#something that's not an epic!

[coquexari]

BRACE FOR THE STORM!

[o3o-lapd-o3o]

i like to imagine that the rest of the gods on olympus were all watching ody turn poseidon into swiss cheese, with a variety of emotions throughout them.

zeus: *impressed but slightly very worried* maybe i let him cook for too long on that island.

zeus: oh well rather poseidon than me

hera: *mainly nonchalant but hiding a tiny smile behind her chalice*

hera: *after hearing next to my wife* that is what you call a man who loves his wife *side eyes zeus*

zeus: *sweats*

hephaestus: *kind of impressed* well he avenged his crew *shrugs*

ares: *in awe* athena didn't lie about the bloodshed!

ares: *hears poseidon beg for mercy* *odysseus doesn't give him that*

ares: *now in love with ody* THIS IS MY FAVOURITE MORTAL EVER

aphrodite: *just blinking in disbelief* he's not wasting anymore time to get home i guess?

hermes: *is proud but also in slight shock* thats a mindset change alright...

hermes: *gasps* i need to tell athena!

hermes: *grins* but first-

hermes: guess ~ i ~ should be the one to take poor dear uncle to the infirmary! *giggles at the drama he's about to cause there*

apollo: *sighs* let me get another bed made up

apollo: *heads off to his olympus infirmary*

[meteor752]

Zeus all arrogant: My oh my brother, all that work to get revenge on the mortal, and he beats you?You must feel so ashamed…

Poseidon, still bleeding profusely and literally vibrating from horniness: Do you think if I kill his son he’ll do it again?

[adrift-in-thyme]

There’s something terribly poetic in the inevitability of events in EPIC. The choices Odysseus is given lead to no win situations. They aren’t really choices at all.

Kill a foe’s child or witness the death of your own. Sacrifice six men or sacrifice them all. Allow your crew to starve or watch as they slaughter sacred cattle.

Sacrifice your friends, your brothers, or give up your last chance at reaching home.

In the end, the result is always the same. He destroys himself

[dark-elf-writes]

God but the final breach of decorum right before everything goes to hell.

He’s Ody. Not Captain. Not the king. His is a friend and brother. Even after betrayal after betrayal on both sides. Even with the blood of hundreds on both of their hands. Both of them are pleading for the other to understand.

And in the end it doesn’t matter.

[metamorphesque]

These lines (first from the films, thereafter from the books) taught me something profoundly essential about how to be there for a friend, a lover, or a loved one when they are consumed by despair, weighed down by grief, or overwhelmed by the weight of mental torment. It taught me that some burdens are sacredly personal; untransferable tasks that each of us must face in our own time and way.

Yet, while we cannot take their pain or carry their burden for them (no matter how much we wish we could), there is something else we can do. While we cannot lift their burden, we can lift them. We can carry their weary body, their weary heart, as they bear the weight of their pain. In doing so, we offer them a sanctuary — a place of care and safety, where they can begin to confront their hurt without the fear of being alone in its gaze.

While the pain may be theirs to bear, the journey through it need not be traveled in solitude.

John Ronald Reuel Tolkien, I love you.

[finnitesimal]

let it run through me, cut through me

gut him like a fish

[a-person-on-the-internet]

Only Epic the Musical could have a solid 50% of the fandom say "ooh kinky" after watching a graphic torture scene.

I do not blame any of yall. I can see it.

But also. Damn.

[protagaster]

Calypso, gesturing to herself and the rest of the suitors: Now, which of us will be the object of your attraction?

Odysseus, very obviously uninterested in any of them: Hm, wow, what great options. This is going to be so hard.

[Penelope walks in, hair disheveled and clothes ripped up. She is also covered in blood]

Penelope: Oh, sisters. I’m back from war.

Odysseus, with hearts in his eyes while he shoves every single woman out of the way: Hello, sailor!

[yumieio]

Athena being all gentle parent with Telemachus

odysseus who literally did not get that treatment: WTF

[doesephs]

homer was the original multishipper, eurylochus bagged ctieme and an early grave !

