#some of us choose to never want to marry humans again

[queenoftsage]

I knew about that movement[4B], but didn't give a fuck...

Then I saw your video and I was like... ah... The privilege is privileging... [person was claiming they didn't know about it, while living in SK]

Like, when privileged people speak from a privileged place, it's kind of mind numbing. In a lot of sentences you uttered, you basically invalidated a lot of people. I guess it's how you say, letting people live a life of a 'equality' is just a fantasy.

.... cute... But not cute at all.

Must be so nice to have grown up with a really loving father who showed you nothing be sweetness and such. I hope he was like that with everyone around him and not just you and your brother.

[and out of pure fear, those people he might have hurt 'will NEVER' speak on the fucked up shit your father did. I hope I'm very wrong about that.]

I tried to sit there and listen to your entire shpiel and got nothing but 'pick me' vibes from it because well... You yourself said you were a pick me while not saying you're a pick me. lol. You said you wanted to be a wife and not lose out on the 'marriage age bracket'.

Apparently you've never seen some people who meet each other way after the 'marriage age bracket' thing you kept speaking of. lol.

That's how I know, you invalidated a shit ton of people. Congratulations. *claps ironically*

I still don't agree with you. End of story.

I'm sure the people who follow the '4B movement' are just quiet about it in your country, because they know they'll get privileged people like you, invalidating their stance. It's kind of the same shit that happens with 'Feminism' over there.

I'm sure there are tons of people holding in all the shit they could say about the 'nicest' people ever, just because of pure fear.

Speaking up to bring down monsters is the scariest shit we as humans can try to do, but also the bravest.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

How do I write mean insults that's in character for a character to say? I'm personally poor at coming up with insults that don't sound generic or would actually cut deep, being mean in general. I want to write a snarky character with a dry sense of humour when it calls for it but don't know how to go about it.

He's also recovering from a superiority and inferiority complex.

As the writer, you know your character best, and what insults would make sense for them to say (also considering the bigger context of the scene). So, I'll just provide you with a compilation of prompts and notes from different sources, and you can choose which ones are most appropriate to incorporate in your story.

Writing Notes: Insults & Dry Humor

A List of "Sophisticated" Insults

Craven - having or showing a complete lack of courage; very cowardly

Fatuous - silly or stupid; complacently or inanely foolish. From Latin infatuate, which once meant "to make foolish," but which now usually means "to inspire with foolish love or admiration."

Insipid - not interesting or exciting; dull or boring

Obstreperous - difficult to control and often noisy

Obtuse - stupid or unintelligent; not able to think clearly or to understand what is obvious or simple

Pusillanimous - weak and afraid of danger. It's been used by such notables as Ralph Waldo Emerson ("It is a pusillanimous desertion of our work to gaze after our neighbours"), and the disgraced Vice-President Spiro Agnew, who called journalists "pusillanimous pussyfooters."

Sanctimonious - pretending to be morally better than other people. It once meant "possessing sanctity; holy, sacred." The genuinely holy aspect faded, and William Shakespeare is credited with first using sanctimonious to mean "hypocritically pious or devout."

Twee - sweet or cute in a way that is silly or sentimental. Just as buddy is believed to be a baby talk alteration of "brother", twee is a baby talk alteration of "sweet". Although twee is still considered a chiefly British term, it's increasingly popular in American English.

Unctuous - revealing or marked by a smug, ingratiating, and false earnestness or spirituality. Unction can mean "anointment" or it can name something used to anoint, such as a soothing or lubricating oil. That idea of oiliness led to unctuous, which can describe the slickness of false sincerity.

Vacuous - having or showing a lack of intelligence or serious thought; lacking meaning, importance, or substance

The insult would also depend on which other character it is directed at. Here is a list of "funny" insults for adults from Reader's Digest:

My days of not taking you seriously have come to a middle.

You are the human equivalent of a participation trophy.

If you were a spice, you’d be flour.

You may have a sparsely attended funeral.

I smell something burning. Are you trying to think again?

You’re like a lighthouse in a desert: bright but not very useful.

Don’t worry—the first 30 years of childhood are always the hardest.

May your life be as pleasant as you are.

You’re as useless as the “ueue” in “queue.”

Your face is just fine. It’s your personality that’s the issue.

...and for your character's significant other:

I like you. People say I have no taste, but I like you.

You continue to meet my expectations.

I’ll never forget the first time we met. But I’ll keep trying.

If genius skips a generation, our kids will be brilliant.

We were happily married for a month. Too bad it’s our 10-year anniversary.

I admire the way you try so hard.

You’re entitled to your incorrect opinion.

Have you tried doing it the way I told you to the first time?

The best part of watching a show with you is when you fall asleep because then I can watch my show.

Don’t call me crazy—you’re the one who married me!

You can always alter these to better suit your character. You can read the full list here, which also includes some insults for kids, best friends, and family.

Tips for Better Humor Writing

Humor writing isn’t all about landing a good joke (except for when it is). In creative writing, the effect is usually a bit more nuanced. Here’s a few writing techniques to get you started:

Subvert expectations. Try to undermine the audience’s expectations or reform them with structural elements.

Save the best for last. Humor is often a release of tension, so the sentence builds that tension, and the pay-off—the punchline—happens most naturally at the end. This is also sometimes referred to as the “rule of three,” where two thoughts act as a build-up to the final humorous closer.

Use contrast. Are your characters in a terrifying situation? Add something light, like a man obsessing about his briefcase instead of the T-Rex looming behind him.

Use good wordplay. Sometimes words themselves are funny, and just as often, their placement in a sentence can make a difference. Some words are just funnier than others, so make a list of those that amuse you the most.

Take advantage of cliché. While clichés are something most writers try to avoid, it’s important to recognize them,so you can use them to your advantage. Humor relies in part on twisting a cliché—transforming or undermining it. You do this by setting up an expectation based on the cliché and then providing a surprise outcome. In humor writing, this process is called reforming.

Use humor as a counterbalance. If you just pile on one terrible thing after another, it starts to become ridiculous, and people won’t buy it. Using humor is a great way to achieve the proper balance between fantasy and real life. Remember, if a roller coaster only did twists and turns the whole time, it wouldn’t be as fun to ride.

Level of Intensity

There are people who shrug off an insult (“That’s just the way she is”) and people who commit murder over an insult (“I’m avenging my honor!”). Plus, of course, everything in between. Which is your character?

To be believable, consider the following:

Personality. How hard does your character take events in general? Does s/he get really excited over good fortune and really depressed over setbacks? Then we’ll find it believable that s/he gets really angry and reacts accordingly.

The second cause of an intense reaction is the nature of the specific fight that you’re creating on the page. Lily Owens lets most of her father’s insults go by (“the art of survival”). But when he starts in about her mother, the topic is too important to Lily to gloss over. Lily’s reaction is intense. She runs away. Another type of character might merely have seethed silently. Still another might have fought T. Ray more intensively, setting fire to the house with him inside.

Finally, the strength of fights is culturally determined. Where public or even private scenes are disapproved of (upper-class London, old-money Boston, “well-behaved” families), arguments may be muted, even when the subject matters a great deal. In other cultures, volatility is not frowned on, and people may feel free to scream at each other in public. In extreme cases, murder may even be considered a duty, as in avenging a sister’s sexual assault.

Where is your story taking place? Are your arguers in tune with local or family culture? Maybe not. You can create interesting effects by portraying the rebels against the local mores: the meek child born into a battling family, the furious feminist in polite 19th-century English society.

On Dry Humor

Dry humor - is all about the subtle irony of the facts being stated plainly; it is the contrast between sentiment and reality that makes the situation funny.

The technique is known for its simple, often matter-of-fact declarations that will make the audience laugh or be perplexed (humor is subjective, after all).

With dry humor, delivery and intention create a sort of comedic cognitive dissonance or contrast. Sometimes it is as simple as using a bit of sarcasm, but it can also be more than that.

Dry humor lives and dies on the back of doing less.

Less facial expressions, less props, less setup—less is often more when it comes to landing the joke. You aren’t using a big, dramatic setup or a grandiose vocabulary to make your point.

Essentially, these jokes are derived from saying the opposite of what is meant or delivering them in a way that purposefully counteracts the supposed meaning of what is being said.

Dry Humor in Writing

The function of dry humor has often been to highlight the absurd.

It is effectively executed in moments where satirization of the circumstances at play require little more than noting the facts aloud.

When writing this sort of humor, quick, cutting accuracy is key to making the jokes land.

Simplicity is king, and an honest statement of the facts will always lead the way to finding the funny.

Sources: 1 2 3 4 5 ⚜ More: References ⚜ Humour ⚜ Laughter & Humour

Hope this helps with your writing!

[arc-misadventures]

BMI Jaune: Willow, Summer, and Kali?

BMI: Jaune II

Juniper: Jaune~!

Jaune: No...

Juniper: What?

Jaune: No. Whatever it is, the answer is: No.

Juniper: But, I never said anything?

Jaune: But, you're going to ask me something, and whatever the ask is about, the answer is: No.

Juniper: ...

Juniper: BMI...

Jaune: AHHHH?! Not this shit again!

Juniper: Your chose for this BMI, are Willow Schnee.

Willow: Hello, Jaune~!

Jaune: Hi...?

Juniper: Kali Belladonna.

Kali: Oh look, it's my favourite human~!

Jaune: Why did you say it like that...?

Juniper: And, lastly we have, Summer Rose.

Summer: Hello, Daddy~!

Jaune: Excuse me, what...?

Juniper: Are you ready to choose who you going to, BMI, Jaune~?

Jaune: The hell are you making me choose between my friend’s mom?!

Juniper: Well, as one woman/mother to another, they told me about their... pitiful sex lives, or lack there of in some cases...

Summer: Juniper?!

Kali: How could you just say that?!

Willow: Considering my ex-husband size or, more accurately the lack there of... Honestly, there isn't much to brag about. There is certainly plenty to complain about however…

Juniper: What? Both of your husbands are dead, so you haven't had much, if any action since they died.

Kalli: Well, that's true...

Summer: It's not like we did it much after I had, Ruby...

Juniper: And, Willow... I'm sorry you had to go through that so often...

Willow: While, I love my children with all my heart, and I wouldn't trade them for the world. I do sometimes find myself wishing I had my son sooner so I didn't have to have... relations as often as I did.

Juniper: See! They have sad sexless lives since they lost their husbands. And, Willow had...

Juniper: She had, Jacques...

Juniper: So, Jaune please, BMI these three woman, and help them ‘fix’ their dry spell?

Jaune: ...

SKW: Please~?

Jaune: ...

Jaune: Haaaa...

Jaune: I would Marry, Summer.

Summer: And, why do you want to do that, Husband Dearest~?

Jaune: 'Husband dearest?"

Jaune: Okay? Okay, I say that because you look like you would be a wonderful housewife to come home to.

Summer: Naww~!

Jaune: Plus you look like the woman/wife who would do the, "Hi honey, welcome home! Would like a bath, dinner, or me?" Type of woman, and I...? Ahem... yeah that...

Summer: Oh; Is that so~?

Jaune: ...

Jaune: I Would, Breed Kali.

Kali: Why?

Jaune: Well... You have large birthing hips... and I want to give those birthing hips a run for their money...

Kali: Oh, I hope feel like we're going to enjoy that~!

Jaune: Hahaha...

Jaune: I would impregnate, Willow.

Willow: Oh, why would you do that?

Jaune: ...

Jaune: I hate you ex-husband with a burning passion. A lot of people think that killing him, or torturing him to death would be the best sort of revenge for what he did. But, I think... taking his woman, and making her mine is a much more tantalizing idea~!

Willow: Y-Yours?

Jaune: I’ll make you my woman! By the time I’m through with you, you’ll fit around me perfectly, no other man will satisfy you, you’ll come begging for more, and I’ll be all to happy to oblige~!

Willow: Y-Y-You promise…?

Jaune: Uhh… Well… T-That is of we… did do it…

Summer: Do you think he could do that?

Kali: Maybe? My daughter did say he’s quite big.

Willow: How big?

Kali: Six when soft, ten when hard, and plenty thick as well~!

Willow: Heavens, say it is so~!

Summer: Are you really that big~?

Jaune: WHAT?! How the hell do you know that?!

Willow: He is~!

Summer: Hmm… Juniper, please be a dear, and leave.

Juniper: Why?

Summer: Because, the sooner you leave, the sooner you’ll have grandchildren~!

Juniper: Good luck, Jaune! Remember to not use a condom!

Jaune: W-W-What?! Wait… hold on!

Kali: Don run, Jaune: The fun is about to begin~!

Willow: Come on, Jaune… it’s time to continue the, Arc bloodline~!

Summer: So what will it be, Jaune; Will you take, Kali, or do you want, Willow, or perhaps me~?

Jaune: Ohhh…?!

Jaune: P-Please be gentle…?

SKW: Fu-fufu~!

Kali: No promises~!

[erenjaegerwifee]

The Selection

Prologue

Paring: Neteyam x Fem!Tawakmi!Reader

Warnings: none, some flirting.

Word Count: 2.7k

Disclaimer: All my characters are aged-up! If that bothers you feel free to scroll and do not interact with my account or any of my post.

~ This is the first part to my new series! I hope you all like the idea and enjoy reading! Suggestion are welcome I'd love to hear your ideas. in this series I should make you aware I will be including some human things, there will be some pretending when it comes to those things. the technology for instance will be something that is heavily in the series. human songs is also something that will be mentioned throughout, which will include some songs and lyrics (but Y/n is gonna write them so it wouldn't be considered human in this series)

Series M.List | Main M.List

“Neteyam the war is over, it is high time you choose a wife” Neytiri, his mother said to him while they were all having dinner. “Yea son, I know that for a long time it is all we thought about but you should get out there, get to know some people” his father, Jake pipped up. 

“Being married is great I promise, I didn’t think I'd like it this much man seriously” his brother Lo’ak said as he hugged his wife Korra against his side making her giggle. Neteyam smiles at his brother and new sister, they had such a strong relationship ever since they were young, the type of friends you knew one day they would mate and be as one. Neteyam has never had anyone like that, he has had friends and girls he was interested in but this war changed people, took people. He just isn’t really attracted to anyone in his clan right now.  

“I hear you; I know a bond is important to form, but honestly this war has taken so much out of all of us, there isn’t much people left in the clan and no one I can say I really feel for.” Neteyam sighed as he told his family as he passes his hand over the scar, he now has on his chest from getting shot all those years ago. His parents look at him sympathetically, they know what it feels like to be in love, they only want their children to feel the same one day, to feel that happiness. 

“Ok, I attended a meeting with the clan leaders from across the forest, they too have suffered much lose from this war and one of them pitched an idea I thought was interesting, I did not agree beforehand because I wasn’t sure you would agree” Jake sighed and glanced at his wife before continuing, “In the Kekunun clan, they have this tradition where men try through a series of competitions and challenges to win over the woman of their choosing, they pitched that if you were open too it, you can hold one of your own here, and which ever woman you choose will be your mate for life and join their clan with ours, so don’t suffer such a lose alone. You will rule both clans side by side.”  

