#so when people who didn't grow up that way judge you for things you may have said or done in your past due to that influence

[theangrypomeranian]

"you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me" feels like something an ex Christian would say to someone who didn't grow up in any kind of religion

[astarion-obsessions]

I think not enough people understand that Astarion doesn't want you to be his main or only source of blood. This even stands in direct contrast to what he really wants to achieve with biting Tav. Let me explain.

Why Astarion doesn't want you to be his blood bag

Let me start with explaining how I approached this topic. First of all, when I triggered the bite scene in my playthrough, I obviously let Astarion drink from my Tav. But then I got curious. What happens when I don't stop him? He's said I could trust him just a moment ago, didn't he? So I did just that, I trusted him literally with my life. 

Aaaand... he killed me. Well. What did I expect from a vampire, really. But that he actually drained me dry broke my heart. I really wanted to trust him, to reach out and show him that I didn't judge him for what he was and so on. I was really disappointed in him and couldn't quite grasp why he would do this. Was it a conscious decision? Did he lose control? Surely he would apologise and explain everything to me once someone resurrected me, returning the trust I was giving him the night prior, right?... right?

Of course not. The dialogue after him killing Tav was... at least as disappointing as him killing Tav in the first place. He shows his usual attitude, apologises half-heartedly and then just keeps going on with talking about draining the occasional bandit. He even snaps when you mention the topic of him feeding after that with something like "I already apologised, what more do you want?".

There's no real regret, no emotions. He simply doesn't care.

We know that he didn't care in the beginning, he tells us as much when he confesses his unwanted, growing feelings towards Tav in act 2. But still the whole bite scene didn't sit right with me until…

The Nightmare 

I randomly stumbled upon a clip of Astarion having a nightmare, so I researched about it and even started an Astarion run to experience it myself. So, if you play as Astarion, at the second long rest of act 1 he has a nightmare about Cazador, in which he recites the rules that defined how Astarion and the other spawn had to live:

First, thou shalt not drink of the blood of thinking creatures. 

Second, thou shalt obey me in all things. 

Third, thou shalt not leave my side unless directed. 

Fourth, thou shalt know that thou art mine. 

However Astarion reacts to this dream, he jolts awake afterwards and instinctively panics that he needs to find a way back to his master as soon as possible. His eyes set on his companions, who are sleeping / meditating peacefully around the fire, and then a thought passes his mind.

He could try to break one of Cazador's rules right then and there. He's able to stand in the sun, to bathe in running water, so maybe…

And that's why he decides to bite a companion. Astarion wakes up utterly terrified of what his master will do to him if he doesn't return to him in an instant - and he knows all too well what kind of horrors would await him if he so much as dares to think about rebelling again (read about that here) - so he is in desperate need of confirmation that he is now able to withstand and actively break the rules that have dominated his life for two centuries.

He needs to know that he is able to drink the blood of a thinking creature. And there they are. His clueless companions served on a silver platter. It's like an invitation to him, to test his boundaries. And who would be more fitting than the good hearted leader of the party Astarion wanted to (or already has) seduce(d) anyway?

This piece of information shed a whole new light on the bite scene. But let's look a bit closer at that. 

The Bite Night 

The very first thing Tav registers about what's going on with Astarion that night is him baring his fangs right above us, about to sink them into our flesh. He pulls back as soon as we open our eyes, retreating immediately until there's a safe distance between him and Tav. 

This may be the first time Tav gets to know that Astarion is a vampire, so he gets defensive and tells us that he's never killed a person for food, only animals. But then, instead of letting the idea of feeding on Tav go, he insists that animals aren't enough. 

But it's not enough. Not if I have to fight. I feel so weak. 

If I just had a little blood, I could think clearer. Fight better. Please. 

Then he goes on, literally pleading to get what he wants while putting on a sad expression in the end, even averting his gaze. 

And if we now have in mind that he just woke up from a nightmare about Cazador, feeling powerless and in desperate need of even a glimpse of hope that he might escape Cazador's cruel grip, his lines make a lot of sense. He's veiling the truth, of course, but not all of what he says is a lie. 

He indeed feels weak - powerless in fact - so drinking Tav's blood (the blood of a thinking creature) could prove that he may have regained a bit of power over himself, which had been exclusively reserved for Cazador the last 200 years. This would absolutely make him feel stronger, more confident than he's felt for a long, long time. 

And he indeed could think clearer after tasting Tav's blood, because this would bring clarity to the question if he is now able to break Cazador's rules on purpose and therefore give him information to work with when he needs to think about what to do next. 

Right after this, we get the chance to push into Astarion's mind, and if we do this, we can see what he thinks about. 

His mind opens up, revealing cracked and quivering memories. At their heart, you see dark eyes, commanding you to feed. 

You open your mouth and bite down. Not into a tender neck, but in the twisting body of a rat - the only thing your master lets you eat. 

He recalls the memory of how his master used to force him to eat disgusting vermin. As his memory is told, we can clearly see how deeply this affects him, for he can't keep up his walls of defensiveness and detachment. They just crack, crumble and reveal his misery clearly for Tav to observe. When we ask him about it directly afterwards, he first seems to search for a way out - a witty remark, anything - but gives up almost immediately. And he looks and sounds just completely defeated and tired, confirming what Tav just saw in his mind. 

He goes on with talking about trust. I think here he's seeing a chance to gain Tav's sympathy. If he already reveals such delicate information about his past, he can as well make use of it. So he appeals to Tav's understanding, offering us that this past is the reason for him only trusting Tav slowly. But then he immediately adds that now he trusts Tav, and that in return Tav can trust him, too. 

What he does here is displaying himself as pitiful, gaining Tav's sympathy, then seemingly going out of his way and saying that despite all he does trust Tav, which puts Tav in the position to follow suit with returning the trust… which Astarion definitely lied about on his part. But that's what he does. Manipulating. 

If we then respond with "You tried to bite me. How can I trust you?" instead of assuring us of his trustworthiness with more manipulation, he gets frustrated. 

Because we don't have a choice! Not if we're going to save ourselves from these worms. 

But he goes on with masking his reasons, even if he gave us a hint right in the beginning of act 1 when we picked him up, where he said that he would rather control the tadpole instead of removing it. If we play as Astarion, it gets clear pretty fast that he holds onto the tadpole, because it seems to be the only thing that had been able to "save" him from Cazador whilst no one and nothing else even attempted to help him for two centuries. Of course he would not want to get rid of the tadpole just like that. But he says so nonetheless to align with Tav's goals and display himself as useful. 

And then he does something interesting. 

I need you alive. You need me strong. 

Please. Only be a taste, I swear. I'll be well, you'll be fine, and everything can go back to normal. 

In the beginning of this conversation he mentioned he needed the blood to fight better. Now he takes up on this by saying that Tav needs him strong, hinting on him getting stronger after having a taste of Tav's blood. And then he promises that after this "everything can go back to normal", which right now means Astarion feeding on animals again. 

A few things about this are odd. 

Firstly, "only be a taste". Everyone, literally everyone has heard about the insatiable hunger of vampires. So how is it supposed to work that Astarion gets stronger from just a taste of Tav's blood? For how long? A few hours? Not nearly long enough to pose a real advantage, eh? For me this makes no sense. And if we think about his true intentions - wanting to find out if he can break Cazador's rule - just a taste would be absolutely enough. (And after he bites Tav without killing them, he even says that he needs something more filling!) 

Secondly, if Astarion really wanted to become stronger with the help of Tav's blood, why would he promise to go back to normal afterwards? He just offered Tav a stronger companion but then immediately nullified this argument by literally saying that this will be a one time arrangement. 

Thirdly, he subtly offers a bargain. "You give me your blood, I will be a stronger fighter for you." He did so in the beginning as well, repeating it with different words. And it fits his character very well to do so, because for all he knows everything comes with a price. He almost gets beaten to death and Cazador mercifully comes to his rescue? The price is a never ending life of torment and abuse. Astarion helps a potential victim for Cazador to flee? The price is a year of starvation, locked up in a dusty and dark tomb without knowing if it will ever find an end. Mindflayers rescued him from Cazador, (passively) granting him to possibly be free of him at last? The price is becoming a tentacled monster in the end. 

If we then allow him to bite us, he's visibly surprised about our graciousness, but of course doesn't let this chance slip and suggests getting comfortable instantly. Then he finally gets to sink his teeth into Tav's neck. This part of the scene can more or less be viewed from both sides - Astarion's and Tav's. 

He begins to feed on Tav and after a bit we can decide to interrupt him, but have to pass an ability check first. This repeats a second time when playing Tav, and even if it's only one AC when we play Astarion and decide to bite a companion, it still aligns, showing that Astarion seemingly loses himself in the taste of Tav's blood - which is very likely because (as he later tells us) we were the first humanoid he's ever fed on, so it's imaginable that Tav's blood must be tasting almost divine to him. 

This theory is supported by his actions after we fail the first AC or just let him continue. He grabs the back of Tav's head to pull them towards himself, emphasising on how greedy he is sucking the blood out of Tav. The camera even uses the exact same angles before failing or skipping the first AC and after, so the comparison is easy and the difference is clear:

If we then fail or skip the next AC, Astarion just drains us dry… And it gets even better after the bite night. 

The Morning After 

When Tav gets revived and then talks to Astarion, he is visibly surprised to see us, after he left the dead body of Tav behind with saying "Oh no, something terrible has happened". Sure Astarion, something… 

All of this happens when Astarion still doesn't care for Tav. He reacts with panic when we confront him with the fact that he literally killed us, and just manages to get his expression under control after a few seconds. I mean, just look at him:

'Killed' feels like a strong word. Not many corpses have your vigour. 

He definitely knows what he's done, and that 'killed' is indeed the right word for it, he is just very very bad at coping with guilt (which is amazingly analysed by thelikesoffinn - definitely read this, you'll understand Astarion so much better after this). 

He instantly lays the focus on our codependency again, that we need each other and so on. If we question why we should keep him around, he answers with:

A strong, well-fed vampire? I'm a powerful weapon - you'd be a fool to toss me aside now. 

With mentioning this, he wants to make sure that Tav will let him stay by their side and therefore grant him protection. 

But more importantly he continues:

Anyway, last night was an aberration. It will never happen again. 

He doesn't even start with something like "Next time I'll be more careful" or anything similar. He straight up says that it will never happen again. Period. If we then ask who he will feed on next time he gets hungry, he presents the idea of feeding on villains and bandits "who need killing anyway". And this is exactly what he wants. This even shows in his reaction to Tav's response to his suggestion.

