#so you don't think i didn't get your ask or I'm ignoring it

[stillarobyn]

I understand the intention behind this post and I don't disagree with it. I don't.

If you're writing a period piece or something with a certain dark tone, then yes, you absolutely want to keep to that, give your gruff sailor a mumbled line about not being like most other men, or your scattered workaholic scientist can say she never felt like she was missing out on anything by not having a partner while they save the world.

But do not limit the reach of fanfiction by expecting it to be held to the same standards.

Because we need both. Because the target audience for a lot of works that employ this are young, they're disconnected from community, and they're lost. They think they're broken or they don't fit or they are made wrong.

I, a millennial, didn't know about bisexuality until I read about it in fanfic somewhere around 2003 (I was 13). I didn't know any out gay or queer people growing up. It was still scandalous on tv, and my parents didn't have any problem with it, they just didn't talk about it. I can't imagine how isolating it would have felt if my parents prevented me from watching anything with gay characters or spoke negatively about them.

My first discovery of nonbinary identity was in a bandom fic I read in 2010 (I was 20, for those playing the home game). It was maybe two years after that that I began to talk with nonbinary/genderqueer/genderfluid people online. I knew a couple of binary trans people in college, and one in high school, but this was my first time meeting people who weren't a binary gender. In 2012! It took another two years for me, at this point a full-ass adult, to start describing myself that way.

All of this oversharing to say...my understanding of queer identity was not hand-held by anyone in my life, but boy I learned to accept these foreign ideas I saw in myself because I had a safe fictional environment to explore these concepts and terms.

I think it was 2014-2016 when fanfic spaces had a boom of "everyone is trans" AUs and headcanons, and they were often rose-tinted and a bit twee, but that's the point of them. I saw identities I had to look up, and when I asked in follow-up "okay, but what does a person who feels like that look/act like?" it was all crickets, except in fiction, and specifically fanfic.

"But the world is different now, not knowing is no excuse" NOPE. not with anti-lgbtqia legislation passing in the US, or in other hostile countries around the world (I'm from the US, my argument is US-centric based on my experience and knowledge, but by no means exclusionary of people in other countries), or even family situations or rural upbringing or any other circumstance that isolated young queer folk from other queer folk.

A popular live-service video game introduced a nonbinary character and I saw twitch chats full of people who were just confused and uneducated. Ignoring those who were hostile was easy, but the uninformed, especially the non-English-speakers and people who didn't come from Western cultures, were largely open to learning something they never had framework for. Made all the more frustrating in a game environment where the characters didn't make a habit of having these discussions on screen, but that's a different rant.

I don't know if OP intended this in reference to original media, or toward fic, but I saw a lot of established characters in the reblogs so I just want to address that. I'm a characterization first fic reader, so I get it. "Everyone is trans" fics aren't for me, but there's a space needed for them if someone needs to see Captain Kirk and Spock debating the application of terminology of human gender and sexuality in interplanetary cultural settings...now actually I kind of want that fic so I played myself.

Dragon Age Veilguard came under attack for daring to openly and forwardly use the term "nonbinary" in its fantasy world, as though something about the word is inherently incompatible with the fantasy genre? But the game was pretty clear in its goal to create a safe gaming space for marginalized folks when so often their experiences are erased, ignored, tokenized, or stereotyped. The narrative, therefore, had to be hostile to the unaccepting, educational for the ignorant, and validating to the vulnerable. Getting to play in a world where people are referred to as nonbinary (just like me) and where people use they/them pronouns (just like me) and where no one ridicules or attacks them specifically for this? It felt comfortable and safe and the world was ending in the game, but I felt a personal empowerment in my immersion.

More complex and nuanced discussions by characters about their queer identity add to the picture. It shouldn't be in every work because every author has their own angle and their own philosophy about it, but they have just as much a right to a seat at the table. You can have your fics where Tony Stark's sexuality is a smirk and a wink, and you can have your fics where he explains that he used to call himself bisexual but the world is bigger and weirder so he considers himself omnisexual now. And if you don't like that, scroll past it. The author didn't write it for you, but someone else needs to hear that.

Maybe this is just a personal vent that escaped containment, but I feel the need to remind some folks that some people need the LGBT center brochure version because they didn't get one in the mail. It's a tough time for everyone in this community, no need to make it tougher.

he would not fucking say that but it’s he would not fucking talk about his queer identity like he was reading out of a college campus lgbt center brochure

[sirxlla]

Sorry - Halsey (Batboys)

------------------------------------------------

Dick: "and never really understood, the way you laid your eyes on me in ways that no one ever could."

To everyone, Dick was always put together. He was a rock, never broken, never sad or angry, just perfect. It was so far from the truth. He felt lonely, angry, and depressed.

This time of year was so taxing on Dick, he had started having nightmares about his parents and that night of the fall. Usually, this time of year, he breezed through it without so many nightmares, but this year was hell. He saw the fall over and over, and his blame for himself came back with a vengeance.

"No. No! No- No- Nononon! No!" Dick woke up with a start, sweat pooled in every crevice having dampened his shirt and pillow. Of course, he woke you up as well, and you went into comfort mode, rubbing his back.

"Hey...I'm right here if you need anything." You said with a soft whispering tone so as not to spike his heart rate more than it already was.

"What if it's my fault? What if it all is? What if everyone's gonna get hurt because of me?" Dick placed his head on your chest and started sobbing as you rubbed circles onto his back.

"Honey, as long as I've known you, I've known that as long as you draw breath, you'll help as many as you can...You'd give someone the shirt off your back and the shoes you were wearing just because they asked. You're an amazing person, and the world is so much better because you're in it. I don't want you to think any differently about it." You rubbed his back as his tears made the silk of your pajama shirt stick to your chest.

"I'm sorry." He wiped his eyes and sniffled. "I shouldn't be crying, everyone sees me like-"

"Hey, I don't give a shit how everyone sees you, and I would never think less of you 'cause you're brave enough to show me how you're feeling. Okay?" You look into those cerulean eyes shining in the dim light of the room.

"I am so proud of you and no one here would ever be disappointed in you, Honey." You hug him as he nuzzles into your chest and calms down a bit until he falls asleep, you rub his back until you fall asleep with him. His drool is now the only thing dampening your sleep shirt.

Jason: "I've missed your calls for months, it seems, I don't realize how mean I can be."

You had been calling him over and over, and he would read it; you could see he did. He was just ignoring it. He had disappeared into what felt like thin air. Had you done something wrong or was he in one of those moods of his where he thinks he's not good enough for anyone?

He's sitting alone in some hotel room in Central City. Jason left everyone alone; he needed some time to sort himself out. He knew that rule about how you have to love yourself to love anyone else, and right now, he couldn't stand the sight of himself. You didn't deserve his bullshit, you didn't deserve his demons that are drowning him alive.

You have sent his messages daily since he disappeared into the blue.

7:36 A.M. Jan 14th - "Everyone loves you." ~Read by JT❤️‍🔥

3:59 P.M. Jan 16th - "I miss you bunches." ~Read by JT❤️‍🔥

2:12 A.M. Jan 17th - "Just stay safe for me? I'd be in pieces if anything happened to you." ~Read by JT❤️‍🔥

8:36 A.M. Jan 19th - "Sorry forgot to text yesterday, I've been so tired, but I still miss you every moment you aren't here." ~Read by JT❤️‍🔥

5:26 P.M. Jan 20th - "Dinners always ready for whenever you come home. I promise." ~Read by JT❤️‍🔥

1:41 A.M. Jan 22nd - "Tokyo misses you, he meows by the door constantly. Please come home, our family misses you." ~Read by JT❤️‍🔥

10:38 A.M. Jan 23rd - "Jase, please. I can't sleep well without you. I don't know what's going on; please explain." ~Read by JT❤️‍🔥

11:37 P.M. Jan 24th - "Jase, Please come home. I'm sorry for whatever I did." ~Read by JT❤️‍🔥

He read the texts. What you did? You did nothing. He realized how stupid and selfish he was being, such an asshole. His fingers typed before he could fully decide what he wanted to do.

"What did you do? Babygirl, you did nothing wrong. I'm coming home, I'm sorry I've just been so stupid about everything recently. I've been worried I'm not enough but I realize I can spend forever getting closer to my idea of perfect for you until you kick me out or my heart stops beating. I'm sorry and I'll be home soon."

You had cried yourself to sleep that night, and you were so exhausted you hadn't seen the text. Tokyo started meowing, and it woke you; you checked the clock, and it was 3:53. You had only been asleep for a few hours.

"Tokyo, go to bed. He's not here." You cry into your pillow, your face is swollen, and your eyes still red from crying earlier.

"I am, Babygirl. I'm so sorry." Jason saw your face and how sad you were; his heart felt heavy in his chest, and he was angry at himself for hurting you so deeply. You didn't know what to do, so you stared at him as he crawled over to you and hugged you. It had been a hard week without him and him hugging you is what finally broke you. You sobbed into his chest, holding onto him tightly.

"Don't you ever do that again, You Asshole!" You sobbed angrily, hugging him tightly as you breathed in the smell of smoke that lingered on his skin.

"I promise, I never will. God, I'm so sorry. I'll spend forever apologizing for this. I'm so fuckin sorry." Jason heard the sadness in your voice and held you tighter til you both fell asleep.

Bruce: "Sorry I could be so blind, Didn't mean to leave you and all of the things that we had behind."

Being Batman and trying to be a billionaire on top of it just really didn't give him the time to be in a relationship. You knew this, and you tried your hardest to make sure that he never felt bad about it, but it doesn't mean that it didn't feel like shit every single time you wanted to do something with him or you had something planned and he had to change it.

Not only does this include dates and evenings and dinner but it was also sometimes that he was just so exhausted he would fall asleep in the middle of whatever you had planned anyways, it sucks.

You love him so deeply, but he's so busy all the time, and you're trying to give it the benefit of the doubt and just hope that, at some point, you'll come first to a degree. You held out for so long, but after a while, you just couldn't do it; you left.

Alfred noticed the note on the counter; if it had been Bruce, he wouldn't have noticed it for weeks.

"Master Wayne, I believe this is for you." Alfred hands the note to Bruce as Bruce is just about to go back out as Batman.

"Dear Bruce, My Love,

This has to be one of the hardest decisions I've ever made but I know it's the only option that I have where I don't feel guilty for taking up your time."

He started reading and then noticed the marks where tears had damped the paper as he continued to read.

"I would never ask you to put me over the people in Gotham. I know why you do what you do,, but it doesn't make it any less hard when I barely see you, and then when I do, you're covered in bruises, and you can barely get out of bed. I can't do this anymore. I love you, and it pains me so much to do this. I can't live a life where I feel so alone; it feels like I'm dating a ghost. I know that in my heart of hearts, I cannot handle this, and I know a child definitely can't. I'm pregnant and I'd rather do this alone than make you feel guilty for not being there or make myself feel guilty for staying. I love you, and I don't want to try to change you; I know what you do, what you do. I'm sorry, My Love.

Sincerely & Yours Always"

He finished reading the letter, and his heart dropped. You were pregnant? When? When did that happen? He should have known.

"I want you to see about Mr. Fox taking over my role in Wayne Enterprises. I'll still own the company the same, but I'll have more time." He asks Alfred; Bruce knows that this is something he should have done a long time ago. He's been missing you anyway, but now he is about to miss out on you for the rest of his life, and he is about to miss out on his kid.

Not even a few days pass before Bruce finds you, he's drenched in rain in civilian clothes. The rain just enhances the smell of his cologne. He looks even more tired than he usually does. It's clear he hasn't slept.

"I will do anything you ask just please don't leave me." He asks you as you open your door and in his hands held your favorite flowers. Bruce's eyes glanced down at your belly as you pulled him in to get him out of the rain, you were showing. He cursed himself in his mind. How could he even have remotely not noticed, considering how far along you are?

You grabbed towels from your hotel bathroom and began to dry him off.

"I let Lucius take over my job at Wayne Enterprises, so I'll have more time for you,, and I promise I will have more time for you, and I'll have more time for a little one. God, can't believe I didn't notice all the signs were there. How's everything been going?" He asks as his hands hover over your belly, asking for silent permission, which you allow when your hands guide him to your tiny bump.

"It's been okay; sleeping's been a bit rough, this mattress is like concrete, and the morning sickness is a bitch, but overall, I'm okay." You told him as his hands moved themselves under your shirt to feel his hands closer to the growing baby.

"Are you planning on coming home? I- I know we usually sleep during most of the day but I- I really wanna be here through this." You could hear the vulnerability and his voice something that rarely ever slipped to that degree.

"I- Yeah... I really didn't want to do this alone either just left because I didn't want you to feel bad."

"Sweetheart, I will never make you feel like you have to do anything alone again if I can help it." His hands still gently rubbing your belly.

"Well, we're definitely not going to make it home tonight, not in this rain, and I still have the room for the night."

He nodded, and the both of you laid down to watch whatever was on TV; it had been a long time since he had felt anything this domestic or 'normal.' It was so nice and calming, something he now had time for so much more with you.

Tim: "But I still know your birthday and your mother's favorite song."

Breaking up was never something either of you wanted to do, but you wanted to go to school in the U.K. that has always been a dream of yours ever since you were a kid, and Tim would never be the type of person to hold you back from your dreams even if it meant he'd get hurt.

At the start, the two of you texted all the time, and you'd show him things all the time, but slowly, he stopped responding, so you stopped texting. He couldn't bear the thought of not being with you, but he had responsibilities here in Gotham; he couldn't just go.

"Hey, Numb Nuts. I asked you a question." Jason prodded as he finally got Tim's attention after what felt like forever.

"Huh?" Tim was confused; he was so in his head that he didn't even remotely hear what Jason said.

"I said, 'Why are you so doom and gloomy?' You're moping around the place like your puppy died." Jason had noticed how low Tim had been for the last month; he thought it might have to do with you, but you left six months ago.

"You not gettin' any more texts from your girlfriend?" Jason asked a bit cheeky but it was clear that concern laced the tonality of his voice.

"No, I stopped responding. I don't wanna make her feel like she has to respond to me." Tim mumbled.

"I know you're not stupid, so why are you acting like a dumbass?" Jason stated with annoyance in his tone.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're being a dumbass. You know she loves you and you're ignoring her? Why the hell didn't you go with her anyway?"

"I have responsibilities here-"

"No, fuck your responsibilities; there are plenty of people who can take over for whatever you're doing. You get your ass on a flight and go to her before I beat your ass." Jason stated as he grabbed the laptop out of Tim's hands and started booking a flight.

"Go pack, you're leaving in an hour."

"Who's leaving in an hour?" Dick stretched as he walked in.

"Tim is, he's going to see his girlfriend."

"No, I'm not. Guys, I have things to-"

"Yes, you are." Jason and Dick both cut him off. Dick rushed Tim to his room and started helping Tim pack before he could even begin to process what was going on.

Jason texted you, "I have a surprise, go to the airport at 10:30. Don'tt be late."

In your mind you thought 'Aww, Jason's so sweet. My best friend's gonna meet me here.' So you responded.

"Will do. 🫡"

Several hours passed and you arrived at the airport looking around at baggage claim for Jason. He was a bitch bitch, hard to miss. You kept looking around when you spotted Tim and your heart lept in your chest, running over to him and hugging him deeply.

"Oh my god!" You squealed to his suprise. He thought you mightve moved on but hpw you were acting made it clear you hadnt. His arms squeezed you. After the hug you grabbed one of his rolling bags and helped him to your car.

"Oh my god, it took me so long to learn to drive on the other side of the road..." you started rambling and telling him all about your trips and every little detail as you drove him to your flat. His eyes followed every detail on your face, he wasnt even listening just in awe of you. Tim realized just how much he missed you, he broke out of his trance as you lead him inside.

"I bought everybody stuff, I have a box for Jason and Damian and Bruce. I am so exvited for everyone to get their stuff, its gonna be so fun..." Each box had different stuff that interested each of them, you had a box for Tim too. You still remembered everything even though its been six months. His heart swelled at how sweet you are and he just kissed you right there which interrupted your new ramblings. You shoulders fell and your hands found Tim's face as per normal abd the both of you realized home isn't a place, its a person.

Damian: "And so it seems I broke your heart, My ignorance has struck again"

He had another gala to go to for some charity event; besides, this was something his father demanded he do. It wasn't like he had a choice, did he? He's been Wayne Enterprises' new CEO since his father retired; he's been sucked up in events, meetings, and planning.

Although he had a lot on his plate it was no excuse for how distant he was being. Damian knows the date or at least he should. If this relationship is as important to him as it is to you he'll know the date. Your anniversary and this wasn't one of those little petty short ones or some shit. This was five years.

You decorated the apartment, lit candles, wrapped presents, decorated the bed with rose petals, put on music, and even made dinner and his favorite dessert. You were so excited and so proud of yourself, it took you all day while he was at work to do so.

The only reason you weren't at work is that you took it off for this reason. You thought he'd take a day off, too, but it's okay. He didn't cause you had time to surprise him. You paid for everything yourself, you didn't wanna constantly have to borrow money from him, and it was always good to have a rainy day fund.

The front door alarm chirps, letting you know he's home, and your smile grows larger. He remembered! Oh, you were so excited but that excitement faded when he just went to the bedroom? Confusion filled your features. 'What?' You followed him to the room.

Damian was quickly stripping out of his work suit into an expensive one he uses when he has to go to galas.

"Hello?" You asked all dolled up for him.

"Have you seen my blue silk tie anywhere?" He asked, not even remotely noticing the petals or how you looked.

"No, I haven't seen your fuckin tie." Snapping at him but he just rolled his eyes and didn't notice. He quickly got dressed, sprayed himself with cologne, and made his way out the door again.

You felt your heart get crushed in your chest, he might as well have carved it out and stomped all over it. 'He can remember the date for the gala but not our anniversary?' You sat there and sobbed, it's been the same date every year for the last five years. You ate dinner alone, cleaned everything up, blew out the candles, and raked the petals half hazardly into the trash.

A few candles got accidentally left out, having forgotten to drain the bathtub, several petals still lined the floor, and the presents were still left on the table.

You showered yourself and washed off the makeup that felt like it took you hours to get right, the red lipstick staining the washcloth and your lips. You quickly changed and crawled into bed, alone.

Damian showed up at the apartment hours later, he knew you'd be asleep. The galas ran long so why the hell would you need to stay up and wait for him?

He was starving; the galas didn't serve much food. The only thing you could get in abundance at a gala was alcohol, and Damian never wanted to dull his senses like that, so he didn't drink. He went to the fridge, noticing his favorite food; he put some on a plate and heated it in the microwave, making sure to stop it before it beeped so he wouldn't wake you.

He moved over to the dining table that was covered in presents, and as soon as he saw them, his heart fell into his ass. 'The 18th? Shit! I- Fuck. It's our anniversary, God Damn it.' Damian was tempted to run into the room and apologize but what would it do? It would just wake you up and that would be even more rude on top of him being a jackass already.

He ate his food and cleaned up the rest of the apartment. He needed to figure out an apology quickly. 'How could I be so stupid? Wait, that cake in the fridge said 'Marry me?' She- she wants to marry me. God, I feel awful.'

He didn't know what to do to fix this, he could make some sorta big grand gesture, but those always felt like trying to gander sympathy points, and he wasn't gonna do that shit. Damian was gonna be a man and admit how shitty of a person he is. He would just make you breakfast and apologize, take all the blame 'as one should when they're a jackass'

You came out of the room the next day, your hair messy, face puffy, eyes red, lips still stained fromnthe red lipstick, in your robe with your headphones on. You noticed he wasn't beside you and figured he pulled an all-nighter, and you went to wash your face and get coffee.

You pull out the contacts you forgot to take out last night, you rinse your eyes and throw the contacts out, putting your glasses on before going to get coffee.

As soon as your hand reaches for the coffee pot, Damian's hands find your hips.

"Uh uh, you go park yourself right over there. I'm a jackass so I'm doing anything and everything for you today. Okay?"

"Damian, it's just a date on a calendar." You tried to just brush it off.