His family looked at him while he contemplated his options, it was not the worse idea, maybe someone from the other clans might catch his attention. Maybe he might fall in love with someone, “How will we choose which girls will enter?” Neteyam asked his father.  

“Well, you can let the clans decide which girl they think is best fit or you can send someone you know to survey the crowds and choose a girl they think you’ll like, the point of this is to find you a match you are happy with, making the clan bigger is just a bonus” his father said. “We only want you to be happy son” his mother spoke up.  

Neteyam sighed again, “Ok, we will do it, but I want someone to survey the clans” his family waited for him to say who they will send and Neteyam didn’t have to give it much thought, at the end of the day only his family stood with him in the hard times, only his family held his hand throughout all of the injuries and loses, “Lo’ak, I trust his judgement, he’ll find me the right girls.”  

Lo’ak smiled at his brother, over the years they had depended on each other a lot, they grew much closer than their teenage years, they are not only brothers but good friends, they have kept each other safe countless times now, there really is no one Neteyam has more trust in to think of his best interest.  

Lo’ak has been to three clans so far with his wife, all three times he had chosen a woman he thinks his brother might like. He has been to the Tanrangi Clan by the eastern sea, the Olangi Clan that reside in the forest plains of Pandora and the Kekunun Clan that live in the Mountains. Visiting them has been a real experience for Lo’ak he was able to spend time with the people and get to know their customs before he chose a woman.  

It was easier than expected the women he chose just stood out to him, and his wife was much help in decided as well because Lo’ak came to realize, all the other forest clans have heirs that are women. Not a man besides their father was in the family, someone them were only children but some had sisters, none so far had brothers.  

Lo’ak must make one more stop, the furthest clan in the forest, a good three days travel away from the omatikaya clan, it was the Tawkami clan. Rumor has it you reside in one of the forest clans but Lo’ak has yet to see you. He just knows you would be perfect for his brother, but he can’t help but feel a bit selfish about wanting to choose you, yes, he has a wife and he loves her more than anything, he would never do anything to hurt her. But ever since Lo’ak heard the sound of your voice in his teens he’s been crushing hard, almost like a fantasy he knows he has no shot, he knows he doesn’t want it, he just likes you. He had this idea in his head about what you might be like and he always wondered what it would be like to meet you. 

Now Lo’ak is no stalker, he knows what you look like simply from pictures, but what na’vi on Pandora doesn’t know you? You are famous on Pandora, your voice people say was a gift from the great mother herself, they say your body was hand shaped by Eywa from how incredibly beautiful you are. They way your waves fall so lovely down your back, the silky curls bounce with every movement you make.  

Lo’ak has only seen videos and heard recordings but he has never gotten the chance to meet you. Why were you so out of reach to the public, he wasn’t even sure what clan you are from. He definitely thinks you are perfect though, but maybe his opinion on your is biased. Korra understands Lo’ak’s feelings towards you, she’d be lying if she said she didn’t also admire you, the way you moved when you danced in the videos she saw, it was so graceful and full of meaning.  

They talked about it the entire trip, every clan they would look for you and every clan they would be disappointed they didn’t find you; this is their last chance. They fly over the entrance of the Tawkami clan attracting the people below. This clan was beautiful, big space, Lo’ak knows they fought besides them in battle but they didn’t not return in the numbers they gave out. They are highly skilled and in tune with their land. 

Lo’ak jumped off his ikran and walked over to Korra to help her off her ikran. The pair walked hand in hand up to the crowd and greeted all of them. Everyone knows they are omatikaya, they know Lo’ak and who his father way, they also are very much aware of his skills as a warrior and is well respected at the clan.  

The clan’s Olo’eyktan with his three sons came forward, Lo’ak and Korra respectfully greeted them and they returned the gesture. “Lo’ak, son of Toruk Makto, what brings you so far from your clan?” Olo’eyktan spoke up. Tsahìk has joined them shortly after greeting them respectfully. “This is my wife, Korra. We are here to inform the clan that the Omatikaya have decided to hold a competition for the hand of Toruk Makto’s eldest, my brother Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk’itan, the winner will join clans with ours and we will live as one. I was sent to choose the woman and request her presence to the clan to start the games in one weeks time”  

“Walk with me son” the Olo’eyktan invited Lo’ak, Korra walked alongside them as they spoke, “You are meant to choose clan leading children, right?” the man asked. Lo’ak nodded his head waiting for the man to continue speaking, “I am afraid I only have the one daughter; she is off age and if she is willing to participate in this competition you will have my blessing,”  

The Tsahik of the clan speed up her pace to stand in front of the three, “She has a beautiful connection to Eywa son, she must be taken care off if we allow her to come to your clan. How long will she be staying?” Korra spoke up before Lo’ak did, “the selection will take six months, between those six months some of the women who Neteyam is not interested in will be sent home.”  

Tsahik made eye contact with her husband speaking without words, almost as if Lo’ak read their mind, “Her place at the clan is welcome, she will be treated as one of our own, but we cannot guarantee she will be the one my brother chooses. If she is not, we will ensure her safe passage back. My brother is not only looking for a capable woman, he is looking for a loving wife, I am only here to see which one might be best suited, in the end it will be up to him.” Lo’ak’s eyes dart between them both before letting out a nervous sigh.  

It was never easy to explain to the clan leaders their children may not be Neteyam’s wife but they accepted anyways, many have respect for his brother, many women want to mate him, but not everyone has the same advantage in the games. “Let us introduce you and you can ask her yourself.” 

You sat on in a small clearing humming tunes of songs and sewing on some beads you gathered earlier in the day. You felt at peace in the forest, it was always something you loved to enjoy by yourself, the wind blew softly through your curls that fell over your eyes slights and down to the middle of your back. It was sort of uncommon for Na’vi women to have nags but you always thought they suited your face well, especially with your full curls, “Y/n!” you heard your mother shout. 

You heard turned to the voice before you stood up and ran in the direction of your mother. “Sa’nok? What is it?” you pull a big leaf down to walk in front of it being met with bother your parents, and a man and woman you did not recognize.  

The spark in their eyes when they saw you was something you would never get tired of, they are your fans, your mother brought fans to meet you? Thats a first. You brought your hand up to your forehead to greet them respectfully smiling sweetly, “I see you, y/n” they both said in sync copying your motion making you smile.  

You parents excused themselves mumbling to each other about how they hoped you said yes. You look at them confused before turning to the couple, “May I know your names?” you said sweetly. “I am Lo’ak, son of Toruk Makto, this is my mate, Korra” you smile at them both before silence took over as if they did not know what else to say. “It is nice to meet you both, may I ask why you journeyed so far from your clan?” your eyes dart between them.  

“We have come to choose women from the forest clans for my brother to mate, it is a competition to see who is best suited for him, in return the winning woman will join her clan with the Omatikayan and we will live as one. I know this is short notice but the games start in one week, we have chosen you if you will accept?” Lo’ak said, his grip on his wife’s hand was a bit hard but he was just so nervous on whether you would say yes. You are famous across the moon, everyone and their mother knows about your blessed voice, he just knew he would be doing right by his brother if you accepted. 

“Wow, this is quite a decision, how long will I be staying at your clan?” you bit your lip swinging from side to side as you contemplate, no one has ever asked you to compete for someone else’s hand, people compete for yours. “Six months, if it doesn’t work out between you two and he decides to go in a different direction, though I can’t imagine why, we will grant you safe passage home.” you giggle at him sly comment.  

And you nod your head, “the Omatikaya are 3 days travel away from here as you know, I will not be able to visit my family, it is a big decision to make. I do not want to shut you down but I have no idea what your brother looks like” you tilt your head to the side slightly. Lo’ak sighs assuming you are about to shut him down. “Tell you what, how about you stay for dinner and leave first thing in the morning, I shall give you my answer then” you smile at them.  

You try to ignore the way they both look at each other in a celebratory way and you lead them back to the clan while they ask you questions about how you write your songs and your music, if it is true, you are also a good dancer. Their excitement to talk to you makes you smile, you had secretly always loved the attention that came with being famous, the way people always treated you nicely and how they travel the moon looking for you just to hear you sing.  

After dinner you get tucked away thinking about the situation, your parents have been hounding you about getting a mate for the longest, it is a bit difficult though. You always loved the gifts Eywa blessed you will but men do not want you for a wife, they want you for a lay. You are one of the most beautiful women on the moon according to some, you are something people want to say they have had, like an object. Mates should not treat you like that so you never committed to being anyone’s wife. Maybe Lo’ak’s brother will be different, maybe he will love you for you and not what you have. You knew you had your iPad and you can call your mother whenever you needed but you’ve never really been away from your family before. What if this doesn’t work out, what if you fall in love with him and he doesn’t love you back. No relationship is formed without risk, right? 

The next morning breakfast was served to your guests they made themselves ready to take off to their home clan. They must be relieved to be going home now, they definitely didn’t forget you told them you would have an answer now.  

“So, what’s it gonna be princess? Have you decided whether or not my brother is worth your time?” Lo’ak asked. 

“Well, I’m not sure about that I don’t know him how can I know if he is worth my time?” you giggle at him. “But what is reward without risk? I will be there.” Lo’ak and Korra both smiled at your answer and gave you a hug goodbye. Bidding them safe travels, you watched them fly away.  

“Are you sure about this sis?” your brother Kian asked you, he was your first younger brother, second born in your family. “I am, what is the worst that can happen? I come back here?” you snort making him laugh. “No, I know, I just do not want you to get hurt by this.” you smile at him then glance down to your feet, “We cannot control the things that happen baby brother, we can only control how we react to them.” 

You yanked on his tail and ran away leaving him to chase you in circles around your parents, you will miss them dearly.  

~ I hope you all like it so far! I’m not sure how much chapters I’m writing but as I update I’ll put them here so look it or comment to be tagged!

~ Reblogs, Comments and Likes are always appreciated

Taglist

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[baphometsss]

Going purely on what is established by canon, I think the most likely scenario is that Solas and Mythal were an owner/pet dynamic. She didn't see the elves as her equals, because she viewed herself as a God. She didn't see Solas as her equal, but as her guard dog who needed a little chin scratch every now and then to keep him from stepping out of line. She was as much a mother to him as woman can be to a pet dog. The fact that her temple is surrounded by statues of him guarding entrances, and that the Dalish use his statues as guardian stones, speaks to this dynamic. The reason that it's described as hard for mortals to understand is that they are both beings who were among the first of their kind, with Mythal being the second after Elgar'nan, and Solas coming much later when their actions provoked a war. We can't 'understand' it because by DATV, the elves are mortal and described as her 'distant children'. In effect, the Evanuris viewed themselves as a totally different species to the elvhen, a sentiment echoed by Abelas towards the Dalish Inquisitor. Solas himself has the same attitude toward modern Thedosians at the beginning of DAI. It's reminiscent of real-world supremacist idealogues, which are founded on the idea that there are correct and incorrect ways to be human.

I strongly suspect that this was one of the major sticking points in their relationship. Solas knew he was just as ancient as the Evanuris, but because he didn't take a body at the same time as them and has less experience of being a person, they will never see him as an equal. This is addressed in his letter to Elgar'nan. Solas refuses to acknowledge this as he doesn't agree with their way of thinking but... in some ways they were right. Not in not seeing him as an equal but in being more experienced at personhood. During the Inquisition, Solas actually learns for the first time what personhood fully entails, because it's only by visiting the other extreme of personhood (mortality) that he's able to marry it to his own identity. He meets Cole and guides him like a parent or older brother in how to live on the earth. He meets Sera and other elves and sees how their culture has changed, for both better and worse. With Varric, he is confronted with the consequences of his actions against the Dwarves during the war. Potentially, he falls in love for the first time, and this, to use his own words, 'changes everything'.

The memory of Ghilan'nain is a parallel to his betrayal by Mythal in the earlier memory. Ghilan'nain says he chose to limit himself by refusing the mantle of godhood, a sentiment that is echoed in his betrayal by Mythal. Solas had respect for Ghilan'nain early on because she was a creative genius and also a 'child of the earth' ie, not among the first of their people, like him. As a manifested wisdom spirit, he'd have been drawn to her experiments and desire to learn. This doesn't mean it was romantic love, not least because we know Ghilan'nain was in love with Andruil, but certainly I think he loved her at some point too. She presented an opportunity to reflect wisdom, which is what brings Solas fulfilment and forms the basis of his relationships.

Yet, just like Mythal, he is betrayed by another friend who valued power over love. He gets it a bit mixed up I think, because in his correspondence he suggests that Ghilan'nain is only with the Evanuris because she loves Andruil. Once again he removes Ghilan'nain's agency by refusing to acknowledge that she wants to be with the Evanuris for her own reasons, something she informs him of in her response. This is an interesting parallel between Solas and Ghilan'nain's relationship with Mythal and Solas's, as it's an example of how Solas doesn't want to accept the agency of those who betray him. The thought that their desires diverge to the point that his friend would choose them over their friendship or doing the right thing by the elves is too painful. Similarly, Mythal married Elgar'nan, ostensibly to keep him in line like Solas believed, but also, I think, because she actually did love him too. They were the first two elves, evenly matched; this would've been a profoundly unique bond. Maybe not a romantic one, but certainly a strong, likely pathological one; they wouldn't have married for no reason. Solas simply didn't understand their love because he was fundamentally different to them in that they wanted to be elves when he was content as a spirit. That core identity difference cannot be underestimated when analysing their relationships.

That said, the idea that someone as narcissistic as Mythal would've lowered herself to romancing her pet dog is laughable. She's literally still so angry about his rebellion in The Veilguard that she's blasted the heads off his statues. How dare he refuse to obey her, his master? How dare he burn her slave brand off his face? Ever heard of narcisisstic rage? Couple that with a few thousands years of being revered as a goddess and you'll have someone with an ego the size of a planet. Even Solas himself was well aware of this in DAI.

Elgar'nan too was a monster, yet Mythal calls him 'flawed, as all great rulers are'... which is just a bit of an understatement, don't you think? There's a refusal from Mythal to acknowledge the full scope of the evils the Evanuris perpetrated, even though she is dead by their hands. You have to convince her to help stop them from destroying the world. Mythal apparently loved Solas, but she also loves the elves, her 'children', and yet she's willing to overlook countless evils perpetrated by her family against them, and allow them to destroy the world they live in. She wasn't a good mother, like Flemeth wasn't a good mother to Morrigan, something that is given a lot of attention in previous games. Mother was a title she took because it gave her power, not because she was so full of love and nurturance that she just had to direct it somewhere. It's why the Benevolence retcon doesn't really work.

My point is, Mythal's understanding of love is deeply skewed. She is protective, true, but she also canonically will not accept being told she is wrong. Thus, her protection is just narcissistic rage once again. How dare you question her judgement that someone is worthy? It is a sin worthy of her wrath.

One of the hardest parts of coming to terms with your parents' shortcomings is accepting that they're not capable of giving you what you need. This is something that I think is echoed in the relationship between Solas and Mythal. Solas is desperate to be her equal and to receive the love he craves, but Mythal is too attached to her own power and desire to rule to change her fundamental attitudes towards Solas and the rest of her children. They will always be below her. She is not willing to sacrifice herself or her power for their sake, something Solas routinely asks her to do and which she refuses.

