#so what’s the harm in believing?
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The funny thing about that scene is that Jiang Cheng is actually said to have questioned the truth of Wei Wuxian’s tale multiple times since he agreed to getting a new core. Even on the walk up to “Baoshan Sanren’s” mountain, he is still questioning if Wei Wuxian is lying to him. He knows that the tale is too fantastical to be true, but he is also afraid to dig more into it because he really wants a new golden core. Even way back in the Yi City arc, we are told that it is fantastical thinking to believe that even a sage like Baoshan Sanren can regrow limbs and organs out of thin air and that the only way to replace them is through donation. Even if Jiang Cheng believes that Wei Wuxian remembers Baoshan Sanren’s location (he doesn’t), he definitely doesn’t believe her capable of pulling a golden core from nothing. But all of this is really not the point, because Jiang Cheng is not bothered by where he gets his core from. He’s not even really bothered by who he gets it from. He’s bothered by what it says about him, his actions, and the specter of his “righteous fury” that Wei Wuxian did this for him in secret, and was willing to die with this secret despite Jiang Cheng having killed him once already.
“Just how much do you owe the Jiang Sect? Am I not supposed to hate you? Can I not hate you?! Why is it that now it’s like I’m supposed to have wronged you?! Why do I have to feel like I’m a fucking clown all these years?! What am I? Do I deserve to be blinded by all your dazzling splendor?! Am I not supposed to hate you?!”
—Chapt. 102, exr
This is what Jiang Cheng is bothered by. He is not bothered that he was lied to about Baoshan Sanren’s magically abilities because he was lied to, he is bothered by the realization that the people he hinged his entire life’s resentment and adulthood personality on are the very people who willingly and selflessly saved his life. He is bothered by the fact that he owed more life debts than he knew, that he couldn’t outsource to something else (like he did when he completely ignored the fact that Wen Ning returned his parents’ bodies to him). He isn’t in Guanyin Temple crying about how Wei Wuxian could bear to lie to him; he is crying about how dare Wei Wuxian’s ultimate act of selflessness make Jiang Cheng’s over a decade-long public grudge look like the tantrums of a clown. By his own design.
If we’re really being honest, Jiang Cheng has no issue relying on Wei Wuxian when he can outsource his gratitude to someone/-thing else. Despite the fact that he is knowingly relying on Wei Wuxian for a golden core, knowingly stealing Wei Wuxian’s favor to get a new golden core (in his mind), the person who “really” did anything was “Baoshan Sanren,” so Wei Wuxian can be neatly cut out of the list of people he “has to” feel gratitude towards. Knowing that it wasn’t Baoshan Sanren, that it was actually two “Wen-dogs” and the “son of a servant” that lived up to his clan’s motto better than him? THAT’S the insult.
"Jiang Cheng should have been allowed informed consent".
He did. As in he was informed he'd receive a core regardless and accepted. Also his issue was never about the harm it would cause to Wei Wuxian or the loss it would be for Wei Wuxian. It was compounded that he did owe grace to Wei Wuxian for what he had done for Jiang Cheng. Let's also stop omitting that Jiang Cheng was set on committing suicide by starving himself because he could no longer cultivate in direct contrast to Wei Wuxian reasoning that he was simply giving back what he had been given by the Jiang Clan anyways by giving his core that was developed with their methods.
The only reason he is upset about anything to do with that situation is that once again he did and always had relied on what Wei Wuxian said and did for him while constantly calling Wei Wuxian ungrateful.
#mdzs#canon jiang cheng#It’s like telling a child that the tooth fairy will give them a sports car for#their next loose tooth#and the child is obviously like#‘that sounds fake af’ but also?#they would really like a sports car#so what’s the harm in believing?#and jc’s upset isn’t who he got the sports car from because he wants the sports car#he *keeps* the sports car#not once does he offer it back#his upset is that it is now public knowledge that he took the sports car gifted to him in secret#and used it to plow down the people who gave it to him in cold blood#while loudly and publicly bragging about having done so#and now it is public knowledge *who* he got the car from#and he can’t take back 13-years of bragging about hunting down his benefactors to kill in reality AND by proxy
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What if I told you that RoobrickMarine went and wrote an entire novella starring my 16th century dog couple? It's very canon-adjacent, well researched and thoughtfully put together, has inspired me a ton during these past months and it's now publicly available at AO3. I highly recommend it.