"It's not just a date on a calendar, it's everything, and I'm so sorry. I'm not going to sit here and make excuses, I forgot because I was so wrapped up in work. I disregarded the only thing that matters in the entire world to me because I got wrapped up in stupid shit that doesn't even remotely matter as much as you do." Gently grabbing your face and looking into your eyes, the redness and puffiness had gone down but lord did his heart skip a beat to see you in those glasses.

"Now, we can't do it over necessarily, but I'm cutting my work hours. They will be designated for five hours, and then the other three or four will be crime-fighting or whatever else I have going on, and the other fourteen will always be yours. Obviously, you'll have more on vacation days or sick days or days; I just don't want to go to work. I promise you my time whenever you need it even if it is during work hours. I would be content with losing everything else but you, okay?" He continued as he kept gazing into your eyes, and you could see the level of anger he had for himself and how sympathetic he was to help you; you could see the pain in his chest that originated from him hurting you.

"Okay." You sniffled and a few tears fell down your face.

"Also, I know it was supposed to be a surprise, but if you want to marry me, I'll do it right now; we can get engaged and plan the most beautiful wedding ever. Whatever you want, it's yours, and if I can't get it, I will find a way." He said as he wiped your tears from your cheeks. You pulled him into a hug and nodded; he wasn't off the hook; hell, you'd let him off the hook before he ever let himself off of it. That was one thing you loved about him when he made a promise; he stuck to it, and there was no one more disappointed in him right now than himself.

Masterlist

[colossrat]

How Captain Marvel Discovers Batman's Secret Identity

Batman give so much of him for his acts, in bruce wayne or in batman, he is a fabulous actor. his posture, voice, microexpressions idk, everything humanly possible and impossible, he did to keep people as far away as possible from connecting his masks.

but there wasn't a 100% guarantee that no one would notice… well, he was very careful with the most obvious and even the least obvious things, but he wasn't such an idiot to think that no one would ever, under any circumstances, would find out about him. This has happened before, my god, Tim found out in the most unlikely way he could think of at the time. still, he was in shock. He was in the meeting room with some other heroes waiting for the time to start, and there he was facing Captain Marvel…

"What did you just say?" batman asks, he wanted to hang himself right there when he realized that there was a tremor in the back of his voice.

The captain's eyes widen, almost panicked.

"oh... i didnt mean nothing by that! its just... I don't want to offend you! I just couldn't help but notice that you have lip fillers… like, relax! It's super discreet. I only noticed it probably because I can see the needles' holes, even though it's half healed. and-- Is that why you didn't come to the last meeting? It's recent, right? I know you weren't like this the last time I saw you. but like, zero judgement! I know how society judges men in these scenarios, I think it's super cool that your masculinity is strong and resistant to criticism- Not that you will receive criticism! again, it's SUPER discreet, I only noticed because I notice things like this occasionally… I think."

he was falling over himself with his words, clearly nervous because he commented on what he noticed without meaning to, perhaps out loud… batman swears it felt like he wasn't even talking to him, whispering to himself "lip fillers?" Batman doesn't know that this was little Billy, confused by the information that Solomon dropped into his mind.

Batman didn't try to stop the babble of words that came from the other hero's mouth, still in shock from the fact that he had noticed that he had had a cosmetic procedure. Well, it's not like he could appear like Bruce Wayne out there with his face all crumpled up from taking so much beating, he needed the procedures to continue with a playboy face… he just never expected anyone to recognize such a minimal change. since he only carried out the procedures in a super subtle way... but marvel noticed and not just that.

The captain's eyes squinted, now falling on the bat's chin and jaw.

"Is that botox…?"

They look at each other in pure silence. Marvel adjusted his posture, uncomfortable with the eye contact.

"I'm going to keep my mouth shut, sir, Batman sir, don't worry. No one will notice anything. It's really cool, by the way, you're like a jewel, a very polished and.. jovial one" and he then walked away to sit on the chair more as far away as possible.

Well, it wasn't the end of the world yet… Batman tried to ignore it. He tried not to die of paranoia over the fact that someone had noticed such a small detail. Everything was going to be fine, the chances of the captain also knowing that Bruce Wayne recently had lip fillers and some botox were minimal… but not zero.

He really tried not to be so paranoid… but it was difficult, and he ended up distracted during a gala and got kidnapped, because of course he was. and of course that for some reason it was doctor sivana working with lex luthor, of course then captain marvel got involved in the rescue. OF COURSE.

He tried to avoid eye contact immensely, giving all his attention to Superman, who was also there. Clark was confused, he thought maybe it was because he hadn't revealed his identity to Marvel yet. But he really needed to go if he wanted to get information for his article later, so he left Bruce Wayne in Captain Marvel's hands with an apologetic expression.

Bruce tried to be positive, and it screamed a lot of things. He tried to think that there he was a playboy and it was super common for him to also have some cosmetic procedures on his face, maybe Marvel wouldn't assimilate him and Batman like that out of nowhere… but then he soon remembered that Marvel could see the needle holes, the microscopic, healed holes from the needles… it didn't take two seconds of looking into each other's faces for the captain to turn white paper pale.

His mouth opened like a dead fish's, and Batman knew he saw it. fuck.

they stared at each other for a few minutes. silent and harrowing minutes. They were literally frozen in that moment for so long that Superman came back with the information he wanted, with a super worried expression because he didn't understand what happened there.

The captain, noticing the new presence, realized that he had been in shock for too long already.

"ahm… so, bruce-- sir, bruce wayne… sir… sir wayne. mister…? ah-- um… I'm going home… in silence… and I I'll keep silent… ok? again, it's super discreet and you don't have to worry, ok? Maybe a little, but relax. Superman, sir. bye..."

and he flies away in a beam of shame, perhaps. Superman looks at Bruce with palpable confusion.

bruce then takes a deep breath and looks at clark

"can you tell I have lip fillers…?"

and clark goes pale.

"no…" "just a little bit…?"

Bruce snorts in displeasure. the kids will never let him forget it if they ever find out. They can't find out...

But they probably will because Damian has a strange friendship with Captain Marvel's Tiger, of course.

[practicalgauntlet]

~You're still my person. Even if I'm not yours.~

Part two

"We kept crossing paths, near misses and almosts, when all I ever wanted was for us to collide." -Jessica Katoff

Synopsis - Some time has passed, and you think you've healed. But when you're shot by an unsub, old wounds are ripped open for all to see.

Category- Angst, hurt/comfort, happy ending.

Notes - Hurt/comfort, you get shot, Canon typical violence, blood and gore, angst, self-loathing, self-blaming, a year has passed between this and part one, gender-neutral reader (I only use They/Them pronouns because I know everyone likes Spencer not just the girlies), I'm so sorry this is so long, you're a trooper if you get through all of this. The fic started writing itself :/

A/N- this is for @bloodredrubyrose and everyone else who wanted the happy ending. I hope this is okay.

WARNING- This one-shot has violence similar to the cases in the show, but I wanted to bring attention to what transpires and is mentioned in this fic. The case revolves around murdered pregnant women and their fetuses. If the topic is too sensitive for you or can trigger anything, I suggest not reading this.

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A year has passed since J.J.'s wedding.

You still find yourself hurting, lying awake at night thinking of the possibility of "What if?". You still have to shake away the thoughts of inadequacy, of not good enough.

Sometimes, when you're particularly tired or inebriated, you find yourself still unable to look away from him.

It was three weeks and two days after the wedding when Spencer invited you to hang out with him again. It was a month, two weeks, and eleven hours when he greeted you with a genuine smile again.

It was eight months, three weeks, six days, and two hours when you felt like you could breathe again.

Everything was back to normal. It wasn't bright, shiny rainbows and glittery kittens like Penelope said it would be once you healed. But it was normal.

It was easier to ignore the festering pit in your stomach during the day, easier to look your team in the eye, say, "I'm okay." and mean it. It was easier to watch Spencer heal the same way you were.

You were so proud of him. It felt like your Spencer was back. His long-winded speeches about something that didn't seem relevant but ended up helping the case drastically, his magic tricks in the bullpen when Hotch was in his office, and his goofy authenticity. All of it was back, at least partially.

He still got quiet when J.J. was around and closed in on himself. But compared to those days after the wedding, he was making immense progress. You just wished he let you in so you could help.

"I don't think they're listening."

You barely hear Morgan's voice over the bubbling thoughts that threatened to take control and invade your mind.

"Oh, sugar they're definitely not listening."

Penelope's hand was slamming down on your desk, startling you out of your reverie.

"What's on your mind, honey pot?"

She asks, propping herself up on the table. With her quirked eyebrow and intense look in her eye, you knew what she was asking.

"Are you still hurting?"

She was right to be worried, right to involve herself in case you got worse again. But instead of thinking about Spencer and how you'll never be on the receiving end of his affectionate gaze, you were actually thinking about the case.

There was a lull in leads, the ones you had only took the team to a dead end. Dead body after dead body and still nothing.

"I'm fine, Pen. This case is just taking a lot out of me."

And it was true. The BAU had been called in because a dead body had been unearthed by a gardener somewhere East. A heavily pregnant woman had been murdered, her unborn child ripped from her body and buried with her.

It was horrifying, to say the least, the brutality of the unsub turning your breakfast sour. But it had been seven hours since the team landed in the small town, and you were still no closer to finding the culprit.

"Why don't we get something to eat, hmm?"

Penelope suggested, hopping off the table and holding out her hand for you.

"If you're getting food, get me a little somethin'. I'm in the mood for Chinese!"

Morgan yelled from across the room, his hip propped against the clear board Spencer was mumbling at.

"I guess we're getting Chinese."

You chuckle, standing up and following Penelope out of the makeshift conference room the local police allowed you to use. As you were passing Spencer, you turned to him and called his name.

"Do you want anything specific?"

He looks to you, eyes reluctantly leaving his equations as he's pulled from his thoughts.

"What?"

There was a surge of affection at the sight of his pursed lips and furrowed brows. The way his hands fiddled with the marker, clicking the lid on and off the end.

"We're getting the team Chinese takeout. Do you want anything?"

"Just a fork."

You nod your head, peeling yourself away from his attentive gaze. When you and Penelope get in the car, she places a hand on yours. You didn't take your eyes off the road, but you could tell that she was looking at you with that look again.

"How have you been, sugar?

It felt good to have someone watching over you, someone in your corner, to ask if you were okay even after time had passed and you were healed.

"I've been doing good."

She was the only one to know of your breakdown on Rossi's front porch. She was the only one you allowed to see what it did to you those weeks afterward. How depressed you were, how hopeless. Penelope Garcia was your best friend, and she was the only one to know you were still unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Spencer Reid.

"Are you sure about that? I know this case is a doozy but I know that look in your eye."

You briefly take your eyes off the road once you reach a red light, patting the hand that now rested comfortingly on your thigh.

"Yes, I'm fine. It doesn't feel like the world is ending anymore. Plus, life is unfair sometimes. I just need to roll with the punches."

She looked at you, her knowing eyes always privy to the storm that rolled beneath your skin. In one final attempt to comfort her worry, you flash her your most believable smile.

Penelope quirked an eyebrow and looked away, not at all convinced but persuaded to leave it be for the time being.

The trip for food was brief. You got various dishes in case the team was in the mood for a certain thing. You were back at the station within twenty minutes, walking into the conference room to something you never wanted to see.

Your team was gathered around the table, faces grim as they spoke towards the phone sitting in the middle.

"Another body..."

Penelope whispers, catching the eyes of Morgan as he shakes his head solemnly. Hotch was already giving the team their orders.

Morgan and Emily were dispatched to question the family as the local police had already ID'd the girl. She was a well-known and loved woman; she was a part of the PTA, led the neighborhood watch, and hosted bake sales for all parts of the community.

J.J. was asked to stay behind and deal with the journalists and news anchors that suddenly surrounded the station.

That left you and Spencer to follow up with the police at the scene of the crime. Spencer drove the two of you there, your knee bouncing in the passenger seat as you watched the scenery pass by.

"I don't get it..."

Spencer mumbles. When you look to him for an explanation he was already glancing at you.

"Why pregnant women? Why take the baby out and bury it with the mother? It makes no sense."

You flip down the visor, both because you need to get the sun out of your eyes and to do something with your hands.

"Maybe they're surrogates for his real target? A mother? Maybe he's upset at his mom and taking the baby is a way to give mercy to his inner child."

"Or maybe," Spencer counters, long fingers drumming on the steering wheel as he pulls into the crime scene. "They're surrogates for a wife."

The scene before you was gnarly. And unfortunately, the unsub had changed M.O.

The woman was buried in a shallow grave like the others, dressed in a thin white gown, poised perfectly like Snow White with her child tightly swaddled in a towel and tucked safely in her arms. The only difference was the lack of blood, the lack of brutality. That, and she had blonde hair whereas the other victims were brunettes.

"He's devolving."

You mutter, feeling sick at the sight of her.

"Or he's getting close to what he's wanting to do."

You look up at him from your squatted position, taking in Spencer in all his glory. He looked so good in his FBI vest, with his sweater and tie peeking out from the collar.

You shouldn't be thinking of him like that. Not when a woman and her child had lost their life and they lay decaying in front of you. Not when you should already be over him.

"What do you mean?"

"She looks perfectly preserved. Sure, she's laid out in the same outfit and the same position. The color and the way she's laid are meant to symbolize purity. So we know he isn't murdering for hatred. He feels sympathy for these women. But look at this,"

He crouches next to you, the movement sending your heart into overdrive. His sleeves were rolled up as he shoved his hands into some blue surgical gloves. You could even smell his cologne.

"Her hair," He picks up a strand. "Her hair had been styled. There's a texture to it that means he used hairspray. And while the others' hair was wild and unkempt, most likely because he kept them for some time or they fought back, her's is washed and curled."

"So we know this woman is a surrogate, but he's not acting on any sexual or vengeful impulse?"

Spencer turned to you, looking at you from above his sunglasses.

"I think we're ready to give the profile."

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"We are looking for a white male in his mid to late thirties."

Morgan starts as he leans against one of the desks, his arms folded against his chest. Emily stepped up, continuing on as she stared each and every officer down to make sure they were taking this as seriously as it was.

"Look for someone who had recently lost a wife and child during the birth, someone who is most likely blue collar. He would have been a normal man up until his loss. Now, he would be agitated and easily riled up. Getting into fights or arguments when he normally wouldn't. "

You step in, delivering the line you rehearsed in your head over and over on the ride back to the station.

"He's kidnapping pregnant women so he could relive the birth. So he could hold his child and kiss his wife. But he's desperate, so he is taking the babies out prematurely and amateurly that neither victim survives. He would need a space to do all of this, a garage, a second home, or a place of work. Somewhere concealed enough to not draw attention but spacious enough to perform the c-section."

It was now Hotch's turn to deliver the final line of the profile.

"He will continue to take women until he gets what he wants. We need to make sure Kate Smith is his last victim."

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You found him. Carl McGregor, a welder for a construction company. His wife of six years died giving birth to his child, and he went off the rails.

You sympathized with him, knowing that he was in so much pain. But that didn't excuse what he did to those poor women and the families they were a part of.

Carl was hiding out in his garage, a woman in the last week of her second trimester strapped to the table; screaming for help.

You were the first on the scene, your legs carrying you just a bit faster than the others. When you opened the garage door, you had to put every ounce of will not to tackle the guy to the ground.

"FBI! Put the scalpel down Carl!"

Carl was hovering over Debbie Park, a young mother of three and a half. He had her strapped to a makeshift stretcher and her terrified screams broke your heart.

"No!" Carl said with a crazed look in his eyes. "My wife is about to give birth, give her space!"

You lower your gun so the barrel isn't aimed straight at his skull but keep it raised just in case. When you spoke, you made sure you sounded as calm and understanding as possible.

"Carl, your wife died three weeks ago giving birth to your son. Let Debbie go so her husband doesn't experience the loss you did.

You don't know how or when Spencer made it into the garage but he suddenly appeared in the shadows, his gun aimed at Carl.

"No, please!" Carl was focused on you, his shaking hands still holding Debbie down. "This is my wife! Why are trying to take her away?"

You lower your gun entirely, feeling safe with Spencer there to have your back. You approached Carl slowly, keeping your body crouched as if you were approaching a scared and wounded animal. Because that's exactly what he was. A scared and wounded animal.

"Carl?" You put a hand on his shoulder. He winces but doesn't attack. "Debbie has a family, she has three kids and a husband who are worried sick about her. Do you want to put her husband and kids through the same pain you're feeling?"

It all happened so fast. First Carl was lunging at you, a gun you didn't know he had raised before you could pull your own. Debbie's screams mixed with yours as Spencer fired his gun and took Carl down.

There was a sharp sting to your chest, your right shoulder to be exact just under your collarbone. Upon Carl's death, his finger squeezed the trigger and put a bullet three inches from your heart.

Spencer was in front of you before you could collapse, cradling your head to save it from bashing against the concrete ground.

"I need a medic!"

Spencer yelled into his com, his face wild with worry as he pressed his hands into your wound.

It hurt, sending a blazing fire throughout your body. In the back of your mind, you heard yourself scream from the pain, your throat raw and ragged. Your hands uncontrollably gripped Spencer's vest, clutching him closer to you as you tried to breathe around the sharp, boiling pain.

"You're going to be okay, the medic is on his way."

Spencer's voice sounded far away, garbled and hazy like he was underwater. Panic soon tore across your body, thrumming through your veins as you tried to ignore the sticky warmth pooling through your shirt.

"No, no, stay with me. Stay with me please!"

You barely felt Spencer's cold hands patting your cheek. You had to say it now, as you were dying. This was your last chance to tell him how you feel. You already felt yourself slipping away.

"Spence..."

Your mouth felt so dry, your tongue sticking to the roof of your mouth. He was shaking above you, pulling your body into his lap as he rocked you back and forth.

"I'm here, I'm here. I'm not leaving, you'll be okay."

You felt he was saying that more for himself than he was for you.

It was hard to unfurl your fingers from his vest but you did it, lifting your hand to cradle his cheek. It was now or never.

"Before I dye, I need you to know-"

"No!" Spencer seethed. You had never seen him so emotional before, so upset he looked feral. "You are not going to die! Where's my fucking medic?!"

"I need you to know, that I love you."

He smoothed his hands over your face, brushing the sweaty strands of hair away from your eyes. "I love you too, you're my best friend."

You let out a breathy, strangled, humourless chuckle. Of course he'd make you spell it out for him.

"I'm in love with you, Spencer..."

Black was edging your vision, your ears ringing as you watched Spencer blink once, twice, before the medic pushed him away.

Faintly you felt your body being moved, that white-hot pain once again rendering you speechless as you finally succumbed to the darkness that was calling to you.

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Spencer couldn't breathe. Couldn't think. Couldn't taste, or hear, or feel. Frantic, animalistic worry overpowered every other emotion. Logic be damned, facts be damned.

"Reid, calm down or you're gonna wear a hole in the floor."

"There is a high chance the bullet nicked a vital vein or artery. It took us fifteen minutes and thirty seconds to get her to the hospital and another six minutes for the doctors to start operating. There is a higher chance that she lost too much blood and will need a transfusion. If she needs a transfusion there is a chance she could have a Febrile non-hemolytic transfusion reaction or a Transfusion-related acute lung injury. There are so many possibilities to think over and every time I think I've found a way to stop them another one pops up. Do not tell me to calm down!"

Morgan backed off, holding his hands up in mock surrender.

"My bad, man."

Emily was next to approach him and he had to look away from the worry on her face.

"Only thinking about what could go wrong will only cause you more stress. Maybe you should go home and take a shower."

"Stop telling me what to do."

He didn't recognize his voice, and he knew his friends didn't recognize him. So he backed off, settling himself in the uncomfortable waiting room chairs, and put his head in his hands.

Emily was right. Derek was right. But if he thought about anything other than the complications that could take you away from him all he would focus on were the last words you uttered before blacking out.

"I'm in love with you, Spencer."

He didn't know what to do with that information. After J.J. he didn't allow himself to even look a second longer at someone that was out of his league. Which was everyone. Especially you.

