#ngl i wish this. was not what it is.
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Before I begin I must say I am a swiftie.
I love Taylor. Her music means a lot to me. It literally helped me in a lot of ways. But her recent actions have actually genuinely is upsetting to me(not saying she has to live the way I want her to but I feel really sad). Its just........he is a very disgusting person. He is someone who was literally m@********* in public and made misogynistic comments.
My biggest fury with him was when he called harry a queerbaiter. It was extra hard for me because harry's acceptance was what made me feel peace about my sexuality. I am still figuring out my sexuality and it's mostly fluctuating. He was the first person I saw say 'you dont have to tick every box'. He said that when I was questioning myself for the 100th time. Because if you want to come out to everyone you need a label right! He made me realise it's okay to not know everything and it felt like a warm hug from a friend. And watching M@** ***** call that person a 'queerbaiter' angered me to extreme and 'almost' destroyed my self esteem wondering whether everyone around me thought I was faking for attention too. I know him and Taylor have been friends for a long time but her being romantically linked with someone like that and being so carefree about it while he has been linked to 100th warranted controversy makes me feel sick in the stomach. It makes me wonder if she's like 'I know the things he said/did but I don't care ' and it hurts me so much to even think she feels that way. I know she is a good person and all that but.....the Taylor who made me feel accepted about being the odd kid in the school or the one who understood about my fear of growing up seems so far away. I feel so hurt by the fact that I am feeling this. I think I need to take a distance from her and her art and I don't know how long will that be.
Sorry if I bothered you with such a long paragraph but I feel you can understand this better than anyone here
hi love, i apologize it took me all day to answer this! so i'm going to be honest, i've been thinking about this specific situation ever since the first rumor surfaced, but i didn't address it since i know it sounds like fan-based bias, even though to me it's a larger issue than that.
let me digress for a moment - i've seen a lot of his fans try to defend the n*zi salute as "satire," and that it wasn't meant to be antisemitic, but as a jewish person, i find this deeply troubling, because, even as edgy ~performance art~, using such a direct symbol of hate is never okay (in conjunction with a lyric referencing someone who's been virulently antisemitic in public - and yes, the lyric itself is satirical criticism, but the combination of the two is unsettling, to say the least). it's concerning and it's hurtful and it's inappropriate, full stop. his non-apologies for his grossly racist and sexist comments are as well.
his antics onstage (i have to laugh at the raw steak thing somehow being a criticism of "toxic masculinity"...bro. what?) also cross a line from being performance art to being. ick. (UGH i'd forgotten that other incident you mentioned because it's gross and i blocked it from my memory. just. WHY!!!)
in truth, i had no idea who he was and had never even heard his name (though i was aware of the 1975, i never listened to them) until their album came out last year and suddenly he was spouting off everywhere and doing things and fans began to speak about the old rumors of he and taylor (which i dismissed out of hand, but now. idk). everything i've learned since has been against my will tbh.
which brings us to that awful queerbaiting comment. if you've followed me for any length of time, you know this is a particular hot button issue of mine, i just get incensed at the way that term is misused and weaponized against real people, and harry gets it in a particularly disgusting way because certain sections of the internet seem to feel a superiority complex in tearing him down for existing. never once has harry claimed to be a bastion of queerness or a trailblazer of fashion, and yet he's criticized for...what exactly? being himself? dressing however one chooses without being boxed in by gender expectations is exactly what we're meant to be aiming for, isn't it? not demanding someone's label and identity is supposed to be part of championing the community, isn't it? his choice to remain unlabeled matters. not only because it's no one's business but his own, but also because BEING an unlabeled/mspec person IS itself a whole identity. what matty said about this was appalling and WAY over the line, and particularly disrespectful since they're supposedly friendly. he had no right to make the comments that he did. he should've received more criticism for it than he did (and had he attacked anyone but harry, he probably would have).
