#sometimes i wish i realized all this stuff earlier in life

[lutethebodies]

That "how old were you in 2007" post has cycled into my feed for like the third time (thank you @coolseabird) so I think I'm meant to answer it now, but I won't do that via reblog. A cursory glance at the tags makes me think I'd be one of the older people to do so (I turned 31 that year), and some days I really can't do the "omg I'm so old" bit. I mean, I acquired a marriage and a mortgage that year—two purported bastions of adulthood I was absolutely not ready for—but nobody else will care about that and anyway that's not why I got hooked enough to post.

See, time and the passage of time fascinates me. My great-grandmother was born a few years before (or maybe after, I'm not sure) the battle of Little Bighorn. Before her life ended, she toured a nuclear submarine. That's bonkers. My dad once said to me "it's so strange that the Berlin Wall was put up when I was in 7th grade and came down when you were in 7th grade." I was born the day Carter was elected president and of course he just died at age 100, but the first things I remember from childhood (the L.A. Olympics, the Challenger explosion, the '84 US election) are probably ancient history now to anyone online (and I won't pretend that such USA-centric stuff matters to most of the world).

But for me this also goes beyond that relatively superficial macro trivia. I care about this in more of a personal way, like how "sometimes it seems pretty wild how much I've grown and changed from the person I was in any given past year." So much that I thought was important or that I felt obligated to care about—personally, professionally, socially, even globally—has fallen away and dissolved into irrelevancy. Sometimes that means I'll never be as worked up as others seem to be over the latest Current Discourse about anything. Sometimes that means what I consider Important And Relevant is dismissed as archaic garbage. At a certain point someone either accepts that or their brain breaks.

In any case the whole thing is a good reminder that none of us need to feel truly stuck as who we are in any given moment, or need to feel defined by anyone else's standards of what they think we should do or be, and nobody has any idea what our or their future will bring anyway. That might seem like something laughably easy to say—very nebulous and Hallmarky—but I feel like it can also be mentally liberating to those of us prone to fret and worry and what-if our way through life. We can either passively let life happen to us or we can actively try to shape how life happens to us. I feel like I'm a bit better at actively shaping it in 2025 at 48 than I was in, say, 2007 at 31.

[penkura]

Jingle Bells

Summary: Its your son's first Christmas and Law wishes certain people were here.

Note: I'm sorry for the angst. :') Law just leads to it when I write him.

“Law, we should put him in his crib.”

“Mm…I will in a bit.”

It makes you smile to watch Law just sit with and hold your son Rosi while he sleeps, especially with the lights from your Christmas tree brightening the room. Your eight-month-old doesn’t seem bothered by the lights, comfortably snoozing in Law’s arms with the jingle bells he got from a party earlier that day still clutched in his little hands. You had taken him to a party with all your friends and their own kids, little gift bags were given to them with homemade sugar cookies (Sanji’s doing), a small bit of money (Nami’s doing), and, unfortunately, a set of jingle bells, which you just knew was because of Luffy. Once Rosi got a hold of his set, and heard the sound they made just from him moving his little arms, he didn’t stop the whole time during the party, and neither did the other toddlers that got their sets in their hands. It sounded like a badly put together children’s choir performance, most of you were about to threaten Luffy with providing his kids with worse musical instruments one day.

Rosi continued shaking his jingle bells even once you had him in the car to drive home, the sound only stopping when he’d finally fallen asleep about halfway home, making you and Law sigh in relief. He’d been asleep ever since, but still holding onto those bells, you were planning to hide them from him for a while just for your sanity’s sake.

You try to stay quiet, motioning for Law to do the same as you attempt to remove the bells from your little boy, gently opening his hands and only making the bells rattle as soon as you’ve freed them and set them on the coffee table. He starts to stir and fuss just a bit, but Law quickly hushes and calms Rosi down, it’s like he never even started waking at all. You love to watch Law with him, sometimes he’s the only one who can calm Rosi down and while it can frustrate you, it makes you happy to watch them bond.

“I think he had fun today.”

“Yeah,” Law scoffs while you sit beside him, rolling his eyes a little as well, “He sure had fun ringing those bells in my ears the whole time I held him.”

You laugh a bit as Law grumbles about the bells, shaking your head and stroking your baby boy’s hair while he continues to sleep. In the same way you love to watch Law with him, Law feels the same with the two of you. He was never really sure about having kids of his own, but when you came into his life, Law realized he wanted all of the family life stuff that he’d missed out on when he was younger, and he wanted all of it with you.

Holidays were always difficult for Law, after losing his family and then Cora-san, he never wanted to celebrate after all of that even when he met Penguin, Shachi, and Bepo, then the rest of his friend group. They’d all try but never could convince him to join in the festivities, he’d always reject the ideas they came up with and went along just to not be alone during the Christmas season.

Then Shachi brought you along one day when everyone was hanging out and you immediately attached yourself to Law, trying to drag him along for whatever holiday plans they had, because you hated the idea of anyone being alone during that time. Law still doesn’t know why, but he went along with you, kept doing so through the whole season even with the thought in his mind that after the holidays were over you’d disappear back into your shared job with Shachi, but the new year came and went, and you continued to hang around all of them, especially Law.  It led to you asking him out and his agreeing, which led even further to your marriage and now your son Rosi being in your lives, all in the matter of three years.

With this year being Rosi’s first Christmas, even though the eight-month-old doesn’t get it, Law hopes he’s enjoying himself, but he wishes his family and Cora-san were here for it. He knows his mother would be doing every to make this the best first Christmas for Rosi, his father would probably be telling stories about past Christmases, Lami would absolutely want to take her nephew to all the Christmas events around, and even Cora-san would be working to make this holiday the best for your son.

It's still hard for him, but you and Rosi are making things easier, better for Law.

“Law? Are you okay?”

You’re able to tell when Law starts to get lost in his head, in the thoughts of what’s missing, you try to bring him back to the here and now when it happens, so you don’t lose him to those worries and the pain that still lingers after so long. You’ve noticed that just having your son has helped with it too, it seems like Law gets lost to those thoughts much less often now.

But with the distant look he had before you said his name, you knew it was happening again, even when he shrugs and looks back to little Rosi starting to wake and rub his eyes with his little hands.

“…I just miss my family…”

“Oh, Law…”

“I wish they were here…”

“I know, my love.”

“All of them,” Law takes a shaky breath, forcing back whatever tears try to slip out, while you rest your hand on and stroke his cheek, listening to him, “My parents and Lami…and Cora-san…They would have loved you both…”

“I know they’re all so proud of you, Law,” you lean over and kiss his cheek, before taking Rosi from him as your son coos and giggles at you, “They’d be so happy to see that you’re happy, to know you and Rosi are well, and I’m sure they’d want you to be enjoying his first Christmas.”

Law knows you’re right, watching you start to talk to and smile at Rosi, making him smile in return. He’s told you everything about his family, you’ve been so understanding and loving ever since he first told you the story, sometimes he wonders how much you told your parents since they’re always so nice when you go to their house, but he also thinks it’s just because they actually like him. He doesn’t mind going to see them, more recently your mom wants to give all her attention to Rosi and your dad takes to trying to connect with Law more, he really enjoys it.

“Hey,” looking up at Law, you give him a smile when Rosi starts to reach for him, needs “Let’s go see your parents tomorrow, after we’ve opened gifts.”

“Yeah? You want to?”

Nodding, Law sets a hand on Rosi’s head before leaning over to kiss his forehead and do the same to you.

“Yeah. It’ll be good to spend the day with family.”

Nothing makes you happier at that moment than to hear that from Law, and you agree that it would be a good idea, so long as you can make Rosi leave the jingle bells at home. You’re not sure your parents would like to hear that sound all day.

[enigma-the-mysterious]

AITA for trying to accomplish my father's dreams and hurting my best friend in the process?

Alright, here we go. So, I (30M) have been working on a pretty intense task for the last few years. I made a promise to someone very dear to me—my father, to be exact—that I would do whatever it takes to accomplish it. To do this, I had to take some drastic steps. We’re talking undercover stuff, working within a system that’s more rotten than an overripe jackfruit, all to get closer to taking down the enemy from the inside.

To accomplish this mission, I needed a special promotion. I have been putting myself through hell and back, but those racist assholes at higher up kept passing over me to promote Mediocre White Dude #57. Then a few months ago, I finally, FINALLY made some solid progress when my boss's wife guaranteed me the promotion if I could track down and arrest some anonymous dude who was proving to be a security issue for my boss. Pretty straightforward, right?

Now here’s the issue. At about the same time a few months ago, I met this guy; let’s call him A (26M) for now. My work-life balance had honestly been, well, shitty to say the least, thanks to my father's mission, and I barely had the time to socialize and make any meaningful connections in the city I moved in. Meeting with A had been a chance encounter too. Long story short, we clicked instantly and became fast friends. He is a great guy all around— smart, funny, passionate, good natured, kind, helpful— just about everything you can possibly wish for in a friend (although he could be a little naive sometimes).

