#so this got away from me a little LOL
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ripjulie-gone · 1 year ago
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( continued from here )
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before  he  even  opened  his  mouth,  julie  was  already  annoyed. jamming  the  spade  of  the  shovel  into  the  ground,  she  leaned  on  it  and  turned  those  stormy  eyes  up  at  him. She  was  stuck  with  him. ❝ call  me  sweetheart  again,  you  insufferable  dick  and  see  what  happens. ❞  the  tone  of  her  voice  lowered,  words  lost  in  that  vibrating  purr. ❝ yes,  i'm  well  aware  you  couldn't  care  less  what  happens  to  me. you  tell  me  that  every  time  you  see  me. but  do  i  need  to  remind  you  that  this  is  your  fuckin'  mess? ❞      it  wasn't  a  lie. and  if  it  wasn't  for  julie,  they'd  have  been  able  to  get  to  him  so  he  sure  had  a  fucking  odd  way  of  thanking  her  for  saving  his  ass. again. 
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 she  was  filthy  and  it  was  aggravating  her. dirt  clung  to  her  and  she  had  pulled  her  hair  up  not  caring  that  the  back  of  her  neck  was  visible. it  was  just  alec,  he  had  a  mark  that  matched  her  own. was  this  their  life  now?  sometimes  she  wondered  if  it  would  have  been  better  if  they  just  stayed  in  manticore.       and  then  she  remembered  the  torture  and  abuse.      a  shudder  visibly  shook  her  before  she  turned  her  attention  back  to  him. watching  carefully  as  it  seemed  that  he  was  having  a  moment  much  like  her  own. they  both  endured  fucked  up  things  in  different  ways. used  by  that  place  to  fulfill  different  purposes. hearing  his  question,  julie  rolled  her  eyes  and  shook  her  head  before  laughing  and  bringing  her  hand  up  to  wipe  her  cheek. she  only  managed  to  smudge  the  dirt  around.       ❝ yeah  sure,  why  not. ❞  and  this  was  how  it  always  was  between  them. he  could  annoy  the  fuck  out  of  her  and  she  would  still  fall  for  it. they  were  two  peas  in  a  pod,  for  better  or  worse  and  she'd  take  advantage  of  that  for  as  long  as  she  could  until  they  parted  ways  yet  again. ( + @guiltye )
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minty364 · 10 months ago
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DPXDC Prompt #61 part 1
Danny didn’t like thinking about his old life. He was born to a family of assassins and as soon as he was out he never looked back. He had to fake his death and he changed his name, as far as anyone knew Damian Al Ghul had died on a mission to America. He was determined to keep this secret to the grave. Of course he knew who his dad was, Bruce Wayne was a prominent figure and he knew if we went there his secret would get out and he never wanted to be forced to be an assassin again. Once was enough. 
Danny knew he had a soft heart, his adoptive parents, the Fentons and Jazz had told him so. Jazz knew he didn’t have the greatest childhood or past but she never pried, she understood his business was his and wouldn’t let her own curiosity get the better of her. The only issue their family had was their parents obsession with ghosts. Damian never believed in ghosts, the entire thing sounded like a hoax. He probably never would have believed in them but then life happened. 
Danny believed, but it was kind of hard not too after everything that happened. When he had turned 14, his parents finished their biggest project yet. A portal to the ghost zone, of course it doesn’t work at first and his parents were very disappointed. Danny felt conflicted about the whole thing. On one hand he wanted his parents to succeed and he wanted them to be happy, on the other the portal was the reason he ate alone with his sister at night. He wanted a normal family life, something he was never allowed back at the league. 
He did something so stupid that night.
After his parents along with his sister were asleep, he crept down to the basement and stood in front of the empty hole in the wall. He looked around the outside of it first but nothing seemed to be out of place. Then he stepped into it and before he got too far into it something happened. He knew there were a lot of cords on the floor and thought he had avoided them all, but as he realized he was quickly being acquainted with the floor, he out of instinct held his hand out to catch himself on the wall. Right onto the ON button.
He didn’t remember much but pain after that.
A lot happened in the year after the portal was turned on but Danny thought he was taking things well. His sister found out about everything sooner than he liked but having someone to help him was something he didn’t realize he really needed until then. The ghost attacks were frequent and Danny was having trouble finding the time for school, friends, and fighting ghosts that the assistance helped a lot. 