You were so kind and gentle with him. You let him go on his rants, asking him to finish what he was saying if the team not so subtly told him to shut up or bluntly interrupted him. You loved his endless facts and knowledge and you told him often.

You were like a beacon of light when you entered the room, his gaze unconsciously looking for you wherever he was. You were his best friend; you knew everything about him and still treated him like a human being. Not some computer, not some freak.

Spencer let out a shaky breath, adrenaline still pumping through his veins. His hands were shaky and he couldn't keep still to save his life. He had never felt like this before, not when a gun was pointed in his face, not when the bureau was infiltrated. Not even when Emily was in the hospital.

He'd never been this scared shitless before.

And then it hit him.

He was in love with you.

He had been for a while. Maybe after J.J., maybe before. Spencer didn't know when it happened or how deeply it had been buried. All he knew was that it was now so fucking obvious.

It felt so natural. He had always thought you were going to be a permanent fixture in his life. Always thought that you'd be a phone call away when he needed you and he'd be the same. Whenever he thought of something you were always there, in the back of his mind like you belonged there.

He faintly heard a commotion, the sound of chairs scraping against the ground and footsteps running away. He looked up from the floor, his body fuzzy from the realization.

Spencer bolted from his seat the moment he saw the doctor standing in front of his team. He gently shoved aside Morgan and J.J. needing to hear the news as close as possible.

"They're stable and awake. It had just barely missed their heart, but they will heal with no permanent damage."

Spencer could have dropped to his knees with relief, his body sagging and his lungs deflating.

"Can I- we see her?"

"Of course, but we still need to take their vitals frequently. And a room full of people would not be best stress-wise so I suggest one to two people at a time."

Morgan clapped him on the back, a knowing look on his face before shoving him forward.

"We're going to get something to eat. You check on our sunshine."

After all the attitude he threw their way, he was dumbfounded that they would give him such a precious opportunity.

"Thank you,"

"No problem, Pretty Boy."

When Spencer entered your room, it was like he walked into a different reality. You were usually so bright and shining, carving a path of light and kindness wherever you stepped, but now you were lifeless. The tubes and wires hooked up to you made you look so uninhabited; pale, and sickly from the blood loss.

Spencer approached the bed, being careful not to make any noise that would startle you awake. Your eyes were closed and he assumed you were probably in and out of consciousness due to the pain meds they were pumping into you.

He hated seeing you like this.

"Spence?"

He hadn't realized you had awoken, too focused on all the machinery you were hooked up to.

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

Spencer didn't know what to do with his body so he just stood there, willing his emotions into submission and picking at the skin of his thumbs.

"I feel like I just got hit by a train."

You groan and he is at your side immediately, checking the monitors and making sure your pain meds are working. They were, but he needed to make sure.

"What no fact about processing pain or how it affects the body?"

You were looking up at him now, a pained but genuine smile on your face. In the hour that he worried relentlessly about you, he feared he'd never see that again.

That smile faded into something akin to concern when he didn't respond.

"What's wrong Spence?"

"I thought you were going to die."

He sounded so small, even to his own ears. Weak, scared. Like a child.

You waved him over closer, and he listened. If you told him to, he would follow you to the ends of the earth. It surprised him when you grabbed his hand and placed it over your heart, the roughness of the gauze grazing his shaking fingers. He tried to pull away, but you kept him there so he could feel your heartbeat.

"I'm still here, Spencer. You can't get rid of me that easily."

"Do you-" He couldn't stand not knowing anymore. The probability of people saying things they didn't mean while bleeding out was too high for him to think clearly any longer. "Do you remember what you said to me?"

He watched your face turn sad, your lips turn inward and your eyes drop to the hospital-grade blanket. You also dropped his hand, the limb numbly swinging back by his side.

"Yes," You refused to look at him. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have put you in that situation, it was unfair of me."

"No, I-"

"I understand if I've ruined everything. I don't blame you if you don't want to be friends anymore."

Before he could think and rehearse a thought-out sentence, his mouth moved and spoke for him. "I don't want to be friends."

He realized his mistake not a second later. And to make up for it, to take away the pain on your face, he gently grabbed your chin and made you look at him.

"I love you too, so much so that the idea of you dying turned me into an illogical and emotional mess."

Tears lined your wide eyes as you stared up at him, your cheeks regaining some color. Now that he's said it out loud, he couldn't keep his mouth shut even if he tried.

"I love you so much, that I want to take away all your pain. All the bad memories and shitty feelings that take away that pretty smile. I'd do anything for you."

You reached up and cupped his cheek, much like hours before, your lip quivering.

"I'd do anything for you too, Spence."

"I know."

It felt natural to kiss your forehead, to settle into the small hospital bed, and tuck you gently into his side. It felt natural to, days later after you were discharged, take you on a proper date and call you his.

A/N- Realistically I know there would be more turmoil, less trust, and more self-doubt during the confession part but this is fiction of fiction so let's just pretend okay:) I'll save that stuff for the full-length stuff. Also along the lines of reality, I know that there is such a thing as a bulletproof vest, but I needed drama so forgive me.

[hyunjuenthusiast]

HEYAA

can i request a nsfw fic with hyun-ju x fem!reader where they have pent up hate with eachother and they hatefuck? and PLEAS PLEASE dom!hyun-ju!!

THANK YOU🫶🫶

I love this request! Although who tf could hate Hyun-ju?! Certainly not me. She's my wife! But I shall do my best✋🏻😌 this is longer than what was probably wanted but I was BORED.

NOT SO HATEFULL AFFECTION

Summary: The request listed above.

Warnings: SMUT, dirty talk, jealousy, enemies to lovers ... mentions of death, kind of slow burn.

Not an adult? Don't read.🔞

You watched as player 120 pressed the O, therefore voting to stay. She even has the audacity to look at Young-Mi as she walked to the blue side.

You caught her looking at you, and you gave her the meanest glare you could muster, making her look down a bit. Young-Mi stepped closer to you, looking up at you with those sad eyes before begging the players to let her go home, making you all the more upset at Hyun-ju.

When you and Young-Mi walked back to Ms. Geum-Ja and Yong-Sik's bunks, you glared scoffed as you saw Hyun-ju already sitting there. What a bitch, sitting with the people she betrayed.

You sat in front of her, with your back facing her. Young-Mi sat next to you, her eyes downcast to the floor. You almost cried at the sight, gently reaching over and holding her hand. "Everything will be okay, Young-Mi. I promise." You say to her softly, making her nod tearfully.

Hyun-ju obviously heard you because you can see her look away in shame from the corner of your eyes.

When Ms. Geum-Ja and her son return, the older woman asks Hyun-ju why. Why she would vote to stay and watch more people die.

You notice some of Young-Mi's tension eases at Hyun-ju's explanation. Telling Hyun-ju that she was beautiful, she even began calling her Unnie again. But not you. You couldn't shake the betrayal, even though you knew deep down, Hyun-ju wasn't being selfish. She wanted to be comfortable in her own skin.

So why did her betrayal hurt so much?

You could feel her gaze on your back, but you didn't acknowledge it, or her, in anyway.

The time for lights out came, and you lay on your uncomfortable bed. You can't get her explanation out of your head. You felt bad for being upset, but at the same time, fuck her, you know?

You practically jump out of your skin as you hear a soft voice from behind you.

"Y/n?" Hyun-ju says, making you tense. No. You weren't talking to her. You ignore her, hoping she'll think you're asleep. You hear her shuffle closer before you feel your bed dip. She's sitting by your legs.

She fiddles with her hands, like she usually does when she's nervous. "I-I know you're awake, Y/n, and I know you don't want to talk to me. I understand." She sniffles, making you slightly role your eyes. Crying wasn't going to make you forgive her.

"I'm so sorry." She whispers. "I knew I made a mistake the second I saw you and Young-Mi." She says. "I promise that in the next vote, I'll vote to leave." She says, hoping to make things right.

You turn your body, finally looking at her, your eyes cold. "In the next vote? What if you're dead by then? Huh? What if I or Young-Mi are dead by then? Or Ms. Geum-Ja or Yong-Sik? Christ, even Jun-Hee! She's fucking pregnant! Does surgery really mean more to you than our lives?" You ask her, giving her a tearful glare.

"You don't understand." She says softly, giving you pleading eyes. "You're right. I don't. I'll never understand how someone could be so cruel."

"Y/n please, I-I" you inturupt her. "Go fuck yourself, Hyun-ju." Turning back around, your back facing her once more.

You hear her sniffle as she walks away.

You all head to the next game, the others acting as if nothing happened. You listen as she apologizes to Young-Mi on the staircase, feeling a little hurt that the younger girl forgives her so easily.

You stand far away from her as Mingle begins. Even as she says that your group should stick together.

"SIX"

The voice says, making everyone scramble to find a group. Your group only had five until Hyun-ju grabbed the crazy witch lady, making six.

Running into a yellow room, you pant, a little put of shape. But everyone is safe. As you lean your body down, your hands gripping your knees, you feel a gentle hand rubbing your back soothingly.

Looking up, you see it's Hyun-ju. You quickly move away.

You step back as the shamen lady comes towards you.

"I know what festers in your lustful heart. There's no out running it. I suspect you'll give in any time now." She says, her eyes naturally crazy.

You look at her. "The fuck." You say, making Yong-Sik laugh, in return his mom hits his arm.

The door unlocks, and round 2 starts, then round 3, then round 4.

"EIGHT"

The voice shouts. You, Young-Mi, Yong-Sik, Ms. Geum-Ja, Hyun-ju, Jun-Hee, Dae-Ho, and Gyeong-Seok all bolt to another yellow colored door, but there was already a group of people in there, you all look over when Hyun-ju shouts that she found an available room.

Running as fast as you all can to the green room, you let out a yelp as another player knocks you down. You quickly get up, looking around for your group, scared as the timer is at 7 seconds.

"Y/n!" You hear Hyun-ju yell, and you watch in horror as she races towards you, leaving behind everyone in the green room, when Gi-Hun and Young-il run into the room, making Eight, Hyun-ju quickly drags you to another one, one wich thankfully needed two other players, as soon as you both got it, the timer ran out.

She saved you. But at what cost. "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" you scream at her, not caring about the other players in the room. "THEY WOULD HAVE DIED! YOU SELFISH FUCK!" You yell, hitting her chest. She allows it. Maybe if you let out some of that pent-up anger, you would feel better.

"I saved you. You wanted me to just leave you behind?" She asks, clearly irritated. "YES! Everyone would have died, Hyun-ju! EVERYONE."

"They didn't. And you're still breathing. That's all that matters." She says, making you falter. She goes to hold your hand, but you pull it back.

After the doors unlock, you quickly hug Young-Mi, apologizing to everyone for almost causing them to lose.

The final round begins.

"TWO"

The voice says, you look to Young-Mi, but she's already being dragged away by Gyeong-seok. You let out a sound of surprise as Hyun-ju picks you up, racing to an empty room.

She holds the door, making sure no other players get in. You're slightly shaken. The stress finally getting to you. You hear the door lock and Hyun-ju catches her breath. "Are you okay?" She asks softly, this time you nod, no hostility.

You look at her tearfully. "T-Thank you" she just gives you a reassuring smile.

Back at the bunks, you're zoned out, not really paying attention to what Ms. Geum-Ja is saying. You slightly jump as you feel someone touch your shoulder, looking up, it's Yong-Sik. "You gonna eat that?" He asks, eyeing your kimbop.

Thankful for the laugh, you hand it to him. You don't have an appetite anyway.

Hyun-ju gives you a disapproving look, walking over and sitting down next to you. She holds up her food, offering you some, you just shake your head, making her scoff.

"Stop being so stubborn, take it." She says. You just shake your head once more. "M'not hungry." You whisper, your voice a bit horse.

The guards make an announcement that it's time to use the bathroom, the woman go first. You walk behind Hyun-ju.

Some women give her strange looks, but Ms. Geum-Ja is quick to shut that shit down. You don't even use the bathroom, only sitting and crying silently. Letting out some of the fear and anger you have.

Not realizing that almost everybody was gone. Almost everybody. Hyun-ju gently knocks on the stall door. "Y/n, are you okay?"

You quickly wipe your tears. "I'm fine," you lie. You can hear her sigh. "Are you decent?" She asks, making your eyebrows furrow. "Umm yes?"

You're baffled at how easily she gets the door open. You're about to question her before she kneels in front of you.

You tense as she reaches up and caresses your cheek, wiping away all the tears you missed. "It's okay, sweet girl." She whispers, which causes more tears to form in your eyes.

Your lip quivers. "D-Do you promise?" You ask, your voice trembling. She gives you a questioning look. "Do I promise what, sweetness?"

You sniffle. "Do you promise you'll vote to leave this time?" She visibly melt. "I promise, Y/n."

"I'm still angry with you." You say, a small pout on your lips, making her smile softly.

"Let me make it up to you?" She asks, making you cock your head.

"How are you going to do th-" She inturupts you, pressing her lips gently to yours. You pull away with a gasp as you feel her tongue trace your bottom lip. "What are you doing?!" You whisper.

"I'm making it up to you. Let me make you feel good, sweet girl. You deserve it." You back away as she tries to kiss you again."You can't just expect me to forgi-" She kisses you again. This time, her tongue makes its way into your mouth.

You pant as she kisses her way down your neck, her hands reaching to the bottom of your shirt marked 005. "Can I take this off, Sweetness? Hmm? We don't have much time." She says, her voice lustful. You nod quickly.

Your shirt is discarded on the floor, and she takes in the sight of your breasts in your dark purple bra. She waists not time ripping it off, literally. Making you gasp! "Hyun-ju! I can't get another one!" She only chuckles. "Good, that means I'll get to enjoy the view until we get out of here."

Your head rolls back as she suckles one of your nipples, only to wince as she bites gently. "Don't look away, pretty girl, if you look away I'll stop." She says firmly.

You huff, but keep your eyes trained on her. "I hate you and your porcelain cap teeth," you mumble as she bites down again.

"Be nice to me, baby. Or I'll treat you like the brat you are." She says making you roll your eyes in return. She doesn't like that.

"Stand up, put your hands in the seat, and bend over," She says, standing up herself. "Ew no, that's unsanitary-" She pulls you up, putting you in the position she wants. "Count" She says.

"W-what?" You ask, but yelp as she suddenly spanks your ass. "Ow! What the f-"

"I said count." She growls.

....."one"

When she reaches 10 you almost start crying, she's fucking strong.

"Are you going to be a good girl? Or do you want some more?" She asks, rubbing the cheek she just spanked. "I-Ill be a good girl!" You say quickly. You can't even imagine how much more it would've hurt if she had pulled your pants down.

As a reward, she slowly reaches her hand to the front of your pants. "Is this okay?" She whispers, making you nod. Her hand slowly goes past the barrier of your panties.

"You're so wet." She chuckles. "The little brat is a masochist." You blush, and gasp as you feel her fingers start to rub circles on your clit, but whine when she stops.

She only turns you around, guiding your back against the stall wall and putting her hand right back into your panties.

God, she's good with her fingers....but you won't feed her ego by telling her that. You let out a small moan, closing your eyes, relishing in the pleasure.

She quickly stops again. "What did I say about looking away?" She asks, her voice firm.

You whine, quickly opening your eyes. "I-Im sorry!" She gives you a glare.

"You will be." She says as she pulls down her pants, revealing her cock. Your eyes widen. How the actual fuck was THAT supposed to fit inside you.

"Take off your pants, and pull down your panties. Now." She commands and you do.

You're a little shy when pulling down your panties and slow, so she yanks them down. Putting them in her pocket. "These are mine now." She says darkly.

She waists no time, slapping her thick cock against your clit. "F-Fuck, please!" You say, giving her a pleading look.

She pushes only the tip in before taking it back out, repeating that until you're practically crying. "Please!" She chuckles. "You want my cock, don't you baby?" She asks, leaning down to nibble at your neck. "Yes y-yes please Hyun-ju!" You beg.

Your breath is knocked out of your lungs as she gives one thrust forward, bottoming out in one stroke. Fuck she was big. You felt so full.

"What's the matter, sweetness? Hmm?" She mocks as she pulls alost all the way out, slamming back in. "FUCK!" You scream, already knowing she's going to bruise your cervix.

"You're such a slut. Letting an older woman fuck you." She says, moaning into your ear. You cling to her, thinking it wasn't fair that you were the only naked one.

You go to beg, but only whimpers escape your lips. "Oh poor baby, I've already fucked you dumb. Hmm?" She mocks, reaching down to rub your clit.

"You've been such a good little slut for me, go ahead...show me how much you love my cock. Cum for me." She says, her voice pure sex. "F-Fuck H-Hyun-ju!" You say as you get closer and closer.

"Cum for me Y/n. Now." She says as her thrusts start to get sloppy. When she leans down, taking your nipple into her mouth once more, you let go. Screaming in ecstacy as you clench around her twitching cock.

"Fuck yeah baby, just like that" She says, finding her own release inside you.

You both pant as you calm down. She reaches for the toilet paper, gently cleaning you up, helping you pull your pants back up, and putting your shirt back on.

"W-Wait my underwear!" You say, making her smirk. "I told you...those are mine now."

I got this request a HOT minute ago, but I hope this delivers 🙏🏻😭 I tried to make it as hateful as I could ✋🏻💀

[miyakazashi]

Link Click Bridon Arc Episode 5

Thoughts on the dinner scene

Oh dear... Oh my goodness...

Omg😭😭😭 Cheng Xiaoshi's wayyyy too gullible 😭😭🤣🤣 what do you mean he really thinks "you look tasty" is an authentic Bridon greeting😭😭😭 he doesn't understand English and just somehow adapts the weirdest thing Vein has ever said since his debut😭😭😭😭 and Vein looks so proud of himself- I can't- I'm crying I love them so much-

But they're adorable🥺🥺 like, they've only met twice where did this secret handshake come from- you know what, continue on, I'm not gonna stop this mess. I love it.

Xia Fei is literally me when I saw this😆 Lu guang has clearly had enough😆😆😆

Uhmmmm.....I’m not sure that’s the usual way people describe meat...uhm... Vein...?

Nevermind- he's adorable- everythings fine- everythings all under control, let's all just ignore what he said seconds before...okay ??

"Heh..."

No words just 😶🫢 don't say that with that expression, the fans are gonna misunderstand and I know it-

Overall Thoughts

1. Can I say I literally almost screamed when I saw the Chinese traditional round table, like omg...!!!

2. Vein calls Xia Fei by his English name Felix, saw some people asking on Twitter just a few days ago, didn't think we'd get the answer this soon though

3. Guess we can add one more clue to the latest right hand left hand theory, chopsticks on the right

4. I don't know how I feel about the "tender as your flesh" line, it's honestly kinda unsettling, like...I don't think it's a joke anymore guys... Even if it is just a Vein is eccentric thing- I don't know 😥😥

[jscrawls]

Widows rest

My take on a Black widow! Reader x Batman and Batfam but with a slight twist, reader doesn't know the Bats but they seem to know them...

Warning: contains avengers infinity war spoilers, black widow spoilers, brief mentions of violence, hospitals, poor writing, possible ooc,

Part 5. Bat-man?

The next few days are a drag, constant visits from the man and his gaggle of kids between tests and physical therapy. You're getting better about dropping silverware having to rely on what little information trickles in from the visits and the staff, you've found out more about Gotham City, apparently you're in New Jersey? The city happens to have a thriving elite community and just so happens to have the highest crime rate in the country. Great. you've started telling yourself It's like a mission you and nat went on nineteen years ago, you pretended you were a couple looking to adopt so you could get close to the adoption agencies lead chairman who was running a crime syndicate with the children.

The air here smells, you'd convinced a nurse to bring you outside after days of asking, claiming you wanted fresh air. they'd hesitated and hmmed and hawed and delayed enough that you were convinced you were held in a hydra facility rather than a hospital, but then they relented. under the condition that you stayed in a wheelchair so as not to stress your muscles, the two security guards that followed you were a bit much. now as you look around you think the nurse just didn't want you breathing in the smog.

