them separately, drying them then heading back onto your bedroom and putting them away. She doesnt even roll them into a ball and toss them into drawers like she sometimes does with her own things - she folds them. Neatly.

She finishes and is quite proud of herself, going back to giving herself a bit of a tour of your place, but oh, look at that - the sink has dishes from last nights dinner date.

On any normal day you'd have washed them after eating but Sevika had other plans, which is why she was over at your apartment the next morning in the first place. A part of her feels bad for practically carrying you into the bedroom the night prior instead of helping you clean up, so she may as well make up for it by washing those dishes now, right?

Needless to say, when you get back that afternoon your apartment is spotless and something heavenly is wafting from the kitchen. There's no sign of Sevika until you walk back into your bedroom. Shes lounging on top of the blankets of your now made up bed, reading a book.

"You did all this?"

And she just stares at you for a moment, thinking.

"Oh, dinner? Yeah. I figured since you cooked last night..."

You shake your head and begin to explain what you mean fully. You could literally see your reflection on the counters when you walked through the kitchen and shes just sat here as if she hasnt moved all day. Even when you elaborate, she just shrugs as if she hadnt just made your life 10 times easier by simply being left alone in your house for a day.

"I dunno...I just got bored I guess"

Is her explanation for it, though that was clearly a lie, but you werent going to push her into saying anything sappy. Her work around the house said enough. She's been here before, sure, but its clear that she takes in every little thing you do. She's cooked your favorite dish, folded your laundry and sorted it in the specific way that you always do. She'd managed to get every little organization quirk of yours down to a T.

"Well, thank you for getting bored" you respond, kissing her on the forehead, and while she'd never say it out loud but that little bit of praise makes her heart jump.

I love her sm

Little drabble that is solely based on my urge to act like a housewife when I'm with my girlfriend. I'd lasso the moon for that girl istg

Taglist: @half-of-a-gay, @porcelainmystery, @delinthecut, @sevsbaby, @archangeldyke-all

[auckie]

Neil gaiman is such a fucking hack. All he does is ride off Terry pratchets coattails, gets. I really hate the word cuck but idk how else to describe the Amanda Palmer situation. Cucked by women and regurgitates that into flat one dimensional characters. Queer baits and panders to trashy online YA level drivel types. He’s the definition of the word fandom. If men like his garbage they’re always the kind of guy who has a beard and lets you know he has a beard. He probably owns a kilt despite not being remotely Scottish. Funko pop owner for sure, has a mini tardis and probably that dr who scarf. A pentagram tattoo, maybe some runes.

And like. Neil gaiman is a capable writer do not get me wrong. But his idea of creative writing is theorizing about how the afterlife is all bureaucracy bc that’s never been done by a bitter atheist. It’s always secularly Christian too isn’t it? I mean i guess that’s what he knows.

So im saying this knowing that he’s not solely responsible for it, really, and having read the comics and not enjoyed them at all but continued to have done so out of some weird sense of obligation, I’m very angry to admit that I’m enjoying the stupid Netflix production of dead boy detectives. It is absolutely a mishmash of other similar cw-type shows, but that’s just the thing. I eat that shit up. Riverdale, Sabrina, teen dramas with obnoxious editing and low brow production value. I even liked the second season of good omens despite like, hating a solid 40% of the secondary character and plot direction. It’s sorta like eating little Debbie cakes yknow? Or binging reality tv.

DBDA is better than all that, like it’s a crust above but it’s wrapped in the trappings of really shitty things, and whenever it manages to be a bit better it’ll sink a smidge lower by referencing its ilk or doing exactly what you’d expect of it.

Whenever I see the ‘two skinny whitish boys with obvious sexual tension and an annoying women in the middle’ I stop and ask myself— does this writer have a track record of making the same dynamic.

An obnoxious woman is not a bad thing. She can be a good thing even, but if she’s a mirror image of a million other toxic characters that indicates two things: projection, or a formula. Especially when paired between two male characters that clearly interact in ways that urge the audience to say ‘they should kiss!’

Then she becomes an obstacle. It’s rare for a character in this role to rise above the narrative, and even rarer for authors to try and write one capable of that.

A lot of fans will see people hating on her and cry ‘misogyny!’ Instead of asking why she was written, and why hundreds of other past iterations and future clones of her continue to be written. A similar character is the empty lesbian who stands in both popular media and fanfiction to prove that the author is not just obsessing over gay men and throws a bone to the supposed lesbian audience as well.

And then you have the flat poc or other LBT, sometimes disabled characters who serve to act as a tick mark off a checklist. It’s lazy, it’s annoying. But that’s a whole different can of vaguely related worms

[lizaluvsthis]

Welcome again to Liza's Fixation...

I present to you...

Reasons why I document these kinds of stuff to how similar gay idiots have occurred to me for the past few years.