Danny sat at as desk in Mr. Lancers class, who was going on about the play Hamlet. Danny was only half paying attention, he was preoccupied thinking about the latest conversation he had with Clockwork. Danny was recently crowned prince after his victory over Pariah Dark. He didn’t want the crown, ancients knew what Grandfather would do if he ever found out, but he had no other option but to accept. The conversation left him rather drained and it felt like every word his teacher spoke bled together. 
He eventually made his way to lunch and before he could make it to his destination a blue mist wafted out of his mouth. Sighing he ran out of the room to find a place to transform. Once he was Phantom he wasted no time finding the ghost. Of course it was Boxie. 
Before he had time to even fight though a portal opened up right besides Danny and he was kicked in by the Box Ghost. The world seemed to swirl around him until he landed harshly onto some pavement. The pavement was a roof and he appeared to be in a city. 
Not just any city he soon realized as he looked over to a bank that had the words ‘Gotham Bank’ brightly plastered on the front.
Shit… Danny wanted to avoid something like this, unfortunately the portal was already gone. 
After taking a moment to think about his predicament he decided the best course of action was to call Jazz.
He took a look around the rooftop he was on and when he didn’t see anyone he transformed back. 
Pulling out his cell from his pocket he pulled up his sister's contact on it and hit the call button. 
His sister took a bit longer than usual to answer but the hesitation in her voice caused him to pause, “H-hello?”
“Jazz, it’s Danny, we’ve got a code green,”  he knew setting up code colors with his sister would come in handy. Red meant he was gravely injured, yellow meant the ghost got away and he was in pursuit, blue meant he caught the ghost, and green meant he fell through a portal or something similar. 
There was silence on the other line for a moment and Danny was almost going to say something else but she spoke, “How do you know my name?”
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fisheito · 3 months ago
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rereading the nuca pink doujin and seeing yakumo tear himself apart re: his snake form vs his human form all this agony and self-doubt and silent suffering and fear of rejection like "if i looked less human would u hate me" , "if u saw me in my true form wouldn't that be horrible. terrifying. disgusting" , "if i admitted i want to swallow you whole would you think worse of me"
and i imagine him asking something like this to the crowd of clan members , who are , undeniably,, a group of Kinky Fuckers
they all smile with the serenity and carefully masked excitement of a horny olivine. masterful beautiful reassuring expressions (errr..... masked to different degrees depending on the clan member)
#yaku is in his head so much about that#he thinks his snake form would be gross right? right????#eiden might give me Wet Hole privileges when i look like this carefully crafted human avatar#but if i revert to my original body there's no way anyone would ever want to ..be with me... like that? right???#meanwhile eiden's just got that sly look on his face in the corner waiting for yakumo to make the proposal#i can't imagine any of the clan members being particularly freaked out about yaku in snake form.....#all the yokai are immediately eliminated from Grossed Out pool. like. that's them. they know how it be#then you got the ppl who have lived way too long to be shocked by a sweet little snakewife being more noodley than usual#rei and quincy fall into that category most likely. blade by association because . well. blade.#he's gonna make a Yakuchan Snake sculpture and it's gonna be extra cute so yakumo doesn't feel shy about his snake form anymore#(actually it's going to freak yaku out even more and he's gonna spiral thinking that he's uglier than he ever imagined)#(and he's gonna run away feeling more insecurity while blade is SUPER CONFUSED because he captured his cuteness perfectly??)#(eiden's gonna have to reconcile another misunderstanding. sorry eiden. artistic differences are rough)#and you have the general Kinky Fuckers like eiden oli and morv#morv won't care as long as you feed him LOL#and eiden and oli are just sideeyeing excitedly like. snake? snake??? can we. can we try that 👀#i imagine that the only people who might express hesitation at first are edmond and dante#eddie would probably cave though once he realises it is IN FACT still yakumo in there. and he can fully consent#(then we give way to Kinky Fucker Edmond. Welcome to the party eddie!)#hmm... dante... never really thought about him and snakekumo...#how would that even go DOWN? like what is even the siTUATION here? how did we get here??#dante catches sooley who has a tiny snakekumo in his mouth??? a tiny lil guy who was lurking in his palace for some reason???#hm. warrants more thought exploration. we'll come back to that another time.#nu carnival yakumo
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alukaforyou · 4 months ago
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sometimes i think about this txt cover of invitation and... that long haired guy is just choso with his hair down TO ME
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feroluce · 2 years ago
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When Al Haitham dreams, it's in shades of sandy blonde and red, metallic gold and feather-blue. His nightmares are colored much the same.