It's dark enough out, the glow of skyscraper lights gives you enough of a view to tell you that you're actually in a city and not in some secure faculty in the mountains. Police sirens wail from multiple directions down below and ambulances occasionally careen into the lot and you even faintly hear the occasional shout, this place is surprisingly normal despite the situation you're in. ignoring the men watching you you lean towards the edge of your seat and glance down at the streets, there aren't a lot of people out, strange.

Glancing down at your lap you're reminded of your sticky situation, you're stuck in an injured and weak body that doesn't feel like yours, and you apparently have a family. At this point you've started to accept that whatever you are isn't your earth. Speaking of you can see a lit up billboard in the distance with his face on it, your eyes narrow as you study the airbrushed looking sign. “Wayne enterprises” it doesn't surprise you that it's named after him, he seems more and more like Stark the more you hear about him.

The shuffling of feet behind you alerts you, the security guards are leaving, the hair on the back of your neck stands. you don't have to look behind you to know there's a new party watching. Damn this city and it's fucking vigilantes.

A hand lands on the handle of your wheelchair, you swing your elbow, nearly catching a covered face before they hastily block and slide in front of you as they push you back into your seat. And then they…. Squat down? Hands up placatingly as they put themselves in your line of sight.

“easy, you're not in danger.”

The voice is deep, forcedly so. Apparently a huge fan of the color black. The ears on the mask nearly make you laugh, this must be the bat-man red Robin and the staff's talked about.

“What is it with you people creeping up on me, I'm starting to feel targeted.” You spit out as you cross your arms and lean back in the wheelchair, you're subtly thinking about whether you could kick him hard enough to shove him off the roof. He looks sturdy, it'd be difficult from the chair.

He doesn't react, just lowers his hands once he's sure you're not gonna swing at him out of fear. “I'm sorry for scaring you, you're not targeted by the heroes i promise, i just wanted to fill you in on the trial. Your attackers been found guilty today.”

That catches your attention, attacker? Everyone had been walking on glass around you, tiptoeing around the subject of how you supposedly wound up in the hospital here. “….. Tell me more.”

🔹🔹🔹

The man sits on the ledge in front of you, one knee pulled to his chest with his elbow resting on it. Somehow you'd wound up with the cape in your lap as a blanket was Thor's cape detachable? he's…chattier than you thought he'd be, the mask thing hides much of his face so it's hard to read him but he sends to have warmed up to you quickly while telling you the story.

“…so at what point did the ‘fear gas’ happen? Before or after i got butstocked in the head?”

“After, the young Wayne boy covered your face with a handkerchief but you'd already been dosed. You're lucky it didn't do worse, some people don't recover from a two hit combo like that.” he looks away, glancing down at the street for a moment.

“The young…. Damian right? I met him yesterday…or should i say i was reintroduced to him?”

Tilting your head back you sigh, putting on an air of tired incredulity, not that it's entirely fake. At least you're getting some concrete information now, attacked at some charity event with your ‘family’, some Mafia type guys got too aggressive with the youngest two and you tried to jump in, ending up with a metal butstock to the temple and got hit with some kind of hallucinogenic gas? You'll worry over the specifics later.

“Yes…i believe that's his name. How do you…feel about that? Meeting children you don't remember. A family That's strangers to you…” he shifts, stretching his leg out and leaning forward with both elbows on his knees, his attention solely on you.

You hum, thinking the question through as you glance at distant skyscrapers for a moment. What would an amnesiac say?

“…it's strange, imagine an adult stranger calling you dad or mom, i don't know anything about those people, their stories, their interests, and the billionaire husband thing…i don't even know if I'm some…arm candy trophy spouse or what that situation is like.”

The hero nods slowly, his hands clasping together and interlocking as he studies you.

“…. I'll say that, Bruce Wayne seemed genuinely distraught, when you were being wheeled out of the gala….i don't know him that well, but i think he genuinely cares about you and respects your marriage. He was willing to ditch the bachelor life for you after all, so maybe there's genuine connection there?”

“we'll see about that.” You shrug, shivering slightly despite the cape in your lap. It's cold up here this late at night.

“Let's get you back inside, you're immunocompromised enough as is right now.” He stands, striding closer and grabbing the handles of your wheelchair and turning you away from the edge of the building.

🔹🔹🔹

By the time Bruce makes it back to the cave it's nearly three, the engine rumbles idly as he sits in the front seat lost in thought. They were…. Different again, just like Tim said. Though they seemed more genuine to him, more open about how they're feeling. It makes sense, he tells himself. They were suddenly thrust into a life they don't remember, of course they're struggling. The whole family is.

He cuts the engine and climbs out of the batmobile, he was gonna do more work tonight…. He just couldn't stop himself once they started talking, the plastic smile off their face, the relief in their body language, How they looked with his cape wrapped around them. He walks past the training areas and the med bay, finding the bat computer chair isn't empty.

“Tim?” He pulls his cowl off as he approaches, running a hand through his tousled hair.

“B, you're early.” He hardly looks up, energy drink and cola cans decorate the desk around him like some frat boys dorm decorations, Tim's eyes are glued to the screens, going over toxicology reports.

“Not that early, i was…busy. anything new?” Bruce leans over to get a look at the screens, his right elbow resting on the back of the desk chair.

“did you know that some studies suggest that gingko biloba, one of the oldest living tree species, may be very beneficial to people with memory issues including short term memory and dementia and Alzheimer's?” Tim rattles off like he practiced his lines, only briefly glancing away from the screens in front of him to glance up at Bruce with what Bruce can only guess is an attempt to look reassuring.

“That's interesting…. Still nothing on the fear gas. I take it?”

Tim sags, wiping a hand over his (bloodshot) eyes as he goes back to scrolling. “No. It's just regular old fear gas it seems. LSD, epinephrine, PCP and fear toxin.”

Bruce straightens up and sighs, running a hand through his hair again. “Well…good work chum. At least we know for sure what we're looking at here.” He pats Tim's shoulder heavily and turns to leave the cave to trudge up to his office, but hesitates for a second. “Tim?”

Tim perks up slightly, swiveling in the chair to face Bruce. “Hmm?”

“Go to bed.”

🔹🔹🔹

Taglist: @cxcilla @mercuryathens @dind1n @redsakura101 @ninihrtss @let-me-dance @ladykamos @one-piecelover

[lucycore]

Let me make it up to u - Fred weasley

₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊ ˚ ☁️💌☁️ ₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚₊

Kinda enjoying to write fluff one shots these days..weird..

Summary: You catch Fred talking to Angelina in a place not visited often so it brings misunderstanding with it.

☁️ Fluff one shot ☁️

˚˖𓍢ִ໋☁️✧˚.💌༘⋆˚˖𓍢ִ໋☁️✧˚.💌༘⋆˚˖𓍢ִ໋☁️✧˚.💌༘⋆˚˖𓍢ִ໋☁️✧˚.💌⋆˚˖𓍢ִ໋☁️✧˚.💌༘

Fred and you were dating for 10 months so almost a year. Since the Yule ball you became more in love with each other.

After class you were making your way up to the tower to enjoy the nice view and some peace. It was rare that people went up there but you needed that and it was your favorite spot to hang around even with Fred.

Finally up there you raised your head just to see Fred talking to Angelina. Your heart stopped. You almost couldn't believe that it's real life.

You stood there frozen for almost two minutes. They didn't notice you after you grabbed onto the railing of the stairs, feeling like you gonna pass out in a second.

They gave you a shocked look. You were good at holding your tears back while giving Fred an look of absolute desperation and devastation.

"Y/n.." Fred whispered before you turned around, running down the stairs with tears escaping your eyes.

He immediately left Angelina to run after you.

'Y/n wait!' He called after you but you ignored him. You just wanted to be alone, not wanting to see him.

'It's not what you think it is!' He continued trying.

You ran out of the castle getting few looks even from Harry and his friends.

'Oh no..That smells like trouble..' Hermione said to the round.

You hid behind a big stone and sinked to the ground, just crying while the wind was blowing through your hair.

Fred was quick enough to see where you hid and went to you without hesitation kneeling in front of you.

'Y/n please let me explain..' He placed his hand on yours which was wrapped around your knees.

You pushed his hand away and looked at him with red, tears filled eyes.

'There's nothing to explain, Fred..I saw you with her alone away from others..' You stood up ready to leave but Fred grabbed your arm, moving his hands to your shoulders.

'We were just talking...About you actually.." He said calmly looking into your eyes. He clearly felt guilty, continuing: 'I thought talking face to face in a place filled with people would bring false suspicion..Clearly I was wrong and I'm so sorry if it seemed like I betrayed you..You know I would never, my love..' He placed his two fingers under your chin, stroking your cheek with his thumb, moving your chin up to let you see his soft smile.

'I wish I could trust you but..' a tear ran down your cheek.

His smile disappeared immediately and turned to a worried look.

'But I don't know if I can trust you..It seemed-' Fred cut you off. 'I know it looked like I was betraying you but I swear that's not the case..'

He took a few steps closer to you.

'What were you discussing about me then and what would she know? We aren't even friends..'

You looked up at him, still resisting his touch so he gave you some space and put his hands into his pockets.

'Well..You know I never had a girlfriend nor were interested in any girl but I still wanted to spend a nice day with you..take you on a date so..' He struggled a little, feeling slightly embarrassed about it but then looked back at you.

'So I asked her what girls like to do on a date and she gave me some ideas..We decided on one..Well I won't tell you cuz I want it to be a surprise but you should know that I'd never betray you..I can consider myself the luckiest guy on this planet..I wouldn't ruin it like that.'

Fred carefully took your hand and gave it a kiss like a gentleman.

You finally stopped crying but Fred reached up to wipe your from tears wet cheeks.

'I'm really sorry, baby..Can you please forgive me?' He asked.

You nodded. 'Yes I can..'

He gave you a smile and pulled you into a kiss. The both of you closed your eyes, enjoying your lips on another.

You had your hands placed on his chest while he had his on your waist. After kissing he pulled you into a hug.

'Let me make it up to you..Let's go on a date tomorrow by sunset.' He suggested.

'Sure let's do this.' You smiled while looking up at him. All happy and giggly again.

'Love to see you smiling again.' He smiled and the two of you returned to the castle.

The next day in the evening, Fred lead you hand in hand to the place next to a big tree, where the two of you could have some privacy.

You didn't know what he had planned until you saw everything prepared.

The date idea from Angelina was a picnic. One of the most romantic date ideas. You loved it. You couldn't stop smiling while holding onto his hand.

Next to the food on the blanket laid a bouquet of your favorite flowers. It was absolutely beautiful and you immediately threw yourself around his neck hugging him. He loved seeing you this happy and it was a great apology for what happened yesterday.

[balkanradfem]

Alright, this one is for all the people who read my 'spatula' and 'roommate emergency' posts. Because if you suffered trough those long whiny posts you deserve to know the insane continuation/ending to the story. Warning for high levels of drama and plot twists. Under cut because long.

So, after all of the emergency and spatula debakl, I was starting to feel slightly less warm to my roommate; not enough to be mean, but I decided to focus on my own stuff and not give her as much attention. We were still saying hi and casually chatting, but I wouldn't take food if she offered. She bought some fruit juice and told me to drink it, and I didn't wanna be mean so I just said 'you should drink it too', and ignored it. I will not be mollified with some fruit juice.

I felt happier focusing on myself, but I also started to get a little anxious, because what if the roommate gets mad at me, and then moves out? And then I thought, wait, that's an insane thought. Nobody moves out of a place because their roommate is a bit withdrawn and depressed, and doesn't give them tons of attention. Besides, I haven't done anything ever to cause her harm or distress, I'm just living my life and leaving her to hers. I'm fine.

So yesterday late evening, I went to the bathroom and noticed all of her shampoos and shower gels were missing, and immediately got worried about it. Why would she remove all her bathroom stuff, unless she is actually moving out? But she never said anything. It was already so late at night, I couldn't go bother her about it. It was 11 pm. I tried to not worry about it and fall asleep, but I couldn't. Thinking how maybe she's moving out, and then I'd be alone looking for a roommate in January when the bills are the worst, filled me with anxiety. How would I pay my rent? I heard her then, leaving her room and going into the bathroom. I made a split-second decision to get up and confront her about it. I needed to be sure.

I caught her in the hallway, and asked 'Hey, I saw you took all of your shampoos, are you leaving? If you're leaving I need to know.' She smiled at me and then reassured me that if she was leaving, she'd tell me. She then showed to me how a lot of her hair started falling out, and she thinks it's because of the shampoo, so she threw it away and now needs a new one. Oh okay, I thought, that's a relief. I told her thanks for explaining, and how I got so worried I couldn't sleep. She laughed at me for being silly and worrying, and I grumbled 'don't laugh at me' as I went back to my room and wished her a good night. She seemed so happy I talked to her, probably because I wasn't initiating any conversations lately.

Next morning, I woke up sad, so I was moping in my room, and at one point she stopped by my room asking if I was okay, and if I'm going to work. I replied weakly that I was fine (I wasn't, I was kinda sobbing and forgot my room door was open) and that I didn't have work that day. She said okay. I heard her leave.

After I calmed down from my sadness, I realized I needed to contact her employer, because she was supposed to pay her share of the bills, and even though I reminded her two days ago, she forgot, and I needed that money. I hate bothering people about money, so I just sent a little 'how about today?' message thinking that was friendly enough. Her employer responded with 'sure I'll send you the money via [roommate name], she still isn't at work.' I responded with 'she left, she should be there soon'.

And then I thought, maybe I was wrong when I heard her leave, so I got up, knocked on her door, and said her name to check if she was still there. No response. I pushed the door open.

My heart sank to the bottom of my feet.

The room was empty. The bed was empty. There was a mess on the floor but mostly trash. Her things were gone. Her clothes were gone. The key to the apartment was on the table.

I was immediately stricken with shock, and the realization that she lied to me yesterday, when I anxiously asked if she was leaving, she smiled and reassured me that she wasn't leaving while she was already packing her bags! But why?

I panicked then, thinking what I should do next. Was she okay? Was she safe? Did she go to a friend's place? Should I call her employer and check if she still went to work? But that's probably not what the roommate wanted, I needed to find her and ask her why, and what to tell to her employer, because I didn't know the right answer. I grabbed my bike and headed outside and tried to find her in the city.

No luck. After half an hour I understood too much time has passed, she could have been anywhere. She's left and cannot be found. I couldn't call her, because her phone doesn't have a real SIM card so calls don't work. I relented and called her employer to check if she was at work, and to try and find out what happened.

I needed to be calculated in order to get any kind of information, so I called and said 'Hi, just checking if [roommate's name] got to work safely?' And employer says 'No, she's still not at work'. So I go 'Did something happen yesterday? Something is wrong'.

Her employer was extremely evasive on what exactly happened. She started listing events like 'she wouldn't clean the windows, we had a media day yesterday and she had to talk to the cameras, she got mad about something, said she didn't want to work, that her head hurts, but wouldn't sign the form saying she's quitting, then she changed her mind and asked for a free day, but she already had two free days, she was unreasonable' it was a mumble-jumble of events I couldn't put together right. And then I finally told her that [roommate's name] is gone. She took her things and left the key. The employer didn't even seem that shocked. I was still in shock. I asked her to call me if she managed to get in contact.

I was still struggling to accept just what had happened. I then remembered that even though we never used it, at one point I added her on facebook, and maybe this could be our point of contact. I wanted to talk to her just one last time, to find out what happened at work that forced her to leave, and to say goodbye. I couldn't accept that she is just gone after all that, with no explanation, no goodbye.

I went to the park, connected to the internet and frevently searched for the little icon in my messenger. I found her. I sent her a message saying 'Hey, please tell me why you left. I won't bother you, I just need to know why.'

No response. She was online. I knew she saw it. But nothing.

I couldn't accept it. I tried calling her on facebook. She immediately blocked me.

I was left staring at my phone in disbelief. This was it. This was all I would ever get for closure. I'd never find out what had happened. Not from her employer, and not from her.

I felt heartbroken but at the same time had no time to deal with the emotional impact, because I had incoming panic about rent and bills! Her employer would definitely not want to pay her dues now that she was not even living there anymore, and I needed a roommate to stay afloat. Then I remembered, there was one person who viewed the apartment a month ago and wanted to move in, but wanted a solitary room – maybe she'd be interested in it still, since solitary room was now free.

I took my luck and called the woman. After I'd explained who I was and why I was calling, she was delighted. 'I thought about you every day!' she said excitedly. As a lesbian, I love a woman saying that to me, but, it was not the time. She's a 60yo divorced straight lady and I have to keep it together. She said she would move in tomorrow evening, and I said okay, not believing her fully because honestly who can you believe? 'I would tell you if I was leaving' was still ringing in my ears.

I knew now what I needed to do. Go home and... clean out the apartment.

It was as sad as you can imagine. I had to take down the christmas decorations that we had put up together, because the new person would surely find it odd to see a christmas tree at the end of January, and I just think it's nice so why take it down. I had to go clean out roommate's room, which had a fair amount of trash in it, and I realized, some stuff from her work, the key to her workplace, her working clothes. I understood I'd have to return those to her employer, who later called me to ask about it. I said I would bring it immediately.

Her employer wanted to talk to me, but only to convince me that the roommate was a lazy, messy, unmotivated and disobedient slob, which I didn't believe. I knew this lady was abusive and mean to my roommate and likely the reason roommate left. She was trying to paint my roommate as the villain so badly because she wanted to cover up her own abuse. I didn't believe any of it and I left. She didn't give me any money for bills. She promised to give it later.

I went home, and continued with my cleaning journey. I found some interesting things my roommate left behind. She left some random food items, like some oil and pasta, and then one transparent produce bag filled with something white. Rice, I thought? It was salt. Then, while clearing out her table, I found 3 pens, and realized all three were mine. Later I found a 4th pen, also mine. There was also some stationary paper from my desk. This explained why I could no longer find a pen in my room, they were all somehow ending up here. But I never invited her to just take my pens? It seems that every time she needed to write something down, she'd take a different pen from my desk, and never returned any. Well, that's not a horrible crime, I thought, it's just pens. None of them worked anymore, even though I made sure to only keep working pens on my desk.

I thought about what her employer said, about her being messy and leaving stuff everywhere, and even though I argued back and said to her my roommate was nice, some of it didn't feel so true anymore. She was leaving stuff everywhere, and created lots of messes. The first week she arrived we cleaned together, but that was the last time she cleaned. Every other time it was me cleaning alone. And she would sometimes spill stuff on the floor, or on the stovetop, and leave it. Or leave all counters cluttered to the point where I had to move her stuff before using them. But I thought she was just too busy to pay attention to things like that. Then while cleaning I found one of my fanciest kitchen cloths, with several holes burned trough it. That is a bit too chaotic, I thought. Why must you burn my cloth?

I was riddled with a lack of understanding of what happened; how could she have been here in the morning, talked to me like everything was okay, and now I will never see her again in my life, and never know why? Why would she do that? I have in the past, helped roommates flee from abusive situations, and if they had to quickly move, I would help them pack, lie to their abusers for them, hide their stuff they couldn't take with, so they could come get it later. Why would she find me unsafe to tell the truth to? I would have helped. I would have told her employer whatever she wanted me to. I've been on her side and advocating for her from the start. I convinced the employer when she was sick to let her off work, I held her hand when her eyes were sick, I bought her medicine, I offered to go anywhere and everywhere with her to translate and speak on her behalf when she needed anything. It couldn't have been just because I was moody and sad for a few days. I couldn't understand it.

The only reasons I could think of why she did that, was either she was worried I'd be mad she's leaving, worried I'd try to stop or follow her (which I wouldn't), or someone else instructed her on what to do and they spelled out to her to tell nobody.

The lady who wanted to move in called me again, and said she actually wanted to come and sleep here the same evening, and I now only had a few hours to clean everything out. I was exhausted, shaken, emotioanlly in shambles. But I washed all the windows, cleaned the fridge, washed the furniture and the floor, changed all the decor, put my spare cover and fresh bedding in the other room so the new roommate could sleep there without having to buy anything. The new lady has a list of red flags on her too; some of her behaviour is what I wouldn't want in a roommate, however, what choice do I have. I welcomed her, made her tea, explained all the rules, and then witdrew to my room to eat some peanut butter because I had forgotten to eat all day due to stress and shock.