✦ Separation ✦
#content warnings for sex violence self harm and general angst#six chapters 41K words#people who have asked for longer stories of these two please give this one a look#I've watched this unfold since late may? early july? and it's been an exciting experience#I'm not a writer I think it's better than what I could've come up with#honestly though the way he managed to get inside Machete's and Vasco's heads was uncanny their mannerisms and thought processes are spot on#some of the events aren't canon but they might as well be#and most of the background details and backstory tidbits are accurate believe me he's very well versed on their lore#big history nerd so the worldbuilding is intense#you get to meet the dog pope#there's saint sebastian#roommate hijinks#it gets kind of bleak at times though so be mindful of that#it's not all fluff and good feelings#Separation#Heinaven#RoobrickMarine#own characters#own art#artists on tumblr#CanisAlbus#Vasco#Machete#anthro#sighthound#dogs#canine#animals#if you end up reading the whole thing it would be really sweet if you left a little comment as a thanks for his hard work
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getting back into the untamed and i had a thought. / follow for more yllz babygirlism
#i saw someone a while ago talking about how wwx always has good intentions….#his personal road to hell was paved with good intentions yes but i’m not sure where making a guy eat his own legs fits#it is so funny to me how the tiger tally/yin iron influences wei wuxian differently in each adaptation#i remember making a sliding scale of how ‘culpable’ wwx is from adaptation to adaptation#based on how they portray the mental effects of the iron#but for the life of me i cannot find it :(#wwx really said ‘if i had a cursed amulet i simply wouldnt be corrupted🙄🙄’#that’s basically what he tells lan zhan in this episode…. if necromancy was having ill effects i would notice#and you know. at this point he is lying about everything. but i do wonder how much he actually believes that 👁️👁️#how much of his mind is resigned to doing whatever needs to be done to exact revenge regardless of harm to himself#and how much genuinely believes that he’s smart and competent enough to make it through whole#the answer of course is BOTH!! bisexual pride#mdzs#art#mdzs spoilers#wei wuxian#lan wangji#wangxian#mo dao zu shi#grandmaster of demonic arts#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#my art#the grandmaster of diabolism#cql#the untamed#魔道祖师#陈情令#mdzs meme#doodle#lmao
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[OLD ART ALERT] A COLLECTION OF SCENES FROM THE GILLIONS CATSCRATCH ARC THAT BROUGHT ME GREAT JOY. i love fishy chips especially when its just gillion being delirious and violent and hostile
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#jrwi riptide spoilers#JUST NOTICED A MILLION MISTAKES FUUUUUUUUCK BUT WWHATEVERRRRR IF I STARE AT THIS ANYMORE IM GONNA HHUURRRLLL#SO I REALLY LIKE FISH AND CHIPS RIGHT. IVE BEEN IN LOVE W THE SHIP EVER SINCE THAT NAT 20 KISS#BUT I THINK I SHIP IT WRONG. OR LIKE. I AM CORRECT BUT EVERYONE SHIPS THEM DIFFERENTLY#THE FISH N CHIPS I SEE EVERYWHERE ELSE IS SO FLOWERY AND SWEET AND ROMANTIC. AND THATS NICE! THAT STUFFS NEAT#but gillion and chip would NEVERRRR enter anything similar to a romantic relationship. chips too damaged and gillions too uninterested#I LIKE MY FISH N CHIPS ONE SIDED AS FUCK#bc 2 gillion chip is his best friend in the whole wide world but hes also kinduvagross little man that took him a MINUTE to really warm up2#but to CHIP gillion is this powerful and gorgeous and heroic paragon of destiny and his best friend in the whole world who will#bring about the eschaton. 'i didnt believe in destiny until i met you' until i met a champion radiating with a light thatll alter the world#OHH REMEMBER THE FIRST ICE ARENA?he was so mad.still probably shaking from the ordeal.NEVER had he felt true divine radiance CLEAVE through#his SOUL like that.do you remember that moment in the forest w the bugs. an alien from the ocean; lacerating the land w lightning#when the realization flickered in chip for a moment.that the thing standing before him was more powerful than he could ever fathom#remember when grizz mentioned that the nat20 kiss was the 'best kiss chip ever experienced'. that has nothing to do w this. where was i.#LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT. BUT HEY. I THINK at the beginning chip absolutely knew that gill was smth grand n powerful n scary#when gillion revealed what exactly the prophecy was;chip got defensive and mad.sure he was sleep deprived but OOH. HES SCARED!#he believes gillion too! he believes that his destiny is to eradicate either the sea or land and that scares him!