#**meta

[incorrectbatfam]

Back when I worked at a restaurant, we would have this one DoorDash guy who had honest to God the worst timing ever. I never learned his name but he looked like a Mark and he had a special talent for showing up as something was happening. One time he came to pick up an order as the police were escorting someone from the bar for trying to assault the bartender and Mark was just standing in the middle of the entryway like🧍‍♂️asking about a burger that hadn't been started yet. Another time, he showed up as the kitchen was on fire and didn't understand why he couldn't pick up his order anyway even after my boss explained it to him three times. There was also the time he showed up and twenty seconds later, our POS system spontaneously imploded and our boss—the only person who could fix it—was out that day. Mark was an omen. Every time we saw his car pull up, there would be a collective sense of exhaustion mixed with dread.

Anyway, I think every piece of superhero media needs a civilian background character like Mark whose sole purpose is to get in the way and Fuck Shit Up by simply existing.

[probablybadrpgideas]

A language only Tiefling Bards can learn:

Disco Infernal.

[idhren]

I think of this every time I hear "building the plane while flying it", aka "fly in an incomplete plane and try not to crash too horribly".

OMG. Somebody said it out loud.

Disney is absolutely not the only studio doing this though.

It seems to have become standard practice across movies and series everywhere.

Anything that doesn't do it is like a breath of sunlight and fresh air inside a dank musty cave.

It's part of the 'fix it in post-production' epidemic sweeping through the studios. Fix it in post is often used as a time/money-saving measure - and is absolutely part of the same mess that the WGA is fighting against currently.

Rather than fixing things on-set - audio, lighting, something in-frame that shouldn't be, etc. (which is all handled by unionized crew) - they leave it for the CG folks (not unionized) to edit later.

(on ridiculously tight schedules that leave them scrambling, cutting corners, and working inhumane hours)

See also: that part where scripts aren't finished, because the studio won't fully staff the writers room, and won't pay to have writers on-set for day-of-filming script questions and fixes (which could resolve issues such as 'what kind of lighting do we need here?')

Anyway, all this shit we, as audiences, keep complaining about - bad lighting, bad sound, wonky visual effects, over-usage of not-great CGI, stilted acting on green-screen sets, scripts that seem not-quite-finished, costumes that look like they're cheap and flimsy, terrible hair and makeup, films and series that aren't as polished as they could be...

Plus the complaints we have about streaming services and their shenanigans...

All of that is enmeshed in the extreme capitalism that has taken over everything, including entertainment, to the point that studios are abusing their workforce and churning out material that - at best just doesn't live up to its potential - at worst, is just unwatchable shit.

[mudlarkspur]

rise turtle ages chronologically

So rise establishes that Raph is a year older than Leo and Donnie who are both a a year older than Mikey. That does seem to be some combination of Splinter guessing and running with apparent developmental age (which does make things tricky because we have a word of god canon says theres an adhd and autistic kid which would skew that developmental ages if Splinter didn't clock that).

But! their developmental ages at time of mutation was

Mikey - 0

Leo - 1

Donnie - 1

Raph - 2

Turtles reach adult maturity at different ages! It varies by individuals and by sex but generally

Ornate Box - 9 years

Red Eared Slider - 5 years

Spiny Softshell - 10 years

Alligator Snapper - 7 years

So going by human adult age as 18 to reach those development age as turtle-mutants, their chronological ages at time of mutation were

Mikey - a few days

Leo - two and a half months

Donnie - six months

Raph - eight and a half months

[probablybadrpgideas]

Bad dnd idea: Every instance of Magic Mouth has that TikTok voice.

Worse dnd idea: Actually play the voice at the table.

­

[hurtspideyparker]

14 year old Peter Parker was such a menace

Practically asked for money a minute into meeting a billionaire ("Is this grant got, like, money involved or whatever...")

Used Tony Stark's credit card to watch porn

Snuck out while in a foreign country and partied with a bunch of older women

Made front page news for saving a German government official "Sticky Boy Saves Chancellor"

Started reading Sam Wilson his Miranda Rights out of nowhere (he was the one caught by Sam...they aren't officers...they aren't even in the USA...) his voice just makes me laugh every single time like why did he think to do that

Vlogged in the middle of a dangerous fight (when decades of a photography history devolve into Gen Z Spidey's influencer era)

Used pop culture for battle strategy

[april-december]

Reblogging with some more of @lakeofsilverpike’s tags (I hope you don’t mind) because they are just too good not to preserve

No one in history has had special treatment like you.