But here’s the kicker: a few days earlier, I found out that A has been lying to me about... basically EVERYTHING! ALL this time. He is not from the city; the people he claimed to be his family are not even related to him. Even his name isn't A, it's B! But what's worse is that he is exactly the guy I was supposed to arrest. And he was on a mission too. Except his mission was not targeting my boss, it was to rescue someone— his sister M (9F) to be exact— my boss and his wife had kidnapped and enslaved (long story). Yup, that’s right, we were on opposite sides without even realizing it.

Things escalated quickly. I... well… I had to make a choice. I chose to betray him to keep up my own cover and stick with my father's mission. And yeah, it was brutal— there was a literal fight to the death involved. I tried to convince him at first to surrender without fighting, but of course B didn't listen and refused to back down. I can’t even begin to explain how much it hurt to turn on someone I came to respect, even love…. uhh…. like a brother, of course.

And then, to rub salt to the wound, once I arrested him, my boss (FUCK HIM FUCK HIM FUCK HIM FUCK DIE BITCH) ordered me to flog B publicly till he fell to his knees and begged for mercy. Yeah, those were his exact words, that bastard! I felt like I had no choice, so I did what I was told. And it was one of the worst days of my life. I kept asking B to kneel so I could end the torture, but he is one stubborn and tough motherfucker and decided he would rather suffer through a public torture session than kneel. My dickface boss and his bitch wife weren't satisfied with how little blood I was drawing out of B, so they kept escalating the torture until B couldn't take it anymore and fell unconscious.

I ended up hurting him so badly, both physically and emotionally. It is fucking me up, honestly. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't even get out of my bed right now. I honestly feel like dying.

So, AITA for betraying and hurting my best friend to accomplish my father's mission? I did what I thought was necessary to save countless lives, but I can’t shake the feeling that maybe I went too far.

Edit: No, B did not know that I worked for the people who kidnapped his sister. He did not befriend me to take advantage of my position, as some of you have been implying. He did not, I repeat, he did NOT betray me. If anyone has betrayed and wronged him, it's me!

Edit 2: No, I didn't tell B my real intentions and my father's mission. Didn't you read the post? I am working UNDERCOVER!

[feyclowns]

a look at magic and the core system

the core system explanation and my loose idea of what magic is. this uh. this got long. this is a longass post.

my thoughts on magic

i have this idea that mother nature, while creating her earlier lifeforms, used magic as a sort of bind-all, something modeled after the overarching powers of time and creation, etc- giving them extra powers and extending their life (like a kid making their first ocs). most of her older creatures are on planes higher up and function on magic. as she got better with her craft she began to appreciate the complexity of making all those bits and pieces stuff on earth has, and the faster ebb and flow of life AND death. humans are one of her favorite creations.

magic is inherently chaotic. it exists in multiple forms, on multiple planes. it's something that touches things in a biological way and yet obeys physical laws set before it. it can be stored and used up. it can create more of itself. it can corrupt things. when mother nature realized it was a bad idea to give near-unlimited power to beings when she was creating ones of lower ability on the planes below, she changed magic and the creatures that used it- gave them weaknesses, sometimes bordering on the ridiculous, compulsions too. things to keep them in check.

i also like to think you can't entirely 1:1 seelie to humans on even a biological cell-scale. they just fundamentally are different.

magic's function

the more pure magic is, the more powerful it is- magic comes in all colors of the rainbow, but different colors have slightly different attributes. one can never truly filter one color out of magic entirely, as it needs all its components to function.

with the True Fey nearly extinct, the only beings that can use raw magic without the assistance of a device or sigil are genies, and i'd argue they got quite the short end of the stick considering their compulsion.

fairies, fey and their subspecies primarily function on purple magic. this stuff is filtered, diluted, as "neutral" as one can get. if you create magic rather than consume it, and your species functions on filtered magic, you cannot handle it raw. like, your body can't handle the extra energy. physically.

magical backup is when a fairy has so much magic in their system they cannot filter the chaotic energy that magic produces and explode.

filtered magic is also, simply, on paper, easiest to use. as a third party, non-seelie magic user- use raw magic while unprepared and get evaporated while changing the laws of physics. use overfiltered magic without the correct sigils and nothing happens except maybe a bitter taste in your mouth.

onto the core system.

the core system

the neural core is where magic flows freely up towards- the filter strains clean, purple magic from the magic produced by the central core. conscious wishes are also made from the brain connected to the core here.

the central core is where magic is generated. the central core takes calories and nutrients from ingested food (fairies have a stomach that is right next to their core) and converts it into magic. the core membrane acts as a storage for filtered magic in both areas.

the core pools are located at the base of the wrists of a fairy, which are where excess magic flows and stays in anticipation of use. when a fairy exhausts the magic from their pools, they must wait until they begin to refill from the reserves in the core membranes.

the inner cores are the most important part of the system; if this part of a fairy is damaged they will die. this part also holds the data for the rest of the body- if worse comes to worse, the inner cores will maintain the body parts left and rebuild the core system before completing the rest of the body. this is in part why fairies are so gd resilient. no inner core, no regeneration.

magic threads are what magic travels along throughout the body. they are thick, wide tubes that extend through the torso and extremities. the central thread is also called a nervous thread. during pregnancy, the body creates a sixth thread (and sometimes seventh) to deliver magic to the developing child's core.

fairies produce raw magic in their central cores. they have two cores- a central and neural core, which are connected to each other through the nervous thread and extend to their magic pools and flow magic through the body by the four magic threads.

anti-fairies are where all that excess magic goes when fairies filter it out. anti fairies don't need to generate magic or filter it- they can handle it just fine. they have a simpler core layout- a thick core membrane to hold their magic and the excess chaotic magic swirling about in their inner core. this enables anti-fairies to grant powerful rule-free wishes. anti-fairies tend to have strange colored magic threads, generally aligning with the color of their counterparts' eyes.

pixies are quirky things. pixies have the same amount of cores as their fairy cousins but do not produce raw magic. they instead need to feed on magical creatures (or take their magic supplements, as provided by pixies INC) to keep their core systems afloat. another issue is that most pixies' core filters still work- which would be fine if they produced magic. pixies overfilter their magic, leading them to use a highly complicated wand (along with several binding contracts) to utilize the magic still delivered to their core pools. (it's also a phone. why not toss that in for free? Head Pixie was feeling really nice when he made that decision.)

pixies have a very large core filter and membrane in their neural core, with a small central core and large magic pools. their magic threads are thin.

[blueishspace]

Hero, Villain God 33

(Prev) (Next) (First)

Chapter 8

*Scar's pov*

Grian is... different from what you expected, you mean that in a good way! You don't want to sound mean but when you first met him he just seemed ...off, and he was nice despite you spilling the coffee on him but that felt ...fake for some reason. You don't really know how to describe it and you feel bad for feeling it but it was there.

Then you met him and realized he was much less cold then you thought, he made fun of you which you didn't really expect from him... But it was a fun surprise! It was banter and while you are used to being made fun actually friendly back and forth isn't something you are used to.

And he-... Well, people say that you are oblivious, and you are most of the time...you do a lot of dumb stuff a lot of the time and sometimes you mix up words... But you do see what goes around you, you see how people look at you when you need to use your cane to walk and you are tired of how they treat you like a kid! You are a grown man thank you very much and you do know and see judgement, you gave lived with it at least a third of your life.

You are getting off track, you saw how Grian stared them down until they looked away... ... It makes you feel a bit bubbly to be honest, It feels like the opposite of lonely! Like there's someone on your side! It's ... comforting in a way, is that weird? Not that you needed helping at that exact moment but it feels better to have someone choose your side.

Oh! oh! He is also so much kinder then you ever thought to expect! He invited you to hang out with him and his friends and he even bought you that funko pop he knew nothing about just because he saw you liked it!

You are used to being liked as a hero, as Hotguy being loved by everyone is kind of the norm, something you expect to happen. As Scar...well, there's Cub and he's amazing! Truly! You have known him for years and he's like a brother! Or a bff! But he's the only one. You don't really ...like being "normal civilian Scar" and you don't expect anyone else to like him either.

So It's kinda new just met to be like this, to care about you enough to spend money on a figurine you like despite not understanding why you like it in the first place...it makes you feel better about yourself, you wonder if It's weird...you are wondering that a lot thinking about it. Are you weird? ... Yeah, always have been.

And how could you forget! His friends too! You didn't really know what to expect from so many new people when you first accepted his offer but they were all so nice! You almost wish you had met them earlier, you think you would be an happier person if you had... More excitingly, soon he's going to be fighting alongside you as your sidekick, It's a bit lonely sometimes during patrol so you can't wait for it-Uh? A noise from your phone distracts you, you still aren't used to people outside of Cub and maybe hero association people texting you.

-Winners- Pearl: @/Everyone. Pearl: @/Everyone. Pearl: @/Everyone. Martyn: ... What? Pearl: I had an idea. Pearl: If you guys are up for it. Cleo: Correction. Cleo: *We* had an idea. Scott: ^ Pearl: Yeah. What do you guys think of a movie marathon?

A movie marathon! This is the perfect chance to get Grian to understand why his was such a great gift! You are sure he will love it! And you could have more stuff to bond over, maybe even with the others.