If we agree and therefore allow him to feed on our enemies ("Sounds good. Glad we could agree"), this is how he reacts:

As am I. I'm starting to feel a little peckish already. 

This itself doesn't sound all too enthusiastic, but we get his approval up, which definitely shows that he very much likes that Tav agreed. 

On the contrary, if we suggest he can feed on Tav, ignoring his will wish to feed on villains ("Look, I'm not against you feeding on me, but only if we talk about it first"), this is his reaction:

Of course! This sounds eminently reasonable. 

I shall wait patiently until you suggest we… dine together. 

Doesn't sound too bad either, eh? But we don't get his approval. He doesn't disapprove, of course, because this is still a thousand times better than what he had until then, but still not what he really wants… 

So, what does all of this mean for the initial question? 

Conclusion 

The crucial point here is what it means for Astarion to feed on Tav. The only things he remembers since Cazador turned him, are being relentlessly dominated and horrifyingly abused. The things Astarion wants the most are to be safe and to finally have control over himself again. 

He bit Tav for the sole purpose of finding out if he can be free of Cazador's rules. So why would he jump right into being dependent on Tav? He suggests to feed on villains, because then he is free of anyone's mercy. He doesn't need to rely on Tav to graciously allow him to get a drop of blood. He can do this himself now. 

This is such an important step for his character growth, to find the way to his autonomy again, so if we only allow him to feed on Tav, it instantly sets him back into old habits of bowing to his masters words - or in this case Tav's. Because it's all hes been doing for the last two centuries of his life. 

So, as much as the thought of the self-sacrificing offer to be his personal blood bag may seem romantic or whatever, it's actually the exact opposite, trapping Astarion in what he desperately tries to escape from. The restrictions that come with someone dominating him mentally and physically. And as I mentioned earlier, he doesn't believe in the goodness of people. For him every "kind" act has a price and he likes to know what he has to pay, so he wouldn't even want to just drink Tav's blood without Tav getting anything out of it. He would most certainly expect Tav one day to come around with something he doesn't want to give or do, so he wants to control such situations beforehand. 

All he wants is to make his own decisions and be free in every way possible… 

So please just let him drain some bandits, will ya? 

[neediestwhore]

innocent! yuji x traumatised! reader

a/n: been doing smut so much recently, just wanted some fluff and angst up in here.

tw: talking about sh, addiction, and sa.

you catch a glimpse of yuji smiling at you as you scroll through netflix to find a decent show that wasn't as boring as the previous one.

"why are you smiling so intensely at me, baby?" you chuckled out, god, your boyfriend was so adorable, sometimes you don't feel like you're enough for him.

"you look really pretty when you're concentrated on something, you know" he beamed.

chuckling at his adorableness, you took a cig out and put it in your mouth, crunching it with your teeth before you hear a faint "pop", then, you proceeded to light your cig up.

"i don't understand what's the hype for people to smoke...it smells really bad" yuji blurted as his face scrunches up, it was honestly really cute.

"well, i smoke because i started doing it at a young age, and it just became a habit, you know?" you retorted as you inhaled the smoke and exhaled the stress.

"but why, it's really bad for your lungs y/n.. you should stop doing that before you become sick." he muttered in worry.

the thing about you and yuji is that despite the both of you being in a serious relationship, you have never told him about your past. about the abuse you had to tolerate, the betrayal, everything that made you who you were today.

you changed the topic quickly to avoid talking about your past. but your sweet boyfriend kept insisting you talked about it, he just wants to understand you, and reassure you that you're not alone and he's always here for you.

what were you supposed to say to him? you didn't want him to think that you're a slut or a useless bum that was an addict. you were scared. you lost everyone else in your life, you didn't want to lose the sweetest boy you've ever had.

hesitantly, you talked about how at a young age you mixed around with bad company and how you fell into addiction, how your friends betrayed you and ratted you out to the police all because they didn't want to take the blame. how you had virginity forcefully taken away from you, which let you into a spiral of coping in different ways, cuts, sex, ice, alcohol. anything you could do to forget about your past.

tears started to well up in your eyes, you've never told anyone about your past before, embarrassed by the fact you're not pure, you're ruined. you were scared he would judge you for it. you didn't even dare to look him in the eyes while explaining it.

it may seem like a small thing to everyone else, but you were raised to be embarrassed by it. growing up with purity culture and idealistic of a woman needing to be pure in order to be loved.

it hurt so bad explaining this, you didn't want to seem like someone that would ruin him and his future, you didn't want to be seen as a whore. you were scared.

but yuji, being the sweetest soul that he is, wiped away your tears with his thumb. he looked at you, upset.

"y/n, i don't understand why you're embarrassed by this, it was what made you "y/n", the strong independent girlfriend of mine that is willing to defend what's right. you're perfect in every way, my love. your past doesn't define you in anyway. i promised you that i'll love you forever, your past doesn't change how i'm so in love with and how i constantly think about how perfect, beautiful, smart, funny, and kind you are. you y/n l/n are the love of my life, and nothing can change that, don't forget you're my beautiful girlfriend." yuji said.

his words felt so warm, it felt like you were being hugged by your mother again, back then when she still loved you and you were an innocent child.

you wailed out loud as yuji cradles you in his arms, consoling you, reassuring you, telling you how perfect you are and how much he loves you for who you truly are and nothing can change that.

you sob into his arms all night, his words feeling like a meal after playing with your friends for a long time at the playground.

your eyes felt heavy and you snuggled up to him closely. letting his warm body engulf you.

yuji truly is the sweetest.

[nabi-unveiled]

There are fabulous things happening in ep 1 of Heesu in Class 2.

For the record, other than seeing a few people saying it was good on my dash, I knew nothing going into this one. I generally avoid trailers and only rarely know a show is starting before it does. I'm a "see it on my app, click it, decide if I vibe" type of person.

#1 - It took me less than 1.5 minutes to start vibing.

We start with Hee Su running to confess while wearing a fabulous shirt with a sun on it.

Then the intro came in hard with all kinds of science symbols including planets, a telescope and a full out phase diagram of the moon. My nerdy heart which is currently writing video scripts related to astronomy is in my happy place. Plus, they're using the science symbols POETICALLY. I'm going to swoon.

#2 - The "universe" dialogue isn't a one off.

Our boy Hee Su is apparently really into astronomy. Even if he says he mainly likes Chan Young, he's trying to start an astronomy club. Problem is - teach has a life outside of school.

I hate to say it Hee Su, but I agree with teach here. Expecting him to work from 10pm - midnight when he's not equally passionate about astronomy is a bit much.

But the cooler thing to me is that Hee Su KEEPS referencing the universe. We have an absolutely lovely poetic opening speech about the universe.

Hee Su uses it to discuss how the casual remarks from Chan Young impact him.

He uses it at the end when he decides to confess. Sure, there may be a universe where he didn't confess. And there may be a universe where he was rejected. But what if there's a universe where he's accepted. What if it's this one?

#3 - A lot of the dialogue spirals and builds

Throughout the episode, there are so many places where dialogue is building and spiraling. It's layering in so many themes and setting up the narrative so nicely that my brain is literally pinging with happiness.

We have a thread about the real value of "confessions" with multiple perspectives on that.

We have a thread about the right way to "approach" the person you care about and build a relationship.

We have a thread about the unintentional things people do that can hurt others.

We have MULTIPLE pieces of dialogue that are already being used multiple times by different characters in the episode. And the callbacks are so seamlessly integrated that it works to build both meaning and narrative tension. That's a skill.

#4 - Hee Su is a dating "guru" who has never dated, but he's actually good at it.

The fact that it seems like he's mainly learned from watching television and listening to his sisters' stories is perfection. I respect that so much.

I also love this sibling relationship SO much.

#5 - What makes a "true" friend is already being explored.

See this girl? I love her. This is a fledgling friendship. But the energy is already flowing both ways. Unlike the users in his life, she learned Hee Su's name BEFORE approaching him. They're bonding over Usain Bolt and unrequited love. She's giving HIM advice even if he was supposed to be mentoring her.

See this boy? I hate him. He's the "perfect" friend. The object of Hee Su's affection. I'm probably projecting and judging him prematurely. But for this episode, I'm getting coward + popular jerk + manipulator vibes. I'll need to remind myself that he's a teenager. He might grow on me.

See this boy behind Hee Su? I'm trying to decide whether I should feel bad for him. He's obviously the brunt of his friends' jokes including Hee Su's. But there is friendly affection between the three of them, and he gives it back to them too.

#6 - I'm adopting our "Mystery" suitor.

Hee Su may be the title character, but Seung Won is who I'm adopting. Bias is in play. I've seen him before in a different show, and I LOVED his acting in it. I skipped through most of that tedious show just to get to his scenes.

But beyond the fact that he pays attention to Hee Su,

Hee Su's family is the warmth and noise in his quiet, lonely world.

#7 - There's FOOD symbolism.

We have carrot juice being given by pretty much everyone to Hee Su representing all kinds of feelings. Even if I agree with our Friend on the Fringe that it wouldn't be my choice of my drink.

And we have shared family snacks & meals

with the occasional sibling shenanigans.

I loved the ramen scene so much.

Do I have time and the energy for Episode 2 tonight? I don't know, but I just might try.

[d3adbr3inc3lls]

I love hair. Some HCs of the reader being fixated on their partner's hair would be much appreciated. PS - Both guys and gals would be nice, it seems you write only guys unless requested.

Multiple x Reader being fixated on their hair | HCs

Included: Spinel, Friede, (Young)!Gibeon, Conia/Onia

Spinel

For someone who chose to grow out his hair, it's a bit tangled and knotted in areas -he sits at a computer all day. What did you expect?

After the year skip, he'd defiantly take better care of it to look the part of a role he's trying to play.

In both situations(), he doesn't mind you touching or playing with his hair when he isn't doing any work.

He'll even lay his head down on your stomach, lap or wherever is more comfortable for you as he checks up on things that don't require a lot of concentration to let you play with it.

If he's working, or doing something important, he'd prefer it if you didn't touch his hair as it may distract him.

Sure, you can still touch and fuss over his hair whilst he's working, but as long as it doesn't stop him from working, he doesn't mind.

Friede

During your downtime, he loves it when you card your hands through his hair and play with it.

He might not keep any hairstyles you give him, he prefers having his ponytail, but he's not going to do anything about it if you're the only people on the ship or you're with close friends at home.

If you like tying his hair back, he'll happily let you do it as part of your daily routine when the two of you wake up.

It's a small thing, but if it makes you happy, he won't judge.

His hair is soft and fluffy with barely any tangles.

(Young!)Gibeon

He has pretty long hair that he takes good care of, so be careful with it.