By the end of DAI, Solas is coming close to that understanding and I think this is the reason he's able to kill Mythal in the post-credits scene. It's also why I hate the framing of Mythal as his main motivation in DATV, because everything we've been told so far is that he's doing this largely due to his guilt over what he did to the world, not for her alone. He is willing to make the sacrifices that leadership requires. In this instance, he even sacrifices Mythal to achieve his goal, because by this point he has accepted that Mythal is part of the problem. Mythal is not willing to let go of the hierarchical structure the Evanuris created when they declared themselves gods, and thus she will not see eye to eye with him when he reduces everything to rubble and forces the survivors to rebuild from nothing.

It's also why I think the question of whether or not Solas would've sacrificed a romanced Inquisitor is neither here nor there, because it's like trying to compare apples and oranges. A romanced Lavellan is basically the antithesis of Mythal in that they're not pleased about being deified. They don't want to force their will on the world; they do it because they responded when someone was in need of help and wound up with a magic hand that gave them divine status. They're a random person who is just trying to do the right thing, and they act from a place of grace and empathy in the face of their enemies. They act with the wellbeing of the innocent in mind, not their own hubris. They respect and love Solas for who he is and they give him the freedom to make his own choices. This is the Inquisitor that Solas falls in love with, and the Inquisitor that tries to stop him with love--and succeeds. Not with their romantic bond alone but by engaging with the truest part of love, which is, ironically, nurturance, by bringing all the necessary parts together--past (Mythal), present (Rook), and future (Lavellan).

Solas wouldn't have killed a romanced Inquisitor because he simply never would've had the chance. A romanced Inquisitor knows him deeply enough to know how to get through to him in the way that matters.

[nyxtickled]

I kinda agree with that anon, and I’m a little confused about the marriage? If you guys are open to seeing other people as well that’s totally okay. But marriage seems like a commitment to loving that person. I understand being open to others, and we can’t marry multiple people. So is this your main partner and you guys have people on the side? Sorry if I am not understanding correctly 💚

hi there, i appreciate your approach from a place of curiosity/lack of understanding! i’m happy to explain my POV and that being said i do not expect everyone to agree with me. i’ll preface this by saying these are simply my own personal views on marriage/relationships and they are not “right” or better than anyone else’s. it’s just what works for us!

your statement “marriage seems like a commitment to loving that person” still rings completely true for us! we want to build a life together for the rest of time. we love each other. we care for each other. we’re committed to one another.

the best way for me to describe it is simply that we personally don’t believe that the only way to validate our love and commitment to one another is to restrict our love/intimacy/attraction to only each other.

we both feel that human connection is the most meaningful thing to take from this life. i never want my love for my wife to put her in any kind of box. i don’t want my wife to love me so much that she chooses to never pursue connections with anyone else—i want her to love me so much that she can pursue any connection she wants in this life and still choose to continue loving me, depending on me to be her safe space, her home base, her wife, her person.

i don’t want to be committed to my relationship, i want to be committed to my wife. i want to be committed to my wife’s happiness, joy, and human experience. i don’t need or want to be her only source of those things. if she meets someone and feels a connection to them, i want her to enjoy that. if she feels an attraction to someone, i want her to enjoy that. if someone else wants to love her, i want her to receive that. because it doesn’t mean she loves me any less.

to us, the human capacity for love is not a limited resource. any amount of love we give/receive outside of the love we share with each other has no impact on ours. like, if our love was a river, imagine it coming from an ocean. and if we have other Love Rivers in our lives, they don’t branch off from our personal Love River, they come from the Love Ocean and they each have their own Love River. that’s basically what relationship anarchy is to us.

hope that makes some kind of sense but again, nobody else has to agree. it works for us, it makes us happy, so that’s what we practice. it’s not a requirement for anyone else!

[c0smoshit]

Hi, I'm also a whore for some blonde guys. Mind finishing that Twilight Princess Link x reader one or do one where TP Link or Time Link realizes he wants to marry female reader?

At ur service sweetie ;)

Closer ࣪.⋆ ♡

⋆ ࣪. ℙ𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘 ≫ Twilight/fem!reader

⋆ ࣪. 𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 ≫ smut!, p in v, hickies, sticky stomach ;)

⋆ ࣪. 𝔸/ℕ ≫ I kind of mixed both of your prompts so I didn't have to choose🤧

⋆ ࣪. 𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥 ≫ 1069

⋆ ࣪. part I / part II ࣪.⋆

The warmth of the creasing sun enveloped your arms, trailling further until it met your wrapped and still wobbly legs.

Turning around, your eyes were met with the beautiful sight of your boyfriend resting peacefully by your side. His warm arm held your waist, quite hard despite being asleep, while his breath fanned your neck.

This was supposed to be a peaceful and calm morning, the young hues of the sunlight entering through your window as the air fanned lightly too.

But your mind couldn't help but remember why your legs felt like jelly in the first place, face burning up as you recalled the so pleasant night you had had.

It wasn't fair, it never was.

The fact that he managed to sleep without any visible soreness on his legs or even his neck meanwhile you woke up stumbling around the room made you jealous.

"Link..."

His hair trickled your neck, almost kissing softly your skin.

"Link"

Calloused hands keeping you secured into his bare chest, almost digging deep into your tender stomach.

"Link!"

Heart to heart, your perky nipples rubbed up and down his toned chest, finally letting you move freely on top of him after a tedious and deep skin to skin contact.

Your sweet gasps for air and those cute moans fueled him into moving your hips with his own palms.

He wanted to keep a stedy pace at first, letting you rub yourself into his lap as he rested deep inside. His hand softly caressed your breasts, smiling like the wolf he truly was when he managed to turn your nipples harder under his fingertips.

But the way you chanted some "please"'s or "link"'s into his long ear made the tiny drop of self control he had left pour into his guts, getting lost in a madness of red.

He forced you up and down, up and down your mind started to feel dizzy, getting lost in the inminent wave of pleasure you had neglected yourself to feel before.

"So tight-"

This time it washed over you like a tsunami, faster and harder than before. You didn't know how he found out another new way to make your toes curl but you were too blissed out to care.

"There you go, let it all out sweetheart"

His honeyed words made you squeal even louder, head falling into his shoulder as he let you slow down your movements, still keeping him deep.

His hands rubbed your back, circles you'd never get used to, wanting them to feel them over your goosebumps inside your skin again and again.

Your legs shaked against his own ones, multiplying your horniness once again when you felt how really hard he was underneath you.

Panting and cheeks tinted with a deep crimson colour in front of you, you stared at the stinging sensation on your neck, a huge red bite adorning it.

Too lost in pleasure you didn't even notice.

But before you could make a comment about it, his lips enveloped yours like an animal. Drowning down your short yelp as he suddenly flipped both of you over, pushing you down into the mattress.

His leaking hard-on filled your warmth, noticing how needy he was after you came down from your high.

He started moving again, slowly, god what kind of human lasts that long?!

His hands caged your head, forearms resting right beside your warm body on the mattress. Your hands, on the other side, held tightly his back trying not to slip out of his grasp thanks to his powerful thrusts.

But that question lasted just a few seconds inside your head as he started ramming himself against you like he was in heat. His tongue soaked up your reddened skin, tasting the salty but thin layer of sweat.

He loved licking you, smelling you. God he always went crazy when he smelled your arousal meters away from your home, mouth quickly enveloping your needy cunt as soon as he came back home.

He couldn't deny his animal instincts after all, could he?

"Cmon baby-, cum for me"

He pushed you over and over again against the pillows, the creaking sound of the bed now mixing up with your beautiful moans.

He wanted to last longer, but you had discovered the key to his ( not so hidden ) lock. Your trembling form begging him to cum, watching as your head fell back into the bed, ecstasic.

He adored watching you fall appart, always managing to make him reach his climax prematurely.

"I'm cumming-"

His grunt almost wasn't heard by you but the action that came after them surely did.

His sweaty skin revealed into the pale moonlight, head slightly tilted downwards as he bit his lip, trying to surpress tiny gasps as he stroked himself viciously on top of you.

Your eyes lowered down until they met his toned abdomen, god you wanted to lick off all the mess you had made on top of him. However, your thoughts faded out as thick white ropes enveloped your stomach, a long sigh escaping his lips as he still held your thighs open for him.

He was always so pretty when he came, flushed face and eyes tightly closed. Always letting out the sultriest grunts, peeking out to see how he soaked you with his seed.

You couldn't see his eyes under his dark blonde bangs, but you surely knew he was staring at the piece of art he had painted on top of you.

Your head fell down into the mattress, finally breathing out as you walls spasmed around nothing, trying to calm themselves down.

You giggled as he fell on top of you, noticeably not caring about getting his body dirtier than it actually was when he felt your sticky skin.

His heavy body pressed against your naked form, on a normal day you would've pried him off you but right now you wanted to be as close as possible. He was just so cute, always getting sleepy and clingy right after he climaxed.

And you would always hold him, no matter how deeply you wanted to shower, how sticky and hot you felt.

You wanted to crawl deep inside his skin at this point.

You both rested peacefully, your eyes closed shut as your shaking arms and legs enveloped his middle part. Peace that was disturbed by his own groggy voice.

"I wanna marry you someday"

[haggishlyhagging]

Waiting is part of the stereotyped role for women—a large part. Waiting to grow, for breasts and hips to fill out, to wear lipstick, perfume, brassieres: waiting to star in the big role—man enticer. Waiting to be asked for a date. Waiting for the phone to ring. Waiting, waiting for the phone to ring. Waiting to be asked to dance. Waiting to be asked to go steady. Waiting to be asked to marry. Always waiting for someone else to act. Passively, miserably waiting.

And if the phone doesn't ring? If no one asks? If you wait, and wait, and wait, and Prince Charming doesn't come riding up? What can you do?

In the fifties, when I was a young woman, there was nothing you could do and still be considered decent. Being able to choose and act on that choice was a privilege reserved for men. That should have told me something. I think it did, but I didn't want—or didn't know how—to deal with it at the time. So I put it away in that deep unconscious filing cabinet reserved for matters which must have frightened me with their too-clear implications of female servitude and subordination. It took me forty-two years of gathering such data unbeknownst to myself before I finally accumulated more than my file could hold and it burst open, forcing me to look.

Waiting is one of the earmarks of subservience. As Milton truly says, "They also serve who only stand and wait." Waiting is a service. The words waitress, lady-in-waiting, waiter are all service titles. Waiting delineates rank. Sergeants don't keep colonels waiting, but generals do. Teachers don't keep principals waiting, but superintendents do. Those in power can make their subordinates wait, can expect them to wait. To keep someone waiting is manipulation, a method of maintaining control; it is a way of announcing and wielding power.

My unconscious servitude to Rick began early in our courtship. I remember sitting on a bench by the service station for several hours while he fixed his car. It was an unspoken assumption in my youth that girls loved to keep boys company during such times, liked to hold things for them, enjoyed watching them clean the points, or change the brake shoes. Having their girl hovering around must have been like having their own private cheerleader. Girls did it because we wanted to be with them more than they wanted to be with us. We were more emotionally dependent upon them, as we had been trained to be. We needed to be around them, and though they liked having us around, they had other interests in their lives. We had been trained to have only one major interest, despite all the other things we might do, and that was them. Not because it is any more natural for us females to be dependent and to base our entire lives upon some male's approval and presence, but because patriarchy socialized us thus. It is great for male egos. It is catastrophic for ours.

But I didn't get a real taste of the despotism of waiting until Rick discovered the computer at the University of Minnesota. The next ten years were one long struggle against the humiliation of being constantly rejected for the computer—Rick's "iron mistress," his "three sexty." Ten years of being completely forgotten for whole days and suddenly remembered apologetically, of my putting the uneaten supper away and going to bed at midnight or one or two A.M., not having heard from Rick since morning when he promised to be home by six.

That he should have thought it natural to keep a human being waiting for six, seven, twelve hours without word made it clear to me again and again how he thought of me, how not completely human I was to him, how much just a part of himself—not a separate or real person to be taken seriously, or about whose esteem he needed to worry. He would never have kept any male friend whose friendship he valued waiting so consistently for years. No peer would have put up with it.

At the time, I thought it was all my fault. If I were more interesting, more sexy, more something, he would want to come home to me. I blamed myself, when the fault lay in Rick's patriarchal world view.

Part of the unwritten definition of wife is: the one who waits.

I tried to tell Rick over those long years how often I felt rejected and figuratively slapped in the face. I couldn't help but believe he secretly enjoyed the idea of my waiting for him, the constant service of wondering and worrying about him in his absence. Surely there was something more behind his making me wait than mere forgetfulness. He was an extremely intelligent man, but I couldn't get him to understand how deeply he wounded me by showing disdain for the hours of my life I wasted in waiting for him and for the hurt and rage and erosion of love for him this brought about in my heart.

And through it all, I must never make him wait for me. I must never reverse the sadomasochistic game. Yet by calling it that, I admit my own collusion in it. Years ago I should have ceased to care unduly when he came or went, should have planned my life as I wanted without consulting his. Should simply not have allowed him to tyrannize and manipulate me. But I knew that the moment I refused to supply this apparently necessary ego support, I would lose him.

And I did. When I became interested in the ERA, he often had to wait for me—to get off the phone, to come home from meetings, to come to bed. I ceased to pay much attention to when he came and went. I no longer cared a great deal when he was hours late or rejoiced overmuch when he was early. My life no longer centered around him, as his had never centered around me. I began to live an independent life, such as only men are entitled to. That's when I overstepped my bounds and it was all over.

And I've thought since, with considerable wryness, how for nineteen years I waited for him, and how he couldn't wait for me for one.

-Sonia Johnson, From Housewife to Heretic

[doeeyedseer]

Some positive things said about elain.

“Elain had always been gentle and sweet—and I had considered it a different sort of strength. A better strength. To look at the hardness of the world and choose, over and over, to love, to be kind. She had been always so full of light."

"I gazed again at that sad, dark house—the place that had been a prison. Elain had said she missed it, and I wondered what she saw when she looked at the cottage. If she beheld not a prison but a shelter—a shelter from a world that had possessed so little good, but she tried to find it anyway, even if it had seemed foolish and useless to me. She had looked at that cottage with hope; I had looked at it with nothing but hatred. And I knew which one of us had been stronger."

"'Elain nodded, smiling up at me, and it was tentative joy—and life that shone in her eyes. A promise of the future, gleaming and sweet. "

"But Elain, the flower-grower, the gentle heart"

"She had come alive here and her joy was infectious. There wasn't a servant or gardener who didn't smile at her, and even the brusque head cook found excuses to bring her plates of cookies an tarts at various points in the day. I marveled at it, actually- that hose years of poverty hadn't stripped away that light from Elain, Perhaps buried it a bit but she was generous loving and kind- a woman I found myself proud to know, to call sister."

“Beautiful—she’d always been the most beautiful of us. Soft and lovely, like a summer dawn.”

“That smile grew, bright enough that it lit up even Azriel’s shadows across the room.”

“Elain quietly washed his face. Combed out his hair and beard. Straightened his clothes. She found flowers—somewhere. She laid them at his head, on his chest. We stared down at him in silence. “I love you,” Elain whispered, voice breaking.”

