#somehow all of this is going to a very toxic direction and i dont think my husband even notices

[xxlelaxx]

My daughter is in a screaming phase. She just spends the whole day shrieking and screaming and I have had the most terrible headache. The last night's she cried for a Minimum of two hours because of the teeth and today everything was fine. I did everything I could and it was fine. We fell asleep. I wake up 45 minutes later to her screaming again and I just can't take it anymore. I've had too little sleep and I've been around her for the last 3 days... Even when I was interacting with her she was still in the same room screeching. My husband complained after two hours and honestly next time he does I'm gonna tell him to shut up about it. I haven't stopped crying for an hour cause now I can't sleep again cause I'm so agitated. I hate mother hormones. I hate not being allowed to sleep. I hate headaches. I don't want to get up and finish all the chores.

[tmf-confessions]

I HAVE TO CONFESS IT. I HAVE TO SAY IT. GOSHDARNIT I HATE LANDER WITH EVERY BONE IN MY BODY- 😭😭😭

Okay, so, may get some slander for this but Let me explain myself first- Lander is literally the least developed, most emotionless relationship in tmf.

1. Its (pretty much) useless to the plot

Literally like, they’re supposed to be “super close”, they used to be childhood best friends and now they’re lovers! But like…When do we see that ever???

Lander was basically just an excuse to give luke some screentime, and to give zander some more screentime. I know that not everything has to be necessary to the plot of tmf, but in general, when things happen, especially in such a short series (less than 15 episodes in season 1), even filler content should somehow be able to push the plot forward, right? Apparently not, because Lander literally did nothing plot wise!

You could argue that yes, it did show Zander and luke that jake was a trustworthy, but theres so many other ways that he could have done it, without the whole lander arc, which could have arguably set up both characters for more interesting arcs?

Honestly, I feel like there could have been an arc where luke accepted stacy, and zander had to learn to deal with heartbreak, and it would still push the narrative in the same direction, could have had a lot more buildup too

2. It feels like it’s just there for representation

As a queer person myself, do not get me wrong, it is WONDERFUL to have representation within media, on bigger more popular shows too! I’m eternally grateful that rosy added them in to showcase a queer relationship, however, lander honestly feels like its just that. Like its there, JUST to showcase a real relationship.

Like, they had a cute confession moment, but it was so early on in the series that it genuinely didn’t seem like something that was built up to. Sure, we got a bit of time, but how much time was that? 2 episodes of build up tops? “Lovesick luke” and “a drummers confession” was like, literally it. Nothing beforehand to build up to it, besides the whole “Zander is gay” and “zander and luke are childhood best friends” thing, but those can exist within platonic relationships too, so thats not really buildup at all

We never get to see why they’re attracted to eachother, other than “wow, they’ve been friends for a while and admire eachother, they must have crushes on eachother” like- even as a person who is VERY VERY VERY romantically attracted (think opposite of aromantic, then scale it 20x past that), its just giving “boy and girl co-star on a show and end up together at the end because you cant have 2 friends be close without them being romantic,” but made queer.

Genuinely, if theres going to be a relationship, i think that (as much as i personally am not really a shipper of it) jailey is a WONDERFUL example.

They kind of grew on eachother, and we see that attraction growing slowly, rather than being shoved in our faces or being rushed. Its a well thought out love arc, and almost perfectly encapsulates a slowly formed relationship. even in such a short show, it didn’t feel rushed.

(While rereading this, i’m really notsure how to phrase my words, so these words absolutely do not reflect my ABSOLUTE feelings on this, but this is about as close as I can get with it. I am in absolutely no way accusing rosy of being homophobic, Infact i see quite the opposite in her, she’s a wonderful ally, its just meh writing)

3. Its honestly not the best ship? (This part is my opinion purely)

Dont get me wrong, they’re not toxic by any means, (infact, they seem quite healthy!) but they 100% have some issues they need to work on. Like… does no one notice how Luke like, threatened jake if he hurt zander? Obsession issues a tad bit, perchance?/notneg

Luke kinda exists to push zander’s story arc along in the first season, so we get like, no luke character traits, which i think definitely contributes to them not being the best pairing, but overall they’re so generically “mehh” of a relationship. They’re just kinda together, to be together.

4. FINAL REASON: It was just there to push jake’s story along.

Honestly, I think this is the underlying reason here. Jake is the main character in a really short show, so if somethings not revolved around him, its gotta be quick. Lander would definitely be so much better with more development, but because its not jake centred, we basically get nothing on them. This isnt rosy’s fault by any means, shes gotta get the main story in ofc, it just sucks that that seems to cost other characters screen time and development that could have been really nice.

Overall, Rosy please make more lander stuff in season 2, I need to stop hating it cause it could genuinely be so cute 🙏

confession #810

[brambletakato]

thank you for not putting the millionaires conspiracy last for the sound track! i feel like katrielle is over-hated and it makes me sad when people just automatically give the game last place in all rankings. i actually dont even think her game is the worst in the series (i personally give that honour to the ace attorney crossover). i feel like one of the only toxic parts of the pl fandom is the refusal to attempt to discuss any positive parts of that game. (also some of the comments ppl make about kat, especially on the reddit, border on misogynistic. but thats a discussion for another time)

i didnt think it was perfect by any means (e.g. i found many puzzles frustrating and the lack of resolution irritating) but there are some highlights! i actually really like the introduction of kat as a character and dont understand the common argument that flora should have been the mc instead (there can be more than one female character...). i enjoy the concept of solving multiple cases with an overarching link, even if the execution was pretty shoddy. it's a structure that makes sense with kat being a detective. in future games with kat i think it would be more enjoyable to have 1 main case with a proper story line like a normal pl game, but also have smaller cases to do on the side.

but yeah, it's an enjoyable but lacklustre game. and i want to be able to praise parts of it without feeling like a traitor towards the pl series lol

thoughts?

The Katrielle game soundtrack is genuinely one of my guilty pleasures, it's very sweet and charming and I like to listen to it idly :3c. It's sad that because the game isn't as great as the others that people might not give any other aspects of the game a chance.

That being said, I personally prefer PLVSAA over Katrielle's game and while I still put the game's plot/story on low-tier, I think the characters are very charming and I love them tons (I am still VERY curious about Sherl. Where's the lore Level 5. I love talking dogs I was raised on airbuds and would love to know if he's a distant relative ((JOKE)))

I also think the game would've been great if the execution was better, I like what you proposed with it having one main story line while having fun small stuff on the side! Speculation, but Decapolice might be going in a similar direction with how the layout and system looks like, so who knows?? Not necessarily tied with Professor Layton asides from sharing the same company but it comes to mind when I think of main plotlines with smaller missions

also more level 5 games where you can dress up the characters PLEAKKKKKKKK thats my deepest guilty pleasure. i love putting my guys in sparkly dresses thats my character flaw. actually PL always have great minigames whats up with that (the rabbit one comes to mind particularly... I wonder what they'll do for NWOS? There's gotta be a robot somehow)

Kat is an extremely cute concept! I like her a lot. I don't think I want another game about her anytime soon, but it's not out of hatred and more-so I just want that trust that they'll do her good the next time around (if there is one)

[septembersghost]

Before I begin I must say I am a swiftie.

I love Taylor. Her music means a lot to me. It literally helped me in a lot of ways. But her recent actions have actually genuinely is upsetting to me(not saying she has to live the way I want her to but I feel really sad). Its just........he is a very disgusting person. He is someone who was literally m@********* in public and made misogynistic comments.

My biggest fury with him was when he called harry a queerbaiter. It was extra hard for me because harry's acceptance was what made me feel peace about my sexuality. I am still figuring out my sexuality and it's mostly fluctuating. He was the first person I saw say 'you dont have to tick every box'. He said that when I was questioning myself for the 100th time. Because if you want to come out to everyone you need a label right! He made me realise it's okay to not know everything and it felt like a warm hug from a friend. And watching M@** ***** call that person a 'queerbaiter' angered me to extreme and 'almost' destroyed my self esteem wondering whether everyone around me thought I was faking for attention too. I know him and Taylor have been friends for a long time but her being romantically linked with someone like that and being so carefree about it while he has been linked to 100th warranted controversy makes me feel sick in the stomach. It makes me wonder if she's like 'I know the things he said/did but I don't care ' and it hurts me so much to even think she feels that way. I know she is a good person and all that but.....the Taylor who made me feel accepted about being the odd kid in the school or the one who understood about my fear of growing up seems so far away. I feel so hurt by the fact that I am feeling this. I think I need to take a distance from her and her art and I don't know how long will that be.

Sorry if I bothered you with such a long paragraph but I feel you can understand this better than anyone here

hi love, i apologize it took me all day to answer this! so i'm going to be honest, i've been thinking about this specific situation ever since the first rumor surfaced, but i didn't address it since i know it sounds like fan-based bias, even though to me it's a larger issue than that.

let me digress for a moment - i've seen a lot of his fans try to defend the n*zi salute as "satire," and that it wasn't meant to be antisemitic, but as a jewish person, i find this deeply troubling, because, even as edgy ~performance art~, using such a direct symbol of hate is never okay (in conjunction with a lyric referencing someone who's been virulently antisemitic in public - and yes, the lyric itself is satirical criticism, but the combination of the two is unsettling, to say the least). it's concerning and it's hurtful and it's inappropriate, full stop. his non-apologies for his grossly racist and sexist comments are as well.

his antics onstage (i have to laugh at the raw steak thing somehow being a criticism of "toxic masculinity"...bro. what?) also cross a line from being performance art to being. ick. (UGH i'd forgotten that other incident you mentioned because it's gross and i blocked it from my memory. just. WHY!!!)

in truth, i had no idea who he was and had never even heard his name (though i was aware of the 1975, i never listened to them) until their album came out last year and suddenly he was spouting off everywhere and doing things and fans began to speak about the old rumors of he and taylor (which i dismissed out of hand, but now. idk). everything i've learned since has been against my will tbh.

which brings us to that awful queerbaiting comment. if you've followed me for any length of time, you know this is a particular hot button issue of mine, i just get incensed at the way that term is misused and weaponized against real people, and harry gets it in a particularly disgusting way because certain sections of the internet seem to feel a superiority complex in tearing him down for existing. never once has harry claimed to be a bastion of queerness or a trailblazer of fashion, and yet he's criticized for...what exactly? being himself? dressing however one chooses without being boxed in by gender expectations is exactly what we're meant to be aiming for, isn't it? not demanding someone's label and identity is supposed to be part of championing the community, isn't it? his choice to remain unlabeled matters. not only because it's no one's business but his own, but also because BEING an unlabeled/mspec person IS itself a whole identity. what matty said about this was appalling and WAY over the line, and particularly disrespectful since they're supposedly friendly. he had no right to make the comments that he did. he should've received more criticism for it than he did (and had he attacked anyone but harry, he probably would have).

(i wish what adam lambert said in response had gotten more traction. Automatically labeling looks and performances that aren’t cisheteronormative as queerbait is “almost underestimating the intelligence of gay people.”)

you feeling enraged and hurt by that is understandable, and you have every right to feel that way. it touches my heart to read that harry has helped you feel more at peace with your sexuality. i've mentioned before that i've grappled with what exactly mine is too and where i fall on whatever spectrum, and just the idea that we don't even HAVE to put a concrete definition on that, or that it's allowed to be fluid, is a relief. i also feel like there's a huge amount of bias where people forget that just because you haven't been in a relationship with someone of ___ identity/gender doesn't mean your own identity isn't real! you DON'T have to tick every box, and you ARE allowed to expand or change along the way, and you're still you and still valid! nobody has to have one set label forever, and nobody else is owed that explanation from you!