There's absolutely no tangles or knots in his hair, it's just neat and straight.

He wouldn't mind you playing with his hair or doing anything as long as you're gentle with it, it has taken him a while to grow it out and he likes the length he has.

Braid his hair if you want. He'll keep it in if he needs it all tied up, otherwise he might let it down again.

Conia

Braid her hair, tie it back, do whatever you want with it. She'll be really happy.

10/10 she will try to keep the hair styled the way you did it, even if people make fun of it.

If her hair comes undone, she'll feel guilty and apologise a lot about it.

Honestly- she loves the feeling of your hands through her hair as you do something with it, play with it or just run your hands through it.

She probably has thicker hair when compared to everyone else, so you'll need to use thicker hair ties.

A/N: The most common characters I get requests for are males so I often include them in my multiple HCs,, but if people show interest in female characters,, I'll be mkre than happy to provide,,

[autisticlenaluthor]

you might’ve said something like this before but what do you specifically think makes jackienat work as a pair besides their similar moral standpoints and narrative foils? I’m just curious cause i love talking about them and I think they’d be good to one another in a way that their potential partners and/or peers fail to do.

Like i think nat would be more communicative with jackie and understanding of who she is beyond her typical high school status. and I think jackie would openly appreciate (or grow to) who nat is in a way the typical 90s teenage boy wouldn’t and could see the place her struggles come from, not just writing it off as nat being trashy

fully agree with everything you said in the second paragraph so i've got nothing to add on that front lol but per your original question -

i think jackie and nat are the only ones who ever see undistorted, true versions of the other. ghost jackie is shown entirely through shauna's pov and since s1 mostly centers around shauna - most of jackie's moments are in relation to shauna.

(ex. how jackie makes shauna feel before the party in the pilot, how jackie reacts to shauna faking her period/losing her virginity/and so on. even though the show isn't from shauna's pov - we don't get many moments of just jackie as an individual. we mostly see her how shauna sees her. i also think this is why so many people use the bratty/lazy/mean girl argument when they dislike her, but i digress)

nat, however, sees jackie for who she actually is. she sees jackie's morals and she has a lot of respect for her from the start. she doesn't want to go against her in the pilot and at the party, she's one of the first to (other than laura lee) go along with jackie's "one nice thing" moment.

on the flip side, i think jackie has a lot of admiration for nat - even if she doesn't always show it. she tells nat that she admires how she can be herself without caring what anyone else thinks. and this is a huge compliment given that jackie cares so much about what people think of her. i honestly think this was one of the most genuine compliments jackie could've given.

there's also a level of subtle comfortability with the other. when nat kicks jackie awake and gets her out of bed - jackie whines and groans like a little kid. the others are clearly irritated at her & judging her behavior when jackie's outside, but nat isn't. she pushes, yes, but she lets jackie have her moment. she doesn't make her feel bad the way some of the others might have for needing to moan and groan. jackie is comfortable being herself with nat, and nat accepts that part of her.

i think the biggest thing though is that nat had an understated love for jackie, platonic or otherwise. shauna was jackie's best friend - but nat was the one who collected her bones, wrapped them up, and brought them back to the plane. she sat with her and apologized for what they did. she humanized her after they ravaged her body. and even after the feast, nat was the only one who seemed to show horror at what they'd done (other than tai, who didn't remember)

again in s3, nat is the one who brings up jackie - who still holds her in regard as their captain. nat may be queen, but she'll never forget the significance of jackie's role. even without a lot of on screen interaction - it's clear that jackie means so much to nat. and i imagine for jackie, it would've been the same.

[luna-bimborina]

Top of my favorite Laura's (X-23) ships and which one I think is best

Trigger warning: this contains a lot of text and is more of a vent so I ask for patience, some may count as crack ships and some you may not like, every opinion is valid as long as it is given with respect this just things that I like and that is my opinion.

Please all from respect and understanding 💖.

9. Local

We haven't seen much of this character, that's why he's the last one, but he still has a certain charm that reminds us of Gambit, which fits Laura's personality in my opinion.

8. Jordan

Same case only appeared once but still the way they manage to understand each other is quite adorable, going from hate to understanding being that in the end both try to fight with the trauma, although I can also see it as a sisterhood relationship.

7. Jubilee

Emphasizing this is my opinion, I know many love this ship and I don't really judge them the way Jubilee seeks to support Laura can be fascinating, plus she never judges her just accompanies her, the only thing I think sometimes she tends not to listen to her much out of that I can also see them as sisters.

6. Mercury

I know this may sound weird but in general the way they both grow since they meet is slow but effective, being that even coming from absolutely different lives they seek to connect and manage to understand each other in the end, honestly I hate that Marvel won't continue their friendship.

5. Wind Dancer

I made this one up and it's an absolute crack ship, I mean I know they haven't interacted but I legitimately believe that if they had it would have been a nice friendship or relationship, between Sofia's compression and Laura's overprotection... I'll understand if I'm cancelled or judged for this...

4. Angel

Here we start with strong things, I know that many do not like this ship or its author, but in my opinion it has strong points.

Warren was one of the few people who tried to help Laura when she was clearly not well mentally, especially when she was surrounded by people that he barely knew, the way he enjoys seeing her smile and takes care of her says a lot about him, to the point that he prefers to sacrifice everything to change the destiny and have time with her, plus they both manage to make each other grow. While it has a bit toxic points I also like how they manage to solve things by communicating perfectly and learning to talk to each other being that while it's not perfect they manage to get to solve things just with communication at the end of it all, not to mention the adorable moment where he caresses her head and how he was for her in such strong moments as the funeral of her "mother" and Kimura's death.

It would be higher but I think Warren's only flaw is that he thinks more about Laura changing or reducing her wild personality a little bit which lowers his points in my opinion, plus as such we didn't see an end to this relationship.

3. Kiden

She has been the most recent to give us this ship, the first person to meet Laura and from what they let us see the first to try to understand her, by the dialogues of Nyx #8 she shows us the love she has always had for her, seeing her not only as a friend but as one of the most important people in her life.

She loves her and I'm sure that whether she accepts her feelings or not, it won't affect that she still wants to protect Laura and just be in her life.

2. Synch

I know many don't like this ship either but personally, even though we didn't see much of it, there are things that say so much.

Just starting with spending a thousand years together and constantly protecting each other to the point of preferring to die for each other, not to mention that after leaving the vault Synch still loved his Laura but he knew that the one he saw in front of him was not her, even with that he could not avoid looking at her nor could he live the mourning because.... Do you really know for sure that she is dead? How can you grieve for someone who simply disappeared? The psychological point in this ship is powerful, when they meet again is one of the most emotional moments, even after having spent a thousand years together they don't separate, they treat each other with love and look at each other as if no one else in the world will matter, for me without like those grandparents couples that you want to see together always and even after so much together they still treat each other like two teenagers who just met and treat each other with love.

This ship doesn't have the best of endings however it is still poetic, as to whether I would like to see it with this current Laura? No, he himself says so, maybe she looks like his wife but she is not the one I love.

1. Hellion

Wow in first place? It must be a surprise for those who follow my blog.

Getting serious talking about this ship is a long but interesting one, I would say it is one of the most natural relationships since from the first meeting it is imperfect, however Julian from the first moment he meets her although he doesn't fully understand her he doesn't judge her, for both it is as if they feel a genuine curiosity for each other, being Julian the first person who even seeks to integrate her to his group.

Something that Julian shows many times throughout the comics is his willingness to break the rules or lose everything in exchange for helping her, this even not exactly with feelings involved but because "she's important too" being the first person to make her feel worth it if you ask me; In Nyx's most recent comic #8 she lets us see more of their relationship, talking about the constant support that there was a genuine and pure love, however maybe it wasn't the time to be, after all they were two broken people that no matter how much they wanted they couldn't depend on each other and needed to heal separately.

However, even though this hurt at the time, there are comics that give us to understand that they could at least remain as friends, I will highlight one of the most important moments in Laura's life, which is the funeral of her "mother", where there was only immediate family, important people for her... And Julian, someone who managed to understand her and even when things were over decided to support her, although there is no dialogue in the scene the simple fact of his presence says a lot.

This already became long but Julian in short for me deserves the number one spot for being the first to see her clear and transparent, deciding to love her like that.

As an extra to add I want to say that Marjorie Liu wrote the characters so badly that only two things can be rescued, and also highlight that in an alternate future if they remained a couple and only ended because Julian died, and yet Laura still loved him, so if that is not love, what is?

Honorable mentions

Elixir, Spiderman and Surge

I'm not going to explain my guilty pleasure for these three because this could have been the thesis of my career, I'll just let the images explain themselves.

[colebabey888]

Stop Giving A FUCK | The IT GIRL DIARIES

🩷loving myself unconditionally

i learnt to love myself unconditionally, i did this by first accepting my flaws. there was a time that i was someone i didn't like, did things that present me, would be disgusted by, but nonetheless I had to accept that girl that I was before, because it sounds cliché, but without her, I wouldn't be who I am today. So, accept the parts of yourself that you don't/didn't like and then you won't find the need for anyone else to.

🩷comfort in solitary

most people have a hard time being alone and this can actually be a very negative thing, when it comes to growing within and gaining independence. i used to be one of those people. being alone scared the sh!t out of me and this caused me to often mold myself into others perspective of who they wished me to be, just so I could be accepted and not be left alone. because of this, if i lost someone, a friend or a lover, i would break down and become so lost. eventually i grew out of this habit and it changed me entirely. being alone is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a pretty positive attribute to mental growth and stability. learn to be comfortable with yourself, in your own presence. a cliché saying "life is like a book, each chapter comes with different characters, some old and some new". when i began to find comfort in my own solitary, this phrase helped me a lot. everyone in your life is just side characters, no one is permanent. some people might stay and some might leave but the one who always remains, is yourself. be happy with just you. find peace within your own presence. this way, you will accept those who arrive, openly and walk away from those who leave, graciously.