(i wish what adam lambert said in response had gotten more traction. Automatically labeling looks and performances that aren’t cisheteronormative as queerbait is “almost underestimating the intelligence of gay people.”)
you feeling enraged and hurt by that is understandable, and you have every right to feel that way. it touches my heart to read that harry has helped you feel more at peace with your sexuality. i've mentioned before that i've grappled with what exactly mine is too and where i fall on whatever spectrum, and just the idea that we don't even HAVE to put a concrete definition on that, or that it's allowed to be fluid, is a relief. i also feel like there's a huge amount of bias where people forget that just because you haven't been in a relationship with someone of ___ identity/gender doesn't mean your own identity isn't real! you DON'T have to tick every box, and you ARE allowed to expand or change along the way, and you're still you and still valid! nobody has to have one set label forever, and nobody else is owed that explanation from you!
He made me realise it's okay to not know everything and it felt like a warm hug from a friend. 🥺💕💕💕 this is so sweet and i feel confident he would be touched by it too.
i am SO sorry that what matty said hurt you the way that it did, it was a reckless, thoughtless thing of him to say, and you and every other person who is working out their identity or who feels confident remaining unlabeled deserves better than him cruelly running his mouth. (which i also think had a level of jealousy in it, because, let's be honest here - he's never going to be harry, success-wise, and he also admitted harry declined to perform at his show, so). matty has frustrated and upset me on multiple occasions since i became aware of his behavior, and you're allowed to feel that way.
regarding taylor, as i said earlier, of course we have no control nor input over what she does or who she associates with, and much as we may love her, she is just a flawed human being too and she has made mistaken choices, and has overlooked behavior from others that perhaps she shouldn't have, or that we wouldn't ourselves, but only she can make those decisions for her life. i've seen a lot of disgust and concern over this on my dash, and i'm with everyone on all of that, but at the same time i think it's a bit of a wake-up call that she is her own autonomous woman whom we do not know personally, and we have to find our own ways to approach that boundary. if that means ignoring this until it blows over, if that means taking space away from her for a while, if that means making silly jokes. i think as long as we're not harassing others (which you would never! <3 but the uptick in cruel anons/death threats that have happened this past month make me sad and i wish everyone could take a breath and...not do that!), however we choose to deal with it is the best we can do. i tend to suspect she's been going through it, and maybe this won't last long, but that doesn't make it a great look nor is it unconcerning. regardless, you should do what's best for yourself and look out for your well-being. if that means detaching for a while, i promise it doesn't make you a bad fan, even though i know that hurts ("the Taylor who made me feel accepted about being the odd kid in the school or the one who understood about my fear of growing up seems so far away." though i'm older than you, this happened to me in my own sense during my 1989 disconnect. i really do get it, and seeing a similar pattern here is a bit painful). i also want to say that i think, knowing what we do know about her and her character and kindness, she'd still want you to feel accepted and loved, and wouldn't align with the trashy things he's said and done, but i understand why willingness to overlook it hurts as well.
thank you for confiding in me and letting this out, i know it's hard to talk about and feeling distanced from an artist with such meaning to you is a specific ache. the only advice i can give you is to step back however you need to, for however long you need to. whether you feel comfortable still holding onto her music but separating from her personally (and/or from tour), or whether you need space from all of it for a while, remember that it's always going to be there, and you can always come back. in the meantime, you can also turn to places and artists that are continuing to give you comfort (like harry, and i'm so glad he is that for you).