He made me realise it's okay to not know everything and it felt like a warm hug from a friend. 🥺💕💕�� this is so sweet and i feel confident he would be touched by it too.

i am SO sorry that what matty said hurt you the way that it did, it was a reckless, thoughtless thing of him to say, and you and every other person who is working out their identity or who feels confident remaining unlabeled deserves better than him cruelly running his mouth. (which i also think had a level of jealousy in it, because, let's be honest here - he's never going to be harry, success-wise, and he also admitted harry declined to perform at his show, so). matty has frustrated and upset me on multiple occasions since i became aware of his behavior, and you're allowed to feel that way.

regarding taylor, as i said earlier, of course we have no control nor input over what she does or who she associates with, and much as we may love her, she is just a flawed human being too and she has made mistaken choices, and has overlooked behavior from others that perhaps she shouldn't have, or that we wouldn't ourselves, but only she can make those decisions for her life. i've seen a lot of disgust and concern over this on my dash, and i'm with everyone on all of that, but at the same time i think it's a bit of a wake-up call that she is her own autonomous woman whom we do not know personally, and we have to find our own ways to approach that boundary. if that means ignoring this until it blows over, if that means taking space away from her for a while, if that means making silly jokes. i think as long as we're not harassing others (which you would never! <3 but the uptick in cruel anons/death threats that have happened this past month make me sad and i wish everyone could take a breath and...not do that!), however we choose to deal with it is the best we can do. i tend to suspect she's been going through it, and maybe this won't last long, but that doesn't make it a great look nor is it unconcerning. regardless, you should do what's best for yourself and look out for your well-being. if that means detaching for a while, i promise it doesn't make you a bad fan, even though i know that hurts ("the Taylor who made me feel accepted about being the odd kid in the school or the one who understood about my fear of growing up seems so far away." though i'm older than you, this happened to me in my own sense during my 1989 disconnect. i really do get it, and seeing a similar pattern here is a bit painful). i also want to say that i think, knowing what we do know about her and her character and kindness, she'd still want you to feel accepted and loved, and wouldn't align with the trashy things he's said and done, but i understand why willingness to overlook it hurts as well.

thank you for confiding in me and letting this out, i know it's hard to talk about and feeling distanced from an artist with such meaning to you is a specific ache. the only advice i can give you is to step back however you need to, for however long you need to. whether you feel comfortable still holding onto her music but separating from her personally (and/or from tour), or whether you need space from all of it for a while, remember that it's always going to be there, and you can always come back. in the meantime, you can also turn to places and artists that are continuing to give you comfort (like harry, and i'm so glad he is that for you).

for what it's worth, i love you and i know your identity is worthwhile, and YOU are worthwhile, and you deserve to feel safe and embraced and seen. anywhere you go, you don't need a reason. 💛💛💛

[tendebill]

I love your silly guys (your OCs) so much

I am spinning them in my brain

WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO RAMBLE ABOUT THEM. I WILL RAMBLE ABOUT THEM (literally just looking for an excuse to infodump!!!!! utilizing your lovely asks bestie, hope you dont mind <3)

anyway im thinking about chapter 1 a lot (and ignoring how chapters 4-6 are barely thought out) and uh um.

So basically Nicolas Nevers can go fuck himself. I created him and he is vital to the story, blah blah blah, I despise him <3.

My intention with him is that he starts out as a kind of... mentor/caretaker figure for Seph & Ellie?? I want the story to start out with a lot of fantasy "stereotypes" that are either flipped/twisted or turn out to be lies, and Nick is no different. He is the reason why Ellie and Seph both have these powers which they were never supposed to have. He lies about it to them and everyone else to cover his ass, makes up a prophecy for them, hoping they wont catch on (spoilers: sephoras eventually catches on), sends them off for "adventures" so they dont cause him more problems and expose his lies and deceptions, the list goes on. His entire career is a very carefully woven, but extremely fragile web of lies, bribery and cashed-in favors, and YET-

Somehow he is never publically exposed for all of his bullshittery. Worse yet, Sephoras isn't even the one that gets the satisfaction of killing him, Huen does (everyone say thank you Huen) at the end of chapter 2.

I actually want to make it a point in chapter 6 (underdeveloped as it is) that, as opposed to David, Sephoras had no real place where he could direct his anger. No way to enact "revenge". What I mean is, when Seph killed David's wife (for context: he wasn't fully in control of himself and he would never have done it in his right mind, but it was OBVIOUSLY enough for David to want to kill him, dead is dead, plus it traumatized them both, David watched it happen too, plus his toxic masculinity and anger issues made it so that there was no other way for him to react BUT trying to kill seph), in Seph's mind, that gave David a free pass to hurt Seph in any way he wanted. Seph was of the opinion that he deserved what he got and had no right to feel sorry for himself or resent David for it. In turn, his guilt made it so that most of the people that had hurt him were "off-limits" to him in terms of getting revenge or anything of the sort. He didn't deserve anyone's forgiveness, empathy and he CERTAINLY didn't deserve to get revenge.

Nicolas was the ONLY person he would have wanted to get revenge against. The only person he felt he could "bring to justice" and whatnot. The only man worse than him. The cause of this whole shitshow (literally, if not for Nick, none of the plot would have happened).

But like I said, Huen was the one to kill Nick in chapter 2, so Seph never got the satisfaction of doing so himself.

HOWEVER. I recently added on to this detail :))))))) I made it worse btw.

Like I said, Nick's reputation remained intact even after his death. No one (besides Seph ofc) really cared to expose him post mortem, and even so, hardly anyone knew the EXTENT of his lies and deceptions and faults. Sephoras knew the most, Huen did too, as he had told her, plus a couple of other characters, but he never really told Ellie the full story, not until MUCH later.

Which is where chapter 4 comes in. Ellie and Seph are trying to gain back each other's trust, but their relationship is falling apart, ripping at the seams in so many ways. They don't know each other anymore, they are not the same as they once were. Seph feels like he doesn't deserve a second chance and so he doesn't fight for it, he doesn't give Ellie reasons to trust him again. Ellie tries desperately to hold onto the image of Seph she had from BEFORE all this shit had happened, when he was still their brother and everything was easier, bathed in Nicolas' lies and their naive belief in what he had told them.

At some point Seph spills the beans about Nicolas, everything he'd done and lied about, how much he'd really manipulated them and Ellie is PISSED. They find out how much they let that man decieve them and they dont know what to do with that rage.

They relize he was never exposed. That he is still hailed as a martyr and a "good man who died a tragic death". They expose him publically on their own.

And so Nick's reputation goes to shit. As does Seph's only way of getting revenge on a dead man. Ellie takes that from him. He tells himself he didn't deserve the satisfaction of being the one to expose Nevers to the public, that Ellie had a right to do it. But it doesn't make him any less angry.

And so, like I said, Seph never really gets his revenge on Nevers. While David was able to take out his anger on Seph all he wanted, Seph was forced to suffer with all his anger directed at a man long dead, unable to do anything about it. The one man that hurt Sephoras more than Sephoras had hurt him. Dead and defamed - no thanks to Sephoras.

i love my sillies and i love their silly adventures and theres so much i wanna say about them but alas i dont want to write 15 essays in one post.

[flyingspicerack]

🤖 here!!!

Yoooo nah nah nah ur so correct on the orb heating up.... so cuteeee wahhhh

ALSO THE SPICY STUFF... 😳😳 going insane for it..... love it love it love it.

I've been feeling not too well the past couple days so ima talk about more soft and wholesome stuff.... he knows and can tell when ur anxious but he doesn't really.... know how to comfort people? I mean being around for so long and not getting close to anyone definitely did not help BDJSB. So he just kinda. Tries to make you laugh or even some fun teasing and stuff!!! Idk!!! I'm so normal about him.

Also quick note about the way his mushroom cap is animated because I'm insane: his head turns are so much more smoother than the others in the gang? Like the animation is pretty smooth regardless but his seems more refined which makes me think that either A) the animation team went really in depth to animate his body cause its different than the typical human puppet or B) its a 3D model?? Which is also my theory for the final episode of Part 1 with Bear-O, where it straight up looks like a 3D model was smacked into there. It's pretty cool.

More insane stuff I think about: Brett and Myc have soooo many parallels. Like. They were both bullied and/or outcasted and more hypersensitive to others but they went in two completely different direction and I think about it a lot? I've been wanting to post an analysis on it but. Beweh.... tired. Like Brett needs to have everyone like him whereas myc just went "Fuck you guys!" And peaced out. I'm so normal for this show.

Omg i hope u feel better! And i will indulge you with my Myc ramblings 💗

Oh he sooooo does not know how to comfort people. I think his immediate response to feeling bad and negative emotions (like sad not angry) is to retreat and get away from it, they make him uncomfortable and he wants to get out of the feelings as soon as possible! Buuuut once hes with his s/o, he eventually realizes he needs to help somehow, but he doesn't know how!!! So, he will just sit in their company, like, be around them and just hold, let them vent or wallow, and like u said, crack jokes. (Hes just like me fr)

The 3d model thing is an interesting headcanon to have! I personally dont agree and think the animation is just like that, its smooth and fluid. Comparable to how smooth all the particle effects are in the show.

AND YES! Wow! Agreed!! I also really think it has to do with WHO bullied them as well, with their reactions!! Brett, bullied by his family, HAD to trust them because theyre his family and he doesn't know any better, ALSO dealt with it in a more healthy way. Myc on the other hand, bullied by peers, knew he could leave and get away from the situation but held onto that in a very toxic way.

AHHHHHH ANON UR SO GREAT TO TALK TO THANK U

[omiscurls]

Diluc, zhongli and childe reaction to their s/o breaking up with them after something they said, maybe after a week or so after they argument they think the s/o forgave them but they break up instead? I WANT THE ANGST

consequences

plot: reader decides to break up with the character after not speaking to them

contains: diluc, zhongli, tartaglia (idk how am i going to do this to my special boy but ill try my best)

warnings: angst, breakups, implied past toxic behavior

a/n: OH MY GOD THIS WAS SO HARD- I DONT HAVE THE HEART TO BREAKUP WITH PEOPLE

diluc

hopeless thoughts ran through your head as you fought with yourself about wether to enter angel’s share or not, hand halfway through to the doorknob. your mind hadn’t been made up just yet, you were still in between two very different scenarios - the urge to forgive him for his hurtful words growing stronger each day, as anger and other emotions subdued to loneliness and the feeling of a part of you missing, ever since the two of you stopped talking.

your mind flashed back to the exact moment when you looked into diluc’s eyes, always so soft and calm for you, forming a way of anger he never expressed towards you before. to the feeling you got right then and there that this man is not the same one you’ve met and fell in love with.

the process of coming to terms with that conclusion was as painful as the first strike of his angry glare, and even though he seemed to have realized the weight of his words right after saying them out loud, no matter how hard you tried, you could not erase them from your memory.

one strike of that pain, one memory of that night was enough to make you go through with your plan, door to the bar opening with a little screech.

it was like just another late afternoon, with charles tending the bar, knights and townsfolk filling the hot room, and the smell of alcohol traveling through the air.

“hi” you said to the bartender “is master diluc around?”

charles, busy with his work, quickly replied that he’s out back, opening a barrel. you nodded and went where his directions guided, pushing open yet another door to see the back of the man you loved, looking just as always from this angle, working over said chore. he didn’t even seem to mind the fact that someone walked in on him working.

“diluc” you said with a sigh, and he almost immediately turned around, tools falling from his hands and onto the ground.

“darling, hi” he replied quietly, walking over to you but stopping half way, eyes set to analyze your expression, figure out what was going on in your mind. “i’m glad you’re here safely, i haven’t heard from you in over a week” he added cautiously, as if weighing every word before deciding to say it out loud.

“well” you sighed again, once again going over wether you should actually break things off right then, mind taking pity on his troubled expression, tired eyes, on the obvious eyebags that were much more apparent than before, a sign that he didn’t catch too much sleep. “i had to come to terms with what i’m about to say”

he wanted to tell you he was sorry, he really did, but words didn’t seem to come out of his throat. obviously he was sorry, it was a bad day and he meant none of what he said, but you knew that, right? you knew he always cared for you and loved you… right?

he wasn’t the best with words, hence, the idea of apologizing with a gesture after you were done teaching him his lesson came to mind. a brilliant idea, one could never go wrong with a thoughtful deed for their significant other, just give him one more chance.

