#but sometimes they just. hurt.
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I do think platonic betrayal is a deeply underexplored and fascinating narrative
#echos personal rambles#holiday star is very very good is what this post is about btw#but also just. in media in general there is something SO INTERESTING about friends turning against each other#especially cause in platonic relationships a lot of stuff is just. so much more undefined#like two people can both think of each other as friends but have entirely different#perceptions of their closeness or obligations to each other#in a way where parsing what even counts as a 'betrayal' can be so messy#though. honestly i personally CANNOT consume too many toxic friendship narratives cause they can get triggering for me#sometimes really well written ones exist (which is why holistar is my favorite game ever)#but sometimes they just. hurt.#platonic storylines just hit harder idk!#like i can interact with romance media the same way i do with like... sci-fi.#i dont feel romantic attraction so it is a fun little narrative device for me#whereas platonic storylines actually fully suck me into the story and hurt me#which means that they can be very very good and impactful for me#but also if theyre handled in certain ways they can mess me up a little
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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pick your battles
#my art#my stuff#art#comic#original art#pride 2024#pride month#trans allegory..... or not even allegory. just trans .... ^_^#i technically cannot come out yet but i don't think the people who i need to not see this stalk my tumblr#i know they stalk everything else like my twitter and my instagram but this might be safe#so fuck it we yap. this is a comic about picking your battles#this is a comic about how for almost a year now everyone at home in singapore has been crying about my sore throat#my terrible fucked up voice. my you know. etc#i came out as not cis and using they/them pronouns in 2015 when i was 14#but no one ever used my pronouns. none of my classmates or friends even up until i left for college in 2020#from 2020 onwards every year i wrote an angry vulnreable essay about how much it hurts that they dont remember#and people would dm me apologizing on their hands and knees and commending my bravery#and then forget about it all over again. id ont mean 'they misgender me and then catch it and apologize and correct themselves'#i mean they dont even get that far#and so you might ask yourself: why have you kept them around all this time?#and i would have to explain that by pure bad luck i grew up in the most conservative close minded community#that all of my ex classmates that stayed in singapore are cishet and upper middle class and chinese singaporean#that i Am the trans person. that they were able to ignore me for a decade partially because there was no one else#so this is a comic about how there is dignity and grace in staying in the closet sometimes#about how not everyone deserves to see you at your happiest. about how some people can go fuck themselves#you know your truth and THATS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS!!! YEAH!!! i love you
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I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wen ning#wei wuxian#wen qing#jiang cheng#Truly Massive disclaimer here: I am a Jiang Cheng enjoyer. I like his character. I enjoy that he is very flawed and volatile.#This episode of the audio drama has a lot of great breakdown scenes featuring JC - and they all deserve a feature.#But underlying this comic is a small meta comment of 'ah man I have too many comics of JC just wailing sadly'#My goal is to draw 6-8 comics per episode - I sometimes have to truncate and cut good scenes out.#Especially when a large majority is just different flavours of trauma and toxic relationships to your self-worth.#I would also like to make a note here that just because you lose the ability to do something that is very tied to your core identity-#-does not mean your life is over. It will feel like the end of the world. It will send you into a spiral of grief. It will hurt so badly.#Sometimes we do not realize how tied up our identities can be in certain things until we are cut loose.#You don't lose yourself. I promise the pain will fade in time. I promise you will find other things to tether you. I promise you will be ok#Life moves forwards. Time moves forwards. You move forwards.#Ego death just means an opportunity for ego rebirth. You are never committed to being the same person forever.#To wrap this around to JC: Yeah I love the twist with the core transfer but man I would have loved to see JC accept the loss.#Obviously it happens for a reason (story) but I can have my AUs. I can have these 'what-ifs'.#described in alt text#I'm trying it out! *please* give me feedback - I want to eventually Add image ID to all of these comics one day
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What’s worse than hurting someone you love so very much?