for what it's worth, i love you and i know your identity is worthwhile, and YOU are worthwhile, and you deserve to feel safe and embraced and seen. anywhere you go, you don't need a reason. 💛💛💛
#anonymous#letterbox#your delicate point of view#ngl i wish this. was not what it is.#but unfortunately all we can do is deal however we're individually comfortable dealing#and hold onto the good however we can
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Bonus:
#fairly oddparents#fairly oddparents a new wish#fop a new wish#the fairly oddparents#timmy turner#denzel crocker#aj#fop aj#fop#a new wish#fairly odd parents a new wish#fairly odd parents#my art#fanart#I have plenty more ideas to draw for this au so hopefully I could get most of these done before my next semester starts#On one hand it's good that Timmy possibly didn’t become obsessed with finding his fairy godparents after witnessing firsthand what it did t#But at the same time it must sting for them to hear their former godkid outright deny your existence ngl#Also it's 5 am over here rn I really need to sleep oh god
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Rellana, Twin Moon Knight & Rennala, Queen of the Full Moon
prints ✦ full process on patreon
#elden ring#rennala#rellana#my art#shadow of the erdtree#ngl i don't share fandom's obsession with Rellana and find her character quite lacking#I wish we knew something more about her other than “hehe messmer simp”#bc yes rennalas marriage is a big part of her story but we also know a lot about her in other contexts and before the liurnian wars#which makes her much more interesting to me#bc idk im just not a fan of when in media the whole plot arch of a woman's story resolves around her relationship with a man#and i feel like with other women characters fromsoft did a better job at showing that they are human beings with different agendas etc#so when it comes to Rellana i love the POTENTIAL of what she could be
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as fun as it is to talk about the sillay crow family dynamics, i'm soo interested in what this means for the crow familia going forward in a darker lens.
im mostly speaking from the perspective of a rook de riva who romanced lucanis btw <3
illario brought the axe down on his own head after failing to take first talon. he's imprisoned except to play house whenever caterina wants to see him around for family dinners before tensions inevitably shove him back into the cage he's been left to like some house pet lmfao. it's actually kinda fucked up and as a certified sicko i love it. especially considering the casualness in which lucanis describes all of this. crows gotta be a little unhinged<3
But!!! while lucanis was right that illario's reputation is ruined forever as a traitor crow beaten to his knees before every house that doesn't exactly free house dellamorte either. Talon houses will want their pound of flesh of illario for nearly trying to put antiva under venatori control. and yet lucanis refused. house dellamorte showed mercy. they are breaking the rules, making exceptions. this is not how the crows operate and there should--WILL be retaliations for it. illario left this house bleeding in his attempt to claim first talon and their blood is in the water now with house dellamorte having a sole heir who blatantly exposed a weakness and seemingly has no lineage to take after him.
and nevermind that we know murmurs amongst the crows will linger about a first talon being an abomination. i know lucanis kind of handwaves it off as at the coffee date like 'there could be worst first talons' but baby boy, you have avoidance and denial issues this WILL become worse of a problem the longer it goes on. <3
more under the cut bc i didn't realize this was getting so long lol
but in comes fifth talon viago de riva. a bastard to the king of antiva who wants to strengthen the crown. a man who has been ruthlessly exacting and meticulous to get where he is now. and the scariest part is that he has ambition, always has, and knows he has more power than the king himself to make plays if he needs to. this makes for a dangerous (and sexy) combination. in comes his protege rook. casting silly family dynamics aside, viago knows this union between house dellamorte and de riva is extremely beneficial for both houses but also very dangerous. even he knows his ties to teia show a weakness in him that other crows may seek to exploit. and while i do think he may be sincere about wanting rook to find their happiness with lucanis as he has with teia - i truly think he will not shy from showing the importance of a 'political alliance/union' especially with first talon house dellamorte struggling from the blow after all is said and done.
and of course, by extension to de riva, house cantori and the beautiful lovely miss teia, will be extending her support to strengthen their houses but also herself from any opposition. as much as i love that she's kind of the heart that brings this fucked up lil familia together, i know she is just as cunning and clever to recognize what this alliance does for her too.
and caterina.. well, without going into a whole thought piece on her, she has built her (and her grandson's reputation) entirely to instill fear in others, even command enough respect to know she's the one running things while lucanis is just a stand-in as first talon. but what happens when caterina is gone? another dellamorte dead just like all the others. all lucanis has left is himself and his traitor brother. how does he handle illario? how does he fair being a leader to the crows when he didn't want any of this in the first place and no longer has caterina to guide him? how does he wish to pursue carrying the dellamorte legacy (if at all)? does he seek a protege of his own to take on after him? i can't remember who says it (viago or lucanis) but there's a line about how saving thedas will make their houses immortal (hot and very sexy) but also how far can that reputation protect house dellamorte, really?
i don't really have a point to all of this, this is all just stuff im simply chewing on and letting out into the ether because the ripple effect of repercussions with what illario did and what lucanis now has to deal with fascinates me SO MUCH.
