#someone tell me how im supposed to gif this fucking scene when all they do is standthere

[downtwngrl]

INTRICATE.

hi so it’s been a WHILE. uhhhh rewatched challengers for the thousandth time and it broke me out of my writers block! i don’t know how im going to continue w this, so feel free to drop any ideas and ill add it to the lore 😈 note: series prob isn’t gonna end with any smut scene bc im incapable of writing one without it sounding stupid asf! but who knows, you might be surprised

cw: 1.4k words,,, art and reader are dating but fighting, set in stanford era, tashi is NOT injured, patashi, hints of reader crushing on tashi but repressing it, fighting, tensiontensionTENSION! basically everyone is friends with one another but they all want each other BAD. lmk what else i should add :)

“it’s complicated.” that’s what you say every time someone asks you what your relationship with art donaldson is. and it’s true— you guys are fiery, but not explosive. complex, but not convoluted. it’s just… strange. intricate. hence, complicated.

you think he’d probably say the same thing, but there’s no real way to know, since you can’t exactly ask. the two of you aren’t on speaking terms right now, and for the same reason you two stopped talking last time, and the time before that.

art donaldson can’t split his time between his girlfriend and his fucking best friend’s girlfriend. and you can recite the argument quite well, maybe even word for word; it’s still fresh in your mind, engraved there.

“c’mon, you can’t just keep ditching me for her. it’s annoying, and it hasn’t just happened once or twice, you know.”

“i know.” art sighed, a hand tangled in his hair as if to ground himself. your name fell from his lips, voice cracking midway. “what do you want me to do? she needed help with her physics homework.”

“she can get one of her fucking groupies to help her! she’s a big girl, she doesn’t need to rely on you.” the way you said it, mocking and condescending, was mean, and you know it. you don’t hate tashi— you can’t even bring yourself to dislike her. but it hurts every single time you text art on your motorola and get hit back with some half-assed variation of ‘helping tashi. sry :( i’ll come later.’ he never actually shows up at ‘later’, which only rubs salt in the wound.

art’s jaw ticked. his eyebrows furrowed and eyes darkened in a way you’d only seen once before, when someone was talking shit about tashi in the cafeteria. you had watched as she calmly reassured art that is was fine, that he needed to relax, but he only shook his head and clenched his fists. in that moment, you wondered if he ever got that angry if he overheard someone talking about you. you now doubt it.

“don’t talk about her like that.” he said it calmly, but your skin still prickled. “she’s an accomplished lady. what about you? what have you done?”

if you sounded condescending before, it was nothing compared to how he sounded then. you scoffed away the sinking feeling in your stomach, blinked back the sting in your eyes. there was a lot you could have said to him then: ‘i might not be half as good at tennis as she is, but that’s less embarrassing than being second-best to her boyfriend.’ or ‘i didn’t compete for her number and lose.’ hell, even a good ‘fuck you’ would have sufficed.

instead, you just stood there, frozen, as he grabbed his stanford sweatshirt and left.

when you tell the story to patrick, he laughs, and doesn’t stop laughing until you jab him with your elbow, effectively knocking the oxygen out of him. his hands raise in mock surrender before speaking. “sorry, it’s just funny to see him get like this, i guess.”

you frown. “what’s that supposed to mean?”

“i mean that he likes you, but he likes tashi. i know it, tashi knows it, and from what i heard on the walk here—” he gestures vaguely towards the door to your dorm, “—the school knows it, too. i dunno, i guess it’s amusing ‘cause art has never been so disturbed about this kind of shit. usually he just picks the girl he likes best, but he can’t.”

“you mean he can’t because you’re dating her.”

patrick smirks his signature smirk. you have the urge to punch his teeth out; vagueness is beginning to be a pet peeve of yours. “no, i’ve told him that tashi is free reign.”

the way your stomach flutters at that is shameful. you push the feeling away. “like, you guys aren’t..?”

patrick shrugs. “i mean, currently she hates me because i said i’d go to her match yesterday and i missed it.” these guys really need to stop promising us stuff, you think. “but yeah, when she isn’t pissed off, we’re dating, and we talk about it. ‘bout you guys. she doesn’t really care if the two of you make moves on either one of us.”

you don’t say anything, but your ears feel warm, and your heart is about to explode out of your chest. it doesn’t help when patrick takes that as a sign to keep talking and says—

“i don’t care either.” it suddenly hits you, the closeness between you and him. close enough that you can smell his cologne, one typical of a rich frat boy you’d pass by in the halls. but it feels different, with him. patrick’s smirk has shifted into a grin, a big one. you realize he’s been gauging your reaction, and is thoroughly pleased.

“oh,” you breathe. he snickers, repeats it back playfully. you don’t understand how he’s so relaxed, able to make light-hearted jabs in this moment. art likes you and tashi. tashi doesn’t care if he likes her, or if you like her. patrick doesn’t either. but where do you stand in this?

your phone jingles, the sound muffled from the blood roaring in your ears. you don’t know if you should thank or curse out whoever decided to call you at this second, but you excuse yourself to answer. patrick nods begrudgingly, backs up enough for you to have room to finally start to inhale and exhale again. “hello?”

“hey.” it’s art on the phone. impulsively, you look around, as if he’s hiding somewhere in the dorm he marched out of a few days ago.

holy fuck. “hey!” you sound too cheery to your own ears, and hope that over the line it sounds more convincing. you hear a sigh on the other end, and can imagine art physically loosen. “what, uh— i thought you were mad. at me.”

patrick perks up. ‘art?’ he mouths, and you nod. he attempts to come closer, but you swat at him, moving a few steps away. he pulls a face, but doesn’t move closer. still, he’s definitely trying to hear what art is saying.

“i was.” art laughs nervously, the sound tinny over the phone. “but you’re right. i fucked up. tashi… she isn’t my girl. i need to pay more attention to you, and that’s gonna happen starting now.”

she isn’t my girl. “she could be,” you think aloud. you tense. art chokes. patrick stifles a laugh.

“what?” you pray that he didn’t hear it. you had mumbled it, whispered it, there’s a chance it didn’t pick up. art says your name one, two, three times before you respond.

“sorry, i just zoned out a little.”

“no, you said something. baby, what’d you say?”

“i said ‘you should be’. like, you should be paying more attention, dumb joke, i was trying to sound threatening,” you slap your free hand against your lips to stop your word vomit, then your forehead as you reprimand yourself for acting so stupid.

art hums. “oh, okay.” it should relieve some on the tension in your shoulders, but it doesn’t. he usually laughs when you fluster, but he didn’t. is he unconvinced, or are you overthinking? “hey, tomorrow can you come to my practice at noon? we can go to the cafeteria after, i’ve got wayyy too many meal credits.”

you look to patrick for help, but he shrugs, enjoying the moment. “sure.”

art says his goodbyes, goes ‘mwah!’ through the phone (which usually makes you laugh, but now you feel bad), and once you say bye, he hangs up.

“i’ll go to his practice, too.” it’s never a question with patrick (or with tashi); he just lets you know. “tashi’ll be there. she’s always on the court when she’s free.” you find it endearing that he knows her schedule.

“tashi.” you like the way her name rolls off your tongue, but you’d rather die than admit it.

before you can say anything else, patrick walks over, swings an arm around your shoulders and pulls you close. “don’t forget about what i said.” his breath smells like spearmint gum, the type art is always chewing. maybe he gave him a piece. “just think on it, yeah?”

you nod, and he pats your cheek before walking out the door, leaving you feeling dazed. after a few moments of just laying on your bed, soaking in the conversation you just had, your phone dings.

we’ll see u tmrw :-) -pat (&tash)

[chryblossomjjk]

bts fic recommendations | 03.07.23

→ hi friends! this is a little segment i do every tuesday (reviewsday get it, aren’t i funny, pls tell me how funny i am) where i read and review two-three fics. as a content creator, i know how big of a role other creators play in your growth, therefore, i want to do my part in making sure everyone gets the recognition they deserve! so with that being said, please check out the amazing fics listed below. make sure to like, reblog, and leave feedback! ♡ #reviewsday #kikirecs

stardust - @euphoricfilter (jjk x reader | fluff, smut, f2l)

summary:  if jungkook would have known an unintentional orgasm would have led to this, then he would have begged you to work out with him sooner.

naur bby when i tell you i loved this from the first paragraph...

"If every living being’s foundation is made of stardust, scattered when born, then Jungkook thinks the two of you were made from the same star."

and the way you continued the analogy throughout was pure literature gold (or should i say diamond teehee). its stuff like this that i read and im like damn, the moots are really out here posting fics that could easily be published best sellers for fucking free!! how lucky are we!!!

OOF AND THE PILLOW PRINCESS COMMENT HAD ME LOOKING AROUND THE ROOM BLUSHING BC HOW DOES HE KNOW ME LIKE THAT I FELT CALLED OUT LMAO

and the whole workout scene hits even better after his workout live like i legit was able to visual everything... and sex in the mirror will never not be top tier :')

i love this jungkook dearly. this is how i imagine irl jk yk? just that hopeless romantic vibe, feeling that he has someone on this earth that is meant for him and he's meant for them. thats encapsulated so beautifully in this fic. such beautiful writing, thank you for blessing us with this fucking masterpiece!!

knee high socks - @minniesvenus (jjk x reader | smut, college au)

summary: after being obsessed with you and your knee high socks for forever, jungkook can't believe that you finally notice him.

okay so do you ever just hear a song or smell a smell that feels so incredibly nostalgic and fills your head with dreamy thoughts and stars and stuff... that's exactly how i felt while reading this! like i just kept thinking of the arctic monkeys song and the way you characterized jungkook's crush is just so authentic. its just that pure school crush feeling where you anticpate seeing this person and the more time you see them you pick up on little things and it makes you fall even deeper oof. there's just something so fimilair about the way you wrote this and it's probably one of the most realistic depictions i've seen of the natural progression of a crush like uGH THE FUCKING TALENT !!!

and it makes you root for him so much like i was internally cheering for him when she asked him to sit next to him. it was so fucking wholesome and sweet i screamed

and then shit got unwholesome real quick whew

her giving him praise actually made me so happy though! like you definitely inspired me to write more of that bc its so refreshing and cute!! and the smut was saur naughty but so sweet bc she was just guiding him through the motions and once again it just felt so natural which is no easy feet!! like you really hit the nail on the head with this one and it will be added to my comfort fic list asap!! so so so lovely!!

in the seom: love for dummies - @thvhoe (jjk x reader | smut, fluff, angst, fwb, college au, camping au)

summary: always the friend, never the girlfriend. jeon jungkook doesn't date. at least that's what he thought until he met you, a chemistry student who seemed to have it all—except for love. meeting at a mutual friends frat party, you hit it off right away. however, due to both of your stubbornness, it has never progressed beyond being friends with benefits. the annual camping trip with your friend group was supposed to be the turning point in your relationship with jungkook. but what happens when your best friend of 18 years unexpectedly comes back from busan and confesses to you, further complicating matters?

OoF WHAT A FUCKING OPENING SCENE LMAO!! i was horny from fucking JUMP!!! and kook juggling between pet names and not knowing what to call her made me giggle but always made me extremely soft like aw :') <3

and y/n really whipped that fuckboy into shape we love to see it!! he better buy gifts n work for the coochie!!! >:(

"Pookie🩶: Can't sleep. Send me a pic of your boobies?"

this had me cackling bc this behavior is saur... annoyingly endearing like he legit is a big baby and i love him lmao even though unholy he is extremely cute.

^y/n and i both having immaculate taste and listening to ditto

and i am so thankful things turned out well for this pairing. i felt so sad for him like ugh the protectiveness and worry over her. he was generally just so wholesome throughout this entire fic. def a fav protrayal of jungkook. thank you so much for sharing this beautiful peice with us my love!

[solar-halos]

spoilers for the ballad of songbirds and snakes movie down below!! but i just need to talk abt this in xtreme detail before i explode

1. i really liked the Baby Snow / Tigris inclusion. i was wondering if they’d include the cannibal scene

2. the beginning was just a straight up thirst trap sorry. like ik in the book snow was freaking out over his shirt but it didn’t rlly occur to me that he’d be butt booty naked. im not complaining bc i said it once and i’ll fucking say it again: i’m not watching someone be manipulative AND ugly for two fucking hours. it was just kinda a jump scare

3. also another concern was that you wouldn’t be able to tell how shitty of a person he was since he’s so outwardly nice but his internal monologue is slimy and ratworthy, so i thought they’d do the things movies do where he’s narrating his thoughts to the audience. yk like “hey persephone! <3. how are you??” and then his voiceover is like “i fucking hate this bitch. cannibalistic weirdo” but maybe that would have been too humorous

4. speaking of humor i actually loved lucky so fucking much. he rlly emulated the whole “what i lack in experience i make up for in personality :)” thing and just he kinda carried the fact that everything abt televising the games was so new. also that scene at the zoo where lucy gray asked him who the fuck he even was and the cameraman started laughing.. funny as fuck. enjoyed that part immensely

5. also she did in fact correct them that her name was lucy gray and not just lucy

6. loved the whole “how come she gets a mender” “MENTOR” part i’m also glad they kept that in

7. let’s go back to the beginning. i LOVE how closely they stuck to the book when it came to the shirt scene “that must be why it reminds me of my maids bathroom” THATS what i’m talking about

8. also clemensia is sooo pretty. one thing that irritated me was how OFTEN she and snow kept glancing over at each other during dean highbottom’s speech. like i know i’m being irrational abt this but most the time she would look over at him and he would NOT look back (or vice versa) instead of them BOTH hitting each other w the “what the fuck?” glance and something abt that did admittedly grind my gears

9. fucking love sejanus’ actor the first movie i saw him in was west side story and he ate here

10. speaking of that… coral fucking ate too every single scene i was on her side she was the victor to ME

11. anyway let’s go back a bit with the proposal gaul had snow (and clemensia) write up. to me, the way the scene unfolded was weird. it was supposed to show a contrast between clemensia mourning and snow not rlly giving a fuck, but clemenisa being the one saying “give me the bullet points” was strange. to me, i feel like the convo should have gone like: “how could gaul expect us to write that proposal i was crying over arcchane all night” “dw i already wrote it” “where did you find the time? i was too busy grieving” “do you want the bullet points or not?” or something. idk i’m not a movie writer

12. why did clemensia stick her hands in there maybe it was the same in the book but at that point she just needed to admit defeat

13. okay one thing i DO remember about the book is that no one at the cornocupia fought each other, reaper was literally the only one ready to fight. that kinda pissed me off bc i feel like they could have made it interesting in a emotional way (like showing how desperate the tributes are to escape in their own ways) instead of an action sort of way (bc GODDAMN where did they learn to brawl like that?? d4 makes sense but some of them were shooting ARROWS katniss everdeen style). but again im not a movie person so “interesting in an emotional way” is just me being pretentious

14. wovey </3. i’m not rlly sure why they had dill drink the water i think having wovey drink it like in the book would have packed more of a punch ESPECIALLY since lucy gray makes a comment abt how she reminds her of maude ivory / that scene where wovey holds her hand. maybe that was in the book too tho i’m not sure i haven’t read it since it came out. one change that i did remember AND tolerated was snow being the one to cause the whole fuck up w the drones “i wasn’t attacking the other tributes—i was just sending her water” VERY good scene, gave more insight to his character imo. like yes i would have loved a d3 moment but i think this tweak not only made sense but made everything much more nice and neat and smooth

15. okay the singing parts. loved the reaping, but lucy gray constantly being like “give me a second, boys” “let’s go, boys” reminded me of that one delaney video

16. “you can kiss my ass!!!!!!” she ate that

17. also oooo the song she sang abt billy taupe that made snow jealousssss. she was so good like ugh. idk something abt the >:( faces she made ignited something in me. which is exactly the point of lucy gray and rachel zegler literally did such a fantastic job playing maria in west side story so tbh what we were expecting if anyone could have played this role it was her

18. and then lawrence whatever saying this was a love story… okay. i’ve always had the opinion that lucy gray genuinely liked snow (like in a stockholm-y way) BUT snow was too blinded by control to actually love her back, so i could see where he was coming from. with that being said, i feel like in the books snow had a lot more moments where he was doing / saying “sweet” things to lucy gray, so the scene where they almost kissed and then her happiness at being reunited with him just seemed so awkward and out of place. like i get it they truly did not spend that much time together but the kiss before the arena was so important idk why they left it out. when they kissed after being reunited and when she was like :D after seeing him in 12 i was like “uhh yall don’t even know each other like that calm down”

19. let’s go back the arena. i like the little nod of lucy gray killing treech w rat poison, even if it was kinda anticlimactic

20. speaking of anticlimatic… the ending? sucked. like it would have been abrupt either way and maybe i’m just misremembering but the lucy gray showdown with treech could have been the action scene that replaced the bloodbath (bc the bloodbath didn’t exist back then!!! that was the whole point!!!). also i don’t remember gaul being so adamant about not wanting a victor at all, but i understand why they did that bc how else would they have incorporated the “get her out” chant

21. there were a lot of scenes that made me go “ohhh i wanna remember this forever that’s so good and clever.” of course i forgot abt most of it by the time the movie was over, but one scene that stuck out to me was when the capitol students got rlly fuckin angry when reaper tore down their flag

22. also i knew what happened to marcus but tell me why i gasped when i saw him hanging there anyway

23. i don’t remember lamina crying in the books??? also don’t understand why snow was against the alliance here i think him being confused abt it in the book was better bc i when i read it i remember being genuinely surprised that he was surprised that lucy gray wanted to team up w someone i was like ummm isn’t that common sense

24. “it isn’t fair i killed all those ppl for nothing.” GOOSEBUMPS

25. again maybe i’m misremembering but didn’t snow beat the shit out of bobbin even after he already knew he was dead?? even if that wasn’t the case and i’m just misremembering i feel like they should have drawn that out more to show snows descent into Psychotic Bitch Mode

26. that scene where billy taupe was pulling at lucy grays skirt and being like “ik u missed me” dragged out for WAY too long, esp since lucy gray kept repeating “get off me, billy taupe. get off me” like WAY too calmly given the context of the situation. again im not a movie person AT ALL, but i think her snapping and kicking billy taupe away could have been a nod to how she bit his hand in the book. then, after she kicked him, snow could have arrived and started being the shit out of him. idk her biting billy taupe was something snow mentioned when he was justifying how he was gonna kill her, so idk. i thought they were gonna do a ranting sequence / flashback scenes with snow remembering how lucy gray was “violent” / “dangerous” that would trigger him (no pun intended) to actually start shooting. like him beating up billy taupe for a longer time than he needed to was also an indicator that he’s in Psychotic Bitch Mode, but i feel like it could have been a 2-in-1. if that makes sense

27. why did billy taupe push mayfair in the TITS. go to hell

28. said it before and i’ll say it again: lucy gray is a fashion icon. i wanna crochet her bathing suit so bad

29. that scene where they were going to the woods and snow was slapping away the mosquito omg. he was PISSED

30. “it’s a mystery. just like me” oh my fucking god i love rachel zeglers portrayal of lucy gray

31. also call me classist but i fucking hate country music but rachel zeglers performances might have converted me. “cant take my paaaaaast” yee yee!