Not having the capacity to feel anything about it
Yet you still stand there and wonder if you’re an awful friend for it
#something something Killer loves Color so so much but he can’t muster the empathy when at stage 2#yet still his mind screams at him for being oh so stupid#and yet the body never listens when the mind begs it to do something#something something lacking empathy doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or friend#cause it doesn’t change the fact you love your friends and family so much#it just means you show it in different ways that are atypical a lot of the time#something something color spectrum duo don’t have a perfect relationship at all but that doesn’t change how much they love each other#something something Killer and Color will always love each other despite the hurt they cause each other sometimes#anothers art#color spectrum duo#othertale#something new#epictale#ultratale#vitaltale#killer sans#color sans#epic sans#delta sans#something new au
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Imagine Vi when she gets jealous… 🤭
I’ve seen this theory on tiktok saying that Caitlyn would be the jealous type, and Vi would be the more laid back one. But idk…
Caitlyn grew up as an only child, so she was used to getting everything she wanted, and never had to share. But with Vi, she had a sibling and other people to take care of. So she’s used to sharing everything.
But imagine if her s/o were to make her jealous on purpose. I do not think she would take it too lightly 👀
Idk, what do you think?
mmMMmmm yes good for sure let's talk about it; slight to medium angst ahead (w/ slight suggestiveness at the end), don't say i didn't warn you now !!
bc i think vi would be jealous, but i think it'd be different than cait's specific brand of jealousy, right. bc i think the thing on tiktoks not wrong like, cait's always had stuff belong to her, and vi's always had to share, but like i don't think it's the sharing aspect that would get to vi, it would be like her being deeply afraid that you might leave her (haha i love PAIN). because her whole life, all she's known is loss, and her biggest fear is change, right? but like... you lose people enough times and it's hard to stop from wondering if it's you and not them :( and her insecurities would be that someone else is making you feel xyz, and not her instead
like if someone else were to buy you a drink at a bar, or tell you a joke and make you laugh, she'd get SO jealous that she's not the one doing it, or that you're not smiling at her like that, and she'd wonder if you liked that person better than her. and to a certain degree, i do think that like it would come off in the same way, like jealous gf is do be jealous. but the root of it would be different.
and no, i don't think she'd take it lightly at all if her s/o were doing it on purpose.
she'd make short work of whoever the fuck is with you, either slip an arm around your waist or just tap them on the shoulder and --
"sorry, you're just in the way of me and my girlfriend here --"
and i think it'd manifest at first as anger. bc that's how a lot of vi's feelings manifest LOL and she'd be mad and yank you behind her, pull you somewhere private, be like --
"what was that?"
"what was..." you frown, concern flashing in your eyes as you look over her face. and her expression is so tight, so guarded. it's been so long since you've seen her like this. "vi...? you know that... i wasn't serious about that... right?"
she scoffs, "yeah? seemed like you were having a pretty good time --"
"i -- i was just trying to get us some free drinks! a-and..." you chew on your lips, looking away, "i -- i thought it'd be hot to... i dunno... make you jealous..."
vi sighs, her breath thready as she runs her hands through her hair.
"god, dollface..." she sounds exhausted and wired all at once, and you can't help feeling a sharp spate of guilt twist in your gut.
"vi... i'm so sorry -- i didn't mean --"
she lets out a shaky breath, reaching forward to cup your face with both her hands, her eyes overbright and desperate.
"just... don't -- i'm --"
you curl your fingers around hers, press your cheek into the warmth of her palms.
"i'm not... i'd never leave you, vi..."
she leans forward at your words, presses her forehead against you. a soft, helpless chuckle echoes from her chest to yours.
"yeah? gonna be mine forever, cupcake?"
you laugh, nodding, even as she tugs you forward to graze your lips along hers.
"yeah -- i'm always gonna be yours, vi."
she hums against your lips, her hands trailing down to your neck, pulling you close, and then closer.
"good," she breathes, her voice dipping low as a summer sunset, and nearly just as hot, "now say it again --" she drops her lips to your neck, biting a line down the column of your throat.
you gasp, head tipping back.
"a-always... gonna be y-yours, violet --"
"mm -- again --"
"f-fuck vi -- i'm -- yours -- n-ngh!" she'd look up at you from where she's dropped to her knees in front of you, watching you with those big, baby blue eyes of hers.
she'd flash you a tiny smile that tells you you're forgiven, if only a bit, but the way she nips at your skin just a bit harder than usual and jerks down your pants tells you that she's still feeling vindictive and that you're really, really in for it tonight.