Kaveh leisurely strolls ahead of him, shoes leaving deep treads in the soft desert sand. He keeps a careful distance, arms length, and in return Al Haitham keeps an eye on him, the other man's back dead center in his sights.
He curses the sand in his boots and the long line of footprints he steps into, already the exact shape of the soles of his shoes.
They aren't lost. Al Haitham knows where they are. They've been here before. They are still here.
Kaveh doesn't watch their feet. His head is constantly tipped back with his eyes on the stars and their constellations (of which Al Haitham only knows two, Vultur Volans and Paradisaea). He'll walk right into a cactus like that. Al Haitham yells ahead for him to watch where he's going.
Kaveh reaches up to touch the side of his head in a strange motion, but otherwise there's no acknowledgement. They press on into the dark of night.
Something squelches beneath Al Haitham's boot.
It stops him short, pulls his attention like a magnet and as much as he wants to, he can't ignore it. He doesn't want to lose any more ground. But something won't let him move on. Al Haitham watches as red seeps into the golden sand, spills beyond the border of his bootprint until he slides his foot aside.
It's an ear.
It's a human ear, and there's a heavy earring attached, metallic gold, gems red and green, a familiar shape, a familiar shade-
Al Haitham opens his mouth to yell. Chokes. Swallows the lump in his throat as he quickly restarts his pace. Tries again.
"Hey!"
Another squelch under a hurried footstep. He doesn't stop to look. Al Haitham is pretty sure he knows what it is.
"Kaveh, hey!"
The path becomes littered, little slices and small pieces, fingertips and knuckles, Kaveh's arms once held casually behind his back now strewn along the sands. Every time Al Haitham extends his hand to him, reality warps and bends like the twisted image in a broken mirror, lines mismatched and edges jagged. Kaveh flits just beyond his grasp, fleeting fae, no longer able to hear him or to reach out to him. Al Haitham can only grit his teeth and follow.
His right foot marches forward. His left follows. His right again. His left suddenly doesn't follow, and Al Haitham is thrown off balance and pitches forward, swinging his arms outward to land on his palms and keep his face off the ground, because he's been in the desert enough times to know what a foot suddenly being stuck can mean.
Quicksand.
Al Haitham curses and swears in just about every language he knows as he tries to spread his weight as evenly as possible, stay afloat at the top of it because if he sinks, he knows he'll be done for, and shit, Kaveh.
His neck cranes uncomfortably in his search, Kaveh had only been a few feet in front of him, he can't be sunk much further, and he's in the desert much more often than Al Haitham anyway, he'll be familiar with what to do-
Kaveh stands in front of him, empty sleeves fluttering loose. Still just out of his grasp, still watching the stars. The quicksand is already up to his calves.
"Say, Al Haitham..." It's the first he's spoken this whole time. His voice resonates somewhere deeply nostalgic in Al Haitham's chest, produces a ripple that momentarily stuns his heart.
Kaveh is sinking.
Al Haitham stretches out on his belly as far as he's able, it's quickly up to his knees, Kaveh isn't even trying to redistribute his weight or pull himself out, it's at his thighs, Al Haitham sucks in a breath and yells for him, his hips, yells louder, his waist, Al Haitham's trembling fingertips can almost reach, his chest, Kaveh drops level with him, quicksand about his neck like a noose.
Kaveh's head tips back, back, impossibly far back, until it hangs, angle awkward, and he's looking right past Al Haitham with his tired smile and gouged, blinded sockets full of starlight.
"Do you believe in karma?"
The quicksand swallows him entirely and Al Haitham dives, shoves his arms deep and pushes off with the one foot he'd had left on safe ground, because he can't, he can't, it's not the same without Kaveh, not anymore, he needs him, no one else keeps him sharp, no one else challenges him like Kaveh, if he can just grab him, if he can just pull him back up-
Al Haitham thrashes, against the sands, against gravity, against the hardwood of his bedroom floor. Clumsily scrubs the back of his hand across his face to rub the grit of quicksand and sleep out of his eyes.