#it's all so fucked up (affectionate)#dragon age#lucanis dellamorte#illario dellamorte#as much as i know in my heart lucanis deserves to be a malewife i really like to see him in situations i fear 😔 take him away from me#i still stand by what i said about wishing there was an option to kill illario bc i think hardening luca w/ that is also a fun avenue#to explore BUT letting illario live and imprisoned also kind of cooks ngl#(but im still giving the writers shit tho bc we know we couldnt do any substantial exploration of 'this is fucked up. what if we did that--#-- and made them worse' with the companion storylines)#aev plays da4#veilguard spoilers#datv spoilers#viago de riva#teia cantori#also thank you to my bestie for bouncing back and forth w/ me about this <3#long post
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I hate the sewers . jpg
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#larian studios#astarion#astarion ancunin#halsin#bg3 halsin#comics#fanart#me browsing my saved clips like 'wait why did i record this one—'#cuts the scene im laughin for solid 5 mins#i feel so bad for astarion it almost looks like he isn't my fav w this treatment kcvvnxovx#'the bank money can wait - we need to pamper astarion now'#hey past me why did u try to switch places w halsin instead of- yknow- tHE GUY YOU PAIRED HIM WITH#prob was bc halsin had more hp to let him step on fire - and also forgetting the water pipe does that#ngl i still don't really understand how to do this part the proper way#like- yeah i know what to do but it's never perfect and always someone will get burned or pushed#plot twist im making better numbers here than twt w bg3 so i'm posting here first while i do a twt detox#my mental health this month is hanging there by two strings and these strings are baldurs gate 3 and hades 2#currently doing my honor run with my rebooted tav'chyon the dracomonk pls wish me luck
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DO NOT BE AFRAID
this is combining Ovid's Heroides and the Excidium Troie because I can't stop thinking of Hermes telling him not to be afraid. what the fuck!! Ares is wearing the crown that Paris gave him.
I have. thoughts. about Paris. he's almost got this Troilos parallel in my mind, that the event that defines him in detail exists in a lost narrative that we don't have (the Cypria), but everyone else knew. the event that defines Troilos is his death (murdered, butchered by Achilles, the violence of which haunts everything after. Achilles, child killer, you can't escape that!), and the event that defines Paris is the Judgement. what's a lost text but a kind of grave!!
idk I don't think that Paris before the Judgement would recognize himself after bc when you become god touched, it rearranges your guts. you become transformed in the worst way possible! how could you recognize yourself! but I also think that all the Parises after the Judgement would recognize each other because that event is so locked into the trauma of war and the scar it leaves on the land, it's like a scar on the narrative too. it exists like this forever, over and over again, so you exist like that forever too. Troy collects grief and despairs.
Troy as trauma: Reflections on intergenerational transmission and the locus of trauma, Andromache Karanika
and Paris is like. a miserable little god/corpse-puppet or something, like a match for the gods to throw onto gasoline.
The Excidium Troie + Ovid's Heroides:
Excidium Troie, trans. Muhammad Syarif Fadhlurrahman
Ovid, Heroides 16 (trans. Harold Isbell)
a collection of things regarding Paris that made me go 😬 but under a cut bc this is getting. very long.