🩷nothing is personal

it's human nature to project. whatever it may be, negativity or positivity, we as humans always project and the amazing about that is, we can choose whether to accept the projection or not. ( nothing other people do or say, is because of you. it's because of themselves - Don Miguel Ruiz ). i often used to take a lot of things personally, from people who didn't even know me personally. which is straight up stupid, because in reality, if someone doesn't know you, it is IMPOSSIBLE for them to judge or have an opinion of you or your character. if someone's insults you, it's not because what they're saying is true, it's because they're projecting their own negative mind. your mind is made up of thoughts you create regarding yourself, the way you see yourself, speak to yourself, is the way you see and speak to others, so in this case, if someone insults you, it's because they hate themselves, not you. you're just a vessel they're trying to pour into because they're too full of hate against themselves already, that they have to begin using others as their negative thoughts keeper. if they don't know you personally, don't take it personally. ( this paragraph is especially important to me and i learned a lot from reading THE FOUR AGREEMENTS By Don Miguel Ruiz and i urge you to do the same if you're struggling with taking things easily to heart )

🩷mistakes are just lessons

i often tend to hold myself accountable for a lot of mistakes I've made in the past. I live with a lot of regret, but as cliché as it may sound, the mistakes you've made in the past are what made you who you are today. In order to grow for the future, you have to accept all the mistakes you've made in the past, this can often be hard at times depending on what mistake it was that you made, but the way to make this easier, is to take your mistakes as lessons. If you do not agree with an action made by yourself from the past, do not repeat it for the future, if you ever find yourself in a similar situation as to when you made that mistake, go about a different route and the outcome will be different. you cannot change the past, all you can do is accept it, for the future.

mwah! xoxo, colebabey8.88

www.thedigitaldollar/gumroad.com

[moeitsu]

The Tie Which Linked My Soul To Thee

Summary: A well deserved hunt with Charles, met with an unexpected surprise back at camp...

Ao3  Wattpad Masterlist - All Chapters Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.6 Ch.7 Ch.8 Ch.9 Ch.10

Tags: Arthur Morgan/Original Female Character, Widowed, Original Character, Mutual Pining, Slow Build, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, High Honor Arthur Morgan, Friends to Lovers, Child Loss, Trauma, Canon-Typical Violence, Arthur Morgan Does Not Have Tuberculosis, Arthur Morgan Deserves Happiness, Chubby Arthur Morgan, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

Ch 5 - My Heart Beats On As Warmly Now

“What began as a journey had become a retreat into the unknown. We were backing into the abyss; so worried our sins would follow us we didn’t bother watching where we walked. And behind us was a cliff.” ~ Elsa Dutton 1883

Arthur’s anger dissolved with the storm, replaced by a heavy sense of regret as he trudged back to camp that evening. All he wanted was to drown his shame in a few bottles of liquor, away from prying eyes, away from the disappointment he felt in himself. He hadn’t intended for Kate to see that side of him, not yet at least. And certainly not against a sickly innocent man. He let his anger and frustrations get the better of him. Like he switched on auto-pilot and let the outlaw in him take control. He worried now that Kate might actually leave, and he blamed himself for that.

Swiftly, he made his way to the crate of beer bottles behind the chuck wagon, grabbing a few before retreating to his tent. He craved solitude, a respite from the demands of camp life, from the weight of his own mistakes.

Seated on his cot, a beer wedged between his legs, Arthur opened his journal, the one constant in his life since Dutch and Hosea taught him to read and write. It was his confidant, his sanctuary in a world of chaos. John always gave him shit for it growing up, calling him a pansy and constantly trying to snoop in his personal entries. 

Despite being in a gang for most of his life, he still felt incredibly lonely. There weren't many people he would truly open up to. So his journal became that person. It was the one thing that did not judge him, ever. But even as he poured his thoughts onto the page, he longed for a human connection, someone to truly understand him.  

Hosea and Dutch had been like parents to him, raising him from a young age in the ways of the outlaw. They had their flaws, but they had also shown him kindness and guidance when he needed it most. He always saw Hosea as his father, he would consider Dutch his father too, although he was more like an older brother at times. Hosea was probably the only person who truly knew Arthur, and saw the things he wished not to speak about. Neither parent was perfect by any means, and Arthur could recognize that. But even as an adult, there is still a child inside that longs for the comfort of a father. 

It was that fatherly instinct that drove Hosea to Arthurs tent that night.

“Evening Arthur,” he greeted, holding open the tent flap, “may I come in?” 

He put down his journal and nodded. Gesturing for Hosea to join him on his cot. 

“I noticed Kate didn’t ride back with you, is she okay out in this storm?” He inquired.

Arthur smiled with a slight shake of his head, that's Hosea for you. Always worried about others, here he was checking on his son but was more concerned about the lady he left behind. 

“I’m sure she’s fine, saw her heading into Valentine,” he answered, taking a sip of his beer. He handed one of the full bottles to Hosea as the older gentleman sat down.

“I take it things didn't go well then,” he said with a hint of sympathy.

Arthur sighed, “when do they ever.” 

As they sat together in the dim light, the rain drumming softly on the canvas roof, Arthur felt a sense of comfort in Hosea’s presence. He didn’t need to explain himself, didn’t need to justify his actions. Hosea simply listened, offering silent support.

“I don’t know why I do it,” he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. “The man was sick and weak, I should've just given him a warning.” Arthur concluded with a shake of his head. 

Hosea sighed knowingly. “I think you can blame your fathers for that son,” taking a sip to clear his throat, “Dutch and I did what we thought was best at the time and well, you were quite impressionable when you were young. We used that to our advantage to turn you into a grade A outlaw.” He said gently with honesty. 

Arthur chuckled at the memories of his youth, before John came along he was the golden child. He used to love it when Dutch would teach him how to pick locks, or when Hosea taught him a whole book of curse words. Had he not been the son of outlaws, his life would’ve looked very differently. 

“We’ll always be thieves,” he mused with a hint of nostalgia, “only difference now is that the world don't want us no more.” 

Hosea nodded, silently agreeing, “We're doomed just like every other creature on this rock Arthur,” he remarked with a wry smile. “I just wish I had acquired that wisdom at less of a price.” 

After a moment of contemplative silence, Arthur spoke, his voice heavy with regret. "I just wish I’d done things differently," he admitted, his gaze fixed on the floor. His remorse mixed with his actions at the Downes ranch, and for every mistake he’s made in the past that led him here. 

Hosea laid a comforting hand on Arthur's shoulder, a silent gesture of understanding. "We can't change the past, son," he said gently. "All we can do is learn from it and strive to do better in the future."

Arthur nodded, the weight of Hosea's words settling over him like a blanket of reassurance. "I don't want to be the kind of man who hurts others for no good reason," he confessed, his voice tinged with vulnerability. "I want to be better, for Kate, for everyone."

Hosea squeezed Arthur's shoulder affectionately before rising to his feet. “She’ll come around, son.” He offered a parting reminder, “underneath it all, you have a good heart.”

Before he disappeared into the night, Hosea turned back with a final piece of news. “By the way, your brother wants to speak with you about using that oil cart you found to rob the train tomorrow night.”

Arthur scoffed, shaking his head. “He ain’t my brother,” he muttered disdainfully.

Hosea chuckled. “Well, you two sure argue like brothers. G’night, Arthur.”

He tipped his head to the old man as he left, “night Pa.” 

Arthur laid back on his cot, tucking his journal into his satchel when something small and round fell out and made a soft pitter on the ground. When he looked down he saw the peach pit, the one Kate gave him on her first night. He reached to pick up the small seed. His thumb ran over its hard wrinkles. 

He held it tight to his chest, and silently promised he would make things right with Kate. If he ever saw her again. 

━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━

Kate took in a deep breath of the crisp morning air, reveling in the freshness that lingered after the storm had passed in the night. The scent of newly sprouted grass and moist earth filled her senses, while dew-kissed leaves sparkled under the gentle caress of the rising sun. A light breeze danced around her, carrying the promise of spring on its wings. It felt like the start of something new as if the world itself was awakening alongside her. It was the perfect day for a ride.

She met Charles in the early morning, exactly where he said he’d be. Waiting for her to begin their journey into the wild lands in hopes of finding a fresh hunt. They were a few hours into their journey now, heading north into Ambarino to hunt cow elk. Just one 200 pound elk is enough to feed the entire camp for a month. Maybe more. It was a day's ride there and back, short enough to keep the meat fresh in time. 

With a satisfied sigh, Kate exhaled the tension from her shoulders, “this is exactly what I needed Charles, thank you.”

Charles smiled warmly, guiding his horse closer to hers. "Thanks for joining me, Kate," he replied, his own gratitude evident in his tone.

With her face tilted to the sun, she savored the moment. Allowing Lorena to guide her. A silent trust shared between them, that her mare will take her where she needs to go. “You know, I always thought you preferred hunting alone. I never see anyone go with you.” Kate remarked, eyes still closed in bliss. 

Charles nodded thoughtfully. "Arthur and I have gone together a few times, but other than that, I don't seek much company from the others," he admitted, his words tinged with honesty. It was clear that while he valued his fellow gang members, solitude was his preferred companion in the wild.

“That why you’re always so quiet?” She inquired, innocently. 

Charles chuckled softly. "If the choice is folks thinking I'm dumb but not knowing for sure, and folks knowing I'm dumb because I sound like them, I think I'd rather keep them wondering," he explained with a grin. The confidence in his voice a testament to his strength. 

Kate chuckled, her eyes reflecting understanding. "I get that. Sometimes it's better to keep people guessing," she replied. Under her breath she added, “I know some of those men can be pretty dumb,” loud enough for Charles to hear.

Charles exclaimed in frustration, “tell me about it! All this death and for what? Just so we can have enough money to be able to run from what we've done?” 

Kate pondered for a moment, she still didn't know what happened all those weeks ago that drove the gang of outlaws here. It was the one piece of information they didn’t talk about around her. Perhaps Charles would share the missing pieces. “What happened to everyone to cause you to run?” Her tone colored with genuine curiosity. 

As Charles recounted the events of that fateful day, Kate couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness for what they must have been through. The gang did not like to talk about Blackwater, and the consequences must have been devastating.

"It was a fucking execution," he began, his voice tinged with regret. "We thought it would a simple job robbing a ferry, carrying payroll. But there were civilians too." Kate could already imagine where this led. $5000 for his head alone, the words echoed in her mind. 

“We raised a lot of hell that day, and things got out of control. Next thing we know, the Pinkertons are on us along with the law. And everyone just starts shooting. I don't know which one of us shot first but that's all it took. There were passengers caught in the crossfire.” He shook his head with disappointment. She couldn't imagine the terror those innocent people must have felt as they found themselves caught in the chaos. 

“Dutch he,” Charles hesitated, “he killed a young girl. Just to get the law off him. And no one batted an eye.” His voice heavy with emotion. Her stomach churned at the thought of such senseless violence. “We lost three good people, and John barely made it out alive.”

He turned, facing her, "I don't kill for fun Kate; I kill when I need to," he urged, his tone pleading. It was clear that he was grappling with the moral implications of their actions, and Kate couldn't help but admire his integrity in the face of such darkness. One so hauntingly familiar. 

“Arthur came out different after Blackwater,” he added with a sigh. 