#but then he gets past it bc ultimately he trusts his bestfriend gillion so so much. he fuckin loves this dude.#he would throw himself intothe path of fire for this dude. he would boat across the ocean for this dude.he would build arenas for this dude#even if this dude will end half the world.even if this dude wields the power and the obligation to eradicate him at any second.#even if this dude is going to throw himself into harms way for his own comrades.even if this dude is just going to sacrifice himself.#one way or another one shall die for the other.these self-sacrificial bastards click so well with eachother!!#chip believes his body is best used to pave roads and gill believes his body is destined to pave prosperity.WHATEVER!!#i really love their dynamic!! they care for eachother so much!in MY heart tho. the icing on the cake here is the fantasy that chip is#just a bit more In Love w gillion than he realizes. like this powerful fish guy is HOT and PRETTY and KIND and FUNNY and LOYAL and STRONG#but gillion would never rly feel that same sort of attraction towards chip. its just not rly his thing. aroace as fuck man.#thats how it is in MY little heart atleast. and i sit here and play w my touys in my brain n i explore my silly lil one sided fish y chips.
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Sight of a Star - Blue-ish Star Ryōshū and Don Quixote
#HERES HOW BLUE-ISH STAR BELIEVERS CAN STILL WIN I PROMISE#Rendering sucks but I do like how these look very much. I hate drawing armour. big fan of dramatic shadows however.#but! as for justifications:#B-iS is an abno regarding what one so desperately wants but cannot have - possibly connecting to Blue Star and the paradise-like place-#people wish to reach by throwing themselves into it. though what is offered by B-iS is a much less refined yet as tantalising#given the text of 'The irresistible allure is almost tearing you apart' and the less refined bit being implied by both design#[jagged edges of the actual blue shape and legs like dolls - both unlike BS' much rounder and more naturalistic design]#in short it's the manifestation of impossible dreams - for Don this is her quest for a just knighthood in the City of all places#and for Ryōshū [though idk her source] it is her final work of art - the Hell Screen#when approached one's body is 'pushed away' as if a manifestation of how it is unachievable. at least it is for them#'To be truly blue the one with the true blue must be left alone in one’s blueness.'#is what I interpret as: 'to truly dream the dreamer must be left to one's fantasies'#dreams by nature do not intersect well with reality. all their flaws will be shown and they will crack under the pressure of the real world#it is why the dream pushes them away. to preserve itself. also probably has something to do with how DQ also has void dream#and this abno gives pride boosts in its event. and I personally see pride as a sort of 'self assurance' or 'self above others' so to speak#as to chase ones dreams one must think themselves the exception. as the one that can persevere over the City#plus the HP damage and the various juxtapositions in the 'forward' option may be in reference to how dreams and reality don't mix.#harming those who chase them. though all the same the 'backwards' option shows that simply tossing them aside shall hurt in its own way#to think oneself 'impure' enough to give up on chasing it is all the same resignation on your uniqueness#as for the gift: the name is possibly to do with how lower stars seem easier to reach. and the effect of damage at minus SP....#going insane dream chasing?#but to take ones leave allows for it to be left behind without any further effects. you did not look at your dreams. acknowledge them at al#but are you better off like that? not dreaming? forgetting that brilliantly unfinished star?#but anyways I hope you liked my rambles. also this abno and everything related to Blue Star is so tastefully C flavoured that I love them#and fun fact! when I was first generally mapping sinners to unfightable/EGOless abnos I entirely forgot Ryōshū somehow. which led to this.#they don't have weapons they just kick real hard and it works well enough#limbus company#ryōshū lcb#don quixote lcb#🎠🚬
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#homestuck#dirk strider#dirkjake#jake english#not my idea!!!! just wanted to specify that i didn't come up with this concept it was given to me by the angels (discord chatroom)#cw: self harm#tw: slight nudity#tw: self harm#cw: slight nudity#tw: implied death#cw: implied death#im not quite sure what the differences between tw's and cw's are so there's both#would you believe me if i told you this is not the first strider/other 'animatic' i made
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Yours is a life worth living.