32. okay. so i think a big question was if snow was portrayed as properly slimy and ratworthy to ppl who did NOT read the books. in my opinion, i don’t think so. in the books, you can obviously tell he’s fucking awful. in the movies, he’s obviously shitty too, but i feel like there are moments where he’s portrayed way kinder than he actually is, like when he started crying over sejanus. they kept in a lot of stuff he said sympathizing w the tributes (like the part in the book where he was like “how could they punish marcus for trying to escape from certain death?” BUT they DID leave out parts that made him so intolerable, like when he genuinely convinced himself that lucy gray was more capitol than district / his gross thoughts abt the games and control and possessiveness in general. like remember when he said that having lucy gray locked up in the capitol was a better alternative than her being in d12 bc at least he’d know where she was at all times?? or when he was ready to give up on trying to reunite w her bc it was hot asf and SENJAUS had to be the one to convince him to keep going? wtf

33. ALSO something that bugged the hell out of me is sejanus’ death scene. bc in the book his last words were ma BUT in the movie it sounded so much like he said pa. idk if that was just me tho but it caught me so off guard bc this man has DADDY ISSUES and it would be so different if he said pa. Pa is money and wealth, Ma is comfort and compassion. wanting his dad = he rlly just wanted his dad to bail him out. wanting his ma = wanting comfort and stability. but it sounded a lot more like ma when the jabberjays repeated everything back so maybe i just misheard

34. snow glaring at the rainbow fucking sent me i know his ass was brainstorming (no pun intended) on how to control the fucking weather

35. okay sorry i need to talk more about how snow was portrayed. my sister went w me but i did not know that she didn’t know ANYTHING about the movie, she was just coming w me bc she felt bad that i’d have to wait another week to watch it and decided that she wasn’t even gonna read a summary abt it. like she did not know that coriolanus snow = president snow, but i was still hoping that she knew that he was a bad person. nope. as soon as we left, she told me how much she hated the ending, and i thought it was bc she was pissed no one found out about snow. nope again. in her words, “i thought they’d get married”

my live reaction to that information

to be fair, when i was her age, i thought heathers was a love story, so i had to cut her some slack. after a bit of INTERROGATION, this is what she told me:

1. at least she thought that HE’D move in with HER, and not the other way around

2. what would be his motivation for moving to the districts? cos obviously he hated the capitol

okay me when i write a lucy gray / sejanus fanfiction. but still. if that’s what she got from the portrayal of his character, i think it’s safe to say that they could have done a lot more work to ensure that he was perfectly ratworthy to the audience. like yes she’s young and yes she had no idea what the fuck was going on (in her words: “yeah i was like ‘i’ll just ask u to explain it to me after’”) but i feel like knowing that he’s an awful person who hates the district should be something u make GLARINGLY obvious, even if it would be cheesy. i know that shoving a hot person on screen and downplaying their characters HEINOUS crimes is rlly common when it comes to things like this, but i genuinely don’t think that was (quite) the case here. like he had the potential of being as horrible as he is in the book (not even hesitating to send the jabberyjay recording of sejanus to the capitol, telling sejanus he only said all that shit abt changing the world bc he just wanted to save his own ass) but it just.. felt very half-assed. in my opinion

36. look i know this post is already xtremely long but would u believe me if i said there were more things i wanted to talk abt but can’t remember bc i have goldfish memory?? bc i do. but that’s all i can remmeber for now. goodnight and goodbye

[neyliaart]

Death is a Guide

Okay so i have realised that tumblr might be the place for my random obsessive analitical shit. So here goes:

Death in media is mostly portraied (from what ive seen) as one of two broad categories:

A: Death as the antagonist to life, the one who is the cause of all death and yearns to eradicate life. The Death that if killed would lead to dying not happening again because Death is portraied as the cause of it. Death is the reason life comes to an end. Often also the most evil of it all.

B: Death as a sort of guide. Death not as lifes antagonist but something of a companion. Death not as the one responsible for the end of ones life, but the one to guide you after said end. Deaths death would not make live everlasting because this Death was not the cause behind the end of life.

And in my overthinking mind i have today come to the conclusion that everyones favorite wolf is the latter altough he evidently does not behave like your typical guiding Death. Nobody asked but i will explain why anyway because i didnt see anybody else do it yet and i want to because it is fun.

I base this on two things specifically, one of which is the scene with the past lives of Puss.

Puss is rather shocked to find out Death himself has come to him because "Im still alive" and one of his past lives even states that what Death is doing is cheating. If not this then what else can tell us that Death is not the one meant to end the lifes of beings? Death is not the one ending their lifes, not the one who decides when a life is over because otherwise this wouldnt be cheating to begin with. If this is cheating then he is supposed to collect the souls after their demise, lead them to the afterlife or whatever other iteration you might choose for him.

He also does not object this statement, he only shushes it with a gesture like he is much aware of his own breaking of the rules and just does not care much about it. A motion somewhat akin to admitting that taking a life directly is not something he is supposed to be doing. Not part of his job as litterally Death.

Second thing is:

He is not an antagonist to live itself either. He is not Death because he has a hatred for live, quiet the opposite. He hates Puss specifically for having nine lives and valuing none of them. He lets him go when he starts to fight and live and VALUE his life. So instead of having a thing against life as a concept he has a thing against wasting life. Which is not much of a thing you would do if you sought to destroy life itself.

Honestly:

I think we all noticed that in some way. I think watching this movie everyone (in one way or another) is aware that Death is a Guide here. We are all aware that he is one of the most crucial parts in Puss's Character Developement in this movie because without the Fear of Death does not come the want to live. That is something you can hardly miss watching this movie and one of the parts that makes it so amazing for me.

But!

Where it gets really interesting for me personally is this:

I refuse to believe that an exsistense to cruical to the world like Death would not know his own role in it. It does not sit right with me to imagen Death himself would not know about how he is essentially a guide, a way for others to value the time they have alive because through him it is limited. And in some way he is also connected to that sentiment, to valuing life because if you don't it is evidently shown that it pisses him off.

So if he knows that, what does that mean?

I will not tell you that he never actually tried to kill Puss and how the cats character developing was always his goal, but i will lean out to say it was always a possibility he was aware of and a possible outcome he didnt object with.

I like to see Death first going out of his way to meet Puss at this bar as a plan with two possible ends for him:

1. He gets to cut work short and even have a little fun by fucking with someone he does absolutly despise for the ego twice his size.

2. Someone starts to value their last life before throwing it out the window.

Both of which options he (evidentially through the end) is at least okay with. I can go on another tangion of why i believe that he was not as invested in the chase at the first encounter as he was in the last and why i believe he wouldn't have been as pissed if he has scared some sense into Puss in their first encounter. But i think one is enough for now.

So while Death does not act as your typical guiding figure i do believe he is aware that he is one. He was always aware that Puss changing was something his interference could lead to and that was at least part of the potential his plan held.

I never know how to end my own rambling so i will just end it here.

In short i really just love thinking about him because he does make a great character with various things to dip into.

[gridelincarver]

hey I trust u what are ur top 5 Iorveth songs 👀 im in a creative bind I need inspo (im also @essskel but u know that lmao)

oh my god HI

i know this isn't what u asked but like first off real quick lemme slide this link over... i have a iorveth playlist on spotify (it's meant to be listened on shuffle i know the order i added them is wack)

but uhh ok if i had to pick 5 (also in no particular order)

"Arsonist's Lullabye" - Hozier

"Wretches and Kings" - Linkin Park (i know its linkin park but if you look at the LYRICS)

"Thank You For the Venom" - My Chemical Romance (but i cant not also mention DESTROYA and our lady of sorrows)

"Daniel in the Den" - Bastille

"Satellite" - Rise Against

it PAINS ME to only pick five emblematic ones but i tried lskdghldksjf

(also bonus under the cut some pertinent lyrics. i could do this w the whole playlist and also write paragraphs & more but i am restraining myself)

This is a life that you can't deny us now

(Rise Against) self explanatory, i think, very scoia'tael

When I was a man I thought it ended When I knew love's perfect ache But my peace has always depended On all the ashes in my wake

All you have is your fire And the place you need to reach Don't you ever tame your demons But always keep 'em on a leash

(Hozier) I think Iorveth struggles a lot with feeling like he's incapable of sitting down and being happy (and this lyric plays into how i think his relationship w Cedric went/ended), and the chorus is just very reminiscent of how alone he's always been even among his supposed peers, and also just the strength and power of his character

To save face, how low can you go? Talk a lotta game, but yet you don't know Static on the wind, makes us all say whoa The people up top push the people down low Get down, and obey every word Steady, get in line if you haven't yet heard Wanna take what I got, don't be absurd Don't fight the power, nobody gets hurt

Hear us now, clear and tall Wretches and kings, we come for you

(Linkin Park) I think this is a bit of pointed anger at Francesca Findabair (shakes fist) for acquiescing and betraying her own kind as if that will help any elves besides the few who actually got to dol blathanna, also the "wretches and kings" is reminiscent of "king or beggar, one dh'oine less" (also listen to the speech at the beginning and end of the song. it fucks)

I wouldn't front the scene if you paid me

Black is the kiss, the touch of the serpent sun It ain't the mark or the scar that makes you one

You're running after something That you'll never kill If this is what you want Then fire at will

You want to follow something Give me a better cause to lead Just give me what I need Give me a reason to believe

(My Chemical Romance) this goes w MY interpretation of him as someone who wasn't actually gradually made ready for being the face of a movement and instead having it sprung on him by his circumstance (of being the last surviving vrihedd officer), and his own conflicted feelings of nothing getting better while also refusing to give up or do anything else (also it literally says "serpent sun," nilfgaard anyone?)

And you thought the lions were bad Well they tried to kill my brothers And for every king that died Oh they would crown another But it's harder than you think Telling dreams from one another

Oh to see What it means to be free Of the shadows and the dreams That you claim to see

And felled in the night By the ones you think you love They will come for you

(Bastille) the beginning one is I think more self explanatory, and "telling dreams from one another" i think can be applied to all the people who have "allied with" and "helped" the scoia'tael only to really be working for their own gain (like nilfgaard, or even arguably saskia)

the "felled in the night / by the ones you think you love" to ME is more about Francesca Findabair (muffled yelling) and her decision to forsake the Scoia'tael completely from Dol Blathanna

Because we won't back down, we won't run and hide Yeah, 'cause these are the things that we can't deny I'm passing over you like a satellite, so catch me if I fall That's why we stick to your game plans and party lines But at night we're conspiring by candlelight We are the orphans of the American Dream, so Shine a light on me

This is a life that you can't deny us now

(Rise Against)

as u can see i have many thoughts about him all the time and this isn't even all of it for this set of songs but anyway :3

[burninlovebutler]

I posted 1,801 times in 2022

That's 1,801 more posts than 2021!

441 posts created (24%)

1,360 posts reblogged (76%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@karamelcoveredolicity

@troubleinapinksuit

@bisexualwvtson

@loving-elvis

@lindszeppelin

I tagged 1,395 of my posts in 2022

Only 23% of my posts had no tags

#austin butler - 397 posts

#elvis - 317 posts

#elvis presley - 217 posts

#austin butler elvis - 201 posts

#elvis movie - 179 posts

#elvis 2022 - 120 posts

#austin butler fanfic - 94 posts

#elvis baz luhrmann - 93 posts

#austin!elvis - 75 posts

#mel’s asks - 73 posts

Longest Tag: 106 characters

#as someone who’s in social media marketing it’s actually hilarious that tumblr is my favorite platform lol

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

happy veteran’s day mr. presley 🫡

See the full post

387 notes - Posted November 11, 2022

#4

the hand thing

See the full post

571 notes - Posted November 8, 2022

#3

the fact that austin has previously talked about how some of elvis’ mannerisms were inherently sexual makes me believe that this motion was no accident and that he was in fact ….. thinking about it sexually

(gif cred: my resident tormentor @karamelcoveredolicity )

611 notes - Posted November 14, 2022

#2

Just an Intern

pairing: austin x fem!reader

warnings: ANGST, moody arrogant asshole!austin, dom!austin, slow burn ofc (lots of back&forth, sorry), teasing/tension, fingering, bondage, degradation (+ names), unprotected p in v, cream pie, short time skips, inaccurate depictions of a movie set lol, 18+, minors dni

word count: 9.9k😅

summary: you’ve somehow landed an apprentice position to a famous hollywood makeup artist on set of The Bikeriders - you arrive late to work one day to find your mentor is nowhere to be found, you’re left on your own. If it can’t get any worse, a new actor on set soon becomes your worst enemy

disclaimer: this my FIRST attempt at a reader fic (unlike my ongoing main fic Forever Winter which is 1st person) so be nice pls! IM V NERVOUS ABOUT POSTING THIS BC ITS SOMEHOW MORE NERVE RACKING THAN MY 23+ CHP LONG SERIES LOL IDK IDK BE NICE THNX

You winced when you hear the wheels of your 10 year old beat up Voltzwagon Bug screech over gravel. It was only your 3rd week on set as the head makeup artist’s apprentice. You’d really only gotten this (rather low) paying gig through a family member who works in the industry. That all being said, you were running about 20 minutes late since you had gotten lost yet again.

With a hasty grab of your plastic makeup kit, you ran to the trailers ready to apologize profusely to Carol who already seemed to hate you. Much to your surprise you sped into an empty trailer.

“Fuck,” You muttered and peak your head out attempting to spot any sign of your boss.

A man from prop team passed the door, he was about your age and you’d become cordial – not friendly, but cordial.

“Hey!” You projected your whisper to catch him. He tugged his headset visibly irritated and gave you an eyebrow that said, ‘get on with it’.

“Do you know where Carol is?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t seen her. I think someone say she’s sick, probably Covid or something.” He replied casually with a shrug.

“What! What am I supposed to do!” Still whisper yelling even though he was speaking at normal volume.

He shrugged, “Guess you’re on your own.”

“Fuck.” Pushing a stray hair from your now sweating forehead.

He gave a grin that normally came with a warning, “Good luck, we got one of the main guys on set today.”

“What? Who?” God as if this couldn’t get any worse.

“You’ll see, we’re mainly shooting him today. So, you’ll be out there, lots of fighting scenes.” And with that he paced quickly away to wherever he was rushing to in the first place.

“Oh god.” You flipped to be flush against the side of the opening as if it would hide you.

In the little time on set of ‘Bikeriders’, you’d already been able to identify who to avoid and who was safe. Between the actors and the crew there were such a mix of personalities. The actors were especially hard since you could never tell what was their character and what wasn’t.

You and Carol had spent most of the time with Tom Hardy, who looked scary but was actually a big teddy bear. He had even come up with some nicknames for you, mainly ‘puppy’ or ‘shadow’. Since you followed Carol around like a lost puppy and basically became her perpetual shadow. Both were a little odd, especially ‘puppy’, but whatever it was better than most other things you’d been called.

An abrupt knock at the metal door ripped you from your panicked thoughts, a lanky shaggy haired blonde bolstered through the trailer and plopped himself in front of the large lit mirror. He was already in costume, leather jacket, dirty jeans, boots. The whirlwind of the day had rendered you paralyzed against the wall which you had forgotten reflected directly into the mirror.

“Well, are ya gonna get started or what?” A deep raspy voice came from the man, not even turning to look at you, just at the reflection.

“Oh-Oh yeah, sorry.” Immediately peeling from the wall and fumbling to set up your small kit on the vanity.

Just the air of his presence told you that he would be one to avoid.

You began plucking through various bottles of fake blood and latex, before realizing just how unprepared you were to do this alone. The feeling of his eyes boring into you only made the anxiety worse.

“Do you know what scene we’re doing?” He asked condescendingly, obviously picking up on your nervousness.

With a giant bottle of thick red liquid in hand, you turned to him wide eyed, “I – um, well, I-“

“You gonna spit it out or what?” Snapping his fingers before you were even able to form a coherent sentence.