-Winners- Scar: Oh! Scar: Can we? Scott: Can we... what? Scar: Star Wars? Scar: It's my favorite. Pearl: ... Pearl: Sure, everyone can bring a movie they like. Pearl: We'll vote. Scar: Yay! Grian: A movie...marathon? Pearl: Are you in? Grian: Uh. Grian: Sure.

Oh now you have two things to look foward to! You can feel yourself stand up in excitement as you jump up from your seat and immediately need to hold onto the chair for support... yeah, bad idea...at least there is no one here to see it this time.

[agathariosource]

So for those who have watched "Once Upon a Time" and read maggiemerc's "Monomythical Adventures": remember the 4 Thieves? Keep them in mind.

For those who haven't: I'm talking about a group of 4 completely different characters (two are villains: The Evil Queen and Hook, one is Aurora, the last one is Mulan) with completely different goals that are stuck in a dangerous situation and thus forced to cooperate. Reluctantly, they become unlikely friends.

Now, say that ghost Agatha has already mentored Billy and helped him find his brother. (Maybe she got resurrected in the end, maybe not.) Meanwhile, Wanda has come back to life. (Rio has no luck with the Maximoffs.)

Now ignore Marvel's Young Avengers plot and imagine the concept I mentioned with Jennifer, Agatha, Billy and Wanda (a year or two post-AAA). (Tommy could join too, I suppose.)

Explosive combo, because:

Wanda and Agatha (all their past beef aside, now they have to share custody of Billy too),

Jennifer and Agatha (pretty self explanatory),

Billy still hasn't gotten over his mommy (Wanda) issues.

If Agatha is still a ghost and not fully corporeal, she can be there to give commands to everyone's frustration, be sassy (read: annoying) and protective of Billy. If not, she can contribute more and use her ethereality to the team's advantage.

Their situation is dire; there's a threat that is bigger than Wanda and Agatha combined so they're all stuck with each other.

Their Odyssey could be cut short if only someone would ask for her ex-girlfriend's help (who happens to be one of the four most powerful beings in the universe and had already broken the rules for her), but no. Now they're over. Or so Agatha thinks.

Jen might know that Agatha dated Death, but only Billy has more pieces of the puzzle.

During their earlier quest (finding Tommy), Billy tried to make her open up about it when he shared stuff about his boyfriend. Agatha would sometimes talk about Nicky (what he and Billy have in common, at least), but never about Rio. She'd bite Billy's proverbial head off, deflect with humor or change the subject.

Except Billy is a mind reader. 99% of the time, Agatha protects her mind, but when the (emotional) stakes are high, she can't quite control herself as well as she'd like.

During a vulnerable moment (after Billy has another brush with death), Agatha lets her guard down and that's how Billy reads her mind, learning more about Agatha and Rio's happier/better years. He doesn't mean to invade her privacy; it just happens.

After that, he becomes less holier than thou about it and more empathetic. He sees what Agatha saw in Lady Death and understands that maybe it wouldn't be so bad if they reconnected. Not that Agatha wants to hear about it.

Which is too bad, because the four of them have to kill some enemies along the way. They leave bodies behind them.

(The journey teaches Billy a lesson: he starts to see shades of grey in terms of morality and becomes grayer himself.)

Rio comes to pick them up, of course, but she makes sure that Agatha's wishes are respected; that Agatha never sees her (face).

The same thing can't be said about Billy. He even talks to her once or twice. (Rio has fully retired her human form, she's back to being a skeleton.) He doesn't say anything to Agatha though (not out of malice).

When Wanda encounters Rio though, things change.

Because when she died, Rio wasn't as kind as she was with other souls. Why? Because Rio wanted to find Agatha and only Wanda knew where she was. (And maybe Rio was somewhat jealous too.)

What Wanda doesn't realize yet is how similar her past pain/suffering/grief is to Agatha's; how her own love story with Vision rivals Agatha and Rio's.

--

Oh, and Jen flirts with women who admire her badassery. Perhaps she briefly dates one too.

Agatha makes mean comments about that. Too bad that ghosts can't easily date, because living ladies are afraid of them.

[black-arcana]

LACUNA COIL Shares Music Video For New Single 'I Wish You Were Dead'

Italian metal veterans LACUNA COIL have shared the official music video for their newest single, "I Wish You Were Dead". The track marks the sixth single from their upcoming record "Sleepless Empire", which is set to be released February 14, 2025 via Century Media Records.

"I Wish You Were Dead" is about the emotional turmoil and struggle that accompanies toxic relationships. The song's video takes the track's heavy theme and spins it into a romantic goth tale just in time for Valentine's Day. Filmed by Martina L McLean in a church in Capranica, a small town north of Rome, it marks a first in the history of LACUNA COIL: the band performing a choreography.

On the new single, the band shares: "We all have this person we wish never existed, right? We all felt the need to erase the same person from our thoughts, someone who hurt us that it's still in our mind. We wanted to write heavier lyrics on a happier musical canvas. Also we are a little tired of being politically correct at all costs…"

In a recent interview with Luke Morton of Kerrang! In Conversation, LACUNA COIL vocalist Cristina Scabbia spoke about the "Sleepless Empire" title. She said: "We chose that title because it was representing the times that we are living today. We're always awake, constantly trying to be productive, super connected with the rest of the world, but at the same time, we've never been so disconnected and anxious and feeling that we need to prove something, that we need to be present all the time, because if not, we are forgotten by the rest of the world.

"I am putting myself in the sleepless empire as well, so it's not a criticism," she explained. "It's just a realization, because I am part of that generation that saw it all and saw it coming and saw how fast the technology developed and how big the changes were, so I am trying to take the best out of the past to bring it in the future and the present, because I think that we should take advantage of technology. I mean, the fact that we are talking right now through a screen, it's one of the most beautiful things of technology, because if not, you would have to come to my place or me at yours, or we would have to travel somewhere to meet in person, which would be amazing. But this way, you save time, you can save four hours so you can go spend time with your family and I can go to watch [Italian professionally football club] AC Milan tonight with Andrea [Ferro, LACUNA COIL co-vocalist] at the stadium instead of traveling. So technology is good if used wisely. And I love progress — I love technology and I love to evolve with times — but I think it's cool to remember what the important things really are, because at the end of the day, all the time that we waste in stuff that doesn't really enrich us as persons, it's going to be wasted. So sometimes I try to think about this, even if realistically the first thing that I do when I wake up in the morning is to grab the phone and see the messages and watch the messages and maybe scroll through stories of other people."

Cristina added: "We just need to pay attention. I think that especially with the new generations that never saw it coming and never saw how it was before, they tend to compare to each other. They see beautiful lives in other people's social medias, and they think that that's reality. So sometimes they feel less than they are and they feel depressed and frustrated because they don't feel enough. So at least, just like the fact that I was born earlier kind of gave me a sort of a shelter that it's a sort of a filter that it's, like, okay, I don't need to compare myself to another person because, of course, this is my life. That's their life. And maybe not everything they're showing [is] true. Most probably not everything they're showing [is] 100 percent true. Maybe it is, but who cares? I should look at my life. I should look at what I'm building. I should look at what I'm living. I should look at the people, the real people around me and real life around me. It should be a balance. As everything, you just have to keep the right balance."

Asked if she is guilty of waking up in the morning and picking up her phone immediately and then wasting hours and hours every day just scrolling through social media, Cristina said: "Oh, totally. Totally. I'm guilty, especially in the morning. Not just wasting time, just looking at socials because I also do it as a sort of a study 'cause I wanna see what happens. I'm curious — I'm genuinely curious — so maybe that's not a complete waste of time, 'cause it's still entertaining. What I'm guilty of is that I feel guilty when I want to take time for myself. Now, when [I] get a message, I have the tendency of wanting to reply immediately or I feel guilty. And maybe I should wait. Maybe I shouldn't have so much anxiety if I answer 10 minutes after and I don't reply as soon as I open my eyes. Maybe I should just open my eyes, go in the kitchen, prepare myself a breakfast and then start my day and dedicate it to the work and my mails and everything. Instead, I just grab my phone. I'm just, like, 'Okay, I got a mail. Okay, I've gotta answer. My eyes are still closed, but I'm gonna answer.'

"There is this weird cycle for all of us that we're working hard because we have so many inputs," she continued. "Then we try to detach ourselves and relax watching other stuff on other social medias, thinking that they're entertaining. And they create even more anxiety. So it's a cycle that could be dangerous… But it's not all bad. So the sleepless empire, it's basically an empire with people that never sleep, that [are] always doing stuff, which could be good and could be bad as well."

Inspiration to create "Sleepless Empire" came during the sessions for "Comalies XX" (2022),the acclaimed remake of LACUNA COIL's breakthrough third record "Comalies". Writing and recording took place in northern Italy between Milano (the band's hometown) and Como, where SPVN Studios are located. As with their previous albums, production was done in house with Marco "Maki" Coti Zelati at the helm, and artwork was hand curated by the talented Italian artist Roberto Toderico. Two other very special talents enrich the album, namely the guest vocalists: LAMB OF GOD's Randy Blythe on the song "Hosting The Shadow" and NEW YEARS DAY's Ash Costello on "In The Mean Time".