"again," she says, her voice hoarse.
"'m yours, violet -- hah... please..."
your head tips back as her fingers dig into the plush of your thighs and forces them apart.
"again."
#⛈ monsoon season#♨ steamy#woof thinking about that really actually kinda hurt me :( sldkfjsd but i hope the ?? not rly smut makes up for it at the end?#vi x reader#arcane x reader#vi smut#arcane smut#arcane vi smut#vi arcane smut#vi arcane x reader#arcane vi x reader#vi x you#arcane x you#wlw writing#wlw smut#lesbian#dude sometimes if i think about vi too hard i get sad#it's why i write so many fics for her LOL i just want her to be happy#LOOK LISTEN I RESPCT THE ANGST GAME I REALLY REALLY DO#i think i could write angst for some of my other favs bUT NOT FOR VI SHES SUFFERED ENOUGH#that one meme of 'someone will see a fictional character and say i will write you one hundred happy endings' thats literally me#vi's not allowed to hurt in my fics so sorry that's just not who i am LOL#arcane
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just looking at these hand poses was enough to give me carpal tunnel and that's how u know they're prime megu material
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#megumi fushiguro#yuuji itadori#megumi#yuuji#fanart#jjk fanart#itafushi#sometimes u gotta take a break from drawing megumi to draw different megumi and thats on self care#smiling megu for the soul he said heart emoji i said :D#i tried to do the poses myself and . u kno. im not convinced hands are meant to contort that way guys :( it hurt :(#so yuuji can share my pain i think tht bit is cute#tried smth a bit different w the skin rendering and i rly rly like it holy#very early era vacuumchan inspired :'> lov them SM sighs#also ripped megus jacket directly from a pinterest fit bc one of us deserves nice things :((((#if sukuna wont stop wearing megumi in canon ill just play dress up to cope
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i feel like social media has warped people’s perception of conflict in relationships by making you think that any minor fuck up is the end of the world and everyone is secretly a narcissist manipulator with sinister motives, because actually in real life you just say “i’m sorry, that was a bad thing, i shouldn’t have done that” and the other person says “thank you for apologising” and then that’s the end of it
#ramble#i hate that it took until my 20s to realise that i can’t go through my life just trying not to hurt people. because it will happen#it just does happen sometimes#and you have to drop out of the tiktok school of ‘i’m incapable of doing anything wrong ever and everyone else is the problem’#and get comfortable with making mistakes and learning from them#you’re fine. it’s fine#disclaimer obviously this doesn’t mean you don’t have to try to be kind or considerate anymore as long as you apologise. use your brain
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sorry these kinds of comments have been really pissing me off recently lol
#it's been kinda hard for me to pinpoint WHY exactly these sort of comments feel insulting#but i think it's mostly because it implies my original work is purposefully and inherently derivative of things i have no connection to#while i think being derivative in art is. kinda unavoidable in a sense (and something i'm aware i do consciously and unconsciously)#it feels like a slap in the face when people imply that my work cannot hold its own merit and need to be compared to#something in the popular conscious#and like sometimes people don't know it's original art which is fine#but it also doesn't hurt to ask if it's original instead of just. immediately assuming or comparing it to something else#i know this will only get more difficult as i continue to drift away from fanart and fan works#but i really want to be able to be proud of my original work and i want to share more! because it's a part of me!!#but its really hard when it feels like i'm always going to be compared to things people care about more!!!! AAAUGH#god. ok sorry i need to get that off my chest. if anyone compares computer angel to TMA again im gonna start eating drywall#fern's sketchbook
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Dev this is serious stop beatboxing.