#Rui isnt an optimist but after spending time with Senjuro he does become more willing to believe good people exist and for a reason#so. he becomes sickened by any notion he would allow death or harm to befall Senjuro.#to a sorta overbearing degree he is still an arrogant little dude who thinks he can just tell people what to do but. yknow#thought that counts#senrui#rengoku senjuro#rui ayaki#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#kny#my art#senrui kakushi au
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can we please stop telling people to kill themselves and to rot in hell and that they deserve to be bullied and that they are inherently horrible people who deserve to die and get doxxed. please. can we please stop doing that.
#like#okay first of all. do you understand the gravity of what youre saying or are you just throwing words into sentences#second of all. that kind of language is so fucking harmful for people with ocd or just obsessions with morality#because i mean not to make this abt Me (though this is kind of a vent ) but when i see people saying that it just. Sends me into spirals#because if people can say that to other people then what if they say it to me because i secretly believe the same things (even if i don't#-most of the time!)#what if im an inherently horrible person deep down? am i going to rot in hell for feeling slightly bad for this person?#i cant imagine that others dont feel like this or something along those lines.#im so fucking sick of death threats they do nothing. they do fucking jackshit except make more people feel terrible.#if you send death threats to people or say shit like this im blocking you. i dont want you in my space#bee.txt#moral ocd#scrupulosity
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What ever you do don't think about Percy reading Estelle a little kid version of 'The Odyssey' because that's what Sally read to him but he doesn't want to scare her. Don't imagine Sally looking on with guilt in her eyes cus she HAD to read him the real one so he knew what to expect. Don't think about Sally looking down on her little girl with tears in her eyes cus she doesn't need to worry about snakes in her bed or teachers being Cyclopes. Don't think of Sally seeing Estelle with Paul and having to leave the room cus when Percy was that age they had Gabe. Don't think of the unimaginable guilt that Sally must feel for being relieved that Estelle's biggest battle at 16, is her Dad being her teacher. And whatever you do don't think about Percy feeling like an outsider in his own family even though he gets constantly reassured that he's part of it and loved.
#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#sally jackson#estelle blofis#paul blofis#teenage estelle making a comment about how blue food is for babies and Percy and Sally stopping cus to her its a juvenile thing but to them#it was a way to rebel against their abusive husband/stepdad.#camp half blood#perseus jackson#heroes of olympus#rick riordan#dont imagine Percy looking across the way at Sally Paul and Estelle play at the park and not going over cus he hed hate to ruin it with a#monster attack (theirs no monsters around that he can see but what if? he cant let his sister be harmed by them too)#pjo hoo toa#pjo#pjo series#theirs a Reddit abour this person that got to go on a overnight trip for school and their sleeping bag was a blanket tied up with rope.#their pjs were old sweats. their tooth paste was in bagie instead of a travel size. cus that all they could afford and they got bullied but#it was ok cus they got to go on the trip. but in the end the trip kinda sucked cus they didn't get to do what they wanted but they got to g#so it wasn't all bad. but afew years later after their family came into some money their little sibling got to go on the trip but they got#all new rhings for the trip. new clothes new sleeping bag a suit case. travel size products etc and while the other sibling get it its just#they're upset that they didnt get that. they know WHY they didnt but their still upset.#or that one episode of The Goid Place where elenor doesn't believe her mom is a good mom now cus she wanted a good mom but all she got was#shitty mom and if her mom had the ability to change she could have changed all along she just didnt.#that vibe but make it Percy Jackson (not to say sally was wrong she did what she could to make sure percy was prepared she just... doesn't#have to do that with Estelle that its kinda heart breaking cus she would have LOVED to not have had to prepare Percy but life sucks)