As a token of the band's love for the gaming world (which we've seen in past endeavors such as their card game "Horns Up" and their collaboration with Zombicide for which they wrote the track "Never Dawn"),the band have created an oracle "game" to be played with custom made dice available only in the box set version of "Sleepless Empire".

The new album is comprised of 11 tracks; each one is a richly textured soundtrack to a specific time and place. With "Sleepless Empire", that place is dark, cinematic, and unmistakably true to the unique characteristics that have given LACUNA COIL such a celebrated entry in the annals of heavy music.

The band previously shared: "'Sleepless Empire' captures, through our eyes, the chaos of a generation trapped in a digital world that never stops, where social media consumes identity and every day pushes us one step closer to becoming soulless zombies. We find ourselves in between, having witnessed a full analogic world and the modern one, confronting the evolution and searching for a true meaning of it all. Throughout every song, the journey is an undercurrent of rebellion, a desperate cry to reclaim oneself in an era that seems to have lost its sense of time and reality."

"Sleepless Empire" track listing

01. The Siege 02. Oxygen 03. Scarecrow 04. Gravity 05. I Wish You Were Dead 06. Hosting The Shadow (feat. Randy Blythe) 07. In Nomine Patris 08. Sleepless Empire 09. Sleep Paralysis 10. In The Mean Time (feat. Ash Costello) 11. Never Dawn

Last October, Italian guitarist/producer Daniele Salomone confirmed that he has joined LACUNA COIL as the replacement for the band's longtime guitarist Diego Cavallotti.

Salomone made his live debut with LACUNA COIL on August 4, 2024 at the Rockstadt Extreme Fest in Râșnov, Romania.

In June 2024, LACUNA COIL announced Cavallotti's departure. Diego, who joined LACUNA COIL in 2016, initially as a fill-in guitarist following the exit of Marco "Maus" Biazzi, later said in a social media post that "this decision is not the result of my dissatisfaction or desire to explore new opportunities."

Cavallotti and Salomone played together in the Italian metal band INVERNO, which released its debut album, "Stasis", in December 2023.

Photo credit: Marta Petrucci

[ladylooch]

could we see a glimpse into Lucie and Connor’s friendship before they got together? Possibly them having late night convos like you said? And maybe some ***tension***

Lucie sits cross-legged on the leather couch in the living room, typing away on her final mid-term paper for Fall semester. She hears a key in the lock, then the door swings open to reveal Connor Wood. 

“Fuck!” He exclaims, jumping back. Then he sighs when he realizes it is Lucie. She smiles. “I didn’t know you were here.”

“Sorry.” Lucie murmurs, watching him shut the door. “I told Lio I was here.”

“Oh. He didn’t pass that message along.” Connor says as he throws a weeks worth of mail onto the kitchen counter.

“I can go into his room.” Lucie says, starting to gather her stuff.

“No, no, no.” Connor waves his hand at her. “It’s okay. You don’t have to hide cause I’m home.” 

“I don’t want to disrupt your space. I just needed somewhere quiet and private to finish my paper.”

“You’re good, LuLu.” He assures her, tossing his hat onto an end table. “I’m just going to make a sandwich and then I’ll get out of your way.”

“Okay.” She says. She goes back to her paper, typing a few more sentences before Connor clears his throat to get her attention. “Hm?”

“Do you want one?” Lucie hasn’t eaten all day. Her stomach gurgles as if on cue. He chuckles. “I’ll make you one.” 

“Thank you.” Lucie murmurs when he brings it over to her. “You can stay out here with me… if you want. It sucks eating in bed.” Connor stares back at her, keeping his hand on the plate even as her fingers wrap around to take it.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” She whispers. Connor nods, then goes into the kitchen, grabbing his plate before joining Lucie on the other side of the couch. He keeps the TV off, but pulls his phone out, beginning to go through it.

“Oh… haha. Hey, Lio says you’re coming over to study today.” He shows her the text message.  Lucie leans forward to read it, playing with her bottom lip. Her eyes drift above that message seeing a text from Lio: Can you two keep it down in there? Lucie straightens, smile falling off her face as she goes back to her computer screen. 

Connor takes notice, looking over his messages. His cheeks turn pink when he sees that message. He puts his phone down on the table, then takes a bite of his sandwich. Lucie keeps hers off to the side, trying to go back to her paper. But Connor’s masculine presence and fresh body wash are overtaking her ability to focus. Connor demolishes his sandwich in what seems like two bites. He glances over at her, pushing his plate away from him on the coffee table. 

“So what’s your paper on?”

“On a book we read in class earlier.” She answers, rubbing at her nose. Connor nods.

“How are you liking NYU?”

“Um…” Lucie murmurs as she finishes her next thought. Then she looks up at him. His crystal blue eyes are intently studying her. She feels every stroke of them over her face, awaiting her answer. “Um..” Lucie says again, then blinks to re-focus. “I like it.”

“And the U.S? Being back here is okay?”

“Yeah. I feel comfortable here. It helps to have Lio close… and you.” She offers up. Connor smiles. He has been around most of the time she has seen Lio since she got here. He is kind of becoming a cousin approved third wheel.

“So what is the party scene like?” He leans back on the couch, turning more towards her. His right leg is curled under him, but his left leg stretches out towards Lucie. His body is open. Lucie could slide across the couch and curl into his strong chest. It looks like she would fit perfectly right there, pasted to his t-shirt. Sometimes she wishes she had someone to hold her when life gets overwhelming. She used to just go hug her dad, but she doesn’t have that as an option anymore. 

“Probably like it was where you went.”

“Eh.” Connor disagrees. “More athletes at BC than NYU.” She rolls her eyes.

“Is that all you care about? Sports and beer?”

“No.” It’s so matter of fact and confident. Lucie bites back a smile, lips pursed as she nods at him.

“Okay.” 

“What about you? All you care about is school and whatever Lio is up to?”

“No.” Connor nods in response.

“Maybe one day we can tell each other what we like?” Lucie’s stomach drops out of her body. Everything about that was suggestive. She is not imagining that at all. Connor seems to confirms it with the intense stare and slight smirk on his face. “Hobbies… of course.” He fills in after a moment of her silence. “Like what your favorite sandwich is so you’ll actually eat it.” 

“I like this.” She chuckles. 

“You haven’t even had a bite.” She rolls her eyes again then takes a big exaggerated bite.

“Oh my god.” She jokingly moans. “Best sandwich I have had in my life.” Connor laughs, then reaches forward, swiping Mayo off where it clings to the corner of her lips. Lucie swallows her food, heart pounding in her chest at how close he remains to her. Her lips part. Connor’s eyes dash down to them, then he leans back, looking almost startled. 

“I should let you finish your paper.” Lucie licks her lips and nods in agreement. 

He disappears from the room then Lucie hears the click of his door shutting down the hall. She tosses her laptop to the side, running her fingers through her brown hair. She gives the strands a tug, then looks out the living room window at the city.

Connor can walk away from this room, but whatever just shifted between them isn’t going back into place. 

[marigoldbaker]

last thought before going to bed for reals okay. i feel like ethan does the giles thing re: jenny where he just trips and falls into having big feelings for and about her, which in turn means that all of a sudden he goes Full Disney Prince Regency Hero Charm (which he was also very capable of doing when he was 20 and which is why giles fell in love with him in the first place) and starts kinda going out of his way to treat her in a way that is obviously very theatrical and ridiculous but also much less barbed than before and genuinely trying to get her to laugh and enjoy herself and stuff. jenny however was up until this point looking at ethan as her boyfriend's boyfriend who she hooks up with sometimes and so to realize that 1) he's considering her as a romantic option and 2) she is YET AGAIN being inadvertently wooed by an emotionally impossible british man who was supposed to be a casual situationship but is now treating her like a princess all of a sudden is so fundamentally infuriating to her that she starts going absolutely fucking insane AGAIN. like this CANNOT be happening a SECOND TIME. she CAME TO TERMS WITH IT. she is NOT doing this again. ONE IS ENOUGH.

key difference between ethan and giles tho is that ethan is a terrible bastard man, so as soon as he realizes he's got an edge on jenny, he starts actually turning things up to 70 and being EVEN MORE ostentatious and romantic and ridiculous JUST to try and torment her a little bit more with her own feelings. jenny figures out what he's doing and starts wooing him BACK but she is having a hell of a time regaining the ground she has lost. after a certain point it's actually really unclear what both of them are trying to accomplish and to the casual observer they kind of just look like a normal couple who are really weird and intense about each other But Obviously That's Not What's Happening. This Is Psychological Warfare. This is Revenge.

giles meanwhile is having the best time of his life watching both of them suffer through the Mortifying Ordeal of Having Human Feelings and personally sort of wishes he'd introduced them way earlier somehow even if that wasn't actually possible.