#fop nature au#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#dev dimmadome#fop dev#dale dimmadome#emetophobia#art#digital art#fanart#comic#Sorry for taking so long on this I was procrastinating bcs its just kinda a context page that needs to exist for other stuff to happen#I love it when they interact like disgruntled roommates#like on one had he SHOT HIM on the other hand whats Dev supposed to do? Go no contact?? Hes ten#This takes place like 2 days after the deer attack#Dale got whisked away to fairy world to get speed healed and had his memory wiped of the whole thing#Devs relationship with his dad is so messy cause like yes his dad hurt him but also thats his dad and he loves him.#even if his dad doesnt love him back#He wants to Want To Hurt his dad. thats the right way to feel about after what he did. and he does feel that way sometimes.#but on some level its was kind of a relief to hear that he couldnt wish harm on people#because even if he could he isnt sure he could go through with it#and there would be nothing worse than having the power to do something and yet. not#sorry if that sounds insane#complicated relationships with your abuser my beloved#also just the quiet acceptance Dev has for (what he thinks is) Peri straight up lying to his face#Dev likes Peri a lot but he is also deeply aware that Peri hides a lot of things from him#I think he appreciates that Peri tries to shield his feelings. His dad doesnt do that#ofc Peri isnt actually lying here I just think the layers of such a small interaction are hilarious
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“Open your eyes and look at what you did.”
Lena was tired. Fixing the world was heavy work, especially when it involved cracking the secrets of the ultimate weapon of a dead empire. Myriad was tucked away safely in her lab behind shielding and laser grids and the most advanced security systems in the world, but was most of all protected by Kara’s reputation. Supergirl couldn’t just smash her way into a building and steal something, especially not now, with so much public scrutiny against her.
Lena was expecting a night at home. Not to relax -she hasn’t relaxed until her brother’s wormy lips, turning blue in death, spilled those four little words and cracked her heart in half, broke it into so many pieces that all the king’s horses and all the king’s men and not even Supergirl could put it together again. What was left of her capacity for that kind of love was gone now. Lex had started the process of ripping it out.
Lena has finished it, casting the bloody shreds on the icy floor of a mausoleum in the arctic, not turning back even once to see.
She knew the DEO was watching her every move, waiting for her to make a mistake that she could seize on. She knew they were itching to take her out. Kara would probably lead the charge herself. She’d crow about how she didn’t want to do this and didn’t want to hurt Lena and then she’d perp walk her like a villain of the week.
It wasn’t remorse that swirled in her stomach. It wasn’t regret that iced her veins. It wasn’t sorrow that made her eyes burn, and it wasn’t doubt that made the clicks of her heels echo in her empty lifeless penthouse.
She did not feel any of those things. Soon, no one ever would again. A world without lies, without strife, without pain. Those twisting, burning emotions would be gone. For everyone.
For her.
Lena froze when she heard the soft click of a hammer being thumbed back on a pistol.
“Turn around.”
Lena tensed. Alex. She should have expected this- Alex didn’t care about the rules when it came to her sister.
Slowly, Lena turned. Alex was right behind her, gun in one hand, phone in the other. She started to play a video on the screen. Lena recognized it at once as the Fortress of Solitude.
“Why?” Alex choked out. “Why did it have to be you?”
Lena pressed her eyes shut, scrambling for something to say. There was a real chance that this confrontation ended with her in a pool of blood on the floor.
“Open your eyes, you bitch! Open your eyes and look at what you did!”
Lena opened them and was confronted with what she had refused to see before, what she had turned from before portalling out. Like a biblical prophet she knew that if she but turned back for a last look she’d have been undone.
Alex recorded Kara locked in the cage as she approached, calling her sister’s name. Kara didn’t respond. She simply lay curled on the floor, faint green scratches scored in her exposed skin. As Alex drew nearer, Lena could hear Kara making a peculiar sound- a rhythmic, trilling thrum, a deep basso rumble as if she were… purring.
And sobbing.
Lena tried to look away but Alex’s expression tightened. Lena forced herself to stare into the screen- the picture blurred as Alex must have been fumbling with the Kryptonian controls. Finally, the crystal cage retracted.
“Kara,” Alex was saying. “Kara, oh my god, where’s Lena? Is she alright?”
Lena flinched. Alex’s jaw tightened as their eye briefly met.
Kara’s face was a mask of pain and grief, clouded with an agony deeper than any physical hurt.
“It was Lena.”