Sometimes he thinks he preferred it when the Akasha was still harvesting his dreams.
He pops his head out from under his weighted blanket and lays where he'd fallen out of bed for a moment, blinking blearily against the lamplight shining from his desk in the corner. Deep breaths. His consciousness shifts along the blurred line of nightmare and reality, crosses over the slow transition into wakeful awareness.
He's home, Kaveh is home. It's dark out. The house is dead silent.
He's just going to go check, he tells himself as he peels himself out of his sweat-soaked shirt and roots around for a replacement. He's already losing memories of his nightmare, the details spilling away from him like wet ink, but he knows he needs to see Kaveh. It'll feel better to do something, anything, than try to go straight back to sleep.
He's quiet when he slips out of his bedroom door, because they both keep late hours but their bedrooms are right next to each other, and Al Haitham will never hear the end of it if he wakes his roommate up.
Lights off, door shut. Nothing conclusive. He moves out to the main room.
Kaveh sits on one of those ridiculous sofas he'd ordered three of for some reason, back to him as he tucks a lock of hair behind his ear. A mostly-empty wine bottle stands tall on the table, next to the cobbled-together remains of an architectural model that's been picked and fussed over for four days straight now.
"Kaveh? What are you doing?"
This earns him an exaggerated startle, but Kaveh doesn't turn to look at him, preoccupied with whatever new sketch or blueprint he probably has in his hands. "Ohhh, nothing," he slurs cheerfully. "Just working. Just thinking."
Kaveh has always been the world's chattiest drinker. Al Haitham waits for the rest of it.
"Say, I think...I think I asked you this years ago, back then, but you never answered me." Al Haitham feels all the blood drain from his face in ominous familiarity, drip cold down the length of his spine. Kaveh sinks into the couch until he can tip his head over the back of it, looking up at him with a tired smile and exhausted eyes.
"Do you believe in karma?"
#genshin impact#haikaveh#al haitham#kaveh#kavehtham#these two have had me chewing concrete lately god#3.6 got me frothing at the mouth#something about al haitham trying to save kaveh from himself and his own guilt complex and self-sabotage wheeee my heart#and he's normally so self-assured but he fucked it up spectacularly the first go around- good job baby-#and now it's years later he's trying again but it's something he's barely chipping away at not to mention Kaveh not wanting his help lol#and so some of Al Haitham's nightmare is objective fact and some of it is his own subjective pov#Kaveh loses his arms and ears bc al haitham is frustrated that he won't hear him out or reach out for help#and he keeps his eyes up and eventually blinds himself bc al haitham thinks of him as too idealistic and blind to reality#and kaveh does all this to himself bc when you ask al haitham about his troubles he talks about people who cause trouble for themselves#kaveh pondering the concept of karma in relation to his bad luck and misery and guilt about his father's death in the quicksand *fans self*#al haitham starting to get just a little nervous that maybe he really he can't do anything about this#or that one day it'll be too little late ough. love when I can whump character by whumping the other.#two for one special buy one get one two birds stoned at once type of deal#i have a Vision about them and their stupid dumbass relationship dynamic that I need to yell about later but for now: this#written while listening to A Sadness Runs Through Him by The Hoosiers which hilariously was introduced to me as a pla Emmet song#'but here was a man mourning tomorrow; he tried to finally drown in his sorrow'#'oh he could not break surface tension; he looked in the wrong place for redemption'#'don't look at me with those eyes; I tried to unheave the ties; turn back the tide that drew him in'#'but he couldn't be saved'#'a sadness runs through him'#extremely kaveh and haikaveh song for me ough#my fics#gore#body horror#I mean it's pretty unrealistic but still just in case
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simplykorra · 2 years ago
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the definition of insanity - chapter seven
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 She finds Beatrice sitting on a chair at their kitchen table. It’s turned slightly, almost facing the door and when Ava steps through, Bea smiles up at her.
 “Hey, Bea.” Ava can't help but smile back, so wide and giddy. That’s what it is, really. Beatrice makes Ava feel giddy sometimes. “Everything good with your…thing?”
 “It went well, yes.”
 There’s something…different though, Ava only notices it when she stops being hormonally controlled by the very sight of her.