SMG34 AND SQUIDBOB (SUN AND MOON PAIR)

Quick reminder: the explanation is a bit too long so grab a seat and eat some snacks while ya read-

Sun & moon dynamic:

Noticing the differences in how optimistic spongebob and smg4 are in their own world even if the sh-t ass problem gets a bit more heavy to deal with? They both kept it there and still moved on even tho it was a bit of a problem in their life that impacted them already. Yet they still chose to move.

Pessimistic like Squidward and SMG3 they both sometimes ignore the ray of sunshine or sometimes would be the ones watching their optimistic sun/partner on the side glances or view to check up on them.

Likes/interests/love?

Now I'm not pretty sure about this one but if I were to think- that smg4 and spongebob would point out something or hint it. I'll be heading off to the part when they go soft on their moon. (Smg3 and Squidward)

Just like something that they do to soften their partner- smg4 looks at three with awes in his eyes like a baby- and spongebob looks at squid with sparkled eyes and or well- inclusions of his lip bitings/flirting/and too many attempts of him kissing his cheek/forehead/nose over and over from other episodes.

But since SMG4 and Three's dynamic are unlike the same- I do kind of see some parts of SMG4 being a little goof to Three as well.

The moon's effect"

OH YEAAAA PREPARE FOR THE TSUNDERE ACTIVATION!!!

Ahem- let's just say that just like SMG3 where he calls four baka about more than five times already- let's put this simply he likes four but tries to hide it as well.

And just the same thing as Squidward. He may hate the poriferan for being such a mess or annoying him on the other days, but at the same time, he deeply and truly does care about him even if he does NOT want to admit it right in front of his face.

Playing the cards as a moon dynamic could be a bit simple BUT it's also from the same part where that moon plays with its OWN actions.

A tsundere cant-NOT tell that person they're crushing just yet because mostly they think that it'll be such a rush. And well- wanted to take the sun's time to think or to feel around with them.

The sun's effect:

EUGHHH anyway- since the sun likes to give love, joy, and happiness to other people. Like spongebob and smg4 showering love out of platonic to people some patties or uhhh memes...

Sun has been and always been sensitive with stuff from how other people they're closest to act out to them.

Now let's just put the example of three opening up to four during that igbp arc.

And then also Squidward opened up to spongebob during that Fools in April episode.

The moon knows how sensitive suns are that they can't urge themselves to think about what would happen in advance due to their own consequences that dealt with their own actions to make the sun's life miserable.

Because deep down the moon has always been so miserable that they dont want to let their closest to get this negative feeling too. (Such as the sun does)

Friends? Enemies? Lovers? Foes?:

It would be funny how similar the dynamic is but a different type of situation they grew up having. They had slowburns coming tho!

Smg34 (enemies to friends) says on the wiki that his relationship with smg4 could and would possibly go to as "lovers" but it has never been admitted YET. Development grows (including uh igloo event-)

SO UHHH COUGH- COUGH- UHHHH YEAH... erm- ahem- uhhh his dynamic with three grew from just a simple seed then turned to grow into tiny roots of their bond then coming to a sprout blooming out right after the events of 2020 or 2021 have been shown.

Squidbob (friends to close friends) [according to their development during the seasons]

<THOUGH IT IS CONFIRMED SPONGEBOB IS ASEXUAL ACCORDING FROM OFFICIAL TWITTER!!!>

it seemed that spongebob had grown to admire Squidward as his co-worker to the point Squidward gets a bit used to it now and then he wouldn't mind anymore or THINK that spongebob is just an annoying loser.

wish to tell but I could not:

moon thought it would be a bit too embarrassing or a bit awkward if they were to say something about the mixed feelings they have with their certain sun.

But even if it were to hint out just like what Sponge and Four did to Squid and Three- and even if the moons were to do the same- it comes out from dodging the arrows. The hint of realizations.

Just like how we saw four trying his best to comfort and make it up to smg3 as much as possible without making him a bother or getting three to see him as a bastard in a way. (start of YouTube arc and trash friends) And then to spongebob trying to make it up for Squidward once his life got ruined even tho he tried to make his life even better, Squidward still sees him as an annoying yellow nuisance. So if we take this place to the moon's pov they could also find it such a hard time to actually reciprocate or to think about what could resolve their own problem without even being such a both as there is for them now. The situation that they carry is a lot heavier than what there is from the outcome and could lead to some sorts of stuff that they wouldn't want to happen just now/yet

The flow between their relationship:

I mostly thought about how the sun would have most of the time being a goof around to the moon when they're always down, so if it was the sun's turn to feel down. Moon also uses the same tactics in trying their best to comfort their moon.

It's like how smg4 felt bad about smg3 when he destroyed his own production. And like how it is to Spongebob when he destroyed something that Squidward felt upset about.

He never thought much at first but he also tried his best way to think about the situation to meld their situation together.

Nicknames? Flirting?