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i think we gotta be more careful about falling into the trap of placing heaps of blame on the most vulnerable groups around us because it’s easier, emotionally or otherwise, than going after those in power. like i mostly talk about transandrophobia right now and how transmascs get so much shit thrown at us because were easier to attack than cis people, and i’ve seen people do the same thing to transfems and NBs too. to me it’s extra disappointing when it’s someone who is vocally supportive of transmascs doing it (like generalizing all transfems as being hostile to transmascs/being transandrophobic). it’s of course important to talk about inter community issues and point out harmful behaviors and ideologies when we see them, and talk about how someone’s life experience might lead them to be that way, but singling out one type of trans person as The Culprit is not helpful and just feels like it further drives a wedge into our community. we may be able to perpetuate aspects of the transphobic systems cis people put in place, but none of us are responsible for them and we don’t benefit from them, past surface level “acceptance” from people who’d be more comfortable if one type of trans person or all of us didn’t exist at all
#it honestly is really hard to call out harmful behaviors a trans person might exhibit because transphobia is so rampant rn#on one side you’ve got people who will demonize a trans person for existing and on the other there’s people who refuse to believe-#-trans people can do any wrong#i think the former is Much worse but they’re both still bad#it kinda makes sense that ppl resort to black n white thinking cause it feels like there’s no middle ground#but like. it doesn’t have to be that way. we can defend ourselves while acknowledging our ability to do wrong#we’re human not perfect machines and i think being able to make and learn from mistakes without being completely socially ostracized#should be a part of trans liberation#transandrophobia#transmisogyny#transphobia#oh also i’m trying to think more carefully about saying ‘x kind of trans person experiences y’#or ‘trans people ESPECIALLY x kind of trans people experience y’#because i’ve noticed people will assume things that happen to transfems never hppen to transmascs#and i don’t want to perpetuate that kind of thinking regardless of what trans group i’m talking about#tbh i think there’s VERY FEW circumstances where you can confidently say a certain kind of person never experiences something
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flash warning !!!
Hii im creating a series of bishop lore animatics and Shamura happens to be the first bishop ive developed a little longer :-) flips pages like a fairtytale book ,,,,,, it allllll started during their Cardinal Shamura Era™
Basically in the beginning it shows themself at age 11, age 14, and then age 16 (almost age 17)They became their clergy's cardinal at 16, as well as finding the purple crown (war & wisdom) at the same given time, thus dangerously resorting to pyromania as a coping mechanism for their stresses ,,, which lead to burning down the whole clergy with the power of the purple crown ,,,
Nobody to this day (after 9,613 years) knows someone as young and prodigal as them would ever consider burning the longest running clergy throughout the history of silk cradle
Teenage angst gone WRONG ,,,,,, spider asked to leave their home 😣😣
#sydneys videos#cotl#cult of the lamb#shamura#shamura cotl#This is my first shamura centered video believe it or not !!!!#They were very untreated with their mental health so thats what i meant by them developing pyromania ^^;; it started out as a really bad -#- form of self harm! Until it literally developed into a mental illness for them! Needless to say after the events this takes place they -#-almost get a lobotomy and frequent exorcisms cuz of that 😭 thats why they killed their biological family for the “sake of war”#Very Dark Lore for shamura but i felt as it could explain their long road of war and wisdom with having ups and downs#So silly!#mystic pursuit#Id like to think it sorta explains their motives and why theyre a little more violent with war as an aspect#But a little more. Gentle? More gentle with wisdom 👍
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thinking about the 'I would never court Penelope Featherington' scene again and how angry our fandom has been at Colin for it for the last two years and wondering. . .what exactly was he meant to say?
Lord Fife and his friends are *slimy*. They are gross. They have 0 respect for women. Fife isn't *Colin's* friend. Fife is *Anthony's* friend. Fife runs in Anthony's circles. Misogynistic circles with misogynistic language. Fife and Co. are out here saying the debutantes are only good for being 'wed, bed, and bred'. Fife is the one out here, well into his 30s and with an established title, fucking an 18 year woman raw on her first year out in the marriage mart with 0 intention to marry her. That is 10000% an act of violence in this society. And you *know* he's bragging about it. Hell, he was probably bragging about it right before he asked Colin about Penelope.