[kamodofilez]

“The sun on her shoulders, wind in her hair…”

“…And suddenly Hades, was only a man,”

Was outlining what I had in mind for this AU, but I had this scene stuck in my head all day.

Bonus:

[xxplastic-cubexx]

throws these at you

[venominomenon]

Do you think in the Underworld Eurylochus heard voices of the drowned men asking him why he opened the bag?-

[o3o-lapd-o3o]

people be wondering why there's no appearance from hades in any of the sagas, especially the underworld saga (even if he wasn't in the odyssey itself) i have a theory!

spoilers for vengeance saga and future ithaca saga!

do you not understand how busy that poor guy/god is during odysseus' terrible, horrible, no good, bad journey home™

first he has 7 freshly made pancakes men (14 if you count the club smash noises in survive, but we'll go with 7 for this) sent by chef polyphemus, appearing one after the other.

not long after that, you have 550 very soaked (drowned) men pop through in the blink of an eye, no thanks to his younger brother, mr ruthlessness himself, poseidon.

then while he's still counting/organising the paperwork for them, a young man appears, who happens to be very drunk (talking about pig men?)

not long after that, somehow a warship filled with mortal men breaks into the underworld, ALL ALIVE, and the (king? leader? captain? he's not too sure at this point) starts singing outside his front door about becoming a monster????? but before he can sic cerberus on them, they leave on their own

finally he thinks he has a break when 6 men holding torches (are some missing limbs?!?) have now joined the party down under (granted they're all in no mood to party, they weren't expecting to become snacks for a sea monster)

and just as quick as they'd arrived, in a flash (just like the snap of lightning that took them out) 36 crispy/fried men (gods damn it zeus) appear, weapons drawn like they were about to attack someone (how does that one guy at the front swing such a big sword?)

at this point hades is wondering what the fuck is happening upstairs, because ain't no way these 600 men are all from the same fleet/island under one guy's command (turns out the captain's name is odysseus)

he thinks his prayers are answered because he has had peace for 7 years, just the normal flow of souls into the underworld- (wait whats that chanting)

suddenly those previous 600 souls are flying their way outta the underworld (he didn't know they could do that) while singing "six hundred men! (six hundred)" on repeat

they return though (thank the gods, he didn't need to go soul hunting) and once again he thinks everything will be calm

(he also found out from zeus, that their brother got his godly-ass handed to him by that MORTAL odysseus! WHO USED HIS OWN WEAPON AGAINST HIM (something to help make him laugh over spring & summer and while he waits for his beautiful persephone to return home))

he finally thinks his time with odysseus and the souls that come from him/being around him is over. when in minutes of each other, the souls of 108 men appear, all killed in gruesome ways. then they tell him that they were killed by beggar who then revealed himself as king odysseus, from trying to marry his wife and take over his kingdom (ok very understandable murder then)

at this point hades doesn't know whether he's excited for, or dreading the day he actually meets odysseus in the distant future (yes distant, i don't care about/ don't accept the telegony. let the poor man enjoy the rest of his life with his son and wife!!!)

but yeah, understandable why you don't hear from him throughout the sagas

[kittenscookie]

Currently thinking of omegaverse epic Au where Omega Odysseus is constantly fighting off his alpha suitors. My thought process is Penelope's a beta and it's common for omega kings to take a second spouse that can...well you get the picture. Anyway one day he's just trying to enjoy himself at the beach (skinny dipping in the tides) when a few of the suitors pull up like "Heeeeeeey~". So Odysseus finally snaps and says something along the lines of "The only alpha who could be worthy of an omega such as myself would be Poseidon!"

"Oh really~?"

Thunder rumbles above them, they all look up, and there sits Zeus on his throne of women shaped clouds (did I watch Neil Illustrators God Games animatic earlier, maybe). Looking smug and putting on his best bedroom eyes,

"What about Zeus, king of the gods~?"

Odysseus considers it for like 0.5 seconds, before swallowing nervously and essentially saying "I said what I said". Zeus is completely taken aback, absolutely dumbstruck as Poseidon finally busts from the sea, grabs Odysseus by the hips and basically goes "HA! Now fuck off jackass he's mine!"