See the full post

613 notes - Posted November 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

my bf/friends: don’t come here with that elvis shit

me comin’ with that elvis shit:

757 notes - Posted October 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[cooperanderscn]

↪ ranking every warblers performance (1/22)

22nd place: Candles (2x16)

[hollyhomburg]

Before I Leave You (Pt.2)

(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)

*SNEAK PEAK*

Summary: On the worst days, Yoongi is judge, jury, and executioner. But he judges you and finds you worthy of protecting (and loving too). 

Tags: Dead bodies, blood, murder/crime themes, guilt, childhood trauma, drugs (cocaine, heroine), domestic abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, controlling behavior, implications of omega mistreatment/discrimination, anorexia, blood, graphic depictions of violence, manipulation, talking behind someone's back, morally gray Yoongi, 

W/c: 14.5k

A/N: Honestly this took me way too long to write and edit. I can’t tell if this is my favorite depiction i’ve ever written of falling in love or if I hate it. But yeah- i didn’t want to sit on it for much longer. This part takes place chronologically before the last part, and documents what happened while yoongi was away from the rest of his pack. 

Previous part — Masterlist

-----------------------

CHAPTER 2: THE DON

“She’s just an omega- you know how they are- they need a firm hand to keep them in their place.” Yoongi scoffs thinking of his omegas. Anyone who even dared to think that Seokjin and Jungkook did not wear the pants in their pack had another thing coming to them. 

He watches his older brother cut another line of cocaine. 

The amount of drugs in this Geumjae’s study cost enough to feed a small family for a year. But Yoongi knows better than to partake. He pretends to take a Bump and taps it off when Geumjae tips back a shot."Omegas aren't even fucking worth it if you ask me, brother, you're supposed to give half of yourself away, and for fucking what? A glorified bed warmer?"

Yoongi boils and stays silent, letting Geumjae get himself wasted on drugs and alcohol. He can't tell what distresses him more Geumjae has such little regard for life that he can't recognize that omegas are fucking people- or that he's so freely sharing this with him. 

He knows he’s toeing the line. More pushing might hurt you more, if he provoked aggression from his brother- it would no doubt come back to bite you. Yoongi can’t imagine wanting to hurt someone he loves or speaking with the same callousness that Geumjae speaks. “Don’t you love her?”

Geumjae laughs at Yoongi’s childish question “Oh little brother, don’t you know that love makes you stupid?”

His brother has it all wrong but Yoongi’s powerless to say it. Those threats from the funeral linger. And it's not only your life and Yoongi’s at stake here but the rest of his pack. He has to fool Geumjae into thinking he is on his side. 

“Work with me here- what will the other omegas in the pack think of you if they find out what kind of shit you pull? And they’ll take their concerns straight to their alphas and say you’re unfit to lead. You know I have to listen to the bulk of them regardless of what you want.”

If he can’t appeal to Geumjae’s humanity- he can appeal to Geumjae’s better interest and common sense. His image in the family is arguably the most important thing in geumjae’s mind, and Yoongi can tell by the way that Geumjae stiffens when he says the words that it’s stuck.

Geumjae might have been trained in torture, but Yoongi was trained in manipulation. And he take the bait- hook, line, and sinker. 

After that, he has the good sense to act softer with you in front of the rest of the family at the very least. But he fears he might have done more bad than good when he sees the way you stiffen and fail to meet his eyes more consistently as the days go on. You’re sensitive about eye contact, Yoongi gets it. you don’t have as much control over your facial expression as the rest of these robotic mobsters.  

Group dinners are routine, and while Yoongi could find an excuse to see you during the day, he’s also often pulled in 50 different directions by the expectations of his family.

He finds himself reading for dinner in a hurry most nights, eager or maybe a little panicked to check in with you. You never request his presence, you never text (though he made sure you have his number just in case), and the family dinners are tense between the two of you.

You maintain none of the easy friendship you’d started that day in the rain or that closeness. You avoid him like the plague at dinner, and It’s like that day in the rain never happened. 

Geumjae sticks to your side like glue too. A hand that probably looks protective to anyone else but looks possessive to Yoongi slung around your waist. Yoongi sees the harshness and pain in your body when Geumjae’s hand tightens digging into the swell of your hip. You’re soft in the way that most omegas are a little soft- and it’s as expected as it is distracting.

He manages to corner you during one of the dinners. you're not alone- and you can hear the grannies and omegas prattling to each other in the kitchen. the alphas are outside enjoying a cigar and investigating one of the new rolls royces that one of yoongi’s uncles recently purchased. 

The corset portion of your dress making your chest soft looking, plump and inviting if yoongi was the kind of man to get distracted by something like that. As it is- all he notices is how it’s making your chest heave. Breath uneven, he thinks he can hear the boning in the dress creek. It’s a designer thing, but it looks way too tight on you. he can tell how uncomfortable you are. 

“Are you okay?” he asks, though it's clear you’re not, you dont reply, looking down and away worried. Hand hovering over your stomach, “I won’t get mad whatever it is.”

You bite your lower lip. hand catching yourself on a side table before you teater over, dizzy. Yoongi grabs you before you fall. “He did my corset too tight, it’s hurting my ribs. I feel like im going to pass out.” Yoongi quickly looks around, but there is no one around in the part of the house right now, the garden is a backdrop, speckled with lights. you’re alone. 

Yoongi turns you around quickly, setting his champagne to the side and grabbing yours out of your hand. He undoes the top knot of the dress and you inhale gratefully as he tugs at the strings looser, fingers touching your bare skin. “Is that better?” he has to be quick. This isn’t exactly scandalous- but- its not quite proper. 

You inhale deep and grateful. “So much better, thank you.” you barely have a second to both straighten up, Yoongi's fingers pulling the bow back together. grabbing your champagne and sipping at it a careful distance away from Yoongi. looking for all intents and purposes like you’ve been swathed in uncomfortable silence the entire time they were gone. The picture of propriety as Geumjae and a few other alphas return in a puff of rich smoke. 

“Don’t mention it.” Yoongi says it softly so that only you can hear it.

More than once. Geumjae catches him staring at you during the dinner. you look so much more comfortable now that it’s been loosened. Your hand hovering in front of your dress to conceal your cleavage under the guise of fiddling with your necklace. During those moments, Geumjae rewards Yoongi’s wandering gaze with bold touches. A hand sliding from waist to hip and your sudden straightening in pain. 

Geumjae’s harsh fingers digging into a bad bruise on your hip. you’re so trained, you barely flinch when he does it. And still- Yoongi’s hands tighten in his slacks. Gritting his teeth and biting the inside of his cheek to stop himself from making a scene and reaching across the table to stop Geumjae from hurting you.

Many of the other members of the family notice Geumjae’s sudden dogmatic approach to your presence in his life. Confirming what Yoongi suspects. That he’d never given you too much attention at these family meals before Yoongi came with his wandering eyes. He should do better be better not to put you in harm's way.

Yoongi keeps his eyes firmly trained on his plate full of spiced soft-shelled crab as one of the grannies comments on how sweet the two of you seem. Yoongi wants to gag. “You know how new love is. I feel like we’ll be in the honeymoon phase forever. I want her all to myself so bad I think she’s worried I’ll chain her to my bed” he says- feigning drunkenness. You laugh too- trying to play it off but Yoongi can see your barely concealed fear.

Staying silent and letting your husband hurt you is the hardest thing that yoongi’s ever had to do. But there are many more battles, fights and skirmishes to win in this war. Yoongi has to be patient.

He’s a poised snake, ready to strike at the perfect moment.  

COMING WEDNESDAY APRIL 21 @ 6PM EST

[velveticamoon]

AOT : HOLIDAY HEADCANONS

these totally weren’t supposed to go up yesterday ahaha- 

P.S: this is my first writing post!! i thought it would be an easier transition by writing hc’s, and i got my friend saniya (@bokesaniyaboke) to help me out with writing them, so i hope y’all enjoy :) (enjoy our 2 am chaos-)

i have more writing planned for the future too, and decided that i’ll be writing for: 

- attack on titan

- bungou stray dogs 

- free!

- fugou keiji: balance unlimited. 

don’t be shy to send in your requests, i’m more than happy to do them ;) 

anyways, i hope you guys enjoy, let me know if you want more! and to those of you that celebrated, hope you had a merry Christmas :) 

LEVI

Decorating the house with him!! Except he’d be trying to get out of doing it at first lol

He’d be pissed about the mess that would come with decorating the house 

But if you keep pestering him enough he’ll eventually give in lol 

He’d be very meticulous about which decorations go where, but you’re just gonna have to put up with that 

Pls don’t complain too much, he really wouldn’t be doing it with anyone else 

(in the words of saniya: “ur the only exception be happy about that)

Idk why but i feel like he’d be really good at hanging up the lights?? With the placement and whatnot? 

He probably has a very keen aesthetic eye i feel like (saniya: “pinterest but as a person vibes”)  

At the end of it, while y’all are sitting on the couch drinking some tea, he quietly mumbles how he likes the work you two did 

But you felt like teasing him and he got all huffy and said it louder, obviously calling you a brat right after cuz why wouldn’t he 

EREN 

Ask him to make gingerbread houses!! pls he’d be so excited about it 

He’d even go to the store himself and get all the supplies on his way home and you both wouldn’t waste a minute to start a baby

Look he’d start getting competitive (pls we all know how he is) and would turn it into a competition so be prepared for that lol 

But when his gingerbread house falls over he starts getting angry

Proceeds to drive to the company’s factory to break it down in his titan form (there’s no stopping him now) 

Gets Armin to join him and they smash the houses in their titan forms together LMFAOFNDND PLEASE IM WHEEZING- 

But for real, he’d probably get pouty, and turn into a whiny baby

Don’t call him out on it though he’ll just get even worse lol  

Shower him with kisses right after and he’ll be blushy but he’s fine dw about it 

He’ll get over himself eventually and then proceed to ask with a boyish grin on his face if you wanna give up and just eat the houses as they are 

Y’all end up with stomach aches but it’s fine he makes it a little more bearable :))

MIKASA 

Making ornaments (pls it’d be so cutenjdjn)

Saniya: “she would stab me with an ornament and i’d say thank you” 

Comfortable silence with a little chatter here and there

Every now and then she rests her head on your shoulder (softie) 

Just like Armin, getting super flustered and blushy when you compliment her 

She helps hang the ornaments onto the tree and the tree turns out to look so pretty

Would take your hand and sit the two of you on the couch and just admire the tree in silence 

It’s so comforting you slowly feel like you’re about to fall asleep 

Make her some hot chocolate pls all she really wants is to cherish this atmosphere the two of you have created, all huddled up on the couch together 

She’d totally fall asleep cause the girl’s always working in overdrive pls does she even sleep-

Make sure she’s warm alright?? If u don’t i’ll stab you ;)

JEAN 

Watches hallmark movies with you, only to make fun of them (romance at it’s finest amirite) 

Popcorn fights while watching them 

Will get mad when you see a horse and say “look it’s you horse face” 

He says the dumbest pick up lines during the movie as an attempt to impress you 

“hey y/n, can i have your picture so i can show santa what i want for christmas?” 

“jean, we’re literally dating-” 

Something romantic will happen in the movie and Jean will continuously ask you to recreate that scene. “y/n can we-“ “if your about to ask me if you can spin me whilst ice skating, then no” “aw :(“ 

Oh to be spun by jean while ice skating- but that’s not the point 

Wrap him up in a blanket while watching the movies, he’ll melt 

Call him out on it and he’ll turn into ereh 2.0 (aka another whiny baby) 

Jkjk but he’ll definitely try to deny it cuz u know he’s a “biG oL maNLy maN” but he’s a softie ;)

ARMIN 

Making holiday cards with him 

When you bring up the idea his face lights up instantly it’s the cutest thing omg

I can see him bringing his own supplies to help with getting started

Envelopes, letter paper, markers. Hell, he’ll show up with glitter markers (those things are god-tier istg-)

he gets super flustered and red when you compliment his card

SUCH A CREATIVE BOI

If you mess up on your card he’s totally gonna be there to cheer you up!!

“Hey don’t worry, you can just start on a new one :D”

He probably won’t ask but he lowkey wants the card you messed up on cuz he thinks it’s cute

Makes cards for everyone and then takes you with him to deliver them

Would be really shy at the post office cuz he’s never done this before 

*cue you falling even more head over heels for him because he’s just so?? endearing?? it’s insane??*

Eventually, he gets the hang of it and ends up having a really fun time :D

Let him be the one to place the stamps on the envelopes, it’s ~therapeutic~ for him 

Overall, he’s probably the best person if you wanna use this as a healing opportunity tbh, the entire day is just filled with the calmest atmosphere one could wish for, and the smiles never leave your faces, even after you’ve finished

CONNIE 

Snowball fights w/ our resident baldy jKJKJK

Pls you wouldn’t even plan for it to happen 

It just kinda,, did,, 

Y’all we’re walking through the park, on your way back from lunch or something 

But you decided to make a pit-stop at the park cuz you saw an ice cream truck (do y’all know how rare those are in winter?? I’d be running to get to it pls i have no self-control) 

Anyways, other ppl had the same idea, so now y’all were standing in line waiting 

As he was looking around, his eyes landed on some other kids throwing snowballs at each other, and ideas started forming in his head uh oh-

And there just so happened to be a pile of snow right next to his feet- 

Y’all can probably guess what happened- 

“Hey y/n” “yeah-?” *throws it right at your face* 

And so the war begins 

Two words: S N O W  F O R T S. pls ppl would be concerned as they walked by and saw y’all just trying to fucking PUMMEL each other (sounds like fun tho i wanna do it now :( haven’t done it in years pls-) 

But you have to stop it before one of you gets hypothermia considering how long y’all have been going at it 

Anyways, he’ll buy you a hot chocolate to make up for making you frozen to the bone dw :)

SASHA 

Popcorn and cranberry garland 

Look away for one second and the popcorn is gone but you don’t really mind

Make sure to bring a second batch of the popcorn because the first one WILL be gone 

(maybe even a third stashed away-)

She’s really excited about it tho!! But didn’t expect it to take so long omg 

I imagine her to be really clumsy while making them, so pull a move straight out of a cheesy romance movie and help her out while holding her hands ;) 

She probably won’t notice what’s going on for a good minute tho 

Pls be patient she’s doing her best 😔🤚🏻

But once she does she has the cutest blush on her face pls (i just love her a lot can y’all tell-) 

She’ll eventually get the hang of it and you both make really pretty garlands!!

She suggests hanging it up in the bathroom as a snack pls-

HANJI 

Caroling with them omfg- 

It’s gonna be chaotic

The neighbors hate y’all but its fine 

Look man if ur like me and can’t handle people being loud all the time bring earplugs cuz it’s gonna get L O U D

But if you tell them that their screeching is giving you a headache they’ll absolutely tone it down!!

But don’t be surprised when they inevitably forget about that-

But if you're more energetic than I am then have at it ;) 

Pls me and my lazy ass could never handle that- 

Anyways when y’all reach the houses where they refuse to open the door?? Hanji’s breaking that shit down and hollering into their house at the top of their lungs

Ur literally gonna have to drag them away before someone calls the cops 

Moblit pls get over here and collect them I’m begging u dude-

Don’t be surprised if y’all spend the night in jail that’s just how it’s gonna be oops 

[poptod]

The Breeding Kings pt. 2, (Ahkmenrah x Reader)

Description: Creeping closer.

Notes: can you tell how much im geeking out on the pyramid section of this. can you. now i want you to guess how long i researched it for a scene that was only supposed to be a few paragraphs and some dialogue. WC: 8.9k (sorry)

+

The way back to your house was a slow crawl, but a necessary evil. After the incident in which your clothes were ruined, Ahkmen offered to clean your clothes for you, a task you knew little about and usually didn't have to do in the first place. You accepted, though there was an issue––you didn't own any other clothes.

Rushlights in your tiny bedroom dimly reflected off the hanging silks and shawls, bathing the room and your skin in deep purples and reds darkened by both the evening and the smoke of incense.

Cloth rustled in the other room, making your shoulders seize up. The funny little Egyptian man who had taken up most of your evening with laughter was not someone you could fully trust, but few were, and you could still enjoy his companionship for the remaining minutes of the evening. He would leave soon––with your clothes––and you would not be able to leave your home until he returned with them. Nudity was fine in Egypt, but you weren't Egyptian. It was an uncommon practice to you.

You could physically feel your face flush with embarrassment, your chest tightening when he said your name in a soft voice. Unable to respond, you continued to strip yourself of the muddy garments, setting them carefully in a pile on a part of the floor that didn't have any carpet.

"Yogi?" He asked again. You whipped around to the curtain separating you from him, but found it vacant as always.

"Give me time," you said, your voice trembling slightly as you attempted to pull your pants off your hopping feet. "Taking off mud is hard."

"Oh, I know," he said, suddenly much closer to you, but still not breaching the curtain. "I'm a little less drunk right now so I wanted to try and pronounce your name, so... what was it again? Sorry."

"It is okay," you chuckled. "My name is Yogasundari.”

"Ah, right. Yogatsundera?"

"Yoga-soon-dahry."

"Yogasundari?"

"There you go," you said with a smile, happy to hear your full name from someone else after a long while of dealing with a horrid nickname.

With that, you pulled off the last of your clothes, removing the jewelry that had belonged to your family. Those you placed on your desk, but the clothes you folded best you could before timidly approaching the curtain leading to the funny Egyptian man. You couldn't quite remember his name, making your next actions all the more embarrassing, reaching forward to pull away the fabric.

"I finish this," you said, poking your head out, your extended hand beneath you.