The Divine Twins in Early Greek Poetry, Corolla Torontonensis
Iliad 24 and the Judgement of Paris, C.J. Mackie
Elegy and Epic and the Recognition of Paris: Ovid "Heroides" 16, Elizabeth Forbis Mazurek
Ennian Influence in "Heroides" 16 and 17, Howard Jacobson
Paris/Alexandros in the "Iliad", I. J. F. de Jong
#long post#paris of troy#komiks tag#like. DISTANTLY. its#the iliad#drawing tag#listen i know it's fun to dunk on paris. but im a chronic killjoy. i know its cringe. mea culpa etc#i would love. I WOULD LOVE. to draw a comic and not have the commentary notes be longer than the comic itself#unfortunately i like to read and i cannot stop talking about things that i read. so this will not be changing.#ngl i keep hearing the last line 'my brother says you are a just judge' as 'and brutus says he is an honorable man' and that's smth for sur#god i wish this was shorter but then i remember it could've been longer bc i started drawing this while watching#some excellent korean horror but then i looked at myself in the mirror and said 'no. get your shit together.'#but that show is what sparked this. the themes. god i love shows. a round of applause for tv shows.#in a different world theres a version of me that didn't exercise self restraint and there's 30 screen caps from a horror show here too#it’s all greek to me
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My take on that one magazine these guys did.
#osomatsu san#osomatsu-san#mr. osomatsu#ososan#osomatsu#karamatsu#ichimatsu#yeah i only did 3 cause theyre my fav ones ngl#i wish i was that water bottle#what
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anyway so this is something a bit more cheerful bc ngl his face was so funny in this scene. also someone said its the same face that one meme cat is doing and theyre right.
#our flag means death#ofmd#ofmd fanart#ofmd2#edward teach#blackbeard#season 2 didnt super endear me to him but im ngl#he was so babygirl also#oh jenkins why did u do what u did#i wish i could just enjoy my silly lil gay show without all these bad feelings
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Okay some of these I had written down before chapter 43 but I finally found the time to sit down and make a bingo sheet for the last few episodes. Ranging from Legitimate Predictions to Things I Want to Happen to You Know What? Sure 🤠
Template if anyone wants to make one of their own:
#the silt verses#the silt verses spoilers#had chekhov's withermark written before episoe 43 so I'm giving that to myself#though I wish I had phrased it as chekhov's crab nuke#intentionally writing final word for val instead of last word btw#listen midnight burger had a three hour season finale ALL I'M SAYING IS JON WARE MUNA HUSSEN YOU CAN DO ONE TOO!!#also i think the finale will end in silence BUT we'll get some sort of skippocalyptic song before that perhaps#ngl i'm actually hesitant in saying that the last two eps will lead up to a dramatic this is the place moment#mostly because that was what s2 led up to by the end#with the homesick corpse#listen most of these won't happen but for some I can dream#edit: in case this isn't obvious the bottom right one is my marco polo square#We End Where We Began...wading through the water...marco...polo..
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MOMMY SORRY MOMMY SORRY MOMMY-😳
my soul is all yours 😳👉👈
#this design for her#gggggodss marceline as a proper antagonist....#perhaps step upon me just maybe???#suck my soul out???#demolish me entirely???#WAIT WHATS GONNA happen to baby Finn??? 👀 is he gonna become a vampire too & become a vampire vampire slayer or something?#I would LOVe a vampire Finn design- show me him!#I thought hunson abadeer was gonna be the ruler but no its the lion guy! wish the crown changed his appearance though im ngl#that was the one part that was a bit dissapointing#seeing her holding down PB like that had me like 'god I wish that were me'#seems like lion man adopted her instead of Simon in this universe & that he stole the crown? would love to see someone speculate on the AUs#mine#op#adventure time spoilers#adventure time#adventure time fionna and cake#fionna and cake#marceline#marceline abadeer#marceline the vampire queen
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something about the erasure of platonic love in fandom bothers me. maybe its just that im aroace, maybe i just dont 'get' the differences between loving and being in love. but it bothers me.
#are you in love with the friend you hold when they cry#are you in love when you smile whenever you see someone#are you in love when you wish they were by your side because they always make you laugh#where is the boundary. where does love turn into something more#is it not knowing what youd do without them?#is it devotion? is it wanting the world and more for someone?#do you just know? is it a gut feeling?#i dont know and i probably wont ever know#but i think people see romance as something far more universal than it really is#anyways. bonus points if one of the characters is a minor i see that more than i should#not saying its inherently wrong to ship these kinds of characters also#its literally fine do what you want#i just think. maybe not everything has to be romantic#doodles#this is probably my hottest take ngl
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it would be helpful to have a sign showing me the right way. would it show me the right way ?