“Being an outlaw can’t be easy,” Kate added, trying to lighten the mood. She understood the hardships and turmoil that came with senseless violence. 

Charles huffed and shook his head at the memory, “easy certainly wasn't in the job description.” 

As they rode on, the weight of their conversation hung heavy between them. She couldn't shake the feeling that they were all running from something far greater than the law. A feeling she was not immune to. 

━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━

Their hunt had been successful, tracking and swiftly killing a massive elk. They settled in for a fire and camped near a lake for the night. Enjoying fresh fish for dinner. In the morning they tied their game to the back of Taima, and began their journey back to camp. Kate’s spirit felt lightened in a way, the two of them spent most of the night sharing stories. And she realized she and Charles had a lot in common. A gentle reminder that she is not entirely alone in her struggles. 

The ride home went by quickly, and with the sun tickling the horizon, they arrived at the great plains of New Hanover, and eventually, the familiar overlook. 

As they rode into camp, the air was thick with urgency, Miss Grimshaw's voice cutting through the chaos. "Alright girls, everything into the wagons, now!" she barked, her tone sharp. 

Charles swiftly brought their kill to the chuck wagon, while Kate hurriedly dismounted and rushed to join the flurry of activity. The girls worked frantically, packing crates with blankets and clothing, fear etched on their faces.

"What's happening?" Kate asked, her voice tinged with concern.

Mary-Beth paused in her task, her expression grim. "Arthur and John got into trouble with the law in Valentine," she explained, her hands moving quickly. "Dutch says we need to leave, fast."

A surge of panic swept over Kate at the thought of Arthur and John in danger. "Did they get caught?" she asked, her heart pounding.

Mary-Beth shook her head. "I don't know," she admitted, sympathy in her eyes. "But we have to go."

As Kate’s mind began to spiral with the worst outcomes imaginable, a voice rose above the commotion. Speaking of the man himself. 

Dutch's voice cut through the chaos. "Charles!" he called out, his tone urgent. "Find Arthur at Dewberry Creek, we need a new hideout." Charles turned on his heel with a nod, mounting Taima and taking off back down the trail they came in on only a moment ago. 

With his words she felt a sudden sense of relief, Arthur is okay. Their last conversation weighed heavy on her heart. And she would be damned if that was the last time they spoke. 

Dutch's voice commanded attention once more. "When they give us the all clear, we move out! Let's get to work, people!" he shouted.

Mary-Beth and Tilly went back to their work and left Kate alone with her thoughts. She returned to her belongings, packing quickly. But her moment of respite was short-lived as a sickeningly familiar voice cut through the air like a bullet.

“Well hello Kate,” Micah said with disdain and arrogance. 

“I don’t have time for your bullshit Micah,” Kate retorted, her patience wearing thin. 

Micah advanced, his eyes blazing with hostility. "Funny how you show up right when trouble finds us," he taunted.

Kate scoffed, the idea completely absurd, “you idiots robbed a fucking train, did you seriously expect a welcome home party?” She shot back, her voice filled with sarcasm.

Micah's gaze narrowed. "We were set up in Valentine, someone ratted us out," he growled, his words dripping with bitterness. 

“I was just hunting with Charles,” she explained, not bothering to hide the bite in her voice, she refused to play his game. 

Micah approached with malice, his fist twitched at his side, ready to pull his pistol any moment. "Well Charles ain't here now,” he gestured around the camp, “and we think it was you," he hissed, the accusation cutting through the chaos.

Realization dawned on her that he was setting her up, but the reason why was still unclear. “And when Charles comes back he can testify to that,” she spat, turning to continue her packing. 

He closed the distance between them with predatory grace. In one swift motion, he raised his pistol. Before Kate could react, the butt of the gun connected with her temple, sending a searing pain shooting through her skull. Stars exploded behind her eyelids as she stumbled backward, the world spinning dizzily around her. Darkness threatened to engulf her. 

As she struggled to regain her bearings, Micah loomed over her, a twisted smirk playing across his lips, “we’ll be long gone by the time they come back princess.” 

With a sickening thud, Kate's head hit the ground, the impact reverberating through her skull. As the world faded into blackness, she felt herself being pulled into an abyss of darkness. The last sound echoing in her ears was the distant whinny of Lorena, a mournful cry that seemed to fade into the void. 

━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━

The commotion of the camp kept her drifting in and out of consciousness for the next hour. She heard Abigail's voice call out to Kate in concern, and Micah snapped back warning her to keep her distance. She also realized her wrists had been bound along with her ankles, with Micah standing guard over her like a dog. Like she could run away in this state anyways. 

The darkness began to creep in again, and in a moment she awoke and Micah was gone. It was almost dark and she was in a different spot now, away from the center of camp and behind the tree line. That fucking bastard tried to leave me here. She thought with bitterness. 

In the midst of the chaos, a familiar voice pierced through the camp, but Kate's mind was still swimming in a fog of confusion. Wagons rattled as they hurriedly departed the overlook, leaving Kate struggling to make sense of the commotion. Summoning all her strength, she pushed herself up onto her knees, squinting through the haze.

Then, like a beacon in the night, Arthur's horse appeared, Belle’s white coat gleaming amidst the darkness. With a surge of relief, Kate locked eyes with Arthur, who rushed over to her side, his expression etched with concern.

Her consciousness flickered like a dim candle in the wind as she slowly regained awareness. The throbbing pain in her head was a harsh reminder of what had just transpired. Blinking away the haze, her vision blurry.

"Kate? Are you alright?" Arthur's voice cut through the fog, filled with concern as he took in the sight of her bound wrists and ankles. Swiftly dismounting Belle and pulling a knife from his belt to cut her free. 

Her head throbbed as she recounted what happened and she felt sick in the stomach. She couldn’t stay with them anymore, not after this. Micah was a real problem, and if what Charles told her about Blackwater is true, then Dutch is likely the same. 

“I’m okay,” she answered wearily, “Micah set me up,” a hint of fear mixed with rage creeped into her voice. Arthur helped her rise to her feet, just as the last wagons were leaving the overlook. Without missing a beat she turned to find her horse. 

Arthur was slightly taken aback, unsure if she was still upset with him from the nights before, all while trying to make sense as to why Micah had set her up. 

“I-I’m sorry Kate,” he pleaded, “I shoulda been here,” his voice was laced with remorse. His strides quickened as he closed the distance between them. Kate's heart clenched at the sincerity in his voice, but she knew she couldn't stay.

“It’s not your fault,” she reassured, “but I have to leave.” She decided in the moment, ripping the bandaid clean off. She longed to stay with Arthur and the gang, but she no longer wanted part in this trouble. “Goodbye Arthur,” she bid him a solemn farewell.

“Kate,” he called out, desperation filling the air. He wanted to stop her, to grab her and beg her to explain what happened with Micah. But the look in her eyes told him everything he needed to know, she had made up her mind. So all he could do was stand and watch as she rode off. 

She clutched at Lorena’s reins, taking off in the same direction as the wagons, intending to ride past them and make her way to Rhodes, hopefully putting enough distance between them so she could get her bearings and be on the move again. Her heart raced with adrenaline and disappointment. Things could not have taken a turn for the worst. 

She used the darkness to her advantage, slipping away from the wagons as they took a path down following the railroad tracks, while Kate veered off towards the twin stacks. As she climbed altitude she watched the wagons below, specifically watching Arthur take off behind them, his mare flying through the train of carts and horses like a butterfly dancing between flowers. 

She paused for a moment, letting herself consider that perhaps she wasn't just running away out of fear, but something else as well. She thought about the girls, and Charles, who had just become a dear friend after their hunting trip. She thought about Abigail, who must be clutching little Jack close to her heart at this moment, praying John will see his family out of this alive. Her last conversation with Arthur still ate at her heart, so many words went unspoken that she wished she had said that night. 

Memories of her past came back in waves along with the painful throb of where she had been hit with Micah’s gun. Her fear, mixed with her disappointment and anger. A reminder of her own weakness. 

Yet, she decided long ago that she would never live in that kind of world again, where the weak would rather guilt the strong than become strong themselves. This world doesn’t care what the weak want. This world eats the weak. Therefore, she became strong. 

The sudden sound of gun fire dragged her from her thoughts, she rode farther up the slope looking for the source of the noise. She saw in the distance the tiny images of wagons and horses, and a group of raiders descending to their location.. 

Gripping the reins with such ferocity, Lorena reared on her hind legs as Kate spun her around and took off back down the slope. She would not let death sink its venomous teeth into the belly of another. 

[bharv]

Feel free to ignore but: do you feel that gortash is - I guess the word I'd use is "good" - at sex? By whatever metric you'd judge that?

Hey anon I LOVE THIS QUESTION and I can't be normal about it!

So I have to dive into it a bit into sections because there's a lot going on here for me and obviously the caveat here is this is my opinion, this is my opinion from inferences from the text, this is my opinion.

So in order to do this we need to cover a few sections: sexual education, sexual agency, sex as tool and sex as desire.

All of this is going under the cut for discussions of childhood abuse, canon inferences, decisions he makes in game, and some headcanons around agency and dub/non-con that readers may find uncomfortable.

so, let's start at the very beginning with:

Sexual Education

There are two things we know about young Enver Flymm. One is that he was raised in a small cobblers workshop where he shared a single room with his parents. The other is that at some point, he was taken to the literal hells where he suffered an incredibly physically abusive situation.

We don't know for sure the exact age he was taken, but I think it's easy to infer that he was prepubescent when he was taken from the way he is spoken about as a snot, a boy etc. by Nubaldin. Even if he was a little older, it's safe to infer that he didn't have a particularly healthy environment to learn about sex and sexuality either at home or in literal hell.

If we assume Enver was in hell, we know that the sex he would have potential been aware of was largely non-consensual. There's references all over the place about his fellow detainee Hope being sexually and physically assaulted as well as psychologically manipulated. We don't know with Enver if he ages in the hells (I assume he does, and that it is only those who sell their souls and end up there after death that do not age) but if he does, he goes from childhood to early adulthood, ten years, in this space (mirrored in Karlach spending ten years there as well, interestingly.)

We also don't actually know how he escaped the hells, and it is a niche headcanon (which I have also put into my works) that he as a young adult learned about sex and traded with Haarlep to find his route out (in my stories, this directly feeds into Mephistopheles being interested in the potential of this boy, and letting him steal the crown.) There's no text basis for this, it just neatly ties up some thematic threads and I think can be put aside and it still doesn't change the core that:

Enver Gortash had no way of having a healthy understanding of sex as a teenager. There isn't really any way that he could have! Either he's living in a one-bed apartment with abusive parents who hate his existence, or he's learning from Raphael's example in literal hell.