“What?”
“It was Lena. She took Myriad from the armory and she… she was so mad, Alex. It was like she h-hated me. She was lying the whole time after I told her who I was, she already knew and she was so mad. Alex I think she hates me now.”
Kara began to sob and make that damned purring sound at the same time.
“Don’t hurt her,” Kara whimpered, “don’t hurt her, Alex. She’s good, I promise she’s good she just needs our help.”
Alex turned off the video and pressed the muzzle of her gun to Lena’s forehead.
Lena closed her eyes.
“I have every reason to,” Alex began.
“Do it,” Lena hissed. “It’s what we both want, just fucking do it. She’ll get over it.”
“No,” Alex choked out, her voice drowning in emotion. “No she won’t, ever. She has an eidetic memory. If I blow your fucking head off like I should, her last memory of you will be that, what you did to her in her most sacred place, forever.”
“Good,” Lena snapped, opening her eyes. “Good. Then she’ll know how I feel.”
“Yeah? How’s that?”
“Like she tore my heart out. I believed in her. I gave myself to her in a way I never have for anyone else. I let her in after I swore on my mother’s grave I’d never let anyone else hurt me like… like someone else did. She hammered her way into my life with her kindness and her concern and her comfort and it was all a FUCKING LIE, Alex!”
Lena sucked in a hitching breath and went on, forcing herself to go on as she blinked to force the tears from her eyes.
“It was all a lie. I’m just a Luthor to her, to you, to all of you. I sat in that apartment on game nights and movie nights and you all knew. You all knew, and you mocked me. So many cryptic comments and weird little jokes and now I know why. I let myself believe it. I let myself believe she wanted me. She kept trying to tell me something over and over and she kept backing away from it and…”
Lena froze.
The gun fell away, and Alex just stared at her.
“Oh my God. Oh my fucking God,” Alex gasped.
“No,” Lena protested, “no it’s not that!”
“You’re in love with her, aren’t you? Holy fuck, how did I not see this before? You bought a billion dollar publishing company on a whim for her. The flowers, the way you looked at me before she told you I’m her sister. Jesus. Jesus Christ, Lena. You God damn drama queen.”
“I’m a drama queen? You pointed a gun at my head!”
Alex racked the slide back, and turned the weapon so Lena could see the follower of the empty magazine had locked it open. It was unloaded.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Lena screeched.
“I came here to tell you to give me Myriad back and stay the hell away from my sister,” said Alex.
“You pointed a real gun at my head! I don’t care if it was unloaded, the first rule of gun safety is…”
“You thought it was something else,” said Alex.
“God damn it,” Lena began, but Alex cut her off.
“You thought she was working up to tell you something else. You thought she was going to confess her love, didn’t you?”
Lena went completely still.
She had know it, of course. She had known it the way that she knew the sun would rise in the east and set in the west, the way way she knew the stars would shine and the tide would beat against the shore. She had known it in the hollows of her bones, in places she forgot she could feel.
She had not known she knew it.
Lex’s words buffeted her from memory and she felt a knew shattering, even deeper this time.
“I fucked up,” someone said, only it was Lena, her own voice echoing from somewhere far distant. She was only dimly aware of the painful jolt in her tailbone as she slid down the cabinet behind her and her ass landed on the hardwood floor.
“When Lex told me, he proved it. He proved it. I didn’t want to see it but he proved it to me. I’m not what she wants. She’ll never want me like I want her.”
Alex looked down at her and Lena watched her expression shift, dancing through a dozen different emotions.
“It hurts, doesn’t it?”
“Yeah.”
“You have anything to drink here? Something good, I don’t want to pussy around with box wine. This is a whiskey occasion.”
Perplexed, Lena simply said, “Side cupboard, there’s a bottle of single malt and some tumblers.”
Alex didn’t bother with the glasses. She took out the bottle and uncapped it, whistling softly before she took a long pull straight from the bottle.
“Smooth,” she said, not even wincing. “Shit, this bottle probably costs a month of my rent.”
“It was my dad’s favorite,” Lena muttered. “My first drink was that scotch. He gave me a little sip when I was twelve. Lillian screeched at him for it.”