Ahk moved to grab the pile, but stopped when he noticed your silhouette, now clear against the rushlight behind you. His breathing halted, caught in his chest. When he met your eye, he remembered himself, keeping his gaze above your shoulders as he took the clothes.

"You do return quick, yes?" You asked pointedly.

"I'll be back here tomorrow."

"Good. I have a work in the morning."

He held the clothes away from his body, but a giddiness ran through him that brought him to a quiet carelessness. His feet worked faster, an intrinsic smile on his face, and his home, the palace, fast approaching.

The whole of the evening accompanied him as he walked. In less than 12 hours he'd gotten the necklace back, 'beat' Panya in a drinking contest, flirted (albeit drunkenly) with an incredibly pretty brewer, and possibly even made friends with someone with entirely different life experiences from himself. The only drawback was that you were clearly not a fan of the royal family despite your liking of Egypt.

What had been his cover name?

Ak'anpu, if he recalled correctly through his drunken haze of a night. His name, and then Anubis', as Piye had called him.

Oh, Piye's gonna fucking love this, he thought as a grin spread across his face, his speed hastening as he approached the palace steps.

By morning the servants had finished washing your clothes, leaving them to hang in the laundry room till they were picked up. Ahkmen didn't notice it, as he was awakened by his servant Naguib, and his first waking thoughts were of unpleasantries against the bright morning sun.

Naguib pulled open the drapes shielding Ahk's room from the outside, leaving the long, intricate arches to cast the sun's glow directly onto Ahkmen's bed. He groaned, flipping over onto his stomach as he twisted in his sheets.

"Good morning, my Prince. You have school at Osiris' temple today, but nothing else. The Pharaoh instructed me to tell you that he is having dinner with the emissaries from Ebla when they arrive within the week. He wants you to attend," Naguib said as he opened Ahkmen's closet, pulling out the Prince's usual daily clothes.

"Is it optional?"

"Ask your father."

Once Ahkmen was safe and back in his clothes, he ran down to the laundry rooms, fetching your clothes and stopping by the kitchens for a tiger roll. He barely stopped to talk to any of the servants, moving on his way at a fast pace that sent him skipping down the stone pathways of Memphis. Ahkmen wasn't small by any means, but he had a way of moving about crowds, slinking through groups and keeping quick on his feet.

Piye managed to find him a couple turns before the temple, grabbing the crook of his arm and interrupting the Prince's stride.

"Ahk," they said as they turned him round.

"Piye!"

"How did it go last night?" They asked, picking back up into a walk.

"Wonderful. I think I remember most of it, too! I got my mother's necklace back, so I'll be gifting her that this evening, and I got to acquaint myself with that friend of yours, Yogi," he said with an animated expression, bright eyes and all smiles. "They're quite interesting."

"I see you have their clothes, too," Piye said, their eyes falling to the folded cloth in Ahkmen's hands. "What the hell did you two do last night?"

"Oh. Oh, no, I – they slipped in the mud and they don't really have access to good cleaning materials, and since it was technically my fault, I offered to have them cleaned," he explained.

"Awful nice of you."

"It's only right."

With help from his friend, Ahkmen made it over the boxes marking the entrance to your home without dirtying your clothes. Piye followed soon after, and the both of them entered your little tent, searching for a hard surface to knock on.

"Yogasundari?" Ahkmen called, feeling his face flush as he prayed he pronounced it right. "I've got your clothes."

"You have my cloths??" You said from behind one of the walls that Ahkmen remembered seeing you through.

"Right here," he said, reaching through the curtain to hand you the stack.

Weight was lifted off his hand and he withdrew, waiting a moment as you eagerly dressed yourself.

"Thank you many times!" You said, appearing with a wide smile that crinkled the flushed skin of your cheeks.

"Of course. We have to go now. I'll stop by soon!" He said as he turned to leave.

"Thank you," you said with a bow.

This time, he and Piye entered the temple through the correct door, walking through the long courtyard and observing the workers. They had been working on the garden for a while now, planting rows of seeds every day that would be fertilized with water, the Nile's silt, and of course, feces at times. At least the flowers everywhere blocked out the scent.

In the trees that towered above even the temple, birds cawed and sung at one another, pecking at the dates that fell on unfortunate people's heads. Piye managed to miss most of them, but Ahkmen was assaulted by one landing on his shoulder.

"Come now, can't be late two days in a row," Piye said, rushing Ahkmen along as the bell began to toll.

"And in the beginning of the year," Ahkmen added shakily as he began to run, coerced by Piye's long strides.

The two burst through the vacant doorframe before the eighth note, rushing to sit on the floor with the other two students. The priest entered moments later, eyeing both of them suspiciously, but remaining silent on the subject. Ahkmen let out a breath he didn't know he was hiding, reaching for the limestone tablets the class would be practicing on today.

Several minutes in he was already staring out the open door, watching the birds that pecked on the dried fruits littering the garden, fallen from the tops of trees and the undergrowth of bushes. However, it wasn't until several hours in that he caught sight of something that actually earned his attention.

You were near unrecognizable without your striking clothes, without the dim lighting he had already gotten so used to seeing you in. Reds, golds, and purples were replaced with the common warm white of servant skirts, allowing him to see the whole of your stomach and chest, as well as your legs that no longer hid within pants. Ahkmen hardly understood your insistence on wearing such warm clothes in Egyptian weather, and his ideas on the matter were only enforced when he felt blood rushing to his cheeks in a fiery blush.

For a long while you didn't notice him, and since consequences weren't part of the equation, Ahkmen stared free of guilt. You were positioned on your knees, rags and sponges in hand as you scrubbed the perfect marble floor of the outer temple halls. His jaw began to fall open, his eyes enraptured in the sunlight that shone off your dark skin, and was only dragged away by Piye manually shutting his mouth.

"Stop drooling. They won't come over just to clean your spit off the floor," Piye whispered in his ear as the priest's backs were turned.

"What?" Ahk whispered back, but went silent as his teachers turned back to the class.

"Now, what are the ways our Pharaoh's names written and how does the type of name change with the way it's written?"

"The Horus name is written in the box with the falcon on the edge?" One of the younger boys asked, his hand raised hesitantly in the air.

"No," said the priest with a tut.

An hour or so later he and his classmates were released for the midday break, rushing out of the enclosed classroom and into the long, stretching gardens of the temple's courtyard. Though the days were growing steadily cooler, flowers still bloomed with abandon in their ponds and bushes.

Piye began to part from Ahk as they approached the kitchens, causing Ahkmen to halt and grab their arm.

"Where are you going?"

"My father wants me to study runes in bones and teeth, so... I won't be back for the rest of the day. Tonight, though, I might have something planned for us," they said, shaking off his grip with a teasing wink.

Ahkmen watched as they jogged out of the temple, disappearing down the more common streets of Memphis. He frowned. Most of the other students his age were either too scared of him or didn't like him based purely off his status and his father's rule. It was things like that that had Ahk swearing up and down he would not be like his father––he would not be the reason his children couldn't make friends.

After gathering more food than he actually needed, he snuck out of the kitchens, speed-walking around as his eyes searched for the familiar stature of his new 'friend,' if he could call you that. How perfect it was that you worked here as well, and that he discovered that fact on a day of Piye's absence.

He searched the entirety of the temple's courtyard, classrooms, and worker rooms and couldn't find you. There was much of the temple left––about half unexplored––but those areas were blocked off. It was then he recalled you weren't from Memphis, and you might not understand the rules of priest-ly areas and citizen areas. He paused mid step, dread dropping his heart into his feet. Priests and oracles were not kind to those who disobeyed their direct rules of the holy.

Even with his royal status, he had to adhere to the same rules when it came to Gods. Sometimes even the Pharaoh was given such commands. But respect had never looked his way, and his desire to see you overcame his reluctance, stewing ideas in his head.

For a good few minutes he waited outside the entrance to the God's gardens, watching to see if anyone would try to stop him. In that time he pretended to eat, and after earning no strange looks, he ducked into the long hallway that would soon lead to the home of Osiris. Today, the massive oak doors were shut tight.

On either side of the hallway were gardens––to his left, a water garden, rife with lotus and reeds. To his right, a garden of date trees, lentils, lettuce, grapes, and pomegranates. The tall arches allowed him to easily see in, and the absence of a roof had sunlight raining down on the golden and green plants. What little light made it through the arches fell on his tanned skin, warming up the cool temple air, that had in times left him shivering.

Unfortunately, you weren't in either garden. He checked for a while, too, worried that he might've overlooked you behind tall plants or thick brush, but to no avail. All that remained was Osiris' home––the inner temple.

He had been in there before––rather recently, as well––but that did not mean he didn't fear it. He was quite clearly not where he was supposed to be, and his break wouldn't last much longer, as he'd spent much of the time making sure he wouldn't be caught. However, if he didn't find you, then it would be for nothing, and with that thought he continued forward.

To his surprise, when he just barely cracked open the doors, no one was inside. Not even the High Priest. The towering statue of Osiris stared blankly forward, the softest of smiles pulling at his perfect lips. Entirely still and cold.

He shut the doors slowly as he left, returning down the thin hallway with a furrowed brow. Perhaps you had left?

As he made to reenter the hall of gardens, a quiet hum reached his ears. He perked up almost immediately, eyes widening as he turned, staring at the temple's door as though it had spoke. He didn't dare move, but the song continued.

With steps of the utmost carefulness, he returned down the hall to the door. Pressing his ear against the wood, he heard nothing, and stood with yet another frown.

The voice had to be coming from somewhere. Further towards the courtyard it grew quieter, so it originated from within the holy ground, but where?

Ahkmen closed his eyes, breathing deeply as he listened attentively to the hum. Centering in on it, he began to follow, paying close attention to the volume. He reached with his hands as he walked blind, and came to a doorway he had never seen before when he opened his eyes. It was barely more than a crack in the meticulously painted wall, but large enough for a person to walk through. How he'd never noticed it before escaped him.

Echoes filled the massive room, entirely unlit with a stone roof above it. Ahkmen had to take a moment to let his eyes adjust, but when they did, he jumped back.

The room had to be larger than the whole of the courtyard, with walls that stretched too far to see the end of them. Pillars of a massive size filled the room, positioned with a graphed precision revered by other nations, each one too large for even Piye to wrap their arms around. And without fail, every single one of them was painted in hieroglyphs small as his fingernails paired to scenes of gory victory.

Music reverberated in his bones, painting the empty air that now thrummed with a thousand voices singing one after the other, yet still faint enough for Ahkmen to be unable to make out the words.

Without being able to track the volume of the humming, finding you would be much harder. This was, undoubtedly, you––your voice, speaking in words you knew well instead of the jargon of Egyptian. He tried his best, and in the end he found you scrubbing the floor mindlessly, staring up at the paintings above you as you murmured songs to yourself.

Hunger of cannibals...

those black-eyed pigs.

"Yogasundari?" Ahkmen said quietly from behind, hoping he wouldn't startle you.

You did jump a little, but you turned around with expectant, not fearful, eyes. Upon recognizing him, you smiled.

"Aganu!"

He thought to correct you, but realized it meant little considering it wasn't his real name anyway.

"Good to see you, as well," he chuckled. "What are you doing in here?"

"They ask me to clean, I clean, and it is quiet, this room. I like it here," you said, leaning back on your haunches as you returned to staring at the high pillar in front of you.

"They let you in here?"

"It is not hard to get in. You got in."

"No, I mean –" he took a moment to think of his words, "– they usually have one of the priests clean the holy places. They let a citizen clean in here?"

You paused, glancing away. "I did not ask," you admitted.

Ahkmen's eyes widened, reaching for you and pulling you to your feet.

"Then we need to get out of here before they punish both of us," he said, not pausing to let you gather your cleaning things before pulling you along.

"My cleans!"

He didn't stop running till he found the crack of an entrance, sneaking himself and you through to the slightly-less-illegal area of the holy gardens. Bright sunlight blinded him, and he squinted his eyes, shying away from the sudden stimulation. He kept the both of you moving though, till you reached the entrance of the hallway to the courtyard.

"You cannot go in such places," he said once he felt as though he had the peace of mind to address your stupidity. "I don't know what you've been taught, but when a priest tells you to do something, you do it. No questions asked."

"That is not a good thing," you said, frowning.

"It doesn't matter if it's good or bad. That's just how it is, and you and I are powerless to stop that. It's easiest to just listen," he said, growing softer as he noted your confusion.

"I..." you trailed off without ever having started.

"I'm sorry. I wish it could be different," he murmured, tucking stray hairs behind your ear.

"Why make all that beautiful if no one can see it?"

"It's for the Gods."

"I saw no Gods in that."

Ahkmen sighed.

"Just – do you understand me?" He asked, resting his hands on your shoulders to force you to look him in the eye.

"I think so," you said quietly.

"Thank you," he said in a rush of relief. "What were you singing in there?"

"A song," you said with a shrug, eyes falling to the ground. "My mother had sing to me. And.. one I heard, in the market."

"You have a very nice voice," he said, carefully watching for your reaction.

"Yes, she was nice," you nodded.

"That's not... never-mind. Here, I brought some food for you," he said as he handed you one of the sweetbreads.

Instantly your face lit up, a toothy grin matching your bright eyes.

"Thank you!" You said, taking and eagerly biting into it. "You are very good."

He chuckled, mumbling a thank-you through his own small smile.

"You know, you didn't tell me you work here. I go to school here," he said, pointing behind his shoulder to the classroom he would soon be returning to.

"That is funny," you said through a mouthful of food.

Your hunger reminded him of his own, and he returned to his own loaf.

"I'm glad you're here. Usually I only talk to Piye, and they can get rather busy sometimes. Do you come every day?"

"Most days. There are days they tell me not to work, no one is here but priests. But I am told to leave at a 'midday'. So I will leave soon, I think," you said, already finishing up your bread. "I go to my house and do my work."

"Your beers and such?"

"Yes!" You said. "My brews, they give me food like the priest. But from market adults."

"Do you –"

Ahkmen had begun to say something, but was interrupted by the tolling of a bell that called him back to class. He sighed, his shoulders falling as responsibility once more came to the forefront of his mind.

"I must go. Can I come visit later today?" He asked, already beginning to walk away.

"Of course! Come buy lots of beer!" You called with a singing laugh.

By eveningtime, Ahkmen's fantasies of you had reached an all-time high, daydreaming about how you would react if he had no qualms of anxiety holding him back. What you would do if he had the courage to pull you into him and kiss you, dipping you as your songs echoed in the silent, might halls of pillars reaching for the clouds.

Nothing the priests said was retained by his fog-heavy mind. The bell rang, startling the Prince, making him move for the first time in hours. He shoved his materials away haphazardly, leaving before any of his classmates and heading straight for your alley.

The sun was at its' low height above the western mountains, casting the shadows of tall graves past the river and onto the shore of the living. Red and gold bathed the land, painted his skin into a bronze, which deepened with a blush as he scaled the wooden crates. Already your hidden home had turned to a sort of oasis, entirely separate from his city.

Myrrh, which was the priest's incense of choice during the midday ceremonies, once again met his senses, swirling round his head as he entered the tent.

"Yogasundari?"

"Wait a bit, I am there in a bit of time," you said from behind one of the walls.

Clattering followed by two voices then came, but Ahkmen recalled that this was your business, and left you to it for the time being.

A few minutes later, you called him into the backroom without coming to see him.

"... are you sure?" He asked. To his knowledge, your customers hadn't left.

"Yes, it is good," you said, failing to elaborate further.

Ahk bit the inside of his cheek, reaching forward to pull away the cloth walls. Warm light came from a wall further on down, and when he pulled it away, the yellow light of fire burst in the tent, safe in an entirely-stone enclosing. A clearly handmade mechanism allowed you to hang four pots over the fire, two of which you tended to at the current moment.

Beside you, two familiar faces stood against one of the walls, quietly discussing with one another. His stare caught Unas' attention, who motioned to Panya that Ahkmen was behind her. She turned, scowling when she saw him.

"Why are you here?" She asked with crossed arms.

"I could ask you the same thing," he said, his mood suddenly soured.

"We're here for expertise on an ore I found in the junkyard," Unas explained with a small smile.

He and Unas weren't exactly friends, but they'd always held respect for each other. Ahkmen admired his ingenuity. Junkyards, however, were not the Prince's scene.

"Fun. I'm just here to get drunk," Ahk chuckled, sitting down on the dirt floor with his back pressed against the stone wall.

The number of colorful fabrics in this room were contained to only the entrance, and from the voices surrounding him, he correctly assumed that the 'walls' that made up this room were simply the closely-built walls of many homes all facing away from the one center point. A makeshift wooden roof had been placed above him, mostly blocking out the dying sun's light.

"I work with many rocks," you murmured, concentrated entirely on the stone in your hand, "but this is not rock. It is too pure. You found this in a.. a... what did you name it?"

"Junkyard?"

"Yes, that," you said, snapping your fingers. "This is very different. Others can come looking for it."

"So it's worth something?"

"I do not know. It is just pure, and that is not normal," you said as you handed it back to them. "I can try hard to name it, but it could be long of time."

"Hmm," Unas said, looking to Panya to communicate with her silently.

"Keep it," Panya said. "If we need it, we'll come back for it, but just concentrate on figuring out what it is."

"I will find it," you assured them with a small bow.

Panya and Unas left a few minutes later after having been served an older batch of beer that had sat to ferment. The boiling pots of beer hung over the fire were not yet ready, even if they smelled good, so Ahkmen settled on one of your specialties; a more alcoholic, sweeter beer.

Most of the beer Ahkmen had in his lifetime was for simple nutrition, thick and quite clearly tasting of sweetbread. At rare times, the Pharaoh would bring in more alcoholic beer, an event saved mainly for festivals where beer was cheaper than distributing wine.