“and my conclusion is, we need to take a step back and… reevaluate things in our lives. i’m not saying this is the ultimate end, but what you’ve said, and how you’ve said it made me realize…”

you were making a good point. you were talking about your feelings. he should listen, but the only thing he heard was the blood pumping through his veins, and the two single words

the end

so there won’t be another chance? he won’t be able to prove himself? what do you mean, the end? the best thing that ever happened to him in his sad life was coming to an end because of him? but he was so careful, he treated you like his treasure, because that’s how he truly felt, like his lifeline, something he could never lose…

and all it took was one sentence too much, one glare too intense. for the first time in what, six, maybe seven years, his eyes began to water, as he blinked the tears back at a rapid pace.

“… and that was a shitty thing to do. i hope you know that. i don’t know if i had anything else i wanted to say, perhaps i did, but… that’s all. see you around, i guess” you mumbled, loosing confidence in what you were saying, taking one last glance at his lost eyes before turning around.

turning around from him, from the love of your life, was perhaps the hardest thing you ever had to do, and yet you did do it.

before you could reach the door again, though, a cold hand caught your forearm. your eyes met his, with just a glimmer of hope that he would magically say all the right words and somehow make you stay, you didn’t want to leave, yet knew you had to. if you wanted to preserve the respect you had for yourself, you had to leave.

why were you giving him time to say something?

his helpless gaze seemed to speak with a thousand words, begging, pleading you to not leave through that door, but as much as his lips did part, not a single word left.

he couldn’t say anything to hold you back, and you ripped away from his grip, turned, and walked away.

and just like that,

he was all alone, again.

he was gonna need a drink.

zhongli

tears flooded your vision, blurring every details of zhongli’s face, causing you to only see a pale color palette, instead of your favorite person, ever. maybe it was for the best, maybe it would make it easier, you thought, but that was a foolish thing to hope for.

even through the salty tears, you could make out his eyes, it’s glow never failing to guide you, and comfort you, now seeming to burn their way through you, through your body and soul.

“you’re stuck in another love, zhongli, we both know that!” you exhaled a bit louder than you intended to, the outcome sounding more like an accusation than a fact. “how can you ever say you love me, when it’s so obvious, and so apparent, that every time you look at me, you see someone else? you HOPE for someone else?”

you could only wish the words you spoke didn’t come out as a complete mess, because of those tears you were constantly choking on. desperation seeped through your voice, as the feeling of helplessness rose every time you looked at your lover and at the anguish, and confusion he presented.

how could he make this so hard? it’s not like you’ve presented some statement he didn’t know already, right?

you hoped your eyes would say all the things you didn’t trust your voice to. you hoped he’d somehow hear how all you ever wanted was to be enough, was to meet his standard, how it tore you open that every time he said <i love you> his eyes wandered everywhere but onto yours, how all his touches seemed absent, how all his compliments were truly about some other face, some other smile, some other kind soul.

the worst part was, how could you blame him? how can anyone, ever, blame someone for being in love, of all things? love was something beautiful, and once you’ve experienced it, you’re drowned in it forever, and don’t even want to see the surface again.

love is beautiful. when you��re the one who’s receiving it. love was beautiful, to you, too, when you loved how his wisdom flew through his words, how his kindness hugged your spirit, how his aura brought you comfort. you loved his eyes, you loved his cheeks, his lips, every single detail of his skin.

the love you felt made you complete, made you warm, until you finally realize the thing you should’ve seen much sooner.

that you were merely a mirror for him to look at someone else, someone long gone.

suddenly all the warmth you felt was directed back at you, burning you inside, making you wish you never felt it in the first place.

“aren’t you gonna say something?” you whispered.

his long fingers found their way to your hand, but you snatched it away.

if you fell onto his charms now, you wouldn’t be able to get out once more.

his breath hitched as he gathered himself to speak

“i want nothing more than to love you” he said, although quietly, it rang through your ears like the loudest of screams.

you scoffed.

“we both would’ve wanted that, then”

“and i’m sure i can, if you just—“

now, laughter was all that you were capable of letting out.

“zhongli, you can’t train yourself to love someone. and even if you could, then how do you think that would make me feel? like i’m so unlovable you had to force yourself through it to grow accustomed to a feeling similar to love?”

“that’s not what i—“

“that’s what it means! let it go, please, please just… let me go” you sighed, standing up from the bench over at liyue harbor that you were sitting on. the sun has begun to set on the other side of the sea, and you couldn’t help but notice, it would’ve been the perfect date.

“i do sincerely hope you’ll find someone who’ll love you just the same” he finally stated, as he gave up on trying to make you stay.

“why?” you chuckled “so i could make them suffer the same way you made me?”

tartaglia

(archons give me strength)

you found nothing but guilt, looking into the endless ocean trapped in his eyes. for the first time in forever, they glistened, but not with a spark of joy, like you always hoped they would, they shone a sickly shine, caused by a thin layer of tears, that didn’t dear to spill over his porcelain cheeks, almost as if afraid of making contact with the ruthless face of the number eleven of the fatui harbingers.

he could’ve easily been crying if only he let himself go. he would’ve been in tears, sniffing and coughing, but he just… wasn’t. he held those tears in the gates of his eyes, as if his life depended on it.

the guilt you found inside them, wasn’t his, but yours. you felt guilty, watching this composed, confident man fall into pieces right before you, crumbling before your sight. why were you doing this? you seemed to forget all those terrible things you’ve heard just from the way his irises begged for forgiveness and brows furrowed in inexplicable sadness.

but you couldn’t, no, this time you couldn’t.

“my word” you swore on dear life you’d burst into tears if your voice shook right now “my word is final. we’re over. and that’s… that’s it. you need to understand that there won’t be another chance.”

the moment his lips parted, you knew you were lost.

“i have told you so many times already, but i will say this as much as i need to, it will never happen again! i swear, on everything i love and everything that i am, i swear on life itself, i won’t ever let that happen again! you know i won’t! come on, i promise you, if there’s anything you can say about me is i do keep my promises, don’t i? darling, please…”

“promise yourself to heal and become better, first” you stated coldly, watching faith disappearing slowly from his fixed look.

“im sorry, you know i am, im sorry, im sorry, im so fucking sorry!” a scream left his throat as desperation took over both reason and self-respect.

“sorry isn’t gonna cut it”

“then what will? i’ll do anything, anything in the world, anything to prove myself to you. i get that you can’t love me, i understand that, but please, let me win your trust again.”

he said unnaturally calmly, compared to what he did before, and you got concerned immediately.

i understand that you can’t love me, his words rang through your head. oh god, what were you doing? guilt stroke again, right at where you felt your heart to be.

right when you wanted to turn around and leave, he must’ve sensed that, and pulled you into a tight embrace. not suffocating, as they often describe it, not toxic and desperate, but… as loving as every other hug you’ve ever received from him. as calming and grounding, even though you could feel his heart racing. he didn’t refuse for you to leave, he didn’t trap you.

you understood after a while,

he was saying goodbye. all the love trapped inside his heart seeped out onto you, all his feelings surrounding and engulfing you.

“let me promise you this” he whispered, voice shaking painfully “the next time i’ll see you, i’ll be a better man. someone you will be able to be proud of, someone worthy of both your trust, and love. i won’t stop until i’ll be enough for you to look at me without the disgust and fear you have now. i promise. i’ll be better.”

“until then, then.” was the only thing you were capable of saying before leaving.

as soon as the door shut behind you, you rested against a wall and covered your mouth with a hand, unable to hold your tears any longer.

you heard a cry through the door. so he does have some feelings left, after all

your daily reminder that requests are open [here]

[lesbiansforboromir]

What are the differences between the book version of boromir vs the movie?

Where to begin babe! I mean the short answer is they are simply not the same character. If something applies to film-boromir then don't apply it to book-boromir and you'll probably have it right, and vice versa.

Film Boromir's obsessed with Aragorn and his being King? Book Boromir makes one single comment when pressed about how if the King could somehow help them in the war, he'd be welcomed. And he never mentions it again. As for Aragorn himself, Boromir is polite and even amiable with him but really Aragorn has very little impact on him. Brother? Captain? King? Fake words put into film-boromir's mouth, Book Boromir's last words were for his people, to tell Aragorn where Merry and Pippin went, to say he failed. Boromir wasn't frustrated that Aragorn himself was conflicted about going to Minas Tirith or saving 'out people', he was frustrated that the fellowship's decisions were making HIS road home more difficult. He was going to go alone back to Gondor, no matter what Aragorn decided to do, he just didn't care.

Film-Boromir saying his father's rule is failing? Taking Faramir's side in this film-manufactured toxic relationship between him and his father? Boromir and Faramir having an uncomplicated and good relationship where Faramir loves him unconditionally? Absolutely false. Faramir is book-boromir's harshest critic, he cannot put two sentences together about Boromir without making some comment about how reckless or war-loving he was, how he was 'too like the rohirrim' etc. And Boromir supports his father, it's not even in question, it's never even brought up. Of course he does, they've been working together for a decade or more very successfully in the defense of their people.

Film Boromir loudly proclaims 'Gondor will see it done' when he joins the fellowship in this big bravado speech? Boromir in the book doesn't even verbally agree to go with the fellowship. The only thing he's agreed too is to come with them as far as his city, no more, and that agreement is made off camera and told to us by Aragorn at some point. He is literally just trying to get home and that way happens to be the same direction he THINKS the fellowship is going. It's his declared intention the entire way. He JUST needs to go home.

Film Boromir is obsessed with the ring the whole way? Aragorn nearly kills him on Caradhras? Book Boromir asks at the council, calmly, why they dont use it. Elrond answers him and he accepts that answer. He is then completely reliable all the way until Lothlorien. On caradhras he saves them all by insisting on bringing firewood, lighting fires, pulling frodo out of the snow when he collapses and forging a path through the snow for all of them to get down again. It's only after galadriel puts the idea of using the ring in his head that he can't stop thinking about it but that's another post of mine.

Film Boromir is ever loud? Sad? Nervous? Awkward? Absolutely fabricated. Book Boromir never says a single feeling beyond sardonic concern and muted frustration. He is reticent, he is competent, he is confident in his abilities, he is focused on his goals, he is kind and he makes self deprecating and teasing jokes but he is never awkward and the only time he raises his voice is when Gandalf reveals that he doesn't know the way into Moria and the wargs are gaining on them!

Film Boromir makes a SPEECH? About reclaiming Osgiliath for light and music or whatever? Utterly insane firstly, Osgiliath was not reclaimed in an epic triumph just before Boromir left. It was taken entirely by Minas Morgul and Boromir retook the western half, saving Minas Tirith from a siege for that entire year. It was a desperate and pyrrhic victory that left thousands dead and required Boromir to swim the whole damn 3 mile wide river back, who is celebrating this? I hate that scene it robs Gondor of it's desperate struggle so entirely I can hardly breath about it. But also Boromir doesn't care about reclaiming Osgiliath's light and music or whatever! Boromir is interested in people and keeping people alive, history holds no wonder to him. 'Today life is good' no it wasn't! It was an absolutely terrible day! Boromir lost so many friends!

I could actually go on but I have to end here I'm very weak and feeble, the point is Boromir in the books is not the same character as boromir in the films and they simply cannot be melded without major rewrites and fixing the scenarios and relationships that the film made make no sense. Boromir from the books would say and next to none of the things film boromir does, barring that one 'they have a cave troll' line it's the only one that suits him.

[yuria1]

Ok i think i have ascended to new levels of simp with this guy, i have never simped as hard for anyone than i do for this toxic ratman like pls even him killing me will be a blessing at this point

Ughh smoke into my mouth . Blow a ring and i'll suck it up istg😩👌

Like why is everything he does so fucking suave like pls even him looking in my general direction will bring me to my knees

Omg i cant even- i would literally beg him to fuck me right then and there i dont care if he brought me there for business, as punishment for not paying up for something, or whatever it is. If i see him i'm gone. My brain is mush. He could very well kill me afterwards for the audacity of what i'm asking but i'd still ask. Let him kill me, at least he looked at me like this i'd die happy.

He'd be so done with me but if i somehow got under his employment like fuck it i'd try to compliment him whenever i can on whatever i can. He holdin a sigarette? Compliment his pretty, long fingers. Looking to the right? Compliment his side profile. I'd compliment his arms, wrists, legs, shoulders, scar(obviously), eyes (either or both), hecc even his ass (and if by some miracle i haven't been killed yet i probably would then lmao) and i'd love every second of it.