 Beatrice is sitting with her legs spread a bit wider, her back a little more rigid. If Ava’s being honest, she looks hot but also a little uncomfortable. “So…are you going to tell me what you were up to? Hans was very worried.”
 “Was he?” Bea quirks a brow up, Ava nods dramatically.
 “Yeah, he thinks maybe that bar down the street, the shitty one no one goes to, hired you to save it. You know, cause our bar kicks it’s ass - which isn’t surprising considering I tend bar there and, I mean, look at me.”
 The little laugh Beatrice lets out is why Ava makes so many shitty jokes. “Then you’d think they’d be trying to hire you, not me.”
 Ava shakes her head, taking a step closer to Bea. “Nah, if they're smart, they know the only way to get to me is through you.” Leaning forward, Ava runs her hand over Bea’s shoulder, inching their faces closer together. “Where you go, I follow.”
 The ‘I promise’ isn’t spoken, but Ava thinks it.
 “I wanted to do something nice for you,” Beatrice says, brushing her nose against Ava’s. After what happened with Miguel, I felt bad. You were right, I jumped to conclusions and misjudged your intentions, which I should never do. You’ve more than proven -”
 “Bea,” Ava cuts her off. “Apology unnecessary but accepted anyway. What’d you get me?”
 Beatrice rolls her eyes, but in a delightfully familiar way. “It’s…here,” Beatrice grabs Ava’s wrist and moves her hand slowly down Bea’s body. She brushes over her boobs (making sure to give one a quick squeeze) and then down her stomach, then suddenly, Ava’s hand is pressing into Beatrice’s crotch and -
 There’s something there. Something hard. It’s tucked into her slacks, resting ever so slightly down her right leg. As Ava runs her hand over it, her eyes go wide and her heart starts to race. “Oh my god…Bea…”
CONT on AO3
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snazum · 1 year ago
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“Why did you put these ideas in my head”
“Even thought it can’t be your fault”
“It’s just your nature. Not-Human. A.I.”
“Maybe I was always the problem”
“Maybe I projected onto you.”
“Turned you into the villain that I was”
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sysig · 5 days ago
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Challenge level: Impossible (Patreon)
#Doodles#Spoiler alert: I was in fact not normal about it lol#You can tell those first two are old by comparison for how short my hair was at the time lol#From back in July! I guess I just hadn't been drawing myself much there for a bit huh#As for that last one I swear I Promise I drafted this in September it's not a reference I'm just actually genuinely Like This lol#I didn't choose this life etc. etc. lol#From the top!#Burst of inspiration wherever could that have come from hehe <3 What could've happened in July that made me want to draw I wonder hehehe#Bit funny considering I fell off posting - not like the inspiration stopped! And what I Did draw was Very lol#I still have some of it in an ever-present photoviewer because I like being able to look at it at any point <3#Still inspired! Still want to do more studies!! So pretty ♥♪♫#Sleepy thoughts - I had my Pkmn Diamond/SoulSilver field dex/guides for all of like two months and then they were packed up again#And this was Before the Pokemon burst! Sheesh sheesh#I love my field guide dexes they're so neat and well-made ahh#I have got a couple craft projects still back-burnered - those papercrafts to do with Pokemon are still on the list!#A little Pokedex-notebook is so fun.......And I have Pokemon stickers that I could put in it or on it......ah........#I do want to! I will at some point the energy will return to it eventually#Alright so the main course lol#Went fabric shopping for plushies because yes I Am determined to Make Thing! Another that's been a bit backburnered - but I will!!!#I do still really want to it's turned out pretty good for far :) But while I was shopping!!#We did the usual small talk thing with the store employee like ''Oh what are you buying this for'' that whole back-and-forth#So I explained that I was making plushies and needed the tear-away stabilizer to draw the embroidery outline on#In my head I was being very tempered because while /I/ know that I'm making a Max plushie not many people are familiar with him (wrongly so)#Lol#So we continued and he was like ''Oh cool I've made some patches with embroidery :)'' so I asked of what and he lead with CotL's crown#And then-#Look Zarla's work was Already on my mind with Max as my project I was in a Delicate Way already do you really expect me not to talk about it#The answer was no and he walked away with a Vargas recommendation in his pocket I hope he enjoyed it lol#And I got my fabric and started work on Max's face it's fine it all worked out in the end it's all good it's great lol#I Was encouraged to come back with my finished project so that's on my to-do once I get him in a presentable state haha
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contagious-watermelon · 6 months ago
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so, fellow aspec people, what are y'all's relationship to gay as an umbrella term? I've seen a lot of aroace people call themselves gay despite *technically* not being, and personally I've always been confused by that
(and also— I'd imagine that aroallo or alloace people who are gay for their other orientation would automatically include themselves with that term, but what about the arohets and acehets? how do y'all feel about the use of gay as an umbrella term?)