Colin's not in those circles. Colin has female friends. Colin respects his mother. Colin cares for his sisters. The worst thing Colin has EVER said about a woman was to call her 'cruel'.
So. . .what is Colin meant to say? "No, we're just friends" isn't going to fly for people like Fife. As IF he wouldn't reply with 'Yeah, suuuuuure, wink wink nudge nudge'. Thus ruining Penelope and fucking over her future completely. A lesser man than Colin would have let them think what they wanted, and that would have still ruined Penelope in their eyes. Silence? Incriminating.
And he doesn't want FIFE of all people to know about his close friendship with Penelope. Fife who has never once been seen respecting a woman. Fife who has never once viewed a woman as a person and not a sexual conquest. Penelope is a safe place for Colin. Is precious to him. He KNOWS that conversation could have destroyed her reputation.
People talk about how he 'ruined her prospects', but in actuality, Colin responding the way he did. . .likely SAVED her prospects. There was NOTHING he could have said except for a vehement refusal, completely shutting down the conversation, that would have spared her from their judgement and cruelty. Sure, they laughed, and maybe it was at Pen. Maybe it was at Colin. (frankly, how good of a twist would it be if they WERE laughing at Colin? Colin the 'green' boy back from his travels after being oh so gullible and getting lied to by his ex fiance? Anthony made fun of Colin for being a virgin, we think these men, all 10+ years older than him, wouldn't do the same?) But at least they didn't go 'yeah, I guess she's a ruined woman' about it, because that *would* have destroyed her reputation
We talk about how Colin could have worded it differently, but honestly?
I think he said the exact right thing in those circumstances
#polin#penelope featherington#colin bridgerton#bridgerton#lord fife#lord cho#fife and company are so gross to me i do NOT understand the narrative of fife just wanting pen for himself#she's a little too old for him at this point considering he's looking for his girlfriend on a playground don't you think?#sorry not sorry i will forever be a colin apologist#no but really what should he have said????#'oh yeah we're fucking six ways to sunday?'#'no she's just my friend'? - Fife doesn't believe for a MOMENT that a man can value a woman as a friend#colin is the best man in that entire bunch but somehow he's the one we've demonized?#make it make sense#and sure he should apologize for talking about her behind her back- but Penelope should also then apologize for the same#we talk a lot about him being 'knocked off the pedestal' but in reality we've put him on the highest pedestal possible#colin is a GOOD man#he is arguably the best man in the entire series#at least he's the man with the best intentions and the least harm#and so when he fucks up we feel it ten fold because he was already so good#but when gross dudes fuck up we just expect it of them and give them a pass#we expect colin to not only be better- but to be perfect#and he isn't he can't be#he didn't say it perfectly#but OBVIOUSLY his intentions in that scene aren't malicious#and it's not locker room talk either?#look at the optics: Colin is 22 being asked by these 30+ year old dudes 'sooooo are you boinking the girl'?#one season after his engagement blew up publicly#in the season where no one listens to his travel stories#the season after he was virgin shamed
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wait a minute
stop.
stop it.
#bnha#bnha manga spoilers#mha spoilers#mha 423#I didn't hate this chapter before that#but now I am#because this is just cruel level of REMEMBER THIS?????#yes. I do remember this. I rewatched and reread this arc VERY recently#so... he killed Kurogiri with a punch like the one he did in USJ and again to save Izuku#I don't care honestly.#I reread this chapter and I cried again bc I REALLY refused to believe that Kurogiri died then#but he did with a death words to Shirakumo's friends and recall of old chapters#even if people want Tenko alive I doubt that Kurogiri will ever materialize again#and I'm deadly serious when I say that this is the worst part of this chapter#I worried for Kurogiri's existence ever since it was revealed that Shirakumo is in there#but that literally took FIVE YEARS TO APPEAR AGAIN HAVING AN IMPORTANT ROLE#and he left while crumbling just like Tomura's body before Katsuki hit him#and the last thing he thought about was about protecting Tomura even though he was partly Shirakumo's dead corpse appearing more and more#even Mic now understood that it's really is him in a way ending his arc from back in Tartarus with Aizawa#and you know what's worse??? TOMURA KNOWS THIS#the way he used “...........” with Kurogiri's name while the page literally showed his black smoke disappearing was heartbreaking before#it's worse now#like... okay he's dying too and he doesn't even know if spinner is ALIVE or not and he saw Kurogiri disappear#all while protecting him from harm one last time#AND WE STILL HAVE NO FUCKING FLASHBACKS OF HIS TIME WITH TOMURA OUTSIDE OF WHAT WE HAD IN MANGA#I'm getting more and more furious by the minute HAHA#I need to find that one sketch I did way back in 2019 with them after spoilers of Kurogiri in Tartarus#I NEED SOMETHING LIKE THAT NOW AND I CAN'T DRAW#I want to just curl up and cry myself to sleep like a 13 y.o that found out the bird that she looked after died while she was sleeping#kurogiri
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book!aemond would hate show!aemond.