Fluids between their relationship of being actual friends to closer then to not close again.

When Squidward deals with having someone close to him (just like how spongebob does the same) he mostly engages with also saying nice words (rarely) and really means it to which spongebob could be so happy that Squidward would be showering out his true colors. Because of the sun's response, it's all a bit good to be true and they aren't sure about what to believe. But goes on along with it. Smg3 whose been the one to do things about helping or say a couple of nice words to four. Making HIM rethink about his stuff if it was all actually true and whatnot. Because the Three we all used to know was a villainy dude who was so obsessed with taking over Four's channel and what'd we get? A smooth development- (kinda rough but smooth still)

I think those are all I've got it's just literally the same things so yeah-

[lucky-draws]

btw hi guys. [blows a cloud of dust into your face]. i miss being on here regularly but such is life. hope everypony is continuing to sparkle on. a few updates from me and the team. (?) longtime followers may be mourning the mgs content. as am i. but unfortunately i think i need at least another year before i can start to feel insane about mgs again. im kind of all metal geared out. those 2-3 years i spent being obsessed with it are kind of a distant fever dream now. it remains always in my heart brain and pussy forever but i'm just not in mgs mode right now. the ocie that lives in my brain is hibernating for a while. don't worry he's nice and warm and i have stocked up on tuna and wet food.

i guess my current interest is iwtv so you can expect to see some more of that. (a while back i watched the show then watched the film then read several of the books and now that ive recently caught up with s2 im back in vampire mode. i prefer the tv show versions of the characters so sorry but you won't be seeing me draw t*m cru*se lestat or ginger armand. i do enjoy the books though. when i go home at xmas i'll have them to hand and flicking though them again might spark me into feeling even more crazy.)

i keep wanting to draw more dr who stuff but never getting round to it but i remain optimistic that i will do at some point. who knows. "WHO" knows ! . ha ha.

i also very recently got into bbc cult sci-fi sitcom red dwarf (1988-present) and im feeling the urge to draw some red dwarf stuff (for the handful of people who care) because it's extremely silly and what this blog and indeed myself need is a return to silliness. so if i suddenly start drawing d lister and gay rimmer and their funny friends you've been warned.

i sort of want to draw more random stuff outside of frequent interests tbh. like ive been watching/rewatching a lot of movies lately and id kind of like to draw bits and bobs pertaining to various movies whenever the whim strikes. so if i suddenly put withnail and the titular i on your dash you have also been warned of this.

however i should say that regardless of what i am drawing i might not be able to post often because unfortunately i have a bit more of a life now than i did previously. i socialise a bit and go to the pub with friends sometimes this sort of thing. it's quite jolly id recommend. i also might be working after xmas on top of uni work so i don't know if ill have time to draw much. i want to though. so i probably will anyway. fuck my grades. #cool

anyway i think this concludes my message. basically thank you to all followers old and new for being here. let's continue to stay silly together. happy holidays etc.

lucky

Lucky D. Raws | CEO of SillyBlogging

* if you would like to opt out of future newsletters and marketing emails, please click this link to unsubscribe.

[whoiwanttoday]

Hey guys, here is some Hannah Dodd for the first time who is here 100% because of @thunderstormofoblivion who I will have to text to get her to even see this post cause she gave up on Tumblr but you know… I have been making pride posts and my heart swells with pride when I think about her. And I met her right here on tumblr originally. Anyway, Hannah Dodd is here as a representative for @thunderstormofoblivion because I wouldn't know she existed without her input. Hannah Dodd is on Bridgerton, a show I watched and enjoyed the first season of but have never really had an urge to go back to, just because it's not for me and I could not wait to shed Netflix once they allowed my family members to make their own accounts and keep their watch history. Thus no Bridgerton for me but I only watched it in the first place because @thunderstormofoblivion wanted me to. It's pretty, it's romantic, no knocks against it but I just don't really like TV shows very much, it's too much. Anyway, I think Hannah Dodd is exceptionally pretty, as does @thunderstormofoblivion and sometimes she reminds me a lot of Leighton Meester in her Gossip Girl days. I can't tell if this is because she actually kind of looks like her or because of how she is styled sometimes but I promise you saying someone looks like Blair Waldorf is about the highest compliment I can imagine. And all of this is being posted because of Pride, as I have said in previous days that it feels important to celebrate the really important queer people in my life and all cards on the table, there really isn't a more important queer person to me than @thunderstormofoblivion. She is wonderful. She is smart and funny and a good person and I enjoy talking to her and I think she could easily pull off a Blair Waldorf look and I love her with my whole heart. And she's here for pride because she's um… well, you know, I have made jokes the past couple days about people being as gay as thing X but it isn't working well for bi. She's as Bi as an HDMI splitter? It just doesn't work as well, I don't know why. She's as bi as a Queen song about wanting to ride your bicycle? I guess that's extremely accurate but as on the nose as a Queen song about wanting to ride your Bicycle. Look, I promise you she's really bi and likes Hannah Dodd but deep down wishes I had posted Hozier instead. Anyway, happy Pride everyone. Today I want to fuck Hannah Dodd.

