#sometimes the holidays suck
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To any witch with holiday anxiety.
To anyone who has to hide the witchy side of themselves from family or coworkers during the winter holidays.
To anyone who has to edit their home decor before relatives visit to avoid an argument.
To anyone who can't celebrate their chosen winter holidays due to an incompatible (or unsafe) home environment.
To anyone who has to grit their teeth through religious services or family gatherings out of obligation or because they don't have a choice.
To anyone who is mentally exhausted by culturally-omnipresent religious trappings well before the holidays even arrive.
To anyone longing for the day when they no longer have to grin and bear it through seasonal festivals or family dinners or office parties where they feel out of place.
To anyone who has to put up with exclusion or insults or outright trauma that make the holidays a season to be endured rather than enjoyed.
December will be over soon. Things will get better. And someday you will be in a place and a position where you can live the life you truly want, where none of their silly little opinions or restrictions or cruelty can touch you or hurt you ever again.
Live, survive, and thrive in spite of them. And let them rot.
Stay strong. 💜
#sometimes the holidays suck#witch community#witchblr#pagan#this is NOT an excuse to hate on people enjoying their religious holidays without being assholes to others#it's just a reminder that you're not alone and someday things will be better for you#sincerely -an old witch who's been there
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I have a new uquiz for you, go on a pilgrimage with me. discover who you are.
#don't you want to go on a nice medieval pilgrimage?#don't you want to rest a little? answer some questions? learn something about yourself?#this was originally a pentiment medieval quiz and now it's this#it's pretty good imo though. i had a lot of fun researching it#yes there really is a biblio. ill write it up soon but its parts of the pentiment biblio plus some stuff i found myself#really thank you to everyone who made pentiment. you know how sometimes you find a piece of art at exactly the right time?#well i discovered pentiment just as my interests perfectly intersected with it. (those interests being history historiography and grief)#have fun etc. tag your results#that's always great#quiz#uquiz#pentiment#medieval#mine#sorry for being absent for a bit. holidays kind of suck#sorry abbie i couldnt fit the saw bathroom in thisone. i couldn't think of a way to do it naturally#i listened to SAVED! and SINNER GET READY the entire time i was writing this so yeah there's a ref. sue me
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Took a break from my lil au for some baby raph relaxation. ☺️❤️ drawing these make me miss babysitting my baby sisters all the time, mind numbing but it was nice just to have the company. Homesick low key
#rottmnt#rottmnt raph#turtle tots#sona#self care#miss home#holidays suck#wish I never moved sometimes#my art
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I got an email from my grandpa today and all the draft responses I’ve been working on in my head sound like an 18th century letter that’s going to have to travel for months to reach him.
pandemic year 5 really has me feeling like me and a very small handful of people I know are living on an entirely different plane of existence than everyone else
#like I haven’t seen him in over a year. I’ve seen him 3 times since 2020#so I guess on the isolation and slow communication front it’s pretty similar#he used my chosen name. I haven’t changed my email yet but he used my chosen name#I don’t even care at this point if he never gets my pronouns right#I thought I’d never be able to tell him. I didn’t want to find out his politics were more important#he’s quiet and kind and he gives people expensive gifts any time he can afford it but he constantly forgets people’s allergies#so he might get you something you can’t have but whoever you pass it along to will love it#he cries at weddings and during church services and sometimes random holidays#he passes out in his rocking chair at every family function#he’s the unofficial photographer of every gathering ever since my great grandfather stopped being able to walk as much as the job requires#and he voted for trump in 2016 and has afaik an active nra membership#he once complimented my outfit by telling me he’d call me a stud if I was a guy#which like. ok. I have some notes#but uh. thanks?#idk I’m just. it sucks being so far away from everyone and everything because the rest of the world is ignoring an ongoing pandemic#I’m missing so much of my life and others lives and even parts of my own transition#I can make steps to reach out but it only goes so far if poeple#are unwilling to mask or vaccinate or even just ask what needs to happen to make it safe#so I don’t. idk. kill my partner#or become even more disabled than I currently am#my family’s been making steps and they’re taking me seriously but it’s all so slow and I’m still sore from bracing for rejection#I’ve been bracing for rejection for so so long it’s terrifying to reach out. about anything#this is not condusive to a healthy relationship lol#not sure what to do other than bonk myself on the head and say ‘get better’ tho#*bonk* ‘try again’#one step at a time ig#ahshitherewegoagain.jpg#.txt
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Next time my uncle says something homophobic at the family function I’m gonna ask him how many queer people he has actually met. Whatever the answer I can look him up and down skeptically and tell him to add one.