And then I wrote this down! It's still the same day as I'm writing it. I talked to my roommate in the morning and now a new person I don't know is in that room, and I'm still stunned. What on earth happened today? I still want a phone call with an explanation. I didn't deserve to be left like that. I can't make out what to think of her now, this has never happened to me before. I had people leave on short notice, but never secretly, never while lying to me about what they're doing.

I still feel like she'll come here any second! Like I'll hear her voice again saying hi and how are you. But I never will again. It feels so weird. I'm both sad and relieved. She must be in a better place, far from her employer and with her friends who understand her and can help her find a better job. I'm relieved she's probably safer. But I'm sad about not getting a goodbye. Sad about being blocked, when all I wanted was an explanation. Sad about 'I would tell you if I was leaving'. How many times in life do you get anxious, then reassured that you're worrying for nothing, but then the anxiety turns out to be correct and the person purposefully lied? That doesn't bode well for future references.

I can't figure out if she was a nice person, and there were good reasons warranting her leaving like this, or whether I just misjudged her.

So yeah, unsatisfying as it is, this is the end of my Nepali roommate era, we sure had,,, times, and it sure did, end. I would like to apply for the drama free life from now on please.

[hancocksspouse]

Not him slipping up and calling Doll his ‘wife’ 🥺

Sold

WARNING: DESCRIPTIONS OF TORTURE AND VIOLENCE AND DEATH. IF YOU ARE EASILY UPSET OR UNCOMFORTABLE WITH DETAILED DESCRIPTIONS OF HARM, PLEASE DO NOT READ.

OTHERWISE, PLEASE ENJOY THE IDEA OF AN ANGRY HANCOCK READY TO RIP A MAN APART FOR HIS 'WIFE'.

-

Hancock wouldn’t consider himself a cruel man. In fact, he hated cruelty. Didn't see a point in cruelty unwarranted.

But if you were to ask him right now about it as he stared unfeeling holes into the man strapped to the chair before him that was struggling to collect himself while he tried to ignore the splinters that had been hammered beneath 2 of his nails, he'd admit he could be pushed to it under the right circumstances.

He learned at a young age how to get in and out of Diamond City unseen. Even had a full body outfit specifically for the occasions when he followed Doll into town, which he did often. With McDonough still in charge and prejudice running alive and well through the city, it wasn't often he left Doll to be alone there. It was no secret she wasn't a fan of people's behaviors towards ghouls and synths. Made it clear to plenty of people that she did not think highly of people that treated anyone lesser for being different rather than use their actions and behaviors as a basis.

So when a 'brief stop' at Home Plate turned into a full on missing person's case, it didn't take him long to figure out what may have happened. The panic that had settled in his stomach when she never came back out from Diamond City and he found signs of struggle in her house was only amplified when he got Valentine to help him look and confirm that there was not only a fight, but somehow, whoever broke in managed to sneak her out of the city without any eye witnesses. He almost didn't believe him but Diamond City jail was completely empty and despite her personal beliefs, many citizens still held a respect for her enough to notice if something happened to her.

Valentine knew that nothing he could say to him would ease what was festering in his chest and he wasn't going to attempt it. Even a blind man could see the feelings he had developed for his companion over the time they had been traveling together and he knew how dangerous a man in love could be. Hancock alone was already a force to be reckoned with. Put his heart into it, it's a whole new monster.

"I know I can't change your mind on whatever it is you're going to do, but at least give me a little time to point you in the right direction", he said, offering Hancock a cigarette as he lit his own while they stood in Doll's house together. "Don't need to get anyone involved unnecessarily". Hancock almost rejected the offer, but knew he needed whatever help he could get. McDonough wasn't going to help and his Diamond City security cronies were useless. Instead, he nodded slowly, taking the offered cigarette.

"I'll give you til tonight. If you got nothin', I'm doin' it my way. Meet me back here in Home Plate", he said, breathing out a cloud of smoke. The calmness he responded to Valentine with was eerie and he knew he meant what he said. He knew what him handling business would look like and he simply nodded in response.

"I'll take it".

True to his word, come nightfall, they were once again at Home Plate, the mask of Hancock's disguise set atop the table as he took a breath in, not used to having to hide behind such a heavy piece of clothing.

"Traveling caravan was let in not too long before she went missing. They were seen wandering in, but no one recalls doing any trading with them, only them taking a large container out of Diamond City. I'd bet caps it was her. One of the security guards had also been seen both in Home Plate and helping the caravan load the container, so there's an inside man", he says, a frown on his face while looking at the mess left behind in her normally put together base. Hancock's eyes lower into a glare.

"Sounds to me like you're insinuating McDonough set it all up", he says, leaning forward against his knees. Valentine shakes his head.

"I'm not gonna say one way or another, but nothing comes in or goes out of Diamond City without him knowing and there's no solid proof he had a hand in it. A corrupt politician isn’t something unheard of. You and I both know that. But the theories will have to take a chair for now. The security guard that was seen is currently stationed out at the gate tonight", he says as he looks over the clearly distressed mayor.

"A large container, huh? That's not soundin' too promising either, detective". The edge in his voice is very audible and Valentine can't help the discomfort he's feeling at the idea of what it'll be like being on the receiving end of his ire once he gets a hold of that guard.

"You know her better than that, Hancock. She's not giving up that easily, nor is she going to make it easy for them. I'm sure of it. Just...don't tell me what happens to that guard, alright?" he asks him and Hancock gives a nod, thinking to himself for a moment before standing up and sliding his mask back on.

"Ya know what? That's fair, Nicky. You did more than you had to and I ain't gonna forget that". He pats his shoulder. "Thanks. A lot. Now, if you'll excuse me, I believe they got somethin' of mine". Hancock doesn't see the confused look on Nick's face as he passes and by the time he realizes what exactly he means, he's already shutting the door behind him, heading back out to the gates of the city.

-

Getting the guard alone and subdued is light work for Hancock, leading them to their current situation, a nonchalant, unamused, unimpressed Hancock leaned against a wall while the guard in question struggles to calm down and mentally regroup as wooden splinters firmly jut from beneath his fingernails. He struggles against his binds but Hancock has him firmly bound to the chair and all he has done is tired himself out more.

"Now, let's try this one more time, brother. This time, without lyin' to me, yea?", he says, slowly strolling over to the man as he tosses the hammer aside onto the table he has set up. An array of different objects and weapons are strewn across the top, most of which were for intimidation, but Hancock is all too ready and willing to use everything he's got and even make things up if he has to. He takes a handful of the man's hair in hand and yanks his head back, forcing him to look up at him as he continues to sputter and whine.

"I-I s-swear I-I-I don't know wh-what you're talking about", he cries, his breathing ragged and rushed but Hancock shakes his head and sighs.

"See, I'm afraid I don't believe that, friend. And do you know why?" he asks, casually pulling his trusty knife from his pocket and dragging it against his cheek. The panicked guard looks from the knife to him and carefully shakes his head no.

"B-but I-"

CRACK

A bright red hand print quickly appears on his cheek and he yelps at the impact before once again being yanked into Hancock's line of sight.

"Before you even try to lie to me again, I'll tell you. I don't believe that because you were seen. Ain't that crazy?"

Hancock is toying with the man, but his patience is quickly wearing thin and his temper is getting the best of him because his knife soon begins to trace against the man's thigh.

"Now. I'mma share a little fun fact with you, brother. You're gonna love it, I learned it from Doctor Amari. Smart woman. Taught me a few interesting things here and there. Did you know that you have three arteries in your thigh that if cut, could cause you to bleed out and die? Wild stuff", he says, the tip of the blade resting above where his femoral artery would be found.

"W-w-wait! Waitwaitwait, j-just h-hold on-", the man quickly stutters out and Hancock smirks a bit, pocketing the knife.

"Well well well, looks like someone's ready to sing?" he says. The man struggles and whines, fighting between his brain and the pain and Hancock frowns and reaches down, tapping one of the splinters in farther and the man lets out a scream that bleeds into sobs.

"ALRIGHT ALRIGHT! YOU'RE RIGHT! WE TOOK HER!", he cries out, the tears mixing with sweat and blood. "We-we took her".

Hancock nods with a chuckle and pulls up a chair in front of him, flipping it around and seating himself, leaning against the back of it.

"Keep talkin', brother. Now, we're gettin' somewhere".

The man hiccups and sputters before catching his breath and swallowing.

"W-we were told t-to get h-her o-out of Diamond C-city. Stage i-it to look like a break i-in and s-sell her off to r-raiders head-ding out towards N-Nuka W-World", he manages to say. Hancock frowns.

"Keep goin'", he says, rising from his chair.

"M-Mayor McDonough d-didn't like wh-what sh-she was saying about h-him and thought sh-she w-would make people ch-change their minds about th-the anti-ghoul d-decree and start trying to m-motivate p-people t-to let ghouls a-and synths into the c-city, so he paid o-off some r-raiders to come in as a c-caravan to get h-her".

Hancock stands quietly for a long time, processing what he's heard while staring dead eyed at the man, making him begin to cry again until his footsteps make him look back up at him and when he sees the knife in his hand again, he begins to sob once more.

"I just got one more question for you, brother", Hancock says, once again pulling his head back by his hair and resting his blade against his adam's apple. The blank abyss of Hancock's eyes convinces the guard he's about to die and he can do nothing but cry, unable to break eye contact.

"Where. Is. My. Wife?!"

-

Her vision has been dark for a span of time she is unsure of and her head has been swimming so much, she only just realizes there's both a bag on her head and she's bound, her body uncomfortably scrunched up in something being carried. A pain shoots through her head and she feels something wet on her scalp that has managed to drip down to her eyelid, making her think to what happened before her current predicament, but her thoughts are cut short when she feels everything stop suddenly and muffled voices sound off around her. The darkness around her shifts and she feels herself getting pushed out of whatever it was she was contained in, a grunt leaving her as she hits the ground and pain racks through her body.

"Huh. This one seems a bit younger than the ones ya'll usually send our way", she hears one say before she's shifted up onto her knees and the bag on her head is yanked off, making her growl a bit before a hand catches her chin and pulls her to look forward, the frown on her face met by what she assumes is a raider in armor she's not seen before. Metal sheets fashioned into what could almost be considered plate armor sits latched onto what looks to actually be a nice suit beneath. Instead of the normal plaque mouthed, grimy raiders she's used to seeing, this one and his companions are actually quite clean and well put together, putting her more on edge than normal.

"Who the fuck are you?", she growls out, making the man smirk a bit.

"A bit foul mouthed but nothing we can't 'fix'", he says as his companion hands him what looks to be a collar over his shoulder and a panic sweeps over her as she looks around. A brahmin sits to the side, the container she's sure she was in open on it's side. It's night time and they're camped on the side of a road she can't readily see at the moment. "Now, hold still, dollface. This'll only take a moment", the raider says, reaching around her to put the collar on. She quickly lurches forward and headbutts him in his nose, a sickening crunch sounding off as they hear it break and he stumbles backwards, dropping the collar and holding his face. "You fuckin' BITCH!"

His companions go to hold her still and she rolls over to her back, managing to kick one in the gut before the other one manages to get around her kicking and hold her down as she keeps struggling.

"Fuckin' hold still, you little shit!", the raider gripes at her, punching her and busting her lip open. Blood begins spilling down her chin and once again, the collar comes back into view as they try to get it on her. "You make this harder than it needs to be and your life is gonna get way fuckin' harder than it needs to, got that?"

Panic takes her over as they try to once again latch the collar onto her and she jerks her head to the side, sinking her teeth into their hand as hard as she can. She can feel the skin beneath her teeth break under the pressure and the raider tries to shake her off, punching her in the head and yelling and when a molotov suddenly crashes against the back of the raider that took her out of Diamond City, everyone in the group is quickly armed as they look through the dark for the source of the explosive, leaving the flaming raider to fend for himself and fight off the fires on his own.

"Who the fuck is out there?!"

No response comes but another molotov soars through the air and cracks near the brahmin, scaring the beast and causing it to begin running in a panic. In it's frenzy to get away, it ploughs through the burning raider and tramples him, leaving him to bleed out and burn as it runs away and the rest of the raiders to scatter before a shot fires and one of the well dressed raiders hits the ground. The sudden shot is enough to distract them as Hancock quickly comes out from his hiding spot and swoops up behind the other, slicing their throat with alarming ease and catching the body to use as a shield once the other raiders realize he's there. They fire, riddling what would be there business associate with bullets before their rounds run dry and his shot gun blasts through ones chest while a shot from nearby takes out the other beside them. Behind them, Doll's teeth remain clamped into the last raider's hand and she's wrapped her legs around them, keeping them from running away. Witnessing their companions die, they struggle to escape but Doll manages to make sure they go nowhere as Hancock makes his way over, picking up the collar on the ground along the way.

"W-wait! You win! Just-just let me go!", he yells. Hancock says nothing, looking down at the state of his friend. She's bloody, beaten, and currently in a state of panicked frenzy. Fight or flight. She chose fight. He looks down at the collar in his hand and at the raider, who is stuck in place both by Doll and fear and he lets his feelings take over for a moment, locking the collar around the raider's neck despite how they struggle against him. "Wait! You don't know what this does! You can't do this!"

The raider's words fall on deaf ears and Hancock wraps his arm around their neck, knife in hand as he looks at Doll and reaches down to her, gently brushing his thumb against her jaw.

"Let go, sunshine. I gotcha", he says, his tone calm and kind to her, contrasting his actions. Her heavy breaths settle and she unlatches from the raider, both her blood and theirs mixing on her teeth. They attempt to struggle again but his arm tightens and the tip of his knife presses their jugular vein and they stop, shaking.

"You can't do this! Y-you don't know what this collar does-"

"Bullshit", he cuts them off with a scoff, picking them up and flinging them to the ground with his one arm as he picks up the remote that had fallen from their pocket. "You think I don't know a fuckin' bomb when I see one?"

They look up at him, not sure what else to do as they get back on their feet and begin running. He lets them get a little distance before rolling his eyes and hitting the detonator, their head disappearing suddenly into a fine red mist. The remote is thrown off to the side while Valentine makes his way from his point of cover to join them, Hancock already making quick work of her bindings. She rubs her wrists and wipes the blood from her chin before her eyes come up to meet his as he kneels down to her, brushing her hair from her face to assess the wounds.

"Like I said. She wasn't gonna make it easy for them", Nick says, looking at the mess left behind. Hancock chuckles a bit and shakes his head, carefully helping her stand up with him and pulling her to lean against his taller frame. His hold on her starts off gentle but slowly tightens more and more as the relief of her being safe hits him and the stress of the situation finally settles. Her face pushes against his chest and into the familiar red of his jacket while his leans down into her black hair.

"I'm sorry I didn't make it sooner, sister", he says, a slight waver in his voice. "I never woulda thought McDonough would've had the stones to do some underhanded shit like this. I swear when we get back-", but she shakes her head, stopping him.

"No. Don't", she says. His eyes glance down to her and a frown settles on his features.

"Doll, he set you up to be kidnapped and sold to raiders in fuckin' Nuka World-"

"He's also the mayor of a large town in the commonwealth and I'm fairly certain this was set up in a manner that leaves little to no evidence behind proving he did any of that. We can't stir the pot like that just yet, or it'll have a repercussion we're not ready to face. Too many people still support him and with everyone knowing my opinions, they're gonna just think I'm causing trouble".

Valentine frowns, looking up at them from his cigarette before shaking his head.

"She's right. McDonough has too much of a faithful following. We'd just be rattling the cage", he says, a clear note of disappointment in his voice. Hancock growls quietly to himself, knowing they're right.

"Besides, I'm pretty sure him seeing I'm still around and escaped will be enough of a message to him to watch his next steps", she says in an attempt to reassure him. He looks down at her for a moment, the frown still fixed to his face but he soon slowly nods to her.

"Alright, sunshine. We'll play it your way. For now", he says, simply holding her for the moment.

-

It goes without saying they don’t go anywhere near Diamond City as they walk away from said tussle. Nick follows along with them to Goodneighbor to make sure they make it back safely.

“I appreciate the help, Nicky”, Hancock says, shaking his hand at the door of the state house. He shakes his head.

“Of course. Anytime”. He breathes out a cloud of smoke and thinks for a moment before he looks back up at him. “Before I go…I gotta ask…the guard…is he…”

Hancock shakes his head no.

“He’s alive. Can’t promise he’s the same or that he’ll ever be the same anymore, but he’s alive. Should be back in Diamond City by now, if he went back”. He’s very detached and nonchalant about the man he tortured only hours ago and Nick raises a brow.

“Can’t really say you have any regrets about it, can you?” He pokes and Hancock simply shrugs.

“Shoulda kept his hands off my wife. Anyway, be safe gettin’ back”, he says, heading inside to tend to Doll’s wounds.

Confusion briefly washes over the synth detective but once he gives it a moment of thought, he simply chuckles and begins his trek back to Diamond City.

-

It’s late into the night by the time Hancock settles down and Doll is passed out, her head rested in his lap as they take up the couch together. His hand gently rubs against her hair and scalp while his mind wanders, a canister of jet in his opposite palm as he thinks.

He said it. Twice today. Said it and meant it and didn’t feel weird about it at all.

Wife.

He was never one to settle down or dedicate to just one person.

But…

This was different. Had been since they agreed to start traveling together like this. And the idea didn’t seem like a loss of freedom. Just felt like the idea of having someone to be free with.

His eyes look down towards her and fall on her left hand rested in front of her face. The pale tan line wrapped around her finger where her wedding band used to sit.

He wonders if perhaps he could ever put something in it’s place.

———

I’ve been sitting on this one for a hot minute, I’ve just been disgustingly busy but I loved this so much 😩

🖤🖤🖤

-Hancock’s Spouse

[hungermakesmonsters]

Hiii congrats on 500 I love your fics!!! Could you do sth where the reader and Billy actually meet in the marines ? Like the reader is a marine as well and Billy her lieutenant or even the other way around ? Thank youuu❤️ (submitted by @dorita06)

Aaaaaaah okay, so little known fact about me, I kind of love the soldier/medic trope in fiction, so rather than writing reader as a soldier herself, I went with making her a medic (hope that's ok!!) I had a lot of fun with this one, so I hope you like it! 😅

Stolen Moments

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : M 

Warnings : [This is 18+ only, minors DNI] Smutty behaviour.  

"I take it I don't have to explain how to look after your stitches?" You asked, eyeing the lieutenant as he shrugged his shirt back on and got to his feet.

As he stood, you found yourself tilting your head back to look at him, knowing all too well what came next. (At least, hoping you knew what came next.)

"Dunno, Doc, think I might need you to explain it to me one more time," he said as he reached for you, his fingers softly brushing against your neck.

You leaned into his touch, lifting yourself on your tiptoes as he slowly started to close the distance between you.

"Did you bang your head, Lieutenant Russo? Because this is the fifth time I've given you stitches and had to explain the proper aftercare procedure," you said, your voice getting softer as his lips got closer to yours. "Maybe I should talk to your CO, get you taken off active duty, so I can keep you here and... assess you."

Billy smiled that same smile he had the first time you'd met him, months ago in that very tent. He'd been bleeding then too, but he'd been more concerned with trying to get your name than the fact he'd needed stitches.

Of course, you'd tried to refuse him at first, tried to ignore the way that damned smile sent a bolt of arousal through you, not wanting to do anything to put your career in jeopardy. But the third time your paths had crossed, the first time he'd dared to kiss you, you were a goner.

Now, you'd lost count of how many times he'd ended up in the medical tent, needing to be patched up — sometimes for serious reasons and other times for reasons he claimed were serious just to get your attention — and how many times that had ended with him inside of you, giving you the best damned sex of your life.

Finally, his lips met yours and everything felt right in the world. He stepped forward and you stepped back, a hand behind you, feeling for the solid form of your desk.