[wrenrogue]

The first time Kenma heard Kuroo’s laugh, he thought is was the loudest most annoying thing he’d ever heard.

It was bizarre since his new neighbor had been really quiet up until then, quieter than him. So it took him by surprise when Kuroo guffawed with glee when the dirty volleyball landed in between his arms covering his sweater in muddy water, instead of bouncing off them like intended.

Kenma didn’t think much of it until Kuro only got louder with time and so did his laugh. He would laugh at everything, including when their volleyball would accidentally smack him in the face during practice.

It was annoying. Kuro was annoying. Kuro and his laugh were annoying.

And as they grew up, Kenma got to see Kuro annoying everyone else with his obnoxious donkey laugh. How he had a hard time staying quiet sometimes from finding something too funny. How he would get scolded by his grandmother for his laugh-induced coughing fits and almost throwing up on the furniture.

How Kuro had a phase where he invented himself an evil laugh and pretended to be evil around their neighborhood. How despite being “evil," when he accidentally broke his neighbor’s flower pot, he apologized profusely and took out his life savings (1000 yen) to try to buy her a new one.

And then Kuro met Bokuto.

Kuro honestly was polite, perceptive and had a high sense of self-control when he wasn’t laughing his ass off being a bastard to a poor victim. Kenma would’ve ditched him long ago if Kuro was just a high energy party animal with non-existent tact.

Somehow Bokuto loosened his self-control a bit too much though. They were loud together, had a ton of fun doing so too. But Kenma just wanted to play his games in peace and it was hard with Bokuto hey hey heying and Kuro’s taunting happening right beside him.

Kenma was truly the most miserable teenager in existence; he wondered if his misery would ever end. And then Kenma met Akaashi the year after and he thought he finally found solidarity in knowing someone else was plagued by their louder friends being idiots together.

What he found instead was Akaashi radiating the gay in massive amounts whenever he was around Bokuto that Kenma’s gaydar shattered irreparably. Kenma once told Kuro this, and like expected he turned into a hyena.

Kenma thought it wasn’t all bad when this happened, that Kenma was responsible for making Kuro laugh so loud. That he created that joy for him.

Kenma can’t really say Kuro’s laugh was always obnoxious. Because there were good things about it too. Like how Kuro’s eyes would crinkle at the edges or how Kenma was always flashed with all his pearly white teeth from that big mouth of his. Or how he’d turn red from laughing way too hard for way too long.

How Kuro, despite having a loud-as-fuck laugh, also had many other ones that were quieter, but just as effective. Like when he snickered at Kenma’s quips to other people and how he giggled at every joke Kenma told him. How sometimes his laugh was infectious and Kenma had no other choice but to laugh too.How Kuro had this particularly quiet breathy laugh that Kenma wasn’t sure how to describe, but that it was nice to hear anyway. How Kenma was many times the reason for that laugh to begin with.

The year Kuro’s gone to college, things didn't get any quieter, but the loud things weren't things Kenma liked to hear. Kuro’s laugh had always been obnoxious, but Kenma’s grown to kinda like it. If only because it belonged to Kuro.

If only Kuro was there to laugh at him for being so sappy. But he was far away and studying for tests instead of bothering him to practice a new special move near their bridge.

Kuro called Kenma that night out of the blue telling him he had the urge to bother him. “you’re not bothering me” kenma had said prompting a chuckle, something he missed hearing.

“how are you?” Kuro asked

“I…(miss you) played metal gear today”

“haven’t played that in years, let me borrow it next time I’m home”

“when will you be home?”

“aww kenma-kun misses me"

“shut up. my mom asked me earlier”

“riiiiiiight”

“i’m gonna hang up now”

Kuro cackled from the other end, and somehow kenma’s heart grew a little lighter.

Kenma joins Kuro at uni and their routine intertwines as is the nature of their friendship. But there’s a problem.

The thing about Kuro is that he was kinda objectively good-looking. Kenma wasn't dumb, he’d seen the entire student body ogling him from afar.

it’s kinda hard not to when Kuro was so tall, well built with a handsome face and even though his hair was always stupid, it looked good on him. Kenma was kinda mad at that honestly. How his childhood friend grew up into such a dreamboat with a foghorn attached. If he would’ve known sooner, he would’ve ditched him immediately.

Kenma thought this even more when his stomach wouldn't stop flipping like a pancake when Kuro started guffawing at his own corny jokes during breakfast, because since when did he find Kuro's laugh so attractive???