[demon-country]

Blitz:

Stolas, Loona, Millie, Moxxie, Fizz:

One day, Blitz will see that he's not a nuisance to those around him who leaves nothing but suffering in his wake. One day, he will believe them when they say that they love him and that he saved them. One day, he will see that instead of being a burden, he has given them a community.

They're all, in their own ways, telling him, "Get loved, idiot. Get fucking cherished and adored, loser." And one day, he'll even realize that yes, he is worthy of such love and devotion.

[gghero]

9 hours 9 persons 9 doors is possibly the funniest game on replay for many reasons but my underrated comedic bit of knowledge is the mystery of how the Kurashikis got all the money to run the second nonary game because at some point if you remember the door 4 santa dialogue you gotta just conclude "it was probably gambling right I mean if I had postcognitive esp I would absolutely cheat at gambling" but then on replay you look at that scene and the options youre presented with and the implication is actually like "dont be ridiculous. gambling is stupid. we OBVIOUSLY used the postcognitive esp to cheat at the STOCK MARKET what kind of idiot are you"

[dalishious]

Teia and Viago Master Post

It seems my overwhelming love for Teia Cantori and Viago de Riva has garnered a reputation that I’m worth asking questions about them. I’m honoured! But I think it would be easier to just make a master post about them that I can direct to, so that’s what this is.

Appearances

Dragon Age: Deception (Teia and Viago appear as unnamed Crows. It is later confirmed in Tevinter Nights that it was them)

Dragon Age: Tevinter Nights; “Eight Little Talons”

Dragon Age: The Missing

Dragon Age: The Veilguard

Pre-DATV Events

9:44 – Teia and Viago are in Ventus when the Antaam attack.

Between 9:44 and 9:52 – The events of “Eight Little Talons” takes place. (Viago says they were “recently” in Ventus when the Qunari attacked, meaning it’s probably closer to 9:44.)

9:52 – Teia and Viago are in Vyrantium when the Antaam attack. They took a contract together to kill Lady Crysanthus, who was a member of the Venatori. They briefly run into Varric and Harding, who are following Solas’s trail.

Information on Teia

Teia’s full name is Andarateia Cantori. She is the head of House Cantori, which holds the seat of Seventh Talon. House Cantori’s territory is centred in Rialto.

Teia is 28 in “Eight Little Talons”. While we don’t know for sure when the story takes place, it is most likely around 9:45-9:46 based on context clues. If so, this would make Teia in her mid-30s during Dragon Age: The Veilguard.

Teia grew up on the streets of Antiva City with no family, surviving on thievery. She was taken by the Crows at age eight, and considers them her family now. (In “Eight Little Talons,” she reflects that she’s been a Crow for 20 years.)

Teia was the youngest Crow to gain the rank of Talon in history. She is also an outlier in that she does not come from a wealthy, prolific family background. This caused quite a controversy, where she was considered an “overreaching street rat;” while the Crows tell recruits that anyone can become a Talon, it very rarely happens.

Teia has her own set of rules to follow; for example, she refuses to kill servants unless absolutely necessary.

Teia’s best skill is being a master manipulator, with a level of astute observation in others that gives her an advantage in pretty much any conversation. She is very good at figuring out what to say and do in order to get the response she wants from someone.

Teia’s biggest flaw is, in my opinion, her naiveté. You could also say that the fact that she’s held onto strong morals and sensitivity to others is a strength, certainly. But the fact that she wants to see good in everyone, even people who arguably don’t give her any reason to, has gotten her into trouble.

Teia was in an abusive relationship in the past; Dante Balazar, who was Second Talon before his death in “Eight Little Talons”. Dante was addicted to lyrium, and would lash out at her verbally and physically. At some point Teia fought back and finally broke things off, while leaving a scar on his shoulder. Despite all this, Teia held sympathy for him.

Teia is afraid of dogs, after being chased by rabid ones on the streets as a little girl.

Teia has a tattoo marking her as a member of House Cantori on her back.

Teia’s horse is named Andoral (after the archdemon).

Teia has probably not been a Talon for very long; I would guess less than five years as of “Eight Little Talons.”

Information on Viago

Viago is the head of House de Riva, which holds the seat of Fifth Talon. House de Riva’s territory is centred in Salle.