Sexual Agency

This is where a lot of people feel differently, but again, we can look at things as they are and then make some inferences.

Enver Gortash does not have a named spouse, or any named mistresses/side pieces/conquests. Anything. There is no evidence of anything (we will come to Durge later.) Compare this to Sarevok, who has two named partners and is inferred to have had others, and it is an interesting choice to have zero ties. It's particularly interesting because as a Lord, he would be expected to be thinking of siring a house, and as a man in power, the narrative expectation would be to find evidence of sex as a benefit of his position. We don't see any evidence of that.

There is a read that many, including me, bring to the fondness that The Dark Urge and Gortash have for each other, but again, there is no evidence that this is sexual or if it is, that it was ever something than a mutual pining. That's the joy of fanworks, you can grow on what's there, but it's not explicit that it's anything more than mutual admiration.

So for me? I think that there is significant evidence that he doesn't prioritise sexual attraction and fulfilment over other areas of reward.

Sex as a Tool

What we do know though is that he has used his body to get things he wants. The Jannath letter, which I love, makes it clear that he had sex with her for financial favours and clout, and that she indulged him in this. He's also more than happy to trade on his image in every way he can. I think it's easy to infer from this that he is, at least in one setting, able to give people what they want out of sex. Whether that means he's technically good OR he's good at constructing and fulfilling the fantasy, I think that's up to interpretation, but I think he knows what to do when it is a performance, and if there's something he can tangibly get out of it like money, power, the ability to blackmail somebody later, then that is the element that is getting him off, not the sex itself. Sex for gain is just another part of his arsenal, to be refined and researched like anything else, and picked up and put down as useful to him.

Sex as Desire

And this is --and it is completely up to interpretation here, I'm just rolling with the other things I see -- where it can potentially all fall apart for Gortash. If he actually likes somebody, if there is a desire or an affection or anything like that, and if he is able to even feel emotions like that, what does he do with them? It's not useful, it's not contained, it's not part of the punishment he learned in the hells or the seduction he learned in the patriars. If he does find himself genuinely fond of another person, how can that fit in his ideas of sex? Personally, I don't think it can do, and there's lots of ways to play with that. In my own stories, the sexual contact he has with Manva is brief, quite one-sided, and quite regressive. He is no charming seducer, but instead taken back to something much simpler that he likely didn't have space for when he was young. He has other encounters where he can't get it up, or can't climax, because the circumstances aren't quite right, the promise of power is not enough, or the partner is too willing (not like he has learned of in the hells at all.)

I think personally that if he does seek out recreational sex, then it is primarily going to be motivated by power play. And I don't think this is well negotiated kink territory. He plays with the player character constantly, testing them, destroying their reputation in the press quest, always vying for more power even when you are apparently allies. This is a man who always, always needs to know he can change the tide.

I think of the woman whose voice was used in the necrotic laboratory, who was stolen away with a promise of a better life. I think of Fariza Linnacker. There's no evidence either were sexual, but we do know that he took great pleasure in manipulating and destroying their lives.

Gortash has so much going on around sex as a tool, as a weapon even, that when it comes to a genuine connection, there's every possibility that he cannot perform at all.

And would that make him embarrassed? Angry? Would he blame? Lash out? Would he seek out professionals to replay old traumas as a "safe space"? Would he avoid all intimacy because he sees it as weak and disgusting? I think there's a lot of scope within this.

So the short version is... I think he's able to be good at sex when it's FOR something. But I don't know if he's even interested when it's not, and if he is, I think he has a long way to go to actively want to seek it out. And is he good in the way that it is connected, intimate? Probably not.

[let-us-cultivate-our-garden]

So I don’t know if you know of Doug Walker, but recently released his Disneycember review of The Owl House.

While he praised a majority of the show, he criticized the main villain, Belos, of how he was written.

Many of the comments tried to defend the writing of the villain.

Doug Walker..

Now that's a name I haven't heard in a long time.

Yes, I am very familiar with Doug Walker; I loved his stuff along with Channel Awesome years ago and then the allegations came out and fortunately, the other contributors on that channel moved onto bigger and better things. Meanwhile, Doug just stayed the same, so I don't watch his stuff anymore.

Any way, I think it's funny people are scrambling to defend Belos' writing because, despite my own personal opinions on Doug as a critic, I actually agree with him.

For a show that is ostensibly about subverting tropes and not judging a book by its cover, by showing how people can choose to change or not, etc. Belos is a throwback to an earlier era where the Big Bad had basic motivations and characterizations. And for a show like toh, that actually ends up hurting the narrative.

I have categorized the comments I found defending the writing and here are my responses to them:

Belos does have a deeper layer, you just have to look for it.

While a show can certainly foreshadow and provide little hints about a major character, eventually all of that setup will have to pay off somehow. There has to be a reveal both to reward the viewers that have been paying attention and to inform more casual viewers who may not have. Fans analyzing every little frame to extrapolate a major character's backstory only for that backstory to really not matter in the end despite it being set up for a season is just bad writing. full stop. [A viewer should also not have to look on social media for crucial information on a major character.]

It's also not clever that the show left so much room for interpretation on Belos; it just means that they didn't make a commitment to what was being set up and reduced his character to glib one-liners whenever we learn something interesting about him (Masha's "little bro was jealous of big bro" line and Papa Titan's whole spiel).

2. Belos would have been written better if the show had more time.

The Toh crew knew about the cancellation during production of Eda's Requiem and wrote all of 2B with it in mind. So they knew they were working on a time crunch but still introduced elements like the Collector when they should have spent the time wrapping up their story. The cancellation is not an excuse for sloppy writing.

3. Belos as a villain works more on a meta level.

So the argument here is that Belos is the antithesis to the BI; it's accepting and diverse while he is hateful and only accepts things that conform to his worldview. The characters in the story change and grow, while Belos does not. The problem here is that a villain can't only work on a meta level, it has to work on a narrative one as well.

If the BI is place that accepts weirdos then how did someone like Belos come to power? Oh, he lied his way to the top and created problems that never existed? That just makes your populace look dumb and easily manipulated. The BI being so accepting also undermines the threat credibility of the Emperor's Coven because why should we worry about them if they have no real influence over how the BI residents think or behave aside from when the plot needs them to?

Also, I strongly disagree with anyone who says that toh has a "people are complicated and choose to do good and bad" theme when all of the good characters can blame their bad actions on being manipulated or on circumstances outside of their control OR the narrative ignores/downplays anything bad they did (cough cough Amity and Lilith). Meanwhile, the villains are just shallow with basic motives and this is supposed to be a deep message about how Some People Are Just Bad.

If you're going to contrast why your good characters are capable of growth then you need to show why your villain does not. What is stopping them? How do they react if given a legitimate reason to change (that isn't a cheap jab at Steven Universe)? What is their justification for their actions?

Whatever the answer is, the narrative has to support it and not undermine it with a stupid joke.

4. Belos is so refreshing when every villain character is redeemed.

Watch more shows. If you think that every cartoon villain post-Steven Universe is being redeemed then you're incorrect. Redemption of a show or movie's Big Bad is still in the minority while the redemption of the main villain's lackey is a dime-a-dozen.

Ultimately, I think the problem with toh is that so many of its fans take its thematic statements at face value without ever really stopping to think about the execution of those themes and if they really work or not.

Belos just happens to embody this little trick that toh does: it claims to have bold and timely statements and important themes, but the structure and execution of the plot, character development, and world-building undermines any attempt at a consistent or coherent message.

[feminismisstillahatemovement]

I have some things to rant about, so buckle up buttercup. I’m a woman btw.

I know the election was a while ago now, and I’m not even American, but I wouldn’t have voted for either of them. Trump? No. Harris? No.

why? Trump is a shitty person. He renamed the Gulf of Mexico to the gulf of America. No one’s calling it that. He wants his face on Mount Rushmore. He doesn’t deserve to be up there with the likes of Abraham Lincoln. He’s racist. He’s sexist. wtf.

Kamala Harris is a crazy lady. Remember when she kept on changing her accent? Tf was that.

My thoughts on trans rights are: no giving hormones to kids. If they want to dress as the opposite gender, and be referred to as the opposite gender, that’s fine. No hormones until they’re 18. Or older.

Is being gay a choice? No. Can you overcome it? With help from the Lord you can. Will I judge people for being gay? No. I really do try not to judge people.

Abortion is wrong. Yes, I respect the ‘my body my choice’ and I won’t hate on a woman who’s had an abortion. But women who keep getting pregnant and having abortions over and over again? Again, I’m not going to hate, I’m just saying that it’s wrong.

I truly believe in the ‘not all men’ argument. But shit is it hard sometimes, especially with men like you. Grow a pair. Please. And stop it with the ‘tattoos take away from a woman’s natural beauty’ thing. It’s boring. It’s nasty. Shut up. A woman should be able to do what she wants with her appearance and not have men like you hating on it.

"I have some things to rant about, so buckle up buttercup. I’m a woman btw."

I could already tell that because of your snarky tone and assumption it is vitally important I personally and individually hear your unasked-for opinions on every topic under the sun, because you take for granted I will think they matter. You could be transgender too, though. Or just mentally ill and incapable of not blurting your every thought out at all times.

"Trump is a shitty person... He’s racist. He’s sexist. wtf."

I don't think there's any good reason to believe either of those things are true, so we're not off to a good start.

"My thoughts on trans rights are:"

No-one cares.

"Is being gay a choice? No. Can you overcome it? With help from the Lord you can."

Didn't see that coming.

"Abortion is wrong. Yes, I respect the ‘my body my choice’ and I won’t hate on a woman who’s had an abortion. But women who keep getting pregnant and having abortions over and over again? Again, I’m not going to hate, I’m just saying that it’s wrong."

Again, no-one cares: these are simply your private opinions that are presented without any evidence or moral argument, so you may as well be telling me it's urgently important I hear you think it's wrong someone prefers a different chocolate bar to you.

"I truly believe in the ‘not all men’ argument."

I feel the same way about women, but then this kind of meaningless, self-entitled drivel is sent to my inbox, living up to every solipsistic stereotype.

"Grow a pair. Please."

You see, this doesn't naturally follow from anything you've previously said above: it's simply an insult, attempting to shame someone into agreeing with all your arbitrary opinions of life, in order to make yourself feel more comfortable, because that is your only aim in life.

"stop it with the ‘tattoos take away from a woman’s natural beauty’ thing. It’s boring. It’s nasty."

But true.

"Shut up."

I think I choose not to.