It gets worse. And it gets worse, and the years keep coming and they don’t stop coming. and Kuro's laugh gets more attractive and Kenma would just like to kiss him to shut him up once and for all. But he can't. All he could do was let the butterflies destroy his stomach as he stared dreamily at his best friend when he wasn't looking. He thinks he likes staring at Kuro more when he’s busy working on his things.

He was currently trying to apply to the JVA, said he wanted to make sure everything was perfect so Kuro was hunched over his laptop updating his linkedin account and kenma like a fool, watched as Kuro stuck his tongue out in concentration as he typed out his credentials, how he would randomly squint and make faces at whatever he was concentrating on, how he had a pen behind his ear despite the fact that he didn’t need to write anything down. How he was still in his pjs because he had stayed over at kenma’s house again and was too lazy to find any of his other clothes in kenma’s closet.

And kenma couldn’t handle seeing all that so he got up, only to come back to slide a plate of cut up fruit next to his best friend, because he hadn’t seen him eat anything since noon and he needed to eat.

Kuro turned to look at him, asked him “What for?” and kenma only shrugged. In response Kuro gave him a quiet breathy giggle and thanked him for the snack. kenma knows then that he’s completely head over heels fucked.

When Kuro gets the phone call that he got the job at the JVA, Kenma was there to see the glee write itself all over Kuro's face as he thanked the caller for giving him the opportunity.

He was there as Kuro joyfully celebrated his success, how he was loud, how Kenma couldn't help but celebrate too. How Kuro picked him up to twirl him around. How the excitement got to him enough that when he was back on the ground, he didn’t let Kuro go, instead bringing him down at eye-level to tell him “You did it” and kissing him on the lips.

Kenma’s not sure why he hadn’t thought of doing that sooner. He thinks Kuro’s laugh tastes sweeter than he imagined. Kenma’s not exactly sure when his own laugh got so loud. He thinks it’s probably Tetsurou’s influence.

Though he finds that he doesn’t really mind, especially when he laughs along side him as they reach more milestones together. Like when Tetsu became a staple in his streams, that they end up having a segment together. Like when Tetsurou kissed him feather light down his neck just to tickle him. Like when Tetsurou proposed to him the same day he was going to propose to him too. Like during their wedding and Tetsurou somehow got cake in his hair.

Like when they got a bigger house together and their friends helped them paint each room and lev got paint all over his face. Like when Tetsu lets their daughter give him makeovers and she makes sure his cheeks are as pink as possible. Like when their son learned to walk and immediately learned chasing their cat was a fun pastime. Like when Tetsu lets him hold him in bed while they giggle at how long it took them to get together.

Kenma remembers thinking Tetsu’s laugh was loud and stupid. He still thinks so, but he wouldn't want it any other way. Especially when he gets to experience all other laughs Tetsu has to offer, including the shy little giggle he does when kenma tells him he loves him before kissing him quiet.

[sudsyv2]

Imagine mind reader soap , like just think about it . But he doesn’t read their whole thoughts he can only read what they think about him.

Soap doesn’t consciously read people’s minds, he kinda just taps into their heads on accident like spotty wifi. But it happens so often that he’s gotten used to the extra voices from others in his head. He’s read some bad ones, weird ones and nice ones but none were like Ghost’s.

Ghost’s thoughts started out as ‘new person’ ‘the sergeant’ ‘loud’ and ‘annoying’

Which was understandable, soap’s charm wasn’t for everyone .. even if soap grumbled about it for a couple days ..

But after a while, after they had begun to know each other, things had shifted. What would have soap never expect for was the drastic turn in the man’s thoughts. A full 180.

Now his thoughts were ‘mine’ ‘my Johnny’ ‘loud’ ‘cute’ and so on, soap was surprised ghost knew the word cute. And even more surprised the word was used for him.

It made soap feel giddy that he caused such a change, especially in someone like ghost. But soap does get shy sometimes, believe it or not, when ghost’s thoughts get just a little more intimate. Paired with those eyes staring down at him. Soap can feel the heavy weight of ghosts eyes on his entire body. Scanning him like prey.

Ghost’s craving for soap is headache inducing, but also thrilling to soap. Ghost liked him? So much that the man actually had wet dreams of him? So much that he’d think of soap while they were on missions?

Soap found it was exhilarating to mess with the man and then tap into his thoughts, see what things he wouldn’t say out loud due to pride all because of Soap.

But imagine soap forgetting he can read minds and randomly responds to one of ghosts thoughts. Like ghost in his mind thinking about how cute soap looks today and soap immediately responding with a “you think I look cute? What about the other days huh?” And soap would tease ghost with a cheeky tone. Not registering that the other man is in complete gay panic. Also forgetting to remind himself of his own power to read minds. “D..did I say that out loud??” Ghost mumbled under his breath, mind in turmoil as he resisted the urge to punch himself. Even after his stumble ghost quickly played it off, replying to soap with his usual annoyed huff. “You’re too loud.” Ghost said, choosing to look at the very interesting concrete instead of the smug grin on the shorter man.