#anti hotd#hotd critical#book!aemond would take show!vhagar and then he'd just have two vhagars#he would stab that bitch. he would stab that bitch so many times.#pro team green#hotd spoilers#house of the dragon spoilers#at least he killed r*haenys#i guess#book!aemond would never harm aegon idc what beef they have#siblings will be fucking nightmares to each other but they'll still be united against outsiders and their enemies lmao#then again its all gReEn pRopAGaNda but if you seriously believe that you should probably be pepper sprayed <3#anyway rip my fave i know the real you would've never done that#SUNFYRE MY BELOVED YOU WERE DONE THE MOST DIRTY#WE GOT CRUMBS BUT AT WHAT COST
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being obsessed with yakumo is a job and baby i’ve never called in a sick day!!!!!
#nu carnival#yakumo ♡#you could not pay me to ramble this extensively about anything else#but yakumo’s trauma?? his childhood?? his growth?? his fears and insecurities and how they affect his current relationships??#his abandonment issues and jealousy and darker desires???#and how he’s so scared he’ll hurt others even though it’s far more likely he’ll be the one getting hurt??#how he’s not violent or scary at all but after years and years he’s been conditioned to think he is??#the significance of his relationship with eiden??#the significance of his ‘platonic’ relationships with the other clan members??#how important his grandparents were in raising him??#how his desperate want to hide his serpentine features and be ‘normal’ is a perfect allegory for autism??#the fact that he’s been treated horribly in the past and yet still chooses every day to be kind??#how he probably definitely has bpd??#the burden he has to carry just because of who his ancestor is??#the fact that it almost seems like what he does doesn’t matter because the actions of his ancestor will always be looming over him??#how he’s been hurt so many times both physically and emotionally and yet his heart is still so open to loving others??#how he has a tendency to push down his traumatic memories until he thinks they no longer affect him??#and how even when he’s suffering because of that trauma he would still rather suffer alone than bother someone and tell them??#how slowly but surely he’s unlearning all of the harmful ideas burned into him since his was a child??#and how he’s learning that people do love and care about him and he’s not a burden and he deserves love and care??#and that the serpentine traits he tries so desperately to hide aren’t as disgusting as he was meant to believe??#that his dark desires don’t define or control him and that it’s okay that he has them??#that just because he has them at all doesn’t make him a bad person???#why he makes soup for his loved ones so much!!!! yes that is important actually#i will sit and write about that for hours and hours for FREE#my favourite fictional character of all time he’s so so real#he’s so well written and his trauma and growth are handled with such care and consideration
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it’s very interesting to me amongst the different fandoms i’ve been a part of in regards to their attitudes toward nsfw fanworks bc with the marauders those teens are always wildin’ - smoking, drinking, sleeping together - if they’re not i would even say it would be out of character for them? wolfstar is messy and horny and so in love, even if in a lot of fics they won’t admit it to each other. in atyd everyone is shagging up a storm, the girls, the boys, it’s still juvenile of course the way they discuss it and go about it. very little communication, feelings are hurt, they don’t know what they’re doing all the time. and it makes sense, they’re teenagers!