He'd probably (and hopefully) take notice of me not kidding very fast and if he hasn't killed me i assume either doesn't mind or is into it as well and either would be fine tbh.. but the last is preferred ofc~

Alskd but me being the simp i am i would definetly jump in front of him before any danger could befall him during fights or scuffles and if he got even a little attached to me he'd berate me for it (which i'd love) like yes for you i'd be anything lmao

Thats probably also why i'd ask again at that point with him hopefully saying yes XD although he'd definetly look at me weird. Like "seriously? Is this woman still going on about that?" Has she seen my eye?

Alskdk but look at him you cannot not want to idk what he's going on about but i actually prefer him without the concealer and i'd tell him as such.

Like ugh even when chocked he is way too hot 😩✋ whats wrong with me. If this wasn't a trauma point for him i'd choke him very lovingly any day.. hecc maybe i still will if he somehow turned the trauma into a weird form of kink

But silco dying though, i would not let that happen at all. Like i'd probably find a way to bring him to a doctor or something and try and save his life lmao..

And my brain still refuses to believe this scene happened at all btw XD. Like in my head jinx just went back, found that her bullets didn't leave him that wounded, just knocked tf out from bloodloss, but still alive. And she'd just rush him to singed's like he'd done for her once. . Yeah i'm in denial and i can't get up. But what can u do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyhow that was my weirdly long TED-talk on how much i simp for silco. Thank you for listening and i'm sorry for anyone actually reading this far lmao i've made this way too long

[sserpente]

Ok, i dont have anyone to talk to about the new episode of Loki, so imma dump my thoughts here (please), what are your thoughts?(thank you)

I just wanna say that I aint here to gatekeep or hate on any thought, my feelings and opinions are my own.

Ok, the first thing I gotta say is: why did, whatever moment Loki and Sylvie had, make a nexus? By the TVAs own rules, nothing they did should have made a blip cause they were still on/at an apocalypse.

Next bit is that i dont understand the hardcore leaning the episode had to ship Loki and Sylvie. Like, personally i dont think the ship makes sense, but that aside, why would Loki, a dude who keeps his emotions close to the vest, fall in love with anyone in a 12 hour period. Thats like a fanfic oneshot writing right there.

And even *if* they did have a romantic relationship, why does that matter? Loki has love. He loves his mom, brother, and even jerk face Odin. So platonic love isn't enough? It *has* to be romantic love for it to mean something?

Good on Mobius and 15 for taking a step towards rocking the boat.

And while I did think that the Sif bit was a bit harsh (again being told he is alone AND physical pain), it was nice to see a reference to mythology stories.

I heard rumors that a season two could already be green lit. If its true, i hope Tom can come back so we can have more of his take on the character.

Okay, I'll go through this because I've seen quite a few reactions like yours to this episode, so here are my thoughts and I hope they'll help! ♥

So, I assume that their connection and feelings for one another (whether they're romantic or not) are so strong they could create that Nexus Event. Loki also said that they may lose but never die so maybe that hope and strength also helped with the Nexus event--it was so strong that it actually created a branch even though they were in an apocalypse! But maybe we'll got more information on that in the next episode!

I freaked out about it and I seriously thought he was going to kiss her. It makes sense to me, somehow. While Sylvie is the Goddess of Mischief and hypothetically a Loki Variant, technically she was born as the Goddess of Mischief because of an event that we still don't know about--so there's still some secrets around her character. So what I'm trying to say is that Sylvie has always been her own person and never just a "photocopy" of Loki himself. So technically, just because Mobius claims he fell in love with another version of himself, that doesn't necessarily mean that's 100% what it is.

I don't see what's wrong with fanfic oneshots? 😅 I must say, I don't really like that comparison, love. That makes it sound like fanfiction is some low-quality fangirly work to quench our Loki thirst. You probably didn't mean it that way but MEEEH, I disagree with that comparison completely!

Listen, I completely understand your point. It happened so fast. But you know what? I bought it. 100% I bought it. Maybe that's purely because of Tom's marvellous acting but it's actually more than that. I write romance novels myself and yes, in most cases it doesn't make much sense to have the protagonist(s) fall in love within a day and kiss and live happily ever after. But it always depends on the situation and when I watched the episode I did not once get the feeling "how did this happen so fast". So I sat down and thought about it and the conclusion I came to is the following: Yes, Loki has only known Sylvie for a very short time. But she is the Goddess of Mischief. She is just like him but different. Loki has finally met someone who resonates with him, someone who went through similar things. I feel like part of Loki feels like he has known Sylvie for much longer (and he has because she's ALSO the Goddess of Mischief) which is how he could develop feelings for her so quickly (plus, Loki admitted that this is new to him, that he's never had anything "real"... I think it's overwhelming for him. If Sylvie turns out to be his love interest then it's probably the first time for Loki that he feels this way which also explains his strong reactions). Now I say feelings and I definitely got that romantic vibe from them and it does look like he's in love with her and I'd be SO here for that (if you've seen my reaction to the episode you'll know how excited I was) but ultimately, we don't know yet if this will take off in a romantic direction after all. It might as well be that through Sylvie, Loki finally learns to love himself (not in a narcissistic way--if anything, him "admitting" that he's a narcissist proved how much he struggles with himself; that narcissistic side of him is part of the show, part of the mask he wears to protect himself--and he seems so broken and sad now that he actually started believing it, especially since others, including Mobius, kept telling him that as well; I mean that's just one theory but there's 100% more to Loki believing that he's a narcissist) which would be equally beautiful.

I mean... sure he loves his family but ultimately and even though they all love him back in their very own somewhat twisted way, they are one of the main reasons why Loki suffers so much. Odin treated him like the second fiddle all his life, never told him about his Frost Giant heritage until it was inevitable and Thor? Remember when Loki told him "I remember a shadow, living in the shade of your greatness" in The Avengers? The romance, whether it is one or not, doesn't overpower the plot to me, it's part of Loki's self-discovery. So it's not so much about the "it has to be romantic love" aspect. Loki's family was pretty toxic, you can't deny that. It's about him feeling for a person who accepts him just the way he is (including the fact that Loki himself doesn't quite know what he actually wants) and Frigga (don't get me wrong she's a wonderful mother and I like her very much but she too kept that secret from Loki and helped gaslighting him in TDW, she's not perfect), Odin and Thor all failed to do that. Not to mention that this Loki doesn't have a timeline and is, in fact, COMPLETELY alone. No one he loves is here anymore. So it's not far-fetched that he'd get attached to Sylvie (and fast too), in whatever way that may be.

Mobius and B-15 going against the TVA were a HIGHLIGHT for sure!

I loved that reference too and yes, it was very harsh, I agree on that. Sif acted like he cut off her nose and not her hair, so she must have been REALLY angry.

I thought it was already confirmed? Either way, I am 100% certain there will be more seasons! I mean, it was clear from the beginning to me that if they're making a Loki series, there will be more than one season! 😅

[bertyose]

L’manburg curse au thing

(this was the best thing i could come up with, ahhhhhh)

Just a lot more information around the whole au, also if you have any ideas feel free to add them on! i love reading through them all and they’ve given me a lot of ideas aswell! so thank youuu :))

The curse

The curse of L’manburg basically infects people who are put into power of the great country. it forces said person to go on a path of insanity, just leading them to their own demise

The curse can affect people in different ways, it adapts to the persons own personality, problems, insecurities, fears and ext. The curse’s ultimate goal is just for the person in power to die (in misery) so their soul is trapped and can kind of be consumed by the country. idk if that makes sense but uh y ehahhh.

where did this curse come from? well you’re going to have to wait to find out ;) i’ll probably reveal it soon thought because it adds a lot to the story. oh also this curse will affect Willbur, Jschlatt and Tubbo ;);)););)

also one last thing to add. Because their souls would be trapped in the land after they die this means they would be stuck there as ghosts. As ghosts they are unable to leave L’manburg and are doomed to stay on the land, completely unable to move onto the next peacful stage of life. They dont really remember life when they were under the curses influence, so they both only remember everything up until they were elected (for wil its around when he runs for presidency against Quackity). Schlatt only appears to connor whenever he comes to L’manburg because he’s one of the only ppl he remembers and likes to chat with an old friend. Wil shows up to mainly the og L’manburgians (+ phil and niki), however he kind of avoids tommy as the last thing he remembers is being with him and he thinks him being dead might somehow be his fault.

Wilbur

Wilbur took the longest for the curse to fully activate on him. When he began as ruler/general of L’manburg he held a lot of love for his country and people which makes it harder for the curse to start manifesting. It didnt truly start until a few weeks or months after the first war, when he realises that his people can go against him at any moment and so he needs to keep ahold of his power over L’amnburg. Which leads to the whole election.

The curse made Wilbur become incredibly possesive over things he believed belonged to him. These things could be: L’manburg, his freedom, other peoples freedom, his people he used to rule over, tommy and maybe more things. The curse also fed into his paranoia, so he’d constantly believe that every single person was against him. It was him against everyone, so he felt as if he had nothing/nobody to hurt or lose.

As the curse got stronger he disregarded everyones opinions and feelings, he hardly cared about his family or friends anymore, he just wanted to keep ahold of what he believed that belonged to him. Because he could. Because it made him feel stronger. Because it should be his and no one elses.

Will gets kicked out of presidentcy and L’manburg so you’d think the curse would just finally stop? well no, not really. The curse actually gets stronger, it wants to lure him straight back to l’manburg so it can take his soul as his insanity leads him to his death. In pogtopia Wilbur gets crazy hallucinations, he can hardly sleep and hes constantly seen whispering to himself to try and steady all of the rapid voices/thoughts in his head. People just think its because he was kicked out of L’manburg, no one has a clue of the curse at this point, because its the first time most people have seen it.

Jschlatt

The curse goes in a complete different direction with mr Jschlatt. His heart was already plauged. His mind was already corrupted. This man just wanted to succeed in the world of business, he had to be ontop of the hierarchy and so thats where he eneded up. The curse didnt necessarily make him more evil because he was considered to be evil before hand, instead it toxicated him.

The curse causes schlatt to become incredibly toxic, inside and out. He fills his viens with drugs and alcohol, his personality becomes venemous and he sucks any joy or happiness out of people. Any relationships he holds with any people instantly become toxic, he turns into the drunk, abusive father of the whole nation. The toxicity the curse infects him with drives the man to his death, jschlatt was extremely quick to be destroyed by the curse.

Tubbo

now tubbo.. poor young, sweet tubbo. Like Wilbur tubbo holds a lot of love towards his country, he has been through thick and thin for his homeland and is excited to bring it back to its glory. However tubbo has always had those dark voices at the back of his head. And the curse feeds into that. Being shot multiple times by techno has left a lot of scars on the boy, he pretended to not care but really its going to leave a deep stain on his life. The curse takes advantage of this and causes him to be incredibly hateful yet also paranoid of the blade. Tubbo becomes paranoid of everthing

Tubbo’s nature becomes much more violent and spiteful. He’s now very quick to jump to conclusions and will just snap at everyone. He’s constantly making it clear to people how he is the one in charge and how he has the final saying in anything. He stops listening to what others have to say in businesses and just stops discussing things with people full stop. The curse makes him believe that there’s enemies watching him from afar, he never feels safe and so eventually he makes L’manburg exclusive again and brings back the mighty walls. Tubbo just doesnt want to die. He has experienced too many near deaths that he becomes terrified of death and he will use all of his power to make sure it doesnt happen.

the curse does much more to him and he goes into a dark path of corruption but ill get into that with much more detail another time ;);)););)

theres so much more to say but i’ll leave it like this for now, i hope you enjoyed! i’ll talk about the origins of the curse, the reactions of the others as they are pushed away and watch those close to them turn completely evil and how/who finds out about the whole curse thing.

((also starting from now, anything i write which is related to this au will be taged as ———> l’manburg curse au ,, just so its easier for you guys to find! ))

[cottoncandyjester]

How would your Yandere Ocs react to Y/N enjoy having friends? They are not into having a romantic relationship but they enjoy giving out platonic affection to their friends. Platonic cuddles, kisses, and hugs.