[delta-lethonomia]

Tried to narrow it to a few and was not successful: 8, 10, 13, 16, 17

8. see last post!

9. worst part of fanon

Hmm. This is actually pretty difficult, I feel like I'm only exposed to such a curated selection of fanon these days I completely miss all the wild takes. I will say that I don't think Astarion would necessarily do that much embroidery/sewing after the events of the game. I got the impression that a lot of it was because he needed to look attractive and put together, lacked the resources to acquire new things, and embroidering dumb things on his underwear was the only amount of bodily autonomy he could flex. He can't exactly dye his hair, cut it, or steal any jewelry without it getting stolen by the other spawn: he literally only has the clothes on his back, and they need to be kept in good condition if he wants any degree of success enticing higher class/presumably less violent and more attractive people back to Cazador.

If anything, I think post-bg3 he'd splurge and get himself nice things, holding onto fraying clothing for far too long but not repairing it. He can buy things now - but the urge to hoard it would still exist, while patching it might strike too close to old habits. He'd pick up the thread and think of something, but wouldn't be able to bring himself to embroider anything for himself. A partner though, yes, but not himself.

There's no need for a stamp across his ass if no one's going to see it anymore.

13. worst blorbofication

the bestest babygirl Astarion. Seriously. What the fuck. We've got Snape levels of delusion about this bitch. He's been "draco in leather pants'd" enough that it's flipped around entirely, because Astarion does actually wear leather pants, so instead he's heteronormative fantasy #142 where he's loving husband material, ready to have adorable dhampir babies and sweetly make love under the blankets of their 3-bedroom house with white picket fence while assuring tav/durge that's 100% ready to have missionary sex again with deep eye contact where maybe one of them gets to come, because it's fine, we don't need sex for emotional intimacy. ????

Astarion absolutely can be kind in a bitchy, understated way, but every time I see a thing where he's too nice I want to write a scene where he does something horrible or picks a fight. Let👏 him 👏 murder 👏

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

ok already answered BUT HAVE ANOTHER! (Actually have 2!) I don't like "Sweet, supportive Astarion" characterizations. I think no matter the trauma, his is always going to be worse, and even if he doesn't say it he's definitely thinking it. I don't think he'd be actively sweet, more… deliberately not being an asshole, at best. Crying about your mum dying? He'll let you cry on his shoulder, give a sentence of comfort, then change the conversation. Very stiff upper lip - "Must be talk about this?"

Wait ok I just thought of the actual controversial take. I don't get the obsession with putting Astarion in dresses. He's beautiful, yes, but there are a lot of handsome men in fiction, but Astarion especially get put into dresses a lot. Is it because of the wavemother robes??? Did that unlock something in people??? Is it because he comes across as gay sometimes, so therefor let's put him in women's clothing, because crossdressing stereotypes? Putting any man in a dress is subversive, I get that, I just don't get what about Astarion makes people so feral for it. Skimpy clothing, yes, but the heels and dresses. why.

It makes me think of nail polish on men these days. I get the impression it's a certain flavor of liberal man who wears nail polish as a subversive act, trying to show that feminine things aren't lesser, that they're not ashamed of wearing them, but Astarion's absolutely a rather conservative character politically. Like… babygirl's voting Tory/Republican, if he's voting at all. Sorry.

Maybe I'm thinking too deeply about this lol. But for real - he's a very masculine-coded character. He cries once, and that's an overwhelming cathartic release after centuries of pain. He's assertive in sex scenes. Even though he sounds like he's close to tears sometimes, he pushes past emotional things very quickly, is driven by a need for freedom, to provide for the player and be powerful enough for the both of them, to keep them safe, has a drive for power that's frightening, and will throw down if it comes down to it. He threatens you if you tell him no about sharing the tadpoles, even after sleeping together. His shoulders are much broader than you think. He's very, very masculine, both in body and values, he just also happens to be a flirt and has had trauma and submission beaten into him. In elf terms, he's the chaddest chad to ever chad.

He would also fold one leg over the other at the knee while sitting on a stool that gives stereotypical "gay" vibes, but I can also see him manspreading all over the place. But I just don't see fanart of Astarion manspreading with a prominent bulge the same way I see dress fanart everywhere. I feel like I just don't get the appeal enough to unpick this!

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

Crushing Ascended Astarion into the dirt. I'm so, so glad Larian added that option to take control of him after becoming the Absolute - he doesn't see it coming at all, and it's so good. I just want to see AA as far away from power as possible, struggling with himself, and maybe regretting the Ascension and all that he lost. I don't think AA is completely hopeless - he's still Astarion, just dumber, more arrogant, more scared and out of touch with himself, with all those emotional walls snapped back into place all the harder - but that just makes me want to crack him like an egg.