“She would, she’s a thundering bitch,” said Alex.
Alex sat down and passed Lena the bottle. She took a drink and passed it back, and they sat there in silence for a while, passing drinks back and forth.
“See I’m not a shrink or anything,” said Alex, “but if I had to analyze this situation I think what I see is you hurting Kara hoping that she’ll hurt you back and validate your feelings so you can stop feeling sad about her.”
“Fuck you,” Lena muttered.
“Not my type. Besides, bro code. My sister has dibs.”
Lena almost spat out a mouthful of scotch. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“You know when she’s doing the zoom zoom thing, she has a comms piece in her ear. I listen in on what she’s doing,” Alex began to imitate Kara in a grating falsetto. “Lena you have to jump!”
“What?”
“Remember that time she was going to let the entire city’s water supply be poisoned to save you?”
Lena took another pull before passing the bottle back.
“Yeah,” said Lena, not caring that her Irish accent was slipping out.
“Or that time she flew you to the DEO after Edge poisoned you?”
“She saves people all the time,” Lena protested.
“Yeah, but she doesn’t bridal carry them to safety and moon over them like a lovesick teenager and do the whole brushing their hair back thing. She says something corny and flies off. Unless it’s you. The whole world goes on pause when it’s you.”
“It can’t be.”
Alex took a way too long drink and looked at her.
“Did it never occur to you that she might have two secrets? That the one might compel her to keep the other?”
Lena rubbed at her eyes. The whisky was weighing heavily on her, and before she knew it, she was sobbing.
To her utter shock, Alex rubbed her back.
“Here’s what we do. You and me go get Myriad,”
“I’m too drunk to drive.”
“Then call your chauffeur, you spoiled rich brat,” Alex snapped, “and we go get Myriad and we go back to the DEO. You apologize and you and Kara talk this out, and you remember that if you ever physically harm my sister again I actually will shoot you.”
“Also,” said Lena. “You and I. You and I will go get Myriad, not you and me.”
Lena yanked the bottle back and finished it.
“Okay. Okay fine, let’s-“
There was a double thud as boot heels hit the balcony, a sound Lena had long grown used to. She and Alex both watched as Kara slid the balcony door open and swept into the penthouse, cape flaring majestically behind her.
God she was so pretty, and so handsome. She was like a brave knight in some fairytale, head bowed and jaw set like she was marching to a battle she wasn’t sure she could win.
Lena’s chest ached.
“We need to talk,” Kara intoned. “I’m not going to hurt you anymore, but I can’t let you do something you’ll regret forever. I…”
She trailed off as she saw a very drunk Alex sitting next to a very drunk Lena Luthor, the pair sitting against Lena’s kitchen cabinets and dishwasher, respectively, having clearly finished off the empty bottle of scotch that sat between them.
“What the hell?” said Kara.
“Did she just cuss?” said Alex.
“She did,” said Lena.
“What is this? What are you two doing? Alex, is that your gun?”
“Yeah,” said Alex. “I’m gonna get an Uber so you two can talk this out.”
“What?” Kara said, utterly baffled.
As she stood, Lena drew her legs up and hugged her knees. She looked away at first, then looked up and made herself meet Kara’s eyes.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she whimpered.
With a tenderness that belied her strength, Kara gently raised Lena to her feet. She’d kicked off her heels and Kara loomed over her, soft hands that could crush steel resting gently on her arms. Lena couldn’t bear the weight of her concern. Seeing the worry in Kara’s eyes, the unconditional compassion, hurt her as much as staring into the sun.
“I’m the one who should be sorry,” said Kara. “I’m the one who should apologize. You were right, Lena. I forced myself into your life and pushed past all your barriers but I never lowered mine. I tried to live in your heart but made you live like a guest in mine. You deserve better.”
“I don’t want better,” Lena whispered. “I want you.”
Kara went very still.
“You want me?”
“I’m so sorry I hurt you, Kara.”
Kara took a half step forward and pulled Lena into an embrace, guiding her into a hug. As those arms like stone walls curled around her and the cape sheltered her against Kara’s unnatural, fever-hot warmth, Lena choked back a hitching sob. It almost felt like it would be okay.