He winced as he lifted you onto the desk. A small grunt of pain escaped him but, when you tried to pull back to check if he was alright, his fingers slipped into your hair, holding you in the kiss.

Instinctively, you parted your legs, letting him step between them, pressing his body close to yours. It was a familiar dance and you both knew the steps by heart. Your fingers tugged at his fatigues, while his pulled at yours, neither breaking the kiss or coming up for air for even a second.

You both knew that you were on borrowed time and that, at any moment, someone could rush in needing your assistance or need Billy to return to duty.

It was dangerous and stupid, something that could potentially spell then end of both of your careers, but you couldn't help it. You wanted him, needed him in a way that didn't make sense to you. And, no matter how many times you did this, no matter how many times you patched him up or he slipped into your tent after curfew, you knew that you'd never have enough of him.

And, as your hand slipped into his fatigues tograsp his already hard cock, you knew he felt exactly the same way.

"Lieutenant Russo," you murmured against his lips. "I'm starting to think you're getting injured on purpose just so you can come see me."

Billy grinned against your lips, kissing you again instead of answering your accusation. It was probably better that way — the last thing you wanted was thoughts of him being seriously hurt in your head, especially while you were stroking his cock.

A laugh slipped out as he tugged your pants down your legs and almost managed to pull you off the desk with them. That was your cue to lower his combat pants, pushing them down to his thighs.

He stepped forward, clearing the distance, and you had to bite your lip to hold back a moan when you felt the tip of his cock against you.

"Can't wait 'til we're stateside again," he muttered, reaching between your bodies to tease his cock between your folds. "Be able to take my time with you then."

You felt your lips pull into a ridiculous smile, the same way that they always did whenever he spoke about going home, about still wanting you after all the shit was over an you were both back home.

Still, you couldn't help but tease him.

"Who says I'm gonna waste my time on a jarhead like you when I'm back home?" You asked.

"Allow me to persuade you."

"Go on then, I'm all ears, tell me why I should —"

Before you could finish, Billy pushed forward, notching his cock into you, filling you in one smooth movement. You bit down harder on your lip, your hands grasping his fatigues.

"Fuck," you moaned as a familiar feeling of ecstasy took hold.

"Persuaded yet?"

"Yes — fuck, yes —" you gasped as he started to draw his hips back, setting a steady rhythm.

He kissed you again, swallowing down the moans that tried to escape you while using your lips to muffle his own desperate noises. His hands gripped you, holding you tight, clinging to you like you were the only stable thing in his world, and you loved it. You loved how he made you feel in those moments, kissing you, holding you, fucking you.

But it couldn't last. While you wanted to enjoy it, you both knew that, at any moment, you could be discovered.

He gripped your hip as he upped the tempo, driving you closer and closer to insanity with each rough thrust. You back arched and you writhed on the edge of the desk, completely losing yourself to him and the way he made you feel.

You gasped and panted and whined against his lips, every snap of his hips causing arousal to burn hotter in your belly, every fibre of your being coiling tighter, like a spring desperate to be released.

"Lieutenant — fuck, Billy —" you managed before being pulled back into another kiss.

He grunted against your lips as the last of his self-control seemed to disappear. You loved the moments when he lost control, when he lost his mind over you. His fingers gripped your bare hip tight enough to leave bruises — replacements for the ones that had started to fade since your last tryst.

The desk creaked and the metal legs scraped against the concrete floor, but all you could think was more, more, more. After months of snatched moments like this, you'd found yourself addicted to him, desperate for him in a way you'd never know with any other man.

As he fucked you and stole your breath away, you felt a crescendo building, a wave of pleasure that was going to drowned you.

Your fingers damn near ripped his shirt as you started to come, clinging to him for dear life.

His grip on your hair tightened, keeping his lips sealed over your as you tried to cry out his name. A few more enthusiastic thrusts later and he followed you over the edge and into oblivion, holding you just as tightly as you were holding him.

He pressed his face against your neck, panting for breath, his cock still inside you, still twitching as his orgasm ebbed away.

Moments like this were the ones that made you wonder if he meant it, if he really did want to see you again once you were both back home and the desert was in the rear-view. But you didn't dare ask — you never asked, because you weren't sure how you'd feel if/when it all turned out to be lies.

You weren't naïve enough not to see what this probably was; you were one of the few women on base and it was very clear that Lieutenant Russo had needs. And you? What you needed was something to keep you sane and, somehow, that had become him.

Tenderly you ran your fingers through his hair as you both caught your breath then, reluctantly, he pulled away.

[stargirlbabies]

Can I ask for a smutty request were JJ and reader are parents to a little boy (imagine JJ being a boy dad😭), but one day the little boy throws a typical tantrum and is a bit rude to reader, and JJ is automatically "hey!" standing in front of the boy with a very serious expression "now listen little man, she's your mama but that's my wife you're talking to. Now say sorry to your mama, and I don't wanna listen to you being rude to her again"

And reader watching educate their son and stand up for her makes her... Turned on?

Yes, I loved this concept. Also, I love requests. If you have any more, send them my way, please. Thank you.

Cw. Smut,

"RYDER!" you yell, chasing after your three-year-old, who had covered himself in paint and was running around the house. "GET BACK HERE!" you say, running past JJ.

"Whoa, where's the fire?" JJ asks, smiling. "Ryder covered himself in paint and is touching everything," you say, running towards Ryder, who picked up a toy car and threw it at you, hitting your arm.

"Ryder, no throwing things," you say as Ryder begins throwing toys and screaming, hitting you in the eye with a toy train track. "OW!"

"OKAY, THAT'S IT," JJ yells as you look at him. "NOW, LITTLE MAN, YOU MAY THINK IT'S OKAY TO HIT YOUR MAMA, BUT IT'S NOT, BECAUSE NOT ONLY IS SHE A WOMAN, BUT SHE'S ALSO MY WIFE, AND NO ONE HITS MY WIFE AND GETS AWAY WITH IT. NOW APOLOGISE TO YOUR MOTHER RIGHT NOW," JJ yells, punishing Ryder.

Ryder looks sad as he apologises. You pick Ryder up, putting him in the bathtub. "Grab him clothes, please," you ask JJ, "and ask John B if he can stay the night." JJ nods, grabbing the clothes and calling John B as you clean Ryder.

Jj comes in as you were dressing ryder. "John B and Sarah can take Ryder for the night." You smile. "Great! I'll pack a bag, and then we can go to John B's," you say, quickly dressing Ryder before packing a bag with his stuff.

As you put Ryder in the car, JJ smiles, asking, "Why do you want a night alone?" You close the car door before answering away from Ryder's ears.

"You defended me earlier against our kid, so I'm giving you another," you say, smirking. JJ smirks in response before you both get in the car, driving to John B and Sarah's.

As you approach, John B is standing outside; you grab Ryder as JJ grabs Ryder's stuff.

"Hey buddy," John B says as you and JJ approach. "I'm gonna put him inside," you say as you hear JJ describe Ryder's terror tantrum.

Once Sarah takes him, you leave the house dragging JJ back to the car, trying to ignore the growing wetness in between your legs.

As you and JJ arrive home, you rush into your room, stripping quickly as JJ takes off his pants. Revealling, his long, girthy cock, you push him onto the bed before lowering yourself onto his hard member, bouncing up and down as your ass hits his legs when JJ flips you around, pushing himself deep into you.

"Gonna fill you with my cum; you look hottest when full," you hear JJ say as you force his hands around your throat.

When JJ begins choking you, you cum hard. JJ smirks before rutting into you, "Shut up, you stupid whore, and take it," JJ says in response to your incoherent babbles and moaning.

Jj cums in you, filling you up before going to the kitchen to grab you both water. "Hey baby, I hope I didn't go too hard on you, sweetheart," JJ says, walking back in with two water bottles and a dry cloth that he goes to the bathroom to wet. "It was great, JJ," you say as he comes back in, beginning to clean you up.

"I didn't know you liked getting choked; that was new," JJ says, laughing to himself.

"Yeah, I don't know what came over me," you say as JJ smiles before fully cleaning you up, grabbing pyjamas for you that consist of Hello Kitty patterned shorts and a white oversized shirt and grabbing himself pyjama bottoms.

Jj locks your front door, and you lock your back door before you doze off going to sleep.

[lost-in-fiction-like-ur-mom]

Okay!!! So I love dae ho because he's like the sweetest guy ever and if he dies I will kms. But I was wondering if you could make an X reader where the reader has a bubbly personality and shares food with dae ho. I just think that would be so adorable. And it can be gender neutral I don't mind!!! Thank you!!! Have a good day!!

Food for Thought?

KANG DAE-HO X READER

Summary- Just as the request asks, Reader and Dae-Ho share food after one of the games, rekindling. Perchance someone is asked out >:)

Warnings- Squid Games, murder, and death

A/N- I know I have been MIA for a while, I'm so sorry guys! It's been difficult to write lately, especially with my schedule. I hope this one delivers, and hold you guys over until the next fic!

Word Count- 1,047

"What'cha thinking?" You ask player 388 as you flopped down next to him on a bed. He was sat at the edge, nervously picking at his food.

His head jerked up at your sudden movement, but he softened upon seeing your smile. You didn't blame him for being twitchy. The last game was a close one... Mingle would have left you for dead if Dae-Ho hadn't grabbed you last second for '2'.

"Ah, not much."

------------------------------------------

The door let out a noise as the lock clicked. The two of you were safe... "Dae-Ho... You saved me!" You gave him no time to think, you jumped up and wrapped your arms around his neck. A thankful hug that lasted longer than 'friends' would have let it.

His own arms wrapped around you waist, he held you tight. You could practically feel his heart rate beat against you. His heart was racing, as was yours. The two of you stood together, bodies pressed against each other's.

"Thank you..." You whispered in his neck. When you heard the voice announce '2', you panicked thinking Dae-Ho had went with Jun-Hee. But he didn't, he ran from behind you and grasped your forearm. You had no choice but to run with him.

He nodded back in response, you felt his head move. At that you pulled back. Just enough to see his face, but keep your arms around his neck.

------------------------------------------

You sat criss-crossed on your legs, turned to face him. "Oh come on, I can see it on your face. Your mind must be running so fast."

He continued to pick at his food, a complete opposite from any other meal time. He was always the first to finish, eager to eat.

"How about this," You sat up straight, ready to present your idea. You pretended to 'set the scene' pushing your hands out. You dramatically looked around, then leaned in close to him.

"I will offer your ONE of my gimbap rolls, if you tell me..." You side-eyed him, waiting for his response.

You could tell he was fighting a smile, but he shook his head. "No way, only one? That's like one bite for someone like me!"

With a laugh and raised eyebrows, "Someone like you? What's that supposed to mean." You asked, comically.

He 'Hmphed' and raised up his sleeve. "A marine! We need good food, and lots of it to stay bulked."

A loud laugh left your lips, and you quickly covered it with your hands. A smirk and a shake of your head later, you found yourself pretending to think. A finger on your chin, humming, the whole shebang. "Fine, TWO rolls. That's my final offer." You crossed your arms, looking serious.

He simply grinned and eyed you, holding eye contact. You blinked, but he continued to stare. Your shoulders dropped. "Three?"

The sides of his lips turned up into a full smile now, "Deal, but I get to eat first!" You raised a fist in triumph, "Okay, okay!"

You unwrapped the tinfoil on your gimbap, opening it so the two of you could share. Ironically, he ignored his own wrap and reached for one of your rolls first. He delicately picked it up, but didn't eat it.

He instead raised it to your lips, "Dae-Ho it's for you." You giggled out.

"Hey, you never said I had to eat it. Here, you need it just as much as I do." You couldn't fight him, and simply took a bite from the piece he had. You laughed with a full mouth as you tried to pick up any falling crumbs.

He shoved the rest of the roll into his mouth, but not before joining your laugh.

"Ugh, I'm a mess sorry." He shook his head at your words, "No, no you're really not..." His words were sweet laced and genuine.

He again looked into your eyes, but it wasn't playful anymore. It was lovingly, in admiration. Your cheeks began to ache with how big you were smiling. Your face must have been beet red.

"So, hows it taste?" He asked. "Uh, Kinda dry if I'm being honest.." He only snorted, agreeing.

The two of you went on like that, practically feeding each other Gimbap. You even managed to sneak a roll or two from his own wrap. He noticed, but didn't mind.

You both joked and teased each other, nothing but carefree conversation. He seemed much more relaxed and happier.

You were unaware that you had moved closer to him, your sides touching now. It was comforting.

At the last bite, Dae-Ho swiped his hands together, clapping them to get any left seasoning off. With a sigh, he slouched down slightly.

"Dae-Ho we don't need to talk about it if you don't want to..." You didn't want to intrude, truly it was none of your business.

"No, its okay. I guess I was just thinking about what I'm going to do after all this. Assuming, ya know, we get out of here." His grim comment made your body give a shiver.

"Well, what are your plans?" You pressed further, now more interested.

He fiddled with his fingers, "It's stupid." he shook his idea away. "No, whatever it is- its not."

Nodding, he responded. "Well, I'd probably finally get up the courage to ask someone out. A nice place, though I'd most likely still make a fool of myself. I just want to make someone feel special." He laughed his own remark off, rubbing the back of his neck.

"You'd be perfect, Dae-Ho. That sounds so lovely.. Who's this lucky person?" You had butterflies in your stomach, hoping and wishing that person was you.

His head slowly rose to look at you, his blush darkened. Your grin widened. "Of course I'd go out with you, the first day we get out of here, i'm all yours..."

"Really?" His hands quickly held yours, though still lightly.

"Yes really, you're the sweetest guy I've ever met Dae-Ho.." His grip tightened.

"I promise, if we get out of here I'll give you the best date ever.." He was giddy just thinking about it, now planning what exotic places to take you and show you off.

"When, when we get out of here." You leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips.

A/N- Not my fav post about him, but I enjoyed writing it! I will try my very hardest to get a Nam-Gyu fic out this week as well! Please lmk if it felt rushed, or if you have any tips for me!

Dae-Ho Taglist- @fuzzyscissorsmakerpie-blog @thethreeeyed-raven @ashgonedash @plntmxrss @blueberry--lemon @kisara-16 @meiisamotherbitch @fallout-girl219 @takuma-talkz @sshwaa @galactict3a @skeeterbutt @ashiinxq

[princess-charlie-of-hell]

honestly the show should have gotten charlie to put her foot down and tell her dad that he can't permanently stay in the hotel because 1. He's literally the king of hell, any potential residents might be scared shitless of his presence and drive them away, 2. Again, he's the king of Hell, he has a job to do, running Hell, that he didn't do correctly cause he's been stuck making rubber duckies. I know he's in a state of depression due to Lilith's absence and it's reasonable that he's not in the right place but it's not an excuse to ignore his duty to fuck around the hotel and make his daughter, who he neglected for a long time, uncomfortable. He's a grown adult, I'm not gonna baby him because of his condition (unlike the majority of the fandom cuz he's their poor sad uwu baby 😒) and neither should Charlie. Forgiveness doesn't happen overnight, if Lucifer wants to do right for Charlie, then he should get off his sorry ass, take responsibility by being an actual king and help Charlie in any way he can while giving her the space she needs.

Hardly agree, I don't think that Lucifer living in the there is neither good for the hotel or his relationship with Charlie

Like you already he said he could scare potentially residents away and I think people there could be uncomfortable with having the literally highest ranked person living there, like image being an ordinary person and the king of England is living in the same hotel as you

Also Lucifer and Charlie barely had contact for 7 years and then suddenly living together again? Like the hotel is huge but it is still a huge change living in the same building as your parents. I have a good relationship with my parents and still live home with them but i image after not living together with them for years and then suddenly moving back together would definitely cause some problems

Was there even a conversation between them where the two talked about how it would be when Lucifer lives there or did he decided it by himself to move there and didn't even ask her? We didn't saw anything in the show, so i could image both happening

How he handled his duties in the 7 years is something i ask myself, I don't image that he took care of them in himself so did he told someone to do it for him? We see in Helluva boss that Satan took practically over as the boss in court but i don't think he took any other Tasks from Lucifer at least nothing we know about. And we know that Satan uses his absent to tell lies, like that he ruled before Lucifer so that kind of backfired

Like the other sins probably rule their specific rings themselves without Lucifer, i can also image that before Liliths disappearances she ruled over pride ring with Lucifer and took care of the sinners there as we see that Lucifer didn't really seem to care about them

I personally believe that the ars goetias and Overlords also have a huge influence in pride. I personally headcanon that Paimon took over many of Lucifer's tasks as in the mythology he was describing as his most loyal servant (off topic but why isn't there more fanart of Paimon x Lucifers this is the real old man yaoi and not RA) and is the only "King" from the goetias we see in hellaverse

That with babying of Lucifer is something i agree especially that in my opinion Charlie forgave him too fast but that probably was because of the fast pacing of the show. But i don't really want to criticized him too much because of his depressions because i am not an expert in it and don't want to say anything wrong. One thing which annoys me is just when people use the excuse that he is too hurt because of Lilith disappearance and there for completely blameless for his bad relationship with Charlie and blame anything on her and ignore the fact that She was Charlie's mother and Charlie is hurt too

But in the end i don't think that it is going to be a problem in the show, simple because the writers won't probably make it one. Like i think they want Lucifer too bad to be part of the main cast and will ignore the theoretically problems which he could bring with him. Why focusing on the female characters of the main cast who didn't had much spotlight in the first season, just let us add a new male one who will steal the spotlight from them anyway especially his daughter, remember Charlie? The actually protagonist of the show!

Like we will have 3 woman in the main cast (Charlie, Vaggie and Nifty) and 6 men (Alastor, Angel dust, Husk, Lucifer Baxter and Sir pentious). It are double so many man than women there. At least i think it was said that Baxter probably will take over Sir pentious place in the hotel and that pentious background how he ended up in hell will be showed. Remember when people said that helluva boss is a male lead show and Hazbin hotel a female lead one?

[tttt06]

Follow My Lead

Word count- 7.3k

UnexperiencedReader x IdolJeongin

Both are in the military.

Synopsis~ 

Y/N is a veteran of the Army; she's been there since she was 18. She lost a friend a couple of years back, and she's never been the same.

Her sergeant assigns her to silently watch over the smiley boy because everyone can tell he's too friendly.

I mean, Jeongin's new. And he's a K-pop Idol. Some K-pop guy again. You're not even from Korea. You wouldn't know. 

He's so comforting and soft with you. Even though you're his superior, somehow you follow his lead.

!Warning! Y/N refers to Jeongin as Yang. The two of them are (Kinda) enemies to lovers. Y/N is also in a higher rank than I.N. Also, Jeongin is kinda a freak and horny. He likes that she is his boss, but he likes making her submissive. Also, this is from a view of a black reader the word 'nigga' is used like three times

"L/N! Stop with the Alpha Charlie and get to work!" I bit my lip and stayed silent as I tightened my grip on the weapon. I've been in the military since I was 18 years old. I'm about to turn 23 soon, and once again, I'll be spending it in a country I'm not from.

I'm from the States. I joined the military because I had no other option. Free living, free food, free friends, and a good job. 

I was a high ranker, but I didn't let that go around as known. Most people underestimate me, and those who know how high I'm ranked don't say much.

"Uhm, Sarg, Commander wants to see you." I looked at Nigel. He had a faint smirk. "The fuck you do? Hm?" I got up with a huff, "Respect your officer." 

I walked to the commander's office, and knocked, "It's L/N." He answered quietly, "Come in." I walked into the office and saluted, "Yes, sir, how can I help you?" He sighed, "Sit the hell down, Sarg." 

I relaxed in the seat. "I have a new assignment for you. We have a couple newbies coming in, and they need training. You're our lead trainer." 

I sighed, "Sir, I declined the offer years ago. I'm just a Spec." He shook his head, "You've been E6 for a while. You're taking this job."

I tried to stay respectful, but it fell apart. "Don't you think it's a little odd how quickly I became an E6?" He let out a long sigh, "Sarg, you saved our country from a terrorist attack. Of course, it's strange. You need to start doing your duties. Now, I assigned you to take care of Private Yang."