Oh, or fics/art where Tav/Durge left him instead of becoming his spawn. He lets them leave, but I don't think he ever gets over it, and it's his last little shred of goodness/arrogance/self-pity that prevents him from taking them back forcefully. Pieces Still Stuck in Your Teeth by howlsmovinglibrary is obviously the best example of this and can't be topped, but I want more cakes!!! Not of "darkly seductive vampire lord Astarion seducing an old flame back to his side" cake, but of "disaster AA embarrasses himself by becoming more pathetic over an obsession he just can't shake." The higher they rise, the harder they fall.

He just wants to be loved unquestionably despite thinking of himself as a proven monster and therefore unlovable

[cowboy-robooty]

no guys see robooty itager is the slowest burn fucking imaginable. because i think that 1) italy would have to initiate them dating since germany thinks hes rejected forever after buon san valentino (my boy loves one sided crush) and 2) if they dont slow burn theyll crash and explode. because i think italy takes forever to realize he genuinely really fucking love germany and ONLY loves him and is willing to be loyal 'n treat him well to have him. Since i think italy isnt the type to really love ever since his kindergarten crush so he takes forever to recognize what he feels is genuine love (plus his love is born from a sense of entitlement but thats a whole 'nother enchilada). but yeah and because they take forever and are fully developed in their feelings when they date things are happy happy sunshine swag peace and love ❤️ they do stupid shit as bros the only difference now is they make out sometimes and japan cries himself to sleep everyday ^_^

but in a world where somehow they started dating BEFORE italy completely sorts out his feelings then OHHHH MY GOD. HELLWORLD. LITERAL HELLWORLD. because italy would totally cheat on germany and germanys heart would have youtube poop glass shattering effect explosion and italy would be #unloyal and #mean #scumgong and he would break up with germany for being so clingy and upset about him breaking his heart everyday or germany would break up with italy because everyone in his entire life (2 people: japan and prussia) is telling him that he needs to because italys making him chew glass (they take like 6 years to convince him and have to resort to saying its for italys own good if he breaks up with him). and then when they break up germany would hashtag die and explode because he obviously still loves italy but hes held back by prussia to not come back to him and tries to satiate his autistic brain by thinking "he was mean to me and told me to leave. im sorry ill leave now sorry for bothering you" and he also doesnt feel close to anybody except italy and has to go "brother....... i am.... not feeling good right now........" and cant say much else bc WE SAW IN THE ANIME GERMANY WANTED TO VENT ABT ITALY AND REALIZED HE HAS NOBODY BC HE ONLY IS CLOSE ENOUGH IN THAT WAY TO ITALY. and then cut to italy and hes partying it up because hes pissed off at germany for being on his ass hardcore every single day for the past god knows how long (hate my wife syndrome) until a while later the partying slows down and he has a bunch of moments where he thinks "well usually right now germany would do [thing]" and that builds up until he is hit with the full realization that germany is not going to stay by his side anymore. because hes run away now and hes never ever coming back. and that realization is like the evil version of italy realizing that he loves germany and wants him to ALWAYS be by his side; so much so that hes willing to do what it takes and compromise and be loyal n shit to make that happen. and now italy is freaking out because he doesnt feel this urge ever and now hes already fumbled the dude hes fr in gays with. but this realization is evil because its under a sense of panic and shit so its also motivated by italy feeling a sense of entitlement to having germany by his side and like HES SUPPOSED TO BE HERE.

and from there italy would get back together with germany either easily bc he would just ask and say sorry and germany would go "well to be fair I should have been better as well. yes we should try again i want to too, i will try my best to not fail you this time." or it would be hard because germany would have his mind made up (with prussias support and urging and shit) to be like no italy we arent good for eachother and i cant (shouldnt) forgive you for doing those things to me and italy would be like Oh. and chew glass and freak the fuck out until he decides hes going to use #emotional manipulation and sob to everyone about how germany wont take him back and make everyone hate on germany and call him a terrible guy n shit to make germany feel so guilty and think hes an awful person to italy that he takes italy back. but even then their relationship is now fucked up forever because they live in perfect symbiosis thats their entire thing but now they dont because germany now has doubt of italy because of how he went into their relationship before and didnt give a fuck and italy unlocked his evil paranoia because now when he gets scared that germany will leave him he cant be comforted by thinking that would never happen because IT DID. HE WAS SEPERATED FROM HIM IT IS POSSIBLE TO MAKE GERMANY RUN AWAY. and because of that italy gets a lot more freaky about not wanting anyone to like germany so germany wont like them more than him and being emotionally manipulative and possessive and yandere shit because his paranoia is driving him to it. itager is great because it has so much potential to be evil like italy could emotionally manipulate germany so hard and all that shit but it would never happen because germany is so loyal and obsessed with italy that he never makes italy feel paranoid and like he has to. theyre like imagine if someone who has potential yandere gene in them dated a person who loved them more than anything in the entire universe and bends to their every will and never even glances at another person. that yandere gene is never getting activated bruh and at most manifests when italys like WAHHHH GERMANY YOU WONT LIKE RUSSIA MORE THAN ME RIGHT?? WHY DONT I HAVE THE MOST GERMAN TOURISTS IN THE WORLD WTF IS THERE SOMETHING ABOUT ME I NEED TO CHANGE????? but in the world where they rush things they break up and it disrupts all this homeostasis and makes them a little evil afterwards because italy has excessive paranoia that cant be quenched and germany has autism doubt because "he betrayed me once...... so hell probably betray me again *cries*"