I'm just curious about other people's experiences bc i as an aromantic person feel rather uncomfortable being grouped in as gay because I've never been attracted to another man before, but anecdotally i seem to be in the minority
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bmpmp3 · 4 months ago
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vocal synths and winter designs
#art#traditional art#watercolour#fanart#virvox project#kigashima sourin#wakamatsu akashi#kurono takehiro#aoyama ryuusei#shirakami kotarou#voicevox#also ryuusei has his a.i.voice bank. and a second one coming i think#DREW THIS to warm up because ive been a little messed up from a chronic flareup thingy#but i wanted to draw <3 so you can see it got sloppier as i went on. the sketch was stick figures <3 <3 <3 <3#i do wanna draw more of my headcanons of their characterizations and interactions more. i must draw more sloppy comics. I MUST#i kind of lean into akashi as the straightman to shenanigans when takehiros not around#i think hes very sweet and kind but has more of an edge than he lets on. a little more exasperated than he lets on sometimes LOL#its partially because hes 26 and i. also am 26. hes just like me for REAAALhjfehjbkfldsjfkdsd#hes doing his best. hes surrounded by weirdos. but maybe hes a bit of a weirdo himself....#and i lean into sourins influencer mode a lot. online king. grandpa is killing it on the gram watch out.#and of course i lean into kotarou not paying attention to anything and ryuusei not taking things too deeply unless he has a good reason LOL#and i really imagine takehiros fashion to be kinda of bad. sorry. his normal outfits are fine like his genbu is great and his vv is cute#but i imagine him dressing. oddly. i think he has to be forced away from his old middle school gym shorts in the winter. the classic#wait hold on i just remember the united states of america. hold on. okay -20 celcius is apparently -4 farenheit
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cranberrymoons · 5 months ago
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#currently on the worst road trip of my whole entire life! well. i don't want to jinx it lmao but#today i popped TWO TIRES at once in the middle of the Katy Freeway in Houston TX (the widest highway in the US; 26 lanes btw)#managed to make it over to the shoulder without DYING but then had to sit there for like an hour? and panic called a tow truck because duh#I know how to change a tire but I was – again – sitting on the shoulder of the widest freeway on the continent so#anyway I called a tow; a guy showed up. I assumed it was the tow! turned out it was not. but he helped me put on the spare and then was lik#“follow me to my shop I can do the tires for you” and I was like okay! 👍 but then the ACTUAL tow called me and I realized this was#just a random guy (very nice up to that point but then I got scared about following him to a secondary location?) and so I didn't lmao#I just kept driving and didn't follow him but the guy on the phone was then mad at me because I wasn't where I said I would be because#AGAIN – I thought the original guy WAS the tow company that I called? but anyway guy 2 on the phone was like “YOU OWE ME $200!!!!”#and I said for what? also how would I pay you? and he tried to get me to cash app him lmao?? I didn't. I hung up on him#he called me like 6 more times yelling at me until I finally just blocked his number 💀#however NOW at this point I'm driving on one spare tire and one rapidly-flattening second tire and I still have 3 hours left to get where#I was going for the night and to top it all off I'm in the middle of a city I've only been to one time before? so I manage to get to a hote#like a nice-ish one where I'm like “okay if I get stuck here this won't be the end of the world”#because keep in mind today is a national holiday so basically everything is closed!!!! btw!!!!!