We do not know Viago’s age for certain, but I would guess he’s in his mid-40s during Dragon Age: The Veilguard based on vibes and sensible timelines.

Viago is a master poisoner, and carries around plenty of it wherever he goes… as well as antidotes, because in addition to this, he is extremely paranoid about being poisoned himself. He does not eat or drink anything before testing it first, and he even takes a small dose of Adder’s Kiss every day to build up a resistance to it.

As one of many bastard children of the Antivan King, Viago was only given two choices in life: either live in luxurious exile, or join the Crows. He resents all his half-siblings who chose the first, and he resents the king himself. Viago may be more powerful than them all, even the king, but he is now stuck in this life. Had he not been, he thinks he could be a better ruler of Antiva.

Viago also holds resentment towards his mother, who it is hinted was an alcoholic to cope with the loss of interest from the King. Viago recalls her wine-stained “demon teeth” from when he was a child.

Viago does not give a shit if people like him or not; he only wants to be respected and feared. (Despite this, Teia tries to make the other Talons like him.) He is also used to having to constantly watch his back, and typically thinks the worst in people.

Viago tries to avoid emotional thinking, preferring hard facts and logic.

Viago has a pair of adder snakes he milks for venom. He also now has a third named Emil, choosing to keep the snake that bit and nearly killed him in “Eight Little Talons”.

Viago enjoys art collection.

My guess for how long Viago has been a Talon is somewhere around 10-15 years, based on vibes and timelines. I think he was fairly young himself when he succeeded his predecessor. I also think it’s entirely possible that the Antivan King arranged his rise to power, based on the comment in “Eight Little Talons” from Dante: “Your daddy will protect you.”

Dialogue

(I will add more as I hear it!)

Rook: The Cantori Diamond is your casino? The occupation hasn't closed your business?

Teia: Business may be down, but it isn't "my" casino to close.

Viago: An easy mistake to make. Isn't that right, Andarateia Cantori?

Teia: I am no landlord, and anyone who treats me as such shall be evicted.

-

Rook: Are there many Crows like Jacobus?

Viago: We have many fledglings, but he is something of a prodigy. They tend to do very well, or very badly.

Teia: Not all things end with clarity, as you and I both know.

Viago: Fine. Endings are fuzzy. Starts are shocking. Middles... middles are worth lingering.

-

Teia: Fighting back suits you. Your tone has much improved since we last argued.

Viago: Excuse me. I wasn't aware it was my tone that was at issue.

Teia: That's all right, I'm sure you'll pay closer attention from now on.

Viago: See, this is why we split. And got back together. And split.

-

Teia: Fighting back, making our voices heard... this is feeling like old times. The good ones.

Viago: Thank you for the clarification.

Teia: I meant it.

Viago: So did I.

-

Rook: So you two are both Talons. Doesn't that make you rivals?

Viago: Rank in one area is rarely applicable to others. Which is to say, only a fool would try to impose rank on Teia.

Teia: Wise words from a sometimes fool.

Viago: A history I would wish on no one, lest they take it from me.

-

Teia: Thank you for spurring this rebellion, Rook. It's good to see Viago energized.

Viago: When have I ever been not energized?

Teia: Certain mornings.

Viago: Only after certain evenings.

-

Rook: You two are confident we can take the Butcher when the time's right?

Viago: Ending one life is a punctuation. There is much more to be said first.

Teia: Let's not craft a treatise when a limerick can suffice.

Viago: And that is why your epitaphs are legendary.

-

Viago: Have you been home in the last week?

Teia: I won't let the fledglings see the Diamond empty.

-

Rook: The Cantori Diamond is your casino? The occupation hasn't closed your business?

Teia: Business may be down, but it isn't "my" casino to close.

Viago: An easy mistake to make. Isn't that right, Andarateia Cantori?

Teia: I am no landlord, and anyone who treats me as such shall be evicted.

-

Teia: I told her their bickering was amateurish, and that they'd need to work much harder to argue as well as we do.

Viago: That was altogether the wrong message to take away from that.

Teia: I thought you enjoyed our little squabbles?

Viago: Among—and possibly overshadowed by—other things.