"The Cauldron seemed to realize what she’d done, too, as his head thumped onto the mossy ground. That Elain … Elain had defended this thief. Elain, who it had gifted with such powers, found her so lovely it had wanted to give her something … It would not harm Elain, even in its hunt to reclaim what had been taken.”

"Nesta was wrong, Cassian realized, to think Elain as loyal and loving as a dog. Elain saw everything Nesta had done and understood. "

"For a moment, I just stared at my sister, the wisdom she'd spoken. Not a whisper of those oracular abilities. Just clear eyes and an open expression. "

"I think she’s kind, and I’ll take kindness over nastiness any day. But I also think we haven’t yet seen all she has to offer.” A corner of his mouth tugged upward. “Don’t forget that gardening often results in something pretty, but it involves getting one’s hands dirty along the way.”

"She loves her garden. Always loved growing things. Even when we were destitute, she managed to tend a little garden in the warmer months. And when - when our fortune returned, she took to tending and planting the most beautiful gardens you’ve ever seen. Even in Prythian. It drove the servants mad, because they were supposed to do the work and ladies were only meant to clip a rose here and there, but Elain would put on a hat and gloves and kneel in the dirt, weeding. She acted like a purebred lady in every regard but that."

"and Elain was so gentle, so sweet …"

“My sister Elain can convince anyone to do anything with a few smiles.”

“Elain, who had been gentle and sweet. Elain, who was to marry a lord’s son who hated faeries …”

“Even wasted away by grief and despair, Elain’s beauty was remarkable. Hers was a face that could bring kings to their knees."

“Nesta met her sister's warm brown eyes. When human, elain had easily been the prettiest of the three of them, and when she'd been turned High Fae, that beauty had been amplified. Nesta couldn't put her finger on what changes had been wrought beyond the pointed ears, but Elain had gone from lovely to devastatingly beautiful. Elain never seemed to realize it.”

“Including Elain, who is more than capable of defending herself against the darkness of the Trove, if she chooses to. Don’t underestimate her.”

“Elain, mourn as she might for the life she would have had with Graysen, had found a place, a role here. Tending to the gardens of Feyre’s veritable palace on the river, helping other residents of Velaris restore their own destroyed gardens—she had purpose, and joy, and friends: those two half-wraiths who worked in Rhysand’s household. But those things had always come easily to her sister. Had always made Elain special."

"I saw the painting in my mind: the lovely fawn, blooming spring vibrant behind her. "

"Lost to whatever fog of memory had crept over him, he was smiling mildly at his beloved Elain, the only one of us who bothered to really speak to him at all."

"There was a slight sparkle in her brown eyes.As if she’d been enjoying herself with them. I put a hand in my chest, leaning against the wood panels of the stair wall. Rhys’s hand covered my own a heartbeat later. “that was what I felt,” he said, “when I saw you smile that night we dined along the Sidra,”

“Some were as lovely as you, Elain,” Rhys said from beside Feyre"

"I smiled at my sister, memorizing her lovely face, and wiped her tears away. "

"My sister was beaming, content- prettier then I'd ever seen her, even in her simple muslin gardening dress. Her cheeks were flushed beneath her large, floppy hat.

"Her face had somehow become more beautiful- infinitely beautiful, and her ears...Elain's ears were now pointed beneath her sodden hair."

"The cauldron purred in Elain's presence as the King of Hybern slumped to his knees, clawing at the knife jutting through his throat. "

"The faelights gilded Elain's unbound hair, making her glow like the sun at dawn. "

"Elain stood at the wall of windows, clad in a lilac gown whose close-fitting bodice showed how well her sister had filled out since those initial days in the Night Court. Gone were the sharp angles, replaced by softness and elegant curves."

"Her sister turned toward her, glowing with health. Elain’s smile was as bright as the setting sun beyond the windows."

"I'll do it," Elain said, taking a deep breath and squaring her shoulders. She didn't wait for either of us before she strode out , graceful as a doe."

"Her mouth tightened, the only sign of anger in her graceful countenance. "

"but something in me eased at that laughter, at the light thay returned to Elain's eyes. A light I wouldn't see dimmed further. "

Bonus:

" I knew they’d both die the moment that power hit them. Anything, I begged the Cauldron. Anything— The king’s hand began to drop. And then halted. A choking noise came out of him. For a moment, I thought the Cauldron had answered my pleas. But as a black blade broke through the king’s throat, spraying blood, I realized someone else had. Elain stepped out of a shadow behind him, and rammed Truth-Teller to the hilt through the back of the king’s neck as she snarled in his ear, “Don’t you touch my sister.”

“Elain was the only one who guessed. She caught me vomiting two mornings in a row. " She nodded toward Azriel. "I think she's got you beat for secret-keeping.".

“I mean, she’s been brave when she had to be, but she’s never been confrontational.”

“But I wonder if everyone has spent so long assuming Elain is sweet and innocent that she felt she had to be that way or else she’d disappoint you all.” He sighed toward the ceiling. “With time and safety, perhaps we’ll see a different side of her emerge.”

[onskepa]

Hi, could I get a fic where the Sully kids + Spider learn through Norm what a wedding is so they organize one for Jake and Neytiri? Thanks in advance.

Ask and you shall recieve! This is such a cuuuuuuuuuuute idea~!! Hope you and everyone likes it! Enjoy~!!

P.S: Cover was done by none other than @jakexneytiri check her page out! Thank you darling for giving me permission to use your art!

---------------------

A wedding? A wedding!!!

Tuk sighs dreamily as she twirls and admires a flower kiri picked for her. Admiring the pretty color as how the sunlight reflects it. It somehow reminds her of her parents' love story, how they met and how they mated. In na’vi standards, it was not ideal but to tuk, it was perfect. Forbidden love? How tragic and romantic! 

Of course she has seen a few small handful of na’vi courting, and heard stories of her friends' parents' romantic paths. Yet she cannot help but wonder, do humans court the way na’vi do? Or is it different? Only one way to find out!

“Tuk, for the last time, I may be human, but that doesnt mean I know every human custom” spider patiently explains to a happy little tuk. Her tail sways in hopes she can  gather as much information as possible. Even with spider’s lack of knowledge, she doesn't give up! 

“What about uncle norm? He is from Earth, maybe he knows” tuk suggests. 

Spider nods in wonder, slightly agreeing. But then he turns back to her, “why are you interested in human customs all of a sudden?” he asks. Tuk isn't one to search for anything human related, she is fine with what little she is exposed to.  

With a happy smile, all too pleased to be asked that question. 

“I know all about na’vi courting, but I wanna know about human courting! Mom and dad didn't do either, so I wanna know!” 

Shrugging, spider seems to see her point of view. 

“Alright, lets go ask uncle norm” 

“I'm busy” Norman says without looking at the kids. They give him an unimpressed look. 

“Reading star wars comics for the millionth time doesnt count uncle norm” lo’ak says deadpanned. Norman stayed silent for a few seconds before putting his comic away. 

“What did spider or tuk eat this time?” he asks with a tired sigh. Both spider and tuk gave him a rather offended/surprised expression. 

“WOW, you really take us for a couple of skxawngs?” spider asks, putting his hands on his hips. 

“Sharing jake’s single braincell, yes” 

“Whatever, we didn't eat anything mysterious, yet, but, tuk wanted to ask you something and now we all wanna know” spider defends while slightly pushing tuk forward. 

Having norm’s full attention, tuk finally asks “How do humans court each other?” 

norm ‘s shoulders deflated a bit, “of all people to ask, you had to choose the most single, and lonely human” 

“Wedding? And the females wear white while the males wear black?” tuk asks as she sees some wedding photos lended by scientists who were married. Norm nods, “thats right. Of course not all weddings are like that, it is traditional but many choose other colors for their weddings” he adds. 

Tuk looks at the various photos of brides, many in odd looking clothing. But all were so beautiful. Different long dresses, each unique to their own. Various flowers tuk has never seen before, and the grooms were also handsome. Wearing similar outfits but also in different styles. The more tuk learned about the concept of weddings, the more she began to form an idea. 

“So, man and woman plan a wedding, woman finds a pretty dress to wear, walks down the tiny path to meet her mate, they kiss and marry right?” she reviews, norm nods again. Sensing something is up. 

“Yes….” 

“What are you thinking about tuktuk?” Kiri asks. 

A mischievous little grin forms on tuk’s face. Her eyes sparkling with a devious glow. The expression reminds norm of the Grinch when he has a grand scheme.

Taking the day easy, jake and neytiri hold hands happily as they make their way to the village. They had a rare free day to themselves. No duties to attend to, no training, no meetings, no chasing their kids from death related troubles. None. They were free to do as they like. 

And what they wanted to do for now was stroll in the village, perhaps collect a bit of fruit. Maybe later hunt for a delicious dinner neytiri has in mind. So many possibilities. 

But….

“Woa, is it just me or are the people acting strange?” Jake asks, He and neytiri notice the odd behavior of the people. Many give them happy smiles, way too excited greetings, some even offer special gifts! 

“Is there something we missed?” Jake wonders. Neytiri tries to remember but nothing seems to remind her. 

As they walk further, there was a huddle of na’vi, all their eyes and ears facing the same direction. Jake and neytiri make their way through, and see someone giving them instructions….

“And look for white flowers! Anything will do, oh and those beads will do so nicely! Yes yes, and take the woven clothes over there! That path must be super pretty!” 

It was tuk. 

And she was giving directions to everyone like a tiny, cute boss. 

“Tuk?” Neytiri calls out in confusion. 

Her little one heard her, smiling, tuk makes her way to her parents with a happy squeal.

“Hey babygirl, what's going on?” Jake asks as he picks her up in his arms. Tuk just giggles and snuggles up to him. 

“Planning your wedding! Duh!” she responds as if that was the most obvious thing. 

“Wedding? What?” There were a lot of things going through his mind. 

Neytiri was just as confused. 

“What is a wedding?” she asks. But before tuk can happily answer, the rest of their children returns. With arms full of things. 

“Ok tuk, took us forever but we got what you needed” lo’ak said with a tired sigh. He, neteyam, kiri and spider were holding flowers, beads, baskets full of white colored cloths, and black paint. 

“Kids, what is going on?” Jake asks, more eager to know the answer. Because nothing is making any sense to him. 

“Tuk wants to make a special wedding for you guys” kiri replies as she shows tuk her findings, who nods in approval. 

“What is a wedding??” Neytiri asks a bit loudly. 

Tuk clears her voice, “a wedding is a special mating ceremony for humans. They decorate everything so pretty in white! The female wears a special gown called a wedding dress, and she walks down a flower covered path to meet her mate at the end. Where someone who holds spiritual power blesses them, the mates speak their vows and promises and kiss! Uncle norm showed me!” 

The little smiled so proudly of this knowledge being shared. 

Jake inwardly groans. Damn norm. 

“Tuk, sweetie, is that why are you doing this?” he asks another question. Tuk just rapidly nods. 

“A wedding….” Neytiri repeats, still trying to wrap her head around the idea. 

The sully family returned to their home in need of a family meeting. 

“Why…?” she asks. 

Tuk plays with her fingers, feeling more nervous by the second. 

“Well…..you and daddy tell your love story all the time. How you guys met and stuff. But you never really did any courting like everyone else. Grandma says that courting is very important, to see if the relationship is possible. I thought a wedding would be nice for you two….cause you never courted…” she explained her reason. 

Neteyam was sitting behind her, rubbing her back to sooth her. 

There were many things to go over of what she said. Jake brings tuk over to his lap, releasing a deep sigh. 

“Am I in trouble” Tuk asks worriedly. Both of her parents shake their heads. 

“No baby girl, but you can't do things like this without telling us. Or even asking, how are you sure we wanted this?” Jake pointed out as gently as he could. 

Neytiri turns her head towards her oldest four, “and all of you for not stopping her”. 

“We also thought it was a good idea…” neteyam answers while scratching the back of his head. 

“When uncle norm taught us how humans courted, tuk wasn't the only one to like the idea. And it is true what she says mom. You two never really had the chance to do it right. Why not now?” Kiri tries with calmness in her voice. Knowing her mother is very short tempered when it comes to anything human related. 

Neytiri and jake look at each other, a special communication between them. 

“You did take me straight to the tree after my trials were finished….” jake reasoned. Neytiri rolls her eyes but fondly remembers that night. Yes, she did, she was not going to let him slip away now could she? 

And there really was no room for courting since the war started literally the next day.

Going over her options, Neytiri turns to tuk and jake. 

“How does human courting work…?” 

Whatever pace the people were working at, doubled. By either prayers, or some miracle of Eywa, neytiri accepted to wed in the human custom. Tuk wasted no time and needed back up from the help of uncle norm. Who became her second in command in all of the organization. 

Her siblings become her little servants, repeating her orders to the people. 

And someone had a big role to play. 

“Come ma’ite, we must get you fitted” mo’at say with a bright smile on her face. Gently she tugs neytiri to her hut, kiri and other fellow na’vi woman takes her away. 

“Fitted for what?” neytiri asks, feeling a bit excited for whatever is to come. 

“For your wedding dress mom” kiri replies. Closing the flaps of the hut, the ladies began to work their magic. 

While on the other side, jake was being taken to a different hut, being led by his three sons. 

“Seriously?” jake says while raising an eyebrow. 

“Tuk’s orders” lo’ak grins a bit smugly. 

A few handful of Jake's friends entered the hut with him, with preparations of getting him ready. 

“Oh, and dont forget to write your vows!” spider reminds as he snaps fingers in remembering what tuk told him. 

“My vows?” 

“This is going to take awhile” 

“Oh yeah, its all coming together” tuk says, pride grows in her little heart as the wedding decorations and the set up is nearly completed. 

Norm was beside her, whistling impressed. “Gotta hand it to you tuk, you do know how to design” he compliments. This makes little tuk humph with glee. 

They were at the spirit tree, white veils, flowers, the Atokrinia’s floating around elegantly. Her image displayed ever so perfectly. 

“Ok, it's all set tuk!” lo’ak says as he with kiri, spider and neteyam arrive. 

“Good! So we are good to go!” 

“Almost” kiri teases. 

“We just need one more thing” neteyam smiles, but tuk was panicking a little. 

“Did we forget something? It's the bells, isn't it? Dang it I should have-” she was interrupted mid sentence when she felt something land on her head. 

Looking at what it was, it was a flower crown. 

“A wedding isn't complete without a flower girl” spider says. Gasping in happiness and surprised, tuk shouts in great joy. 

“Come on, we still got time!” the three siblings drag tuk away to have her be the prettiest flower girl pandora has ever seen!

The flutes began to play, releasing harmonic sounds as the notes echoed to the people’s ears. Ninat taking the lead of the melodious choir, her voice and the others balance with the instruments. In tune to perfection. 

The Atokirina floating all around, giving the path a heavenly glow. 

The people sat anxiously, all in rows as they respectfully cleared one long path. 

A path the tuk carefully walks through as she delicately lays flower petals. A flower crown on her head, wearing the cutest light pink loin cloth and pearl like bead top. Tuk truly looked like a flower girl. Behind her was the bride. Her beautiful mother, The one where all eyes go to see. 