Your brew, though––the sweet flavor of wine, an alcoholic content higher than both, for the price of a regular mug of beer. Ahkmen returned to one of the carpeted rooms, finding himself more comfortable surrounded by your purple silks, pillows and blankets cast beneath his feet. There he sat at your table, content to sip at his drink.

A moment or two later you returned to him, straightening out your long clothes before taking a seat across from him. You folded your hands neatly on the table.

"How long have you been working at Osiris' temple?" Ahkmen asked, setting his cup down on the table.

"I found it not long ago. My work is not much known, so I get little money, little food. So more work lets me eat, keep safe in the city," you explained, eyes cast to the side as you thought through your translations.

"Do you like working there?"

"I do not like the clothes they give me," you said, lips twisting into a pout. "They are not enough."

Ahkmen chuckled, though he hadn't meant to, and sighed to calm the delight in his chest.

"As long as you listen to the priests, you'll be alright," he said as he took another swallow from his cup.

"Have you something eaten today?" You asked, moving to stand.

"Yes. Haven't had dinner, if that's relevant," he said.

"I have slow night this night. Come and make food with me," you said as you offered your hand.

He glanced to his cup, and then to your outstretched hand. There was no option.

Ahkmen found himself in your kitchen, where he had been several minutes earlier, except now the brews of the day had been set to cool in their jars, leaving the fire open for other uses. Your choice ingredients weren't unfamiliar to him, but your method of cooking them was.

In most kitchens Ahkmen visited, pans of vegetables were fried over smaller flames, different oils and spices flavoring them. Slabs or slices of meat were cooked in a similar fashion. Your style consisted mainly of throwing every ingredient into your largest pot and letting it cook in its' own stew. You poured a sort of gravy over it, mixing the vegetables, meats, and other such things.

"You like bread in soup?" You asked, pulling a large knife out of its' storage on your counter.

"Sounds good," he said with a shrug. He'd never tried, but it couldn't be that different from beer.

You took a loaf out from underneath a white square of cloth, setting it on a board as you began to cut into it.

"May I help?" He asked upon realizing this was a task he actually could complete.

"Uh," you looked to him, then back to the bread and knife, "okay. Make in small, good?"

"Of course," he said, taking the knife and positioning it.

He did his very best, concentrating far more than was actually necessary, which you giggled from. You tried to hide it, and though he did spot it he appreciated the effort.

You went to chopping more vegetables, cutting lettuce in long slices that acted like noodles as you poured them in from your cutting board. When Ahk's board got overcrowded with cubes of bread, he set the loaf to the side, sliding the pieces in. He looked to you, stared at you as you worked diligently. The slip-up nearly cost his left middle finger.

His hands shook when he realized his mistake, but he couldn't stop smiling. Not till the both of you finished, and you returned to your spot in front of the fire, slowly mixing the concoction.

"You must do this a lot," Ahkmen said as he sat down on the cold floor.

"What do you say?"

"You do this a lot. Mixing pots over fire."

"Oh. Yes, I... I do. My potions, my beer, and my food can all be in this pot," you said, clanking the edge of it with your spoon. "I think... it is good. I like this moving. I can get tired, but it is one thing I know. We eat now."

It took a moment for his brain to process what you'd said, but he soon jumped to his feet, bringing down two bowls from a higher shelf. You thanked him quietly, asking him to hold them as you filled them up. The warm steam of stew drifted up towards his face, causing his mouth to water before he could even eat.

The two of you returned to the carpeted rooms, seating yourselves on the floor near to one another.

"Have you given mother your necklace?" You asked as you waited for the soup to cool to a bearable temperature.

"Not yet. I said I'd do it this evening, so I'll do it once I leave," he said, attempting to sip at his bowl, only to be burned.

"You eat fast then! You were very drunk for her," you laughed, rocking backwards in your seat.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Ahk said, grinning pleased when you giggle in response.

"I see you that night, Aganu. You were sick drunk."

"If I acted strangely it was only because you're incredibly pretty," he said, blowing on the bowl of stew before sipping it this time. It helped, however minute.

"I get you drunk again, put you out on streets to walk alone," you threatened with a raised brow. "You still be strangely."

"Don't forget stupid."

"Haha," you leaned forward, pinching his cheek, "funny Egyptian man."

The sun disappeared earlier than usual, as was customary for the cooler months, and the darkness that followed left Ahkmen enraptured in your games. Thought of his mother, of Piye, and of his father faded into you, paying close attention as you described the rules of your drinking games, with which you had unwittingly kept Ahkmen in your home.

His vision had already started to go hazy, blurred by what beer he had drank for fun hours ago. Through that fuzz he saw two large cups and two smaller ones, the smaller filled with beer, and the larger empty. Two thin sticks were balanced in a row on each large cup.

"Now – now put cup on – on cup," you said, your hands swaying as you went to grab the smaller glass. "Veerryyyyy... kavanyamehka."

Ahkmen did his best to copy, and with great concentration, succeeded.

"We do this talk," you said as you curled your fingers into fists, setting them on the edge of the table. "Do this bang-bang. And.. then, it falls, in big cup. We do again and again an' again and... again. Good?"

"Okay," said Ahkmen, who had a very weak grasp on what you just explained.

He copied your fists, and when you spoke, he followed in loud mumbles, caught in the adrenaline you'd suddenly built. In time with your garbled speech, you banged your fists against the table, and the cups began to tremble on the two twigs.

"Enka kapo ai'il kuttika ventu nam, muta'lilvila matten'atai, en tontaiyl uravem en tanllyial entovuetem, nan 'rrakemen viri naiuta ventaum!"

The louder you got, the more incomprehensible you grew, till Ahkmen was assured you weren't even speaking coherently in your home language. Ever dutiful, he matched your energy till his heart pounded and his cup fell into the larger cup. You then let out a shout, throwing your hands into the air.

"You fail!" You laughed. "Funny man."

"We," he reached into his cup and pulled the smaller cup out, "are doing – going again. I actually understand it this time! So you are finished."

You went a second time, speaking in tongues and yelling raucously when you lost, your own laugh fading into the background as Ahkmen spoke.

"I told you!" He snorted, falling back in his cushioned seat.

Three more rounds, in which there were varied successes and losses, and you paused for the best part––drinking the strange mix of different types of beers and alcohols made from the fallen cups. You linked arms, shooting back your drinks as quick as you could.

The flavors you created for your beers mixed wonderfully together, but Ahkmen was too far gone to notice any of his senses except the ones that related to you. His sight, never leaving you, the sound of your voice, the sensation of your uncommon touch. His heart pounded furiously even without him shouting.

There were few people he could legitimately claim he enjoyed getting drunk with, which made his fondness for you all the more special. Already he knew you would be a fantastic drinking buddy.

Hours that felt like minutes passed, and with both of you hidden away from the sky, you had no way of knowing it was far past midnight by the time exhaustion trickled into your body. Before you knew it, you were lying down on your back next to Ahkmen, staring silently at the detailed ceiling, your hands folded neatly on your stomach.

"I think I have not made me better because I am scared I will become a person who is not the person that my parents knew," you said in a voice that croaked.

"There will always be a part of you that is that person who knew your parents," Ahkmen said softly, turning to face you as you stared up. "And you'll always have them with you in your memories."

"But I change, and if my parents are in me, they change too? Then, they are not my parents. They are changed to someone else. I changed them."

"Everything changes. If they were alive, they would have changed over the years eventually. That's one of life's simple natures," he said.

You fell silent.

"I miss them."

Your cat meowed softly as it jumped up to your seats, walking up over your chest to face you directly. You raised a tired hand, petting the hairless skin, still staring at the ceiling.

"How long have they been gone?"

"Years," you said as you raised up your fingers to indicate 'two'. "I do not know they are dead... but I see no words from them."

This time Ahkmen went quiet.

"Do you like learning about things?" He asked when an idea popped into his head.

"Why have you ask this?"

"I like learning about things. It's a distraction, of sorts," he said, fidgeting with his fingers.

"... alright. Better than sitting," you said, grunting as you attempted to rise to your feet.

Ahkmen stood before you did, chuckling as he noted you quietly trying to convince your cat to get off you.

"You do not sleeping forever," you cooed, bopping her nose gently with your fingertip. "I will come back."

Eventually, the warm lights of your home made way for the evening chill, bathing you in darkness halted only by the presence of a half-full moon. This late into the night––or early in the morning––near no one was awake, and if they were, they were contained mainly to their bedrooms within the walls of their homes. It left the streets and walkways vacant as you wandered aimlessly at Ahkmen's side.

Though most everywhere was quiet and unoccupied, there were houses in which lights had been lit, visible through windows that allowed it to pour out onto the ground outside. Those little spots of light illuminated your path, allowing you to skip over rocks that you would've otherwise tripped over.

"Are you religious, Yogasundari?" Ahkmen asked, his hands folded behind his back as he strolled with you.

"A what?"

"Do you believe in Gods, in a life after death," he clarified.

"My family is," you said, kicking a pebble. "They talk to this god, Shiva Pashupati. I am – my name, it is from the Bandha, which – it is to sit in a way as He makes."

"Shiva..."

"Pashupati."

"Right. What do you ask of him? If you do ask anything," he said, glancing between you and the path ahead.

"Food, no danger, you know," you said with a shrug. "I do not know a lot. My parents did not speak about my home a lot. I know... there is more Gods, but I know no names."

"We have many Gods as well. They lead us into a happy afterlife. Has anyone ever told you about who we worship?"

"No, but I want to know."

"For starters, that temple you work at––it's the home of Osiris, who is the ruler of the underworld, where we go when we die. He is a God of power, righteousness, and death. People here are allowed to choose which Gods they want to worship at any given time, but many choose favorites. For example, I am a devotee of Khonsu and Ptah."

The river before you grew nearer till you stood at the bank's edge, the edge of your toes just barely touching the water. You hardly noticed where the both of you were walking, but you recognized this spot, and identified it as the place Ahkmen had washed up the other day.

"Khonsu... and Ptah," you said in deep concentration as Ahkmen pulled you up onto the wooden docks. "What do they do?"

"Khonsu is a God of the moon, of time, and can extend or shorten the lifespans of anyone he meets. Ptah is a creator-god, so he creates many things, like you do," he said, his hand falling from yours as he stopped at the edge of the dock. "He is a blacksmith of sorts."

Ahkmen bent down, kneeling with one knee on the wood and the other raised to his chest. From there he pulled at the rope keeping a canoe in place, reaching forward to steady the boat when it came loose, now slave to the soft currents of the river.

No words were exchanged as he once more took your hand, helping you into the canoe. You grabbed the oars so as to balance yourself, even though it didn't help in the slightest, and took your seat on the bow of the small boat. Ahkmen soon followed, sitting down across from you. He took the oars and began to row slowly away from the shore.

"The Nile is a beautiful thing that brings to us life through the power of the God Hapi, who controls the floods that entail both death and revitalization. But, if you sail straight across, we find our earthly version of the underworld," he said, and the few words you could understand seemed to only confuse you.

"I am not sure I –"

"The Eastern bank is for the living," he said, gesturing to the city behind him. "The Western is where the dead lie forever. It is where the sun casts its' final rays before dying."

"Ohhh," you said with a wide jaw, looking out over his shoulder to the banks ahead of you.

You had, for a time, wondered why the other shore seemed deserted while the one you occupied was so lively. You had also wondered why there were massive pyramids shining a stark white against the warm sand and blossoming trees, their heights a monument of human achievement, jutting out of the desert to remind all who watched that there was greater power than they will ever behold.

"The pyramids out there," Ahk paused to look behind him before returning to you and rowing, "they're tombs. Resting places of great Pharaohs who came before us."

"Those are for one person?!" You asked with wide, shocked eyes.

"Each one is built for one person, yes," he chuckled. "Generally we're not allowed to go here unless it is for prayer, but I don't think anyone will ask questions this late at night."

Crickets and frogs croaked from the safety of bog-like swarms of lilypads, welcoming you loudly to the land of the dead within the land of the living. Ahkmen jumped out of the boat, sullying his sandals and skirt in muddy water as he traipsed through the undergrowth, bringing the stern of the ship to rest fully on the unmoving shore.

Once he finished that, he took your hand, helping you out of the canoe and onto dry land. You thanked him quietly, and in turn led him out of the water.

The distant pyramids had been a wonder to you, but you never gave them much thought. You didn't know what they were used for, if anything, and you had no idea why, or even how, they were built. Now the alabaster pikes remained shadows against a star-lit sky, a painting of a million stars illuminating nothing more than a silhouette of the once glittering pyramids. Your breath caught in your throat as you stared up. They were much taller than you'd originally thought.

"A good long while ago, there was a Pharaoh by the name of Djoser, and he was the first to build any sort of pyramid. Before him, the graves of Pharaohs remained simple mastabas. I look up to Djoser quite a lot... him and his vizier, of course. Imhotep. He was the one who did the most work," Ahkmen rambled as the two of you continued forward, nearing the monuments.

"... how did you.. make these?" You asked in an awestruck voice, murmuring in the presence of great beasts.

"Many years," he said, continuing on. "And much devotion."

Ahkmen went on to explain in great detail what the pyramids contained––their history, their wealth in both understanding the ancestors, as well as the wealth of treasure hidden beneath what seemed like miles of stone. He told you of the different rooms within, where offerings were still placed to this day.

Given the overwhelming size of the pyramids, it took longer than you imagined to get to the end of the long line, where the step pyramid sat. Ahkmen began to approach the tomb, but halted when he noticed you weren't at his side. Turning round, he found you stuck in place, your hands raised anxiously to your chest as you stared at the pyramid.

"Yogi?"

Nothing.

"Yogasundari, are you alright?" He tried, this time returning to you and gently pulling your hands apart, hoping to stop your straining fidgets.

"This is... a King," you said in a quiet voice, the glaze in your eyes slowly disappearing as you came to focus on him.

"Well, yes," he said with a frown. "We do have those, you know."

"Sorry, I... sorry," you murmured, and as Ahk's grip on you fell, you walked on past him towards the tomb.

"Wait," he reached for your wrist, turning you around, "are you alright?"

He had not asked you to apologize for any behavior––he had asked you if you felt okay, and that was the answer he sought.

"I am good," you assured him with a chuckle. "I am thinking on Kings and my family. I do not want to... make dirty of your Kings, but it is hard to think of Kings and to not think of family."

"Oh, don't worry about that," he said, taking your hands once more. "We're actually going to be desecrating holy ground so it's alright to say fuck you to some Kings."

Out of the two options he gave you, you decided to enter the tomb, opposed to scaling the sheen surface of polished limestone. Moonlight from a half-moon reflected off that clear stone, a light that faded away as Ahkmen led you into the earth.

Staircases upon hallways upon staircases led deep into the ground, lined with stray dust and paintings of stories Ahkmen hardly understood, let alone you. The darkness soon came to a high, leaving you in a pitch-black darkness too thick to even see each other. You stumbled forward, bumping your head on Ahk's shoulder, and letting out a small cry.

"You alright?" He said, offering his hand before remembering you would not be able to see.

"I am okay," you said, dirt and sand shuffling as you made your way back to your feet. "We need light."

"We'll find a torch soon, we can take that," Ahkmen said.

As predicted, a few steps forward with his hand running along the wall, and he found the end of a burnt out torch. At the next crossroads there would be a vat of oil, with which he could relight it.

"When the Pharaoh, Djoser, built this place," Ahkmen said as he lit the torch, holding it up to see the hieroglyphs above your heads, "he built it with temples outside, courtyards... gardens and houses. It was a city all for his death. And none of it was used until he died. All his life he built this pyramid, and never reaped the benefits."

"Why?" You asked, looking up from Djoser to him.

"It's a purpose in life. At least, that's how I see it," he said, his voice growing quieter. "I think that it is our purpose to leave this world better than when we came into it. This was simply his way of doing it."

"How will you doing it?"

"... I don't know," he murmured after a moment of silence.

His eyes fell to you, meeting your gaze as you simultaneously looked up with a special sort of adoration in the reflection of your eyes. Time paused; his heartbeat, his breath, the flame in his hand. You still waited expectantly.

"I will find my purpose someday," he said. "I'm still young."

"You will say that to the day you die."

The long hallways were much more entertaining with your sight returning, allowing you to scan and absorb the art painted on every surface. It was hard to tell who was who, but those in power were always clearly marked, and those below them would always tremble by their might. You bit the inside of your cheek, tearing your eyes away from the gory scene and following Ahkmen onwards.

"Here we reach the blue chambers," Ahkmen said, his echoing voice calling your attention away from the dark hallway walls.

You looked ahead to him, past him, to the blue strokes of paint shrouding the ceiling in midnight and stars. Your mouth fell open as you looked straight up.

A woman's body was stretched across the center plane of the room, her toes at the door and hands at the opposite end. Her skin was a deep blue, peppered with yellow, five-pointed stars. Massive jars and pots neatly filled the corners of the room, half-buried in dust, the paint still remaining on the surface. Besides that, the room remained empty, cobwebs filling the space, and dissipating wherever Ahkmen held his torch.

From here, there were two directions to choose from; left and right. Painted reeds lined the entrances, captioned by the hieroglyphs far above your head.

"Down that way is the burial vault," Ahkmen said, pointing down to the left, "and down that way is the King's apartment."

"Why would you need a apartment in a death home?"

Ahk snorted, "a tomb, you mean. It's to be used in death. Everything you are buried with comes with you in the afterlife, so those with great riches build homes they want, treasures they want to carry forever. It's a portable home."