-----

SOURCES:

Dragon Age: Deception

Dragon Age: Tevinter Nights

Dragon Age: The Missing

Dialogue between Teia and Viago (DATV)

Letter from Mistress Trella (DATV)

[opalsong]

First, my comedy reaction: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

Second, my real reaction: it all depends on the POV character in the smut scene. Are you writing a period piece? Dick and Cock might not be appropriate, your character might take a more flowery approach (manhood, bishop, dragon) or a more straightforward approach (penis, phallus). Are you writing about frat boys? It's possible the more ridiculous metaphors are key. They might actually refer to their junk as "jr. [Name]" or "my beef whistle". Are you writing smut about Deadpool? Find the most ridiculous things on the list and pile as many in as you can and the story can still be hot like burning.

It all depends on tone and POV.

writing smut like

how many synonyms for “penis” do I actually know?

[reason-with-the-underdog]

the sumeru AQ's long lasting changes on society (and on hkvthm)

while yes a lot of this progress is due to kaveh & alhaitham working out their differences (they used their words!)

this is also in part due to the sumeru AQ results, specifically that nahida is freed to guide the nation & the anti-arts trend that had been pushed by the akademiya under azar is now much less prominent

kaveh was worried about his rental situation being known bc then his bankruptcy would be public

& as the "light of the kshahrewar" and a prominent figure famous for being passionate about the arts, he couldn't let his personal insolvency look bad for the rest of the arts community/kshahrewar darshan

he's not ashamed of being bankrupt/poor, he knowingly took on that debt & would do it again. but he's always concerned about the weight and cost that fame & titles have on the person underneath (ie, he's expressed concern for the well-being of those lauded as "genius" & "god")

but after the AQ, the akademiya is cleaned out of azar's cronies & new sages are installed, ones that aren't actively trying to devalue arts & personal expression, which means there's less pressure on kaveh to be the perfect exemplar who's the envy of all

so that's a big relief for kaveh mentally as time goes on

also we know he hasn't missed a debt payment with dori, so he's been able to make good progress on his financial situation, so now it's not as worrisome for his living with alhaitham to be known

(he's living there by choice! not out of financial penury)

...plus, he now can admit to himself & to the public that he actually enjoys alhaitham's company now

so yeah now alhaitham & kaveh are just incredibly domestic and hanging out in public in addition to their at home time 😊 (as shown in their birthday letters)

in summary i honestly think that alhaitham & kaveh have been like this (cyno sq 2) all the way since last july 2023 at the time of kaveh's bday letter

its so nice to actually see them interact on screen though

[eilinelsghost]

I was rereading bits of the Lay of Leithian over breakfast (like you do) and today it stood out that when Finrod is at his best in the battle with Sauron, it's when he brings in the dual visions of home: the home he has built in exile and the home of memory in Valinor:

The chanting swelled, Felagund fought, And all the magic and might he brought of Elvenesse into his words. Softly in the gloom they heard the birds Singing afar in Nargothrond, The sighing of the Sea beyond, Beyond the western world, on sand, On sand of pearls in Elvenland.

The Silmarillion: Chapter 19 "Of Beren and Lúthien" (emphasis mine)

But! While one of these is what we expect - Nargothrond, the home built of his longing and vision - the home in memory is not Tirion. It's Alqualondë, with its sand of pearls beside the sighing Sea.

In Finrod's moment of greatest trial, caught in a battle he knows he can never win, he sings a vision not of Tirion and its dynastic power, but of Alqualondë where Finarfin fled for peace and where presumably his son found the same.

Faced with a conflict of power, he reaches for peace.

And by doing this, he turns his immediate defeat into something hollow - while Sauron is said to have mastery here in their duel, it is Finrod who ultimately triumphs. For in the Leithian, the Release from Bondage, victory is achieved through sacrifice and not through power: Huan's sacrifice of loyalty and life, Beren's sacrifice of his body (Erchamion) and his life as well, and the overarching sacrifice of Lúthien's own life and fate, which both serves as their own personal triumph and lays the foundations for the victory and redemption of the Three Kindreds at the end of the Age. And Finrod's sacrifice is key among these - laying down his power, his authority, and his life both for Beren individually and also for the Edain as a whole.

Sauron's power may dominate and subjugate, but it is through Finrod's peace that hope grows to fruition and gil estel rises.

[artbyblastweave]

An old favorite of mine- just in terms of big loredumps for settings I'll never run or play a game in- is the GURPS sourcebook Reign of Steel, a terminator inspired setting where the twist is that there are in fact eighteen forks of the bargain-brand skynet and the human resistance only scrapes by as well as it does because of how much energy they expend being catty to one another over their territorial holdings

[justsayinghi5]

Wow all of these takes are so good