"A woman should be able to do what she wants with her appearance and not have men like you hating on it."

A person has the right to do whatever they want with their appearance, but they don't have the right to dictate everyone else's opinion of them. That's how being alive in the world works.

You follow me for my opinions, which you apparently don't even like: you could stop hearing them simply by unfollowing me or blocking, but instead you had to randomly tell me all of yours, at length, even though I've given you no reason to think I have any interest in hearing them. That's very silly behaviour.

I will help you out and block your account so you no longer need be troubled by seeing any opinions on the internet that diverge from your own. I'm sure this is the last time that awful experience will ever happen to you.

[shabbyshoebox]

I talk about my superiority issues!

I think that not being heard as a child combined with constantly being praised for being smart did end up messing me up bad. We love a superiority complex (/s)!

I have this thing where I subconsciously see myself as the smartest/best/specialest person in the room and if that turns out to not be the case I get really insecure and weird and irrationally angry???

My old therapist pointed out that I seemed to take every interaction as a competition (which I vehemently disagreed with at the time, iirc. But of course, like many things that piss you off in therapy, it's a needed observation)

But the thing is, it's not really clocked by others because you know, you're supposed to make people feel good, and you're not supposed to be a pretentious ass. Being a good person means being kind and understanding to others. By doing this I managed to have relationships, but because I never externally expressed these things, those ideas were never challenged and I kept them. Because I didn't feel comfortable expressing that side of myself, others could not redirect me.

Growing up, I wasn't given the opportunity to be heard. Mentally, it grew from "no one tries to understand me" to "no one can understand me", putting myself on a pedestal and distancing myself further from my peers. I was already born with two neurodevelopmental disorders (like most in my family), so I already felt majorly disconnected from the majority of the "human" experience. In fact, I actively sought out books with animal protagonists because I could relate to them better than the ones with kids I was "supposed" to relate to.

Because of my superiority issues, I've had a hard time connecting with people. I don't give people enough chances to understand me because I don't know if they can and I'm anxious about being judged (who isn't)?

I'm trying to combat it by mentally thinking "this person is smarter than me" when I'm talking with someone, which seems to be helping a bit, still a long ways to go.

I feel weird talking about it, because, again, it feels bad to talk to others about it. Like: "Hello friend, I've subconsciously viewed myself as above you for our entire relationship, can you comfort me about it and emotionally connect with me as if I didn't just insult you and our friendship?"

Like, no, that's batshit. I can't expect anyone to have no reaction to that and to keep calm while I talk to them about that sort of thing.

So, by addressing this externally via textpost, I should hopefully begin to work through this.

In the meantime, I'm developing some affirmations that may help me:

People are smarter than me

People are more skilled than me

People are capable of understanding me

I am capable of expressing myself in a way that others can understand

People are worth asking advice from

Others' skill is something to be admired, not envied

I'm not skilled enough to do everything. That's okay. Acknowledge those who are skilled for their dedication and growth.

I need help from others

Others can help me

Other people are not my competition

In conclusion, I'm trying. I'm acknowledging the problem. My feelings may be upsetting to people, and that's okay. I'm trying to understand that it's not impossible for me to be understood. I'm trying to understand that I am capable of using my words to describe how I am feeling in an accurate way. I'm trying to understand that people being upset with me is not an indicator that I'm misunderstood.

Thank y'all for listening.

(I accidentally added a poll and can't remove it because I'm on mobile, sooo)

[og-penelope-eckart]

Do you truly think that Reynold is a bad person or just stupid and dense because I think he's genuinely stupid af and that's why I genuinely love him.

Like all the times he killed Penelope were literally because Reynold is way too stupidly impulsive unlike Derrick Reynold doesn't actually take the two seconds it would take to think things through.

I don't think Reynold was as in the wrong as the fandom makes him out to be. I think Reynold had a inferiority complex that he wrongly took out on Penelope what do you think?

Not a single vadd character is a good person. They are all varying degrees of grey to dark and Reynold probably does belong to the lighter gray-scale and that's why he may seem like a good person because the contrast between him and the other character seems to be so much starker, but in reality it's because the other character is so much worse and not because Reynold is so much better. In Reynolds case it really helps that his brother is Derrick. Anyone would look like a saint next to him.

Reynold is just written with the intend to make him seem sympathic to the readers. That he gifts Penelope bunnies or defends her now in front of others doesn't undo the damage he caused. Penelope spend six years in hell and he was the catalyst for it. Reynold has to make sacrifices and suffer to atone for what he has done wrong, but giving someone gifts when you are rich can hardly be called a sacrifice. He asked the Duke to punish him and is now sweating in the training yard. It's a start, I guess. I just wish he was man's enough to assemble the staff at the same place where he had accused Penelope wrongly and confessed the truth in front of the entire duchy, asking Penelope for an appropiate punishment and not his father who shared his blame. The people are still ignorant about the true reasons why Penelope acted out when she was little. Telling only the duke and punishing himself in private doesn't set things right for Penelope, it only eases his own conscience. If Penelope had never found out, it literally would have changed nothing, because Reynold did not confess to her and was instead directing the words he should have said to her directly towards their father.

I agree that he was probably clueless about most of the things happening inside the Eckart duchy, that's why I find the reveal that he's been the real culprit of the stolen necklace incident so ooc. Unlike Derrick, Reynold has always been straight-forward and honest in his hatred. Rather than Reynold being dumb, I think he's impulsive, acting without thinking, controlled by whichever emotion that is the strongest is currently possessing his body, and then when the fight is over and the damage is done, he refuses to think deeper to avoid confronting the possibility that he had been in the wrong. I think that Reynold has a hard time regulating his emotions. He believes what is most comfortable to him and aligns with his family code. If Derrick is the mind of the Eckart duchy, then Reynold is the heart. Reynold leaves the thinking to others, he trusts too much. He's naive and hasn't been taught to look beyond the surface. Reynold never had to adjust to the world while growing up, as the child of nobles the world bended to him and he was expecting his needs to be tended to. The Eckart staff accommodated to him. Like many noble children he's never faced hardships before and can't even begin to imagine how life as a war orphan in the slums of Eorka must have been like, which caused him to judge Penelope from an ivory tower.

But all this should not be an exuse for his horrible actions. His motivations or reasons are irrelevant. If a man has an inferiority complex towards a woman (I don't think it's an inferiority complex tbh) and behaves aggressive towards her until he kills her by accident, then he is still a criminal and should be judged as such. That he has the impulse control of a child is not a very good defense. Reynold didn't intend to kill her but he was going to push her and hurt her. And it did result in manslaughter. In. Multiple. Timelines. The circumstances surrounding her death in the bad endings caused by Reynold, indicate that Reynold doesn't shy away from physical violence towards a girl. It is very likely he did hurt Penelope frequently. Has it been revealed yet what caused Penelope to break her bones when she was little? Because I don't buy it that she fell when climbing. I could imagine that Reynold would lash out at her and then regret it when he sees what he has done (a bleeding nose, a split lip, a contusion) and give her a dessert and beg her not to tell father and Penelope being so hungry from being starved by the maids she agrees to the deal. He was a bully. He was a spoiled rich brat who had the means availible to him to learn and change, but didn't bother.

Reynold is a bad person, but a bad person can be a sympathic person. As a shitty elder brother he feels real. I don't believe the Eckarts will ever change their way of thinking. They'll remain bad people but they will treat Penelope better and that's why people are willing to overlook their flaws. You can like him, there's no shame in liking a bad person, especially in a work filled with characters that are doing morally reprehensible things. I just don't think what he did should be excused. The Eckarts made a fortune from the conquest of foreign countries and the exploitation of slaves in the mining business. The fact that Reynold belongs to this family and benefits from the oppression of Delmans makes him complicit in the Empire's war crimes and should be enough evidence that he is a bad person. It's a fallacy of thinking to determine a characters moral alignment based on the way they treat the heroine. Take a look at how they treat other characters from low stations for example. If the Eckarts insult and abuse Iklies, then this is a reflectation for how they would treat any other slave. They didn't give a shit about the maid killed in her prison cell either. They were just upset that it would make the investigation more difficult. Many of the knights training in the Eckart duchy are rotten people. And Reynold hangs around the knights, right? The kind of people you choose to surround yourself are often a mirror of your own personality.

[olderthannetfic]

please, send help. i (23y/o) think i am getting to a stage where I need to be a Cool Aunt TM for my niece (13y/o). She's been a bit too online since she had to move around a lot. She had a bit of antis mentality, but i'm trying to pull her away from it slowly. At the same time, she's been around the internet, reading 18+ yaois and shit. I did the same at her age, so I can’t say I don't understand her. But as an adult idk how to talk about this 18+ healthily with her? or do I even need to? should I leave her on her own devices? I didn't have an adult to talk about these things with growing up so idk how you're supposed to do this.

There is not way to say how my parents or sibling (her mom) would react if I drop this on them, could be +/- , but it's a bit of a lottery depending on the most recent online articles they read lately. lol. They're open to convos, but a bit religious.

I'm taking suggestions if anybody would like to give some.

P.S. I am also not a cool person, i'm pretty much a lame homebody so… i also don’t know how to be cool lol.

im so sorry idk who else to ask.

--

Ahaha. Well, don't try too hard to be ~cool~. Nothing could be more offensive to the sensibilities of a 13-year-old.

A well delivered "Oh, come on, no one really thinks that" and eye-roll in response to the more delusional anti stuff has a wonderful effect if you're offline and the person respects you. Humans in general and 13-year-olds in particular are hypersensitive about fitting in. A boring and serious lecture from an older person will set off every melodramatic "The old people don't understaaaand!" instinct, but a well-timed "LOL, WTF" causes internal panic that one has missed something. If she wants the serious and nuanced explanation, she can ask for it, but I wouldn't start there.

As for how you talk about raunchy art... it really depends on the person. If she realizes you like the same stuff, she may bring it up. I think recs are fine, and so is euphemistic "I liked the ship dynamic in this one". "I got off to this" is TMI on your part. (Well, it's TMI on her part too, but be prepared for TMI if you become the confidant of a 13-year-old.)

Honestly, as long as she's directing the conversation and you aren't sharing details of your masturbation habits, I think you'll be fine. 13-year-olds aren't babies. If they're old enough to read porny doujinshi, they're old enough to talk to a trusted adult about them.