Neytiri walks gracefully on the path her daughter leads. Wearing an all white outfit, her loincloth, her top, her head piece, and the veil she wears. All white. Her hair braided loosely behind, flowers decorated on her hair as well. Neytiri never felt more beautiful than she did at this moment. With a bouquet of flowers she holds tightly, her eyes search for her mate. The love of her life, Jake. 

At the alter, at the root base of the spirit tree was Jake. In all of his might glower, wearing a black loin cloth as his warrior armor at the waist, his hair braided in the similar fashion he wore during the war. Feather and bead amended to the braids, and small black paint to enhance his handsomeness. Jake looked so good it made neytiri want to run towards his arms. 

As they reached the altar, tuk took her place beside kiri who was wearing a style similar to tuk. Neteyam, spider and lo’ak beside their father as they admire their mother. 

Jake offers his hand to which neytiri happily accepts. Removing the veil to reveal her beautiful face, jake could help but mutter “beautiful” in awe. Together they both turn to face mo’at who smiles with heavenly joy. 

“Welcome everyone. Today, we gather in great celebration to bring these two wonderful people into union. Through trials and tribulations, these two souls have been challenged time and time again. But their love has pulled them through. Proving to us all that love truly conquers all. That being with your true one, anything can be accomplished” 

mo’at gestures to Neytiri and Jake that it was time to say their vows. 

But as they speak, tuk listened as best as she could. Hearing her parents story over and over never waivered with time. If anything it only sounded better each time. And hearing their vows right before her big eyes, it was adding a whole new perspective. 

Yes, tuk is a sucker for romantic things. Even if her siblings tease her, tuk won't stop. And seeing this made her love romance even more. 

“And by the great blessing of our great mother Eywa, I can now happily announce, Jake and neytiri as husband and wife! You may now-” 

Neytiri didnt let her mother finish as she dragged Jake down to kiss him like her life depended on it. Jake happily reciprocates. 

The na’vi cheered in celebration. Applause, screeches, everything was heard. 

Tuk sighs dreamily as she sees her parents kiss. 

“I can't wait to get married” 

Kiri: “never” 

Spider: "nope"

Lo’ak: “not gonna happen” 

Neteyam: “over my dead body”

Okie so this kinda became a tuk main story but I like it how it turned out. What do you guys think? Until next time! See ya!

[bones4thecats]

Hey how are you doing so could I request a frieza x female alien s/o ft Kuriza, the reader is the wife of frieza and the mother of Kuriza, maybe spending time as a family ?

❥· Remembrance, Frieza × S/O (ft. Kuriza, King Cold, and Cooler)

Characters: Frieza (🏔️) and Kuriza (🌰) (ft. King Cold - 🌨️, and Cooler - 🧊) A/N: This was such a cute story. These characters are slightly OOC in the ending, but, who cares? It's called Fan-FICTION for a reason. Anyways, enjoy, Anon! ✎ Summary: You tell your firstborn son, Kuriza, the story of how you and his father and your husband, Frieza, met, fell in love, got married, leading up to that day in the med-bay.

┍━━━━━━━━━━━━━☽【❖】☾━━━━━━━━━━━━━┑

🏔️ You met Frieza when he came to meet the leaders of the planet you resided on, Planet Calspis. Calspis was home to aliens similar to Frieza's race, bodies covered in an armor that acted like other species' clothing, long tails that could be used for any task, and high-power levels by nature.

🏔️ But, there was two things your species were different on: the first being your heads. Instead of holding a single pair of horns when in your normal form, your people had two sets. The horns were small, much like Frieza's when in his first form, but grew in length when evolving. Your faces were different as well, they were hidden by masks made from your kind's personal energy. The stronger you were, the stronger the face-guard you had.

🏔️ Survival alone made your people stronger. And, because of this, pride filled them all, almost matching the Saiyans'.

🌨️🧊🏔️ When Planet Calspis was visited by Frieza along with his father and older brother, you and the prince were young, around six in human terms. And, when King Cold tried to put you two together for some time alone while he spoke to your parents, the Overlord and his Lady of Calspis, you just stared at one another. No words were spoken, but a seed of care was planted.

🏔️ It took a while, some hypothesis it took a mere few visits, while others say it took years, but Frieza and you began to grow your bond like a sunflower in an empty field. And, while the others tried to put it behind their other views on you, your parents began to see how you changed spending time with him.

🏔️ You began to grow cold, viewing all around you as below you. It didn't help that Frieza encouraged it. "They're beneath you. In power and rank, how can you stand them speaking about you and your family is such vile ways?" He'd say. This all piled up, and resulted in a big issue.

🌨️🧊🏔️ After a talk with your parents, they brought out your happy-self again. But, a butt-hurt member of Council, who believed you were becoming a monster and wanted to kill the people who raised you -- which you didn't --, set his own plan into motion.

🌨️🧊🏔️ He tried killing you. A mistake when around both your family and Frieza's. The newly-declared leader of the Cold Force, now Frieza Force, raised his hand and choked out the Council Member. Calspis, now in chaos over people choosing their leaders over the rogue Councilman, was annihilated by your dear Lord.

🏔️ Frieza, upon your request, allowed your parents and younger twin brothers on the ship. And, during the ride to his home planet, he asked permission from your father, Overlord Moss, if he could have your hand. Your father, after seeing how much Frieza seemed to value you -- as he never took requests from anyone --, smiled, shook the younger-than-him alien, and said, "You may. Best of luck to you both."

-

🌰 "That's how you and Father got married?" Kuriza asked, his chestnut-shaped head moving to look at you. You smiled and nodded, looking back down at the bundle in your arms. Kuriza's eyes held stars as he looked down at his little brother, whom you had your brother-in-law and father-in-law assist in naming, and smiled.

🏔️🌰 All of a sudden, the door opened for your room. Kuriza looked up and his tail wagged happily, much like a dog's would back on Earth. "Father!" He cried, running up to Frieza with a happy smile.

🏔️🌰 Frieza rolled his eyes playfully and lifted up his firstborn son. He walked up to you and kissed your head, making you hum and lean into his chest. Before he could ask you anything, a couple of heads popped in the door. There, walking inside, was your father-in-law, King Cold, and brother-in-law, Cooler.

🌨️🧊🏔️ They smiled at the baby as Frieza stood beside you, annoyance struggling to stay inside the Emperor as he watched his brother poke his second son's face. King Cold just let out a couple 'pride-tears', as he called them, and admired his second grandson.

🌨️🧊🏔️ "How is my little Zeroh? Goodness, he looks exactly like a mixture of you both!" King Cold said. Frieza scoffed lightly and wrapped his arm around your shoulder, sat beside you on your bed, and allowed his tail to hang in front of his baby's face, like a makeshift toy.

🧊🏔️ "Of course he'd look like us. He is our child after all." Cooler chuckled and looked at his brother, "Now, now, little brother. Father was only stating a fact."

🌨️🧊🏔️ Frieza rolled his eyes once again, probably for the millionth time today, since he was around his father and brother the entire time since your time in labor. You smiled gently at your youngest and kissed his head, hearing his coo lightly as you pulled away.

🌨️🧊🏔️🌰 "King Cold! Cooler! We need your attention on the dock!" A servant said, behind the door as to prevent a rage from Frieza. King Cold and Cooler nodded, said their goodbyes, and walked out, leaving Frieza, his wife, and two sons alone.

🏔️🌰 Looking down at his younger boy, Frieza smiled, his tail moving as Zeroh tried to grab it with his padded-finger tips. Kuriza curled up next to you, on your left, as Frieza wrapped his arms around your both.

"Our little family is finally together once again."

┕━━━━━━━━━━━━━☽【❖】☾━━━━━━━━━━━━━┙

[pamsimmer]

When I made "Lunar" someone asked for a legacy challenge for human sims. So I finally wrote one!

Since some people don't like big legacies because it takes forever to finish, I made another small legacy! Only 5 gens.

If you know my stories from twitter or my "pamsimmerstories" you know I usually use a lot of adult themes and this is not different, so be aware this can be a little dark.

TW: Spouse death, while giving birth; Drug Use, alcohol and other drugs; Child Abuse, Neglect; Infetility

LEGACY CHALLENGE: "Dream Odyssey"

Basic Rules:

Start as a Young Adult - any gender you want

Normal/Long lifespan (which one you prefer)

You can use freerealestate cheat if you want to begin.

When I put ( / ) is because you can choose what you prefer or if you don’t have said pack you can choose the base game one.

Colors are not mandatory, but it could be fun?!

Requirements: Cottage Living, University, City Living, Nifty Knitting, Horse Ranch, Get Famous, Get Together, Snowy Scape, Island Living, Seasons, Parenthood.

Mods recommendations (Not required):

McCommand Center,

UI Cheats,

Long Distance Learning,

RPO.

Basemantal Drugs

Generation 1: “Dandelions” by Ruth B.

You moved from your parents to live in a big city and go to your dream college (San Myshuno Institute)*. You’ve always wanted to be a doctor/veterinarian and this was finally happening!

One day you met the love of your life in between classes (preferably someone you met that is also at uni) you get married, but one day you caught them cheating and you feel like this is the end of the world.

So you leave everything and go to Henford on Bagley and become a farmer. You meet someone that makes you open up again and you two have a beautiful family.

*if you don’t want to use mods like the ”Long Distance Learning” by Ravasheen, you can just pretend you’re going there living in San Myshuno

Traits: Good, Animal Enthusiast/Loves the Outdoors, The last one you pick, to make things interesting, pick a bad trait like high maintenance

Career: Start as University Student in San Myshuno (you can finish it and start the career or you can just drop university in the middle of your term); End up as a farmer in Henford

Skills: Logic/Vetenerian and Cross-Stitch

Hobby: Cross-Stitch or Knitting

Aspiration: Country Caretaker

Relationship: fall in love at university, get cheated on, runaway to Henford and meet someone new. You can have children with the first one if you want to or you can wait until you meet the second sim. It’s up to you.

Color: Green/Yellow

Generation 2: “High” by Miley Cyrus

You grew up in the middle of a bunch of animals, your parent was a nature freak and you became one as well. But your kind of animal is a bit different from your parent. You love horses and you dream in live at Chestnut Ridge and have your own horse and participate in competitions and earn money from it.

You find love, but when your wife is giving birth to your baby, she dies (your sim could be a woman and you use cheats to make her pregnant and if you don’t use mods as RPO/Pandasama you can also cheat to kill the sim).

[The Sims 4 killing cheats: [death.toggle true - kill your Sim] I've never used it, so I don't know if it really works]

So you see yourself as a single parent juggling between parenting and taking care of your horse and participating of competitions.

Traits: Horse Lover, Rancher, the last trait you choose.

Career: Autonomous as Horse Competitor, you can try odd jobs as well

Skills: Riding, Painting/Nectar Making

Hobby: Painting/Nectar Making

Aspiration: Championship Rider

Relationship: Meet someone, become a widow/er. You can find love again if you wish.

Color: Orange

Generation 3: “No Love In LA” by Palaye Royale

When you were born your mother died and you never met her. Your other parent was always busy with his horses and competitions that you now hate Chestnut.

You want more for your life. As soon as you age up, you go to Del Sol Valley and you’re finally able to follow your dream of becoming a star! You want to be a famous actor/actress. But not everything is like you thought it would be, you thought you would become a 5 star celebrity quickier than you did. But you never give up.

Find a celebrity and get married to them just for fame (I guess you’re gonna need cheats for them to meet).

[Modify Relationship

You'll need the full name of your Sim and the celebrity Sim (or vice versa). If it doesn't work, try " LTR_Friendship_Main" at the end.] (I also never tested this one...but in case you don't have mods, try this)

One day you’re gonna meet someone who’s a nobody and fall in love, you’re gonna cheat on your partner and get pregnant/get someone pregnant.

You have two choices:

leave your spouse and be with your love or

stay in a unhappy marriage and pretend the cheating never happened (if your sim is a male, never talk to the pregnant sim again and one day a child shows up at your door, this is gonna be the heir. And if your sims is a female, pretend the kid is your husband’s child. It doesn’t matter, you’re gonna fail as a parent no matter what).

Traits: Self-Assured, Ambitious, and a bad trait of your choosing

Career: Actor

Skills: Acting, Dancing, Photography

Hobby: Photography and also dancing, go to nightclubs often, drink a lot (if you don’t play with mods pretend your sims is an alcoholic, if you play with mods like basemental your sim is definitely an alcoholic and maybe had a drug addiction, let’s go dark here)

Aspiration: Master Actor

Relationship: Marry for fame and cheat on your partner and get pregnant of impregnate someone this is how your heir is gonna be made.

Color: Red

Generation 4: “Flares” by The Script

Your parent should never be a parent.

You grew up in a spolight because of your parent, but you hate it. Everything is so fucked up and you just want to run away as far as possible.

When you become a teen, you're going to run away from home and go to Mt Komorebi, drop from school and work in a part time job.

To scape your own mind you start a few hobbies such as snowboarding/skiing/climbing.

When you’re young adult you meet someone while doing one of those things and you two fall in love. You two start a family and are very happy.

Traits: Adventurous, Loner, and a trait of your preference

Career: Teen: Part Time Job; Young Adult: Salaryperson

Skills: Two of these: (You can choose: Snowboarding/Skiing/Climbing)

Hobby: Choose two from 3 (Snowboarding/Skiing/Climbing)

Aspiration: Extreme Sports Enthusiast

Relationship: Find love when your sim is a young adult and this sim is gonna be actually happy :)

Color: Grey

Generation 5: “Light” by Sleeping At Last

Your parents were loving and you loved Mt Komorebi, but you feel like you need to run away from the cold mountains of Mt Komorebi.

When you grow up you want to live in a summery place, so you choose Sulani.

You fall in love more than once, but your relationships never work. You’re also infertile, but you want a kid so baaaad, so you decide to adopt one after years of trying.

You're going to raise a kid alone, maybe get yourself a dog as well? You want to be the best parent someone could be.

Traits: Family Oriented, Child of the Ocean, and a third trait of your choosing

Career: Any of the freelancer careers

Skills: Parenting, Flower Arrenging/Singing

Hobby: Flower Arrenging/Singing

Aspiration: Superparent

Relationship: All your relationships will fail, no matter how hard you try. One day you finally realize it and just accept that you’re going to be alone and you can be happy like this. Then you adopt a child (could be a baby if you want to) and maybe a pet as well.

Color: Blue

[animeyanderelover]

Hello😄Could I request Hashirama,Tobirama,Madara,Itachi,Tsunade,Sasuke,Obito,and shisui with a darling that is a ghoul?

Holidays start in about a month for me so I'll try to schedule a day where I open my inbox again.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, restriction, isolation, abduction, violence

Darling is a ghoul

Madara Uchiha

🌑You've been using the corpses that the war produces as your source of food, always steal the bodies of the dead to stock somewhere. One day to your great misfortune, you get caught by the Uchiha attempting to steal one of their dead comrades and they instantly attack you as they see that you don't belong to their clan. They're merciless so you're left with little to no choice but to fight back and for a short few seconds, you manage to catch them by surprise. Your own red orbs mirroring their own eerily much and you use that distraction to try to escape. One glance into their Sharingan as they chase after you traps you into their Genjutsu though and when you regain your consciousness, you're heavily chained and kneeling on the ground. In front of you is no one else besides Madara himself who has been informed about you and your strange abilities as one of the first. Judging from his cold tone, you know that fooling around might get you executed or tortured so you don't see any other option besides revealing what you are.