I will also then give my father permission to throw hands on my behalf, as he has asked for in the past.
#ra speaks#personal#lgbt#woooo holidays are coming I forgor how much my godparents suck sometimes#and like my aunt is equally as bad but I see my uncle even less than her so he has a higher asshole:normal ratio
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it is always a little funny to me when people try to make psychologists and psychiatrists out to be the only people ever capable of being able to accurately diagnose mental illnesses and disorders and that their word is law as a way to criticize self diagnosis when like. once i was hospitalized and the psychiatrist there who i had not even known for more than a day tried to diagnose me as bipolar despite me having No history of mania because he.. couldn't really understand why i acted the way i did i guess???
#milgran't#tw hospital#tw psych ward#i just randomly remembered this (i say randomly as if i dont know exactly why im thinking about this stuff). dont mind me#tbh i should make a tag for like. more personal posts. but. idk what to make the tag name..#oh well#apologies for not being cool and collected and expressing things that show that im a human with emotions and needs recently#The Holidays are probably. one of the worst times of the year for me </3#its not even seasonal depression or whatever its just Oh Jesus Oh Fuck Oh God (gets hit by 99999 trauma bullets)#that psychiatrist sucked SOOOO fucking bad btw#trying to prematurely diagnose me as bipolar was one of the tamest things he did during my stay#i hate him i genuinely hope he dies <3#tbh i think he actually did. Break The Law with me. he probably couldve argued it was for the safety of others bc im crazy :3. but.#sometimes i just Remember That and im like. huh. hey what the fuck actually#but seriously. so many mental health professionals just make you sit there and go. .. how the FUCK did you get your license??????#ive heard some of The Most ''oh only people who are completely ignorant about mental health say this!'' type of shit from professionals#idk why im the one being labelled as insane when they think saying some of that shit is okay and professional MFKDLSFMDSf
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Man I realized 4th of July is always gonna be the Uncle Death holiday (bc he died on July 3rd) while valentine's day will be Dad Death holiday (bc he died on Feb 17th)
Holidays where seeing the decorations reminds me of the times I lost two of the most important people in my life. Sucks, man.
#speculation nation#negative/#post brought to you by me going to the store and seeing 4th of july decorations already#and me being like. ah...#like i already wasnt a big fan of the holiday given. im not a big fan of the USA lol#but. hm.#anyways with both dad and uncle dead i dont think i have anyone in my life that can work a grill#maybe i need to become the grill master. bc man sometimes i do feel the fatal american desire to have a good cookout#wouldve been nice to learn from them. but idk.#i mean i guess my dad's lifelong best friend is still there but i dont tend to see him as regularly as i did my dad or uncle.#and i mean it's about the principle of it ykno? i should have my dad and uncle around to work the grill for us#but theyre both dead now. and in a month it'll be the 4th of july. and my uncle will have been dead for a year.#the year of death is almost over but the anniversaries are only beginning. this sucks.