[jazpers-vampyr-kronikkerz]

[1]

Okay! Nosferatu lore

Nosferatu 1922 is based on Dracula the book and all tha,t so the basic plot is the same, but it has some differences that make it its own thing.

Firstly, Count Orlok. He's some sort of a demon, a manifestation of human sin, created as punishment for mankind, who feeds on blood and whose "spell" can cause someone to "lust after blood without reason" (we'll talk about that later). He also shares many characteristics with a rat and has a bunch of rats, who he uses to spread the plague (we will also discuss the plague, maybe). I've had a previous theory, based on two lines which may or may not have been a slight mistranslation, about him being a human who died during the Black Death and reborn as a vampire. But, not sure if that is quite it. Maybe some mix of the two. The script also mentions portraits of his ancestors, which, I don't think demons really have those. What matters is, by the start of the story he poses as a Transylvanian Count, who wishes to purchase property in Wisborg (made up place) in Germany (real place).

In doing so, he reaches out via a very cryptic letter full of unintelligible symbols to a house agent. People call him Knock. What is going on with Knock is unclear - one thing we know for sure, he has some sort of a connection with Orlok. He and Orlok have known eachother before we were introduced to them, since Knock knows how to read that weird mess of letters. Later, Knock becomes the renfieldddddd. Goes mad, starts eating bugs, establishes a psychic connection with Orlok and senses his approach, all that shit, you know how it is. Thing about Knock; Orlok can't really turn people into vampires unlike Dracula, so Knock probably doesn't inherit the other guy's motivation of becoming a vampire. That's where the "spell" line from before comes in. Many have theorized that Knock has been brainwashed into serving Orlok, that seems like a viable explanation to me. Knock is much more devoted, I'd say, even if he's not that useful. He stays loyal until the very end, and either dies or becomes sad when Orlok dies. It's possible that he has been brainwashed and turned into a servant, very likely in fact. I choose to ignore it, excuse the "spell" as love or some shit, and Knock going mad and eating bugs is just how gay people get sometimes when separated by a long distance. We've all been there.

Back to the beginning; Knock hands the task of selling the house over to Thomas Hutter, his employee, a man whom I shall not call a twink but still have the urge to. Thomas Hutter is a very unsuspecting man, probably numbed to it all by the long-term effects of working for someone like Knock, a giggling lunatic (i say this lovingly). Oh. Did I mention that the Hutters are shown to not have the most wealthy lifestyle, and Knock is described as "paying his employees well", and he also tells Hutter that he might get quite a lot of money from the deal (at the cost of just a bit of blood)? I think you can see the themes here. Well, Hutter takes up the journey. Instantly regrets it (I mean, not really instantly. It took him long enough. As I said, a very unsuspecting man). Enough about him let's talk about his wife. He loves his wife, that's what he would have wanted, trust me.

Ellen Hutter! Introduced as Thomas Hutter's wife, indeed, she is. She is a kind woman, I'd say, extremely so - the first line we hear from her is her "Why did you kill those beautiful flowers?" in response to Hutter bringing her a boquet. Normal reaction, don't worry about it. The two are shown to have quite a happy life, they love eachother; that is, until Orlok sees Ellen's portrait, compliments her neck and decides to go to Wisborg to get the blood. When he tries to drink from Hutter, we see that Ellen also has some sort of a telepathic connection, either with Hutter or Orlok, who knows, thing is, she calls out to Hutter and wards Orlok off. So, we've got two telepaths tied to some men. We'll come back to that later. Both Hutter and Orlok arrive to Wisborg; Hutter has a book from which he learned about Orlok (also called Nosferatu), but refuses to let Ellen read it. Not sure why, maybe he thinks that everything he saw was just a hallucination created by the book after all? Anyway, the Plague from Orlok's rats sets in. Ellen has no choice but to investigate; in doing so, she finds out that to destroy Orlok and earn redemption, a willing sinless maiden must sacrifice herself and let Orlok drink her blood until sunrise, until Sun gets him. Ellen, unlike Hutter, instantly knows what she must do. And she does.

ooo :3

i mixed up the names but i’m somewhat sure orlok is the … ratty looking one ??? i think knock is the sorta round fella