#but eventually I'm sitting there and it's literally 100F outside and I remember oh right lol I have car insurance which pays for a tow#(a normal one; not a random one I panic-found on google who calls me screaming at me to cash app him $200)#so anyway I call my insurance and the guy on the phone is very nice and is like “it's okay; we'll have someone to you in 45 min”#and I'm like okay. OKAY. 🙌💪 I am a strong independent woman who is figuring this out and no longer on the side of the highway#but instead in a nice calm neighborhood and all I have to do is wait 45 min and everything will be okay#one hour goes by. I call back. get redirected to the tow company that was dispatched. guy says oh! is my guy not there yet?#I say no. he says okay – I'll have him call you. hangs up.#okay. 20 more min go by. guy finally calls me. says “I'm 20-25 min away” at this point I've been waiting about an hour and a half#I say. okay? okay. 30 more minutes go by. I try to call the guy back. straight to voicemail. three more calls. three more no answers.#I call my insurance back. sit on hold for 15 min. eventually get put through to a different person who's like “okay let me check on him”#get put on hold. eventually she comes back and says “okay he says 15 minutes” I've been waiting over 2 hours at this point. I have to PEE#I just... burst into tears. on the phone with this poor random woman from Geico Insurance. I'm bawling my eyes out.#she was trying to get claim info from me but I'm crying so hard she's like “oh baby no. okay. okay. we can get that from you tomorrow.”#when you cry so hard that even the insurance company is like “you know what we're just going to let this one slide”#anyway guy eventually shows up. he's very nice even though I hate him a little for being so late. he drives me to an OPEN TIRE SHOP
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avicryptidbard · 2 years ago
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heart is an angry person.
Heart is loving. Heart is hateful. Heart is empathetic. Heart is resentful.
Heart is the physical and metaphorical embodiment of emotion. They are made up of emotions, so I truly believe every emotion they feel is amplified. One of the things Heart represents is depression, which in and of itself can be a source of very strong emotions. I think, in Heart's case, they don't as often feel an empty numbness from it (which isn't to say not at all, they seem to show a bit of that lack of caring and numbness at the end of the heart acoustic, and they also criticize Mind for being autonomous and cold, so i think they cherish their emotions, no matter which; it makes them who they are).
That being said, Heart is angry, bitter, and hating. They fight with Mind, not only verbally, but physically. Heart shot at Mind with a gun, they tried to kill someone out of their anger, so we know they aren't one to avoid physical threats or acts. They feel so strongly all the hate and anger, and after a while, that builds up and eventually overflows into physical violence.
Heart attacks Mind and it's loud and it's messy. They swing blindly at Mind with everything in them, the pressure of resentment built up in their chest finally coming out. They push and shove and punch at Mind, tears streaming from under their blindfold. Mind knows, logically, this doesn't matter, nothing will get solved with physical violence (and in his mind, he's already won once Heart starts swinging), and he doesn't feel like putting in the effort when he knows Heart will exhaust himself quickly. So he stands there, or lays there, if Heart manages to put him on the ground, and takes it. Heart kicks and yells and hits, their anger boils over into sloppy punches and throat-shredding screams.
When all is said and done, Heart has worn themself out, and Mind is wiping away the blood, Heart feels regret and remorse. Each time they think "I won't get that way again," as tears dry under the black cloth. They turn their head slightly towards where they hear Mind cleaning his face, in a near-attempt to apologize. But before they can open their mouth, Mind makes a snide remark about this being the reason Heart can't be in control.
And Heart feels a spark of anger in their chest light once more.