[horizon-verizon]

If Rhaena gets Sheepstealer then, as far as the book go, that confirms it for me that Nettles really was Daemon’s biological daughter. But in HOTD, instead of bonding with his bastard daughter, Daemon will bond with Rhaena, his trueborn daughter. Laena asking Daemon about their daughters made me realize. Daemon is going to take Rhaena with him, train her in dragonriding arts, and they’ll become closer. She’ll want to step up for her father before they face Aemond and Vhagar, but he sends her away to protect her. Doesn’t make me like the idea more or accept Nettles being cut (because wow, way to just remove one of the only canon black characters IN the original story, and combining two Black women’s stories without understanding how each of them are completely different but both entirely necessary to the story) but as far as just wanting to make a show and not faithfully adapt the book ? Eh. It gets the job done.

rhaenin-time writes in this post's comments about the writers likely making Rhaenyra's later "madeness" into a more shocking spectacle by making her turn against Rhaena & having Rhaenyra turning against Rhaena nonsensical even for the show.

a) IF you are the first adapting a story, the aim should be to tell the original story as it is as best you can without undermining the themes, the plot-time-event sequence, and characterizations...since those make the story. ARE the story. Later adaptations can come in with their alternative storylines, etc. if they wish, but the point of wanting to see the story that you encounter made live....is to see that story made live.

Sometimes you need to make some changes because time constraints, production costs, or you find that you can cut some stuff/add others and the point of an original event from the original has both similar enough WEIGHT and the similar enough MEANING that the audience mostly understands the point of. However, HotD doesn't do these. So I do not see why "as far as just wanting to make a show and not faithfully adapt the book" was supposed to endear or pacify me to such changes? All it looks here is that they think Rhaena and Nettles are interchangeable & the story remains the same....which it does not and it is very obvious why when you read the book.

b) It never made sense for Daemon to treat his daughter, Rhaena, the way he did. That was forced drama. So for him to now have to finally bond with his own daughter from his Black wife only after she has a dragon presents a Daemon who has his come-to-Jesus moment way too late into his arc...he's supposed to come to himself and what he wants in his marriage to Laena.

And no I don't really care abt them having to follow their own bad choices bc of all the costs. Those choices were their own when they had options, therefore we still have the room and right to continue criticizing their later decisions that come from earlier ones. They also decided to be the ones directing this adaptation.

.............................................................................

below is just a reiteration of why I would never approve of a Rhaena-Nettles merge in any adaptation:

c) Rhaena has trouble hatching her egg; after Rhaenyra & Aegon die and Aegon III ascends, Rhaena's egg finally hatches thus representing some sort of hope and new beginnings but she cannot use said dragon to protect her brother as a war machine and thus still relies on her diplomacy and plotting w/Baela and Alyn Velaryon to do so. It also ensures that their house, for longer, out of the direction of other greedy houses like the Hightowers and the Peakes. However, she at least had the privilege to have access to a eggs to one day bond with.

Nettles is a lowborn teen girl with Valyrian ancestry who's enlisted to fight in the actual war, has likely been discriminated against her entire life whether due to skin or class intersected with her gender, & that matters bc she bonds with a dragon the sort of "twist" or surprise in a young girl having a dragon is precisely that they didn't expect a girl who looks like her to be able to...bc yes you do need Valyrian blood for a dragon to want to bond with you. Dragons "choose" their riders, you can't "tame" them. Nettles also coaxed Sheepstealer to bond with her, unlike nearly every other then wannabe-rider during the "Sowing", does it by continuously and patiently offering Sheepstealer sheep and thus establishing herself to the dragon as one interested in caring for them. A promise is made before the bond. [You can read more on Nettles' connection to Dany, dragonriidng, and her fire-goddess cult HERE on danylanzhou/brideoffires' Twitter thread]

Unlike Rhaena, who was put in the Vale for her protection and to disperse their scions to ensure the family/dynasty's survival, Nettles was in the very midst of fighting, was fighting and in the action of the war. But bc of classism and classism triggered by Ulf & Hugh's Betrayals at Tumbleton, she's also subjected to suspicion from Rhaenyra's council and nearly killed, thus propelling her to have to leave and later inspiring a huge fire goddess cult where people in the particular ethnic group must prove their bravery. Nettles and "Sheep"stealer, as I recently learned, also mimic how the first contact b/t Valyrians and dragons might have went--the first Valyrians were sheep herders in Essos.

Rhaena does not have this parallel, which emphasizes Nettles' ancestry, even as both--for all these reasons concerning dragons and bonding--contextualize and stem from Daenerys Stormborn's own dragon/magical arc.

Aside from all of this, Rhaena was raised alongside Rhaenyra's kids and became one of her own children whereas Nettles, though loyal, was never a "daughter" to Rhaenyra and possibly was one (I think she was, biologically) of Daemon's. It makes much more sense for Rhaenyra to want to execute a person who is "stranger" to her than her own stepdaughter she raised from young. Note, if Nettles WAS Daemon's daughter, she wouldn't have known that and bc he dies and Nettles flies off she would never know as much as she never knew that her youngest son, Viserys, was actually alive. So either Rhaenyra sought to kill her husband's daughter who she may have, once, been more amenable to have around (Nettles was 17, while they had been married for much shorter, so he hadn't cheated on her) if she had known but also bc this ties Nettles much closer to the Targs similarly to how Brynden Rivers was politically. I say Brynden Rivers bc he, like Nettles, was actually very loyal.

So the Rhaena-Nettles merging has little logical basis other than them not reading and understanding their stories thematic wise and/or misogynoir. It also has little moral basis.

How else can you explain to me that we have Hugh Hammer as our smallfolk look-in AND sympathized when he and Ulf are responsible for Tumbleton's Sack bc they wanted to be "kings" or high lords & raping at least one woman during war? And not Nettles, the teen girl from the lowest drudges of society, who had to fend for herself for seemingly a very long time and thus observe others to survive (Hugh was at least a blacksmith with a more reliable profession), who raises herself up from her deprived beginnings through a dragon and her own wits/charm?

[generic-sonic-fan]

Hi! Just in case you're still doing the ship chart asks, i'll ask for Shadow x the Commander. I'm gonna have to explain a lot on how I got here (i don't think anyone else has made a case for it on this website before) so please bear with me for a bit lol

My first point of interest... I genuinely think the Commander is meant to mirror Shadow's own journey in a way (both in SA2 and Shth i mean). The details vary but it stands that either through manipulation or general lack of information, they're both driven to seek revenge against eachother for their childhood best friend/sister figure, Maria : to Shadow, GUN, humanity and therefore the world, is responsible. To the Commander, Shadow (along with his two dads) is responsible. But in the end, they're able to see the situation with more clarity. Shadow realizes that Maria loved the planet despite all the flaws of its inhabitants, respecting her wish for her sake... And although those feelings aren't explored that much in depth, i think the Commander realizes something similar too, that Shadow cared about Maria a lot and in a way is finally able to see the kindness she saw in Shadow too...

I also believe that in a subtle way, the commander's arc is an echo to Shadow's search for the truth. Even though he starts out convinced Shadow is the evil one, that viewpoint is challenged when he actually faces him... (in the only scene they have together, the Commander leaves their interaction uncertain and confused, when a minute earlier he was determined to get rid of Shadow for good... just one short interaction with Shadow was enough to shake his resolve and question his convictions. The commander was one piece of the puzzle Shadow needed to solve, but the truth was just as lost on the commander as it was on him)

All this to stay. Shadow's journey of finding the truth in its whole and putting the past behind you is also the commander's, methinks. They're two people coming from opposite sides of the story, they deeply mirror yet contrast eachother... i thought that was really brilliant. So i'm really invested in what their interactions would be like after this game.

Canon hasn't really brought back the commander in the past 20 years (i heard shadow gens would change that though! hurray for me), so this next point would be about what their dynamic (relationship?) might look like post-shth.

We know the commander is pretty remorseful, and goes so far as to invite Shadow to his house... not sure if Shadow would have accepted though, lol. But either way i do believe the commander wanted to bury the hatchet for good and is determined to keep it that way, even if Shadow is still a menace sometimes.

As for Shadow... there is that one scene in Chronicles.

(It's hilarious to me. its canonicity is dubious but i couldn't not mention it)

Shadow doesn't like humans still so I think he has little respect for the commander lol. I feel like while the commander really tries to get along with shadow, the guy remains pretty ambivalent to him at best ha.

However, with their shared past and all, there's potential for them to grow closer on that basis... maybe a sort of confidant relationship. The past isn't something either of them are defined by, but it still can't help but hurt at times... I imagine it would be especially hard for Shadow, who could still be recovering memories of that time and whose trauma seems so much fresher in his mind. In those moments, the commander might be the person in the world who understands his pain the most, and as someone who's lived with it for decades and managed to build a new life around it, his support would be really valuable, even if Shadow doesn't accept it at first. I think that vulnerability and the emotional intimacy that comes with it would be the key for a more intimate relationship to develop between the two... they'd become really important part of each other's lives this way, irreplaceable

Sorry about the huge wall of text haha. even without the shippy stuff, I find their dynamic really interesting and i like thinking of their possible future together... it wouldn't be all sunshine and rainbows, probably really messy in the beginning. I believe they could have a sweet ending together though. it's the rarepair that's closest and dearest to my heart and i'd go as far to say i think it would be more popular if they were the same species! That's not the case though, so i'll keep spreading my propaganda >:)

Anyways, I'm excited to know what you think! Even if you don't see it, I hope you got something out of my ramblings

You're honestly kind of insane for this but you know what? I respect it.