"Hmm," you said in a detached tone, wide eyes turning back to the painted walls. "There is so much turns. I do not know how we get out."

"Ah, the layout of the pyramids remains a mystery to all but me," he said with a wide, cocky grin, throwing his arm over your shoulders. "I will lead us safely onwards."

You giggled, covering your mouth as you did. It disappointed him slightly not to see your smile, but he kept to his word, and led you down to the Pharaoh's 'apartments'. He rehearsed the correct path to the living areas, and by the time he came to the split path he recalled which turn to take.

He moved to continue quickly on, but you paused, his arm falling from your shoulders as you stood in place. That quickly caught his attention, and he returned to you.

You were staring at the wall with a furrowed brow, eyes searching the large blue tiles.

"Faience," he told you, sneaking up from behind. You jumped slightly, relaxing when you realized it was him.

"It is beautiful."

"It's meant to look like the palace," he said, easily recalling much of his studies on Imhotep's pyramid. "Mimicks the reed mats and such."

Several passageways and long, detailed hallways later, the two of you arrived in a room stacked with dark, elegant cabinets filled with everything from clothes to chairs. Red and reed carpets covered the floor, broken after their long-lived lives. As with many of the rooms and halls you'd already seen, the room was filled with vases and jars of all sizes, containing everything from honey to bits of unprocessed stone.

Being a home of sorts for the royal family from years ago, it contained a number of comfortable chairs, as well as detailed carpets both hung and set on the ground. Spiderwebs had grown over the edges, crowding the corners of the room with dusty string.

"As long as you know the paths of the pyramids, they can be a good place to find solitude. Sometimes I enjoy studying here," he said, craning his neck to look at the hieroglyphs carved onto the ceiling.

"You do work a lot, I think," you said, your shuffling feet slowly moving to the end of the room.

"Perhaps so. But you cannot claim that without acknowledging you work quite a lot, as well," he said with a smile. His amusement grew when you just nodded, pretending to understand what he had just said.

For the remainder of the evening, Ahkmen set to what he had been planning all along––distracting you from your dissipating drunken haze, as well as from the thought of your parents. Studying and researching had always done well to keep his own mind off things, so he offered the same opportunity for you.

A chart of the night sky hung above the frame of a bed, numerous blankets and pillows cast haphazardly aside upon it. You were reluctant to put any more weight on it, but Ahkmen assured you it would be fine, and pushed you to lie down, staring up at the ceiling.

"Do you see the brightest star?" He asked, climbing over you to sit on your hips, his hands on your waist.

"To that way?" You asked in return, gesturing to the right with your chin.

"Mhm. Her name is Sopdet. When she rises in the night sky in the summer, she brings with her the floods of the Nile," he said softly, creeping closer still, "and the fertility of the land. She is married to Sah, who holds yet another place in the sky. When Pharaohs die... that is where they go."

"What does Sah do?"

"He is one of the largest constellations," he said, a grin forming across his face. Ahkmen began to creep up your body, using his fingers like claws as he gripped you. "He is eaten in the morning and spit out at night––and he rises into the sky to protect his wife."

You giggled, blushing from the intense overacting of the man pinning you to the old bed.

"He is a God who sails the skies. He navigates the stars in a papyrus skiff, and the old Pharaoh's souls go with him. It is a death I yearn for," Ahkmen said, his energy suddenly cooling, his hands less grasping you and more holding you.

"I like to see the stars now. You show where they are, yes?" You asked, searching his eyes as you looked up.

Behind the faint halo of his face, the soft skin reflecting the dying light of the torch, stars painted in gold on a midnight canvas surrounded him. It was him, the life in his eyes against the eternity of the sky––distant, and far enough to only be found in the heart.

"Of course," he said with a smile, crinkling and blushing around his grey eyes.

[caermis]

❝The fuck is on your head. ❞

☀️Izuku Midoriya, 💥Bakugou Katsuki, 💳Momo Yaoyorozu, & 🎼Jirou Kyoka X Black!Reader

✑Characters ⟹☀️Izuku Midoriya ⟹💥Bakugou Katsuki ⟹💳Momo Yaoyorozu ⟹🎼Jirou Kyoka 

✑Warnings: None

✑Prompt/Summary: ⟹First Time seeing you wearing something to cover your hair for bed HCs⟹

✑Notes: ⟹Im tryna be diverse with the characters. I might to pro heroes or villains next.

🥦Izuku Midoriya🥦

🥦He is confused. “Like you're wearing that for what.”

🥦“Your hair. I can't feel it.”

🥦“Is this normal?” As he stares at you, you watched him pull out his notebook at lightning speed and flip to a new page, and run off his questions at lightning speed. You tell him to pause and slow down. 

🥦“Why are you wearing that?”

🥦“To protect my hair and not mess it up.”

🥦“Could I wear one?”

🥦“I mean, with your hair type… yea.” The next night, you walk into the bedroom with him sitting on the bed, waiting for you with a hair cap, excitedly waiting for you with a proud smile. “Now we're matching.”

🥦This boy then makes it his personal mission to learn more about your hair. He knew it looked different, but not that you had to take care of it differently. So this boy is doing research, learning hairstyles, and getting specialized products. Even though he loves seeing you in braids and all sorts of exotic hairstyles, he loves you in an afro the most. 

🥦Let one person disrespect your afro, let someone. Suddenly Deku is on their ass. Suddenly we have a lawsuit that Todoroki graciously bails you out, more than happy to waste Endeavors money. 

💥Bakugou Katsuki💥

💥First reaction is what the fuck is on your head? You look weird as hell? Why are you wearing that?

💥“I need it to protect my hair.”

💥That was all he needed to incorporate that into his routine. He made sure you had your hair covered for almost a full hour and you both went to bed. He made sure that shit was on during the night, so he’d hold you down in one position so it didn't move. 

💥This boy makes sure you have variety. Getting different colors and types, thinking you looked best in orange. When this boy saw you with an orange durag in the middle of the day with long box braids, he was like, “You can wear that out in public.”

💥“Yeah.” 

💥 This man started preparing durags next to your clothes, making shit match. When you left the bedroom without one on, he looked like just bitch slapped you and spat on his son. 

💥He knew far better than to wear or use your shit. His hair wasn't built for it. 

💥Though he had researched products for your hair but doesn’t try to do your hair. He’s afraid to mess it up, and that is one they won't do. He’ll supply you with your stuff, getting the best of the best hair products. Your hair is one of his prized possession and you often wonder if he loves your hair more than you.

💥Let one person insult your hair, suddenly, you holding onto him with dear life. Trying to calm him down. Suddenly the police are on scene and you're both escorted to the Police Station. You both are regulars. 

💳Momo Yaoyorozu💳

💳You were always the one to wake up first and go to sleep last, sneaking on your head cap and taking it off before she could catch you. When she first found out, she was surprised and slightly hurt that you hid that from her.

💳“I don't know why you hid it from me. Is it something you are insecure about?”

💳“Yeah…”

💳After that, dedicated hair spa days came to exist. She wasn't the best with her hands while doing hairstyles, but washing your hair was magical. She had your shit washed, detangled, combined. 

💳Messed up hair day Who?

💳Hairstylists that know how to do your type of hair, bitch, she got you. “That comes down to $100 dollars.” Momo casually swipes her card. Ain't nothing too expensive for her baby (you). 

💳She’ll spoil the fuck out of you and your hair, loving when you had puffs, like your own version of pigtails. 

💳She doesn’t do her own research, only for hair products and hairstylists. She doesn't want to seem intrusive and only really bothers it when you ask. 

💳Let this woman hear an insult to men pull up in a van and drag that person away. No one else has insulted your hair ever since.

🎼Jirou Kyoka🎼

🎼She notices, but doesn’t say anything about it. This goes on for months, she’ll even prepare your head caps for you. 

🎼She’ll do research on her own, not wanting to seem uncultured. She’ll order specialized hair stuff for you, enjoying the joy on your face.

🎼“You never asked about my hair cap.” 

🎼“Did you want me to?” 

🎼Jirou will feel horrible if she was supposed to ask, she just wanted to feel smart for her Wifey and messing that up, makes her want to disappear. 

🎼Once explaining that it was okay, and you were thrilled that she looked at stuff on her own. You smother her with love. 

🎼He loves when your hair is up. She thinks you absolutely have a beautiful neck and shoulders and showing skin, she just drools.

🎼Let someone disrespect you. She has connections to Momo and Momo’s gracious heart and money. Jirou will want to get an assassin. You tell her no. She won't be happy and leave, glaring at that person, only to make a call later that night. 

[lathalea]

The Hobbit: DOS: The Appendices, Part 9 (1/4)

30 seconds into the BTS: Thorin happens *FAINTS* RA LAUGHED! SQUEAL!

All the dwarves are being assaulted with tons of real fish. So much fish! Oh my Dorsch! :D So much fish lake town is fishy XD

Which fish are better - the hobbit ones or lake town ones? The plastic ones or the real ones?

Ori gets a fish avalanche. And the fish as monstrously big. Omg ori and his new lover the shark have alone time in the barrel!

Dori can’t stop laughing at Ori’s misery. Sweet Ori so mad he tells people to fuck off

Thorin tenderly puts a fish on Dwalin’s head How gentle RA is o_o Now I know why Dwalin is so grumpy XD

Dwalin hates fish. [Protein] Dwalin just eating a raw fish as statement It is for the protein. Gym instructor Dwalin cares about the protein!

Orlando Bloom does his own stunts and gets hit in a very private part of his body. Ooooo no kids for Legolas

Orlando keeps doing his own stunts. orlando stop breaking the set! legolas: how dare you make me bleed my own blood! Not the face! Legolas being a pretty boy, never bleeding once until now legolas: .... blood is red? Legolas: ... this isn't supposed to come out of my nose... And kids that was the time legolas decided he never ever bleed again ..... red isent his color Makes sense in canon too because Legolas wouldn't have as much experience as he does in lotr Headcanon accepted!

PJ: Thorin gets to plead his case in Laketown... Thorin gets to plead? THE KING DOES NOT PLEAD

Bard walks among dwarves and he is not tall at all Bard is a dwarf after all they could put luke in high heels lol Bard: I AM NOT A DWARF! Dwarves: ONE OF US... ONE OF US... RA explains the details of a scene Oh yes, RA let’s listen to that deep voice of yours

Lots of scenes a re made in green screen. It wasn't the dragon sickness, it was green sickness! I feel like green room is a place naughty actors go to think about their behaviour Ian McKellen and RA were naughty boys then 13 men in a tiny green room Yeah sounds naughty alright

Dori flirts and does naughty stuff with a tall man dressed as a woman Dori the womanizer! :o

Stephen Colbert's cameo with family and a cute kitty He freaks out geek style THE TOLKIEN FANBOY Imagine Stephen and Richard in a nerd trivia fight

Stephen Colbert gets the replica of Sting I can feel RA's jealousy in this RA: Now he is just showing off... there can be only one... RA like I’m gonna steal that when no one is looking He got orcrist lol RA: *angry* mine is bigger

Denethor === Master of Laketown (being disgusting) Grima === Alfrid (ew)

PJ has a cameo of a man hiding in a basket The Basketman. The hero laketown needs, not the one it deserves 

  Stephen Fry eating a fake testicle Everyone tries not to puke. This is worse than the tomato scene...

James Nesbitt's wife and daughters acting in TH as well. Saint Bofur's family taking over the movie! We approve of that! Beautiful female Orc appears on the screen We Stan the female orc Someone write fic about her I envy her... those eyebrows! Ori and Tauriel fighting over who is sexier - goblins or orcs

Laketown toilet scene. How about some toilet humor? Dwalin, pissed: emerges from a toilet The engineering that went into a simple toilet ;) Dwarves are disgusted  Lake Town gave the dwarves more PTSD than the whole quest

Time for Mirkwood extras Time for King Bitchface Fabulous Thranduil vs Majestic Thorin Celebrity deathmatch!

It’s not easy to walk in long, flowing robes. Thrandy: tries to be fabulous, falls down the stairs cuz of his dress

Angry Thorin speaking Khuzdul I need a cold shower here!

Thranduil and Thorin scene Oof the sexual tension is so strong!

Tauriel: the greatest dagger-spinning badass elf!

Alan Lee does his ASMR each time he appears on the screen. He needs to record an album with his voice.

Saint Bofur shouting in a barrel:

And then RA tries to recreate his epic line:

Dori is an opera singer:

Time for The Kiliel Scene...

... with Legolas.

Thorin randomly appears on the screen excuse me faint ok im good

Mirkwood. Everyone got so stoned that even Gandalf forgot his bike.

No, wait, they didn’t really get stoned. RA said so himself!

We believe you, RA. Totally. Ian/Gandalf is a bit lost at the gate to Mirkwood: What am I doing here? What am I supposed to do or say or...? That's Gandalf through the entire saga really.

Bombur falls asleep and the Company needs to carry him. Unfortunately Thorin has a small mishap: 

... and that's how Thorin died. THE END. Saint Bofur smoked too much weed!

Thorin. Thorin is majestic. Thorin is fighting. The Hair. *fainting Elmo style*

The crew is handling the spiderweb-wrapped dwarves like pieces of dead meat (and we’re overprotective) That's the line of Durin you're touching!

Dwarves are wrapped in the cocoons. Someone calls Dean. lol the closed captioning said Dain instead of Dean DAIN WERENT YOU SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE IRON HILLS RA speaks. It’s enough. “I'm not a RA fan but dear god his voice”

The dwarves are a tiny bit cranky.

There is no Fili for like 1,5h of extras :((( Finally! He appears They heard us complaining

The dwarves are trying to get inside Beorn’s house before the beast attacks them. no dwarves but thorin know how doors work That's why he's the king Thorin has the brain cell

Mikael Persbrandt (Beorn) has to play with sticks ending with tennis balls instead of real actors. Luckily, Thorin’s stick is (of course) the most majestic. Thorin the Oakenstick And Beorn grabs this Oakenstick and beat the shit out of Azog. THE END.

Work with greenscreen can be frustrating. Gandalf: I did not become an actor for this

Meanwhile Beorn:

Beorn loves his mice <3 Bombur is the most badass dwarf in this movie. Proof:

And that’s all for today! ---

Missed The Appendices part 7 & 8? Here they are: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Want to see how silly we were when watching The Hobbit? See here.

Thank you everyone, we had so much fun :D

@avaria-revallier​ @way-too-addicted-to-fandoms​ @bananzer​ @guardianofrivendell​ @bigsmallworld​ @oreo-cookies-fan​​ @theresonlyzuul​​ @shrimpsthings​​ @ahshithherewegoagain​​

[coeurdeviolet]

[ prelude ] melting point.

monsta x || minhyuk x fem!oc || nsfw || ao3 link tba 

like an old scar or a faded tattoo, she was impossible to get rid of. she knew exactly how to get under his skin--- but he’d be damned if he’d let her. 

just a littttttle bit of nsfw at the beginning but otherwise, this one’s pretty tame. i was planning to post my other fic first but this was just a little easier to write--- less moving parts in my brain i guess! anyway, thanks for reading, feel free to shoot me an im or an ask if you feel so inclined! i realized i had to make a new ao3 account for my mx fics so that’ll be coming soon aha okay, hope you enjoy!

He was so close.

Her touch was soft and slow but he could tell that every stroke was methodical. How they ended up like this was beyond him but he wasn’t about to start asking questions.

He’d never been more grateful to be flying first class than he was now. Fully reclined in his flat bed seat, he was completely at his companion’s mercy. All he could do was bite down on his fist to stop himself from making too much noise. The entire cabin was dark save for the overhead light above them and all the other passengers had been blissfully lulled to sleep by the plane’s ambient hum.  

“Oh, Minhyukie,” she cooed, the familiar voice so gentle.

A moan rumbled in his throat as she ran a thumb over the head of his cock, his hips bucking involuntarily. At that, the girl simply giggled, picking up the pace some as she anticipated his climax. She sat at his side, deft hands working him in a way that may as well have reduced him to nothing but melted wax, the dim lighting illuminating the small smirk on her face.

His breath hitched in his throat--- so close now.

She had to have known it as she moved even faster, both hands on him now.

But it wasn’t until he felt the warmth of her tongue run up his length that he let out a muffled moan, her name tumbling from his lips. She took his cock into his mouth easily, plump lips sucking lighty, teasing him now. Minhyuk moved to pull her hair away from her face, gathering soft locks in his hands as he guided her head. Dark eyes looked up at him as she fluttered her lashes, humming quietly, mouth still wrapped around him.

So fucking close.

Almost---

Almost.

And then he woke up.

The scene was almost the exact same. First class flight. Reclined back. Dark.

The only difference was that he was alone and she… She was peering over from the seat in front of him, a knowing smirk on her lips. His heart was still fucking racing, erection practically throbbing under the thin airline blanket— and there she was— completely eating this shit up.

Although he had been dreaming of her, Shin Hana was more of a nightmare than anything.

To say that their families were close would be an understatement. Not only were their fathers old  university classmates turned business partners, but their mothers were also best friends— so much so that they ended up going into labour only three hours apart, ultimately making it so that Minhyuk was a mere seven hours older. He and Hana had gone to the same schools and were placed in almost all the same classes. To most people, the two of them were a package deal. They were always neck in neck when it came to grades and other achievements--- it was like she was his shadow, following him wherever he went, whether he liked it or not.

Unfortunately, the amicable relationship that their parents had with each other did not extend to their children. The most decency they could muster was playing nice at family gatherings and important events. There were no holds barred at any other point--- Shin Hana existed only to make Minhyuk suffer. That much he was sure of.