I crossed my arms, "Sir-" He closed his eyes quickly, cutting me off with a swift hand motion. "Kid. No professional bullshit right now, you have to listen. You're forcing my hand. The Colonel is asking me why you haven't fulfilled a single duty I put on you. I can't tell him you ignore his direct orders. I've never asked of you... but you're risking mine and your own neck."

I leaned back in the chair and thought to myself. I was starting to feel the weight of my title crash on me. 

"Fuck. Fine. But just Private Yang. Ask Sergeant Surtees to train the rest of the faction." 

He went quiet before he asked, "Are you doing alright?" I stood up, "You know what happened last time I trained privates. You also know the answer to that question." I walked out of the office to go for a walk on base. 

I had to attend back to my post in about ten minutes. I just needed time to think.

The next day, I was at the office I hadn't been to in almost a year.  It was dusty and messy. The last time I was here, I had a breakdown. Being here was something I never thought I'd do. Yet, here I am. I was coming to pick up my files.

I hadn't trained in two years, so I forgot how to. I had to go back to my notes to see what to get.

I sat in the chair and spun. The squeak sent a shiver down my spine. A flash went through my head.

That day was hard to remember. The loud explosion as I screamed out to my comrade. 

The sound of it imploding on the swing as the rubber seat flew into the air. 

He laid in pieces as chunks of guts and blood pooled on the mulch. The sound of the swing creaking back and forth kept me breathing. A day hard to forget.

A hand waved in my face. I was met with this smiley face. "H-hi." 

My eye twitched, "Yang! You call me Sarg! You approach me as such. You never start a sentence with Hi, you understand me?" The younger boy's smile dropped. "Yes, Sarg." I stood up and said, "We're going to the training grounds, and you're going to do 50 rounds of 10 push-ups."

I looked at him with serious eyes. He ran to the training grounds and began immediately. 

I screamed for about four hours. When Yang stood again, I shouted, "NOW DO FIVE LAPS AROUND THE ENTIRE BASE."

Yang got to running. I sighed while sitting on the floor. I watched my higher-up walk over to me. "Surtees." He laughed, "I haven't seen you train in a long time." I laughed, "I know. Just doing what I'm forced to." 

We talked as we looked over his trainees. Surtees asked, "How long you think he'll make it for?" I shrugged, "He's too smiley, I give him a week. He'll crack." 

Surtees asked, leaning over, "You heard what he did before this?" I looked at him, "He was in the Stray Kids group. He's the youngest." I watched as my trainee was running back from behind the building. 

"You serious?" "Hella." 

My eye twitched again. "I'm dealing with a stuck-up princess then." 

I saw how focused Jeongin was as he ran for the next lap. He wasn't fucking around. 

I did have doubts about his abilities, but he seemed athletic enough.

It had been a week of training. Yang learned to shoot, he learned to run, and he learned to listen.

He picked up on it quickly. His only issue was he was a horrible yeller. 

The kid couldn't respond loud and confident for his life. I was back in my office with a new chair. I asked Commander to get me a new one because the squeaking triggered me.

I had repainted the walls to a pastel green, and the office was decorated with my interest. I was lost in paperwork.

I've done my research on Yang. He's very quiet with his group. He's seen as adorable and thick-skinned. 

It rings true. Yang is resilient...somewhere, but he needs support to stay strong. The boy is probably one of the best when thinking of rookies.

However, I got an email from the colonel. He wanted me to go on a solo mission with Yang for a teaching lesson.

When it came to training, I was the best. Commander still doesn't know much about my past, even before the military, but he knows I'm tough.

I'm tough on everyone I love and hate. That's because I care.

After I completed my office work, I moved to packing up my bags. 

We were to leave tomorrow. I sent one of the trainees to get Yang for me and waited to give him the news. 

"Sarg." I motioned toward the door with my head. "Close it." He closed the door and saluted me. "Sit and relax." 

Though it's horrible, I often let my trainees relax. They're supposed to be soldiers, but nobody can hold a cold face.

"Yang, we have been ordered by the colonel to go on a mission. Can you handle it?" He raised an eyebrow, "What's gonna happen?" 

I blinked at him, "Well, we do a perimeter check and watch. Something could be found." 

He looked confused, "Well, why?" I sighed, "There was a shooting. We're in Korea. We're being sent to keep a special look-out at the crime scene. It might be... a terrorist attack."

His eyes widened, "A gun?" I nodded, "We're being sent out tomorrow. Pack your bags. Be up and ready by 7 o'clock sharp."

He nodded, and I excused him.

I left my room to see Yang already outside. I followed behind him, "Yah! you're early." He saluted, "Yes, I am, Sarg." I let out a small laugh and packed my bags into the trunk.

Yang got into the driver's seat and put his seatbelt on. "You don't wanna stop by anywhere for something to eat?"

He looked at me and read my facial expression. "You're hungry. What do you want to eat?" I felt my face flare with heat. I turned the other way in embarrassment. "I want..." His sigh broke the tension, "Yes?" 

I continued while looking out the window, "I want Chik-Fil-A." He smiled, "We don't have that in Korea. We'll get something else."

I shyly proposed, "Some ramen then."

That was odd. I'm usually not shy like that, but when Yang had the strange dominance over me... I felt something.

He told me I was hungry and asked me where I wanted to eat. That was so hot.

I hadn't spoken the whole ride. Yang turned something on in me. 

I had cornered myself close to the door, squeezed my thighs together, and hadn't turned to him.

Ordering food was what broke the silence. As we ate in the car, Yang started asking me personal questions. Ones I shouldn't answer, but he's just a kid.

"So, your family supported your career?" I swallowed my noodles, "The bills needed to be paid." He looked at me, and there was this glint.

"...Sarg." I confusedly stared at him. His hand reached for my cheek, and I felt his thumb rub across it. 

"You had sauce on your cheek." I looked down at my bowl of ramen. "Thanks." 

Fuck, why did I want him to kiss me?

He continued asking questions. "So, you got a boyfriend or something?" I only glanced at him, "No, never have." 

He smiled, and a chuckle left his chest, "You embarrassed about that?" I sighed, "I... almost did... something happened." 

He ate his kimbap, "What?" My lips moved to a lopsided smile, "He died." 

Yang calmly put his food down. "Why do you always have to be so depressing?" My eyes widened in shock, "Excuse you!" He raised his eyebrows, "Look, you're young! Your life sucks, your friends died! But they wouldn't want you to be grumpy all the time."

"I don't deserve to be happy." His hand landed on my shoulder, "Yes, you do." 

He looked into my eyes. They were so free and genuine. 

I looked away. "Yeah." I had nothing else to say. 

I always forget he's older than me. He's a smiley person and has a younger aura about him. He's so mature and is holding onto this life pretty well.

I huffed, "I'm supposed to be your sergeant. Not your friend." He smiled while he laughed through his nose, "You can be both." 

He put both his hands on the wheel and began to drive off.

When we arrived, we were immediately directed to the crime scene.

A tarp covered the dead body, but not the pool of blood. Yang only looked at me in concern as I reached for his hand.

He entangled his fingers with mine and squeezed. 

I can't do this. I can't... I feel like I'm right back.

I let go and walked off. I felt like I was suffocating. The smell of blood, the quietness, the body... I couldn't take it.

As my chest ran out of breath, I caught myself wishing for Yang. My hands instinctively grabbed my chest as I tried to find the air.

I cried, "Fuck." 

There was silence before a voice behind me made me jump. Yang's eyes followed mine with concern. "Hey, hey, hey. You okay?" I nodded and pushed him away. "I- I can't take this." 

He rubbed the back of his head, "I get it." He grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the bench. 

"Can we look at the cloud together?" I just nodded along, barely hearing what he asked. I looked up at the morning sky and felt my air return to my lungs.

I felt so small. 

Yang still hadn't let go of my hand. "Your thoughts feel clearer?" I looked down to see him staring. "Yeah... they did." He only smiled, "I won't make you talk about it. I have a member from my group, Han... he has anxiety too." 

I looked down and played with his hand, "It's more like PTSD. I can't see blood or hear that squeak sound... It just reminds me of that day." 

He only listened. "He was my comrade, my friend. The love of my life all at once. I didn't follow orders. My commander told me to stand down. Only one guy was left. At least, that's what we thought. My comrade said two against one was too easy. We ran in, but... he ended up dying. There were four guys in there. I killed them all, yet my comrade still died."

Yang let go of my hand and grabbed my whole body. He scooped me up into a warm embrace. I felt safe in his arms.

"You're with me now." I nodded.

We stayed there in silence. I eventually worked up the courage to go back.

We were there all night and were both too tired to drive back. I ended up getting us a one-bedroom. Two beds in one room. It was an overnight stay, and we'd be up and back on our way that morning. 

I let my commander know we'd be back late. When we got to the room, I smacked right on the bed. "Be up by 7."

I didn't hear a response, but I went straight to sleep.

I woke up in a sweat. I shot up and felt my lungs gasping for air. "Sergeant?" I turned to the other bed to see Yang fully awake. 

"Ah, sorry." He turned on the bedside lamp. "come here." He flipped the cover over in an inviting manner. 

I sat on my bed for a moment, thinking. 

Is this okay? He's my subordinate... But I need to sleep.

I sighed and got up. I walked over to Yang's bed, and he pulled me closer. His warm breath tickled my ear, "Sleep well." 

When I woke up, my cheek was squished against his chest, and his hand held onto my shoulder. My hand lifted me from his chest. 

His eyes opened sharply. I smiled, "It's just me." He smiled and swooped a loc from my face. He tucked it behind my ear, "Good morning." 

I felt my heart tingle. I pushed away, "Get ready. I'll drive us back." I slammed the door shut and walked to the convenience store. 

No way am I falling for a subordinate. Not happening. The last time I fell for someone here, they died. Plus, he's an idol... he won't be able to make this public.

I grabbed the convenience store food and went to pay for it. The cashier mentioned, "You look upset." I looked up at him. "I am." He smiled, "Maybe a stranger could help."

I huffed, "I'm his boss. I like him." He looked at me with shock, "Oh... well." 

I gave him a defeated smile, "I told you so. I'm hopeless." There was a silence before he just responded, "Hey, you never know... You know Blackpink?" 

I gave him a blank stare, "Nigga... I speak Korean fluently. What are you trying to say?" "You never know until you try." 

I laughed, "That's not what the song is about." He shrugged, "I don't listen to them." My eye twitched, "I can tell. Thanks for the useless advice."

I walked out with my bag of supplies and back to the hotel. Yang was walking out. "Yah, I got us food." 

I handed him the bag, "How'd you know... you got all my favorite stuff." I shrugged, "Just eat." I got in the car, and the first thirty minutes were quiet. 

That was until Yang burped. "UGH! What the fuck, Jeongin!" He turned to me quickly, his eyes wide. "What did you just call me?" 

My eyes stayed glued to the road, "I don't know what you're talking about." He said, "Please, call me that a lot."

It had been about two months since that whole situation. Yang had been wondering why I hadn't been talking to him. Plainly because I don't want to.

That whole situation with having to calm me down, cuddle me, and feed me... it felt too personal. 

I finished my report and heard a knock on the door, "Y/N, it's Surtees. Let me in?" I sighed, "Come inside, it's fun inside." He laughed as he walked in.

"Why are you singing Mickey Mouse?" I just laughed. Surtees sat, "I don't know how, but that Yang kid is already at the top of his class. They're thinking of promoting him." I let out a half smile, "He's a good kid." 

Surtees crossed his arms, "What happened on that mission, Y/N?" I squinted at him, "I told you." He rolled his eyes, "I don't think you're telling me everything." He leaned back in his chair.

I looked away from him to 'finish' my paperwork. There was a long silence. The only sound was sheets of paper swinging in the air. 

"Y/N." 

I looked up to see Surtees staring at me. "You serious about this being your last couple of months?" I sighed, "I can't take it anymore. My friend died here. When I did that mission with Yang, I couldn't take it. I'm weak. Too weak to protect the country." 

Surtees said, "Ah, so that's what happened." I raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean?" His smile spread, "You had a panic attack in front of the trainee, and now you're too embarrassed to talk to him."

I looked down, frustrated. "Y-yeah." Surtees only laughed. "You know the kid has a crush on you, right?" I looked up, appalled, "What?!" He held his stomach as he hunched over from laughter. 

"What are you talking about?" He smiled, "He's obsessed with you. He even came to ask why you haven't spoken to him." 

I felt my body tense as I thought about him holding me tight that night at the hotel. 

I didn't want to... but I think I really like him.

I shook my head, "That's... not right." Surtees said, "I think you should go for it. It's clear you're able to be vulnerable with him." 

I shook my head, "No! I shouldn't!" Surtees sighed, "Why? He's not going to die at war like your friend did. It's okay to fall in love again."

I shook my head, "But... Avery died because of me." Surtees smile had depleted. He looked at me, feeling sorry. I hated the pity, but it felt nice to be cared for.

"Y/N, you should sign up for the therapy they have here. You should also let Yang take you out. Maybe it's what you need."

I took his word as I silently cried. The tears fell from my cheeks, and Surtees stood up. "I know you hate when people see you cry. I'll see myself out." He patted my head and walked out. 

Surtees was always like an older brother. He was ahead of me by age and the system. I was one of the younger ones here. 

And that's thanks to the misfortune I suffered at 17.

I ended up huddled up in my office for about three hours. I eventually got up to quickly get something to eat. 

When I walked out to get some fast food on base, I was met with Yang. He was standing outside the convenience store alone. 

"You're supposed to be sleeping." He laughed, "Can't sleep when my friend ignores me." 

I glanced at him and walked past him. I was quick to get my food, but on my way out, Yang shouted to me, "Call me Jeongin... one more time." 

I turned around to look at him, "Excuse me?" He said, "Just once... I-I'd like to go out with you."

My eyes widened, "Yang, you're crazy." He asked, "Please? I want to be the person you want." I held my breath as I stared. My heart was racing, and my hands were shaking. 

"Y/N, you should sign up for the therapy they have here. You should also let Yang take you out. Maybe it's what you need."

Surtees's voice rang in my head. 

"Sure. But don't try to fuck me on the first night." He laughed, "No promises. When are you free?" 

He said, "Tomorrow, all day." I smiled, "Fine, let's meet at five." He smiled, "At the small pond, with the fishes." I nodded absentmindedly. I turned around and walked home. 

The next day, I had on civilian clothes. It wasn't often I wore an outfit, but I did today. 

I don't understand, but I wanted to impress Yang.

I wore a thigh-high dress, some white sneakers, and white socks. My locs are in a quick bun with the two front strands out to frame my face. 

I exited my place to see Nigel at my door, "Really?" He looked me up and down and said, "So Yang really did ask you out."

I embarrassingly punched him in the shoulder, "Shut up! Respect your Sergeant." 

He crossed his arms, "Looks to me like you're playing civilian. A civilian just punched a military officer." I furrowed my eyebrows as Nigel continued, "You don't look good. You look like a bodybuilder in a dress."

I had nothing to say. 

Do I?

He snickered, "Enjoy your date." I walked away with a new insecurity. 

Am I too big? Am I too buff? My job requires me to work out, but am I too muscular?

My thoughts were clouded as I made my way to the park. I saw Yang there with flowers. He was stylish. "Hi Y/N." 

My eyes widened. 

I'm not used to hearing my name. "Oh, hello." He smiled while handing me the flowers, "Come sit." 

I finally took a look at my surroundings. Jeongin made a little makeshift picnic. "It's not Chik-Fil-A, but I tried." 

I smiled and carefully sat down. "You look good in yellow." I tucked my loc behind my ear, "Thanks." 

He smiled back and looked at me. I wasn't paying attention when he started talking because I was thinking hard.

He said I looked good in yellow. Do I look good in the dress? I shouldn't eat, I should lose the weight then. I don't want to look huge. I need to get muscular but dainty. What meal plan do I have to follow to get like that.

"Y/N!?" I blinked as I looked at Yang. "You okay? You spaced off completely. I called your name like five times. Am I boring you? You wanna go somewhere else?" 

I shook my head, "No-no! You already set up." 

Jeongin said, "What's on your mind?" His voice got soft when he asked. It made my heart flutter when the concern bubbled from his throat.

"Nothing." He crossed his arms, "C'mon. Age-old tricks get you nowhere. What's wrong?" He smiled as he waited for an answer. 

I played with my fingers in my lap and whispered, "Just something stupid Nigel said." He leaned in, and I couldn't help but notice how buff his arms were. "What'd he say?" 

"I look like a bodybuilder in this dress."

He quirked his eyebrow, "You surprise me. Didn't take you as someone naïve." I looked up at him in shock. 

"Yes, your arms are a little muscular," He leaned over to squeeze them, "But you're still tiny." He kissed my cheek, "Now eat. I worked hard to beg Minho to make these chicken sandwiches."

I was still shocked by the kiss. I came up with a conversation, "Minho is your bandmate, right?" He nodded as he chewed his sandwich. 

"Second oldest hyung. I'm the maknae." I nodded, "What's it like being famous?" 

He looked up at me, "It feels like I have these guardian angels around me all the time. It feels like a higher power is protecting me. When I go out, people recognize me. I can tell even when they don't come up to me. If something happened to me, my fans got my back." 

I smiled, "You actually love your fans?" He nodded excitedly, "... It's like when your favorite cousin comes over for a sleepover." I laughed, "I get that." 

I ate the chicken, "Wow, this is good. Is Minho single?" He squinted his eyes, "Not funny, will never be funny." I smiled, "I'm kidding."

I thought, "Would I get to meet them? Your bandmates?" He nodded, "Them before my parents." I laughed, "Probably for the better." 

He raised an eyebrow, "What about you? When do I meet your parents?" 

I smiled, "Well, they're both dead, but we can meet their graves in America." Jeongin pouted, "I walked into that. How'd it happen?"

I said, "Bank robbery." I popped a strawberry in my mouth, "I was 17 when it happened. I had to go into foster care and got kicked out the day I turned 18. Came to the military to get money."

He nodded along, "That's upsetting. I get why you don't trust people then." 

I nodded, "Not even. It was just a traumatic time. I felt like life was so unfair. I was still grieving, and to be homeless while trying to go to high school was not fun. I got bullied." 

He furrowed his eyebrows, "That's super fucked up." I smiled, "I got suspended because I fought the whole group of girls and won. My dad was an ex-convict, so I know how to prison fight." 

Jeongin laughed, "And there it is." I smiled, "Not a Y/N story until I get slick at the mouth with someone." 

Yang laughed, "I love your slick-ass mouth. It's hilarious." I laughed, "You like bratty girls, don't you?" He shrugged, "You're gonna have to find out." 

I rolled my eyes, "Might have to find more than one thing in the bedroom." I sipped my water, and he laughed. "Trust, you make me so hard that it grows three times the size!" 

I laughed back, "Did you just admit to having a small penis, Yang?" He leaned closer, "I told you, my name is Jeongin." He kissed me deeply and slowly.

My arms wrapped around his neck as he slowly pushed us on the blanket. His hands kept him above me as one lifted the already short dress higher up my thigh.

"Mm~" He smiled against my lips as he kissed me again, "You like that?" I nodded, and he looked down, "You like being touchy, don't you?" I nodded again. "Fuck. You're so adorable when you're under me." 

He pulled away and sat up. "I have to keep my composure with you. You're dangerous." He pulled the corner of the blanket onto his lap. 

He was right about how fast and big it grows. It was huge.

I bit my lip and looked away, "I should probably tell you, I've never had sex before." He smiled, "I can tell. I'll make sure you can handle it."

I giggled at the thought of it. Jeongin cheesed, "Oh, you're a nasty girl."

"You'll just have to find out."

We'd been together for a couple weeks now. We'd sneak around and mess around. It was honestly so fun with Jeongin. 

Jeongin was actually a funny person. We had each other's sense of humor. He was also very lively and had a HIGH sex drive.

The two of us hadn't done IT yet. Mostly because I'm scared to. He hasn't mentioned it. He always stops when it gets too far or when I cum from his fingers. 