Anyone ever have those moments where not writing feels weird and unnatural? That's my current mood so decided to write this ask at 7am lol

Warning this contains: talk of sex but nothing nsfw, toxic relationships, yandere behavior, manipulation, blackmail

Theodore

As your friend he urges you to not do that

His scolding feels more like a worried father

He shows you the logical side

"what if someone catches feelings when you do that? Wouldn't be good"

He just wants your kisses to himself

If you become affectionate with him he will love it

Honestly though jealously will set in quite fast

You're not his but you basically are

You just don't know it

His suggestions turn into a warning if you keep it up

After seeing you kiss other people for so long it won't be long until he's snatching you up

Taking you away from that situation the only way he knows how

He makes sure to manipulate you, after all theodore works hard to make sure you see him as the voice of reason

He's so smart and reasonable he's only trying to help you don't you see?

"they really said that?"

"I'm afraid so, but it's okay you have me"

Theodore smiled at you gently, his news about your friends hating you shocked you to the core but you were unsure if you were to believe such a thing after all that simply couldn't be true you had a close bind with them

"maybe I should talk with them, we can work it out or some-"

"you know that not the correct answer dear"

Theodore pulled you in for a hug a long sigh escaping him as he held you close, his voice whispering in your ear

" you know it's true, be logical now. The facts simply line up..all those times they told you that they were all going to hang out only to ditch you, or those moments or the fact that they start to whisper about you when you just aren't aware, I see all those things darling"

Theo was a snake, he was able to make you unsure about it all. Placing a small seed of doubt was all it took to ruin everything, of course he did the same little trick on your friends making sure they doubted your friendship as well.

In the end all those friends you adored for some reason stopped hanging around you, you did never understand why but that was okay cause theo stayed by your side no matter what cause..that's what friends are for

Hikaru

Oh honey

He knows this game all too well

Hell he's played it before

It's so easy to befriend your friends

Win them over and win you over as well

It's all in the plan

Of course he wants to slam your friends' heads into a brick wall for touching you but that's besides the point

Flashing around his debit card was all it took to win your friends over

Once they were his..he corrupted them

Spreading rumors and gossip is his favorite hobby

From fake dark secrets about you to gross remarks

It wasn't long until all your friends thought you were a little whore

They all stopped hanging out with you after that

You have no idea why

It honestly broke you

And now hikaru could break you even more

"what do you expect from greedy little bitches, [y/n]?"

Hikaru had to hold back a grin at the sight of you teary eyes about your friends telling you that they don't want to be around you anymore. All that hard work paid off and he was way too happy, you were all his now but this wasn't enough

You had to want him as much as he wanted you.

"honestly though, maybe we shouldn't be fr-"

"No! Please! You're my only friend left!"

Hikaru eyes you with a cold stare now walking closer and gently pushed you down to your knees

"beg for my friendship, after all you're gonna need allies. I think one of them posted a nasty tweet on Twitter and it's going around. But with my help I can definitely make sure you're safe"

Your eyes widened and you honestly had no choice, it was either have your whole friends and family think awful things about you or become his best friend

Hikaru wasn't too bad..right?

"p-please, be my friend hikaru..I need you"

Hikaru couldn't hide a grin anymore as he leaned down roughly grabbing your face forcing direct eye contact

"that's right, you need me. Without me you will be alone and you don't wanna be alone..right, [y/n]? So be a good little bitch and do exact what I say"

His threatening tone terrified you but it scared you more to think what will happen if you didn't do as you were told.

Axis

Goes straight to guilty tripping

He should get the most affection cause he's your bestest friend ever

He needs you!

Please treat him far more special than the rest of your friends

He becomes extremely clingy

He is always around you..like always

He doesn't really get along with your others friends quite as much

He isn't smart like the others

This blind bag of rocks thinks being a brat will solve it

It does annoy your friends and they complain about him to you

If you try to break your friendship off with him he will break down sobbing

Will say anything to prevent you from seeing him in a bad light

"w-what are you saying, [y/n]?"

"we can't be friends, you're scaring my other friends"

Axis felt shocked but quickly knew what to do, tears rolled down his face as he sniffled now playing the pitiful pathetic role. Seeing his heavy tears made your eyes soften and you stepped towards him unsure of what to do

"it's cause I'm blind isn't it? It's cause I'm not like them right?"

That single sentence sent you in for a loop and you were quickly comforting them male before you knew it

"nononono! That's not it I swear! They all said that you've been threatening them and that you being clingy with me is weird"

"lies lies lies! It's not true! I just wanted to be friends, why do they hate me [y/n]?"

Axis suddenly reached out clearly wanting you to grab him so you did and he wrapped his arms around you hugging you close

"h-how come they can be clingy with you but I can't? That's not fair..they hate me cause of my disability, people like that are the worst"

Seeing how fragile and vulnurable axis was made you bubble up with anger, how could your friends treat him so poorly? There was no way he was making threats towards them!

He was such a sweet guy and having him sob into your arms made you confirm that! Axis wasn't a danger to anyone and your friends were selfish and cruel..is what you believed

Axis sniffles softly now hiding a small smile as he hugged you close, his sweet [y/n] will be all his someday, so what does it matter if he told a few lies or spilled a few tears.

Prince

So that's how you wanna play?

Okay!

Of course he's jealous but he isn't going to have a bitch fit over it

He knows what to do

He proceeded to seduce and sleep with your entire friend group

Gender does matter

Sexuality doesn't matter

He somehow did it

Once he did that it was only natural for things to fall apart

Your friends liked him

Loved him

Wanted to screw him

And he used that to his advantage

Having them fight each other was just amazing

It didn't take much for jealously to kick in amongst your friends

A simple hand hold with one of your friends made the others very jealous

You were blissfully unaware

You didn't understand why your friends were so tense around another

Then they started to bad mouth each other to you

It was utter hell and chaos trying to keep the peace

Prince of course was there to comfort you every step of the way

"babe, some people are just toxic y'know?"

"y-yeah, but this came out of nowhere like we were all fine I have no idea what happened"

You sat with prince in his room he let you vent our your troubles and you needed that. All your other friends were fighting with each other every chance they get and you still don't know why

"what do you think, P?"

"ehh, I dunno? People are weird huh? Well whatever it is dont stick your nose in it or they will snap at you too"

"yeah, I should wait til this all blows over, it will be fine I mean we are all best friends"

Prince held back a chuckle as he watched you, you trusted him and he loved that. He leaned close planting a kiss to your cheek

"how about you spend the night yeah? We can just chill and eat food yeah? You definitely need that"

"yeah sounds good"

Checkmate. You were his.

Yuki

Okay..do it to him

Kiss him too

Hug him as well

When he sees you go to hug or kiss someone else he quickly stops it by distracting you

Whether it be tugging your shirt to get your attention or showing you a random video on his phone of a cute animal

He will distract your mind for that moment

He end up stealing all the kisses and love

Your lap is just perfect for sleeping

He does have to dispose of your friends though

After all you two were 'dating' and cheating isn't a good trait

He does it by intimidation

Blackmail does the trick nicely

Blackmailing all of them has scared them away

But that's okay cause yuki will take all their affection

"I think she blocked me, I'm not in the group chat anymore what about you?"

You spoke to the male who rested his head in your lap, you two were in your room relaxing and as always yuki had his head rested in your lap looking like he was about to fall asleep

His light grunt answered the question for you and you gave a long sigh, your fingers now running through his hair and he's a satisfied groan from him

Yuki was a quiet one but you liked that about him, he reminded you of a cat.

"guess I'll try again later, a nap sound good huh?"

Yuki turned to his side his face buried in your stomach now as he held you close nuzzling his face into you with a pleased him. He wasn't sure how long the blackmail would work but it was working that's all that mattered to him

"forget them...'m here"

His soft whisper shocked you but you grinned as you leaned down kissing your best friend on his cheek

"yeah I could always count on you huh?"

Of course you could, he was your future husband!

[enzo-zzz]

A vent on the fandom + cg

If you dont wanna hear any negativity, please just ignore this post. It includes dissatisfication on the yttd fandom and ongoing belief in it. I'm not going to use very kind words here, so just ignore this post. 3b spoilers included.

I like yttd so much, but the english fandom, i cannot interact because how toxic it is. Even the smallest different of which route you choose, will attract anyone to abuse, harrass, ridicule or humiliate you. And to be truth, there are many of them who are so judgemental, to the point that there is only one thing that are right and the other are wrong. Black and white mindset. The term "canon route" is what fans created itself. I guess there are many of them who are teens or kids, since most of kids who havent grown up yet tend to lean towards black and white mindset, even if they believe they are not. If you find people who keep arguing especially on social media, you can bet that its teens. Adult are too tired to involve in things like fighting with strangers. There is one time when the poll asked your age and the age range quite small to teens age. I guess thats why i think so.

OTHER THAN THAT, THERE'S ONE THING I'M ANNOYED WITH. ABOUT THE CG AND HOW THE FANDOM DECIDES THAT THE MORE CGS, THE MORE CANON IT IS. To be perfectly honest, i'm the one who came up with the analysis that on certain route 2-2 ending the cg is more. But people really use it the wrong way and now thought that anything that has more cg is the canon route. The word canon route is wrong in itself, who tf come up with the term canon route in yttd? Is the reason for creating two route is for one to be canon only, or for sparing different characters, or for having different storyline? (I personally think that on different route, the story will change and the ones who got to live at last is probably different ). Now i see those who misuse that information everywhere. "In sou route 2-2 ending evil joe AI dont even have new cg but in kanna route he has. See how biased the devs are? he should have drawn more if he really meant the route to be the canon one. Kanna route will get happy ending, sou route is bad ending." I think thats stupid. B*tch, he keep reusing his old art here and there. You can check for yourself. Joe and midori has same hand based on the cg? He's just reusing the hand art. The arm in 3b and 1-1 is the same arm he reuse. Sou and kanna 2-2 ending basically use the same sou drawing, he just changed it a bit. Sara in 2-2 kanna ending use the same cg as when keiji try to calm her in front of computer, he just changed the face. Midori and sara on the 3b game screen cg basically use the same cg in the 3b content, but changed a bit. So i can think why need to create new cg when joe is still malicious as the hallucination in 2-2 sou ending? If i want to create something i will also reuse this to save my time.

So if you wanna really use this cg argument, then maybe you can consider why alice memory game got so many more cg than reko's? and how ranmaru gone insane has so many new sprite and pose with the hair like that. And why when dummy is dead they got cg's. Especially the ranmaru dying one, he got moving cg's and how it was put more effort into that. Then that means dummy dying is actually the canon route since when they alive they got no addtional cg? This is my assumption, but i think the devs just do as many cg as it takes depends on how impactful the scene he's working on, not because its canon, thats really a lazy take if he is actually unwilling to do extra route but still forcing himself to do it anyway. Imagine if dummy is dying but no cg, instead a message " ranmaru/mai/anzu died ". Do you think that will really give impact to you? This game clearly hinting that joe is going to be the spotlight of the game, even in 3b. So when sou set the real joe ai in kanna route for sara, the script is written for the real joe to genuinely react to sara. of course thats going to be heartwrenching since joe himself is the very important part of sara's life. When the script is made that way, lacking of cgs will hamper down the storytelling nankidai genuinely want to deliver. All i can say is it come from the heart of the author himself. If it is just only text for something as tearful as that moment and no cgs, it wont really touch the feeling isnt it? It is the same with alice memory game that tells about how alice "kill" midori. I'm not sure how many it is but atleast there is 3 cgs with one of them has variant. The story of how alice kill midori is also important and should have impact, thus the extra CG's. I can say its about being passionate and indulged in the storytelling.

I dont even know if joe will ever heal sara in sou route, but based on how the story still keep joe relevant til the end, then there must be something that need to happen between them in the end right? Nankidai even made sure that sara see the dog keychain in 3a if player probably choose to not ask gin about the dog keychain he's hiding in ch 2. Its also for relating ranmaru and joe. Having closure or conclusion with joe in the middle of game is still valid, and having a closure with joe at the end of the game is still valid. Imo, having closure with joe at the end of the game after all of those suffering involving him makes the better climax or impact for sara chara development since the game build up to highlight joe and mr. Policeman, it can be even better if all of it are to be pull together in the ending.