Objectively speaking, Minhyuk would suppose that there was nothing inherently wrong with her, but it was hard for him to find anything good to say when she so clearly derived pleasure from his torment. It wasn’t a matter of whether he liked her or hated her, really. When you grow up with someone, you eventually stop having an opinion on them and just accept what comes. She was just an unavoidable constant. Nothing more.

“Minhyukie… Don’t tell me you were dreaming about me,” she spoke, voice just a low whisper. She batted her lashes at him just like she did in his dream.

He just rolled his eyes, shifting slightly in a futile attempt to adjust himself. Just looking at her lips was enough to send a shudder through him.

“What were you dreaming of? I heard my name,” she chuckled, head canting in curiosity.

Perhaps the worst thing about her was that she knew exactly what to do to rile him up. Minhyuk always figured it was because they had known each other for so long, but as they got older, she seemed to become more and more adept at getting under his skin in any way humanly possible. Maybe, just maybe, he shouldn’t have victimized himself so much--- after all, he too, was guilty of feeding into her little games.  

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” he retorted, shooting her a narrow glare.

“No need to be so snappy,” she huffed, using the same tone she always used when she wanted to get on his nerves. “Are you going back to sleep?”

Before Minhyuk could even reply, Hana had gotten up from her seat, casually letting herself into his personal space. While the first class seating had ample room for one person, two people really pushed the envelope on comfort. Unabashedly, Hana lifted up his blanket and settled in beside him, a small but knowing grin on her face. Again, he shifted in his seat, trying to hide the burden in his pants.

“You know, for someone who always gives me so much shit, you always jump at a chance to be near me,” he scoffed, although he showed no hesitation as he let her rest her head on his shoulder.

“Mm, I just want to make sure you don’t have any more bad dreams,” Hana said simply, amusement in her voice as she cuddled him shamelessly.

This type of whiplash wasn’t uncommon for them. Although the gesture might have seemed sweet on the surface, Minhyuk could tell just by the look on her face that she was really only cozying up to him because she knew it’d drive him crazy. There were few boundaries that they hadn’t crossed in the years of knowing each other but one thing was certain--- it was advisable to not get too comfortable for too long. Hana had a knack for appearing warm but then turning frigid in a blink of an eye.

Anyone with eyes could admit that she was attractive. She took good care of herself and was always well put together, but the real danger lay in the fact that she knew it. Hana was wholly capable of weaponizing her looks if she needed to. Minhyuk had seen her step on boys left and right without so much of a second thought. While he was mostly immune to her charms, obviously he had been letting his mind wander lately.

“Uh-huh… Seems like bull to me. When are you just going to confess and get it over with?” he prodded jokingly. “I’ll let you down easy, I promise.”

“... Oh, Minhyukie… A boy can dream. Wait a minute... Don’t tell me… Was that what you were dreaming about?” she giggled, knowing full well she was toeing a line. She fluttered her lashes at him again, tone coy. “Being with me?”

“Don’t lump me in with all those other guys who chase after you. Unlike them, I’m smart enough to see through your crap,” he muttered, shaking his head. At that, Hana simply let out a small laugh, allowing her leg to brush up against him casually. Their proximity was dizzying but she showed no signs of letting up.

A few minutes of silence passed before he realized she had actually fallen asleep. Her hands were clasped around his arm, lips pouted slightly as she slept. It was hard not to recall the image of her from his dreams, those same lips around him, those hands stroking him gently--- He was hoping to maybe slip away to relieve himself in the bathroom--- but so much for that. Just his luck, really.

Their families had been planning this trip to Los Angeles for months, deeming it a celebratory vacation as he and Hana had just completed their first year of university. Never one to say no to a trip abroad, Minhyuk was elated at the idea, but of course, the prospect of having to spend two weeks abroad with Hana soured his enthusiasm a bit. She had assured him that she had her own agenda and wouldn’t waste her time bothering him, but looking at her now, curled up beside him, he had to wonder how much of that would remain true. Minhyuk couldn’t bring himself to go back to sleep, afraid that his subconscious would take over again.

Heaving a sigh, he plugged in his earphones and browsed through the in flight movie catalogue knowing he had a long flight ahead of him.

[samwritesforyou]

We’re gonna be okay

Diego x reader

Summary: You and Diego worked out a system for a situation if he ever comes to your place while being in the highest form of distress and needs your help. He assured you it won’t happen often. Until one night, it finally did.

A/N: i feel like i’ve read the whole tumblr dot com worth of diego x reader fanfics and yet i still wanted more, so the desperate need to finally write something myself has been fulfilled. i would actually love to take requests, so if you want, dont hesitate to message/ask me! im ready to write fics and headcanons :) (my blog might seem new but ive been on tumblr for years and years and i finally dedicated a new blog to mostly reader inserts, either my own or reblogging others)

Warnings: Mentions of a panic attack, gender neutral reader

Wordcount: 3,350

There was a knock on the door.

It was pretty late, but not too late for it to be Diego yet.

Or so you thought.

You got up kinda lazily from a comfortable chair you had situated in the corner of a room, at first designed mainly for reading or napping, but ending up doing absolutely whatever you could on the spot. Eating pizza, watching netflix, browsing through the internet after long working hours that you put in into your tiny art selling business.

You slightly opened the door and already plastered a semi-fake smile for a possible neighbor, but in front of you stood Diego.

Your dear friend, who was at the moment soaked from the rain outside, with big eyes, fast breathing and bloody hands.

Bloody hands?!

“Hello to you too, friend!” you said quite worried, quickly patting him down for signs of any physical pain. For the first time in a while he seemed fine, unscarred.

Your eyes finally went up, literally scanning his face but it was completely unreadable.

His eyes were wide and he looked as if he couldn’t comprehend what was going on around him.

You looked down again and took his fists into your hands. His own palms unclenched and you could see that they were heavily bloodied.

“Diego.. whose blood is it?”

No answer.

You rushed him inside and closed the door behind the two of you, facing the damn vigilante again.

“Diego, I need to know who’s blood is on your hands,” your voice grew steadier as you knitted your brows together in worry and confusion.

Only then the guy decided to move his arms and you noticed how shaky he is. He connected his two index fingers in the form of a cross, pressing it to his chest.

Your own eyes went wide now as you stumbled back a few steps and your mind went blank.

.

.

.

You instantly remembered a night that happened a few years back. He has come in crumbling through your window and was obviously in some new form of distress, that you couldn’t quite understand yet.

“Diego?” it seemed like your voice didn’t reach his ears, so you tried calling out his name again, getting up from the couch and patting him lightly on the body, to determine any sign of an injury.

It looked like there was none, so you tried to reach his gaze that was somewhat absentminded, all over the place, scanning everything but not meeting your eyes.

He was a tough guy, and you knew it. You knew that if you want to get answers, you need to either get them yourself or make yourself heard, until he cannot ignore you any longer.

“Diego Hargreeves, what is going on?” your voice was soft yet determined.

His dark orbs finally stopped on your face and he just shook his head, his breathing oddly fast for a man who was just simply standing.

You continued to push. You didn’t have the best day either, and to be interrupted at 1am by his visit was nothing new, but you couldn’t let him have this behaviour. Even though you’re friends, that didn’t automatically mean that he could do whatever he wanted.

Throughout the whole night he didn’t say a thing, but when you started adding volume to your voice, he.. he just broke down.

That night, you’ve witnessed Diego experience a panic attack. Caused by yourself.

You couldn’t fall asleep that night, even after you eventually calmed him down and the only thing that was left to do for you was to watch him sleep and slowly rubbing circles on his exposed arm out of the blanket.

It felt like neons before you noticed a first ray of sunshine drawing from the half-closed curtains, making you spring to your feet and drag your ass to the kitchen, trying to think of what to do for breakfast.

When you figured the recipe out and finished cooking, Diego was already up and joined you near the kitchen counter, next to which you had two stools.

He settled on one of them, looking at you.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” you couldn’t muster anything better, so you just put a plate in front of him and then sat next to his side, simply digging into your portion of scrambled eggs.

“About last night, y/n..” he drifted off, probably at first deciding that it’s better to fill his stomach a little bit.

In the meantime you didn’t dare to speak up and just waited for him to say something, anything.

When he finished his meal, he finally turned to you with a sigh.

“You know that one guy I told you ‘bout? That we.. we do some vigilante shit together from time to time?”

You just nodded, not meeting his eyes.

“Well. I guess I could count him as a close friend. You know.. and,” this was followed by a slight pause and clearing of the throat.

“He died yesterday. I couldn’t save him.”

Your eyes immediately shot up to Diego and all that vulnerability and hurt that you’ve clearly seen yesterday just overtaking him were completely gone. Now present only a strong facade that he mastered whenever he needed to hide from showing emotions. You hated it.

“Shit, Diego..” you spoke quietly and softly, all the words seemed to have left you in all the things unsaid in your throat. But you tried to continue.

“I’m sorry. And I’m also sorry for pushing you over the edge. I.. I didn’t know what happened so I just acted how we would normally do,” he smirked at that, merely for a second, but you still caught it.

“Look, I.. I know, “ he simply said and then it felt as if he was weighting pros and cons of telling you something else that was clearly on his chest.

“You always help me out. Every single night I come to you.. Why do you do it, y/n?” Diego’s eyes were steadily turned your way.

At the sudden question you raised an eyebrow, “well, I.. I care about you.”

He lightly bit his lower lip and turned his gaze away, clearly thinking about something really hard.

“Okay,” he finally said, “y/n, do you think I could ask you for a favour then?”

At that your eyes met and you felt nervous, for some reason.

You really liked him. Not just like a friend. But you understood that there probably won’t be a chance for you two to ever become a couple (mostly considering that you didn’t believe that he could feel about you this way), so you settled for friendship anyways, since you two really got along well.

And having this handsome tough guy as a friend? Damn, just that is already some kind of luck swinging your way.

But your feelings of course meant that.. you’d do more for him than what you’d do just for a friend. You would get out of your comfort zone just to help him with injuries or hear him talk about his girlfriend (at the time, now they were broken up) and how they argued so much that he ended up on the streets and didn’t really want to go to his lonely place at the gym.

And you took him in. You always did. And since the day you became friends you always care for him.

And you’d care now once again.

“What is it?” in your tone danced a question, troubled with what he might ask for.

“Well, yesterday-“ he cut himself from finishing and cleared his throat, starting over.

“I imagine we’re gonna be friends for a long time, right?”

You just pushed your brows up with a small nod in affirmation.

“I never had.. anyone, really, to help me with the states I often got into,” you immediately thought of Eudora, wasn’t his ex-girlfriend supposed to be his support pillar? Or is he just making you feel sorry for him-

“Or I didn’t ever trust anyone that much, you know,” oh, okay, that kind of explains that then.

“And I guess.. I trust you enough? To share this?” he talked quietly and mumbled a lot so you realised soon you won’t be able to hear him at all.

You grabbed his hands with yours and caught his attention this way.

You were never really touchy together, but occasional hugs and even holding hands was kind of a standard for you from time to time.

His eyes met yours again and you cursed yourself for your heartbeat getting faster. This is not an appropriate moment to get butterflies in your stomach, dammit.

“I’m listening, Diego,” you confirmed, nodding again.

“Okay. It’s- it’s just really h-hard to talk about this,” he stuttered a bit, but with the next breath continued again, “When there’s some situation that’s just completely fucked up, like losing someone close to me, or- or somethin’ else, I don’t know.. I finish what I need at the scene where it happened but when I come home I just,” he breathed some air in and you felt his hands squeeze yours a bit tighter, “I just break down, you know? Sometimes it’s just all too much for me and I don’t know how to deal with it and I would just wanna.. someone to hold me, I guess? Otherwise when someone’s trying to talk at me or somethin’ I just get even more worked up and it’s even worse.”

It all started to come together in your mind. Even though it sounded really strange to hear Diego talk about things like.. wanting to be held and shit. But you always guessed there’s a far bigger sweetheart and a soft boy underneath all those harness and knives.

You tried to pick your words carefully.

“So when I started to ask you shit.. You just flipped. Basically because I was talking at you a lot and you couldn’t take it anymore, right?”

He sighed and looked somewhere up, nodding bit by bit.

“Yeah, yep. That was it.”

You clapped at his hands lightly, to bring his focus back again and he looked at you and mustered a sad, faint smile.

You did the same. In the world you lived in, unforeseen and unfortunate events were happening left and right and thinking about his childhood and everything.. no wonders he developed such a huge reaction and coping mechanism to something catastrophic happening.

“That’s okay, Diego. I’m here for you, I mean it. Let’s just talk about some things what I should and shouldn’t do when you come here in that state, alright? I just want you to feel comfortable.”

“Alright. Thank you, y/n,” he was looking down now, the whole morning kinda failing to meet your gaze and just rubbed his thumb across your hand, which send you heart into a race again.

You slowly let go of him, making an excuse to go wash the dishes.

After a while you looked behind you where he sat and said, “We also need some sort of a sign that you can easily show me, since you’re not really talkative when you get like this.”

Apparently he already used said “sign” somewhere, because he had it on the ready.

It was his hands clutching in fists, index fingers crossing each other in a form of a cross, pressed to his chest.

“Something like this. But don’t worry, I don’t think it’ll happen often. That would be really sad,” he laughed a little and then looked at you somewhat longingly and you averted your eyes back to the sink, nodding.

.

.

You almost forgot about that and now it all come flooding back.

Something terrible must’ve happened. You were panicking, but you had to stay strong, for him.

He was still standing in your hallway, with a crossed index fingers pressed to his chest.

“Okay, okay..” you mumbled more to yourself than to him, taking his hands into yours and looking him up and down.

He really seemed.. disconnected. It was kind of scary and you tried so hard not to think about what happened. Or about who died.

“Here, come with me, Diego,” you led him by the hand towards your couch as he was holding onto you, but his usual grip was gone.

You both ended up on a sofa and you really didn’t know how to act around him now, because.. he didn’t talk, didn’t look at you but when he did, his eyes were wide and big and he just seemed suddenly like a small boy to you.

Hopefully he won’t remember this tomorrow, you thought and tried to smile a little bit at him.

“Okay. Can you get your hands up for me, baby boy?” You’ve decided to approach this situation as if you were just babysitting an overgrown child.

Because nothing bad happens to children normally, right? And if you kept thinking about him as usual grown man Diego, you’d lose your mind in the process, wanting to scream and shake him by the shoulders until he spills you what happened.

Being Diego’s friend pushed you to new limits each day, truly.

He didn’t bat an eyelid at your tone change and word choosing, just obliging and putting his hands up.

You helped him to get his knives down and put his black turtleneck over his head, so now he sat shirtless right next to you, hands still smeared with blood.

Goddamit the blood!

You took him by the elbows and lead Diego to the bathroom, where you helped to get the red out of his hands. At the sight of blood dripping down into the sink you deciphered a whimper from him, even through the sound of running water and looked up.

Diego couldn’t stop looking down at his hands and tears were running down his cheeks.

You quickly took his face into your wet hands from the water and forced him to look away and lock his gaze with yours.

“Hey, don’t look at it, okay? It’ll only make you stressed. Until I’m done you can just close you eyes, okay?”

“Oh-okay,” he said and just closed his eyes here and there.

You sighed and tried to finish washing his hands as fast as possible, cursing under your breath pretty often.

“I’m sorry..” you heard him mumble and when you looked up, his eyes were still shut.

“Nothin’ to be sorry about.. We’ll talk about this tomorrow, right? Don’t worry. You’re safe now,” you smiled as you were already wrapping his hands in a towel and his eyelashes fluttered, eyes opening.

You stayed looking at each other for a second longer than necessary, but then you already lead him away to the bedroom area, where you actually tucked him in, wrapping in a soft blanket and then rushed to the kitchen, grabbing a few cookies and then leaving it on a plate next to him on the night table. 

 You almost made yourself comfortable on the couch, when he suddenly called out your name from the bed.

You sprung to your feet, thinking he’s actually hurt but you didn’t notice or that- “Can you... stay with me? P-please?” he asked, disrupting your train of thought. You did expect this, but still felt really shy about that.

Diego is vulnerable right now and does need your help and presence though.

And there wouldn’t be anything you wouldn’t do for him.

“Sure,” and after this simple answer you carefully climbed in next to him covering you both with a blanket and he curled up closer to you, almost immediately falling asleep.

From one point of view it felt like you wouldn’t sleep at all tonight, but from the other one.. you actually fell asleep just as fast as he did.

.

.

To nobody’s surprise you woke up first and actually flinched at the sight of sleeping Diego inches from your own face.

Your mind went running with ideas what happened and what’s going on until you realised the real deal and your brain caught up to yesterday’s shenanigans.

It was a wild ride and you were thankful that now it’s - most probably - over.

Your eyes were subconsciously scanning his face, until you realised what you’re doing, but you didn’t stop even then.

You’ve never been this close to his face yet and now you could admire and explore every part of it.

Having feelings for a friend that’s laying in the same bed with you at the moment is really not the healthiest thing that could’ve happened to you, huh..

You actually froze and your heart started racing billion times faster when you realised that you have a weight of his arm around your waist, pulling you closer from his sleep.

He grunted and his nose was now in your hair, shuffling a little to get more comfortable.

You had no idea how to change positions, especially when being held by such a strong arm as his and you got a feeling like Diego might actually wake up just about now, so the best solution that came into your mind was to forcefully close your eyes shut and pretend that you’re still sleeping.

He did, indeed, wake up. You were suddenly pushed to the other side of the bed, arm disappearing from your waist and a waterfall of curses fell from his lips quietly.