Made it into a messy QPR since while their chronological ages match, their mental ages don't quite mesh for me. You go off though, sonadowkismesis. This is a genuine rarepair and I enjoyed thinking outside the box for this.

[arisewanekosuki]

In another’s shoes

(Genshin School AU x Fem! Reader) A month has passed since you started your life in Teyvat High School, while struggling with your own insecurities and unpleasant memories with past 'friends', your schools days were passing day by day, until one day after going back home you had an accident. Thinking this is the end, you wake up... but wait, why are you in the body of the most popular girl in your school - Lumine? previous | next

Drawing by @fusaex3​​​  Author’s note: I started writing it before I wrote Bakeneko!Kunikuzushi, so this story may be worse than the previous one, I’ll be honest, I’m not sure about this one. I may end up deleting it after some time. Tbh I wanted to add some Genshin boys x reader here, but it may end up being more about friendship if I continue this story, I’m not sure, at first I thought to make that at the end some boys will have special chapters when you end up being with them or something like that. But like I said I’m not even sure if I’ll continue this cause I don’t know if anyone will like this story. I’m sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language.

Prologue

The annoying alarm in my phone woke me from a dream. “What was that dream about again?” It wasn’t a good one that I’m sure. Then why it feels like I should try to remember what it was about? Looking at time in my phone I realized that if I won’t get up soon I’ll be late for school. While dressing up I couldn't help but look at myself in the mirror. -“…” Before any negative thoughts would consume me I shook my head and went to the kitchen to get my breakfast. -“Good morning!” my mom said. I didn’t respond, I went to my mom to hug her, this is my way of saying ‘Good Morning’ when I'm not awake properly or just not feel like talking yet. Mom smiled and hugged me back. I started to make breakfast for myself, after awhile I finally ask: - “Do you have day off?” -“No, but today I start later, so don’t worry I’ll take (little sister name) to school. Also I made lunch for you too!”  -“Thank you.” -“So…How is school? It’s been month since it started, did you make some friends?” I sighed, not feeling like talking about it, yet I don’t want to worry my mom. -“It’s fine I guess… there is one girl in my class, Yoimiya, she’s really nice, sometimes we spend school breaks together.” -“That’s great! You should invite her here sometimes!” mom smiled, happy that I finally made a friend. I got up and got ready to go. I took my backpack and say goodbyes to my mom. “I don't really want to go to school…”  If I think about it Yoimiya was the first one to approach me, no, she’s the first one to approach everyone, she’s a very nice and friendly person. I’m grateful that she wanted to be friends with me, I only wish I would stop worrying about stuff so I could get along with her better. I want to talk more with her, hang out more with her but I still feel slightly shy and the thought of her other friends being more interesting and fun than me is not helping in that matter at all. “Ah, that’s bad! Don’t think like that (y/n)!” Well, it’s hard to not think like that when her friends like Ayaka and Kokomi are really great. Sometimes I was invited to eat lunch with them and Yoimiya. They are kind, smart and of course they are pretty… so pretty that it felt like someone like me shouldn’t sit with them. It's like a potato lying next to beautiful flowers. I would say I’m average person if I’m being ‘nice’ to myself, but I know, compared to them I’m not that interesting at all. -“Good morning!!” someone said, snapping me from my previous thoughts. Turning back I saw a little boy with cute smile. -“Hello Ruu.” I smiled to him “How are you?” Ruu’s smile got wider “At least he’s in good mood”.   -“I’m fine! Today I got up earlier so I could go and see miss Kapatcir and ask if she needs something from shop!” Ruu is truly a sweet child, he’s a kind soul, so kind that scary old miss Kapatcir accepted only him in our neighborhood. I’m glad the old lady is kind to him, compared to his father who always complains that Ruu didn’t finished his duties or that he shouldn’t spend so much time on playground. I understand that as a son of priest he has to learn, so that he could inherit the role in future and take care of shrine but Ruu is still a child, he shouldn’t be that strict with him. At least it seems his father is afraid of miss Kapatcir too, if she is sitting on the bench close to playground then Ruu can spend much more time there playing and goofing around like a kid should do. -“ (y/n)? Are you alright? You look sad today…” -“Ah I’m fine! Sorry! I just… um… had a nightmare, so I didn’t sleep well today haha!” Ruu looked at me, deep in the thought, then he searched for something in his pockets. -“I got something that will make you feel better!” he took my hand and put something in it. It’s a candy. Lavender Melon flavor. -“I hope you like this flavor but if not… then I can give you another one!!” -“This one is fine! Thank you Ruu! You’re the best!” I smiled to him and he showed me his smile again. “He’s so precious, I want to hug him!” -“Oh! Lumine! Aether! Good morning!” the boy run towards twins that came from the corner of street. Lumine and Aether, the most popular twins in our school, normally I don't care about people from other classes but even so I end up knowing who they are, thanks to  Yoimiya and other people from my class. Them being friends with Yoimiya is not surprising, knowing her, but what I heard from her, Ayaka and Kokomi, they made friends with other popular or eccentric kids in our school. How did they do it? They came two weeks after school started and in one week they become so popular. It would be a lie if I said that I’m not jealous of Lumine. She’s very beautiful, smart, confident, she can make friends with anyone, I’m sure many guys have crush on her as well. Her twin brother is good looking too, I understand why some girls from class would talk about him, his face, no, both twins are like angels. I sighed and continue walking to school, passing quickly by Ruu and twins and saying goodbye to little kid. I don’t really want to be noticed by twins but I would feel bad for not saying ‘bye’ to Ruu. After arriving in my school I sighed. “Just survive this day, and another, and another…till the end of school year weh”. While going to my class suddenly someone hugged me from behind. -“Eek!?” I made a weird sound. -“Hehe! Goood Moorning (y/n) ~” Of course it was Yoimiya. -“Good Morning” I said a bit flustered. “It seems that you are full of energy today, did something happened?” -“Nope!~ Can’t I be happy for just seeing my friend?” she said with a smile, still hugging me. Recently, she started hugging me as a hello, I always liked this form of welcoming with people I feel comfortable with. The first time she hugged me, she surprised me that much that I froze in place, she panicked and started asking if she make me uncomfortable, I remember feeling warm and said that I don't mind that. Back then I felt like our friendship improved a little bit. After releasing me from her hold we continued our way toward class. Yoimiya would talk about many things, sometimes I had hard time follow her stories, but it was nice, to listen, to talk with someone. In previous school I did had people who I could call ‘friends’, but things happened and now they are reason that even if I want to make more friends or open more to Yoimiya, those unpleasant memories stops me from doing that. When we reached our class Yoimiya took my hand and guided me to where Ayaka and Kokomi where sitting. The smile that Yoimiya gave me was saying "I won't let you just go to your sit yet!" -“Good Morning!!” Yoimiya said loudly to two girls. After her, I greeted the girls. -“Good Morning to you two too” said Ayaka, bowing politely. -“Ayaka! Stop with this formality! We are friends here! Right (Y/n)?” Yoimiya said and hugged Ayaka, the blue-white hair girl become red on her face, probably not used to others to hug her like that. -“Y-yeah!” at this moment I realized Yoimiya plan, she wants to make me talk more with them. “Too bad my friend, I’m not ready to talk with them without being awkward!” Kokomi giggled, probably amused for what is happening in front her. -“Yoimiya, I think our Kamisato Lady won't be able to take it any longer, if you continue holding her like that” said salmon pink hair girl, smiling at two other girls. -“Sorry Ayaka!” said the light strawberry blonde hair girl, finally letting go of the daughter of Kamisato family. -“I-it’s okay.” Replied the girl with still red face, I think it’s first time for me, to see her losing her composure. We didn't talk that long with each other, before the bell rings signaling that class is about to start. The day in school went slow, too slow. This time Yoimiya went to eat lunch with her other friends from other classes, I didn’t know them and to not feel like third wheel, I decided to spend lunch break alone. Sitting at my regular place outside school building and eating in silence, I was enjoying the peace. Till I heard two loud boys, probably arguing about something. I noticed that Lumine is with them too. One of them was a big guy with long white hair with some parts being red and red horns “I think I heard about him. What was his name again? Amaraki Otto? Anataki Ritto? Eh whatever” and other, slightly smaller than previous one but still taller than Lumine, with ginger hair “Isn’t that guy from Fatui gang? Lumine could even befriend someone from them?”  The boys starting getting louder and louder till Lumine looked at them saying something, making both of them quiet. Then she went towards gym building, while the boys followed her and start probably arguing between each other again. “Being that popular must be tiring sometimes.” After lunch nothing special happened till the end of classes, when the last bell rang  I was happy to finally go back home, but then I remembered that today is my turn to clean class. “Better finish fast.”  I sighed and started cleaning. At least today my cleaning partner is Kaedehara Kazuha. "At least he won't try to make some small talk". While we were cleaning, it was silent, but suddenly Kazuha said something that I couldn’t hear. -“Sorry, can you repeat? I didn’t hear you.” I ask, thinking he was talking to me. -“ Ah don’t mind me, I was coming up with new haiku.” He smiled and looked at me, Kazuha is another lovely looking person in my class, his red eyes are stunning and warm, his voice is gentle too, I think I wouldn’t mind if he now started to read his haikus or maybe even a whole book. -“I-I see!” I said flustered, realizing that I have been staring at him for too long without response. I turned around and went back to cleaning, not wanting to see his face anymore “He probably thinks that I’m weird…” . I really wished I had more courage to speak with him, I’m not good with poetry but I would like to hear about his haikus. “It’s not big deal! Just ask him about that! Maybe we can even be friends?!” I looked at him, at this moment he was cleaning the board. -“….” I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came of. He had to sense my staring cause suddenly he turned around to look at me. -“Hm? Is something wrong?” he asked, looking at me with cute, confused face. -“I…no…well…” I felt my face being warmer and warmer “…fox….” -“…Pardon?” I felt like running from this class and bury myself in our school garden “Fox?! Why did I say that?! It’s so random! How hard is to ask about silly haiku! Stupid!” -“I think I saw fox outside the class.” I want to go home, I feel so embarrassed that I don’t know anymore what I’m talking about. -“Oh? Really? That’s surprising, the forest is very far away from school…” he said going to the window to look for the fox that doesn’t exist. -“Right? Maybe he got lost, poor thing, I hope it will find way to its home.” I finished cleaning the floor so I went to put broom and dustpan away. I just wanted to get far away from him at this moment. I got so nervous, that my body started to tremble. “I can’t believe myself, this was probably the worst interaction that I had with someone and I still have to come back to the classroom to put tables on their places.” When I calmed down, I came back and with Kazuha's help, we put everything on their right places. Gladly he didn't say anything else, so I could save myself from further embarrassment. After making sure that whole classroom is clean, I said goodbye to Kazuha and went quickly to lockers, to change my shoes and finally left school, to go back home, wanting to forgot about this whole interaction. - “Ugh today is Tuesday I need to study for test that is on Friday, I don’t wanna!” I muttered to myself, not being happy of the thought of studying and doing homework. I took candy from my pocket, to eat it but before I opened the sweet in my hand, I noticed something red passing in front of me. It was little girl with blond pigtails and red cap, she looks to be around age of my little sister, she was going after something round, some kind o ball? Before I knew it, everything went fast. The ball rolled into the street and the girl still followed it, without looking if there were cars. I felt something hitting me and then nothing, I was lying there, the candy from Ruu wasn't in my hand anymore, I think people started to gather around me, everything started to be blurry, I heard child crying, was it that girl? I can't believe it, my body moved on its own to try save this child. "Haha..those that means I'm not such a coward? I can do some things right too?" I think I started to hear someone calling my name but I'm not sure.” Ah… so this is how my life will end?” this was my last thought before everything went black. --- Thank you so much for reading untill end. If everything goes well Chapter 1 will be out tomorrow. 