Even if the devs has route he prefer, he's not abandoning any route he less prefer, only if its true that he ever have a route he prefer. Plus you dont know which route he's prefer if any. He's taking his work seriously, it just some "fans" looking down on him, even to the point calling him biased, he's punishing the one who take another route, treating like he only use his career for egostatiscal reason (it somehow clearly mirrors that you are the one who egostatiscal to the point of wanting to find any excuse to punish other, you just using the devs name to validate your mindset). If he's dislike people who chose that route that much, then why create that route? If he know its tiring to make alternate route, then why still make the choice to let 3 dummy alive route at the end? It will make more work. I can only assume its out of passion, or just that he deep down wants the character to be alive atleast in a route ( idk if this is correct, i just read google translated version of his public fanbox that he's actually very reluctant at first when the time comes and "crying" so hard when he had to kill joe in chapter 1. So the part where he wants to spare some character is only my assumption ). By this punishing logic, shouldnt he not make alice die when you push reko ai to spare gin, and only do it to those who dont push the ai to save gin by killing real reko? I am more sure that the variants is to tell a different story or who to spare, and specifically for who sara actually was.

Happy endings? I'm not sure. I've expected that once from story with a lot of deaths, wishing for atleast the protagonists alive. Anime or story with a lot of death is definitely my jam, but from what i see, most of them has bittersweet ending, it depends on how the author wants it to be. Some author dont mind killing them all till the end, and some author just easily kill them all because they plan to revive them later. And everyone sense is different. Some japanese people sense in storytelling is a bit different imo. As the one being the audience, happy endings is the most common wish the audience wants. But its all up to the sense of the author. This is why i'm annoyed with some kids from overseas who rarely watch or play many things that involves a lot of death from japan suddenly says that this "one happy ending, this one bad ending! Everyone will survive in this route, everyone dead in this route"

Just play any route you like, nothing wrong with that. Whats wrong is to start this war of ridiculing others or have that irritating attitude towards those who play their own first route and start bad mouthing or desperately throwing bad assumption that one route will end very bad just for the sake of feeling better for your choice and to scare others.You do know that when you read a book, you'll only know if the overall story is good or bad until you know the ending right? The ending will conclude everything that happened. What happening in the fandom is now like, you only read 3/4 of the book and already expecting that this one will have good ending and bad ending. What if its not about the binary, but for the difference in direction? Its not that bad if the story of the book is kinda predictable, but with how plot twists become the main part of yttd's charm, its getting more difficult to predict how it will end. There's a lot of story which was masterpiece in every part as seen by fans, until the ending hits. Its what the author wants, but its not what the fans wants.

If you pick fights with others, even passively, the consequence is all on you. Good luck taking care of your mess.

Thats why i'm reluctant to publish any theory because the fandom will always use it as an excuse to pick fights with other and say " i'm more right bcs i got this proof" . U see in my caption i dont want any of those harasser to even digest my theory. If you are one of them get out of my blog.

[nanamismami]

high. suna x reader

and to my message you reply

hi. is this another suna fic based around “why’d you only call me when you’re high”? yeah...whateva

pairing: suna rintarou x reader

warnings: angst, toxic relationship, drug use, nsfw if you squint your eyes and do a little dance, vomit (suna got sick:(), fluff

genre: angst, fluff

wordcount: 2104

a/n: is it fanon? yeah. a little ooc? yeah. sorry :(

fic below da line :)

        a late night always holds many possibilities. a party, a date, at the least a break from the status-quo. yet somehow you always manage to find yourself at the exact same spot every time.

        suna’s front porch had changed several time since you first started rendezvousing with him. he had a habit of buying large plants, but forgetting to take care of them.

“the only thing he spends more money on than weed is houseplants,” you chuckle. he was still calling you, though he had failed to open the door after five minutes of knocking. you retrieved a key from the underneath of a dying hydrangea plant and let yourself in.

        not all of his late night calls were for personal pleasure. there’s been many times where he needed a place to hide from an angry dealer, or an extra $20 from his doting partner. more often than not, he needed someone to ease him off of a bad high. suna has bought laced all too many times, and couldn’t turn to any other responsible figure but you. “you’re really good at it,” he would tell you when you inquired about him calling someone else for once.

        his messages were a frenzy of “i need help”, “please come over”, and a million other vies for your company. it had been like this for about seven months: he phones you, you get pissed, and yet you still show up to his doorstep. admittedly, your meetings were generally for sex. you weren’t ashamed of it; but he was. 

you told yourself you wouldn’t ever stand for a shitty relationship. yet here you were: a glorified booty call for an emotionally distant man. he only kept you around by taking you on the occasional date. buying you a gifts when he thought you needed one. empty promises of “we’ll put a label on it soon, they’ll know soon.” you knew it was a lie, he did too. but what if one day it wasn’t? what if one of these days he really did mean it? you could get intoxicated off of that feeling, fulfilling his every request for a bit of attention. there was nothing you wouldn’t do to hear “i love you” cascade from that boy’s lips.

        pushing into his house, you see him in a crouching position in front of his couch and, god, was he shivering?

        “rin? what the hell happened?” you said to him. you didn’t yell for fear of breaking the odd calmness he seemed to be in. his reaction to your worried questioning was delayed. his usual cat-eyed stare was almost comically large. 

        “went t’ a party. took ‘sum. don’t feel good,” he managed to slur out. you threw a large knit blanket over his shoulders and sat next to him. “what did you take?”

“a tab.” 

“of what?”

“i don’t know.”

        great. you knew the rest of the people at the party were probably just as high and would be of no help. 

        not knowing what else to do, you moved him to sit on the couch and grabbed a glass of water. it’s not the first time this has happened, and still he never remembers in the morning. every time he’d wake up and find himself in your arms, he’d blame it on the high and take a shower. suna never asked about the money you spent on ibuprofen to make him feel better, or the hours you’d spent soothing his paranoid psyche, or hell, the shower you’d already given him because he’d made a mess of himself. he never knew about the frantic research you did trying to find out how to detoxify whatever drug he managed to find himself on that night. that’s not what matters right now, though. not to him at least.

        “how long ago did you take it?” you asked him. he was sat with his chin resting on his knees, hesitantly taking small sips of water.

“an hour ‘fore i left the party, bout two.”

        was there ever a time he checked on you? did he stay up late wondering if you were safe? he did seem to care some about you... anything physical, he bought for you. he always left you feeling satisfied. was it okay to want more? is that what you deserve? of course it is. you should be with someone who treats you with sincerity. someone who shows your beautiful face off to their friends. someone who when they talk to you, they aren’t-

        you checked your phone. three: twenty-seven. there’s no point in trying to regurgitate it now. his hands were shaky, and lost grip of the plastic cup containing probably his only source of hydration within the last twelve hours.

the loud crash of his cup on the hardwood helped direct you to the true nature of the relationship you found yourself in. the silence of the home as you went to refill his water didn't help either.

        the sudden rush of water falling from the cup onto your hand caused you to jerk you arm back and shut the faucet off. turning around, you’re met with a looming body and a hazy gaze.

        “you’re taking too long,” he commented.

        you set the cup down and looked up at him. you had a right to know what he was thinking, even if it wasn’t clear at the moment.

        “rin…” you whispered. he bore down at you and his eyes sharpened ever so slightly. he must be a bit more cognizant of his surroundings, even better for your question.

            “why do you only call me when you’re high?’

        in your head, it was beautifully executed. the moonlight coming in from the sliding glass door, your enunciation, his careful gaze. christ, it could be straight from a movie.

        suna was a very bad actor. your performance was rewarded with a pile of vomit at your feet and a half passed out man leaning on your shoulder. you guided him back to the couch and laid him on his side, then cleaning up the kitchen. 

       coming back, you find him awake again, lousily sitting on the couch. he at least had washed his face and changed his clothes.

        “i’m cold. come hold me,” he demanded

        you really couldn’t help the smirk on your face. he was so needy when he was like this. obediently, you sat facing suna, and he launched himself on top of you. maybe this is why you stay. it was satisfying feeling needed by a man who wanted for very little. you stroked his dark hair and lightly kissed the shell of his ear. “do you feel any better, sweetheart?” you only call him names when he won’t remember them. sober suna would roll his eyes and ask you to not call him that.

        “you make me feel better.” honesty wasn’t ever a symptom of his current state but hey, you’ll take it.

         in fact, you’ll take full advantage of it. “rin, you’re not going to remember this in the morning, are you?” you knew what the answer was

“...i will.”

        your eyebrows knit together and you pull his face to meet yours. his arms snake their way around your neck, his weight forcing you to lay down. suna shoved his face into the crook of your neck. he breathed out lightly, refusing to meet your eyes.

        “y/n...why are you so good to me?” is he aware of what he’s saying? does this mean he’s remembered every other time and refused to acknowledge it? questioning his integrity might just ruin it, so you only massaged his scalp.

“because i want to rin. you make me happy, and i want to.” a half lie; would he care?

“but you could be happier without me. i dont get it.” 

        “i love you too, ya’ know.” it was a concerningly matter of fact statement, especially from him. “i wish i could show you. you're just so pretty, and smart, and just so... so good. you’re pretty scary, you know that? how am i supposed to be vulnerable with someone like you?" 

         if the ever observant middle blocker couldn’t figure it out, how the hell would you? there’s only so many things you can fully understand.

“because i love you, rintarou.”

you probably shouldn’t have said that, and you knew it. never once had either of you brought up that word. it could easily be the rock to shatter the glass house.

        his soliloquy is almost laughable, it’s only what he knows what you want to hear.

“are you still high?”

“not really. my stomach hurts though. and i’m kinda hungry.”

        he didn’t get up. instead, he asked you to roll over so that you were both lying on your side. 

        you had no idea if he was being truthful. he isn’t exactly one to say i love you so freely. but he knows you are close to leaving. a slightly calloused thumb strokes your cheek and lifts your chin,

“i meant it.”

“no, rin. you didn’t.”

        a look of genuine hurt colored his otherwise bored face. did he really mean it?

        “were you telling the truth?” he asks.

        were you? there wasn’t exactly another explanation for your actions.

        “i think so, yeah.”

        “then so was i.” you thought it was bull, opting to shut him up before he could give you anymore false hope. before you could kiss his face, he beat you to it.

“that’s bullshit, rin.”

        it was tentative, hesitant. he knew you weren’t really convinced. if there was a god, he prayed that they would make his testament of truth pass from his lips to yours. if there was one thing he knew he couldn’t live without, it was you. he would not be able to tie his own shoes if you weren’t there to teach him. but how were you supposed to know that. he fucked up big time, why was he just now realizing it?

“after our first date, i told the whole team i was gonna marry you.”

“the coach too.”

        suna rintarou telling the entirety of ejp about his love life is laughable. you wanted to believe it, really, you did.

        “that doesn’t line up with everything else that’s been going on.”

        “y/n i-i know. i’m sorry. i’ll change.” his pleading was pathetic, to be honest. he’s made those same promises before.

        he was desperate at this point. suna knew he was in the wrong. there had to be a way to save this; he didn’t like seeing you sad, seeing you leave.

        he pulled his phone out, pressing a few buttons here and there. “look!” he said, shoving a new instagram post in your face. it was the only picture he had of the both of you together. he had let you take it. it was a timed photo, facing the two of you in his reading chair. you sat sideways in sunas lap, and your arms were tightly wrung around his neck. he was looking down at you, and you were pretty sure (you hope) he was smiling a little. the caption of his post was simply a heart.

“that’s just a social media post.”

        there was that word again. he looked like he was about to cry and there was emotion in his voice, could he really be lying? 

“baby please. i’m serious. i’ll do anything."

the usual flat tone of his monotone voice began to have some melody to it. against his own will, it was shaky, trying to find the best words to sing.