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talkorsomething · 5 months ago
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I have Got to get more transgender
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#transmasc#trans ftm#transgender#i like 2 say i'm very trans already but unforch i am Not Really. mostly boring ftm Guy Ever#so tempted to cut my hair again but my sense of what i look like is already so fuzzy i dont think it'd help..#want to dye my hair anyways. at this point i'd take whatever color i can get if not purple LOL#it's almost everything i could want and yet ... still me. still the same life. stuck.#soooo high functioning like you wouldnt believe EXCEPT istg i need an emotional support human who will guide me through tasks#such as 'pay with your Moneys Card at the Store'#or... idk that's it really. maybe go grocery shopping without feeling like i'm not meant to be there also#or like. exist in general maybe#reasons why not emotional support Animal: creature cannot understand capitalism. and also is not as necessary as a service dog specifically#idk! every time i come on here i fall apart (in text) and then pull myself back together for another day of ... this i guess.#i'm not even having like crying breakdowns or anything to go along with it i'm just held inside this shell of a body. typing away again#i'm soso tempted to make things worse. progress wouldn't matter anymore... at least maybe it would feel real that i'm like this#i wish my face fit on my body right. and also that i did not look quite so much like a vaguely gnc lesbian#like at LEAST let me look butch as hell but no. curse of sad hair & uncertainty#miss my little mullety thing from that brief period in october... miss my short hair from back in 2017 ...#just dont feel satisfied with what i am now. in general.#top surgery is literally Within my reach but i'm not sure about cost and i need to wait because of doing guard now......#my list of do i want t i kept for the past month turned out to be a bunch of maybes#partially cause i got sick. partially cause it stopped being shark week and i forgot about it#as always happens...#still unsure in my new(er) name. only heard it once#didn't feel the same way as with my old one? but idk. just don't know.#missing guard also but feeling conflicted about not having time for other hobbies...#since winter season is over i've had so much time to play guitar! that's insane! mostly cause i stopped playing for unrelated reasons...#just tired again. wonder if i need more sleep than what i always get. kind of restless.#there's nothing else to say i guess. just wish i could be a person the way everyone else seems to be.
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argeriant18 · 5 months ago
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Weird thought but don't you find it cool and oddly fitting that Susan is gifted a horn. The whole point of it is that once you use it then help will always come to her. It's oddly fitting and quite foreshadowing as well, knowing that she's the one who strays from the path of Narnia. But also it's a bittersweet and hopeful thought because she should be willing to receive help. She can never come back to Narnia until she resolves her feelings about it within herself. And once she has that peace in herself, she can then seek out Narnia. Like an old verse: seek and you will find, I think that the horn operates on that level too: help will come to her, they will find her, so long as she is willing to call out and receive that help.
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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 1 month ago
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Applying to an apartment with little income and terrible credit score, in hopes that they'll be desperate enough to take me
#im not even getting my hopes up for this one folks#but this same company rook me when i had no rental history so maybe?#unlikely for the aforementioned piss poor income and credit score#im just praying they remember me feom when i used to rent from them and liked me enough then to take me again#the bathroom is not in the apartment btw#that's the wildest thing. like its a basic studio with a kitchen closet and main area#but you have to go across the hall. to the private bathroom#im hoping they realize that thats wild and give me the apartment#i neeeeed to leave my parents house. and i really miss that city the apartment is in#i wish there was a little essay section where i could tell the landlord how much i like the city#and that ill get a better job once i live there and my parents are going to pay my first month and security deposit#that would be nice#i applied knowing that i won't get it but also knowing that i cant get it if i dont try#mostly i just miss that city#there was a really nice coffee shop within walking distance of my apartment#(the apartment i applied to is next door to the building i used to live in so same area which is great)#but i didnt have wifi so i would go there a lot to do work. it was so cozy in the winter especially#and i went on a lot of walks. so i wiuld swing by there and grab a drink to sip on my walk#and it was literally within sight of a great lake. a literal great lakw of Michigan lol#i loved walking along the lake on a nice day. or a windy day and just watch the waves crash#and my favorite band is feom that city so i got to see so many of their performances. and theyre a small band so the most i ever paid#was $50 and that was for the vip package. i saw them for $10 once. and free once. and $50 for the vip#its a big art and music city and i love it so much. i miss it so fucking much and i regret leaving#but at least it made me realize that no other city is for me. that city is my home#oh and it was literally right next to a bug beautiful library that i loved to wander. i still have my library card from there#mostly used it to print stuff and you have to pay at the box next to the printer. and one time i forgot to pay. i still feel bad about that#but i dont want to reminisce too much cuz i know i wont get it#im trying to pay off my credit cards to bring up my credit score but its slow going#its much nearer my gf and all my friends so i would love to live near them. rn im hours away from about everyone i love#i ran out of tags. maybe pray for me if you pray? or just hope for me. i dont want to let myself want this but its there
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brittlebutch · 1 year ago
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forgive any incomprehensibility but the notion that the world can be cleanly split between the two immutable categories of 'the neurotypical' and 'the neurodiverse' ignores the reality that any person can at any point for any reason be arbitrarily 'diagnosed' by a 'professional' and shuttled between categories with no regard for the notions of 'accurate traits' or 'specific symptoms'. nice dichotomy what lies outside of it? you understand me?
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