You used up all your acting stamina to make a believable scene of you gaining your conscious from the deep slumber that you were obviously in, stretched your arms for a good effect and finally opened your eyes.

You immediately signed up for a staring contest as soon as you looked at him and smiled a little. His face remained unreadable but perhaps a little bit flustered?.. But you may be reading too much into it.

“Hi,” you said with a higher tone than intended and Diego just nodded at that.

You tried your luck by addressing the elephant in the room right away, you never liked ignoring the problems that were always looming over you, “care to tell me what happened yesterday?”

He drew a big sigh and rested his head back on the pillow, looking up at the ceiling.

You couldn’t stop looking at him. At first because you really wanted to know the mystery, but the longer you looked at him, the more you realised that you’re just admiring the beauty that he holds, until his words fell like a dead weight right onto your shoulders.

“I found Eudora’s body yesterday. I couldn’t get to the place in time and someone killed her.”

What?

It felt like what he said was simply a trick of your imagination. You liked Eudora yourself, she was a very intelligent and an interesting person, you two often hung out and that feeling didn’t cease even after you found out that she and Diego started dating.

And even when they broke up some months after, you still found your way to spend time with her. So did Diego.

You wanted to cry, but thought that it might be insensitive towards him, because he was much closer to her than you were, so you tried to swallow your forming tears down.

“I’m.. I’m so sorry, Diego..”

“It’s your loss too, I know it, y/n,” he looked at you with much softer look this time.

“Come here,” he said a little bit hesitantly and opened up one arm towards you.

This was unusual, but maybe last night’s events tore down some walls?.. Who knows.

You almost threw yourself into his embrace and once your forehead rested on his chest, you started crying.

From everything, honestly. There’s been problems at work, your seemingly unrequited feelings for Diego didn’t help much either and now you learned that you lost one of your friends.

He started rubbing circles on your back, just letting you get those emotions out, while you two were hugging each other on the bed in your apartment.

And as you slowly started to calm down, he said a gentle, “it’s gonna be okay. We’re gonna be okay”

[b1ksh88p]

Be Mine Chapter 2 ⛏

Plot: After a couple of days you gather up the courage to visit your new best friend!

Warnings: Angst

You couldn’t get the events of that night out of your mind. It all just felt too surreal. Whenever you passed your ex there were no hard feelings. In all honesty no matter what he’d do to flaunt in front of you affected you much. Your mind was only concerned with the events of that night. In all honesty you haven’t felt so jovial with anyone or anything for a long while. It was as if you’ve found your purpose or some long term something to look foreword to. You were determined to help the mysterious Harry Warden guy out. You just had to find a way to do it.

For days you’ve been stumped. Your mother always said the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach...what did he eat anyway? Did he have any preferences? You wouldn’t expect him to. The poor thing had been living off of dried rations and soot water for so long he would probably be grateful for anything. But still you didn’t want to mess this up. What if he had allergies? Breaking news! Woman kills serial killer with banana bread, justice served sweet by a deadly treat! In the end you went with some homemade honey bread, fresh apples, and cool water.

Before you could start your adventure into the mine you had stopped by the florist for a small bouquet of flowers. You made sure none of them were roses and even read about their meaning before purchasing them. The last thing you wanted was him getting offended by your gestures. From here your path was set. Or so you thought. Midway there the sherif stopped you.

“Morning, where you headed dressed all fany?”

“To the mines....”

“And what’s a pretty thing like you doing going to those filthy old mines with flowers for?”

You fight the urge to tell the old fart to fuck off and put on a toothless smile, lips barely curled as you fought back hellfire. “To honor the souls lost down there.” You say as innocently as one could lie. For a moment you’re sure he’s gonna tell you it’s to dangerous for a pretty little thing such as yourself to be in the mines but he shrugged.

“You be careful down there, and make sure not to go to far!” He called out as you quickly scamper past him.

Finally no distractions. A complete foreign panic ghost through your body as you stand between the weather front. It was like standing between heaven and hell. Only someone as optimistically stupid would enter the devils lair after barely escaping its clutches. You exhale before braving the stale air. The deeper into the lions den you went the stronger your agitation continued. Without liquid courage you felt like a sheep parading onto the slaughter. Every time you tried to hum or make any sounds to distract yourself you felt like you were being stalked. With it so dark would he know it was you? You continue onward before hitting a dead end. You sigh, perhaps he had went deeper than before into some hidden part of the mines you knew nothing of. Or maybe he was avoiding you on purpose. You much rather believe he was just busy doing whatever he liked to do and would leave the flowers and gifts down here for when he gets back. When you go to turn every fiber of your being seems to freeze.

Instead of a curious shadow you see the man practically charging at you at full speed! If not for the pickaxe you maybe could’ve thought he was running to give you a hug but he definitely didn’t seem like the hugging type! You were cornered. No loose rocks big enough to harm him, no abandoned mining tools to throw. You were completely fucked. As his form grew larger you ran through every possible way this could go down. Instead of picking a cool escape plan you panic and raise the basket whilst looking away. “ITS ME THE GIRL FROM VALENTINES DAY! IM SORRY I CAME BACK I-I BROUGHT YOU STUFF.” You yell. The steps slowed to a stumble but you didn’t dare open your eyes.

“Why are you back here?” Lucky for you he didn’t sound to angry! Yes a bit out of breath, annoyed, and confused but not in a homicidal rage.

You open your eyes and tear a smile from your trembling lips. “I told you I was going to repay you! See I brought some food and some yellow flowers, and uh-“ he doesn’t speak. He’s staring at you completely speechless. You wondered if this meant he was going to make you into miner beef jerky but he seems frozen...as if he’s short circuited.

In all honesty he couldn’t believe you had came down here on your own volition. And for what? Was this more of your empathy? Nonsense, what were your true intentions. Where you a reporter? You didn’t seem drunk like last time meaning you made up your mind to come to his personal hell.

You both kinda just stare at each other. Of course to you he’s glaring at you with homicidal intent so you feel like jello. “Is it the flowers? I know they’re kinda cheesy but I thought it could help...liven up the place.” Wow you were really bad at this whole not angering the six foot miner dude.

“I don’t care about the flowers or your gifts why are you back down here.” This time he sounded stern. Best not to sugar coat anything. Honesty was the best policy right?

“Well because you’re my friend! And friends look out for each other...”

“We aren’t friends. We aren’t even acquaintances.”

Your arms drop, the basket of goodies go down with it. Usually you were pretty good at handling your emotions. It came with the reputation. But something about him got to you, struck a nerve you didn’t know was there.

“Don’t you dare.”

It was coming

“C’mon stop it...”

Oh no there’s no stopping it they were coming

“Ok ok ok....thank you. This was very....thoughtful.”

And scene.

“I know. Everything’s homemade or homegrown.” You flaunt finding a flat surface to sit down on. You put the bread on a plastic plate and wait for him to join you. Instead he just stares...relentlessly. Had he never been to a picnic...like ever? You pat a spot and he slowly finds a comfortable position to sit in. You tear a piece of the bread off for yourself and get to munching. Maybe he needed a invitation to eat. He didn’t move. All he did was stare. “You know you can eat right?”

“Do you think I’m stupid?”

You flinch at his sudden hostility making things awkward. “I-I was just saying...you aren’t eating anything...” you huff.

“I’m not hungry.”

Bullshit! Full on what? Cave bugs and stale crackers? Was it about his face? “If it makes you feel any better I ca-“

“Why the hell would you care how I feel? Stop acting like you’re my fucking savior! I cried in front of you one time! That doesn’t make us friends and it sure as hell doesn’t make me not want to drive my pickaxe through your fucking throat.”

You were speechless. Everything in you was torn. The sane side of you wanted to cry and run away, but the stubborn dumbass side of you wanted to stay put. “Fine.” You stand up and dust yourself off. He doesn’t move from that spot, not even to look at you as you leave. When the warmth hit your skin you finally let some weakness show. You were shaking. Not only with fear but with frustration. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. How could you be so dull? Of course he wouldn’t like flowers and a meal. Maybe kind gestures were all in vain. You walk home with far less pep in your step as usual. At least with this chapter on your life closed you could try and focus on other things, although you’d be lying if you said he wouldn’t always be in your mind...

Harry Warden POV

Only when he was completely sure she was gone did he eat. Not hungry his ass he was fucking starving. But there was something eating at him. Something he hadn’t felt in a long time. That stupid look on her stupid little face as she walked away made his stomach turn. She didn’t even sound angry just...disappointed.

He waved it off and continued to viciously tear through everything she had provided. When he got to the bottom of the basket he was sure it was a napkin, but upon further inspection that sickening feeling returned. He unfolded the cloth and audibly groaned. She had cleaned and sewn it back to its formal glory, or at least as close as she could get to it. He could’ve possibly stomached the feeling if she had left it at that. In the middle where moths had eaten through it she had stitched a new patch. It had a little pickaxe on it. Now he recognized the stupid ass feeling.

It was guilt

[allforhader]

The Unexpected

Bill Hader x (F) Reader

Requested by: Anon

Warnings: Langauge

Bill having three kids already, he should be experienced in those stressful situations where you’re going to have to drop everything when your wife goes into labor. But he also didn’t plan for Y/N to not make it to the hospital when she delivered. LA traffic is a bitch.

——

When Y/N and Bill got married, they didn’t really plan ahead for anything. Bill went back to filming for Barry after their honeymoon and Y/N was a writer for the show so she had to get her job done. The two found few energy filled moments when they had a day off from Barry and when the girls were with Maggie.

The day Y/N found out she was pregnant she didn’t tell Bill right away. She needed to confirm it without relying on store bought tests. And she didn’t know exactly how he’d feel about having another kid. So it wasn’t until she was around three months when she finally wanted to tell Bill.

Y/N wanted to tell him before the work day started but he jumped right into filming and she didn’t know where to find room. Until Sarah Goldberg and D’Arcy Carden gave Y/N the wildest idea of having a surprised script change. The two only knew she was pregnant because Y/N told her mom over the phone as the two over heard.

“Yo! Hader, there’s been a script change” Sarah states handing Bill the new pages as he instantly looks at Y/N confused.

Y/N shrugs for the most part before standing beside Alec to watch the take be done.

“Was this your plan Y/N?” Alec asks her as Y/N rolls her eyes before whispering to him what’s going on. “Well, if he gets a heart attack from excitement. I’ll blame you”

“You’d blame me when I would probably have one if he does” Y/N gave Alec a look before laughing a bit. Alec moved his stuff from Bill’s director’s chair letting her sit. “Not my idea”

“Actors have crazy ideas. I’m not surprised that this came from the two” Alec states before nudging Y/N to look at Bill look at the script after rounding up who he needs.

“How much you want to bet he’s going to scream?”

“You want to make a bet on my husband’s reaction?” Y/N laughs a bit before relaxing. “Let’s not”

“Ok ok”

Bill stares at the two he got not really understanding how the scene they shot before lead to this one. Or where this scene will be but he froze when Sarah grabbed his shirt.

“You have no idea?”

“What?” Not scripted.

“This is going to be life changing! Get excited!” D’Arcy states as Bill stood there even more confused before looking down at the change.

Sarah suddenly took it from him when he was supposed to have it in the first place. Y/N face palms hearing Alec laugh.

“Get excited about what?!” Bill stares at the two as they have each other a look while the other actors for Barry grew confused on what the fuck was going on.

“Can I be first to say congratulations?”

“What”

The “script change” was really just Sarah and D’Arcy getting up in Bill’s personal space trying to see if he can connect the dots before stating the obvious.

“I did not write this, Im just gonna make that clear” Y/N tells Alec as he knew it was them. No brainer.

“Come on Berkman! How the fuck do you not know?”

“This is really exciting we heard it from your lover”

Bill really is oblivious and kept looking over at Y/N and Alec expecting something. But all he got was a shrug from Alec and a smile with a thumbs up from Y/N. Thanks. Very helpful.

“Can I Uh get the script back”

“Goddamn Berkman!”

“How did you not know she’s pregnant!” Fucking. Finally.

Bill stares at the two confused before being handed back the script and reading the last bit. He froze in place feeling like an idiot for not catching on, even though Sarah and D’Arcy at first weren’t helpful. He immediately looks over to Y/N watching her nod to confirm it as he started getting emotional. Bill handed the script back before quickly heading to Y/N and holding her in his arms crying happily.

“Should we call it a day?” Alec asks knowing for damn sure the two were having their moment. “Alright! We’ll pick up with the actual script tomorrow!” He states letting the two have the rest of the day.

So now Bill knows. It’s a good thing but something he didn’t take into consideration is, this is Y/N’s first and possibly only pregnancy. So even if Bill does know what he’s doing and is willing to take care of a lot of things in preparation. But when Y/N was finishing her second trimester heading into her third, she got extremely anxious over everything and would stay up unexpectedly startling Bill when he’d come home late.

“Shit-“ Bill whisper yells as when he closes the front door around 1 in the morning. Staying at the office to make adjustments to a few scenes, was a mistake.

Bill hangs up his jacket setting his keys down and before he could sneak up to bed. He stops seeing the shine of a screen distract him in the living room.

“Y/N...?” He asks walking around the couch seeing her sitting on the floor with her laptop on the coffee table open to a number of things. “Why are you awake?” He frowns moving himself beside her seeing the scariest shit he’s ever seen looked up about pregnancy. “Okay—Hey?”

“Hm...?” Y/N turns to him looking extremely tired as she was protectively holding her belly. “When did you get home?”

“Not even a minute ago. It’s one in the morning why aren’t you in bed?”

“Well, I was working on...a scene. Then got distracted by a number of things. Also you try growing a human. I can’t get up easily so I stayed here” Y/N sighs watching Bill get up moving the coffee table. He moves in front of her holding his hands out which she took to get help off the floor. “Did you know that 1.61% of births aren’t in a hospital?”

“That’s a very low percentage”

“It equals to 62,228 births, Bill”

“Okay and why are you looking that up?”

“What if I’m part of that one percentage”

“Y/N...I can promise you. When you go into the labor, you’ll make it to the hospital. I doubt you’ll have the baby in the backseat of my car”

“Are you implying that it’s a possibility?”

“Y/N. No”

“Bill it can happen. It probably would knowing my luck”

“What do you mean by that?”

“If you don’t agree with me I’m going to be even more anxious than I was before”

“We’ve gone over this...You get anxious when I do agree with you sometimes” Bill laughs a bit before bringing his wife into his arms. “I highly doubt you’ll have the baby in my car”

“Mmm...better prepare for that possibility Bill” Y/N sighs resting her head against his chest feeling him kiss the top of her head. “The baby is healthy and is on track. But one small thing can fuck everything up”

“Giving birth anywhere other than a hospital won’t fuck up everything. It happens. But still. I promise. It won’t. You’ll have our little one in the comforts of a hospital”

“Just know if fate says otherwise. I’m yelling at you”

“You were going to yell at me regardless baby” Bill smiles resting his chin on top of her head feeling her grip onto his shirt. “It’s going to be okay. Okay?”

“Mhm..”

When the time actually came, Y/N didn’t realize that her water had broke until Bill asked pointed out. Guess she didn’t think about it when it happened. Bill helped her into the backseat thinking she wouldn’t be cramped if she was in the front. He put the hospital bag in the passengers before starting to head to the hospital.

“Bill—“

“Just take deep breaths, we’ll be there soon—shit” Bill frowns seeing the traffic start to become bumper to bumper. “Shit. Fuck. Okay, how close are they?”

“U-Uh. Uhm. Shit—“ Y/N couldn’t really think at this point when she thought the contractions would be more elongated. But they were coming in more expectedly.

This baby isn’t waiting and Bill is trying to find a way out of this traffic and to the nearest hospital.

“I. Fucking—-Told you Bill”

“Y/N—I can’t predict the future!”

“But people—jinx it” Y/N moans in pain unbuckling herself which startled Bill but she knew they weren’t moving any time soon.

As traffic started to lift a bit, just enough for Bill to rely on surface streets. Y/N had already positioned herself comfortably in the backseat trying to “keep it in” until they get to the hospital. It wasn’t until Bill parked in the ER load off that Y/N couldn’t wait. Bill ran inside hurrying over to the nurse’s station.

“I uh. My wife is in the back of my car—She has the baby—“

“Someone get a wheelchair!” One of the nurse called as Bill stopped the nurse.

“She needs more than a wheelchair”

“Sir did your wife get hurt-“

“She had our baby in the backseat” Bill blurts out as the nurse he was talking to went to get an ER doctor for the time being along with a gurney before paging OB.

After two hours of making sure mom and baby were perfectly okay, Bill was let into Y/N’s hospital room finding a very tired wife holding a little bundle of joy wrapped in a blue blanket. The two wanted to be surprised and indeed it was.

“Sorry I killed your all girls streak”

“That’s the first thing you say...?” Bill laughs as the tears of joy started streaming down his cheeks kissing Y/N’s temple before admiring the little boy she’s holding.

“Told you Id be part of the one percent”

“Oh shut up” He smiles kissing his wife lovingly before climbing into the bed beside her.

Y/N instantly handed their little boy to Bill watching him still be shaky when he’s had three before this one. It was honestly and will always be an amazing experience. This one definitely having quite the story to it. Y/N rests her head on his shoulder looking down at their little boy watching him instantly ease into Bill’s arms.

“Wow. A natural” Y/N jokes as she smiles nuzzling close to her husband. “So, the third?”

“William Thomas Hader the third? Wouldn’t that be a mouthful?”

“Bill, really?”

“You know I’m just teasing”

“Mhm”

Bill couldn’t stop smiling at their son as after some time of holding him, Y/N had fallen asleep against him. He loves this, and can’t wait to start this new chapter.