“It’s alright,” Kara whispered. “It’ll be okay. We can come back from this.”
“How? I hurt you, Kara.”
“I forgive you.”
“You can’t just-“
“Shhh,” Kara nuzzled against the crown of Lena’s head. “I’m Supergirl. I can do anything.”
#supercorp#supergirl fanfiction#supergirl#supercorp fanfic#lena luthor#kara danvers#kara x lena#karlena#supergirl fanfic#ficlet#love confession#big sister alex#Alex giving a shovel talk#Alex the Wingman#rift fix#sad lena luthor#sad kara danvers#fortress scene rewrite#Kryptonians can purr#idiots in love#star-crossed soulmates#Lena always knew#she just didn’t know she knew#lena luthor needs a hug#kara danvers needs a hug#Lena Luthor brings baby girl energy to the fight#Kara has daddy swagger#the people who love us most hurt us most sometimes#hot take: what Lena did at the fortress was physical abuse#hot take 2: Kara had a lot to apologize for
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do the silly thing. if you do not do the silly thing time will pass and it will not be the same silly thing it could have been. it will still be silly, and it will still be yours, but it will not be the same. this is both a blessing and a curse, but so is living; and if you do not do it now when will you? who will? it has to be you, it was always meant for you, waiting for you.
#this is about writing for me but could be about anything (that is not hurtful to urself or others. very important)#that's why it is silly (affectionate) or cringey (affectionate) like u gotta just let yourself go sometimes. you have to do the thing.#even if it is terrible horrible (not what you want) bc at least then it EXISTS. at least it holds space in the universe and it lives outsid#you can let it sit and rot and gather dust but at least then you can go back to it. even if it's horrible there is at LEAST at least -#one kernel of it that you can bring into the next piece. at least one shining pearl of something.#even if it needs work or months in those lil funky rock tumblers for geodes and gemstones and all. even if needs SO much work.#at least it is there!!! and it is yours!!!#it's your call to action if it's something u want w/ all your heart.#or even a piece of it. if it's something you want? well - it's already yours. it always has been.#you just have to take the first step / the first breath / and begin.#scribbles.
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ref sheet that shows the extent of his injuries (he's in his pajamas)
#**continuously puts him through hell**#i know this isn't a very realistic depiction of burnt scars but I just wanted to show which parts of his body were the most affected#*Springdad says they still hurt/itch sometimes#TOAST RABBIT /ref#springdad au#starbsart#it's not exactly winter where i live anymore but is still cold anyway. I'm using a sweater rn so uhhh yea#he usually sleeps shirtless during warmer seasons (mosquitoes be eating him alive)#fnaf
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'my cousin is all stomach and no heart' is such a funny thing for illario to tell rook if he maybe is picking up on a little bit of a Vibe going on there. the 'LMAO. well good luck with that friend. better hotties than you have tried and failed and dashed themselves against the legendarily unamorous cliffs of my cousin's complete obliviousness and lack of interest to no avail. (optional 'may I suggest a more hah-hem *undoes another few buttons on his shirt that thing is open almost to his navel now it's borderline obscene* available dellamorte for your consideration. I mean if you're like in the market for one anyway' devious undertone as you see fit)' energy is off the charts.