🌑 Your revelation is a sensation and you're kept imprisoned inside their campus as the eldest and Madara discuss what to do with you. Some are a bit wary as you feed from humans, others see in you a great new weapon. Madara decides to see for himself what you're capable of so you're forced very soon into a fight with him where he attacks you relentlessly. You don't know any jutsu yet somehow manage to keep somewhat up as your regenerative abilities, heightened senses, faster reflexes and your kakuja aren't something he can copy. You're ultimately losing to him as your techniques are sloppy but Madara recognizes the raw potential you have. All he has to do is polish your skills and train you. So he votes to keep you and teach you and the eldest agree, the majority delighted with the thought of having someone like you as their own. The clan guarantees to feed you with the corpses of their opponents. Training with Madara is harsh as he is even more ruthless since you heal so fast.

🌑 Madara is at one point the person you spend the most time with as he teaches you ninjutsu, taijutsu, even some genjutsu and weaponry. His training is brutal but it shows major improvement with time as you're able to fight him on almost equal footing at one point. It gains you some rare compliments from him but that is how you know that he's genuine. Fighting you is a genuine joy because only few people can give him a good fight and he's proud that his training has brought you that far. However, Madara ensures that you never grow stronger than him as he needs to establish his dominance between you two. He won't let you be above him. Initially he assumes it's because he just hates to lose but as time passes on, he realizes why. He's gained feelings from you. It's that knowledge that spikes his possessive obsession up as he suddenly forbids you to interact greatly with others and you notice the heavy weight of his glare even before you see him if he catches you still being nice to someone else.

🌑The death of Izuna awakens a feeling of urgency inside of him as the loss of his last family member shatters him.  His declaration to the eldest of the clan that he chooses you as his spouse is so sudden that it flabbergasts all of them equally and their opinions are mixed. Some disagree with him as they want him to marry someone from their clan yet others don't think it's that bad after thinking about it. You're certainly strong with your unique abilities and if you can conceive children, they'd be very curious to see what abilities your and Madara's children would have. If Madara wants something, he makes sure to get it so he forces the council to accept his opinion and you find out within the next day from him what has happened. You're even more astonished by his boldness to make such a decision without your consent. Yet your protest dies down on your tongue as he grabs your chin harshly and looks at you, muttering under his breath that he won't lose anyone else. If Hashirama wants to make peace with his clan, then only if he can keep you.

Hashirama Senju

🌳 He most likely sees you two as secret childhood sweethearts but unfortunately he just glorifies your memories in his mind into something much more innocent. The meeting of you two is one of pure accident as you essentially save his life, at a time before he even knows Madara. Mourning over the loss of one of his younger brothers and taking a stroll during a ferocious storm, numb to the warning words of Tobirama. He takes notice of the roaring river and the slippery and muddy shore too late as he slides into the clashing waves, loses his sense of up and down and swallows a gallon of the cold water. He's panicking as he desperately tries to puddle to the shore but fails to do so, his short life flashing in front of his eyes. Until someone suddenly grabs him and pulls him back on solid ground. Hashirama feels dizzy, coughs up water yet doesn't forget his manners as he wants to sincerely thank his savior. Yet they disappear as fast as they appeared, a blurry face and striking eyes the only memory he has of them.

🌳 It could be an Uchiha that saved him and he assumes so at first too and it isn't until he catches sight of you again that he's informed. You were apparently silently following him before he sees you, although initially he is unsure if you're the one that saved him. He has caused a lot of troubles because he kept confusing others with the person who saved him. You're honest though and tell him that you are the one who rescued him and are very flustered when he kneels down in front of you, forehead smushed against the dirt and thanking you for saving him. When he asks you if you're an Uchiha, you shake your head with a half-amused smile, stating that you don't belong to any special clan. He keeps on asking you questions but you keep dodging them, unwilling to answer. Eventually you tell him that you have to leave even if he begs you not to. The last thing you hear from him is him shouting after you and asking you to meet him here again. He wants to be friends with you.

🌳 You decide to take his offer, even though you know you shouldn't but you can't help yourself. Hashirama is infectious with his energy and cures your loneliness. He's bubbly and optimistic, something you need in your life. You never tell him about your true origins and never answer his questions about what he saw on the day you met him. You do tell him at one point that you're an orphan though and lost your parents to the war to which he offers you to take you to his clan. You decline obviously. The telltale signs of his major crush on you are what ultimately drive you away from him as you know that you could never be together with someone like him. So you never return again, breaking his heart as you need to separate yourself from him. It's alright. You've heard that he has found a new friend. You shatter Hashi's heart beyond belief as you've become his one big love and he's never able to comprehend throughout all the following years why you would just abandon him.

🌳 It's only so many years later in his adulthood that he gets all the answers to his questions when fellow men of his clan present him with the man-eating monster. A rumor that has been circulating around for a long time but now they've finally caught and imprisoned the person that stole and dishonored their fallen warriors. He doesn't know what to feel but his whole world stops and his heart drops when he sees the same eyes that saved him all those years ago. Your previously growling and sneering expression drops as you stare at him in shock before you avert your gaze, tears of shame building up behind your eyelashes. You never wanted him to know. You're used to being hated and feared so his shouts to free you from your chains as he storms over to you confuse not only you. Tears are in his own eyes, ones of happiness, as he embraces you in a tight hug. Finally he can make sense of everything. You were ashamed of yourself, weren't you? He knows that you'd never hurt someone purposely after all! Don't worry, he'll sort everything out for you!

Tobirama Senju

🌊 With Konoha finally being established, the many years of waging war against the Uchiha has finally ceased. Tobirama isn't too fond of the idea of living together in peace with the Uchiha, he doesn't trust them but he has no choice but to have faith in his brother. Konohagakure earns money from the missions that the people send to the village. Tobirama oversees all of that together with his brother and takes on the more dangerous jobs together with a team he hand-picked himself, all people he trusts and knows are skilled enough. It's this one mission that manages to spike his interest as he receives a request from a smaller village in the Land of Fire. A lot of thieves and criminals reside in the village yet that isn't the reason why they request his help. It's because people have started disappearing in the village and a few witnesses are only able to tell about a human-like monster with red and black orbs, mouth covered in blood as it's strongly assumed that this thing eats humans.

🌊 The legend of the man-eating ghoul is one that he has heard only in legends as some of his own clan members insist that they've spotted the thing during times of war, dragging away corpses to feast on them. At that time he only assmued it to be a silly rumor yet as the story pops up again and the legend starts surging up again as fellow Senju members hear about it, he decides to investigate. He travels to the village, takes one Senju with him who claims to have seen the ghoul before and waits. To your misfortune Tobirama is a legendary sensory type and even if you try to be careful, you're helpless as the man approaches you and you quickly stop fighting, realizing that you wouldn't stand a chance against Tobirama, his chakra too powerful. His own red orbs meet your own black and red ones, his eyebrows furrowing as he senses the unique energy radiating off of you. You may look like a human but you aren't fooling his sensory skills. Ultimately he decides to imprison you for the time being.

🌊 You're surprisingly well behaved, he somehow expected more troubles from the rumored ghoul yet you seem to choose the wisest option of giving up for now. You won't pick a fight where even you might get into troubles. Tobirama ensures that the citizens are left in the dark, only a selected few Senju and Uchiha know about you. It's better to keep your presence hidden for now from the public. Hashirama approaches you with a mix of curiosity, fascination yet also slight caution whilst Tobirama is prepared to attack you any moment, far more stiff than his brother. You're interrogated by Tobirama and answer all of his questions with honesty that baffles him. You need to consume human flesh just like humans need to eat too or otherwise you'll starve to death. When he tries to frame you for murder, you instantly fire back that you've only eaten already dead or evil people and that he shouldn't throw such crimes at you as his entire clan has committed murder too, far more than you have.

🌊 Somehow they have to feed you as Senju and Uchiha murmur that you might be very useful to the village so they start searching for ways to feed you without having to sacrifice humans, except the criminals that is. Tobirama remains the most cautious although your physical abilities fascinate him and he volunteers to teach you when he hears that his clan wants you to learn ninjutsu. He's low-key impressed by you but rarely admits that. You're snarky yet also very quick to adapt to situations and more civilized than some people he knows. The fact that you eat people is the only thing that keeps him from being more welcoming and is the main reason why he bristles up against his growing feelings. It's petty, he's murdered too but he would never allow himself to feel that way. Hours of research are put into creating artificial food for you whilst he increases the supervision around you. He absolutely can't have you lose control and attack someone. not if it means that you might be killed or ripped away from him. He won't admit his feelings for now but he won't let you get away from him either.

Tsunade Senju

🐌 Tsunade first stumbles upon you during her travels with Shizune, before she becomes the Fifth Hokage. She finds you heavily wounded and severely starved. She takes you in to care for you although her fear of blood paralyzes her so Shizune has to take care of you. You seem terrified when the two approach you, yell at them to stay away from you but it's already too late. You smell human flesh and lose control, attack both of them as your eyes turn black and red and salvia starts dripping down your chin. You're luckily overpowered as the hunger has weakened you and restricted your clear thinking, Shizune's poison numbs you and Tsunade's strength makes you lose your consciousness and you feel the relief flodding your veins that they stopped you from killing another person. What surprises you is when you regain your consciousness and find out that both of them have still taken you in and helped you with your injuries. Tsunade isn't all soft-hearted though, asking you with a hardened gaze what you are.

🐌 They're medics, they save lives so both are shaken when you confess that you're a ghoul and have to feed from humans to survive. You're too ashamed to do so, unable to kill someone so you always end up starving yourself to insanity until you can't take it anymore. You've killed too much people, nearly killed the two women too yet they still took you in and took care of you. It's all too shameful as disgust fills you and tears start shimmering in your eyes. You remind both of them that you have to leave as soon as possible or else you might hurt them again. Behind closed doors Tsunade and Shizune both have a discussion later on as both are unsure what to do. Tsunade seems a bit more merciless at first but Shizune quickly persuades her that they should help you. You can't do anything since you were born that way and helping you would also mean saving other people's lives and also your own. When both of them offer to help you, you have limited hopes.

🐌 They start working on supplying you with artificial food or at least have you survive on only little blood which both could supply to you with ease. You avoid both as good as you can to not fall into temptation and attack both of them again although you have no doubt that in your current condition, both could overpower you easily. When both of them still succeed and provide you with artificially changed blood that makes you feel full with only little amount, you feel truly happy for the first time in a long while. Just like that you become the third party to tag along, forever grateful to Lady Tsunade and Shizune as you swear to protect both of them. As you travel with both of them around the country, you start getting especially close to Tsunade. You know that under that tough shell is a hurt yet also kind woman as you soon find out about her past and in return share your own painful memories with her. Both of you bond over the past that wasn't kind to both of you.

🐌 Her feelings startle Tsunade initially when she first realizes that you've become more than a close friend to her. Not because of what you are, she'll defend you against anyone who dares to call you a monster. She's mainly scared because she's still suffering from the death of her brother and previous lover, doesn't want to lose anyone again. So the lady finds herself growing very overbearing, paranoid and worried about you excessively all of a sudden. What if people want to kill you for being a ghoul despite there being humans who are far more of a monster than you are? One of the main reasons why she rejects Jiraiya's offer at first is because she doesn't want to trust Konohagakure with you. She has heard stories about how Naruto was treated, she won't let you suffer from such hatred ever again. Ultimately it's only because of Naruto's promise to ensure your safety and your own encouragement to become the next Hokage that she agrees. If anyone even thinks about imprisoning you or performing a surgery on you to find out more about your body, she won't hesitate to seriously hurt them though.

Obito Uchiha

🔥 Rumors about man-eating monsters such as ghouls have always circled around the country, even during his childhood. In the past he had an odd fascination with such stories, as a traumatized adult Obito has other things to consider than some silly bedstories to warn children to not go alone outside at night. Or are those just some ghost stories? Perhaps he has to rethink his take on ghouls when he's faced with one of them in person. One of the spies working for the Akatsuki has been suspected to betray them so he was planning to kill them. Only to see them already being dead with you devouring their flesh. When you notice him, both of you just stare at each other for a while. You quickly clean your face painted in blood and give him an eerie smile, asking him what he plans to do now as you activate your kagune, ready to attack if he tries anything. Instead Obito is very calm as he has seen worse people than a ghoul. That being said, having one under him might be very useful later on.

🔥 You don't seem to be against the idea when he proposes it to you, merely ask what you would get by joining his organization, besides free food that is as he fully allows you to devour anyone who would be on their target list. Ultimately you ask him for time to consider his offer as your current life style is very satisfying already. He reluctantly allows you to consider his offer when you volunteer to stick around the region to reassure him that you won't try to escape. Honestly speaking, you enjoy spending time around people since it's rare to meet one who isn't scared if you. To top it, you appreciate beauty when you see it and Obito's scars give him a unique and rough beauty so you often just stare at him when he tries to convince you to join his crew. You try to tease him and have him breaking out of his serious and pessimistic character and when you do manage to fluster him, you break out in an amused grin, one that makes Obito's heart somehow flutter inside his chest.

🔥 You're very unique but also very different than he first thought you to be. Sure, you're a tad bit cocky about your abilities but also very chipper, witty and teasing around him as both of you warm up around each other more and more. When he tells you one time that you are very different from your first encounter with him, you reply with a bitter-sweet smile on your face that it isn't often that you meet a human who doesn't want to chase you out or scream in terror when seeing your true self and that you want to enjoy this as much as possible. You just do what you have to do to survive after all. Those words stick with him, haunt him as he starts worrying what has happened in your past and he attempts soon to question you persistently about it and whenever you refuse, his anxiety triples. What has happened to you? As his feelings start to grow, you soon realize that you might have made a mistake by hanging around him as he grows co-dependent.

🔥 So when you try to escape him, you make the biggest mistake of your life as he uses his Sharingan to trap you inside a genjutsu and abducts you. When you come back to your senses, he's already hovering over you, the proximity between you two frightening you a bit. His emotions are spilling over as he asks you in a raised yet shaky voice why you tried to leave him and betray his trust. You can't give him an answer, his outburst of anger, sadness and confusion overwhelming you. You don't need to answer though as your silence is enough for Obito to come up with his own answer to his own question. You're just worried about his safety, worried because you never received love from another human. He's right, isn't he? Darling, you don't have to be afraid or worried. He'll provide you with as many bodies as you need so you never have to starve and he will provide you with his love. Both of you were lonely throughout your life but now you have each other. You don't need anyone besides him anymore.