i have never once heard of discussion around it being ‘wrong’ to write them this way. that it’s ‘objectifying’ and if you’re thinking about it you must be weird or unnecessarily sexualizing characters. sexualizing characters? they’re already sexualized wdym? they have a sexuality, everyone has a sexuality, whatever the author/artist wants to give them, whether that’s a sex crazed maniac or the most sex repulsed asexual, they Have a Sexuality! even before the exact moment they turn 18, they have a sexuality. it’s just another facet to explore character through, to understand them more fully, and also sometimes for the author to help understand themselves.
i’m sorry age doesn’t matter when it comes to fictional characters. it just doesn’t. they’re not real you can’t hurt them. if someone wants to write through trauma, something ‘wrong’ and ‘problematic’ let them use fictional people. it may seem gross and you don’t have to read it, but its existence does not mean promotion of harmful behavior. it can mean so many different things to that author but it doesn’t equate to that.
i say this bc i myself have written some horrid things. i’ve never posted them, was not in a place where i wanted to, i wrote it all in a period of my life where i was seriously hurting, and writing fucked up horrific things stopped me from hurting Myself. i’ve read some ‘problematic’ fics that made me feel better, hurt me in a good way, reading comments of people who related and appreciated what was being explored.
most people who write about fucked up shit, SA, or some form of trauma porn or whatever it is have probably gone through something similar in their life. the people who read it and seek it out are usually drawn to it for a reason but we don’t need to know why. there is also just curiosity. and being curious doesn’t make you a bad person, it doesn’t mean you ‘like’ it. you may like the power dynamics at play, you may be intrigued by desires different than your own, you may… ANYTHING what you enjoy to read or write speaks to nothing regarding who you are in your day to day life. your morals, your beliefs, or what you want sexually or otherwise. i say this to a younger me, there’s nothing wrong with you!
with all that being said… there is also porn that is just porn. and that’s perfectly fine and good too. people have always written porn about whatever and whoever they want and they always will. if you don’t want it, scroll pass. you won’t be given a gold star for announcing you think it’s gross or wrong, you just look silly. i’m not saying that you must like it too, but attacking the moral character of those who do partake, shows an immaturity and lack of tack when it comes to these subjects. go out in the world and you will discover just how ‘abnormal’ and ‘depraved’ sexual desire can manifest itself as.
as someone who grew up a Very sexually confused person. not knowing i was queer or on the ace spectrum exploring sexuality through fiction was like my saving grace. and those books and those fics that made me feel seen, made me go huh! woah! ooooh my god that’s me! or made me go … wait why do i kinda like that? more often than not they were written by adults. bc they had made it through to the other side so to speak. and as An Adult now i find the traditional adolescent experience very intriguing as i did not have that growing up. the sexual experiences i’ve had now have shown me so starkly that that feeling which accompanies a new experience never really goes away. people are fumbling well into their 20s and 30s. reading the plight of a young person discovering who they are sexually i don’t think will ever not be relatable or make someone reflect. that includes the sweet and innocent as well as the ‘gross’/depraved horniness. it is not necessarily enjoyed on a basis of attraction to these characters, it is enjoyed on a basis of ‘i know this feeling’ or ‘i also do and have yearned for this kind of intimacy’. and if who you are isn’t represented in those stories, oh well damn, looks like i have to write it now. that’s how we have Are you there God, it’s me Margaret and the edge of 17 (the ‘98 and ‘16 iterations), all these stories written by Adults! that make us all sigh in relief and laugh and cry and aaahhh
fiction is fiction, idek what anti-ship means, let people be freaks in peace, fandom spaces are created to have fun in, let’s pls have Fun!!! explore and write and draw and fantasize whatever your heart desires bc there can be no right or wrong, it is just discovery.
if you feel kinship with characters and it feels natural to extend yourself to them, to take them and make them your own, amazing, gorgeous, beautiful. play dress up with them in all the ways you can, do whatever You Want!!
#i really surprised myself w how much i wanted to say here but#i started writing and just couldn’t stop#byler#marauders#spicy byler#fandom#fandom discourse#fandom discussion#fanfiction#byler fanfic#marauders fanfiction#stranger things#speaking my truth#bc i can’t believe what i see sometimes#gritting my teeth as i post this#i just feel like this message needs to be reiterated#i know there are a lot of young people in this fandom and i find this censored attitude so harmful#longtallglasses
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