My teen tastes were weird art films full of sex. 13 is pretty young, but within a couple of years, she'll be the age I was when I was trying to see shit like Crash. She could be anywhere from self-assured in her tastes and interested in discussing her favorite media to easily-influenced to paralyzed by guilt. Creepy grooming shit comes from groomers choosing to groom, not from the topic of sexuality being in the air. If she's reading something with even a shred of plot or romance, you can talk about that without the actual conversation being X-rated. My main concern would be to avoid her trying to impress you by consuming media she finds uncomfortable or talking about things she doesn't actually want to share. You can really only judge that by body language and tone of voice in the moment.

I mean... does "18+ yaois" mean actual BL series here that have a few sex scenes or doujinshi that are entirely porn? ('Yaoi' basically means 'PWP' and is not exactly complimentary, after all.) It's somewhat harder to talk about the latter. But I liked some pretty out-there shit as a teen and did talk to adults about it. They just let me do most of the talking.

Probably the easiest way to broach the topic is to catch her reading something and go "Oh, I read that one" or "I liked [name of BL]".

[neverenoughmarauders]

One thing about the canon is that James and Sirius were exceptionally smart. So do you really think that these secret animagus couldn't hide their bullying?

And who did they bullied? Snape. And a few more Death Eaters in making. Lily said it, they called themselves 'Death Eaters' because they wanted to be one of them.

What were James and Sirius against? Blood purity ✓ Death Eaters ✓ Voldemort ✓

So do you really think they would hide that they are against it?

They ofcourse showed that it isn't a good decision to step infront of them and what you will get if you do anything they are against.

#James and Sirius were not bad!

Oh you had to address the hardest question of them all, didn't you?

I think my TLTR reply would be this: their intentions weren't necessarily bad, but their actions were. I am very much in the camp of people who want to understand, and do forgive, Sirius and James, rather than necessarily wanting to justify their teenage behaviour.

Does that mean that Snape was a good person as a teenager? No, he was a Death Eater-in-making, who was fascinated by power and the dark arts. Adults should have stepped in, but that doesn't make Sirius and James right for taking it into their own hands.

Did the marauders bully Snape? Did they bully others?

I think to discuss this we need to start by addressing what they did or didn't do, as people have very different views on this. Why do we have different views? Well because we hear very different things. But I think it's fair to say the canon supports the following:

Snape was bullied by James and Sirius - this seems to be something that is confirmed by Sirius, Remus, Snape and Lily, as well as the fact that we see it in SWM.

Snape likely did give as good as he got in terms of actually going after James (there's evidence to support this in canon, and not enough to contradict it) - BUT the power balance is all wrong. Snape isn't popular, James and Sirius are. Their scope to injure Snape by humiliating him is much greater. And they are two on one (not four on one like Snape claims, but certainly not one on one).

James and Sirius did hex people just because they could - Lily's accusation is likely true, as Sirius and Remus do not contradict this and if anything they agree Sirius and James could get carried away.

James and Sirius were likely quite big bullies. Sirius does imply he and James were bullies as early as POA when he notes that Peter would always choose the biggest bully in the school yard.

Did they bully Snape? Yes

Did they bully others? Yes

Is bullying okay? No. I believe the only right answer is that James and Sirius' actions age 16 are bad.

Why did they bully Snape? Why did they bully others?

It is relevant to understand James and Sirius' intentions, especially as these two boys are just teenagers. Making mistakes and learning how to deal with things in a more constructive way is part of growing up. Does that make it easier for Snape and their other victims? No, but it matters in understanding James and Sirius. And I want to address it because it relates to your question.

They bully Snape because of his affinity with Slytherin - the house that stood for pureblood supremacy - and because of his affinity with the dark arts, and that is it... until of course James starts fancying Lily, and Snape starts going after Remus and James saves his life - all of which adds complexity.

There is nothing in the canon to ever suggest James and Sirius pick on Snape for any other reason. They show ZERO interest in him until he expresses a desire to be in Slytherin. It is clearly the choice that James finds disturbing. James is just as quick to dismiss handsome, wealthy-looking Sirius when it appears like Sirius says he's to be a Slytherin too. When Sirius expresses the thought that he may break the tradition and not be sorted into Slytherin, James accepts this as good enough. He doesn't hold family against anyone, but he does judge you for your choices.

We also learnt from Sirius that 'Snape knew more curses when he arrived at school than half the kids in seventh year and he was part of a gang of Slytherins who nearly all turned out to be Death Eaters' [Yes, Snape wasn't friendless] … 'And Snape was just this little oddball who was up to his eyes in the Dark Arts'. It's also interesting that they say Snape 'never lost an opportunity to curse James' as curse has a more negative connotation than say 'hex' which is what James is accused of doing. Young Snape invents Levicorpus and Sectumsempra. Everything we learn about young Snape has a dark connotation.

James detested the dark arts, and I would argue Sirius detested it just as much. Sirius states that he hates what his family stood for, which would be blood supremacy and an affinity to the dark arts. His parents weren't Death Eaters. Furthermore, Sirius does not approve of Crouch Sr's approach to fighting Voldemort: 'I would say he became as ruthless and cruel as many on the Dark Side' and he laughs at the idea when Peter accuses him of using dark magic to escape from Azkaban.

So why did they bully Snape? Because of his affinity to the dark arts, Slytherin, and how he very much fit the profile of a would-be Death Eater (which he was, let's not forget).

Did Snape deserve what he got? Personally, I don't think so, because he too was just a teenager. I think adults should have interfered as he was dabbling with the dark arts. I think adults should have stepped in to punish him and his friends for their anti-muggle-born views. I don't think James and Sirius should have stepped in with their jury, judge and executioner approach.

Why did they bully others? Here we don't know. I want to be careful about assuming that they only went after Slytherins or would-be Death Eaters.

There is some evidence to suggest that the majority of their victims would fall into this category, but it's not super strong.

The previous discussion does suggest that Sirius and James, while quick to jump on Slytherins, were otherwise unlikely to bother. We know that they take care of Remus who is a werewolf, and Peter (who is described as slow) seek their protection too.

We hear many people in canon speak well of James - and the only people to not speak well of him are people who are associated to some degree with Slytherin: Snape, Lucius, Lily (as Snape's friend) and... sort of Slughorn. Slughorn loves talented people and yet his focus with Harry is only about Lily. James is noticeably absent from the mind of a man who 'collected' talented people. James' father made a fortune on a potion, James is described as exceptionally talented by McGonagall.

It is possible that everyone who spoke well of James just decided to forgive James, or were unaware of James' bullying behaviour (although we know McGonagall, Hagrid and Dumbledore must have been aware of it). Dumbledore would certainly have been a forgiving type and did make him Head Boy. But why is James often described as this great wizard by everyone who knew him except from the Slytherins and their friends? Possibly because the Slytherins - and especially the DEs in making - were the primary targets of James and Sirius.

Having said all this, Lily suggest they were hexing people just because they could.

As many of us canonheads like to remind the Marauders fandom, James and Sirius were 'exceptionally brilliant'. They clearly weren't challenged enough at school. They are confident they will 'at least' get Os on their DADA exam and don't bother revising before their Transfiguration exam.

People most likely to act out are people that either struggle in school or aren't challenged in school. So I do believe James and Sirius will have gone around hexing people and bullying people just because they could - like Lily accuses them of.

The truth we will never know, but the safest thing to assume is probably a combination. They primarily targeted Slytherins (plus the house rivalry makes this likely in any case), especially Death Eaters in making, but it wasn't limited to those people.

Does it matter that there was a war going on?

Snape is a victim of James and Sirius' bullying, but his fate is sealed by a failed system that places him in a bigoted house on the basis of being ambitious, of wanting to prove himself, of detesting an abusive muggle father (interpretations here, but not unlikely?) - ie things that aren't really a crime in any way - and are in fact very understandable. 'Sometimes we sort too soon,' I read as the message of what went wrong for Snape.

I believe James and Sirius are also victims of the same system. Yes, their school days are happy and thus victim feels like the wrong word, but the hate they receive online isn't doing justice to the fact that Snape, James, Sirius were all underaged, they were all pitted against each other by the system, they all had their own luggage from their childhood that shaped their ability to respond to the war.

I think people fail to see that depending on the line you took in the war, you likely either saw James and Sirius' behaviour as appropriate and good (someone was doing something!), or downright evil.

Lily is not better than everyone who are all laughing at Snape. Snape is her friend. She is able to see the bullying for what it is, because she knows Snape for what he is. But if you didn't have a vested interest on the other side, you wouldn't likely have lifted an eyebrow (unless you were Remus, the master empathiser). There was a war going on, and outside the castle, these two sides were doing far worse to each other - and were allowed to do so.

Barty Crouch Sr allowed the use of the unforgivables on Death Eaters. Death Eaters were torturing and murdering muggles and muggle-borns. People were desperate. And for some reason, people don't empathise with how much this would affect the children going to school.

Assuming that their bullying was (mostly) motivated by fighting a dangerous ideology, does that make it alright? No. Again, my question is where the adults are in all of this!

James and Sirius are good characters that made some bad choices

Fictional stories are about character growth. It's not about where you start, but where you end up. It's about characters that have the wrong behaviours, or conceptions of the world, learning the error of their ways. James and Sirius grow up. They go from right intentions, wrong actions, to right intentions and constructive action.

So if the question is - are James and Sirius bad characters or people? Then I'd say no. They are fantastic fictional characters, because they show character growth. James and Sirius are good people once they come of age in the Wizarding World. They join a war they know they are on the losing side of, and where everyone around them are being killed, because it's the right thing to do.

Final thoughts

This is less related to the question and more reflections based on my long long musing.

It’s not fair to dismiss the goodness that existed in James and Sirius, nor do I think it’s fair to dismiss the damage they caused Snape. They are not responsible for making him a Death Eater, but they caused deep trauma. In the real world we hold people increasingly accountable as they grow up and in the absence of being an adult we look to those who are adults. And that’s who I really want to hold accountable for the tragedy: the professors, the ministry, the system that still allowed a sorting hat and a terrorist organisation to take root.

The marauders’ story, including Snape and Lily's story, is a deeply, deeply tragic story where all parties deserve to be understood. James, Sirius and Snape in particular all fall on their own sword: James died because his bullying behaviour attracted people who would also be attracted to Voldemort - and he did not take the time to understand one of his supposed best friends. Sirius lost his best friend and his own freedom to arrogance, thinking he could trick Voldemort. He later lost his life to that same arrogance - mocking and underestimating Bellatrix. Snape - who I've not cover as much in this post in terms of motivation, but who has a deeply tragic childhood - lost the one good person he had in his life. He lost her first when he chose ‘his path’ as a Death Eater. Then he lost her again, when he handed Voldemort the prophecy that would get Lily killed.

They all suffered. They were all punished rather severely by the author for their mistakes. The least we can do is tell their story with empathy.