Shisui Uchiha

🍂 You despise humans. You've always despised humans for they killed your parents brutally and had no qualms to even harm you who was just a little child back then. You hate how pretentious they are, framing you as a cruel monster and a menace to their safety whilst they are the ones committing genocides, starting useless wars and murder more people than your entire family has ever done. They're the true monsters but of course they would never see it that way, instead thinking they are the only ones deciding the truth. You've spent years living alone, traveling from one place to another whilst hunting down people for food. A grim determination to survive for your parents the fire that fuels you til this day, even when a few Anbu are searching for you to hunt you down and possibly even kill you. You don't expect anything from their kind anymore, they're all just cowards hiding behind their excuse called justice and righteousness. Days of playing a nerve-wracking cat and mouse game finally ends when one particular member of the team catches you.

🍂 Any potential mask is hidden behind a mask of hatred and aggression as you stare at the man, his own face hidden behind a mask. You expect him to draw his katana, to use another katon on you to get rid of you yet he just observes you carefully. Another member of the Anbu eventually breaks the heavy silence, asks him why he isn't going for the kill. You aren't the only one shocked when the man, most likely the leader of the group, turns around and announces that he'll take you with him to the village. You're about to hiss at him that you won't let yourself get imprisoned when he reveals his face to you, young and handsome with red eyes staring straight into your own. Your brain turns foggy and you don't remember much after that. You only know that when you open your eyes the next time, you're in a cell with heavy chains restricting your movement. On the other side of the cell you recognize the same guy that knocked you somehow out together with an older man, his hat giving him away as the Hokage.

🍂 You refuse to be grateful to the man named Shisui for deciding to not kill you as you didn't strike him as an open threat. The clients were exaggerating things, he knew they were just terrified of the rumors that had clearly gone out of hand. He doesn't hold your angry behavior against you though as he knows already about the death of your parents, he can't blame you for having zero trust in anyone as you had to learn everything the hard way. Luckily Hiruzen thinks the same way as him and has decided to not kill you, against the will of some eldest of the council. Instead Shisui is in charge of keeping an eye on you and if you should harm anyone, he has orders to kill you. He doesn't want that so he always warns you, admits that he doesn't want to kill you since you aren't a bad person. You can only scoff, not believing a single word he says. He's just a human, you know how they are. He just wants to deceive you. You're bitter and negative, above all deeply hurt though and Shisui sees all of that. It somehow makes him want to prove to you that not all people are bad.

🍂 A small promise to himself to make you believe in some humans again. Shisui starts carefully and slowly to win your trust, being a pushover would be the worst thing he could be right now. A small quip here and there, convincing the council to give you some books or anything to not die of boredom inside your cell and slowly granting you with his help a little bit of restricted freedom. All those small seeds stretched over a couple of months slowly wear your guard down as you start listening to what he tells you and seem to look forward to his visits. You even join him in his jokes although you have a very dark and dry humor. Shisui's own feelings start changing slowly yet he hides it as he knows that he could be replaced as he might act on his emotions. The dark glare he gives someone if they suggest murdering you are instances where his true feelings reveal themselves though. A small part of him foolishly believes that he can somehow get this under control again. But the moment he actually manages to make you smile, a smile that lights up even the darkest corner of his heart, Shisui knows that he is utterly fucked.

Itachi Uchiha

🍡 You've always known that you might get killed for having to feed from humans in order to live. A thought that terrified you in your childhood has now become a calm acception with which you live everyday. You think there are worse people to get killed by when you see him for the first time. Calmly standing there and observing you from a distance where you were eating moments ago from the human. There's a silence lingering over the two of you as you just observe each other yet it's weirdly peaceful. When he turnd around though, no hint given about wanting to kill you, you call after him and ask him why he hasn't killed you. He pauses, head turning slightly back as he replies that you just do what you have to do to survive. He's heard about the stories of a ghoul residing in this area but he also knows about the fact that a lot of criminals have recently been disappearing from around here, people who have murdered people. The one you're feasting on right now is one of them.

🍡 The one you later on find out is named Itachi fascinates you. You've rarely met someone so serene and calm, he didn't freak out when seeing you nor looked at you with any hatred. Deep down you wonder if you'll ever see him again and fate seems to plan exactly that as you see him often around the forest where he seems to stay for a while. He doesn't mind your business and out of respect you don't mind his either although you long to talk to him once more. Strangely enough one day where rain falls down in heavy drops from the sky, your wish gets granted when you see him just standing outside, thoughtful eyes staring into the grey sky. You're captivated by the scene in front of you for a while only to come back to your senses when black eyes meet yours and he asks you politely if you'd like to join him instead of just standing there. Slight embarrassment to get caught staring is quickly replaced with slight giddiness when you two start taking a walk through the forest together, conversing here and there about things that come to mind.

🍡 From that day on, both of you start growing very close to each other. Neither of you two is very pushy and sometimes both of you just spend your time together in silence but it seems to be something both of you don't mind. In fact there's a weird comfort in the tranquil silence surrounding you two. Slowly both of you share stories about yourselves to the other one and neither you nor Itachi judge each other for their past. You tell him how you were orphaned at a very young age and had to kill people yourself and Itachi reveals his position in the Akatsuki and after a longer time of knowing each other, even the truth about his family and how he killed all of them except his brother. It's then that you understand why he didn't kill you the first time you two met. He deemed himself not worthy to judge you for your actions when he committed something much more hideous and worse. He becomes an emotional pillar for you just as much as you become one for him. You rely on each other.

🍡 Feelings start to blossom between you two, you just know that Itachi feels the same as you. You're hesitating though, unsure if a human and a ghoul should be together, especially considering Itachi's position. Although you have a hard time believing that Itachi is a criminal and killer. That all gets shattered the day you get caught by a gang of criminals and they manage to overpower you. You're beaten up and yelled at, typical words such as monster and death threats thrown your way but you're oddly calm. As one of them walks to you, an axe in his hand as he's about to behead you, you feel a twinge of regret though as Itachi crosses your mind. You close your eyes, wait for the embrace of death yet nothing happens. In fact everything happens so fast that you barely have time to process everything before everyone around you is almost or already dead and Itachi frees you from the ropes. You feel the slight tremors of fear and rage still going through his body before accusatory eyes glare at you, asking you silently why you would accept death just like that. You want to answer but when he presses his forehead against yours, Sharingan locked with your eyes, everything fades away.

Sasuke Uchiha

💙 Imagine Sasuke's surprise when he joins Orochimaru with the full conviction that the former Sanin wants him as his new body only to find out that he's one from two candidates to be bestowed with such an honor. There's someone else Orochimaru thinks would be a splendid new body for him and that someone is you. It isn't like Sasuke desperately wants to be the new vessel for the man, he has one goal and that is killing his older brother, no matter what. It's the notion that Orochimaru considers something equally powerful as his Sharingan that insults him and turns his attention fiercely to you, the one supposedly with even better skills. You're a year older than him and have been with Orochimaru for years now with him honing your abilities and skills to near perfection. You have a few screws loose yourself and fit in perfectly as you're everything but sane. You're introduced to Sasuke although you've already been informed about him and show only mild interest. Are you infuriating Sasuke on purpose?

💙 The Uchiha boy soon wants to fight with you, triggered with you brushing so easily over him. You aren't in the mood to do so yet Sasuke leaves you no choice, you realize that he'll attack you so or so. As the older person and the one more experienced with Orochimaru, you think that you should show the young boy his place. That fight serves as motivation for Sasuke forever after, a memory he will never be able to rid himself off. He doesn't know what he expects of you yet what you show him sets the base for his obsession later on. A ghoul is something he's only heard of from in horror stories and legends yet when your frightening eyes stare down on him, your wounds regenerating whilst his aren't, he realizes that in every legend is a sprinkle of truth. You leave him beaten in his room, telling him that he should respect you since he's the younger one, especially if he can't back up all his threats. For now he's nothing but a hateful boy who tries to hide his weakness behind aggressive words in your eyes. A humiliation that imprints itself deep inside his bones and heart.

💙 It's the start of Sasuke's obsessive fascination with you. As humiliated and angry as he is, he understands why Orochimaru would consider you as a potentially new vessel. You have abilities that no one could ever hope to learn or copy, your kagune and your regeneration only a few of them. Your diet doesn't bother him in the least and you don't feel ashamed for it either. After that day, Sasuke seems to follow you around like a little duckling, burning with zealousy to fight you again. Yet you refuse every time, make it clear that you'll only fight him if you deem him as worthy because as of now he clearly isn't in your eyes. Your skills are above him in almost everything as of now but you do watch him training whilst doing your own exercises with Sasuke keeping a close eye on you, analyzing him. With you in the same room as him though, he trains nonstop as he often hallucinates you watching him too. You might or you might not, you're a bit difficult for Sasuke to figure out.

💙 In a strange and twisted way he starts looking up to you so his heart is doing sommersaults when you finally signal him that you're willing to fight him again. The end result is a draw, both of you at the end of the fight on the ground with your curse marks activated. It's an improvement yet Sasuke is not satisfied. When you end up praising him for his performance, he feels strangely enough mildly better. From that day on, both of you train together as he trains you more in the arts of ninjutsu and genjutsu. Thanks to you being a ghoul, your taijutsu is already very good so you train him in that. You grow very close, only that you see Sasuke as your adorable albeit deranged junior whilst Sasuke sees you as an equal, as someone he wants to keep by his side. He's possessive and constantly tries to dominate you in order to change your view on him yet you brush it all off with an irritating yet delightful laugh. He won't lose you to Orochimaru though, he won't let you be that man's new vessel. Nor will he become his new body. After all he has to guarantee that you will never have anyone except him by your side.

[flightfoot]

recs for older/future ladynoir/time skip post show? like early to mid 20s where they're still ladybug and chat noir, i keep looking but can never really find anything except where chat noir goes off grid, but i think i'm just bad at it haha

Hm... yeah there are definitely some out there, though most of them are post-reveal. I dunno if that's what you're looking for, but I'll just see what I can find. I'm assuming, based on this description, that you're looking for something where Ladybug and Chat Noir are superheroes, and not a No Powers AU.

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Boulangerella by @aidanchaser

Once upon a time, magic was wild. The two princes of the kingdom have been tasked with choosing their brides by the end of their 21st birthday celebrations. Crown Prince Adrien Agreste will have to choose between a woman who can protect his kingdom, a woman offering the power to wake his sleeping mother, and the woman he has loved and admired for the past year. Then there's also the seamstress that he is suddenly falling for. By the time he realizes he doesn't have the power to choose at all, it may be too late.

I love a good fairy tale AU, and this is no exception. Aidanchaser started writing it before Season 5 came out, so it's wrong about some things. Most notably, Felix's posthumous father was a good and decent person here, and one of the twin rings is Felix's Amok while the other one is Adrien's Amok, instead of both of them being Adrien's Amok.

This was a well-crafted tale, with kwamis operating as Fae: they can give power, but only if the wielder gives something up to pay for it. For temporary usage of their power, it can be something small and innocuous, such as giving Plagg cheese in exchange for his help. More expansive uses of their power requires greater sacrifices however, even sacrificing more nebulous things such as memories or hope.

The kingdom's currently being terrorized by this unknown villain, Hawk Moth, as in the show. Ladybug and Chat Noir emerge to battle him, but for some reason (*cough, cough*), King Gabriel isn't fond of the superheroes and wants them captured.

Gabriel isn't the only threat out there, Lila's skulking around, hinting that she knows how to wake up Emilie from her mysterious illness, if only Adrien marries her. And she's not about to take no for an answer.

If you've been wanting a fairy tale/fantasy Miraculous AU, I recommend giving Boulangerella a shot!

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Through Yellow Eyes by @echo-has-queries

"Nooroo bleeds and Paris drowns in his blood." The day of the Blight, Paris bore witness to a horror too grand to comprehend. Only Chloé Bourgeois bore witness to a miracle. Marinette, Alya and the rest of Paris will need more than faith in Gimmi to survive. As the city's sanity hangs by a thread, bodies, minds, and souls are traded with the unknown in order to hold on to the things they each treasure most. Written for the AU Roulette Challenge 2024 with the prompt: Cosmic Horror AU

If you like Cosmic Horror (Lovecraftian I think? Though this isn't really my wheelhouse), then this is the story for you! I love seeing how Paris copes with the madness seeping through its streets, somehow going about daily life despite it all.

Kwamis here are more inhuman, more separated from humanity. There's no cute little miniature form to help bridge the gap. While humans can still meld with kwami, it's not all quite as firmly in the human's control as it normally is, and the side effects are worse. It doesn't help that the kwamis can't fully understand squishy little humans' wants, needs, or morality.

Like, as Ladybug, Marinette can't remember her human name, and her human concerns are somewhat muted. While as Marinette, she can't remember certain aspects of her time as Ladybug, and only regains those memories when she transforms again. She also has to be careful about restoring everything, as she can't just give Tikki a cookie and call it a day. Instead, she herself needs to eat enough to compensate for the lost energy, which can be a substantial portion of the goods in her parents' bakery.

As for Adrien... well, this is still going off of Sentimonster Adrien, though the ritual to create him went differently... and went wrong. But he is still Adrien.

Chloe's interesting as well, she's this sort of priest, this missionary for the kwamis, but her methods are... well, not the best. She still has a bunch of her canonical hangups, even though she IS somewhat helpful.

I love Alya in here, she's just desperately trying to figure out what's going on so that she can try to fix it, especially since Nino's one of the people who's been driven mad by the Blight. She does find some answers, and even ends up being partially responsible for Ladybug's creation and Chat's and Ladybug's subsequent fight against the worst effects of the Blight, but the risks, danger, and side effects she suffers are still significant. Though some of those side effects can be used to her advantage.

Anyway, I really enjoyed this AU and thought it was an interesting take on the subject, I highly recommend checking it out!

---

Mamma Mia! by @ladynoirfanao3

When Marinette discovers she is pregnant, she is distressed to realize any of the three men she slept with in the recent past could be the father; Chat Noir, Ladybug’s partner and ex with whom she had gone through a tearful breakup - the mysterious Cat Walker, Ladybug’s rebound - or Adrien Agreste, Marinette’s current boyfriend. Bit of a twist on the base concept of Mamma Mia, where she doesn't realize all three potential fathers are, in fact, the same man.

So this is a fun little fic. I loved seeing Adrien and Marinette independently wrestle with the situation - Adrien, with maybe being the father of his former girlfriend's children (but maybe not), and Marinette, with needing to tell her former and current boyfriends that they might or might not be the father, and having to deal with a potential change in their relationship because of that.

Oh yeah, this fic is rated M, but the sexual content is relatively mild. The foreplay is detailed, but the actual sex is just implied.

---

Fate, Destiny... A Hamster by @mostmagical

After finally moving into his very first apartment per Ladybug’s suggestion, Adrien discovers something no movie or TV show could have ever prepared him for: someone else's hamster.

Marinette was so excited to have her first pet. If only it would stop escaping!

At least now there’s an excuse to talk to the new neighbor.

(Adrienette Never Met AU)

Funnily enough, this is based on a true story. Specifically, the author’s own experience of having her hamster run out and be found by a neighbor.

Anyway, this is adorable! Marinette and Adrien become smitten with each other extremely quickly, with Marinette’s hamster keeping giving them reasons to talk. Very effective wing-hamster, that one XD. 