"i’ll take you out every day, a-and i’ll get you front seat tickets to my game. anything, love, please just don’t leave me.”

        there’s something sweet in a statement that you don’t know the validity of. you can dance around it, pretend it’s true, pretend it’s false. sometimes, you can choose for yourself what tune to dance to. that’s what you’re doing now.

        suna’s large hand was petting your cheekbone, and one of his legs was thrown around your body, imprisoning yourself to his ambiguity. how would you win his approval if you disregarded his one showing of vulnerability?

        “i would never leave you rin. now get the fuck up so we can go to your bed and sleep.”

        his sheets were a pleasant greeting compared to his scratchy couch. he laid flat on his back, pulling you so that half of your body was on his. he slowly leaned toward you, kissing you forehead, nose, cheek, and just about anywhere else he could on your face, finishing with your lips.

        you could definitely tell he was lying about how deep his true lack of sobriety was when he threw you over his shoulder, his bad posture refusing to adjust for the added weight.

 he always knew you cared too deeply about him, but getting see what you did for him when he wasn't supposed to know. it did things to him. his bedroom door was already open, and he jokingly tossed you onto the bed. not enough to hurt you, but enough to convey his desire for a bit more normality. because that's what other couples did, right? he was trying.

“goodnight, y/n. i love you.”

        it was almost instinctual, the way you smiled and chastely pecked his lips. laying your head back down on his chest, you sighed airily.

“i love you too, rintarou.”

[yoon-kooks]

Witch Hazel- Pt.3

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: FanficWriter!Jungkook, Idol!Reader, College!AU, Angst, Fluff

Summary: There are two students in your art class with a secret: you and the quiet Jeon Jungkook. You’re a problematic idol singer, infamous for your ice cold reputation and perpetual resting bitch face; he’s the artist and author behind the viral comic series based on a certain ice queen idol. After a blowup of destructive rumors, lost motivation and inevitable solitude, you stumble upon Jungkook’s comic and find a new and unexpected light.

Word Count: 2.7k

Parts: 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // ?

A/N: i made an unintentional dragon ball z reference at the end of the previous chapter, and now this chapter is loaded with anime references LMAO dont worry if you arent familiar with dbz or sailor moon though!💖

As you approach the entrance to the mall, you have but one wish: Taehyung better show up before Jungkook. Not because you prefer Taehyung, but because you’re terrible at handling small talk and conversation—especially with a timid introvert like Jungkook. You’d rather leave it up to talkative Taehyung to prevent any awkward silences.

Unfortunately for you, however, your wish is not granted. Instead, you spot a bespectacled boy in a bucket hat and white shirt (not a hoodie for once!) sitting on a bench and taking pictures on his phone right outside of the mall. He doesn’t seem to notice you until he looks up from his phone and you’re standing right there with a tiny wave hello. Flustered, he adjusts his glasses and waves back, but that’s the extent of your greetings to one another.

So for the longest thirteen minutes of your life, a huge gap of nothingness sits between you and Jungkook on a wooden bench outside of the mall, waiting for Taehyung to show up. The boy resumes taking photos of the blue sky and the mall itself. You don’t get what’s so photo-worthy about an ordinary sky and the generic architecture of the mall. But then again, this is a boy who also probably has 256GB of storage space dedicated to pictures of his favorite idol (one of which is his lockscreen)—and you certainly don’t understand the appeal of Snow. Therefore, you do not bother asking the boy about his reasons for wasting storage space on certain photos. You wouldn’t understand anyway.

And since Jungkook is too busy using his phone for photos at one end of the bench, you decide to use your phone to text the missing boy from the opposite end of the bench.

10:13AM Y/N “Taehyung, it’s past 10. Where are you??”

10:14AM Taehyung “On my way baby. And don’t worry, I promise I’ll make it worth the wait 😉”

As both a desired and disliked idol, you’ve been called a lot of things: beauty, bitch, babe, ice queen, slut, witch. And you’ve put up with it because you feel like, to some degree, you brought it upon yourself. But you’re wondering what you did to deserve a “baby” from Taehyung. Because the last thing you want is for someone who’s kind-of-not-really your friend to make any sort of romantic advances on you when they know nothing about you.  

10:15AM Y/N “Who are you calling baby.”

10:16AM Taehyung “?”

10:17AM Taehyung “But you were fine with it the other night 🍆💦”

10:18AM Jungkook “monkaS”

10:19AM Taehyung “Wait”

10:19AM Y/N “What’s a monkas”

10:20AM Taehyung “Oops wrong chat LOL”

10:21AM Taehyung “Anyway I already told you guys yesterday that I wasn’t coming to the group project thing. I’m busy.”

He sends a screenshot of the group chat where he very clearly had said he wasn’t free. You must’ve missed that text somehow—a fatal mistake on your end because now you’re alone at the mall with Jungkook and it’s damn near impossible to talk to that kid when you can’t even relate to him. At least Taehyung could’ve broken the ice, but of course he’s too busy getting laid.

10:22AM Y/N “Can’t you fuck around later?”

10:23AM Jungkook “poggers”

10:24AM Y/N “What’s a poggers”

10:24AM Taehyung “Sorry I need at least 2 business days to cancel or change an appointment. I’m a man of my word, not a monster ¯\_(ツ)_/¯”

10:25AM Taehyung “But have fun on your date without me~”

10:26AM Jungkook “it’s not a date”

10:26AM Y/N “It’s not a date.”

At least you and Jungkook can both agree that it isn’t a date. But that doesn’t change the fact that you’re stuck hanging out with him for a few hours to “get to know each other” for your stupid art project. How are you even supposed to get to know the boy when there’s nothing to talk about?

“What’s a monkas and poggers?” you ask, because your antisocial mind can’t think of anything else to say once the spam of text messages ends.

“Oh that…” Jungkook looks back down at his phone, scrolling through the text conversation to track down his cryptic messages. “It just means like oh my god and stuff.”

“In what language?” you attempt to keep the small talk going. But from the look of Jungkook’s shifty eyes, it seems you’ve probed too far.

“Gaming... language…”

“Oh.” As far as you can tell by his brief responses, the boy would rather not elaborate further. So you let the conversation die.

Instead, the two of you begin wandering around the mall, hoping it’ll spark any sort of conversation. Of course it doesn’t.

At least not initially.

For exactly 16 minutes (you would know because you’d been checking your phone every other minute as if time would pass any faster that way), you and Jungkook aimlessly walk around the mall without saying a word. And it isn’t until a new shop fills Jungkook’s eyes with sparkles that you spot an opportunity to make something happen.

The shop window is decorated with the cutest recognizable characters: Pikachu, Totoro, Naruto, Sailor Moon, and all their friends. The boy appears to have his eye on the green dragon summoned from seven Dragon Balls. He doesn’t say anything, but it’s obvious he’s interested.

Knowing him, he’d say no if you asked him if he wanted to go inside, in fear of being a burden and wasting your time. So you find a loop hole.

“Let’s go in here,” you say. He nods, obediently following you in but keeping a safe distance. While he’d say no to his own desires, he has a hard time saying no to what everyone else wants. Sounds familiar.

The first thing you see when you walk in is the magic girl section. As someone who grew up admiring Sailor Moon, you would’ve liked to have scouted out that section for nostalgic purposes. The only thing stopping you is the hoard of weebs in that corner. Jungkook, on the other hand, goes right in.

As he joins the frenzy over waifus and body pillows, you shake your head and make a U-turn towards the section with ninjas, pirates, dragon slayers, and Saiyans. The seven plastic Dragon Balls call out to you, just as they had to Jungkook before he got distracted by pink-haired heroines. If you could have one wish granted with the magic of the Dragon Balls, what would you even wish for? There’s not much that you want, except for maybe a life you don’t feel ashamed of. But not even magic would be able to help you with that.

Sighing, you pick up a display model of one of the Dragon Ball fighters and replace his natural black hair with spiky blonde hair to transform him into a Super Saiyan, an almighty hero to protect the world.

“What exactly is the science behind turning blonde when they unleash their Super Saiyan strength?” you mumble to yourself… and the quiet boy next to you. He has a tiny shopping bag with him, so at least you know he didn’t splurge on a body pillow.

“From an artist’s perspective, it makes it easier for people to distinguish between different power levels. Especially in the comics where it’s black and white, so…” Jungkook’s rambling fades out when he realizes you might not be interested in his weeby-artist mind.

“That makes sense,” you say, still fumbling around with the Super Saiyan’s spiky blonde hair. You’d thought maybe it meant something more significant. As if changing one’s appearance could make them stronger by hiding who they really are. “But I suppose not all plot details need to be that deep.”

He nods and picks up another Dragon Ball character, the bald kid with six dots on his head, and wiggles it in your direction. “Is this the kind of anime you’re into?”

You can’t help but sneer at the random but mysterious six dots on the bald head. “This and Sailor Moon.”

Jungkook’s magic girl radar goes off when you mention Sailor Moon. “Oh, so like heroes and stuff?”

“I guess,” you answer, though you’ve never really thought about it that way. It’s not like you intentionally sought out for anything involving superheroes, but it’s something you’d always been naturally drawn to. “Though it seems a bit childish to say it out loud, doesn’t it?”

“I’m sure everyone has wished to be a hero at some point in their life,” the boy says, glancing back at the seven Dragon Balls. “After all, heroes give us something to admire and believe in.”

“Exactly.” You set the Super Saiyan back down on the shelf and stare at the glammed-up Sailor Moon beauties from afar. For just a split second, you’re reminded of your fateful decision to become Snow. “Kind of like idols, right?”

Jungkook flinches, clutching onto his shopping bag as if you’re lowkey judging him for being obsessed with not only pretty idols, but also pretty magic girls. You weren’t planning on bringing up the topic of idols because it can be quite toxic for yourself, but it somehow slipped out of your mouth in the presence of the biggest Snow fanboy. Oops.

“Yeah, kinda…” He lets out a half-laugh, but it sounds forced, only to fill another round of awkward silence as you both exit the anime shop. Great, you’ve brought up another touchy subject and now the boy’s back on lockdown. And just when the two of you were starting to get on the same page.

“I mean… I used to look up to the Sailor Moon characters… because they were my idols… my heroes…” you stumble over your words in an attempt to salvage any momentum you had built up with Jungkook. Surely this is something the weeb can relate to and not feel bad about now that you’ve exposed a bit of your dark past.

“Really?” He tilts his head and eases his grip on the shopping bag. “Who’s your bias—I mean favorite—of the Sailor Scouts?”

You assume he’s asking because your favorite can say a lot about you. Do you prefer crybabies like Sailor Moon, smarties like Mercury, hotheads like Mars, muscles like Jupiter, or perhaps the one who fantasizes over becoming an idol? “Sailor Venus.”

Before responding, Jungkook shuffles through his shopping bag and pulls out a tiny keychain of Sailor Venus with her pretty long hair and orange sailor suit. “Me too.”

You wonder what that says about Jeon Jungkook.

-

By the time lunch comes around, long silences still follow into the food court but somehow you feel less pressure to fill in the gaps. You’re simply okay with being in the boy’s company. Something about it is almost as refreshing as the iced tea you’re sipping on.

As you down your drink, you stare intently at the tall stack of pancakes across from you. The boy’s plate of fluffy delicacies has to be quadruple the size of your tiny salad bowl that you ordered out of habit.

“Um… do you want some?” Jungkook points to his pancakes, but his eyes are glued to your lips—probably because of the drool and not because you share the same pout as Snow.

“No thanks, I’m trying to eat healthier, and I already splurged on pancakes the other day,” you sigh. Even though you've taken a step back from idol life, you feel the need to maintain your image and health for the sake of fans who may worry about you. It’s in your blood, and sometimes you hate yourself for it. “But honestly, you’re really tempting me, you know.”

“Here.” Before you can refuse, Jungkook plops one of his pancakes onto the rim of your salad bowl. “It kinda defeats the purpose of dieting if it makes you unhappy, right? But that’s why cheat days exist~”

“That’s true.” You take a single bite of your pancake, savoring its subtle sweetness. You can’t remember the last time you found pure bliss in something as simple as pancakes without worry. “Thanks, Jung-”

You’re cut off by the fact that the boy’s stack of pancakes vanished, only leaving traces of syrup on the plate and a cute little crumb on the corner of his lips.