#project sekai#hinomori shizuku#hinomori shiho#ngl im not super satisfied with it but its a thought that as been around since shizuku colofes that i needed to put out#shizuku being lost in the garden of her fragment of sekai and wishing to have a sign of where to go#whereas shiho had Too many signs of Where she should go. oh fellas we’re really in it#to me it perfectly shows how that gap of shiho having a dream and passion from earlier on that drove her#whereas shizuku was thrown into hers and had to find her way into it#and how both their drive of what the Right way is…. like its whatever#but yeah maybe !! one day ill come back on it with a compo that im satisfied with
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just saw more on twitter about the stupid book and apparently theres a "timeline update" and supposedly hylia made the stupid magic pebbles
yeah sure, say whatever you want, theres no saving this shit anymore, lore down the drain yeehaaawww
one of my biggest fears before totk came out was that it would screw not only botw lore up but also mess with existing lore, and i hate to be right on that part, id much prefer if theyd leave whatever shit they invent as being something new and not something that has "totally always existed", they clearly dont care about lore consistency, why do they keep trying to connect things afterwards anyway
....... if im being honest, i was surprised but glad that the game didnt actually end up killing my passion for the franchise even if it made me struggle for a good while
but
the stupid book might. and im being serious.
i really just want to throw everything zelda related i ever made or bought away right now, it will only get worse from here and the sooner i can stop caring the better
"that sounds unhealthy" oh you dont say?? i am mentally ill, in fact, the passion that an obsession like that brings with it can turn into some really ugly distress, i am aware of it, i do fucking wish i could just stop caring about lore and timelines and find something else, but i cant, thats not how this works, just bc i am aware of how stupid this is doesnt mean i can change anything about it, i feel what i feel
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rants#when will i be free#ngl its getting rly hard to cope with this#the game at least was still just .. shitty game#the damn book is making it all worse trying to hastily integrate anything it introduced#when the game itself was more disconnected from it as a whole than any other game#to bad i made this stupid franchise my whole personality#i am nothign without it#wish i could sue nintendo for emotional damage or soemthing#should have just ended the franchise and moved on to make a billion shitty mario pratt movies#at least it would have ended somewhat gracefully#i know im over emotional over this#i know#but again i cannot stop feeling what i feel just bc i know its dumb as shit
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Nothing else matters except seeing Loona starting to embrace Blitz as a her dad🥹
#i teared up at the ending ngl#her telling him she will be there even tho she doesn’t know what he’s talking about#i do wish we saw more of this in seeing stars#bc even with this ep finally out seeing stars still has the same problems it had before#it does give some added context to Loona’s speech to Octavia i will say that#but overall the handling of loona and blitz in seeing stars still feels like a reset#thats me tho#i still love these little moments in ep 8 tho#just wish they stuck around more in s2#helluva boss#hb#helluva boss spoilers#hb spoilers#helluva boss loona#helluva boss blitz#helluva boss episode 8#queen bee
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ok hear me out
#fire emblem engage#fire emblem#alear#m!alear#long haired alear...........#wish you could change their hairstyles in game ngl#I MEAN i love him no matter what BUT IMAGINE HIM WITH LONG HAIR AAAAAAA#sorry i went insane teehee
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Relief.
#mobile suit gundam#mobile suit gundam the witch from mercury#gundam witch#gwitch#sulemio#suletta mercury#miorine rembran#the last few episodes were messy as fuck ngl#but hey at least sulemio are canon married#just wish the series had done a better job of establishing its stakes near the end#like they never really even explained what was so bad about quiet zero#or what it would do in general#the giant space laser was just pointless and ultimately affected nothing#i kind of expected spirits in the data storm also#but would have liked to have seen notrette more than el4n#anyway here’s my ramble in the tags#overall good show just wish the end hadnt been so messy#soda art
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