---

I (Wish I) Knew You by @buggachat

University has been hard on Marinette. Making new friends and maintaining her grades is a lot easier said than done when she has to disappear at odd times to fight akumas. She's struggling, and with Alya away with family and Adrien painfully out of reach, she's never felt lonelier.

If only she could talk to someone who really understood her struggles... but it's not like Chat Noir would know anything about loneliness. Right?

Nice aged-up Ladynoir fic here! Marinette’s struggling with losing friends and lovers because of her flakiness due to her superhero activities, until at last she breaks down. Thankfully, Chat Noir’s there at least - and it soon turns out he’s got problems of his own that he’s been hiding.

There’s some fluff and angst, it’s mostly just the two of them navigating life, dealing with their feelings and talking things out.

---

Tell Me Why You Love Me by @linnieluna

“Anyway, that piece of paper contains the name of this texting app. It’s completely anonymous, so you can download it, make your account with no attachments to your personal life, and communicate with me outside our suits. I included my username on the paper, too, so you can add me once you’re done."

Her partner skimmed through the words on the paper and nodded his head. “Brilliant as always, M’lady. I’m surprised we didn’t figure this out sooner within our superhero careers.”

“Yeah, it would’ve been nice to have this before, but hey, better late than never. Make sure not to have your phone screen on the messages if you’re going to leave it somewhere. We don’t want anyone reading our texts. Also, this is for emergencies only. No jokes or puns. I can only deal with you for so long.”

“I don’t know if I can agree to that last one,” he said.

Now 22 and working full-time, Marinette and Adrien seem to be getting busier and busier, which means fewer opportunities to keep track of akumas and show up on time. With the idea of using a messaging app to communicate with each other without revealing their identities, their lives immediately grew to be easier... until it wasn't.

This starts off as a mostly slice-of-life fluff fic, but about halfway through things turn dramatic when Monarch learns some things he really shouldn’t and takes action. I had a lot of fun with it as it was coming out, it’s worth a read.

---

Wedding Belle by Ilioneththird

Monarch is gone but the Butterfly has taken his place. When an old schoolmate of Marinette’s from her Francois Dupont days gets upset that a couple who have been engaged for a long time still aren’t making any wedding plans, the Butterfly akumatizes her into Wedding Belle, a supervillain with the power to force couples to get married. Guess which other longstanding couples and “just friends” she will target 😉

---

Love is Blind by @jennagrinsoverml

Tired of all of his potential girlfriends being blinded by his face, his fame and his name, Adrien takes a chance to compete on Love Is Blind: France, where he hopes that dating without seeing each other—or learning each other’s names—will finally help him to be lucky in love. What will he do when he realizes that his Lady is one of the contestants, however? And will he be able to win her heart where he’s never succeeded before? Meanwhile, Marinette is looking to meet the right guy after years of pining away for someone who has only ever seen her as a friend. She’s not entirely sure if she can fall in love with someone without seeing them, but the things that have always mattered to her most are the kinds of things that can’t be seen. What will she do when she realizes her heart is being pulled in two directions? And will she be ready to make a decision in time?

---

Remember That Time When by @mostlovedgirl-writes

Twenty-two-year-old Marinette Agreste was looking forward to the anniversary trip she would be taking with her husband Adrien that weekend. Those plans are derailed when she wakes up in her old bedroom... and she’s seventeen again.

[ach-sss-no]

SH liveblog ch 2 First chapter & explanation | Next chapter

Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance.

~ Harlan Ellison, I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream

I FORGOT I DID EPIGRAPHS!!!! Ooooh they're so pretentious!!! But so much fun! For me choosing them, anyway.

No, I did not include AM's hate pillar message anywhere. I should have.

Ah right this is the 'baby backstory' chapter. We're transported 500+ years into the past.

"What's that then?" she asked right away. "Did you steals something?

In retrospect I wish I had made her use verbs normally. Smeagol in the book speaks with standard grammar when he drops 'villain mode'.

The boys looked at each other for a moment. They steeled themselves up and said in unison: "[Sméagol's parents are] Both dead. Fire."

TBH I wish I had just. Made him a normal orphan with parents that died of the flu or something. This is too extra for my taste. I think I was trying to draw a thematic parallel to Frodo's parents mysteriously drowning, or just working in fire as a recurring theme but it's just too much. It's too edgy. I don't like it.

By the way, I looked up other people's Sméagolfic before writing this because I consider 'what other people are doing' to be a part of fanfic reasearch for various reasons (what do people know about the character, what do they expect to see, am I about to write the same story someone else has already written to the extent that it becomes awkward, etc) Multiple people had used a very similar thread of 'Sméagol's mother died giving birth to a non-surviving sister when he was about 5' and it was so similar I wondered if it might have been from a letter or something, but if it was, I never found a source. Fanon does tend to memetically spread.

Béagol had been a greedy idiot. He had married a crazy woman from the settlement just downstream, who would go from laughing to sobbing in the span of a minute and paddled around in the River in full skirts like a child. When asked why, he had said that her wide, pale eyes had moonlight in them.

I wish I had made Smeagol's mother be normal too. Just like a completely ordinary hobbit. I think I was hinting that some of Sméagol's seeming corruption comes from odd genetics out of a contrary desire to make it even more confusing where he stops and Precious ends, but it never goes anywhere.

Sméagol's mother is never named in this, but I privately named her Minnow. For her silver eyes, which look like a minnow's scales. See, there's a reason I didn't include that.

there was something particularly unpleasant sounding about 'Sméagol', and it meant 'someone who creeps into holes'

This is canonically the meaning of his name and I included it here because I wanted to make puns and allusions to it later without requiring the reader to have semi-obscure canon knowledge from the appendices. I could expect people to have paid that much attention for a Silm fic but not for Gollum.

He did not like being touched. He would not speak. After he was fed, he curled up on the floor and went to sleep. His hair was matted.

I understand the temptation to make Gollum a feral child but again. I kinda wish I had just had him be normal. But then again, maybe that's coming from my past fandom self, living through the era when every single thing that might be interesting or unusual about a character (whether an OC or a headcanon about an existing character) drew Mary Sue accusations.

Sméagol slept quietly on the floor. He looked sickly pale and filthy and just as bedraggled and tragic an orphan as you'd wish.

I think I was also trying to 'echo' his current predicament in the fic's canon timeline where he's once again needing to be adopted after becoming helpless and alone after a lot of traumatic incidents, some known and some that will be never known because Smeagol was the only witness and he can't communicate what happened. And I'm sorta trying to sell this muderhobo as sympathetic because oh look he was a baby once too! I still wish I'd had him just be normal.

Back to present day...

Gollum was weak yet, very weak. Men had to take care of him. They picked up Sméagol and moved him around like a poppet.

Gollum is sort of dealing with the discomfort of being reliant on others by mentally characterizing the men in Gondor as inhuman entities with no personal connection (at this point these are all big strong buff guys that can drop kick Gollum if he suddenly turns out to have been faking and ready for murder. Aragorn thought of everthing). I really, really wanted to avoid too much angst or hurt-comfort (this is NOT supposed to be a whump fic, just a fic where my protagonist needed a hard reset- batteries ejected, the works) but I think, realistically, Gollum should be experiencing more mental discomfort.

Although he is good at compartmentalizing and repression.

Gollum is being given a bath, which he is able to enjoy despite not really liking to be helped, because he likes water so much.

they wanted to scrub his skin, they said something about it having a 'residue' on it

Tolkien refers to Gollum as a small, slimy creature exactly once in passing. I don't think he meant that Gollum is coated in mucus like a frog, but he should have been more specific.

I did this because I thought it was funny and also to really push 'The worst ways that Gollum is inconvenient are not even his fault'.

"Does the Men like riddles?" he asked. "No," said one of the Men.

Here's a secret: I hate writing poetry of any kind and I hate every riddle I wrote for this fic. Let's politely ignore them all.

By the way I don't remember why I decided that no one in Gondor wants to play riddles with Gollum ever. I might have just thought it was funny.

Gollum is being given his bath in what's essentially a utility closet because he throws so much water around. I think I got better at logistics as the fic went on? It doesn't entirely make sense that Gollum is somewhere so public. It must be fairly public, because Merry and Pippin turn up because Pippin sees a random closed door and remarks on it. This leads to Gollum inviting him in because he's lonely for his own kind (although he's not aware of that and is just saying he wants to see a hobbit without noting why)

"So you're Gollum!" the more pitying one said. "We've heard a lot about you. My name is Meriadoc Brandybuck, but I'm always called Merry." Meriadoc! Now, that was a proper name, not a bit of nothing like 'Samwise'. "And our name is Sméagol," he said politely. "My name is Sméagol. Sméagol sounds nicer, eh, it does. Doesn't it?" "I suppose it does," said Merry, also quite polite, "I beg your pardon. Sméagol, then.

Interestingly, he never asks to be referred to as Smeagol in canon. I thought surely he would get tired of being called Gollum and say something eventualy, though.

They no longer kicks us into corners and says 'vile, horrid' when they sees Sméagol, now Sméagol is petted and given nice things and hobbits comes to say hello. Is he not so ugly and nasty anymore?" And, of course, the real question was, when would they revert to their former opinions of him and start kicking him into corners again?

I think his main arc for this fic ends up being learning to believe that this will not happen.

"Yes. Do you have a last name? While we are making introductions is a good time to tell us, if you do." "A last name?" "A family name," said Pippin. "No," said Gollum. "If we did we have losst it."

I considered assigning him a last name but eventually decided 1) his weird feral clan probably didn't use them 2) I did not want to be cheeky enough to rename a Tolkien character.

I was considering the name Muckpaddle if anyone is wondering (you weren't)

He did not know that he was expecting something to happen until it didn't happen- the little nudge at the back of his mind that sent an already sensitive temper absolutely raging over, over something or other, to smother to death the still small voice of I did something horrible that can never be undone, and perhaps to only exile me was an act of kindness. This nudge did not happen. He was left with only the knowledge that he had done wrong, and his natural inclination to self-pity. "We are bad, so we have no family," he said, "and, we are old, so very old they would have died by now anyhow, we guess, yes, even the littlest cousins... no family, no name... gollum!"

I don't know how much of him in the books is Ring and how much of it is just an unpleasant personality. I guess here I went with 'homicidal rage = Ring but whiny selfish baby = that's just him'

Merry is looking for noncontroversial topics of conversation so he asks about boats.

"They did not have any boat. We made ours," said Gollum. "Used to make them from reedses…

Tolkien said Sméagol's clan made reed boats.

Aha! He had known that if he stayed here long enough, someone would require something from him in return. Making a reed boat would be an easy enough task. "Of course!" he said. "Good Sméagol helps hobbits however he can. But hobbit musst give us reeds."

He would need more materials than just reeds but I either didn't know that or thought he would have forgotten or left it out.

Merry and Pippin leave, Gollum is taken away and put to bed in his room and left alone. Time passes.

Gollum wakes up with the intuitive knowledge that someone is lurking outside the door.

"O," he cried, "who is there?" This was a sure sign that he was getting spoiled, because he knew one ought never to alert a mysterious presence that one had caught on to it- orcs had given themselves away to him that way too often for him not to know better!

I don't think this is the first time that Gollum is musing on how to avoid a dangerous monster only to casually reveal that he was the monster.

Anyway it's Bilbo (and I'm not totally happy with some of his dialog in his scene, I think later Bilbo scenes are better. I've loved the character since I was a kid but it doesn't follow that his 'voice' is as easy to learn)

"Is this Baggins?" he asked. He was certain it was, but equally certain that it shouldn't be. How could Bilbo be here? Where had he come from?

This is another point where information cannot be conveyed to the reader because Gollum cannot know it; Bilbo is here (and is a little bit on the warpath) because he's just recently seen Frodo and been horrified at his condition and partially blames Gollum for it.

They banter a little (Bilbo is justifiably aggrieved, Gollum is lonely and helpless enough to put aside his grudge so he just kind of says whatever will keep the conversation going and avoids apologizing for anything) until-

"BILBO BAGGINS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" It was Gandalf!

I had not yet committed to making this fic a 100% serious and earnest project. If I wrote this chapter over again I would cut this My Immortal reference.

But I didn't cut it, and it's still here, and I have a certain fondness for it.

"As for you," said Gandalf, "asking riddles, of all things! I have quite by accident begun a research study- how far beyond a hobbit's natural lifespan must one live before he behaves like an adult? Bilbo has not managed it and neither will you. I wonder if another span of centuries would teach you good sense."

This is more anachronistic language than I would choose to use now. I confess I find it really amusing that everyone is just so offended that Gollum wants to play the riddle game. Even though it doesn't totally make sense?

The chapter ends there, Gandalf leaveds Gollum alone to think about what he's done

[not-goldy]

Realistically, if he wants children he has to leave jungkook and live with a woman/alone. If Korea suspects he has adopted a child and is raising him with a man, the child most likely will be taken away. This is not Disneyland, grow up.

And that's something to gloat about?

Opinions are like noses. Everyone has them.

Uhm, No. Compulsory hetersexuality is not his only way out in spite of the institutionalized oppression against queer individuals, inspite of the challenges queer Individuals face due to their culture.

Believe it or not Queer families do exist in SK. Queer couples exist in SK. They have for many years and they will for years to come. The world may not have been made to accommodate us but we do exist against the odds.

What you are describing here is perpetuating heteronormative traditional family values, well modern non traditional families exist in South Korea too.

The fact that their culture stigmatize people with tattoos or gay people don't mean people have stopped getting tattoos or that gay people have ceased to exist altogether for fear of oppression.

One thing about queer individuals is, if a loophole exists we will find it. Not too long yall argued its impossible for Jikook to serve together because their laws does not allow gay men to serve together and here they are proving you all wrong

Jimin has options. Believe it or not.

What you are describing is just one option, the easiest- or hardest option way out I'd say depending on how you look at it.

His life, and other queer individual's lives would be so much better if they weren't queer at all won't it?

But then again, lying about your sexuality, marrying a woman to cover up his sexuality, lying to his wife and children about who he is, using another human being to avoid persecution while hiding and meeting up at Rendezvous joints to screw other men and satisfy his gay urges- is cowardly and in itself hell yet quite common.

Some queer men do do that. It's sad, unfortunate and cruel and never easy on them too but it does happen.

If he meets a girl he genuinely loves and falls in love with and wants to build a family with her I would genuinely support that for him. He's bisexual. He can do that. It won't erase his sexuality.

If he has to use another human being to avoid persecution..... I will support that too. A boy gotta do what a boy gotta do. Sorry not sorry.

If he wants to leave SK behind, live forever as a bachelor, a single father, if he wants to use surrogates, or adopt i will support that too- fortunately for him, he has a lot of fame and money and that puts him in a privileged position compared to the average queer man in SK.

Jimin has options. Some more challenging than the other. It's his choice to make, and as he turns 30 and the social pressure increases for him to settle down, I know he's gonna think about these choices and decisions he has to make and he will decide which way to go.

He might feel they are out of time and need to get real and get with the system. Or he can choose himself and his truth and find a way around it.

I will support him any way he swings but the fact that this is what Queer people have to deal with in this life is just sad.

Stay strong Jimin. Hwaiting