[wrenrogue]

Kuroo leaves a lot of his things at Kenma's house because that's just how it's always been, even when they were neighbors. Half the time he comes back to kenma wearing/using whatever stuff he left behind a week ago, or something kenma took from his apartment when he last visited.

Kuroo feigns being annoyed at times, but they both know it's not real annoyance, but if kuroo's annoyed at anything is that he can't take a picture of Kenma wearing his dress shirts without getting caught. Or that the only way he can get to kiss Kenma is indirectly by "accidentally" leaving his half drunk mug of coffee behind for Kenma to drink from in the morning. Or that he currently can't give Kenma access to all his things and himself full-time like he ideally wants to do.

It's become such a normal part of their routine though that sometimes kenma asks kuroo to take off the shirt he's wearing because "it's the one I want to wear today"

and Kuroo always goes "but you have your own shirts" as he's halfway out of his own, ready to hand it over.

"yknow sometimes I think you want to steal everything in my apartment" kuroo says as he finds a pan in Kenma's kitchen cupboards he thought he'd lost months ago

"And what if I did?" Kenma shrugs as he eats cereal from a bowl that also has been missing from Kuroo's apartment.

"that's so cruel of you to steal from the poor like that!!"

"The Poor literally sleeps over almost every night!!"

"because The Bourgeois has all my work shirts held hostage!!"

"you have 2 left in your apartment last time I checked!!"

"one has a stain I can't wash off!!"

"I'll buy you a new one!!"

"you'll just end up stealing it!!"

"No I won't!"

"Yes you will!!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Then just let me steal you, so I don't have to steal your shirts anymore!!"

"Kyanma!!" Kuroo gasps dramatically as he points his pan at Kenma, "so you were holding my shirts hostage!!"

Kenma rolls his eyes as he makes his way toward The Poor, "move in with me you weirdo"

"You're only saying that because you want my last good dress shirt"

"I want the idiot that wears it actually"

"You shouldn't call yourself mean things, Kenma"

"Kuro." It's in that moment that Kuroo realizes he's been cornered against the kitchen sink.

"Oh"

"Well?"

"uhhh" says Kuroo articulately. In his defense, it's not everyday one gets to be pinned against the sink by the love of their life, especially not with the offer of moving in together

"I know you want to" Kenma leans forward even further, "I want you to" he says softer still

Kuroo hopes Kenma can't see how hard his heart is currently pounding. It makes him kinda wish he hadn't given the shirt he wore earlier to Kenma. "Can-um... Can I steal something from you first though?" he asks, like an idiot. "It's only fair"

"Like what?" asks The Bourgeois

Since when did Kenma get 5 inches taller? Kuroo thinks as he decides to be an idiot and lean forward to steal a kiss. He realizes he doesn't mind not wearing a shirt when Kenma wraps his arms around his shoulders to close the gap between their bodies even further.

Kuroo briefly wonders as he explores Kenma's mouth if he'd like to take off the shirt he stole from him earlier too... it's only fair...

Unfortunately life isn't fair to The Poor and the pan he once held slips out of his grasp meeting the kitchen tile with a loud clang.

In his defense, kissing Kenma is more important than remembering he's still holding kitchenware.

"your pan" a half dazed Kenma says when he disconnects and his heels touch ground again

"our pan" Kuroo corrects

"Our?" Kenma looks up at him, golden eyes hopeful

Kuroo nods earnestly, beaming like an idiot as he picks up Kenma to sit him on the kitchen counter "Our."

Kenma smiles back, an idiot himself, before he wraps his arms around Kuroo's bare shoulders once more,

"our pan" he whispers before he guides Kuroo into steal another kiss from him, and many more after that; their pan left forgotten on their kitchen floor soon followed by their shirt.

[cazort]

Life Hack: Red Lentils Improve Your Physical & Financial Health

If you do not regularly eat red lentils and you are not allergic to them or otherwise unable to eat them, and you want to experience an immediate improvement in your quality of life, health, and financial situation, you need to know about red lentils.

You can buy these dried for like $2.20 for a pound, or cheaper.

But here's the kicker. They are so easy to cook, even easier than regular green or brown lentils. They are a great lazy food, so easy that they are almost like an instant meal.

Unlike most dried beans, you don't need to soak them. Like, you need to rinse them, but that's it. Like put some in a bowl, cover with water and mix them until they all sink to the bottom, then pour off as much of the water as you can without spilling them. That's it. You rinsed them. They are now ready to cook.

Now you cook them by boiling them in a pot. They cook in 10 minutes. Unlike green lentils which take more like 40 minutes if not soaked. Only 10 minutes and they're soft. If you want them firmer you can cook them shorter, like 8 minutes.

They are so forgiving. I don't even measure the water, like if you put more water in, they come out thinner and soupier. Less water, they come out thicker like a stew. You can cook them less than 10 minutes or more and they will still taste great.

They are incredibly nutritious. If I'm having them as the main thing for dinner, I eat about 1/2 cup dried which turns into maybe about a cup cooked, depending on how much water I added. This much has:

23 grams of protein

36% of your fiber

41% of your B1

23% B6

49% of your Folate / B9

139% Copper

39% Iron

13% Magnesium

14% Potassium

31% Zinc

240mg Omega 3 fat (ALA) or about 15-22%

Pretty much no unhealthy things for most people.

These nutrients are a big deal. A lot of people are deficient in folate, iron, magnesium, zinc, and some in copper, so these are hitting a bunch of common nutritional deficiencies. And they're so high in iron and Folate, B1, and Zinc that if you eat these you're unlikely to end up with a deficiency in any of these nutrients.

And just to let this sink in, this is more protein than 3oz of chicken. And that $2.20 container? It contains 5 servings like the one above. The protein cost about 2 cents per gram which is incredibly cheap as protein sources go. The protein quality (in terms of balance of amino acids) is better than some beans too, i.e. it is relatively more complete than a number of types of beans.

I also love how I feel after eating these. Like sometimes eating too many beans gives me gas. But not these, when I buy dried red lentils and cook them like described above, I feel light and energetic and have no problem with gas.

There is strong evidence that eating lentils is protective against heart disease and cancer so they can help you live longer too.