He's a patient man. Even though there will be times he invites himself into my office to display his boner. He won't mention anything.

Only a few know about what's going on between us. Everyone knows not to fuck with me because I'll have you on cleaning duty, and you'll be starting with the kitchen refrigerator. 

"Sergeant L/N, it's your boyfriend." I rolled my eyes, "What the fuck do you want Nigel." 

He walked in and sat on my seat, "You know Yang cursed me out after saying you looked buff in a dress. Ah, fun times. Now, we have an assignment. There's a new gen of trainees. They want to make you train a team." I sighed, "I don't want to, but fine, I guess." 

I smiled to myself while thinking of Jeongin. He'd been on my mind all day. He said he had something planned after work for me. He always gives me his time and attention. 

"Stop thinking of your boyfriend and take this folder of paperwork. It had the trainee's background at Bootcamp." 

I nodded, looking at the first page, "Ah, this person cried and peed himself on the second day? Jesus. Why does Commander give me all the weak ones." 

Nigel laughed, "Because your softness on them makes them tough." I bit my cheek, "Alright, get out." He stood snickering and left the room. 

I was only sitting on this for five minutes before I heard another knock on the door. 

I opened the door, "Nigel, what the hell do you want now-" 

Jeongin smiled and pulled me into a tight hug. "I finished early. Now, give me a kiss." I wiggled my head out of his tight headlock and kissed his cheek. 

He kicked the door behind him, "A real one." I laughed and kissed him for real. His lips were soft, and his breath was light on my top tip. 

He sucked in a breath, and his hands traveled to my waist. He lifted his shirt, and I gasped. "Here?!" He turned around and locked the door. 

"Whose gonna know?" I laughed as he lifted me onto my desk and kissed down my neck. I moaned as he lifted my shirt. He threw it on the floor and sucked on the hickeys he left last time.

He unzipped my pants and rubbed his thumb over my clit. "You couldn't even wait for tonight?" He smiled, "Because you looked so good today. You look so good in uniform." I bit my lip as he kissed my ear.

I felt his fingers dip into my panties. My legs spread absentmindedly. "Fuck, you're so submissive to me." I leaned back, using my hands to prop me up on the desk. "It feels good." 

"Can you sit on my face tonight?" I nodded, moaning to his rhythm. 

He was always slow and steady. Always curling his fingers until it hit my gummy spot. 

My stomach started to feel tight as he sped up. "I love it when you make that face for me. You're about to cum on my fingers? Hm, baby?" I nodded as I felt myself about to release.

I held his shoulder to keep me steady. He pulled his fingers out and flipped me over my own desk. 

He pulled down my pants and dug his face into my pussy. I moaned as his tongue swiped over my clit. 

"Shit. Innie, I'm cumming." He only dug his fingers deeper into my hole. I covered my mouth as I came all over his fingers. Jeongin licked me clean, "Give me your underwear." I stepped out of my underwear. "They're so wet. You're so nasty. Letting me take you in your office." 

I turned around, and he pressed a kiss on my lips. He kissed me harder as his big hands wrapped over my ass. He tightly squeezed it and let go. My ass jiggled from his release. 

"You have such a pretty ass. Pretty stretch marks, pretty skin... from my pretty girl." I bit my lip, feeling shy. "You like my stretch marks?" 

He smiled and gave me another kiss, "You're gonna get more when I get you pregnant. If you don't like them, you better start now." 

I had put on my clothes and was ready for this makeshift date Jeongin had made up.

He kicked out his roommate and made a movie night. It is endearing. I sat on his office carpet floor, and he pulled me into a cuddle. 

"You wanna watch Ponyo again?" I smiled, "I love how you always wanna watch my movies. What do you wanna watch?" He thought, "I heard 'The Challengers' with Zendaya was pretty good." 

I turned to him, not having it, "Either you love Zendaya, or you just wanna watch sex movies with me." He smiled, "Euphoria wasn't a movie." I rolled my eyes, "Baby, we already did stuff three days ago, two days ago, yesterday we did it four times, then today, and you wanna do it even more?! I'm exhausted." 

He looked at me seriously, "You want me to calm down?" I could tell he was taking it to heart, "I-uh...no." He clicked his tongue, "That's what I thought. Now, pick a movie." I sheepishly smiled and turned on Ponyo.

I'm predictable, I know!

We sat together watching it. We ended up moving to the couch and spooning. Jeongin was a little spoon, mostly because I liked being pressed against the back of the sofa. I felt safer here. My arms were on his shoulder as I watched from behind his big frame. 

Jeongin said, "This is my favorite part for some reason." Sosuke walked outside to see the water reaching the doorway. I smiled as I reminisced. 

This movie got me through a lot. 

"Ah, I love when the boat gets big because of her magic!" Jeongin turned to me, "You are so cute." I pouted, "When will you see me as sexy?" 

"When you take all your clothes off." 

I rolled my eyes and shoved my hand on his face. I turned his head, "Watch the movie horn-hog."

Honestly, I liked that he was so horny all the time. It was so attractive. He said, "You look so cute in my clothes. How am I supposed to contain myself?" "By watching the movie." 

Jeongin said, "You think I don't notice when you mouth the words?" 

He turned to me with that smile. He lifted me onto his lap, and my middle felt how hard his dick was.

"It's so cute when you do that. How many times have you seen this?" 

I smiled, "219 times." He laughed, "That's like 3% of your life dedicated to this movie."

I said, "Actually, 2.7%. I did the math. This movie reminds me of my childhood. How good I had it, how big my imagination was. How big the world seemed." 

He cupped my cheek, "The world is big." I scrunched my nose and leaned down to kiss him. Both my hands kept me propped on his big chest.

"Your dick is bigger." He smiled, "That's my girl." 

He flipped us over instantaneously, "You wanna feel it for me?" I laughed, "Not in the living room." He sighed while scooping me up bridal style and threw me on the bed.

"What about in my room?" He smiled at me as I crawled over to the edge of the bed. 

He bent down on one knee to meet my eyes, "Cutie, you wanna try today?" His eyes were sincere. 

"Trying going all the way? Y-yeah." 

He smiled, "No pressure. You can always tell me when to stop." 

He smiled at me as he pushed me on the bed gently. I expected him to be rougher. 

He's all talk. He's actually the sweetest and gentlest baby ever.

He loves to take care of me too.

He slid off his sweatpants from my body. "Always wearing my clothes." I nodded as he kissed my neck.

I let out a soft moan as he dug his fingers into my hole. "You're still stretched out. But I'll need to add another finger." 

He shoved in a third finger, and I moaned out in pain. "Nng~" He whispered between my legs, "I know, baby." 

He looked up, "You feel comfortable taking your shirt off?" I nodded as I pulled it off.

Jeongin's lips teased my clit. He kept flicking it. I bit my lip when I felt his other hand slide to my chest. 

He rolled my nipple between his big, callased fingers. 

"You feel good, baby?" I could only whimper, "Mhm~" 

I felt my stomach growing a knot, "I'm gonna cum soon." He let out a soft sigh, "Cum for me, baby. I can't wait to watch you shake under me." 

I loved how much of a talker he was in the bedroom. He always pushed me to the edge with his words. "Your sweet pussy is gonna cum all over my fingers, hm?" I nodded as he went faster. 

My moans only got longer as I squeezed my thighs around his head. "Ah~ I-I'm gunna... mmm~" I came on his fingers.

He pulled away, "I can't lick you clean today, I need that for me." He looked me over before kissing my nose, "I'll be back." He walked to his bathroom and came back with a pack of condoms. "Not sure how long until I wear you out, I brought three condoms." 

I shook my head in disbelief. I knew he was only half joking.

He slid his pants down. His dick was so hard. "Can you put it on for me, baby?"

Fuck yes.

I crawled over, now in only a bra. I pulled down Jeongin's boxers and watched his dick spring out.

It slapped his stomach as it touched right above the belly button. It was huge, I've never seen his dick before. It was pale, and the tip was pink. 

I put it in my hand as I felt it throb.

His hand immediately gripped my head as he observed me. 

I carefully slid on the condom. I never put one on before, so I struggled a bit. Jeongin groaned as he watched.

"Fuck, your so cute." He grabbed both wrists with one hand and moved his hand from my head. He slid on the condom, and his head dove back.

My warm palms were right back on his dick. "Fuck, Y/N. What are you doing?" I slid his long and thick dick in my mouth.

I kept going until it reached the back of my throat. 

"Fuck! Yes, baby, take it." I moaned as my eyes fluttered closed. "Fuck, your throat feels so good, baby." 

My hands were on his thigh as I sucked on his tip. Jeongin had put his hand back on my head. 

"Just like that." He pushed my head back and forth. 

"Let me fuck your throat. I want to watch you gag on me." I let his dick drag on my tongue as I looked at him with my doe eyes. 

He bit his lip, trying to keep his composure. He grabbed my chin and kissed me hard.

"Put it back in your mouth, baby." I grabbed his dick and started sucking it. He held my head steady as he thrust deep into my throat. 

Apparently, I don't have a gag reflex. Jeongin's dick slid right into my throat. 

His tip grazed against my front teeth, and I felt him shiver. "Oh fuck. Just like that baby." I swirled my tongue around his dick as my other hand massaged his balls. 

His grip on my locs tightened. His thrust got quicker as he began to groan. "Oh yeah, baby. Let me destroy that pretty little throat." 

He never was usually like this. Jeongin has always been a gentle horn monster. Hearing him speak like this to me made me hot and bothered. 

My fingers traveled to my pussy as I began to finger myself to his fast-paced rhythm. "Fuck yes, baby. Touch yourself to me." 

He went faster, but his thrusts were shallow. I started gasping with every moan, which led him to pull out a little.

Jeongin squeezed his eyes shut as he began to let out a long moan. "Fuck Y/N, I'm cumming." 

He came in the condom, and I watched as it leaked through the condom. I swiped my finger across his twitching dick and licked my finger.

He tasted salty.

Jeongin then pushed me on the bed, "It's your turn, I'm gonna fuck you so deep and slow, you won't know your own name."

I pulled off the used condom and put on a new one. Jeongin gripped my wrist and put the fingers I used to finger myself in his mouth. 

His tongue swirled around my fingers, and I moaned.

He positioned his dick into my pussy and shoved it in there.

I felt the immediate stretch. I felt so stuffed like my pussy was about to pop.

I squeezed my eyes closed and let out another pained whimper. My hand dropped from Jeongin's mouth, and he kissed my cheeks.

"You okay?" I nodded, "Yeah, you're just really big." He smiled gently, "Am I too big, or are you super tight?" He kissed my forehead, "Relax for me. It'll feel better." 

He slowly pulled out and thrust back in. My hand gripped his shoulder. "Agh~" He panted, "Fuck your tight little pusy is squeezing around me." 

I moaned as his thrust gotta a little rougher. His dick was already hitting my gummy spot. 

I muttered, "Faster." My body was shaking from pleasure as he picked up the pace. Already, my stomach was tying the knot around him. I let out loud moans. 

I felt like I was peeing as this wet substance sprayed out of me. I started to shake uncontrollably.

Jeongin pulled out quickly and kissed my neck, "You feel good, don't you, baby?" I nodded as I continued to ramble incoherent words in pleasure.

My body relaxed as Jeongin rubbed my thigh. I said sadly, "Did I just pee?" He smiled, "No, babe. You were so aroused that you squirted."

I looked away from him. He continued, "That's a good thing." 

I huffed, "Can we keep going, or does that mean we have to stop?" He cheesed, "Do you wanna keep going?" 

I nodded, "I do." He smiled and towered back over me. He positioned himself back in, but this time his dick popped right in. The pain was thin between pleasure.

I let out another moan, and he sunk into me. I bit my lip as he thrust into me at the same pace. He whispered in my ear, "I won't lie. Watching you squirt was the hottest thing I've ever seen you do."

I let out a laugh, but it turned into a moan as he roughly slammed into me. 

The knot got tighter as I curled into him. My neck dove back, and Jeongin took it as the perfect opportunity to suck on my sweet spot. 

I felt myself starting to cum all over again. "Ah~ I'm gonna cum Innie." He thrust faster as he rubbed my thighs in a circular motion. 

I balled the sheets into my hands and felt myself cum. My eyes rolled to the back of my head as my back arched.

"Fuck!" I squeezed around Jeongin's dick leading him to twitch. But he didn't cum. 

He let me ride out my orgasm, and relax a little before the next round. Instead, he held me mid-air, and my legs hooked on his shoulder. He was slamming into me quickly. My moans were loud in his ear as he panted from his rhythm.

"Oh fuck! You're so deep~" My body swung into the air and collided with his stomach. The squelching noises of my pussy were loud in the air. 

He sighed as he started to throb in me. He carefully placed me on the bed and fucked me from behind. My face was digging into the sheets as he slapped my ass hard. 

We were at least on the third condom by now. My legs shook as I cried out, "Fuck, I'm cumming!" He said with a satisfied groan, "Me too, baby girl." 

Our moans harmonized as I fell over. Jeongin plopped onto the bed and caught his breath.

"You're such a good girl." He cupped my cheek and kissed me deeply.

We cuddled that night all night long. When I woke up, he was there, and with breakfast.

We traveled together to America on leave, and he visited my parents. And we ate Chik-Fil-A because I cried the whole car ride back.

That was the day I told him I loved him too.

[blitzwhore]

Hello! I'd like to ask if you've seen the post with the screenshots that says Stolas inflicts his own torment by going with Stella's whims despite having more power and prestige than her. There is a rebuttal, of course, but someone else also added that the reason people think as the screenshot says is because the writers didn't put enough emphasis and reason on the hold Stella has over Stolas and his fear of her, as well as the fact that her apparent uninvolvement with Octavia makes his reason to stick with her seems very weak. They do put an intriguing essay on how the fear of Stella for Stolas could have stand out more.

Personally I think that he's probably desensitised and numb to her after with Paimon as well and the image of a nuclear family is a must for both society and daughter. Perhaps we'll have more answers in s3. What do you think?

Drink water regularly, may a good week come to you.

Hi! I haven't seen that post, no.

When I see posts arguing about the quality of the show's writing I almost always ignore them, because I'm not interested in discourse and I want my blog to be a place that's fun for me and others to scroll through. I don't want fandom wank and 'criticism of the show' on my blog because I go into fandom spaces to have fun, not to get angry. So if I'd seen that post, I probably would've just sighed really hard and kept scrolling.

That being said, because this ask touches on a subject matter that is extremely personal to me, I'll bite and share my personal opinion, which is that the writing is perfectly executed exactly as it is. Helluva Boss is a show for a mature audience—it says so at the beginning of every episode. That doesn't just mean "hey, there's sex and drugs in these episodes". It also means, "hey, some heavy themes are going to be handled in this show, and we're not going to hold your hand and walk you through them. It's up to you to use your media literacy and critical thinking skills to pick up on the things we're going to show you".

And maybe it's because I'm an abuse survivor myself and I know exactly what it feels like to go through decades of abuse, and maybe other viewers' interpretation of Stolas' character is completely different, but... I personally had zero trouble picking up on Stolas' motivations, fears, and emotions, or on why he made each decision at each turn throughout the show.

I'll put the rest of my answer under a cut, because it's personal and rambly. But in short: yeah, I do agree with what you said at the end of your ask.

1. "He's more powerful and has a higher status than Stella, so he's inflicting his pain on himself by not standing up to her"

So there's this thing called learned helplessness, and, fun fact, it is heavily linked with PTSD and depression.

"(...) Learned helplessness occurs when someone repeatedly faces uncontrollable, stressful situations and does not exercise control when it becomes available. They have “learned” that they are helpless in that situation and no longer try to change it, even when change is possible." (source)

It's not about the power and capability to control the situation Stolas actually has. It's about the power and control he feels he has—which is none. Zero. He says this to us constantly. "Owl in a cage", "you have no choice", "my entire life's been written in stone, he taught me that I could choose".

He was told since he was a kid that his duties, his marriage, his life trajectory were non-negotiable. He never knew a life outside of his palace—his gilded jail. He doesn't know what we as the audience know—that there's a whole world out there where he can build a better life for himself with people who actually love him—because he's been raised to be a pawn in a game much bigger than himself, and he knows it. I don't need (and don't want) the show to spoonfeed me this fact. It's spelled all over his character if you know how to see it.

2. "Stella's hold of Stolas and his fear of her aren't emphasised enough in the show"

Stella literally tries to hit him at the end of The Circus and looks shocked and taken aback when he grabs her wrist to stop her. I don't need them to show me Stella hitting Stolas 15 times in order to know she's been doing it.

He hugs himself and makes himself small, walking away to remove himself from the situation as quickly and quietly as possible, when Blitz starts yelling at him in The Full Moon. I don't need them to show me Stella yelling at Stolas 20 times to know she's been yelling at him for years. We've seen her yelling at him in Loo Loo Land, in The Circus and in Seeing Stars. We know it happens. We know it always has.

I also don't need them to tell me that repeated physical and verbal abuse causes a victim to become extremely afraid of their abuser and causes them to be triggered by anything and anyone that makes them feel unsafe, because I've lived it in my skin. And I know plenty of people who watch the show who are not abuse survivors, and they're also able to see that Stolas is behaving like any abuse victim exactly with zero support would act.

In the moment, he freezes and flees. He makes himself smaller. He gets away from the situation in any way he can. He "keeps the peace" to keep the abuse to a minimum, doing anything and everything to please the people around him because that's the only way he can feel some semblance of control. ("Yes, if that's what Blitzy wants" / "Do you like it when I talk to you dirty?" / just him sheltering Octavia from his suffering to be the perfect parent for her, and give her everything she could ever want and need, going as far as making promises he couldn't keep).

In the long run, he becomes hopeless and drowns in guilt. He assumes he probably deserves what's happening to him, and thinks it's his own fault that he's so affected by the abuse for being too weak to stand up for himself. He blames himself for not being good enough for the people around him ("I'll believe him, and not the voice that says I'm not enough"), and mentally berates himself for being a coward and a failure, and for not knowing how to put an end to his suffering. He turns to passive (sometimes active) suicidality because that's genuinely the only way he can see of getting back control over his own body and life. ("When I'm gone you'll be okay" / "I'll give my life to clean your slate" / "I don't care what they fucking do, I'm seeing Octavia" / "do it, pussy").

3. Stella's uninvolvement with Octavia makes Stolas' reason to stay with Stella seem very weak

I... Look. I can't be the only one who grew up in a broken family, and surrounded by plenty other broken families. Kids, especially small kids, can't rationalise that family relationships don't always work out and sometimes divorce is the best option for everyone involved. Especially not in this society we live in, where divorce/separation are seen as a failure, and children are (at least passively) taught that divorce is their fault.

Stolas knows all this. He doesn't want Via to feel like she's growing up in a broken house, which is what separating from Stella would accomplish. We also don't know if Stolas would've kept custody of Octavia had he divorced Stella when Via was little. But it's very likely he didn't want to risk leaving Via alone with Stella, even just half the time. Especially not when Octavia has been having nightmares and crying over the mere thought of being abandoned by Stolas. Divorcing Stella would very likely result in Octavia feeling abandoned by him.

I don't know, man. I feel like I don't even have the right words to reply to this point. I still remember being 8 and sensing that something was very wrong with my parents and feeling like it was my responsibility to fix it, or else my world would end. Stolas tried his best to protect Octavia from feeling this way, from feeling responsible for anything that happened between her parents. He just wanted her to be happy. The only way he could do that was by playing 'happy family' in front of her so she could grow up carefree. He tried his best to give her enough love that she wouldn't feel the absence of her mother's love. I really don't know what else to say to this.

If you want media to spoon-feed you its themes and hold your hand as it shows you what each character is going through, then... I don't know, man. Stick to media that does that. There's media out there that genuinely does this really well. Heartstopper, for example. The Hunger Games, in a way. But maybe think twice before diving into adult media meant for mature audiences and criticising it for wanting you to be a mature viewer. Maybe it's just not for you.

Anyway. I'm gonna drink water now, please drink some water too if you're reading this (included, but not limited to, the asker). Hope you all have a nice day ❤️