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90% of what makes perfects hard is just the fact that it's a perfect and you'll hear the dreaded perfect breaking noise if you fuck up. i hate that noise so fucking much it brings me pain it just sounds so fucking terrible-
#puppy rambles#rhythm hell#sensory issues suck#that's why fourth of july and new year's are the worst holidays. fireworks suck#n i don't mean the rhythm heaven game. though fireworks also isn't very good ngl-#i don't really understand the timing for the rhythm rockets#n even when i do input at the right time it just doesn't pick up my input sometimes#that's not even just an emulator issue it happens on actual hardware too#my struggle with bon dance was input lag but fireworks is just inexplicably really fucking hard#every medley remix has a part that's a perfect breaker n i feel like for remix 6 that's fireworks#if you didn't fuck up in rap men that is. idk what's up with the timing there it's fucked#love how the only medley remix without a swing part is ds remix 10#fever has two swing sections-#technically three i guess since the first one gets broken up by micro-row#shrimp shuffle > board meeting#double date (it's at least swung in remix 10 i think) > donk-donk#exhibition match > launch party > love rap#n night walk's by itself#i think the shrimp shuffle > board meeting n double date > donk-donk parts count as one tbh#sure it's broken up by micro-row but they're close enough together it was clearly intentional#remix 6 has rap men > showtime > sneaky spirits > bon odori > fireworks#left-hand just has exhibition match > kitties!#right-hand has sneaky spirits > launch party > glee club#final might not actually have one??? does final have any swing games-#excluding cosmic dance. it is swung normally but. title screen medley
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Not me getting adverts for notoriously anti-LGBTQ organization The Salvation Army on tumblr.com, one of the most queer places on the internet.
How interesting.
#lol#this is a good time to remind you#salvation army sucks#there are better orgs to support during the winter holiday season#also advertising on tumblr gets weird sometimes
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There's something really special when you don't have to worry about your stims bothering others because you're with people who don't mind your stims or bother you about it! 🥹
Shout out to people who let others stim freely and don't make a big deal about it. You have no idea how much that means!
#granted my stims/fidgeting usually aren't too crazy but sometimes they can be a lot and so it's nice I can stim freely and not worry! :D#If I suddenly get bursting with energy and need to stim or bounce around I usually try and do it outside or somewhere else but it's nice#when you can do it whenever and wherever because you're with kind people who love you no matter what :D#I get twitchy when trying to be still. why sometimes my typing gets wild because being still to go on computer while excited is hard#I have ADHD but I also had the “Quiet Hands” done to me by a certain teacher back in elementary school and that SUCKED. Made me cry#I bounce my legs and kick my feet and play with hair and clothign and do happy dances and sometimes make sounds but I've STILL#had people get mad about those small things!#literally over holidays had people mad I was fidgeting with MY OWN jewelry! >:( “it makes you look childish” shut up!#idk just scuttled around a bunch as I'm happy and it's really nice stimming freely :D#neurodivergent#adhd#<-I happen to have adhd but this is just ANYONE who stims :D#...I really loved the bell! :D#Mad rambles
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Well, I was having a bad day...until this afternoon.
#the way I got so excited about these emails#it really is the little things in life sometimes#working in retail during the holiday sucks#just so you know#Support Your Local Library#NetGalley#tbr for the month just got a little longer#whoops
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I do think platonic betrayal is a deeply underexplored and fascinating narrative
#echos personal rambles#holiday star is very very good is what this post is about btw#but also just. in media in general there is something SO INTERESTING about friends turning against each other#especially cause in platonic relationships a lot of stuff is just. so much more undefined#like two people can both think of each other as friends but have entirely different#perceptions of their closeness or obligations to each other#in a way where parsing what even counts as a 'betrayal' can be so messy#though. honestly i personally CANNOT consume too many toxic friendship narratives cause they can get triggering for me#sometimes really well written ones exist (which is why holistar is my favorite game ever)#but sometimes they just. hurt.#platonic storylines just hit harder idk!#like i can interact with romance media the same way i do with like... sci-fi.#i dont feel romantic attraction so it is a fun little narrative device for me#whereas platonic storylines actually fully suck me into the story and hurt me#which means that they can be very very good and impactful for me#but also if theyre handled in certain ways they can mess me up a little
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ootd features the words "black dress" in its lyrics and people are like oh! this is a reference to another group's song, "black dress"!
i'm unwell.