You can also add so many things to them. The basic thing is to add just the right amount of salt, but when I'm cooking them, I like to add olive oil, spices, herbs, and also dice up some carrots and other vegetables, even something like broccoli. Because they cook fast, you want to dice stuff up into small cubes if you throw it in, so the other ingredients will also cook fast.

I wish I had discovered this food earlier in life. I have been eating lentils for years but for some reason never tried the red ones and never realized they are so much easier to cook. Yeah, other ones are great too but they cook much slower and thus require much more time/effort.

[3416]

what 1634 fics do you want to see. im not gonna write them im just curious

hello anon......... there are far too many i want to see in this world (literally any at all tbh) but conceptually i have rambled in private about a couple that i really want so buckle up... here are some cliche concepts but idc:

okay my ultimate dream fic is like a 50k fic canon compliant to this point like a decade into the future where auston's been forced to retire a few years earlier bc of a career ending knee injury and never wins the cup and basically. retreats back to az and has to cope with that and gets a Lot of distance from the team/hockey media yada yada. mitch keeps playing hockey but the leafs never win the cup and mitch never feels as fulfilled as he thinks he should be. he never has kids (could go into things here....)... separates w steph.... is on the verge of retiring himself...... the catalyst for him showing up in arizona could be a lot of random things (abt to sign divorce papers... announcing his own retirement soon... also had a whole concept of one of their dads passing away but.) but cue the reunion with someone who you built your whole younger self and younger dreams around and having to relearn the person they've become now. mitch escaping the only place he's ever really called home to really try to feel fully comfortable with himself for the first time vs auston seeing the merging of his old life and his new reality................. i mean. that's the dream. idk. post hockey life crisis with people you can't help but love forever tbh. i have rambled about variations of this one for hours before.

i'm also dying for an auston pornstar fic with a clueless like. business bro mitch or smth. everyone has done the cam boy mitch stuff thanks to his streaming but what about auston... what about these pictures... it's giving casting couch....... i don't really care about the plot necessarily... could go w mitch and auston sleeping together n then befriending each other but NOT sleeping together again for a while. could just straight up do pwp, idk, but auston's whole sleaze ball vibe sometimes.. and the mustache..... we deserve pornstar auston.

also desperate for some magical realism au where one of them makes a deal with the devil to get the team a stanley cup but it goes HORRIBLY awry bc things are never what they seem when you're making deals like that. don't have the details ironed out enough in my head to give a real plan here without sounding stupid but i want the angst and pain and realizing their priorities might not be The Ultimate Hockey Goal like they've always thought.

i've also thought about a lot about a more pwp fic where mitch and auston have this calculated shared ritual of like. getting the new guys on the team/new lineys off to ~help the chemistry~. the whole oh it's just bros thing, but mitch and auston tackling it as a team, one whispering in the ear.. one sinking to his knees... a biiit skeezy bc some of these guys would never in a million years wanna sleep with guys but they pose it like it's gonna help the team and it's just smth they do... don't you wanna feel powerful and see cocky number one goal scorer in the league am34 on his knees for you, random newcomer (haha) 4th liner???

also. thought about another magical realism fic where auston and mitch are at mitch's lakehouse high as fuck and accidentally have a wishbaby bc they're TRYING to manifest success for the team and wish on a star with the wrong wording.... also had a batshit au planned vaguely based on the hangover for mitch's bachelor party which COULD involve vgk crossover since i would set it in vegas for the vibes but.

also had an f1 fic idea where mitch was a driver and auston was one his mechanics. there was way more to this one, but realistically i'd take anything with that as a concept. mitch's life being in auston's hands to some degree and auston taking it Very seriously. also mitch treating his wins like its this shared thing and. auston is just one of tens of people who work on his car but thats his fucking GUY!! imagining mitch getting on the podium n trying to jump at the barriers to get to auston and his whole team.......... pls. also had bunts as one of the guys who changes the wheels and picturing the team letting bunts run the some of the socials. they would be fucking off in that garage BIG TIME filming themselves doing stupid silly shit in all the downtime. also. thinking abt the element of having a Secret relationship or situationship in a setting SO public like f1...... could prob turn that one into a multimedia au somehow, ANYWYA---

i've thought abt so many more too lol. this is what i let myself sit here and spew for the hour but. i'm always down to talk about more or if other ppl have ideas and need to flesh them out. i love to yap abt these men.

[thepolymathexcuse]

For my younger self | Musings

Several days ago, I came across this Instagram reel which showed an imaginary conversation between a child version of the original poster and her 20s self. The dialogue (or should I say, the inner monologue) went on like this:

Adult version: Sorry but we didn't become millionaires in our 20s. Child version: Ok, but can we buy a cake? AV: Ofc, even two. CV: Then what are you crying about?

And then I bawled. I literally cried my eyes out at the thought of my younger self being happier at what I have now. It made me rethink the things I wished I had as a child.

I wished I had more books because I was so fond of reading. Well, guess what? I have more than a hundred unread books piled in boxes. I even lend some of them to friends.

I wished I had my own room, so I could have privacy and a place to organize my own stuff. Earlier this year, we finally had our house re-built from the ground up, and I got my own room. It's a long way to go for it to look like my ideal room, but it currently serves those two purposes.

I wished I had more friends, because I’m just an extrovert. Guess what? We have several friend groups, each with their unique way of showing all kinds of love.

Literally, those are the only three things I dreamed of as a child.

When I was in high school and college, I wished for a laptop of my own. Surprise, surprise, we got it. It’s second-hand, but it does the job. In fact, it does more than what I imagined it would. 

And then there's this lifelong dream of mine: I wished I was a writer.

For the past month, I was going through this course about writing on YouTube. I was dedicating time to furnishing my craft. I once longed for the recognition and award when I was in my late teens because of this acquired belief that achievement is vital for people to like me. But again, I have lots of friends.

We don't talk much because everyone is leading their busy lives, but a lot of them still communicate with me. I don't have awards; I don't even have a job right now. But why do they still talk to me? Why do they continue to treat me as their “friend"? 

This led me to realize-–and this was emphasized so much by some of them—that my achievements have nothing to do with why they liked me. This might sound like bragging, but I'm not: it was more about my personality, my humor, my character, and overall my easy going attitude. Those aren't me all the time. I still can get pretty annoying; go ask them. I ramble a lot, as evidenced by my blog posts. I sometimes fail to appreciate them, and I sometimes fail to reply to their messages.

Strangely enough, they still talk to me. Some of them continually reached out to me when I was in a darker phase of my life. They were the ones who believed and reminded me that I'm capable when I myself did not believe so. I will not go into details because each of them has their reasons for keeping me in their life. 

I was raised in an environment where the only way to gain approval or even the tiniest bit of affection is through the amount of medals you can receive. In turn, this had instilled in me this mindset of always needing to stand out. 

But I don't have to—not anymore.

This particular reel had me in tears because it made me realize what the essence of life really means to me. Having no job right now means a lot of free time, and a lot of those are spent on reflection and journaling. I learned a lot about myself: what drives me, what motivates me, and what goals really matter to me, without the need to please everyone. 

I still have dreams I have yet to fulfill. Like, building my own house because I also value being independent. Or having my own property. Having a master's degree. And having the job that's aligned with my personal vision.

There's still a lot to do, but the most valuable lesson that this resting season has taught me is to just appreciate all the little things. 

I learned how to be content with what I currently have and to use these limited resources in making the most out of my current situation. This perception of contentment has been essential to becoming what I always aspire to be: a happy individual.

I've noticed how I've become more appreciative of the things around me. This joy, this inner sense of gratitude, disappeared when I was too busy trying to earn more because I was filled with the constant urge to have more and be more. It's this weird concept that society (and to be honest, most of social media) continues to put in our minds: that having the next big thing or keeping up with trends will lead to a happy life. But it's not. At least to me (and to some experts in the field of happiness psychology), it certainly holds true. 

A mindset of abundance and completeness—that everything you need in your current situation is already with and within you—works for me better than the delusions of scarcity brought by greed and the constant fear of missing out.

Don't get me wrong, I still aim for a better, more comfortable life, but it’s not just for myself. It's for my parents and for the people that matter to me. 

I'm also not completely optimistic about everything, and I recognize that there are worse things happening in the world right now. But I can't just let that continue to happen. I want to take action in making the world a better place for future generations. But I should stop waiting for the time I have more. I cannot let my limited resources prevent me from doing what I think could help people. Being a better person through continuous learning, which eventually leads to having better and more resources would allow me to reach more people. I have to take control and take action now.

As you have noticed, I ramble a lot, and for some reason, I love to write. I will not be the next Maya Angelou or Pablo Neruda, but I was blessed with a mind that tries to find the connection in everything. And I want my writing to reflect that dream of helping people figure out their life purpose the way that self-learning is helping me figuring out how to live mine.

It's these moments of deep reflection that make me so grateful for what I have right now, and make me wish that other people could potentially hold the same mindset. 

Life may be uneventful right now but here's what I know: my younger version would be smiling from ear-to-ear when he hears that his dreams have now become a part of our reality. We are living the life he once yearned for.

And to me, it's all that matters right now.