“Did you just inhale all your food while I took one (1) bite?”

He swallows the food in his mouth and takes a sip of his milk. “Maybe.”

You don’t know whether to be shocked or impressed, but it made you giggle either way. “You’re a funny guy, you know that?”

Flustered, the boy scurries off to dispose of his food tray. You rarely hand out compliments, and maybe this is why. It probably seems too out of character for someone like yourself, and Jungkook’s fragile little heart can’t handle it.

You punch yourself in the face until Jungkook walks back to the table. Seeing as you’ve only started making a dent in your lunch, he captures a few more photos on this phone, this time of the mall interior and food court. Then he pulls out his sketchbook.

He begins by mapping out a blank page with light lines and dots. Little by little, he adds in the tables, the people, the food. And before you know it, he has the whole food court sketched out and you haven’t even touched your salad yet.

“Are you into architecture? Or like exterior & interior design?” You don’t exactly know the proper art terms for whatever Jungkook’s drawing, but it would explain why he always seems to be taking photos of wherever he goes.

“Yeah, architecture and design are cool.” He shrugs and doesn’t sound all that convincing. So he diverts the spotlight back onto you. “By the way, I mean this in the least offensive way possible, but you’re not an art major, right?”

“Are you saying that because I’m shitty at art?” you pretend to be offended, but you know he’s not the malicious type. “Or because I’m always carrying a guitar to class?”

“The latter.” You see a tiny smirk on the boy’s face as he continues to add in details to his sketch. He’d never say it, but you can tell he’s also thinking your art is complete trash. “Is it music theory? Or just guitar? Or songwrit-”

Bing! Your phone notification saves you from a potentially loaded question about an uncertain future in music, and you couldn’t be more grateful. It’s a new Witch Hazel update from jk.seagull.

You glance over to Jungkook, expecting him to have the same notification on his phone. But he doesn’t. “I would’ve expected you of all people to have notifications turned on for Witch Hazel.”

“Really? Is it because you think I’m that in love with Snow?” It’s Jungkook’s turn to pretend to be offended. You’re glad to see him lightening up and not taking things to heart.

“Are you not in love with Snow?” you tease. Jungkook freezes and so do you. Why the fuck would you ever ask him if he’s in love with an extension of yourself? You don’t want to hear the answer because it’ll hurt you either way. “Nevermind, don’t answer that.”

You quickly skim jk.seagull’s beautiful comic-style artwork and stop at a panel of Snow and the new bunny boy character squaring up.

“But doesn’t this look like something right up your alley?” You flip your phone around to let the boy see the cute art.

“Does it?” Jungkook looks up from his sketchbook and puts down his pencil.

“Yeah, it feels like it would be more your style than realistic architecture would,” you say, although his sketch of the food court is somehow more gorgeous than the actual food court itself. “But I don’t know… You’d be fine with anything in the art field, to be honest.”

To your surprise, the boy shakes his head at your phone screen. “I’m not cut out for something like that.”

“Coming from the best artist in our class,” you say unconvinced. He has to be joking. Or maybe just overly modest. “Obviously I don’t know how you are with storytelling and stuff, but your art is undeniably incredible. And you have a lot of passion and knowledge for comics and anime…”

“Thanks, Y/N, but I don’t think that’s the problem.”

[tsukidotcom]

Tsukishima Kei — Teasing

This is referring to more of a friendship with Kei than a romantic relationship. But you could think of it either way :)

Okay obviously this man is going to be a huge tease. Shorter than him by a few inches? Will make fun of your height. Your hair naturally brown? Will call you shitty hair (bakugou is that you?).

He won’t say sorry about it, either. Unless you visibly show you’re legitimately hurt by it. Like deeply hurt by it.

It Was At This Moment That He Knew, He Fucked Up.

You guys probably will avoid each other for a few days before Yamaguchi makes him talk to you. Once when you and him are alone he will be really awkward about it. A lot of unwanted tension and unneeded silence.

He’ll blurt out he’s sincerely sorry. Maybe even treat you afterwords by buying you a meatbun/your favorite snack. He isn’t familiar with words and how to use them. His tone of voice may come out wrong or he says something he doesn’t mean. Please don’t react harshly by what he says baby is really trying his best 🥺 Give him a few minutes to untangle his words and say it properly.

Once when he finally got his shit together by then you know he’s sincere and you feel better. You might chuckle a little bit because he’s just a goofy hot mess. He’s so funny trying to apologize to you. like a child !

He will never admit this out loud—and I mean NEVER—but he does care about you. Teasing is just his way of showing affection. The more he teases the more he seems to like you. But he doesn’t want you to know he likes you. So he does the OPPOSITE of love; hate. Tease. Being obnoxiously,, out of his way, rude. Another reason why he teases is to hide how he feels? Like if he suddenly becomes embarrassed he’ll call you “bakka” or some other mean comment to hide the fact his face is a very deep shade of beetroot.

He also teases because he likes your attention. Who knew a snarky comment could give him all the attention in the world?

Again, he‘s aware he can take things too far, but he never actually knows the what. What causes things to be too far. What does he SAY that’s bad. Why? When? Where? Who?

In his noggin, he knows he doesn’t think the things he says are true. So when you take it seriously he seems clueless at first

Poor Tsukishima,, thinking people can read his mind and know he’s joking.

After thinking the situation through your perspective, he can see how much of an asshole he really looked. Mental facepalm.

Once when you guys make up, and I mean the SECOND you make up, he is back to being a salty saltine cracker. Will say lighthearted remarks.

He will probably purposely call you a ✨nostalgic✨ nickname or say the most used remark he always uses on you. I say nostalgic like one of the first insults he ever said to you.

Since you guys have been avoiding each other, being able to hear Tsukishima’s remarks somehow made you happy??? Especially a older one.

He’s considerate idk 🥰

And babey really does have a heart please 🥺 he just hides it with his salty comments. Everyone notices his mean remarks but if you analyze them you’d realize he meant something TOTALLY different.

For example:

“Hey, Shorty.”

“I’m not short!!!”

“I have to bend down just to be able to look at you.”

“I will steal your knee caps before you get the chance to run away.”

“You’re legs are so short, N/N-san. You wouldn’t be able to keep up with me.”

What he was really saying was;

“I want you’re attention. look at me.”

“oh, here’s you’re attention.”

“Not Enough .”

“Wha-”

“m o r e”

Yeah, he’s subtle like that.

After you two get it off, his way of words starts to rub off of you. Whether you like it or not. You suddenly know great combacks whenever you get into an argument. Always leaving the other person speechless. You learned from the best, after all 😳

If you tell him that you learned from the best, he’ll most likely feel flustered. A sudden tint of pink rose to his cheeks and the tip of his ears. He’ll call you stupid and useless as he looks the opposite direction of you to cover his face. Because you’ve been picking up his own habits you start teasing him.

“Awwe, is Tsukishima-kun flustered?”

“No—Boke.”

He’s so used to you teasing/insulting him that when you actually compliment him he doesn’t know how to act. Even if it was more on the sarcastic side he’ll still freeze up like 😀 whut.

He also just adores you so a compliment from you is everything 🥰🥰 a mega softy on the inside don’t fight me on this.

All in all is a real jokster 😅🤣 but can and will be serious when needed. He will always be there for you. He isn’t good with words but is real good with actions.

If he notices you’re visibly sad he’ll (snarkily) ask if you want to hang/study at his place. If you accept y’all would just chill out in his room. He would be wearing his headphones, doing homework on his desk or something while you sit on his bed, a big dino plushy wrapped around your hands. Probably scrolling mindlessly through your phone. Sometimes each others presence is all you guys need. Suddenly you don’t feel as sad.

If you’re really sad and just end up breaking down, venting and/or crying out to him, he’ll listen and won’t interrupt you. Headphones = off.

Don’t expect him to say a speech or reassuring words. He doesn’t know shit when it comes to that type of stuff. You shouldn’t expect him to hug you, either. Even tho most people would react that way Tsukishima isn’t like that.

“Oi, what are you-”

“Tsukki,” you sniff, “I can’t do this anymore....” You bury your face in the dino plushy, hugging it closer to your chest.

You go off and complain about your life. He would definitely be surprised/taken aback. He’d just drop whatever he was doing and listen to you. If someone did something bad to you (a bad friend, dark past, toxic relationships, etc.,) He’s imagining how to confront them at tomorrow at school ❤️😌

But that would have to wait. He definitely wouldn’t say a mean comment. If he does, it would only be one that could make you laugh. Lift your spirit. In the moment, he might put a hand on your shoulder, arm, or back. Just to remind you he’s here. And you might lean into his touch. You just spoiled your deepest insecurities and past, after all. You’re vunerable to him now. And honestly Tsukishima might be the best person for that.

He’s quiet and reserved even though he says loud, evil comments all the time at everyone. Nobody can read his facial features because he always stares with a blank face. Nobody can pinpoint what he’s thinking. And nobody asks because he hides well behind the wall of Tsukki Insults™️©. Even being as tall as 190 cm, he can hide pretty well. He can definitely keep a secret and act like nothing happened.

He also might rub circles on your back or squeeze your arm/shoulder as a way of saying “you’re okay” “i’m here” “don’t worry”

This isn’t his typical style but this is definitely a side of him that’s there. It’s just nobody sees it.

After you feel better, he’d act back to normal and keep on doing his work. If not, he’s probably babying you a little bit. Will give you water or warm milk (warm milk and cookies, maybe??) and put on a movie on his tv in his room. The tv is small but, i mean,, it’s there.

Turn off the lights for you. Maybe make popcorn or any snack you like.

“But—Tsukki. You’re homework... you won’t be able to do it in the dark.”

“It’s fine. I can do it in the morning.”

“Are you sure..?”

“Yes, baka, I’m sure.” He ?softly¿ scowls

You’d be under the warm covers. He’d probably be in bed, too. Not under the covers though. And he makes sure to keep his distance. A few ft seperate you guys. The only way that gap is gonna close is if you move yourself.

If you do,,, he’d definitely ask and tease you. ‘oh, you wanna be near me?’ “shut up.”

Honestly you probably feel touch deprived, or touch deprivation. After all that crying and thinking bad thoughts. You’d probably want a simple hug but Tsuki would never give that to you and you know it. Even if you directly asked he wouldn’t. And watching a movie in the dark just makes the atmosphere so moody..? Perfect rime for cuddles!

I dont blame you 💔🥺

Kei wouldn’t move away but he wouldn’t suddenly put an arm over your shoulder or anything. He’s gonna keep to himself. He won’t mind sitting like a few inches apart. If your shoulders are slightly touching? He’s gonna get a lil tense. If you are noticeably leaning onto him and your legs are close to his (even when they’re under covers) he is gonna be rEalLY tense and flustered.

“What do you want, creep.”

“Nothing.”

“Liar. Just spill it.”

“Mm, I just want to be with you. Is that okay?” You say, teasingly innocent.

A flustered tsuki tenses his shoulders, “I’m already with you, dumbass.”

“Saying useless insults now, are you?”

“Shut up.”

Will probably end up leaning on you a bit, too :>

If you fall asleep he’s just gonna let you sleep on his bed all night and sleep on the couch or something. His neck will be a pain in the morning which he’ll make you buy him a strawberry shortcake as a thanks for his bravery and sacrifice.

“Here’s your shitty shortcake, your highness.” You say sarcastically.

He gives you that signature smirk, “This is what happens when you fall asleep after balling your eyes out to me-”

“Hey!” You grow pink out of embarrassment. You’re an ugly cryer so you didn’t even want to imagine what Tsukishima witnessed.

“Uh...., T-Thanks for listening, by the way..”

“Oi, don’t start getting sentimental.”

“I-I’m not!” you protest, “Can I not say thanks? I mean, you helped me... a lot. I always bottle things up.... so i...”

“It’s fine. You repayed me by giving me this strawberry shortcake.” He eats another bite

You look up at him and smile. You could tell he meant that he doesn’t mind it. And for you to shut up before he gets flustered again.

Tsukishima Kei cares for you 101