#shrimp thoughts#also 'you people just Don't Understand' part 2: apparently there will be Part Two. just like with gee idle's allergy and queen/card#which. lol. apparently 'when allergy came out people were shocked because the it was basically 'if you're ugly tough shit just get a#surgery' but once queen/card came out everything was clear!' and like. how was it clear. what was clear.#one song is 'boo hoo i'm so ugly i hate looking at myself in the mirror and no one likes me i should get plastic surgery'#and the other is like 'ya hoo i'm so hot and sexy i'm like these two western celebrities!!!! i'm so cool i'm twerking on the runway'#kp/op kinda sucks balls in that it's like.... musical equivalent of tjlc crossed with marvel. it's basic ass pop made to sell except with a#faux deep garnish. and sometimes the garnish stands on its own! like if you take guerrilla it's clear that there's actually no deeper or#more detailed philosophy behind it. it's not really n.o where the 'rebellion' was actually supposed to be against something concrete#it's like. we want to feel! we don't want... not to feel! but the sound and visuals are strong enough that you don't mind it#like fuck yeah the lads are staging a revolution now! and now they're outlaws in a western! sort of! and now it's alice in wonderland!#but v often the companies actively make use of the fact that kp/op stans will obsessively look for Depth and Serious Themes in their#cultural reset slaying sotys. a girl looks at a butterfly? oh the song is about having an identity crisis like in that one poem about a guy#dreaming about being a butterfly. it's actually very deep and you can see it was all planned because there was a little butterfly icon#above the tracklist. and the fans get so attached to their headcanons theories and interpretations that they don't stop for a second#to check if there was anything in the 'text' in the first place#remember that one magritte post? this is also how kp/op stans interpret things. she wears a blue dress here and blue is the color of summer#and summer is when you have holidays and don't have to go to school! so by this blue dress she's trying to say that you should love#yourself and strive to be the best version of yourself by embracing your hobbies and extracurricular interests. this is so genius 😭
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We haven’t even done thanksgiving yet but I’m already worried about how crushingly lonely I’m going to feel on new years eve
#the past like 3 years have felt pretty awful!#on new years eve specifically I mean#because I am 1. alone 2. depressed 3. uninterested 4. pessimistic#so I mainly just stay in my room and go to bed when I’m tired. even if it’s before 12am#sometimes I go downstairs for a bit to hang out with my family but usually it sucks super bad because of drunk parents#anyway. it’s never a pleasant holiday for me#dead text
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How do I explain I’m kind of really fixated on dog skeletons after my dog passing away without it coming off like I’m losing it
#it’s just nice thinking about how she’s at peace now#I miss her a lot and it’s painful I want to hold her again I want to tell her how much I love her again but it’s okay now#I’m glad she got to see me get better I just wish she could see me get even healthier and better#I decorate her urn now for the holidays#she has Halloween snoopy stickers and an orange flower on her right now#I still cry over her tomorrow is a month without he but it feels like it’s been five years#but it’s funny her passing away right before Halloween bc she hated being dressed up#it rained the night after she passed too and she hated the rain so it’s kinda funny she died right before her least favorite weather#my other dog still looks for her around the house and outside#she still waits for her#sometimes I think I hear her barking outside#she was doing so well until she wasn’t and that’s what sucks so much
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every time i get off the phone with one of my parents, i'm like "FUUUUUCK I HURT THEIR FEELINGS AGAAAAIIINNN"
#gdi#tbh i am also a little sad 'cause my dad said not 2 visit him during the holidays + just stay in + not celebrate#idk what anyone wants from me#it just hurts when u love someone + they blatantly say 'don't spend the holidays with me'#but i can't look into it or overthink it.#all i know is that ouch! it stings a little.#it also sucks cause it's like sometimes i'm really fucking tired. sometimes people have been treating me bad or i need a nap#and i come off a little flat while i'm listening 2 them. i try so hard 2 be enthusiastic but sometimes i'm just exhausted. it doesn't mean#that i don't love them!!!! i'm just tired!!!!#like my mom called me while i was napping + i could tell i hurt her feelings bc i wasn't using my bubbly voice with her but#i just get tired sometimes!!!! i try so hard 2 be polite!!!!!!#also can i just say it's hilarious 'cause last night i wrote a scene into this book about this 'cause i was like 'this is just bad enough#that it's possible but it wouldn't actually happen in my family' + then it does
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