(illario is above all a funny petty bitch and that's why I love him so indescribably. no no lucanis is right we need him around to drop shade like this he is in fact also an essential crow. we all contribute in our own ways)
#also I need to see his face when he realizes that lucanis IS in fact fucking that weird little goth twink. On The Regular and w enthusiasm#'of ALL the people who've thrown themselves at you over the years THIS is what you go for?? 'festooned in skulls' is your thing???'#(lucanis' thing is emotional security and safe sincere enduring affection but I don't think illario could grasp that in a thousand years)#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#illario dellamorte#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#I actually think the writing as it stands for illario could work really well if the voice direction had been better#the voice actor is using such an obvious aggro Ze Evil Voice tone the whole way through I think if he was more soft-spoken#and more seemingly good-naturedly jocular and sometimes vulnerable the actual words work well enough to add some subtlety#(I mean. not a lot of subtlety. it's not like you'd wonder who the traitor is and I frankly don't think you're really meant to#that's not the point. it's a car crash you have to watch. but it would make the emotional tone a bit different and more compelling)#between that and some of the environmental storytelling -- the burned letter from zara even though the whole house is FULL#of venatori there's really no point in like. hiding evidence at this point lol vs. the one he wrote lucanis lying neatly on a table#in the same room -- the fact that he can't bring himself to hurt caterina. he seems to be staying in the room across the hall from her.#you know there are some signs here that just maybe#lucanis' hopes for him are not as completely incomprehensibly delusional as it looks on the surface haha
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Good morning, Sleepyhead.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#'WWX was asleep for 4 days' is an incorrect factoid.#The average WWX sleeps for 8 hours. The PD-MDZS WWX who was asleep for 40 comics and 4 months is an outlier.#We are back to present day! I have missed drawing them!#Ah...the contrast between how the flashback ended (cold and distrustful) to how wwx wakes up (warm and watched over)...#The gap between the past and present is very important. Not just in this story but in our lives too.#The past can still hurt and it doesn't just go away with time as some say. It is the power of realizing that things have changed.#We can't get the good back. The bad memories have concluded. Those live somewhere else now.#It is hard to realize that you have to live for today and tomorrow. The past is so loud.#For WWX it is realizing that despite the mistrust in the past - He really does have faith that LWJ will be there for him.#It is the reflection of knowing that you changed and will keep changing and that change is good and kind sometimes.#But more importantly...and this I really do mean with all my heart:#It will all end up okay in the end. Even after the worst day. The most painful losses. You will get through it.#What feels like a breaking point is truthfully just another step you have to take. You'll get through it even though it feels like the end.#There are wonderful things you have yet to see. Friends you have yet to meet.#Even if it hurts so badly...one day it just aches. Someday you'll go a few weeks not remembering that it ever hurt.#Oh and because my izutsumi comic revealed many people were in need of hearing this:#You are loved. Right now. You are so loved right now. We just forget to tell each other that.#Go tell the people you love that they matter to you. I'm assigning you homework!!! You are graded on completion.
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forever thinking about how in Dipper and Mabel vs the Future, Stan denies the kids the Shack as a party venue. Because sure, he has a semi valid excuse in the zombie uprising thing. And yes, doylist, the plot needs a reason for Mabel to end up at the highschool.
but it seemed odd to me. Because 1) it's a party! A party is a great time to get people into the Shack and maybe buy things, and there's always the option of an entry (or exit) fee. It seemed odd that Stan would pass up the opportunity to make some cash. And 2) by this point in the show, we know Stan is a huge softy. Zombie apocalypse or no, he'd do anything for those kids. Why would he deny them their birthday party?
And then I realized. Stan is operating under Ford's ultimatum at the end of TOTS. Stan expects to be thrown out after summer. Its not Stan's house anymore and he knows that--he can't let the kids throw a party there because it's Ford's house and he doesn't want to damage his brother's property. It also adds another layer to his "I'm going through some stuff" comment earlier in the episode (and more pain to the "at least you'll have your brother. Not everyone is so lucky" comment to Mabel).
Ever since Ford returns, Stan has in the back of his mind the idea that he will be homeless again at the end of summer. And I think that also influences him during Weirdmageddon and is partly why he's so reluctant to help Ford. Sure the world is ending and Ford is captured and Bill is winning. But Stan still has his home. And given a home isn't something he's always reliably had, no wonder he's so distraught about it being torn to pieces to make the Shacktron. No wonder he doesn't want to save Ford if it means he'll be out on the street again.
#wren rambles#gravity falls#stanley pines#i just think. i sometimes overlook how much that probably LOOMED over him#i cringe a bit when he pulls out that ponytail magazine subscription or whatever it is#and starts joking along about what happens next week with the kids#but like. for him. next week is when he becomes homeless again. the magazine is a way of hiding it#idk man. it hurts just a bit. the entire second half of season two stan thinks hes going to become homeless again#after everhthing he sacrificed
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